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fictionfixations · 3 months ago

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OH MY GOD GUYS I GOT THE ANAKT GARDEN SET AHHHHHHHHHH

warning for major alnst spoilers ofc

I KEEP TAKING PHOTOS THE WRONG WAY AROUND 😭😭😭😭

okay im gonna summarize information

you get these id cards the main peeps of them their birthday blood type number signature fingerprint who their guardian is (i cant tell the difference between them on the card it looks the same to me but idk maybe its alien language)

and it also says what dorm theyre from

mizi till ivan and sua are in buru flower rooms although different ones

(all in buru flower room. sua is in x, till is in c, mizi is a, ivan is d)

meanwhile luka and hyuna are in different rooms which makes me believe its by like year(s) and based on when they graduate from anakt garden or something like that? i forget

according to an interview (of sua and ivan) they're from the 50th anakt garden class

hyuna is chala flower room a, and shes also the only one without a signature

interestingly enough luka is the only one without a letter after the room which i think is because of how im pretty sure hes like a clone or something? like like made and there were many others of 'him' that were made until they found the perfect him to use? im like 70% sure his guardian has also implied it or something in one of the interviews? i think it mightve been regarding either the top three or before luka vs till

i use a translator app and go through it and then (usually) mainly share ones about ivan (as hes my favorite) and include other interesting stuff that doesnt have to relate to him

also there will be some things i just dont mention

well ive only done it once and for like the art book lmfao but yEAH

i keep forgetting which page i read it from so this time im gonna write this post while looking through it to make it easier for me haha

skimming through it though i do see some stuff i think they've posted on the twitter and patreon before though i DO remember there was this one that was blurry and i think i saw it in full here

be warned translations may not always be 100% accurate cause for some reason i take a CLEAR photo of the text and then i take another but zoomed in to more specific parts of the text and it changes the translation so im just sat here like what why does having more context make it worse sob

(future me here what do you mean i can only translate 50 images a day 😭 maybe its my bad for taking so many pictures of the same part but sometimes it translates differently when i zoom into specific parts that make more sense so on parts im confused on i do that a lot)

also in the previous post i tried rephrasing it a lot but at this point its really not gonna work with this

Mizi (1) Her guardian sent a 'lullaby tape' and 'deep sea mood lamp' to help her sleep. She called it 'Shine' or something? I can't be 100% sure but she whined to a teacher about missing it and thus that was sent over.

Mizi/Sua (2) Sua helps Mizi study, and sometimes reads to her, and everytime she does it, "I feel she creates an unknown world for me."

Sua/Mizi (1) Sua was shy and didn't laugh much when entering Anakt Garden, but after meeting Mizi, she laughed a lot.

Sua (2) Children in the Anakt Garden have become more interested in the opposite sex. There are rumors among the children that there is "a tree that can succeed if you confess". Sua seems to be popular with boys as she often goes under the tree.

Sua & Ivan (3) Sua was chosen as an Outstanding Child alongside Ivan in Anakt Garden, an honorable title given to a child who sets an example for others every year. The two will be interviewed and included in ALIEN STAGE MAGAZINE VOL.2.

Sua (4) Recently, Sua's been practicing hard enough to stop crying(?). When asked why, Sua said, "I have to practice more because it's my dream to be on stage with Mizi."

😭i cant tell if its a mistranslation or if its a 'i know the truth about alnst so i want to practice not crying while on stage with her' or something

Till & Ivan (1) Today, Till fought with a new kid named Ivan. He is an aggressive child, so he needs regular education at home. Fortunately, Ivan has generously forgiven him, but I will do my best to prevent this from happening next time.

Till & Ivan (2) Till's theoretical grades have improved a lot! Practical tests are always perfect, but theories have always been weak. In particular, his grades in Religion and Music, which were his most vulnerable, have risen markedly. Is it because some kid has provoked Till recently? He's very competitive, so when he has an opponent he wants to win, he burns!

It's not stated but y'know I'd think it'd be Ivan 💀.

Ivan (1) Ivan is significantly less talkative than other children. He may have a slower language development than other children because he's adapting to a sudden change in environment.

Ivan (2) For an art class on the theme of "The Most Memorable Moment of Life", Ivan painted a sky full of shooting stars on the paper. Each star was drawn carefully, and his concentration was so focused it was like he was being sucked into the paper.

For that I'll refer to the scene back in Round 3 and my post on the artbook where it explained more on Ivan's thoughts and how the shooting stars meant to him it was

(10) in the slums, when being held over like the edge due to the anger of a dealer, he faced the fear of death at such a young age that it stuck with him, that death was always near him. the shooting stars that then appeared stayed with him unconsciously (the translation it gives me is “the ecstasy faced with death took place intensely in Ivan’s deep unconsciousness.”)

Ivan (3) He often observes his facial expressions in the pond before going to school in the morning. I feel the one translated on the patreon (free) has better translations but it only shows a few not all and I remember reading this one as one of the ones included.

Ivan (4) Although Ivan is mature for his age, he is the most childlike when he is with Till. (they fight a lot)

Hyuna (1) Hyuna is a child with gentle charisma. She has a high sense of responsibility, so she takes the lead as class president and takes the initiative in all activities. She does not hesitate to do good deeds, such as actively approaching children who do not fit in well with the Anakt Garden activities, and she is a role model for all children.

Hyuna (2) Hyuna, who loves singing, always sings in front of the children during compulsory playtime. Yesterday, she stood at the base of a tree and sang "Anakt's Lullaby" in an impromptu arrangement, and Hyuna's changed lullaby was popular at "Anakt Garden" for a while.

I've heard people theorize that Wiege is that lullaby.

Hyuna & Luka (3) Luka was hiding in a tree and looking at Hyuna, as if he wanted to play hide and seek with her. Hyuna saw Luka and invited him to play with her.

I usually format it based on whose referred to first but I actually cut off a part of it and its about how Hyuna is popular and then it mentions Luka and then I have no idea what's being said I'm using two different translator apps and they both don't make sense. Perhaps the idea is something like, 'the lonely child Luka, who also excels at Anakt Garden, even memorized her name.'

The translations it gives me call him an only kid, the best in Anakt Garden, and then continues with ", Is Hyuna" or "memorized her name" so above is my best guess tbh 😭 Reasoning? Since idk what they meant by only kid, since it mentioned in the beginning how Hyuna was popular, then if I compare then he was probably lonely (there is also art of him by a tree alone staring at Hyuna who is surrounded by many others), he was also good at his studies and so was Hyuna, and I added even to emphasize that ah Luka didn't really interact with people but Hyuna ended up catching his attention (thus he was staring at her).

Luka (1) Luka always practices until late at night. If there's even a singular thing he can't solve he immediately asks the teacher a question.

Luka (2) Luka won first place in the Anakt Garden singing contest! The children were moved to tears when they heard Luka's crying. The crying sound is clear and sweet, and moves the hearts of those who listen to it. There is a jinx that if you win first place in the Anakt Garden singing contest, you will win Alien Stage, and our teachers are expecting that Luka will win Alien Stage. It is so exciting to imagine Luka growing up day by day.

if I recall Hyuna was second

ooh thats scary the art. dude i didnt even realize there was someone behind him.. its luka whose holding up like a paper and theres two large hands on his shoulders and theres a person in black behind him but theyre so big you cant even see them just their arms and torso wtf 😭

Luka (3)

Luka complained of persistent headaches and hyperventilation during the night.

Physical examination results show abnormal blood flow and lack of oxygen in the body. There is a high possibility of congenital heart disease.

Luka's voice change begins. Intensive care is required to prevent damage to his crying(?) voice. Tea and nutritional supplements that are good for voice will be included in his diet.

one translation is 'crying voice' and the other just translates voice as crying

😭😭😭😭😭

also i cant be 100% sure the translation is right calling it congenital heart disease idk korean and the apps can be inaccurate so take it with a grain of salt

Luka (4) The end-of-month evaluation grades have dropped by 10 points compared to the previous month. Although it is a small drop, in order to prevent this, we plan to select excellent teachers from the Anakt Garden and provide intensive management. We also request periodic discipline at home to prevent Luka from being distracted.

i kind of hate luka but dude this is really making me feel bad for him holy shit 😭 wtf

now its i think graduating from anakt garden and writing messages to people um its a lot of text so idk how im gonna tackle this

MIZI

(two attempts at writing 'Mizi' are crossed out) Hello Mizi, (crossed out) Hello Mizi! You sing really well! If there is an angel, wouldn't it be right here? (crossed out)

I prepared a song for you (crossed out)

Thank you for giving me a recorder when I was little.

It's my only treasure (crossed out)

It's really sad that you're already graduating from Anakt Garden.

Actually, we could have become friends at any time, but I just didn't have time. (crossed out)

How are you. Hi. -Till- ---

What kind of place is the ocean?! I want to go play later too~~! ー????? IDK WHO THIS IS google registers it as jp characters and i think thats wrong so..ー

---

My dream, to Mizi Mizi the jellyfish girl (??) The day we were lying in the Anakt Garden meadow and looking at the stars together You became my dream. Is that why? The time I spent with you felt so precious to me. I have a lot of things I want to say. I feel complicated. (crossed out) I don't know what kind of world will unfold if I leave Anakt Garden, but I hope you will always live as green and free as the sea of summer. I believe this is Sua as there's a part mentioned earlier where Sua and Mizi liked watching the stars together and would sometimes fall asleep there instead of going back to their dorms (i did not mention this earlier thats my bad)

---

Mizi! It seems like you are a child who really loves singing. I am glad I was able to enter Anakt Garden with you and listen to your songs! I hope you will be successful after you graduate! -????-

the characters of the name are not even registered google keeps thinking its the letter m

---

You're so cute because you're quirky and lively! -?????-

---

Thank you for always greeting me brightly every morning. Thanks to your bright energy, Anakt Garden life (?) I think it was fun. Good luck for the preliminary round, and see you on stage. -Ivan-

(at good luck he said 'cheer up' or '힘내' which has like a lot of meaning to it and can be like 'hang in there' and is something Till taught him to do and I think he also said it to Till in an interview I think before their round happened, i just used good luck cause its easier to understand and cheer up in english doesnt have as much impact without that context)

yeah here and there was also the comic by what i meant him like learning it from till

---

.....i have to do this three more times........... hahahahaha hang in there me ....today i learned if you hold the button that takes a picture it will suddenly take multiple pictures of the exact same thing. 💀

---

♥️ SUA ♥️ MIZI (there are multiple hearts drawn over the page and MIZI is written next to SUA with a heart)

(mizi says a lot and as its handwriting its hard for the translation apps to decipher it from the image so bare with me for any errors)

Hello Sua! How are you? Did you know I would say that?? I can't believe you're already graduating, from Anakt Garden. Now that I'm asked to write something like this, I don't know what to write… If I had known this would happen, I would have taken the writing class harder! Then I could tell you everything I wanted to say!! Craft (this is scribbled out) Well I'll put all my memories in this letter ♥️ A moment I was thankful for Sua ♥️

Thank you for secretly eating cherry tomatoes for me when I was a kid and hated vegetables. Thanks for taking my prank well!

Now that I think about it, I think I played a lot. Thank you for helping me with my homework every day. Thank you for always listening to my worries Thank you for handing me a handkerchief when I was crying Thank you for silently comforting me when I failed my test

Thank you for always singing with me Thank you for appearing in my life I'll stop talking here, because we're always together! My dream. Sua, I love you!! -Mizi who loves you so so much-

GUYS IM GONNA CRY

---

I actually still like you. Even though you rejected me, can you think about it one more time? -???? no idea who this is-

dude can you read the room her girlfriend literally took over more than half the page 😭😭😭😭

---

I don't usually say this, but your voice is nice. I hope you do well in Alien Stage. -Till-

---

As an Oustanding Child, alongside you, I'm glad I was able to put my name on the list. I'm sorry we didn't talk much. You've always been an excellent kid, even (maybe 'when you're at') at Alien Stage(?? I can't tell) You'll get a good result. -Ivan-

---

IVAN

Hi! Ivan! I'm Mizi! You're handsome like a prince, you sing well, you study well… Why are you so perfect?! And Sua too… Are there only perfect kids around me!? By the way, I saw your stage costumes were all black a while ago, but I think you look better in white than black! How about wearing white on stage? I'm looking forward to a great performance! -Mizi-

NOT HIM DYING IN WHITE THOUGH. you know what. i bet. i bet he thought huh maybe till will think i look good in white. and then he wore white. AND THEN HE DIED

---

I don't know what to write because I don't remember talking. Take care. Bye. -Sua-

DAMN. girl you know on his stats in the art book he sees you as like a sister right 😭😭 (who am i kidding ive seen your stats too)

---

By the way, when is your birthday? I've never seen you have a birthday party. -just expect me not to include names of anyone not from main cast because I won't be able to tell if it's a mistranslation-

I just envied you so much. That's why I wanted to get close to you. -???-

Actually, I liked you, but we never talked to each other. Take care, goodbye -???-

---

Were you the one who stole the pencil back then? -Till-

😭😭😭 i think theres a note somewhere i dont think i read it in this one but in a previous alnst post about ivan stealing tills things and then returning them because he wanted praise or something

i cant recall if the pencil thing is related to him or if it mightve been related to mizi since sometimes the translation app gets pronouns wrong but i think there was a mention of a stolen pencil and it being returned to someone in here i just dont remember what page. dammit.

---

You are so perfect that it's hard to approach you.

-???-

---

TILL

Hi! Till! You're so good at singing and composing The lyrics and composition are so (she crossed out a word that looks similar to something she then says but I can't tell what it is) I'm so, so jealous of you for doing so well!! I often think of the song you sang at the Anakt Garden Song Contest Come to think of it, you got your ears pierced not too long ago, it looks really good on you! The guitar looked unique on the stage Are you taking it with you? For this performance I'm really looking forward to seeing your performance~!! Way to go! -Mizi-

---

When we were young, we fought a lot without thinking, but now that I'm older, I think I can be a better friend than you think. It seems like separation comes too quickly. I knew it wasn't useful, but I felt a little more intense with you. (crossed out) I hope you remember me. -Ivan-

---

I still remember you getting dizzy and falling over while headbanging at the Anakt Garden singing contest. It was really funny… -???-

---

I'm sure you're talented

-Acorn-

WAIT ACORN??

wait you can see part of the graduation messages on the patreon OH YEAH that was where i read the part of sua's and there was just this whole part blurred out (mizi to sua)

you know what im gonna ignore messages from anyone not of the main cast at this point idk why i did it for so long 😭

wait shit i forgot what i havent translated now 😭

---

Take care. See you on stage. -Sua-

---

IM DONE

OKAY

NO MORE

😭

#alnst #alien stage #anakt garden #anakt garden kit #mizisua #alnst mizi #alnst sua #alnst till #alnst ivan #ivantill #tillivan #alnst hyuna #alnst luka

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kais-testosterone-shot · 2 months ago

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oh boy. okay, this will be a long one but here we go

last night i went through both the Golden Legend short and the new Monstrosity trailer to figure out the meaning behind the only three colors we see and their importance in both animations. here are my thoughts.

this post is about the color gold in both animations!

just a disclaimer, i havent had a media analysis class since 2022 and my writing skills are very rusty, so bear with me please LOL. if anything, hopefully this is a good starting point for more people to brainstorm their own theories and make their own connections.

i should mention that these thoughts will influence any theories or analyses i may post in the future, especially when it comes to the figure of master wu and the former master of fire.

okay! now that that's out of the way, let's start talking about the colors.

there are three colors in Golden Legend and Monstrosity that deviate from the overall black and white palette: gold, cyan, and red.

gold traditionally symbolizes wealth, triumph, and divinity. in ninjago, gold typically symbolizes the ninja, or perhaps more accurately, elemental masters. it's also the color of wu's power, the power of creation, which tends to be likened as the driving force of "good" in the world of ninjago. we can see this pretty clearly in the Golden Legend short, when we see the ninja are entirely cast in gold in a dystopian black and white world deprived of any other color. this is the only color that appears all the time and isn't implied or hidden at any point.

this color is also found on the dragon guarding them, in his eyes and tail. i believe this is to establish a visual link between the ninja and the dragon, who is shown to have an unwavering determination to protect the ninja until their return, as he believes they alone can save the world and essentially "cleanse" ninjago from the corruption mentioned earlier in the short, thus restoring time and giving it a name again.

with this in mind, let's take a look at the Monstrosity trailer.

the first time we see the color gold in this trailer is in the visor of the new fire mech.

given the established connection between the ninja and the dragon in Golden Legend, we can infer this mech is connected to an elemental master in some way. this is confirmed later in the trailer when the mech declares it "will not fail a fire wielder again". while declaring this, the mech projects an image of a former master of fire, who appears entirely in gold alongside the ninjargon letter for K in red. more on this later and in my post about the color red.

later in the trailer, we see the mech utilize fire powers against a gigantic monster's tendril, and its fire is colored gold.

interestingly, this is only one of two times in the trailer we see fire being colored. kai's fire is in black and white for most of it.

why? why is the mech's use of fire emphasized? what makes kai's fire different? is he not an elemental master? are kai's flames effective to the creatures in this realm? the only time kai's flames have color to them is during this impact frame, which fades from red to gold over the course of three seconds (three whole seconds for an impact frame good lord. kai really has it out for this guy)

now what's fascinating to me about the use of gold in this trailer is that there isnt a single speck of it to be found on master wu. wu, who's the master of creation. wu, who's the son of the first spinjitzu master, the creator of ninjago. wu, who is constantly associated with the color gold. there isnt a trace of it on the wu we see in the Monstrosity trailer. which means...

that's not wu.

i think that since Monstrosity is going to focus on the mental hardships kai faces, its reasonable to assume there's some monster that will take advantage of kai's desperation to reunite with his family and force him to hallucinate the other ninja, or even his master like im alluding to here. maybe it's even a siren-esque creature that can change its appearance to trick its prey. who knows!

another instance in which the color gold is mysteriously lacking is when we see the former master of fire reflected in a pool of water.

this brings to mind something the new dragon says near the end of the trailer: "it's impossible to survive in a land of monsters without becoming a monster yourself." the former master we saw in gold before is no longer gold. why? the golden projection we saw earlier was from the mech's perspective of the former master. whoever's perspective this is shows them in the same b&w palette as the rest of the world. is it because theyre no longer the master of fire? if thats the case, why is kai not colored gold?

ive reached the image limit for this post, so i'll have to make separate posts for cyan and red. ill link those here when ive posted them! if i missed anything or if you have anything to add, please comment or reblog! i would love to hear any theories :]

read my post about cyan here

read my post about red here

#anyway if you read all of this thank you !! hope it was worthwhile #this is the longest post ive ever made im kind of scared to post it LMAO #ninjago #ninjago monstrosity #golden legend #these are not all my thoughts btw. i tried not to get carried away and focused mostly on the colors themselves #but i have much more to say #about multiple things #my post #ninjago analysis

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otsukare-katsukare · 2 months ago

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The AEW Wrestling Tarot

unfortunately im back on my wrestling tarot bullshit again (aew only edition this time). my supercard pack never arrived :( so i have to make my own fun. and even worse ive started drawing recreationally again which means theres a chance i may actually try to make this oh dear. anyway. i think i finally, finally have a major arcana im satisfied with and im ready for this to be another 0 note classic but truly if anybody has thoughts and opinions, i wanna hear them:

The Fool: Harley Cameron. I feel like I was waiting so long for a perfect Fool wrestler to appear and no one had quite the right combination of wide-eyed innocent glee, creativity and clear stonking potential. Harley has Jester Qualities, she basically annoyed her way into a TNT title match, she is a woman of many talents most of them creative and entertaining, she's funny, she's original and most importantly she's only just getting started. Godspeed dear Fool.

The Magician: The only reason it's not Kenny is because he's needed elsewhere but really, Will Ospreay is a good fit for this. again, aesthetically it works cause he's got that Assassins Creed overcoat and when he puts his hands out idk it's giving wizard a bit. and then there's the way he's mastered the craft, and is able to produce acts of what look like pure witchcraft with scientific precision. pure confidence, skill and the right amount of hubris to make this very Magician-coded.

The High Priestess: Hear me Out. Renee Paquette. This was the hardest one, even when I was doing this for WWE, AEW and any other active wrestlers I could think of. it's just not a wrestling personality profile, "divine feminine" and inner wisdom and truth and clarity and detachment. clearly there's a gap in the market for this kind of character in wrestling, but so far and at least in aew, all I've seen from the wrestlers themselves are action-oriented hot heads who do very little if any introspection. and it's not quite that Renee does that introspection herself, but she is the conduit for it, right? she is the closest they have to an unbiased truth seeker. despite being literally married to one of the most violent and unhinged members of the roster! whenever revelations are had, parts of the inner worlds of these people that they may have otherwise never shown, either she coaxes it out of them or it happens in her presence. i need to unravel it a bit more but I like this for her I think. and again if anyone has a better high priestess i am all ears.

The Emperess: Emi Sakura. Not a whole lot to this choice other than Emi being the nurturer of the roster, the closest to both a "mom" and someone who actively helps bring the next generation of wrestlers to fruition, like the Empress tending her garden and many children.

The Emperor: Christian Cage, again this is a pretty open and shut book I think, he's literally called the Patriarch. Don Callis also came to mind for this, but Cage has a much more explicit Obey Your Father thing going on, Don is quite openly much more of a blatant opportunist.

The Hierophant: One of my revelations after much soul searching today. It's Bryan Danielson, and the BCC as a whole, as it was originally meant to be, an ideology of wrestling that was supposed to bring it back to its simple, glorious roots. Bryan, like some of these nurturers before him, has focused much more on the future of wrestling than himself, eager to leave a mark on it by virtue of creating the next generation in his image. He also carries this reverance around him, particularly from a subset of the fandom with quite pointed views about what wrestling is/should be - but he himself is sort of painfully human, emphatically not the god of wrestling but a vessel for divine teaching. or something.

The Lovers: Kenny Omega and Kota Ibushi do I really have to explain myself here. I don't but if you're even reading this post I bet you scrolled to this point just to check I made them the lovers so you'll want something. There are no soulmates in wrestling like these two. No two who, while having completely distinct and phenomenal careers of their own, have told such a long, aching story of love transcending time and space and circumstance, of waiting for each other and holding onto that love, and of having been transformed by each other, inspired to be their best selves. all that could be their story without it also being an explicitly queer love story by the way, but that's also what it is. i cant go on anymore my feelings are getting mushy

The Chariot: Mercedes Mone. FOUR BELTS MONE BABY! RIDE the mone train. Etc. The Chariot is a triumphant victory lap, rubbing it in the faces of your enemies that you made it suckaahs. is one of those cards that could sort of be any wrestler who's "made it" really, and Mercedes hasnt even won the Women's World Championship yet, but she so perfectly exemplifies the spirit of this card, the sheer domineering ego and bombastic success of it. Truly a Girlboss Card. And her chariot's still a-rolling!

Strength: Eddie Kingston. Strength is about heart above all. Also very hard to pin down to one passionate babyface, one underdog who forges a deep emotional connection with the audience that carries them through their fight, one wrestler who just emanates that inspiring strength of body and mind and soul, but Eddie feels right here. hardened on the outside by a cruel world, but the beating heart of the whole place underneath that. grounded, relatable, honest and good in his soul. Specifically, his journey to winning the Continental Classic is on my mind here as a classic Strength story in wrestling.

The Hermit: Darby Allin. A late switchup here, as I had Darby as Death for a long time, mostly for aesthetic reasons. but really, he is the quiet loner who hangs back, who only ever found kinship with another loner like him. The Hermit is a card about solitude and reflection and, respectfully, Darby is currently literally away on a months-long journey of self-improvement up Mount Everest. Only a Hermit Wrestler could do that. Don't know if he's going to have gotten any wiser by the time he comes back and if he'll stop throwing himself off genuinely dangerous apparatus, but we will see!

The Wheel of Fortune: Moving from just wrestlers to more conceptual cards, this is The Elite but it's also specifically them as the catalyst for AEW. Wheel of Fortune is about the winds of change and upheaval, exciting new fortunate things on the horizon, luck that may just be on your side. The Elite, quite famously, made a bet, on themselves. It's paid off. But if not the Elite as a whole, this feels particulalry like the Young Bucks' card, those defiant agents of chaos who changed the whole industry by taking risks.

Justice: It's Aubrey Edwards. Justice is fairness, law and order, cause and effect and action and consequence. Vengeance doesn't count, it's gotta be objective. Sorry wrestlers, none of you fit this at all, it has to go to a referee, and why not the top referee of the company?

The Hanged Man: Wheeler Yuta. Look. LOOK. Do you think I wanted it this way either. The Hanged Man is my favourite card, Hangman is my favourite wrestler, he look so pretty hanging upside down with his long blond hair all floating by his face but I'm sorry he's not the hanged man at all, Yuta is. It's a card of stasis, sacrifice, uncertainty, imprisonment - where is Yuta right now! He is completely wrapped up in those ropes, unable to move forward or backwards, made the sacrificial lamb again and again, told every time that the sacrifice is worth it, that all his bridges being burned is worth it, and yet never managing to win anything for himself. His arc will ultimately need him to break out of his prison.

Death: Jon Moxley. Another guy who has floated all around this arcana until, after moving Darby up to hermit status, I realised yeah this fits Mox way more actually. He is, I think, the wrestler whose resurrection in AEW after his previous life is most like a death, first of all. Danielson is the same as Daniel Bryan, Kenny's Kenny wherever he goes, but Dean Ambrose is dead. And Jon Moxley is haunted. He also seems to see himself like a kind of memento mori, especially now, taking a grim sort of pleasure in reminding his foes who get to big for their boots of their mortality. Starting with the aforementioned Danielson. More than any other, he is furious for change. Either change, adapt, or fall at his hands. That is Death if ever I saw it.

Temperance: Similar potential problems with this card as with the High Priestess, but fortunately, Orange Cassidy exists. The rock-solid calm of him, the sheer incongruousness of his blue-shaded serenity as he sidles up to the ring. He's not a perfect paragon of temeprance by any means, he summons fire when he needs it in almost every match, but moving him to real anger felt like like an accomplishment from Mox when it happened. A bad accomplishment. He's as temperate as wrestlers get, I think, and he seems to spread that even keel to the people he spends time with, like the wrestling version of a capybara.

The Devil: MJF. Next.

The Tower: This one's also more of an event than a single wrestler (mostly cause making any one wrestler The Tower feels like a dig, like your thing is crashing and burning spectacularly. Owch) but it belongs mostly to Swerve Strickland and the visual of his house going up in flames, with everything in that hellishly destructive feud that represents. It's really what they did to each other more than just what Hangman did to Swerve that night, and the imagery of houses and homes (invaded, immolated, claimed) running through their feud really fits the Tower aesthetically as well.

The Star: Toni Storm! There's once again an aesthetic bonus because she is a starlet of course. I've historically found The Star a little difficult to differentiate from Strength when applying it to wrestling, both seem to invite those hope-inspiring underdog stories. But having it be represented by Toni I think brings out the more artistic, inspirational aspect of the Star, and the sense that it's really about faith. There's the faith Toni has in herself, in the story she tells about herself, that ultimately becomes true in a strange way only possible in wrestling, and then there's the faith she ultimately inspires in all of us. May she shine on forever.

The Moon: when i first was putting this together, it was Malakai Black and the House of Black, but now it's Julia Hart. The Moon is mystery, the unknown that lies in the shadows, as well as lunar insanity, giving into your darker, hidden self. The black mist is very moon-ish, and Julia seems to embody the witchy, unnerving demonic quality of this card the most. *

The Sun: Willow Nightingale. Sun's all about optimism and celebrating life. This is a vibes card, and I just needed to think who is the sunniest wrestler on the roster? and it was quite an easy pick, really. Whoever's smile is the most radiant is a good hint.

Judgement: Here's Adam Page. Judgement is revelation, a calling, rising up to meet your destiny and embrace the change, redemption, forgiveness. In other words, it's main character shit. And it's exactly the story that Hangman has been telling since he got here. He basically did complete it at Full Gear 2021 when he won the AEW title, and that's the image that this card would draw on, but he's just now embarking on what might be an even greater redemption arc, one that sees him rediscover himself having gone down a far darker parth than he ever did before.

The World: EITHER this is the AEW World Championship or it's Sting's retirement match. I'm kind of leaning towards the latter for something more heartfelt and specific that really communicates this card's meaning of completion, accomplishment and endings.

*there's another very different route one could go down for the Moon, which also means deception, false identity and betrayal - in which case this is Adam Cole lmao. He's not very Moon-ish in his aesthetic though, and aesthetic is quite important in these matters.

#aew #jon moxley #bryan danielson #hangman adam page #willow nightingale #swerve strickland #toni storm #kenny omega #the young bucks #will ospreay #really. really kind of shitty of me to tag all those guys isnt it. oh well you might find this interesting!#number 12 will SHOCK you! (thumbnail picture of hangman's face looking dumbfounded)#tarot

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thetarotyapper · 4 months ago

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what makes you so alluring? (pick-a-card reading)

paid services 18+ paid services tarot community ko-fi

(how to pick a card? observe the given options and choose the one which you feel the most drawn to. select the card based on the number provided below and scroll down to read about the card you have chosen. remember, this is a general reading, so take what resonates! ps.- if you feel drawn to more than one card/image/pile, feel free to read the others too!! if the chosen pile doesn't relate to you, feel free to choose another. the choice is yours<3)

٠࣪⭑꩜.ᐟ pile 1

ace of cups, two of cups, 9 of cups, 3 of wands, 7 of pentacles

my lovely pile 1, with the ace of cups and two of cups coming out here, i see you are someone who is very loving and compassionate. you accept people for who they are and you’re a very understanding person. people love spending time with you because you just give out this comforting energy, it's almost irresistible. your kindness and your loving nature is what pulls people towards you. people can't help but just feel drawn to you, you know what i mean? your energy is so rejuvenating and when people talk to you, they feel so much lighter and better. but please be careful, im seeing that you might also attract a lot of negative energy. people see you as someone who can rescue them and because of this, im seeing that many people depend on you for emotional support. you might feel drained at some point but seeing people happy is your first priority and you know that people feel good when they are with you and that is what keeps you going. you are a very empathetic person and im seeing that many people would like to be your friend.

with the 9 of cups and 7 of pentacles here, im seeing that you are someone who has put in a lot of hard work to be where you are right now. at some point in your life you might have felt like nothing is going your way and that all your efforts are going to vain, but here's the thing - you don't lose your ground. you still put in your 100% and because of your dedication and your strong mindset, you have reached the point in life where you are satisfied and you know your worth. you are someone who is independent and confident, and honestly babe you should be because only you know how much efforts you have put in - so be proud of yourself. you are in a state of emotional happiness and i don't see you letting anyone ruin your contentment. people find your hard work, dedication, efforts, confidence and independence very alluring. i wouldn't be surprised if people look at you as their role model. and for some reason i was getting a feeling that you might be interested in psychology because you always want to understand people on a deeper level and understand why people behave the way they do.

lastly with the 3 of wands falling out, your vision and your willingness to grow is what makes you so alluring. you are someone who is not afraid to let go of things that no longer serves you right. it's not easy, but you know that in order to seek something better, you need to move on from the negative energies. your ideas, your plans, your movements, the way you think is what makes you so alluring. you are someone who thinks about the future and you have this magnetic energy that draws people towards you. you are someone who likes to try out new things and you never settle for less. your curious nature and your thinking skills are what makes you alluring. your ability to see the good in the bad is what makes you so alluring.

٠࣪⭑꩜.ᐟ pile 2

the devil, ace of swords (reversed), hanged man, queen of swords, queen of wands

with the devil and the ace of swords popping out, the first thing i can confidently say is that you are someone who never gives up. you are someone who goes out of their way to seek the answer you are looking for and no matter the obstacles, you always overcome it. you give me the vibes of someone who has a very intense gaze and you guys might like to apply kajal/eyeliner - or maybe you have a very different style of applying it and people are drawn towards your eyes because of that. you might even have blue eyes or maybe you have very intense eyes because i see that your eyes make you look otherworldly. OMG WAIT I FINALLY FOUND THE WORD - bold and seductive. that's the energy you give off. you’re also unapologetically you and i'm seeing that some people might hate this about you but at the same time they find it so damn sexy. ugh pile 2 im literally tryna be like you because your energy is CAPTIVATING. you have this mysterious energy and you’re also someone who is very smart. im seeing that many people tend to get nervous around you and i'm also seeing that you like to keep people on their tippy toes. you like it people get worked up around you, don't you pile 2 hahaha.

with the hanged man here, i see that regardless of having such a strong heart, you are someone who is vulnerable and you are sympathetic when you need to be. but if someone takes advantage of your soft side, oh i see you never forgiving them. you do not open up to people easily and it takes you a lot of time to trust someone, but if someone breaks that trust, you won't hesitate to remove them from your life. you are also someone who will not rest until you find your answers. you have a very driven nature and im seeing that many people wish they were you. can you even blame them babe? I WANNA BE YOU TOO PLEASE SHARE YOUR SECRETS. you also have a unique way of finding answers and people love listening to your opinions. you are someone who can remain calm when things don't go your way and this makes you so alluring. your calm and composed nature is what pulls people in. you are literally the definition of 'thinking out of the box'.

you know what is so beautiful about your reading, pile 2? the queen of swords and the queen of wands popped out together when i was shuffling the cards. do i even need to say anything at this point? like oh my god your energy is beautiful. i will never shut up about the vibes you give off, pile 2. you are someone who strives for honesty and clarity. you know when someone is lying and i'm seeing that people might even get a little intimidated by you. you are also someone who is direct and straightforward and you expect the people around you to be the same. you won't hesitate to call out people for their bullshit (sorry for cursing but i just had to say it!). i wouldn't say you’re confrontational, but you aren't scared of asking someone why they did what they did. oof, what a powerful energy. your independence and your confidence is what makes you alluring. you don't depend on others. i'm also seeing that you gain a lot of attention when you go out and that is because of the badass energy you radiate. you are also someone who is outgoing and you are not the type to settle for less. i know i said this a lot before but pile 2, please share your secrets with me. i literally wanna be you because your energy is just 🤌✨

٠࣪⭑꩜.ᐟ pile 3

4 of cups, queen of wands, 2 of wands, 2 of cups, ace of swords

my lovely pile 3, the 4 of cups and the queen of wands fell out together and the first energy i could sense here is that you have overcome a very difficult time in your life where you felt stuck and felt like nothing was moving forward for you. and you might have also blamed yourself for this. your angels are asking me to tell you that it wasn't your fault and that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. the universe slowed down their blessings for you because it wasn't meant to find you at that point. but here's the fascinating thing, regardless of things slowing down for you, you were still hopeful. yes, you kind of felt like it was your fault but you didn't give up, and i am so so proud of you, love. there was a point in time where you isolated yourself and stopped enjoying the simplest pleasures in life. you were afraid, wondering if everything was a lesson. you guarded yourself from going out and making new connections. but then a realisation hit you, how long were you going to stay like this? how long can this go on for? that's when you realised you had to change your ways and your view towards life. it took a lot of effort and a lot of contemplation, but you finally put yourself out there. you finally let yourself free and enjoy the smallest pleasures in life. sometimes you would overdo yourself and feel exhausted because the fear of going back to your old harmful ways scared you. you need to slow down a little, babe. you need to go easy on yourself. overworking yourself is not good. yes you have come a long way and i know you’re afraid, but you need to know that going easy on yourself wont hurt, love. people have noticed your transformation and you might have attracted a lot of attention. because of your past, you might be a little distant and you might not be impressed easily. you are more guarded and alert. you tend not to get distracted easily, and people find this very alluring. i see a lot of people trying to gain your attention and win you over but with the queen of wands, you radiate confidence and self-assurance. people are attracted to your energy and your will to change. you’re brave and strong-minded, but at the same time you are kind and understanding. also, the way you laugh is very alluring. people love it when you laugh. the sound of your laughter is captivating.

with the 2 of wands and the 2 of cups here, i see that you are someone who is not afraid to come out of your comfort zone anymore. you’re a free bird and you don't want to fall back to your old ways. now, you’re not afraid of trying out new things and your curious and experimental nature is what makes you so alluring. for some of you, im seeing that maybe in the past you might have gotten out of an unhealthy relationship where the person was not letting you move on (4 of cups) and one day, you finally realised that this is not right and you got the confidence to leave and you also evolved as a person (queen of wands) and now that you’re finally free, you’re not afraid to try out new things and you might also be making new connections - platonic as well as romantic (2 of wands and two of cups). i wouldn't be surprised if the people you know will try to shoot their shot with you because i see that many people were literally waiting for you to be single ( this energy applies for some of you who chose this pile).

with the ace of swords coming out, i see that you like it when someone is being honest with you and you HATE people who play games. you yourself are a very honest person and when anyone asks you for advice or help, you’ll always be truthful and never hold back. i'm also seeing that you are a girl’s girl. if anyone compliments your outfit, you will literally tell them which brand you’re wearing. you don't like to gatekeep things and people love that about you. you’re also someone who is very intelligent and you have a sharp mind. you will cut through any confusion and you have a unique way of thinking. you can separate your emotions and make firm decisions. this ability of yours is what makes you so alluring.

hi loves!! i hope this reading finds you in good health and i hope you are doing well. take care of yourself and i will see you in my next reading. thank you for being here<3

(note: tarot & oracle cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, feelings and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!)

જ⁀➴ all credit for the pictures & dividers goes to their rightful owners and creators.

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mothcon · 2 months ago

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fuck it im reposting old art i did of me and venture bc its cute and i missed looking at it. i think i wanna draw sloan's tattoos a bit differently too for when i draw them in the future, gotta just make a full out body ref for them at some point i think

based off that one meme image under the cut vvvv

#venture ow2 #overwatch #sloan cameron #venture overwatch #ow2 #art #venture #self ship #yumeship

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accirax · 7 months ago

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Project: Eden's Garden Chapter 1 Trailer Analysis

Oh my god it's actually time.

As I'm sure you've heard by now, Team Eden's Garden has finally announced the release date for the fangan's true first chapter: December 20th. And, they did so in a flashy new trailer, which is nearly three minutes long! Naturally, there's a lot of content baked in to those three minutes, so I'm here to take a look at what was flashing by in those rapid-fire montages, as well as make predictions regarding what will happen at the first Class Trial. This will be fun!

And here's hoping I don't run out of images 🤞

The trailer begins with the "mascot" (in this case, Tozu) saying that it's been far too long since we last conversed. Classic.

Next, we see a preview of some locations, both new and old. CAM04: Dorm Hallway and CAM24: Tree of Ignorance were already explorable areas within the Prologue, and CAM08: Damon's Dorm was visible in the Ch1 demo released last year(?). The new locations include CAM32: Hallway A1, CAM35: Pharmacy A1, and CAM39: Pharmacy A5.

(By the way, I'm going to assume that both the numbering of the cameras and the time displayed in the lower right have no particular meaning, because I can't find any connections between them. At first I thought it was weird that Damon's dorm was Camera #8 despite him being 9th in alphabetical last name order, but given that the hallway is Camera #4, I don't think there's a correlation).

While all of the images are intentionally blurry, I'll do the best I can to describe what we can see. The most obvious point of interest is the door at the back of the hallway, under which "CAUTION" is written in big red letters. It also seems that there might be blood dripping down the door, which, if true, would match with the other blood splatter on the floor near the bottom right of the screen. It definitely gives the impression that something happened here before, and that that something was bad. There's also a grate on the wall that's splattered with red, but given that blood is pink in the DR universe, I'm assuming that's rust.

The pharmacies are very interesting to me. First of all, there are two of them. What kind of establishment needs two separate pharmacies? I guess you might if the pharmacies are as different as the two pictured. One looks more like an old-fashioned office or science classroom (it kind of reminds me of v3's Ultimate Detective Lab, honestly), and the other like a scientific research facility. A pharmacy is defined as "a store where medicinal drugs are dispensed and sold," so perhaps Pharmacy A1 is for selling and Pharmacy A5 is for creating?

The "A" in these tags could stand for "area," but they more likely stand for "alpha." At the end of the Chapter 1 demo (watch Weeby Newz's video on it if you want the same level of info I have), the students are about to go through the lowercase "alpha" door in the Tree Room to explore a new area. These three areas are almost certainly behind that door-- perhaps with the checkered pharmacy being room #1, and the blue pharmacy being room #5?

It's also possible that the entire area is considered "the pharmacy," and is dedicated to the production of medicine. But, whether that's the case or not, I have to ask, "why?" Out of all the things they could have put into this falsified Eden's Garden Academy, why make two rooms dedicated to creating drugs? Why potentially make up to five rooms dedicated to creating drugs? With very little information regarding the overarching plot of Eden's Garden, it's hard to determine why. The only connection I can make offhand is that this may have been the origin site of the drugs used to knock everyone out on the train.

I do find it very interesting, though, that this is not just a location in the school, but the very first one we're discovering. Normally, I'd think that places like these, which aren't that conducive to students hanging out (like a pool or recreation center) would be reserved for future chapters. It may imply that drugs and/or poisons are a necessary component of the Chapter 1 murder. We'll see!

Our first of the rapid-fire CGs! This one shows Kai pointing at something within a fancy pink room. There's a canopy bed dressed with pink cloth, some floral-looking wallpaper, and two small paintings of what also appear to be plants on the wall.

Given the appearance of Damon's room earlier in the trailer, I find it likely that this is not a new location in the alpha corridor, but instead, someone's room. There are many pink colored characters in P:EG-- Diana, Toshiko, and Kai himself-- as well as Cassidy, whose character color is close to pink, and Ingrid, who has pinkish hair. Of the main three options, I'm guessing that this is probably Kai's room.

People have been quick to diagnose this as a potential BDA image. If that's true, I acknowledge that this being Kai's room would be a wild choice, because it would mean that someone other than Kai was found dead in Kai's room. It would be a THH parallel, though! I just think that it's likely to be his because, well, he's in there, and all of the references to flowers seems fitting for his butterfly motif. However, Toshiko's kimono does have flower patterns on it, and flowers also match up with the ~romance~ of the Ultimate Matchmaker. If this is Kai providing a BDA in Toshiko's room, though... maybe Toshiko isn't dodging those first victim allegations.

If it's not a BDA, though, what is Kai pointing at? Imagine if it's just a spider or something, lol. He does look pretty worried, so perhaps this could be the arrival of something like DRDT's custom weapons? If a weapon suddenly appeared in my room a the killing game, I'd be kind of worried. It could also be a mysterious note, as (spoilers) we're about to see a few of in this trailer.

One cute(?) thing to mention is that, if this is Kai's room, it likely means that Kai was willing to invite Damon into his room to check whatever this is out. That could mean that they're friends! It's not cute if this is actually a BDA. It's also not cute if Kai is becoming Damon's friend just so that it hurts more when he dies in Chapter 1 :(

Woah, it's a note! (/j)

This and the image directly before it in the trailer seem to be of the same thing: a piece of paper that says "to Damon Maitsu" on it. Or, it's possible that the first one just says "Damon Maitsu" and this one says "to Mr. Maitsu"-- they look a little different, although the handwriting seems identical. I don't think there's any paper conspiracy for me to crack here.

To my memory, the prologue included some flashback CGs, so I would imagine that's what's happening here, unless Damon actually kept his Eden's Garden acceptance letter on his person (possible). It could also be a new letter that Damon receives during the course of the killing game if, as I posited, Kai was pointing out a letter he received in his room.

And furthermore, more note content? Why is this hypothetical piece of paper more visible in the trailer than Toshiko?! (/j)

Or, maybe it isn't. This note seems to read, "Meet in [???] at 8:10 p.m. tonight [???] Damon Maitsu." Due to the spacing of the words-- namely, that it doesn't seem like there's much more to this message beyond what we can see-- this paper appears to be pretty small. Combined with the color, I predict that this note is, in fact, sticky. And therefore, not the same as the piece of paper (which also has a different ink color) as the other note.

Further extrapolating from the spacing, the note looks like it's signed "-- Damon Maitsu". Otherwise, there would need to be a word before Damon, the end of which has no letters tall enough to appear next to the D. (It's LGI's "Ms. Naegi" crisis all over again... /ref) If so, that means that we might have an example of Damon's handwriting on our hands! Or the handwriting of someone who was trying to impersonate Damon :/

I wish we had a better lead on where this note was telling folks to meet up, but it's way too vague.

Then, yet another piece of paper! It's definitely different than the yellow one, and probably different from the signed one as well, due to being typed and not handwritten. Then again, sometimes typed letters have a handwritten signature at the bottom, so it's not impossible.

This text's formatting reminds me of how scripts are normally written: both the font and the center alignment are used in standard scriptwriting formats. I actually at first thought that everything after "beneath a" might have been spoken by a character whose name starts with L, but that would mean that their dialogue starts with a lowercase letter. Plus, names on scripts are usually written more like this (imagine it's centered):

LINDSAY beneath a [shoulder] If only [head]

in the sense that the character speaking's name is in all caps. There appears to be a lowercase i after the capital L, so it's probably not a name.

Still, that begs the question of why the top line is so much shorter than the one beneath it. In a normal passage, all of the lines would have relatively even margins other than possibly the last one. Could the wonky spacing be indicative of a poem, or something else written in verse? Due to the script/poem idea, I'm inclined to believe this belongs to the ever-dramatic Tozu, but I could be wrong.

Next is another CG, depicting Damon, Cassidy, and a sneaky Jean in the background. Based on the shape of Damon's ahoge, we can tell he's a little annoyed or flustered by whatever Cassidy is pointing at.

The wallpaper pattern we see in the background is that of the Dining Hall. Do NOT ask me how I remembered this offhand, because I don't know.

Furthermore, based on the wall being to the characters' left, it's likely that they're standing on the left side of the room. (It's possible in reality that it could be anywhere else in the room in front of the wallpaper only, but based on cinematography rules I won't bother explaining this is probably the case.) So, what is Cassidy pointing at? It could be the fireplace, the painting of the jackal, or the vent. Or, obviously, something new that appears in the Dining Hall in Chapter 1.

Based on my theories that the vent will be involved in the Chapter 1 murder, I'm inclined to believe that it might be what Cassidy's pointing out. If that's true, it means that she (and Jean) (and Damon) is dodging the Chapter 1 victim allegations! However, given that the characters are looking upwards, unless they're on the floor, it's probably not actually the vent. Maybe it's something on the fireplace mantle?

Also, based on straight vibes and nothing else, I don't think this is a serious CG. It might just be that it reminds me of v3's casino CG, but I kinda feel like Cassidy is just trying to teach Damon a game while Jean watches, or something. Projector on the Dining Hall walls? "It's more likely than you think," I lie.

The next six images consist of three spooky screenshots of what seem to be some sort of database which say "Ultimate" (and a picture of Damon), and three zoom-ins on what I believe to be paintings found around the school.

The only one I found of particular note was this one, which sort of looks like two people getting married? Both figures seem to have light skin, and the one in the white dress might have some shoulder-length red hair. Cassidy marriage arc??? I can't imagine what context this photo/painting/CG would appear in, but it might be important.

After that a few illustrations depicting the killing game's rules flash by. I won't be uploading all of them because 1) you can probably guess at most already if you're familiar with DR/fangans, and 2) I think these might have been shown in the demo anyways. To sum up, I think the rules can be attributed as such:

Tozu is in charge (and/or participation in the killing game is mandatory)

No destroying school property, with a focus on cameras and NG bracelets

You can't kill/injure Tozu or Mara*

Students can become the blackened by killing

Once a dead body is found, it's time for a Class Trial

... The same thing again? Oh, maybe #5 was about how to trigger a BDA, then.

Um...

Okay, actually, I don't know what this one is. Is this saying that you can't rip paper, or you'll get executed? As in, papers that Tozu gives you? Dude, maybe my "Tozu gives the students mysterious letters" theory actually had some merit to it!

If not that, could this be something about breaching contracts? The Prologue did mention "registration materials" that Damon presumably signed. Those could have been a cover-up for a real waiver the students accidentally accepted. Or, maybe this is the big reveal that all of the characters are actors in a scripted performance. In Chapter 1? Yeah, probably not.

*Technically, only Tozu (who stands between Mara and the student) has an X over him, which could imply that it's only illegal to harm Tozu. However, it's likely that, when the rule is revealed in the e-Handbook, the graphic will cycle between Xs on Mara and Tozu, or something else to that effect. It would be interesting if the rules don't protect Mara, though. I'd imagine the in-universe explanation would be "see what happens if you even TRY to hurt Mara," but that would absolutely feel like a rule intended by the writers to be broken in the future.

I'm sure someone could do a super in-depth analysis of the religious implications of this painting, but that person is not me. All I will say is, "these are the animals of Mara and Tozu." Oh, and, based on the next image, this painting is located in Pharmacy 1.

New locations! Like I alluded to above, the first image is definitely of Pharmacy 1, and I think the second is too.

The third is a bit harder to decipher. We've got a glowing photocopier with an Eden's Garden Academy logo on it, a tiled floor, many green cabinets, a medical kit, and lots of vines. I wonder if this might be a third pharmacy that functions more like a doctor's office...? I don't know what the photocopier is there for in that case, though. I'm assuming that the location behind Jett in the fourth image is in the same room due to the similar green cabinets, and the fact that you can see a similar first aid kit on the wall behind him. If that's the case, there's also a sink in this room. That's not helping me either.

After that, we have a shot of Jean with a proposition in the Dining Hall, some general purposes art which I think we've seen before, and a slick 3D animation with Damon catching a fallen apple. What do they have in common? I don't have much to say about any of them.

Free Time time! Or, at least, I'm assuming that Ulysses' part is part of his first FTE, given that it was packaged in with all this other stuff. With this, we can conclude that Ulysses, Wenona, and Wolfgang will all be available for at least one FTE in Chapter 1. I am very curious about that in general-- with this first chapter release, will we immediately be able to view all of everyone's FTEs? Or will they cap everyone off at, like, two for now? Unfortunately, there's no way for me to answer that now.

The other three images are more intriguing. The first definitely shows Damon's gift inventory, with the Black Forest Cake being highlighted. The interesting bit is all of the chibi pixels to the side, with positive and negative arrows by some of their heads. At first, I thought that P:EG might be going for something like SDRA2's ambitious FTE system, where characters have positive or negative opinions on you based on actions you take and gifts you give. However, on further thought, I bet that this is an in-game way of telling you who will like which gifts. As far as I can tell, many people either look up which gifts to give which characters or save-scum until they get something right, so taking guessing out of the equation is probably a good thing. Plus, now we know that Diana, Jett, Toshiko, Mark, Wolfgang, Cassidy, Desmond, Eloise, and Kai like cake; Grace, Ingrid, and Wenona don't; and Damon, Jean, Ulysses, and Eva are neutral. It's an extra good system if it gives us insight into Damon as well!

The second is surely P:EG's equivalent of the Monomono Machine, with Damon receiving a zen garden from the funky hourglass contraption. The interesting part to me is that the currency is named Marabucks instead of Tozubucks. Yay for inclusivity? Also, I think it's fun that the percentage reads "1,13%" instead of the standard American "1.13%". (And P:EG seems to be, on the whole, an American-coded game, given that the majority of the characters speak in American-accented English and the cast's live appearance was in Texas.) Gives you a little behind the scenes peek at who was coding this section of the game :)

The last thing... uh, what? It seems to be a Pong-like minigame, probably used to earn bonus Marabucks. You bounce the "orbs" through the "pachinko" to... I guess score points against Mara and Tozu? And, probably if you do well enough, you get varying levels of money. Perhaps I spoke too soon, and the Marabuck is simply the lesser Tozubuck.

Up next comes some dramatic zoom-ins through those spiffy remodeled locations. I appreciate them jazzing up the "outdoor" area specifically; the lack of polygons in the doorway arch always bugged me. Even if they kept those similarly unbeveled shapes in the archways to the side... (/lh)

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...

WE GOT SCENES FROM THE CLASS TRIAL?!?!?!

To clear the elephant in the room, as everyone has been reporting, Toshiko is the only student who can't be seen in the Class Trial at all. Does that mean she's dead? Uh, probably not. As part of a mystery-writing team, I would have to imagine that whoever crafted this trailer would be smart enough to know that their mystery-loving fans would comb through whatever they're given for answers (hi 👋). And, if there's one to be found, they'd find it. Therefore, I'm more inclined to believe that Toshiko's absence is an intentional red herring. Then again, this is very possibly the P:EG team's first time writing a fangan, so if they didn't think about things like that, it would be understandable.

So, who is dying if everyone else is present? To me, there's a big gulf between how easy it would be to fake someone's participation in the Class Trial. Subbing out a death portrait for a regular sprite is easy, recording a fake line of dialogue is a bit more effort, and creating original artwork is really not worth the effort. Thus, we can divide the characters into tiers.

ORIGINAL ART (basically guaranteed safe) Damon, Wenona VOICE ACTING (very likely to be safe) Diana, Grace, Wolfgang, Jean, Eva SPRITE VISIBLE (possibly most endangered) Mark, Desmond, Kai, Ingrid, Ulysses, Eloise, Cassidy, Jett TOTALLY ABSENT (reverse psychology safety???) Toshiko

Damon's unique minigame sprite and Wenona's Rebuttal Showdown art appearing over his face should also squash the rumors that Damon will be replaced before the first Class Trial at least, lol.

Within those tiers, I also want to highlight two outliers: Wolfgang and Eva. Because, of course it's those two.

Although Wolfgang is in the voice acting tier, in reality, I'd say he should be moved upward into the "basically guaranteed safe" tier. This is because his line is shown in Nonstop Debate format as opposed to the regular dialogue format. Although his lines don't have the animated word art thing going on, I still imagine that it would be easier to create a fake line in the regular dialogue boxes than in the minigame. Also, notice that I said lineS. Wolfgang also has two lines, and unless the team is really yanking our chains, I can't see why they would create two fake lines when one would surely suffice.

Meanwhile, while Eva is in the voice acting tier, she's bordering on the "possibly most endangered" tier. It may just be my "Eva could die first" bias speaking, but her line is a whole lot shorter and less specific than Diana's, Grace's, or Jean's. In fact, if you remove the comma, "obviously the case" could easily be one of her stock dialogue lines that plays over unvoiced portions of the Daily Life. If the team were to create a fake piece of dialogue for the Class Trial, sneakily repurposing a line that already exists for other purposes would be the most efficient way to do so.

Expanding on that, what is "obviously, the case" supposed to mean here? I'll once again draw attention to that comma. Grammatically, it's not that some truth is "obviously the case," but that the case is the thing that's obvious. In what context is Eva saying that, though?

Jett: Uhhh, sorry, what are we supposed to be focusing on again...? Eva: Obviously, the case.

Or, could a physical case, like a briefcase, be relevant to the murder?

Grace: But what could the killer have used to fucking store a disguise?! Eva: Obviously, the case.

The only thing I'm remembering offhand that could be a physical case is the medical kit, but obviously there are plenty of locations and props for this Chapter we haven't seen yet. At any rate, Eva's dialogue raised a flag for me. So, I'll be scrutinizing any cases we may see or any pre-Trial words Eva speaks when the Chapter comes out.

Also, Diana and Grace might be a bit safer than Jean and Eva because what Grace is saying seems to be a response to Diana. They both mention peace, and Desmond is striking the same pose in both of their shots. I doubt that the P:EG team would either record Diana expressing the same sentiment that someone else actually expresses, or come up with a fictitious response from Grace that doesn't actually exist. If you want to get really nitty-gritty about it, consider that tier as ranking Wolfgang as the most safe, then Grace, Diana, Jean, and then Eva :)

Under the dual assumptions that Toshiko is a red herring while Eva's dialogue is genuine (such that both of them are safe), though, who's the most likely victim from our "sprite visible" tier?

Well, the only victim option left from my Chapter 1 Killer/Victim theory is Kai. Fan-favorite first victim choice Cassidy is also on the table. Otherwise, I could see Ulysses, given that (if he's not the mastermind) he gives BIG victim energy with his notetaking becoming a central aspect of solving his Trial. I'd expect they'd save a gimmick like that for a later Trial, where it could better be used to shake up the status quo, but I could see it as a good intro case too. I could also see someone taking Desmond out if they were afraid of his weapon-wielding capabilities, although that's... kinda backwards thinking. Desmond's capability to kill is scary if you're trying to kill him, but it doesn't offer much in the Class Trial.

Still kinda convinced it's gonna be Eva, but I'm aware enough to recognize that's probably just the stubbornness of wanting to believe that my old theory was true.

Speaking of old theories coming true, can we rewind for a moment?

Jean: ...but, I'd rather be suspected than be the reason this trial comes to a standstill.

Hey. WHAT.

For anyone who hasn't read/forgot about the Chapter 1 victim/killer theory I just linked, in that post, I argued my case for why Jean would be our unexpected Chapter 1 killer. Needless to say, when I saw this, I screamed.

What does this MEAN?!?! Full disclosure, I was pretty convinced that the Jean!killer theory would either be, like, 100% on the money, or laughably incorrect to the level of accidentally misinterpreting Jean's entire personality or there not even being a hint of suspicion thrown on his name throughout the entire case. To see Jean acknowledging others' suspicion of him in the TRAILER has me reeling.

Assuming that this line isn't fake (which also guarantees that Jean isn't the first victim), this means that there will be a point in the Trial at which Jean will be suspected as the blackened. The line itself could easily be something that a sympathetic and honest spotless would say, or something that a blackened could say pretending to be just that, so we don't get any hints there. What reason would Jean have to be suspected if he isn't the killer? Why and how would anyone choose to frame him? But also, would the P:EG team really want to have their players go into the first Trial already primed to believe that Jean could be the blackened based on the trailer? I feel like this line was included as a cruel (/lh) trick on me specifically, but my theory wasn't nearly infamous enough to warrant that kind of attention.

It's absolutely going to be eyes on Jean for me when the first Chapter comes out. I'm so curious to see the context surrounding this quote. Did I actually call it early? Or will the "evidence" that I stacked up actually prove to make Jean a believable bait, but not the real blackened? (wouldn't be the first time :P /j)

Moving on, there's a very dramatic scene of Tozu looking over the Trial grounds, while Damon looks back. I double checked, and everyone is visible (in silhouette form) in this shot, which makes sense as it was likely created solely for this spoiler-free promotional material. In my mind, the only clues we can pick up here are that Damon is further cementing himself as the true protagonist of this story. He also blocks out Wolfgang as he looks at Tozu...? Could have symbolic significance, but could also just be a result of the pair being opposite each other in the Class Trial seating.

After that is another fast-paced montage. The first screen is the same shot of the Pharmacy table. I don't know why they put repeat info in here, but as far as I can tell, all of the props and textures and whatnot are the same. If my assessment that the murder would utilize the Dining Hall vent is wrong, I wonder if this could be a hint that Pharmacy A especially will have significant meaning-- possibly, as the site of the first BDA. That being said, they also repeat the same image of the photocopier ivy room as the third image in this montage. So, if that's the case, it means both locations will have to be highly relevant.

I feel like this image out of context looks really NSFW. I promise, that was not my intention...

Anyways, this is from the Prologue BDA.

It's Cara's doll legs, as is made extra apparent by that same cylindrical thing in the back. I'm not sure if this was put here because the Prologue case will continue to be really relevant to Chapter 1, or just because they wanted a BDA-looking thing for the Trailer yet didn't want to put in a spoiler one. Based on the different size/shape of Cara's thighs (now I feel NSFW /j), there is a slight possibility that what's shown in the Chapter 1 trailer is (an image of) the real Cara's body as opposed to the doll. However, we know that some sprites and backgrounds have been redone during the hiatus, and that could extend to Cara's art as well.

This knife is also from the Prologue BDA.

You think you're so clever, P:EG team, don't you...? (/lh)

Can you believe the students are going to investigate area alpha in Chapter 1? Or maybe this is Damon telling me I'm wrong about that, haha.

Hey, they rigged a 3D Tozu model! It's looking good. I'm sure they're glad that Tozu's mask meant that they don't have to make a whole mouth rig for the guy, lol. My guess is that this model will be used for Tozu's "punishment time" animation, the equivalent of Monokuma hitting his button with the mallet.

The last thing of note in this trailer (other than the release date) is the Chapter's splash art! The full version was posted to Twitter, which I'll be showing for clarity's sake.

“Strange that one minor event, one small action, can alter the path of everything.”

... You gotta start dodging these allegations better, Cassidy.

Chapter promo art predictions are always a tricky game when it comes to predicting who will die. On the creator's end, I'm sure you don't want to draw additional attention to your first deaths by spotlighting them in the artwork. But, if you want to highlight some of the most important characters of the chapter, that'll often include the victim and/or killer if the Daily Life is well-crafted. Plus, especially for early deaths like these, if you don't put them in the chapter art early, you'll never have to chance.

But, forget all that. Who's actually shown in the poster? Obviously, Damon, Jett, and Cassidy are, but I believe that Wenona's jacket and hair are shown to the left of Damon? If you squint, you can also make out what might be Ingrid's arm on his right. That would be consistent with where he's seated in the Class Trial. Yeah, and then that weird blob behind Wenona is actually Jean and Eva!

See what I mean? Well, if we have 7 characters on the poster, maybe it's not so suspicious for any of them after all :D

And, really, it's 8 characters. I imagine others have made this connection already (even if I haven't personally seen it), but... that's a chameleon wrapping its way around Damon. AKA, Diana's animal motif. That means that Diana is more or less on this poster as well!

As the literal framing device of the Class Trial, the chameleon makes this poster reek of Diana being the Chapter 1 killer. However, even that feels too obvious, at least to my highly-scrutinous eyes. Then again, if this was just supposed to communicate that Diana will be important, why not just put her on the poster...? I really don't know what to make of it.

And... yeah, December 20th! I'm super excited!!! While we're certainly not in a drought of in new and exciting fangans nowadays (read Danganronpa: One Shot here!), productions of this scale-- especially playable ones-- are few and far between, so I really hope that this first Chapter lives up to the hype. I'm pretty sure I'll have more to say about this fangan in a few weeks, so I'll see y'all then for Project: Eden's Garden's true beginning!

...

(Honestly, after all this time in the DRDT fandom, it's just crazy to me that we're going to learn about the victim and killer at basically the same time... (/lh))

#project eden's garden #p:eg #fanganronpa #damon maitsu #kai monteago #cassidy amber #jean delamer #eva tsunaka #i don't think i talked about anyone else in enough detail to warrant a tag #also i have seen various people bring up issues with this fangan (specifically the behavior of its crew) online #while i am highly sympathetic i don't currently feel like it's enough of a reason to boycott this project for me #however if seeing content of the game makes you uncomfortable please skip this post and/or block the tag! i don't want to upset anyone #and of course i'll assess more in the future if more issues arise (or if i learn of more damning evidence. i know basically nothing #about this drama other than that it exists. i hope the dev team can chill out tho. heard they were bashing other fangans :/)#my theories #anyways i'm excited to start my incredibly one-sided beef with Jean /j

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lightlycareless · 1 year ago

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hiii i rly love how you portray naoya and i really like how you got naoya's character on point like...... HOW

but like im imagining this headcanon wherein y/n and naoya are lovers and naoya brought up the topic of having an "open relationship" and naoya ends up getting no bitches/loses them in the process and y/n ends up getting approached by men who naoya respects a lot or someone he really looks up to and naoya becomes jealous and very insecure even though he was the one who wanted to open the relationship (reminds me of what you wrote about naoya's jealousy towards nanami)

Hello anon!

Awww, thank you so much ❤️❤️ I spent a lot of time thinking how to make Naoya as realistically possible, how to redeem him and such, which was difficult, but satisfying at the same time.

Yet, something a-hole behaviors of him would remain, lol it has to, or it wouldn't be him, you know???

And the open relationship thing is soooo in character for him. Ugh that man, seriously... As much as I want to deny it, I feel like he would bring it up (but in a universe he isn't like completely devoted to you, like he has yet to realize just how much you mean to him—all paths point to the same destination, it's just... how he gets there that matters lol)

Anyways, here are the warnings of this oneshot 😏: y/n has a harem essentially. gojo, suguru, nanami, and an extra one I've been dying to write. :)))) mentions of infidelity, naoya is a bastard. and a sprinkle of smut. fluff, and angst.

Without any further a do, happy reading!!

When the idea of an open relationship is suggested… the first of many fractures unwittingly struck your relationship.

First by shattering the image you had of him.

Sure, your feelings for Naoya remained, which is what made this ordeal far more painful…

But that didn’t mean you couldn’t harbor other emotions, such as anger.

“—just before we finally settle.” Is the lousy excuse he gives you when confronted, another stab to your heart. “Get it out of the system, you know?”

No. You don’t know, because for the past few years, Naoya is the only man you’ve had eyes for, to the point of imagining a future with him—and solely him.

It hurts to even consider he hasn’t been doing the same, probably already interested in some other woman, the reason behind his suggestion in the first place.

“I don’t want to…” you murmur, doing your best to not leave the table, or at least not shed a tear.

“It’ll only be a short time.” Naoya insists. “This way, we can know if we’re truly meant for each other. See if we don’t feel the same with others, hm?”

It’s stupid.

It really is—

Naoya’s suggestion… and your devotion to make him happy.

Because even after all the dumb things he said to justify the unjustifiable, you still wanted to please him.

“I guess we could go through restrictions or something, not that I have an—”

“No sex.” The rapid way in which you reply is something Naoya can’t help but find adorable, interpreting your eagerness as jealousy, overprotectiveness… before brushing it off as silly.

“Y/N—my love, you’re not seriously thinking we can reach a conclusion without that now, can we?”

Truth to be told, you didn’t want to find out. Not through this way at least, by laying in the arms of another…

Thus, could he really blame you for trying to fight it?

“Besides, don’t you want to try it out too?” Naoya smirks. “I’m fine with it, really. It’s a two-way street, after all. What’s good in me having all the fun?”

What hurts more?

That fact that Naoya wanted to pursue other women with your permission?

Or that he was pushing you onto other men, appearing careless to whatever you did or didn’t do with them?

It’s not that Naoya doesn’t care—far from that, really. He doesn’t like when men do as little as glance in your direction.

But he doesn’t worry because he knows there’s nothing to worry about.

Trusting that his hopelessly-in-love girlfriend would never betray him like that. Aware that your attention and devotion has been on him the moment you took him into your heart—and that no matter what, you’ll always come back to him.

It’s why he suggested the idea in the first place, because he’s long acknowledged that even past your limits, you still tolerate him.

Thus, unsurprised that you agreed to this change—Naoya leaving the apartment soon after that.

Looks like you were right in assuming he already had someone in mind to debut this new arrangement; willing to bet anything to prove he’s already on his way to her.

…Well, you hope that Naoya at least respects the only condition both agreed on: to not bring any partners to the apartment.

Not that you’d be there to see much of it anyways, opting to stay in your friend’s—Shoko— apartment for the time being.

“Can’t say I didn’t think him capable of doing something like that—but I guess I never thought he’d actually do it, not after dating you as long as he did.” She’d say, before taking a deep huff of her cigarette and exhaling.

You always found it endearing how she’d release the smoke to the side, as if it didn’t permeate the air around you… but at least Shoko cares enough to try. Not sure if you think the same of Naoya anymore…

“So much for having faith on him…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you say, offended yet intrigued by her implications.

“I mean, you knew of the rumors before dating him, Y/N.” Shoko adds, you sigh. That, you did. “I don’t want to say I told you so, but…”

“I guess I was hoping they weren’t real, either.” You slowly admit. “…What am I going to do, Shoko?”

A breakup isn’t exactly what you had in mind, certainly not what you wanted to do….

But why do that now when you could take advantage of this exploitable opportunity? An opening all too obvious to Shoko, which she doesn’t hesitate to let you know.

“Give him a taste of his own medicine.” She suddenly suggests. “He told you, didn’t he? That you were good to be with other men.”

“But I don’t want to.” You shake your head. “I don’t—I don’t think I can.”

“It’s exactly the same, just another face if that’s what you’re wondering.” Shoko explains, but to you, it was much deeper than that, always has been, for an emotional personal like you.

It’s why she was so angry that your beloved boyfriend was quick to disregard your feelings.

“Ok, sure, let’s say I agree.” You play along. “How do I even start? It’s been a while since I’ve been in the dating scene—I don’t even know if I’m still… desirable.”

Oh, if you only knew some were dying for this moment.

The first to approach you, and shockingly no less than a day after, was Gojo.

It was through an unexpected text, making you surprised he still had your number after all that time—or at all, considering you didn’t really text anyone outside of your family, close friends, and… Naoya.

Satoru once belonged to your social circle, but due to unknown reasons of his own, most likely to do with Suguru, he strayed.

Either way, you responded as amicably expected.

S: [Are you doing anything tonight?]

Y: [No… why?]

S: [Let’s get something to eat 😋]

Y: [Did you text the wrong person?]

S: [Wait, is this not Y/N’s number?]

Y: [It is…]

S: [Then I’ll pick you up later at Shoko’s apartment, 7 alright for you?]

Y: [Wait, how do you even know where I’m staying?]

S: [It’s a date, then! See you soon!]

It was good to see that Satoru remained as… well, pushy as ever. Not that you were glad to have been pulled into this outing without further precedent, but you eventually succumbed to the flow, and soon, you were in one of the fanciest restaurants of the city, sitting at a table Satoru had gotten through a reservation (difficult to do so given the status of the establishment, guess he can do anything that he sets his mind to), while chatting the evening away with just about anything that crossed his mind.

Regardless of how… oddly this situation came to be, you still found enjoyment in catching up with an old friend of yours. It had been so long since anyone had seen him, many even thought he had left the country all together.

Not that you had a way to know, since your connections were already limited thanks to Naoya—One of the many things you’ve had to sacrifice in to keep your attention solely on him.

…

Was your relationship with him always this consuming?

Well, you had lots of catch up with Satoru either way—it almost felt like you were getting to know him all over again! Happy to see that he essentially remained the same (somewhat irritating) goofball he always was.

But unfortunately, just as the good remained, the bad also prevailed, which you’d be reminded of when going for a walk around the city, just a few blocks down the main road when both were approached by a group of women, who upon catching sight of him and his undeniable attractiveness, knew they needed his attention.

That’s the thing with Satoru. Raised as the heir of a highly prestigious company, he just never got enough of it. Always wanting more and more, and not afraid to do whatever necessary to get it, careless if it was to the detriment of others.

Thus, you assumed it wouldn’t take long before he completely ignored you in favor of them, leaving you behind.

When talking about him, you normally wouldn’t care if he left you or not. He was just another friend, long accustomed to his ways. It was just… never like that.

But after all that happened with Naoya, it’s like your still-healing wound reopened, pain sharper when slowly reminded that even with a friend, you weren’t good enough to retain their attention, less their care…

Well, at least it was a good distraction, and you got to see Satoru again. You wonder how much would a taxi cost to take—

“Seriously, couldn’t you be any denser?? I’m on a date here!”

As if you’d been showered with a bucketful of ice-cold water, you freeze, blinking while slowly turning to see him and his angered face.

Did you… Did you hear him right?

“Get lost.” Satoru doesn’t even bother letting them respond before his hand is already on your back, gently pushing you forward and away from the group, leaving behind both the distraught, slightly spiteful women…

And your erroneous preconceptions.

As he goes back to the previous conversation you two were having, acting as if nothing happened, even suggesting getting something sweet to serve as dessert —your choice, he’d tease— all the self-doubt you felt for his actions immediately evaporates.

It was simple, more likely unintentional, but his gesture in defending your importance, highlighting the fact he wanted to be with you, against how he usually behaved…

Made you feel special, realizing that perhaps it wasn’t that hard to be somewhat of a decent person.

Yet, your feelings…

“It was a nice night out.” Satoru would say once parked outside Shoko’s apartment complex, signifying the end of your unexpected yet pleasurable evening with him.

“Yeah, it was… nice.”

“I hope we can do this again.” But you don’t keep your hopes up, not when your feelings for Naoya were still there, prickling at the back of your mind, inundating you with a sense of wrongfulness, for you were never one to offer the other cheek, regardless of what your estranged boyfriend was or wasn’t doing.

Unless Gojo were to do something to make you… well, not change your mind, but rattle your beliefs, if only for a moment, when he ruffled the top of your head, giving you a smile, before softly kissing your forehead.

Alongside the reminder that…

“You’re too pretty to be upset about someone like him.”

Albeit archaic, his words convinced you that perhaps… you could do with another day like this.

The second to approach you, yet again to much of your surprise, is Geto. Just a few days after Satoru did. Although his invitation was much more… palpable.

In other words, you were getting lunch with Shoko when he made his “sudden” appearance, joining the two for a bite, before driving both back to her apartment, only voicing his intentions when she was out the car, leaving you alone.

Although sweet, wholeheartedly intending to spend time with you, you could still that some of it lingered the realms of an unspoken competition between him and Satoru—which you didn’t know whether to be flattered by, or worried…

“—and let me guess. He spent the whole evening talking about himself.”

Somewhat, not that you cared to justify, really, for you were far more enthralled in learning all that he’s been up to since he left.

But it was the truth either way.

Geto sighs.

“We’ll do something better.” And so, is how the date begins, by first taking you to the mall, window shopping through essentially every store that crossed your path, while catching up with him—he too had disappeared for a while, motives unclear, although the common theory was that he had a nasty falling out with Gojo. But now it seems they’re on good terms given the way he occasionally mentioned him throughout the conversation.

Beyond that, you assumed Geto also took this visit as a good opportunity to go through some pending errands, maybe get something for himself as well—or… for someone else.

The things he was looking at were quite eye-catching, after all, very gift appropriate.

Regardless of who it was intended to, you were right to assume they were special to him if he was considering buying a diamond necklace…

But yet again, that’s what you believed—reality was simply much different.

Or obvious.

“Why don’t you try it on?”

“Huh?”

“I asked if you wanted to try it on— I know it’ll look beautiful on you.” He’d say that, genuinely, with just about anything he deemed suitably for you, ranging from jewelry to clothes…

With your face flaring every single time.

“Oh—I—I don’t—” you stammer, struggling whether to decline his offer because this is all too luxurious for your taste…

Or because you were still processing the words that made you blush in the first place… alongside the fact that at one point, his hand had reached for yours without even noticing, intertwining his fingers with yours and staying that way while the two continued to walk around the mall.

Just… why did Satoru and Suguru decided to appear out of the nowhere?

“No, thank you.” Is what you eventually manage to say. If he’s noticed your nerves, he doesn’t say, instead, he simply gives your hand a soft squeeze, followed by another equally charming smile. “I don’t feel like trying out things either way.”

“Don’t worry about it, then. Perhaps another time.”

At his promise, you can’t hold back your skin from growing increasingly hotter, doing your best to instead focus on the movie the two agreed to watch, with little to no success, of course, considering Geto also took this opportunity to unconsciously drape his arm over your shoulders and move you closer.

While stereotypical, it still manages to fluster, and that’s how you’d remain for the rest of the date: even when getting something to eat, or when it was time to take you back to Shoko’s apartment once late enough.

But on the way back to the parking lot, you’re able to snap out of this trance when something catches your attention, just by the corner of your eye, effectively stopping you on your tracks.

Something simple, like a minimal black halter dress… unintentionally the same model you’ve wanting to try since forever, but never daring to do so, believing that your body was unbefitting of such style—and quickly, you moved on.

Your gaze didn’t linger much on it beyond a few mere seconds, certainly not for Suguru to notice, or so you considered…

But when the next day comes, a package is suddenly delivered at Shoko’s apartment, with your name on it, that by various personal reasons you open with great anticipation, growing distraught when seeing it had to do nothing with what you projected—

Quickly flustered upon realizing that the sender was Suguru all along, demonstrating his attentiveness by gifting you the same dress you saw last night, as well as his intentions of seeking something more with you.

“I enjoyed our time together. I wish to see you again—hopefully with this dress.”

You didn’t think you were too obvious when it came to your reaction, but at Shoko’s mention, you finally acknowledge you’ve been smiling, heart loudly pounding against your chest as you lovingly held the dress, moved by his gesture…

For when was the last time someone had gifted you something to your liking, without having to beg for it? Without having to justify why you wanted it?

…

Had it really been that long?

Just what else was missing in your relationship with Naoya…?

Or perhaps, not wanting to face?

…

Your feelings, to begin with.

Because as attentive and caring Satoru and Suguru had been, neither were courageous enough to acknowledge the situation that put you in their reach in the first place, opting to instead reap the benefits, but ignore the rest.

It wasn’t malicious, not at all. It’s been stated by now that they truly cared for you, always checking in on you whenever possible.

It’s just that… they didn’t feel comfortable doing so yet, believing they were far from appropriate, or close enough, to do so.

Judging by those characteristics, the only one worthy enough, and the one that would end up confronting you for that matter, was Nanami, who wanted to see you as soon as he found out the horrible situation Naoya had forced you to but struggled to do so thanks to his strenuous new job.

But once he was free, the first thing he did was call you, eventually meeting in Shoko’s apartment (she was gone for the day, for privacy matters, how convenient) and thus, everything else unfolded.

“Why are you even dating Naoya if he’s hurting you so much?”

“I—I don’t think that’s for you to discuss.” You objected, going through a roller coaster of emotions, a combination of unwillingness to speak of the matter, and fear of admitting the truth.

To talk about something like this was never an easy matter, more so when the situation was already deep in hot water…

Yet, his assertive nature didn’t come as a surprise to you anymore, nor permitted you to avoid it.

Nanami had always been this way, the one willing to speak about difficult things, rip the bandage, careless if you were prepared for it or not.

And let everything that is meant to happen, happen.

“My relationship is something only I should speak about! And when I feel ready for it…”

“Not when I see how much it’s hurting you.” He rebutted. “When was the last time you were genuinely happy at his side? Or where you didn’t have to sacrifice your personal life just to keep him happy?”

It’s obvious what he’s referring to—Nanami is another one of your friends you’ve lost contact with due to Naoya’s�� jealousy. But different from Satoru and Suguru, he cared too much to just let you go, consistently reaching out to you whenever possible—even when you never answered.

“You don’t know what we agreed on—”

“I don’t think that losing your friends was part of that.”

“You don’t know him, you don’t know Naoya at all!’

“And you do?” Nanami counters, breath hitching at your throat, upset by his abruptness. “You once said Naoya was crude, but he’d never do anything to willingly hurt you—and yet, here you are, in an open relationship you clearly didn’t want.”

“Kento—that’s—” your voice trembles, his words too close for comfort. “That’s not—"

“Then why? Why do you keep tolerating him?” Nanami frowns. “Do you hate yourself that much?”

“What? No!” You shake your head, aghast by his accusation. “That’s not it, at all!”

“Then what is it, Y/N? What could possibly entail sticking around with a man that has done nothing but hurt you?”

“Stop it…”

“Seeing other women while still being with you? Is that your idea of a good relationship?”

“Kento, please—”

“It’s never my intention to offend you, but I can’t help believing you’re growing desperate—seeking for something you can’t have with him! So why? Why do you try so hard to make it work, when he clearly doesn’t deserve—"

“Because I don’t want to be alone, ok?!” You eventually shriek, tears in your eyes as his words stung your heart too deeply, too much to handle in silence anymore. “It’s just as simple as that!”

Nanami’s eyes widen, taken aback by your unexpected outburst and confession, yet, as surprised as he was, if not bothered, he was also very, greatly hurt by its meaning.

Your words unknowingly disregarding everyone else that had ever been there for you.

And such, he cannot believe it. He doesn’t—not when he’s been there all along.

“Don’t lie to me, Y/N.” Nanami insists. “What is the truth? Is he forcing you to this??”

“No, Kento, he’s not!” you objected. “I truly want to be with him, because he’s the only one that has ever wanted to be with me.”

“You know very well that’s not true.”

“Seems like our perspectives vary greatly.” You frown. “I remember attempts of trying to get close to people, only to be pushed to the side when someone better came along. Person after person, they all just… ignored me; either because I was overshadowed by my family, or because I was too mundane to compete with others.

Until… Naoya came along. He was the only one that saw me for who I was. Even though it was mostly because I fit the mold he wanted.

But even then… I was happy to play along, because it meant that for the first time in my life, I meant someone to something.”

“That’s what you think? That you didn’t mean anything to no one else?”

“It’s not what I think—It’s what I know.” You sniffle, doing your best to hold back the tears pooling in your eyes from falling. “…Even now I know I’m only relevant because I’m Naoya’s girlfriend… but once that’s gone, I’m sure no one will look my way—"

“That’s not true.” He swiftly interjects.

“…And how would you know that? How would you know that this time, fate wouldn’t be cruel to me, like it has always been?!”

“Because there is someone that cares for you.”

“Let me guess, my parents.”

“No—I didn’t mean them.” Nanami frowns.

“Then who—” you breathe. “Who are you referring to??”

And suddenly, thanks to his softening eyes and growing silence… something clicks in your mind and all makes sense.

His anger, his protectiveness, his insistence…

There was a reason behind them all, only now does it become clear to you.

“…Why didn’t you say anything?” you softly ask, heart sinking when looking back at the dismissive way you treated him, always standing by your side, and yet…

“Because you seemed happy with Naoya.” Nanami adds. “Perhaps I was at fault too, for not having spoken of my feelings before, but… after seeing the way you smiled with him, I supposed it was for the best if I instead, supported you as a friend.

But because I’m your friend, I can’t allow you to go on thinking no one has ever cared for you. That no one has loved you for who you are… or will never do.

And most importantly, remind you that this—this isn’t what happiness looks like.”

At his open declaration, you couldn’t stop the wave of overwhelming emotions from washing over you, a combination of shock, sadness, and perhaps… longing, wondering what would’ve happened if you knew of his feelings back then.

Would you have accepted them? Or would everything continue as it does now?

Well, one thing is for sure—Nanami would’ve never suggested something like this; the thought wouldn’t even cross his mind!

But it’s too late now. You’ve made your decision and now, you were suffering the consequences…

However, you didn’t have to be alone anymore—and Nanami would reassure you of such by the following words, the same one’s he wished to have told you back then… and possibly save you from all this pain.

“I love you, Y/N. I always did, and I’ll always do. Even if we never see each other again—you’ll always remain in my heart.”

Because he would rather die than to make decisions that hurt you.

Leading you to unwittingly discover what it was to feel loved, for the first time in your life.

A heartwarming sensation, with no strings attached, just… someone that wishes your well-being above everything else, alongside your happiness, and nothing more.

And such, something grows inside you, something that pushes you to be closer to him, far beyond this day—

Coincidentally, he’s also the first one you kiss.

After Nanami’s visit, your days would slowly become brighter, although the grey cloud of Naoya’s seeming infidelity still lingered in the background.

But even then, your mind didn’t dwell on him for long, difficult to do so thanks to Satoru’s, Suguru’s, and now, Nanami’s interventions, as well as Shoko’s advice of enjoying the best of your new status.

The men involved didn’t seem to mind… too much.

Sure, their jealousy would sometimes rise to the occasion (from one person in specific) but as long as you continued to be attentive with them, they were willing to “share”, believing it was only a matter of time before you left that jerk-of-a boyfriend of yours once and for all, settling for on them instead.

Long story short, everything seemed to go on peacefully with your new routine…

Until the sudden appearance of a man you never expected to see, less set his eyes on you, since the only time you’ve seen him was that one instance you became acquainted with him thanks to Naoya’s business, never to speak again, disrupted all you held true.

While you might’ve seen this moment as expendable, forgettable even, to him, it was the fated day he knew he must have you—a growing desire to make you his when the time was right.

Naoya’s stupidity opening that door.

Sukuna was the owner of a rival company, a fierce competitor that always made the Zen’in uneasy whenever mentioned, constantly keeping them on their toes—because with a man as belligerent as him, to let their guard down, if just for the slightest, meant the complete loss of all they’ve worked for.

It’s safe to say that Sukuna had garnered the reputation of being aggressively intimidating, thus it was only right to assume that his approach would be of the same nature.

“I—I can’t” is what little you manage to muster through the fear constricting your throat; you still remember the eeriness you felt when meeting him that one time, never believing it could worsen… until you had him just a few feet away.

“I wasn’t asking.” He responds, the tone in his voice not only highlights his sincerity, but also warns you there won’t be a second chance.

Urging you to do what’s best for you, less…

Perhaps out of fear of experiencing his anger, some kind of retribution, or because deep inside, past your worry and hesitation, you were genuinely intrigued to know what a man like him might’ve found interesting in you… you accept.

Because after all was said and done, he was far different to what you were normally accustomed to…

As well as to willing to bargain for.

You don’t know what it was—maybe it was your blinding intrigue, your desire to taste something way beyond your reach… or because you took Shoko’s words a bit too literally, even though with him, she insisted you to be careful…

You ended up following Sukuna into his apartment; And not only that, but you also let him show you what true desire meant, in more ways than one, sure to never forget.

“Su—Sukuna—!” you’d breathe, whatever little you could muster through the tightening of your chest and the fuzziness of your mind, harshly gripping his arms, as he pushes you over the edge and into your release for what seemed to be the nth time that night. “Sukuna, please—I need—I need a break—”

“No—you will take it!” he groans, holding your waist and keeping you in place as his cock deep into your core, each time harsher than the last one, bruising that spot that always made you see stars over and over again; unexpectedly, a place that Naoya was all too ignorant of, Sukuna being amongst the few, if not the only, to achieve such feat.

No wonder you were reacting the way you were, losing yourself in pleasure, because just as he teased…

“This is the first time you’ve ever been with a real man, isn’t it?” He laughs when feeling you quiver against his hold, feeble against the sensations he’s relentlessly giving you, finding your numbing reaction, eyes rolling to the back of your head, mouth agape, and toes curling… to be quite adorable.

Doing all in his power to get more of this reaction—hopefully, beyond this night too.

“They simply don’t make the cut! —But how could they? With a cunt as lewd as yours, one isn’t enough!”

Sukuna doesn’t find satisfaction in seeing you with other men, less when you’re still “taken”.

But ever the one to seek advantage, even in the most uneven of fields, Sukuna was quick to see the endless possibility this opportunity provided—more than ready to exploit them…

“Don’t—don’t say that!” you’d moan, with such an exciting cry, Sukuna just couldn’t help prolonging this night. “That’s not—that’s not tru—ah!”

And keep you all for himself.

“I don’t want you staying at that hideous apartment anymore.” Sukuna would mutter the moment you opened your eyes; having fallen asleep soon after the strenuous ordeal, and suffering from its aftermath as soon as conscious.

“It’s not… nasty.” You groan, slowly blinking as you look back at him, doing your best to push yourself up from the bed, only to fall back down when resulting too weak to do so. However, even when dealing with the sharp pains across your body alongside unbearable drowsiness, you’re capable enough to defend Shoko. “…It’s a nice place.”

He chuckles.

“Yeah, I’m sure it is.” Sukuna then reaches over to the nearby bedside table, sliding the first drawer open and taking out a pair of keys which he’d give over to you soon after.

You look at it perplexedly, confused as to their meaning… before growing shocked, slumber completely gone from your body when listening the following statement.

“From now on, you’re staying in my apartment.”

“Wh—what?” First that, and now, this? Sukuna meant no joke when it came to you. “No, I can’t accept this!”

“You sure love making me repeat myself, woman.” He scoffs. “It’s not a matter of whether you can or cannot—you will.”

It’s an amazing talent of Sukuna to always sound threatening even when dealing with the most ordinary of things, but either way, you’re not interested in testing how far his limits went, and thus, (not that you had any other option) you accept the keys while silently wondering what the future holds for you by making this decision…

“Uraume will help you move your things. I better see you here when I come back after work—less you wish to be punished again.” He smirks, fingers sliding along your skin before pulling you close to him once more, a whine escaping your lips as you realize what is to transpire next yet again.

Guess you’ll find out soon enough.

…

As well as what Naoya’s been up to, for the day Sukuna allowed you to, you decide to go back to your shared apartment to pick up a few things to take with… him, now that you’re essentially living together.

It was a very awkward arrangement, if you thought about it, one that Shoko was strictly opposed to, but… well, you would be lying if you didn’t admit you were having a good time (outside of the painful pleasures he pushed you through every night) for a plethora of luxurious reasons. Far nicer than what you were used to seeing with Naoya.

Which you could openly enjoy due to Sukuna’s absence, rarely getting to see him due to work commitments, Uraume representing him instead… not that it was any better, for they were just as awkward as awkward can get.

And yet, not as much as what happened when you walked through the door of your shared apartment with Naoya, welcomed by the one person you did not expect to see there, believing him to be completely enraptured in his new freedom, given the silence he always responded with whenever you texted or called him.

“Naoya?” You asked, although confused, you were more… shocked to see his distraught appearance, almost as if he hadn’t been able to sleep for the last few days—or at all.

“What are you doing here?” you add. “I thought… well, I thought you’d be… somewhere else.”

“I can say the same thing about you.” He frowns. “Is it true that you’re staying with that woman?”

“Her name is Shoko…” you murmur; even when away, Naoya remains…

Either way, given his attention on her, it seems like he doesn’t know about Sukuna, yet.

Or Gojo.

Or Geto.

Or Nanami.

Because if he did, it would’ve been the first thing he mentioned; his jealous nature never one to take as a jest.

Unless…

“But yes, I am staying with her.” You confirm. “What about… you? Where have you been staying?”

… and still, you can’t help but worry for him.

“Here.” He confesses, you blink.

“…Really?” Even when skepticism is evident in your voice, he doesn’t not say anything else. Instead…

“Yes. And… it’s time for you to come back home.”

“Why? What happened?” you fret, naturally fearing the worst…

Which you were right in assuming, just that… it wouldn’t be what you expected.

“You—you had enough fun.” Naoya unwittingly stammers, a scowl on his face, or was it sorrow? As he continued. “It’s time for you to remember you’re mine and come back home.”

“Enough… fun?” You slowly repeat, invertedly hurt by his words, as if he weren’t the one that set up this situation in the first place, yet, still overwhelmingly confused as to what he meant.

Suspicion that perhaps he did know about your flings after all begins to settle in your mind, but it isn’t until his following words that it finally takes roots.

“Don’t hide it, Y/N—I know you’ve seen others. And quite frequently too!”

“You’re… you’re doing the same thing.” You immediately respond, scurrying to defend yourself. “And you don’t see me complaining…”

Even if you wanted so much to do so.

“No, of course not—too busy with them, aren’t you??”

“Excuse me? You’re—You’re one to talk! You never answered any of my texts, or calls!” you gasp. “Do you even know how… how…”

Hurt I was?

Guessing by his absence, you assume not.

… Oh, how you wished Naoya kept silent. Kept his words to himself and went on acting as he always did, because maybe, you wouldn’t have felt this burning anger stirring inside you, created by the reassurance by those around you, the reminder that you were still deserving of being cared for, appreciated.

Far more than what Naoya has ever done for you in the past few years.

That much you see now.

“… Let me get this straight, Naoya… you want me to come back… because you don’t want me to see others, even though you did the same thing??” you say, and by the gloomy look in Naoya’s eyes, you could tell you guessed right, stinging a nerve while in the process.

Yet not a sentiment that insulted him, but rather… reminded him of the shocking truth he’s keeping away from you.

Hoping it stays that way, unless you place the pieces together yourself.

“Do not talk to me like that.” He warns, you frown.

“I’m just stating the truth—you went to see someone as soon as you left that day, didn’t you?”

“That’s not—why does it even matter at this point? You did the same afterwards!”

“Again with that—You were the one that suggested it in the first place!” you gasp. “Why does it bother you so much?? Didn’t you…. Weren’t you encouraging me to it?!”

“Yeah, but it’s not like I expected you to actually—”

Realizing the imprudence of his words, he suddenly goes silent.

“Expected to actually… what?” you frown.

Naoya doesn’t answer, all he does is scoff before looking away.

A few more seconds of silence, something clicks in your mind.

Anger finally taking a hold of your emotions.

Because just how foolish could you have been?

“Please, come back.” Is what Naoya eventually says. “I don’t want an open relationship anymore—let’s just forget about this and… move on.”

“And why would I do that?” you scowl. “Don’t you have other dates to go to?”

…

Silence yet again.

“Naoya?”

“I don’t. I… never did.”

The truth jolts you far more than you imagined, for it completely contradicts all that you once believed to be true, replacing the pain you’d been feeling since that day, the tears, the anger, and all your actions… with nothing.

As if everything you suffered… was void of any true meaning.

But that was only one point of view, you had yet to see Naoya’s. The truth as to why he hadn’t gotten any dates.

Or at least… successful ones.

Naoya did go out with women that caught his interest, having his go-to procedure ready to go when it came to impressing them, such as taken them to an expensive restaurant, gifting them luxurious jewelry, or simply showing off the privilege his family name provided— things he was sure would get him in their pants.

But when he thought it was only a matter of seconds before he got lucky, they would coldly ignore him, turn around, and… disappear.

It was difficult for him to understand why that happened, considering all that he “offered” …

What he failed to realize, though, is that one simple yet big problem stood between him and his ultimate goal: a personality many weren’t willing to tolerate, especially with the intensity he seemed to go on about, no matter the amount of riches he represented.

And soon, it wouldn’t take long before rumors of his personality began to spread into the circles he was involved in, not like it wasn’t happening already beforehand, Naoya was already well-known as a bratty heir with an equally explosive temperament—he just became more… popular.

Rumors he never had issues with, unbothered by them, because you… well, you seemed to not care for them. Willingly tolerating him instead, perhaps far more than he was deserving of, and keeping by his side, no matter what.

Giving him a false sense of confidence.

Unfortunately, he wouldn’t come to realize this until seeing you with someone else—whispers and sightings of your dates, far more successful than any of his attempts, and without even trying, was enough to ignite a fire under his ass and come rushing to you.

Falsely believing it was just a matter of calling it off for everything to return as it was—you by his side, and his blinding jealousy effectively gone. Because only he deserved to have you.

Failing to realize the damage he’s already struck onto this relationship,

Yet, he still came back, shamelessly expecting he’d be received with the forgiveness, compassion and care you unconditionally provided, no matter the gravity of his mistakes…

But what seemed noble, prophetic even, for him—

Was only insulting to you, and when the nature of his actions reveals itself to you, your anger transforms intofury.

Because a man like Naoya shouldn’t have the freedom to openly discard you, and then want you back when things aren’t going his way—without facing consequences.

You were not there to be a steppingstone of sorts, be there through every single step of the road, sacrifice your life… only to be replaced just because he wants.

It was painful, it was unjust…

And it was unpunished.

For him to make it up for you, he’ll have to face the repercussions of his acts, experience just how much you suffered…

Only then, would you consider going back to him.

“I’m sorry, but I have things to do.”

“What?” Naoya’s eyes widen. “What do you mean you have things to do, Y/N? What could you…—you’re going to see someone.”

“And what if I am?” you frown. “I’m not doing anything I’m not allowed to do.”

“I don’t want this anymore!” He gasps. “I don’t want you to see anyone else, just me!”

“…Then you’ll just have to wait until I’m done. Until I’m sure we belong together, you know? You said so yourself, I just need to get it out of my system before I make a decision—” At being served a spoonful of his own medicine, the color in Naoya’s face disappears. “Only then, will I’ll come back.”

If you ever do.

“Y/N—Wait!”

Because after what you have planned for the following weeks, Naoya would only be lucky if you even do as little as think of him.

Shoko is the one that let everyone know of your new "single" life. Except Sukuna, that man has ears everywhere, and when he saw it as his moment, he rose to the occasion. Nice.

Not gonna lie, this idea has been on my mind for a while now, like, as soon as Y/N is single people begin to hound her. Everyoneeeeeeeee Naoya really does not realize the stupidity he committed until it's too late. :)

And there you have it, my take on an open relationship with him! I once read that open relationships don't work, unless you're talking about celebrities, and I'm honestly inclined to accept that...

But yeah, him doing this is like the worst thing Naoya could think of; there's just so many things that could go wrong—safe to say, in another universe 1) Naoya would never suggest it. 2) Y/N would never accept it lol.

Anyways, thank you so much for sending in this ask! I hope it was to your liking :> ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Take care, and hope to see you soon!

#ask #naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x you #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk x you #prompt series: jujutsu kaisen

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sidecast-text · 4 months ago

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hey your tags abt project hail mary on that one post were fascinating can you pleeaseeee elaborate :3. the white saviorism & consent ones…. that book took my brain over for a month and im still in its clutches every now and then

HI HELLO YES OF COURSE

(disclaimer: i just love sci fi and literature and took a sociology module this year i am Not a media scholar this is just my personal analysis of this book)

Project Hail Mary was a really intriguing read for me because I went into it somewhat cynically, you know? I really like Andy Weir's writing, but from the moment it became apparent that this is another book in first person about a guy stuck alone in space I was fully expecting for the style and tone to match the Martian. After finishing it, I think he clearly managed to separate Mark Watney from Ryland Grace, mostly by their general attitudes but also with the situations they are getting put in. Watney is an astronaut, he knows what he is doing, and he has (sort of) been trained for the crisis he is in. Grace has no idea who is or why he is in the Tau Ceti system and this memory loss trope is exploited audience for loop after loop.

Spoilers under the readmore because honestly going in blindly is the best way to read Project Hail Mary in my opinion GO READ IT GO NOW

So. We figure out who Grace is, why he is 12 light years away from Earth, what he has to do: he has to save Earth from a major extinction event by sacrificing his own life. The rest of his crew died while they were in comas for the voyage, so the entire fate of humanity is resting exclusively on his shoulders. This is where I kind of heaved a sigh. At least it's not a twelve year old saving the world, but it is a white American man. This plays into the white saviour trope stemming from colonialism in the 15th-16th century, wherein concepts such as humanity and civilisation are values inherently tied to whiteness, exclusively possessed by white societies and must be spread to "uncivilised" areas through colonialism. Overall its an ethno- and eurocentric way of thinking that views the image of the white man as cleaner, better, more educated, et ceatera. This bias remains present in Western society and therefore in our media as well, in the form of the aforementioned white saviour trope, which I had expected Project Hail Mary to unintentionally cater to.

In the case of Project Hail Mary, Grace must be the saviour of humanity by journeying through space. The book makes references to Arthur C. Clarke's 2001: A Space Odyssey, and you can see the general similarity in the premise of both stories: men are sent on a voyage further into space than ever before with varying certainties of return. While the men abroad the USSC Discovery know they will be placed into cyro-freeze and retrieved by another mission in the vague future, the crew of the Hail Mary have no such hopes. They are sent out into space at nearly light-speed with no fuel for a return trip. Hail Mary plays with the trope of the traveler changed by his journey by making return both figuratively and physically impossible for Grace. As readers, we assume he was aware of this when setting out.

The audience also assumes that Grace is on the Hail Mary mission because he volunteered. He is set up as feeling great responsibility for his students and the children of the world, so although we are not shown for a long time why he decided to volunteer for the Hail Mary, we assume that at some point he must have, since we are tied to his first person perspective and he assumes the same. We keep on waiting for some sort of eureka moment in his flashbacks when he realises what he must do and with newfound conviction pledges his life to save humanity. We find out that he was not the first choice for the mission's science specialist; he wasn't even the second. The book introduces Shapiro and Du Bois, and as the audience we know that they will either die before the launch or be incapacitated in such a way that Grace is forced to step up. Again, I was rolling my eyes here. Somehow, Grace had to be switched into Du Bois's place, changing the intended protagonist from a black man to a white one, and I thought somewhat begrudgingly that if the author acknowledges that it could have been Du Bois who saves Earth, then why not just write it as so? After all, all the accidents and consequences through the story are conscious choices by the author. Why does it need to be the white man who bravely steps up and declares that he will sacrifice his life? I felt that there were biases in the writing and in the choice to portray the white man as the brave, lonely hero who will die for the greater good in the far depths of space, alone, afraid, and without complaint.

The actual reveal of the circumstances that landed Grace on the Hail Mary is expertly teased and foreshadowed. We see from the start that Ryland Grace isn't a particularly courageous man. He leaves his academic field after his paper is badly received, he surrounds himself with students who are easy to impress and who idolise him, he doesn't seek out relationships or even friendships because he fears rejection. He throws up in zero g, is not used to space travel, he's queasy around the idea of self administered death and generally lacks the brave enthusiasm and commitment that other astronauts in his flashbacks are shown to have.

So when we find out that Grace is actually a sort of coward, it all falls into place. Stratt gives him the option of joining the Hail Mary mission after Shapiro and Du Bois die, and Grace presents an obviously weak excuse and it's painful to read because the eureka moment we were waiting for never comes. I was personally thinking "wait a second, this isn't how it's supposed to go". But it also makes sense, after all, Stratt is asking him to go die in space and he's a high school teacher.

Stratt is also set up as someone who always gets what she wants. She is legally exempt from any consequences; she could kill a man and she would be pardoned since pulling together the project that will save Earth is her responsibility. She is ruthless, but as a readers we think that Grace is safe from her decree; he's her right hand, and furthermore Captain Yao is adamant that no one be forced to join the mission. If Grace decides to go, it must be on his own. Up until the last moment, we expect Grace to experience sudden onset character growth, to stop when he reaches for the door-handle and to overcome his cowardice and to say "yes, I will go, I will die for Earth".

And it doesn't happen. At this point I was texting all my friends "i am gouing to throw up". It is revealed that Grace was only given the illusion of a choice. In hindsight, it makes sense; he was given no choice about joining the project to begin with or at any step in the process. Stratt was hoping that he would choose to join, but when he refuses it the carpet is immediately pulled from under his feet and it becomes apparent that he has had no agency at all since meeting her. He has been set up and manipulated to be the second backup for the role of the science specialist on board of the Hail Mary by being placed with Shapiro and Du Bois and learning to use space equipment under the guise of testing it. He was kept close to Stratt, so he would always be at hand. Even more terrifying, Stratt has a way to work around Yao's demands. She has Grace drugged so he forgets that he is on board involuntarily and he is heavily sedated until launch.

This is what I meant by saying that Grace's autonomy is entirely taken away. Thorough the entire book, he is dragged and ordered around by Stratt's men, and now he is drugged and forced into a coma. His violation goes to the extreme; not only is he not allowed to say no, he is also not allowed to Remember wanting to say no.

Overall, Grace is a really interesting character to me. He is faced with a situation where only he can do what must be done and instead of rising up to the challenge he pleads and begs for someone else to be chosen. The book completely and satisfyingly flips the white saviour trope on its head. The protagonist is so against the idea of self-sacrifice that he threatens to doom Earth by self-sabotage if he is sent into space. Grace is not a bad person, but he has accepted that other people will take care of the crisis, that other people must die and that is the way things must be. It reminds me of Omelas; it is impossible to walk away, so how do we each accept the world that we live in? Grace accepts that three people must be sent to die in space in order for the rest of the Earth to have a chance of survival, but he thinks of that sacrifice as something that unquestionably happens to others. This echoes the contemporary state of affairs more closely; Western society is upkept by Eastern and Southern labour. We are aware of this, but still benefit from it.

Ultimately, Grace rises to his task and manages to save humanity. He could even return to Earth, but he doesn't. That's the part I think about the most. The journey changes and improves Grace, to the point where he does choose to sacrifice himself in order to save Rocky and Erid. We can ask what happened to make him more willing to save an alien world than he was to save his own. He does have a real choice, he could return to Earth and experience no consequences for leaving Rocky behind. I think the reason is that Grace has changed, yes, but Earth has changes as well in his eyes. Earth violated him, and in way exiled him, ruling through the figure of Stratt that his life was expendable.

First I thought the ending was cheap, but I've been thinking about it for days and I am coming around. It's just!!! I haven't formed concrete thoughts about it but God. God Fuck UGH. It's been 26 years on Earth. His students are grown and up his knowledge is probably archaic by now. His use for humanity has been expended. I am in pain. Would you crawl back home if the value of your life had been dismissed. Would Odysseus go home if he knew no one was waiting for him. I'm going to be sick.

#wow. 1800 words #as you can tell i have a lot of feelings about this and about sci fi in general #project hail mary #project hail mary spoilers #media analysis #nick reads #nick writes #asks

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