#im not supposed to have good things happen to me i guess | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cetoddle · 2 months ago

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i didn’t even get my nui

#literally the one thing i’ve been looking forward to in over a week #i think the package is lost #which is really cool #nuis are not cheap you know :’)#and there was a lot of other stuff in the package too #im not supposed to have good things happen to me i guess #snow.txt

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vaggieslefteye · 3 months ago

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CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel edit #hazbin charlie #charlie magne #hazbin edit #requested #hazbin hotel pilot #that's entertainment #charlie #my gifs #god ain't she the cutest little thing!#not gonna lie i get a bit emotional seeing her do The Pose during ''wonderful fantastic new hotel''#it's the same pose she does in the S1 poster :')#okay actually im back here to say some things in the tags:#holy almighty LORD these gave me so much grief to color in a way i thought looked nice #specifically the one of her in the news chair. sorry i was NOT gonna let that hideous highlighter green color assault all your eyeballs.#did i lose nearly two hours of sleep getting it right because i still have no idea what i'm doing? yes. worth it? YES. ohh yes.#i liked the seafoam look so i made the cloud sequence match :] or at least tried to #there WAS supposed to be another one of her in the news room but i just hated how it kept turning out so i scrapped it.#coloring the main series was one thing to learn but the PILOT? never has it been so obvious to me just how much more bright and vibrant #the colors got during the progression of the world design. also. if by any chance one of those cool and experienced #gif makers happens to see these tags and wants a good laugh: i've been doing this for how many months now? and just last NIGHT figured out #how to use the fucking eraser in photoshop....... thing is... i also draw. i KNOW what program tools look like. i KNOW ppl draw in PS.#i'm just a really silly fuckin goose!! TEEHEE FUCKING HEE I GUESS!#so for months i've been like ''god i wish i could just erase this part from the layer'' and looking at the eraser tool and just being like #''nah it's probably different and weird i'll just stick to what i know'' -> said boo boo the FOOL #see i could be in the club but i'd rather be aggressively neurodivergent about the silly queer demon cartoon that altered my brain chemical

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bogkeep · 12 days ago

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so so sick of every courier service that's not just Regular Local Mail. why do they make everything so difficult and complicated all the time auuggghhggg

#JUST TAKE IT TO A PICK-UP POINT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD #80% of the time they're supposed to do some kind of door delivery something goes Wrong #i have SCHOOL i can't be HOME ALL THE TIME #anyway dhl marked a package as delivered that was absolutely not in the mailbox #customer service said it had been marked as delivered in mailbox which is absolutely not fucking trur #today im told the courier talked to SOMEONE and left it on a CHAIR #THAT'S NOT THE MAILBOX IS IT. SCREAMS #and presumably they didn't talk to my landlord bc he'd leave it in my house #guess ill find out after school if the package is anywhere to be found #like. seriously. they couldn't have left it in the actual mailbox??? a CHAIR??? CHAIR???????#it did Not occur to me to search the terrace area #the previous times this happened (marked delivered but not delivered)#they either hadn't delivered it at all or dropped it off at a pickup point #can we just Not do the song and dance every time. can we do something sensible. like inform me about when and where i can get my package #give me OPTIONS. GIVE ME THE OPTION TO PICK A DELIVERY TIME OR A PICKUP PLACE #and the thing im trying to work on at school keeps going WRONG #NO BAD GOOD VERY TERRIBLE DAY!!!!!!!#i don't have TIME to get sidetracked by all this

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bobzora · 9 months ago

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school is making me miserable so here's a doodle sheet of akechi truths. hope this helps

#goro akechi #my art #<- i guess. how many times have i said i guess to this. sorry no new big or good pieces i have horrors in my brain #p5 spoilers #i guess #i suppose that.these r 'headcanons.' but these are just truths in how i draw this guy. also not my best akechi drawings for sure lol #would u guys be mad if i made another akechi animatic. <-if this happens it will not be soon i have So Much shit going on rn.#my mind is just doing things again (things being listening to songs and thinking about him)#anyway its rlly funny to me that gloveless akechi feels so naked but he doesnt Actually wear them all the time lmao. he does to me though.#hope this helps.#i did the jacket around neck thing as a little kid because it stayed there better than the waist. he on the other hand is doing hero moment #anyway my brain has long imprinted on him like a baby duckling. thoughts and prayers on the schoolwork im not doing.goro akechi #i hope he dies<- not true

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james-spooky · 1 month ago

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this is a test

#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th #the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo #g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit #ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco #ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo #e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a #ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha #e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t #care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea #y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss #im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop #e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo #ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas #ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can #use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s #much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a #annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically #now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s #lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like #what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or #smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc #ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other #than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140 #haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai #let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o #what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some #one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james #im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh #w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause #ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:

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roses-n-rads · 3 months ago

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Vent

#tbd #personal #i am so serious rn when I say it's a good thing im on birth control #and like on depo specifically bc that stops me from menstruating at all which keeps my moods pretty level #and honestly that's probably why my mood stabilizers work right #and also I do not need to be ovulating bc my brain already wants a baby I don't need my hormones makin that feeling worse #like bro brain dude we have genetic bullshit we do not need to pass on to a child like pls stop thinkin about being preg and havin a baby #honestly why does my libido seem to get worse the older I get isn't it supposed to be the opposite like why is that not happening #very rude of my brain and body tbh #I promised myself years ago that I would not get pregnant unless I was in a stable relationship w someone to help w preg and baby #and im not so my brain needs to stfu and leave me alone w baby thoughts #ritalks #I think the urge is getting worse bc im buying a house and my brains like that's a milestone closer to being a mom #I guess idk my brain is real rude tbh

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senzasord · 4 months ago

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#a thing happened as I was finishing work #(no one was hurt/nothing dramatic dw)#and I have always said that my definition of adult is knowing when to be the responsible person in the room #and i think I’ll be processing tonight for a while #but something that just struck me like lightning was #i always drew this definition of adulthood from the fact that I had to be the responsible person in the room a lot when I was a kid #when I shouldn’t have had to have been #and the thing that happened tonight I think really reinforced this for me in a way I haven’t reckoned with properly before #because being the responsible person in the room #when it is in fact supposed to be you #feels WAY different from when you are forced to be the responsible person in the room because you’re a kid but there’s no adult who can #it’s been a long day and i just lost the thread of the next sentence #but I think what I’m trying to say is #amongst other things that I’m struggling to articulate #is that i guess im glad I was able to be the responsible person in the room for someone #when it was supposed to be #as harrowing as it was #there was a visceral difference between when i had to do that as a kid #and when i CAN do it as an adult #i might to delete this in the morning #maybe not #scrapbook etc #I don’t think I completely articulated what I’m trying to say either #but it’s enough for me to put the thought down and go to bed maybe #good night

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bitegore · 1 year ago

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every so often i have to really wonder about the people who watch me talk about how badly i want someone to let me hurt them and fantasize about murdering imaginary characters i like and somehow assumes i'm a sub primarily and wants to be killed and chased and not, like, do the killing and chasing

#red rambles #theres a specific exchange i keep thinking of but it happens a surprising amount #i guess it's good that no one's looking at me and assuming i'm going to be a serial killer in the future any more #like im never going to forget that one girl who thought we were friends in high school telling me as i signed her yearbook #that if she heard about a serial killer on tv she was gonna immediately assume it was me. as though it was a cute jokey #thing to say and i was supposed to think it was flattering ??????#but this one's annoying too. no i dont want your blorbo to come hunt me down and put a hole in me unless i get to do them at the same time #if i'm writing texaid it's because i want to be tex not aid. if i'm writing mm/ds it's because i want to be motormaster and not drag strip #in real life i will play along with other people's fantasies sure. that's not the same thing as having it be My Thing #if you've never played along with a partner while banging them because you don't mind and they clearly like it idk what your deal is #but mine is just that i'm not as picky as i look and i can roll with most things #that doesn't mean that idk hypno is my kink or whatever just bc i dont mind if my fuckbuddy wants to put on hypno shit in the background #like get off my dick. and stop making assumptions #ill tell you who i am if you listen and if you aren't putting it together you're not going to get it. that's all #lemon

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hecksupremechips · 7 months ago

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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

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porcelainfreak-zacrucian · 7 months ago

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Fucking hell I am going to have A WEEK

#my bff' bd is 29th and i wanna make them a cake myself which means i gotta find all the ingredients on our fucked up little mass market #and then not fuck up the recipe which alright i baked that thing before. ONCE. AND IT ALMOST WAS A DISASTER.#luckily my bff's sister is helping me with that and she's buying the easy to find products so that's nice and appreciated #and i won't have to grate like. seven large carrots all by myself. that would be unfortunate #<- girl who did EXACTLY that last year #i also need to get a boclx for the cake and i wanna decorate it so it isn't just. A Box #and then in the evening me and her sister will go to our mutual friend who's organising all this shit and all three of us are gonna #creepily show up at my bff's window at midnight before her birthday with this cake. we're taking a taxi THANK GOD i hated transporting #a cake through public transport to the other end of the city last time #and then we spend the night at my bff's apartment before going back to oir mutual friend's place spending all day there and potentially ALSO #staying the night and THEN! do you know what happens then? then i go take a PE exam at my uni :)#also before all that i gotta finish some things i have a deadline for at the end of the month. which im supposed to be doing now but #guess what #im typing this instead #because im a whiny bitch okay my social battery is going to be DEAD after this. and i mean completely fucking fried #good luck to me ig #it's all worth it cuz i love my bff #but god am i glad they don't have Tumblr because they aint supposed to know our asses are planning something >:)#cruci shitpost

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storm-of-feathers · 1 year ago

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👍

#im done spiralling at least for right now #i double dosed on ambien bc tbh i probably need that good sleep #i have a beluga plushie i got from mystic. ive named him steve #i also have a jellyfish plushie i named peanut butter bc i think im hilarious #theyre both here. theyll help me with sleep #im so sorry for the past few days #ive been just.#this breakdown has been coming for a long long time #the summer is cruel. i want it to be fall #i can blame some of this on my period i guess #but deep down im just a broken person who takes things way harder than they should #so when bad things happen i dont always handle them well #july was cruel to me. i buried family and friendships.#im started to want to be buried too.#and that doesnt scare me like it should.#but it doesnt matter. bc ill eventually feel better. bc im supposed to be fully recovered and have dbt skills.

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wheelie-butch · 1 year ago

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obviously everyone has a mixture of good and bad in their life but I guess rather than actively evaluate things what's your gut feeling on this?

#polls #luck #inspired by my mum being surprised i consider myself someone with good luck and optimism #when i guess objectively i have had some pretty bad things happen to me #i just believe things work out for me i think im lucky and i will win scratchcards one day babyyyy #but this might actually be more about optimism vs pessimism i suppose

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago

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...

#the thing abt me is that if u complement me in an academic context i will melt #me walking into every interview: fuck this school. i dont wanna go there. im sad. on one is gonna want me. i can hardly function. fuck this #me walking out of every interview: fuck. the project is cool and they said nice things abt me 😭#fuck. the guy from the lab i interviewed with basically said if u wanna be here i can make it happen. i like ur style and i think ur a #super good candidate 😭 and he quoted my wanky writing bc i got a bit flowery and idealistic lol #and hes on the admissions committee so he was like: yea i can support u if u want just let me kno #and fucking hell the project is cool. but the thing is i think id have to be less of a sad sac bc i think he expects a lot and is hands off #but it is a big institution with a lot of creative ppl and theyre good abt supporting interdisciplinary work #so like the opportunities there would be pretty fucking great i think. hhhhhh god. theres no way i could take the uk one now #fuck. wtf am i gonna do abt that? do i bow out now before ive committed so they have a shot with another person #or is it too late for that bc they already put my name forward to the committee #god dammit. this was the one i was supposed to b like yea no shot am i getting this. and now im like fucking considering it like #the opportunities.... but id have to live in new jersey... it would b closer to home i guess. id b back on east coast time #and i could work with Yellowstone organisms. and i bet the classes r pretty fucking rad education wise #god. decisions. im gonna play Choices by the Hoosiers like a million times #thats what i did wjen i was deciding to go for undergrad. and then i didnt even decide. i was just like... well i dont wanna go to the #place all my classmates r going. i will go 3hrs away. then 12hrs by plane for my masters #fuck. at least it went well. everyone was nice and the 2nd guy i talked to was like:#even if u dont go here. email me if u end up working with zinc and i can help. and i was like 😭#i got a bit rambly with him but whatever he was 15min late so we're even lol #i was way too nervous. but it was ok. but also i dont understand wtf other incoming phd students r like??#like they say im a good candidate and ive got good background and im like ??? what sort of losers r u looking at if u think im good?#i just think maybe what i wanna do is unique and very specific so im like not trying to do just anything. i have standards lol #and apparently im more coherent than i give myself credit for. i talk good sometimes and i have enthusiasm when i dont feel like im dying #god. i was not expecting this. i dont belong at a school working with tech startups like wtf. i come from a place of slightly trash #universities lol. well my undergrad uni wasnt so bad... well i mean the city is the butt of a lot of ohio related jokes tho. im looking at #u klinger. fucking mean streets of toledo. whatever the school im at now is worse. couldnt even keep my boss here smh #anyway what the fuck. and i got a lotta writing done today what the fuck #me being competent???? unheard of. god. imagine if i had my shit together. i could kill god. algae and other scientists would fear me #unrelated

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kaoharu · 1 year ago

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i dunno man

#✧ chatting !#this whole situation is insanely ironic to me in a bad way #like i rlly dont have ? the right to be like this over them when i literally got upset abt another friend essentially doing the same thing #which pretty much killed off our friendship of 4yrs . . . smth i still kind of regret #altho i realize that she wasnt a good friend in retrospect i still feel like i was too mean abt it #which i guess is why its hard to imagine myself actually being able to commit and be happy over this ?#and all these thoughts are not smth i wanna bring into our interactions #but at the rate its going . . . i dunno #im alr rlly attached man #ykw #if this doesnt go away by my bday. i'll do smth abt it #thatd be in feb so we'll see what happens i suppose #gahhh #head in hands #slash silly

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headofhelios · 1 year ago

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when i was a kid the idea of like surprise birthday parties was so like. idk i wanted it and it never happened but now its actually like. gonna happen to me but at a really really bad time when i am going to be very stressed and whatever the surprise thing is will probably make it worse so its like. hmm. early birthday gift of being nauseous with anxiety a month in advance

#my brother had good intentions telling me but also like. i have been tearing up all night and when i tried to explain my reservations to him #i just felt stupid so its. mm. this sucks #its also weird bc like. guuuhhgg i had a weird Thing a while ago that was apparently really bad i guess #so it feels like. idk. my mother trying to 'fix' that with this. so i feel like i cant say no to it #(especially bc she doesnt know i kinda know about it)#but its also like. well. when it happens i might really really freak out badly and that would ruin things for everyone. right.#kind of feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place here bc like i WANT to talk to my mother abt this but also again she doesnt know #that i know and i dont want her to be disappointed that my brother said something to me. even though i dont know what the surprise is #just that there is one planned #also in recent years ive realized i get i suppose anxious when people get me gifts i havent Asked for #so surprises like this arent really my thing anymore. i think when i was a kid i mostly wanted one bc in tv shows theres always a lot #of people there for it and i was a lonely child.#anyway i realize this is something of a stupid thing to complain about #in my defense i feel like a lot of things that should be 'about me'#(however self centered that sounds. it makes me wince to say trust me.)#are made to be more about other people namely my immediate family.#so like my gender isnt about me its about how my mother feels about it. and my birthday isnt about me its about other people celebrating it #again ik ik its a stupid complaint. just saying that because of that *points up* which ive been feeling for nearly 10 years now #its all a bit of a tender bruise. emotionally speaking. for me.#personal

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bare1ythere · 2 years ago

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#a B in a bio class isnt the end of the world. a B in a bio class isnt the end of the world. a B in a bio class isnt the end of the world #I have such a complex about doing bad in academics but especially in bio because like. thats supposed to be the one thing im good at #but this class keeps throwing me curve balls and im not doing Bad but not good enough to the point that I feel sick to my stomach #at the thought of studying for the exam #and i dont have enough time i dont have enough time to study for my chem final which is in THREE DAYS.#With everything else also happening #I just feel so overwhelmed. I feel like i felt so much more confident in previous finals seasons #i dont know man academics were so much easier for me in high school #i dont even know if i wanna be a doctor anymore. i dont know if the dread I feel at the thought is because im just lazy and uncompetitive #or that its a sign that im going in the wrong direction #and the only thing im confident in anymore is my love for fandom stuff #but even then i dont feel good about my art half the time #im just tired of being stressed I guess. why do i have to kill myself for 8 months a year only to come out of it for like a week or two #to catch my breath. i feel like im going insane #this cant be right. this cant be right #shut up me #i did way too much this term and it almost killed me. but i feel so weak and lazy for not being able to do it all #Im already taking fewer classes next term and an extra year to graduate. I dont know why i cant handle the pressure the way my siblings can #ugh. whatever #i ha. i dont have time for this #vent

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