#im so sorry im so mean to you. yours truly - me
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lost in the melody | sjy
pairing: student!jake x student!reader | genre: fluff, romance, emotional(?)
synopsis: “lost in the melody" follows the journey of two souls brought together by music. when you stumble upon the quiet, talented jake sim in the school music room, a bond begins to from as he lets you into his world of melodies, secrets and dreams. together, you navigate the ups and downs of young love, face challenges, and support each other's aspirations, even when it means facing separation. through distance and time, your connection endures, creating a love story that, like music, is timeless and ever resonant.
! no cw !
[notes] hi guys okay so im doing this jake story and right now im working on a sunghoon story too so pls stay tuned! ive been very busy for the past months so this is like kind of a surprise post . anyways yea , go read
divider by @dollywons
jake sim was the first guy everyone noticed but few knew. tall with messy black hair that fell into his eyes, he often had a guitar case slung over his shoulders and headphones that seemed permanently attached to his ears. he drifted through the halls like a spector, his presence both magnetic and elusive.
you first truly saw him play one afternoon when curiosity led you to the music room after class. the door was slightly ajar, and a soft sound wafted out, pulling you in. inside, the late afternoon sun cast a golden glow around jake as he sat by the window, his fingers moving expertly over the strings. each note filled the room with a haunting melody that sent shivers down your spine.
he hadn’t noticed you at first; his eyes were closed, a serene smile gracing his lips as if he was in another world. you felt like an intruder, a momentary eavesdropper on something deeply personal personal but the music was intoxicating, and you couldn’t tear yourself away.
when he finally stopped, you clapped softly, unable to hold back your admiration.
jake’s eyes flew open, startled, “I didn’t know… I didn’t know anyone was here,” he stammered, his cheeks flushing a deep shade of pink as he scrambled to put his guitar down.
“I’m sorry,” you replied, a little embarrassed but genuinely impressed. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. you play beautifully.”
his shoulders relaxed slightly, though he still looked shy. “thank you. I… I just play to unwind. it’s nothing special.”
“no way, it’s amazing,” you insisted, feeling an unexpected rush of courage. you introduced yourself, and after a moment, he offered a small smile in return, “i’m jake.”
as the bell rang, an awkward silence settled between you. “well, I guess I should go,” you said, shuffling your feet.
“yeah, me too,” he replied, his eyes darting away. but just before leaving, he glanced back at you, a flicker of hope in his gaze. it was as if he wanted to see you again.
in the weeks that followed, you found yourself crossing paths with jake more often. some days, you’d catch him in the music room, and he’d invite you in to listen. other times, you’d pass each other in the hall, exchanging shy smiles that made your heart flutter.
one afternoon, as you walked past the library, you noticed him sitting alone by the window, his head buried in a notebook. curiosity piqued, you stepped closer, but he noticed and quickly closed it, looking flustered.
“sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” you said, feeling slightly guilty for intruding. “no, it’s fine,” he replied, glancing down at his notebook as if it held all his secrets. “I was just… writing.”
���writing what?” you asked, unable to hide your curiosity.
he hesitated, biting his lip. after a moment, he sighed and opened the notebook to reveal a page filled with scribbled lines and music notes. “lyrics. it’s kind of personal. but, uh, it helps me sort out my thoughts.”
you leaned in closer, captivated. “they look beautiful. I’d love to hear some of it sometime.”
jake’s eyes softened, a shy smile forming on his lips, “maybe one day. when it’s finished.”
from that moment, you two grew closer. you often met after school in the music room, discussing everything from your favourite bands to your dreams. jake began to share more of himself, his guarded nature slowly breaking down.
as the school festival approached, jake surprised you by asking for your help with his band’s performance. “I could use someone I can trust,” he said, a hint of nervousness in his voice. “you know, to help organise things.”
excited, you agreed without hesitation. during rehearsals, you watched jake transform from the shy boy you knew into a confident musician. his presence on stage was electric; the way he commanded the audience’s attention left you breathless.
finally, the night of the festival arrived. the auditorium buzzed with energy, the scent of popcorn filling the air as students mingled, chatting excitedly. after a successful performance, where jake had poured his heart into every note, he suggested escaping the noise to the rooftop.
under a blanket of stars, jake took a deep breath, his expression serious yet vulnerable. “there’s… something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” he said, his voice almost lost in the night breeze. he fidgeted, glancing away, clearly struggling with words.
encouraging him gently, you said, “you can tell me anything, jake. I promise.”
he looked at you, his eyes searching yours. “I’m not great at talking about my feelings. but being around you feels different. you make me feel like I can be myself.”
a lump formed in your throat as he continued, “I like you. more than I’ve liked anyone. you’ve been my inspiration for so many songs… would you give us a chance?”
you felt your heart race, your mind swirling with emotions. “jake, I feel the same way,” you confessed, your voice steady. “I’d love nothing more.”
a relieved smile broke across his face, his eyes lighting up with joy. “really?” he asked, disbelief mingling with hope.
jake invited you to his favourite spot by a secluded lake, a hidden gem he frequented to find peace. the two of you sat on a grassy hill, the sun setting in vibrant hues of orange and pink. as the cool breeze brushed against your skin, you shared childhood stories and dreams, feeling a sense of comfort wash over you.
“what’s it like to play music?” you asked, glancing at him as he gazed thoughtfully over the water.
“it’s like… he paused, searching for the right words. “it’s like being able to say things that I can’t cope with words. music allows me to show parts of myself that I keep hidden.”
you watched him, captivated. “and what about when you’re with me?”
he turned to you, his gaze softening. “but with you, I don’t feel like I need to hide.” he hesitated before adding, “you make me feel free.”
in that moment, your heart swelled with affection. without thinking, you leaned your head on his shoulder. jake tensed for a moment, then relaxed as he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer.
as the sun dipped below the horizon, pointing the sky in deep purples, you felt an overwhelming sense of peace and belonging.
as the months passed, your relationship with jake blossomed. you spent lunch together, swapping secrets and laughter. he often brought his guitar to your study sessions, playing soft tunes that filled the air with warmth. “you’re my muse,” he’d tease, making you blush, but you knew he meant it.
for the school’s end-of-year showcase, jake nervously asked you to sing with him. “I wrote a song for us,” he confessed, his cheeks turning a shade darker. “it’s everything I feel about you. I’d love it if we could sing it together.”
the night of the showcase was electric with anticipation. as you stood on stage, fingers intertwined with jake’s, the spotlight felt both exhilarating and terrifying. he began to play, his fingers dancing over the strings with a passion that took your breath away.
as he sang, his voice resonated through the auditorium, filled with emotion that stirred your heart. you joined in, your voices blending harmoniously, weaving a narrative of love and connection that captivated the audience.
when the last note lingered in the air, silence enveloped the room for a heartbeat before the crowd erupted into applause. jake turned to you, his eyes shining with gratitude and love. “thank you,” he whispered, brushing his fingers against yours. “for being the song I never knew I needed.”
tears of joy filled your eyes as you leaned in, meeting him halfway for a soft, tender kiss. the crowd faded away, leaving just the two of you in your own world, a melody playing that only you could hear.
but as your relationship deepened, the challenges began to surface. jake had a habit of retreating into himself whenever stress crept in, especially concerning his music. you noticed the change after a long rehearsal for the upcoming talent show; he seemed distant, his laughter replaced by silence.
“jake, is something bothering you?” you asked one afternoon, lightly touching his shoulder, concern etched on your face.
he looked up, frustration flickering in his eyes. “I… I just need some space right now,” he muttered, avoiding your gaze. “it’s hard to explain.”
you nodded, heart heavy with worry. “okay, just… let me know if you need anything.”
days turned into weeks, and you felt him slipping away, a ghost of the boy you had grown to love. you decided you couldn’t stay silent any longer. after class one day, you confronted him, your heart racing. “jake, if there’s something wrong, you can talk to me. I’m here for you.”
his expression softened, but the conflict in his eyes was clear. “I’m scared,” he admitted quietly. “scared that I won’t be good enough for you, for the band… for anything. I don’t want to let you down.”
“jake, you’re not just good enough. you’re incredible,” you replied, determination lacing your voice. “you’ve always been enough for me. please, don’t shut me out.”
he looked at you, uncertainty lingering. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“but you already are,” you whispered, feeling the tears well up in your eyes. “please, let me in.”
after a long pause, jake finally nodded, his shoulders slumping as he exhaled deeply. “I’ll try. I promise.”
with open communication, the two of you began to navigate the rough patches together. slowly, jake opened up about his fears, his insecurities, and the pressure he felt to succeed. you listened, providing support and encouragement without judgment.
one sunny afternoon, while sitting in the park, jake surprised you with a small gift: a handwritten song. “it’s not perfect, but it’s for you,” he said, handing it over with a shy smile.
as you read the lyrics, your heart swelled with emotion. it spoke of love, vulnerability, and the beauty of sharing one’s soul with someone.
“jake, this is beautiful!” you exclaimed, feeling the tears of joy spill down your cheeks. “I love it!”
he grinned, the warmth of his smile lighting up your world. “I wanted to create something that captured how I feel about you.”
with renewed determination, you both decided to work on a song together for the talent show. you spent countless hours crafting the melody, laughter spilling from your lips as you struggled to hit the right notes, your bond growing stronger with each chord played.
on the night of the talent show, excitement filled the air as students and teachers gathered, eager to witness the performances. as you and jake took the stage, the world outside faded away. the moment felt surreal; the spotlight was bright, but the connection between you two was brighter.
you exchanged glances, and he nodded, a silent promise of support. as the music began, you poured your hearts into the performance, each note resonating with passion and emotion. the audience was captivated, swept away by the magic you created together.
when the final chord rang out, the room erupted in applause, and you could hardly believe the joy that filled your heart. jake turned to you, eyes wide with disbelief. “we did it!”
you laughed, breathless, and pulled him into a tight embrace. “that was incredible!”
as you stepped off the stage, adrenaline coursing through your veins, you realized how far you had come together. the challenges only deepened your connection, forging a bond that felt unbreakable.
in the weeks that followed, your relationship continued to grow, solidified by the trust you had built. you faced challenges together, celebrating victories and comforting each other in moments of doubt.
jake often played the song you wrote together, filling your days with music that felt like a promise of forever. “I can’t imagine my life without you,” he said one evening, strumming softly in the dim light of the music room.
“and I can’t imagine my life without your music,” you replied, a smile lighting up your face. “It’s our melody now.”
as graduation approached, the future felt uncertain yet thrilling. “whatever happens, we’ll face it together,” jake vowed, his eyes filled with determination.
“together,” you echoed, heart swelling with love. with each note you played, each lyric you sang, you knew that no matter where life took you, your hearts would always be in tune.
if u liked this , pls reblog and like since its hard to make my work known . i hope u enjoyed this !
#lobveyun#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen soft thoughts#jake#jake x reader#jake soft thoughts#jake imagines#enha fluff#jake fluff#kpop
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day 86
do any of yall ever have like. an Evil infodump? where instead of endlessly word vomiting about a thing you love and are very informed about, there is a thing you are equally well-informed about but hate with a passion that you cannot hold back in conversation?
i do :')
(I'll put it under the cut for the curious because I think it's important and i cannot be stopped but also i'm not kidding the facts are infuriating)
SO. "Homeopathic" is often interpreted as sort of a vague synonym for "natural," or "organic," but it's actually related to a system of alternative medicine that means something Very Specific.
There are two main principles behind the practice of Homeopathy.
"Like cures like." This is the idea that, for example, if you have a headache, taking a veeeery small amount of a substance that is known to CAUSE headaches will cure that symptom. I understand where people fall into this flawed idea, as it sounds very similar to the principles behind, say, vaccines, or antivenom. But it isn't universally applicable in this way. An herb isn't a virus. But even if it was, a Homeopathic preparation of that herb would not have any effect on the body because of the second principle.
"Water has memory." This is the idea that water is able to "remember" any substance that it has had contact with. This is also not true. Molecules don't really have any way to store information like that, and even if they did, well... What would that information do inside our bodies? Would our cells have any way to interpret and process that information? What would they do with it? It's all rather nebulous and it seems like more of a spiritual claim than a scientific one. Which is fine, but is not medicine.
So, with these principles in mind, the process of creating a "Homeopathic Preparation of [insert substance here]" goes a little something like this: You take a dropper and put one drop of your active substance in a container with a hundred drops of water. You then take a drop of that mixture, and put it in another container with another hundred drops of water. You continue this dilution process until there is, quite literally, a near-zero percent chance that your mixture contains even a single molecule of your original active substance (depending on the level of dilution believed to be best for the substance in question. Typically, a higher dilution is considered more potent.) So it is, by this point, literally just a vial of water.
This vial of water is what is then sold as a "Homeopathic preparation of [substance]." OR that water is used to compound a batch of sugar pills, or gel capsules, or tablets, whatever format is being offered. Regardless, the composition of the tincture is literally just water and ~*vibes*~.
And they sell these vials of expensive vibe water! At!!!
THE PHARMACY!!! WITH LIKE THE IBUPROFEN AND ALL THE OTHER REAL MEDICINES!!! AND NO BIG WARNING LABELS THAT SAY, "THIS CONTAINS NO ACTIVE INGREDIENTS AND IS BASED ON VIBES ALONE," OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!
In fact! In the US they are able to advertise that they have been FDA approved! (FDA approval of dietary supplements is not the same as FDA approval of actual medications. In the context of supplements, approval just means they've proved it won't just kill you straight up, and thus you're allowed to sell it.) And, well. It certainly won't kill you! In fact they often also advertise things like, "It's natural!" and "No harmful side effects!" and "No risk of overdose!" and it's all technically true! BECAUSE IT'S JUST WATER! LIKE I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH HOW IT'S LITERALLY JUST WATER!!!
Anyway. Please keep this in mind the next time you are offered a homeopathic remedy, or see one advertised in the store, or hear your antivaxxer auntie bragging about the fact that her kids all got a "homeopathic" alternative to their MMR shots.
IT'S! JUST! VIBE WATER!!!!
#day 86#year 5#it me#truly very few things get me more heated than this specific concept. i dont know what it is... just.... WOOF.#anyway i didnt bother checking beforehand if there's a homeopathy side of tumblr but i must assume there is. so.#if this showed up in your search results and you would like to argue with me about this. im sorry but you are not my intended audience.#i didnt mean to show up to your party and simply shit on everything.#but also if you spread medical misinformation on my post or get rowdy in my inbox im gonna block ya.
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was serving slutty steve jobs for my presentation on apple today <3
oh my fuckin god she fuckin ded 💤
#can’t draw hearts (or anything for that matter) to save my life#anyways#felt soooo office siren core in this fit#need to buy more clothes of this variety asap#finals week my BELOATHED#but i have no class tmr yippee gonna treat myself to my anxiety meds#tonight <3 LMAOO they make me sleepy so i couldn’t take them for all my all nighter yesterday…. today….. time has lost all meaning#ALSOOO if anyone has curly girl hair tips i am STRUGGLING didn’t know frizzy wasn’t a hair type for the first 20 yrs of my life#apparently indians don’t believe in curly hair#acc quite said my grandma has the MOST gorjus curly hair and she hates it and UGH after finally having this epiphany#*SAD#once i figure this out gonna treat her to the best curly hair spa day bought to her by yours (hers?) truly#sorry for the rambling im amped up on saurrr much caffeine going marginally insane 🤸🏻♂️#if you read all the way to here i love you sm MWAH <333333
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Hi, just wanted to say good job on getting this account back up ❤️❤️❤️ and hope you manage to recover your main tumblr account as well!! ❤️❤️❤️ (my account got suspended a year ago and it was a pain getting it back but hope all works out well with yours in the end!)
Thank you 🥹🥹🥹 🩷🩷🩷 I was so relieved at how quickly they released my sideblogs, I guess it turns out I had a bunch of URLs hoarded from like 13 years ago that I didn’t realize. This is now a violation of tumblr’s guidelines (which is completely fair) but they’ve suspended my main account because of it, and I guess this blog got flagged as spam which is why it was terminated. I’ve deleted all the other URLs though so I’m hoping they’ll release it soon! 🤞
#its so stressful losing access to your account im sorry that you had to go through that as well 😞#let this be a psa to all the tumblr elders who may have dozens of urls from over a decade ago: delete them!!!!!!!#personal#asks#it means so much to me honestly that people even noticed i was gone 🥲#its definitely made me feel so grateful for the community weve created im this fandom#i know there can be a lot of conflicting heated options but i truly love everyone in this fandom so much and am so appreciative for it 🩷
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Thinking abt that catradora ‘While You Were Sleeping’ AU fic I read that was so good it got me to watch the movie only for it to feel exactly like when you watch a movie based off a book you read and feel incredibly disappointed even though the fic clearly didn’t come first ??
#while you were sleeping#IM SO SORRY ITS JUST AJDHDJ#Them being childhood friends who fell out it makes so much more sense to not trust her when she’s apparently dating a family member#In the movie he truly is a random guy who can’t help falling in love with his comatosed brother’s fiance?#like#ok it’s romcom logic but in that fic it makes SENSE#they have BAGGAGE#Of course they fall in love they always have been !!#also the fact that Adora’s adopted adds so much to her wanting to take over the family business#she truly feels like she owes it to the family for having given her a home#and in the movie the guy just wants to make furniture which is valid but yk#ALSO THE SNOWGLOBE THING#Like in the fic there was so much baggage with it because ever since they were kids catra dreamed of going to disneyland#and Adora knows this#SO THIS MEANS SO MUCH#ofc it meant a lot to Lucy since her dad died and she wanted a stamp on her passport and stuff but like#also you just met this guy lowkey#which kinda brings me to isn’t it kind of weird he’s immediately proposing to her#like don’t get me wrong it IS sandra bullock but like#this woman did pretend to be your comatosed brothers’ fíance so like under what pretenses do you actually love her#my post#Sandra Bullock was adorable though I did love her#catradora#fic#it was so good my god#catradora fic
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You know i used to have these surges of art coming through my hands at night. They're back, these surges. And i love Klogg can you tell
1st pic almost quotes Bible cuz you know, TenNapel himself said the Neverhood story is biblical in nature so yeah it comes naturally
2nd is Hoborg's humanized design through years (he hasn't really changed between '21 and today)
3d pic says "there are things i will never forgive myself for" and it echoes the headcanon that Hoborg had great guilt for what Klogg had become bcuz of the crown and was actually terrified of seeing and touching him
4th pic is abt this story i composed a couple of years ago, in short it's the segment where Klaymen and Klogg had to fight Some Guys and Klay obtained a blaster a while ago. yeah and Klogg had a blast using a spear which promptly broke after a dozen of hits
6th pic references the latest askblog post (and psst is the short summary of where they're gonna be heading next)
#neverhood#humanization#moroderdraws#klogg#hoborg#klaymen#one of the things im really happy about is kloggs human design. i mean#back in 2012 when i created it he was already perfect#i only had to change a couple of things to suit my current style and thats it#truly means something haha#im glad he stayed with me thru these years. neverhood truly is the source of my autism power#not srs im not diagnosed with autism. its just that undying thing inside your soul that keeps supporting you#and it often happens that thinking and making art abt neverhood brings me out of a hole i myself dug and fell into#like it did now. i was in a major crisis for the last 3 months or so#and im coming back to art. back to frequent drawing because god knows i needed it#i feel alive. thank you fandoms for being there.#aight sorry for a vent dump im just being emotional over things ive loved for over a decade haha#hope yall feeling good atm!
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obsessed with the idea of the doctor and the master standing together in opposition to gallifrey post-end of time. less in it being the reality of the situation, and more in it being what the master perceives it to be in the immediate aftermath of being. well. told he was going to be disposed of. the combination of that rejection with the doctor choosing him, the way that sets them up with a common enemy. but where that enemy for the master becomes gallifrey in the abstract with the council as the face of it, the doctor never sees it that way, never thinks of it as the two of them against their own world. the doctor, crucially, kept count of the children. when he saves gallifrey, it isn’t about the master at all, not to anyone but the master themself. because how are they supposed to take the doctor choosing gallifrey over them as anything other than a betrayal.
#the master and his stupid warped sense of importance to both the doctor’s choices and the universe as a whole#which is. well. i mean he’s not alone in that. the doctor has the same ideas about himself in relation to the master. and the universe.#only the universe obviously sometimes validates him because this is a story. about him.#but my point is. the master wanting gallifrey to burn post-end of time. setting up the hybrid prophecy as missy. makes sense to me. it does.#i just wish there was more. conflict to it. more to lash out at the doctor with because the master is choosing him so *why* isn’t he#choosing the master back. why is he trying to stop the hybrid plans. this is what they’re meant to *do*. this is what being on the same side#*means*. that there must be an opposition and that opposition must be gallifrey as a whole. because in that most crucial moment the master#got hurt. and time echoed back because of what the council did to make it so he’d been hurting his entire life. just so they could use him.#you get it? you get it. my fucked up raccoon of a man she has so many issues.#it’s just such a fascinating concept to me because that is still *gallifrey*. that’s still his home. the master is not heartless.#when he tries to connect with the doctor he does it to references to gallifrey’s physical features. this is a place he mourned you know?#in his way. so. you know. how do you look at your home and want it to burn right? how far do things have to escalate that you’d rather it be#ash than a place to go back to. and how do you deal with pushing forward with this plan. when you thought you wouldn’t have to push it alone#like for one minute there they were really truly on the same side. their own side. and then they weren’t. and no one told the master that#they weren’t anymore until she got punched in the head by that knowledge. you know?#rambling again im so sorry#doctor who#thoschei#the doctor#the master
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anyway, i think my hot take regarding the whole canon vs fanon thing for the dpxdc fandom is that fanon is fine but it also gets boring. there's a reason why 90% of the dpxdc creative content feels exactly the same. i'm not trying to like,, shit on anyone's work, but so many of these fics are very, very similar in plot and dynamics. and that's a product of the fact that most of the fandom doesn't actually know anything about dc.
if you're relying solely on fandom osmosis to learn about the characters and events, then you end up missing out on a lot. it's not Bad, but it's basically the footnotes. the sparknotes. the starred review compared to the actual book. you aren't getting a lot, is what i'm saying. and that's why so much of the content feels exactly the same! it's because everyone is getting their info from the same decade old jokes. so creative work ends up blending into each other because the creators don't actually have anything else to work with (because they don't Know anything else) so they rely on the same five fanon jokes and headcanons that they do know.
as a dc fan, i Do encourage dpxdc fans to look into dc and read the comics and be more active on the dc side of things, not because fanon is inherently Bad, but because it opens up so many more avenues for creativity. i'd love to see people talk about danny fighting evil vampire nightwing or going on missions with karen or having fun with kara. but most dp fans don't even know characters outside of the most popular 10 and know even less about any of the plots or universes. so like, it's not exactly a surprise that every fic sounds the same. and like. does that not get boring to you guys?
#i'm sorry ik some of this sounds mean but its true aldghk#its not a bad thing but it is a noticeable thing#and im sure there are plenty of dp fans who are still having fun and dont mind this#but im sure there are also some dp fans who'd also like some variety#and that variety could be there! if you guys knew more about dc#there are so many characters! so many universes! so much you can do!#stop fighting about canon vs fanon and have fun with how much dc content there is!!#you don't have to read Everything but it definitely helps to read Some things#you'll get more ideas! more aus! more headcanons! more over the top jokes!#dc has SO much content for you to explore!!! why wouldnt you want to take advantage of that?#like you'll literally never run out of content to explore because there's just So much and they keep making more of it#even old forgotten characters get brought back every now and then#like! have fun with the canon that's there! and you'll be able to have more fun with your fanon!!!#dcxdp#im sorry but i really dont think ill ever be able to understand Why dp fans dont want to engage with canon dc content#its weird to me it truly is and i dont think anyone will change my mind honestly#ive seen all the replies and vague posts about it but it usually just amounts to#'we dont care about canon and we just want to have fun' which like. yeah. sure. but like..#are you saying you would have Less fun if you knew more about dc?#like..#if you genuinely like these characters then you would like their runs?? 😭 huh ???#it doesnt make sense to me! i dont get it! if you like them why would you have less fun reading about them!!#what!!#anyway yeah my hot take is that you should engage with the source material because it actually makes things More fun#why have dp fans convinced themselves that theyll hate dc canon i dont get it#its like reverse stockholm syndrome
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i absolutely do not vibe at all with any red hood steph concept ive ever seen because fucking nobody engages with it in any depth its just 🤔🤔 steph is basically the same as jason right? people who dont like jason online say so so it must be true~
like i need you first of all to walk back several steps and understand two major things about utrh and stephanie brown here. the first is that steph got into crime fighting in the first place bc she wanted to ~spoil~ the crimes of her c-list supervillain father. the second is that the core of the tragedy of the red hood is that batman is supposed to be his fucking dad.
so if you do want to do a red hood stephie concept here which. to be clear is not something i am INHERENTLY opposed to. you have a couple options to make it potentially coherent but you need to actually be deliberate and clear about what youre trying to do with that concept. you need to step away from jasons tragedy and look at hers and figure out where exactly her anger and hurt are coming from and who exactly theyre directed at, as well as what specifically in your au concept it would be so different than the canon one where when she comes back she wants to do pretty much the opposite of what jason wanted when *he* came back.
and. crucially. if the difference is the relationship she has to bruce being different you actually do need to show not tell that dude. im sorry but if you just *tell* me that in your universe that steph has a more deep and meaningful relationship to bruce i 100% always am like "ill believe it when i fucking see it". like, she has parents of her own and while that doesnt preclude having a more signficant relationship with bruce (see: timmy)... you really do have to do the legwork or it looks like youre just writing them out and asking us to take your word for it that Of Course steph wants bruce to adopt her, hes batman! gag, retch, spew. do notdo this.
FRANKLY in a reverse robins concept i vibe way more with steph as red robin than anything specifically her getting the dumpster costume from whoever you do put in the red hood role. (frankly x2 i still think if they really truly had to do the storyline they did in canon where shes still trying to do bruces dirty work for him and hires assassins to kill tim to ~make him better~ lmao she should have been the one who wore the Bad Robin uniform before tim got it instead of fuckin ulysses i just think it would have been more coherent and also funner for me personally)
anyway if you link me a red hood steph concept here and it sucks or does any of the things i Just finished critiquing i will be very irritated and i will not be polite to you about it. just as a fair warning.
#still kind of mad about this one time the topic came up and someone linked me a rh steph bc 'shes so sexy in it'#i was like bestie does the term gay man mean anything to you. and they were like#'oh sorry im asexual so i forgot that when some people say sexy it means they want to Fuck them'#...#like can you walk me through any of your logic here. why sexy was the adjective you used in the first place instead of like#'interesting'. 'compelling.' 'charismatic' even#why are you acting like im the weird one for assuming you meant attractive or swoonworthy being the main draw of the character.#why am i supposdly the one who made it about whether or not *either of us* wants to fuckthe fictional character. i wasnt even thinking that#i truly madly deeply did not assume anything more than that you meant attractive when you said attractive#lmfao.#this wasnt even the only time that shit has happened to me. please do not do this.#i would love to say with confidence 'you wouldnt say shit like that to a lesbian about sexy men' but frankly i do have a sinking feeling+#that they would#whatever. none of that was the fucking point#the point is jasons evil era doesnt work if u just copypaste it on steph shes a totally different character the context is totally differen#text#dc#steph text
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i need to stop talking to straight people or for straight people to stop talking to me fnsdfkd
#like idk am i mean#i don't like talking about guys djksnfk#like i truly i'm so bored i can't handle it#i need my friends to stop showing me pictures of the dudes they're dating and i have to pretend they're hot#or they tell me like#they have 1 thing in common with the guy and i have to be like omg incredible !!#or that like the guy wasn't a complete asshole and i have to be like woww he sounds so dreamy#like fr tell me am i being mean? nsdkf i am not interested at all#i'm sure he's gonna end up being a jerk like they all do#and then im gonna have to be like omg yeah he was a jerk you deserve better!!#and that's just always the cycle and it never ends#like is it mean that i'm just really bored#can you just talk about it with your straight friends jdfjk#idk like im just not interested at all#sorry i had to rant djsfnds#shut up laura
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I will not regret having loved.
I don't mean I won't be sad, and my heart won't ache over connections I've lost.
I don't mean I always forgive people who have betrayed my trust and hurt me.
I don't mean I haven't loved the wrong person before.
I mean, the day I regret having felt love at all is the day I fear I will truly lose myself in every way that matters.
Even if I no longer hold any love for someone, I can not regret having felt it in the first place.
Why on earth should I regret the part of me that loves when it is my favorite thing about myself? Why should I shame myself for feeling the very same thing that allows me to have friends to hug and laugh with and milestones to celebrate?
I refuse to feel at fault for having felt something so beautiful and untouchable as love. I can not with good conscience condemn the version of me that loved when I didn't know why I shouldn't have. I will not punish myself over having found something worth loving, even for only a few seconds.
So I will weep for the connections I've lost, and I will do so proudly.
I will scream and cuss and cry at and about the people who have hurt me, and I will do so proudly.
I will laugh and hug and celebrate the people in my life, and I will do so proudly.
I will do these things with all the love I've ever felt etched into my heart, and I will do so proudly.
#fuck#yeah#anyway#ignore this#I'm just rambling#if anyone thinks this is stemming from a breakup im so sorry#but its absolutely not#this post is about the friends and family i have loved and even still love throughout my life#i cannot stress enough how much love as an emotion means to me#familial love#platonic love#romantic love#even the love you feel for that random person you saw give their dog kisses in their car at a gas station#please understand#it is essential for me to love#if I regret the love I ever felt for every person who has hurt me I dont think I'd be able to love the people who haven’t quite the same#i love my brother and even though he never wanted me as a sister when we were kids i dont regret loving him then#and even though he sucks a lot and used to suck even more in the past I still don't regret loving him now#he can't take that away from me.#no one can#mitski is this what you meant#when you said your love was yours and only yours?#because my love really truly is just mine alone
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#i mean in the nicest way possible#but like when you're in med school you truly have to have your priorities straight#bc otherwise you're going to end up doing just mediocre#and like#who wants a mediocre doctor to help them#there's some shit you have to sacrifice sometimes#sometimes its spending time doing things you like sometimes its asking for help with your responsibilities#sometimes its knowing you're gonna get an hour or two of sleep bc you have to finish doing everything you have to do#and if you're not gonna learn how to prioritize and be responsible idk if there's a point 😭#like im sorry#ik mental health is incredibly important more than anyone else#but we're training to be people who will literally have to save someones from dying at one point#us being late or us not studying or us not knowing something can literally kill someone#i just#ugh#it pisses me off how some actual friends dont take this seriously#and like oh im sleepy bc ive been doing other stuff all day im not gonna study i think#LIKE BROTHER IN CHRIST#and the worst part is like#i feel so bad saying this but we should be taking 5 classes each semester so we can get to intern year#this person is taking only 3#like bro we've literally had exam after exam every day this week#we're exhausted too#we just gotta suck it up
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hey there, I umm.. I wanted to say you're like, very cute n, uhm, your blog really is a reason to smile cuz it feels fluffy n warm like, safe place™ y'know? I like that you respond to like, all the tasks being super super nice to ppl n I really hope you find a gf soon cuz you deserve the best from life for making so many ppl feel home in your blog🔅💙
Plus, you'd totally be my kind of girl 20'000%
(in the most respectful way possible I wanted it to be a compliment but I'm scared to sound wierd or bad if that's so I promise I didn't meant it)
Agsjfkgl thank you🥺😭❤️❤️ this is very sweet😭❤️, I’ve had a few people say it but i get so so happy when i hear that my blog is just a nice place to be for some people like I’m just so happy people find this to be a nice space in that way <3!!
And noo!! That’s not weird that’s very sweet of you to say!! Honestly i’m a little bad about figuring out how other people perceive me so i still get really surprised and excited to hear that my blog or me comes off as nice or as someone people would like to be around, i think most people find that a very reassuring thing to hear so thank you❤️❤️
#asks#idk if that makes sense im sorry im so bad at accepting compliments#but to summarize not weird!! very sweet!! made me smile!!#can anyone tell i haven’t been told that sort of thing much lol??#anyway im happy you like it here <3!!#i am mentally sending you lots of your favorite things and i really truly hope your days are easy on you#🌕 <- lil full moon for you because she means everything to me😌
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moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love
#i mean if the alternative is whatever the fuck is going on with my best friend rn then hooooo boy#cancelling therapy immediately i never want to change i wanna keep my trust issues forever and ever if its gonna save me from THIS#is he a dick? kinda. yeah. and a coward because if dude was sure he didnt want it since AUGUST and didnt have the guts to end it till now#actually he didnt end it. she was the one who finally snapped. but we seriously fought twice before because she just woudlnt listen#when i said that girl this isnt gonna work and you trust him too much and you're attachment styles are incompatible as hell#your*#but nvm. the least you could do when a 7 years younger girl who's clearly obsessed with you is breaking up with you#cause she just cant take it anymore. and you can see she's still in love with you because you've been lying to her for half a year.#imo the least you could do at that point is just. dont tell her that jfc. just say you're sorry it didnt work out etc etc#dont fucking tell her you stopped being in love with her in fucking august#and just 'didnt know how to end it' and lied when she asked if everything's alright#like my god. yes ig this would never have happened if she hadn't trusted him so completely and expected love to fix her whole life#but jesus dude. she's not even 23 she has a right to be naive. you're almost 30. you DONT get to be a man child anymore#christ. okay.#anyway i wish i could help her but telling her to 'trust less' and 'never truly rely on other people' sounds horrible and cringe and edgy af#but i genuinely dont have any other advice#like babygirl im sorry but your bestie is a piece of human garbage and she's doing the best she can but her best is Not Much alas
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the thing thats always missing in conversations about gender in general is the fact that 'cis', as an identity, is not a innate Thing Some People Are, but rather a state of acceptance society grooms us into from birth
#im sorry but no one is inherently 'cis' bc gender is inherently not real (saying this in cool trans way not transphobe way).#being 'cis' just means you live as the gender youve been assigned. being 'genuinely' cis in a way where youre not repressing anything and#you're truly happy to be that way means you're the ideal and desired endgame of the whole gendered culture and have been successfully#groomed into accepting only half of yourself (the half that can exist in the gender role you inhabit)#Like every culture agrees that people have both 'masculine' and 'feminine' within them but on entry to the earth the vast majority of peopl#are placed within a role that rewards either 'masculine' or 'feminine' but not both. and of course everyone continues to be both but#theyve still been placed in one role.#To be honest i think we need to rid ourselves of the idea of gender as something innate even though its nice to teach to well-meaning#liberal cis people. 'born this way' dogma was a useful vehicle to pitch existence in but its unhelpful when queer people actually act like#its the whole truth and nothing but the truth.#dont get me wrong i couldnt be a girl cause i self destructed and died and that was just something within me. totally that is a thing 100%.#hashtag born this way. but just because it doesnt go that far for some people doesnt mean that theyre Innately Cis. it means they accept#their circumstance and r priviledged to be able to do so. thats what cis means#to be clear: i say being cis is the result of grooming. thats not to say that people who reject cisness are smarter or more radical#necessarily or doing the right thing. some people stay cis and push the boundaries of that role wherever possible and thats just as radical#i think in fact its more radical than trans people who ruthlessly uphold gender roles#tldr its not a moral failure to identify with ur assigned gender and to argue that would be incredibly ridiculous#but the only reason u feel identification with it at all is because of the grooming. shrug emoji.#oliver talks#gender#gender abolition#gender assignment is grooming & its violence & its awful#ted talk over#Disclaimer if anyone wants to pick a fight that i do literally identify as trans so take of that what you will
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You know. Sorry for another sporadic unprompted post about that friend who has caused me so much trauma in the past year. But I remember this one time his old high school friend I met once, he's really nice I liked him a lot. Cool guy. But he lives far away so they don't meet up a lot but they text. One time he sent this friend some pictures of us that were taken at a cooking class that he'd been bothering me into going to despite that it was all the way in Boston, there was a lot of walking to get to it, etc. And I was like constantly feeling sick and run down and exhausted from having Covid recently. He texted his friends those pictures of the two of us and his friend asked "Are you and Diana dating lol" like pretty innocently but honestly curious.
And he just replied "Are you fucking high" and he showed me and told me about it. Like. Like it was uncomfortable for HIM to be asked that.
Like his response isn't SUPER INSULTING TO ME.
#and also just really fucking mean to that friend. like???? WHO TALKS LIKE THAT TO SOMEONE#his friend was like 'oh lol sorry. but itd be cute if you were' like why make him ashamed of asking a normal ass question???#the way this guy was possessive over me and entitled to my constant attention youd THINK he was my fucking boyfriend#this anecdote is actually a good example of how even if you just do smth completely normal (in this case asking a question)#but he doesn't like it he'll just turn it on you and make you feel wrong or crazy. FOR NOTHING#he doesn't reflect at all on the insulting unthinking ways he treats ppl either. why would he? he's always right#and if he's ever not right it's always someone else's fault somehow.#that's why i can't bring up any of this shit to him. his response is always 'well you couldve just told me' but no#NO ONE CAN TELL YOU ANYTHING BC YOUR ANGER AND EMOTIONS ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S RESPONSIBILITY!!!#motherfucker has no idea what the word imposing means#tales from diana#i truly loathe this little boy bitch baby#'are you fucking high' it's funny bc that makes it sound like he'd never be attracted to me#it's very likely he was. i hate to be like this but im not FUCKING UGLY AND HATED BY EVERYONE?? UNLOVABLE???#im found attractive by ppl pretty often and im not offended by it.#but hed get so weird whenever someone expressed interest in me#one time he humiliated this guy i barely knew by telling him he knew that guy asked me out for valentine's day.#the fuck???? why are you making that guy explain it to you??? it wasn't WEIRD. i just said no you FREAK#makes human beings feel ashamed of human emotions bc he doesn't have any of his own.
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