#i dont really like this one that much :/ but!!! i think my idea was nice so whatever!
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We meet again | In-ho x Fem!Reader | PT1
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Summary: It was only one night for fun, you never thought you would see him again. Even less in a place like this one.
PT2
Warnings: S2 Spoilers - Canon violence - Pregnant!Reader - Non canon background for In-ho -
Na-eun -> Coworker - Use of (Y/N) - Angst - Suggestive -
Gif by: @el-cheung
The ocassions where In-ho could leave the island and get himself a drink with normal peopel in a normal bar were slim.
He liked to think of these as vacations of some sort. Even if it was in a lost town in the cost. He still avoided big cities.
The place was nice nothing fancy like he is used to. And that gave him a nostalgic feeling, made him feel like he was not that man, the one making sure the games went on. But another normal man enjoying a drink.
"Can I buy you a drink" A female voice broke his thoughts.
He took a look at his left side and felt his heart flutter, god did you look gorgeous, your hair kind of a mess but in a good way, not too revealing clothes, eyes to die for, that made him think you were piercing his soul, and your smile, it was like the sun.
He gave you a polite smile but refused, knowing it was better for both to not get involved.
Such a coward he was.
"Oh cmon handsome, just one drink and I will let you in peace" You insisted getting a funny look from the barman
"Dont scare my clients off (Y/N)" He called over his shoulder.
In-ho saw you pout at the barman, you were most likely from this town, a local. Someone with a boring life, maybe you worked with lifestock or had a small store. He could picture you having a flower shop.
"Sorry if I bothered you" You finally said feeling his lost of interest and going to take your own drink and get back to your friends who most likely would taunt you for getting rejected.
"Wait" In-ho said making you stop. He knew it was a bad idea but he could not help himself.
"What type of Man would let a girl pay? Let me buy you a drink" He finally said giving you a small smirk. "Im In-ho" He introduced himself when you took the seat besides him again.
"In-ho" You repeated, teasting his name in your tongue. It sent a shiver down his spine that he tried to ignore. "Well, im (Y/N) as you probably hear, pleasure to meet you, visting the town?"
In-ho signal for the barman bring two more drinks while he nodded at you. "You can say that..."
"And? Are you liking it so far?" You asked taking a sip from your drink keeping eye contact.
"The views are...quiet splendid" He responded not taking his eyes off from you.
~○~○~○~○~○~○
One drink made him feel more relaxed, he could talk without having to take his words under much consideration, the next one made his body feel hotter, specially when you would touch his arm or shoulder and laught at something he commented.
Most likely it was not that funny.
And drink after drink, it got you two closer, talking quietly like you two were exchanging deep secrets. Faces red, eyes open looking for something more.
"Do you wanna leave with me In-ho?" You asked in a whisper one hand on his chest.
Oh, he really wanted to. He wanted to end this night with you screaming his name over and over again. Maybe he would fuck you so good you would not even be able to forget about him.
"Aren't you too drunk?" He asked, always the gentlemen.
You just scoffed at him but did smile, feeling warm because of his worry, most men would jump at the offer.
But he was not like most men.
"Im fine, im sure about this. I want to leave this place with you"
In-ho payed for the drinks and left with you that night.
And just as he had planned he got you screaming his name till no end. Till you cried that it was too much but kept pulling him closer.
It was messy, it was long, sweat fell from your tangled bodies. It was as it you two were made for each other.
The next morning In-ho woke up first, he could not help but let out a soft smile, seeing your sleepy face, hair a mess, and the marks from last night.
He was temped for another round...
But his phone buzzed.
He groaned taking it already expecting problems.
"Sir..."
And just like that the dream ended. He had to leave you like that. Not a goodbye or a phone to call. You weren't his first night stand but you were the only one he felt bad leaving behind.
If he had time...he would have loved to take you to a proper date.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~
Part of you had hoped he would stay, at least to have breakfast with you. You had said you made the best in town.
But no, the bed was empy only his marks stood behind and the cum between your legs.
You tried to move on from it. Telling yourself it was good sex at the end. And that he would not even stay at the small town for much time.
Did it hurt ?
Like a knife passing your arm.
And things were going to get much, much worse.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
"Hey (Y/N) are you alright in there?" The voice of your worried coworker called from outside the bathroom stall.
You went to respond but feel another gag coming making you unable to.
"Im fine, just morning sickness" You finally said, breathing hard and sweating while getting out from the stall.
"Oh be honest, I have a sister you know? Who was pregnant recently" You coworker insisted getting close and gently giving your shoulder a squish. "You are not alone in this" She smiled gently.
You wanted to believe her, but the reality was not on your side.
Yes, everything is fine, you just have a baby whos father left after one night stand. The man never tried to contact you again or leave a fucking note. And you were so wasted you forgot the after day pill.
Fuck it all.
On top of that, you had to leave the small town after load sharks came looking for your brother who being an amazing brother left a debt, and since your parents were long dead and you were the only family left, the debt fell on you.
Which made you have to move from the small and calm town to Seoul, under the threats of the fuckers on making the town suffer if you did not pay.
Part of you believed they were too lazy to travel between the town and Seoul. But you did not want to put the place at risk so you left.
And now here you were, in a shit job in a hole that dared to call itself "bar", alone, with debt and barely doing any money for you. All went to pay the debt, part for the rent and other part to get the healthiest food you could get for you and your baby.
"Why dont you move in with me?" Your coworker suddendly asked, "We can divide the rent, you would get more money for you and the baby"
"Are you sure? I dont want to be a burden"
"Its fine, I would not offer it to you if I was not sure"
And you found yourself crying, over happines for the first time.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
In-ho had to get back to the Island for the next games. Things were moving in their place, getting players and new games. The classic "red light green light" needed to stay since it did clean off most players, the most weak ones in his opinion.
His mind would wonder to you. He had no idea why, after all you two did not know each other on a deep level. And yet he found himself repeating that night. Not only the sex, it was amazing, maybe the best he had in a long time. But also your confidence, how you had approach him first, then respectfully you tried to get away once he gave you a negative response at first.
He had a fair amount of insisting women and it made his skin crawl in disgust, but no. You were not like that.
And your eyes, and smile. In-ho thought he could let lost in these, he could stare at your eyes all day and night, watch you in the dark and just feel happy because he was with you.
Him, a respected and feared man, who had everything when it came to power. He found himself wanting you, by his side. Maybe he could get back to that town and look for you. Date you like a proper Man and maybe, just maybe you would return with him.
He knew he was being selfish, being with him would mean saying goodbye to a normal life. A quiet life you most likely had.
It was a inner battle, the wish to keep tabs on you, so he could properly approach you next time and have the upper hand. Also, there was a need to keep you safe. He was not sure why, he just felt it.
However, things were never that easy.
The phone from his office rang, he picked up with his mask on, his voice muffled by it.
"Sir, player 456 its causing problems outside"
In-ho let out a very long breath trying to collect his thoguhts.
"I will deal with him myself"
And like that, the ideas of going after you were pushed aside, he needed to fulfill his task as The Front Man first.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
You held the picture in your hands while you waited for the next train. Your baby, or well it was suppos to be your baby, you could not make much of the shapes but the Doctor had said it was healthy and that was enough for you.
"Hey little one" You whisper passing one finger over the photo not caring about the rest of the world right now.
But life seemed to like taunting you.
"Excusme Miss" A well dress Salesman talked to you his smile gentle yet kind ot intimidating. "Would you like to play a game with me?"
~○~○~○~○~○~○~
"What happened to you!!" The suprise scream from your coworker and now roomate filled your ears as you entered the small aparment.
"Nothing, dont worry about it" You tried to go pass her but she held you in place.
"Nothing? Your left cheeck its all red! Did someone attack you?"
"No, nothing like that. Please I dont really want to talk about it..."
Honestly you could not understand what had happen. You two played ddakji and you lost. In order to make up for it you got slapped. Lots of times you were about to leave but the Man would say something about money and motion to the photo you had. You were furious but kept playing till you won.
You got a card and a few wones, he said how he felt pity over you and to call the number on the card if you wanted to win more money.
The exchange was strange, bizarre, the only thing telling you it was real was the money you had in your pocket and the card.
"Put some ice on it" Na-eun told you going to get it herself. "Did you get the picture?" She screamed even if she was not that far away
"I did"
"Oh let me see!! I want to see my nephew!"
"Na-eun, i dont know the sex of the baby yet" You responded taking the ice and passing her the picture.
"Its a feeling, I can tell its going to be a boy"
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
Life was good for a few more weeks, as good as it could be in your current situation.
But saddly it did not last.
"What..."
"Im sorry (Y/N), my sister called me. She needs me at her home. I cant stay any longer in Seoul" She said between cries knowing you would have no one if she went away.
"Hey, dont cry. Its your sister, I understand" You said trying to reassure her that you would be alright but still...it was a hard pain to take.
"I will pay my part of the rent till next month but after that...she trailed off"
"Dont worry, I will find a way" You smiled at her trying not to worry.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
That same night you called the number on the card, knowing your life would just get harder and harder now that you were alone once more.
After saying your name and birth date you were told of a place to be on a specific day and time.
"Stay calm little one, we will be ok" You said caressing your growing belly. "Mom will take care of everything"
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
The next thing you knew you woke up in what seemed to be a big room with multiple beds. It was cold, your old clothes were replaced by what resembled a sports suit. The number "344" adorned your chest.
The peopel around you seemed as confused and lost as you were. Fear started to creep inside you, maybe you screw up? Maybe this was human traffic? What would happen to you? And your baby?
You saw another female player who seemed just as lost as you and...wait it could not be.
Was she also pregnant?
Thinking you had nothing to lose you went near her. Not too sure what to say at first.
"Hello, you dont happen to know whats going on?" You asked knowing the answer but looking to make small chat.
She looked back at you then at your lower belly, the confliction in her eyes was clear as day.
"No I dont, how..how long are you due?" She asked nervously but also feeling better that there was someone else in the same situation as her.
You smiled, "A few more months, you?" She responded making your smile bigger. "Looks like we are in the same boat, player 222" You said seeing her number "Want to, stick together till we know whats happening?"
And like that, you made your first friend inside the games.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
After the long introduction the pink guards gave to all of you, they guided the group around a maze of colorfull stairs, you looked over player 222 making sure she was alright, you had to make small stops yourself. Behind you stood a player, 456 who seemed to notice your state and did not mention a thing, if nothing his face seemed to pale at it.
The guards finally left all of you in a big area, up front was a doll and a white line. Your mind went to think on the words from the guards, this was a kids game, it should be easy right?
"Hey 222, stick with me" You called a bit worried over her and you. If this game included running then it would be a challenge for you and her.
But you could do it, you had to do it.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
The splash of blood on your face made you want to vomit, move and run away. But the screams from player 456 stopped you. Reminding you that if the doll dectected movement then you would be shot.
"It cant see on your blind stops" He screamed moving his hand behind his back to show all of you. "Make a line, short ones behind tall ones, we will move together"
You gulped but did as he said getting behind a player with the number 390, who also noticed your state and looked worried.
"Im fine" You assured him stopping when the doll also stopped singing.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
Like any other year In-ho stood in his room seeing the first game, a glass of whisky being his only company.
He could not see the faces of all players, too focus in Gi-hun and his attempt to save everybody. However, years of being a detective and watching this game made him have a critical eye, he saw two, two pregnant woman in the game, struggling but not giving up. He felt a tug in his heart, he knew this was to make games more interesting, to have players of all ages and circumstances, but even him, someone who was once part of them could not shake the uncomfortable feeling.
"It cant be" He whispered seeing you move, something from you called him, like he knew you. But that could not be right? You were in that town, safe, living your life.
How wrong he was.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~
Once the game was over the need to vomit returned stronger, you held it back not wanting to bring attention over you.
Both player 456 (who he presented as Seong Gi-hun, and player 390 (who said his name was Jung-Bae) went to you. Asking if you were alright or needed anything, even if Gi-hun knew he could not get you a single thing.
"Im ok, I will survive, Thanks for your directions during the game Seong" You thanked the Man who nodded
"You can call me Gi-hun"
"344!!, 344!!" The screams of 222 filled your ears, you turned to see her and hugged her.
"Oh I was so worried over you, over both of you" You added quietly
"I lost you in the crowd...You are fine?"
You made a face, honestly the situation was far from fine but you needed to be strong.
"I will make it, will you tell me your name now?"
"Its Jun-hee" she responded in a low tone.
"(Y/N)" You pointed at yourself then at your belly "Little one"
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
Voting. You could vote to be out and walk with some money. In all honestly it did not cover your debt at all. But you prefer walking out alive, able to raise your baby than getting both dead.
"I will help all of you" The voice of Gi-hun cut off your thoughts, a small circle with him, his friend and Jun-hee was formed "Just help me to stop these games, peopel will keep dying if not"
"Im in" You said to him who nodded back.
The voting was thight, you had to held onto Jun-hee arm to not fall because of how nervous you were. Jung-Bae tried to calm both of you, saying most likely the Xs would win.
But it was a tie, a tie and only one player. Player 001 was going to break off. You did not see his face only his back, he took a moment to decide.
He pressed circle, the games will continue. And when he turned around you felt your soul leave your body.
It was him, In-ho the man who you had one night stand and left you pregnant with no way of contacting him.
The same man who's final vote would force you to continue playing.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
The dinner was....bad. That was the only word for it. You forced yourself to eat thinking in your baby, Jung-Bae was kind enough to give you his milk, you decided to divide it with Jun-hee who was also gratefull.
When circle players came, asking Gi-hun about next game you wanted to pull their eyes out. They were using him, like a secret card to win. But Gi-hun seemed unbothered, he said what the next game was and even told them that he would share it with everybody.
Some walked away angry, and giving Jun-hee and you some nasty looks, guess no one wanted two pregnant woman around.
"Ignore them" Dae-ho another player who had voted X and kind of formed a small friendship with Jung-Bae said to Jun-hee and You.
"Can we talk?" The voice of player 001 came as a suprise to all of you, but the suprise was bigger when they noticed he was talking directly to you.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
Both of you walked away from the group needing privacy from them.
"What are you doing here?" In-ho asked taking your arms. The last person he would bet being here was you. You looked fine when he last saw you, not like a person who would be in debt. Besides you were from a small town, the organization moved between big cities.
Just...what had happen?
"Hello (Y/N) How are you doing? Or did you also forget my name too?" You responded too angry, confused and stressed.
He pressed his lips in a thin line to calm himself down. No, he could never forget your name. You filled his dreams every night, he did promise to himself he would go back to you once this games were over.
He never expected or wished that you would came to him, to this place.
"You cant be here" It was more like to negate himslef the fact that you were indeed here. "Its too dangerous for you and your baby" The last was said so softly it almost made you feel bad.
Almost.
"Well, thank you for making all of us play another round" You responded going to get away from him but he held you in place.
"I was not the only one who voted to stay"
"No, you were not" you did give him the reason "But your vote was the one that broke the tie. Sorry if I feel inclined to be angry at you.
In-ho gulped, no you were right to be angry, specially since you were not only fighting for your life but the baby in your belly.
"The baby..." He trailed off, the question clear but he found himself scared to say it out loud.
You took a long deep breath, you had imagined finding him and telling him about the baby, you never pictured it would be like this. But luck was never on your side.
"Yes, its yours. I wanted to tell you, but you ran away and left me no way of contacting you" A small pause to get your words together "Listen, I wont ask anything from you, we had a good time and thats it"
No. No he could not ignore it. First, you plagued his nights and days, making him feel like he was young again and having his first crush. Then you appear here, pregnant with his baby no less.
How could he ignore it? When a family with you was one of the many dreams he had. Even if it was like he was going too quick, thinking too fast when you two only shared a night.
"No, listen. Im sorry for leaving like that, I dont expect you to forgive me or understand me" He could not tell you why he had left, why he never contacted you. "But I promise I will take care of both of you. No harm will be done to you or to our baby"
Hearing him say "our baby" made you want to cry but you did not know he was able to protect you, to you he was just another player.
"Dont make promises you cant keep. And dont worry I have managed fine this last months" You said leaving him behind and returning to the group that were not so casually looking at the exchange.
Once you made it back you went directly to your bed, needing to rest just for a bit.
"Who was he?" Jun-hee asked softly
"No one, he is no one"
Jun-hee had a feeling about who he was but decided to be silent out of respect.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
In-ho saw you go, his hand moving to fists by his side. He wanted nothing but to have you moved out from the games. Maybe you could stay in his room till all ended. You would be well taken care of, would make sure the most trusted Doctor of the island checked on you and his baby.
A baby, a life. Something he had made on accident but did not mean he did not want it. No, he did. He could see you, him and the baby, the three of you living together, he would teach his kid so much and love you till death.
Was he becoming obsess? Maybe.
Did he care? No.
He would do whateve he could to keep you and his kid safe.
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ash-and-starlight · 21 hours ago
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Hello, I saw you say in your 2024 short book review that Iron Widow sucked? May I ask your reasons? I've had this book in my hands multiple times and thought of buying but never did, and by what you said, and accounting for us seemingly having similar tastes, I think you might give me a good idea about what to expect from the book and whether I'd like it?
So yes just. Your thoughts on Iron Widow and why it sucked would be awesome if you could find time for it
Have a nice day!
udhghh ok honestly the reasons are so many and i cant even string them together correctly so i really just recommend going on the goodreads page and reading the one star reviews bc they all illustrate point for point why i think it sucked so much. like ok reason one is that its simply not well written. like its marvel level jokey "oh he's right behind me isn't he" kinda writing. Reason 2 is that the plot is just all over the place nonsensical, there are in-universe things that you're just supposed to accept at face value but just make zero sense once u think about them for longer than 5 seconds. It professes itself to be a girlboss feminist narrative and its the furthest thing from feminist u could ever find. wu zetian sees herself (and is framed by the narrative) as the only hashtag woke hashtag empowered woman that exists and goes on thinking every other girl she meets is a dumb whore. this never gets disproved. she never changes her mind. (which is not WRONG per se but at least dont market it as a #feminist book just for clout). Also like. i was expecting for the heroine's story to bear some resemblance to the hystorical wu zetian's story and uhh idk if this changes later on but so far their stories dont rlly have a thing in common. AND i like the author a lot i think they're super knowledgeable & must've done a ton of research for this so why,,, did they decide to basically discard all of it,, and also it should've gone through a few more drafts,,, one beta reader at least- anyway the things that i DID like were the qi based mecha system. that was conceptually rlly cool and i always love a mecha situation. and the fact that the love triangle got resolved in an ot3 (..... not that i liked any of the characters enough to care...)
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threepoint14art · 2 months ago
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Day 7: Flowers/Flower Language
Funeral flowers
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narsh-poptarts · 5 months ago
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NARSH YOU LU ART IS SO TASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have copies saved on my computer to look at and use as inspo and AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! THEY ARE ALL SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!
YOU!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaa I LOVE THAT IM SO FLATTERED!!!!!!!! man I was out all day today and did not have service for most of it so then coming home and seeing all the love in the tags was a WONDERFUL surprise aaawwww thanks!!!!!!!!! Saved on your computer,,,, used as inspo,,,,,,, I'll sob and cry forever (LOVINGLY!!!) QuQ
I've been really kind of wanting to go back and redraw an lu thing or two because I have definitely grown SO MUCH as an artist since I made all those (like 4 years ago for some of them!!! CRAZY)
All y'all liking and sharing my stuff is a lot of fun, I see my notifications just tick up and up as one person just goes through liking my entire tag hahahah it's so fun I love it!!!! (Genuinely!!)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months ago
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...
#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper#thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times#like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she#was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled#a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where#you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what#then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have#and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my#leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but#i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying#my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound#by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting#better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that#and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do#what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated
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p2iimon · 8 months ago
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drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me
#sammy is a brown bear (like freddy). his mom is white like funtime freddy#then crying child is blue (like bon bon. and to go with lizzies bonnet pink) (theyre not twins in my au but they definitely act like it. so#its like cute.) mrs. afton is blue violet (rockstar bonnie) bc i was running out of colors. i had already assigned her blue anyway.#max is black bc i seriously ran out of rabbit colors. or! no wait shadow bonnie. thats totally the inspo and not i had made his ears black#already. i think thats literally every rabbit color available. the afton family is pretty big. ig vanny. who would go with vanessa. obvi bu#shes not in my au. or at least not an afton. and therefore not a rabbit. if she was though shed be white.#and if you havent seen any previously drawn ones henry and william are yellow (obviously. they already have fursonas. theyre the reason#everyone else gets one. LOL) micheals purple like classic bonnie (who... is purple even if it was then retconned. hes purple. look at#withered bonnie. i hate ppl who say its just lighting. thats a lie by big blue bonnie. he was literally purple and then he changed his mind#like i said lizzie is pink like bonnet. and then charlie is black like lefty. because duhh.#DONT ask me about how this shit works okay. the rabbit dated the rabbit and the bear dated the bear. bc thats what happened. theres not#here. the bears got divorced. and the rabbits. the yellow rabbit and bear are fucking#no um. i like willry but i think if they were really fucking. i just think things would go differently. henry's gay in my au i dont think i#he actually had a man to fuck he'd manage to have children. its not who he is to me. will is bi but he obv thinks henry is some exception t#him being perfectly normal and straight. everyone wants to fuck their business partner. otherwise youd do it yourself#ig they can fuck after. i hate when people do these boring aus where henry and william never get married and william isnt a murderer and so#like what? theres nothing? just a couple of guys? if im looking for fics where theyre fucking im not looking for a fic where everything is#nice and clean. be serious. can we at least have some angst about it being the 70s or are you too much of a bitch for that too#anyway.....#simons spouting#simons fnaf au#OH also if anyone reads this whats the stance on this stupid idea i have where sammy pretends he has a thing for michael to annoy max. bc.#their parents had a thing for eachother. and sammy and max have a more familial relationship. and michael and charlie have a familial#relationship. but michael and sammy have barely met and do not at all. is it pushing it? i was thinking yknow from sammys perspective that'#'his sons' dad but! like you can fuck your sons dad. that's not weird. unless thats the way youre phrasing it i guess LOL. but i guess#michael would be like. thats 'my sisters' brother. and that is not someone you fuck*. BUT this isnt michaels perspective its sammy being#annoying. and from sammys perspective that is NOT his sister and there for NOT his sisters brother. *also im pretty sure this is subjective#if youre just friends. yknow. the ethics of sammy using this to bother max is not on the table because i think he deserves to be a#a bit of an ass. anyway LMAOO fkdglfg. let me know if youd like ive got anon asks on. please dont judge me for not knowing this.
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oflgtfol · 1 year ago
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“But no one actually ‘looks’ through [modern telescopes]. Margaret Huggins lamented the shift from gazing at the heavens to squinting at tiny patches of light. Now we’ve gone much, much further. In today’s astronomy, photons of light from the sky, along with the celestial secrets they contain, are picked up by electronic detectors, converted into digital data and crunched through impossibly complex equations by some of the most powerful computers on the planet. In 2016, bricklayer-turned-astronomer Gary Fildes described visiting Chile’s Very Large Telescope (VLT) in his best-selling book An Astronomer’s Tale. Incorporating four mirrors, each 27 feet wide, the VLT collects visible and infrared radiation and can distinguish points in the sky separated by less than a millionth of a degree. Here, at the forefront of today’s attempts to understand the stars, Fildes was struck by the sight of scientists hard at work in control rooms, eyes glued not to their telescopes but to banks of screens: ‘They didn’t look as if they had seen the real sky for days.’”
- The Human Cosmos: Civilization and the Stars by Jo Marchant
#brot posts#astro posting#GOD this puts to words something i really felt#as someone who fell in love with the idea of astronomy as this awe-filled wonder of the vast universe#and then going to college and sitting in a fucking dark classroom at the brink of dawn fucking 8am and doing nothing but MATH !!!!#like - theres no judgment here#very very obviously we need these technologies and math techniques to truly understand astronomy#but like the whole thesis to this book (so far? im thinking) is that like#in doing so - you lose something fundamental#astronomy is one of if not theee oldest sciences known to humanity#but the way it was practiced for millennia upon millennia of human history is so incredibly different from how we practice it now#i got a whole ass Bachelors of Science in Astronomy and never once was i required to actually look at the night sky .#and i dont think this same phenomenon exists in other fields of science#like as time goes on we ofc learn more and theres a certain level of abstraction as you get more separated from the immediate knowledge#afforded by your immediate senses#but the level of abstraction for astronomy is just. not really seen as much or as bad in other fields? imo?#anyway i remember a while ago saying that as i got further through my degree the less magical space felt to me#compared to when i was younger and knew nothing at all#and i said yeah its nice to /know/ things now but i still miss that magic when everything was new exciting and real#but you lose something. that magic. that soul. when your astronomg experience is not actually stargazing#but instead sitting in a room doing math on paper or doing nothing but staring at a computer screen
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lizclipse · 10 months ago
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i just watched this video on iPhone vs android, and one of the questions that really got to me was 'if i was to switch, much would it ruin your life a little bit', and honestly, yeah, switching from apple to another ecosystem would just be a fucking nightmare
like the thing is, im someone who really enjoys the 'apple ecosystem'. yea big corpo bad etc etc but i just really enjoy using apple stuff, and how well it all fits together bring me joy in my day-to-day. hell, being able to copy something on my phone and paste on my laptop is so bloody useful, and that's just the tip of how well inter-connected it all is. i love using all of it - even how they make uis is something i like (i know people can hate it, but for me macOS is my favourite os ever)
if i had to switch, it'd cost me so, so, so much money, at least to do so entirely, and i could never, ever, do this again. as much as i enjoy this whole ecosystem stuff, i will never in my life lock myself down like this again, even to some goody-two-shoes that promises to make everything open-source or smth. because, despite everything, i do get the little gnawing at the back of my mind that lets me know just how screwed id be if apple dropped off the face of the earth tomorrow. id do whatever it took to never have it happen again
this is just a random ramble tbh. don't be like me, use linux
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gibbearish · 10 months ago
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i will say arguments online did get a lot easier once i started learning to just directly say when people are misinterpreting things, to the point i hesitate to even call most of them arguments anymore? like it's easy to get caught up in responding to the other person as if their interpretation of what you said was correct because you do still disagree with their conclusion based on that, but like once you point out that there was a misinterpretation involved it becomes a lot easier for people to then follow that to "maybe the fact you had to misinterpret me to make those arguments says something about them too"
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pyrriax · 1 year ago
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peace and love on planet earth.
this fic is. going places.
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ozymoron · 8 months ago
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whys it always "wow youre so talented you should make that your career!" and never" wow youre so talented can i suck you er dick?"
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arielluva · 1 year ago
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drawing my time traveler character bc she was the only good thing to come out of my concept art/3d modeling class (i learned nothing about character design or 3d modeling and this character was the only assignment actually about character design that we did (i did my senior project on character design and learned way more about it than a whole semester long class that was supposed to teach me it))
im also going insane trying to track down the shoes i used for inspiration for hers but alas i cant find them
#my art#original character#oc#uh she still doesn't have a name but eh#also i really wish i couldve kept the original photoshop file of her but when i tried to move it into my google drive it wouldnt let me :(#mustve been something with the school network or something but still#god even though ive graduated already and dont have to deal with that class anymore i still wish i never took it#the teacher did not teach very well and that class was soul sucking to be in (it also didnt help that we had block schedule so it was a#2 hour class)#giving us old pdfs on learning maya from 2011.... making us copy some other guys drawing but not really in a way to learn from him or his#character design...#dumping her family issues on literally everyone who came into the class (i had to listen to this all the time bc i sat at the front)#i mean at least the teacher liked me i guess but that didnt help the class like. at all.#digital drawing for concept art / 3d modeling my beloathed#anyways for this assignment specifically (the time traveler)#she gave us a book to look at with. character design stuff? i think? and the page we were looking at had some time travel agent woman#concept art on it#that design was really dumb looking imo but it was also probably pretty early concept art for a game so i dont blame it much#it was some generic hot woman with long platinum blonde hair (described as strange despite it not being strange at all)#and wearing a suit that conveniently showed cleavage and had a thigh slit on her skirt#she was holding some old ass briefcase and one of those plastic umbrellas with polka dots on it (the umbrella was her time travel device or#whatever)#the teacher told us we had to make a time traveler so i set out to yassify and transify this design a bit#i think the only sort of character design tip we learned during this whole like. month we worked on this for was to make a moodboard of#our ideas#but eh i still really like the design i made and i was able to get nice and creative with ut#just wish i was able to save it on my own computer and not the school computer :(#2023#oc tag
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b1gwings · 1 year ago
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i’m so into dndads rn i might make a separate blog just so i can RB everything i see
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 years ago
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I kind of want to do a temperature blanket, but I don't care about the temperature, so I'm trying to think of something along the same format that's not as boring as temperature. I'm thinking maybe moon phases? I considered sunrise and sunset time, but it would require a lot of yarn and I'm not sure exactly how I would format it. Any ideas?
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phagodyke · 2 months ago
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#told my roommate ive been depressed this weekend and she kindly offered to watch a movie but i knew shed be too tired and need to cancel#bc of the clocks changing and its ok i know how tired she gets i was the one to suggest it was okay if she cant + it was still a nice idea#but now im alone for the evening again ive been alone all weekend and weekends are the hardest for me and i thought i was feeling a little#better but im not and theres nothing to stop me from harming which is okay i keep it safe and its always a choice i make to do it or not#not anyone elses responsibility but i didnt want.to be alone tonight thats all. and offering something she knows she cant fulfil makes me#feel rejected too and i also wanted to talk abt some of her behaviour that upsets me sometimes but gently bc i dont want it to seem like#im blaming her bc its not her fault im so bad at communicating and neurotic and weird abt shit that doesnt even make sense#but its been bothering me for a really long time and it comes up again every time we meet with other people and i get really upset over it#and im the one that keeps putting off talking about it but its so hard when its been gping on so long and i find it so hard to express#anything and communicate especiallt when its shit like this but im so so so so tired of sitting on it i just want it resolved one way or#another and now i wont see her for a few days bc of this family trip and itll be on my mind the whole time and the thought is making me#feel insane already ive wasted so many hours and hours being upset by her and not being able to talk abt it i need it to stop its not even#that big a deal.it just is to me. and i dont know how to say anythign ever#and she wants to make plans with friends next weekend which feels like hoisting an anvil above my head bc if i dont go i risk having a#rejection sensitive episode bc im vulnerable rn and this is exactly what happened over the summer and it took me months to recover from but#if i do go ill get upset bc ill feel unwanted there and ill be dealing with the same issue that comes up every fucking time and either way#ill end up harming in response to it bc i cant handle how intense my emotions are and i dont have any better outlets right now#for these specific feelings and i dont want to do that i want to be a normal fucking human being who doesnt lock themself in a#stupid fucking iron maiden style repression over completely innocuous shit that no one would even know im reacting this way to#i cant do it i cant do thjs anymore i cant i want it to stop im so tired and it hurts so so much feeling so much like this#they should make a mind for me that is capable of not inflicting distress this intense on itself i need to explode#actually. maybe since i wont see her for a couple days i can write a long discord message about it instead. i know its a shitty way to#deliver information but maybe it would be easier that way rather than trying to summon the courage to say anything in person when im#usually actively upset abt it at the time and my immediate response to getting upset is to shut down and not express which doesnt help#and its so stupid but i need it to not be like this i cant keep living with her and getting so upset so regularly it has to stop now#ill think about itand maybe draft it. and then i can decide. but right now i need to eat. and pack. and then cut sorry. but its ok#ughhhhfdhf. please let this week be better ill try harder ill say something i have to im the one inflicting this on myself by not talking#about it!!!!!!!!! so. man and i think my dinner is cold now too. oh well#.vent#tw self harm
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playingonedchess · 4 months ago
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[redacted] most stupid city why even bother
#(the closest city to my parents house where i grew up im here on the holidays)#not that i go into the city much its rubbish and not worth the bus fare#so i usually only go if my parents drive me#and like everyone in the rest of the countrys always like its such a great city isnt it so nice you live nearby and used to study there#like apart from who wants to study in their local city if they can at all avoid it thats why i changed#but its actually rubbishly laid out and ugly and boring and stupid and pointless#the next closest small city which has a lot worse reputation is actually a bit nicer in my opinion#not that i particularly like that one either and some parts are really rubbish but i really think its not so bad#and like most of the students when i studied there (the closer one) also werent completely obsessed as well as like most normal people#but you even get some locals that are like its so brilliant#no it isnt its a tourist rubbish pit#anyway their latest drama is just stupid ridiculous#like i keep seeing it on facebook#like theres no point in even censoring where im from is there might as well just put the actual town cause anyone who knows me would#recognise this commentary anyway and could probably guess it was me if they were for some reason on here and reading these posts#which theres absolutely no reason they would be so why would i bother#but still the idea of putting my local city is a bit weird even though i dont care about strangers at all#at least at a rough glance no one would identify me and no ones going to read my blog closely anyway#so it doesnt matter that my attempts at privacy are completely pointless#i mean doesnt everyone hate their local city anyway i didnt specify enough that itd come to mind where im talking about
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