#im high right now so no hate
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#ok this photo is kind of a nightmare i know but hear me out#im high right now so no hate#but i just#i love that they’re still just straight up weird guys#like. they are so strange still#even after how hard hollywood hit rob lmao they’re still#offputting but in a good way#like they’re posing for a photo like they’re annoying their whiskey guy#which they probs are#stupid it makes me happy smashing my head into a wall#thoughts
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:-P
#me: ive gotta read so fucking much by monday if i dont wanna look like a fucking idiot in my lab meeting monday#also me: if i dont draw maid sanji right fucking now im gonna puke#can u tell what my 2nd favorite shojo was in high school? many scenes still live rent free in my head#clannad was my 1st fave btw lol#also. god i kno i say this on every sanji post but i think abt him so much ever sing day#she is my absolute favorite babygirl. i hate him. i want her to suffer forever#female sanji#me in 2014: what if girl sanji? me in 2024: what if girl sanji???#vinsmoke sanji#sanji#roronoa zoro#zosan#one piece
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The De Nile sisters!
#monster high#monster high fanart#cleo de nile#nefera de nile#monster high gen 1#monster high redesign#artist on tumblr#character design#been working on this for days i needed to hurry up and post it before i started to hate it#this isnt meant to be a redesign of the two pack btw it just made me want to draw them together so i could figure out their styles#it is interesting tho cuz i gave cleo triangle theming and nefera diamond theming#but the two pack does the opposite which made me feel weird#but now i think im right since nefera's cheek gem is literally a diamond#anyway i wanted cleo to have a more casual style where nefera's is always elegant 100% of the time#i know all the mh ghouls are always overdressed but with nefera its on a different level#i might reblog with some more info on how i reimagined them story wise#but for now i'll just say that cleo is in her final year of high school (basically she's 17/18) and nefera is the equivalent of 21/22#my art#sabz art#EDIT: you can tell i haven't posted in a while cuz i completely forgot to add an ID!!#i was wondering why posting this was so quick#its because i was being a forgetful asshole!!! so#id in alt
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when did anons get nuked 😟
they wouldnt stop spoiling deadpool 3 and now i've seen it but kept anon off to prolong the punishment so they feel it
#sci speaks#i'm kind of glad i have anon off at the moment. i know i'd be getting so many bad deadpool takes in there right now.#im seeing so many bad deadpool takes on the internet at large right now#i hate when i bad piece of deadpool or spider-man media is released because i go through the inevitable motions of#“they dont know them like i do” and i hate being like that#i think its a curse having hyperfixations that are so high profile but only because of like. bad movie adaptations.#they're otherwise obscure. and with wade wilson who has. so few actually good adaptations actually. its nearly impossible to find#a good faith deadpool fan who doesnt just like him because hahaehehe he says fuck in the movie#did you hear that he said fuck! thats so smart and subversive because usualy... superhero dont say fuck.
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cold world out there, kids, grab your coats
#ray's tag#ava victim#victim ava#animator vs animation#ava fanart#keys' art#undescribed#i'd like to thank this song for getting me through my freshman year of high school#anyways i like making these posters. especially of the sticks- anatomy is a bitch and i hate it and it's way easier to just . Lines#yknow?#because let me tell you right now i do NOT have the energy to fight torsos every time i pick up my phone to draw.#procreate halftone tool you will always be famous#but uh. yeah. been thinking about victim lately. their actions make So Much Sense when u remember their history#im gonna eat lunch now byebye!#the fucking stick figures
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I be the king of terrible word choice and sentence formation and my court jesters are dyslexia and social anxiety.
#im so bad with words and cause misunderstandings every time i try to communicate with anyone on this app#this is why i never interact with yall 😭😭#something is wrong with me and i am terrible with words#anxious bc damn how many people here absolutely hate me just because i fucked up wording on something and it put them so off#that they squint when they see my url cross their dash#or am i just freaking out bc im extremely anxious about everything right now#who knows i dont really get clarification on these things even when i try 😭😭😭😭#im logging out and getting super high and playing video games
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okay lol mini rant in the tags sorry i just HAD to get this off my chest 😭 sorry if this is very incoherent and poorly worded or structured or whatever i'm just. pretty out of it and i cannot really think to write this properly. well, that or i am probably just illiterate actually. Yeah that's it lol
#why are friendships so complicated#in my last year of senior high school at an all girls school#i transferred last year#and it's just cliques left and right#they all hate each other#i'm the type of person who can vibe with all of them even if their personalities are very very different#i am kind of friends with everyone in the sense that i can find common ground and have interact comfortably and enjoyably#my friend group from grade 11 (theyve been friends w each other for so long and i was the newcomer) dissolved this year bc things went down#i dont know the full extent of what happened#but those five friends split and three have merged with another group#the group that isolate my other two friends and seem to not like them#at least the “leader” of the group anyway. Not so sure about the rest#and now i am stuck in the middle lol. I have other friends from other groups but they have their own groups#the three girls already have each other and the new group (it's kind of a mix of me excluding myself on purpose and them not including me#in things presumably bc i am still “close” with my other two friends they don't like#it is a weird dynamic because me and the other group the three other girls merged with can vibe with each other#we can laugh with each other and enjoy each others company when theyre not talking shit (they rarely do it in front of ppl so i havent rlly#seen the full extent of it)#and also my two other friends are obviously closer to each other than with me since theyve been friends for way longer#i remember i had a conversation with one of my friends from the three girls that split away#it was something like i have to tell the class this and that etc since im the president#and i am not a very assertive person i am also very scared of being disliked. I told her i didn't want the class to hate me and she said#“everybody likes you you are friends with everyone”#it really doesn't feel that way. why do i feel like secretly they are talking shit#again i dont even know why we split up#but now i am just. Stuck in the middle#the thing is ive never even heard my other three friends talk shit and do nasty stuff with the new group/the main clique of the class#i havent seen the bad side to anything that i hear whispers about because ive never seen it#i havent been subjected to it either#i feel like i am wrong about a lot of things but i am just. blind or too deep into my people pleasing tendencies to not realize shit
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//NOW I KNOW WHY IT HAS SELF-HATRED TAGGED ON IT
#🌊 | outside the ship / ooc#[ IT MATCHES WITH MY HEADCANONS IM WEEPING RIGHT NOW ]#[ HIGH TIDE MY BABY BOY PLEASEEE YOU ARE MORE THAN CAPABLE OF BEING A SIRE / CARRIER ]#[ DONT HATE YOURSELF BECAUSE OF YOUR HEAVY ARMOR BUILD I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHHH ]#[ RAHHHH IM DESTROYED ALREADY ]
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you guys i love college so much
#i hate assignments.#BUT LIKE HOLY SHIT I THANK GOD EVERY DAY THAT IM NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL#im an adult who is alive and has a life and does things as an adult and gets treated as an adult and i get to pick my own classes and#i can buy myself things if i want to.... and im active in my club and we're going to travel to another school to compete#I GET TO TRAVEL TO ANOTHER SCHOOL TO COMPETE AND HAVE A TEAM BONDING THING AND DO LONG ROAD TRIPS ABOUT IT#AND MY SPORT OF CHOICE IS LITERALLY LYING#IM IN MOCK TRIAL CLUB AS A WITNESS. I SIT AROUND COMFORTABLY AND WATCH THE LAWYERS DO THEIR THING AND THEN I SOUND SYMPATHETIC ON STAND#ITS SO#it's really fun.#and also i get along with my siblings so much better now that i dont live with them#im not getting mad at my sister all the time just because she Makes Sounds. im not getting annoyed with my brother for being argumentative#we just. hang out.#(frequently lmao)#and my mom and i keep going out to eat#and i visit my dad for lunch most weeks#and we all HANG OUT#and . fuck. i love life#and being an adult who gets to live it#and COLLEGE#next semester im going to take a couese on Detective Fiction#and probably get a job or internship to fuel my spending addiction 🤑💰#💸!!!#* AND MY SLEEP SCHEDULE. WOW. FUCK. ITS ALL UP TO ME#AND I DONT HAVE TO GET UP EARLY EVERY MORNING#AAAAAA#my grades aren't fantastic. right. i know they're not. but im not failing any classes. and i get along w my professors.#i like econ a lot more than i expected to
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sorry if I become extra annoying im kinda tweaking over being on my own for the first time sooooo I might let myself become extra indulgent 💔💔💔
#‘aren’t u already super indulgent’ you’d be surprised#everything will be tagged either fanfic bullshit or gayalanwoke if you wanna block 😭#sorry i kinda maybe sorta will be having a moment. for a while.#idk if I can call myself disabled. but like yall know I have diagnosed cptsd and suspected-autism#sooooooo#taking care of myself is. not easy. At all#I can hardly manage with my parents#and now . idk. basically my routine for the past 20 years is being disrupted and im not handling it well#not only that. just.#again like I said taking care of myself in general is really hard#AND I have . college now.#lord 😭#I’ve always been a straight a student in high school and community college right#four months after my cptsd developed? I dropped out of community college 🫠#bc I literally couldn’t handle it#that was last February#now im at a . four year school#so#im tweaking#like actually this time#and since hyperfixations are All Consuming . they are as helpful as they are debilitating yk#so like yes this show/the fic might contribute to education problems. buttttt it’ll also stop me from crashing out!!!!!#so . yeah. yall might be hearing a bit more from me 😵💫#or#I’ll become extremely self conscious and never follow through#sorry#this is so funny I’m freaking out that yall might be angry im posting abt stuff that makes me happy LMFAOAOO#THIS IS LITERALLY ALL IN MY HEAD LMAOOOO#yall: hey gayalanwake! what’s up? cool binder. hey gayalanwake! wanna come over to my house today? :D#me: they alllll hated me 🐺
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Is there any canon info about belphie being able to give people the best dreams (or the worst nightmares) theyve ever had in their lives?
i think a belphie induced dream would feel real to life but everything good would be dialed up to 100. while for nightmares its the same but for everything bad to the point where you can actually feel pain
Anyways I was imagining him giving MC a forehead kiss while theyre napping and they wake up later amazed like
Wow i had the most amazing dream and it was so vivid too....how do i go back?
#ik someone has had to bring this up#if they did pls send the link 🙏🏾#or is this a hc i just made up right now#i slept poorly boo#i was doing so well too#im pretty sure i hated when [redacted] did the kiss while ure sleeping thing but ill let it slide for belphie in this particular post#its for my imaginings....#a good dream for me always involves eating very high calorie food with no consequences#in the belphie induced dream#the food wood taste super legit#like id be shocked when i wake up and realize it was a dream#also i would be meeting so many fictional characters probably#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me belphegor#obey me belphegor x mc#tada
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Really into the episode of Ouran where this girl confesses her love to Mori but he doesn’t feel the same because he’s into Honey and the girl’s reaction is just like YIPPEE I LOVE YAOI THATS SO COOL FOR YOU YAY 🥰
#the klock keeps ticking#ouran high school host club#i watched ouran when i was 13 and repressed ah the classic experience yes yes#and i always said id rewatch but never did. until now cuz im going through something#im like halfway through and yeah id say theres quite a lot that ages like milk lol#like mostly just the way haruhi is treated is just. bad lol#a good thing is i like how haruhi personally feels about their own gender where they really honestly dont fucking care#which was a big relief cuz similar cases will have the ‘secret girl’ character either be really defensive#or you know. be like a naoto where its actually just the most uncomfortable thing ever#but the problem is the way that tamaki and occasionally the twins are like really obsessed with the girl thing#and constantly want haruhi to take on a feminine role cuz that wouldnt threaten their sexuality as much#tamaki in general is written so fucking weird lol and i do remember being based back then and hating him#and i never liked him with haruhi like im sorry hes just the worst option#hes capable of being funny when hes not being weird but I think he still ends up feeling horribly written#like when hes having his DRAMATIC LOVE INTEREST moments they just feel so horribly out of place#and theyre often times just badly aged tropes also the way haruhi is written in relation to the other members is weird#like i can see why theyd like the other characters but ive not really seen any reasons for them to like tamaki#but then the show will just randomly be like ‘oh yes haruhi thinks tamaki is a lovely person’ and its like. ooookay?#its ass lol and im probably preaching to the choir but like. haruhi is way better with a woman right?#i just know some desperate ass bastards have made some haruhi/renge content and i get it#other than that stuff i dont like i will say i enjoy what exists outside of the weird haruhi stuff#i like the characters and the concept is very funny and the episodes where everyone is normal are charming#and you know i gotta appreciate it for the impact it had on lame ass gay people even if the queer content is messy#ouran was just like. what we had for a long time. or at least was the most popular anime that featured queerness in some positive capacity#but also like. as it goes with this stuff once youve gotten to see better representation#you look back and youre like wow. im so fucking glad we can do better than this dogshit 😩
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im such a loser it hurts. i’ve gained a lot of weight over the last year and it makes me hate my body. my job sucks and pays so little i feel ashamed just thinking about it. my grades are bad and my writing is mediocre and devoid of meaning. why do i even exist
#hate hate hate hate myself#when did it all go wrong#though i guess it was never right in the first place#my whole life ive been pulling through by the skin of my teeth. and of course it doesnt look this way#with the impressive list of high ranking schools i studied in and good grades and aced exams#but it never brought me happiness. it was just something i had to do. was supposed to do because i was good enough#and i never enjoyed studying there. it has been a constant nightmare#and now im working the job which is not bad. but being there makes me feel like im actively dying#and yeah. the salary. it Sucks with a capital s#and all my attempts to find a better paying job so far resulted in nothing#i have a good life. i have a nice apartment with a short commute. a loving partner. enough money to live comfortably#so i feel like i shouldnt complain#but the horrors persist through it all#its just been a constant struggle. and whatever i do it doesnt go away#sorry. im upset and tired and my heas hurts#will probably delete this tomorrow#arnold’s laments
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like how do people not realize that doug ford was canadian trump before trump was trump. before 2016. doug’s ALWAYS been a slippery two faced lying POS who’s willing to sell out canada for one corn chip. why are canadians forgetting this. you guys get ONE drop of “canadian patriotism” in your brains and throw logic out the window. your stupid generalized “we’re smarter and better than them/all americans are stupid,” superiority complex over all americans is sending you RIGHT DOWN THE SAME PATH THAT AMERICANS ARE GOING DOWN and you cant even see it!!!
#if i have to see another canadian patriotism tiktok about how ‘wow dougs finally doing good’ and ‘all americans are stupid canada 4ever’ etc#im going to crashout#especially coming from provinces who mocked alberta for ending up like the states in so many wyas#like you bitches are on that same path#and youre too busy patting yourself on the back & posting canadian pride tiktok slideshows to see it#if i started talking about how urban Canadians & especially urban canadians from ontario tend to have a weird superiority compelx over All#americans And over rural canadians/canadians from other provinces#and how that superiority complex is sending them right down the same path as americans#and right down the same path as alberta and sask/the provinces they look down on#then i would get jumped i think. but also.#am i Wrong?#ive said it before but#the experience of living rurally in canada#is far more similar to the experience of living rurally in america#than it is to the experience of living non-rurally in canada#esp in sask and alberta#like ontario & quebec etc always felt like Another Country to me#because of the divide there/growing up being looked down on not only by non-rural people in sask and ab but also from non-rural people in#ontario *and* rural people in ontario#anyway. thats a whole Subject Tm but my point is#so many canadians need to get off of their brosd sweeping high horse#and realize just how much they have in common with the average american#and also isnt me hating on ontario or hating on non-rural people#this is me expressing frustration with a lifetime of being hated on By them &#having the provinces ive lived in (AB and Sask) literally be referred to as ‘texas and alabama’/people talking about how theyre#‘not part of canada/might as well be states’ in a 100% serious way#and excluding us from that supposed united canadian identity that they now want to preach about & take ‘pride’ in against americans#like oh where was this unity and support beofre???#anyway ive hit my tag limit but. theres more nuance to this topic and i just. sigh
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Writing a chemistry report but the expected values and values calculated on excel don't match even tho I entered the exact same numbers
#end me now i hate this class#non of this freaking makes sense and why are the values so freaking high???#i dont even know if its right?? and idk anyone in class to even ask#the prof scares me and 100% sure he thinks im dumb 🤡😭#chemistry#💭 thoughts
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applying to more jobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!haha :))))))))))))))))))
#i guess this isnt too personal but i work in the library field and to be an actual librarian you need a masters degree in library science#(which i dont have yet. i dont even have my bachelors until june)#(but i DO have almost 8 years of public library EXPERIENCE which has to count for something right?)#anyway my hopes are low that i will get any of these jobs and getting lower by the second because they ALL require an mlis#and thats fine! i dont mind working an assistant job until im 40 if thats what it takes#but i just need to FIND ONE#i just need ONE job that pays at least 30k. maybe even at least 25k and i could make that work#im not in a position to move out rn bc im still paying for college which kind of limits my choices#so im trying to keep it together lmao. when i graduate i may still only be able to get a part time but maybe at a high enough wage#and then i can MOVE there and i wont be pissing money into my gas tank#:( i wish i picked a different field#i know i can change my field whenever and i fucking WILL at this point but i need something NOW so i can move out#and all i have is public library experience :(#when i graduate ill start thinking genuinely about alternative fields i could get my foot in but for now im just sad and poor and stuck#i think about how different my life could have gone if i chose literally any other field and it makes me burst into tears#i HATE money. i hate having to fucking worry about this all the time#like i love it (bc i need it desperately) but there is nothing i hate more#well. back to applications :(#im being so dramatic btw. for ref ive literally applied to 2 jobs my entire life and only been rejected to one of them#which happened last month#i do think these people will all reject me but i dont have evidence yet to become all kms about it#im just scared lol
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