#im gonna save those so i never lose them again

[skuntank]

SORRY THIS IS LIKE HITTING ME KIND OF HARD FOR SOME REASON

[a66-1]

starving

part 1 | part 2 [you're here!]

Simon x Fem!Insecure!Reader.

finally got the idea for part 2. excited?

me too

TW: Talk of ed's, negative self talk, low self esteem, bad mouthing (from reader to herself, comes with the territory) cursing, self harm. i tried not to be too descriptive with the reader, so EVERY insecure girlie who reads this feels seen.

semi proofread bc who cares

The next morning was exhausting as the last.

You got up early to go running. If you ever have the chance, you run until the sun comes up. You need to stay fit if you want a boyfriend. It was easier when you were on your meds. Almost like you had the will to live those mornings.

You were back at the house around 8 am. You weren't scheduled for work today so... You headed back to bed and really, just slept the day away

You woke up around 5 pm. 5, really? God, you are just some depressed child.

You got out of bed for the second time, and changed into a dress. It was hard seeing yourself in a dress after 2 years. You stopped going out because alcoholism and anti-depressants aren't really two peas in a pod, are they?

Well this is why you quit. You dropped your therapist and your meds because you were better, and your mom stopped helping with the payments, and now you can go back to partying.

Minus the heavy drinking.

Hopefully.

You tear your eyes off yourself. If you stare too long, you'll end up convincing yourself to stay in bed longer. You configure the rest of your outfit, and grab a small black purse. Throwing your phone in it, you leave the house quicky. If you don't, you might properly convince yourself you're just as ugly as you thought..

The drive to the bar was silent, save from the honking cars around you. Fuck, what if this is the wrong idea? I mean the looks everyone will give you, you look so bad and so ugly and god this was such a bad--

You hear a car honk behind you. The light turned green. You lower your head, sighing, and taking a left.

Once at the bar, you slip into one of the seats nearer the back, feeling uncomfortable in the seat. Adjusting your dress down, you cringe while looking around the bar. There's so many pretty women here, and comparatively you are way under them.

You order a drink, sipping on the alcohol for the first time in months. Fuck, your therapist would be losing it if she knew you not only stopped meds but started drinking again...

You rested your head in your palm, watching others interact. Pretty women just have a way with men, a way you've never had. The buzz of the alcohol was enough to make you not question why nobody has interacted with you, other than the bartender. People probably think your such a loser, I mean, who would just sit here and drink--

"Hey. You're, uh.. That girl from yesterday right?" A gruff voice appears behind you. You flinch forward, whipping your head around.

Oh. This guy.

You slowly put your drink down, your palm over the top of it.

"And who are you?" You ask, eyeing the man. He didn't have his mask on. He was... Really cute.

"A customer." He sat next to me, his eyes trained on mine. I felt sort of flushed under his gaze.

Fuckin' small world.

You spent some of the night talking with him. Still don't know his name, or why you ran into him here, but you don't care nonetheless.

You were looking for sex this night but... Is a connection so bad?

Like you could make a connection with someone who is out of your league.

thank god i finished this. 3 drafts later, and im sorry its kinda short. trust part 3 is gonna have the good stuff, this is kinda a filler so it can get to the good stuff.

ily babes...

-a661

taglist:

@i-am-hungry-24-7 @arminarlertssword @haven-1307

[sirenlulls]

get him back! → theburntchip

pairing , theburntchip x youtuber!reader

summary , where, in lieu of yours and chip’s reconnection, fans find out how it happened, and just why you ended things in the first place.

part one (bad idea, right?)

oh, i wanna get him back! 'cause then again, i really miss him, and it makes me real sad

🔴 Y/n L/n Talks On Breakup, Reconnection, The Launch Of Her Brand, & More! FULL POD EP.77 -Saving Grace

join premiere!

LIVE CHAT !

user: stop i’m actually gonna cry ☹️☹️☹️

user: I KNEW THOSE TWITTER B WORDS WERE WRONG I KNEW THEY DIDNT END BADLY

user: that’s so lala land of them

user: “if i ever complained, i’d be the nagging girlfriend” NO BABY 😭😭😭😭

user: never thought i’d say it but i’m glad they broke up bcs if they hadn’t done it then, it would’ve been MESSY messy

user: off topic but can we please talk about how pretty she is :(

user: “if he ever complained about you, i would’ve given him a belting” YES GRACE 👏👏👏

user: WHY DIDNT WE GET Y/N ON HERE SOONER OMGGGGGG I LOVE THIS DUO SM

user: Sending love from Brazil! XX 🇧🇷🇧🇷❤️❤️

user: stop that’s so sad ☹️

user: she’s so real for the anxiety thing

LIVE CHAT !

user: i feel like i’m watching a tv show

user: “i don’t want to lose this again” and when i start sobbing????

user: ok but is the dick game good

user: HE SWIPED UP ON A COSTA TOASTIE ☠️

user: nah he’s down BAD me too but like 😭

user: he def would’ve thrown a temper tantrum if she didn’t respond

user: grace booing is so real i wanted a kissing in the rain screaming ‘i love you’ confession

user: her smile when she said she’s happy now man they’re literally my parents ☹️

user: Love you both X ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

user: ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

user: the world is healing

user: NAH MAN SWEAR THATS CHIPS BOICE COMING IN NOW

LIVE CHAT !

user: i’m actually gonna cry i missed them sm ☹️😭

user: the camera switching to her looking at him with heart eyes after calling him a bellend is so funny GET HER ASS 👏

user: chip is the new an*rew t*te 🙏

user: oh how i missed him calling her lady and missus

user: he’s the leader of the sassy man epidemic oh lord

user: OMG I FORGOT WHEN SHE YSED TO GO ON COFFEE DATES WITH HIS MUM

user: leave my girl and her spotify playlists alone

user: this has literally made my year

user: just in time for y/n’s fall vids

[tagged: savinggracepod , gkbarry_ , theburntchip]

❤️ liked by georgeclarkeey, georgebxggs, and 98,992 others

yourusername mum! mum! i made it! i’m on saving grace!!!!!! (and i figured i deserved at least one pic of chip from the launch x)

user that episode was the funniest thing ever i can’t even i nearly pissed myself when grace pretended to spank u with the paddle 😭😭😭

user mother ur so gorg i’m speechless

user you know the content is gonna slap when y/n l/n is there

user im so obsessed with u pls

user CAL AND CHIP AT THE FUNCTION SIR 👏🙇‍♀️

user best video in youtube history methinks

gkbarry_ loved having you on babe, even if the boss man gatecrashed 🫶❤️

yourusername he doesn’t like feeling left out smh

theburntchip oh alright then

max_balegde ICONIC!!!!!!

user MY ROMAN EMPIRE

user i hope you know that twt is in flames rn

user i gen teared up a bit when you talked about the breakup 🥹

user icons only

[tagged: ynapparel , nellarose , theburntchip]

❤️ liked by landonorris, behzinga and 97,872 others

yourusername self representing by wearing @ ynapparel the past (and every) week 😩🤭 featuring the love of my life & chip ig…

theburntchip wow alright

theburntchip i thought you were a g 😔

yourusername oops sorry babe

theburntchip we’re over smh

yourusername oh no… what a shame ☹️ anyway… hot girl winter!!!!!!

theburntchip the fits are fire though 😮‍💨

yourusername as always x

user EATING SLAYING DEVOURING

user OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

user forever obsessed with u

user graduated from cuntingtion university with an phd in slaying

nellarose love you bae x

calfreezy chip looking dashing as per usual

theburntchip aye thank you brotha

nellarose AYYYY LOOKING SEXY 🔥🔥🔥🔥

yourusername ALL YOU BABY 💋💋💋

ynapparel looking good and dressed to kill 😉😇🩷

user face card NEVER declines

lissiemackintosh this barbie is my mother

user ur so real lissie

faithlouisak doll 🤩

alice_hez 😍🔥🖤

user WHATS THE SQUARE ROOT OF 64?????

user angel girl 🤍

centralcee 😮‍💨🔥🔥🔥🔥

user NAHHH HES BRAVE COMMENTING ON THE POST W HER BOYFRIEND

user CENCH GET OUTTA HERE MAN

user SIRENSIRENSIREN Y/N BABY RUN!!!!!

user OH??????

user wait am i missing smth why are we freaking out

user @ user cench has always been lowk flirting with y/n, like she interviewed him at some event last yr and he was being so flirty and obviously she was giving him blank wall back BUT when her and chip broke up he got even WORSE like man was always in her comments tryna chat her up and she entertained it a lil but now the bitch is back and he’s bold

user NAH MAN GTFO WE JUST GOT CHIP BACK IN THE PICTURE WE CANT HAVE U RUINING THAT

theburntchip just posted to their story

[therabbitthatpostthings]

Live Arcane Reaction; Act 3:

Ep 7: Thank god the killmonger cut only exist in the hell dimension- don’t let them give you a fuck ass cut Ekko.

Powder my princess- IS THAT VANDER’S FINE ASS

OH MY GOD MILO CLAGGOR!!!

Jayce my princess I never doubted you. I knew the Hexcore fucked you up girl🫶🏾

Goddammit every frame in this show is a painting

VI MY POOKIE BEAR WHY

There is something so heartbreaking about the Bridge of Progress being used as an actual progression between the two cities. An olive branch. What could have been.

Jayce istg they do not want you to be happy-

BRO HE JUST WANTED TO PLAY WITH SOME MAGIC-

“Viktor is the mage” theory you might just have merit

Arcane artists I will see you in HELL for that Viktor/Jayce parallel of them literally building themselves up, morphing their damaged bodies to move forward.

Ekko and Jinx girls enjoy your SCRAPS-

WHAT WE COULD OF BEEN GODDAMMIT! FUCK!!!!!

Actual fucking tears in my eyes- FUCK THEY COULD HAVE BEEN SO CUTE- also the hard cut to Jayce and the Hexcore glitching like TV glitches as the universe breaks down.

MY BOY JUST WANYES TO PLAY IN SOME MAGIC!

Thank god he didn’t die in that universe too I would have crashed out Powder deserves to be- SHE KEPT THE CRYSTAL!?

Ep 8: oh thank god my Pookies is alive- IS ANYTHING SACRED- why the fit kinda eat tho….

I need everyone to understand I was SO happy about Mel being alive that I barely understood anything those mages said. I was just happy my babygirl is alive. GOD THAT MAKES THE FLOWER IMAGERY IN THE OPENING MUCH BETTER.

I just remembered Isha is dead... FUCK HIEMERDINGER DIED TOO 😭

Nooo Vander- NO VIKTOR- nice to know I am not immune to indoctrination.

Huck cannot catch a break omfg

LORIS MY BELOVED 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

Hi traitor- omg Cait cute hairstyle

The divorce is not going well for these two.

Jayce and Mel have not seen each other for god knows how long- DONT FUCKING YELL AT HER JUST CAUSE YOUR SITUATIONSHIP WENT SOUTH!

The throuple is back together and it’s TOXICCCC

I would just like to point out that when Viktor said this all started with Jayce, the parallels between Jayce and Ekko is still going. Like I could on for pages about these two at this point.

Fuck they made this Yaoi TOXIC-

FUCK THEY MADE THIS MAGIC TOXIC- is it wrong still stand by Viktor. Like I know he’s wrong but he’s so fine. Jayce and Viktor’s parallels, Jayce and Ekko- lord.

FUCKING FINALLY THE SISTERS ARE- well shit

Jayce and Mel, I never doubted this ship. I never doubted this relationship. I thought they were good for each, the rest of the world is just full of haters.

Sevika thank god they dumb bitches get on my nerves, I need someone with a functioning brain cell to lead us to salvation.

I’m gonna be on my fucking deathbed talking about the Zaunites joining Piltover to fight a battle they done have to, to save their homes- to make Progress.

Vi, it’s okay- OH MY GOD

Istg this show cannot- I’m- Ambessa my love I’m still reeling from the gays, give me a moment. VANDER MY LOVE NOOO! SINGED I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!

Oh fuck- we’re in it now

Ep 9:

EKKO THANK GOD- most stressful 3 mins of my life.

Honestly I don’t trust these dumb bitches at all. Jayce and Vi are like 2 for 2 on losing fights. Ekko save us Ekko. I had hope on Sevika but her leaving is so real. She has been let down by these people so many times- GERT NOOOOO

LORIS NOOOOOO

Thank god fish guy made it

Ambessa rises from the ashes like a demon- I KNEW IT I KNEW THAT BITCH WAS A TRAITOR!

GOD IS A WOMAN AND HER NAME IS MEL MEDARDA!!!

YEA JINX! SEVIKA IM SORRY I DOUBTED YOU QUEEN NEVER AGAIN I SWEAR!

There is something so special to me about piano boy being the one to make the shot. Like the smallest thing can make a difference, anyone can rise to the occasion.

Of course Ambessa is one step ahead

I have issues, I still think Viktor is so hot rn.

I know my girls are getting their asses beat rn but let’s appreciate they let the girls get down and dirty in a fight. No pretty fighting- my bitches scrap-

Bow your heads. We lost THE bad bitch today.

Omfg there’s still like 20 mins left

I should have known this plan was gonna go to shit the minute Jayce and Vi sat next to each other.

Praying for the salvation for my girl, Sevika I promised not to- FUCK

Ekko please save these idiots- SAVE US EKKO.

Jayce understanding that he was the soldier in the ash like yeah dummy- DID IT CLICK YET- Please let Viktor be the mage, I will not let this theory die.

Fuck I wanna side against Viktor but he looks gorgeous in the Arcane.

Oop Jayvik nation rise.

EKKO THANK GOD THATS MY BOY SAVIOR

HE WAS THE MAGE THE WHOLE TIME-

I’m actually in tears this isn’t a bit, like I’m actually crying

Viktor I never doubted you, I never forsaken you, I never hated you, I never turned against you, I never thought less of you. He could have actually succeeded and I would have stood by him.

Oh damn Jayvik nation rise for real, I was just joking the first time-

JINX I NEVER DOUBT- FUCK

This show is so beautiful, every scene a painting. Mel in all noxian gear while still wearing her purple eyeshadow, a mix of her roots but also the promise to move forwards and look ahead.

Yall im so fucking stressed and there’s only 3 minutes left.

No one talk to me for the next few days- I’m going through some shit okay-

[notvictorhugo]

Sooo I've just seen some beautiful fanarts of thirteen and eleven and I have Thoughts

So Im gonna talk a bit about Eleven and Thirteen, their relationships with Ten and Twelve, and the concept of 14 and why I think it fits so well.

My main thesis is this: Thirteen and Eleven are very, VERY similar, they are hurt in very similar ways from their previous regenerations, and deal with those things in similar ways. However, while Eleven gets a forced catharsis in Trenzalore, Thirteen only gets an optional one, which she rejects, forcing the regeneration into Fourteen and, later on, the bigeneration. Let's go!

I'd like to begin with Ten and a brief recap of his tenure. It begins with Rose, someone she knew from his previous regeneration, someone who, in many senses, healed him from the cynical POV he had adopted since the Time War. She becomes a bit too doctory, and ends up trapped in a parallel universe, largely because of him and his influence.

He then meets Martha. She ends up leaving him because he can't get over himself and his very recent trauma with Rose. He's on his own for a bit, and meets Donna, arguably his best friend in a long while. And, just like Rose, his actions end up with him being forced to depart from her. He is SO DONE at this point. He keeps travelling on his own, doing his own thing, a distant doctor (but a doctor still) who ends up becoming the Time Lord Victorious. In this state of Loneliness, he is forced to end Gallifrey again, and is saved by the closest thing he has to a friend at this point: the Master. He regenerates.

So, what does the Doctor do immediately after that, in his eleventh incarnation? When he meets Amy he decides to try again. This time, however, Amy is not a life-in companion, as Rose and Donna were (Im not sure about Martha, but I think she was one as well). Instead, he begins to microdose the Ponds, popping in every hundred years or so, seeing them for a while, then leaving again. After Rose, Martha and Donna, he absolutely refuses the idea of losing someone again: he is painfully aware of the time limits, and if working around them means not seeing the Ponds except on rare occasions, so be it. He is RUNNING AWAY.

Except, of course, it doesn't work. A lovely trip to New York ends with the Ponds being zapped back in time, a tombstone confirming they died, and a letter from Amy certifying that he never went back to see them, which, of course, means that NOW he can't. It's written, it's part of the timeline.

So he gives up. He refuses to engage, he refuses to take a new companion and, you know what, this time he won't even be a Doctor. He tried that after Donna and see how it worked out, no, no, never again. He is so tired.

This is arguably the end of the post-time war era. That part of him is definitely healed, and now all his wounds come from after that.

What happens then? He meets Victorian Clara. And she dies. But he's seen Clara die before. He's seen the same person twice, he's seen her die twice, and now here she is, a third one. His curiosity gets the better of him, but there may also be a bit more: for this woman, a death is not the end.

So they travel together, she moves in, and, with her, he starts healing again. This is somewhat similar to a Nine-Rose situation. What happens next?

Well, remember how he keeps running away from loss, what he was doing with the Ponds? This time it's enforced. He is trapped on Trenzalore, leaves Clara, and can only see her every few hundred years. He is forced to stay somewhere and see everyone be born, grow up and die, strapped to a chair, Clockwork-Orange-Style, to see his worst nightmare again and again and again. He lives through it, and Clara is there, always.

He regenerates.

Clara is with him, and she becomes to his twelfth incarnation what Rose was to his tenth. After many adventures, and after a beautiful mirror of Trenzalore in which it is the doctor who is forced to die again and again, Clara leaves in a way that mirrors Donna.

He could enter a second Time Lord Victorious era at this point, but he won't. He's been here before, he knows how it works, he's older and knows better. You can't run from death forever. He says goodbye to River Song and retires, but not in a hermit way, as he'd done before, but in a Professor way. He engages. He takes Bill as a student, but he will not let her become another Rose, Martha, Donna, Amy, Clara. She is not an equal, a partner, but his student and his protegée.

He also remembers. Last time, when he was in this situation, it was the Master who was with him by his side. The Master, who is also a timelord, who grew up with him, who's always been there. Perhaps, he thinks, there is the answer. He becomes her guardian, tries to fix her.

And, as we know (but crucially he doesn't), he succeeds. But he believes she -the one who was to be his friend- betrayed him, his protegée dies because of them, and now what? He gets into an explosion, but he does not die.

He is so tired. He's been through this twice already, as Ten and as Fourteen, and something like it as Eleven. Nothing works. His last shot, Missy, fails. He refuses to do it again. He does not want to regenerate.

Here's when Thirteen comes in.

She comes right after an attempt of giving up. It comes after recalling his friends (what makes his life worth living) and recalling how much she's grown via meeting One. Fine. Another attempt. Let's go.

But, just like Ten-Eleven, this new chance comes without any self-reflection, any attempt at fixing herself. Just like Eleven, she knows that she just has to run away, she just has to make friends, keep them well, keep them happy, and everything will be okay, just don't think about it. We sometimes see her brooding on her TARDIS alone, but she resumes her act as soon as Yaz (or anyone else) appears. She won't let the Fam see anything: the Bill dynamic worked well, so they're gonna be her students, not her equals. Not again.

So she's alone, perhaps more than ever. She has no friends, only students who she wants to convince they're friends to her, her wife's dead, the only other timelord remaining, her friend, has betrayed her and trashed all her previous efforts, and now it turns out the land of Time Lords, her equals, the ones she might have come back to, the ones she'd finally saved, have been destroyed again (by her friend!) and she isn't even one of them, she's an anomaly in an entire universe. And she HAS to carry all this on her back, not relying on anyone, not letting anyone close this time (unlike Clara-Eleven), AND has to pretend everything's fine for the humans she's decided to keep with her AND now it turns out one has caught feelings for her? Requited feelings at that?

Thirteen is a tragic figure. Unlike Ten, who had ups and downs, recoveries and reprises, and Eleven, who is forced to stay in Trenzalore and recover, she just... Dies. Carrying the same trauma from start to finish, and getting more and more and more and...

She can't. She just can't. She needs to stop. In these situations, humans somatize and just collapse, but she can't. So, how does her body force her to stop?

Old face.

Not Twelve, he was also alone. Not Eleven, with Amy and Rory timelocked. Ten, then? Yes, Ten might do. Back to an old face. Her TARDIS, seizing this chance, takes him to his friend, Donna. An equal, not a student.

But he still refuses to stop, refuses to engage, he just runs and runs and runs, never stopping, never sharing, never trusting. The ONE TIME he opens up a bit, it turns out it's to Fake Donna. Actual Donna doesn't remember. He powers on, as Thirteen did.

And then he gets shot.

But his body refuses. It is NOT giving up. It is not gonna let this chance go, it is not gonna give it a new face just to keep running from everything, as Thirteen and Fourteen did. No, Fifteen won't do that. The body regenerated eighteen hours ago: theregeneration energy is still fresh. Last time it had this face, he grew a new hand. Perhaps there's time for one last trick, it thinks.

[usuratongaychi]

fun thing about jiraiya and oro's relationship oro is like, always trying to kill people thats his first thought

when he met yahiko and the other kids his first thought was to kill them

either to put the out of their misery or to get them out of their way

jiraiya volunteered to stay back, with kids he knew probably wouldn't make it to adulthood to train them and give them a proper adult figure in their life

then he left

the compassionate thing would be to never involve himself with them

because he could never stay and raise them but he did it anyways jiraiya gets hurt and orochimaru immediately volunteers to kill him put him out of his misery

maybe thats what he wished happened to him that when his parents died, that he was killed too; now hes stuck, he doesn't want to die ever, so he has to race time to find a way to extend his life, through uchiha bodies, horrific experiments, grooming children for his selfish goal of everlasting life, because no one put him out of his misery.

while jiraiya's main goal was to love tsunade, with no regard to whether she returned his love, romantically or physically

she was hurt and he felt the duty to make sure she was always loved

he never let her make the choice to betray the village, to completely fall off the deep end orochimaru and jiraiya's dynamic is a "is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"

jiraiya is hedonistic and short sighted, orochimaru makes every choice with the goal of extending his life and cheating death. orochimaru honestly could have killed tsunade after dan and nawaki died, saved her the decades of suffering

or loved and supprted her as jira did, even though her life would never be the same, because good things would still happen. she would meet naruto, train sakura, love and lose again.

(jiraoro) they are the quote "is it better to have loved and have lost than to have never loved at all" because if jiraiya never stayed with the ame orphans, they wouldn't have lived to kill him.

that is the thing that directly led to his downfall; love and compassion

so in conclusion, maybe its ok to die if it means you had good times and gave love to those who needed it

because i dont think if jiraiya knew, he would have made a different choice

im gonna add this vid here bc i think it’s important in context

[lasertee]

ive seen ppl saying that Bellara is JUST like Merrill as well as others saying that they are nothing alike but i just gotta be a centrist on this one.

both are young dalish mages who are studying ancient artifacts from elvenahn (notably eluvians) and who are trying to find a way forward for their people. something similar about the both of them I think is that they both kind of surface level seem very bubbly and optimistic. this is true for both of them but it isn't all there is to them. Merrill is a lot more perceptive and insightful then the other characters in da2 (out of all the party members I think her and Varric are the two who are most aware of their places in a 'story').

in a similar vein underneath Bellara's (still genuine) optimism is someone who understands the price of failure and who knows suffering first-hand. Bellara always expects a happy ending for her serials, and will always try and find a way to save her brother, but she also snaps at the veil jumpers when they aren't being as rigorous with their safety as she feels they need to. she also has pretty consistent dialogue with other members of the group about her not sleeping/resting properly due to her pushing herself too hard. These moments of her pushing herself/ others too hard is again shared with Merrill. where Bellara blames herself for the loss of her brother (as she tells us at the end of her first quest), Merrill blames herself for the loss of Tamlen + Maherial. even years after the fifth blight the other members of Sabrae remark on how much losing them both affected Merrill, and a vision of Tamlen appears at the end of Merrills act 3 quest A new path to taunt her. so far I've pretty much just listed similarities but honestly I think the two have one major difference between them. in Bellara's quest of Cyrian's funeral, she can (depending on choices) talk about the dalish funeral held for her grandmother, and how it helped with the grief. Bellara grew up dalish, surrounded by her family. meanwhile Merrill was NOT born to the clan she was apart of. Merrill's clan was from Nevarra, but since clan Sabrae needed a first, she had to leave her family behind at the age of four. from banters we know that Keeper Marethari looked after Merrill well enough, she wasn't neglected. but she was still taken from her family at an extremely early age, and she never really seemed to fit into her new home.

i also think it is telling that Merrill always seems to have a crush on Hawke (if im gonna be real i kinda think all of the da2 companions are in love a little bit with Hawke but still). a huge part of Merrill's character is just how lonely she is. she loses her first clan, and then loses her second. all she has left are these random people who hang out with her at the hanged man and also fight people in the sewers with her. after da2, when everyone has scattered, who does Merrill have left? I only think its natural for her to develop a really close bond with Hawke. Hawke is also the only person who can actually believe in her. none of her clan, including her teacher believe in what she's doing, and see her as anything but a danger. Fenris and Anders basically never have anything nice to say (Sebastian also threatens to get the groups mages put away for apostasy but I also don't know how serious he was about that. like he might have just been trying to prod at Anders idk). even Varric doesn't fully trust what she's doing. the only person outside of friendship path Hawke who isn't trying to talk her down is Isabela, and that comes from Isabela's faith in Merrill, rather than Isabela's faith in Merrill's work and it's importance. she couldn't care less about that mirror. but in complete contrast, Bellara is surrounded by people who a) believe in her and b) believe in the importance of her work. the first and maybe most formative of those people is her brother Cyrian. it was Cyrian who strove to find the nadas dirthalen WITH her. they shared their goals together. Merrill never had anyone like that. in place of Merrill's Marethari, Bellara had Strife, where one only ever doubted, Strife never shows anything but complete belief in Bellara's capabilities. Bellara also had Irelin (her now ex). In the near beginning of the game, before we, the player, have ever met Bellara, Irelin tells us that she is one of the greatest minds the Veil Jumpers have. Bellara is also part of this entire organisation who is dedicated to the same thing she is, Merrill never had anything close to this.

The key difference between the two is that Merrill always had to do this alone. Bellara may have people taken from her but they will always believe in her, and in what she is trying to achieve. I don't really have a proper conclusion because I've said everything but also Merrill has the vallaslin of mythal and Bellara has the vallaslin of dirthamen. nothing to say about that I just found it interesting.

[pwnyta]

HUH

So no one was gonna tell me about The Old Guard?

I was supposed to just find it on a random ass Halloween 4 years after it aired... aight.

I mean I thought we were cool but I see how it is.

Anyways I watched it and I loved it IF YOU EVEN CARE.

Opinions-

Andy- Phenomenal. Never seen Charlize Theron look so damn hot. Even with her spooky eyes. Crazy butch bisexual(?) wielding a labrys sometimes. Love. Her church fight was sick as hell... im in denial about the stab tho... you can pry her from my cold dead fingies Netflix.

Booker-Like... OK. Like I get he was sad but its so hard to feel bad for him sometimes and like.. I dont hate him at all but just... I do wanna strangle him a little. JUST A LITTLE. I dont want him to be gone and never see Andy again... I hate that. I hate this movie.

Nicky- Great side profile, terrific nose... what in the Ben Linus is going on with the eyes tho? Those pale buggy eyes... This is your man, Joe? This Italian priest Templar knight with ghost eyes? Aight. Ribbing aside... I love him. Even if hes got spooky eyes.

Joe- Mortal enemies to immortal lovers is diabolical work. If you give me friends to lovers... it better be Crusade era enemies to begrudging companions to understanding friends to soul mates or fucking dont talk to me about it. NGL Joes kinda my favorite. Hes a silly little guy. Maybe my love for Sayid has made me soft for hyper-competent, deadly, romantic, shiny eyed Muslim men IDK.

Nile- LOVE. ..Ya know when Andy was like 'shes just a baby' I was like I sure hope this movie dont make me ship them cuz the fandom is probably gonna be annoying about that line but their plane fight was so hot... SUE ME. ANYWAYS... I love her. Apparently theres a second movie coming out & I cant wait to see her get to be a silly lil guy with the fam cuz she is silly lil guy. I love her relationship with Andy & I hope Andy gets better so they can be together forever & there can be some messy lesbian love triangle nonsense when Quynh.

Quynh- Dont got like... the deepest opinion of her just yet but her and Andy were like the Sapphic Nicky & Joe but in reverse.. like Nicky & Joe killed attacked each other then became lovers and it seems like Andy & Quynh were close and might become enemies? Of course IM GONNA IGNORE THE BAD STUFF AND PRETEND THEY JUST FIND EACH OTHER & ARE IN LOVE FOREVER. So...

Copley- Similar to Book I get his mindset but also I wanna strangle him a little. He is beautiful tho... so... Im interested in how hes gonna fit in with the gang... Im hoping for some drama at the start maybe them being like '...ya but hes not Booker...' and then Copley like... having some big hero moment saving the team or at least one of them and they get real close and then more drama because their new family is also just a normal guy & theyre gonna hurt to lose him some day. ANYWAYS.

MISC stuff I like-

The difference in how Nicky and Joe hug Andy.

Everything about this scene tbh. I just wanna see these types of scenes from now on. Silly lil guy moments.

Also Andys baklava addiction. Baklava is one of those things Ive always wanted to try... like boba and churros... ONE OF THESE DAYS.

This sick ass take down. Actually all the fight scenes were pretty sick. I like seeing them fight baddies all together... ODA TAKES NOTES. Also... full offense to guns but seeing Andy Nicky and Joe wield their old-school weapons is so much cooler... who brings a knife (labrys, long sword, scimitar) to a gun fight? THE COOLEST PEOPLE. THATS WHO.

Joe spitting out a bullet that he got shot in the face with.

'Shes just a baby!' (me with the whole team) Also TBF to Andy... Nile has such a cute baby face.

The development of Andy and Niles relationship. THO TBH I was bothered about Nile getting shot in the head because the exit wound woulda fucked her braids up.... I had a hard time focusing cuz I couldnt let that fact go lmao... It was driving me nuts...

The girls are fighting! (gone sexy)

Eepy not-boyfriends

Ancient head bonks of desperate affection. I hope all three of them head bonk Nile in the next movie. If this doesnt happen... im killing everyone in this room (its just me) and them myself.

This silly bitch in this moment.

Joes 'Hes not my boyfriend' speech. Incurable romantic indeed.

Honestly the soldiers tryin to insult Joe by mockingly asking if Nicky was his boyfriend and getting way more than they bargained for was fucking funny.

I just wish we coulda seen the faces of the guy driving the van as he heard the massacre in the back LMAO. Just keep drivin bud... aint nothin you can do about your boys in the back.

Immortal not-boyfriends gettin silly!

This is a nice plane! Theres a TV Joe!

lmao. The sillies.

Andy and Nile continuing to make me ship them.

Reunited and it feels so.... something but they were fighting together and it was real cool.

THEMB.

'You shot Nicky... you shouldnt have done that....'

Joe- Im a silly lil guy but (suplexes a man and breaks his neck)

Whyd he look so devastated after?

She wont jump out of a plane... but....

You betray Miette? You betray her like the bastard? Oh! OH! BANISHMENT FOR 100 YEARS!

Joe lookin at Booker the whole time... :c

[koishua]

queen of tears spoilers!!

identity is above all else, it seems like. ep 14 of queen of tears ruined me in all the good ways. when the question is "do you want to die as yourself?" vs "are you willing to live at the cost of who you are as a person?", the ultimate answer hae-in gives is no. she'd rather come to peace with the prospect of death with all of her memories of loving and, in turn, being loved coming with her. the death of memories is more painful than the death of her life itself. hyunwoo begging and sobbing in her arms does not deter her, however much she wants to keep on living. as herself. keep on living as the hong hae-in who loved dearly and who was loved, desperately so.

a loss of identity is death to everything that ever had a hand in helping her become who she is now. this brings me to the phrase "death is for the living". the dead do not mourn or face the aftermath of their last breath in the world of the living. the living, those who are left behind, are the ones who truly know what death is. so it is painful when hyunwoo, the man who isn't struck with the terminal illness bound to take her life any time soon, begs almost on his knees for hae-in, the woman who's counting the seconds left she has to live, to give up her sense of self. it's understandable how both of them stand strong in their desires. one fears becoming a stranger to all that she loves and one fears becoming familiar to life without the one he cannot live without. so he does everything in his power to have her take the surgery (all effort is in vain, she will not give up her identity).

i love this episode so much. im still only halfway through it but i had to give my two cents. such a beautifully tragic dilemma of two people who love. one loves by wanting to remember, one loves by giving everything to make her live. have a taste of love again for the first time. he says that he'll be the first person she'll meet and get to know again after the surgery. that he will still be there for her when she wakes up a completely different, empty, and lost person. he wants her to live, does not care if she'll ever even be able to reconnect with him ever again. he believes that she deserves to wake up another day and smile. to still be able to make new memories.

in the end they're both very selfish people who love selflessly.

edit: help me my stomach hurts from laughing so hard oml not him using his face and body card to annoy her into living. using jealousy as a mean to motivate her to take the freaking surgery and live ugh im in tears ahhahahah i love how if she doesn't become convinced the first few times when he's nice, he just intentionally pisses her off or annoys her into doing things to help herself 😭😭 thr only way to get hae-in motivated to live: make her mad at himself and have her do beneficial things out of sheer SPITE

edit 2: NO WHAT THE FOUK JUST HAPPENED POOR HYUNWOO OH MY GOD the way he lost all strength in his knees my god he crumbled in front of her feet he got a taste of what losing her felt like with that massive crash im still in shock i can't imagine having to witness that and trying to get through the car window to help save her and then not find her there?? and then she appears unscathed thankfully and he feels like a bucket of ice cold water drops over his head??? man they have to be so much more careful from now on bc the amount of yandereism the other guy is exhibiting ugh and the evil mother saying she'll help him out with "i can't stop till the moment i die" wtf??? OMG SHE'S GETTING THE SURGERY WHAT WHAT WHAT "i promised i would never make you cry after we get married" WOMAN HE'S BEEN SOBBING HIS SOUL OUT EVERY EPISODE SINCE!!!! 😭😭 ALSO NOOOOO NOT MY BOY SOOCHEOL GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN I CANT TAKE IT PLS MAKE HIM HAPPY WITH HIS LITTLE FAMILY I WILL CRYYYYYYYY he's gonna have MAJOR trust issues lmfao

[notskinnyenoughforestnymph]

Looking for a friend to restrict with <3

Unnecessary Story time!

So, I used to be small a couple years ago... actually no it was like last ish year. December of 2023 I dropped so much because my eldest sister was getting married. I'm 5'8 and was around 125-130 pounds at the time. After that I started college and I thought "oh... maybe I recovered... I stopped sh-ing and everything. I broke up with my toxic ex and met this super nice amazing guy. I love him a lot if you can tell. But he has a thing for chubby girls.. so he fed me all the food I never got to eat and made me feel loved regardless... so obviously I gained a bit...not just a bit... I was around 160 when I first started my journey and I dropped to 125 in around a month and a half... and I kept it off for like I want to say 4-5 years. A month ago, I met an old friend from when I first lost weight and I reminded me of how I felt back then... I felt hot. Now... I feel loved but not hot. After that I couldn't stop feeling like a cow, I realized that all the clothes I loved didn't fit anymore and that I wasn't small anymore. I weighed myself and the scale flew to 177.

Something in me snapped, I didn't know what to do I felt like shit but I couldn't not eat. Me and my boyfriend live together and he's like a huge gym/fitness freak. He goes to lift like everyday for 3 hours and I join him. I started eating less and working out more... he didn't seem to mind at first but then he started asking questions.

But before I could find answers for them, I was saved. It is summer break and his parents asked him to come back home ( he's an international student). I also came back home to my parents. But when I got home it wasn't a great greeting. My parents immediately let me know that I got fat. "You were so skinny before when u went to college what happened? Don't people lose weight when they go to college? Your pants look so tight."

That was all the motivation I needed. I have been on and off fasts and if I do eat its only around 500cal a day. I work out as much as I can.

This morning my weight was 163. I glad I dropped but not happy yet. I hope I can get through this. It's a bit hard since my boyfriend calls and wants to eat with me... I told him I feel ugly and I want to diet. He wasn't happy at first he didn't want me to get too skinny but he came around and is a bit supportive now. He doesn't know I'm fasting tho.

I have a internship that needs me to use the computer a lot and it's been giving me a headache. Especially with the fast. Last time I did this it was like 6 years ago. Im a bit older now, I don't know if its gonna work the same but I'm trying.

I love watching those tw ed videos on youtube they really help get me through my thoughts.

Thanks for going through that if you did. I want to document my journey this time. Cuz last time... i was all alone and meanspo hit hard. ( I was bullied a lot for being chubby when I was little till like highschool ).

Meanspo isn't hitting this time other than the fact that I hate myself lol.

if there are any older ppl (20 - 24) here I'd love to find a friend to restrict with.

Looking forward to being hot again<3

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night we watched ds9's "favor the bold" and "sacrifice of angels."

favor the bold:

worf rescuing dax during these wartime bits is EXTREMELY sweet. i think this is like 2 or 3 times now? he loves her 🥺

i love all the big cgi shots of all the different ships...i feel like i could look at those forever just noticing the various differences

quark in this episode......................

quark e kira in charge of breaking rom out. quark/kira. QUARK/KIRA! odo who? he sucks. fuck odo.

i don't mean it. i'm actually going to try as hard as i can to forgive him because it would be too exhausting to hate him until the end of the series. but FUCK ODO!!! kira doesn't need him...quark is right there...

like, odo being busy in his room fucking the mommy changeling or whatever while rom was in JAIL and kira and odo weren't allowed to see him!!!! fuck off

THE BRIG SCENE???? where rom my king rom was like. like quark was fucking. TRYING TO COMFORT HIM? and rom was just like. brother you cannot save me from execution you've got to focus on saving everyone else first. and quark was like what the fuck is wrong with you. and then proceeded to save everyone else first???

AND THEN. HE FOOLED? DAMAR? INTO THINKING HE WAS ON HIS SIDE?

kira was also in amazing form this episode. first of all, her fucking beating damar to a pulp and daring him to do anything about it. her getting ziyal to finally turn on her dad. and most of all telling odo to sit on it and spin. literally go fuck your mother. she's amazing

nog!!! nog's little promotion. wah. about time.

sacrifice of angels:

WORMHOLE ALIENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm actually really nervous about it cuz sisko was like bajor is my home when i retire when i go home it's gonna be to bajor and they were like you will never find peace in bajor :)

it was still really cool to see them again though. i'm fucking obsessed

and like...imagine being kira, or any bajoran. and you work with sisko for five years and he's like man cmon im not jesus. stop treating me like im jesus. i dont believe in that shit. and then he goes into the wormhole to face down 2800 enemy ships and vaporizes them with his mind. buddy you're not beating the jesus allegations anytime soon or like ever

QUARK IN THIS EPISODE ALSO. everything up to him because everyone else got thrown in jail for being rom sympathizers. him kidnapping ziyal for help was brilliant. they made a good team for .5 seconds. i love also that he 1. murdered two guys 2. freaked the fuck out about it, which is exactly what he did in that one episode with the klingon lady

also, QUARK E KIRA!!!! "i'd kiss you quark but" NO! KISS HIM!!!!!!!!!!

ziyal......girl, rip. she got there in the end i guess. but holy shit, i didn't realize damar had it in him. if im being honest im glad they killed her and not rom, it looked dangerously close to heading that way i know i checked up on him on memory alpha but STILL

what was really fun about it was dukat snapping. that wasn't where i saw his arc going but him totally losing it and then giving sisko back the baseball vs sisko triumphantly taking the baseball back...wow. that prop held so much weight over these 6 episodes and i was wondering how it was gonna pay off and it paid off REAL good

odo's change of heart.....................................

look. in theory, i LOVE him having a struggle and coming down on the side of the federation because of, primarily, kira. i just think his "betrayal" came out of nowhere, he was instantly telling this mommy changeling all his deepest secrets and then linking with her without any lead up or build up. if he had been struggling beforehand, if he had still been human and wanted it taken away from him, this i would understand. but his "betrayal" had no meat to it, so his change of heart doesn't feel very meaningful either. so like i want to care but i don't.

that said, when she asked why he changed his mind and he said "i think you know the answer" that was. pretty good. that was pretty good. it makes me hopeful that odo and i can get past this very rough place in our relationship :(

TONIGHT: finally back to voyager to catch up on all the voyager we skipped to watch ds9 three nights in a row. we got "day of honor" and "nemesis," for realsies this time

[iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid]

JNVEFOHBEFVQRUHBQVFUHBQCVGIU2FHBU3RGNJI3VRJNI3QRVFIJN2CRBOH2HBOV3RJN 3RV I JUST READ UR FALLOUT FIC!!! OMGOMGOMGOMG I LOVED IT!! PLS TALK TO ME MORE ABOUT FOUND FAMILY WITH THEM BC I WROTE MY OWN FIC, AND IM GONNA BE WRITING MORE ABOUT THEM AND I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THEM!! sorry its in all caps, im really excited

NEVER apologize for all caps and excitement!!!! in this house we lose our minds over found family dynamics TOGETHER and we are NOT calm about it lmao

under the read more because spoilers and also i got long winded (shocker)

ugh but literally. i need to do a rewatch because fallout is definitely one of those "watch once to get your brain blasted, watch a second time to catch all the little hints you missed the first time around" kind of shows, and also i just. NEED to watch this again with the full knowledge that cooper's been hunting down his family this whole time. yeah we knew cooper was a dad from the beginning but for us, at first, the logical assumption is that his wife and daughter must be long gone by now! it's been 219 years! it's not until the last episode or two that we start realizing that a lot of people from Before are still kicking around, and that cooper KNOWS that, and that the one thing keeping him going for longer than anyone else is the fact that he wants to see his wife and daughter again. the angst potential of this has me foaming at the mouth, by the way, and that's without even considering lucy yet

like, what's his plan? find janey and barb and... pick up where they left off? maybe two centuries of nuclear fallout will patch up his relationship with his ex-wife? how does he even know they weren't both unfrozen and lived their whole lives without him and died already? (i'll argue that he has not even considered that possibility, and will not, because that'll break him.) and say he does find them, and they're alive. maybe they haven't even been unfrozen yet and he can be the one to wake them up. ideal scenario, right? but will they even recognize him anymore? not just by his physical appearance, either! he is not the same person he was before the bombs fell, not by a longshot! janey's dad wasn't a ruthless mercenary bounty hunter who does what he has to do to survive and makes jerky out of human meat and sells random women to organ harvesters to get drugs! he was a guy who loved his dog and loved his family and who was so morally upright that he didn't even want to fake shoot a guy in a movie, because he believes that's not who his character is. and don't even get me STARTED on the fact that The Ghoul is a character to begin with, it's an act, because he's an actor who fell into this role because i guess it was easiest to survive that way, which means that at heart The Ghoul is also not someone who should be shooting guys. the kindheartedness is there under about 219 years of irradiated, decaying skin. but it's there

and then we get lucy, who's very deliberately written as his echo, a kindhearted morally upright person who doesn't want to let the wasteland change her, and i'll bet MONEY that as the series progresses cooper's gonna have to watch as it really doesn't change her. sure, she'll bite a guy's finger off in self defense, and yeah, she'll mercy kill a ghoul that's way past saving. but through it all she's going to try so hard to do the right thing, every single time, and i'm TELLING you, it's not so much that cooper's gonna get dragged back kicking and screaming into being a good person again, but it's more like he's gonna just start being better. it'll be kickstarted by lucy's influence and the fact that he cannot suppress the dad instincts to save his life, but the reason it'll really stick is because that's his natural setting! whether he wants to admit it or not!

anyway. uh. i ranted about this more than i meant to LOL but please always feel free to shout at me about grumpy morally gray old men allowing fatherhood to gently tug them closer and closer to the neutral good square on a dnd alignment chart. gets me every time

[wisdomshoes]

im completely alone. no one ever gave a shit for more than half a second and after that half a second it's just me again. gained nothing except silent judgement. no one actually wants to understand a complicated problem that doesn't affect them. all my friends do is mock and belittle me and my problems. sometimes behind my back, sometimes to my face. at best it's only cold indifference. i could be dead tomorrow and i don't think they'd be as bothered as they claim to save face. my parents, i don't think they even care enough to judge. they don't want me happy. they wanna be happy and attached that burden on me being happy. which is great, huge help, thanks. speaking of not understanding, therapy. what a waste of time and energy. spend weeks going just to be fuckin told that oh i don't really wanna kill myself? okay, my bad. sorry for the inconvenience. im just gonna shut the fuck up and get back in line then. she asked me something that took me by surprise. "how long have you wanted to kill yourself for" said in this fuckin almost surgical manner. the apathy was so strong I could taste it. took me half a second to comprehend the situation and i almost burst out laughing. only let out a chuckle before answering the question though. I'm strong like that. the only time someone actually paid attention to what im fuckin saying and this is the situation? looking back it only confirmed my theory. people always tell me to get help, either angrily or when they're done with my annoying problems. I have no idea how I'm supposed to get help when even the people getting paid to help me couldn't care less as long as i bleed somewhere else. i don't know how im supposed to achieve anything in life with a shattered self-image. i made peace with the fact that there's no way im graduating, but what then? work a shitty job i hate for minimum pay with people even more bitter than everyone around right now for the rest of my life? i should just kill myself. it's not even a matter of oh im so sad feel pity. it's the only move that won't resolve in a miserable life. i started the game with a king and three rooks against an entire team of queens, but the desk was so big i couldn't see there even was an enemy team over the horizon and by the time they came barreling at me I already distracted myself with art and dumb shit like that. not that i ever had a chance. and now my last rook is surrounded by queens on every side except back, but that's not a possible direction. they were toying with me the entire game. they let me have a few moves at the start without attacking. and now im all alone. i can't take it. there isn't a way all of this doesn't end with a suicide. unless I got so much fucking money out of thin air with no strings attached that i would never ever have to worry about anything ever again, but i get the feeling that would be a life even lonelier. every story has an end. in fiction it's nice. usually a fun ride with an emotional ending. in reality it's a miserable beatdown of the already weak and at the end you don't get a happy ending. or even a satisfying one. the only satisfying thing about it might be the crack, but even that's not a certainty. i don't know why im bothering posting this. i think it stemmed from the frustration of no one else talking about anything even remotely similar. besides suicide posts, but even those usually talk about losing everything first. im not gonna shine a light on my specific problems. god knows i don't need more insecurity and god knows anyone reading this besides me does not care for half a second. i guess i just want people who feel like me to at least have the comfort of knowing someone out there understands.

this reads like a Magnus Archives episode

[istherewifiinhell]

Carrot Pineapple Muffins

The recipe for the muffins seen here, well. Sort of anyway.

Recipe as written, on a page from maybe a website or book? I just have a photo copy I reprint as needed (read: as the paper falls victim to mishaps)

1 1/2 cups flour

1 cup sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

2/3 cup salad oil

2 eggs

1 cup finely grated raw carrot

1/2 cup crushed pineapple with juice

1 tsp vanilla

Sift flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt together in large bowl. Add oil, eggs, carrot, pineapple and vanilla.

Blend on low speed until all is moist, then beat for 2 minutes at medium speed. Half fill greased muffin tins and bake at 350 F for 25 minutes.

Makes 24 muffins. -Mrs. W. Atkins Agincourt, Ontario

Well thank u Mrs. Agincourt, the impact uve had on my life is not insubstantial. If you would like these muffins id def reccomend just making them as is...

however... u dont have a recipe in your life this long and Not Fuck With It.

Number One alteration that ive never NOT done (well maybe once by accident?) blend those pineapples. well it very well might be to ppls preference to have little morsels of pineapple in there. but a blended pineapple slurry just makes it like. applesauce muffins. just a nice moist texture throughout idk

Number 1.5 is u can make this a cake if u like. i guess thats obivious. BUT. Its good. i had this for many a birthday. ice that shit, normal buttercream please what is with the cream cheese obsession i dont know. do what u like but dont limit urself to expectation okay. Bakes into a nice really brown cake. U gotta bake this recipe like 'well done' if u want it to have any kind of structural intregrity so its kinda? crusty? i like it tho.

Number 2. ratios. in an impluse that im sure started in some healthy eating for the kids blah blah. but its just how i make it now. I tend to increase the pineapple and decrease the oil and use one egg? how much?? ehhhhhh..... like like a cup of pineapple. and 1/3 oil? does that math out? probably not idk. dont do it like how i do it maybe probably but thats how i do it

ALSO. MORE CINNAMON. Live deliciously. could go up to a tbsp of cinnamon honestly. Maybe even apple pie or chai spices. Could do whatever.

Number 3. definitional quibbles. "makes 24 muffins" whos muffins.... i find this tends to make me about 15 large muffins. maybe 16-18 if u want to be safe from over flow? and more if u want to fill em with a jam thing.

"finely grated carrot" using a grater with wholes less that like... idk half a centremeter gives me a bad time. u want like. chedder cheese size not parmesan.

oh also "salad oil" i use canola or vegatable. is that what it means by that? [makes i dunno noise] you could sub with various melted fats. there would be differences but not a big deal. butter or marg or coconut. whatever.

Number 4. Process. Oh mostly just I mix all the liquids together and then add them to the dry ingredients. (u could pop them all into blender together if u want) im mixing this shit by hand so u know. usuaully i do carrots a dry ingredient but that might not even be a good choice again ignore what im doing.

and again bake time. Ur really gonna want to check on them to to make sure their done. like toothpick check colour check whatever. their moist so its not a big like. over cook problem i think. AND i think theyre really good after sitting in the fridge or freezer and getting reheated (fresh baked goods are soooo tasty but a microwave is also a wonderful invention)

post thought. the jam. i dont usually fill these muffins usually i save that for applesauce ones, but i did last time. i tend to just heat whatever frozen berries, little lemon or lime juice. uhhhh maybe 1/4 cup of sugar? in a small sauce pan. how much fruit. ??? enough. i fill each muffin with like. a tablespoon. so idk. math that one out. needs to be a thick sauce! (however if its TOO thick then u also lose out on messy pick apart muffin treat. ur call) and chilled. if u wanna avoid Big Mess Muffin. lmao. u could swril the jam in or whatever else to but. effort.

[spokspsps]

okay so heres like all the things im going insane about in atsv its so disorganized im so sorry

spoilers for atsv

okay first off the mass amounts of color symbolism is insane

the fight with gwen and her dad where the color backgrounds kept switching to more and more contrasting colors to show that they were getting further and further apart emotionally the one part where gwen talks about her identity and how she has to hide it while acting fine WITH THE TRANS COLOR??? shes trans theyre all trans during the fight when the color backgrounds get closer and closer in shade to each other and then as everything falls apart again the background starts melting like watercolors its insane im going insane

and the clear color difference between earth42 and earth1610 is so amazing

earth42 is clearly more focused on purple and greens and theyre also even shaded differently too, earth1610 is shaded with halftone dots and colorful tones while earth42 focuses primarily on single colors with single directional hatching and comic book style shading (shading with straight up black rather than darker hues)

the fact that 42miles probably knows more spanish than 1610miles because he got closer with his mom after his dad died is heartbreaking

seeing the growth that miles has made in his 1 year, outsmarting literally the entire spidersociety with his plans and even beating some of them in combat its INSANE he's grown so much and while he's still a child he's also clearly grown and he knows his potential and worth

everyone has realistic motives that i can understand the reasoning behind and i also dont get the hate behind gwen she's just 15-16 and her only parental figure has just rejected her–of course she's going to follow miguel and jessica at first and then struggle with rejecting their ideals to support miles OF COURSE she is SHE'S A CHILD

i understand miguel's goals of the greater good but at the same time his need for control after losing all of it with the second universe clouds his judgement so intensely that he blames miles for all of it (also i noticed peter b parker was in miguel's second universe while it was collapsing???)

they both (miguel and miles) want to save people but they're going about it with different philosophies and i think it's because miguel has lost his way with what being spiderman really means

being spiderman means knowing ur not gonna be able to save everyone but still trying to save everyone anyways, and that's what miles embodies he knows he might not be able to save his dad but he wants to try anyways because if he just stood back and let it happen then there was everything he could've done and nothing he did do

miguel has forgotten in his grief that being spiderman means breaking conventional rules, never giving up nobody who tells you to and it's incredibly sad (and also kind of funny to see this like 50yo man send a manhunt for a 15yo teenager for not wanting his dad to die)

i think spiderman personally as the most human superhero purely because he's meant to a person anybody can imagine themselves as and people really can with the amount of different people, genders, ethnicities, etc you see in atsv!! the point of spiderman is to never give up and to always save people and although miguel intends to do those, he has given up on saving people in favor of what he would call "the greater good"

also the spot? i may be interpreting this wrong but i feel he's almost a parallel to miles

get your powers accidentally and not according to "canon events"

lose everything (miles, uncle aaron and the spot, like legitimately everything)

get new powers that you have no idea how to control and need to try and adapt to your life style

become incredibly powerful by learning to recognize your own potential and strength (as seen with miles' plan during the spidersociety chase and spot with the whole,, jesus fucking christ)

the difference between them is that miles recognized his potential and gained confidence through the support that he got from his dad saying that he will support him no matter what because he knows that miles can do it

meanwhile the spot got it specifically because the spiderpeople underestimated him, all making fun of him at first and even calling him "villain of the week" (or weak? i thought it was weak at first) and so he gets more powerful through spite, through the need to prove that he can be something despite having lost everything

and it's interesting to see how that also relates to miguel in a way

both losing quite literally everything and developing an intense and visceral need to control and dominate (men.) its amazing to see it

i might have more later but this is it rn

[tianhai03]

Can you stop being such a cunt, tranny. "I have a job and barely any free time anymore. who are you to tell me what to do. go learn some manners before you say anything under my art again" You sell prints, when you didn't pay the artist for the characters or their time, and want to talk, bitch. maybe stop selling other people's characters, and acting like a beggar, constantly giving out your inprnt store. Tell you what, since you value your time so much I value Capcom's time, and am reporting your inprnt account. Shut the fuck up, you stupid, degenerate loser. Your art sucks.

wow, it's my first time being called a slur! isnt that a big accomplishment. thanks for wasting your time coming all the way to here from twitter just to hide behind anon and say vile shit to me. why didnt you just comment on my tweet? you couldve saved a couple of minutes doing that. or is someone too scared to say shit to me directly to my face?

as for the inprnt thing, i never begged anyone to buy my stuff. i literally started selling my prints because people have been asking it for years, and ive stated MULTIPLE TIMES that no one should feel obligated to buy anything from me because its not my main income and its just a side extra thing i do. PEOPLE WANTED PRINTS OF MY ART, THEY ASKED FOR IT FOR LITERAL YEARS, AND IM JUST GIVING THEM WHAT THEY WANT. if youve ever seen me beg people to buy my art please let me know because i sure as fuck dont remember doing it. the only reason why i post my inprnt stuff so often is because the site has sitewide sales often, and if i have a way to let people pay less for my art if they want to im going to give them exactly that.

i know selling stuff with other people's IPs isnt exactly legal, its a big grey area that has no 100% rights or wrongs. but im not actively harming anyone just because i made art of a character and sold it online. the big companies arent losing any money because of me, you can always take the money youre paying for my prints and just buy official merch. i dont care. im going to repeat myself again and tell you that im only selling prints FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT IT AND CAN AFFORD IT. IF YOU DONT WANT IT THEN ITS NOT FOR YOU.

if you think selling fanart is so wrong, think back to all the times youve seen a voice actor for a show or a video game commissioning artists to draw the characters they voice. according to your logic, even though theyve spend their own time and effort on a crucial part of the character, theyre still not allowed to commission stuff of that character because they dont own the rights to them. does that mean youre going to report them too? are you gonna go to capcom and tell them "HEY MR. NICK COMMISSIONED SOMEONE TO DRAW A BUNCH OF RESIDENT EVIL CHARACTERS FOR HIS STREAMS AND HE DIDNT PAY BACK THE ENTIRE RE TEAM FOR THEIR TIME AND EFFORT MAKING THE GAME. THE ONLY THING HE DID IS VOICE LEON YOU GUYS NEED TO STOP HIM"? of course not, you'll look like a fucking idiot. i might not own the characters either, but ive spent my own time and the drawing skills ive developed over the past decade to draw those prints. i own the rights to my drawings and i should be allowed to do anything i want with them as long as im not harming anyone.

clearly you cant stand me or anything i do but youre still following me for some reason. please for the love of god block me right now, leave me alone and live your own life. you'll be happier that way. and also stop being transphobic its literally 2023.