#im sorry i know it means a lot to you but we are not the creators of the thing
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s2 ep7- Jhonny watches Danny Dhantom!!
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more jazz in this episode!! love her <3
fentonsibs my beloveds
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ever since i started watching this show, the blue to green eyes phantom trasnition in the intro has bugged me. right as the line “when he first woke up he realized he has snow white hair, and glowing green eyes” plays, he looks in the mirror, as phantom (white hair) and blue eyes, but his eyes turn green shortly after. Why??? his hair was already white, which was the other primary change noted in the song, but his eyes stayed blue until he blinked! which, i was thinking maybe he just needed to blink fo rit to take effect? but in that case, why wouldnt they have changed while he was lying with his eyes closed, dead? why were his eyes closed when he was dead? child sensoring obvi but it just doesnt make any sense? why would it take that long to reach his eyes??? maybe the electrical ghost shock acted as bleach somehow?? idk???? it still makes zero sense to me. idk. someone help
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fenton family vacayyyyy!!!
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“i wont stop until we cxatch a ghost and tear it apart molecule by molecule!!!” uhm sir ur son is traumatized. every single molecule
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only he (danny) can see the pirate ghosts. awww... danny needs comfort. so much danny comfort.
i mean i get why his family would just be thinking he's crazy but what if there is a ghost???
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‘spin the crazy outta him’ uhmmm this feels like abuse. danny bl;ink twice if you need help. he needs help. guys i think he needs help.
i think we need to call cps
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i think he’s feeling the trauma. hes trauamtized. he needs help.
he needs help!! my poor guy
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jazz: im going to take care of you!! despite your protests!! there is no place you can go that i wont follow!! danny: oh really? *walks into boys bathroom*
do it jazz, transition.
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lancer, hearing danny fighting the bathroom, to jazz: if thats ur brother he needs more fiber. see to it. thx jazz
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awww shes trying to helppppP!!!! i love you jazz smmmmmm!!!! cmaping trip fo rthe troubled teen awghdijkjbhvcdblfdkhjbkldskchjvg!!
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danny genuinely tweaking out now that he has to leave home. guys i think my ocd projecting is valid now. i now declare him crazy. i just need to give him morality ocd for funsies. no other reason.
guys ik theres probs an invis ghost but him going crazy like. its kinda comforting. i need him to get psych help please. it would fix me i think. and maybe him. well- lets not go too far now
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fenton ointment?? naahhhh. fointment?? yeahhhh.
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omg he wasnt imagining uit!!!! its the little kiddie!! the kid ghost!! from before!! wasnt he a pirate before? yes. i think yes.
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“cowbrat”?? marry me danny
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ohhh only kids can see the brat ghostttt ahhh. that explains why danny was going crazy. and jazz cant see it cuz shes so grown up. ahhh fun
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“the healing touch of dayglow orange spandex” uhmmm ok jack. you do you boo
hold on i wonder if thats like. an actual paint color or something.
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literally just the psych ward. but camping
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this is a flashback???from when danny didnt know jazz knew?? ok that makes a lot more sense now
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danny: jazz is a spazz jazz is a spazz 🎶 jazz: cut it out you little brat!! danny: i know you are, but what am i?
the most sibling interaction of interacting siblings
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jazz: A GHOST!!! UR NOT CRAZY!!! danny: you have now stooped to my level. thank you for shopping at fentonmart
im sorry what is that dialogue??> i love it but?? i dont think it makes sense???
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jack: pulls weapon out of god knows where maddie: jackkk where did that weapon come from?? jack: id rather not say...
ABHSGDHJDHGAHJHS that joke wouldve flown over my head as a kid!! LMFAOOO im so glad im watching it now
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i love how jazz obviously is trying to help danny as phantom but dannys just like: huh i like this help. im not going to question it because i dont want to have a crisis. thanks for the accidental toss of the fenton thermos into my hand!!
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all in all, this episode was cool. Very very sad, much fentonsibs angst, and heaps of danny angst.
sorry for the delay in coming out with this one, ive been very busy.
my formatting is shit please forgive me
#danny phantom#danny fenton#jhonny watches danny phantom#phandom#danny phandom#danny phantom angst#danny fenton angst#jazz fenton#jasmine fenton#fentonsibs#dp#jack fenton#maddie fenton
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Hi!! Your Cherik is so good and gorgeous 🤩🤩 If you don't mind wanna try to draw some Fall of X Cherik please?
thank you so much !!
i have a couple of ideas relating to the fall of x period specifically since theres. A Lot i wanna play with, so i hope this lil thing may be a satisfactory start :]]
and the obligatory bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#fall of x#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#for clarity on of this tag ramble im calling magneto max OK ok#sorry it took me a while to answer- ive been busy this week !#but yah like i said theres a lot of Fall Of X moments i wanna poke at#one i really wanted to doodle around was max's time with the shadow king from Resurrection of Magneto#the third issue is prob my fave in general if im so tbh .... but i wont prattle bout that ill go back to my previous prattle#i dont think i have a comic in mind prob just a doodle with shadow charles....#i mean if im devious enough i can def turn it into a comic but for now i just know i wanna do something with that#honestly even this moment i might revisit when i have more time to draw something. a lil better#i dont hate this its a sound start- but i THINK i wanna draw a smooch. a lil kiss. idk we'll see#cause im cheeky like that. 'will this be the last time i see you' 'girl idk we can kiss about it though' etc etc#god not to get off topic but im so curious what will happen with these two ... but thats for a diff post i guess#honestly if you guys have any runs i should read lemme know !! i just finished way of x and bar that ive just been reading the 60s issues#i have a couple on my list i wanna check out but im always excited to look into recs if yall think theyre worth it !!#but ya. thats all from me for now#my time is so finite this week i hope i can draw these sillies again soon .. i have a lot of ideas i fear#maybe i can sneak in one more doodle tonight ... <- doubtful
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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horrendously sick and twisted btw
#IT TEARS ME UP TO THINK ABOUT THE METEOR INCIDENT. I AM GENUINELY TORMENTED BY IT#slipping through his fingers.#it's crazy they were actually crazy for the whole meteor thing whoever thought of it needs to financially compensate NOW#i love you so much ill break every rule if it'd mean you'd be happy with me. run away with me#here i am im setting you free im giving you everything you want. could i be part of that? could i be part of what you want#till slips through ivan's fingers. world has now completely shifted#and he can't even be mad. not properly#because this is why he loves till in the first place. he just cant give up on what he cares about. he'll never stop fighting for it#ivan smiles like. this is why it's you#a lot has been said about the meteor scene already but that doesnt stop me from going insane over it#freedom means nothing if till isn't there with me WHAT IF I SHOOK YOU LIKE A RATTLE BOY#ivan was well off. he was eating at feasts. given fine clothes. groomed clean and celebrated for his achievements#yet he was willing to throw it all away#thinking about how they'd probably live on the streets again. struggle to get by on their own as lost little children#their lives would be closer to the one ivan lived in the slums#except the difference would be till. back then he had nothing. if till ran with him he'd have everything#and yet till turns and runs the other way and ivan follows him because of course he does. theres nothing else he'd rather do#any kind of suffering is worth it as long as its for you#till is stubborn. he's persistent. he can't let go.#well fortunately (or unfortunately) so is ivan. incredibly persistent#so here we go again. back in this prison brushing past one another knowing we almost had it all#I WILL GRAB YOU BY THE BOWLCUT AND WRING YOU AROUND LIKE A JOYSTICK BOY!!!!#YOU MAKE ME ILL!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!#alnst#alien stage#alien stage ivan#random ramble sorry i have Feelings
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Thinking about the lyrics that goes along the lines of “I couldn't hear your silence over the sound of our happiness” again and of course Satoru couldn’t hear anything else they were separated for their missions and spent more time alone and had more time to think.
In that time Suguru kept thinking of all the ways the world was wrong and how he couldn’t find it in himself to laugh again, but Satoru was thinking of all the times he made Suguru laugh instead. Because he could already see the world for more than what it seemed. Because even though he could, he narrowed his world to Suguru and Suguru’s little giggles he got out of him only.
And because Gojo remembers Geto the way he was whenever he was with him, he remembers him happy.
#in this essay im writing about how the higherups love isolating gojo to the point of his best friend dumping him and yuji dying and-#also. not the exact lyrics but you know what i mean#also. even then gojo asks about it and trusts getos judgement on being fine which i talked about already so i left it out here#they spent enough time separate that they relied on their memories. and satoru who only ever looks at suguru and#satoru who makes suguru laugh. has a lot of those good memories. yknow?#the amount of official art we have on geto looking at him blushy smiley is insane btw#geto suguru#suguru geto#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#satosugu#sugusato#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk anime spoilers#sunposts#this is the hc im basing my fic on that i will never finish at the speed rate im writing it#my tags are an entire another post at this point and im not sorry it will happen again
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I wish I wasn’t american I hate yall bad for voting trump in
#us politics#im so embarrassed and I shouldn’t be because it’s not my fault#yet we know people who aren’t americans will continue to be mean and ignorant#not all of yall ofc but a lot of yall are straight up rude to people who have no control over the government#also if you don’t believe me look at how people acted when we were being censored (or the tiktok ban) and then they cried when we came back#and called out their xenophobic comments#sorry i’m just sick of being treated like shit for things I can’t control about my identity
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i'm thiiiiis close to just blocking the whole j/v tag and/or the individual tags for both characters :)))
#and like. i do like them actually. i would have been happy to see them get together#(honestly if we get right down to it im a 'j has two hands' truther but thats besides the point)#but theyre doing that thing again where its Fucking Everywhere drowning out content i actually want to see. im irritated#i cant open the main tag anymore without seeing those two and almost nothing else and its been Months#'ummm this is the gayest thing ive EVER seen!' you just watched two women fuck on screen.#'c/v are TOXIC and so you CANT ship them' 1. wrong#2. whoooo gives a fuck. i dont care and i know you dont either#3. theyre the only canon couple who never literally tried to kill each other#'ohh theyre just Better Written!' not a new argument and not a good one either. convenient how men are always just better huh#levi.txt#yes this IS brought on by that 'i hope jakey dies' post but also its been sitting in my drafts for a month. this has Been on my mind#tldr i really just think the whole thing is a great microcosm of fan misogyny/lesbophobia#no matter what lesbians/wlw do were always going to have this impossibly high bar of moral purity/quality to reach in comparison#gotta be on screen/not queerbait but not explicit. not boring but not toxic. etc etc#and even when smth gets close its STILL never ever going to appeal as much as the possibility of men and The Implications#this is one thing im not gonna be nice abt anymore sorry. im normally pretty patient but yall get mean levi for one post#im so beyond tired of this shit in damn near every fucking fandom i join its been over 10yrs and nothing has changed#i feel alienated in just abt every popular fandom bc nobody will ever shut the fuck up abt white boy of the month no 579#it happens every time i get into smth that doesnt primarily have a fanbase of other wlw#and even then its not guaranteed that it wont eventually turn into that!#and im INCREDIBLY tired of people acting like wlw are all crazy bitches ruining everyones fun for pointing it out#anyway i might delete this later ive just been having a lot of feelings abt it#dont argue w me you cant change my mind. if you disagree simply do not interact w this post for both our sakes
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#PHEWWWW HI GANG#im writing this via tumblr web so bear with me but i hope everyone’s 2025 has started off well so far !!!!!! a lot has happened on my end#(the good and the bad but we are thugging it out!)#i’ve received very wholesome messages from my lovely moots which i’ve taken a sneak peek of and will be replying to when i get the time !!#anywho! i don’t know when i’ll be back on here bc my creative juices have been DRAINED so yeah :C i didn’t wanna leave completely so i#archived my acc for a bit while i sort things out :3 — my reason for doing so is mixed really. more on losing motivation and just basically#stuff to worry about irl BUUUUT i missed you all so much and me being here and making a post means its kinda getting better on my end so ya#prob not relevant but i’ll enable my asks again if anyone wants to leave anything so that i can come back to it again when i log on sjdnksj#also also i’ve been watching ‘the apothecary diaries’ s2 and its so amazing !! i also started ‘a sign of affection’ and let me tell you how#much i was kicking and rolling around my bed KSNDKSJ#gaming-wise i recently pulled for c0 arlecchino but lost her weapon to clorinde’s weapon 😭🙏🏼 but shes amazing and i love her gameplay sm!#AND AND OMG LADS.??. WELCOME BACK CALEBBBBBB OMGGG i havent done the main story yet but i’m excited !! i know ppl have mixed feelings over#him and his actions but hes so up my alley so ik im gonna be eating it up hehe. i did manage to pull for his standard 5 star which is#exciting too !!! anyway i want to try and get back into writing again because my mind has been brewing yet another heavy chrollo angst 😽#(i love putting my husband through grief)#or maybe i’ll start w finishing off a couple of loose ends from the fics i never finished 😭 (i’m so sorry)#welp that’s all from me !! i love u all <3
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WHSTATSTS @pieflavouredartz )SOMR OF MY GOATS) REBL9GRD TWO OF MY POSTS OMGG HIII I WAS SO SHY TO RESPOND ABOUT IT LAST DAYS LOL
#yes i likr kiraboss too but i dont draw them so often as toruboss! and i didntpost them before bc idk i was also shy#i feel kiraboss community so big for me and#i want mainly to apport to my main otp (that is toruboss) and at first i was kind of ashamed at how my kiraboss post got support#and i considered to delete it LOL but now that you liked it im NOT going to do it <3 IM SO HAPPY#i like to talk ab kiraboss n toruboss with my friend and we personally have a mega lore and inside jokes for it#so i made kirabossweek and quietly shared it only to her so... i was also so impressed w your kirabossweek art too#i was like damn how do they do that thats amazing !! HEHE#I MEAN.. IS A BIT EMBARASSING HAVING TWO OTPS WHO HAVE THE SAME CHARACTER (THAT IS NOT YOUR MAIN FAV CHARACTER)#like wdym diavolo is in a relationship with two morioh guys#Anyway O H I FORGOT THSNK FOR MAKE ME KNOW YOU LIKE THESE DETAILS ABOUT MY ART !#i like drawing noses a lot#AHHALSO#toruvolo was a consideration i had when i was choosing the name for this ship#but i didnt really liked it (i mean idc how it is called but i wanted to choose something i liked more)#at fisrt i didnt wsnted to use toruboss bc i felt like i was copying kiraboss lmao (and i kinda did) sorry but anyway#im very hsppy#cosmigonónn#to make sure to save this#💜#WHY I WROTE A LOT
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Sometimes I see posts on this site and I'm like oh okay, you guys don't actually believe in redemption and don't understand how it works at all. Cool. Okay.
#kai rambles#i wasnt that frustrated about it earlier#but i think its kinda festered a bit#but like#if you agree that a lot of men - especially young men - have been radicalised by the likes of andrew tate and the wider alt right pipeline#and your reaction to it is ''they have agency and free will. its up to them to become better people.''#either you dont understand radicalisation or you dont care about de-radicalising them#like no ones expecting you to coddle them and treat them like children in need of guidance#but at the end of the day they fell down this pipeline because they were searching for community#and if there is not a supportive community out there outside of the alt right#they're not gonna leave the alt right#no one is expecting you to bend over backwards for them#but you need to be open to the idea of people who are a little confused but have got the spirit#there is a fucking elitism problem in the left and im not gonna pretend there isnt#theres many people on the left who act as if you aren't good enough at leftism if you didnt always have leftist politics#and there are ''feminists'' who are like men are inherently bad and evil and i fucking know there are because im a trans guy#and these people are the loudest on the left#so if we actually want to de-radicalise people we have to be louder than this ugly minority#and no bell hooks was not only talking about being kind to young boys#like im sorry but the idea that ''men can stop being misogynistic anytime they want'' isnt something that will just work#that doesn't mean you need to bend over backwards and backflip to jupiter for them#but if you just call them out when you can and you know nudge them in the right direction#then that idea becomes real#we have to give people a chance to make good choices#god if you can just encourage them to read bell hooks
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i’m not a transandrophobia truther in the slightest don’t get me wrong, but i think some people on here really need to realize and comprehend the fact that cis women, way WAY more often than not, hold extremely significant social and political power over trans men the vast majority of the time in our day to day lives
#sorry not to get on this bullshit i just saw a related post when i opened this app lmao#and by some people i don’t mean anyone in particular im not vagueing anyone or any specific post#and i especially don’t mean any transfem calling out transmisogynistic transmascs either#but yeah i see a lot of implication that trans men are like. somehow significantly privileged over cis women#and ofc i don’t mean that transmascs are incapable of being misogynistic to cis women bc that’s far from the case#but i need someone to name a transmasc with significant political or social or financial power that’s working to set back women’s rights#versus the amount of cis women with any of the aforementioned privileges working to take away the rights of trans people#bc i can think of 4 of the latter just off the top of my head without trying really hard#and the only day to day instance i can think of where trans men would hold significant power over a cis woman is like..#a workplace environment where he completely passes as cis and absolutely no one knows he’s trans at all or even suspects it#but then again most if not all of that privilege would be stripped away the second anyone there found out he was trans#but yeah i really do think some people need to grapple with how they conceptualize gendered privilege and their own power in these dynamics#and how that’s reflected in the way they think about/interact with transmascs#are you disgusted with this random transmasc on tumblr because he’s a man (or vaguely adjacent) or because he’s trans. ykwim#and again i hate the whole transandrophobia thing i think it’s stupid as shit and redundant to put it lightly and briefly but#idk why transmascs that believe in it have become the new face of anti-feminism and MRA movements#and not like. the cis men who started both of those things and contribute to the vast majority of that type of rhetoric in every way#and also hold enough power to leverage those beliefs over both women and also transmascs tbh#i think some people are just repulsed by the idea of anyone willingly wanting to be a man bc they see it as the same as becoming a cis man#in terms of privilege. when in reality by being trans you’re knocked down in terms of power and privilege from all cis people anyways#but also. some people also need to realize that transmascs can also have trauma and complicated feelings about being a man and patriarchy#and more often than not we ARE traumatized by the way cis men (and women!!) have treated us#and grapple with our place in the world as a result. it’s not just as simple as becoming a cis man over night tbh!!#and again i’m not talking about transfems with any of this because the vast Vast majority of transfems understand this more than anyone#i’m mostly talking about cis women both irl and also just in the terminally online leftist sphere#and i also think i should be allowed to vent my grievances with the power cis women often do wield over me without being accused of being a#raging misogynist or MRA or whatever
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Random rant/vent about being "*too* mentally ill"
Life is so unfair for people who fall into that neglected category of being *too* mentally ill. You know, all of us who can't seem to just get back up and brush ourselves off the way others can. It wouldn't be fair to demand what you need from other people. If you try, you only hurt them and eventually they'll leave, which you know, painfully, is the right thing for them to do. But what else are you supposed to do?
You're left with only two options- either you suppress it all, direct it inwards even if it's eating you alive, and keep your painful secrets, at least from anyone who isn't a therapist.
Or you let it out, allow yourself to feel it and let others see it, even just a little bit. Sometimes the "help" is offered, sometimes you beg for it but it doesn't matter. It always ends the same way. You're too much. Nothing helps. No matter how much they reassure you or build you up or support you or listen to you 'talk about it', you're always sinking in the boiling mire of your pain. And it's not fair to ask someone to go through that... through the pain of constantly worrying and trying for someone who never gets better. It's not fair to make them talk you down from suicide *every god damn day*. Always worrying what will happen to you if they're not available one day. Blaming themselves. And it's also not fair to be alone, never getting better. Having no one to talk you down, bring you back from the prison in your mind. It's not fair to be left because you're simply suffering too much.
So you ask the *professionals* to handle it, if you're even lucky enough to have access to them. If you're not, then you're honestly just screwed. And if you do, then there's still this... separation. Between your loved ones and the real you. You get medicated and maybe that helps somewhat, you go to therapy and maybe that helps somewhat but recovery is an endurance sport. It takes so much time. How are you supposed to live like an actual human person in the time between appointments, when you only get to be honest for an hour once a week with a stranger?
A miniscule percentage of your week where you're allowed to be half-real. Because god forbid you're *too* real, too honest and even your therapist gives up on you. Tells you they don't know what's wrong, that they 'don't feel qualified' to treat someone with your 'complex' problems. Cause you don't know what's wrong either, you only know that it's killing you. And you don't have the answers, don't know who, if not the professionals, can help. Maybe if you just pray to the right god?
It's so lonely. When even your closest friends can't be exposed to the uncensored you. And it's not just an irrational feeling either- there IS something harmful in demanding too much of people or openly experiencing severe symptoms around them. My point is just that it's not fair to anyone.
#talking about it in second person because im thinking about both myself and those ive had to cut off while writing this#ive been on both sides of this injustice and it hurts so much#i really have no answers. no hope to offer to people in this position#im so sorry. if its any comfort at all just know youre not the only one#and that means that theres a lot of us searching for that answer. the one thats fair. i still think we can find it#im sorry to all the people ive loved and lost because i couldnt handle their pain. i still think about you. every day#i dont blame them. it just hurts#and im sorry to the people who ive overexposed to my own suffering. i dont think its fair for either of us but im sorry you got hurt
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About to enter my villain era where i just take packages off peoples porches because apparently theres just NO consequences to it so why the fuck not
#slash j this is a JOKE im not gonna do this#im not that hateful and shitty#i mjust pissed because someone stole my package AGAIN and the police wont accept a report because its not like i have anything to provide#and the post office basically said 'well we looked and couldnt find it sorry btw we cant reimburse you'#even though having SENT packages thru USPS i know they have 100$ insurance for what i had assumed was this reason#but nah cant give me my 57 back#okay#sure whatever#im so mad lmao#like ive let a lot of my stolen/lost packages slide#but this was a full set of an out of print manga that i will never find at that price again#and the help desk people id been working with were so mean every time i talked to them#which i GET it i hate customer service too but pleaseeeee i just want m y fucking books 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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"Who's idea was it to put the cone on your head for the parade? Was that all you?" "Zach Eisenberg [Director, Executive Operations]—I think is his name—he takes care of us a lot at Amerant Bank Arena. I don't know his exact role with the team but he's just kind-of always around, and helps us out. He's friends with Brooks [Koepka.] I think he helps Brooks when he comes to the games. Anyways he found a pylon or I think I might have told him—I was pretty drunk at the time but I think I told him to go get a py—'if you could find a pylon, find one!' 'Cuz they sprung that speech on me, kind-of, last second, you know, five minutes before I was supposed to go up there. I'm like, 'What the fuck am I gonna say?' So I had him go grab the pylon and I grabbed it on the side of the stage right before I was gonna do my speech. And luckily all the clips are of that, you know, me telling him to go fuck himself... 'cuz the rest of my speech was terrible. There's really nothing to it! And I'm so happy that, you know, all the clips are only of that so!" "Yeah, we didn't know you said anything else! I thought that was the entire speech!" "That's all that matters!" "Exactly, exactly! I got away with it there!"
The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)
i love finding out they basically told ekky he was gonna have to do a whole speech 5 minutes before he was up while hes been drenched from rainwater and alcohol for like the past 6 hours absolutely pissed out of his mind like yeah no wonder his speech basically culminated to THANK YOU SOUTH FLORIDA AND ALSO GIVE IT UP FOR MY D PARTNER WOOOOO yeah that tracks
"But what golf tournament* were you at shortly after that? Somebody was dressed like a cone? Was that Lomberg who was dressed in like a costume? A cone costume?" "He came—Brooks came up to you—" "No, that was his buddy, that was his buddy. He was actually a Sunrise police officer. I actually saw him last night at the Zach Bryan concert! But yeah, no, that's one of his buddies. No, he was completely put to bed the day after. Right? Like he texted me—I personally didn't care, like, how many people at a hockey game are calling me a cone and telling Barkov he's got no hands like it's—you know, that's hockey. That's sports, right? So I didn't give a shit but—yeah, no, it was all in good fun. And then I got a way to get him back! It's perfect!" "But when you did see the first video of him in the box—and I remember watching that, I'm like, 'this motherfucker is rolling esctasy!' His eyes were fuckin' gigantic, he's like, 'Aaargghh.' Like, 'I can't take him, he's calling me a cone! I can't—' But that is kind-of odd that a professional athlete is gonna call you a cone and he's like a fan of yours...it's just—it was really bizarre!" "Goofy!" "Yeah..." "And his eyes were black which, you know..." "What does that mean?" "I just know what that means... and he was fucked up, you know..." "Yeah, yeah! He was definitely fucked up and he agreed that he was fucked up. And he apologised so I didn't care, obviously. And then when I was at that golf event I should've thrown a beer at his backswing or something—at the LIV event when he was actually competing? I should've fucked with him but I couldn't do it... I couldn't—I couldn't find the courage to throw something at him..." "So did he reach out to you like that night? And say, 'Hey, dude... I was just joking, you know...'" "'I took some pills and...'"
*2023 LIV Golf Team Championship (Miami) held from Oct. 20-22 in Doral
[and i suppose more context here lombo and koepka are friends and he even showed up to his cupday when he went golfing in parkland and not to mention that lombo facilitated koepka apologising to ekky so its why the whole cone costume came to be really]
theres a lot more context about this incident and the ensuing storm after it so for archival sakes here are articles about it (x)(x)(x)(x)(x) because its quite a saga but its water under the bridge and there's only so much tabloid-esque coverage thats been reignited after the ekky speech i can take about an athlete who's dumb enough to insult another guy while hes drunk off as his ass in a fucking public setting
but anyways i think its really funny that i said to myself wow thats an oddly petty thing to admit to you know the whole wanting to throw a beer at his backswing ekky... for such a good vibes sweet man who like the only thing youve particularly said about the cone novella is "we'll never be buddies" to which you quickly retracted and then went "holding ill will against somebody and pulling negativity in your body is never a good thing"
and then i remembered who he attended the liv event with and it all made sense
behind every aqua whos being a little mean there is a much worse much more evil looming presence who is encouraging them down this dark path (a gem but especially a june gem)
truly a tale as old as time
#aaron ekblad#florida panthers#aaron ekblad is not a speech giver and hes certainly not a speech giver when hes drunk lmao#bitch just went woo! a lot and publicly loved forsy yeah and i wouldnt have it any other way#also not like any of us noticed the speech was bad we were all either too drunk or halfway to hypothermia we fuckin cheered for anything lo#that being said while i was fucking shivering like a chihuahua it did absolutely warm my heart to see a man so touched by all of us#animalistically chanting ekky at him like thats what its all about fucking barked my little heart at everything he said I DID NOT CAREEE#as a gem i do in fact make all my friends actively worse and go “you're being way too nice about this lmao dw ill be mean about it for you”#love the sasha mention and the ghost of benny haunting us all very nice#meant to post this earlier but i think the more context is added to this the better and it took a while to remember and track it down#anyways i love pretending doral is miami#please dont ask south floridians what is miami and what is not miami that is gonna cause a civil war#also dont ask people outside south florida what is miami because they sure as hell dont know#need to give a presentation on miami versus soflo and why calling it “greater miami/miami metropolitan area” is really fucking stupid#and just serves to confuse the living fuck out of everyone outside this fucking hellhole#im sorry thats my geo rant over i promise i wont bring this up again until like (looks at calendar) tomorrow#also very funny that ekky dated himself by saying “last night at the zach bryan concert” so we know he recorded this on july 23rd#thank you king very nice of you
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I feel like art spaces of any kind can be so hostile to beginners like i had a guy call the studio today to ask abt pottery stuff for his partner and i spoke to him for about half a hour abt stuff answering questions and he was like "thank you for actually helping us, everywhere else we called just said they couldnt help and hung up without pointing us in a direction" and i was literally like...girl wtf.
Why do we as artists feel the need to gatekeep from others- i have never felt this way? It does not cross my mind to be like "i know this info but im not telling youuu". If someone expresses wanting to learn then im going to lend my hand because why the hell not??? Sigh!
"Figure it out!!" Is not often good advice if you do not point people in a direction that sets them up for success.
#ive also heard nightmares abt classes being mean towarsa beginners which doesnt happen here but#''if you dont know what youre doing you dont beling here'' then why is it a beginners class. just say u cant teach#i feel like bc we are online we see this a lot with digital artists and im just not that way. sorry.
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i've got the kind of dramatic flair that proves i'm dead inside
#only with people i trust though#with new people i die and say sorry a lot#welll i say sorry a lot in general#imagine getting to know me thinking that you're adopting an introvert#i mean you are#but i will be loud#idk how to tag this#i dont know how to tag in general#ive said sorry to inanimate objects#a book and chair to be precise#i feel like people on tumblr can probably relate#did a dramatic performance today to explain how unfair trials are unconstitutional#very fun#i need to stop typing#baring my soul is so fun#i need to stop#okay there we go#im done#this is done#let it go jerry#click post#why must things be this way#*dramatic gasp*#please make friends with me so i can share my dramatic flair
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