#im so exhausted from my school work | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

phopollo · 7 months ago

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Fuck it, we ball

Reply, reblog, go to my inbox, do whatever

Just send me some characters from any piece of media, whether you think I may know them or not, and I'll (try to) use them in a character design challenge of making a new character using only traits anf features (color palettes included) from existing characters from published media

Did this over on Twitter in January of last year and it was a lot of fun

#you can send images or just tell me their name and what their from #ill try to tag yall who send me characters when i post the final one #im so exhausted from my school work #i just need to do something silly and one off-ish to destress #character design challenge #character design #text post

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ink-the-artist · 8 months ago

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forgive me if you've been asked this before or if its annoying, but how did you learn to use colored pencils like that? your art is so special to me.

ty :) I took an art class for a few years where our teacher had us buy prismacolor pencils as one of the art supplies and had us use them kinda like paints, pressing down hard right away and blending the colors together. its not how youre supposed to use them she was just trying to teach us to use color and ig this was more to the point. I picked them up again years after i stopped going to that class just bc they were there and i wanted to play around w them a bit and ended up actually enjoying it when doing it on my own terms lol

#it was a weird class #it was just this russian lady doing private lessons in her house that my mom learned about somehow #I did NOT like those classes all we did was still life and they were hours long which is esp rough when im in high school and busy #and she wanted us to stand while working the whole time bc tradition i guess?#she did allow me to work sitting but thought i was lazy for it. idk dude i dont want to exhaust myself fast for no reason #standing is a lot more tiring than walking #i def did still benefit from those classes just from learning to accurately draw from life #did not like the teacher tho #on one hand shed paid for the art supplies for kids whos families were too poor to (and these are nice expensive supplies)#which is very nice #but on the other she was very homophobic and open about it #like when they legalized gay marriage she went on a rant about how horrible it is that they can adopt kids now #and also kind of racist #she was telling me how she got blocked from a facebook group bc she made a post asking if she could speak to a white person #and she didnt realize she was posting that publicly she thought it was a private message to the group owner #im honestly still not sure i heard/understood her correctly bc it was so bizzare and the only time i ever remember her being racist #she talked abt it like she genuienly was unaware it was racist #she described it as a misunderstanding bc she accidentally posted it publicly instead of privately #like it wouldnt have been racist to ask that at all #also one time she talked about how she saw demons in her home once #also she doesnt vaccinate her kids bc of microchips #she was like a walking russian stereotype lol #anyway heres some ink the artist lore

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rileys-battlecats · 6 months ago

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i really gotta get better about listening to my own brain and needs when i'm making things. i've been working on a video and i'm almost finished (yippee!!), but drawing this One Specific Frame was giving me trouble. i could have just brute-forced my way through it and finalized the initial sketch, since it was relatively good enough. but instead i left it and took a day off from working on the project, let myself recharge, and came back to the sketch with fresh eyes today. and what do you know, my redrawn sketch today is WAY better! now, i can finalize that frame and be genuinely proud of it, instead of just powering through on something i was less than happy with.

i hadn't done any other art stuff that day when i couldn't get my sketches to look right, so letting myself stop and have a break from the project felt sort of "unearned" i guess. but it's just. what i needed! and the break did what i needed it to do; i was able to come back later and make something i could be proud of.

anyway i guess this is me saying that, if you're like me and have this weird morality-complex about letting yourself rest, it's ok to take breaks, even if you feel like you haven't "earned" one yet :)

#rye.txt #growing up i got very accustomed to ignoring my own needs and just 'powering through' when i wanted/needed to get something done #which worked out relatively ok for me in school (banging my head against a wall until my brain absorbed information leading to exhaustion)#but now that im doing work that is ostensibly for my own enjoyment #i have a hard time divorcing myself from that mindset #i feel guilty if im not constantly working #which is. not great! so im trying to unlearn that #trying to let myself think 'ok my brain isn't brain-ing right now. so i should stop and rest/do something else'#my actual job is Very Emotionally Draining so sometimes i just. can't find the energy to work on my art #which sucks!! cause i love making art!! and then i think to myself 'maybe making art will make you feel better'#but then when i try it's like scraping the bottom of a dry well. trying to find water #when what i need to do is rest and let the water well up from the ground itself #but resting is HARD when you tie your self-worth to how much you can work #ough ok this got a little vent-y sorry guys #I don't want to let myself fall into the 'content creation' mindset. cause I don't think i make 'content' i make ART #and art isn't something you can just pump out mindlessly #good art. art that i can be PROUD of. that takes time and intent and energy. and I can't make that if im just scraping the bottom of a well #vent in tags #this whole post is just 'riley vs the concept that taking breaks is a moral failing'

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bunnihearted · 5 months ago

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#im in such a bad and low mood :<#it's not just my period hormones 🥴#my wireless headphones worked fine all of yesterday and today when i wake up they're blinking #they're liked fucked up... i turn them off but they constantly turn themselves back on. when i connect them to my ipad they constantly #keep disconnecting and shutting off and turning on 🙃 it makes me so angry bc i need to wear them basically all the time #bc all the noise from neighbors and my family and outside is driving me crazy #but they just dont work anymore?? plus i cant afford new ones... esp now which brings me to my next point #bc of my mom having troubles w school and loans and work etc she was like yeah u guys might have to pay for me this summer so we'll be #proper poor 😄 she doesnt WANT that either but it just sucks bc i got $300 every month and i can barely afford anything as is #yeah so there is no chance of me buying new headphones until at least august or september ......#then im annoyed bc my sisters are passive aggressive 24/7 and hate my existence and my mom is depressed lol #and i have no one to talk to or be with. it's summer and i wanna do stuff but i just dont wanna do it alone lmao #and then im just sad bc of many things.....#also i hate myself bc im a loser failure piece of shit but like yeah that's normal for me to feel #i just hate everything and it's so hard to endure this lame ass existence skskskskks #why cant ANYTHING be good ever in my life??#i am garbage and im surrounded by bad things lmao... anyways can i just stop breathing now pls #and it's not just a 'tiny' thing like my headphones not working like it might seem to others #but when u live a life where NOTHING is good or NOTHING works everything just piles on #ppl dont seem to understand that normally bc most ppl have some good things in their lives #so they just cannot comprehend what it's like when nothing works on any level in your life lok #ofc im depressed ofc im angry and bitter and dejected. i have no good things or moments at all in my life. that tears u down #i mean ofc i could be living in an active warzone and that'd be .. pretty awful i can imagine. but yeah... my situation is still not ideal #like i mean i do actually try to practice gratitude of having a roof over my head my own room water in the pipes and food so i dont starve #i am thankful for that bc many ppl dont even have that #i still feel depressed tho <3 #idk what im talking abt now i just feel SO bad and i have no one to talk to #i have nothing to do... no help no treatment... everyone hates me and wants me dead......#why should i fight when no one cares abt me anyway... well.. i mean i do wanna experience more nature but like idk #im just so exhausted... why cant i ever have smth good in my life that also dont go away after a short while lol

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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 8 months ago

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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more #I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s #the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything #that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da #lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how #get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to #and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not #be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much #of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in #bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it #into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it #but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted #any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself #not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha #usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day #because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere #I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s #just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway #this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this #bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school #vent tw #yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely #disability #chronically ill #i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho #i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to #anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse #I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours #I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework

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deus-ex-mona · 12 days ago

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have y’all been streaming kimikawaii~~?

#silly little edit from a few days back that i made while skipping a dinner with the extended family lmao #the rest of the mona cds (aside from the one in her hands) s t a y e d in bc fansa shichauzo yk #i miss mona… i w a s thinking about tling at least a few pages of idol sengen tomorrow (since it’s a holiday)#then i received the handover (of job tasks) that im apparently supposed to do on friday and. lol. byebye idol sengen…#man. im not even formally trained for like half of friday’s tasks… but o h w e l l.#as an aside: im not so secretly envious of the dude who joined at the same time as me. he seems to be vibing pretty well over ‘ere.#he even said that working is ‘like being in a school lab’ with the furnace being the most dangerous thing he has to use #but if this guy’s having so much fun w h y do i have to handle concentrated acids every day???? aaaaaaaa this isnt fairrrr #though. here’s a psa for all ye acid handlers out there: always make sure the exhaust of your fumehood/fume cupboard is switched on #aka ‘i thought that id be fine using the fumehood with the exhaust off bc i was just gonna pour 2 acids. then i saw the fumes.’#i dont think i’ll forget the sight of the white vapours wafting off my concentrated hydrochloric acid for at least 3 days…#um. well. that’s enough about work tales™️. anyway!!!! stream kimikawaii!!!!!#so glad kimikawaii mv dropped last week frrr it saved my life (exaggeration)#i even recalled my childhood friend(?) of sorts thanks to it even though i haven’t thought about him in years… wonder how he’s doing though…#aaaaand yup. that’s it from me~~~~ stream kimikawaii and manifest ckun mv for soon™️!!!! that’s all gn guys~~~~

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rickety-house · 19 days ago

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guiiwgghauaiauagguaiaghjjghjjjhhhh

this didn’t fit in the hashtags but donr rb or comment I’m just screaming to myself atm I’ll probably delete this shit tomorrow goodnigjt fuck everything live vs kill

#vent because I’m going fucking insane #so I got a weekend job right #Yay! So fun! money!#but now I have absolutely no fucking free time #and I hate it cause all I want to do is draw #I just want to draw #Just a little bit #All I want in life is to draw #but I don’t have the time #and I feel like im going to die on the floor #cause I wanna draw so badly!!!!!!!#like it’s actually such a pain and I feel so overwhelmed and I just want to cry like a big baby about it #I would draw more but the thing is it takes me so long to get home from school #and I have to walk a dog after school sometimes #and then I don’t have a lot of time before I eat dinner #then I do my chores which isn’t a lot but I still don’t want to do them #and it just #UGH #I can’t draw inbetween like getting home and supper because I need time to recharge cause if I don’t recharge I’ll get artblocm and then #not want to draw at all which I don’t want #So I don’t get time to draw cause im either occupied with something or im recharging after doing an activity #and I just feel so stuck!!!! Cause now I work a 9-5 and I hate it cause im so tired after work!!!!!!!!!!!!#I also think im just scared cause im actually growing up now and im feeling more exhausted than ever #like I want to do stuff with my friends #I wanna have fun #I want to do things #this is why I love summer because despite the heat and the bugs I have time to myself #I rarely have time to myself if any when im in school #and I HATE ITTTTT #I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH

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an--artistic--autistic · 1 month ago

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part of me really loves having friends and being in a community, and the other part feels exhausted from interacting with people and wants to ghost everyone and move cities

#maybe i should stop pushing myself to do things every day #also maybe things will feel better as the seasons change #i always have a really hard time over the summer #anyways :)#it's also probably from going from having 0 friends and not interacting with people for several years straight #and immediately going to having dozens of people knowing me and talking to me and asking for help with things because i know what im doing #i love them i love being able to do things and i am drained and exhausted #my work trips really cannot come soon enough #i thought some more about it #the part that's actually stressing me out is people from highschool reappearing in my life against my will #not just into my life in general #but the specific part that i have curated to myself and built community in #i stopped talking to people from highschool for a reason #there's literally only one person I'm in contact with and she went to a different school (i love her she's wonderful and im so proud of her)#it's not even anything bad it's just really weird and uncomfortable for me and part of my brain just wants to cease to exist

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girlblocker · 9 months ago

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hiiii every one... my school schedule is killing me this semester so i will probably not be blogging very much at all for like the foreseeable future

#i just realized that the last time i was online was a full week ago #with my school schedule im doing work sometimes 8am to like 8 or 9 pm and its exhausting #plus i set my tumblr password to 30 random digits that i printed out and stuck on my wall #so that every time i want to log in i have to type them all #which is to deter me from blogging all the time since i need to focus #16 credits + 2 jobs is not the move

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nauticalfools · 2 months ago

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#been stuck in bed for the last 5 days #tried to go outside today #went to a bakery nearby and fell in the middle of the street while crossing it #some people mainy kids going back from school got concerned #they all asked me if im okay #i got up was okay and went back home #and then proceeded to sob because thats the first time in months somebody irl near me cared #my body is aching from the fall #still #and i just realised iv been so exhausted mentally and physically and burnt out i cant function anymore #i thought i would be fine that im just being lazy with the staying in bed #but after my last job fucked me over i think that was the last of any energy i had #honestly ive been crying at least once a day for the last two weeks #usually twice or more times tbh #been crying all day today #i think im just a shell of a human at this point #ive been struggling for the most basic shit in the last 6 months #couldnt find housing still struggling with a job #cant even find a single friend #i keep trying with everything #but its not working #and im beyond exhausted #this new job better treat me like a human and pay me because i dont know if i can take another one of those on #like im unable to do anything make meals take showers you name it #i am absolutely shell of a human #i just want to feel like im able pay for my survival thats all #personal

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iwakuraz · 2 months ago

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it'll all be okay because there's only one more day left in the school week and after that it'll be the weekend. wait no what do you mean after the weekend I'll just have to go back to school? what do you mean the cycle of going to school and coming back home completely worn out is gonna continue?

#mole talks #ive been back in school for..... one week.#im so tired i can't stop feeling tired all of the time now this is horrible #i have to walk around school so much and im forved to be around other people anf its just exhausting #for me school would be better if they removed all social aspects #and all you would have to do is work and you wouldn't have to see other people ever #(apart from the teacher who is teaching you about the subject)#because if theres no forced socialisation that also means....... my classmates would never be ableist towards me again #:[ i can't believe i have to continue going to school #and ill probably have to continue going for many years to come #i hate how much it wares me out. i was si productive during the summer but now im not at all #and i JUST started school. it only gets worse from here #i just wanna learn. i dont want some annoying kid to call me slurs #i dont want to wear a uniform that makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin #i dont wanna walk around the corridors feeling like everybody is staring at me and judging me #i dont want to go home feeling too weak and tired to do anything #i just want to learn stuff #i don't think i even really care about how going to school is good for my future because i don't know whats in the future for me #i just want to learn things in the present #:[#wow i have a lot of homework i need to do. i say i don't mind the work but i haven't finished all of this yet so maybe im just lying #im gonna cry. i dont want to go back to school tomorrow i dont want to be surronded by people who hate what i am #but also i dont want the teachers to infantalise me anymore! im not a kid. im 16. treat me like everybody else im not a kid #why am i crying into the tumblr void again

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the-yearning-astronaut · 10 months ago

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#shouldn't have shoved aside the panic attack that was building last night #when I had to leave work during a massive snow storm #because that overwhelmed feeling carried over into today #and im exhausted and I'm about 2seconds from losing my shit but i cant AGAIN because i have to get ready for work #my shift starts in just over an hour lmao #and i feel like a raging bitch #all snappy and nasty #but really im stretched too thin #and im terrified #of not getting into grad school of this forever being my fuckin life #but also because my health is bad but my brother's is worse and i just watched something terrifying happen to him #(something in his neck temporarily dislocated)#and i just #im so SICK of everything being shitty #im so sick of our shitty medical system and how my brother cant find anyone to take him seriously and actually help him #and i go each day wondering if... if. and i can't handle it. and if i get into grad school I'll be leaving the state...#and if something.....#i know ive put my life on hold for my parents because im afraid of what ifs and my dad's health has ALSO been shit #(i love growing up with a parent that casually says stuff like I Wont Be Alive By Then. or When Im Dead-. all the time.)#and ive been terrified of leaving Just In Case. and every time my brother's health goes bat shit sideways again i freeze and panic #and I don't have TIME to panic or freeze rn but as im well aware the body will make you take a break if you don't make time for one #it's all BS & im tired & lost & i want so BADLY to get into this particular school but i feel Guilty for wanting to leave so fucking badly #idk what to fuckin do #☉#tbd #im gonna cry. or be sick lol. maybe both.

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hauntedwoman · 1 year ago

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almost pulled over on the way to school three times just to cry and think about how fucked everything in my life is rn

#i dont have any money and my job literally cannot schedule me more than one day a week #idk what the fuck im doing in school rn and idk if i want to change my minor or not bc i think id succeed more in creative writing #but i'd have to take a couple extra classes and my parents are already upset that im taking so long to finish school #even tho it was my mom that made me move across the country and go to a new school #so like. obviously there are different graduation requirements here #but my parents dont understand that at all and it's somehow my fault that im taking so long #when i really am not #i'm just trying the best i can while being extremely mentally ill and im just so exhausted #maybe i will take a break from school and actually get a job with a salary #a friend of mine works at a local marketing agency and i could always submit an application #bc i already have an associates in comms and that might be useful

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ilonacho · 1 year ago

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it hit me what makes me the most miserable abt my work week is how it’s just school all over again. just hanging in there until the weekend. repeat. repeat. repeat

#5 outta 7 days im at work. 2 days of freedom #2 days to do chores n run errands n relax n sleep n draw n catch up w/ friends n go places #and if u gotta reschedule itll be weeks before ur available again #like for months now ive tried to get together w/ friends but our days off dont match n shit keeps coming up #not to mention im fucking tired! im exhausted! i want to sleep in and then draw the rest of the day!#i think the worst part is that back in school.. at least it didnt matter as much? because it all led to an end aka graduation?#like i didnt mind the wait for next weekend as much cuz it was temporary #like eventually ill graduate and then ill have freedom! (i thought? for some reason??)#but now its like.. the weeks are going by so fast this year is already almost over i turn 26 in 2 weeks #and this is.. the rest of my life? like youre kidding right? this cant be it?#i get off work n then i have to take care of the cats n chores n then eat dinner n then shower n then its late and i gotta sleep #before work the next day. i dont have time nor energy to rly do anything #and ill get that feeling of like. oh well at least it brings me closer to the next ‘weekend’#but i dont wanna live weekend to weekend #i mean im thankful to have a job n coworkers i love like i truly hate it there sometimes but i also am happy and thankful for it #but yknow.. it shouldnt have to be like this #i worded this so much better in the shower but im tired of feeling like school part 2 like what the fuck man #ive had work every single day since we came back from our trip n i just dont have time/energy for anything #i need to open commissions back up but i havent even gotten around to starting one a friend asked for #not to mention this years christmas card ive barely got the sketch done for #and again. my favourite holiday. halloween is on tuesday and while we did plan halloweeny stuff it just has not felt like halloween #i havent had any ideas/energy/time for any halloweeny art #+chores n errands etc lmao we havent even been to the grocery store yet (calling us out here)#it just. suuuuucks aaaaaass man the world is so beautiful life is a gift i dont wanna spend it like this

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pepprs · 1 year ago

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genuinely so angry and scared im shaking. how many other times this week this month this year have i been exposed without knowing it. do people even tell each other anymore. it’s just so grim. it’s so fucking grim

#purrs #delete later #covid19 #i am fighting for my fucking life every day to stay safe and to keep the people around me some of whom are disabled / chronically ill /#immunocompromised / medically vulnerable safe. i am fucking fighting for my life. it’s already hard that i am usually one of two people in #any given room still wearing a mask let alone an n95 mask. hard and bad enough that we get looks for wearing masks and people think im crazy #for my life still being on hold and for my family still basically never going anywhere. ITS FUCKING WORSE that we are still very much in the #throes of all of it and we are in constant physical and quite frankly EXISTENTIAL danger not only of getting sick / becoming (more)#disabled / literally fucking dying but also returning to the absolute hell of lockdown which while important was psychologically damaging in #ways that are difficult to even articulate. like not only have we as a society decided to not give a shit about unpacking all of that and #healing from the trauma and assuming everyone went through the same thing when we very much did not and to just send everybody back to #school and work because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 but we have ALSO decided to pretend like the freakish unceasing danger just doesn’t exist #anymore and to get rid of every tool we had available to keep us safe or at minimum make people have to pay exorbitant amounts of money to #access them because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 !!!!!!! im TIRED. im so fucking tired of it. i am so fucking exhausted and angry and scared. and i #HAVE the luxury and privilege of being able to afford n95 masks and covid tests and to be able to work a job that i can do remotely if i #need to and to not be disabled or immunocompromised. what makes me fucking furious is we decided to throw all the people who don’t have #that access or privilege under the fucking bus and forget about them lol. but what do you expect from a country rotten to its core the way #it is lol. im fucking despondent. why are we living in an incinerator.#* the lockdown(s) werent just important they were necessary. and arguably we should have another one even though if we do i genuinely fear #for my mental health both during and afterwards and quite frankly before. im tired. i am grateful for the life i live which has resulted in #part from the different things that have happened because of the pandemic but i also so desperately wish this never happened and every day I #think about what life would be like if it hadn’t happened. the grief of it all is unspeakably big.

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theygender · 1 year ago

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*checking the tracking information for my package from under a pile of overpriced teas and vitamins* this next herbal supplement will fix me

#g o d what is up with my brain thats been making everything so hard recently #like. im in a job that im MUCH happier with now and loving it. im no longer living a waking trauma nightmare as a call center sup #...why is my brain acting like im forcing it on a trek through fucking mordor just trying to get through a normal day at work #im on break from school. why am i not able to do any of the things that i wanted to do during the semester but was too busy for #why am i not able to do anything that i want to do and if i DO manage to do it why am i not able to enjoy it #why am i living like every moment of my life in fear that im wasting my time or doing something wrong or not good enough #and like i KNOW the answers are adhd and depression and anxiety #but my buddy. my pal. @ the wrinkly fleshy thing in my skull #im on 6 different psychiatric medications with a total of up to 11 individual pills per day. im actively in therapy and have been for years #and my life is currently much better than it maybe has ever been! WHY am i still struggling so hard 😭#like i know recovery isnt a straight line and etc etc but like. it just feels like im doing everything im 'supposed' to do so what gives #so. gonna start drinking more plants i guess and see if that helps. im already on some that seem to help but i think i need more now #bc im having a bad time in my brain prison tbh :(#im not even like upset typing all this out either im just like. bewildered. incredulous. exhausted #lets hope this new overpriced tea fixes me i guess #rambling

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