#also my other wrist also hurts
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i just want to draw, this is getting ridiculous
yes it is counter intuitive to draw myself complaining, when drawing is presumably the source of said pain. but it's surprisingly cathartic.
#i started drawing again recently bc my hand hurt anyway#so how much worse could it get#the answer will not surprise you!#also my other wrist also hurts#presumably from using the mouse and typing? not sure#either way it's bullshit and i want a refund#for those wondering yes i have rested#a lot#yes i've worn braces and seen doctors and gotten tests done#nothing has worked and it's been almost 3 goddamn years#the answer is probably something like#'rest for 1-2 months straight with no exertion and then immediately go into PT for another few months to recover before doing anything else#but without a guarantee that would work i can't exactly do that#also i dont have access to PT anyway#im rambling i'll stop#sketch#sketch art
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Just two kids who got left behind
So now we got Clay's side of the cave in!! He didnt really have time to process any of the emotions he was feeling due to having to immediately run for his life, then guide others to safety alongside Viva.
This was made mostly in response to this fun little tag by @zivazivc
I wasn't planning on drawing it up so soon but AUGH I had to, also ty I pride myself in drawing raw emotions
Btw I do read all the tags and comments I get on my posts I'm very happy to have crushed you all thoroughly 💖
#my art#n2 au#trolls#trolls 3#trolls au#trolls band together#trolls clay#trolls viva#trolls john dory#im having a lot of fun#i also have like 4 or 5 mor posts locked and loaded about this au#ill probably schedule them to go out for the next few days while i work on other stuff#but ill still like answer asks#i just have been hyper fixating on this and i forgor i have another comic im supposed to be focusing on#but thats for another day#im really excited to share all the silly things ive made#theres quite a few#when i go bonkers insane about something i go#bonkers insane#my wrist hurts so bad but that will not stop me#im so much stronger than possible carpal tunnel#but yeah about little clay doh#he is not well lmao#mentally or physically#hes grieving and terrified and theres so much responsibility on his shoulders#he also feels like its his fault if JD got caught in the cave in#because if hed gone back with his brothers before the escape JD wouldnt have to go back for him#but he loves being with Viva so#its a whole mess of emotions#the reunion with his bros minus jd when they find him is going to be very different
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originally just doodling this to hash out an idea and not post, but the vibes passed peer review teehee; heres sollux actively taking the L on the only one bed trope lol
#tmos has art#eridan ampora#sollux captor#erisol#homestuck#not only did this finally put to pen the headcanon eridan rolls around and latches onto shit in his sleep#it also made me realize in panel 5 sollux is giving the same hunched stare energy i gave him in that one other comic LMAO#eridan does something sollux doesnt expect and he gets the autism stare out of it <3#anyways why the fuck did i draw this today my wrist was already hurting while i was making off fanart as warmups 🙈
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Day 1 Attacks for Toas (The Savior) and Bug-wings (The Navigator) Slugcat time...
#artfight#i looked at my bookmarks and like 90% of the slugcats i prebookmarked took werewolf. guys i need the awesome critter to be on the other tea#oh well!! once the site stops taking four hours per page ill have to find more <- and do the ones i have#but also hurting my stupid little wrist again owie I will not be artfighting tomorrow my brace is giving me issues
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now ft. charlie and lucifer
#want to make the second repeat of this verse with 6 other characters but also my wrist hurts cdsjkcdbk#this was really fun tho and im sooo hyped of how it turned out so i will probably continue it tbh#hazbin hotel#charlie morningstar#hazbin hotel charlie#hazbin charlie#charlie hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#husk hazbin hotel#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel husk#vaggie hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vaggie#hazbin vaggie#hazbin alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel angel dust#angel dust hazbin hotel#hazbin angel dust
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all i have been able to think about today is that silly little knife game where you stab the spots between your fingers and try not to hurt yourself and how that silly little game is SO horrorkiller. i cant explain it it bothers me so much that i cant explain it but it just does its so them
they play it when theyre bored. because when in doubt bodily mutilation and the risk of hurt and pain is always an appealing one. and when i mean they i just mean killer because horror wouldn't wanna just hurt himself on the fly like that for funsies. he likes to see others hurt because hahaha FINALLY some damn entertainment!!! but hurting himself???? nononnno hes already got enough body pain as it is oh and killer has already grabbed his hand and started playing (and now horror can't back out because killer's got him sucked in the game)
they sing the silly little song. horror has all his fingers the knife goes chop chop chop if killer misses the spaces in between horror's fingers will come off! and they are both enraptured and both captured in this childishly morbid game. it's so anticipatory because they both know its all up to killer to decide if horror gets hurt. hes more than precise enough to keep the game going for hours long without ever hitting horror but would he want to keep it going for that long? horror doesn't know how long killer would want to wait before getting to see him react to getting hurt
and killer does eventually do it even after theyre sung the song over and over countless times and tried different harmonies and finally killer decides to end this little song and dance and stab into horror's hand. maybe he decides to do a finger. maybe the palm if he really wants to piss horror up. its sudden its surprising and GODDAMN is it painful!!!! horror's trying not to show it but with all the sweat and the way his fingers are twitching killer can see that it hurts him. it's a bit amusing :3
and then horror grabs the knife from killer and they do it all over again but this time horror's the one doing the stabbing. he's not as precise as killer. he hits him a lot more than killer hit him but goddamn it he is in PAIN and wants to let it out because hes annoying and irritated and goddamnit would killer just stop looking at him with that blank smile while he's bleeding out from his hand???? yeah horror's pissy
horror's annoyed and trying to get some form of petty revenge on killer (he likes it when he finally manages to get that stupid smile to falter just a little bit) and killer's watching horror desperately try not to just stab the knife through his oh so very exposed soul that he could very easily hurt if he really wanted to hurt killer. anyways the game finally ends when either one or both of them get bored! but thats fine!!! killer will get bored again and horror will end up escalating it to a messier point than it was before and the only thing that'll get hurt is the surface that they use to stab between fingers. oh and eachother of course :p
#just know that this was based solely off vibes going on in my head#none of this makes sense at all and i have no idea how to express what im thinking but DAMMIT i know what im talking about!!!!!#two sadists walk into a room. one of them enjoys pain one of them doesnt. they make out (horrorkiller)#i just really think theyre neat. it would be sweet to hear them sing that song. it fits them so well#horrorkiller has the knife game. kist has russian roulette. what does horrordust have#what homoerotic dangerously reckless game could horrordust play??? i dont particularly know..........#i remember playing this game when i was younger except i used a pencil. because i dont wanna fucking stab myself????#the song starts off by mentioning that they get drunk first which like. yeah that seems right#horror would start the game if he were first that way he'd get first turn and then get whiny when killer does it back#the knife goes chop chop chop NO IT DOESNT SILLY! the knife cuts the axe chops :3#horror's voice is all shaky and unstable from the anger and pain while killer's is smooth and calm despite him being hurt more#the dichotomy >>>> i love horrorkiller theyre my favorite mttduo!!!!#guy who feels too much and guy who doesnt feel enough. guy who tries to feel nothing is also there but this isnt about dust ok#cringe stuff i removed from the post: horrorkiller holding their mangled hands together while they play this game#the red and black of their blood mix together and drips on the floor from their ruined hands :3 so sweet..........#because horror needs a thing to squeeze while trying to pretend that killer stabbing through his fucking wrist doesnt hurt 💀#dust knows exactly what game they played the night before when horror starts wearing full gloves. and killer ditches his fingerless ones :3#kiiiillllerrrr stop showing off your stab wounds from your buddy thats not family friendly nor is it straight 😒😒😒😒#tricule hc#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#he's MENTIONED (like always. if the 3rd member of the trio wasn't mentioned in tags who would i be)#sans au#utmv#horrorkiller#horrorkiller nation (grand total of 5 people) cmere pspsspspspspsps#1/10 DONE for christmas uaagahhh. why did i tag this hrkl when technically all of my posts could be seen as mttpoly anywausLMAO im so tired#off to do the other 9/10 posts i have to finish.....hahahahaah iM SO TIRED WEARE STILL NOT OPENING GIFTS YET WTF PLEASE I WONT STAY AWAKE
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Drawing loth cats again lol I love drawing these guys there so cute man.
Also my artstyle is changing without my permission again tell it to stop
#Art#star wars art#loth cat#rebels#star wars rebels#Also why did this make my wrist hurt it's not as complicated as some of my other art oof
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Day 7: Flowers/Flower Language
Funeral flowers
#fhs week 2024#πa art#fnafhs#our au#fnafhs au#fhs#fhs fanart#fnafhs fanart#eak fnafhs#over his face scar (obvious) and over his wrist that hurts (less obvious)#and on the palm of his hand to signify he also has hurt others#can the kids stop mauling eachother#i dont really like this one that much :/ but!!! i think my idea was nice so whatever!
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I kinda maybe put a lot of my OC plot tag lines on a Wheel and gave it a spin so outta 79 options, it landed on "Cellphone Justice" which is... these two.
Matthew "Skittles" Mouse and Daisy Eddington
Partners in justice (of sorts). They're basically vigilantes and their orders are simply text messages. They don't really know who their bosses are but they do as they are told.
Skittles is a very mediocre guy. Doesn't stand out. The most color he has in his wardrobe is blue jeans. He's amazingly asexual and has zero interest in romance regardless of intimacy and yet he gets partnered with Daisy. The gayest lady he has ever met. Great start. She enjoys calling him fun little nicknames but seeing as they're monitored closely (via cell phones/technology) she is scolded and told to pick a single one. So she does. She dubs him Skittles. The candy as gay as her.
The one thing they have in common is their number one weakness: cute girls.
Daisy turns into a stuttering MESS of a human being. A disaster. At the mere sight of a cute girl. Skittles on the other hand is TERRIFIED of them. When asked, he simply blames his life growing up. Daisy doesn't really push the matter just thinks it's a little weird to be scared of every single cute girl (no offense to the not being afraid of her taken).
#my characters#like the entire thing with skittles is just he is SO boring looking and hes so scared of cute girls#and daisy thinks its REALLY FUNNY dude why are you scared of them haha girls are GREAT#and then she meets his younger sister and is like oh dang dude she is ADORABLE and she sees him practically shaking and sweating#surely its not THAT bad but ah no wait#two days pass and daisy is like oh my god shes horrifying ????? what the hell?#and growing up with her and trying to be a good big brother is all fine and dandy until the cute lil sister gets him hurt a lot#like hospital injuries from either protecting her or just .... somehow wrong place with her at the wrong times all the time#so he gets a fear of cute girls bc his lil sister is a cute monster who is the reason most of his limbs have been broken in the past#like broken leg ? that was from amelia and a stair case#the broken arm ? trying to help amelia get something out of a tree#the broken wrist ? catching amelia falling out of a tree#the other broken leg ? amelia -#the list goes on and on and he also got into multiple fights trying to keep her safe from guys#bc she really is just a cute lil innocent looking girl but shes a schemer and it does come back to bite her#except for she has a good big bro who took the repercussions when he could#daisy just watching her partner pale and shake and sweat when hes in the same room as his sister and daisy feels so bad for him#like hes really going through it even after all these years#but meeting amelia puts a lot into perspective for when daisy and skittles are out and about#cause hes very efficient and chill talking to dudes and to mature looking women#then he turns into a bundle of nerves at wide eyed innocence and daisy is like yeah ok i gotta#i gotta be a lil less gay for his sake only if hes around cause i cant make him talk to his biggest fear thats mean#shes still really gay but yeah it works out and she looks out for him and in turn he looks out for her and its great!#they become friends! yeehaw!#lil trivia is she was a drama kid in hs and he was on the baseball team but never really played or put effort into it#she was a straight a student and he very consciously maintained a c average through calculating grades and missing stuff on tests on purpos#anyway thank u if you read all the tags or even ty if you read just hte post itself#im sorry for ocing on main when its my own ocs#ill be back tomorrow with .... idk what
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2/15/24 Vulpins from Vulpin Adventure
bonus!! all my vulpins i love them so much
#daily dragons#digital#2/15/24#46#vulpin adventure#i fucking love these guys#i need to finish drawing my other guys i love them all they all deserve to be drawn#this is an old drawing but i woke up with my wrist hurting so idk that im gonna be able to draw much anyway#sorry for all the vulpin stuff i actually wouldve done something else but im in pain#but also i love them so whatever
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buh ultrakill dump i. have serious brainrot i NEED THESE FUNNY ROBOTS IN MY LIFE
theres like one i dont want to share ONLY BECAUSE ITS BEING USED FOR MY ULTRAKILL STREAM AND. im mostly proud cause it took a bunch of setup and was annoying as hell
#cruiyn#art#sfm#sfm render#sfm poster#v2 ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#ultrakill robots#i fucking love ultrakill#ultrakill#im like actively losing my shit atp#also i fucked up my hand/wrist the other day idk how it just hurts a lot whenever i do literally anything 😦
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Thinking thoughts about these tags at work today.
#specifically#armand knowing daniel's book has put his adult daughters directly in the line of retributive fire from other vampires#does he sit back and wait for the inevitable or does he intervene? does he use them as bait to catch vamps who would hurt daniel or louis?#we never got the blood amulet on daniel before he was turned and now he doesnt need it. armand's blood is in his veins.#what if armand gives one (or two) to daniel's daughters? but how to make them wear it without revealing himself?#daniel or kate finding the amulet in lenora's apartment after she's murdered.#armand visiting kate's home afterward incognito and opening his wrist to bleed om the bushes outside as a warning#I DONT KNOW MAN I DONT KNOW#also i am very attached to the idea of kate learning about vampires when she and her family are attacked and armand saves them#just because now armand controls the narrative#kate puts together that daniel became a vampire without telling her or her sister and then put a giant target on all their backs#and so when daniel starts arguing with armand about how he had met with lenora without telling him#and then revealed himself to kate and the grandkids#she takes ARMAND'S side because at least he was HONEST. at least he TRIED to protect them!#messy messy messy!#daniel holding up the blood amulet he found in lenora's things: and what you thought giving her this bullshit was gonna protect her?#kate: what are you talking about#kate: YOU gave her that when she was a kid.#daniel: wh--#kate: you gave ME the same necklace when I was like 8. I opened it on christmas morning.#kate: you even sent sybelle one when she was born#kate: i thought it was some kind of weird tradition from mom's side of the family in the old country...#daniel: ...#daniel: armand.#daniel: why did my daughters have vials of your blood as children.#armand: ... can we talk about this in private#(he says as they all stand in the middle of the freeway in California with Lestat's overturned tour bus on fire behind them)
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okay so my current dilemma is that it's 4am, I can't lift up the mattress to put the bed slats back into place on my own, I did manage to lift it up enough to look at them and realised there are way more slats out of place than I thought and some are bent as if they've been out of place like that for a long time, and I think we're gonna have to take the mattress off the bed, but there's nowhere we can put it that won't result in our contamination OCD getting triggered really badly because putting it on the floor will trigger that and I don't know what the fuck we're gonna do. we're also probably gonna have to sleep before we can fix this but idk if continuing to sit or lay on the bed is a bad idea for the time being and I think I also just fucked up our back by trying to lift the mattress
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#also like asking for someone else to lift the mattress up is gonna create a situation where our contamination OCD is gonna get triggered#and no matter what happens we're gonna end up using way more energy than we can afford to right now trying to fix this#I've already overexerted because I panicked and tried to lift up the mattress and wasn't paying attention to whether I got hurt#and now I can feel how much my back and shoulders and wrists hurt#and I've also already spent a decent portion of the night either dissociating or having random panic attacks#and this is not helping because I've had multiple panic attacks in a row over it#and the fact that I don't have a solution to the problem that won't cause a bunch of other problems#means my brain is not going to shut the fuck up#my whole back is spasming and I think I've dislocated a rib. fuck
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My cousin was trying to complain to me about how, when she dislocated her knee and told my sister about it, my sister tried to relate by telling our cousin how she went two weeks with her knee dislocating repeatedly once - and my cousin was mad solely because she didn't believe my sister and said "it's not possible to go that long with a dislocated joint" because from her singular experience it was too painful... And I was like girly I hate to break it to you but my sister has joint hypermobility which causes joints like her knees to dislocate or subluxate stupidly easy, and yes it absolutely is possible to go that long with it and I know this because I also have joint hypermobility and have gone an entire month with my shoulder dislocating repeatedly before. Like, news flash, people with disabilities get pretty fucking used to their chronic pain sometimes. I didn't even know my shoulder was out because my back pain is such a constant that the shoulder pain blended right in. Idk I guess my point here is, not believing someone's injury because their level of pain doesn't meet your standards is bullshit in general, but especially if you don't even know if that person is disabled in some way and therefore you base their wellbeing off of your own able bodied self. Shut up.
#disability#I've dislocated and subluxated my knees shoulders elbows wrists fingers toes and ankles man#Sometimes it's very obvious very painfully quickly (like my elbows and ankles) but other times it blends in w other pain#God the elbows are the worst. I can't use my arm the rest of the day even if I get it back in#I have had dislocating joints since I was THREE and I still REMEMBER my elbow dislocating at baby church and-#-having to be rushed to the doctor because I was screaming and crying and they had to put it back in place it hurt so fucking bad#Over the years I had to learn how to do it myself so now I usually can on my own#My shoulders also rotate pretty much constantly which sets my sternum out it place too it fucking sucks#Whatever#I was mad but couldn't take it out on her bc she's 14 and ignorant but I needed to rant#If your instinct is to go “I don't believe this person because what is visible of their level of pain isn't as high as I think it should be#Then you should shut up.
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okay so one thing i wanted this year was to handwrite more, just because i like the idea of having physical copies of my writing like that rather than tucked into a computer doc, and i specifically have a Lover Boy Notebook. the goal isn’t to commit to handwriting the draft (typically i play with writing a scene in my notes app or laptop, which i call freewriting, and use that to handwrite a more “official” draft of that scene) but just to have a physical, chronological (bc i am NOT a linear writer usually) capsule of the first full draft. the idea is also that the first full draft, rather than being the messy thing you get out of the way so you can polish it into something better, is something special because its messy and new and only just becoming sure of itself, and that’s the part of a story i want to specially preserve like this more than anything.
anyway longwinded explanation aside, I am actually finding it so fun. these are the main benefits i notice (which very much align with my writing process and goals, i know they won’t for others!):
breaks up my writing sessions in a way that my brain processes more easily (sometimes i struggle to know if I’m really “done” for the day which has led to both over and under writing but here it’s just like. okay my arm hurt now)
forces me to write slower because i can’t control my handwriting well and need to be slow to be aware of what i’m doing, whereas on the laptop i can touch type so sometimes i will be writing and just zone out (great for sprints and fast drafts, but neither of those align with my writing goals atm)
^ writing slower has made me feel more immersed in a moment as i write it, especially i think combined with actively writing the words instead of typing keys fast. i’ve found myself immersing deep into images and scenes only to step back and realise that was all just one paragraph. something about it feels more actively engaging than typing a story out, but again i touch type so it’s easy for me to detach from what i’m doing when i do that
OMG THE STORY LITERALLY FEELS ALIVE!!!!!! i can flick through it, i can hear the words against the paper and notebook as i write them, i can feel the words when i run my hand over a page. this is sensory seeking autism heaven for me
#also: this is something very hard for me#mainly because of fine motor skills#usually I cannot control my handwriting at all - sometimes it feels like I forget how to write for a moment#sometimes I struggle to even hold the pen#I think my hand and wrist hurts quicker than other people too and the more I write the harder it is#and whilst I want to be mindful of that there is something about trying to work with those struggles!!!#I don’t force anything but it just almost makes me feel more connected to what I’m doing in a way#it’s been very fulfilling
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becoming exclusively a traditional artist in the past 3-4 ish years is really fascinating because nowadays i see people do huge detailed polished digital pieces and im like damn how do they do that without dying on impact but then i remember my usual medium is watercolour and if you saw some of the shit i do to attempt to recreate digital techniques with it........... maybe im the insane one
#that is why i stopped doing digital art btw. it was too hard on my bones and head orz#no matter what i did i could never get my posture decent combined with the ability to zoom and undo was giving me like#this sort of perfectionism that did NOT mesh well with my dysgraphia LOL lot better for me to embrace my motor skills doing whatever#and traditional allows for that more <3 but i do get that a lot both irl and online - people getting shocked about me doing watercolour#straight up the reason i started was because i used to colour with pencil crayons but that hurt my wrists too much with how much i drew#and also took too long and watercolour was faster to cover a bigger area and you dont have to press hard#plus ive always been bad with colouring in the lines. oh thats another reason i stopped doing digital. i had trouble figuring out ways#to colour in messily so instead i always had to painstakingly fill in every stray uncoloured pixel. it was bad for me <3#but yeah watercolour allows for messiness so thats what i like it! fast and easy :)#but irl and even sometimes online i get people shocked that the thing i drew is watercolour and not digital. is it my good eyesight again#can i see things that other people cannot... my superpower is to see 😔😔😔😔😔😔#a long LONG time ago someone asked in the tags of a drawing i did how i do watercolour#someday i will show u guys. someday. too lazy to set up a camera LOL
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