#im done spiralling at least for right now

[storm-of-feathers]

👍

[indigodawns]

.

[the-ash-holio]

That feeling once you finally say fuck it and clean non-stop for 13 hours straight, after letting yourself fall into a hole for.... months.

It feels good to hate this place a little less now. I'm proud of myself.

[littlelamy]

rafe spiraling at the house party because you’re there with your new bf and he’s jealous and he’s all like “if you wanna whisper some bullshit behind my back why don’t you just say it to my face” and he hates that smug look on your face it infuriates him. the fact that you’re able to move on from him and his blood boils just thinking about it

a/n: im think of making a pt.2 where he begs to get you back but idk🤭 thank you for sending a request!!

the music’s pounding in your chest, the low hum of conversation filling the air as you laugh at something your boyfriend just said. you feel a bit lighter tonight, like you can breathe, finally moving on from all the chaos rafe brought into your life. but as you glance across the room, you lock eyes with him, and all that ease disappears.

rafe is leaning against the kitchen counter, jaw tight, eyes dark. he’s been staring at you for the longest, barely blinking, his grip so tight on the cup in his hand you’re surprised it hasn’t shattered. he looks furious, like he can barely keep it together.

"fuckin’ knew she was gonna be here," you hear him mutter to topper, his voice slurred with alcohol and anger. topper shakes his head, tries to calm him down, but rafe’s already in his head, spiraling.

you can see the storm brewing from across the room, but you don’t care. at least, you tell yourself you don’t. you stand a little closer to your boyfriend, let your hand brush his arm, all while keeping an eye on rafe. you know what he’s like when he’s pissed off, and tonight’s no exception.

suddenly, rafe pushes off the counter, stumbling forward until he’s in the middle of the room. his eyes never leave you. the noise of the party dulls, or maybe it’s just that all your attention is on him now, the way he’s zeroed in on you like you’re the only thing keeping him tethered to this moment.

he doesn’t stop until he’s standing right in front of you, his chest heaving like he’s holding back every insult he’s been dying to spit out.

"if you wanna whisper some bullshit behind my back, why don’t you just say it to my face?" he growls, slapping his cheek. his voice is venomous, dripping with jealousy, and his eyes flick from you to your boyfriend, barely concealing the rage underneath.

your boyfriend stands a little taller, his arm shifting like he’s about to say something, but you place a hand on his chest, stopping him before he gets involved. this isn’t his fight.

“what’s your problem, rafe?” you ask calmly, that smug smile already tugging at your lips because you know exactly what’s driving him insane. you can see it, feel it radiating off him—he can’t stand seeing you with someone else.

rafe steps closer, the scent of alcohol strong on his breath. “my problem?” he scoffs, taking another step forward until he’s right in your face. “my fuckin’ problem is you, princess. standing here with the punk like it doesn’t even fuckin’ matter.”

topper’s behind him, pulling at his shoulder, whispering something in his ear, but rafe shrugs him off like he doesn’t even feel it. “get the fuck off me,” he snaps, brushing topper’s hand away. “i’m not done.”

you stay rooted in place, meeting his gaze without flinching. he hates that, how unfazed you seem, like you’re not even bothered by his presence.

“you don’t scare me anymore, rafe,” you say, voice steady but laced with a bitterness that matches his anger. “you don’t get to control me.”

“control?” rafe’s eyes narrow. “i wasn’t tryin’ to control shit. i was tryin’ to fuckin’ love you, and you—” he stops himself, jaw clenching, his fists balling at his sides as he grits out, “you just threw it all away.”

the smugness in your smile only grows. “i threw it away?” you laugh under your breath, stepping closer to him, closing the gap so it’s just you and him in this moment. you lean in, your lips brushing his ear as you whisper, “you should’ve treated me right when you had me.”

rafe stiffens at your words, his breath catching in his throat as you pull back, locking eyes with him. he doesn’t say anything for a second, just stares at you like he’s trying to figure out what to do with all the emotions flooding his system. his blood is boiling, you can practically see it in the way his skin flushes, the way his hands tremble.

“fuck you,” he mutters, his voice barely above a whisper. his eyes flash with something dark, something dangerous. “you’ll come back. you always do.”

topper’s back at his side now, grabbing him with more force, dragging him away from you before things get any worse. rafe fights it for a second, his eyes still locked on you, but eventually, he stumbles back, letting topper pull him out of the room.

but even as he’s led away, you can feel the intensity of his gaze on you. his world is spiraling, crashing down, and all because of you.

taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0

[strawberries-and-summer-days]

WE'RE... WHAT?? ‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅

| percy jackson x popstar au

| au masterlist ☽

summary:

warnings: swearing and i think thats just about it!

a/n: part two of the series is out! im procrastinating the shit out of all my other requests so im not ignoring any of you btw!! lets all collectively ignore the fact that gracie like a post that has a lyric from her song (also damn im really just smashing out these fics)

"y/n has officially flitted off to boston!" clarisse announces suddenly from chris's lap.

"huh?" grover's head snaps up. "what do you mean?"

"y/n l/n, she's come to boston for her concerts," clarisse says showing her phone screen.

"you have got to be shitting me," chris says. "this is going to end terribly. seriously? here? boston? percy's gonna shit himself."

"oh really why would you think that?" clarisse drawls. "it's not like they don't like each other, they're like besties!"

"and y'know to make things worse y/n's setlist has been posted for months so we legit could've avoided her," chris sighs.

"yeah well, next time you see percy and he comes home grumbling about a business meeting in boston you deal with it then," grover argues.

"okay all of you shut it, percy's coming inside with luke so shhh," clarisse snaps.

"shh about what?" luke asks settling down on the couch next to grover.

"you'll never believe who's in boston!" grover sing songs. it doesn't take luke very long to work out who and his eyes widen in realisation

"no."

"yes."

"well shit."

"yep."

"we're in for a show."

☾. ⋅

percyjackson

liked by underovergrover, chris.rodriguez, lukecastellan, clarisse.la.rue, the.annabethchase and 1, 402, 385 others

percyjackson hello boston! one non-reschedulable meeting later and here we are...

view all comments

underovergrover i expect full compensation for making those pizzas WHICH YOU TOOK CREDIT FOR

percyjackson YOU DID NOT! I MADE HALF OF THOSE - MINE WERE BETTER

clarisse.la.rue no they weren't

percyjackson 🖕🏼

user1 ugh im in love

user2 omggg he's in boston!! so is y/n l/n!! are they following each other around?

user3 PLS I WOULD DIE MAKE THIS A THING

user4 i wonder if he's going to a concert here?? 😏

user5 does anyone else find it weird how his entire friend group follows him around?? no just me? they're just a huge freak show

user6 booooo we dont like haters here

user7 y/n l/n and percy neeeeed to happen rnnnn

user8 YES YES YES

lukecastellan im so ready to be done with this shit and go home

theannabethchase aww is someone feeling homesick?

lukecastellan yes obviously

user8 i. love. him.

☾. ⋅

"see i told you this would happen!" grover screeches, running away from percy who is threatening to castrate him if he doesn't get his phone back.

"i don't care! just give me the damn thing back!"

percy had groaned for two straight minutes when he found out that y/n was in boston this weekend - he had also face planted onto the couch and used some extremely obscene words.

"if it helps at least you'll be leaving on sunday," chris had offered in the midst of his crisis. it didn't help.

so now when grover trips over a fallen pillow - which may or may not be from percy's tantrum but we don't talk about that - and percy wrenches the phone from him a loud - and might grover add overtly girly - scream.

"WHAT THE FUCK? NO! NO NO NO NO!"

his screen is on the article grover had opened with really poorly photoshopped images of percy and y/n walking together. every gossip site/blog has swarmed the photos and circulated them sending the internet into a spiral.

"im fucking done with this grover," percy groans flopping onto the couch. "its a good thing we're leaving tomorrow - we'll be back in new york thats a huge ass city i wont see y/n there again and i can just go into hibernation, let all the rumours die down and be done with this whole shit show."

if only right....

☾. ⋅

☾. ⋅

yn.official

liked by sabrinacarpenter, lia.mandel, gracieabrams and 932, 841 others

yn.official feel like maybe i might go to boston! you were the best audience and im honoured to have performed for you these past two nights! heading home now to rest and recharge for the final shows in new york

view all comments

lia.mandel yayy you're finally coming home i missed you 🥺

yn.official bitch please its been like a week

lia.mandel and every second of it has been torture

user1 MOTHERRRR

user2 i think i nearly fainted when she came up on stage i was so happy i coulda died right then-

user3 the lyric makes me so happyyy

user4 ikrr y/n is like the queen of lyrics and the way she sneakily adds them into her posts 🤭

user5 WERE YOU WITH PERCY JACKSON THIS WEEKEND?? 🤨 I NEED TO KNOW

user6 y/n and percy are my dream celebrity ship

user7 they'd be the biggest power couple in history

user8 can you hard launch with percy plss?? i dont care if its fake i just need content to feed my delusions!

☾. ⋅

lia's soft snores fill the plane aggravating the hell out of you. usually you'd find the way she curled up in a ball underneath a blanket and snored quietly to be adorable. but since you're tired, just finished performing a concert and there's a problem with the jet, its grating on your nerves.

you had also been scrolling on twitter, instagram and pinterest, curled up underneath a matching blanket urging something to catch your attention while whatever work was being done on the plane happened.

unfortunately for you the thing that did catch your attention was the dozens of very clearly photoshopped pictures of you and percy walking together on a quiet street in boston.

no way in hell thats real. for one; ew and two; percy was only here for the weekend you were here for the week and you would've had no time to go out in between concerts.

eventually you doze off not realising you're in the air until you're ears pop waking you up to lia grinning mischievously.

"what asshole?"

"you're adorable when you wake up, you know that right?"

"yes i know."

"seriously the cutest human on the planet."

"what do you want lia?"

"a gossip podcast has picked up the subject of you and percy jackson. and the host is saying shit about you."

your eyes widen for a moment. "oh my god what? wow its almost as if i don't care!" ypu give lia a blank look. "this happens every three months lia, i do something and people either love it or hate it. thats the way it goes."

"yeah but this is PERCY JACKSON Y/N! he's gorgeousness personified."

"ugh can i go back to sleep? you can fangirl to me tomorrow when im in bed and pretending to listen."

"im offended." she leans over to place a kiss on your head. "but sleep tight babes, we land in like forty minutes."

shutting your eyes again you drift back to sleep.

only when you wake up do you realise you dreamed of percy...

TAGLIST‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ [if you're name is white it mean i couldn't tag you] @lauptimist, @itzmeme, @mariaaaaaahhhh, @paankhaleyaar, @maybxlle, @lara20aral, @cxp1d, @user-3113s-blog, @pleasingregulus, @avihashearts4lix, @inlovewithmorales, @brokecollegebitch, [if you want to be added just let me know!]

[phfenomena]

❝in that lavender haze❞ || tom blyth x f!reader

| request- hear me out! lavender haze with tom 🤭

| A/N- done and done. im hearing you out and im listening so hard. i’ve been high probably like hundreds of times but still cannot properly word it sorry 💔

| WARNINGS- marijuana consumption (mega slay), kissing, eating, wine, tiktok, tooth rotting fluff,

(divider by @benkeibear)

the feeling of your lungs being filled with smoke made you giddy, everything with sharp edges turning soft and fuzzy. coughing lightly at the larger hit you’d taken you passed the blunt to your left, to tom.

your eyes fixed on the way his lips wrapped around it and the way he closed his eyes at the sensation. your hopeless crush on your mutual friend with rachel had been developing for months, seeing him at every gathering and meet up.

he was fairly nice and polite, the true english way. you just wished he’d converse with you, more than small talk. you’re laying on your back on the floor and studying the swirling patterns on the ceiling. out of your peripheral vision you see tom lay down next to you.

staring at the ceiling with you, you don’t ever say too much. and you don’t really read into my melancholia.

“you don’t have much to say, do you?” you question into the air hoping that tom would cling on. he hums and says “yeah, i don’t know what you like or what you don’t like so i jus’ say nothing.” you turn your head to face him- all caution thrown to the wind. you find it hard to care about your words in your state. “when i first met you i thought you hated me, you wouldn’t talk to me like how you talked to everyone else. thought i might’ve done something. sometimes i still think that.” you confess and it hangs lowly over both of you.

“i was honestly kind of scared of you. in my head you’re this cool actress who does slashers and everyone loves her. i didn’t wanna say the wrong thing.” you smile and place your hand on your chest. “you think i’m cool? i think you’re cooler, tom.”

his eyes crinkle when he laughs and you love it. you find it hard to decipher where the high ends and where how tom makes you feel starts, but they’re mixing. “i think you’re really cool. you do these cool like artistic horror movies and i’m kind of obsessed with your acting.”

i find it dizzying, they’re bringing up my history. but you aren’t even listening.

the group on the couch and chairs above you pass a bottle of wine and finish off the blunt. your friend laughs loudly and you turn to look at him. “do you remember that time last year when you dated the like entire cast of that one movie? what’s it called? i can’t remember. that was funny as shit.” you cringe and cover your face trying to forget.

tom lightly grazes your shoulder with his finger and whispers “are you hungry? i really want pizza right now.” you smile and nod. he wasn’t going to ask about your questionable past times. he pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it to you. “i can’t function enough to order pizza, could you do it?” you happily nod and scroll your way through the menu before you both agree on toppings you both like.

i just wanna stay in that lavender haze. talk your talk and go viral, i just need this love spiral.

the pair had found themselves in a corner, talking and giggling over pizza whilst telling stories. “yeah! and she kept asking when i was going to settle down and get married. during an interview for a horror movie.” tom shakes his head and laughs. “i couldn’t get through one promo or interview without someone showing me at-least one edit of me. it was torture.” you pull your phone out and show him how edits of him had filled your timeline.

“you’re literally everywhere. i’m not complaining but sometimes i want to see something else!” he picks his phone up and shows your his own home page. “i’m sorry i ruined your tiktok, but this might make up for it.” his entire for you page was filled with edits of you and you co-stars from your latest movie.

you laugh and watch them “i had no idea people made edits of me, i feel honored. it’s like a right of passage.” he sets his phone down as well as his pizza. “they only the use the same ten clips of you covered in blood, i need more content.” you place you own pizza down and lean towards him.

“do you wanna know a secret i’m not supposed to tell anyone?” he nods and leans closer. “i’m gonna in the next scream movie and i’m one of the ghostface’s, you’re gonna see me murdering on the big screen.” he raises his eyebrows and you barley take into account how close your faces are.

“i love everything you’re in. when i first met you, i went home and watched everything you’ve done.” he confesses with a smile and red eyes. “i did the exact same thing, rachel told me i was creepy! we’re like each others biggest fans.”

get it off your chest, get it off my desk. that lavender haze, i just wanna stay.

you’re sitting in the bathtub of your bathroom passing a blunt back and forth between you and tom. “it’s so much quieter in here, i love them but they’re so loud.” you say leaning your head back on the tile. he softly chuckles and looks at you. “i can’t believe we could’ve been hanging out for months, i should’ve just talked to you.” you smile and set the blunt in the ashtray you brought with you.

“yeah but where’s the fun in that? this is probably the best night i’ve had in a while.” you turn to look at him and you study his features. you’ve never had a chance to really look at him, your glossy eyes try to memorize each slope and curve of his face.

“can i kiss you?” you whisper out before even realizing you’ve said it. he mutters a small ‘yes’ and you’re leaning in, like your body’s on autopilot. he tastes like weed and pizza, you couldn’t find a bone in your body that cared. you sluggishly manage to inch onto his lap. “you’re so pretty.” he whispers in between kisses. his hands find purchase on your waist, not letting you even dream of getting off of him.

you reluctantly pull back and his lips chase yours. “do you wanna hang out tomorrow?” you ask him with a smile. “i would be honored, maybe i’ll take you out on a real date.” his hands are rubbing small circles on your waist. “the press is gonna love that one.” you mutter out before leaning back into him.

[theonottsbxtch]

CHICAGO PT.3 | OP81

an: I LIED IT'LL BE FOUR PARTS IM HOOKED ON WRITING THIS STORY RAHHHH. POSTING THIS BEFORE BED TIME AND IM SO AHHHHHHHHHH!

wc: 6k

warnings: panic attack

part one | part two |

Oscar sat in the half-lit quiet of his apartment, a glass of whiskey in hand, its amber warmth forgotten in his grip. His laptop sat open on the coffee table, displaying emails he hadn’t touched in hours, their urgency faded into the background noise of his thoughts. It had been weeks since the conversation with Lando in the driver’s room, but the memory of it lingered in his mind like an itch he couldn’t quite scratch.

He’d done everything he could to bury the unsettling thoughts since then. Her voice, her soft reassurances, had done their job—at least temporarily. She had always known how to pull him back, how to soothe the churning inside him with just a few words. But now, in the stillness of his apartment, with no race day adrenaline to distract him, the questions began to rise again, clawing at the back of his mind.

A sharp knock on the door broke his spiral of thoughts. Oscar blinked, dragging himself back into the present. He wasn’t expecting anyone, and for a brief moment, a flicker of irritation sparked. He wasn’t in the mood for company. But then he heard Logan’s familiar voice from the other side, jovial and carefree.

“Oscar, buddy, open up!”

With a reluctant sigh, Oscar stood up, downing the rest of his whiskey in one swallow before heading to the door. He opened it to find Logan grinning, holding a six-pack of beer in one hand.

“Thought I’d drop by, see what you’ve been up to,” Logan said as he strolled inside without waiting for an invitation, clearly comfortable in the space. “Figured you’d be brooding alone in here.”

“Is that what people think of me now?” Oscar asked with a wry smile, trying to keep the mood light. He closed the door behind Logan, though his earlier unease hadn’t fully left him.

Logan plopped down on the couch, dropping the beer on the table and cracking one open for himself. “Well, you’ve been a bit... distant since Chicago, haven’t you?” He took a long swig of his beer, then set it down. “But that’s why I’m here. Thought I’d snap you out of it.”

Oscar forced a laugh and sat down next to him, trying to ignore the twist in his gut. “Yeah, just a lot on my plate lately.”

Logan nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, I get it. The season’s brutal this year. You look like you haven’t slept in a week.”

“Feels like it,” Oscar muttered, rubbing a hand over his face.

There was a brief silence, broken only by the quiet hum of the city outside, and for a moment, it felt almost comfortable—almost. Oscar reached for another drink, but Logan spoke up before he could get lost in his thoughts again.

“Oh, right. Meant to tell you,” Logan started, his tone casual but carrying that hint of intrigue that meant he was about to drop something interesting. “I overheard something at the paddock the other day. Lando and Max were having a chat.”

The mention of Lando’s name made Oscar tense, though he hid it behind a quick sip of his drink. He hadn’t seen much of Lando since that conversation about his girlfriend. He’d avoided him, telling himself it was just the busyness of the season, but deep down, he knew it was more than that.

“What about?” Oscar asked, trying to sound casual, though his pulse had quickened.

“They were talking about their girlfriends,” Logan said, leaning back on the couch with a grin, clearly amused by the gossip. “Apparently, Lando’s thinking of bringing his girlfriend to the track on Thursday. You know, letting her kid meet Max’s girlfriend’s kid.”

Oscar’s heart skipped a beat. Her kid. He hadn’t realised Lando had gotten serious enough with his girlfriend to talk about bringing her child to the paddock. The idea of it—a girlfriend and her child, meeting other drivers’ families—felt like something out of a life he couldn’t quite touch.

“Her kid?” Oscar repeated, forcing his voice to stay even.

“Yeah,” Logan continued, seemingly oblivious to the shift in Oscar’s mood. “Lando’s girlfriend has a son. Seven years old, I think he said. Leo.”

The name hit Oscar like a punch to the gut, the room suddenly feeling smaller, the air thicker. Leo. Too close. Too close to Lea. The same age, too. His mind reeled as he tried to process the information.

Leo and Lea. Two names that were now spiralling around his mind, refusing to leave him alone.

“Leo?” Oscar echoed, his throat tight, his hands suddenly clammy.

“Yeah, that’s what Lando said,” Logan confirmed, oblivious to Oscar’s growing panic. “Funny coincidence, huh? I thought of your girl when I heard it. Her daughter’s name is Lea, right?”

Oscar’s stomach churned, the whiskey doing nothing to steady his nerves now. The resemblance between the names—between their situations—was too striking to ignore. He tried to keep his expression neutral, but his mind was racing.

“Yeah... Lea,” he muttered, barely able to get the word out.

Logan leaned forward, reaching for another beer, completely unaware of the storm brewing inside Oscar. “Weird how those names are so close, isn’t it? Leo and Lea. Both seven. But hey, probably just one of those things, right? What are the chances?”

What are the chances? Oscar’s mind latched onto that phrase, replaying it over and over as the conversation with Lando echoed in his head. The pieces were there, and now they were beginning to slot into place, no matter how much he wanted to resist it.

Lando had mentioned meeting her a year ago—in America. She had told him about her life in Chicago, about her daughter Lea, seven years old, and raising her alone. But Lando had spoken about Leo, not Lea. A son, not a daughter. That had been the difference that had made Oscar dismiss the thought when Lando first talked about it. But now, with that name echoing in his mind, Oscar could no longer ignore the similarities.

His grip tightened around his glass, fingers digging into the smooth surface as he fought to keep his composure. Could it be her? Could she be Lando’s girlfriend?

The idea seemed absurd, but the doubt was already there, a seed that had been planted and was now sprouting, twisting its roots deep into his mind.

He replayed every moment he’d spent with her, every conversation, every look, every touch. She’d been so convincing, so sincere—or at least, that’s what he had wanted to believe. But now, with this new information, everything felt tainted. Every memory of her seemed to carry an undertone of manipulation, of deception.

He could feel the ground beneath him shifting, the stability he’d clung to for weeks slipping away. His thoughts spiralled, racing between disbelief and bitter realisation.

Logan seemed to sense something off now, watching Oscar with a puzzled expression. “You alright, mate? You’ve gone quiet.”

Oscar forced a tight smile, though it felt more like a grimace. “Yeah. Just... thinking.”

Logan shrugged, unfazed, as he stood up and stretched. “Well, don’t think too hard. Could be nothing, just me connecting dots that aren’t there. I mean, you and Lando have different types. Probably just a coincidence.”

“Yeah... probably,” Oscar said, his voice strained.

Logan gave him a friendly pat on the back. “Alright, I’ll head out. You should come out with us tomorrow night, clear your head. Don’t let all this racing stuff get to you.”

Oscar nodded absently, barely hearing him. “Yeah, maybe.”

Logan grabbed his jacket and headed to the door, giving Oscar one last wave before disappearing down the hallway.

The moment the door closed, Oscar was left alone with his thoughts, the silence of the apartment now feeling oppressive. He sank back down onto the couch, his head swimming with a confusion he couldn’t shake.

Could it really be her? Could she have been playing him all this time?

He glanced down at his phone, which lay on the coffee table next to the empty whiskey glass. His fingers itched to pick it up, to call her, to ask her outright if she was lying to him. But what would he even say? He couldn’t just accuse her out of the blue, not without sounding paranoid. And yet, the thought gnawed at him, relentless.

Oscar grabbed his phone, staring at her name in his contacts, his thumb hovering over the screen. Leo. Lea. His head spun with the possibilities, the connections that seemed too close to ignore.

But even as the doubt filled his mind, there was still a part of him that resisted it, clinging to the version of her he knew. The woman he had fallen for. The woman who had whispered sweet promises into his ear, made him feel alive in ways he hadn’t in years. Could that all have been a lie?

His thumb hovered over her name, the phone feeling heavier in his hand than ever before.

For the first time since meeting her, Oscar didn’t press call.

The hours had come and gone and Oscar couldn’t remember getting into bed, but he could remember ever minute he’d spent staring up at his ceiling. It was well past midnight, but sleep had evaded him completely. He hadn't been able to shake the conversation with Logan earlier that evening—the way the name Leo had echoed in his mind, digging into his subconscious, unsettling everything he thought he knew about her.

Leo. Too close to Lea. Too close to her.

He picked up his phone from the nightstand, his fingers moving almost without thought. The list of contacts blurred slightly as his thumb hovered over Lando’s name. He hadn’t spoken to him since their conversation weeks ago unless he had to for work, and despite every instinct telling him not to, Oscar needed answers. He couldn’t let this nagging doubt fester any longer. He needed to know if his suspicions—wild as they seemed—held any weight.

Hey mate, need to talk before the race. You free tomorrow?

He stared at the message, hesitating for a moment before pressing send. The little blue bubble appeared, sitting in the chat like an uncomfortable reminder that he was waiting for something—anything—to help ease his mind. But the longer he waited, the more the silence gnawed at him. Minutes passed, the absence of a response amplifying his anxiety.

Oscar sighed, his thumb tapping on the screen again, this time scrolling down to her name. He stared at her name for a long moment, remembering the way her voice had soothed him so many times before. She'll tell me I'm being ridiculous. She’d laugh softly, maybe tease him for worrying over nothing. She always knew how to calm him down, how to make him forget everything else. He could almost hear her voice in his head.

He typed quickly.

I miss your voice. Can we talk?

He pressed send, staring at the screen as if willing the message to deliver. Seconds ticked by, then a minute, and his heart began to pound when he realised the message hadn’t gone through. Message not delivered. He frowned, watching the error sign blink back at him.

That’s strange.

Oscar tried again, but the message still didn’t deliver. His mind raced through possible explanations. Maybe her phone was off, or she was somewhere without service. She did mention a work trip soon, he thought, trying to rationalise it. It wasn’t the first time her phone had been out of reach for a few hours. He could almost hear her brushing it off when she eventually called him back, laughing about poor reception or how busy she had been.

Still, something about it didn’t sit right with him. He stared at his phone, a sinking feeling growing in his chest. Lando wasn’t responding either. The creeping doubt Logan had stirred earlier began to crawl its way back, more persistent now, digging deeper into his thoughts.

What if...

Oscar quickly shut that thought down. He wasn’t going to drive himself insane with these suspicions. He’d seen this before—the paranoia that came with the pressure of the sport, the constant overthinking. This was just another bout of that, amplified by stress. He was exhausted, running on fumes, and his mind was playing tricks on him. He just needed rest.

I’m overthinking it, he told himself, forcing the words into the forefront of his mind like a mantra. I’m just tired, and everything looks worse when you’re this exhausted.

He set his phone down, determined to let it go. He’d see Lando tomorrow anyway, and she would probably call him back when she was free. There was no point in losing sleep over this, not when he had a full day of media obligations ahead of him. He’d wake up, do what needed to be done, and this would all seem ridiculous in the light of day.

With a heavy sigh, Oscar pulled the duvet over himself and closed his eyes. The cool fabric of the pillow pressed against his cheek as he tried to settle into the bed, but his mind wouldn’t stop buzzing with a million thoughts.

It’s nothing. Stop overthinking it.

But as he lay there, the city’s hum outside his window, the quiet tick of the clock on the wall, and the nagging unease in his gut refused to go away. Every now and then, his eyes would flicker open, glancing at the phone on the nightstand. Every time, it stayed still. Silent. No messages from her. No response from Lando.

Oscar swallowed hard, turning over again, trying to focus on anything else. Tomorrow will clear everything up. He just had to make it to tomorrow.

Eventually, sleep found him, though it was a restless, uneasy kind of sleep, filled with fractured dreams and half-formed thoughts he couldn’t quite remember when he woke up. But the feeling lingered, hanging over him like a storm cloud.

The morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, but it brought no comfort. He reached for his phone the moment he opened his eyes, his heart pounding in his chest, hoping to find some kind of response waiting for him.

But there was nothing.

No reply from Lando. No message from her.

Oscar exhaled sharply, pushing himself out of bed. It’s just one of those things. He had a long day ahead of him, and there was no use in letting his thoughts run wild. He had to focus, get his head back in the game. Just keep going.

He threw on his clothes and readied himself for the day ahead, steeling his nerves for what he hoped would be just another ordinary day. I’ll see them both soon, he thought as he left his apartment, trying to ignore the sinking feeling that followed him like a shadow.

By the time Oscar got to the paddock it was already buzzing with activity as Oscar arrived, the hum of engines, conversations, and the occasional clatter of tools filling the air. He should’ve felt at home here—among the smell of burning rubber, the organised chaos of race day preparations. But today, it all felt distant. His mind was elsewhere, trapped in an unsettling fog of thoughts he’d been trying to shake since the night before.

He adjusted the collar of his team jacket, trying to focus, but the weight of the unease from the night before lingered. No message from her. No word from Lando. He hadn’t been able to ignore the growing knot of doubt, but he had convinced himself this morning that it was nothing. Just a coincidence. It had to be.

As he walked down the main paddock lane, making his way toward the media zone, his phone buzzed in his pocket. His heart leapt for a moment—maybe it was her—but when he glanced down, it was just another email, something about the team briefing later. He sighed, slipping his phone back into his pocket, forcing himself to focus on the day ahead.

But then, something caught his eye.

At first, it was nothing more than a flash of red—the colour of a jacket, a familiar silhouette standing just on the edge of the paddock near the Mclaren Hospitality Tent. His eyes narrowed, and his breath caught in his throat as his gaze sharpened. Even from this distance, he could recognize the way she stood, her posture, the easy grace with which she moved. It was her.

She was here.

For a moment, a wave of relief washed over him, a soft smile tugging at his lips. His heart quickened—not with the anxiety of the past few days but with the warmth he always felt when he thought of her. She’s here. Maybe she had come to surprise him. Maybe everything would finally make sense.

His pace quickened as he moved toward her, anticipation swelling in his chest. But as he got closer, something shifted. His smile faltered when he saw someone else approaching her—a man.

Lando.

Oscar  stopped dead in his tracks, his heart suddenly pounding in his chest. He watched as Lando strode up to her with that same casual confidence he always had, his face lighting up when he saw her. And then, as if the universe was mocking him, Lando leaned down and kissed her.

Oscar  felt the world tilt beneath him.

It wasn’t just a casual kiss, not the kind you give in passing. It was intimate, familiar. The kind of kiss shared by lovers, by people who had spent more than fleeting moments together. Oscar 's breath hitched in his throat as the truth hit him all at once—hard and unforgiving.

Lando's girlfriend. Lando's Leo.

She wasn’t just some distant thought anymore, someone he could call and pretend everything was fine with. She was standing right here, in front of him, in this world that had always belonged to him—and Lando.

Oscar ’s mouth went dry, his pulse hammering in his ears, but it wasn’t over. As if the universe wasn’t done ripping apart the fragile web he had tried to spin for himself, he saw a small boy run toward Lando, his laugh carrying on the wind.

The boy was maybe seven, with light brown hair, bright eyes, and a familiar lilt to his voice. Leo. The name thundered in Oscar ’s mind, each syllable more brutal than the last.

Oscar ’s world stopped.

He watched, frozen, as the boy ran to Lando, and Lando crouched down to scoop him up in an embrace, grinning widely. Lando ruffled the boy’s hair, saying something Oscar  couldn’t hear from where he stood, but it didn’t matter. He could see everything he needed to know. Lando wasn’t just playing the role of a stand-in or a casual boyfriend—he was in this, fully, deeply. This was a life. Their life.

Oscar ’s breath came in shallow, ragged bursts as the full weight of it all crashed down on him. She wasn’t just with Lando. She had a whole other life with him. A life that included a child—a child he had heard so much about from her, though she had called him by another name. Lea had become Leo, and everything Oscar  had thought he knew was a lie.

His mind reeled as he tried to piece together how long this had been going on. How long she had been playing them both. Weeks? Months? The entire time he had known her? How many nights had she soothed him with her voice, made him believe he was special to her, while she was building this life with someone else?

His hands trembled as he stood there, watching them interact like a family. She had her arm wrapped around Lando’s waist now, smiling up at him in a way that made Oscar ’s stomach churn. She looked at Lando with that same softness, that same vulnerability that had made Oscar fall for her in the first place.

How could I have been so blind? The thought ripped through him, bitter and sharp. Every moment with her replayed in his mind now, but with a new, ugly clarity. The subtle evasions, the too-perfect explanations, the way she’d disappear for days at a time, only to come back with a sweet excuse. He had ignored it all, let himself believe she was everything he wanted her to be because he had been desperate to feel something again.

The paddock noise swirled around him, the laughter, the chatter of mechanics, the distant rumble of engines. But all of it faded into the background as his eyes locked on her and Lando.

For the first time, Oscar  didn’t feel the familiar rush of race day energy. There was no excitement, no focus on the task at hand. All he felt was a gnawing sense of betrayal, an emptiness that spread through his chest like ice. He had been so utterly hooked on her, had built this fantasy around her in his mind, and now, that fantasy was crumbling before his very eyes.

Without realising it, he had taken a step backward, then another, retreating from the sight in front of him. His mind screamed at him to confront her, to demand answers, but his body refused to move. He wasn’t sure what was worse—the betrayal itself or the realisation that he hadn’t seen it coming.

As he turned and walked away, the weight of it all pressing down on him, he felt as if he were walking through molasses, his legs heavy, his breath shallow. He wanted to scream, to demand answers, but he knew now that there was nothing left to ask. Everything was laid bare before him.

He had fallen for her, believed her, let her into the deepest parts of himself. And all the while, she had been building something else, something real, with someone else.

He thought back to that night he had first met her in Chicago, that intoxicating smile, the softness in her eyes when she talked about her daughter. And now, standing here in the aftermath, he saw it for what it had been all along—a performance.

Oscar had been nothing more than a passing act in her show, and now the curtain had fallen.

Oscar didn’t know how far he had walked. His legs moved mechanically, one foot in front of the other, carrying him away from the scene that had shattered him. The sound of laughter, engines, and the bustling paddock faded into the background as a growing numbness took over. His hands were shaking, and his chest tightened with each breath, the weight of it all sinking in.

He stumbled around a corner, finding himself in a quiet service alley behind the team garages, where crates and equipment were stacked in neat rows. The world felt distant, blurred at the edges, and the air felt too thin. He leaned against the cold metal of a container, his breaths coming in short, shallow gasps.

I can’t breathe.

His mind raced, the images of her and Lando flashing like daggers in his thoughts. Her smile, her lies, the little boy running to Lando—it all collided in his head, creating a vortex of disbelief and betrayal. His heart pounded in his chest, a heavy, erratic beat that refused to slow. His vision started to blur, dark spots dancing in front of his eyes as he struggled to catch his breath.

Get a grip. But the command felt impossible. His lungs wouldn’t fill with air, his thoughts were spinning out of control, and the walls of the alley seemed to close in around him.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps approaching, but they sounded distant, like they were coming through a fog. Before he could react, a familiar voice cut through the haze.

"Oscar?" It was Logan.

Oscar tried to speak, but the words were stuck in his throat. He couldn’t even lift his head to meet Logan’s gaze. His body trembled, his hands clutching at the front of his jacket as if trying to hold himself together.

“Mate, what the hell—are you okay?” Logan’s voice was sharp with concern as he rushed to his side, grabbing Oscar by the shoulders. He crouched down, his face close, searching Oscar's eyes for any sign of response. But Oscar could only shake his head, his breaths coming faster and more ragged.

“I—I can’t—” Oscar gasped, his voice barely a whisper. The pressure in his chest was unbearable, like he was suffocating under the weight of everything that had just happened. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to fight back the panic, but it overwhelmed him.

“Hey, hey, breathe with me. Focus on me. Slow down,” Logan urged, his voice calm but firm. He placed a hand on Oscar’s chest, matching the rise and fall of his shallow breaths. “In. Out. Come on, slow it down.”

Oscar tried to follow Logan’s instructions, his chest rising in shallow, broken attempts. Each inhale felt like a battle, but Logan’s steady voice anchored him, pulling him out of the spiralling panic. Slowly, painfully, his breathing began to slow, and the fog in his mind lifted just enough for him to focus on the present moment.

“Good. Keep going. You’re okay,” Logan murmured, keeping his hand on Oscar’s shoulder, steadying him.

It felt like hours passed before Oscar could breathe properly again, the tightness in his chest easing ever so slightly. His hands were still trembling, but his mind had slowed enough to process what had just happened. The panic still lingered, like a storm waiting on the horizon, but at least for now, he could breathe.

Logan stayed crouched beside him, his brow furrowed with concern. “What the hell happened? You looked fine earlier. What’s going on?”

Oscar swallowed hard, his throat dry. He didn’t know where to begin. How could he even explain this? How could he put into words the chaos that had just upended everything he thought he knew?

“Logan…” His voice was hoarse, raw from the struggle to breathe. “It’s… it’s her.”

Logan’s face shifted from concern to confusion. “The girl from Chicago? What about her?”

Oscar let out a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair. His voice cracked as he spoke, the words tumbling out in a broken rush. “She… she’s with Lando. I just—God, I just saw them. They were together, and there’s a kid—Leo. She told me she had a daughter, but… but that’s her son, Logan. That’s her son.”

Logan’s eyes widened, shock flashing across his face as he took in Oscar’s words. “Wait, what? Lando? And—Jesus. What?”

Oscar nodded, his stomach turning as he relived the moment he had seen them together. “I didn’t know, Logan. I had no idea. She never told me. She’s been playing me this whole time. And Lando, he… he doesn’t know. He has no idea.”

Logan was silent for a moment, his jaw tight as he processed what Oscar was saying. “And you’re sure it’s the same girl?”

“Positive. I saw them together,” Oscar said, his voice thick with disbelief. “She was with Lando, and the kid… I just—I can’t believe it. She’s been lying to both of us. I don’t even know how long it’s been going on.”

Logan let out a low whistle, shaking his head in disbelief. “Shit, mate. That’s… that’s messed up. How the hell did she pull this off? You’ve been with her for—what, months?”

“Since Chicago,” Oscar muttered, his hands clenched into fists. The anger was rising now, replacing the panic with a burning sense of betrayal. “She’s been playing me for months, Logan. And the worst part is, Lando doesn’t know. He’s out there thinking he’s got a family with her, and she’s just… she’s been lying to him too.”

Logan rubbed his face, clearly at a loss for words. “Mate, this is… this is bad. You need to talk to Lando. He deserves to know what’s going on.”

Oscar shook his head, his throat tightening again. “I don’t even know how to start that conversation. How am I supposed to tell him that the woman he’s in love with has been stringing me along for months?”

“I know it’s hard, but he deserves the truth,” Logan said gently. “He’s your teammate. You owe it to him to tell him what you know.”

Oscar let out a long, shaky breath. Deep down, he knew Logan was right. Lando deserved the truth. But the idea of confronting him, of shattering the life Lando thought he had with her—it felt impossible. How could he do that to someone he cared about?

“How do I even begin?” Oscar whispered, more to himself than to Logan.

“You just do. Lando deserves to hear it from you, not from anyone else,” Logan said firmly. “Trust me, the longer you wait, the worse it’s going to get. You need to talk to him before this whole thing blows up even worse.”

Oscar nodded, though the thought made his chest tighten again. He knew Logan was right. He had to face this. He had to talk to Lando. Even if it meant tearing down the life Lando thought he had built.

“Okay,” Oscar said quietly. “I’ll talk to him. Before the race.”

Logan gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “You’re doing the right thing, mate. You’ve got this.”

But as Oscar stood there, still trembling from the panic and the weight of the truth pressing down on him, he wasn’t sure he had the strength to face what was coming next.

Before the race Oscar stood outside Lando’s driver room, heart pounding so hard it felt like it might burst through his chest. His palms were clammy, his breath shaky, and his mind was racing with every possible way this conversation could go wrong. He had rehearsed it a hundred times since Logan found him—how he would explain everything, how he’d try to soften the blow. But now, standing here, the weight of it all felt unbearable.

His hand hovered over the door for a moment, hesitation gripping him. What if Lando didn’t believe him? What if he got angry? Oscar wasn’t sure if he was ready to face the storm that was about to hit.

He deserves the truth. You have to do this.

Taking a deep breath, Oscar knocked.

The door swung open almost immediately, and there stood Lando, already dressed in his race suit, looking every bit the calm, collected driver he always was before a race. But today, Oscar could see the excitement in his eyes, the eagerness. It made his stomach turn.

“Oscar, mate! What’s up?” Lando asked, grinning. He stepped back, motioning for Oscar to come inside. “You ready for the big day?”

Oscar forced a smile, though it felt weak and awkward. He stepped inside, the air thick with tension he wasn’t sure Lando could feel yet. The motorhome was quiet, the sound of the paddock fading into the background as the door shut behind him.

“Yeah, uh… about that…” Oscar started, his voice already cracking under the weight of what he was about to say. He shoved his hands in his pockets, his heart thudding against his ribs. “I need to talk to you. About something serious.”

Lando’s smile faltered just a little, his brow furrowing. “What’s up? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Oscar swallowed hard, feeling the nerves coil tight in his chest. This was it. No turning back.

“It’s about your girlfriend,” Oscar said, his voice barely above a whisper. The name hit the air like a bomb, and Lando’s face immediately darkened.

“My girlfriend?” Lando repeated, his expression shifting to confusion. “What about her?”

Oscar hesitated, feeling the weight of every word that was about to come out of his mouth. His throat was dry, and he suddenly wished he had some water, something to buy more time. But there was no time. It had to be now.

“I… I didn’t know she was with you,” Oscar said, the words coming out in a rush. “I didn’t know she was your girlfriend. Lando, I’ve been—God, I’ve been seeing her. She never told me about you.”

For a moment, there was only silence. Lando’s eyes narrowed as the meaning of Oscar’s words sank in, his confusion giving way to something darker—anger.

“You’ve been what?” Lando’s voice was low, dangerous, a tone Oscar had never heard from him before. “You’ve been seeing her?”

Oscar held up his hands, trying to keep his own panic in check. “I swear, I didn’t know, mate. I didn’t know she was with you. She told me she was single, raising her kid on her own. I had no idea you were with her. Not until I saw you together today.”

Lando took a step back, his face twisted in disbelief and fury. He ran a hand through his hair, pacing in the small space, his movements sharp, agitated. “Are you telling me you’ve been with her this whole time? The whole time we’ve been together?”

Oscar nodded, feeling like the ground beneath him was about to give way. “I didn’t know,” he repeated, his voice shaky. “I met her in Chicago months ago. She told me she had a daughter, that she was a single mum. I thought… I thought I was helping her.”

Lando let out a harsh laugh, but there was no humour in it. “Helping her? You’ve got to be kidding me. She’s been with me for a year! She’s been my girlfriend, Oscar. What the hell were you thinking?”

Oscar winced, the guilt tightening around his chest. “I wasn’t thinking,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I was just… I was hooked on her. She had me completely fooled.”

Lando’s face was a mask of rage now, his fists clenched at his sides as if he were holding himself back from hitting something—or someone. “You’re telling me this now, before the race? What the hell am I supposed to do with this, Oscar?”

“I’m sorry,” Oscar said, his voice breaking. “I didn’t want to tell you, but you deserve to know. I had no idea she was with you. I only put it together when Logan mentioned Leo—her son.”

Lando stopped pacing, his face going pale at the mention of Leo. “Leo?” His voice cracked, and for the first time, Oscar saw something other than anger in his friend’s eyes—something like fear. “Who told you his name was Leo?”

Oscar nodded, swallowing hard not knowing how to navigate this topic any further. “She told me she had a daughter named Lea.”

For a long moment, neither of them spoke. The silence between them was heavy, like the eye of a storm. Then, slowly, Lando sat down on the edge of the small bed, his head in his hands. Oscar stood frozen, unsure of what to do, unsure if he should say more or just leave.

“She played us both, didn’t she?” Lando muttered, his voice hoarse, filled with disbelief. “She’s been playing me this whole time.”

Oscar let out a shaky breath, nodding, though he still couldn’t fully believe it himself. “Yeah,” he whispered. “I think she has.”

Lando shook his head, his fingers running through his hair in frustration. “I should’ve known something was off. She always had these excuses, always disappearing for days at a time. I thought she was just… I don’t know, giving me space. Or with her kid. But now? Now it all makes sense.”

Oscar sat down across from him, the weight of the truth settling heavily between them. “I should’ve seen it too. But I was too caught up in her. I wanted to believe her so badly that I didn’t question anything.”

They sat in silence for a long time, both of them grappling with the betrayal, with the web of lies she had spun so carefully around them. The anger was still there, simmering beneath the surface, but it was no longer directed at each other. They had both been played, both drawn into her orbit without realising they weren’t the only ones.

“What are we going to do?” Lando finally asked, his voice flat, almost numb.

Oscar shook his head, still unsure. “I don’t know. But we can’t let her keep doing this.”

Lando clenched his jaw, his eyes hardening as he stared at the floor. “You’re right. She’s not getting away with this. Not anymore.”

Oscar nodded in agreement, but his heart was still heavy. The woman he had fallen for, the woman he had trusted, had betrayed him in the worst way possible. But it wasn’t just about him anymore. Lando was hurting too, and that made it all the more unbearable.

As the weight of their conversation settled into the room, Oscar felt a slow, creeping nausea rise in his chest. It wasn’t just the betrayal. It was the realisation that this wasn’t some accident—this wasn’t some chance encounter where they’d both been caught off guard by the same woman. No. She had known exactly what she was doing.

He stared at the floor, the memories flooding back in sharp, painful clarity. The first night in Chicago, the way she had appeared out of nowhere, sliding into the seat next to him with that effortless grace, that smile that had seemed too good to be true. The way she’d known exactly how to draw him in, offering just the right amount of vulnerability to make him want to protect her. All those months, he’d thought it had been fate, a serendipitous meeting. But now, with Lando sitting across from him, every detail took on a darker shade.

“Lando…” Oscar’s voice cracked, barely able to say the words. “She knew about me, didn’t she? From the beginning.”

Lando looked up, his eyes still clouded with shock but now narrowing as if trying to piece together the puzzle himself. “What do you mean?”

Oscar took a shaky breath. “You’ve mentioned me to her, haven’t you? Before I even met her in Chicago, you must have talked about me. About the team. She… she knew who I was before she ever sat down next to me at that bar.”

Lando’s face paled. His gaze shifted to the floor, his mind working through the same awful revelation that had struck Oscar. “Yeah. Yeah, I did. I mentioned you all the time. You’re one of my best mates. Of course, I talked about you.”

It was like a punch to the gut. Oscar’s stomach turned as he recalled every little interaction with her—the way she’d seemed to know exactly what to say, how to flatter him without being too obvious, how to make him feel like he was the one discovering her, unravelling her layers. But it was all calculated. She’d had him pegged from the moment she walked in, likely before that.

“She didn’t just randomly pick the seat next to me at the bar,” Oscar said, his voice low, thick with bitterness. “She knew exactly who I was, Lando. She played us both from the start.”

Lando sat there, silent, his jaw clenched tight as he stared at his hands. His fingers twitched like he wanted to punch something, anything, but he stayed still, the tension simmering just below the surface. After what felt like an eternity, he finally spoke.

“She’s been manipulating both of us,” he muttered, his voice a growl of disbelief. “I told her about my life. My friends. My job. And all that time… she was using it against me. Against you.”

The full scope of her deception crashed down on Oscar. He felt sick to his core. She’d never cared. Every sweet word, every glance, every night they’d spent together—it had all been part of her plan. She had known exactly who he was and had targeted him, exploited his loneliness, his vulnerability.

The first time they had kissed, that electric moment in her apartment, had seemed so real. He could still feel the warmth of her hands on his skin, the way her lips moved against his as if they had been made for each other. But now it felt cheap. Hollow. A lie that had wrapped itself around him until he could barely breathe.

"She must have known everything about me before she even introduced herself," Oscar continued, his voice darkening with anger. “That night at the bar, the way she played coy, like she didn’t know me from Mclaren. It was all an act. A setup.”

Lando was silent for a moment, still staring at the floor. Then, slowly, he looked up at Oscar, his expression hard. “She probably knew exactly how to make you fall for her. She listened to me talk about you enough. Your hobbies, your career, your life. She had every piece of ammunition she needed.”

Oscar could feel his pulse quickening again, a sick mix of rage and humiliation rising in his throat. She hadn’t just lied—she had orchestrated everything with precision, knowing full well how to ensnare him. And the worst part? He had let her. He had fallen for every carefully laid trap.

"She played the long game," Oscar whispered, his voice barely holding together. “I thought… I thought it was real. I thought she was real.”

“I did too,” Lando muttered bitterly. He let out a long breath, rubbing the back of his neck as if trying to shake off the disgust that was settling over him. “God, how could we have been so blind?”

Oscar swallowed hard, the bitterness turning into something darker, more dangerous. He could picture her face so clearly—those dark, hypnotic eyes that had drawn him in from the very beginning, the way she tilted her head just enough to make him think she was letting her guard down for him. And all along, she had been playing him like a violin, hitting every note perfectly.

“She knew what she was doing,” Oscar said, his voice thick with fury. “She knew exactly what she was doing, Lando. She was never confused. Never torn. She set us both up like pieces on a chessboard.”

Lando’s fists clenched, his jaw tightening as he nodded in agreement. “She knew how to make us feel like we were the ones in control, like we were helping her. But she was pulling the strings the whole time.”

They both sat in silence, the weight of their shared betrayal settling into the room like a storm cloud. Neither of them spoke for what felt like minutes, both of them lost in the horrible realisation of just how thoroughly they’d been manipulated.

“I can’t believe it,” Lando finally said, his voice hollow. “I can’t believe she was capable of this.”

Oscar shook his head slowly, the ache in his chest deepening. “I guess people like her… they don’t care who they hurt, as long as they get what they want.”

And that was the bitter truth. She had never cared about either of them. She had only cared about what she could take, what she could gain. And they had both been too blind, too caught up in her web to see it.

“What do we do now?” Lando asked, his voice a mixture of anger and defeat.

Oscar didn’t have an answer. His whole world felt like it had been ripped apart, every certainty he had stripped away. He didn’t know what came next. But one thing was clear— She wasn’t going to walk away from this unscathed.

“We tell her it’s over,” Oscar said firmly, though his heart ached even as he said it. “She doesn’t get to play us anymore.”

Lando nodded, his jaw set. “She’s not getting away with this.”

But even as they made their decision, Oscar couldn’t shake the feeling that the damage had already been done. He had given a part of himself to her that he couldn’t get back, and no matter how hard he tried to convince himself it was all a lie, the hurt lingered like an open wound.

As they prepared to face her, Oscar couldn’t help but wonder how much of him had been taken in by her. How much of him was still trapped in that web she had spun so perfectly around him.

And whether he would ever truly be free of her.

part four

tag list: @iimplicitt @hearts4acemyluv @a-beaverhausen

[katsu28]

hi my lovely kait!

i saw your requests were open and i actually was thinking about if ive ever requested smth from you before (i think maybe once but im not sure)

i was wondering if i could get ‘Kissing away their tears’ with charles but i wouldn’t mind if you wanted to do it with anyone else as well! i’ve been craving some hurt/comfort.

love you and have an amazing day <33

hali!!! love u love u thank u for being so sweet <3 here's some hurt and (hopefully) some comfort for u!

charles leclerc x reader, 1.4k. request something from here!

You can tell that Charles is dejected the moment he climbs out of the car. He doesn’t have that spring in his step he usually gets after an exhilarating race, and his feet drag on the asphalt as he trudges over to the weighing station with the rest of the grid, barring the podium goers. 

Carlos finished high up in the points, which is a win for Ferrari and you know Charles is happy for him, but you can’t imagine what it must feel like to constantly miss out on points and positions while his teammate consistently comes out in the top five every time. 

Formula One is a different breed of competition—your teammate might be your friend, but they’re also one of your biggest rivals. You fight to keep your seat, race after race, season after season, and this downhill spiral Charles has been in ever since his home win has been disheartening to say the least. 

You don’t know much about the strategy of it all, but you know Ferrari’s hasn’t been working out for him. He’s had a rough go of it lately, and your heart hurts for him. 

Charles looks up to where he knows you are, lifting his hand in a haphazard wave at you before being ushered away to the media pen. You’ll wait for him where you always meet him after races.

Somehow, he looks even more defeated than before as he trudges into his driver room after post race interviews conclude. He throws his paddock pass off to the side. You’re sitting up on the countertop, legs swinging mindlessly, only stilling when Charles shuts the door behind him. 

“Hey,” You say softly, gently. 

“Hi. Thank you for coming.” He tries his attempt at a smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes. You hold out your arms, and immediately, Charles steps forward, folding himself into your embrace. You know Charles well enough to know that he won't believe you if you compliment him right now, so you don’t. You sit with him in the heavy silence instead, waiting for him to make the first move. “I’m sorry I could not do better.” 

“You did the best you could with what you were given, Charles,” You say assuringly, rubbing a hand over his shoulders. He sighs long and hard, like you’re just telling him what he wants to hear. “I’m proud of you.” 

“Can we just go back to the hotel now?” He asks quietly, muffled because of how his face is buried into your neck. “I’m done for today. Anything else can wait until tomorrow.” 

“Of course,” You hum, carding a gentle hand through his hair one more time before releasing him. Before he can get too far, you kiss him, short and sweet. He smiles then too, a little bigger than before, but still quite sad. 

Charles puts on a pleasant facade as you make your way through the paddock back to the car park, taking pictures with waiting fans, signing things for them if he can reach them like most drivers do whilst leaving the track. Most of them are sweet to him. They tell him to keep his head up and believe, that a few bad races don’t discredit how talented of a driver he is. 

There’s a few hecklers as usual, upset fans who’d made bets on Charles’ performance and lost that money, people who say he could be doing so much better—as if them telling him that would magically make everything alright again. You give your own deadpan stare to that lot from where you hover a good distance away from him, not caring that they can definitely see you. 

Charles may be media trained, but you’re not. You have no problems with shutting up a few twats with your expertly crafted death glare. Fred Vasseur might call you in for a meeting with the PR team if he sees the photos on social media, but you don’t care. 

The car ride back to the hotel is understandably silent, but Charles still holds your hand tightly, rubbing absentminded circles along your skin because it soothes him, every so often lifting it to press a kiss to your knuckles. You don’t push him to talk, and you don’t think you need to. You know him well enough to know he’ll let you in when he’s ready. 

Dinner is room service and holds a little more conversation, though you can tell Charles is still off in his own world, thinking about everything that’s gone wrong these past few races, wondering if he could’ve done anything to get a better outcome. 

You come out of the bathroom after brushing your teeth, well and ready to go to sleep and forget this day, but instead you find your boyfriend sitting at the end of the bed, hunched over with his head in his hands. At the sound of the door opening, he looks up, and you can tell he’s been trying hard not to cry. 

Glassy eyes stare back at you, the beautiful green eyes that you adore filled with so much pain and sadness it makes you want to cry too. His teeth dig hard into his bottom lip, but it still wobbles just the slightest. 

It isn’t until you’re across the room, sliding on your knees to hug him against you that the final string holding Charles up snaps, and he leans into you heavily, pressing his face against your shoulder with a shuddering breath. He cries and cries, and you let him, holding him as tight as you can just so he knows you’ve got him. 

You’ve always got him. 

His body shakes with silent sobs, hot tears soaking into your shirt, and all you can do is murmur quiet reassurances into his ear, even if the feeling of wet cotton against your skin makes you want to peel yourself out of it. Charles needs this, needs to let it all out so he can focus on what lies ahead without being dragged down by the past. 

Eventually, his sobs come to a hiccupping stop. He lifts his head, red rimmed eyes meeting your own tearful ones. His nose is even running a little bit, and if it were anyone else you’d push them away, but it’s Charles. “I’m sorry. I don’t—I don’t know why…” He trails off without finishing his sentence, seemingly at a loss for words. 

“Oh, my love,” You sigh, stroking both thumbs over the apples of his cheeks. You press your lips against his, hoping it can convey just how much you love him without you having to even utter the words, wiping away his tears gently before drawing back to look at him. As much as you hate it when Charles cries, he’s pretty like this. Tears cling to long, dark lashes, mussed hair a soft tornado of brown from how your fingers had been running through it. “You have nothing to be sorry for. And you never have to explain anything to me, yes? I’m here for you, always, no matter what.”

“Thank you,” He murmurs, leaning back in with his forehead against yours. “Thank you, mon amour. Your support, your love, it means everything to me. You are why I can keep doing this. ” 

You shake your head. “No I’m not.” Charles cocks his head, and you poke his chest, right over his heart. “That is why you can keep doing this.” 

One more poke, this one softer and on his forehead. “And this. Your mind and your heart, your determination, your strength, that is why you keep going. You are the most hard working, talented, brilliant driver I’ve ever seen. You can bounce back from whatever this is, and you will. But not because of me, because that’s the kind of person you are.” 

Charles pats the spot next to him and you oblige, looping your arm through his once you’re there, leaning against his shoulder now. He lays a lingering kiss to the top of your head, a silent gesture of appreciation towards you. He appreciates you more than he can put into words sometimes, a fact that hasn’t and will never change.  

Even though he’s still frustrated and sad and upset, this silence seems considerably lighter as you sit with him. You hope for brighter days ahead, and you’ll always try your best to be his strongest support system, no matter what the future holds.

follow @katsu-library to be notified when i post new fics :)

[6okuto]

us yuji lovers must stick together in these hardships (aka jjk261) … how are we feeling right now nia :( personally IM SICK T^T

it's whatever. i hate jujutsu kaisen. floptsu flopsen. sorcery FLOP. whatever. yuuji hcs that spiral in the middle before going back to normal (one major implied spoiler for 259)

yuuji who you ask to be your fake boyfriend who says yes and then realizes he likes you in the process. walk with me

sends you animal photos and goes >:OO dog!!!! cat!!! :DD hope ur having a good day!!! <333

sits in the washroom and watches you do your hair/skincare routine while you talk about your days. will take over with ease if your arms hurt or you're tired

points out silly looking plushies or figures and copies their expression/pose. yuuji would like trying jojo poses

if he saw you sitting in the rain he'd come over with an umbrella and say you should come inside before you get sick. but then you tell him you like the rain and need to be outside for a while so he puts down the umbrella and sits with you. and you're like ?? you don't have to do this. and he just tilts his head and smiles and says yeah maybe but he wants to. he's sure his immune system is strong, or at the very least you can get sick together

yuuji who's suffered so much, who's been in survival mode for so long and hasn't been able to grieve the way he deserves to (he won't let himself) (those he's lost deserve peace more than him) Who breaks down crying when you hold his face or kiss his scars

yuuji years after the manga ends who's still healing and learning to grieve and grow. who sees his brother in the siblings he crosses paths with at the park, and his classmates and teachers in the elementary students filing out the bus for a field trip. who visits graves, starkly clean and well-kept compared to the ones a row over with flowers and food and updates on where he's been and the things he's done since his last visit. who wakes up too many nights with his heart torn, tears welling in his eyes and crescent indents in his palms, his voice raspy and broken when he yells out a name (it's a different one each time). who looks at himself and his fading scars in the mirror and sees two faces—both, in his eyes, responsible for what happened—and wonders when, if ever, he'll finally feel like he's off the battlefield, or worthy of peace

😂

if you asked to blindfold him to get him to pick you out of a line up (by holding hands, hugging, etc) he'd do it so confidently and be 100% correct. he could even give you reasoning on the spot—this hand's too rough, too small, you wouldn't wear this kind of jacket, this person's too short, etc etc

yuuji who you haven't seen in ages who waves his arms and grins so bright when you finally appear . who laughs as you speed up to get to him and hugs you with everything he has

wants to try out hot ones . you know the videos where they eat spicy hot wings. yeah

playing horror games with yuuji and hearing him progressively yell louder 😭 "eh? huh? where? what? what? What?? WHAT??? WHY WHY WHY WAIT WAIT WAIT STOP WAIT"

yuuji probably being a firefighter if he hadn't become a sorcerer + ride your wave. um. i mostly mean before he dies like just the meeting and dating. someone walk with me.?

dog walker yuuji 🙁 he'd be so excited of that one guy came by and asked to take photos omg 😭

doesn't really question when you want affection or cuddles (unless you're visibly upset) 🥹 you silently walk up and rest your head on his shoulder, or wrap his arm around you and he turns it into a hug 🥹 those videos where they crawl into their boyfriend's lap while he games and he silently wraps his arms around them and keeps playing 🥹

omg but flustered yuuji (earlier in the relationship) when you try to do something romantic/cheesy 😭😭 like sharing a drink and your faces being super close when you both lean in 🙁 and his ears/cheeks are tinted pink 🙁

[starseungs]

➳ this is how to be in love with you. hjs

pairing — han jisung x gn!reader

synopsis — dating han jisung was something you had never expected to happen, but now you wouldn't have it any other way.

genre/s — fluff. and i actually mean it this time. (a pinch of angst at the start but its over quick) • 2.1k words

warning/s — cursing, mentions of drinking

note — tbh i wrote this with a fever and dont know wth im writing aside from the fact that im so in love with han jisung it physically hurts

2022 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.

It was almost frightening how easy it was to fall in love with Han Jisung.

Who would've thought that the cute part-timer at the convenience store across from your apartment building would have such a huge impact on your relatively boring life? You certainly didn't, and yet his presence alone still hit you hard like a truck.

Everything started on one particularly hard day that ended with you fighting back salty tears in the midst of your dimly lit room. It was not the best sight, nor will it ever be, despite the shimmery streaks of moonlight seeping into the space in a pathetic attempt to provide lighting around you. The clear night sky would've been beautiful to gaze at if only it didn't remind you that your day would be ending soon without a single positive thing happening in the entirety of its hours. You were so so tired and wanted nothing more than to sleep until the sun rose for another day—a fresh new start for you to leave the past behind like you've done just this morning. But it seemed like fate had other plans that prompted you to storm out of your apartment in spite-filled rage.

Admittedly, you didn't have a plan at that time—only knowing you'd be damned if you continued to swallow your frustration alone. The weather outside was average at best; there was nothing too special going on. However, it was for that exact reason that the fluorescent "open" sign of the humble convenience store right across the street seemed to attract your eyes more than it ever did before. And who were you to say no to its obvious invitation? Beggars couldn't be choosers, after all, and you desperately needed something, anything, to distract you until the day officially came to an end.

So here you were, curiously slipping inside the store to find anything that might interest you. You faintly registered the chime of the door when you stepped inside and the polite greeting of whoever was behind the cashier at the back of your mind as your sight immediately zeroed on those eye-catchingly green bottles of fun.

It was just what you needed.

You hurriedly snatched a few bottles of soju with childish glee, already thinking about how perfect this was to end your less than ideal day. Maybe you could still sneak in some enjoyment in the remaining minutes until midnight—not that you thought drinking your problems away was exactly good, but it was certainly better than bottling up your sadness when you could open another type of bottle instead. It was an okay plan, or at least in your books, it was.

"That's quite a few bottles you've got there."

The sudden voice startled your train of thought, bringing your focus back to the real world. "Wait, shit, sorry if I scared you," the voice continued in a panic. "I didn't mean to, I swear. Damn, I'm not even supposed to comment on a customer's purchase."

You blinked dazedly at the person standing in front of you. When you raised your head to find a face to connect the voice with, you didn't know, but you quickly found yourself wishing you had done so earlier.

Because, wow. That face was very attractive.

"Oh, uh—it's fine," you shook your head lightly in an attempt to stop blatantly ogling at the guy. "You're good."

Unfortunately, that only seemed to send him into another spiral of misplaced guilt since he threw out a sudden offer of, "I'll give you a discount."

Your eyes practically bulged out of their sockets at the sentence that came out of his mouth. "What? No! You don't have to, really!" was your hasty reply, to which the guy only hummed as if it were no big deal.

"Would you let me do it if I say it's because I find you cute?"

"I'm sorry, come again?"

You watched as his eyes widened comically, almost like he didn't expect those words to be said out loud—and if you were to say, that might actually be the case. "Okay, yeah, that totally backfired," he exhaled shakily; you could almost hear him screaming internally. Honestly, you couldn't blame him. You would too. "This must be so creepy—I'll place these in a bag and get out of your hair in a moment."

After a few more seconds, the situation finally dawned on you. "Hold on," you wheezed like you just heard the funniest shit ever. "Are you seriously hitting on me right now?"

"No! I mean, yes? Kind of?" The guy ended up groaning in embarrassment at his own answer, running a hand through his hair while awkwardly avoiding your eyes. His actions were oddly charming, forming an unconscious grin on your face. "I meant it when I said I find you cute. You don't have to say anything, though. Just take it as a compliment or something."

"Why thank you, kind sir," was your amused response before composing yourself and giving him a genuine smile. "I needed that."

He snorts at that. "With five bottles of soju? Who would've guessed?"

"I suppose you're not wrong," you went along with his observation, eyes trailing along the bottles he had just finished placing in a plastic bag. "Also, what the hell was I thinking? I can't finish all of this tonight."

"You can give some of them to me if you want. I'll pay you back the amount."

You quirked an eyebrow at him as you handed over your payment. Thankfully, you had half the mind to bring money with you when you stormed out earlier. "Is that really fine with you?"

"My shift is almost over, anyway. A drink after would be nice," he shrugs nonchalantly. The information had you thinking. You'd hate to be drinking alone right now, so perhaps having him as a companion for a while wouldn't be too bad.

You bit your lip lightly before asking, "Do you want to drink a bit with me?"

"Oh," he reacts blankly at first, clearly not expecting the offer. His face revealed his thought process like a window, the gears turning in his head as he tried to piece together what you had just said. It wasn't long until he caught up, though, and with a shy grin he finally answered, "Sure."

You beamed brightly for the first time that day. "Sweet. I'm Y/N, by the way."

"Jisung. Han Jisung."

And the clock strikes twelve.

Just like Cinderella, everything started changing after that night. You had gained a new friend—or at least that was what you called him for now, even if you damn well knew friends certainly did not feel this kind of attraction towards each other. It was almost embarrassing to admit how much your heart leapt in happiness whenever you two were together, and you swore that if it continued any longer, you'd end up floating amongst the clouds. His gaze alone already sent a buzzing shiver all throughout your body, your mind going into overdrive at the sheer amount of emotion Jisung was able to pull out of you with somewhat concerning ease. He could melt you to a puddle on the ground with a single word, no questions asked. Maybe it was his frustratingly smooth voice, but the guy charmed his way into your heart in a matter of literal days. Either he knew what he was doing or you were just a hopeless simp—and no, you refused to ever admit the latter out loud.

So it was to no one's surprise when you agreed to his request to take you out on a date. And after the first one, more followed. Jisung's plans were, as one would say, straight out of fiction. Stuff that you knew existed in real life but never thought would have the same spark as its literary counterpart. Well, you really should have expected it, but Jisung certainly proved you wrong. The guy was an absolute romantic, and that translated well into everything he did between you two. Though you found out through your talks that he had a big love for the angsty stuff—to which you could only wish you wouldn't find yourself in that situation too soon. It was only when you felt a warm hand casually slipping into yours with a reassuring gentle squeeze that you realized.

God, you may have already fallen for Han Jisung.

There was no doubting it. When the night sky you had just cursed out weeks ago for reminding you of the dragging day you had was replaced with waves of affection and happiness, you knew there was no way you could doubt it even if you wanted to. That whenever you closed your eyes to rest, the darkness only brought images of you and Jisung screaming each other's name into the distance in an attempt to replicate a cliched scene of professing one's love during one of your many nightly picnic dates. Joyful laughter echoed under the stars as hands held each other's, a silent promise that didn't need to be said out loud for you to know what it meant. The moon was a witness to the blooming portrait of memories being painted at the very moment when you two had made it official.

You also particularly loved the moments that you shared indoors, where it was just you and Jisung. The comfort of being alone together was one of the things that came more naturally, especially with him leaning on the introverted side. This was where you found him thriving best, and it warmed your chest to see him so in his element. Whether it was his place or yours, there was never a dull moment, even if you two weren't doing anything. Then there were also the times where you did do something—quickly developing a soft spot for your domestic activities with Jisung. The sound of the oven working its magic was faintly heard in the background while he danced you slowly in the flour-covered kitchen from your earlier baking shenanigans.

Loving Jisung felt like second nature to you, as if you'd been doing it for years. Perhaps you did. The concept of soulmates wasn't new to you; only that you hadn't given it any more attention than mere acknowledgement. Yet, something about Jisung made you feel like changing your stance on the matter. Slowly but surely, he had taken over you.

And you didn't fight it one bit.

His lips were an inviting shade of pink as he went on about his newest interest. You really didn't mean to stare, but he made it a challenge for you to not have your full attention on him alone. To the point that you hung onto every word he said, whatever topic he brought up, you made a mental note of it to bring up at other times when it might be appropriate. Oh, how you wanted to stop time and just continue to admire the man Han Jisung is.

Sometimes you couldn't even believe he was yours. You knew your eyes dripped with love every time you had your gaze fixed on him, but it always caught you off guard when you noticed the same look in his eyes—and it was directed towards you. They always shone with tender gratitude and warmth mixed with fondness, making your breath hitch at the sheer intensity. If this was all a dream, you hope you'd never wake up.

"Hey now," you heard Jisung's voice call out to you softly. Warm hands cupped your face gently to ground you back to reality. "What's with that look, baby?"

You sighed dreamily, leaning in more towards his touch. "How are you real?"

"This again?" Jisung chuckles at your misty gaze pinned at him as if he could disappear in the blink of an eye. "I am. And I'm right in front of you."

"You're so good to me," you mumbled in a quiet whisper, starting to feel drowsy from the comfort he provided you at the moment. You could hear Jisung's heart flip at your honest words.

"Which is what you deserve," he leans in closer to press a light but passionate kiss on your lips before pulling away to stare at you with eyes containing hundreds of unsaid dedication. "I love you."

"I love you more."

Dating Han Jisung was something you had never expected to happen, but now you wouldn't have it any other way.

mastertag 🔖— send in an ask if you want to be added ! 🫶

@tyuniiz @lhskokoro @bookishcalls @comet-falls @starlostseungmin @ameliesaysshoo @jeonginwrld

[stevethehairington]

thinking about the thing i saw today that said lfj said in an interview that originally tommy was supposed to be into eddie and now im thinking okay but what if that's TRUE what if tommy and eddie started hanging out and tommy WAS into eddie and he tried to kiss him, he DID kiss him, and eddie is like woah woah, im not. um. im not gay. and tommy is like oh, sorry, it's just. i was, well, i was getting vibes, but clearly i was wrong so sorry. and eddies like uhhh vibes what. and tommy makes some comment that's roughly along the lines of like just, are you sure? and eddies like uhh yes?? pretty sure??? and tommys like okay okay, forget i said anything. friends? and eddies like friends. and so they're fine, and tommys fine and eddies fine, except — except eddies not fine because he can't stop thinking about what tommy said. and it like keeps him up at night, like he's trying to think back to what he did or said around tommy that could've made him think that eddie was gay. and maybe he's sitting with hen and chim one day after that (buck is sleeping or not on shift today or just doing something else so it's just the three of them) and eddie just blurts out do i ever, like, act gay? like, have i ever done anything that has made you think that i like men. and hen and chim share a Look (because HELLO YES EVERY DAY DJSKS) but they find ways to give eddie like. nonanswers, because they don't want to tell him yes and send him on a spiral. but also he's already spiraling so like it doesn't matter lol. but yeah tommys comment and the chat with hen and chim are... Enlightening in ways and eddie ends up doing A Lot of Thinking and Reevaluating and Soul Searching. and he maybe finally comes to the Realization that oh. he might maybe like men. that might be. A Thing. tommy might have been right. and it is while all of this is happening that tommy starts hanging out with buck more and then buck has HIS Realization and suddenly buck and tommy are together and eddie's got this very weird feeling in his gut about it and he knows it's not because he has a problem with them being into men. and he knows it's not because he dislikes either of them, they're both his friends! and then maybe one day at work they're all just talking and someone's telling a story and describing the way someone was acting in a situation, and eddies listening to it like that sounds... that sounds like how im feeling. and then he realizes that, oh. it's jealousy. he's jealous. that's what that ugly feeling is. only... he KNOWS he's not jealous of tommy because he didn't feel anything when tommy kissed him. so that means.... that means it must be — buck. and it hits him then. he's in love with buck.

and it's like. the WORST time for that realization to happen, because buck seems so happy right now, more comfortable in his skin than ever and he's got a boyfriend and they're doing GOOD — at least eddie thinks they are anyway. so he just. keeps it to himself. doesn't want to upstage buck, doesn't want to do anything to compromise his happiness either. so he sits with his realization and he lowkey suffers in silence.

until one day buck just casually drops that he and tommy broke up. no hard feelings or anything, they just weren't feeling the spark that had been there at the beginning anymore, so they parted as friends. and eddie is like. bluescreening a little on the inside bc he's secretly THRILLED, but also he does not want to just. throw himself at buck, he literally just got out of a relationship! so he fully intends to just. keep sitting on his feelings. he's held out this long, what's a little longer right?

but then buck ends up beating him to the punch with a confession of his own, because turns out eddie kind of was part of the reason he and tommy broke up — because tommy helped him realize that he was bi, but he also helped him realize that he's been in love with eddie this whole time. and of course eddie confesses right back, and they are both OVER THE MOON and they kiss about it and they're finally FINALLY together <3

but yes, that is how eddie diaz realizes that he likes Men, but specifically evan buckley <3

[preciadosbass]

28/7/14 [draft from yesterday]

woke up at 11:47 to my parents in my doorway. mum started putting stuff on my bed but i though it was just stuff of mine that id left around the house but it turned out she’d bought me some stuff which is really nice. she got me socks [because i only have one non-fluffy pair], slippers [because our dogs hair is everywhere and my pyjamas end up getting the hair all over the house, even after the place has been hoovered], and purple trainers [because beforehand i only had my converse + knee high converse, and they were both getting muddy and causing me blisters when i go on walks.] i feel extra bad about the argument we had last night now.

i was super tired and my eyes still felt like they were glued shut but i decided not to go back to sleep. i got a little anxious when i saw my ex bestfriend was sad so i sent him a message telling him that i’m here for him and stuff. i still care about him so much, even if we don’t talk anymore. i watched a mikey way complication and listened to a podcast with the way brothers on up until 1:20 when i had a nap [im lazy, i know]

i should mention, i had the weirdest dream. so excuse how bad this explanation is going to be. me and kellin [quinn] were both teens and we were at a restaurant. he had tacky plastic skates on and started doing backflips in them? and running on the spot and joking about being chased? it was such a strange dream to have, especially because i haven’t had one in ages. also, my dad was there for some reason lmaoo

i woke up at around 2 and stayed with boris until 3:20 before i had something to eat and started researching a few crime cases. id been thinking about reading a bit of my sylvia plath book but i got in another argument with my parents [not really with my dad] and practically went into sensory overload so i went in my room and scrolled through ed related things on reddit. although i just wanted to have a conversation with them.

my dad lets things go easier, but mum tends to start saying ‘maybe you’d be happy if i’m not here’ and stuff like that, which i have never and would never imply to her. it just makes me feel like shit, she acts like i’m not allowed to be mad. and i feel absolutely terrible writing this, especially because of the whole gift thing from earlier, and i know shes probably just stressed, and i love her, but nobody acknowledges that i am too. they never do, whatever i do seems to anger my mum. anyway, i spiralled writing this and i don’t wanna turn it into a complete vent post, so let’s carry on.

i carried on scrolling through reddit until like 8 where i went on a walk with all of my family [which we haven’t done in at least a year]. didn’t get off to a good start because the second i walked outside my sister dropped her phone on our rock driveway and smashed her phone to pieces.

she was arguing about paying for the damage up until we got to the park when she went back home with my dad. me and my mum carried on walking while we did would you rather because anything else was starting an argument. we ended up doing so right before we got home but at least i walked for an hour today, i wish it’d been more though. also at one point she asked me if i was questioning my gender like WHAT?? why didn’t i take the opportunity to tell her ffs.. when i got home i obviously said hi to boris and then scrolled on twitter for a bit.

one of my acquaintance’s [i call anyone my age that i know that, because i know people, but they’re not nice to me whatsoever, we don’t hang out, they bully me, i don’t consider them a friend etc] was being their usual self again. i try everything i can to politely escape them/avoid them but i just don’t know how. id feel bad cutting contact with no explanation but if i told them all the disgusting things they do they’d deny it. but i know i have to at some point, they’re such a bad person and i’m tired of putting up with them.

anyway, i feel like i seem like a bitch for not liking them, and the problem in every scenario i’ve written about today so let me know if anyone actually reads this and wants to know what makes her such a bad person. after seeing that i listened to some evanescence and i was just about to put on my fight club dvd i got from a bootsale a while ago when my dad said he was ready for me to ask questions about boris soon so i went up to their room.

we actually didn’t argue tonight because i was able to get on with it quite quickly so i did my teeth and said goodnight to boris around 3. he again started purring before id even started stroking him, he’s so precious. also went over my cals by like 60 today so that sucks

have a good day/night -_<

[wimbledon2008]

so i just finished the captive prince series about a week ago and am rereading it now. just finished the hello lover scene and honestly im still so confused over what's going on in laurent's head lmao like??

was he previously compartmentalizing his resentment so well that real feelings developed, but now he finally has a chance to truly let his anger out, he's locking down the positive feelings?

was he being truthful about manipulating damen the whole time (highly unlikely to me)? or was the cruelty in and of itself a play, either to push damen away despite not actually wanting to, or some other convoluted reason? bc damen really would have done anything he asked, trying to outmaneuver him like that was unnecessary.

my first theory feels the most right to me, and he just needed more time to process and purge his desire for revenge but idk im a taurus and very akielon coded. i love laurent but i do not understand that man lol

okay, disclaimer, i haven't read the books in quite some time so this probably isn't the fullest or deepest analysis. i welcome any additions or corrections from those who are better at meta than me <3

so the hello lover scene is incredibly complex and nuanced, a standard of pacat's writing that makes his works so infinitely re-readable. based on my personal understanding of the scene, there are a few key things that help to explain why laurent behaves the way he does in the tent scene:

1. laurent needs damen and the akielons to win against his uncle, which he very much wants to do. charcy didn't go how he'd originally planned, and he knows damen is pissed about it and probably thinks the worst of laurent right now - that he intentionally abandoned the akielons at charcy for his own purposes. so laurent is being manipulative; he is trying to outmaneuver damen. because what damen says is true: laurent has no allies, no friends, he's ruined his reputation by aligning himself with akielos, etc. we as the readers know that damen cares deeply for laurent and wouldn't just abandon him, and if laurent simply explained what happened and asked damen to help him, damen wouldn't hesitate to stay at his side. but laurent doesn't think damen has any reason to trust him, so laurent can't trust damen either. so instead of being honest, he chooses to be cold-blooded, to assert control over the situation and force damen's hand to ensure that the alliance he worked so hard to establish stays intact. he could've just asked, but this is laurent, and there are other factors at play, such as the fact that

2. laurent is already in love with damen by the tent scene, or at least most of the way there. but laurent can no longer pretend damen is anyone other than the person who killed his brother. damen walks into that tent as prince damianos, in full akielon regalia, covered in blood, with a sword. laurent has been doing some aggressive compartmentalizing, especially in order to have allowed himself to sleep with damen. who killed his brother, which was the inciting incident that made laurent's life a living hell. laurent has not forgiven damen for auguste, and he's having to really confront that hatred and anger for maybe the first time since the first book. and laurent is also punishing himself for caring for and sleeping with damen, his brother's killer. can you even imagine? it's better not to. laurent probably hates himself as much as he hates damianos in that moment. so he shoves all those glimmering, positive feelings down because he wants to hurt damen, and himself too. and none of this is particularly rational because

3. laurent is very upset at the beginning of king's rising. this is an understatement. he's still reeling from nicaise's death, which he blames himself for, he's losing damen, the only person he trusted, he was recently stabbed, and everything is spiraling out of his tightly held control. and when laurent is upset he's cruel. he's not at his best in the tent scene. he's clinging to his own self-preservation, and he's making it up as he goes along because whatever his original plan was got blown to hell, which is clear because he's saying shit that doesn't even make sense. see, e.g., this post about him allegedly enduring damen's "fumbling attentions" to win a battle he didn't even know about at the time. while laurent is being cold and ruthless to secure his position as best he can (see no. 1), he's also acting from a place of emotion instead of strict rationality, which is how he typically operates, and how he prefers to act. he's on the defensive, he's deeply confused and unable to cope with all of his conflicting feelings about damen, and he's lashing out - protecting himself before damen can hurt him first. and then damen literally sticks his thumb in his stab wound. basically: our boy laurent's going through it in a major way.

going back and re-reading your message i realize i've essentially just reiterated everything you initially said but with a lot of extra words. so i guess the long and short of it is: you're right. honestly there are so many ways to interpret the tent scene and everything else laurent says and does, which is what makes him so fascinating! so thanks for giving me the opportunity to dive back into his psyche for a little while <3

[crescentrivers]

LONG POST TIME!!! Expanding on the swap au mentioned in this post cause a few people seemed interested and also I just wanted to.

Edit: this post is kind of outdated for the au and its cringe so ignore it, more roleswap stuff coming eventually maybe

The idea was originally just a joke like “what if Pokey and Paul were role swapped lol that would be fun to draw sometime for like a shitpost or for like next April fools” but it spiraled because like the original post mentioned my brain cannot leave things alone

So the lords in black + Webby are humans and some characters that were originally human take their place, I know that’s been done before but who becomes gods is different I think. I haven’t really decided who’s swapped with who, (other than Pokey and Paul are swapped and Webby and Hannah are swapped) but it’ll probably ended up being the LIB swap with their blorbos. The only thing is it’s kind of hard to picture some of these characters as that kind of evil, so I wouldn’t say they’re all chaotic evil now but they’re absolutely some kind of evil.

(It’s not like a super direct roleswap all the time but the main idea is the og gods are humans and some humans are the gods now.)

I don’t have much decided with this au yet (if you have ideas I’d love to heard them) but what I do have down I’ll put under the cut:

So human names

Pokey - Porter

Blinky - Bentley

Tinky - Terrance

Nibbly - Nathan

Wiggly - William

Webby - Willow

All of them are half siblings (except Wiggly and Webby might be twins my age headcanons keep changing) who have the same mom. They had a rough childhood and their family is very dysfunctional, they’re able to reconnect in most timelines but the stories usually start with their relationship being strained in some way.

Hannah is the youngest of the gods, Webby/Willow met her when she was a kid. At the time they acted around the same age but Willow being a human aged faster (Hannah’s actually like a few hundred years older than Willow at the least) so Hannah’s still a kid/teen. She has matured some since then though so she doesn’t act the exact same as when they met. I think that when they met Hannah would’ve been more chaotic neutral, not really understanding right and wrong and just wanting to have fun (kind of like the Collector from TOH) but thanks to her friendship with Willow she started to understand the value of life on Earth and that the adult gods are kind of awful people, so now she tries to protect humanity.

Another thing I can talk more about is what the roleswapped TGWDLM would be about since that’s where this au idea first started, still not like fully decided but there is some interesting stuff involving it.

Unlike TGWDLM where the story is sort of from the hives POV and the hive/Pokey makes choices that would point to them seeing Paul as the musical’s main character, Paul doesn’t really care about Porter, only putting special focus on him when he gets in his way. The story is more just from Porter’s POV.

It starts with Porter returning to his hometown of Hatchetfield because a musical he’s acting in is on tour there (the musical is either Mamma Mia like in TGWDLM or Santa Claus is Going to Highschool I haven’t decided which) so he reunites with his half siblings. But nothing good ever happens in Hatchetfield so a meteor crashes into the theater. Then the mayor (whoever that is in this au) just bans musicals. Note the anti musical thing isn’t a big part of Paul’s motivations in this au, it’s just kind of a thing that’s happening. If you’re going to take over the world with a hivemind you might as well ban the thing you don’t like, right? The only reason the story focuses on it at all is that this is from Porter’s POV and he’s a massive theatre kid.

Im not sure what Paul’s exact motivations are in this au, probably power/just wanting control or him trying to bring some fucked up kind of order/peace through mind control. Probably a mix of both idk. Also I don’t know what their real names are in this au but they aren’t Paul and Hannah, combing up with fancy eldritch names is hard.

In an alternate timeline where this is the musical we got instead of TGWDLM the gimic would obviously be different since the hivemind is no longer musical. Basically I picture that it would start with big grand ensemble numbers with even the solos or smaller group songs having back up singers, but overtime as more people succumb to the hive the numbers gets smaller and smaller as less people are left to participate. I’m not sure if that means the songs are diegetic and the musical-ness is actually being sucked out of the world or if it’s just a metaphorical thing to show how people keep getting infected.

Porter is upset but his siblings don’t really take things seriously until like murder starts happening and it becomes clear more is going on under the surface. So it becomes the family’s goal to survive and that goes about as well as it did for the gang in canon TGWDLM. Eventually this leads to Porter trying to destroy the hive by blowing up the meteor which also goes about as well as it did for Paul in canon TGWDLM.

Also through all this BS Porter has some kind of character arc. He probably starts of kind of egotistical and self centered, he’s not nearly as evil as canon Pokey but he’s kind of selfish and generally a jerk to those around him, mans probably has some kind of main character complex. But through all the horrors he probably starts to open up and be nicer to those around him, he still has a lot of an ego but he’s an actually nice guy who cares about his family and just wants to stop the force that’s hurting them.

If anyone actually read all of this I love you

[whorekneecentral]

please give me some esteban breakup sex make it sad make it angsty make it him thinking he’s breaking up for your benefit and it’s painful

oh ho ho im fucking with it

the tears fall, the words spoken and he can't take it back, no matter how much he wanted too. it was for the best.

or so he thought.

esteban held your hand, the two of you in the middle of your living room. he's apologized a million times over, telling you he wasn't sure what else he could do, this had to be done.

he pulls you into a hug, it's the very least he could do after breaking up with you. you clung to him, racking your brain to try and understand this.

all esteban wanted to do was make you feel better, to comfort you and talk away all the pain he caused you.

his hand cups your jaw as you looked up at him, tears running down your face, your hand pressed to his chest. he knows he shouldn't - he can't but he can't help himself.

he leans down and kisses you.

it spirals, the two of you stumbling back to the couch. esteban's hand rests on your hip to stop you, "baby, we can't - this is a mistake."

"we can," you whispered to him. "please." you looked up at him, you can feel how fast his heart beats under your palm.

he's already broken your heart once for today, he can't bring himself to say no to you again.

he gives into you, letting you take charge. the clothes piles up on the floor and your hands wandering over your boyfriend - no ex-boyfriend when you get on his lap.

esteban kisses you, flipping you two over. Your legs are up on his shoulders and the man leans down to kiss you, pushing into you. your hips jut towards him, body betraying you. 

his arm wrapped around your legs, holding them in place when he pushes in a little more, letting you take all of him. 

esteban can already feel you clench around him, “relax,” he tells you, a hand rubbing your thigh.  

your hand finds his bicep, nails digging into it when he leans down to kiss you. “take it so well.” he mumbles against your lips before lifting off your legs a bit.

his hand wraps around your neck, fingers squeezing against the soft flesh. a little whimper slips past your lips, your hand sliding down to wrap around his wrist. 

esteban's eyes fixed on you; chest heaving, the thin layer of sweat across your soft skin made it glisten under the white light of the living room, your hand wrapped around his wrist. 

a literal angel on earth if you asked him. now he's wondering if he made the right choice.

[may-i-have-loops]

Ehheje day three enjoy todays story

Sal knew from the day he met tommy and started dating him that the man wanted a family or to at least start a family with someone. So he is a little suprised when tommy asked him to come over after a shift cause he wanted to talk.

Sal also knew that whenever someone says those words it's a little concerning and did he end up spending the rest of shift jittery and nervous well the answer is no he's not nervous he has no reason be...right?

Pulling up to tommys house (soon to be their house) should not have been this hard to do. Especially since he has been sitting here for a few minutes already just staring at his hands.

"Might as well get this over with" sal said with a dejected sigh as he exited the car.

Tommy let him in of course and sits him down on the couch with a nervous expression on his face. Shouldnt he be the one that's nervous?

"Alright let me start" tommy turned around from where he was standing. "Sal you and I have been dating eachother for some time and i think we are ready for th-" sal stopped listening his world slowing down around them...holy shit is this really happening? Is this really what's about to happen? He's not mad about it he'd say yes in a heartbeat.

"So please baby, don't be mad alright? Im going to go get them" Tommy then turns around and goes down the hall and goes into the extra bedroom.

"Huh?" Shit sal was in trouble what did tommy say? Something about someone getting too old? Kids?. He sees tommy return with a small sheepish smile and with what looks like a basket? Sal confused stands up and goes over to peek inside and what he sees honestly suprises him. Stumbling back from tommy with his eyebrows damn near touching his hairline.

"Now I know we said that we should wait a bit more before deciding anything big and we just moved in together but I couldn't help it sal! On one of calls there was an elder woman who couldnt look after them anymore and look at them aren't they cute?" Tommy says with a wide smile on his face dimples showing. The type of smile that makes you want to smile too.

Sal lifts the cloth covering the basket and three puppies heads pop up from underneath. Three Labradors all of them are black and white spotted as he starts moving his hand up to pet one he finally notices that tommy is still talking.

"Tommy..Tommy.. hey" Sal better stop him before this Idiot (affectionately) talks himself into a frenzy. He puts his hand on tommy's cheek and puts the other on the basket.

Tommy finally stops talking himself into a frenzy to look at sal.

"Yeah?" Tommy asks with a quizzical expression on his face.

Sal takes his hand off tommy's face and puts it on the basket and takes it from tommy's hands and places it on the ground. The puppies of course jumping immediately out of it running everywhere.

"I'm gonna be honest this sure as hell suprised me" sal chuckles, looking up into tommy's eyes and smiling. "But I'm not exactly upset more like just stunned so stop spiraling"

Tommy smiles at him "Really?" "Yes" he stands on his tip toes to kiss tommys nose. "What ate their names?" He asks, as he gets down from his tiptoes damn him for being so tall but damn he loves this man.

"The one with what looks like a heart on their head is lucky, the white one with black spots is you guessed it..spot, and finally the one with the two white spots on their eyes is peach" Tommy says, proudly like a proud father cheering for their kid at a game.

Sal smiles more at that "we will have to get the necessary items to take care of them and get them shots you know that?" He says, teasingly knowing tommy he already made an appointment with the vet.

"Done and I was hoping you could come with me so we can pick out collars together" tommys cheeks are starting to redden as he looks away.

"Not suprised you did" sal goes to kiss him again but they hear a loud thud from behind tommy. "Here's an idea why don't we order in tonight and set the rest of the house up for them so they dont get hurt."

Sal exclaims, with a smile still on his face, he really needs to learn to say no to him.

"So it's okay that we keep them?" Tommy once again asks with a nervous expression again. "For the last time yes, now why don't you go order something for us. I'll find a place to put their basket." sal says, as he sits down on the couch lifting the basket from where it lay on the ground onto the coffee table.

As tommy walks away he can't help it but say "I do have to be honest again though tommy I'd thought you would have at least asked me to marry you before giving me kids" he says with a smile and if he heard a loud thump come from the kitchen followed by a "agh" he didn't tell anyone.