#im so autistic over it right now

[javierduffy]

but when they're out on that river bank alone, what javier should be loyal to doesn't feel as confusing anymore

[anxiously-awaiting]

hi his outfit is a fucking MESS rn but <3 bedi alter for your thoughts

[starrysharks]

chapter 1 of reassassination's nearly done script-wise! hopefully the next chapters won't take like 6 months of on-and-off work to complete lol

[86dove]

im so attracted to sarah snook im genuinely on the verge of tears my chest feels tight i feel like im going to die please

[destiny-in-the-universe]

Am I the only one who wants a sort of Spiderverse type plot line for RC9GN? Like- either this is parallel to the ITSV/ATSV movies where, there’s different ninjas and whatnot or it’s an idea similar to one I saw from someone else where it’s different AU’s overlapping and interacting but there is an actual story happening!

Like I don’t have a clear idea for this- and I’m also tacking in yet another verse no one asked for, on top of my other ones, but seriously this idea would be so interesting.

Like you have OG! Randy interacting with the others from different, albeit specific, timelines- OR WE HAVE ACTIAL SPIDER RANDY- like,

God now I have ideas rampaging through my mind and I can’t get enough of them- but seriously I need SOME motivation to finish an idea I already started working on. Please,

RC9GN is taking over my life in the best and worst ways possible

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

i keep starting posts abt death note and then stopping to start a new post about some other death note opinion like fuck i have so much to say. i need to relax genuinely. jts just a vaguely misogynist yaoi anime like i need to remind myself that in a year or even probably a few months something else will feel like its encompassing my entire life an dn literally will not matter to me. i know this to be true because this is how i do everything all the time always but its so unbelievable like. autistic obsession rly does make me a little bit delusional every single time. im always like "well THIS art/story/subject is DIFFERENT and clearly of unique importance and significance compared to that last thing i was obsessed with (an every thing ive been obsessed w ever)" like no matter how much i understand that logically to not be the case i genuinely cant convince myself to actually believe it. like ik this time last year i was just as much if not more obsessed with moomin valley but it just. doesnt feel true like it feels unique and special every time its so strange. death note is a story its pretty good its silly its fun its camp its suspenseful like i can acknowledge these things to be true in a normal way but it is also the most important thing on earth to me right now and i need everyone else to know all of the time. its enormous in my mind its radius expands to so many other Important Things to the extent that whether its actually objectively good or significant i could not tell you right now because it is eclipsing my entire mind. i can talk abt its objective value and significance all day but it does not matter bcz i will not stop being able to think about it regardless. fuck man. being autistic is crazy. my most consistent hobby is being in the throws of obsession. also the way im phrasing this sounds like its distressing me but i love it i love being in the throws of obsession i love it every single time it happens i just love it so intensely that the idea of it having less significance to me or to others than it has right now seems incredibly strange. what do other ppl even get out of watching tv shows and reading books if not this. i need to relax i need some coffee

[autism-corner]

forgot autism is like. disabling.

[apple-os]

ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni

[bungusofficial]

mutual how are you so good at getting into arguments with people who agree with you

probably bc i only respond to people who cant write or read

"rape play can be consented to" and "rape can be consented to" are VERY different sentences. n like honestly i shouldnt even have bothered.

if you have such a fundamental misunderstanding of the english language i wont waste my time trying to communicate with you. when every word means something different its not really english anymore is it. if everything u say is so divorced from the english language that i need to ask you to repeat and translate everything i dont think im at fault here

i might just cut contact w anyone in the community because everything i say is misunderstood and misrepresented and not taken seriously if im not sucking up to people.

and so many words have new double-meanings and im led to think i disagree with ppl because theyre fucking incapable of writing a coherent sentence. and then its my fault somehow.

and its not like 'transid' or paraphilia dont exist outside of the radqueer community. everyone wants to change things about themselves. everyone changes. people are into weird shit and have mental disorders. i dont have a problem with peoples experiences.

n if rqs put any effort into what they say (or even didnt blame me for assuming that a word doesnt have any new secret meaning) id treat it the same as the mogai or liom community. whatever. kinda fun. sometimes theres a relatable label

.delete later

[trafficpan-ic]

If I catch you in a lie it's as good as friendship over, I really don't care how big or small

[gregmarriage]

genuinely so fucked up right now, and so desperate to leave the house, that i would consider my pap smear, a holiday

[agrebel18]

Today I found out that shooting your shot platonically is WAY HARDER than shooting your shot romantically like oh my lord

[anotherpapercut]

got to work tired as fuck open up everything on my computer and Spotify has completely fucking changed it's interface. why would they do this to me specifically

[livsspecialinterests]

said goodbye to my therapist and cancelled my membership to the therapy site

looking back on the past 2 years of chat logs of conversations we had between sessions like strange little snapshots of a really weird time in my life

feeling hopeful and happy that i genuinely don't feel like i need therapy at the moment (i won't say i'll never need it again because you never know), but also feeling a little cut loose? even though the decision was purely mine to leave therapy, idk

[dirtytransmasc]

(mild vent)

when your autistic and someone gets mad at you for not doing a thing, because you've been paralyzed all day (and for the last month tbh) and yell at you, partially justifiably, because you were asked multiple times over the span of days to do it, but you couldn't get your brain to work, so while yelling isn't the best solution, you understand their anger, while doing the thing they wanted you to do, and not letting you do it or them, so now you feel stuck, because you can't move on without "making it up to them", so know your crying like a little kid in the bathroom, over something you know for a fact they aren't even mad about anymore, and would probably apologize for yelling at you for if they noticed you were still upset, but your brain is literally fixated on the event, and your to afraid to start a conversation, because you know you'll probably only make them mad again, cause as much as you love and trust the person involved, they aren't perfect, and are neurotypical and will only see your explanations as excuses.....

not me, no, not at all.

(I'm fine don't worry, just having a funky little moment where my brains trying to implode over a little more than nothing and I'm trying to logic it back into staying vaguely calm)