#im still scared of life
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lefaystrent · 1 year ago
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"I want to tell you something."
Thomas speaks the words into the quiet of the kitchen. He stares down at the pot of water sitting on the stove. The burner has been lit, and the heat rises. Soon, the water will boil.
"And it's- it's something that I've thought for a long time now. Years. But I've never said anything."
The smallest of bubbles rise to the surface. Over his shoulder, Thomas can see Patton sitting at the bar.
"It's okay. Take your time," he says. His nose scrunches up as he smiles. His glasses reflect a scattering of kitchen light.
Thomas snorts. "I think years is enough time." He breaks a bundle of pasta in half, letting them fall gently into the steaming water. He adjusts the temperature, then shifts on his feet. "I've just...never said anything," he repeats.
"You don't have to say anything at all." Janus sits at the bar instead. He wears a frown, and he's leaned over the surface with his chin in a propped palm, but the patience in his gaze belays his bored demeanor. "If you don't want to, you don't have to. I certainly won't force you."
Want to? No.
Thomas shakes his head and stirs the pot. "I think I need to."
"Do you?" Logan sits at the bar. His arms are folded over his tie, but it's not an intimidating pose. It's careful. Considerate. "I'd like you to take a moment to 'check yourself before you wreck yourself', as they say. Is that how you use that phrase?"
Thomas rolls his eyes, and yet he's smiling. This is a heavy topic, but it's not constricting. He stirs the noodles easily and they begin to fold together like they were made to. "I'm okay. I don't need to think about it more. I'm not anxious, not really."
"Yeah?" And now it's Virgil sitting at the bar. He stops as if he had been caught in the middle of playing with the string of his hoodie. Then he smooths down the front of his clothes. No ruffles here. He nods. "Good. That's good. That's good, right?"
Thomas still smiles. "Yes, that's good." The pasta softens as it swirls around the water. Round and round it goes. When will it stop? Nobody knows.
"Well don't just keep me in suspense!" Remus slams his hand down on the bar. And then he does it again and again, maybe just to hear the smack, smack, smack. He's not grinning maniacally or anything. Just a quirk of his mustache. A glint in his eyes. A cocked brow. "You know I love a good tease... but this is playing too coy!"
Thomas heaves a huge sigh. "I guess I just..." He trails off. He knocks the spoon against the pot's rim to shake off the water. He sets it aside. "I just don't want this to change anything."
The warmth of the burner blankets his face. The stove vent thrums above his head, and distantly Thomas hears the air conditioner click on. A light sheen of perspiration beads across his face, but its not wholly unpleasant.
Would it be bad? If this did change anything?
Roman sits at the bar. His shoulders are low, like all the breath has left him. He watches Thomas calmly with sad eyes. "What have you got to lose?"
In the pot, the pasta swirls and swirls until it's ready.
"I love you," Thomas finally says, and he turns to look over his shoulder to find that it's himself who sits there.
The other him beams proudly. "That wasn't so hard, now was it?"
Satisfied, Thomas flicks off the stove burner and drains the water in the sink. He stirs together noodles, hamburger meat, and red sauce, until its in perfect measures, just the way he likes it.
After making himself a plate, Thomas sits at the dining table. He is alone with himself, and he's alright with that.
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deathricedrawn · 10 months ago
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i'm ready to try
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helianthus21 · 11 days ago
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love Daniel during the vampire apocalypse. Akasha shows up at the vampire dinner table burning vampires left and right and he's like wow! I'm a part of this!! I can sit at the big adult vampire table! I am here with my maker and we will be together forever and ever!!
wonder if he’d been the same if he hadn’t been high on vampire birthday endorphins
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flame-cat · 7 months ago
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i love ford getting mad @ stan & accidentally triggering a flashback/bad memory recollection & that startling him enough for him to stop being angry
major wake up call. i love that man getting humbled
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hmmmm yes i love it i'll take 20
bonus thing that happens Later
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popppyfur · 6 months ago
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sometimes when i like characters thisssss much i like drawing unnecessarily complicated comics of them having a normal ass conversation
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skunkes · 10 months ago
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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artuurle · 4 months ago
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I don't have a silly cheeky comment for this one besides it leans heavily on my headcanons and stuff on Grujaja. (that's how you know ur in the tranches for a character.)
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^face of a guy that keeps hurtin his bonds w anyone close to him. Bonus doodles i made while drawing this that are semi related due to being tied to my Gr headcanons unda the cut lol:
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mcr0wave · 3 months ago
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fem all might jumpscare 💥💥
ermmm haha posting mha now?!?!?? there is something about this soggy man that makes me lose it I H8 HIM (no i dont he is my little 7'3 sunflower ❤️🌻)
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denkilightning · 15 days ago
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[NINJAGO LEAKS DR S3P2, talking about jay/rogue]
jay rogue walker is better than me because if i lost my entire identity and memory and didnt even know if my name was actually real and got for years manipulated and lied to and the people who got me kicked out and kept switching back and forth from being seemingly nice to hating me for every little thing then commissioned me a job, then wanted me to risk my literal soul which is fucked up already from the other guy to save people we werent there for just to not save anyone but the targets anyway, and then go do that again??? and then they get mad at me for not wanting to risk my life for something i never wanted to be a part of?????? yeah id murder them all honestly
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mychemicalraymance · 12 days ago
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"Omg how do you run in public i'm too embarrassed" 2 sports bras + accepting that my body bounces when i run + making eye contact with people who stare at me and embarrassing them back + overcoming the part of me that dictates my life based on how I look instead of what I want to do. Take my hand ✋️ and do it fat.
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once-in-a-half-life · 6 months ago
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"so what did you do this summer?"
i. uh. I recreated the ending cutscene of half life alyx as a visual novel in ren'py ....
it was a really cool project through! I learned a lot and am really proud of the result! I even made the G-Man sprites in S2FM (by playing his in-game animations frame by frame and rendering some stills I liked haha)
here's some screeshots!
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just-another-colin-kinnie · 5 months ago
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Christmas taking me tf out rn ok
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javierduffy · 5 months ago
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sketchbook sillies
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jackass-jones · 10 months ago
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Thinking of vlr Akane is so conflicting cuz on one hand I’m so upset that she doesn’t ever get a moment to just rest and enjoy being alive again I’m upset that she just gets deeper and deeper into this role she’s built for herself and she loses her humanity and will never ever be that girl who died in the incinerator. But on the other hand, I need her to get so, so much worse I need her to be so obsessed with perfection she has this unique ability to change the course of history and she will burn everything and everyone to the ground in the blink of an eye if it means she can "reset" and get a perfect timeline and I desperately need her to never be satisfied with anything because really, is there anything that’s worth all the damage she’s caused?
#zero escape#akane kurashiki#virtues last reward#yeahhhhh just having so many thoughts about akane and sigma and junpei and yeah im screaming eyes bloodshot#i want akane to just like post 999 just do silly shit with aoi get a cat be a gamer try to heal the best she can#and i want her to be so evil i think theres still some crimes she hasnt committed yet she should do those#i really really really want her and junpei to just beat the shit out of each other in a boxing ring. specifically post vlr#need them being old as shit throwing chairs everyone is cheering#and damn like vlr akane just cant agree with junpei on his philosophy that a life with pain is still a life worth living cuz then thatd mean#everything she did in 999 was all for naught like to accept even the bad timelines where she died as valuable...#thats a kick to the dick especially when she fought so hard to live and how her death was so unfair#except she was just a scared kid with no choice then. now whats her excuse#i just want it to be possible you know? possible that akane didnt need to do this and she couldve been happy#cuz yeah the trauma would be horrible but surely itd be better than the trauma she has now since she took that dive#i wonder if she knows that no matter what she does she’ll never erase her trauma and eventually she will have to face it#or if she actually believes she can figure it all out and win the perfect timeline and magical mental stability will happen#basically akane is avoiding therapy soooooo hard but then again who would even be her therapist#no one can possibly understand her...right?
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moeblob · 2 months ago
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Because his inner monologues really are just. So long. And I think it's important to show how much this guy thinks in order to say "not quite".
#my characters#also it is worth pointing out that piero does just make fire ! like a superpower!#and the time he set his ex on fire was ACTUALLY before they dated and it was because she was hired to kill him#but she used her cult like popularity to surround him and he got really scared bc he doesnt really wanna die#so he just meant to send a warning flare type thing ? but it was much more extreme than intended#and she got burnt while one of the followers died#and she then was like well now i dont want him dead cause HE CAN BE OF SO MUCH USE and then#manipulated him and lied and betrayed him and started to date him but without meaning it#so he was naive and thought maybe someone finally didnt hate him for his powers and then oops!#shes just using him and so he leaves one day and the entire cult holds it against him for making life harder for her#and also she has some power over time in the sense she can halt time and walk by people unnoticed#then release time and no one notices#except she does it so much to piero that he slowly builds a tolerance to it and thats actually when he overhears her#commenting on how useful he is but how annoying he is and how much she has to put up with him#and unfortunately for piero shes also the only person he can think of that might be able to do something#about langdon and getting him back home cause hes from earth#and they are very much not on earth#but its not completely an isekai type plot in the sense that langdon didnt die and get reincarnated#he just simply popped up in another dimension#that part of the plot hasnt actually been decided on the hows#but the ex gf and cult leader does help langdon get back home !#hi i love my ocs a lot im sorry that even with the fact i love them i cant sit still#on which ocs i will draw for#im still constantly thinking about the death dimension group and also oifil and also like 10 other plots#but still yeah ok so him acknowledging he doesnt like being lied to is due to the ex he needs to get to help them which is why#he thinks about it very clearly - hes about to go try to request help from someone who spent YEARS lying to him
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andrewminyardslawyer · 3 months ago
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Thinking about The Golden Raven has me feeling like a prey animal
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