#im sorry youre mad for people existing??
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honest to god im so tired. no matter what your criticisms are of a system online, you should not accuse them of ableist things or demonize their disorder. Or just diagnose people with disorders on the internet.
I have always hated this dumb bitch ass youtuber, and I like DissociaDID, sure they've got into drama and given misinformation the past, but they also went through a lot of severe harassment and hatred that they did not deserve. And this STUPID person is STILL making videos online and they're so unequivocally false that its not even funny.
Like, DissociaDID has LITERALLY SAID MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!! MULTIPLE TIMES, that do NOT let their littles on their channel, and if it does happen, it's rare. Its really depressing that this dumbass mf makes up lies and distorts the truth about a very popular system in the internet sphere.
Back to the pathological liar thing, ANYONE who uses the term "narcissistic" to mean "bad person" is just an ableist. So, if you see an online denouncing of a popular creator, and they call them a sociopath, a psychopath, a narcissist, etc. thats just a sure fire way to know that they do not know what they are talking about and have taken it into bad faith.
I'm just honestly violently disgusted about this sort of behavior, and it sucks, because I found out that I was a system because of DissociaDID, and the fact that people assume that they're faking because of whatever the fuck is cruel and horrible.
I've been afraid to talk about this because I remember the drama surrounding DissociaDID, but I have never thought that they were lying. You shouldn't ever fakeclaim people on the internet, you don't know their story, you don't know what their life is like, you don't know what they went through.
Horrible ableists like Michelle Mana and other ableist drama youtubers don't deserve to have a platform. Don't support these people, don't watch their videos, don't actively seek them out or comment. It's not worth it.
I just want to bring attention to this specifically, because this horrible person is still making videos on this stuff, and it shows that these ableists do not see people with DID as people. They do not see mentally ill people as people. They do not see those with stigmatized disorders, such as personality disorders, as people. Because otherwise, they would not fakeclaim or see NPD as the worst thing.
No matter what big systems have done, it doesn't mean they deserve to be harassed or attacked on the internet. I don't want to see this shit when I search up a youtuber or creator that I like. I know it's lies, because if it was anything substantial, it would be addressed. But it's the same old shit again.
Fuck ableist content creators, we don't need this sort of blatant bigotry. Don't support this shit, no matter your criticisms of those involved.
#post.txt#tw ableism#tw fakeclaiming#dissociadid#like... i dont know how to tell ableists that this aint their business#im sorry youre mad for people existing??#you should not dissect people's symptoms for clout#its really really depressing that there are people out there ready to throw mentally ill people under the bus#just so that they have some sort of argument#you can criticize them on the educational value and the things that they have done#but not on their disorder or intrinsic things about them that you have no idea about#no matter how you say this it will always look bad#i would put in image ids but its too infuriating to look at and its best if you dont#also you didnt catch shit bitchelle#all you caught was stupid disease
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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i'm trying to watch a trans guy critique some video game trans rep bc i'm interested in hearing more trans ppl talk about it. but he's very. i'm paraphrasing here but "why would anyone ever in a million years want their rpg character to have top surgery scars. isnt that a constant reminder to you and everyone around you about how you were born" and "you don't work on transitioning. you just need hormone treatment and possibly some--"
#i get that some trans men need to fight themselves and everyone around them to feel ''man enough'' in like a semi toxic masculinity way#but its kinda tiring to hear ngl. im sorry you feel that way and i know not having been born cis sucks and i understand your emotions but d#you have to make them my problem. like idk i feel like my transition DID take work and#personally for me my top surgery scars are a positive reminder of how far ive gotten#when i pay them any attention. which is not very often#man im just existing not analyzing every part of my body at all times#yknow. some ppl sound like they watched a bit too much of a certain youtuber who was rancid about other trans men and talked about stuff li#like how theres a mens and womens way to flip your middle finger and stuff.#sight thats so besides the point#anyways i am open to hearing opinions that differ from mine and i want to do that but some people you just dont vibe with#leevi talks#obvs no hate to this creator btw. he speaks about stuff very well but some little word choices here and there rub me the wrong way#and he has good points so far i am intrigued of what he has to say i just needed a break to bitch so i can continue#edit: no this video isnt even good. like i dont agree with bioware but he sounds like hes just on purpose misunderstanding everything#so he has more stuff to get mad about for his video#is it ragebait
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some shippers when solas has had important relationships from thousands of years ago and he can't just forgive himself for failing those closest to him then and go "okie dokie!" when his wife tells him he can come back home
#dragon age fandom critical#solavellan#im sorry some of you are not serious he literally says in the cutscene i wish ur forgiveness soothed my faults but unfortunately#hes been on this path for CENTURIES before lavellan was even born like yes he would like to apologize to mythal#AND HE LEFT LAVELLAN CLUES BC SHE WANTED HIM TO TRACK HIM SHE WANTED HER TO STOP HIM#unfortunately sometimes you kinda need your best friend turned master turned opp to say it's ok#like she literally came in went well lolz we both fucked up teehee i release u from indentured servitude PCE#and some of u are still mad#RELATIONSHIPS DONT EXIST IN A FUCKING VACUUMM!!!!!!#mind you mythal got betrayed by her own deranged husband who then got locked away and she was lobotomized#and then after she protected her people in this new world solas showed up and went well im bombing it#LIKE UNFORTUNATELY. SINCE HE KILLED FLEMETH HE KINDA NEEDED TO ATONE FOR THE NUMEROUS GRIEVANCES HE CAUSED IN MYTHALS LIFE TOO#also like even tho it was mythals choice to follow her husband and it was her own undoing#solas as a spirit of wisdom who knew better and warned her still thinks he failed her and not vice versa bc it was his Nature.#i also think it would be largely out of character for solas to just go okie after lavellan forgives him#he literally broke up w her bc he felt he was betraying this path of repentance he made up for himself#he wished it was as easy to just cast aside & get over it and adapt like mythal clearly has but#in his core he feels deeply. his regrets his losses his pain. he is a spirit#he is not a man. he is weighed down by emotions the mortal coil cannot comprehend#it is also why he did not want cole bound or inq drinking from the fountain#he made a choice and he failed and he carried that burned for centuries#he would not have that thrust upon someone else#and he also cannot wash away the guilt without confronting it. and he hasnt been confronting it until hes trapped#and even then his last confrontation w mythal b4 vg was when he gutted her to seize power and do what HE thought he must
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*grits teeth*
i do not want to discourse here or anywhere anymore but it does kind of affect me as a transmasc bi person when i see shit that indirectly misgenders me and implies that bisexuality is an icky no good word and identity and you have to be bi and gay and bi and lesbian and bi and straight at the same time or support them or you're an evil stinky stinky terf like... hello where am, i
#it makes me feel othered by an otherwise inclusive community bc how dare i think that men aren't involved in lesbianism#or how dare i think that bisexuality is a whole and valid sexuality#or how dare i think that any and all nonbinary genders are included in every single sexuality by default#or that trans women are women so no fuckin g duh theyre included in lesbianism and if your knee jerk reaction to seeing:#men cannot be lesbians is to think of trans women then you are the transphobe here#or how i dare think that trans man and transmasc aren't the exact same thing#that genderqueerdyke person is also a transadrophobia geek and theyre buddies with genderkoolaid#which like. do i HAVE to say it?#IF U IGNORE THE TRANSMISOGYNY (WHICH U SHOUDLNT) THEYRE ALSO A ZIONIST HELLOW?? WHATS NOT CLICKING WHATS NOT CLICKING#OK IM KINDA MAD ABT THAT LIKE... SORRY BUT HOW ABOUT WE DONT PLATFORM IDIOTS NO MATTER HOW GOOD THEIR RHETORIC MIGHT SOUND#BC U WANT TO BE TOTALLY INCLUSIVE AND NOT GATEKEEPY#ive BEEN around the fucking block ive BEEN on tumblr when the resident terfs here coined bi lesbian#if you scrolled back far enough in certain keywords you wouldve seen that shit in the early 2010s being discussed in their circles#to mean lesbians who are attracted to trans women#you cannot reclaim that or recoin it#yes ive done the research too#i looked at every single piece of evidence of that label existing in the past 50~ years#its just bisexual women back when lesbian spaces also included them#plus like may i also fucking ssay that bisexual also used to mean being of two sexes (transsexual/gender and/or intersex?)#this close to fully believing that the pushback against bisexual being it's own whole and valid sexuality is some kind of psy op#i sound schizophrenic well Maybe I Am#i feel like im going to end up deleting this post bc i dont want to argue with people who disagree with me because there is no getting#through to any of you#tbd.
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5sos: puts HBG on the dice
5sos: has to play HBG
5sos: surprised pikachu face
No because those men took a glorified beach ball the size of Luke, slapped a song they actively hate and they think we like because of the chanting (hbg), 2 songs a lot of people talk about in social media and we do actively like (wayf and iydk), a song they never played before that is somewhat popular on 5sostok for conspiracy theories about who it is about (ela) and 2 songs I have no idea how even ended up on the mix (voodoo doll and heartache) and decided that literally throwing that in the audience would be a great idea. A tour doesn't need a surprise song, they made a conscious decision of making the dice, then they pick the songs on said dice and go all when it lands on half of them.
Like dudes what the hell did you think was gonna happen? That you could cheat your way into not playing it the whole tour? If you don't want to play the song don't make it an option, is not like y'all are not pretending half your discography doesn't exist, put hbg in that box and tell the people chanting for it to get over themselves. It's your show, you make the rules. If you hate a song don't fucking make it an option.
#legit the hbg debacle is making me actively hate the song#my conspiracy theory is that the dice exists because they wanted to make it through all the talking breaks without the clueless people that#keep changing hbg interrupting them#and im not sorry if you think the chanting was funny last year after the amount of times they asked people to stop youre an asshole#it wasn't funny then and it's not funny for me now personally the way they hate the song kills the vibe#the videos all have the weirdest energy#and thats a whole 5 minutes of the show we could be getting literally any other song#tmh couldve still be there maybe something more high energy from 5sos5 like haze or something#its a whole 5 minutes of the show that exists to appease a bunch of people they shouldn't bend to in the first place#if youre actively mad if you go to a 5sos concert and they didn't play hbg (before the dice okay) youre 13 or not a 5sos fan#they're playing 27 songs with a whole production#last year it was also 27 with this amazing light show to go with it#like move on let them move on no one wants to be remembered by shit they wrote when the were 16 when they're 27#sorry this is not what you asked I'm just pressed about the issue#i was asked#anon 😌
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hey just a reminder that sometimes you have to accept that you’re going to have to have feelings without a filter, and you’re going to have to tell people that you care about them, and you’re going to have to start saying i love you. if you want affection and love and adoration you cannot close yourself off forever and ever. keep up your walls as you must to protect yourself but not forever. and if you feel like you can’t ever let them down then i’m sorry. i hope you find someone that makes you feel safe enough to start saying and feeling these things.
#lolaa.txt#little thing about emotions.#i’m not affectionate. not really.#im a deflector and i laugh off affection and love a lot#and all it has ever done for me is push away people who want to help me so so badly.#and it’s a slow change. slowwwww. the tiniest steps .#and i go back so often.#today my boyfriend said he missed me and that i was pretty when i woke up and i told him i was going to never speak to him again#because i cannot accept these things and it so so hard to say that i appreciate it#but i know i know he needs to hear it and he needs to feel appreciated yknow?#and im working on it im trying so hard#especially when you have been fucked over for saying your feelings in the past. it’s hard. it’s so hard. and i’m sorry#just. tell your friends you love them. tell people when you’re excited or happy.#smile when you get to do fun things. laugh at jokes! scream and yell and cry and hit things and grin and be out there#numbness will not fix what problems you have. it won’t.#it’s comfortable but you can’t have love without discomfort sometimes#sorry about all this i’m just . i’m having a bad day and it’s really hard today to be open to everyone#so this is my try#i am upset. and i miss my friends. and i love my mom and i am also mad at her because i am frustrated with the world right now.#and i am tired but because its tiring to force myself to exist and feel#i need to relearn how to be a child about it#and that’s okay#that’s all ; sorry for the long tags. thank you for being here
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"OMG! Did you know that pigs would easily eat a human? How scandalous! Outrageous! Disgusting! Pure proof of their immorality!"
- average Jessica, who eats porkchop with their family once a month
#LISTEN i understand instinctively and subconsciously we way try and protect our own specie - our own kin -#other species would as well!#that doesnt mean that on a concious logical level we should be mad at other species for being fije with eating humans when nine times out of#them we CONSTANTLY eat THEM#also - im not saying that you HAVE to NEVER eat meat and that you are a horrible being for it -#because meat contaijs a lot of important things for your body that are difficult to obtain otherwise#that's also not to say the current power and privilege we hold over other species and that the way we abuse animals is good#objectively planet Earth would be better off if all humans were dead#there would be a ton of complilations especially at the beginning but with time it would be better for the planet#thats NOT to say i think we should eradicate all our existences - just like i wouldn't advocate for the eradication of all mosquito due to#them being responsible for many peoples malaria#which is nor exactly the best comparison i suppose#but no innocent life should be “sacrificed for the greater good”. they deserve to live like all others and its not their fault specifically#its not your fault for being born in a time where nearly impossible not to unintentionally participate in the destruction of earth#its the systems fault#too bad most people in power are huge assholes#alright sorry for yapping.#toki rambles
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how do you feel about the new tf2 leaks?
Oh it big sucks!
listen, this leak honestly makes me so mad im not even joking. not because of like, leaks like this cause so much trouble for the developers who own them (in how to combat it), or for the source licencees who are affected by the leak, but WHO it affects in this community.
say you've been working a beta recreation of 2Fort from Trailer 2 (since it's the version with the most footage), you've been working on it in your spare time for the past... 6 years lets say. you know the ins and outs of this map, you've watched footage and studied screenshots from around August 2006, and you've made an intense list of all the eras of 2Fort to ensure you have a timeline of eras so you know which to avoid and such.
so your beta 2Fort recreation is as accurate it can be from all the public media you could find from it. you've even gotten the sewers to be as low as they were in the beta combined with the higher water. there's some things left to your interpretation of the map, since the sewers have never been shown for example, and you push it out for people to play around on. this was basically your hobby for the past 6 years, and it meant so much to you to be able to create something with a love you can't put to words.
suddenly. the worst thing imaginable. a month after you post it? an entire developer repo leaks. and lets pretend it's got that version of 2Fort intact. that's a serious gut punch BUT, then you get comments from folks like "oh the actual 2fort leaked" "this is obsolete now" "oh well a recreation couldn't ever top a leak". it's demoralizing. it breaks their spirit for something they worked so hard on. the one thing you loved working on? well seemingly it doesn't matter now to the community you painstakingly made it for.
that's what hurts for me, is the people who've created content based off of things from TF2 (like the Spellcasters Witch), whom have made it from scratch, added their own personal touches like different outfits and hairstyles, to the ability to allow the user to recolour every part of that outfit. then a leak comes along and it seems everyone's ferally knashing their teeth at this leak. no leak can ever come close to the kind of love community members put into stuff.
that's why i hate this leak. and even with the 60 gigabytes of stuff that's leaked? people are still like "oh well this doesn't have everything 🙄". like sorry 60GB wasn't enough for you?
i hope we never see a TF2 leak again. this shit sucks and i hate the community around it.
#ask#catsmocha#i dont care whats in it. i dont care what maps are found. it fucking sucks#id have to imagine that any valve dev who had a slight want in working on TF2 again have quickly changed their mind from this#what do i know. im just some guy#but the whole ''cut content community'' for tf2 sucks#theyve been sitting on their hands waiting for the repo to leak. and theyre not even satisfied#now they want the SFM repo! which i bet doesnt exist. or wont exist now that this's happened#good job you idiots!#youll never see a TF2 leak after this point ill tell you that much. and good!!!! fuck 'em!!!#none of them deserve this stuff#sorry im just really mad at how people treat scrapped content for this game#theres so much stuff PUBLICLY AVAILABLE TO YOU that you can research through and find new stuff#but no 🙄💅 gotta get my hands on that repo!!! cant waste my time looking elsewhere#it makes me so mad#legit my heart goes out to the content creators who made models and maps before this leak#you put so much work into your craft. im sorry its being ignored for this shit#thank you for the ask honestly. i feel like if i didnt have an ask like this i wouldve explo💥💥💥💥💥
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im convinced that people who actually want to live in cities and dont see the environmental and emotional trauma their inflicting on themselves by enabling those places to continue to grow have just the most severe brain damage
#saw a post that made me mad talking about slow living being Bad (in ways im not gonna write in tags and end up in thos spaces by accident)#but like......dropping a hut on a vacant lot and growing some veg and chickens is not nearly as#detrimental or colonizing as sprawling cities#also like who the fuck WANTS to live in a concrete jungle when trees and grass exist#yall are fucking sickos to lump wanting to be educated on herbal medicine and growing food and SPACE AWAY FROM LOUD NEIGHBORS#in with like trd wife and trf bullshit#cottagecore on twitter houses those type but like.....you know farms exist outside of northamerica too right#and some of us are better equipped for famr labour than retail?#i see more people complain about cottagecore as an aesthetic than is actually has issues tbh#but maybe i just mind my own business and actually know what living on a farm entails#my body gave out on me but i literally used to work on a horse farm#i know how much work chickens are#anyway people really will complain about anything and fail to realize that their own lifestyle is a much bigger problem than some strawman#they created in their heads just because they saw one tradwife on instagram living on a homestead with her 8 children and cheating husband#sorry i dont want to contribute to mental illnesses and pollution by living in the city??#farm whether hobby or just partially self sustaining doesnt equal root of all evil#some of us are just better equipt to tend to the sheep in the scottish highlands were our ancestors started#and besides id rather see semi delusional tradwives stsrting homesteads than all that same 'vacant' land go to more housing developments#anyway tho#all this because some bad faith take someone had because someone had the audacity to talk about their experiences with transmisogyny#(which i still think is a dumb concept cause called a spade a spade its transphobia) and wasnt a transfemme#im begging yall to stop talking over transmasc and afab people#youre not more important because you identify as a woman stop giving yourselves victim complexes and shutting down important conversations
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keep seeing that person who is OBSESSED with posture and its actually pissing me off
#like im sorry but you look worse#like genuinely its scary#it gives I Dont Know Anatomy And Tried To Draw A Side Profile#like please no#i HATE IT#and like. unless its harming you (which most of the time it ISNT) whoooooo gaf#WHOOOOOO GAF AT ALL#makes me sooo mad like please just enjoy life instead of freaking out about your posture girl ong#i HATE accounts dedicated to “skincare” and shit#like im sorry but i have Zero respect for you when your main audience is 14 year old girls be for real#“you NEED to be using aandnndndnsnnananjdjsj! youll thank yourself when youre 25 😏” can i just live my life#whatever happened to enjoyment#why should i HATE my wrinkles girl shut UP#“if you have a round face its just your cortisol!�� literally every woman in my family has a round face do not piss me off#why are they all CONVINCED that round faces shouldnt exist#like im sorry i have cheeks?????????!??!?!??!?!??! what the fuck#if you happen to be a child and seeing this then can you just tell people to shut the fuck up while you can still get away with it#or cry in their faces and tell them they made you feel bad#blah blah!#not 75 stuff#anyway if ONE MORE PERSON tries to tell me to use a Product to “fix my skin” or my face shape or whatever im going to explode them#with my mind.
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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if max had been tasked to design this thing
#sorry not sorry im still mad at him#dont plan on stopping anytime soon#he was SO CONDESCENDING#''youre gonna have sex eventually'' SAYS WHO#SAYS W H O MAX#and sorry but dont take that ''as long as pisaeng agrees then no problem'' as max telling kawi that its fine because that wasnt it at all#it was a clear implicit challenge#like ''yeah bring that up and see how it goes lmao''#be my favorite#and honestly i dont think id be so mad if it wasnt for all the queer themes in the show#the least they could do was addressing the possibility#just make max ask kawi if he WANTED to have sex with pisaeng especially because kawi says ''its not that significant''#and like. max is pictured as this Queer Guru™ who fights for everyone else#hmmmm well not everyone apparently since the thought of asexual people existing doesnt even cross his mind#just think for a moment of kawi was actually asexual and max had said those things to him#max would become a villain in the narrativr 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#what did they do to my bestie#i cant have nice things ever#WHATEVERRRRRRRRRRRR#expectations are a disease
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hey this may be a weird question so feel free to never answer but how did you go about gaining weight? you're so happy with it and i think it may be for me too but i wouldn't know the first step towards that happiness so,,
i’m gonna be so honest it just happened naturally when i went on testosterone. i didn’t drastically change my diet or exercise, if anything i ended up getting more exercise from walking all over my campus (i started t before i started college), and i definitely need to eat more than i used to, but nothing drastic. it’s just how my body reacted to having more testosterone. i didn’t expect it at all going into it, although i’m very glad it happened, but some people lose weight on hrt and some people dont have a weight change ag all, it just depends on the person. since i did literally nothing to gain weight other than hrt, and obviously i have no idea whether hrt is something you even remotely want to do, and hrt isn’t even a guarantee your weight will change at all, i cant do much other than share my own experience 😭 but i wish you luck in whatever you end up doing, and i hope you enjoy your body!
and this might be a weird answer, but if you feel comfortable, you could always try poking around in a weight gain fetish community somewhere online. it’s not really something i’m into so i can’t say whether or not anything will come from it, but i know it exists and it’s a group of people who know how to gain weight, and i’m sure some of them post about how they do it. i won’t give out any more medical advice on tumblr, and i hesitate to ask if anyone else has any advice, but i’m sure the very best thing you could do is talk to a medical professional about it, and just make sure to take good care of your body no matter how much you weigh. weight and health will never measure your worth as a person, but you should always try and take care of your body as best you can. and eat your veggies 👍
#inbox#anon#just make sure your body is healthy and you can do whatever with it#i just let my body do what it wanted to do and i’m still perfectly healthy#but please do make sure you’re taking care of your body because it’s not fun to have any sort of chronic physical health issues no matter#what the source is#go walk around a lot it’s really good exercise and very easy to do if you’re physically able and have a space to walk in#also im not a doctor don’t listen to everything i say im just some guy. fyi#i really truly do wish we couoh completely get rid of the stigma that fat=unhealthy forever and ever#i am just as healthy if not more healthy 50+lb heavier than i was before i went on t#sorry for the ramble lol again i cant do much other than share my own experience#also i do really want to stress that unhealthy fat people will always exist and still deserve love and respect and society treats them badly#and i bring this up because i’ve seen a lot of ppl who correctly argue that fat people can be just as healthy still look upon unhealthy fat#people with scorn#and that shit makes me so mad#sorry for the tangent but i think it’s important#i love you fat people
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I stg if I see one more person call the goddamn honeymoon phase of a relationship "love bombing" I'm going to chew through the earth's crust
#love bombing is one of two fucking things#it is either a cult tactic in which members ''feign friendship'' in order to manipulate interested parties into becoming more invested#OR it is an abuse tactic where your partner showers you with affection‚ pressures you quickly towards intense commitment and then gets mad#at you if you pay attention to anything else#love bombing is NOT when your partners behaves highly affectionately towards you at the beginning of a relationship#infatuation exists! people latch strongly onto new things! they've probably idealized you at least a little bit!#it takes time for people to adjust to a new layer of relationship#if it is not part of the abuse pattern of idealization devalue discard then it isnt love bombing#and devalue doesn't mean just losing interest. it means shit like belittling you or otherwise diminishing you in order to control you#ok sorry thats the end of my rant im just. so tired. of the pop pschology pathologization of relationships these days#most people aren't abusive. they're just toxic. they're making mistakes and accidentally hurting people#im not saying you shouldn't feel hurt. it sucks when that shit happens accidentally! your feelings fucking matter!#but understanding intent is important to better protecting yourself in the future#bc the behaviors that protect you from abuse and the behaviors that protect you from accidents are Different. you need both#okay ill shut tf up now
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"Separate the art from the artist" is so insulting to the artists too actually (and totally irrelevant to the question of financial support of said art, in the age of pirating). Have you ever seen as artist say who they are is irrelevant to their work? Why are you implying that what we create is so unspecific to us that you can ignore us. You are trying to extend the capitalistic alienation from our labour to something inherently resistant to commodification, as much as the system forces its monetization for artists to live (and I wish all domains stopped alienating production from its producers, but it's particularly egregious for art imo). It’s something given or sold to the public for them to give the meaning they see fit, and you can decide to discard the initial/intended meaning for yourself, but it was still born from the artist and specific to them, created with their intentions motivating it, their biases colouring each and every choice, it is ludicrous to argue it can be totally dismissed. Trying to erase our role is downright offensive and akin to failing to credit properly. Copyright law has many flaws, in the sense that it is ill-equipped to handle the fact no art is ever 100% original and builds off existing elements, but it exists for a reason, so that artists get their due, you better believe corporations would not compensate us if they could. And minimizing our place in creation is the same mindset
I think it’s also tied to the myth we're born this way, given talent from birth and therefore not really the inventor but merely the executor of our art, negating the amount of training that goes into building skills, and the intellectual labor necessary for any creative work (see: ai bros acting like artists are hoarding drawing skills??), as well as the disregard shown for artistic industry workers anytime there's talks of unionizing (see : caring more about their marvel movies/video games releasing early than making sure crunch is avoided). Some people don’t like to think in depth about neither the context of what they consume nor the breathing bodies that make it come to life (and I understand, cause honestly it makes a lot of stuff depressing, be it food, clothes or art, but it'snecessary sometimes), and seem to think an artist’s relationship to a piece of work is over, all ties severed the moment they publish it, when it is a lifelong and everchanging relationship that takes labour to bear
On another topid so much of art is made of collaboration and merging intellectual properties and building off other people’s work i would like to beat up the myth of the lone genius artist or the mastermind director who deserves all the credit for his big brain, all projects would be nothing without the teams making them happen and an artist with no fellow creative friends literally will shrivel up so pls start putting all the people working in artistic fields on an equal footing, financially speaking too, i am begging society to stop disrespecting craftspeople too btw-
#sam speaks#sorry im mad when non artists go 'but it's not an autobiography so it's not about the artist themselves' shut up you know nothing#i can guarantee whoever the protagonist is the creatives found a path to relate to him and gave them to live their own experiences in a way#also people always use that shit to defend awful people or justify them being rewarded#did you know : you can consume art by terrible people without denying it it's called critical analysis#i had a teacher use it for fucking woody allen. when he literally makes movies where he plays the protagonist grooming a 16yo#never more obvious self insert/confession has existed#*relate to them#also like. the cliché of artists being self obsessed isn't exactly wrong let's be honest. there has to be a little bit of thinking highly o#yourself to believe (rightfully because that's the case for everyone) that your self is worth being expressed#so why would you think artists of the most arrogant self centered demographic in society would be humble enough not to insert themselves?#cishet white men write only about themselves and everybody else in their stories is an accesory; written with no empathy or understanding#something somthing refusal to acknowledge the inteligence of the people different to you#anyways. fuck jk and woody allen and polanski and so on and there are too many names#and support artists if you can so we can share art on our own terms#that said i often dislike art made about artists it's so. uninterestingly self centered
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