#im literally on my meal break but the beauty of working from home is that

[satancopilotsmytardis]

So many good bunny!Dabis today!!! I'm gonna have to draw the boy too

[gettinshiggywithit]

「“ᴍʀ & ᴍʀꜱ”」

Scenario :- “hmmm what about something like being kuni's housewife idk i just want him to come home and eat my meals” ( @diagonal-queen )

Pairing :- kunikida x wife!reader

Genre:- fluff!

Type:- headcannons!

TW:- mentions of sex but no actual nsfw!

A/N :- here’s a little something i did for @diagonal-queen!Hope y’all like it!

Okayyy so you wanna be MRS kunikida huh?

Let’s see what it’ll be like!

First off if you actually make the cut? Congratulations!

You’ve effectively beat out 99.99% of the women population 😭

But no fr if u and Kunikida actually get hitched that means you are his perfect person.

No matter what flaws you have or you think you have,to him it’s all immaterial.

And if you ever get down,remember he chose you!

If you guys get hitched and you wanna be a housewife he’s all for it!

Its very classic, if u know what i mean.

And he kinda likes that at least this one thing could be simple(in his not-at-all-simple life)

Let’s go back to your wedding day shall we?

Okay imagine after a beautiful ceremony yall go back to your room and then have the most romantic night ever.

Just you and him in each other’s company~

After that you move into his apartment and settle down.

Kunikida is a hard working lad so he most probably won’t be around much after your honeymoon.

He goes to work everyday without fail and comes back home to you,also without fail. (Although sometimes he’s a little more scraped up and scarred than usual)

He texts you to see if you’re okay during his breaks and always lets you know when he’s goin on a mission and where.

If he needs to cut communications cos it could interfere with the mission,he tells you and reassures you that everything would be alright

And honestly youre only worried about his and his colleagues safety.

Cos like let’s be real, a relationship with Kunikida would be secure af! Because we all KNOW he would never cheat!

On days where he gets days off he still works at home🥲 (im sorry but buddy NEEDSS to have his stuff in order

But when he’s done he spends his time with you.

Whether it be baking,watching a movie or your favorite show,or just cuddling or vibing,yall are together.

And lemme tell you mans is talll

He’d be the big spoon when cuddling btw!

Oh and on days when he does work he looks forward to coming home to you and unwinding~

Oh and he LOVESS your cooking!

It reminds him of his childhood and it’s just that good.

One time you suggest packing him some lunch for work and he later got sooo much shit from dazai (that bandaged bugget was making kissy faces and shit and jusy not letting mans eat!)

One time dazai sneaks a bite and then he’s like “okay yeah no i get it now”

(buddy takes a bite and says, serious as ever, “Kunikida…this food is truly magnificent! Please tell y/n to make me some on the day before my suicide🥰. He gets promptly whacked on the head☺️)

Oh and this man can COOK

in any instance where youre tired or dont feel like cooking,mans has got it!

Makes a simple yet delicious meal and astounds you~

OH! And imagine for your anniversaries he gives you a card and as you open it he says “doppo poet!” And he turns it into a mini bouquet! (And when i say mini,i mean it.remember guys he can only summon stuff that are smaller than or the size of his notebook!)

Oh and he never forgets important dates😌

He’s a little new to romance but is surprisingly good!

And when it comes to more intimate times, he knows exactly what to do and how to make it enjoyable for the both of you

(ROMANCE AND/OR EROTICA READING KUNIKIDA!!!!)

And in conclusion,

He’d literally be the best husband ever.all parents wish their daughters could marry him

And here you were! Doing just that!

I wish y’all the best frr♥️♥️

Tagging: - @kemis-world @diagonal-queen

All rights reserved © 2023 gettinshiggywithit . Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours.

[maizumis]

— HAIKYUU BOYS HAVING A TEA PARTY WITH YOUR DAUGHTER

ft. timeskip!miya atsumu, bokuto koutaro, oikawa tooru, kuroo tetsuro, iwaizumi hajime

note: female reader ‼️ watch me write about dad!haikyuu all the moments I didn't have with my own sperm donor

MIYA ATSUMU after a long day at work, you were coming home a little more late than usual and as you were opening the door with a sigh, the first thing you listen is “PEASANT, DO NOT TOUCH THE QWEEN CWON”, yeah that’s definitely your daughter and your pretty sure that the “peasant” is your, oh so-called husband. Curiosity took the best of you, now you were behind your daughter’s door listen carefully what atsumu was saying to her, “WHATYA MEANT PEASANT? I WANNA WEAR A CROWN TOO YA KNOW!” your daughter gasps in disbelieve, “daddy, mom is da queen, I’m da princess and yer the peasant! And clearly, mommy isn’t here so don’t touch her cwon!” One thing you know is that you wouldn’t like to see and hear a screaming match between the peasant and the princess in question, thinking that stepping in is the best option, you said “what’s the matter in here?”, next thing you know, your daughter with his big brown eyes that she got from her father, comes running at you, screaming “momm- I mean queen! Yeah, queen! yer just on time for the tea party, this peasant needs to learn some manners” you picked her up, enjoying the way her little arms go around your neck, “yeah? What did dada do this time?” while her face is on your neck, she tells you with a whisper “psss mom, he is not dad now, remember is tea party time” and now with her voice a little more loud she announces to you what he did “he wanted to use ya cwon!  Literally had to scream at him cause of that! Peoples this time are onbelivabol” the las part coming with a sigh, “ugh I now right? Why don’t we teach him some manners then?” After a little thinking, your daughter tells you “uh-huh! Yer right my queen, now I will leave to the bathroom and come back to continue this celebration”. While she leaves, atsumu comes at you with a back hug asking if ya really taking her side? with a low tone, so you replied with “of course I’m taking her side, she’s a child, our child in fact” atsumu looks at you with big eyes and tells you “she is right, people these times are onbelivabol but I still love you my queen”, now facing him, noses and foreheads touching each other you whisper to him “I love you to my peasant” and after a little chuckle you continue “thank you so much for this”.

 BOKUTO KOUTAROU he always had tea parties with his daughter on Mondays after his volleyball practice with the MSBY. He couldn’t go to last week's party because of an away game, and he was devasted and promised her little princess that he would get her something. Now he is coming home from the airport with three Elsa dresses, one for his precious child, the other for his precious wife, and the last one for him, it was very difficult to find one of his size cause of his beefy body, but if he promises his little girl something, he is gonna make it without a doubt. “HEY HEY HEY! GUESS WHOS HOME” he screams while putting his suitcase down “HEY HEY HEY DADDY! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! MOMMY IS MAKING DINNER WHILE I PREPARED OUR SUPER DUPER EXTRA TEA PARTY!!” he picks her up with one arm, making his way to the kitchen to involve you in a hug with the arm he had free “we missed you, kou” snuggling into his neck, and while his arm tightens around you he replies with a soft tone “missed my two girls too, so much” he puts her daughter on the floor again and tells her “missy I have a surprise for our tea party, why don’t you finish the preparations and then mom and I are gonna go there with dinner? Sounds good?” whit a little nod she answers with “yeah dada, that sounds good”. After hearing her enter her room you ask your husband what did he get for her, and when he tells you he didn’t get one, not two but three princess dresses you’re over the moon, the fuck you’re going to do with three dresses? you don’t question him and keep cooking as if you wouldn’t have to put on a frozen show in less than half an hour. “BABY IM COMING TO YOUR ROOM WITH HOT FOOD, BE CAREFULL” the little girl sees you in all your glory, with the most beautiful Elsa dress she ever saw “MAMA, WHY YOU DIDNT TOLD ME ELSA LET YOU BORROW HER DRESS? YOU'RE SO PWETTY!” laughing a little at her comment you decide that it was the best to tell her is a secret between adults, excited to see her reaction when her dad comes to her room with the same dress on him and a little one for her. “IM COMING IN!” your husband yells and your daughter’s eyes are the bigger you ever saw them, running like the flash to steal the dress that was in his dad's hands. “Daddy, that dress is so pwetty on you, and there's one for me! We are all matching! And now we are gonna have our four curse, ugh no, cruse, ump corse, mommy how do I say it?”, “course darling, four meal course. Now dada, why don’t you come to eat with us this fancy dinner?” after nodding and making his way to the both of you, bokuto thinks he is gonna ask for another kid one of these days.

[wizkiddx]

i saw that you at least used to write for harry could u do another? like maybe im just a basic bitch but 'only one bed' trope or sm

Summary: honestly just me shitty attempt at the only one bed thing ahah with Harry Holland x reader

no warnings I don’t think apart from my ramabling :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God you were groggy. It had been a long 16 hour flight and you were well and truly completely over this day. Once you’d had some proper sleep, no doubt you will be beyond excited to explore the forest and beaches of this remote island in Indonesia. You were certain it was beautiful, even if you’d arrived in the dead of night so you couldn’t see any of the majesty yet. It was one of the joys of being Tom’s makeup artist - travelling the world and being paid for it? A literal dream. 

Except maybe the previous 24 hours. The Holland name carried a lot of weight in the world, but not enough to control typhoons across the tropics - there were some limitations to his power. And yes first class lounges were nice but none had beds to crash on during the 6 hour weather delay. The four of you (Tom, Harry, Andrew and yourself)  ended up camping out in a out-the-way corner. Tom got the long sofa; Andrew in one of those weird egg line chairs; you and Harry splayed on the floor. Why you’d had to get up at 4 am to catch a flight that was now not departing till 12 hours later actually hurt to think about - especially because you’d all gone out for a meal the night before that had inevitable went a lot later than planned. 

Two connecting flights with a very angry baby later, the four of you were checking in to the only hotel on the island - which was now almost exclusively filled with the production team for Tom’s newest movie. It wasn’t especially big-budget with massive million pound overheads, instead a smaller scale indie film (that you privately thought might earn Tom a number of accolades). But yeh, shooting on an island that received almost no tourism meant everything was different to the usual. None more so than for Tom and his team (including you) who he normally would look after very well, with the nicest hotel rooms or rental homes. 

The hotel was basic, you’d known that before you arrived but seeing is believing is it not? Most entertaining though, was seeing Tom’s face. Andrew was a well travelled older guy, he had stayed in some shitholes in his life. Equally you and Harry had both travelled when you were younger (you through inter railing and him in australia), so had stayed in hostels before. But for Hollywood star Tom Holland? The way he tilted his head to the side as if to say ‘really this place?’ did lift your spirits momentarily. 

Andrew had got his key first, bidding you all good night with a grunt, then Tom - who still seemed confused as to the whole arrangements. It left you and Harry at the small dingy reception, the warm glow of an old lantern-esque light fixing illuminating the place. The guy behind the desk was a smiley local and greeted you warmly, if incorrectly.

“Ah and finally the couple I see!” He spoke with a thick accent but still very clear English which had you questioning if this was just a translational error. Harry looked at you instantly, his eyes wide which made you scoff - him joining in, shaking his unruly curly mop emphatically.

“No no we um… we aren’t together.” All the while Harry pointed between the two of you, communicating through actions rather than just the language, given that you were both the very typical Brits abroad who hadn’t learnt the language of the place they were visiting. 

“Still under Holland name?” The guy asked in a perplexed manner, flicking through a book filled with cursive scribbles and scanning to see if he’d made a mistake. He checked one, then looked up nervously before checking the same page once again- you saw where this was going. ”We, we only have couples room down for you though? 3 double rooms is the booking for Holland.” 

It was late, you both stunk of a combination of plane and BO, you both just wanted your individual and respective beds. 

“Well can we get another room then?” Harry didn’t quite snap but there was still an impatientcy to his voice, which came out whenever he was a little agitated. Seeing the slightly worried look the mans eyes, you leaned onto the desk with a genuine smile. 

“Sorry we know its last minute and its not your fault, we’ve just had a really long flight.”

“I am terribly sorry miss but we are only small hotel and Hollywood has filled us up. I have no other rooms. I am truly sorry sir, ma’am.” The guy went from looking worried to terrified as Harrys jaw tensed up, you naturally squeezed his arm to try and ground him, instantly deciding that you’d just work it out. 

“No no it’s not your fault, don’t worry we’ll figure it out. Can I just get the key?”

Harry stepped back and let youtakeover proceedings, signing all the insurance documents etc and asking the man about the breakfast arrangements and such, though you saw him furiously typing on his phone and by the buzzing in your pocket- presumed he was messaging the group of you Tom, Andrew and himself. 

Once finished the guy pointed you on your way, up two flights of stairs and down a hall. The whole time Harry was muttering about how useless the other two were for not replying and also for making the wrong booking in the first place. If only you hadn’t been the last two to checkin, then it would’ve been someone else’s problem.

He felt especially guilty just because you were the only girl-  he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, hence why he was trying to locate his brother so they could share tonight till they got it figured out. The tension, combined with sleep deprivation, was palpable as you both walked in silence toward the room - Harry was trying to formulate a plan in his head as they did so. And honestly? You just couldn’t be bothered to deal with it. So, once you reached the door 57 holding the physical key (old school, rather than a key card) you just decided to address it. 

“Will you chill please?” 

“Well if my idiot broth-“

“Oh leave him be for god sake. If you’re okay with it I really don’t mind sharing with you tonight?” Not bothering to laugh at his slightly shocked expression with mouth hanging a little open, you fiddled with the key until the lock clicked open. From the entrance you had a pretty clear view of the whole room and… well, lets just say dated would be a fair expression - when compared to what you were used to? The floor was tiled and the bed was a small double, with some funky and slightly washed out prints of blue and red on the cover. The pillows looked a little limp, more like glorified pieces of cardboard than anything fluffy and comfortable. The walls were that yellowy magnolia shade that everyone in the UK had gone insane for in the 80s and there was an old school wooden wardrobe in the corner. 

Home for 5 weeks. 

With a shrug of your shoulders you entered, dumping your personal and work suitcases by the far wall carelessly - the higher priority action being to collapse on the bed. Doing so with an overdramatic huff, you let your eyes close but payed special attention to the delayed footsteps of Harry as he entered, then the slight creaking noise as he perched on the other side of the bed - no doubt looking at you, at least slightly fearfully. 

The relationship between you and Harry was complex to say the least. Well no… it should be, not on the face of it. You had met through work and made friends. And you wished it was that simple but alas, nothing ever really is. When you’d first worked with Tom you were in the tail end of a relationship you had long since forgotten about - literally meaningless, not worth the time and effort you’d put into it. From the start you’d had a feeling Harry was more interested in you than the average co-worker (even if your job and therefore co-workers were anything but normal and average) but you were in a relationship so nothing ever came. 

Then almost as if synchronised, just as you got out your relationship, Harry threw himself in the deep end with a girl he’d met through his family friends. Then the roles were somewhat reversed, you now spent a good chunk of your day just entertaining yourself with thoughts of the curly headed, slightly awkward, very-passionate-about-tea-making Holland. The cliche is so real - your always want what you cannot have. 

However, a couple months ago his relationship had fizzled and faded away leaving both of you in a sort of no mans land. The sort of not wanting to ruin the friendship situation. The subject was never broached by either you - except you assumed he was being tormented in a similar way to how you were by his big brother and Andrew. Never publicly, yet whenever you found yourself alone in a room with one of them (being Tom’s makeup artist that happened often enough) there would always be a sly dig. The chemistry was  so ‘obvious even a blind man could see it’. Somehow though, weeks of this and your were still stuck. Stuck in the middle. 

“You sure you’re alright with this?” His voice was gruffer and hoarser from the long journey but you could hear the self-consciousness and naivety in his tone, without having to peel your eyes open and look at his face. 

“I know your not a murder and plus, we shared the airport floor this morning… this is pretty much the same.” He hummed in acknowledgement so you carried on “and plus your pint sized.” That earned you a playful shove in the side as you sniggered, before pulling yourself up so you we now sitting next to him, legs hanging off the edge of the bed. His brown eyes searched deeply into yours, as if physically checking for any hint of regret or hesitation. “Don’t even dare offering to go on the floor.” 

“Okay okay okay!” Holding his hands up in surrender, you both laughed, breaking the peace of the late night of the remote Indonesian island. Once an impressive yawn interrupted you though, Harry proclaimed it was time for bed and shooed you into the bathroom to get changed and sorted. 

Honestly you were too tired and lazy to dig out your cleanser and skin stuff, instead opting to just splash a bit of water on your face before swapping into your pj shorts and an old tattered oversized tee. Once done you and Harry swapped, him coming out a couple minutes later in basketball shorts and a black loose fitting tee. 

It wasn’t awkward so to speak, more a sort of excited-tense atmosphere, which there was no doubt Harry was mainly responsible. The boy was jittery and on edge, which to put simply, you didn’t have the energy to reciprocate. 

With a quiet wish of goodnight to each other, Harry flicked off the bedside lamp and you both rolled to your respective edges of the bed, a large space of no mans land between you. In the middle. You know the first time you share a room with someone and you overthink everything? When you don’t want to move about or fidget too much in case it disturbs the other? When your listening intently to their breathing, in the hope it’ll even out and only then will you feel able to fall asleep yourself? 

Well it doesn’t work when both of you are doing it. When both of you are professional over thinkers. 

God knows how long it took till you gave up, favouring sleep over your worries and concerns. So you flipped over, no doubt rocking the whole bed, turning to face his back that was still huddled almost teetering off the edge of the bed. The only light within the whole room was that coming under the actually scarily large gap between the floor and the door to the hallway. It was just enough to see the back of Harry’s curls and you must’ve fallen asleep trying to trace all the torturous and windy routes of the strands.

///////////

In the morning the process of waking up didn’t come easy to you as normal for many reasons; the long day prior; the jet lag; the weird surroundings. So you stayed in this sort of blissful haze for probably longer than you should. Half aware but not really; half asleep but not quite. In the middle  of sleep and alertness. Therefore it took you longer than it should have to notice the extra weight on the dip of your waist. Not anything alarming, just a presence you were absolutely not used to. It was only when you shifted a bit to lie further on your back, that enough of a stimulus from the added pressure made you actually open your eyes blearily. And sure enough, a limp hand looked to have casually and unconsciously been thrown over your side. 

As if in slow motion, you traced the arm backwards - first with your eyes, but then having to twist your neck too. Only then could you fully see the browny ginger haired boy who was lowkey spooning you? It was certainly a way to fully wake you up, breath halted to a stand still in your lungs, in fear of disturbing him and having to confront what would almost certainly be an awkward situation. 

There was still a safe hands width distance between the two of you except for the rogue arm. Harry’s head was placed to the edge of his pillow, mouth slightly parted as his breathing slightly tickled the wispy hairs on the back of your neck. He looked so peaceful and calm - a difference to the normal Harry who, even on a good day, took great pleasure in meticulously picking things apart and being a bit cynical. It was part of his ‘charm’; but seeing him like this was a type of vulnerability he rarely chose to show. 

To be fair he was asleep, he dint realise he was exposing himself in this way.

Finding yourself a little transfixed (a bit creepy but hey) on the natural curves and definition of his face, you ever so carefully rolled over in the bed to face him. It stopped you from craning your neck and gave the sleepy boy a slight nudge, making him tense his arm a little more tightly round you. 

He settled quickly though, giving you ample opportunity to just observe what was going on . Both right in front of you… and what the hell was going on in your head. Because to be honest it was an overwhelming amount of emotion thoughts for the early morning. 

Somehow you must’ve eventually drifted off once again because the next thing you were aware of was a shuffling from immediately next to you. This time though, you were instantly aware of exactly the situation you found yourself in and chose to keep up the pretence of sleep - a little interested in how Harry would play it. 

You heard a small gasp, having to suppress a chuckle at what you imagined Harry’s sleepy and panicked face looked like. That lasted a couple of moments, before you felt him painstakingly slowly peel his hand from your waist and if you were being 100% honest… you heart sort of sank. 

What you had been expecting?- you don’t know and really there was really no reason to be disappointed. Yet, you still felt this deflated and disappointed feeling, hit your chest especially hard. Perhaps it was because of your focus on that emptyness that you forgot you were supposed to be pretending to be asleep./.

Because when he had delicately brushed the side of your face to tuck a rogue bit of hair behind your ear - your eyes flickered open.  Like a rabbit caught in headlights, Harry froze, his hand still hovering over your jaw. Equally, you didn’t know what to do. Because really… do friends tuck hair behind the others ears? And do friends look at each other with this matched expression of confusion and fear? 

It took a painfully long time (though in reality was probably only a matter of seconds) before the boy retracted his hand, suddenly sitting up from his reclined position down at you. Mirroring his actions, you both ended up sitting, facing the opposite wall, bodies closer than they needed to be in the double bed. Both still very much in the middle. 

“I er-“

“-No no don’t… was nice of you” He had been about to apologise which you didn’t want to hear. You didn’t want to hear ‘ I didn’t mean it’ - you wanted him to mean it. In response Harry nodded jerkily, and from your peripheries, noticed he was searching your face for any sign of emotion.

“Still can’t believe this all happened… I-I didn’t disturb you too much did I?” He sounded really nervous. You were never like this with each other. So static and forced. 

“No no… I slept really good actually.” Your register was quieter, waiting till you’d finished speaking before looking over at him with a self conscious smile. 

“Ah I’m glad… I um-I did too.” The silence returned and the atmosphere just felt sharp. It felt like you were quite literally walking either side of a knife edge. It made you chew on your bottom lip, playing with the slightly frayed edges of the vintage quilt. 

“Y/n- I look…” He’d bolted upright and voice was more raised than normal for the morning. “This is gonna sound so fucking weird, especially cos we’re literally in the same bed but... but I was thinking we could maybe go on a hike or something together?” What he seemed to be suggesting didn’t match the level of panic that was conveyed in his body language which confused you. And what the bed had to do with it… was yet to make sense in your head. 

“I think Andrew said we’re getting some tour of island this afternoon so-“

“ I kinda meant just you and me.” 

The penny dropped and it had you focusing all energy on processing what was happening - understandably causing Harry to only worry more with the lack of response. “I’m sorry if I’ve ruined ever-“

“No I-I….I’d really like that too.”

“Oh er… well… really?” The sheer shock made you giggle, feeling the two of you sliding back into the normal dynamic.

“Normally a boy has to buy me a drink before he gets in my bed but….” A mischevious smirk that spread across your lips gave Harry the final confirmation that just maybe you were interested too, making him scoff and quietly chuckle.

It was odd; mainly because this was the two of you being incredibly vulnerable and honest with each other - something that you hadn’t allowed yourself to be for fear of messing things up. And then one lazy morning, both with morning breath and slightly puffy eyes, it changed. For the first time when you looked at him, he really saw - and vice versa. You were still in the middle of something, yet it was completely different. 

This time you were in the middle together figuratively as well as literally. In the middle of the bed, closer than you needed to be, but not wanting to retreat - while you both just looked shyly and bashfully at each… Eventually you lips hesitantly met in the middle. 

[caermis]

❝Pure Perfection...❞

Sugawara Koushi X Daichi Sawamura X Black!Reader

✑Characters 🍵Sugawara Koushi ☕Daichi Sawamura

✑Warnings -Suggestive NSFW -Talks of being overweight

✑Prompt/Summary: 🍵☕Daichi and Sugawara have always been close friends, but what happens when they Y/N L/N and immediately fall in love. I guess a friendly rivalry is always good.🍵☕

✑Notes -Y/D - Your Drink I love these two so much.

🍵 It wasn’t like their constant advances didn’t go unnoticed. Whenever you met with the two males, they both would silently glare at each other. The debate being who sat by who, before settling to sit by each other across from you. They both were persistent, having you neither deny nor accept their advances, but you enjoyed hanging around the duo.

🍵 Sitting at the usual back table, you take an occasional sip of Y/D, your eyes on your laptop screen, typing an essay for class. “Hey.” Sugawara slid into the seat across from me with a smile. “Heyo.” Smiling at him, he pulled out his laptop and opened it. Not fully sure if he was working, but I could feel him occasionally staring at me. Bringing my drink to my lips, I hide my smile.

🍵“I'm assuming Daichi isn’t coming?” Suga shook his head and leaned back. “He had a few things to do in Volleyball and help a few new members.” Both play for our College Prep, that was how we even met. Being a class above them, I was tasked to show them around. That’s how you became friends with the two.

🍵“Then why are you here?” Asking curiously, Sugawara sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. “To see you.” Smiling at him, I watched his face turn red. “You're super sweet, Sugawara.” He chuckled and started to ramble. “Yep, super sweet! No thoughts. A total saint. Clean minded, no dirty thoughts here.” While his rambles, he knocked his cup over. Moving my computer and his, I quickly grabbed a few napkins. “I'm sorry.” My fingers brushed against his. After wiping down the table and cleaning up the spill together, I sat back down.

🍵 “Sorry. You didn't need to help. I made the mess and all.” Sugawara frowned, and I lightly placed my hand over his and smiled. “It’s alright.” Pulling my hand away, I swear I heard him mutter, “I'm never washing this hand again.”

☕“It’s ok to make mistakes, Suga.” Daichi pressed his hand on top of Suga’s hand, the one I just held with a forced smile. Sugawara loudly gasped and yanked his hand back and cradled it to his chest. Daichi slid into the seat beside Sugawara and smiled at me. “Hey L/N.”

☕“Hey, Daichi.” Taking another sip, I continued typing. “L/N, would you like to go out on a date this Saturday?” Sugawara choked on his drink, while Daichi stared at them with a determined look and smile. “Hm. No, thank you. I have work Saturday.”

☕“Shot down again.” Hearing Daichi mumble, he was persistent. Not like you were playing hard to get, you just had work. “You’re such a tease, L/N.” I raised a brow and leaned forward, staring at Sugawara. “You know how we feel about you, but you turn us down with the same playful smile and kind eyes It’s not fair.”

☕ “Have you ever told me outright that you like me?” Suga and Daichi froze in their seats, before shaking their head. “Well, I like you L/N more than a friend like. I want to be with you.” My smile widened at Daichi’s immediate confession, so I turned to Sugawara.

☕“I like you too and I want to be with you.”

🍵☕ “Since we just confessing right here and right now. I guess I’ll go next. Suga and Daichi, I like you. Please go out on a date with me Friday.”

🍵☕They could have fainted. They should have fainted. The foreign exchange student from America with gravity-defying hair, whose brown skin seemed to glow, and her body fashioned by God himself had come down and blessed Daichi and Sugawara with such a chance to go out with this inhuman beauty.

🍵☕ The paced anxiously in front of your house, each dressed in a simple suit, Daichi in black and Sugawara in white. You all had agreed to go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant and then head back to your place since it was close to the restaurant. “If she comes out here looking like a whole snack, I'm fainting. You better fuckin catch me.” Sugawara and Daichi both came to a silent agreement. That if one of them fainted, they would slap the other awake.

🍵☕“Heyo.” You smiled at the two, wearing a simple black and white dress. Neither one thinking you would match them both so perfectly. “I might faint.” Sugawara could feel his face burn, the longer he stared at you. “So may I.” Daichi wanted to marry you on the spot. He couldn’t help but imagine you walking down the aisle, dressed in all white.

🍵☕“Are you both ok?”

🍵☕“No.” They spoke at the same time. They weren’t ok, you were absolutely stunning, and it was blinding, “but in a good way. You look beautiful.” Showing a wide smile, different from the playful and small ones given to them at the cafe. “Daichi, I'm melting.” Sugawara leaned against his best friends for support. “Suga, I can’t feel my legs.”

🍵☕ Chuckling, I started walking, motioning for the two college boys to follow me. Scurrying to either side, you offered your hand. Both of them grabbed it. Walking to dinner, you talked about different things. From Volleyball to your childhood, each time you seemed to speak, they seemed to lean on every word, completely enthralled by your voice. By the end of the date, they both tried to pay for the dinner, but you told them it was fine. Later learning, your Japanese “family” that kept you for the summer before college ran the restaurant and paid for the meal.

🍵☕“L/N, were two next?”

🍵☕“Y/N. Call me Y/N.” They both said your name at the same time. It differed from when they would say it when they were alone in their bedrooms. This time they got a response with you gentle squeezing their hands and leading them back to your house. Interlocking their fingers with you, each telling jokes, seeing who could make you laugh the hardest, enjoying your actual laugh than the one you forced to remain quiet while inside. At one point it got so bad, where you had to let go of their hands. Hopping up and down while running with an enormous smile, trying to keep back tears. It was beautiful. You seemed so composed and to see you completely let loose was amazing.

🍵☕ “God, y’all have me actin’ like a clown.” Gentle grabbed the boy’s hands, you quickly pulled them inside. Make yourself comfortable, imma go change. I'll bring you back some clothes. Darting upstairs, the boys looked around. Seeing pictures of your family and objects you used to decorate. It had such a homey feel like seen in American movies.

🍵☕ “Y/N’s house smells so much like her. It’s wonderful.” Sugawara inhaled deeply and sighed. It had become his favorite smell in the world. Daichi inhaled before sinking into the couch. Everything here seemed so you.

🍵☕ “Im back.” They turned to you, dressed in something comfortable. You held onto two sets of clothing. “I hope these fit.” Passing them the clothes, you directed them towards the bathroom, telling them to meet you upstairs once they were done.

🍵☕ Flopping onto your bed, I scrolled through my phone. Zoning out, I didn’t hear Daichi enter my room. A soft hand ran up my back. Looking up, Daichi yanked his hand back. He apologized profusely. “I didn't think. Im sorry.” Grabbing his hand, I yanked him down into your arms. “Y/N!” Cuddling him, you breathed softly. His hands raised, trying to not touch you without permission. “You’re fine, Daichi.” Grabbing his arm, you lowered it and wrapping his arm around you.

🍵☕ He had realized how soft you’d feel, your embrace warm. His face buried into your neck, he let out a content sigh. “Suga, get over here.” You shuffled to the middle of the bed, making room for Daichi, and held out your arm for Suga. Almost throwing himself into my embrace, he cuddled up next to me, his head on my shoulder, while Daichi was still buried into your neck, their hand across your stomach.

🍵☕ Daichi and Suga’s hand slowly ran and up your sides, Suga almost breaking down from feeling your love handles and tummy. You were literally gorgeous and he could feel tears prick his eyes. “Suga, are you ok?” He looked at you with teary eyes. “You… your stomach….. you have love handles and you… How are you so perfect?” Your eyes widen, your hands running over your stomach.

🍵☕ Your physical appearance wasn’t appealing to most, seeming to be completely overweight. “I’m sorry if that’s strange.” You shook your head and smiled. “Thank you.” Speaking quietly, pecking his cheek.

🍵☕ “Y/N.” Daichi sat up and gently grabbed my face, pressing his lips against mine. His lips are extremely warm and fuller than you’d expect. Expressing his unending love for me, his sturdy but gentle grip on my face pulling me in closer.

🍵☕ Pulling away, I was speechless. Staring at me with an intense gaze, before flopping back down and burying his face into my neck. Not speaking, I ran my hand up and down his back. “My turn.” Suga quickly pressed his lips against mine. They were cold but expressed literally everything he felt about me, his tongue flicking against my bottom lip before pulling away, a cocky smile on his face.

☕ Daichi had become the strong mountain in my life, pushing me towards my goals. Being a strong support system and always there for me.

🍵Suga came like rain. To relieve me of my worries, fill me with self-love, and no matter what he would be there, even in my darkest days.

🍵☕ To them, Y/N was their home. For when the daily struggles of life became hard to carry, they could turn to her, and she’d greet them with the same radiant smile and pull them inside from the cold outside.

[secretsniper3]

Part 3: Well Hung

My Master was right to lock my pussy behind a wall of steel, I constantly woke up to find my hands caressing the fluid that would run around the belt, my need evident and throbbing clear to me but in my belt there was nothing I could do but roll over and go back to sleep. 8am, my usual routine is stopped right out the gate by my belt, clearly meant to skip it Im greeted by my Master in the doorway, I stand completely naked save the belt locked to my hips. He steps towards me and tell me to not bother getting dressed, and puts a latex hood over my head, my hair black now (did he dye my hair overnight?) pushing through the hood to form my ponytail as he laces me into my latex face. Arms placed behind my back im cuffed in place and a posture collar locked around my neck with a leash attached. Following the leash im led into the main hall of my Masters home and I see something new, something that wasnt there last night. My Master clearly worked through the night to complete this device, largest device Iv ever seen he takes me into the middle and unleashes me. Locking a chain to my posture collar more restraints are added all over my body, my upper and lower arms get binders locked on with chains, wrists too, Waist gets 1 and thighs, shins and ankles for their own. unlocking my hands from behind my back my Master steps back, marvelling at his work.

Holding a large remote he presses a button and all the slack in my chains vanish, held tight by the chains my actions are clearly not mine to decide. Spinning a dial Im lifted into the air 3 feet, and pivot forward, my arms move behind my back and meet elbow to elbow as my knees bend back and my feet meet my hands and Im amazing this device can pull you so smoothly. Stepping towards me and raising me up to meet his gaze my Master places his hand on my cheek and with a smile moves to remove my chastity belt, with my wet sex exposed to him, fluid running faster and harder with each passing second he takes a deep breath, savouring my scent as I try meekly to move my hands a little lower to cup my pussy. My Master simply puts a finger on my labia to draw a instant reaction from my body, a gasp and a moan follow as he rubs up and down my lips carefully with a smile on his face. My focus is broken by a knock at the door, my Master going to answer I see a woman standing there talking to my Master. She is a tall woman, the high heels helping with that, a long, black latex dress drapes down her slender thighs as she gazes over at me. Ruby red lips and beautiful blue hair running freely down her back, closing the door my Master leads the woman to me and says aloud, “this is the Slave i was telling you about.” the woman's eyes widen, her red lips part and my eyes are drawn to them as she speaks, “for how long can i play?” “how long are you in town for?” my Master responds with a chuckle.

Licking her lips making them shine flawlessly as my Master takes a seat infront of me, the woman circles around, like a bird of prey having found its next meal she scans my entire body with a hunger in her eyes that sends a shiver down my spine. A touch of her finger ends the shiver before it reaches my sex, all my focus is on that 1 finger, tracing its way over my limbs, seemingly scaring my flesh with its burning hot touch Im sure to melt no matter what this woman does, eyes flying to my Master as he sits with a drink in hand with his eyes glued to mine. My pussy making its need known to all in the room as the puddle that was small moments ago grows larger by the second as the finger moves down my waist and over my smooth, firm ass and down my thigh. Clit throbbing as my pussy spasms at the sensory overload at just a mere finger I hear my Master say aloud “im keeping her in denial for now, think you can make her pussy even hotter than it already is, you be my guest.” All I hear behind me is the hum of a hungry animal as the finger loops over my thigh and scratches up the inside, drawing a line in my skin leading right to my puffy lips. Right there, just a little bit further!

Pain strikes my pussy as her hand comes down on my lips, a shriek of surprise and pain bursts from my lips as my pussy shakes in the aftermath. Finger still moving, painfully slow Im met with another wet slap to my pussy, and then just as suddenly a finger dives deep into my pussy. My gasp of pain elevates into a gasp of joy and bliss, my drooling pussy is getting action and I cant believe it! The finger withdraws with a wet pop as I hear her laughter behind me.

“Come now my dear, youd think id really let you cum when your Master wants your pussy denied of such pleasures?” thrusting a finger inside again for a moment before removing it a second time I know she is, quite literally pushing my buttons as her finger presses the only button that counts. The button that stands out, big and red and throbbing with need, a simple glancing touch is all it took to get my body right to the very tip of the edge a simple breeze would push me over, my eyes shooting into my skull as my brain tries desperately to comprehend what I just experienced. She waits till I have calmed down enough then repeats the glancing brush, sending me back to the peak. Looking ahead my Masters chair is empty, looking around for him I hear him laugh behind me as I hear him give the succubus something, what could he have given her. I am greeted with a smile on his face as he looks at me on his way back to his seat.

“Enjoy the ride, Slave.” is all Master says as my urethra is jabbed with something long and hard, my juices serving to lubricate it so it slides in easily as she proceeds to sound me. The pain quickly being overtaken by pleasure as Im fucked in a hole I never considered fucking before, but shes watching me. Pulling it out before I crest the ridge of pleasure Im left to moan and beg for release, my Master stands and grabs a blindfold and a spider gag, taking away my vision and ability to speak he takes great pleasure in my loss of senses. I dont need eyes to know hes hard, and hell probably use me sooner or later.

My clit still throbbing dangerously close to the edge the woman starts to caress it with, what is that sensation? oh god no! its a brush, she circles around my inner labia with the bristles of the thin brush and I cant stop her at all, she eases the head of the brush against my clits hood and it slips between them, rubbing my clit at its very core removing it the second before I would otherwise cum hard! This torture would carry on for some time of painfully hard denials at the last second before my Master pushes a button and flips me over in the air.

My breasts now facing the roof and the device that holds me begins to pull my neck up, rising to meet the demand my mouth presses into the woman's pussy. She is done playing with my cunt, now Im to play with hers, and she isnt forbidden to cum so within minutes of my talented tongues assault on her my face is glazed with her juices but she still holds strong. Clearly seeking more from my mouth she presses down and my tongue dives in deep, tasting the woman's pussy as her cum drools into my mouth and down my throat. Her warm folds locked around my mouth as she grinds my face into her pussy, cumming again and again.

“shes very talented with her tongue, and her pussy wont stop shaking, i can see her clit from here!” she says with orgasmic bliss in her voice

“i know how to break a slave” My Master replies, and he isnt wrong. Im broken, his plaything to do with what he wants.

The woman stops grinding into my open mouth and my face is coated in a thick layer of her juices, I start to think its over as my Master takes my mouth for his own use. Driving his hard cock down my throat my tongue naturally wraps around the shaft as I accept my Masters meat in my throat, thrust after thrust Im rewarded with a hot burst that flows quickly down my throat. Removing my blindfold Im treated to a sight I havent seen in a long time, my Masters cock inside a pussy. pumping in and out, oh how I wish it was my cunt he was plowing as he thrusts harder into the woman and her back arches in erotic bliss, my Masters hand gripping her blue hair as he continues to fuck her to orgasm. Im treated to a first class show as my Master and the woman continue thrusting into eachother, orgasm after orgasm they wont stop taunting me. The woman constantly bragging about how good it feels to cum knowing my pussy is denied and having my clit throb making it all the worse!

So there I hang, fixed in the middle of the room watching my Master and the woman fuck to orgasm over and over again, I cant even look away, their moans, their screams, flooding my ears and my pussy with need! They finally stop their exhibition match at my expense and my Master reveals my new belt, it has a long slick metal dildo where my asshole would sit, and another thinner pole for my urethra, nothing for my needy box though. I moan helplessly as they both set to lock my body back in its cage. Flipping me over and standing me upright, the woman gives me a deep kiss, tasting her own juices on my lips as her tongue fucks mine with gusto and my Master escorts her to the door. I manage to make out “we should do this again soon” as they kiss on the cheek and she leaves me to my denial with my Master.

Locking my feet in ballet heels before removing my restraints I am left to wobble on jelly legs as my arms are locked in a strict reverse prayer binder with elbows meeting in the small of my back, he says this is just beginning and at that thought my pussy clenches a little. A corset around my waist to make breathing more difficult when combined with my latex mask and posture collar, blindfolded once more Im left in the dark as my neck gets yanked and I lurch forward in my toe crushing boots. Stepping forward a few paces Im forced to my knees as Im pulled over and down, my Masters got a hard cock again and its my life's mission to sate its lust as I take it in my mouth and down my throat. My Master not even helping me as my latex coated head bobs up and down on his member and he cums down my throat. Pulling me back he takes in my appearance. “you look amazing if i do say so myself.” he says with a smile, I can hear his joy in his words as he stands me back up and turns me around and with another yank, Im walking again.

Hard to focus on where hes leading me to, he keeps rearranging things while I sleep and my inserts are only adding to my frustration. The pain in my feet far from over as the inserts inside me are fixed to the belt, every step making them sway side to side inside me, though not enough to make me cum, I cant cum from anal or he wouldn't have put 1 in my ass. Continuing to lead me into a room he fixes me in place and pushes a tube in my mouth, unscrewing my urethra and pushing a tube up into my bladder. Pressing a few buttons Im forced to walk forward as he laughs beside me. Its a treadmill! With no way to get off as Im completely secure and forced to march on in silent obedience. Unable to draw breath through the tube my nose is uncovered and fluid pours down the tube and into my mouth, Im hesitant at first but my Master commands me to drink and so I do it since it is “your lunch after all” he said as he turns and leaves me to your walk. the fluid running into my mouth periodically consists of oatmeal, vitamins and minerals and 3 types of aphrodisiacs. Every step hurts my poor enslaved feet and legs but what could I do besides walk on the path my Master has set for me?

2 hours later my breathing is ragged and hoarse as my Master returns to stop my walking, unhooking me and leading me back to the lounge he lays me down and frees my toes from their prison. I moan as the boots slide off. Removing my belt from my waist he sits me down in the bathroom and tells me to relieve myself. following his command I do as Im told and he cleans up after me, reapplying my belt with little resistance as Im exhausted now and very tired from my walk, he leads me back to my room and lays me down, releasing my arms and removing my corset and latex hood he rolls me over and with a kiss on my forehead I drop straight to sleep. He pats my ass knowing that my pussy is safe behind that wall of cold steel and goes to set up the house for the party tomorrow, knowing I will be asleep the rest of the day and through the night. My Master always knows how to put me to sleep.

[moxfirefly]

Video calls and confessions

Part 2

Rated Explicit (18+)

Got around to that part teo for this one shot.

Hellboy/Cam!Girl

____________________

The world going to shit wasn’t exactly how’d you planned out your Friday afternoon. This morning you had woken up with enthusiasm and a desire to treat yourself.

You’d gone out to the city, had your nails done, grabbed an obscenely priced coffee and on your way had stumbled on a museum.

A little culture never hurt nobody.

For Christ sake it was a free entry day too.

So why then, as you admired priceless art and sculptures had literal hell descended upon the evening?

Creatures. Actual monsters. The screams of the public deafening.

That had happened about half an hour ago. In your haste you had thanked you fight or flight mode to quick into flight. The shaking in your body had cause you to run into one of the exhibit rooms most cluttered with random ‘junk’ whatever this art installation had gone for it was surely not for somebody to duck behind for safety.

You checked your phone. The news was reporting the attack of the art museum. Authorities had been sent as well as the B.P.R.D...

That made you pause and clutch your phone.

If the bureau was on its way then that meant Hellboy was too.

The very notion of possibly seeing him in the flesh made your heart skip a few beats. The two of you had been communicating on and off for a while now since the private shows had started. You knew mixing work and pleasure wasn’t smart but fuck, you had it bad for this guy.

There was a sense of relief washing over you. He’d be here, he’d take care of this mess. Maybe you’d finally see him and not through a computer screen. You knew things had escalated with him although neither of you had really properly addressed it.

“Please whatever is up there, if I survive this I’m fucking telling him I’m in love with him” You whispered to yourself. This possibly couldn’t be your last day on earth.

Something screeching and something akin to a human scream startled you. You hugged your knees closer and tried not to breath loudly. Gunshots and more screams could be heard.

Then something came crashing into the installation where you were hiding. Your scream was imposible to hold in. The creature was screeching so loudly, a sound that left your ears ringing.

Adrenaline made you run out as fast as you humanly could. You heard the great strides it took to catch up to you. This was it wasn’t it? You were gonna die?

Your legs kept pushing you forward even as your muscles burned with pain. Your eyes hurt from crying and your throat felt like it was sandpaper. Something like a claw reaching for your hair made you close your eyes. There was no way you wanted to see how this ended for you.

Two shots.

Loud and so very clear, the sound coming out of left field made you trip and fall. The screening fortunately had stopped.

“Miss?! You’re safe! Hey! You gotta get out of here now!” That voice you knew all to well. You looked up and saw red and a stone hand.

“R-red...” Your voice was small, a sob catching in your throat.

“Y/N!?” He was shocked, eyes wide as he knelt in front of you.

You weren’t sure how your body moved or if he moved you but somehow you’d ended up with your arms around him sobbing into his neck. Hellboy held you tightly, whispering that you were safe, an array of cusses slipped out as he breathed heavily.

The knowledge that you were here, if he’d been a millisecond too late, all crashed down on him as he picked you up and carried you to safety.

You could’ve died, was all that ran through his head.

You’re alive, was all that ran through yours.

_______________

One helicopter ride, a medical exam and a shower later you found yourself at the home base of the B.P.R.D. A nice young woman by the name of Alice had loaned you some clothes and had taken you to Hellboy’s room to wait. A debriefing was happening and all you could do was sit tight.

You resolved to canceling all your cam shows for the week stating you had fallen terribly ill. There was no way you could work, your hands were still shaking as you typed out the post and notified your one on one shows. It felt like hours as you sat on the couch, you had looked around at his room, seeing and array of personal items that made up his personality.

Such a big part of you often dreamt about this but your nerves had you glued to your spot.

The door opened and Hellboy came barreling in like a tornado. You flinched and bit too hard on your already chewed off nail, so much for that manicure.

“I’m so sorry, I wanted to leave that stupid meeting but it’s fucking mandatory because Daimio thinks it’s necessary, asshole that guy I tell ya-“ He took in your state, the still slight tremble in your hands, the few scrapes here and there. You looked small and scared and it absolutely destroyed him.

In his silence he made his way towards the coffee table and sat in front of you. “You know I often fantasized what it be like to see you in the flesh, this wasn’t how it usually went I promise” He smiled and for the first time in this piss filled day, so did you.

“How would it go?” You asked softly.

“Some mood light, a little wine maybe some music” The two of you chuckled. Your chuckles quickly dissolved in you trying to hold back your tears.

You were almost killed tonight, the shock would take some time to subside. “Hey hey kid, it’s ok, I’ve got you. Ain’t nothing gonna happen to you on my watch” Hellboy’s flesh hand rested on your knees.

You leaned forward and rested your forehead on his shoulder. “...When I read you guys were sent out, I really got excited that I’d finally see you” You felt his flesh hand stroke your hair.

“I’m in love with you” You blurted out, his hand going to still. “I said, if I’m making it out of this alive I’m telling him, so I’m telling you...” You looked up at him, e/c meeting his golden ones.

“I-Im not dancing around this no more, I’m tired of pretending that what’s been going on isn’t just some work thing that I do, fuck, I love you I really do and I think you do too” Your mouth want dry again, the scratchy sensation making you swallow.

Hellboy searched out your eyes, something in his head was going a mile a minute. Was he searching for a lie? Something disingenuous?

That all died when he lunged forward and kissed you.

A kiss that truly and utterly left no worry.

You were kissing Hellboy. You were gripping Hellboy by the scruff of his shirt. The way his lips molded against yours, the abnormal warmth to them, the softness to them, the roughness of his scruff.

Pulling back for air felt obligated but he’d insisted by pressing the stumps of his horns against your forehead. “Wow...that’s...so much better than I could’ve imagined” He was star struck in a way and it honest to god made you laugh.

The days events took a back seat for now you wanted to take in the being before you. You scanned everything you normally did while on cam with him. Your hands explored his face, running across scars and hair.

Then you remembered what lay to his right and your heart raced.

You gripped his stone hand, fascinated by the texture of stone, how he held your hand with so much regard to his strength. The patterns, the markings everything has you entranced.

“Extraordinary” Was all you could muster as you rubbed on what would be the inside f his wrist. “I’m sorry, is this weirding you out?” You looked at Hellboy only to find him grinning. “Having a beautiful girl touch me? Yes it’s completely weirding me out” He mocked and you couldn’t help but playfully shove him.

“God I need a beer, can we...?” He was leaning over toward the mini fridge next to the couch and pulling said drinks out. “Read my mind, beautiful” He offered one towards you.

This morning you were going about a normal routine, and now after a near death experience you were in the room of a man you had been falling in love with for months. The twist and turns of life.

Around round 3 you’d excused yourself to use the bathroom. As you washed your hands and saw your normal pristine face a little worn down from the stressful events you frowned.

But there you stood in Hellboy’s bathroom. Surrounded by things all him. The tips of your fingers ran through a brush of his. This was a reality right now.

You stepped out and caught him shrugging off his coat. Busying your thumbnail again at your teeth you watched his now visible arms flex with the movements.

“All good?” He smiled leaning against the dresser.

There was a pregnant pause in which the two of you merely just ogled one another from across the bed.

You moved first.

You walked over the bed and stood on it, you reached out a hand that he took without hesitation and with the extra height from the bed you met in a heated kiss face to face. You wrapped your arms around his neck, you felt his around your hips.

In a wordless haste you yanked at his black T-shirt and busied yourself with taking off yours. He watched mesmerized, as always, the revealing of your skin.

The image before you though, god you wanted to scream.

Hellboy undoing his belt and swiftly yanking the whole thing out of the belt loops without breaking eye contact. Off were your pants, and on was him as he took you down on the bed.

It was a haze, breathless kisses and chants of desire. He one handed the button of your jeans and his own. The brief separation to take the offending items off had the two of you giggling almost. In record time he was back on you and you welcomed it with a ferocity to your kisses. Tongue slipping into his mouth, you swallowed a groan of his that vibrated all the way to your cunt.

He was here, you were here. Physically.

You grinned as he trailed kisses over both your covered breast. “Take-fuck-take it off please, now right now” You felt the air leave your lungs when he simply broke the bra in half and met his reward, two beautifully round breasts he had craved more than any meal. Hellboy pressed his face between them and inhaled before leaving a series of bites and marks. Each time he bit down your raised your hips in search of friction.

The heaviness in the air, the warmth of him lapping and sucking at your breast. The heated tongue wrapping around a nipple. Hellboy devoured you, and if your breast had him like this...

“Baby please, wanna touch you too” Your hands ran down his back, sharp nails leaving a path. Hellboy shuddered as he left a nipple with a loud pop. “Go on, I’m all yours” That very comment sent a gush of heat and you bit your lip to hold a moan in.

You nudged him to lay on his back and you climbed on top of him. Hands running over your body, the feeling of that stone hand gently cupping your rear was enough to make you grind down on him with purpose.

“I promised you something every time we spoke, you remember what that was?” You rubbed yourself on him as you began to trail down his body. Hellboy’s eyes were fogged with lust. “Oh, you remember” You kissed his stomach, nails scratching his sides before hooking into the waistband of his underwear.

He was going to have a stroke.

Hellboy watched you slide his underwear down. Eyes hungry and mouth engulfing his cock. He bucked up without meaning to but you caught most of the onslaught by closing up your throat. A minor choke and you were back on track.

Fuck he was big and thick, you did your best swallowing as much as possible before settling the rest with your hand to jerk. The gut punched groan that left him egging you on. He saw your head bob, the way your lips stretched around his length, the blissed out look as you sucked earnestly. “Shit shit, you look beautiful” Hellboy reached a left hand across your cheek.

Letting him go with a breathy inhale, spit on your chin you jerked him lazily.

He was putting this look away for a rainy day. You had no right looking so utterly debauched and perfect.

“C’mere and kiss me, beautiful” Hellboy whispered softly and you obeyed crawling on him to meet him in a sensual slow lip lock.

Underwear gone, or more so also ripped apart. You were now on top of him about to guide his cock into your drenched hole. The initial burn was actually delicious, that breach between pain and pleasure sending a delightful shock through your body. Once fully seated on him you reveled in stretch and burn. “God this is, fuck I-“ You moaned as you tested with a sway of your hips, he was hitting your spot perfectly. You rested your hands on his chest and he gripped your waist.

Hellboy was gone, the sight of you riding him, lost in your pleasure caused by him nevertheless. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever see. Lost to it all you fell forwards, burying your face in his neck. Your impending release had you stuttering your hips. “I got you baby, I got you” He muttered against your ear. You moaned as he held you, hips pistoning upwards to drive that orgasm out of you.

It crashed something fierce, running all over your body and coming out as a scream against his neck. You felt limp as a noodle but held onto him as he fucked his way through yours. When he came he yanked another orgasm out of you along with his.

The two of you laid there, a mess of limbs clutching at each other. Hearts racing, lungs trying to catch up.

Exhaustion won. You fell a sleep on Hellboy, still inside of you, his mouth against your temple.

There was no turning back now.

[dokoni-mo]

Forgotten Coffee || Darth Vader x Reader

(A/N: yes hi so I wrote this for my good, good friend jojo @obiwankenobiness ,, she came up with this prompt and i ABSOLUTELY had to write it. This is one hell of a big ol fluffy fluff, so be warned! however, it might do you some good after chapter 5 of BaT :’))) speaking of which, I have tagged all my normal people for Bat/FaT,, i hope that’s okay!! one last thing - this is set after the events of RotJ and before the epilouge of FaT. I will link my masterlist below if you don’t know what im talking about/need a refresher!! I hope you all enjoy, ESPECIALLY you, Jojo. Thank you so much for being so kind, and thank you even more for being such a dear friend. ily and I hope this can make you happy, and I hope even more that it’s everything you ever wanted <3 )

Link to Masterlist : [x] 

WARNINGS: cursing, small amount of angst, TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF, otherwise none!! 

Key: (F/N) = first name

Word Count: ~3500

~~~

Making a house on your new home planet was the easy part. Making it a home was the challenging part. 

It had been about half a year since the fall of the Empire. You and Vader had seemingly just gotten settled into this planet, learning about its climate, weather habits, vegetation and wildlife together along the way. It was quite the beautiful place, and the perfect place to hide. 

The planet was far, far away from any known systems, and much further away from any trace of the Empire. The two of you picked the planet for this specific reason; to be away from everyone. However, this hadn’t stopped you from telling his children where the planet was, pinging them a signal once you were able to construct a communication device strong enough. 

Was it sort of a risky move? Sure, it was. But you both agreed that his children deserved to know where the two of you were. 

Just in case they run into trouble and need our help, was how you justified it. 

Vader agreed with this, but disagreed at the same time. 

Yes, he did think it was a good idea for Luke and Leia to know where their father is, but also didn’t want anyone to know of the planet. Vader was unnerved, to say the absolute least, that somehow someone would find your new home and destroy it, and him alongside. Or, even worse…

Destroy you. 

He couldn’t bear the thought. 

Even just picturing you harmed in any way… 

It brought back old ghosts to Vader. Ones he didn’t wish to remember or visit him. 

All he simply wished to do was live out the rest of his days in peace, here on this nowhere planet with you. 

He, however, was finding this difficult to do. No matter how hard he tried, tried for you, his mind would slip back into a state of unbridled worry. 

That afternoon was one of those times. 

Constructing the house was proving to be much more difficult than you had originally thought. Coming from a village of people who made their own homes out of recycled materials, you had believed that constructing a house should be not much of a problem for you. Granted, laying out the foundations of said house really wasn’t. However, what went in the house was the challenging part. 

You knew that he needed certain things to keep him alive and comfortable (his meditation pod and bacta tank), but you never believed that constructing these things would be so challenging. Yes, you were trying to juggle this feat alongside the repairs to his suit, but his accommodations were the far more stubborn and frustrating of the two tasks. With  only having the rubble of a crashed Star Destroyer to work with, you had to bullshit your way around a lot of problems you occurred. You couldn’t, however, bullshit too much, because then you would start to jeopardize his health and comfort. 

Those were two things you were not willing to gamble with. 

With the setting sun creeping in through the windows of your house, you decided that enough was enough for one day. You had battled with the filter to his bacta tank for far too long, and your muscles and bones were complaining because of it. Hobbling your way into the half-furnished living room, you sat down upon the sofa with a long, deep sigh, relief washing over you as your legs got a much needed break.

A sheen of sweat on your forehead, you pulled off your fingerless gloves as quickly as possible, stretching and clamping them as you pulled your goggles off of your face, setting them beside you. With your hands now stretched, you focused on providing some relief to your legs, rubbing your hands up and down your thighs in an attempt to soothe your muscles. 

Vader must have sensed that you had completed your work for the day, since he was quick to come in from the garden to see you. Looking up at his large, tall, black frame coming through the doorway, you smiled up at him, your cheeks pink from both the sight of your lover just barely fitting through the doorframe and your raised body temperature from your work. Closing the door behind him, Vader’s gaze went to your face. 

“Are you finished for the evening, darling?” he asked you, the bass in his voice nearly making the windows shake. 

You nodded your head, making circles with your shoulders to stretch them out, “Yeah, I am. Do you want anything for dinner? I’m not really hungry but I’ll make you whatever you want.” 

“That is quite alright.” he said, “I do not seem to have much of an appetite tonight either.” 

You ceased to stretch your shoulders at your words, the smile on your face forming into a concerned look as you gazed upon your lover. 

This was the third meal in a row that he had refused. It wasn’t a matter of that he felt bad for you making him food, no. The two of you have had that discussion long ago. You were afraid this was a far more pressing matter, and you had a good idea of what it was. 

“Love,” you said, your voice lowered to match your concern, “You haven’t eaten since dinner last night… you have to keep up your strength.” 

He stared at you for a long moment before saying anything. 

“I am aware, darling.” 

“Then how about I make you some dinner, okay?” you asked, your tone still soft, “I’ll bring it to your pod like you like it.” 

“No. That is not necessary. I do not wish to consume anything at the moment. I thank you for offering, however, dear.” 

You let out a small sigh. You loved Vader with every atom in your body, but damn was he stubborn. 

“Vee.” you said, your tone now firm, “You’re making me worried.” 

He tilted his armored head to the side, the sound of his respirator in your ears, “How so?” 

“You haven’t been eating much recently, love.” you explained, “And I’ve been noticing how much time you spend outside… Is there something you need to tell me, dear?” 

He simply just stared at you again, taking in the sight of your worried face. 

You didn’t deserve to feel such a way. You didn’t need the added stress of worrying about him. 

He decided it would be best to tell you what was happening. 

He hung his head slightly, “I… I have been troubled, darling.” 

“Troubled?” you asked. 

“Yes.” 

You eyed him for a moment. 

That was all he needed to tell you. 

“Vee, listen to me, okay?” you said, “No one is going to find us here. The only two people in the entire galaxy that know where we are is Luke and Leia, and there’s no way in hell that they would rat us out. There is literally no reason why the Empire or anyone would come here looking for us. This planet is in the middle of nowhere. We will be okay, dear. I promise.” 

He picked up his head to look at you again, making you offer him a small, warm smile in return. 

You were so breathtakingly gorgeous to him. 

Both inside and out. 

He wanted to believe you. He really did. 

And he did trust you. More than anyone he ever had, in fact. 

But, still.. 

This feeling inside him, the fear he felt…

He couldn’t shake it. No matter how hard he tried. 

Your words did soothe his nerves a certain amount, but still…

This issue would need time.

You both knew this, unconsciously. 

He only could pray that you would accept this and stop your worrying. 

He didn’t want you to stress. 

He loved you far too much for that. 

Walking his heavy, large boots over to you, he reached down to your face, giving your cheek a gentle brush with the back of his knuckles. 

Your cheeks stained pink again as he spoke, “I appreciate your concern, dear. I believe I will retire for the night.” 

Your lips parting, you weren’t expecting him to just go to bed so early and leave it at that. You wanted to protest, to get him to talk about it more, but you knew better than to press the subject. 

It took you this long for him to open up to you even a little bit. You didn’t want all your work together to go to waste. 

No. Instead, you gave him a little smile and a nod, “Okay, dear. Goodnight, I love you.” 

“I love you too, (F/N).” 

With that, he left the living room to your shared bedroom, the weight of his steps making the wooden floorboards beneath him creak and moan. You followed him with your gaze as you watched him leave, noticing how his cape fluttered in the wind behind him. 

His cape…

It was quite old now, worn even. The end of it was in tatters, and significantly lighter in hue than the rest of the material. 

It looked… sad. 

Just like he had been, before you and him came to be a thing. 

Your lips parting again, an idea shot through your mind as you processed the sight of his cape. 

An idea to you, but he would call it more of a scheme. 

A determined smile came upon your face. 

You set yourself up for a long, long night, but you didn’t care.

You would do anything, stay up countless nights, if it meant he was at peace and happy. 

Once he disappeared into your shared bedroom, you made for your fabric cabinet, setting your scheme into motion. 

~~~\

The night had been a long one, that was nothing but a fact. 

You had brewed seemingly endless amounts of caf to keep you awake, and your tongue was quite sick of the taste by the time morning had came. You didn’t even realize how long you had worked until you heard the birds chirping outside your window. Looking up from your completed project strewn across your dining table, your felt the bags underneath your eyes as you saw the sunlight creep inside your home as a welcome intruder. 

Shit. It was almost time to wake him up. 

Rising from your chair, you stretched and yawned as you made your way into the kitchen, stopping in front of the counter and pouring yourself another cup of caf. Bringing the mug to the table, you placed the cup upon it's surface before padding your feet across the hallway to your bedroom. Creaking the door open, you slowly tip-toed your way to his meditation pod, pressing your ear against the cool surface of the metal. Gently, you knocked on the metal, your voice matching as you spoke. 

“Vee.” you said, your voice quiet from how tired you were, “It’s time to wake up.” 

After a brief pause of silence, you heard the whirr of the pod placing his helmet and mask upon his head. Stepping back, you watched as the pod hissed open, another yawn escaping your lips. Stepping forward again, you reached into the metal container to your love, helping him out of it as you spoke again. 

“Morning Vee.” you said as his boots made contact with the floor. 

“Good Morning, darling.” he rumbled out, his voice deeper as it shaked off his slumber. 

Smiling tiredly up to him, you asked him your usual morning question, “What do you want for breakfast?” 

Looking down at you, Vader instantly noticed the dark circles under your eyes. A pang of concern shooting through him, he cupped your face in his large, gloved hands. 

“Darling.” he said, “Are you alright?” 

“Of course I am.” you said, “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“You look as if you did not get any rest last night. Did something keep you awake?” 

You blinked at him slowly in confusion at first, your tired mind making you slow to process. Blinking again as you remembered what had kept you awake, a small smile painted your lips. 

“Yeah.” you said, “Something did.” 

He was definitely worried now, “What was it?” 

“A surprise!” 

He tilted his head at this. He certainly was not expecting that. 

“A surprise?” 

“Yeah!” you exclaimed, taking one of his hands into your own, “Come see!” 

Pulling him out of the bedroom and over to the kitchen, you stopped him once he was in front of the dining table. Taking a few steps in front of him, you picked up his surprise from the table’s surface, holding it in your tired, groggy grasp as you presented it up to him with a dopey smile on your face. 

He was shocked, but in quite a good way. 

A cape?

“I made you a new cape!” you said proudly, showing him the front and back of the cloth. 

The new cape was a medium-toned blue, large enough to fit across his broad shoulders, and long enough to just barely miss the ground as he stood. At the bottom of the cape was a thick strip of golden cloth, an intricate pattern woven into it, and the stitching was noticeably hand-done. 

It was...

Perfect. 

You smiled down at the fabric as you spoke, “I just thought that giving you a little change would do you some good. I know we just got your new hands to work, and we finally got some privacy here on this planet, so I thought I would also make this as a little celebration gift.” 

You turned your gaze to him as you continued, a smile still on your tired face, “Also, your old one was really raggedy, so I made you this new one. You can tell me if you don’t like it, though. I won’t be offended. I know it’s kinda out of your style…” 

Vader was speechless. 

Vader was hardly ever speechless, but he simply could not comprehend the sight before him. 

This girl, who he loved oh, so dearly with every fiber, every ounce of his being…

Made something so beautiful, so perfect…

For him. 

She stayed up all hours of the night, slaving away at this cape…

For him. 

How.

How did he get so damn lucky? 

How did he deserve any of this? 

This house? This cape? 

You? 

After everything he had done? 

He was sure right then that he was the luckiest man in the galaxy. 

Realizing that he still hadn’t said anything, Vader responded to you. 

“My dear,” he said, his head tilted to the side, “I shall adorn anything you make with pride.” 

Another dopey smile coming onto your exhausted face, a yawn came out of your throat, “Really? You like it?” 

“Yes.” 

You let out a tiny squeal of happiness, “I’m so glad! I’ll iron it after breakfast and help you put it on.” 

Vader watched as you folded up his new cape and set it on the table, right next to the cup of caf you poured earlier. Picking up his gaze, he watched your much smaller frame begin to pad your feet into the kitchen.

“Speaking of breakfast,” you said over your shoulder, opening the cabinets to see what kinds of ingredients you had available, “What would you like?” 

Vader said nothing, not moving one muscle as he stared at you. 

He was… in awe. 

How did you do it? He could visibly see the lack of sleep you had gotten, yet you still pressed on. You asked him what he wished to consume without a second thought, ignoring the fact that you were dead tired. 

You were so beautiful. So strong. 

He couldn’t fathom how he deserved you. How you stayed so strong despite how life had been so cruel to you. 

He couldn’t begin to fathom how the universe could make such a perfect human being. 

You…

You were the only one in so, so long that saw Vader not as a machine nor a weapon…

But a person. A living, breathing, person. 

You did everything for him. You made him happy, you calmed his nerves, you soothed his anger, you listened to his rambles, you made him a house, you helped him to escape the clutches of the Empire....

You saved his life. 

…

He loved you. 

He loved you so, so much. 

He would never be able to find the words to tell you just how much he did. 

“Vee.” he heard you say, snapping him out of his awe-struck state, “You’re staring again. Did you hear me? What would you like for breakfast? I’ll make you anything you want.” 

He didn’t want anything to consume that morning. 

Nothing at all. 

He only wanted you. To be close to you, to hold you tight and never let you go. 

And he planned to do as such. 

Stepping forward across the expanse of food flooring that separated the two of you, Vader watched as a confused expression glinted across your face. You asked him what he was doing, but he gave you no response. Instead, he leaned down closer to your height, wrapping his big, strong arms around your waist. Making sure that you were secure in his grasp, he hoisted you up, slinging you over one of his strong shoulders. 

A deep pink blush spread over your cheeks, “V-Vee, what-” 

Ignoring your confusion once more, Vader carried you back into your shared bedroom, making sure that you were comfortable yet secure in his grasp. Pushing open the door to the bedroom with his boot, Vader carried you over to the bed in the center of the room, making the blush on your cheeks deepen in hue. 

Expecting to get thrown onto the bed’s surface, you were surprised when your love sat upon the bed, his weight making the wood and mattress below groan. Soon after sitting down, Vader moved you so that you were seated in his broad lap, your legs straddling his strong, large waist. Snaking up his arms under your own, Vader pulled you close to his huge chest, getting you as close to him as possible.

Your tired brain making you slower to process what was happening, Vader took it upon himself to help you along, resting his armored chin on your small shoulder. 

“Hold me, darling.” he said, his deep voice much softer than normal. 

Feeling your heart swell in your chest, you slowly wrapped your arms around his armored neck, nuzzling your face into his shoulder armor as you held him tightly. 

Vader was much much larger than you, but it made him all the better to cuddle with. His lap was surprisingly soft, despite how muscular he was beneath all the leather, and his grasp around you was so, so soothing. Closing your eyes peacefully, you breathed in his scent as he rubbed one of his hands up and down your back. His gloved hand was quite large, and nearly engulfed your entire lower back. 

He was so gentle with you. It soothed you to no end.

You felt yourself start to drift off to sleep, feeling so safe and secure in his arms. Before you could, however, you heard his deep voice speak to you. Since you were pressed to close to his chest, you could feel the rumble of his voice’s bass from within. 

“I love you endlessly, darling.” he said, his voice still much softer than normal, “Are you aware of this?” 

You were far too tried for words, so you simply nodded your head against his shoulder is response. 

Vader let out a satisfied rumble. He could feel every single one of his nerves and fears melt away as he held you, soothing him to no end. Picking up his head from your shoulder, he pressed the triangle mouthpiece of his mask into your hair, making a small smile appear on your lips. 

His version of a kiss, you took it. 

He rubbed your back with his hand once more, speaking to you again, “Rest easy, darling. I shall continue to hold you until you awaken. Forget about your tasks and rest with me for the day. I shall keep you warm and protect you from all harm, for the rest of time. I love you, (F/N), my darling. You have made my life complete. I wish for nothing more than to be beside you for the rest of my days. You are my entire life, (F/N), my everything. I love you so, so much.” 

A small smile still on your face, you held onto your love tight as you felt yourself drift off into sleep. As he promised, Vader held onto you for as long as you slept, nothing but thoughts of you in his mind. 

It was a beautiful sight, but one that no other man should ever see. A reformed sith lord, holding onto the love of his life on the planet they had escaped to, in the house that she had built, far, far away from any prying eyes, from any harm. 

Your forgotten cup of caf upon the table filled the air with it's scent. 

That day, this house was no longer just a house. 

But a home. 

~~~

TAGS: @spaghetti-666 , @soullesstaco , @arsonistvoyager , @robin-obsessed , @glitter-rian , @captainrexstan , @easterncryptid , @deviatedwinter , @roseangel013bf , @danicalifxrnia , @dartheldur , @finest-trashbag , @yeah-boiiiiiiiiiii , @elongatedmusk-rat , @shads121 , @muffinbeliever  , @sakuramadae​ , @padme-parker​ , @khapikat222 , @the-official-memester​ , @rens-angel​ , @yvette1703 , @missmannequin​ , @breakfastpizzagalaxy​ , @scarletsinsandsnowwithetragedies​ , @clearnostolgia , @ahs0ka-skywalker​ , @teddyteddy​

[lyss-alane]

Just A Man

Word count: 2288

Summary: Dean isn't able to hide from the reader anymore. “Enemies” to lovers.

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warnings: ANGST, hurt Dean, self-loathing Dean, language, 18+, drinking, age gap, Season 14 spoilers!! 

A/N: I wrote this fic in one sitting, its literally my first fanfiction. Warning, probably cringe writing!!! but its okay because I plan to improve as I write more. Please be patient with my skills, but I do hope you enjoy :)

All mistakes are mine

This is a work of fiction, must be 18+ to read

Dean was in his room, looking through old pictures again. This is where he found himself the safest, in his home with what’s left of his family around him.

He was flipping through some old polaroids he found under the seat of baby along time ago. There were pictures of Sam as a baby, Dean as a kid. There was some of John and Mary together, laughing. His favorite was the one of Mary holding Sammy, she was smiling and her face was full of love.

He had newer ones too that he charished just the same. One of him and Sam outside of Bobby’s house, working on some old Truck. There was one of Bobby drinking a beer and reading a book on that old wornout sofa of his. And then there was one of her, sitting out side on the porch swing. She had a cup of coffee in her hand and her dog Kansas sitting next to her.

Her head was thrown back in laughter because of something Sam said while taking the picture. Those two were always close. Y/N lived at Bobby’s ever sense she was a little girl. She kept the old man alive, and she became extremely close to Sam, they were the same age and attended some of school together.

Holding the picture in his hand Dean found himself smiling again. He always did when looking at her. No matter how much the two fought or disagreed, Dean couldn’t help but love the girl.

Of course she’d never shown any interest in him. Dean was way to damaged to be blessed with someone as graceful as her. The two faught like cats and dogs, and he was pretty sure she hated his guts.

Y/N stuck around with the boys once Bobby died. She was more than grateful to move around with her best friend, but the eldest Winchester kept her on her toes. Everything the green eyed man did seemed to piss Y/N off. She cared deeply for him of course, but it seemed like no matter what she did it was never enough for him.

Whether is was messing up a hunt, not following orders, or something as simple as forgetting to buy his favorite shampoo when she was on a supply run. She quickly learned to keep her distance. Dean was hard on her, but Sam always said it was how he shows he cared.

They were aquantances, not friends.

That was until last week,

Mary died.

She died tragically, everyone who knew her was hurting, but Dean was down right scary. It scared Y/N to see him like this.

Beilive it or not she knew the man inside and out, she knew how good his heart was and all the horrible shit he went through. She loved him, she always had. He was difficult and grouchy most of the time but she loved him all the more.

She knew Mary’s death hit him harder than anything had before, of course it did, she was his mother.

She decided she was going to make dinner for the boys, they hadn’t had much time to do anything lately with everything going on and a home cooked meal could never hurt.

Dean of course didn’t come out if his room to eat.

Y/n knew he needed time, but lately all he did was stay in that room drinking himself to death. She didn’t want to overstep, but seeing him like this hurt. The last time he acted this way was when they lost bobby, and those memories were something y/n couldn’t think about.

“you think he’s going to be okay?” She asked Sam, biting on her nail.

She was putting a plate of food together to bring to Dean, she normally didn’t show so much care for the man, but lately all she could do was worry. Worry and help out how ever possible.

She never let herself get close to Dean, she already had feeling for the guy and they were hardly even friends. She tried to keep as much distance as she could, but right now she knew the boys needed her, and she wanted to do as much as she could to help.

“ to be honest, I don’t know.” Sam said. His face looked exhausted and his shoulders were slauched. He was picking at the food on his plate.

She hated seeing her friend this way. The Winchester were the strongest people she knew and right now it seemed as if they were breaking.

“ well, he’s gotta eat something” she said, grabbing a water from the fridge and the plate she had made for him. “and so do you ”. She said passing Sam and placing a small kiss on his head.

She hated how much it bothered her to see Dean like this. It literally made her stomach hurt, she was worrying so much. He was never good at talking about his feeling, and Y/N was used to that, but when he shut down completely that scared her the most.

“Dean” she knocked softly on his door “ I brought food”

He was passed out with a beer in his hand, face laying flat on his desk. His head felt like it was going to explode if he opened his eyes but he heard someone’s voice, it sounded soft and quit.

“Dean”

He slowly picked his head up off the table and whipped his face in his hands. He looked like he’d been sleeping for days.

He turned around to find the voice and saw Y/N peaking her head in the door. Her beautiful features fixed with concern. Dean just wanted to kiss the worry from her face, whisper everything she ever wanted to hear.

“ Dean, can I come in” she said.

Of course he couldn’t tell her no, the man could never tell her no. Eventhough he felt like he was dying on the inside right now and looked no better on the outside, just seeing her made him smile. 

“Okay” was all he could say, he hated himself for being so weak, for trying so hard to keep her at a distance but right now he could feel his resolve falter.

“ I made you food, you should eat” she said softly, slowly making her way towards him.

His eyes were on her, but it seemed as if he was looking through her. They were puffy and red around the rims. She immediately felt like she was overstepping, but there was no way in hell she was leaving him like this.

She was close enough to him now to smell the stinch of alcohol coming from his every pore. Her stomach was In knots and she felt like she could cry seeing him this way.

“Please eat” she said

“M’not hungry” he slurred.

She slowly made her way towards his desk and put the food next to him despite his protest.

“De-“

“ I said, m’not hungry” he said roughly, pushing the plate away from him

Great, now he was drunk and pissed.

He was stairing down at his lap now, his shoulders slumped in defeat she could have sworn she saw them.. trembling?

Was he crying?

She immediately froze, not knowing what to do. Dean Winchester was crying, he was drunk off his ass, he looked like a broken man and all she wanted to do was pick him up and make him feel whole again.

“De?” She said.

She gently placed her shaking hand on his shoulder and waited for him to react.

His body quickly jerked when he felt her soft touch. He felt like he couldn’t breath or move, he wanted to talk, to scream at her, to jump up and embrace her, to beg her not to leave him. He couldn’t lose her too, but he did just the opposite, he couldn’t help himself.

“ just go, please” he said, softly at first.

It was as if his mind couldn’t catch up with his body, he just sat there and cried, wanting desperately for her to save him, but he’d never admit he needed saving. 

The two hardly talk, they practically ovoides each other everyday, so why did he feel like she was his life line? He’s always felt this pull towards her, one he could never escape, but he sure as hell tried.

He was hard on the girl, but only because he needed her to be the best she could be. He was in love with her, ever sense he turned twenty one  years old. They were drinking outside in the middle of Bobby’s old junkyard, he had snuk her and Sam some beer.

She was the only person to give him a gift that birthday. A kiss. Small and gentle, it wasn’t even on the lips but it was still a gift, one that he held onto forever. He told her everything that night. How much Sammy had hurt him after leaving for college, how much he resented for being so obsessed. He even told her about his mom, about Hey Jude and how she would cut the crust off his sandwiches. And he fell for her, hard and fast, and it scared him shitless. 

So he pushed her away, he fucked everyone in sight and he made her crazy ever chance he got, because she was only going to leave too right ? 

but here she was, waiting on him, keeping him alive everyday by just being there, and it made him so angry, because he knew no matter how hard he tried the girl would never leave his mind. she had his heart wrapped around her finger and she didn’t even know it. He was so fresturated, so mad at himself he couldn’t help but take it out on her.

“ hey I’m here” she said

She slowly brought her hands to wrap around his shoulder, only for him to roughly push off.

“ cab you just leave me the fuck alone.” he groaned, quickly standing up from the chair.

“ why the hell are you here Y/N” he yelled, pointing his finger at her “ what makes you think I want to talk to you, out of all people right now”

His voice was shaking, he put his hands In his hair pulling roughly at it. She just stood there, her mouth quivering. She could see his eyes were red and puffy, his jaw was clenched and fresh tears were making their way down his cheeks. She knew he probably didn’t want to talk to her, but what was she suppose to do, let him slowly drift away one by one. She loved him and even though he was a hard ass, she knew he was a good man.

“ God Y/N” he said, burring his face in his hands “ why are you here, why haven’t you left” voice barely above a whisper.

She had tears running down her face now, he really hated her this much? Her body didn’t want to move from him, but she managed to force her self towards the door.

“I-im sorry Dean” she said shaking.

His head quickly snapped up to look at her, like he could hear her broken heart in her voice. His face immediately softened once he saw the hurt in her eyes. Her once hopeful eyes now sheed with tears.

“ No, you don’t understand” he said sighing, like he couldn’t express how he was feeling. “ I treat you like shit everyday, I- I push you away, God I hate myself for it.” He said clenching his jaw.

“WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE, why haven’t you ran away yet Y/N. you’re nothing but good to me and I return the favor by-by hurting you?” He let out a sarcastic laugh “ I hate myself everyday for the way I treat you Y/N” his voice was shaky now, his body was stiff and it looked like it was hard from him to breath.

“ I’m sorry, I'm sorry I push you away, I'm sorry I beat you down everyday ” he said looking down at his lap. Letting out a shaky breath. “ I care for you so much Y/N and... it scares me sweetheart”

She knew now, she understood everything now. Deep down she always knew, he was scared, scared to be close to someone again, scared to lose another friend. She knew Dean Winchester and she knew he was a good man, an amazing man, but he was still just a man. There’s only so much hurt, so much betrayal one man can go through before they break. She just hopes she can put him back together.

She slowly made her way towards him, gently putting her hand on his face. He pushed his face towards her, finally feeling her touch actually brought him to tears. He knew there was no stopping himself now.

She slowly made her way into his lap, wrapping two small arms around his neck and letting his head fall into her shoulder. She held him as tight as she could, and could feel his body starting to relax.

Embracing each other without saying a word. His arms found their way tightly around her, securing her in place as if silently telling her to never leave him, that he needs this, that he needs her.

“I’m here” she said, her voice shaking but her grip around him staying strong.

He let out the strained breath he’d been holding in, his shoulders falling in defeat. He couldn’t help himself but to fall apart in her arms, it was home. The only place he felt safe and secure enough to truly be venerable. 

“You don't have t’ do this” he whispered, he couldn't comprehend why she was so nice to him, after everything. 

He slowly lifted his head to rest his forehead on hers. He needed her to know how sorry he was, to know how much she meant to him. He cautiously put his lips on hers, waiting for her to back away, to yell or call him stupid.

But here she was, crushing her lips against his, kissing him like she needed air and he was her breath. Holding him together, the most selfless woman.

And he felt like a shell of a man without her arms around him.

He knew then

She was his home and he could no longer run away.

***

YES I KNOW VERY CLICHÉ!! Im trying to improve everyday 😬😬😬

I would like to tag some amazing writers who inspire me everyday, I wouldn’t be into fanfiction if it wasn’t for some of them.

Some I talk to, and some I do not but nonetheless I can only wish one day too be as amazing and talented as they are!

So thanks to them for giving me some inspiration!!!

@jay-and-dean @sunlightdances @roonyxx @writingkeepsmewhole @jawritter @talesmaniac89 @hardcoresupernatural @laphirablack @crossbowking @ne-gans

[secretsniper2]

Part 3: Well Hung

My Master was right to lock my pussy behind a wall of steel, I constantly woke up to find my hands caressing the fluid that would run around the belt, my need evident and throbbing clear to me but in my belt there was nothing I could do but roll over and go back to sleep. 8am, my usual routine is stopped right out the gate by my belt, clearly meant to skip it Im greeted by my Master in the doorway, I stand completely naked save the belt locked to my hips. He steps towards me and tell me to not bother getting dressed, and puts a latex hood over my head, my hair black now (did he dye my hair overnight?) pushing through the hood to form my ponytail as he laces me into my latex face. Arms placed behind my back im cuffed in place and a posture collar locked around my neck with a leash attached. Following the leash im led into the main hall of my Masters home and I see something new, something that wasnt there last night. My Master clearly worked through the night to complete this device, largest device Iv ever seen he takes me into the middle and unleashes me. Locking a chain to my posture collar more restraints are added all over my body, my upper and lower arms get binders locked on with chains, wrists too, Waist gets 1 and thighs, shins and ankles for their own. unlocking my hands from behind my back my Master steps back, marvelling at his work.

Holding a large remote he presses a button and all the slack in my chains vanish, held tight by the chains my actions are clearly not mine to decide. Spinning a dial Im lifted into the air 3 feet, and pivot forward, my arms move behind my back and meet elbow to elbow as my knees bend back and my feet meet my hands and Im amazing this device can pull you so smoothly. Stepping towards me and raising me up to meet his gaze my Master places his hand on my cheek and with a smile moves to remove my chastity belt, with my wet sex exposed to him, fluid running faster and harder with each passing second he takes a deep breath, savouring my scent as I try meekly to move my hands a little lower to cup my pussy. My Master simply puts a finger on my labia to draw a instant reaction from my body, a gasp and a moan follow as he rubs up and down my lips carefully with a smile on his face. My focus is broken by a knock at the door, my Master going to answer I see a woman standing there talking to my Master. She is a tall woman, the high heels helping with that, a long, black latex dress drapes down her slender thighs as she gazes over at me. Ruby red lips and beautiful blue hair running freely down her back, closing the door my Master leads the woman to me and says aloud, “this is the Slave i was telling you about.” the womans eyes widen, her red lips part and my eyes are drawn to them as she speaks, “for how long can i play?” “how long are you in town for?” my Master responds with a chuckle.

Licking her lips making them shine flawlessly as my Master takes a seat infront of me, the woman circles around, like a bird of prey having found its next meal she scans my entire body with a hunger in her eyes that sends a shiver down my spine. A touch of her finger ends the shiver before it reaches my sex, all my focus is on that 1 finger, tracing its way over my limbs, seemingly scaring my flesh with its burning hot touch Im sure to melt no matter what this woman does, eyes flying to my Master as he sits with a drink in hand with his eyes glued to mine. My pussy making its need known to all in the room as the puddle that was small moments ago grows larger by the second as the finger moves down my waist and over my smooth, firm ass and down my thigh. Clit throbbing as my pussy spasms at the sensory overload at just a mere finger I hear my Master say aloud “im keeping her in denial for now, think you can make her pussy even hotter than it already is, you be my guest.” All I hear behind me is the hum of a hungry animal as the finger loops over my thigh and scratches up the inside, drawing a line in my skin leading right to my puffy lips. Right there, just a little bit further!

Pain strikes my pussy as her hand comes down on my lips, a shriek of surprise and pain bursts from my lips as my pussy shakes in the aftermath. Finger still moving, painfully slow Im met with another wet slap to my pussy, and then just as suddenly a finger dives deep into my pussy. My gasp of pain elevates into a gasp of joy and bliss, my drooling pussy is getting action and I cant believe it! The finger withdraws with a wet pop as I hear her laughter behind me.

“Come now my dear, youd think id really let you cum when your Master wants your pussy denied of such pleasures?” thrusting a finger inside again for a moment before removing it a second time I know she is, quite literally pushing my buttons as her finger presses the only button that counts. The button that stands out, big and red and throbbing with need, a simple glancing touch is all it took to get my body right to the very tip of the edge a simple breeze would push me over, my eyes shooting into my skull as my brain tries desperately to comprehend what I just experienced. She waits till I have calmed down enough then repeats the glancing brush, sending me back to the peak. Looking ahead my Masters chair is empty, looking around for him I hear him laugh behind me as I hear him give the succubus something, what could he have given her. I am greeted with a smile on his face as he looks at me on his way back to his seat.

“Enjoy the ride, Slave.” is all Master says as my urethra is jabbed with something long and hard, my juices serving to lubricate it so it slides in easily as she proceeds to sound me. The pain quickly being overtaken by pleasure as Im fucked in a hole I never considered fucking before, but shes watching me. Pulling it out before I crest the ridge of pleasure Im left to moan and beg for release, my Master stands and grabs a blindfold and a spider gag, taking away my vision and ability to speak he takes great pleasure in my loss of senses. I don't need eyes to know hes hard, and hell probably use me sooner or later.

My clit still throbbing dangerously close to the edge the woman starts to caress it with, what is that sensation? oh god no! its a brush, she circles around my inner labia with the bristles of the thin brush and I cant stop her at all, she eases the head of the brush against my clits hood and it slips between them, rubbing my clit at its very core removing it the second before I would otherwise cum hard! This torture would carry on for some time of painfully hard denials at the last second before my Master pushes a button and flips me over in the air.

My breasts now facing the roof and the device that holds me begins to pull my neck up, rising to meet the demand my mouth presses into the womans pussy. She is done playing with my cunt, now Im to play with hers, and she isnt forbidden to cum so within minutes of my talented tongues assault on her my face is glazed with her juices but she still holds strong. Clearly seeking more from my mouth she presses down and my tongue dives in deep, tasting the womans pussy as her cum drools into my mouth and down my throat. Her warm folds locked around my mouth as she grinds my face into her pussy, cumming again and again.

“shes very talented with her tongue, and her pussy wont stop shaking, i can see her clit from here!” she says with orgasmic bliss in her voice

“i know how to break a slave” My Master replies, and he isnt wrong. Im broken, his plaything to do with what he wants.

The woman stops grinding into my open mouth and my face is coated in a thick layer of her juices, I start to think its over as my Master takes my mouth for his own use. Driving his hard cock down my throat my tongue naturally wraps around the shaft as I accept my Masters meat in my throat, thrust after thrust Im rewarded with a hot burst that flows quickly down my throat. Removing my blindfold Im treated to a sight I haven't seen in a long time, my Masters cock inside a pussy. pumping in and out, oh how I wish it was my cunt he was plowing as he thrusts harder into the woman and her back arches in erotic bliss, my Masters hand gripping her blue hair as he continues to fuck her to orgasm. Im treated to a first class show as my Master and the woman continue thrusting into each other, orgasm after orgasm they wont stop taunting me. The woman constantly bragging about how good it feels to cum knowing my pussy is denied and having my clit throb making it all the worse!

So there I hang, fixed in the middle of the room watching my Master and the woman fuck to orgasm over and over again, I cant even look away, their moans, their screams, flooding my ears and my pussy with need! They finally stop their exhibition match at my expense and my Master reveals my new belt, it has a long slick metal dildo where my asshole would sit, and another thinner pole for my urethra, nothing for my needy box though. I moan helplessly as they both set to lock my body back in its cage. Flipping me over and standing me upright, the woman gives me a deep kiss, tasting her own juices on my lips as her tongue fucks mine with gusto and my Master escorts her to the door. I manage to make out “we should do this again soon” as they kiss on the cheek and she leaves me to my denial with my Master.

Locking my feet in ballet heels before removing my restraints I am left to wobble on jelly legs as my arms are locked in a strict reverse prayer binder with elbows meeting in the small of my back, he says this is just beginning and at that thought my pussy clenches a little. A corset around my waist to make breathing more difficult when combined with my latex mask and posture collar, blindfolded once more Im left in the dark as my neck gets yanked and I lurch forward in my toe crushing boots. Stepping forward a few paces Im forced to my knees as Im pulled over and down, my Masters got a hard cock again and its my life's mission to sate its lust as I take it in my mouth and down my throat. My Master not even helping me as my latex coated head bobs up and down on his member and he cums down my throat. Pulling me back he takes in my appearance. “you look amazing if i do say so myself.” he says with a smile, I can hear his joy in his words as he stands me back up and turns me around and with another yank, Im walking again.

Hard to focus on where hes leading me to, he keeps rearranging things while I sleep and my inserts are only adding to my frustration. The pain in my feet far from over as the inserts inside me are fixed to the belt, every step making them sway side to side inside me, though not enough to make me cum, I cant cum from anal or he wouldn't have put 1 in my ass. Continuing to lead me into a room he fixes me in place and pushes a tube in my mouth, unscrewing my urethra and pushing a tube up into my bladder. Pressing a few buttons Im forced to walk forward as he laughs beside me. Its a treadmill! With no way to get off as Im completely secure and forced to march on in silent obedience. Unable to draw breath through the tube my nose is uncovered and fluid pours down the tube and into my mouth, Im hesitant at first but my Master commands me to drink and so I do it since it is “your lunch after all” he said as he turns and leaves me to your walk. the fluid running into my mouth periodically consists of oatmeat, vitamins and minerals and 3 types of aphrodisiacs. Every step hurts my poor enslaved feet and legs but what could I do besides walk on the path my Master has set for me?

2 hours later my breathing is ragged and hoarse as my Master returns to stop my walking, unhooking me and leading me back to the lounge he lays me down and frees my toes from their prison. I moan as the boots slide off. Removing my belt from my waist he sits me down in the bathroom and tells me to relieve myself. following his command I do as Im told and he cleans up after me, reapplying my belt with little resistance as Im exhausted now and very tired from my walk, he leads me back to my room and lays me down, releasing my arms and removing my corset and latex hood he rolls me over and with a kiss on my forehead I drop straight to sleep. He pats my ass knowing that my pussy is safe behind that wall of cold steel and goes to set up the house for the party tomorrow, knowing I will be asleep the rest of the day and through the night. My Master always knows how to put me to sleep.

[bl--ankhaeji]

Lucky One (Donghyuck)

Pairing ~ Donghyuck x Reader 

Genre ~ Fluffyyyy

Warning ~ I really dont have anything to warn about. Except for that I wrote this one in an hour again so there may be misspelled anything(literally just had to correct misspelled words while writing this part) 

A/N ~ Another one of my bursts of inspiration again. I was laying in bed and reading something where the reader rubbed lotion on Jaehyun and this came to mind. Also hyuckie baby has been working really hard lately and I’ve been worried about him so I felt he deserved this.

W.Count ~ i’ve been neglecting word count on my past fics and honestly i’m prolly boutta do it on this one...sorry

The steam from the tub rose, creating a thin layer of fog to cover the room. Feeling the condensation start to clump on your face the heat causing you to let out a sigh. The bag of lavender scented bath salt sat on the side of the tub still slightly open from when you poured some over into the water. You had also emptied a packet of powdered bath milk into the steaming element making it turn a thin almost see through white. 

 The door to the apartment opens and then closes with a soft slam. “Babe, I’m home.” the tired lifeless words fall from Hyuck’s beautiful heart shaped lips. 

“In the bathroom!” You yell, taking a step back admiring your work. Rushing to the bedroom you two sleep in you see the weary boy laying face down on the bed, his bag half haphazardly thrown across the room. You crawl next to him laying down in the process facing each other. 

“Hey baby. How was your day at the store?” he questioned you.

You owned a music store, selling vinyls and used guitars and other things, but those two are how you met Hyuck. He accompanied Jaehyun one day to buy vinyls to which you later learned was because he promised to buy a meal for the boy and then another time he came with Jeno and Mark looking for guitars that’s when he asked you out and that’s how you two started. 

“My day was fine, a little slow though. How was yours beloved?” you smiled at the man across from you, just looking at him brought a smile to your face. 

“My day was tiring as usual lately. We have two music shows to prepare for and a weekly idol episode to film for 127. I know this is the life I asked for and I love it. I truly do, it's just sometimes it gets so draining and with both 127 and dream having comebacks back to back I’ve been running around a lot lately.” Seeing the exhaustion in his eyes and hearing the fatigue in his voice you knew that you planned perfectly. You love Donghyuck or as the rest of the world knows him, Haechan, and you love that he is happy doing what he loves, but even you know that this lifestyle can get really tiring that’s why you try to make things as relaxing as possible when he has time.

“Well it looks like you’re just in luck boy. You can thank me now for being the best girlfriend ever. I accept gifts only in the form of 100s thank you.” You say getting up off of the bed, softly slapping his back proceeding to drag him up. “Come on now, get up and look at what I’ve prepared for you baby.”

A giggle leaves his lips as he starts to follow you to the bathroom. Upon entering he is hit with the warm scent of apples. “What is all of this?” He asks with a smile noticeably creeping onto his face. 

“This” you start motioning to the still steaming water filled tub and yourself, “Is your personal relaxation spa for tonight. I know you’ve been very busy lately with everything you have going on and I just wanted to make a night where I can cater to you and help you unwind from everything.”

The look he gives you is filled with an insurmountable amount of love. It’s like he can feel himself falling the more he looks at the giddy grin on your face. Walking over to you he cradles your face in his hands and looks you in the eyes before planting a kiss so sweet you can feel your blood sugar rising. 

Breaking the kiss he starts to strip, nothing but the sound of his clothes and hitched breath from you is heard. His honey skin glows in the soft lighting of the room, no matter how many times you see him naked it will always surprise you just how beautiful he is. 

The sound of the water moving and a low hiss takes you out of your trance. Donghyuck can already feel the tension in his muscles loosening up, washing him in a serene calm. He hears you move behind him, to which he opens his eyes he didn’t even know were closed. 

“Tilt your head back for me beloved. I’m about to wash your hair.” And Hyuck’ll be damned if he didn’t immediately let you lather the shampoo on his scalp. He loved whenever you washed his hair, the feeling of you leisurely scratching his scalp whilst also managing to massage it always made his body as limp as a noodle. 

Grabbing a bowl you fill it with water and rinse out the shampoo. “Ok I’m-” “Nonono.” Hyuck whines grabbing your wrist preventing you from leaving his head. A laugh leaves your lips and you start back massaging his scalp. “At least wash yourself while I’m doing this, or we’ll be here all night unless you want me to do that too.” 

At your off the wet male looks up at you with a cheeky smirk and a face that basically screamed ‘Aye if you want I’m not gonna stop you’ “I would hit you right now, you better be glad this is supposed to be about you.” 

Releasing a boisterous laugh he starts to wash his body. 

~

Donghyuck stayed in the bath until the water got cold. You both were just sitting there laughing and talking about random things. Watching him dry off you head to the bedroom where you tell him to follow you after he put on his boxers. 

Pulling out the body oils you bought earlier that day you lay them on the bedside table. “What do you have planned now?” He questions looking at you sitting on the bed, waiting for him. 

“I told you I’m your personal spa. How can you have a spa day without a massage?”  

“My baby just went all out for me didn’t you?” He coos pinching your cheeks moving to lay on the bed. “I feel sorta bad I’m supposed to take care of you like this-” 

“Na-ah don’t come up in here with those gender standards mister. There is no what you’re ‘supposed to do’ we take care of each other, we love each other and dammit if I wanna take care of my baby boy and reward him for working so hard then I will.” 

Sitting on his booty you feel him clench his butt cheeks causing you to move faintly. A giggle falls from your lips smacking his back telling him to stop. The oil runs from the bottle onto his skin, layering the tissue in a thin layer of the shiny gloss. You work your hands, gently yet firmly pressing into the knots littering underneath. 

Pressing into his back you hear a groan leave his lips. “Fuckkkk that hurts but feels so good.” With a pleased smirk set upon your lips you gather more oil in your hands rubbing them together and then massaging it into his upper back. Near his shoulder blade you feel a pretty big knot. 

“Damn, this one might hurt. Im sorry.” You start slowly working away the almost physical form of stress. A high pitched whine leaves his lips as you really start to dig into the knot. Feeling it give way finally clearing it up entirely, you sit back on his thighs, a relieved sigh leaving Hyuck’s moistened lips. “Thank you, I’ve actually been hurting a little in that shoulder and it feels a lot better baby.  

Putting more oil along his back you start to move lower. The dimples above his butt indenting, you spot the cute mole on his left butt cheek fighting the urge to poke it, you move your fingers smoothly across his back. 

“Do you want me to massage your legs beloved?” 

Asking you to stand up Hyuck starts to put on his shirt,“No baby that’s ok. You’ve done a lot already and I feel so much better. You really are like a persona spa.” He says wrapping his arms around your torso, dragging you to lay on the bed next to him. 

“Let me turn on a movie.” you turn on Netflix and pick a random movie because you already know you and Hyuck will be sleeping anytime soon. You feel the beautiful male lay his head on your breasts snuggling up to you as the movie starts. 

A few minutes into the movie he tilts his head up looking at you, leaning up he plants a firm passionate kiss on your lips. “I love you baby. Thank you so much for being mine, I’m so lucky to have you.” he says in a hoarse deep voice filled with pre-sleep. “I love you too baby and it’s funny you think that because I swear everyday I’m the lucky one.”             

[swan--writes]

Blumjuice:

Act I

seems to be on top of his blocking, never caught in an awkward placement

loose movements

Q ❤ U 🧡 E 💛 E 💚 E 💙 E 💜 E 💗 R

good and cute boy!

who does jugs better? I have an Opinion

stray mistrustful cat who really wants love

okay but why does he keep making my "this guy is really that stupid" face?

seriously, i've never watched queer eye, but I feel like this is just an ep. of queer eye

tries so hard to actually be personable

when he said "okay..." I felt that

bOps

riFFS

okay but can he actually be scary or do we just expect him to be scary?

"DEAR SWEET BOY NO" I LITERALLY SAY THIS ON A DAILY BASIS AM I BLUMJUICE I MIGHT BE

curses like a lady

(interjecting to say i have a whole new appreciation for Sophia)

(Nat's definitely talented, but i kinda feel like i'm just waiting for her to snap out of it)

super sympathetic, i wanna hug him when he's sad, baby

probably showers once or twice a month

not sure about those beats on the roof tho, little muted

"and kill 'im!" I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK I LOVE HIM

he really is impressed, isn't he?

(Sophia and David have great dad-daughter chemistry)

oh

Oh

Act II

baby!

that beautiful sound is diegetic, you can't change my mind

these sibling dorks really spent however many days choreographing this number

OH he's using his hair to make the clones! that's cool!

Blumjuice is older brother who comes home from college for winter break all excited for all of his friends to meet his cool little sister

"foreshadowing" doesn't have quite the same effect

sounds super resigned when he talks about his mom

AW HE'S SO SAD BABY

oh, you might have to get a littel~

o-oh

ngh

i just want an official recording of Blum singing that beautiful sound reprise

(i'm sorry, i miss Rob, Barbara feels so much more like Adam's life coach here)

(who is this strange Otho? no)

oh shit our boy's nefarious

OHHHHHHHHH I LOVE SO MANY THINGS ABOUT THIS I'M VERY TEMPTED TO DO A MOMENT-BY-MOMENT BREAKDOWN HOLY SHIT

(not this Miss Tina. no.)

(somehow i wish more than usual that what i know now was an actual tango with a bigger, more colorful, busy set)

(i do have a greater appreciation for Juno here, i didn't used to like her much, but i do wish she'd been in act i)

(me? crying at the emotional catharsis? it's more likely than i thought)

he and Delia could've been such good friends wth

whooo!

oh. meh.

you're the creepy old guy!

aw c'mon man, Sexy just slapped your ass! get into it!

yes! i also do the "sOO normal"!

oooh i feel like this breakdown works better without the full voice. good on you Mr. Blum!

he's not gonna let Juno hurt Lydia like she hurt him

...oh that's where he gets it from

what a dead mom angel face with the severed leg

i really think he and Adam might have stood a chance in a different life

okay but how are his goodbyes so sincere? is it just the voice? he sounds so soft???

AAAAAAA I'VE SEEN THIS GIFSET SO MANY TIMES BUT THE LITTLE GASP HIS LITTLE GASP WHEN LYDIA HUGS HIM BAAAAAAABE

(oh yeah, late in the game, but beetleb*bes don't touch this)

awww that's not how i imagined him saying "i know that now" awWW

don't worry my love, i'll tell your story

(Charles is underrated)

(i really do love that Lydia ends the show in black again. she's the only main character who ends in the same costume she started in. look at my girl, she didn't need to change who she was, she just needed acceptance and a little life lesson 🖤)

Takeaway

he growl

he howl

he growl some more

i like growling

he's real good at it

he's a more subdued, cute boy but he doesn't dig into the melodrama of his tragic backstory

i couldn't picture him and Juno in the same scene, even though i knew fully well how it ends

but i don't think Blum is overly concerned about that because he portrays Beej as so sympathetic already

even when he's scheming he's being adorable

he's not a feral boy, he's a stray who needs love and a decent fucking meal and i love him

[mooswords]

OKAY MOO, I’M CURRENTLY READING UR FIC “Home” AND I’M— THE END OF THE FIRST PART WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. “he always comes home” -> IT’S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CONTRAST TO THE BEGINNING!!! he gets lost in his OWN fields, and that’s saying something. however, despite that, the reader still being reassured (or as much as she can reassure herself) that he always comes home = he has the red string to BRING HIMSELF BACK TO THE READER = ALWAYS COMING HOME. I’M!!!! and i love the silly banter that opened the story. aLso HIS HESISTATION OVER TELLING THE READER THE JOB HE WAS ASSIGNED... BECAUSE HE WAS WORRIED ABT THE READER.... AKDKSKKSKS. the fact he didn’t accept the offer immediately DESPITE being so in love with the sea and waited for reader’s permission is such a SMALL thing, but when you describe his love for the sea as superior, that action shows he loves the reader even more and i just- SLKDKAKDKSK. i might be over-reading and i apologise if i do bUT DO COMMENT ON IT THANK U!! 🤩💜 - ava

u sent me these eons ago and i promise i wasnt ignoring you ive just been working like 10 hour days and i am Exhausted 😭😭 but all of these messages legitamately give me life, i am so incredibly grateful! <3 im so so glad you enjoyed this fic!! and you are NOT OVERREADING I LOVE TO SEE YOUR INSIGHTS!!!! it makes me fall back in love with the fic all over again! <3 

i am SO glad that him always coming home comes through! because it gets kinda dire in the middle of the fic so i wanted there to be that hope at the back of your mind that knew he always came home. but i wanted you to be stressed about it still so :) and silly banter is my favourite part of writing this guy, i had so much fun with it alskdf.

and ok i love u, you got everything i was trying to do there <33 like i was struggling to find the balance between her reluctance and supportiveness. thats a fun (and tricky) thing about established relationship fics i find... theres that depth of understanding that can make the interactions more interesting, but so much of it is unspoken. it was a good challenge! so its so GOOD to hear that it vibes right hehe

THE WAY KUROO PLAYS WITH THE STRING!!! THAT WAS SUCH A FOND MOMENT OMG AKDKSKDK. and it’s so interesting that it appeared before kuroo even left 👀👀👀

she already missed him 🥺🥺 i originally had him tug on her hair and then i went!!! wait!!!! we can do better than that!!!!!!!!

READER IS LOST WITHOUT KUROOO!!!! AKDKSKSK and i also love the little addition where despite it being a POUT, she holds it close to her heart. with the context of their banters + that little scene, it just shows me how much each appreciate every ounce of the other party which makes me SO SO SO SOFT AKDJSKDKSK. and then hitting me with the scene where reader is eating a meal alone??? a punch in the gut. when she realised she’s alone I TOO remembered that kuroo is gone and that softness established in the previous scene is sUCKED OUT—ASKDKSKSKSK. 

im just a little obsessed with the little things and gestures that make u fall in love with someone? like the specific way my friend twirls her pen while were in lectures, or how my dad has that one little smile when hes amused himself with his own joke... and for that to be a last lifeline for her to hold on to before he leaves :’))) I JUST LOVE EST RELATIONSHIP FICS OK?!

hehehe yes im sorry about that puch to the gut oops 😇 that was a scene i had super clear in my head before i started - the bright, bright string against the relative drab of the table and room.

i’m at the part where reader gets lost and let me tell u, the fact they have a WAY to communicate via string pulling alone is SO ENDEARING and just subtly hints they have been at this whole red string thing for AGES (or at least enough to form such an understanding). that’s ADORABLE and really strengthens the bonds they have together 

yessssssssssss as soon as i thought of this idea i knew it had to be an established relationship. i have it in my brain they have been married maybe 2-3 years?? i am such a sucker for unspoken understanding relationships :’)

“You push hurriedly through the crowd, ducking between market stalls and wagons. There’s no string to follow, but you don’t need it to find him today.” THIS SENTENCE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL in the context of the entire story. and what a perfect way to describe/show the reader that it’s THE DAY. MOO, you’re really serving such great kuroo x reader stories please continue AHHAHA

this entire fic was so self indulgent please dshlfkljadsb but im glad u like this line!! i tend to try visualise the scene like a movie first? and then write it, and this was also one of the first scenes that was super clear in my brain :D

402 DAYS!!!! I SEE WHAT U DID THERE 👀👀 also, is this is a little hint to how u had to wait until the end to see timeskip kuroo? HAHAHA that wld be adorable

WAIT YO THATS CLEVER? I DIDT EVEN- ava when i say that is a COMPLETE coincidence... i literally just picked a number that was longer than 365 days... breaking news i am a secret genius JKBDSCN

i also really liked the “in-between”: of reader’s life without kuroo. u can really see how integrated they are to each other’s lifestyle, and not only that, the scene where reader handles a twin’s birth (to me) strengthens how they’re reallllly soulmates. there is a low chance that kuroo knew reader was in a desperate situation, yet he pulled on the string at the time reader needed it. it’s just—telapathy but not really + soulmate system = SOULMATES. do i make sense? and i really love the details, like how we can trace back kuroo’s scar to a moment of reader’s life in the fic. putting it at the end sort of makes me reflect on their situations that happened simultaneously yet not really. it sort of fills me in with this,,, space. that the earth is so wide. i understand deeper what reader means by “oh he’s going to be gone for so long”. it’s just. wow. the earth is so big yk.

YES YOU MAKE TOTAL SENSE!!! it's such a lovey way of looking at it :') can they communicate and understand eachother like this cuz theyre soulmates? or just because they love each other and have learnt the other inside out?? hhnn this is why i love soulmate aus, theres so much to pull apart!!!

and ok yes on the topic of how big the earth is... im so glad u mentioned this, its my favourite part because (not to get like... super sappy or anything) i was writing this through the toughest stages of our second lockdown. our restrictions got to the point we werent allowed further than 5km from out homes, so writing about freedom and big spaces and exploration of far off places was such a nice escape for me :’) this fic has ended up very close to my heart. (plus i was reading @/w-yuren’s hq0819 series at the time so i had travel and adventure on the brain hehe) 

THE ENDING.... THE ENDING.... THE WAY KUROO ASKED READER TO KI** HIM—IT’S LIKE THE KUROO IN MY HEAD YESSSSS. Gosh, this line too “when he kisses you he tastes like the sea; like salt-spray and dry rations and freedom.” may i have a director’s cut abt it :3 AND AKDJSKSK. i really love how the string appeared even tho they were together (the scene before kuroo docked on the ship) and once again, they are together, but none of them are lost because they r together-together. do i make sense? am i overreading things??? again, i have to comment on the banter. it’s simply amazing. kuroo’s replies are so,, KUROO, and they are filled with such FONDNESS I’M SO AKDKSKSK.

IM SO GLAD HE VIBES THANK U I THINK THE FONDNESS IS MY BIAS SHOWING BUT SHHHHH ;P you have picked one of my favourite lines out heheh it was one that just flowed out and wasnt one i particularly had to think about which is always nice. but i think it is a combo of me trying to be fancy lol and me being a huge fan of fantasy-books-set-on-ships. think like explorers or pirates, some rag tag bunch who have to set off on some quest and come back with some of that wildness imbued in their very being... yeah this line was definitely born from me Yearning i think :P

ooo do you mean the wedding scene? that was me trying to hit the ‘feeling lost in a crowd’ idea. you know when youre surrounded by people and joy and laughter and you just feel very small and disconnected? that.

ALSO READER’S DYANAMICS WITH KARASUNO CHARACTERS IS ADORABLE AKDKSKSKK. the festival scene was such a breather and it was adorable to see her interact with those characters. it feels like a snapshot in her life i simply adore that :3

ahh yea! i wanted her to have a life, you know? shes not the type to mope around, like life goes on. that doesnt mean she doesnt miss him oof but theres a whole community around to support her too!! and im very fond of takeda in this scene :’) he takes care of his crows <3

I RAMBLED SO BAD BUT THANK U AGAIN LOVELY I CANT EXPLAIN HOW AMAZING THESE ARE TO RECIEVE <3  

[thebluenebula]

Masterlist

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4 (Part 1)

A New Bat: Day 4

(Part 2)

Honestly I didn't want to move but I did. We walked out of the range just in time to see Jay speed out of the cave, then we took a staircase back up and popped out from behind a bookshelf in a library. Dick was lying on a nearby chair talking to Babs. "Hey."

"Hey." Kate and I said in unison.

"What we're you two up to in the cave?" Dick asked, clearly suspicious.

"I don't think that any of your business Dick." Babs commented.

"I agree with Babs." Kate smirked.

Dick looked to me. "So, what do you think of the Bat-cave?"

"Its cool." I quickly replied. "Odd though."

"The Bat-cave is very odd." Babs agreed.

Dick's phone beeped and he looked at it. "Dinners ready."

"What is it?" Kate asked.

"Let's find out." He stood up.

As Kate and Babs headed for the door I whispered to Dick. "Would it be okay if I eat in my room?"

He smiled at me. "Of course. You don't have to ask, just grab a plate and head up."

"Thanks." I followed Dick out of the library.

We walked into the kitchen and saw Alfred preping plates of food. "Hello Alfred." Dick greeted him.

"Hello, I'm just finishing preparing the meals."

"Ashleigh's just gonna grab a plate and head to her room." Dick said.

"Of course, Master Dick."

Kate handed me over a plate. "Or you could come with me, if you want. I'm heading out to the gazebo. I've been cooped up in the cave all day I could use some fresh air."

"Yeah sure." I quickly agreed.

Dick looked at me. "I'll talk you later."

"See you later." Babs said.

I nodded at him. Kate grabbed her plate and put her hand on my shoulder and we headed towards the door. Kate stopped. "Oh Alfred, Jays gone out. I don't think he'll back anytime soon."

"Thank you, Miss Kate. I will leave his wrap in the fridge for him."

"Speaking of," Dick said. "Shouldn't B be home soon."

"He said he would be Master Dick." Alfred replied as Kate and I walked out.

We walked through the garden. It was beautiful. Everything neatly taken care of. We sat down inside a white painted gazebo, the sun shined in on us. Behind the gazebo was a large brick wall, largely covered in brightly coloured graffiti art.

"The sun's nice to see." Kate commented.

"Oh yeah." I looked up at the sky, quickly looking back down when the sun caught my gaze. "We never did see too much of it on Ireland."

"Is it a rainy as they say?"

"Oh yeah, but the rain can be nice." I shrugged. "At least I think so anyway."

"Then don't worry." Kate laughed. "It rains plenty in Gotham."

Kate took a bite of her food. A wrap. I looked at my own plate. A chicken wrap. Plenty on it. I took a bite. Gorgeous, same as all Alfred's meals it would seem.

"Do you need to go clothes shopping?"

"Hmm." Without thinking, I tried to talk but my mouth full of food. Kate giggled at my failed attempt to speak. I swallowed the food before trying to speak again. "What?"

"You said you only had a few skirts. If you need to go clothes shopping I can bring you." She gestured to herself. "I'm no style guru, that's Steph and Dick's department, but I like to think im not the worst."

"I like your style."

"Thank you. So how about it then? Clothes shopping?"

"I'd love to but I think Bruce is bringing me furniture shopping over the weekend."

"I could tag along and we dip into a clothes shop."

"I really don't have a whole pile of money." I said honestly.

Kate pointed to the giant manor. "You are literally Bruce Wayne's child."

"Adopted, and I can't just ask him for money."

"Yes. You can." Kate emphasised each of the words. "He'd be more than happy to give you money for clothes shopping."

"I don't know. It just seems wrong. I mean I've only been here less than a week. It'd be rude."

Kate sighed. "Even if he wasn't okay with it, which he is absolutely is, by the way," Kate took out her wallet and put a couple of bills on the table. "I am."

I looked at the money. Five one hundred dollar bills. "I can't-"

"Take it." She insisted and slid it closer.

I hesitantly took the money and put it in my pocket. "Never hesitate to ask me or Bruce for money." Kate insisted. "Even it's for something simple like fast food or a video game. We're happy to give you some."

"Thank you, Kate, but-"

Kate leaned in. "No buts. End of story." Then she leaned back out. "Just if you need money for bullets, ask me, not Bruce. Jays has been asking him since he came back from the dead. He's convinced he'll break eventually."

"Okay." I laughed, it took a minute for what Kate had just said to register. "Jay was what now?"

Kate laughed. "That's a story for another day. Don't worry he brings it up quite often."

"Okay." I sat staring at her blankly for a moment. My brain was still processing what she had just told me.

"So," Kate broke the silence. "How are you enjoy your meal?"

"What? Oh yeah. Its nice." I took another bite of my wrap. "Is there anything Alfred can't cook?"

"If there is, we have yet to find it." Bruce said as he entered the gazebo.

Kate and I looked at Bruce with surprise. She must not have. heard him approach either. "Hey." Kate and I said in unison.

Bruce looked to me."A couple more boxes of yours came." He gestured back to the house. "I just left them in the entrance but Dick and I can bring them up to your room if you want."

"No. That's okay." I stood up. "I'll just throw my plate in and I'll bring them up."

"There's a couple boxes. You'll need a hand." Bruce insisted.

Kate swallowed the last piece of her wrap. "I'll help." She said, standing up and grabbed my plate off of me. "I'll throw these in and meet you two in the main hall." She walked off towards the house.

Bruce and I watched for a second before he started walking as well. "Come on." He said. I got up and followed him. "So did you and Kate talk?"

I silently gulped. "Yup."

"I'm sorry about that. I know what you said but we thought it'd help."

"It did. Thanks." I said. "Anything else like that I should know about?"

"No." Bruce smiled at me as we reached the back door. We walked through the house to the entrance hall. A stack of boxes sitting by the door and by them, stood Kate.

"Let's bring these up then." Bruce said, grabbing a stack of boxes.

"So how was work?" Kate asked him, grabbing another stack of boxes.

I grabbed the last stack then we started up the stairs. "Not too bad. I got that business with Lex Corp sorted out. Thank god."

"So no more late nights for a while?" Kate asked.

"For a while." Bruce said.

"So what's in the boxes?" Kate asked as we reached the third floor.

"Lego, and books mostly, some clothes and other trinkets from my old room."

"Only some clothes?" She asked.

"Most of my old clothes were torn or too small so I left them."

"Definitely bringing you clothes shopping then."

"Speaking of shopping, you still want to go furniture shopping this weekend?" Bruce asked.

"Yes. Absolutely." I quickly replied.

"How's Saturday sound?"

"Great."

"I'll join you and we can go clothes shopping. If that's okay?" Kate asked

Bruce look to me. "Is it?"

"Of course." I responded quickly.

"Also Bruce," Kate said. "You gotta have a serious talk with Ashleigh about money?"

Bruce glanced at her curiously "Why?"

"She didn't want to ask you for money for shopping."

"Oh." Bruce sounded surprised, then he grinned. "Ashleigh never be afraid to ask me for money."

"It's just, I've only been here a week. I don't want to push my luck." I said.

"Trust me. My kids are experts at pushing their luck. You couldn't be worse." Bruce assured me.

We stopped outside my room. "So who's gonna get the door?" Kate asked.

Bruce shifted the weight of the boxes to one arm and opened the door. We set the boxes down beside my bed.

"You need help unpacking?" Bruce asked.

"No. I should probably wait till I get furniture to unpack."

"Yeah." The two agreed.

"Hey." Bruce turned to Kate. "Alfred said Jays gone out. Do you know where?"

"He went to pick up Artemis and Bizarro. Why?"

"Just wondering. Artemis will keep him out of trouble anyway."

"He's in his twenties Bruce. You don't have to worry about him everytime he goes out."

"Regardless of his age, he's my kid, it's my job to worry about him." Bruce stated. "Plus it's Jason."

"Valid point." Kate agreed, then turned to me. "You said something about Legos right?"

"Yes." I looked at her curiously.

"You got any superhero ones?"

"A couple."

"Any of us?"

"I've got you, I said pointing at Bruce." Who smiled back at me. "The third Robin and Black Bat."

"I feel kinda hurt you don't have one of me." Kate joked.

"I missed out on Batwoman." I explained as I sat down the bed.

"Too bad." Kate said leaning against the wall.

"I didn't know they made ones of Cass." Bruce looked at me curiously.

"Oh they don't. I kinda just pieced her together from other figures."

"So you dismantle the little guys you get and make someone new?"

"Sometimes. Yes."

Bruce nodded. "Cool."

Kate looked at us. "So if I wanted to make one that looked like me, not Batwoman, like me me, I'd have to buy the sets with pieces that look like me."

"There's a website where you can just buy the pieces on there own."

"Handy." She commented. I yawned. "Late night?"

I nodded. "We watched a movie last night."

"We?"

"Bruce, Harper, Carrie, Duke, Dick, and I."

Kate looked to Bruce. "Not like you to stay up late, if you're not on patrol."

"Got in from the office late. Sat down and watched a movie with the kids."

Kate smiled at him then turned to me. "You must be tired then?"

"Yeah." I agreed. "I should probably go to sleep."

Bruce nodded. "We'll see you in the morning." The two headed for the door but stopped. "I meant to say this before, my bedroom doors always unlocked if you need me."

Kate looked to Bruce then back to me. "While I prefer a bit more privacy, you can always knock, or call if I'm asleep. My ringtone never fails to wake."

I nodded. "Goodnight."

"Night." The two said in unison as the door shut.

I lay down on my bed. Jason seemed to be warming up to me, which was nice. Steph and her friend, Cass, seem sweet, and I really like Kate. She seems like someone I could talk to, about anything. As I ran through the day in my head, I couldn't help but smile as I drifted off to sleep.

[bensboynton]

boyfriend ben hardy hc

hi im working hard on part 4 of good enough so enjoy this headcanon<3

send in blurb and headcanon requests for borhap boys or queen!! :)

this is unorganized and all over the place but i still think it’s cute. let me know what you think!! 

word count: 1.2k (wow i got carried away!)

warnings: EXTREME FLUFF, smut, swearing, unedited(think y’all should just be under the assumption every thing i write is unedited)

so let me get this straight, ben is so whipped for you. 

truly would do anything to make sure you’re 110% happy and living your best life at all times. 

has a tough guy persona(even thought he sucks ass at keeping it up) so he doesn’t show it often, but get a lil alcohol in his system, and bam, all he can do is talk about how every time you talk about that one book you like so much he can see constellations in your eyes. 

pda in public all. the. time. 

he has this thing where just touching you makes him calm down or just settles his nerves. 

hand holding happens a lot. 

tons of casual, lazy hugs. 

always has an arm around your waist, or draped across your shoulders. 

light kisses on your temples. 

and ben is always so attentive to you... if he takes you to an event he’s looking at you every two seconds to make sure you’re doing okay. 

if you show even the slightest sign of discomfort, he’ll whisk you away to a private area so he can make sure you’re good. 

always complimenting you. 

always telling you how pretty you are, how funny you are, how much he loves your laugh, how much he loves being around you, how lucky he is to have you, etc. 

you wake up in the morning? bam, a compliment from ben. you put something in the microwave? bam, another compliment. you vomit in a trash can in an alley after drinking all night? bam, ben compliments you while comfortingly rubbing your back and holding your hair out of your face.

speaking of alcohol and staying out all night, you both do a lot of that. 

at clubs, ben always has a tight grip on your hand, and guards your drinks from the bar with his life when you go up to the bathroom. 

loves to dance, even though he’s lowkey trash. 

lets you lead the way and just kind of follows what you do and awkwardly sways side to side. 

you never have to worry about any unwanted attention from guys because they see ben and don’t even try.

you’ve had plenty of boyfriends that, when drunk, got mean or angry. 

but ben? nah he just gets clingy and really, really cheesy and cute. 

sickeningly cute. 

if you go out with the borhap boys, he’ll come back from dancing with joe and lift you up and put you in his lap, and just hug you really tight. 

“you smell good.”

“thanks, ben.”

“i love you so much. thank you for being my girlfriend.”

“truly my pleasure, bennie boy.”

and on the ride home, he’ll put his head in your lap and just watch you as you look out the window absent-mindedly.

and he’ll tell you how beautiful you look about a hundred thousand times. 

he always is little spoon when he’s drunk, because he just wants to be held because he’s literally just a blonde teddy bear. 

okay but don’t even get me started on ben talking about you. 

he absolutely gushes whenever someone mentions your name. 

if an interviewer brings you up, he sits up straighter and his eyes come alive and his face is forced into the cutest, squishiest smile. 

when he talks about you to joe, gwil, and rami, he talks about how he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. 

you know this because joe has the biggest mouth of anyone you’ve ever met, and because you accidentally eavesdropped once. 

ben had mentioned how he’d been in a serious relationships before and they said they loved each other, but that you gave him a whole new outlook and idea of what love truly was. 

and you about melted in your spot behind the door where the four friends were sitting. 

he talked about you so much to his parents, his mom was threatening to book a flight and come to America if Ben didn’t bring you home soon. 

so he did, and his parents loved you almost as much as ben did.

almost. 

ben also really likes seeing you wear his clothes. 

whether it’s a t-shirt, or a sweatshirt, or even if you wear one of his sweatpants when they don’t even stay up on your waist. 

he’ll come back from filming after dawn, and he’ll walk into the bedroom to see you curled up on the bed in a pair of his sweatpants and sweatshirt. and his heart beats so fast it hurts and he so badly just wants to marry you. 

speaking of filming, ben has to go away a lot for movies, and it’s such a process saying goodbye for the two of you. 

you both need three days notice, tops, so you can spend every waking minute with each other. 

going out to your favorite places to eat, playing board games, watching really bad Hallmark movies, literally fucking in every single room in your place. 

that’s another thing, the sex with ben is so good.

you’ve been together for so long, and you’ve both been very vocal, so you both know your way around each other’s bodies like the backs of your hands. 

he knows how to get you riled up in two minutes flat.

and you know how to make his skin crawl, how to have him begging for you and it’s so hot.

i’m literally positive that ben would just think about the last time you both fucked for a second while on set and get hard, like that’s how good the sex is. 

and you’re both into rough quickies but every once in a while y’all will have a nice candle lit dinner followed by slow, hand holding shit that’s absolutely mind-blowing.

anyways

ben is the first boyfriend you’ve had that’s also your best friend. 

you could come home from work and yell “bitch you would not believe what cassandra did today” and ben would run to meet you at the door like “oh shit what she do?”

you and ben can get drunk and laugh like school girls, but also stay up until 3 am talking about your existence and every single memory you can conjure in your mind from childhood. 

you both know each other so well, it’s scary. 

you literally finish each other’s sentences.

and you know each other’s favorite orders at every single restaurant you’ve ever gone to more than once. 

ben could order your very complicated, yet very eloquent starbucks order in his sleep now. 

and you could order ben’s favorite meal, dessert, and drink from nando’s without any hesitation. 

but, anyways, you’ve been dating ben for a while now, and it’s clear you’re not breaking up anytime soon. 

you look into ben’s crystal eyes and you can literally see your future.

and you fall more and more in love with each other every day. 

you’re both very busy, very high maintenance(sometimes), but you both take pleasure in the smallest things when you’re with each other. 

ben can watch you write in a notebook for hours, watch how your eyebrows furrow in concentration when you drive or read a book.

he never was a man for details or little things, but the second he met you, that all changed.

ben says “i love you” a thousand times a day because he’s scared that you’ll forget.

but you’re always there with a warm smile and a “i love you more.” 

because it’s true. you’ve never loved someone like you’ve loved ben.

and ben has never loved someone like he loves you<3.

[thedankfaerie]

i am posting this here because i am tired of burdening my boyfriend with my feelings. this is a little nsfw. and this is my call for help. i dont know who to talk to anymore about this.

i need someone to hear what i feel

or at least, a free space to say what i feel 

im in a low place. i feel so awful about myself and my body and i hate this feeling. i hate that this time last year, i was so happy about the way i looked. i was working this awful job that had me so overworked and overtired and poorly treated that i skipped meals and slept through meals regularly... i lost so much weight from stress in just a year and was the skinniest i had ever been. mentally, i was not in a good place being exploited by my managers... but my self esteem re: my body was at a new level i never knew could exist for me.

last year, i felt powerful and confident about my body, and i expressed that through sexuality. i was fucking my ex that i still liked (i grew out of wanting him back, but he never did, and it was nice to have the upper hand). i was also fucking an old fwb that i stayed friends with, that was also recently single, so we reunited again at the perfect time. i was also seeing this one guy (now my boyfriend) so if ever i got tired of the sex i at least was able to calm down and settle down with someone who genuinely wanted to know me. of course, i ended up catching feelings for this guy, and cut off the other two to pursue something more serious (we are now dating and are moving in together next month!) anyways, it was so nice to be wanted. to feel... i guess sexy? sex is empowering. and it shouldn’t be taboo to say that as a woman, or anyone really. i dont want to give off the message that a woman’s validation is fueled by men’s desire - but hey, don’t you feel flattered when someone thinks you’re attractive? desire and lust aren’t everything... but they matter. and they have an impact on how you feel about yourself, whether or not you believe me when i say that is up to you. 

 and i hate that i would gladly put myself through the stress that i did just to feel happy about my body. before the summer ended, i finally had enough and i quit my shitty job. i was jobless for a month, but was able to enjoy the rest of the summer with my new ‘skinny’ body - last year i took my first bikini picture ... a 2 piece! i have never done that. i still think about how happy i was that summer to look and feel good about myself. 

i have struggled with self esteem issues since highschool. i always felt like i was too big. i used to follow all these blogs of pretty people and try to copy their poses to feel pretty and i used to spend hours after school trying on short dresses and clothes to stare at my body in the mirror. i used to starve myself to the point of literally wanting to faint on the daily, until finally i admitted it to one of my teachers. she respectfully asked if i wanted to speak with the school guidance counsellor, and i declined. but she encouraged me to speak up to at least a friend, so i did, and it helped, and for a long time, i was okay. after i graduated that teacher still checked up on me for a few years every now and again.

4th year university was when i realized how much i had let myself go. i was the heaviest i had ever been, it was my graduating year, i was looking for a job and was always worried about my grades. every time i was stressed or every time i needed to study i bought pad thai and bubble tea. a ritual. i didnt realize how much that had caught up to me until i saw old pictures of myself. at this point, i started my (shitty) job, straight out of graduation.

i actively avoided scales, i didn’t like looking at the number because it just made me upset. and i already felt upset looking in the mirror, i didn’t need something else to make me upset. but i did. and i was 20 pounds heavier than i was in highschool - the heaviest i had ever been.

i cried.

i didnt do much about it. i was too busy. my first job out of uni was a brand new daycare and i was head teacher of a toddler class - also i was the only staff on floor since there were not as many kids. there was nobody to train me, at all. i had to teach myself everything. i had no time. 

a little while before starting the job, i met this guy. he was so hot, but such a dick - we had a “thing” but it was so toxic. he started off interested in me, but i turned him down. his attitude changed and he started being a douche, but we became friends because we were seeing each other so often. i didn’t have a car yet. he was driving me everywhere. he lived 5 minutes away. he was the type of friend that would text me “im outside, lets go out”. we hung out as friends at first, we would have “study dates”, until we started hooking up. we acted like a thing but he denied we were ever one - but got mad at me whenever i tried to look elsewhere. but i guess in that time, it was nice to be wanted, especially by someone so attractive. 

but again, a year in that shithole job went by fast. i would stay late after work. i would come in on weekends. i was expected to not only help new kids transition, but train new partners. and given that my supers refused to support me, i watched a lot of people quit due to pressure. i had to keep retraining. and kids kept coming. that never stopped. i can honestly say my class wasn’t settled until december, and i started in september. everyday it was ‘its fine, it will get better’. 

a year in that shithole, with 0 support, and i lost all the weight i gained - and more. i was the skinniest i had ever been. even in highschool. i looked at old pictures of myself from when i started the job at my heaviest. i couldnt believe that was me. and i was so happy looking at myself in the mirror. for once! 

after i quit that job, i started another job that i hoped would be a happy ending.

and it wasn’t. it stressed me out just as much. i also moved out by this point, a month after i started this job. my hours are whack. 7-9, 11:30-6. i woke up early and got home late. i never had free time. my last shift at my old job was 7-3:30 and i had the whole day to myself. im someone that needs social interaction and alone time, and by the time i got home i was so tired, i would just cook, clean, shower, and go to bed. and that was my life. sometimes i would get so tired that i couldn’t cook, i just went and ate out. i tried to make personal time with my friends after work but by the time i reached their house, it was late, and places were closed. and id have to leave early anyways because i had work early the next day... so fast food was the only way to make this work. on top of this, this was the most difficult class that i had ever had. the kids behaviours’ were so difficult and i couldn’t handle it. i would cry in my car 3x a week. i would cry 4 minutes before my shift starts in the washroom and walk out and pretend i was okay. i would have my boyfriend come over as much as i could just so i could cry in his arms. i couldnt leave this job because i had just moved out and having a consistent rent payment was a huge responsibility for me. as well, if you know anything about ECEs in canada, just know we make shit pay. but this job pays me better than most ECE jobs... by a landslide. AND gives me benefits, which is so hard to find. i am still at this job - i was at my breaking point at the time covid started, so i was rejoicing when we closed for covid. i havent worked since march, but i needed that time off so desperately. 

with that being said, i gained the weight back.

not everything, but i definitely could tell i was packing on some pounds.

cue covid.

i havent worked since march. i fell back into a lazy routine of ordering fast food. lying in bed. resting. just enjoying NOT dealing with my difficult class. 

but i gained it all back. and i think im back at my heaviest weight. i picked up all my summer clothes from last year from my moms... half of them dont fit me. my favourite pair of shorts won’t close. i just sat and cried in a mess of clothes on my floor in front of the mirror. this was last week.

im trying to tell myself, ‘you’re in the middle of a global pandemic, go easy on yourself’... but do you know what it’s like to finally get what you’re chasing, and have it be taken away from you? i finally had a taste of what it was like to look AND feel good about myself. something ive wanted since i was a teenager...and it’s gone. it’s my fault and i accept that, so please don’t tell me i did this to myself. i know i did. but i can still be upset about it. i look in the mirror and i try to suck my stomach in and pretend nothing changed but its not the same. i see old pictures of myself, especially that bikini pic. ironically, i captioned it “i will never have the confidence to take a bikini pic again”... and here we are. i look at the clothes i wore last year and remember how fucking good i felt wearing them. i try putting them back on and seeing my stomach bulging and my arms looking fat and my love handles, something i didn’t see last year. and i just take them off and opt to wear something frumpier that doesnt hug my figure.

i try to tell people about how i feel but i cant take those ‘love yourself and all your flaws’ campaigns seriously. i dont think i can listen to another ‘you have to just keep faking it until you make it and if u just tell urself ur beautiful u will feel beautiful!’

because if you’re me, you know you cant kid yourself. if you’re me you can’t ‘love every flaw’. you fixate on them. and you let them define you. and if youre me, flaws are all you see.

i hate myself for getting back to this point. 

i have a very supportive boyfriend that knows about all this, who is trying to actively get me to go on runs with him. we are trying to go for walks more and be out and about. he reminds me of little things, like if we are getting bubbletea he will suggest i go with less sugar. he is trying, we are trying. and i appreciate him so much.

today i complained in my car about this to my boyfriend, again. for the millionth time. and he still was supportive. but i just feel like i cant keep doing this to him. he said something today, which i think was him trying to give me a reality check to show me that i cant just wish i could starve myself and overwork myself to lose weight and call it a day... but it stung. he said “i don’t want to be with someone that’s not healthy. i have standards too” and i realized then he deserves so much better than to fucking babysit my complaining ass. i am 24. and i shouldnt be putting this on him. he is an adult with problems just as real as mine and i shouldnt be burdening him with this anymore. 

im scared to talk to him about how that comment made me feel, because he’s so right, and he has every right to leave me. i would honestly. the amount that i worry and fixate on all my flaws and complain and have crying breakdowns about this is not fucking normal. and it shouldnt be his problem. i just want him to be with someone that doesnt give him this baggage. he met me in my ‘prime’ days when i just started getting my skinny body last year. when we finally started dating, we were super sexually active. and i mean, having sex like 15 times a week. im not kidding. now we havent had sex in almost an entire month. i dont feel sexy anymore and its impacting my sex drive.. he tries to start it with me and i just can’t because i feel like he is probably repulsed by my body. this is a huge huge huge problem, seeing as sex was a huge part of our relationship (we are very emotionally in tune with one another, but sex was a great addon because we both love it so much). i hate the way i look without clothes on. i cant bring myself to do it because it makes me feel like shit about myself.

but we are moving in together next month. and that is a huge step. and i am worried that i will never change, and he’s going to feel like he’s stuck with me because he’s moving 40 minutes away from his hometown to live with me. i almost want us to break up so he can be with someone with less baggage but i also love him and i want to be better for him and for us. 

someone please help me.