#im just venting go away
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"Aren't you tired of doing this?"
#im currently spiraling#its just one of those days#does this count as vent art?#its getting really hard to go through the days#smg4#smg4 fanart#smg3#smg34#supermarioglitchy4#smg4 smg3#smg43#smg4 au#igbp au#time loop au#smg4 igbp#projecting somgs into your comfort character to keep the loud thoughts in your head away.#SoundCloud
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me the minute i'm hit with over exhaustion: i need to die bc nobody needs me and im tired of pretending to be capable of being human
#screaming at my brain to go to sleep bc this is a feeling that you sleep away usually#and then it gets bwtter#i honestly wish i had someone close enough to comfortably tell this to rather than posting on here#i really need someone to put me to sleep#i really want to be someone for somebody that they enjoy putting effort for#but im incapable of intimacy .....#no matter how much i try ....my efforts feel all in vain. the best i get at is pretending i can be emotionally intimate w someone#but then i just dip.... because it all feels unfamiliar and scary and .... scary#im such a coward i cant look at myself i dont know how to live with myself honestly#im so annoying for myself#my brain feels like mush#no rather my brain feels exactly like the ending parade in satoshi kon's paprika#everything just happening all at once every line blurred#; words generated by me#vent tw#tw vent#suicide ideation
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Every few days I think about saying fuck it and starting T but I NEED to be in my grandpa's will ya know what I mean?
#i miss living away fron my family#at least then i could feel hopeful about it#i mean it didnt go well the first time i trird but still#i have a whole story about that but its unimportsnt to this post#aughhhh#part of the reason brain is so bad lately is cause i keep seeing so much trans joy#everywhete#and im really happy for those people#but man i am so fucking sad#it feels like thus shit will never happen#im already almost 25#and im just stuck#raghh#vent#queuing cause it got a lil too hot n heavy#this was supposed to be a lil funny but thrn i just got sad
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Ough gonna be fuckin sick I open Tumblr and the first thing I fucking see is not one, but two blogs with the same obvious art style posting Jimbalaya and kid Anya and it was BAD
I block the first one ofc, but then I scroll and see another immediately after and blocked that one too
Like fucking ew
Fucking ewewww PTSD just hit me full force what the fuck is wrong with people Anya my poor Anya this was my new hyperfixation fandom too whyyy
This is why we CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS
#vent#tw jimmy#mouthwashing#i dont know what the block names were it looked like a keymash of usernames and i was just focused on getting it the fuck away#but i think it had that red white and blue flag??? idk#haha going to go be sick and cry now byyye#be safe out there my fellow mouthwashers jfc#call that serious psychic damage im currently on 2hp
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i really don’t think it’s asking too much of my roommate to supply some toilet paper every now and then after using half a roll in less than 24 hours when my other roommate and I are the ones who have been buying it the whole time we’ve lived together
#roomie vent#part of me wants to tell my other roommate not to buy any for a little bit and encourage her to pick up some slack#which may sound extreme but i’m kind of at a loss because neither of us can afford to keep up with her waste habits#like i know times are tough but she’s not pitching in at all despite using so many of our toiletries with no restraint#it’s crazy to go through a whole roll in less than 36 hours#and it’s not just that. she doesn’t help with anything#she throws away so much trash that the bag fills up within a couple days and yet she never takes it out. she just lets it fill to the brim#until either i or the other roommate get tired of it and do it for her#and there is a long list of other pet peeves that i won’t mention here because im trying not to dwell on every little thing but damn#she really drives me crazy!
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Want to perish but hanging on 👍
#Ronkey posts#venting#Still dealing with a mind breaking headache ontop of my heart telling me every single reason im better off fading away#Just a constant barrage of physical VS mental and i#fall inbetween#It feels like im actively fighting to stay happy and it feels so unfair with everything going around#id be angry. id lash out. id cry - but theres so little in me from how exhausted i feel. on an existential level#the world doesnt stop#time keeps moving#i fall behind and i miss out and im overwhelmed#no matter how much i have myself figured out its still there#perhaps fading wouldnt be so bad#im sorry if i dwindle socially#im still working on things - i resumed commission work so at least my customers dont suffer through whatever this is im going through agai#ill email everyones completed pieces soon
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#reverse 1999#reverse: 1999#reverse 1999 oc#venison#purinsu art#i cant even do proper vent art. so cryptic drawings abt venison's trauma it is#things just got worse in the span of 2 hours so here we are#not healthy enough to talk to people and not healthy enough to be left alone#and i was just told that im going to be away for a few days#in a new place i dont know with people who are going to stress me out#while im still fucking reeling from what happened two days ago#and all the plans i was looking forward to just poof. who cares. gone. idk whats gonna happen and im stressed
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adhd comix
#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired#like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability#and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors#i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working#isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol#if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you#need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid#im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher#to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll#go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms#AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis#theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were#comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run#and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make#a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need#to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh#yapping#vent
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really fucking grinds my gears how my dad knows just how to make me feel fucking guilty for putting up boundaries and saying no
#not even for a major thing!#barely setting a boundary even! just saying i don’t want to do smth!#asking me if i want to go for dinner one evening when he knows i work late most days and have said this for years - in fact said this exact#thing to him last week - so when i say no bc i finish late he just pushes and pushes#until im like this doesn’t work for me AND i hate eating out i dont want to go. just go with my brother that’s fine. and he’s suddenly#blunt as fuck in his messages leaving me on read or guilting me about the hours i work….. like get a fucking grip your over 50 bro#i try to be polite with it but he just gets in a fucking mood like please you are a Loser#i see you weekly (smth HE chose when i was a bairn) like im not making my job and life harder just bc you feel bad that you don’t see me#more often now#also i only hate eating out with him!! because it’s awkward!! i like to be in and out when i eat with friends and we’re all the same about#it bc we’re all very autistic lmaooo but with him he likes to chat and chat and chat which is fine but i don’t.. and he asks more personal#questions than when we’re just at his as if im gonna open up just bc we’re eating thai food 🙄🙄🙄🙄#like you Don’t get to know if im seeing anyone or if im queer or even if ive got fucking plans to go away with friends tbh#like deadbeat dads that try to emotionally manipulate their kids get minimal information actually !! 🤓☝️#stelle yaps#fuck sake#i knew he’d start doing this when my brother was back - he’s always played us off each other and he always gravitates towards whichever is#the ‘easiest’ child at the time which is my brother ever since i became an adult lmao#i just don’t tolerate his shit and i let him know it whereas e will play along#me and my dad are too similar in that we both know how to really cut deep in the other :/#it just all sucks#please please feel free to ignore#i just need to vent like hell bc he winds me up a treat so bad
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Feeling disconnected again…
#im trying not to isolate myself but I been finding myself pulling away from folks again#maybe I’m just tired but idk#like I been feeling fine and drawing helps as an outlet#but when I go a day without drawing I end up feeling terrible#and I been noticing I haven’t been engaging a lot lately either which I’m mad about#like I’ll scroll a bit maybe post art and asks and then disappear#but also I been feeling like I’m gonna embarrass myself around people again#so if y’all have noticed me interacting less in servers or not as talkative in dms that’s why#vent#I guess???#I mean it’s more of just me noticing this lately and wanted to let y’all know that I just been feeling off lately#ventish#💬 chy chatter 💬
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It's the fact that we could make any number of new tags and terms specifically for us, and endos would still invade and take them over like they did with all our previous ones.
It's the fact that even though they say we're harassing them, they go out of their way to push themselves into system spaces, no matter how many times we move, fight, communicate discomfort, etc.
It's not even about the disorder at this point, it's about basic respect for other beings. It's about how much sheer stress they're causing individuals who have already suffered enough.
When will it be enough?
#sovsys.txt#((???))#system vent#anti endo#anti endo system#anti endogenic#fuck endos#endos fuck off#anti endo community#endos dni#endos go away#not for endos#seriously endos go away#system#did osdd#did#cdid#endo supporters dni#idk man im just tired#one of the people in my life has recently discovered their system and i want so badly to recc tumblr as a source of comfort and education#but because of all the endo shit i dont feel good saying this is a good place to be as a system#because there's just so much that can hurt you here#i still love tumblr and dont plan on leaving anytime soon (or ever) but still man... this place tests me sometimes
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stressed
I have to fight family again
#everybody hates meeeee#tomorrow is going to be so fucked#aunt literally said i tried to kill her???????? bro idk what to do with a person like that#im really really stressed#like it never got to physical violence or anything but im always scared it will cause it's just#getting more and more heated and i know she literally hates me right now#like usually she does the whole spiel about loving me sooo much but now she's convinced that#I'm against her#well i am#fuck that bitch#but well she's acting like a freaking cartoon villain#oh wel#well#but goddamn im really stressed rn#ok whatever i just needed to vent it's probably going to be fine#but like#i do feel like I'm planning a grand escape rn#and it SUCKS ASS#i really want to cut that woman out of my life or actually out of all of our lives cause she's just#traumatizing one person after the other#god i cant wait to be away from her so i can freaking relaxxx ToT#i can't believe i let myself fall for her tricks every single time and just believe shes good now AURGG#ok ok i just needed to vent this is so unreal for me rn I've been so stressed for days this is so frantic#whatever goodbye lmaooooooo#vent
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me when my entire life is kinda falling apart and all i want to do is to end my suffering and miserable life after 19 years trying and never got anything good that could help me but all i can do is stay here so my parents don't go crazy and k-word themselves too, and do everything my mom want and making my friends laugh about my shitty life because i am too guilty to vent and do a trauma bomb on them, and pretending that my older sister don't exist anymore because she left me here even tho she just went to live her own life.
#me when#bla bla bla#idk what im doing#i should kms lmao#vent post#i kinda want to die ngl#i want to go away#i should get my car and just go#i hate this#it shouldn't be like this#we all gonna die fr#money would solve all of our problems#coffee abuse#tw self destructive thoughts
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Vent post
#ignore me lol#vent post#I am feeling extremely angry and frustrated and alienated#like of course I'm demotivated when I point out injustice and literally everyone just shrugs at me and tells me to get over it#“what are we gonna do about it”#put any thought into it whatsoever for starters#idk I want to give up#the same bitches that tell me not to kill myself are the same ones to vote my rights away#I hate living#I don't even get validation from participating in fan content anymore#im just anxious and feeling rejected all the time#except for like five very specific moots on here#but then I feel like a fucking failure for not knowing how to socialize or show them that I care without being weird and ugh#idk i'm tired#I feel like I put all this energy into making myself acceptable for everyone else and I go out of my way to be positive and compassionate#and then I get fuckall in return#post election blues ig#here's hoping I don't end up under a bridge#I think I would be a vastly different (better) person if everyone around me wasn't a bunch of complacent#selfish#wet blankets.#I'm getting really tired of being treated like I'm crazy for expecting better.#I can't talk to anyone because I don't want to hear that I need to get over it or that everything will be fine#it doesn't help or mean anything#things just get harder and harder and I'm just waiting around#I'm so srs if you read this far don't try to tell me nice things#im in an evil caustic mood and I will just continue pouring negativity in return
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Gale does not fit the mold of a perfect victim — and to be fair, a perfect victim doesn't exist. There is no one way to express and vent out the volatile mix of emotions experienced when wresting with the pain of abuse and after, with all the power one can possibly muster, one confronts the reality that they've been used. Gale, who had been so deeply in love with Mystra, so besotted by the idea, the illusion, the fantasy of their relationship that he needed patience and time to digest the truth. What was once a blessing would later be recognized as the injustice that it is, Mystra's bestowing Gale as her chosen more her preying on his fealty, taking advantage of his faith and his obvious devotion. The anger Gale feels upon realizing is justified. He had spent years with someone he had thought loved him, but discarded for wanting to be held as equal, he had been summarily abandoned, neglected, and ordered to die. So, yes: he is furious. Yes, he had yearned terribly to take the Crown for himself. And even if it was petty, a need to punish her as much as it was a desire to feel enough, after over a decade of being spoonfed a fantasy, maybe just maybe!, his anger was due. He'd been docile enough and was gentle, patient, and has suffered enough as some languishing pariah. If he'd the audacity to show his rancor for a moment, it's because Mystra, too callous, had never admitted to her wrongs — and always thinking herself above him, will never do so.
#this isnt a headcanon but a vent almost as much as it is a char exploration#cuz like i hate this idea of a perfect victim#sorry abuse victims whove had their humanity and happiness and security burned away are#A LITTLE ANGRY#Once they realize and accept theyve been some cretins plaything#like i still cant get over ppl going see gales bad cuz he wanted to spite mystra with the crown#???? okay. so we're really sitting here thinking his anger and want to be better than her is...just as bad as her grooming#not just him but countless others???#like. not to mention gale DID want to be a god to help others too#the devil works hard but abuse sympathizers work harder (im looking at the ppl who defend You Know Who TM)#(u know who is my abuser dont worry bout it lmao)
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tag vent
#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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