#of people there for it and i was a lonely child.

[elodieunderglass]

Was evolving a theory about this being something you did in the 80s, but based on the behaviour of my own children I think it might actually be a Walkable Community thing. You and your allies have to be able to reasonably reach an opposing pack of mildly-rivalling children. Itching potion with nobody to itch is extremely sad!

When I was growing up in the rural USA, I didn’t really wander around away from my home with other kids, definitely not often unsupervised, and only had people around for expressly arranged playdates with parents driving, and all of my nature-based games were pretty lonely. it was unthinkable to me that you’d itch your (rare, important) close friends on a visit - and it seems unnecessarily antagonistic to, like, perpetrate randomly in an American school environment!!

however if you are growing up in a village, or a very close-knit neighborhood like ours, there are always varying levels of kids around with varying complex relationships and social acceptability to attack randomly with plant-based pranks. And because you see them all the time, it’s quickly forgiven.

At least this is my theory of walkable-neighborhood PvP child warfare . I will take questions

You know how I said that Dr Glass often says things about his childhood that sound like someone doing a bit? Like some kind of Terry Pratchett hobbit nonsense of a fictional English childhood in the shire in the vale of a white chalk horse in the company of a pack of other feral children, together, forever.

Tonight it was, “oh, I used to make itching potion. Out of rosehip seeds.”

I stared at him. “For what,” i said eventually.

“I can’t remember. Most of it was about making the potion, and the rest was probably smearing it on the other village children.”

I stared at him.

He said, defensively, “it was the 80s.”

Anyway there you go. Unexpected use for rosehip seeds apparently. Forage them to recover a sticky gel-like paste? that causes itching in your enemies? Follow the angry little man for more baffling insights

[vrstual]

# synopsis: Kim Y/n was "forced" by her parents to intend a school trip so she could make new friends. Being alone, she was obliged to sit next to Yu Jimin, one of the most popular girl in school...

# content: kinda angst, fluff, wlw, cursing. (This is very long...!)

— masterlist !

“Dad, please, I don’t want to go.” Kim Y/n whined, her voice tinged with a mix of frustration and anxiety as she stood by the family car.

Her parents were already there, her suitcase in her father hands, the black wheels sinking slightly into the gravel driveway in front of Y/n's school.

“Y/n, we’ve talked about this… this trip is perfect for you to make new friends!” Mr. Kim exclaimed with enthusiasm, his hands animated as he gestured toward the car.

She glanced at the bus, its white exterior, and saw students already in groups, laughing and chatting, ready to have the best time of their lives. They looked so carefree, so sure of themselves, while she was panicking inside. Y/n felt the familiar sting of envy as she watched them, she had always wondered ever since she was a child what was wrong with her for her to be so alone.

“Look at them." She murmured, shaking her head slightly. “I’m never going to fit in.”

Her heart raced as she mentally replayed the last few months: the awkward moments at school, the feeling of being on the outside of friend groups, and the endless worry about not being cool enough or fun enough. What if this trip was just another reminder of how alone she felt?

“And, it’s not like I’m going to magically find friends in a week." Y/n continued, her voice tinged with exasperation.

“Hey, it’s going to be fine." Mr Kim tried to rassure his daughter noticing her gaze drifting towards the bus. “There will be tones of activities that will force you to talk to others! You won't be alone!"

Taking a deep breath, she tore her gaze away from the bus, forcing herself to focus on her parents instead. The looks on their face were full of hopes, she knew that they only wanted to fit in, to be less lonely.

She knew they wanted Y/n to be less like herself in a way, less shy and friendless.

“Fine, I’ll go.” She simply said, her tone firm but lacking enthusiasm, as she took her suitcase back from her father.

“That’s the spirit! And remember, it’s just a week. You can do this.” Mr. Kim smiled broadly, relief flooding his features.

With a deep breath, she hoisted the suitcase up, its worn wheels scraping slightly against the pavement as she moved toward the bus.

Her parents exchanged relieved glances, a silent conversation passing between them. They wanted this to be a good experience for her, to open doors to new friendships and adventures, but she felt trapped in a whirlwind of doubt. As she walked, her mind raced with thoughts of how this trip would unfold.

The chatter from the other students grew louder as they began to board the bus, their voices bubbling with excitement. Y/n’s heart sank as she imagined them effortlessly forming bonds while she struggled to find her place.

She glanced back at her parents one last time before putting her suitcase inside the bus, feeling a swell of mixed emotions. Their encouraging smiles and reassuring nods felt like lifelines, but she also sensed their hopes resting on her shoulders. Y/n wanted to be the first to enter, hoping that by doing so, she could claim a seat without having to force someone to accept her next to them.

With a quick inhale, she stepped up the narrow bus stairs, the metal cold beneath her fingertips as she gripped the handrail. The interior of the bus buzzed with excitement, laughter ringing out from groups of friends already settling into their seats. She felt a pang of longing for that easy camaraderie, but she pushed the thought aside.

As she moved further in, she scanned the rows of seats, searching for a spot where she could sit alone or next to someone that seemed kind.

While the idea of being alone among so many people made her stomach turn, she kept reminding herself that this was an opportunity, chance to break out of her shell, even if she felt like a fish out of water.

“Just find a seat." She muttered to herself, trying to somehow reassure herself.

“Excuse me…?” Mr. Park, her English teacher and one of the chaperones, called out to her, his brow furrowed in concentration as he tried to remember her name.

He shifted his weight, glancing at the other students boarding the bus before locking eyes with her, the familiar warmth of his smile reassuring yet slightly flustered.

“Y/n. Kim Y/n." replied, her voice steady despite her nerves.

Mr. Park’s smile widened as if he had indeed recalled her name, the familiarity easing the tension in the air.

“Great to see you, Y/n. Have you found a seat?” he asked hopefully, his eyes scanning the bus filled with students.

The anticipation in his voice made her feel a bit more welcomed in the bustling atmosphere. She shook her head, a hint of uncertainty and anxiety rushed back into her mind. Everyone had found a sit and she was the last one without one.

“How about you sit right here, next to Jimin?” He suggested, gesturing to an empty seat beside a girl with bright red hair.

Mr. Park glanced back at Jimin, who immediately turned her attention away from her friends and looked up at the teacher with a frowned.

Oh no, Y/n thought, her heart sinking as she finally registered who Karina was, the blonde popular girl who usually walked past her in the hallway as if she were nothing more than a piece of trash. Y/n recalled the way Jimin and her friends would laugh together, their voices ringing out like a chorus of exclusion while she stood to the side, feeling invisible.

The memories hit her hard: the way Jimin would toss her hair over her shoulder, glancing at Y/n with an expression of disdain as if she was nothing but an obstacle in her path. Y/n could almost hear the whispers of the other girls, the way they snickered and exchanged knowing looks as they passed. Each encounter had left Y/n feeling smaller, a shadow lingering in the background of Karina’s bright, glamorous world.

A wave of anxiety washed over her. She could already feel the weight of judgment pressing down on her, the familiar fear of being belittled creeping in. The last shred of her confidence wavered, and she hesitated for a moment, biting her lip as her thoughts raced.

“Yeah, sit here.” Jimin said dismissively, turning back to chat with her friends seated in the row just in front of her.

They both glanced back at Karina, eager to continue their conversation, leaving Y/n feeling even more isolated. Y/n remembered their names: Ning Yizhuo and Kim Minjeong. She quickly scanned the bus for the fourth member of their group and spotted Aeri Uchinaga sitting next to a boy, laughing animatedly with him. Aeri seemed completely at ease, likely in one of her talking stages.

As she took her seat by the aisle on the bus, she sighed, feeling the annoyance wash over her.

Y/n hated that spot.

The constant bumping from people moving up and down the aisle, the lack of a window to lean against, and the feeling of being just a bit too exposed.

Meanwhile, Jimin's friend obligated to sit properly in their assigned seats, quickly turned away and began chatting amongst themselves, their laughter and animated whispers forming a bubble of friendship that felt just out of reach.

“What’s your name again?” Jimin asked, her gaze fixed on the other girl with a strange intensity.

It wasn’t exactly unfriendly, but it lacked the warmth of genuine curiosity. Her eyes narrowed slightly, as if she were trying to place the other girl in her mental list of people, but she was too outcast to be in anyway. Y/n felt a bit on edge under her stare, unsure if she was supposed to laugh, answer quickly, or just look away.

“Y/N. Kim Y/N." She replied, her voice barely above a whisper as she kept her eyes down, focusing on her hands as they fidgeted in her lap.

She even didn’t dare look up to meet Jimin's gaze, feeling strangely self-conscious under her scrutiny. The bus hummed around Y/n, filling the silence that followed her response, and she wondered if she’d say anything else or if she’d just keep watching her with that unreadable expression.

As the ride went on, Jimin kept stealing glances at Y/n, trying to gather the courage to speak. Her fingers tapped nervously against her phone, mind racing with thoughts of what to say.

Should I break the silence again? She wondered, shifting slightly in her seat. Every few seconds, she looked over, only to turn away quickly when Y/n’s eyes drifted in her direction.

"Do you know Tyler, The Creator? He released an album a while ago, it's pretty good." Jimin’s voice cut through the silence, almost tentative, but carrying an edge of curiosity.

"Yeah... I know him, his music is great." Y/n blinked, momentarily taken aback by the question, but quickly caught on. "But I haven't listened to the new album." Y/n continued.

Jimin’s earlier annoyance seemed to dissolve, her features softening as she fished out an AirPod and, without a word, held it out to Y/n. Y/n hesitated for a moment, surprised, but then took the AirPod from Jimin’s outstretched hand, her fingers brushing against hers for a split second. Jimin quickly looked down, pretending not to notice, as she scrolled through her phone and tapped the album.

The first notes of the song began to play, the beat filling the silence between them. As each track flowed into the next, they both seemed to relax, caught in the same rhythm, lost in the same lyrics. Jimin didn’t say anything, but every so often, she’d sneak a glance at Y/n.

In the quiet intimacy of shared sound, the world around them faded, and for the first time, the silence felt comfortable like a language only the two of them understood.

—

“So… how was the ride?” Giselle’s voice broke the spell, her tone light and teasing as she appeared behind Jimin, arms crossed and a smirk dancing on her lips.

Jimin startled slightly, pulling out her suitcase as she turned to face Giselle, her eyes meeting the pink haired girl's.

"It was fine." She answered unbothered, earning Giselle to raised an eyebrow.

“‘Just fine?’” Giselle scoffed, hurrying to catch up with Jimin, who had already started to walk away toward class, clearly eager to escape the conversation. “Bro, this girl fell asleep on your shoulder, and you let her! When it’s me, you always pinch me awake the second I drift off.”

Jimin stopped mid-step, rolling her eyes as she turned back to give Giselle an exasperated look.

“Oh, I’m just saying." Giselle continued, leaning in conspiratorially. “The two of you, sharing music, all cozy and quiet… It’s cute.”

“Fuck off, Gi. Stop trying to ‘gay-ize’ me I have a boyfriend." Jimin shot back, her expression firm, as she folded her arms across her chest, clearly hoping to put an end to Giselle’s teasing.

"I am not 'gay-izing' you, you're already bi!" Giselle scoffed, rolling her eyes dramatically.

“Still have a boyfriend, and she’s super nerdy. We have nothing in common, she's the kind of people we walk on." Jimin muttered under her breath, giving Giselle a pointed look.

Giselle just smirked, unfazed, but Jimin wasn’t paying her any more attention. Her gaze had drifted back to Y/n, who was standing alone a few feet away, glancing anxiously at the crowd of students. She looked a little out of place, fiddling with her bag strap as if it might anchor her, a hand holding tightly her white suitcase.

Without realizing it, Jimin’s expression softened. It felt weird, she almost felt bad for the girl. Giselle raised an eyebrow again, noticing where Jimin’s attention had landed again.

"What is her name again?" Giselle only smiled before talking.

“Y/n or something, why?” Jimin asked, turning her head back toward Giselle, who was already striding toward Y/n with an air of confidence.

“Hey, Y/n!” Giselle called out, her tone friendly and casual. “What are you doing standing here all by yourself? We’re just about to head to the reception to get our rooms.”

Jimin’s eyes widened, and she took a step forward, her instinct to intervene kicking in.

“Giselle, wait! I don’t think—” The blonde tried to stop, but Giselle has already gotten Y/n 's attention.

Y/n felt a surge of nervousness coursing through her veins. Although she had grown a bit comfortable around Jimin over the ride, that didn’t mean she was ready for an actual conversation with her, especially not in the presence of one of her best friends.

She could feel her heart racing, her palms becoming clammy as she thought about how she might stumble over her words. The cold air of winter felt stifling, and she played with her fingers, trying to focus on the comforting sound of footsteps on snow that other around were making.

Scared, she felt beyond scared.

It had to be some kind of cruel joke for them to actually be interested in her, how could anyone be genuinely drawn to someone as invisible as Y/n?

She often felt like a shadow, blending into the background while others shone in the spotlight. The idea that someone could see her, really see her, felt utterly surreal. Was it possible they were just playing a game, testing the limits of her self-doubt? The thought made her stomach twist in knots, a mix of disbelief and a flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t as invisible as she believed.

But no, Giselle and Jimin couldn't actually be interested in getting to know Y/n.

She pushed her thoughts aside and smiled nervously, though her nose burned from the biting winter air. And she wished she had remembered to pull her scarf out of her suitcase before leaving. The cold wrapped around her like a relentless chill, and she rubbed her hands together, trying to summon warmth.

“Do you have roommates, or are you alone?” Giselle asked politely, her genuine smile lighting up her face.

She leaned slightly closer, her curious eyes sparkling with interest. Y/n could sense Giselle’s friendliness, which made her feel a little less out of place. But it was weird, considering how Giselle could look from outside, how scary she could get by just smiling at you in the hallway.

Or maybe it was just Y/n, maybe she just portrayed them as bad person because she was scared.

“Obviously, she’s alone. She had no choice but to sit next to me for the ride,” Jimin explained coldly, her gaze fixed on Y/n.

There was no warmth in her voice, just a hint of annoyance that made Y/n’s stomach churn. The embarrassment washed over her, and she wondered if Jimin saw her as a burden. The winter air felt even colder now, and Y/n shifted uncomfortably, feeling more isolated in the moment.

Giselle frowned at Jimin before gently nudging her shoulder, Jimin merely scoffed as she crossed her arms. The blonde girl leaned back against the but slightly her expression remaining indifferent. The contrast between Giselle’s warm smile and Jimin’s cool demeanor was striking, and Y/n couldn’t help but feel caught in the middle.

“Don’t mind her, she’s always that straightforward." Giselle chuckled, waving a hand dismissively in Jimin’s direction. “I already have a roommate, but Jimin doesn’t. How about you two share a room?”

"You have a roommate? You haven't told me." Jimin’s eyes widened at Giselle’s statement, surprise flickering across her face.

Meanwhile, Y/n stayed frozen, unsure of how to respond. The suggestion sent a rush of apprehension through her, but it was quickly overshadowed by her insecurities.

Would Jimin even want to share a room with her? The thought made her heart race.

Jimin’s cold demeanor lingered in the back of her mind, leaving Y/n feeling vulnerable as she awaited Jimin’s response. The blonde girl simply got closer to Y/n before she opened her mouth.

"Looks like you're stuck with me, Y/n."

—

The trip was almost over, they should go by the next morning and ever since the first day Giselle had been relentless in her invitations for Y/n to join her and the others. Y/n finally met Minjeong and Yizhuo, who were just as sweet as Giselle but somehow different.

The girls and Y/n were seated in a cozy café, the warm ambiance wrapping around them like a comforting blanket. They sipped on steaming mugs of hot chocolate, topped with fluffy whipped cream, while the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee lingered in the air.

“Hey, baby.” Y/n heard a voice behind her, and as the other girls turned around, she caught sight of Heeseung, Jimin’s boyfriend.

Y/n felt a flutter of nerves as he approached, his presence radiating confidence. The way he interacted with the girls made her feel a bit out of place; he greeted them with playful hugs and friendly nudges, instantly putting everyone at ease. Jimin, who had been sitting with her arms crossed, softened at the sight of him, a small smile breaking through her earlier aloofness.

For a moment, Y/n wished she smiled at her like that.

“Are you ready for some fun?” Heeseung asked, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "Tonight, you're all invited to a party with my friends and I. We met some dudes and they said to bring anyone we knew." He said as he smiled at Y/n.

For the very first time, she had been invited somewhere, and a genuine smile spread across her face while her eyes were stuck into Heeseung's. She turned her attention to Jimin, but when she glanced at her, she noticed that Jimin’s eyes were icy.

It was different, a stark contrast to how they had been in the days before. The warmth that usually radiated from Jimin seemed to have faded, replaced by an expression that suggested she was deep in thought or perhaps even a bit annoyed.

The atmosphere shifted, becoming more lively as the girls laughed and exchanged eager glances. Expected for Y/n and Jimin who seemed to have a eye battle from how Jimin was staring into her soul.

Perhaps Jimin was jealous of Y/n, but it felt impossible to her. After all, Y/n was nothing compared to Jimin. She couldn’t understand why Jimin would feel that way; surely, she must have been misinterpreting Jimin’s icy demeanor.

Y/n wondered if Jimin thought she had some sort of ulterior motive regarding Heeseung, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Yet, as she caught Jimin’s cold gaze, Y/n felt a knot of anxiety tighten in her stomach. It was frustrating to think that her mere presence could be misread as a threat.

Trying to shake off the uneasy feeling, Y/n focused on the laughter and conversation swirling around her. She reminded herself that she was here to have fun with friends and enjoy this moment, regardless of the tension that lingered between her and Jimin. Still, a part of her longed for Jimin to see her as a friend rather than a rival.

A friend? Was Jimin a friend to Y/n?

The pink-haired girl shot Jimin a glare, clearly frustrated by her cold demeanor. Meanwhile, the blonde girl simply shook her head as she gestured for her boyfriend to sit next to her. Heeseung, ever cheerful, took the invitation and settled into the seat beside her, leaving Jimin positioned awkwardly between Y/n and him.

The atmosphere around them shifted slightly, the laughter of the other girls rising and falling like a wave, but Y/n couldn’t shake the feeling that the dynamic had changed. She glanced at Jimin, hoping for a hint of the warmth they had shared earlier, but all she found was that icy gaze still directed toward her, making her wonder if the day would turn out the way she had hoped.

“Oh my god, we should head back before Mr. Park kills us. We have this shitty chocolate factory to visit." Yizhuo declared, her voice filled with a mix of excitement and mock horror.

The mention of the chocolate factory elicited a chorus of groans and laughter from the group, breaking the tension that had settled around the table.As everyone began to gather their things and rise from their seats the girls chatted animatedly as they made their way to the exit, Y/n falling into step beside Heeseung.

“What’s so bad about a chocolate factory?” He asked with a teasing grin, clearly enjoying the playful banter.

Y/n shrugged, feeling a little more at ease.

“It sounds like a lot of fun! I mean, who doesn’t like chocolate?” She replied, hoping to keep the mood light.

Deep inside she was clearly panicking, it was the very first time she ever spoke to this man.

“Hey, how come I’ve never seen you around? I’m Lee Heeseung." He said with a smile, extending his hand toward Y/n for her to shake.

Y/n hesitated for just a moment, caught off guard by his directness, but then she reached out and shook his hand, feeling the strength of his grip.

"I'm Kim Y/n." She answered as their hands touched.

With the cold air hitting them as they stepped outside, the group bundled up, ready for the adventure ahead. Even with the lingering tension, Y/n felt a flicker of hope that the day would turn out better than expected.

They finally reached their teacher, who was waiting near the entrance of the hotel they stayed in, and Y/n could feel a slight shift in the atmosphere. Jimin, walking a step ahead, seemed to purposefully ignore her, her focus solely on their teacher as if Y/n didn’t exist.

Y/n’s heart sank once again at the sight.

Feeling a mix of disappointment and frustration, Y/n forced herself to concentrate on the teacher’s words. The factory was going to be an interesting experience, and she didn’t want to let Jimin’s attitude ruin it for her. With Heeseung still beside her, she tried to push her concerns aside as they walked together toward the chocolate factory.

She could hear the laughter of the other girls ahead, but Jimin was the one she looked at.

—

“Jimin, can we talk?” Y/n asked hesitantly as they both entered their room.

The door closed behind them as Jimin turned to face Y/n, her expression unreadable.

“About what?” Jimin replied coolly, crossing her arms as she leaned against the wall.

“I just… I wanted to clear the air,” Y/n said, her voice steadying as she spoke. “You've been acting distant since the café and I don't really understand, is something wrong with me?"

That was such pick me of you, Y/n! She slapped for herself mentally.

Jimin’s gaze softened just a fraction, but her expression remained guarded.

"There's nothing wrong with you. I'm just tired." Jimin replied as she turned to face Y/n completely.

"You're not lying to me?" Y/n took a step closer, trying to bridge the gap.

Jimin paused, her defenses wavering for a moment as she contemplated Y/n’s words. The silence hung in the air, and Y/n held her breath, hoping that Jimin wasn't mad at her.

“I am not lying to you. Just prepare yourself while I'm doing my makeup here; we’re going out in an hour, Heeseung and his friends had invited us, remember?" Jimin stated matter-of-factly, her tone leaving little room for argument.

Y/n nodded as she smiled at the taller girl before heading toward the bathroom. Jimin paused for a moment, glancing over her shoulder.

After a moment of silence, Y/n finally stepped out, and Jimin felt something flutter in her chest at the sight of her. Y/n looked stunning, her outfit perfectly complementing her features and giving off an effortless charm. The soft light from the room illuminated her, making her look warm and inviting, and for a moment, Jimin was taken aback by how pretty she looked.

Jimin’s heart raced unexpectedly, the icy facade she had been maintaining beginning to crack.

“Come on, let’s go.” Jimin said as she turned sharply toward the door, a hint of fluster creeping into her cheeks as she avoided making eye contact with Y/n.

Y/n followed closely behind, sensing the sudden shift in Jimin’s demeanor. As they walked past the other girls, who were laughing and chatting, Y/n felt a knot of confusion twist in her stomach.

"Are you okay?" Y/n frowned, trying to understand what had caused this sudden chill.

“I’m fine." Jimin snapped, perhaps a bit too sharply. Her voice was firm, but Y/n could see the slight tremor in her hands as she adjusted her jacket, a telltale sign of her inner turmoil.

“You sure? You seem… different." She ventured, her voice barely above a whisper.

Jimin shot her a glance, her eyes filled with an undercurrent of something deeper, something that hinted at her own frustration.

“I said I’m fine." She repeated, crossing her arms defensively.

Giselle, who had been chatting with the other girls, noticed the scene unfolding between Y/n and Jimin. Her brow furrowed in concern as she watched the tension between them, trying to understand what was going on. Y/n shrugged in response, her shoulders rising helplessly.

Y/n glanced back at Jimin, who was now looking away, her expression stubbornly set.

After a moment they walked on, Y/n felt a growing sense of frustration mingling with her confusion. She had hoped the night would be a chance to strengthen their bond, but instead, it felt like they were drifting further apart.

It was weird, she never had friends and here she was getting all frustrated around of the most popular girl in school.

It felt weird.

It felt even weirder because as soon as they entered the party, Heeseung began shamelessly flirting with Y/n. The vibrant atmosphere of the place was filled with laughter and music, but all Y/n could focus on was Jimin's eyes as Heeseung pulled his easy charm and he leaned in close to her.

"You look great!" He flashed Y/n a dazzling smile as he yelled over the music into her ear.

Jimin’s expression darkened slightly as she stood back, arms crossed, watching the exchange with a glimmer of anger and irritation.

“Thanks, I guess!” Y/n replied over the music, trying to keep her voice light despite the discomfort settling in her stomach.

She glanced at Jimin, she tried to reach for her hand, her arm, anything. Y/n wasn't sure why, but she needed to feel like Jimin was still beside her, still with her. But instead she was met by two dark obs glaring at Heeseung.

As Heeseung leaned closer, his playful teasing and charm only served to heighten Jimin’s apparent anger as she pulled Y/n away from him.

“Heeseung, what the hell?” Jimin snapped at him, her voice cutting through the loud music.

The sudden outburst drew the attention of the girls and Heeseung's friends, and Y/n felt her heart race at the unexpected tension that had just escalated.

Heeseung looked taken aback, his playful demeanor faltering for a moment as he straightened up, clearly surprised by Jimin’s sharp tone.

"What? I was just—” He began, but Jimin interrupted him.

“Just what?” she shot back, her eyes narrowing slightly.

Y/n hated, she hated how Jimin hands were tightly grabbing onto hers in anger because she knew Jimin wasn't holding it in a act of softness. Perhaps she was reaching for comfort as she yelled at her boyfriend.

“I was just trying to make Y/n feel welcome!" Heeseung replied, his voice tinged with confusion, but Jimin didn’t soften.

“Jimin, it’s fine." Y/n interjected, hoping to ease the mounting tension. “Heeseung was just being friendly.”

Jimin glanced at her, and for a brief moment, her icy facade seemed to crack as she saw Y/n’s genuine attempt to defuse the situation. Y/n took a deep breath, feeling caught between them.

It was the very first time this kind of situation ever happened to her, and she wasn't a fan of it at all.

"Let’s just enjoy the night, okay?” One of Heeseung's friend suggested, trying to shift the focus back to the fun atmosphere around them.

Jimin shook her head in frustration, her blonde long hair swaying gently as she turned away from the bustling party. The vibrant music pulsed through the air, laughter and chatter blending into a lively backdrop, but she felt out of place. Y/n and Giselle exchanged glances, their expressions a mix of concern and understanding, before quickening their pace to catch up with her.

“Hey, wait up!” Y/n called, her voice barely rising above the noise, trying to reach for Jimin's hand again.

Jimin spun around, her face flushed with anger, and without thinking, she pushed Y/n away, the force of the shove surprising both of them. Y/n stumbled back, her eyes widening in shock. The lively atmosphere of the party faded into the background, and for a moment, it felt like they were the only two people in the room.

“Fuck you! You've been nothing but a pain in the ass ever since you came into our lives!" She snapped pointing her finger towards Y/n.

“W-what? I was just trying to be friends with you guys, I didn't meant to make you feel that way..?” Y/n glanced at Giselle, who stood nearby, her expression a mix of concern and confusion.

“What? You thought we were friends with you? You're just some nerdy fucker who keeps following us around!” Jimin shot back, her heart racing.

"Jimin!" Giselle moved closer, trying to mediate the escalating tension.

Y/n heart stopped for a moment, it felt weird to have friends. It felt weird because they weren't her friends, they didn't cared about her, at all.

It felt weird to feel appreciated for once.

Y/n couldn’t stop the tears from falling, hot and unrelenting, tracing down her cheeks as she struggled to catch her breath. Each drop felt like a shard of glass, piercing through the layers of her heart. She turned away, unable to face Jimin, the weight of the moment suffocating her. The laughter and music from the party faded into a distant hum, leaving only the raw pain of their confrontation.

Jimin’s eyes widened in shock as she saw the tears streaming down Y/n’s face. The realization hit her like a wave, washing away the anger that had fueled her words. Regret flooded her heart, each pang a reminder of how easily things had spiraled out of control.

"Y/n- I didn't meant to say that-!" But Y/n held up a hand, shaking her head as she struggled to compose herself.

"Y/n, I swear this isn't true we wanted to be friends with you!" Giselle stepped in, her heart aching for both of her friends.

For a moment, Y/n looked torn, the tears still flowing freely as she searched Jimin’s gaze for sincerity. Jimin’s heart raced, praying for forgiveness, hoping that they could find their way back from this painful moment.

"Please, just let me explain,” Jimin continued, her voice trembling but earnest. “I never wanted to hurt you like that I-"

“Drop the act, I get it,” Y/n said coldly, her voice barely above a whisper as she turned away from Jimin, her heart heavy with hurt and disbelief.

She began to walk away and Jimin stood frozen, a surge of desperation welling up inside her.

"No, wait!" She tried to call after her but Y/n stepped out into the dimly lit street, snowflakes began to fall, delicate and silent, blanketing the ground in a soft, white layer.

Jimin watched in anguish as Y/n’s figure slowly disappeared into the darkness, the soft glow of streetlamps illuminating her retreating silhouette. Snow began to accumulate on the ground, each flake a reminder of the fragile state of their friendship. Jimin’s heart raced with regret, the words unspoken hanging heavily in the air between them.

“Y/n, please don’t go!” she shouted, her voice cracking with emotion.

But Y/n didn’t stop; she continued walking, leaving Jimin standing alone in the stillness of the night, surrounded by the falling snow.

"Now, what the fuck, Jimin?" Giselle looked at her disappointed as she started running after Y/n.

It felt weird, weird to feel her heart pounding like that for a nerd.

—

Y/n stepped off the bus as soon as the doors opened, her heart pounding in her chest. She had spent the entire ride next to Giselle, carefully keeping her distance from Jimin, who sat several seats ahead, surrounded by a small group of friends.

The air in the bus had felt thick and suffocating, filled with unspoken words and unresolved tension that pressed down on her.

As Y/n stepped out the bus, the cool evening air hit her, refreshing yet stark against the storm of emotions swirling inside her. She took a deep breath, trying to clear her mind, but all she could think about was the hurt and anger that had driven her away from Jimin.

She wished she could just disappear, to retreat back into the shadows where she felt safe and invisible, like she used to before everything got complicated. The thought of going back to her parents, to the familiarity of home, offered a bittersweet comfort.

She longed for the simplicity of her old life, where there were no confrontations, no emotional turmoil, and certainly no heartache.

Y/n perceived her parents waiting by the car, their expressions a mix of concern and anxiety that tugged at her heart. As she approached, her mother stepped forward, a smile on her face trying to hide her nervousness.

"How was it? Was it great? Have you made new friends?" Her father asked behind her mother.

"Yeah, it was really nice. I made plenty of friends." Y/n nodded, forcing a small smile despite the turmoil inside.

Her parents high fived each other relief rushing over them.

“Let’s get you home! You better tell us everything!” He said, opening the back door of the car and gesturing for her to get in.

As her parents climbed into the front seats, Y/n stared out the window, watching the snowflakes dance against the glass. Each flake seemed to mirror her feelings, delicate yet full of chaos. The streets blurred by in a haze of white, but she couldn’t shake the heaviness in her chest.

She met Jimin eyes who was along Heeseung, she seemed desperate for to talk to her. Y/n only turn her look away as her parents drove away.

—

Y/n had been away for the weekend, visiting relatives, and now that she was back home, a familiar sense of loneliness enveloped her. The quiet house felt oddly empty, the silence only broken by the soft hum of the heater. After the whirlwind of emotions from the party and the fallout with Jimin, she found herself craving a distraction, something to pull her away from the heaviness in her heart.

When Giselle texted her, asking if she wanted to hang out, Y/n jumped at the chance. The prospect of spending time with her friend lifted her spirits, offering a welcome escape from her thoughts. “Of course! I’d love to,” she replied quickly, a sense of anticipation stirring within her.

A little while later, the doorbell rang, and Y/n rushed to answer it.

But instead of seeing Giselle standing by the poarch, she was met by Jimin.

"Oh hell no." Y/' said as she was about to close the door but the blonde girl stopped her.

“I’ve driven around the whole town and got stuck in traffic just for you to hear me out." Jimin breathed out, her voice steady but laced with urgency. "Did you knew your house is at the opposite of my place?"

Y/n felt a mix of surprise and apprehension wash over her. The night air was crisp, and the distant sounds of the bustling town seemed to fade away as she focused on Jimin’s intense expression. The weight of their unresolved conflict hung heavy between them, and Y/n wasn’t sure if she was ready to confront it.

“Please, just give me a chance to explain myself.” Jimin urged, stepping closer, her voice softer now but no less earnest. "Actually, I'm terrible with words and usually they got stuck in my throat. But, you're the best nerd I ever had the chance to meet, you made this week so special and it felt like we were meant to cross paths. But I got scared, I got scared because you're something new, this whole world you have on your own, it's so different than mine."

Y/n took a step back, feeling the turmoil within her bubbling to the surface. She wanted to be angry, to hold onto the hurt, but she also felt a flicker of hope at Jimin’s words.

"And I'm so sorry, for letting you thinking we acted in a act of pure of pity but it wasn't. You're not an act of pity, Y/n." Jimin finally finished, you could see her red cheeks and the way she was moving her hands.

She was nervous, and it was the very first time ever you had seen her in this state.

With the air thick with honesty and vulnerability, Y/n knew they were at a turning point, one that could either mend their friendship or push them further apart. But for the first time in days, she felt the possibility of healing.

“Get in, you’re not even wearing a coat! You’re going to catch a cold." Y/n said, her voice laced with concern as she glanced at Jimin standing outside in the frigid air, shivering slightly.

Jimin hesitated for just a moment, her breath visible in the cold night air, swirling around her like a ghost before she stepped closer. A small, grateful smile broke across her face as she opened the car door and slipped inside, the warmth of the house enveloping her like a comforting embrace.

“Thanks." She murmured, tucking her hands under her thighs to warm them.

—

“Okay, but playing Minecraft at your age is really nerdy of you,” Jimin affirmed, her tone playful as she lay sprawled on Y/n’s bed, propped up on her elbows.

The room was dimly lit, the soft glow of fairy lights creating a cozy atmosphere, and the faint sounds of the game played from Y/n’s laptop resting on her lap.

"But you've been watching me play for an hour now. I think you like nerdy things." Y/n rolled her eyes, a grin tugging at her lips.

"Yeah and that's why I like you, my nerdy bestfriend." Jimin laughed, shaking her head as she watched the other girl's focused expression.

Y/n felt a sting in her heart but she decided to play it cool, still looking at her screen.

“Did I upset you?” Jimin asked, with a soft smile as she watched Y/n’s expression shift.

“No.” Y/n replied, her eyes glistening slightly as she fought to keep her emotions in check.

“Are you sure I didn't upset you by calling you 'my nerdy bestfriend'” Jimin insisted, her tone urgent as she leaned in closer. "Y/n?"

Y/n looked away, staring out the window as the world outside blurred past, lost in thought. Her head filled with a million thoughts.

“You’re not great at hiding your feelings, you know." Jimin remarked with a half-smile, glancing sideways at Y/n.

"What?" Y/n cheeks flushed slightly, and she laughed softly in panick, shaking her head. “What are you talking about?”

Jimin chuckled getting closer to Y/n, her hands touching Y/n cheeks.

“I know you like me.” Jimin teased and Y/n sweared she felt her heart drop in her stomach. "I've tried to talk to you about it, but you're so oblivious it's getting annoying."

"Don't hate me, I swear I don't know how to deal with this kind of things! I didn't meant to feel that way about you, especially since Heeseung and you are getting better–!" She couldn't even finish her rambling, the blonde had already pushed herself onto the younger.

Her lips met Y/n’s, and they felt like sweetsm soft and inviting, like the sugary confections that melted on the tongue. The moment was unexpected yet electrifying, an explosion of warmth that sent a rush of exhilaration through Y/n’s body. It was as if time had slowed, the world around them fading into a distant blur as they surrendered to the sweetness of the kiss.

Y/n was kissing, Yu Jimin. She was kissing someone else girlfriend, but she felt a wave of emotions crashing over her: surprise, joy, and a spark deep within her.

She could taste the remnants of the strawberry lip balm Jimin had worn, a flavor that was both familiar and intoxicating. The kiss lingered, a perfect balance of tenderness and eagerness, as if they were savoring a treasured treat.

"I guess obliviousness goes with the nerd act, doesn't it?" Jimin smiled shyly, a faint blush creeping onto her cheeks.

“Yeah, it does." Y/n agreed, feeling the heat radiate between them. "But what about Heeseung?"

"I broke up with him a while ago, he had clearly a crush on you, just like I have." Jimin laughed again as she caressed Y/n cheek.

A comfortable silence enveloped them, charged with the weight of what had just happened. In that instant, everything felt different—more vibrant, more alive. They both knew this kiss had shifted their friendship into uncharted territory, opening up a world of possibilities neither had dared to imagine before.

“But most importantly, are we okay?” Jimin asked, her eyes searching for Y/n’s, trying to understand what was going on in her head.

“We’re more than okay." Y/n nodded her head multiple times, making Jimin laugh loudly.

As they sat there, the taste of sweetness still lingering between them, Y/n felt a sense of hope and excitement blossom in her chest. They were on the brink of something new, and she was ready to embrace it.

It felt weird being liked by Yu Jimin.

# AN: it's my very first fic so I am sorry if it seems rushed or if it's not as good as it could've been !

[mintmatcha]

So does Kirishima ever threaten sero when he keeps asking about reader?

Sero's phone buzzes across the table, barely audible over the thrum of fake gunfire. The round's just begun, so Kirishima tries to ignore it, but his friend is already squirming in his seat.

"Someone's home from cram school." Sero's hunched over himself, controller basically in his face. His smile is suspiciously taut, lips parted over his perfectly straight teeth. "I'm out after this round."

Of course he is. That's all these sleepovers have become: charades for him to sneak over and see you.

"My dad's going to be pissed if he finds out you snuck out." Kirishima says. It's not really true - he'd probably applaud Sero before anything else - but the lie feels good to say. He's already jamming the controller harder than he should, the plastic edge digging into his palm.

"I'm not scared of your dad-- he loves me."

Kirishima sinks back into the couch. His character's already dead, laying there, waiting to be revived.

"I just-" He shouldn't say anything. "Can you not mess with her, please?"

With a snort, Sero looks over, his expression unchanged until he takes in Kirishima's look.

"What do you mean?" Sero shrugs, turning back to the television. "We just, like, hang out and junk. Watch some anime, make out. Nothing major."

"But she's really nice," Kirishima says, carefully. "And really lonely. If you're just gonna treat her like-"

With a grunt and a gasp, Sero's character's dead now too. He places his controller down pointedly.

"Like what?"

Kirishima swallows down the lump in his throat.

"Like every other girl." The red head crosses his arms. "If you're going to treat her like every other girl, you should just leave her alone."

Scoffing, Sero looks at his friend, lips parted in a clownish frown. "What does that mean?"

"You know what it means."

Sero pushes off of the couch.

"Whatever, Kirishima." He tucks his hands into his pockets, fists balled. "Just because you don't like girls-"

Everything goes hot. From his fingertips, to his toes, the the space behind his eyes, every part of Kirishima's body suddenly burns. The heavy space in his throat is suddenly dry, crumbling, sticking up any words that could possibly come out. All he can do is sit there and stare, eyes wide, expression gaunt.

"I like girls." Kirishima can't help but think that Sero looks particularly good in the low light - those soft child's features melting away into his late teens, cheekbone cut by the diffused light of the television screen- and that makes his stomach even more sour. "I'm not-- "

The tension shrinks out of Sero's body as he seems to process what he said. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I like girls."

"I didn't mean it like that, Kiri, just-"

Kirishima finds his feet. Sero's taller, but Kirishima's bigger, muscle built out from training. When he folds his arms, he bunches his biceps up and tucks his fists behind them. The harrowed heat inside him has changed to a burning anger.

"Do you even like girls?" The words tumble out on their own. "Because all you do is treat them like garbage. "

Sero laughs, light and airy in the way that only fuels the flame.

"We all know you're just acting like this-" Kirishima shouldn't say it. He's not even supposed to know; it's drama passed to him through classmates, whispered behind Sero's back- "Because your dad cheats on your mom."

Sero blinks as if he's been slapped. Then, he blinks again. His tongue rolls over his teeth, measuring his emotions.

"Don't talk about my mom."

"Don't say that I don't like girls!"

The silence between them is wild, like static. It burns, it demands to be filled by something other than Kirishima's heavy breathing, but instead they both look at each other, firm, resolved.

"Fine." Sero snatches his phone from the table. "Whatever, Kiri. Least I get to make out with people."

In three big steps, he's gone, into the hall and presumably out of the apartment all together. Kirishima's silence goes softer.

"I like girls," he says to the television screen.

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

Heey! I hope you're doing well! I would like to request a story about gp Donna having a daughter with a maid who abandoned her when the child was born. Donna raises her daughter alone and homeschool her for most of the part until her daughter tells her that she wants music lessons so Donna asks the duke a piano. The duke being all noisy gets the tea about Donna's daughter wanting music lessons and suggests Donna to hire reader as her teacher, an excellent pianist with good reputation. Both Donna and her daughter (like mother, like daughter) fall in love with reader with Donna's daughter wanting reader to become her other mom (and unlike Donna, her daughter is not that shy and is always complementing reader and dropping hints to her that Donna is very much single).

One afternoon after a lesson Donna listens to reader sing while she plays the piano and is mesmerized by her beautiful voice. Perhaps reader is singing a classical piece like Ave Maria by Schubert and that sort of reminds her of her family before the black gods faith and all that (I suppose it would make sense not to sing about other gods except for the black ones? So that's why gets more enamored with reader, for bringing her back those memories). Anywaysss, Donna with a little help from her daughter confesses to reader, who of course has fallen in love with Donna and her offspring.

welll, I hope that wasn't too much of a request 😅

Have a good day!

Yesss!!! I have to say I loved that request, thank you :D! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :)))))

Rebuilding a broken life

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Fluff, a bit of angst, Donna being Donna and a single mother, that's curious :D, G!P Donna (implied), Donna's POV

Word count: 8,709

Summary: I only have my daughter...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open, I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))

Sometimes I try to live in the past, to remember what those times were like, when life was much easier. I would have given anything to go back to that moment, to reject Mother Miranda's offer to make me her daughter, a Lord.

But being named Lord, obtaining the divine grace of the Black Gods didn’t illuminate my path, rather, it darkened it. I always lived isolated. I was never interested in people. They were evil, they laughed at me, at my appearance, at my scar. I could consider my transition from villager to Lord a success, since those mocking laughs turned into cries and screams of terror, but, apart from that, nothing else changed.

At least nothing that had to do with my condition as a lonely and isolated woman. The reason for the mockery and for my behavior mutated in an unpleasant way; turning me into something like a deformed monster, as much as Miranda denied it.

The Gods' whim was just a moment of fun, and with me... they went too far. Not only did my eye disappear, not only did they turn me into an unpleasant being. They also played with my body.

I didn't care too much, I got used to it soon, but I didn't know how to get used to loneliness. My solitary life only ended partially. Angie, my doll since I was a child, came to life thanks to my efforts, to my desperation to hear another voice other than those in my head.

It might seem like a positive change, in part it was, but it wasn't what I was looking for by giving myself over to the black claws of the village. Getting out of that spiral of madness and loneliness was my true goal, but things never turn out the way you expect. Neither the new parts of my body, nor my powers, nor my appearance made it change. Madness continued to eat away my brain, the madness that came from an illness that had stalked my family for years.

If you put it all together, a deformed face, a different body, terrifying powers, madness and absolute loneliness, you get a legend, a character from a scary story, you get me: the last Lord, the doll maker, Donna Beneviento.

I stopped aging. I stopped being a baseless legend to become a woman to be feared, respected or even revered. My new siblings seemed to enjoy that change, to exercise power over the rest of the villagers, to inflict terror on them.

I was never interested in that kind of power, the power to get what I wanted when I wanted and the power to never be questioned. I had become so accustomed to my solitude that it became my refuge, a refuge for all eternity.

One day, after my sister Alcina convinced me, I decided to try out what it would be like to live with someone, to hear other different voices in the mansion, and I accepted one of her maids. She was a beautiful girl. Her name was Helga.

It could have been because of the lack of habit, because of my heart's longing to not feel alone, the reasons really didn't matter. It didn't take long for me to fall in love with her. I had never believed in love, I never had the chance to experience what my books talked about. I was eager to do it, to love, to be loved.

Looking back on the past, I now think that maybe I should have thought things better, understand that love is something that happens between two people, and not just for one of them.

Helga accepted my feelings and let herself be loved by a monster like me. In her eyes I could see the lie, the deception. I could see a false smile when she heard me say: I love you. I didn't give it any importance, she had to love me.

Of course I let myself be carried away by my clumsy feelings, by my erratic heart. I took that girl. I made her mine when I wanted, when I needed. I thought everything would change from that moment on, and I was right.

I wasn’t careful when I claimed her body as mine, and there were consequences. After a few months with the illusion of living a romance, it happened, I got her pregnant. I never thought about having a family, about starting one.

I had to get used to the idea of ​​having a baby with someone who, deep down, I knew didn’t love me, but seeing my child grow in her womb mesmerized me too much. After a few months, that child came into the world, a beautiful girl, Maria Beneviento.

I came to think that I couldn’t be happier. I had a beautiful girl, a young maid at my side, everything was perfect, but, again, it was just an illusion. I remember the blizzard of that night, that terrible night.

“Shh, ti prego non piangere, tesoro…” I whispered while cradling the newborn, who wouldn't stop crying. “Oh, hai fame, vero?” I said, getting up to look for Helga, who, she told me, needed to rest.

I couldn't blame her. It had only been a week since the girl was born and she was exhausted.

I walked through the house with the girl in my arms. Poor thing, she was crying inconsolably. I looked for Helga in her room, the one she never wanted to leave. I will never be able to get over what I found.

The room was empty, there was no one there. I looked for her, but she was gone. In the baby's crib there was a note, a damn note that I burned in the fire, and whose words still burn in my heart.

I can't stand it anymore.

Everything I did, I did because I was afraid, because you scared me.

I can't stand having given my life to a monster like you, having a baby who will soon become a monster too.

I can't stay with you. I can't look my daughter in the face, a daughter I never wanted.

I never loved you, and I never will.

I'm leaving, Donna, I'm leaving forever. I wish I could have taken that innocent baby with me, but you terrify me, I know what you'll do to me.

I screamed, I cried, I hit everything within my reach. I couldn't believe those words and at the same time it seemed like I had read them somewhere else, perhaps in her sad and complacent gaze.

Without thinking twice, furious, with my daughter in my arms, I went out to look for her. It was a dark night and the snow didn't stop falling. I called out to her, I threatened her, but it was too late.

On the snowy ground there were footprints, her footprints. Desperate, I followed them, followed them until... they disappeared, they disappeared at the edge of a cliff.

Surely that stupid girl didn't know how dangerous my land was, how dangerous it was to go out at night in the middle of a blizzard.

She would never come back, she abandoned me forever, she abandoned us.

I might have thought that I had the consolation of still having my daughter, that my baby hadn't fallen into the void with her mother, but I didn't see it that way. My soul was broken in two, my heart was crushed mercilessly. That girl left me alone with my daughter, that girl never loved me.

I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have my daughter in my arms, I don't know what the consequences would have been. I spent days complaining, even though I barely had time. I was left alone, my daughter too. Helga abandoned me, but Maria was still with me. She was a newborn baby, she needed me.

Pain, suffering... at first that was what I felt when I had to take care of my daughter alone. I never knew how to do it well. I was overwhelmed several times, desperate. Then I realized what I had to do, my responsibility. I had to take care of my little girl; it didn't matter if I had to do it by myself. I had no other option.

Luckily, I managed to get used to the situation, and move on.

The years went by and my little Maria grew up, perhaps faster than I would have liked. She was a girl... well, a bit strange girl. Physically she was exactly like me, but... her personality was not similar at all.

Maria was intelligent, extremely intelligent. She was a happy, funny, outgoing and obedient child. I like to think that I was a good mother to her, although that wasn't the case.

From a very young age she had to put up with my madness. Dealing with a sick mother like me, without having anyone else (apart from Angie, of course), must have been hard for her, but she never showed it.

Eight years after that fateful night, my daughter and I lived peacefully. She knew me and understood me, and I loved her madly.

I knocked on the girl's bedroom door slowly, as it was a reasonable hour to sleep.

“Come in,” my daughter said, in a sweet voice, as always.

“Maria, it's time to sleep,” I said softly.

The girl, lying in bed, looked at me over the book she was reading with Angie, and made a gesture of silence. I couldn't help but smile and obeyed her request, slowly approaching and sitting on the mattress.

“Cinque minuti,” she whispered in an intriguing voice, turning a page. “Mamma, they've killed Dumbledore…”

“Oh,” I sighed with a tender smile, watching Maria devour the book.

“I told you Snape was a traitor from the start! I told you!” Angie shrieked, pointing at the book with her wooden hand.

“Angie, don't shout,” I told the doll, who relaxed her attitude.

“It's true, you were right, Angie,” Maria said, nodding to the doll, who laughed in satisfaction.

The little girl closed the book with a sigh of suspense and left it on the table, passing a hand over her forehead.

“Wow... it was interesting,” she said, letting me get a little closer and cover her with the sheets. “I can't wait to see what happens,” she said rubbing her hands.

“Mm,” I murmured with my eyebrow raised, arranging my daughter's hair, a gesture she liked less and less.

“Mamma…” she protested amused. “I'm not a child anymore.”

“Aren’t you? So, what are you?” I asked with the same mocking tone.

“Mm…” she murmured thoughtfully, looking at the ceiling. “An impending pre-teenager.”

I laughed, shaking my head at my daughter's bold responses. I definitely don't know where she got that audacity from. It couldn't be from me… maybe from Angie?

“Excuse me, my impending teenager,” I joked, making sure the girl was well protected from the cold.

“Um, mamma…” Maria murmured nervously, attracting my attention, when I was about to leave. “Can I talk to you?”

“Va bene,” I answered frowning and sitting back down. “What's wrong, tesoro?”

“I was just wondering…” she said, without looking at me directly, thoughtful. “Mamma… Who was my mother?”

The smile immediately faded from my face and memories appeared to haunt my wounded mind. I had to make a great effort to control my nerves. I didn't want to lose my mind in front of my daughter, not again.

“Maria, what's that question about?” I said nervously, with a cold tone.

“Well…” Maria said, sitting on the bed while scratching the back of her neck. “I have a good memory. I remember I asked you when I was… I think I was 4 years old. You told me I was too young to know.”

“Mm, certo,” I said blinking erratically.

“But I'm not so young anymore,” my daughter said, with an expectant look. “Per favore, mamma, tell me what she was like,”

I sighed, undecided, but motivated by her bright eyes, identical to mine.

“W-Well… y-you…” I stammered, trying hard not to let my voice get stuck, something complicated. “Your mother was… her name was Helga and… she was my maid.”

The girl nodded curiously, barely blinking.

“She was very beautiful,” I whispered, remembering that treacherous look.

“What happened to her?” she asked impatiently.

“Um… she left, she abandoned us shortly after you were born,” I said, knowing there was no point in lying to her. That girl was devilishly smart, she would find out sooner or later.

“She left you alone with a baby? Wow, she wasn't a good person then,” the girl whispered. “Do you think I'll ever get to meet her?”

“No, I'm afraid… she's gone,” I murmured, shaking my head and holding back a tear.

“Oh, well… thanks for telling me,” Maria said with an indifferent voice, opening the drawer of her nightstand and taking out a paper and a pen. “Yes, it’s progressing…”

“Mm?” I murmured curiously, trying to see what was on that sheet of paper, on which Maria seemed to cross something out. “Cos’è questo, Maria?” I asked, tilting my head to try to make out something.

“Questo?” she said, showing me the paper. I nodded slowly, studying those phrases that were written on it. “Oh, it’s nothing… just a wish list.”

“A wish list?” I asked curious and amused, trying to bury the memory of her mother, so her words wouldn’t penetrate my mind, and destroy it again.

“Well, I'm already 8,” she explained with that knowing tone I adored. “Soon I'll reach adolescence and lose my mind, you know, hormones…” she said with a passive voice and an amused gesture. “Before that happens and my head starts to think about stupid boys, I would like to do some things.”

“Mm, you're cautious,” I commented, surprised, as always, by her intelligence. “Can I take a look?” I asked, extending a hand towards the paper, paper that Maria handed me, nodding and shrugging.

Yes, it was a list, the wish list of an eight-year-old girl. Some things were crossed out, the most recent was:

Meet my mother

I sighed somewhat sadly knowing that she would never do it, but I continued reading, hoping to distract myself enough with the girl thoughts and ambitions.

“Maria…” I whispered, looking at the girl with a frown and pointing at one of the phrases. “To have a sibling?” I asked with a trembling voice.

“Yes,” my girl nodded, with an innocent smile. “I think it would be really cool to have one,” she said without caring about the impossibility that it entailed. “Don't be offended, Angie.”

“More minions? I like how it sounds,” the doll said, with an amused gesture.

“I'm afraid that wish is impossible, tesoro,” I said with a low voice, with a sad look.

I could never, ever fall in love again, not after what happened the first time I did.

“No, it's not impossible,” Maria protested, leaning towards me and reading her phrases. “Look, mamma, if this one here comes true, it would be possible.”

I looked at where her finger was pointing, and I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry in despair.

Mamma stops being alone

I read it several times, glancing at the girl and hiding the trembling in my hands.

“Maria…”  I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Y-You should think of another wish.”

“No, they are my wishes, you can't influence them,” the girl said, crossing her arms. “You just have to read them, not judge them.”

“Va bene, you're right,” I said, briefly pinching her cheek, something that made her laugh embarrassedly. “Mm, learn to play the piano?” I asked, reading more of her wishes. “Do you want to learn to play the piano?”

“Oh, yes, do you remember the day we went to see Aunt Alcina at the castle?” she asked, coming closer, she seemed excited.

“Yes, of course I remember,” I answered, looking at my daughter curiously. “You mean the maid who played you a birthday song, right?”

“Well…” the girl sighed, rolling her eyes. “The song was childish and squeaky, but the sound of that piano… it was beautiful, so I decided to learn… but… we don't have a piano,” she said in a much lower voice, looking away, as she always did when she wanted to ask me for something.

“Actually we have one in the basement,” I said. “You could learn on it.”

“Mamma, that's not exactly a piano,” my daughter said in an innocent tone, biting her lip. “I want a real one, a piano as cool as the one in the castle.”

“You want a piano,” I murmured, arching my eyebrow. “Do you want me to buy a piano, Maria? Is that what you're trying to ask me?”

“Well… I wouldn't say no if you do,” she said amused, with her eyes wide open. “I know my birthday has passed and…”

“Cut the crap,” I said amused, shaking my head. “Well… I guess it’s something much more feasible than some of your wishes.”

“Does that mean you’ll do it? Will you buy me a piano?” the girl asked, standing up on the bed, excited again.

I looked at her tenderly and thought for a moment. I could never deny my little girl anything, I never would.

“If you behave,” I said amused, pointing at her with my finger before she jumped into my arms.

“Great! Grazie di cuore, mamma, you’re the best, the best!” Maria yelled enthusiastically, wrapping her arms around me and giving me a tender hug that I always appreciated, that told me I would never be alone, I would always have my daughter.

“Okay, okay, tesoro,” I said, overwhelmed by her affectionate kisses, gently patting her back. “But you’ll have to be consistent and learn to play wonderfully, mm?”

“Certo, I have to read more books,” my daughter said, moving away and letting herself fall on the bed, with a hand on her chin, thoughtful. “Now go, I have to think,” she said with a concentrated expression. “Where could we put it, Angie?”

“Well, you better go to sleep,” I said, laughing tenderly, giving her a kiss on the forehead and looking at the doll coldly, telling Angie with my eyes not to bother Maria and let her rest, something almost impossible.

“Mamma,” Maria called me, before I went out the door. “Ti voglio bene”

“Anch’io, tesoro… Anch’io…” I whispered, closing the door slowly.

Maria was not a capricious child, even though I always did whatever she wants to see her happy. I will always be surprised by her ability to educate practically by herself, taking advantage of my absences, my crises, to fill her mind with knowledge.

Sometimes I regretted having had a maid, but I changed my mind when I saw my little girl. She was the most important thing to me, and that would always be the case.

If Maria wanted a piano, she would have a piano, without a doubt.

The next day I took advantage of the Duke's weekly visit to make the request. I still find it hard to believe how different Maria is, how little she resembles my withdrawn and shy personality…

“Hello, Duke,” Maria said, waving her hand politely with a mocking smile.

I was standing next to her, with my face covered with the veil and the Angie doll in my arms. No matter how well that horrible man treated my little girl, I never trusted him.

“Miss Beneviento, you look well,” the merchant murmured, handing me the things I needed for the week. “Lady Beneviento…”

“Hi, fatty,” Angie said, moving in my arms. “How are you?”

“Great,” he replied, counting the coins I threw at him in an unpleasant manner. “What do you say, Miss? Did you manage to solve last week's riddle?” he asked, looking at my daughter with a sinister smile.

“Of course,” the girl answered, with a smug smile. “The answer is the Sun,” she said, lifting her chin. “Although… there was something wrong with the riddle. Yes, normally the sun rises and sets, but… did you know that there are certain areas of the world where it doesn't rise or set for several months?”

“Oh, I guess I forgot that detail,” the man said, laughing amused at the girl's words. “You got it right again…”

“As always,” Maria said, making a gesture to play it down.

“Come on, we want to see that chocolate bar,” Angie demanded, climbing into Maria's arms while I watched in silence.

“Here you go, Miss…” the Duke sighed amusedly tossing a sweet to the girl, one that she caught gracefully. “I hope I don't make it so easy for you next time.”

“Grazie,” the kid said, kindly. “Mamma, tell him, tell him,” she said, tugging at my dress, somewhat impatiently.

I looked at her and gestured for Angie to come closer.

“That's it, Duke, we want a piano,” I said, speaking through the doll.

“A piano?” the man asked, taking out a small notebook.

“Yes, yes, a piano,” Maria said, jumping on the ground. “I'm going to learn to play it.”

“Oh, that's wonderful, Miss, music is the voice of the soul,” the Duke said, writing something down. “Is an upright piano okay?”

I looked at my daughter, who did the same, nodding.

“Yes, okay,” she said, smiling with satisfaction.

“For your sake, fatso, fatso, I hope you don't fool us,” Angie said, climbing up the carriage and looking at the merchant in a menacing manner. “A nice piano for Maria, is that clear?”

“Like water, Miss Angie,” he said, amused, gesturing for the doll to move away. “Tell me, how do you plan to learn?”

“Well... By myself, I guess, Donna doesn’t know to play it,” my daughter said, making me look at her embarrassed. “Don't be offended, mamma.”

“I see,” the Duke said, looking at me with a mocking smile. “It turns out that I know someone. There is a girl in the village who is an excellent pianist, perhaps, Lady Beneviento, it would be good for your daughter if she gave the little Miss some lessons.”

“A piano teacher?” Maria asked, while I pondered the offer. “That would be great, mamma, say yes, say yes…”

“I don't know, tesoro… I don't like people coming to the house,” I murmured, putting myself at the height of the girl, who made a sad gesture.

“Please…” my daughter begged, putting her hands together.

“Please, please…” Angie said, imitating her gesture.

“Ugh,” I sighed, looking at the Duke, who was impatiently waiting for my answer.

“Well? I promise you won't regret it, my lady,” the merchant said, studying my movements. “I'm convinced that she will get along very well with your offspring.”

“Oh, I…” I muttered, gesturing to Angie, giving up. “Okay,” the doll said, speaking in my voice.

After a few days, the piano arrived at the mansion and, with the unpleasant help of some lycans, I managed to find a suitable place for it. Maria was very excited, but I, not so much. The idea of ​​a gossipy villager entering my house… talking to my little girl… I didn't like it, but just seeing Maria's shining eyes, I got used to it.

“Here she is!” the girl shrieked, running towards the door, which someone had knocked on. It was that disgusting teacher, no doubt. “Vai, mamma!”

“I'm coming,” I said in a whisper, putting on my veil and approaching the door, opening it slowly.

I was expecting to find an old woman, a petulant old woman who was no longer in her prime, but I was petrified. Behind the door, there was a rather young woman, smiling and… beautiful, terribly beautiful.

“H-Hello,” the young woman said, waking me from a reverie. I wasn’t expecting someone like that. “It’s an honor to meet you, Lady Beneviento.”

“Are you the teacher?” Angie asked, speaking for me, uncomfortably studying the girl, who seemed scared by her presence. I don’t blame her.

“Yes, my name is (Y/N),” she said, extending her hand towards me, a hand that I briefly looked at, but didn’t shake, making her withdraw it awkwardly. “Um… well… so you want to learn to play the piano, right?”

“No,” I said with my hoarse voice, while my daughter came out from behind me, looking with the same surprise as me at that girl. “Not me.”

“Hello,” Maria said, with an elegant gesture. “I'm Maria Beneviento, and I'm your new student,” she said with an amused smile, shaking her hand, something I couldn't do.

“Oh, wow, I didn't know that... that it was you,” the young woman said, looking at me and then at the girl, making a small, friendly bow “I thought I was going to teach you, Lady Beneviento.”

“No, my mother doesn't have a clue about music, she only knows how to make dolls,” the girl said, amused, causing me to give her a gentle slap on the shoulder as a reprimand. “Oh, but she makes them very well, I promise.”

“Your mother? You mean...? Are you her daughter?” the pianist asked, looking at me with a frown and a bewildered expression.

“Yes, of course,” the little girl said, guiding the visitor through the house. “Don't you see how much we look alike?” she asked, pointing to the portrait on the stairs.

“Oh, um… is that you?” (Y/N) asked, looking at me and pointing at the portrait. I didn't move, nor did I say a single word, obviously. “W-Wow, your really look alike, you're like two peas in a pod.”

“Isn't that right?” Maria laughed, taking the stranger's hand and leading her into the living room. “This way, (Y/N)”

“I-It's funny. I didn’t know you had a daughter, my lady,” the young woman said, walking towards the piano next to my little girl, looking at me out of the corner of her eye, distrustful.

“Mm,” I murmured, not giving importance to her comment, approaching Maria. “Tesoro, I'm going to the workshop, Angie will stay with you, if something happens…”

“Mamma… non preocuparti,” Maria said, sitting on the stool in front of the piano, next to that unknown girl.

“Va bene,” I whispered, giving one last look to the young woman, who did the same quickly. I could see the fear in her eyes.

Reluctant, but with no other choice, I left them alone.

It must have been an entertaining afternoon, since Angie didn't warn me of any danger, but she did when that girl was about to leave.

“Grazie, (Y/N), see you tomorrow,” Maria said, waving her hand goodbye, while I, suspicious, walked with the young woman to the door.

“Your daughter is very talented, my lady,” (Y/N) commented, before leaving through the door.

“Mm,” I murmured in an impatient tone, wishing she would leave at once.

“Well, she has to practice, but I think she can be a great pianist if she puts her mind to it,” the young woman said, with no intention of leaving. “It's unbelievable that she's just eight years old, she's very intelligent.”

“I know that already,” I whispered impatiently, handing her a bag of coins.

“Oh, um, thanks,” she said, putting them in her purse. “I was surprised that you had a daughter… well, in the village we never…”

“I know,” I cut her words off abruptly, with a tired sigh. “No one has to know about my life.”

“Yes, well, I understand,” she said, scratching the back of her neck. “Forgive my indiscretion, I know it's none of my business but… What about her father?”

The Angie doll, who was listening next to me, began to laugh outrageously, drawing our attention.

“Stupid,” Angie said, pointing at the girl with her finger and pretending to laugh loudly. “You're so stupid… Donna is Maria's mother, get it? She's her mother, she impregnated a maid and…”

“Angie…” I hissed nervously.

“What?” the pianist asked, looking at me and speaking in a small voice when she realized her mistake.

I, nervous and embarrassed, clenched my fists tightly on both sides of my hips.

“Oh, shit, I mean… I understand, oh, I… w-well, I had heard rumors but they seemed… I mean, it's okay, well, there's a huge woman, a fish man… it's not that I find it strange or anything like that, I mean…” she said nervously, not knowing where to run.

I crossed my arms furiously, wanting to make her live the worst of her nightmares, but then I thought of Maria and I restrained myself.

“Shut up,” I demanded with a firm tone. “I advise you to stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong,” I threatened walking a step towards her, making the girl back off.

“I'm sorry. It's just that…” she said, visibly nervous, refusing to look at my face.

“Does my Donna's penis disgust you, silly?” Angie said, making me burn with rage.

“Angie! Taci, taci, taci!” I screamed furiously, kicking the floor. The piano played in the background, Maria was oblivious to the conversation, fortunately.

“What? Oh, no, no, not at all… I have no problem with that,” the pianist said, putting her hands in a position of surrender. “B-besides, I'm just your daughter's piano teacher, I have no intention of snooping in your… business. I was just… I was just curious.”

“Curiosity…” I began in a dark tone, making it clear to that stupid village girl what her place was.

“Killed the cat, I know,” she finished, with a nervous smile. “I just want to say that, well, that… your daughter is great.”

“Mm,” I growled, looking away and closing the door in her face. “Cazzo, Angie…”

The doll, realizing that she had given too much information, ran off towards Maria, who was playing the keys, surely putting into practice what she had learned.

“Look, mamma, I know the scale,” the girl said, gesturing for me to come closer as she softly played the piano.

“Meraviglioso, Maria,” I sighed, relaxing with the soft sound of the instrument.

“So… what do you think?” my daughter murmured, looking at the floor. “About (Y/N).”

“(Y/N)?” I asked annoyed, sighing as I took off my veil. “She's just some ordinary village girl.”

“No, not at all. She's great, she's super smart, and she plays really well, and she's also really beautiful, don't you think, mamma?” Maria said, following me through the mansion.

“Mm, maybe she is,” I commented distractedly. She was right, that girl was very beautiful… but a nuisance too. “Your lessons, Maria, don't forget them,” I said in a motherly tone, pointing to her study books.

The visits from that unpleasant girl continued. Maria learned a lot from (Y/N), although I didn't like to admit it. Little by little I got used to the presence of that nosy villager, maybe too much, since, from time to time, I came up from the workshop to see how she taught my daughter.

They seemed to get along really well, and every day her beauty was much more evident to me, but I didn't give it any importance, she was still an idiot.

“That's it, you learn very quickly Maria,” (Y/N) said as I approached slowly. “It's noticeable that you practice a lot.”

“Of course I do, so I don't forget,” the little girl said, swinging her legs on the stool.

“Um, Maria… I'd like to ask you something,” the teacher whispered, looking around, probably afraid that I would appear.

That made me back off and hide in the shadows. I wanted to hear what that stupid girl was saying about me, I was sure she would say something about me.

“Va bene,” my daughter said, distracted, touching the keys.

“Hey, your mother…” the young woman murmured, attracting my attention even more. “Your mother is a bit scary, isn't she?”

“Mamma Donna?” Maria asked and shook her head. “Not at all, are you scared of my mamma?”

“Um, well,” the girl said, with a nervous smile. “She's a Lord and… well, in the village everyone fears her.”

“Bah, nonsense,” my daughter said, gesturing with her hand. “That's because they don't know her. Donna is nice.”

“Really? Does she take good care of you?” she asked in a more confident tone, something that made me burn with rage.

How could that stupid woman question my way of taking care of my daughter?

“Oh, yes, she is very intelligent, she teaches me many things,” Maria said, making me sigh with relief.

“Um… what about your other mother? Don't you miss her?” (Y/N) asked, making me want to end her existence.

“Not really,” the girl said, lowering her head. “I never got to know her. Mamma Donna told me that she was her maid and that she… abandoned us.”

“Chiudi il becco…” I muttered in a whisper. “Maledizione…”

“Gods, that’s… horrible,” the young woman said, changing her expression.

“Well, it's the past. Donna took care of me and raised me by herself, and I assure you that it must not be easy to do that, and even more so with a daughter like me,” Maria said amused. “I don't usually give her any trouble, but… she has to put up with me.”

“Mm, I see,” (Y/N) said, tenderly stroking Maria's hair. “I see that I was wrong about her, I'm sorry for doubting your mother.”

“It doesn't matter,” Maria said, putting on a strange expression. “People say horrible things about her, but I know they're lies. My mamma is mentally ill, but that doesn't mean she's not a good person, she really is.”

“Yes, I see,” the pianist said, looking back, without seeing me. “If you say so, I believe you…”

“Forgive her if she was abrupt with you,” my daughter said, apologizing for my aggressive attitude. “She's just very lonely. I'm convinced that her character will improve when she meets someone.”

“Mm, maybe, but being alone isn't that bad, you know? I am too,” the young woman said.

“Oh, really?” the little girl asked. “That's interesting…” she murmured, with a tone that forced me to intervene. “Wouldn't you like to meet someone?”

“Well, I…”

“Ahem,” I cleared my throat, walking nervously towards them. (Y/N) looked at me briefly, immediately lowering her head. “It's time, isn't it?”

“Mm, sì, mamma,” Maria said, getting off the stool.

The young pianist stood up with a friendly gesture.

“Your daughter has been great, as always, my lady,” the young woman said, not daring to look at me. “It's a pleasure to teach her.”

“You don't have to be that formal. You can call her Donna, vero, mamma? Maria said, with a slightly strange voice.

“I guess,” I said reluctantly, making the girl laugh nervously.

“W-Well, Donna then,” (Y/N) whispered, with a shy laugh.

“Mamma, do you know that (Y/N) is also alone? What a coincidence, huh?” the girl asked, comically tugging at my dress, putting the stupid villager in a tight spot.

“Maria,” I said in a dark voice. I didn't know why, but that comment made me blush.

“Don't worry, Donna, your daughter is adorable, she just says what she thinks,” the young woman said, picking up the scores.

“Ma, mamma, are you going to let her go?” Maria insisted, making me very nervous. “You should be nice and invite her to tea. She’s been coming here for almost a month.”

“Maria…” I hissed nervously, while (Y/N) laughed again, shaking her head. “Stop annoying her, I’m sure she’ll have better things to do.”

“T-Truth be told,” the pianist said, arching her eyebrows. “I could use some tea, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“Ugh, okay,” I muttered, threatening with my daughter my gaze making her fled with Angie.

That was the beginning of a strange routine. After piano lessons, (Y/N) started to stay with us for a while, having tea, helping Maria with her homework…

Over time, I couldn't say that that stupid girl started to catch my attention, but I did stop thinking that she was... well, stupid. She was a kind, funny girl, who made Maria and Angie laugh, and she was kind to me, kinder than anyone ever was, no one, not even Helga.

I couldn't help but notice a certain conspiracy in my little girl's words and actions, hinting several times at how lonely her poor mother was when I wasn't around, or telling me directly that (Y/N) was single too.

I couldn't blame her for wanting to have what she never had, for wanting another mother, but... it was simply impossible, it would never be possible, although deep down, that pianist girl caught my attention more than I would like to admit.

“Well, I better go, thank you very much for the tea, Donna,” (Y/N) said, after an afternoon of games with Angie and the girl, something of which I was only a spectator. “See you tomorrow, huh, girls?” she said amused, high-fiving Maria and Angie.

“Hey, but it's really late,” my daughter commented, looking out the window. “Hey, (Y/N), why don't you stay for dinner?”

“Oh, for dinner?” the young woman asked blinking and looking for an answer in me. “W-well, I…”

“Don't listen to her,” I said quickly, putting a warning hand on Maria's shoulder.

“Mamma,” the little girl protested, breaking away from my grip while (Y/N) smiled, picking up her coat. “I'm trying to help you.”

“Who asked you for help, brat? Basta,” I hissed sternly but nervously.

“Well… it's true that it's late,” (Y/N) said, oblivious to my reprimands, looking at me shyly. “Maybe it's not a bad idea.”

“Of course it’s not,” Maria said, freeing from my reprimand and taking the young pianist by the hand. “Come, sit down, did you know that la mia mamma cooks like an angel? You'll see.”

“Maria!” I growled, clenching my fists. “What are you...?”

“Show her that what I say is true, vai, Donna,” my daughter said, pushing me by the legs.

I had no choice but to obey, going down to the kitchen to prepare that improvised dinner.

“Mm, where's Maria?” I asked dryly, leaving the food on the table, a table that was only occupied by (Y/N), who looked at me amused, shrugging.

“She told me that she wasn’t hungry and she wanted to leave us alone, you know, so that we could talk about adult stuff.”

“Oh, questa bambina…” I lamented, understanding her intentions.

“I think she's set us up, hasn't she?” the young woman joked, while I, exhausted, served her some wine.

“I'm sorry, I don't know what she was thinking,” I said, apologizing for Maria's behavior. Oh, yes, that girl would get a deserved scolding.

“It doesn't matter, it might be good to get to know each other a bit better,” (Y/N) commented. “Um…” she said, frowning as she saw how, clumsily, I handled my black veil to eat. “Um… Donna, that's not necessary. You don't need it, you can trust me.”

“You'll get scared,” I said nervously, paralyzed.

“No, I won't,” she said, with a lower voice, somewhat trembling.

It was absurd to continue with that nonsense, the best thing would be to scare that stupid girl away so she never came back and stopped… constantly sneaking into my thoughts. With a slow gesture I took off my veil, refusing to see her expression.

“Mm, wow…” the young woman sighed, with a smile that I couldn't interpret. “It's true, you two are exactly the same.”

“Don't pretend. You know I'm horrible,” I said, gripping the fork tightly.

“No, you're not… Let's see… what have you prepared for me?” the girl said, ignoring my hisses and taking a look at the dinner. “Everything looks great.”

“Pici all'amatriciana,” I murmured distrustfully.

“Oh, well, let's check if it's as good as it looks,” she said, rubbing her hands and starting to eat, without erasing that smile from her face.

At first it was a tense, silent dinner, only interrupted by (Y/N)'s praises. Everything seemed wonderful and perfect to her, even… even my face. Little by little, I suppose thanks to the wine, the conversation began to flow naturally. It seemed unlikely, but that girl and I had a lot in common and we even… we even laughed, laughed a lot.

I realized why Maria was so obsessed with her. She was a wonderful girl, kind, funny… and terribly beautiful too.

“I had a great time,” the young woman said with a tender smile as I walked with her to the door. “Really.”

“Yes, um… me too, (Y/N),” I said in a low voice, with a strange blush on my cheeks.

“You know what? I think I now understand your daughter’s insistence on me getting to know you,” she commented distractedly, looking at the floor, turning her ankle on it. “You are a very special woman, Donna.”

“Yes, special is the word,” I said suspiciously, crossing my arms.

The girl laughed, shaking her head and putting a hand on my arm.

“No, what I mean is that… well, I don't regret having gotten to know you,” she whispered in a low voice, leaving behind her words, an awkward moment of silence.

“M-Me neither,” I stammered unintentionally, smiling genuinely.

“See you,” the girl said, removing her hand from my arm with a tender smile, suddenly stepping back. “Oh, bye girls,” she said, waving her hand and looking upstairs, where Angie and Maria were discreetly spying.

“Ciao!” they said in unison when I closed the door, sighing and glancing sideways at my daughter and the doll.

“Cazzo…” I hissed, quickly climbing the stairs while those two mischievous girls fled to their room. “Hey, you two!”

“Oh, mamma, I was going to sleep,” Maria said, putting on her pajamas in a hurry.

“No, young lady, what were you thinking?” I asked, annoyed by the trick, with my hands on my hips. “Who taught you to conspire like that?”

“Um…” the girl murmured, looking unintentionally at Angie, who hid under the sheets. “I only did it for you, mamma, so that you are not alone anymore.”

“Oh, cavolo…” I lamented, with a hand on my forehead. “Maria, tesoro, you don't have to decide those things for me, do you hear me? They are adults’ matters.”

“I know but… I think you two get along wonderfully,” the girl said with an almost pleading voice. “And you two are alone…”

“Maria…”

“Besides, dinner was a complete success, you even took off your veil,” she said with an amused smile, climbing into bed while I reluctantly tucked her in. “Although you have to improve your conversation, you're very clumsy, mamma.”

“That I’m…?” I asked, feigning offense. “Well, it doesn't matter.”

“Don't you like (Y/N)? Not even a little?” Maria asked in a sleepy voice, rubbing her eyes.

“Um, I… W-Well I… yes, I like her,” I admitted embarrassed, with a sob. “But tesoro, that's not…”

“She likes you, she speaks very well of you,” she sighed, exhausted, closing her eyes. “Mamma.”

“Mm?”

“If I could go back in time and choose… I would like (Y/N) to be my other mother…” she said in a sleepy whisper, without really being aware she had said it.

I sighed, moved by her words and approached to kiss her on the forehead, thoughtful.

“Mm, I'm not surprised that you want it, tesoro... (Y/N) is... wonderful.”

Admitting that I had feelings for (Y/N) took me longer than I thought, but I couldn't help it. Without wanting to, knowing that there would never be another chance to feel love, to believe in it, I did it, I fell in love with her, madly.

Dinners were common, laughter, too. Sometimes we were alone and sometimes Angie and Maria accompanied us, making the laughter increase more and more. I began to wish for those visits, to get sad when that girl left. There was tension between us, I could notice it, I could notice her bright gaze in mine, silent pauses in which neither of us knew what to say.

Too much pressure and I was too much of a coward.

“You have to do it, mamma,” my little girl told me, while I waited for (Y/N) to arrive, walking around the living room and shaking my head.

“I can't do it…” I sighed, rejecting her proposition again.

“If you don't tell (Y/N) how you feel about her, she'll never know, imagine if she meets someone,” the girl said walking exactly like me.

“It's not that easy, Maria, you'll realize when you're older,” I said in a dark, nervous voice.

“I don't want to lose the opportunity to have another mom just because you're a coward!” the girl protested, nervous, impatient.

I turned around abruptly, gritting my teeth and crouching down next to my daughter, grabbing her by the collar of her dress.

“You think I don't know!? Huh?” I screamed furiously while my daughter, scared, covered herself with her hands.

“Mamma,” she said trembling, making me react.

“Gods… tesoro, I'm sorry,” I said, placing her dress and caressing her cheek.

Maria nodded slowly, comforting my nerves with a tender hug.

“I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to tell her that… that I love her,” I murmured, with the girl's warm hands in mine, controlling my madness.

“Calm down, mamma, I'll think of something,” she said, giving me a kiss on the cheek and going to the door, since (Y/N) had already arrived.

The smiles danced between us again. I had long since gotten used to staying in the living room while (Y/N) taught Maria, to watch her fingers caress the keys, to see her beautiful and tender face, the incredibly sweet way she treated my baby…

“Well, very well, mate,” (Y/N )said when Maria showed her what she had learned. “I think we can move on to something more complicated.”

“Yeah, hey, (Y/N),” Maria said, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. “I thought… I've never heard you play… you know, a whole song. I'm sure my mamma would really like to hear you.”

“Would her?” the young woman asked, looking at me with blushing cheeks.

I looked at her and nodded slowly, tilting my head.

“Mm, okay, well… let me see…” the girl said, searching through her folder of music. “Let's see… Oh, what do you think of this one? It has your name on it,” (Y/N) said, handing a sheet to my daughter, who looked at it carefully.

“Oh, yeah, this one is perfect,” Maria said with wide eyes, looking at me over the paper with a knowing smile.

“Ahem, well…” (Y/N) coughed as Maria stood up to sit next to me.

“Di niente,” my daughter whispered with a discreet clearing of the throat, making me frown.

“Cosa?” I asked, silenced by a nudge.

“Shh… ascolta, mamma.”

The music started to play, and I recognized it immediately.

“Ave Maria…”  (Y/N) began to sing, letting me discover her beautiful voice, the most beautiful I had ever heard. “Gratia plena… Ave, ave Dominus…”

My mind immediately transported itself to several decades ago, before Mother Miranda, before the Black Gods, when I was just a girl, a tormented girl. Yes, I remembered those times when villagers were allowed to profess the faith they chose as long as they lived with the dark deities.

They were difficult times, but nothing compared to my current life.

I remember my family singing that song at Christmas, on special occasions. My mother, my father, my little sister, my grandparents… all of us together, like a vision of what once was and never came back.

I couldn't help but let a tear run down my face as I remembered, as I imagined what would have become of me if Miranda had never been so ambitious, if my life hadn't changed, if my body hadn't changed and Maria had never been born.

No, Maria wasn't a mistake, she was the best thing that ever happened to me, my little laughing baby who wondered where her mother was, what had happened to her.

I regret many things, my little Maria, but not having you as a daughter.

I remembered those sleepless nights with inconsolable cries, I remember losing my nerves, my mind, and I remembered… I remembered how I rocked my little Maria, how I sang to her to make her fall asleep in my arms, how I sang that song to her, that Ave Maria, by Schubert…

Damn clever girl, she knew it, she knew that the melody, those words in Latin would touch my soul. I'm proud of you, tesoro.

Slowly, unable to move voluntarily, I got up from the couch while (Y/N) played and sang, approaching her, sitting next to her on the stool. She looked at me, still singing, but smiling.

I looked at the keys, bringing my hand closer to them and looking for a sign to continue. The young woman nodded, with a tender smile.

“Nunc et in hora mortis…” we sang at the same time while playing the keys. It had been a long time since I had done it. “Et in hora mortis nostrae… Ave… Maria…”

“Great!” Maria said, clapping enthusiastically along with Angie.

I paid no attention to her, my eye were fixed on (Y/N)'s and hers on mine.

“Wow, Maria told me you didn't know how to play it,” she whispered after a tense moment, without moving from my uncomfortable proximity.

“W-Well, I don't know as much as you… I'm quite rusty,” I said with a honeyed, but nervous voice.

“Angie, let's go,” Maria said, looking at me and winking, taking the doll's hand that was protesting in a childish way.

“I-I used to sing this to Maria as a lullaby,” I said, daring to break that silence. “It brings back memories to me.”

“It must have been very difficult to raise a girl on your own, right?” (Y/N) commented, playing nervously with her hands.

“Yes, it was but… it was worth it,” I said with a smile, looking at the corner where Maria ran off to.

“Yes, of course, she's an amazing girl, Donna,” the young woman said, looking away.

“Yes, I… (Y/N) I…” I stammered, with a cold sweat running down my forehead, hitting the keys unintentionally. “I'm sorry, I… I want to tell you that… when you're here I… I feel, I feel like smiling again, and seeing you leave… It makes me sad.”

The girl laughed embarrassed, lowering her gaze but letting me continue and gain enough courage to extend my trembling hand to hers, which she let me do, interlacing our fingers.

“I would understand if you said no but… I don't know, (Y/N), maybe… maybe you'd like… not to leave again.”

“Mamma! Don't tell her that! It's creepy!” Maria, who was, of course, spying, shrieked.

“Oddio… go to your room!” I shrieked nervously without taking my hand off (Y/N)'s.

“Donna,” the pianist said, putting a hand on my cheek, turning my face towards hers. “Do you want me to stay? With you?”

“I… yes…” I said looking down, something I couldn't really do, since her hand prevented me from doing so. “I want you to stay… with me, with us and…”

I couldn't continue speaking, since her lips collided with mine without warning, kissing me deeply, slowly, in a sweet and addictive way.

Without wanting to do so, I pulled away, blinking confused, looking at her sweet smile, her eyes shining as she looked at me.

“I'm in love with you, (Y/N),” I finally confessed, throwing myself back into her slow, wet kisses, into her laughter that bounced off my lips, tickling them.

“You're a wonderful woman, Donna Beneviento,” (Y/N) whispered. “I'm crazy about you… And… well, I wouldn't mind staying with you. Well, I would like that you and Maria… were my family…”

“Really?”

“Really”

“Great!” Maria shrieked, running into (Y/N)'s arms, catching her off guard. “See, mamma? It wasn't that hard.”

“Oh, taci,” I said amused, shaking my head.

“It's the happiest day of my life,” my daughter said, hugging us both. “I love you!”

“Hey, come on, stop bothering,” I said, lowering her to the floor lovingly.

“Certo... I have to talk to Angie... my little sibling is getting closer...”

[captainsbaby]

A wet cat.

That’s what you said he looked like. The up-and-coming villain known as Dabi would have burnt you. If he could’ve, of course.

The burnt skin on his wrists had rolled up like sleeves. It detached itself from its fastening staples, revealing flesh. The purple skin on his side had split open. Some sections of tissue were charred black, while others were pink and bloody. Bleeding.

His blood, the only reminder he had that his heart was still beating inside his ribcage. Red as anyone else’s, and still flowing though his limbs.

It was also as red as his father’s hair. As red as his own hair had been.

Seeing the red of his own blood evoked a strange flurry of emotions that he had no desire to detangle. As long as he kept ahold of his rage he could keep going.

Unless he dies of blood loss before he can achieve his goal, of course.

Which is why, when you walk up calling him a wet cat and offer your hand, he accepts it.

Your apartment isn’t far, but with Dabi’s injuries it takes four times as long as it should have. Blood droplets litter the ground, pooled in the spots his gate paused.

You sit him down on the closed toilet lid, bandaging his arms and torso with practiced ease. You’re not acting how he expected. Dabi is used to people being afraid of him. He knows that the grotesqueness of his stolen skin is the first thing people notice about him. He knows that people don’t want to be around him. Even the other small-time villains he runs into recoil when they get close. Dabi, after one-too-many encounters marred by his skin, stopped letting anyone get close to him.

He hadn’t been emotionally close to another since he was a child, but now he avoided physical proximity too. He had been lonely since he died, the emptiness only getting worse as he got older.

Which is why when you touched him with your gentle, healing hands, he would have cried had his tear ducts not been fused shut by his own flames.

He takes a moment to slow his racing heart before asking you the question that had been bubbling in his head since you first spoke to him.

“Couldn’t you compare me to anything else?”

At his question, you pause before looking him dead in the eyes for the first time since you extended your hand to the stranger.

“Nope!” you sang, before closing the medicine cabinet and walking through the bathroom doorway, leaving the mildly offended villain staring at your back.

Written by @/CaptainsBaby on Tumblr in 2024 <3

I do not consent to my writing being republished in any way without my express written permission.

[chaifootsteps]

So. For thousands of years upper ranked angels were totally fine with genocide and the only reason they changed their mind was because of a pathetic sob story that lasted less than a minute and could have still been a lie (it’s not but why on earth would these angels believe him)

I’m honestly so baffled by this scene. Does Vivziepop SERIOUSLY anyone would find it emotional? You’d think it would be something more sympathetic like “I helped Jack the Ripper harm countless innocent women because he providing protection for me and my sick child” or maybe to fit the snake motif, Pentious was constantly betraying his friends to protect himself and his family… something like that? Like yeah it’s corny but you get his motivations and do feel bad for him. Here he just. Doesn’t do anything because he’s scared and lonely? And SERA CRIES????

Also I was one of the few people who liked his alternate voice but now I’m sick of it

It makes no sense and I feel you on the voice. It's one of the better ones, but good lord, I'm just so sick of hearing Alex Brightman.

[myechoecho]

Love Game in Eastern Fantasy, ep 10 & 11

I'm behind a couple episodes but some quick thoughts on ep 10& 11.

I loved how Miaomiao was the one who helped him come back to himself and break the water bubble

I am 95% sure there was kiss of some sort in that bubble and i demand a flashback

The promise to always find her and never leave her behind will definitely come back into play in the future.

I adore the excuse for holding hands. His affection for her is at 50%!!

Ziqi is a socially awkward dork who is just really messed up and lonely. He was left alone as a child, adopted into his sister's family where he does have any acceptance except with with his sister. He's part demon and desperately wants to hide that. But he's now part of a Demon Hunter clan so he becomes a Demon Hunter, essentially hunting his own kind. No wonder he isolated himself with everyone except his sister. Miaomiao is right - he needs therapy

However, when Miaomiao is hurt by the Water Demon Queen (she's not even that hurt), Ziqi does not even hesitate. He immediately removes the head band to deal with the Water Demon Queen. He's so terrified of people seeing his demon form but that does not matter when someone hurts Miaomio.

Again, Miaomiao is the one to bring him back to himself, or calm him when he is in his Demon form. He listens when she tells him to stop chasing.

She offers to put the hairband back on him and he lets her, even going so far as to kneel so she has an easier time of it. He absolutely trusts her with this part of himself.

Miaomiao understands him well enough by now to know that he will need reassurance. He hates his demon form. So she comforts him, tells him it is okay and that he did great. He is not a monster.

MY HEART

It occurs to me that the view of demons in this world may be a bit skewed. Cuicui is harmless and sweet (if anything happens to him I will riot). The two water demons were also harmless originally, minding their own business on their mountain until they were hunted. It was that action that caused them to go bad.

There must be some bigger reason behind the hunting of the demons. Sure, some are probably bad naturally. But it seems like more are just like people - some are good, some are bad. It's just that they have magical powers.

I hope to be caught up soon.

[changbinsboobs]

Tarot Reading: Do Skz want kids? How many? Maknae Line

Finally the long awaited continuation🙌🏻

Han

He does for sure but he's not very sure on how many, and when. There's moments that he's really into the whole love story and baby fever and wants a big wild happy chaotic family with 5 kids or something, then there's monents he just welcomes the idea and thinks its a nice thing for the future and would like to have a NORMAL amount of kids, like 2, one girl one boy, and then theres moments where all of a sudden he gets very hesitant or doesn't think about it at all for the forseeable future as he's so focused on his work and gaining more success and going higher in his career. So i guess he's like most young people in his age regarding the topic😅

Felix

He wants kids FOR SURE! And im seeing him also wanting 2 maybe, so they're don't get lonely and have each others back. Im hearing, 3 is a crowd, and 1 is so lonely, 2 is just perfect. Not seeing much else there.

Seungmin

He really, really wants to have kids. I swear if that guy comes out with news for getting married or being married any time in the upcoming years i won't be surprised at all, his vibes is one if a married man in almost all of the readings i do. So he really wants to be a father im seeing and im seeing that he would prefer to have just one child he can put all his focus on. I think he really wants to be able to focus well on his child and sees it as a "project". He really wants to build a good, capable human being thats gonna be a wonderful addition to society. And he thinks he can do that better if its just one kid he has to focus on and wants to do his best as a father and gibe his most and feels like if he were to have more kids he would be able to give 100% to either one of them.

I.N

He definitely wants kids in the future, im seeing 3, maybe he would even have more if his wife was down for it or if they could adopt. I thinks he's the only one (if i remember correctly) that wouldn't mind adopting and might even try in the future if his wife isn't down for birthing so many kids. Or if she doesn't want to give birth at all, im seeing him being totally down for adopting and it not being a big deal for him at all.

[willsimpforanyone]

Hello! I'm not sure if you are taking requests right now, but I'd you are could you do something with a daughter of medusa who us almost or fully blind and everyone avoids her except for percy who has a crush on her? Can end however ypu would like :).

And remember to take of yourself and drink water!!! ❤️

thank u my lovely <3 hope u enjoy

i do have bad vision but i am not blind, so i apologise for inaccuracies,

-----------------------------

medusa was blessed with a daughter

gorgeously thick, curly hair, strong as hell, brought up by your mother as best she could

she was so happy when you opened your eyes as a baby and no one you looked at turned to stone

her curse was not yours!

it only took a moment for her to realise her curse had a different effect on you

you were not cursed, but as a side effect of being medusa's child, you were almost completely blind

growing up, you never realised there was anything too different about you

why would you? your mother raised you and she kept her eyes covered most of the time, she knew how to live as a blind woman in a seeing world

things got worse as you got older, and around 10 years old is when it got really bad

the monsters were relentless, and even medusa hiding you away didn't seem to help with the nightmares

so, when you were 12, she brought you to the camp

chiron was hesitant, but knew you meant no harm - you were a scared, lonely kid, like so many others before you

kinda for the first time, you were interacting with people who could see

it wasn't hard to guess who your mother was, and apparently that was enough for the other kids to reject you immediately

you learned to wear sunglasses or some kind of fabric over your eyes, otherwise some kid would start screaming

the first couple years of teenhood were rough

of course. you learned to live with it

you learned to become incredibly spacially aware, to be able to walk into a room and know exactly how many people there were and where they were standing

there were some kids who were alright, some from the athena cabin were civil despite their mom being the one who cursed yours

occasionally, though, there was a kid called percy

a son of posiden, who you were suitably wary enough of (again, considering the story)

he came to camp a little before you did, and was off on a quest when you actually arrived

it was an odd introduction

"hi, i'm percy, i kinda killed your mom"

you had shrugged, fingers still trailing over the book in front of you

"i know. she sent me an iris message from the underworld. it's not the first time someone's killed her, she'll be back in a few days"

the silence that followed was one of awkward expectation, and you snorted a laugh. "dude, chill out, i don't care anymore"

he'd hesitantly accepted your acceptance and had left, and you'd thought that would be the end of it

to your surprise, he would come back and talk

a friendship blossomed over the next couple years, something that was new to you

you genuinely liked him

he didn't ask questions about being blind all the time, he didn't scream when your sunglasses slipped down your nose, he seemed to automatically let you know what he was doing and where he was in your space

with him came grover, the somewhat nervous satyr who calmed down once annabeth, percy's other friend, slapped the back of his head when he asked if your hair was just a bunch very thin snakes

this was more friends than you'd had in your life, and it was kind of incredible

annabeth got some books in greek braille, and together you discovered that it was easier for you to read - the ancient greek hardwire was still very much present in your brain, even if you couldn't see the letters

percy, however, went the extra mile every time

every activity you were hesitant about, he was right there with you, describing the new areas, offering to help but never touching you or giving advice unless you asked first

any time something changed with the camp, whether it was a part of the forest or the layout of the camp itself, he'd go with you to explore the differences to change the mental map you had in your head

late nights were reserved for sitting together around a campfire, maybe with grover and annabeth, maybe not

but they were a time for you to ask questions instead

what colour were the new swords? what does bronze look like? is the red of the strawberries as sweet as they taste?

he would answer as best he can, trying to explain from every angle, like trying not to use other colours to explain another colour

one night, in your fourth year of camp, you got up the courage to ask him the question you'd been wanting to ask him forever

"percy? what do i look like?"

there was a pause, and you knew he had turned to look at you by the rustling of his hair

...a minute passes, and you shift in your seat

"you don't have to tell me, it's fine, forget i asked-"

"no!"

he interrupts you, blurting out a protest a little louder than he intended

he continues, clearing his throat

"no, i just- would it be okay if you took your sunglasses off? so i can give you the best description?"

in answer, you slipped off your sunglasses, hanging them in the neck of your t-shirt

all you could see was a faint warm, orange-yellow glow from the fire

percy takes a breath

"okay, here goes- you're beautiful. i-i know that isn't much but... you look warm. like the feeling of coming back to our cabin at the end of a really good day, tired but happy, and everything is quiet and calm and cosy and you know you're gonna sleep so good. you look like sunsets over the sea, like someone has managed to set the horizon on fire but, y'know. less dangerous than setting fire to things."

you laugh, subconsciously leaning against his shoulder with your heart trying to keep pace with the butterflies in your stomach

"yeah? i look warm?"

his voice is almost a whisper

"right now, yeah. the firelight is reaching out over the grass to touch you, preferring to have you warm than the trees around us. if we were regular teenagers, we could be telling scary stories"

i rest my hand, palm up, on his knee, a silent way of telling him to give me his hand

he does so, and i link our fingers together tightly, a 'thank you' that we don't need to hear

"percy?"

"yeah?"

"what do you look like right now?"

another pause, and he squeezes my fingers gently

"i think... right now, i look like i'm completely in love with you"

my head lifts from his shoulder, head turned to him as if i need to hear him better, like we aren't side to side, holding hands

"you... what?"

he breathes a shaky laugh, and i feel his hand move to pause just over my cheek

"sorry, that wasn't a great description, but i couldn't think of anything else to say. can i put my hand on your cheek?"

slowly, i nod, feeling his warm palm settle against my skin, his thumb brushing over my cheek

"please say no if you don't want me to," he whispers, voice nervous but also filled with hope

"but can i please kiss you?"

i don't need to be able to see to know how big he smiles when i say "yes"

------------------------

i hope that was okay? i tried my best, if anyone has an issue with it or wants me to correct something, let me know!

[hemi-demi]

Not to mention that Martin had essentially planned all this in advance, having exactly what he needed to most likely spare Jon either a worse leg injury, or being absolutely consumed from the worms in his leg.

Martin is cunning and acts well under pressure. If he had more confidence in those abilities, he would genuinely make a good leader, but is held back by people pleasing tendencies that he loses later on (and man, do you love to see it.)

It's worth pointing out that Jon's way of doing things isn't entirely without merit. Because Jon acts first and thinks later in a lot of these cases, he's often the first responder. In the case of Daisy, his willingness to throw himself into the coffin with half a plan was foolish, but most likely saved her life. Any longer down there alone without someone to keep her tethered and she could have been lost forever. Everyone else sat on their hands, but Jon acted, and Jon saved her. And, in turn, Martin saved him.

Same with the Lonely. He had no idea what would be waiting for him, or if he could manage it. But everyone else who wasn't busy fighting the Hunters sat on their hands, and Jon acted. And Jon saves Martin.

It's one of the reasons I think they work so well. Jon needs someone to keep him grounded and pick him up when he inevitably falls on his face, but Jon is the one charging into dangerous situations and ultimately does help people, even if that help was used against him by Elias.

It's sort of solidified to me in this moment in particular, with Jon ready to throw himself into the Eyepocalypse:

Jon was just ready to just bolt out the door, and Martin had already packed the go-bags knowing Jon would eventually come around to charging into the unknown.

Idk how to end this. I am clearly not well about them. Martin is cool af, especially in season 5 and I will die on that hill.

And Jon, while impulsive as all fuck, isn't a helpless child screwing everything up. Even if Jon's actions served Elias's needs, Jon still helped people. A lot more than people give him credit for.

You know, I don't think we've discussed enough the fact that when all the worms broke through the wall and entered the archives, Jon froze. Sasha was pleading for him in the background to take charge and tell them all what to do, but it was Martin who took the reins and lead them to document storage where they would be safe. Martin is much better at making split-second decisions than Jon is--and while he'd probably argue it was only to protect them, he's better at leading than he gives himself credit for.

[headofhelios]

when i was a kid the idea of like surprise birthday parties was so like. idk i wanted it and it never happened but now its actually like. gonna happen to me but at a really really bad time when i am going to be very stressed and whatever the surprise thing is will probably make it worse so its like. hmm. early birthday gift of being nauseous with anxiety a month in advance

[little-pondhead]

I have a simple fascination and joy in the thought that, for the Ghost King AU, most of the time Danny is literally so normal compared to other ghosts.

Like, he’s a kid. He looks like a kid. Going by canon appearances, he is the most human looking ghost we see (aside from Ellie). Even Plasmius is more inhuman, which is where all the vampire jokes come from. Every single one of this enemies is off even in a human disguise. They’re not human, and people don’t expect them to be.

So aside from the implications of Danny looking like a child ghost, I wonder what other characters would think if they summon the Ghost King, expecting this huge monstrosity worse than anything they’ve ever seen, and getting a totally normal human-looking kid.

I’d be terrified. Because if horror movies have taught us anything, it’s that the most innocent and normal looking people are the worst monsters you’ve ever seen.

Like, what is he hiding??

[wonderfull-star]

I like that face Dev makes.

He just a smol baby 🥺

[shatcey]

I don't pretend to know what happened at the time, just sharing my thoughts. Slight spoilers for Alfons and Elbert's routes.

All the people in Elbert's life find him extremely attractive. He is very handsome, sweet and kind… And back then he was such a sad and lonely child. So no wonder they wanted to help. I think the maids and butlers had the best intentions at first. They were very worried about him and tried to comfort him. Maybe it all starts with simple touches… held hands, stroked his hair, sang a lullaby, and so on. But then he didn't stop them, they gradually became more daring and excessive in showing their affection. Their desire to help him turned into a desire to possess him. Obsessive love.

Ally didn't prevent this (and he could have intervened, he was and remains a very cunning boy), because he really thought it would be better for Elbert. He said it himself in the dramatic mad love ending of Elbert's route.

I still don't quite understand why Ally thinks he's partly to blame for Elbert becoming like this. Maybe because he indulged his obsession, allowed him to nurture his greed. Maybe. But… No matter why he thinks that, Ally always makes decisions in Elbert's best interests. It is not so easy to notice, even he himself doesn't consider his actions as kindness, but he does care. Very much so.

I guess no matter which character I start with, I'll always end up praising Ally...

(Slight spoiler for Elbert's route)

Alfons saying that the maids and butlers might have started with good intentions always struck me as odd.

Like, I don't think it's horribly out of character but there was a nagging feeling in my head that there has to be a reason why he's saying this. I assumed it was some sort of weird coping mechanism of, like, trying to see the best in people or something. Or trying to make a joke distract from how dark the topic is. I dunno.

And then today I thought about how usually he tries to help people out in... his own unique way. Obviously, no where NEAR the same thing. They are very different situations and the maids and butlers deserve to go to hell and die a thousand deaths.

But I feel like he has experience with trying to help, having good intentions, only for it to make things worse. Which might be why he says this to Kate, other than the obvious reason that he knows Elbert enough to know that helping might hurt him more.

[esdeaths]

Are you telling me that the "legendary battle" gloreth waged against the monsters was just a child raising a play sword against their shapeshifting best friend because her village was scared of them and now an entire civilization is built on the ideaolgy of a glorious knight fighting a great evil thats only based on the fear of a very small group of people 1000 years ago

[uncanny-tranny]

I think what might actually help the families of trans loved ones is to actually engage with where the trans person is at - especially if the family isn't quite understanding yet. When I came out, I was completely alone in figuring out my manhood. I had peers and I had exposed myself to so many trans people who explored gender, and while it was amazing, it isn't quite the same at times. I grieve quietly, sometimes, about all the missed opportunities that might have just made it easier for my family to have seen how utterly happy I was. It took them a very long time to actually notice that I was happy, especially once I got on testosterone. I'm lucky that they saw that happiness eventually, and slowly accepted it. My manhood is completely detached from their influence, both to my relief and chagrin. It's sad to me that I learned to shave from a kind online stranger, somebody who didn't even have a father and yet, I do. I have a father. I grieve at the loss of a potential shared experience. I grieve about the pain I went through when I was in that stage of transition, especially because it was raw and vulnerable. I grieve that many trans people today are traversing the path I had to, because it's sometimes lonely (even when you do have other forms of support).

It's hard to know that I will never have gotten my sense of being from my family. In many ways, it has severed a lot of connection with them because there were so many times that I was begging them to see happiness when they were focused on the idea that I was almost in a state of purgatory - flesh which felt warm but held no familiarity to them. I don't harbor ill-will toward them, I hope I don't leave the impression that I despise them. I understand what they felt, even if I can't conceptualize it myself. However, it's a raw wound in my heart, and I don't want to leave anybody else feeling that way, either.