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sigh it's so good
In Limbo
simon "ghost" riley x fem!reader | mafia!au | masterlist
Chapter Thirty: saint eulalia
tw: angst, smut
Simon’s first time visiting Terminus haunts him occasionally when the sun is too low to pull him out of his dreams.
A place of pain smothered in lacquer and polished leather, his first memory is of that chair. Antique wood creaking beneath his weight, fingers curling around the backrest as a needle bites into his skin. The sting is worse than a blade as it digs into his flesh for purchase then pulls. He doesn’t grunt, but his knuckles are turning white—at least, the knuckles that aren’t split open like too-ripe prunes.
The abattoir smelled wrong. Rotten. Nothing but addled blood and offals that seemed so close to being from an animal, but not quite. Something familiar in a twisted way. The stench of it follows him, overwhelming the attar of his own wound while the echo of splitting bone drowns out the muffled club music.
“Haven’t seen a scratch this deep in a long time,” John Price says. He wipes at a trickle of blood as it waterfalls down Simon’s side, staining his flank a rosy pink. “Sorry the patch job is shit. Too used to doing this to myself, I hardly know how to stitch anyone else up.”
The last suture stings the most. Tender, angry skin frustrated from being toyed with and tugged on—Simon grits his teeth especially hard until his jaw creaks. The ache ebbs the moment needles clink and latex snaps as John removes his gloves. Simon’s attention stays pinned at the wall in front of him.
There is a painting of a girl that stares at him. Simon can tell by the odd shine on the canvas that it’s merely a mimic—a bulk made print—but the diffused lighting does nothing to nullify the dread it strikes in him. She’s lying on an ancient, snowy street with her head closest to him and legs awkwardly angled to the left. Her curled hair fans out around her head like swirling river water that contrasts with the rime that covers the stones she lays on. Despite the cold, she’s half covered. Chest on display with a pale pink garment covering her lower half, Simon feels his nose scrunch when he notices the cross standing proud above her and the manacles that still taint her wrists with dull bruises. Doves litter her body while people whisper and look at her in the background. A guard stands at the ready with a pike in hand, eyes straight ahead, unbothered by the child dead at his feet.
No one seems to lament her quite like the white dove in the foreground. Head tilted to the side, beady eye focused on her corpse, Simon wonders if a dove could ever mourn such a loss, or if death is all the same to it, no matter what form it takes.
“Do you know her?” John asks.
Finally, Simon feels free to look away from the painting. “Who?”
“Saint Eulalia.”
The name doesn’t ring a bell. Simon isn’t an art connoisseur, and really he didn’t take John Price for one either. Leaning back, he inspects the stitching on his ribs and tries not to scoff at the wide wounds. The scar is bound to be gnarly—just another one for his growing collection.
Humming, John sits on his desk. The dark wood is solid but still creaks beneath the man's weight as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Her death was more brutal than what’s depicted in the painting. It’s hard enough showing a dead child at all, let alone one that’s been tortured beyond recognition.”
Simon doesn’t know why John’s telling him this. Maybe it’s supposed to be a lesson, but as far as he’s concerned, he’s already gone through his lecture. It’s painted on his skin in stray splatters of blood, in scrapes from blunt fingernails; it’s burned into his mind. The look of the first person he killed on purpose; not in self defence. He doesn’t know why he had to do it—all he knows is that he couldn’t afford not to.
“Is this supposed to be your way of makin’ me feel better?” he bluntly asks.
“No, you don’t need comfort. You’re too much like me for that.” When Simon raises a brow at the comment, John simply shakes his head. “That’s not a compliment.”
Scoffing, Simon finds himself looking back at the painting. Poor little Eulalia. Slaughtered and left bare with nothing but the snow to blanket her body. How strange for nature to be kinder than man in the face of such cruelty.
“People like us don’t need comfort for something like this,” John continues. “It’s just in our nature, isn’t it? Fighting tooth and nail, scrapping whenever it’s convenient, protecting?”
“You’re talkin’ like you know me, old man.”
“Old man? You’ll be my age before you know it… prick.” A faint tone of humor lurks beneath each syllable he speaks but it doesn’t quite land on Simon’s ears. “No, but I do know you. I know you’re the quiet type who watches people and only opens his mouth for crass humor or to bark profanities. You pretend not to care when in reality it eats you up from the inside out; knowing you’re falling short. That you’re not good enough.”
The more John speaks, the more Eulalia begins to morph before him. Face maturing, skin stretching, complexion changing, features blurring—she almost looks familiar now.
“Got all this from a glance, did ya?” Simon challenges.
“From a lifetime of being in your shoes. Don’t worry, you’ll grow into mine someday.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, because I know you’re not turning down my offer. People like us never can,” John explains. “Besides, you have to.”
Everything sharpens. A snap into focus, the twist of a camera lens as the foreground jumps into view—Eulalia is no mere girl, she’s his girl. You. Dead in the snow on cobblestone streets with doves mourning the loss of your breath, of your love for foxes, of your sweet smiles and tender kisses. John’s hand rests on his shoulder, but it’s not his voice that speaks.
“You have to, because she’ll die if you don’t.”
Simon wakes with a start.
He’s reaching for you before his brain can even make sense of it, hand cutting through the darkness of the bedroom until the tips of his fingers meet your cheek. Your rousing is minuscule but still tangible beneath his touch—head nodding, nose nuzzling closer to him as you breathe out a sigh. It takes everything within Simon to hold himself back from swallowing you. From wrapping his arms around you and pulling you so close that you’d never be free of him again.
Instead, he’s slipping out of bed quiet enough that you don’t wake. Stealing his phone off the nightstand then a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the living room, he slips into the garage where the light illuminates with an electric flicker before stilling with a dull buzz.
Settling on the wooden steps, Simon can’t help but eye his motorcycle as he fixes himself up a nicotine buzz. The once sleek black finish is now dusty with months worth of grime having built up on the body. It’s been too cold to ride throughout winter, and even now with the weather warming up he finds himself with you too often to even think about getting the poor girl back into shape.
Still, the view of it has his mind wandering back to the first time he ever took you for a ride on it. A long, sleepless night at Terminus spent watching over you and patching your hands up after his scrap with Andrei. He can recall the way your arms wrapped around him, how your head rested against his back—and then it’s all blood. Your puking, your bleeding and sobbing, the pure fear in your eyes because you were caught in the middle of a hunt.
Simon brings the cigarette up to his lips for a drag only to realize his hand is shaking. Each beat of his heart sends shockwaves throughout his body, toppling his strong demeanor, whittling him down until he’s nothing but the scraggly boy he used to be. Ignoring it, he breathes in the smoke only to realize it tastes stale. Mouldy and rotten. Hollow bones on his tongue, marrow long decayed out.
Though he has built his walls up high, Simon is still the little brother. With his trembling hands, he ignores the time that illuminates his phone screen as he calls Tommy. The line rings for so long he’s convinced the man won’t answer, but eventually the speaker clicks. A moment's silence screams at him until his brother’s sigh crackles.
“What’s up?”
Concern heavily laced with fatigue—it’s nearly one in the morning. Simon closes his eyes and contemplates hanging up, but he’s shivering so bad he doesn’t think he’d even be able to hit the button.
“Just wanted to talk,” he admits bluntly.
A mangled cough sounds on the end of the line, then a peeved laugh. “You’re tellin’ me you called me this fuckin’ late at night—nearly woke Beth up—just to talk?”
“That a problem?” It’s supposed to be humorous, but it comes out dull. Simon can hardly get his eyes to focus on anything in front of him, let alone the words brewing in the back of his throat. Frustrated, he flicks his cigarette onto the garage floor and watches it slowly burn down to the filter.
“You’re in trouble, aren’t you?” Tommy asks.
“Probably,” he shrugs.
“Well come on, out with it.”
“I’m paying a blood debt soon.”
Silence. Brutally long and accompanied with a sniffle. “You’re takin’ the piss, aren’t you? There’s no fuckin’ way you’re in debt.”
“Not my debt,” Simon retorts.
“No, no you’re not fuckin’ doing this.” Tommy’s riled up now, and the heat behind his words grows ever stronger. “C’mon, it was bad enough when you did it for me. I remember that day. I remember how badly it fucked you up mentally, Simon. Marco—the fuckin’ bastard—I mean… havin’ you kill a damn kid. No, I don’t care who it is, no one is worth you doin’ that shit again.”
A flash of red. Ichor on concrete. It looked so much like the pool house that he nearly didn’t care at first. Until he heard the rattle. And the begging.
“She’s gonna die if I don’t.” Simon’s throat is getting tight now. Shards of glass perforating his vocal chords, changing the tone until it’s breathy and light; hardly anything like himself. There’s a pressure behind his eyes that threaten to pop them clean from his skull, and the brine gathering on his lower lashes cuts worse than a bullet.
“You can’t keep treatin’ yourself like some fuckin’ superhero. Maybe some people gotta face the consequences of their actions,” Tommy rationalizes.
“Tommy… It's Chip.”
Everything good in the world quiets. There is no sweet moonlight, or birds in flight, or laughter. There is only the unspeakable darkness in the cavern of Simon’s chest, and the shadows that gnaw on the meat of him.
“Shit…” Tommy breathes. Neither of them speak for a few minutes. On the other end, Simon can hear shuffling. Rolling drawers. A door closing. He thinks he might hear the click of flint, but he doesn’t mention it. “Tell me what you can.”
Simon is tired of this game. Of rehashing your trauma as if it’s something to air publicly—the juiciest news report, a true crime show, a scary story to tell kids at night. And still, he does. He waters it down until the burn doesn’t sear as bad, but he can’t drown the images. The pictures he immolated. All the tears that stain his throat.
“I love her so fuckin’ much.” His voice breaks. Slices clean in two in imperfect halves. “And I’m terrified. I’m so fuckin’ scared, Tommy.”
“About the blood payment?” Tommy asks.
“Everythin. All of it. Of havin’ to kill some other poor kid. Of dyin’ and not bein’ around to protect ‘er anymore, of leavin’ her all by herself. I think of Marco gettin’ his hands on ‘er again and it makes me fuckin’ sick.” Simon wipes the tears off of his cheeks but continues to pretend as if they’re not soaking his face. His fingers clench and unclench—caught in a battle half brewing. “I keep thinkin’ ‘bout how she didn’t know ‘bout the blood payments, and it’s cuz the nonce wants her chained up. He doesn’t want her free. Marco might’ve left you alone after it all, but he’s not gonna do the same for ‘er. I know he isn’t.”
“That’s not gonna happen,” Tommy insists. “Nothin’s gonna happen to you. You’ll settle that debt just like you did for me and if the wazzock pushes his luck then you’re within your rights to kill the cunt.”
His head is spinning. Unrelenting asperity fills his body to the brim until it’s overflowing and seeping out of him until and spilling on the garage floor. Finding the cigarette still burning to ash on the ground, he breathes deep and allows the smoke to fill his lungs enough until everything else is pushed out of him. Replace the bad with something worse—but at least it’s familiar. At least he can stomach it.
“I’m sorry, Simon. I really am.” His brother’s voice takes on a clemency he’s never heard before. Tender and low—the type of tone that’s usually reserved for funerals and wakes. “I know how much she means to you. Never even seen you get like this over anyone before.”
Simon’s head bobs as he runs his fingers over his aching hairline. “I’d do anythin’ for ‘er. I’d fuckin’ die for ‘er.”
A sour chuckle slices through Tommy’s throat. “Yeah well… maybe try not to do that. Mum’s still hopin’ for a few more grandbabies, you know.”
That comment slices deeper than Tommy could ever know. Clean through flesh, down deep until it hits bone—Simon yearns for that simple life more than anything. That white picket fence dream with a rambunctious puppy frolicking through the yard and a happy wife to come home to. He’d work a good job—a proper job—and rest his head on the pillow without a worry in the world.
Deep down, he knows he’s too far gone for that life, but it doesn’t prevent him from thinking about it even after the call ends and he’s left alone. Men like him aren’t supposed to have the type of life everyone else does. His hands have seen too much gore. He’s roped too far deep into a tenebrous world where the tunnels wind too sharply for him to claw his way back up to the surface.
But he did find you because of it.
It’s the only thought that keeps him going when he crosses the threshold back into the bedroom and he finds you lying on your side, still smothered in blankets and deep in slumber. Though his aching muscles yearn for the mattress, he wanders until he’s on his knees, torso curling over the edge of the bed as if caught in prayer. Reaching through the darkness, his fingers curl around your palm where he runs his thumb over the tender skin that covers your metacarpals. Even now you’re glowing. His girl, the only light in his life.
He stays there for so long that his legs begin to ache, but he finds reprieve in the way your eyes flutter open. Legs stretching beneath the blankets, chest expanding with an impending sigh—you hum his name on the exhale.
“Si? What’s wrong?”
When you reach for him, palm cupping his cheek, you feel the lingering moisture that cools his skin. His cheeks feel puffy, an oddity when coupled with his stubble, and your heart swells so quickly in your chest that it hurts. Holding back the urge to coo at him, you scoot back along the bed before beckoning him closer.
Except he can’t help but fall into you. Scooped up by your Event Horizon, your bodies are colliding as he hovers over you, lips crashing into yours, hands pressed on either side of your head, leg tossing over your hip. Pain blossoms in your face each time he bumps against your still tender nose, but you ignore it when he slips his tongue into your mouth.
He feels like home. He feels like the only solace in the storm that’s raged around you for these last few suffocating days.
It’s why you don’t question or protest when his hands slide beneath your clothes, pulling at them until they’re in near tatters around your body—you need this just as much as he does.
The skin to skin contact leaves you dizzy. A newborn babe thrust into a strange world, clinging onto the only familiar thing you can get your hands on. Sparse chest hair against your stomach as he kisses a trail down your torso, puffy scars jutting out along his back as you hold onto him—he’s kissing away every ache and pain that nettles in the deepest parts of you. He hungers for the rot, for the taint that mars you, so that he can lick you clean.
It isn’t long before your bodies are rolling. Westley and Buttercup tumbling down a hill, you land on top of him with your thighs spreading wide over his hips before you’re taking him into you. Delicately sinking down, slowly taking his cock until your bodies are flush together. Simon stares up at you through the shadow of night and he has to hold himself back from crying again. How beautiful you look even in the darkest of times. How lucky he is to be able to call you his.
The experimental rock of your hips is enough to steal moans from the both of you. Instead of bouncing, you roll, keeping his cock nestled inside of you so the friction is full and raw, slicing through you with a heat that leaves your clit twitching. Your words are liquid on your tongue, spewing out between your teeth and falling in a mess on his chest; promises of love and adoration, discombobulated thanks, wet eyes and wetter lips.
When you come, your head throws back as if you can see the stars through the ceiling—nails digging into his chest, he holds you steady by your hips as you slowly come back from the heavens. For Simon, the stimulation is smothered by the agita coursing through his veins. His cock is already softening even without an orgasm by the time you collapse back into him, face buried in his neck, breath moistening his skin.
You lie so still against his body for what feels like hours that Simon nearly jumps when you speak again. “Your heart’s beating so fast.”
Sucking in a deep breath, Simon stretches his legs before his grip tightens around your back. “Think I’ve got you to blame for that,” he teases quietly.
Fingertips on his shoulder, you trace the old bullet wound that puffs out on his skin like puckered lips. “Simon, are you scared?”
Your question leaves his brain reeling, but he’s quick to yank on the line. “Nah, I’m not scared, baby.”
It’s a lie. A festering, burning lie, and he’s not sure if you feel the warmth of it or not.
“I’m scared,” you admit.
“About what?”
“Everything.” You swallow, and your fingers cease their movements. “I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want you to have to hurt anyone. This all feels like a cruel game.”
“Try not to worry too much ‘bout it, baby. I’m gonna take care of it.”
“You keep saying that but I just—like—just thinking about it and- I dunno I just… I…”
Cupping your face in his hands, Simon lifts your head off of his chest. It’s hard to visualize him through the penumbra as the lack of light makes his eyes darker than charcoal, but you do your best to hold his gaze.
“I’m gonna take care of it,” he reiterates. “All of it. When I’m finished, I’ll take you somewhere nice. We’ll get out of ‘ere for a bit. I want you to think ‘bout that instead, yeah?”
“Somewhere nice?” you repeat. “Like… Sapori nice, or…?”
The mirth that bubbles in his chest feels like the first real emotion besides fear he’s been able to convey all night. “No baby, like on the other side of the world in a fancy hotel away from everyone.”
The way your eyes widen makes something prideful swell in his chest. “Oh.”
“You just think ‘bout it, sweetheart. Anywhere. Tell me and I’ll take you.”
Simon sleeps better after that. Locking you in his embrace, shoving his face in the back of your neck, breathing you in until your scent is engrained in his mind. His dreams come short and sweet, quickly smothered by your quiet snoring whenever they decide to wander too far from kind.
In the morning, it’s the sun that wakes him up. You’re still fast asleep next to him, naked body obscured by the blankets, skin glowing in the gentle rays. He doesn’t know why he has to ruin it. Hands stretching out, fingers wrapping around his phone, he’s greeted by an early text from John Price.
The deal with Makarov’s been set. The debt will be settled tomorrow. Same place as usual.
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holy crap guys read this
THE CONTRACT
↳ oneshot | 10.8k | lowercase intended
preview: you signed a contract in desperation for money, thinking it was a joke of sorts—desperate times call for desperate measures. but when you're taken by two masked men who don’t plan to hurt you, just keep you, you realize this isn’t a joke anymore.
↳ note: this is a dark romance with heavy psychological elements and morally ambiguous characters. while the ending leans into tenderness, there is a lot of blurred lines. reader discretion is strongly advised. i really held back a lot while writing this because i was not in the mood to have my account flagged again lol. maybe one day i'll get the balls to go full throttle!
↳ content warnings: this fic contains explicit non-consensual elements (kidnapping, confinement, drugging, forced captivity), psychological manipulation, stockholm syndrome themes, graphic sexual content (including cunnilingus, spanking, edging, denied orgasm, forced orgasm, overstimulation, anal play, double penetration, breeding, pussy slapping, praise, and degradation), power dynamics, forced feeding, and emotional trauma.
the bright glow of your laptop screen lights up your cramped apartment. outside, the city echoes with distant sirens and the occasional drunken shout, but inside, the silence is deafening. your fingers hover over the keyboard, trembling slightly.
the eviction notice on on the coffee table stares back at you in big, bold red letters reading final warning. almost as if it was some kind of death sentence. you hoped it would't come to this but hope could only get you so far. the last thing you needed right now was to be homeless in this shady neighborhood during the dead of winter. you've sold everything of value—all of your jewelry, your books, even a good chunk of your clothes. but it wasn't enough. it was never enough.
so there you were, curled up on your sunken couch, scrolling through the darkest depths of the internet. the places people only whisper about in hushed tones. your breath comes in shallow, uneven bursts as you click through encrypted forums, each one darker than the last. the air in your apartment feels thick, heavy with the weight of your desperation.
you spent hours working late nights and early mornings but it was never enough to crawl yourself out of the debt that has been sucking you into a blackhole.
then you see it.
the sanctuary.
the site is sleek, almost too polished—like it was designed to lure in people exactly like you. no flashy banners, no pop-ups. just a single, ominous listing under experiences:
be taken. be kept. no questions. $500,000 payout upon completion.
your heart stutters in your chest. half a million dollars. that kind of money would be life changing. more than enough to wipe your debts clean, to start over, to breathe again. you could finally move out of this shitty hell hole that is a pathetic excuse of an apartment.
it was probably a scam but what harm would come from just filling out the application. some twisted joke or a phishing site made to prey on the desperate. you weren't stupid, you knew that. but your fridge was empty, your bank account was overdrawn, and the landlord's threats were starting to sound like promises.
but the questions that follow make your skin prickle with unease:
do you consent to full surrender? yes.
are you prepared to give up all rights for the duration of the stay? yes.
are you mentally and physically prepared for an intensive period of isolation, obedience, and environmental conditioning? yes.
do you understand that comfort and care will be provided at the discretion of your handlers, not upon request? yes.
you swallow hard, throat dry as sandpaper. the rules are deliberately vague, the language clinical, detached. it claims that it is a hundred percent legal and consensual, but something about the way the words sit on the screen makes your stomach twist.
it feels like a game. a dangerous, twisted game—but you're desperate enough to play.
your cursor hovers over the sign button. for a moment, you hesitate, the rational part of your brain screaming at you to close the tab, to walk away. but then you think of your landlord's sneer, the way your stomach aches from skipping meals, the crushing weight of knowing you're one missed payment away from being out on the streets.
against your better judgement, you click sign.
you hold your breathe as you wait for what happens next. the screen of your laptop goes black. anxiously, you ram your fingers against the keyboard in an attempt to bring it back to life. the screen remains black, the shocked reflection of your face staring back at you.
you can't help but laugh. it comes out nearly hysterical. with everything going on, the last thing you needed was your shitty laptop giving out on you. as you reach to close your laptop, the screen mysteriously flickers back to life with a single message written across it:
leave your door unlocked tonight.
you slam the laptop shut, the sudden silence in the room pressing in on you like a physical force. your pulse roars in your ears, your palms slick with sweat. what the absolute hell did you just agreed to?
fuck, it's too late to back out now. and no amount of prayers or demise can undo what you had just signed off on. for all you know it was probably some stupid prank set up by a group of teenagers who didn't know any better. that night when you went to sleep, you locked the door and triple checked the windows before heading to bed.
you spent countless hours tossing and turning, you were far to anxious to even close your eyes, afraid that the dark will swallow you whole. you opted for sitting on the edge of your mattress, knees drawn to your chest, listening to the creaks and groans of your apartment building. every noise makes you jump, your heart insistently pounding in your ears. every creak made your skin crawl, quickening your pulse.
the clock strikes past 2:00 a.m. your eyes sting from hours of fighting off much needed slumber. you had a shift at the coffee shop that started in three hours. but despite your exhaustion, your body refusing to relax. before you knew it, light was softly filtering through the blinds, the dark of the night gone at last. the apartment was quiet and still as it could be as you stretched your sore limbs. staring into the mirror, your eyes were bloodshot and your face looked drained of life.
there was a part of you that felt like an absolute and utter idiot for even believing that something was going to happen. still, you couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed. it wasn't in the apartment itself, or in the air, or the light. it was in you.
you dragged yourself through your shift at the coffee shop, running on caffeine and adrenaline. the hours passed in a blur. you made drinks, wiped counters, and forced yourself to smile at customers who would never guess what you had done the night before. you kept checking your phone, half-expecting a message, a warning, something. but there was nothing. it felt almost as though a weight was lifted off of your chest.
by the time your shift ended, you were too exhausted to think straight. you walked home in a haze, the cold wind biting at your skin. after a quick hot shower, you bundled up under your comforter and drifted off into some much needed slumber.
you don't know what wakes you.
maybe it's the shift in the air, the sudden absence of sound. maybe it's the weight of a gaze you feel before you even open your eyes. but when you do—there's a man standing at the foot of your bed.
your breath catches, your body locking up in pure, animal instinct. he's tall—too tall—his broad frame nearly swallowing the dim light from the streetlamp outside. the shadows cling to him like a second skin, but you can make out his face due to his mask, the glint of something dark and unreadable in his eyes.
you don't scream. you don't even move. your lips part, but no sound comes out.
then instinct finally kicks in.
you lunge for your nightstand, scrambling for anything to defend yourself. his hand snaps out, catching your wrist in a grip like iron. your pulse thunders in your ears as you twist, nails raking against his arm. a growl rumbles in his chest, low and warning.
"none of that," he murmurs, voice rough.
you don't listen. you can't. panic floods your veins, sharp and electric, and you thrash, knee jerking up. a second pair of hands grabs you from behind, locking your arms against your body. "fuck," a new voice mutters, voice thick with a british accent. "she's a fighter."
you writhe, teeth bared, but they're too strong. he reaches reaches into his pocket, pulling out a syringe. the liquid inside catches the light and you thrash against them even harder.
your breath comes in ragged bursts. "no—no—"
"shhh," the first man soothes, almost gentle, as if he's calming a spooked animal. "just a little pinch."
the needle sinks into your neck.
you gasp, the burn of the injection spreading fast. your limbs grow heavy, your vision blurring at the edges. the last thing you see is the second man's masked face tilting as he studies you, his grip never loosening.
"sleep now, little one," the first man murmurs.
and just like that—the world goes dark.
when you wake, its feels like your skull has been hammered in. you could practically feel your heart pounding in your head. your neck still sore from whatever the hell you were injected with. your mouth feels dry and tastes of copper and cotton. when you try to swallow, its like sandpaper grinding against your throat. you slowly start to piece together the reality around you.
first it's the smell of damp concrete and something metallic. then the cold, seeping through your clothes and into your bones. finally, the pain, a dull throb at your neck where the needle went in.
you blink against the dim light. you're on a mattress, thin and lumpy, pushed into the corner of what looks like a basement. the walls are bare concrete, the only light coming from a single bulb swinging gently from the ceiling. there are no windows.
you try to lift your head and immediately regret it as the world tilts violently. a soft whimper escaping your lips. when you try to stand up, the chain around your ankle yanks you back. your breath hitches. it's thick, industrial-grade, bolted to the floor and connected to a leather cuff tight enough to leave marks but not cut off circulation.
"she's awake."
the voice comes from the shadows near the stairs. the british one steps into the light, holding two mugs. steam curls from them in the cold air. he's changed clothes and is now wearing black tactical pants and a tight gray henley that stretches across his shoulders. his mask remains firmly in place, the familiar skull fabric hiding his features. only his eyes are visible, glinting in the low light as he studies your pain-tense form.
he sets one mug on the floor near your mattress and keeps the other for himself. "drink. it'll help with the headache."
you don't move. your throat burns with thirst, but you won't take anything from him. not again.
he sighs, crouching down to your level. "suit yourself." he takes a sip from his own mug, watching you over the rim. "you put up a good fight back there. surprised me."
"go to hell." your voice comes out cracked, barely above a whisper.
you can tell he's grinning even through his mask. "already there, darling."
the creak of the stairs makes you both turn. the larger masked man descends slowly, his massive frame barely fitting. he's changed into a black hoodie with the sleeves pushed up to reveal forearms corded with muscle. the sight of those thick veins running under tanned skin makes you swallow hard. his face is concealed by that distinctive hood—the fabric obscuring everything except those unsettling eyes that track your every movement.
"she's not drinking," the british one says. there's something possessive in how he watches you, something that curls heat low in your belly even as your mind screams in protest.
the hooded man tilts his head, the fabric shifting with the movement. "she will."
he reaches into his pocket with deliberate slowness and pulls out a phone. your phone. his fingers tap the screen before turning it toward you. the glow illuminates the loose threads of his hood as you see the bank notification—$100,000 deposited into your account.
"first installment," he says, voice muffled slightly by the fabric. "as promised."
you stare at the number until the screen goes dark, reflecting back the shadowy outline of his concealed face. it's more money than you've ever seen.
the british one nudges the mug closer with his boot. the ceramic scrapes against concrete. "now will you drink?" there's a challenge in his voice that makes you want to both obey and defy him, the contradiction tying your stomach in knots.
your hands shake as you reach for it. when you look up, they're both watching you with something like satisfaction, and the heat in their eyes has nothing to do with cruelty and everything to do with possession. it should terrify you. part of you wishes it did.
the hooded man pockets your phone, the movement making his hood shift. for a second, you think you see the shadow of stubble along his jawline before it disappears back into concealment. "rules are simple," he says. the fabric moves with each word. "you stay. you obey. you get the rest."
"and if i say no?" your voice comes out breathier than you intended.
the british one's laugh is hollow. "you clicked the button, love. that was your signature." he steps closer, and you don't pull away when his thumb brushes your lower lip. "we all know what you really want."
the hooded man's hand settles on your waist, large enough to span nearly half of it. his breath is warm through the fabric as he leans down. "this is your life for now," he murmurs, and the promise in his voice makes your traitorous body arch toward him. "be a good girl and accept it."
the bulb flickers as they leave. the lock clicks. outside, wind howls, but inside, you're burning up. you're torn between horror and shame and filled with the aching need they've awakened in you. the tea sits forgotten as you press your thighs together, disgusted with yourself and yet already wondering when they'll return.
the silence after they leave is suffocating. you slump back against the mattress, your fingers trembling where they clutch the mug. the tea has gone cold, but your skin still burns where they touched you. you hate it. you hate how your body betrays you, how your pulse jumps at the memory of rough hands and low voices.
the chain around your ankle clinks when you shift, the sound too loud in the empty basement. you should be planning an escape. you should be screaming. instead, you're staring at the spot where the british one stood, the way he brushed your lips with his calloused hands burned into your mind. perhaps it was the after effects of the drugs that they gave you making you hallucinate?
you don't know how long has passed but you're most certain that it has definitely been a few hours. you're stomach is grumbling, the last thing you consumed was a day or two ago—a croissant and cup of coffee from the cafe. the hunger was gnawing at your stomach and you were starting to feel dizzy.
the door clicks open without warning. you jerk upright, chains rattling, as the british one strides in carrying a tray. the smell hits you first—roasted meat, fresh bread, something herbal that makes your empty stomach clench painfully.
"brought you dinner, darling," he says, setting the tray just beyond your reach. steam rises from the plate, curling in the damp basement air. your mouth waters before you can stop it.
you force your gaze away. "i'm not eating that."
he crouches with predatory grace, balancing effortlessly on the balls of his feet. "oh?" his fingers tear off a piece of bread, holding it up. "smells good though, doesn't it?"
when you don't answer, he tsks. "such a stubborn little thing." the bread brushes your lips. you press them tighter. his other hand grips your chin, forcing your head up. "come now. you'll need your strength."
"for what?" you snap, trying to twist away. his grip tightens.
"for all the fun we're going to have." he presses the bread harder against your mouth. "eat."
you lunge suddenly, teeth aiming for his fingers. he moves faster, twisting your head to the side and pinning you against the mattress. his body presses down, all hard muscle and controlled strength.
"naughty," he breathes against your ear, hips grinding down just enough to make your breath hitch. the bread is still in his other hand. "you want to play rough? fine." he nips your earlobe. "but you're still going to eat."
you thrash violently, nails raking down his arms, legs kicking uselessly beneath his weight. he sighs dramatically. "have it your way." in one smooth motion, he pulls his mask up just enough to reveal cruel, smiling lips and pops the bread into his own mouth, chewing slowly while watching you struggle. "shame. it's really quite good."
your stomach growls loudly. you can feel your face grow heated from embarrassment but your far to prideful to eat anything he offers. you can see his eyes light up with dark amusement.
before you can react, he's grabbing another piece of bread and chewing it deliberately. you barely have time to gasp before his hand fists in your hair, yanking your head back. his mouth crashes against yours, tongue forcing the food past your lips. you choke, but he doesn't let go until you swallow, his teeth nipping your bottom lip as he pulls away.
your chest heaves, torn between rage and the shameful realization that your body is responding to his dominance. he tears off another piece, chewing slowly as he watches you. you know what's coming. your breath comes faster.
"open," he commands. when you don't obey, he pinches your nose shut. instinct makes your lips part, and he's on you again, feeding you another mouthful with his lips and tongue. this time, when he pulls away, a whimper escapes you before you can stop it.
"that's it," he coaxes, feeding you another bite. each morsel comes with a stroke of his fingers, a whispered praise that coils heat low in your belly. "so good for me."
when the food is gone, he lingers, thumb wiping a crumb from your lip. you bite down hard. he yanks back with a laugh, examining the teeth marks on his thumb. when he finally stands, adjusting his mask back into place, you're left panting, your lips swollen, your body thrumming with conflicting sensations.
"feisty till the end," he muses. "i like that." he collects the tray, pausing at the door. "sleep well, princess. you'll need it."
your can feel the exhaustion of the past two days and a 12 hour shift wearing down on your body. as much as you try to fight it off in fear of one of them coming back down, your exhaustion wins and sleep comes heavy and unwilling. your lips still tingle from the forced feeding, your skin buzzing with the memory of his hands on you. you dream of mocking voices and teeth at your throat, waking in gasps only to find the basement still dark, still empty.
when you wake, it is to the feeling up being watched—a feeling that you have known all to well lately. it's him. the hooded one. he seems to be much gentler compared to the one with the british accent.
he's seated in the corner, silent as a shadow, his massive frame swallowing what little light filters into the room. you don't know how long he's been there, but the way his head tilts when your eyes meet tells you its been far to long. his gaze catches yours slow, deliberate, like a predator savoring the moment its prey realizes it's caught.
"you're awake." his voice is low, muffled by the mask, but it scrapes over your skin anyway. he doesn't move. doesn't blink. just stares, those unreadable eyes tracking the way your breath hitches.
you sit up slowly, chain clinking, your muscles stiff from the cold floor. instinct has you crawling backward before you can stop yourself, shoulders pressing into the wall as if that could save you. "what do you want?"
he stands in one smooth motion, the movement too graceful for a man his size. the bucket in his hand sloshes, water dripping onto the floor between his boots. "you need to wash."
your stomach drops. "no."
he doesn't react, just sets the bucket down with a thud and nudges it toward you with his foot. the towel draped over his arm is crisp, white—a mockery of cleanliness in this basement. "you're dirty," he says.
heat floods your cheeks. "i'm not undressing in front of you."
"no?" his head tilts, the edges of his hood shifting. beneath the fabric, you imagine his lips curling. "then you stay dirty." he crouches suddenly, fingers snagging the hem of your shirt. "unless you want help."
you slap his hand away. "don't fucking touch me."
his grip closes around your wrist like a vice, yanking you forward until your chest nearly brushes him. "fight all you want," he murmurs, dragging your trapped hand under his mask. his tongue flicks out, tracing your knuckles through the fabric, slow, as if savoring the salt of your skin. "you'll give in eventually. i'll ask again nicely. take it off."
"no."
one hand fists in your shirt and yanks. the cotton fabric tears like paper. cold air hits your bare skin and you gasp, hands flying up to cover yourself. it's pointless. he's already grabbing your wrists, pinning them above your head with one hand. his gaze darkens as he drinks in the sight of your bare chest. your nipples harden under his sharp stare and you can't help but squirm. you shouldn't have found this attractive but it had wetness pooling at the apex of your thighs.
the damp cloth traces your collarbones, slow and methodical, wiping away your sweat. you bite your lip to stop the moan threatening to escape.
"so sensitive," he murmurs, the cloth dipping lower. he releases your wrists and grips your waist, holding you still as he washes between your breasts. your breath comes faster, your nipples pebbling under his attention. "see how your body reacts?"
you squeeze your thighs together, but he notices. of course he does. his knee nudges them apart as he crouches before you. the cloth drags down your stomach, over your hips, leaving fire in its wake. when it reaches the waistband of your shorts, you whimper.
"shhh," he soothes, even as his fingers hook in the fabric. "i'll take care of you." the rip of fabric echoes in the quiet room. you should be ashamed, should fight harder, but his hands on your bare skin feel too good. you melt under his rough hands like putty. you find all the fight that you had slowly simmer down under the gentle care of his hands.
the water is cool, but where he touches you burns. his fingers trace every curve, every dip, cleaning you with a reverence that makes your chest ache. when his thumb brushes your inner thigh, you jerk, a broken sound escaping your lips.
"so perfect," he growls, his masked mouth pressing against your knee. "so responsive." his hands slide up your legs, washing away the last traces of dirt, leaving you exposed and trembling.
no one has ever been so attentive to you. not when you were scrounging for food in dumpsters at twelve. not when you burned with fever that left you immobile in that shitty studio apartment with no one to even bring you medicine because you had no one. the first tear falls before you can stop it.
he pauses. "look at me." when you don't, his fingers grip your chin, forcing your gaze up. his masked face tilts, studying your wet cheeks. "crying?" his thumb swipes under your eye, collecting tears. "why?"
"because you're—" your voice cracks "—you're fucking monsters. and this is the kindest anyone's ever touched me."
the confession hangs between you, raw and ugly. his breathing changes, the mask fluttering slightly. for a long moment, he just watches you shake, his grip on your waist the only thing keeping you upright.
was it the emotional wear and tear of the past 48 hours sneaking up on you? or even worse, the lifetime of neglect that you had faced resulting in any kind of attention, good or bad, making you feel seen? you had been numb for so long that the sensation of tear running down your heated cheeks felt foreign. it was almost as if a dam had burst within you.
his hands resume their work, slower now. the cloth moves down your thighs with unbearable gentleness, washing away dirt and years of neglect. "let go," he murmurs against your knee, his lips brushing skin through the fabric. "just let us take care of you."
you sob when his fingers find the scar on your hip—the one from when you fell through a rusted fire escape at fourteen and stitched it up yourself with fishing line. his touch lingers there, warm and steady, and something inside you fractures.
maybe it wouldn't be so bad, you think wildly, to let them break you. if their hands put you back together after. if they keep looking at you like you're something precious instead of disposable.
"there," he whispers when you're clean, pressing a towel to your damp skin. his hands tremble slightly as he dresses you, buttoning the fresh dress with careful fingers.
you hate how much you crave his approval. hate how badly you want him to touch you again. but most of all, you hate that when he leaves, the cold feels unbearable—and that the scent of him lingers on your new clothes, wrapping you in something dangerously close to comfort.
the days blur together in a haze of careful hands and quiet commands. the british one that you have come to know as simon comes like clockwork—morning, noon, night—feeding you bites of food between teasing remarks. "open wider, princess," he'll murmur, his thumb pressing against your bottom lip until you obey. sometimes he makes you eat from his fingers. sometimes from his mouth. you always flush, always protest, but your lips part easier each time.
and the tall one that goes by konig is the one who washes you, his massive hands surprisingly gentle as they scrub away your resistance along with the dirt. he notices everything—how your breath hitches when his fingers graze the back of your neck, how your thighs press together when he kneels between them to wash your legs. "so responsive," he praises each time, his masked mouth brushing your ear. "such a good girl for me."
you had lost track of how many days you had been holed up in the basement. how long did they plan to hold you captive? you had wondered if there had been anybody out there looking for you. although, that was highly unlikely given that you're parents weren't in the picture and you had no friends. maybe your manager at the cafe had filed some kind of report, she was a sweet old lady who always checked in on how you were doing because she knew that you lived alone in a shader part of town.
as the days passed you started to formulate ways you could escape. the first order of business you had to tackle was the stupid chain on your ankle. luckily for you, there had been a bobby pin from your hair that you had kept hidden under your mattress.
you waited until the house fell silent, until even the creaking floorboards above had stilled. then you went to work. the lock was stubborn, but you were stubborn too. the first click made your pulse spike. the second had your hands shaking with anticipation.
"and what do we have here?"
you nearly jump out of your skin—your blood turns to ice. simon’s voice comes from directly behind you, his shadow swallowing you whole. you don’t even have time to turn before konig’s hand fists in your hair, yanking your head back.
"naughty girl," he murmurs, plucking the pin from your fingers. his mask brushes your cheek as he inhales sharply. "you smell like fear. you should be scared."
simon crouches in front of you, his knife flashing as he taps it against your ankle cuff. "we give you pretty dresses. feed you from our hands." the blade gently slides up your calf, making you shiver. "and this is how you repay us?"
you spit at him, the saliva landing on his boot. "go to hell."
simon’s laugh sends shivers down your spine as he wipes his boot clean with slow, deliberate strokes. "oh sweetheart," he purrs, sheathing his knife with a click that echoes in the silent basement. "you just earn yourself a proper punishment."
konig’s grip in your hair tightens as he hauls you upright, his other hand wrapping around your throat in a way that shouldn’t make your pulse jump but does. "such a bad girl," he murmurs, his masked lips brushing your ear, the heat of his breath making you shiver. "needing to be taught a lesson."
you thrash against him, nails scraping at his arms, but he doesn’t budge. the hard planes of his chest press against your back, his arousal evident even through layers of tactical gear. simon stands with that infuriating smirk, rolling up the sleeves of his henley to reveal corded forearms that have no business being so distracting. "over my lap," he commands, settling onto the edge of the mattress with deliberate ease.
"fuck you!" you snarl, twisting in konig’s hold. your heart pounds not just from fear, but from the way his fingers flex against your throat, the way simon’s eyes darken as they rake over your body.
konig tsks, the vibration rumbling through his chest and into yours as he easily maneuvers you face-down across simon’s thighs. the cold air hits your bare ass as konig yanks your panties down in one sharp motion, his knuckles brushing your sensitive skin and leaving fire in their wake.
"such a pretty little ass," simon muses, running his calloused palm over one cheek in a caress that feels more possessive than punishing. "gonna look even prettier all red and marked up."
the first smack lands without warning, sharp and stinging. you yelp, fingers digging into the mattress as heat blooms across your skin. "bastard!" you spit, but your traitorous body already responds, your nipples pebbling against the rough fabric of simon’s jeans.
simon just chuckles, delivering another sharp slap to the same spot, the pain melting into something dangerously close to pleasure. "count them, princess. or we start over." his thigh shifts beneath you, pressing deliberately against your aching core.
"never!" you gasp, but your hips rock forward instinctively, seeking friction.
the next blow comes harder, making your eyes water even as your cunt clenches around nothing. konig’s hand settles between your shoulder blades, keeping you pinned as simon begins a relentless rhythm—left cheek, right cheek, each smack louder than the last, each one sending jolts of heat straight to your throbbing clit.
"o-one," you finally crack out in a broken voice, shame curling in your belly even as your arousal grows.
by the fifth spank, your thighs shake—not just from pain, but from the way simon’s massive hand covers nearly your entire ass, his fingers brushing dangerously close to your dripping slit with every impact. the sharp sting radiates through you, mixing with the low throb between your legs until you can’t tell where the pain ends and the pleasure begins.
"f-fifteen," you choke out after another brutal spank, your ass burning like fire. tears streak your face, but worse—your juices coat simon’s jeans where you grind against him, your body betraying you completely. you’re a sobbing, snotty mess by fifty, but your cunt pulses with need, aching to be filled.
simon pauses, rubbing circles over the heated skin of your ass. "fast learner that we have here," he murmurs, his voice rough with arousal. his fingers dip lower, brushing against your soaked folds and coming away glistening. "oh? what’s this?" he holds his wet fingers up for konig to see, his smirk widening.
you whimper, hips jerking away from his touch, but konig holds you firm, his other hand sliding down to squeeze your abused cheeks. "she’s dripping," he observes, his voice thick with amusement as he presses against you, letting you feel the hard length of him through his pants. "such a dirty little thing, getting off on her punishment."
"i’m not!" you protest, but your traitorous body clenches around nothing, your clit throbbing with each heartbeat. the scent of your arousal fills the air, mixing with leather and gunpowder in a way that makes your head spin.
simon’s next smack lands directly on your pussy, the sting mixing with pleasure so intense you scream, your back arching off his lap. "liar," he growls, delivering two more sharp slaps to your swollen lips that have you seeing stars. "your cunt’s begging for more. should we give it to her, konig?"
the taller man hums, his fingers sliding through your folds to circle your aching clit with terrifying precision. "i think she’s earned a reward," he decides, pressing down just hard enough to make you writhe, your hips chasing his touch. "after she apologizes, of course." his thumb flicks over your sensitive bundle of nerves, drawing a broken moan from your lips. "well, little one? what do you say?"
you bite your lip hard enough to taste blood, refusing to give them the satisfaction even as your nails dig into the sheets, your body arching toward konig’s skilled fingers. simon’s hand comes down again, this time on your already burning ass, the sharp sting making your clit throb against konig’s relentless circles. "fuck! okay, okay! i’m sorry!" you sob, the words torn from you as much by pleasure as punishment.
konig’s fingers don’t stop their torturous movements, his other hand gripping your hip hard enough to bruise. "sorry for what, little one?" his voice is rough velvet through the mask, that accent curling around the words in a way that makes your stomach flip.
"for t-trying to escape," you gasp, hips rocking shamelessly against his hand now, your resistance crumbling with each expert stroke. the way simon watches you—those piercing eyes tracking every twitch of your body, the way his jaw tightens when you moan—sends fresh heat pooling low in your belly. "for being a b-bad girl."
simon’s palm lands one final, stinging blow before soothing over the heated skin, his touch almost tender.
"good enough," he decides, flipping you onto your back with effortless strength. his eyes darken at the sight of your tear-streaked face, your heaving chest, the way your nipples pebble under his gaze.
"look at you," he murmurs, thumb brushing your swollen bottom lip. "all marked up and still so defiant." the way his voice drops sends shivers down your spine. "we’ll break you eventually."
konig’s fingers push inside you without warning, curling against that sweet spot that has you seeing stars. "she’s close," he observes, though the way his breath hitches betrays his own arousal. his fingers piston in and out, the wet sounds obscene in the quiet room as you arch off the bed, your body taut as a bowstring. "should we let her come?"
"not yet. the first time she comes, it will be on my cock." simon leans down, his breath hot against your ear as konig’s fingers still, leaving you teetering on the edge. "don’t even think about touching yourself, i will be watching."
"next time you misbehave," simon promises, his teeth grazing your earlobe in a way that makes your cunt clench around konig’s fingers, "we won’t stop at just a spanking." the dark promise in his voice has liquid heat dripping down konig’s fingers. "understood?"
you nod frantically, your entire body trembling with denied release, your skin oversensitive and burning wherever they’ve touched you. konig withdraws his fingers with a wet sound, wiping them deliberately on your inner thigh, marking you with your own arousal. "good girl," he murmurs, the praise curling around you like smoke. "now sleep."
as they leave, the door locking behind them with finality, you collapse onto the mattress. your ass still burns, your cunt still aches, and worst of all—your fingers itch to touch yourself despite simon’s warning. you press your thighs together, biting back a moan as the friction sends sparks through your oversensitive nerves.
curling into yourself, you press your face into the pillow to muffle your frustrated scream. you should be planning another escape, looking for a weakness in routine, trying to get out of the shackle but you find yourself wondering on how they would taste and feel instead.
sleep didn't come. just the endless replay of konig's murmured praise, simon's dark promises. the way they'd worked you over like a shared project, all rough hands and calculated tenderness. you bit your lip until copper flooded your tongue, but it didn't stop the memories—konig's breath hitching when you clenched around his fingers, simon's grip in your hair as he forced eye contact while konig touched you.
the next morning arrives with no relief. you wake tangled in sweat-damp sheets, your body still thrumming with last night's denied pleasure. every shift of fabric against oversensitive skin sends sparks through your nerves, making your teeth clench. you press your thighs together tightly, but the pressure only makes it worse —a constant, aching reminder of their control.
"someone didn't sleep well," he observes, setting down the breakfast tray. the scent of coffee makes your chest tighten with something dangerously close to homesickness.
"fuck you," you mutter, but your voice lacks its usual bite.
he chuckles, perching on the edge of the mattress. "eventually." his fingers trail up your bare leg, pausing at the bruise konig left yesterday. when you flinch, he presses harder, his thumb circling the mark. "hurts?"
you shake your head, refusing to give him the satisfaction.
"liar." the word is almost affectionate as he reaches for the breakfast tray. "open."
when you hesitate, his free hand slips beneath the sheets, finding your still-throbbing core with terrifying accuracy. "i said," he repeats, fingers applying just enough pressure to make your hips jerk, "open."
you part your lips with a shaky exhale, letting him feed you the first bite. his smile widens as he wipes a crumb from your lip with his thumb. "see? was that so hard?"
konig enters silently, his massive frame filling the doorway. his masked face tilts as he takes in the scene—simon's hand still under the sheets, your flushed cheeks, the way your fingers clutch the blanket in white-knuckled fists. "trouble?" he rumbles, moving to stand behind simon.
"just reminding our girl who takes care of her," simon replies, feeding you another bite. this time, konig's hand joins his under the sheets, his fingers replacing simon's. his calloused fingers drags against your sensitive flesh, making you gasp.
"so wet," konig murmurs, his other hand stroking your hair. "even after last night." his fingers work you with clinical precision, never quite giving you what you need. "do you want to come, little one?"
you bite your lip hard enough to taste blood. the answer claws at your throat, but pride keeps it locked behind your teeth.
simon leans in, his lips brushing your ear. "say please," he whispers, "and maybe we'll consider it."
the tray sits forgotten as they reduce you to a trembling mess between them—konig's relentless fingers, simon's filthy words. when you finally break, a whispered "please" slipping past your lips.
simon's fingers dig into your thighs as he pushes them apart, the cool air hitting your needy cunt. his mask is lifted just enough to reveal his smirk before he leans in, tongue dragging a slow, torturous stripe through your folds. you whimper, back arching off the mattress, but he pins you down with ease, his grip bruising.
"so fucking wet," he mutters against you, lips sealing around your clit to suck lightly—just enough to make your toes curl but not enough to push you over. his tongue flicks and teases, alternating between soft licks and sharp nips that leave you gasping. konig's hand strokes your inner thigh, his other palming himself through his pants, the quiet sound of fabric rustling filling the room.
"please," you choke out, fingers twisting in the sheets.
simon pulls back with a wet sound, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "please what?" he taunts, dragging his cock through your slick, the thick head catching on your clit. you jerk, a broken noise escaping you. "use your words."
"please—fuck me," you plead, hips lifting desperately.
he doesn't make you wait. with one brutal thrust, he's inside, stretching you to the limit, the stretch burning so good. his hips snap forward, setting a punishing pace from the start, each drive punching a moan from your lips. konig's hand slips between your bodies, thumb circling your clit in time with simon's thrusts, the dual stimulation making your vision blur.
"gonna come?" simon growls, fingers digging into your hips. "told ya the first time you'd come would be on my cock."
you shatter with a sob, your cunt clenching around him as pleasure crashes over you in waves. the orgasm so intense that it hits you like a freight train. simon fucks you through it, his own release following shortly after with a groan, his hips stuttering as he spills inside you. konig's breath is ragged behind his mask, his hand moving faster over himself until he grunts, spilling over his fist.
simon pulls out with a satisfied hum, thumb swiping through the mess between your thighs before pressing it to your lips. "good girl," he murmurs, watching as you lick it clean. konig's hand strokes your hair, his touch almost gentle compared to the wreckage simon left behind.
"next time," konig says, "i'm taking your ass, little one."
konig's fingers curl around the cold metal of the shackle, the one that's been clamped around your ankle for weeks—maybe months, time blurred down here in the dark. the click of the lock releasing is the sweetest sound you've ever heard. your skin tingles where the rough iron had been, the sudden absence of weight making your leg feel almost weightless, like you could float away.
the relief is immediate. the constant pressure, the chafing, the way it bit into your flesh every time you moved—gone. you suck in a sharp breath as blood rushes back to the spot, the sensation both prickling and soothing at once. you reach down without thinking, fingertips brushing over the raw, tender skin. it's sore, yes, but god, it's free.
he watches you for a moment, his masked face unreadable, before he hooks an arm under your knees and another behind your back, lifting you like you weigh nothing. your body protests weakly—every muscle limp, every nerve still buzzing from simon's rough treatment—but you don't fight it. you can't.
the basement stairs creak under his boots, each step taking you further from the damp, mold-scented air, closer to something you'd almost forgotten existed. real light, real air. your vision swims as he carries you into the hallway, the sudden brightness making you flinch. it's not even that bright—just a dim lamp flickering on the wall—but your eyes burn anyway, unused to anything but shadows.
he kicks open a door, and then you're being lowered onto something soft. a bed. actual fabric beneath you, not concrete, not that pathetic excuse of a mattress. your body sinks into it, the mattress cradling you in a way that makes your throat tighten. you want to cry. you might already be crying.
konig's hand drags over your bare hip, possessive but not cruel. "rest," he orders, voice gravelly. "you'll need it."
you don't have the strength to answer. the second he pulls the blanket over you, your eyelids give out, heavy as lead. the last thing you feel is the ghost of his touch on your cheek before darkness swallows you whole.
later that evening, you stir to the feeling of large hands sliding beneath you, lifting you with surprising care. your body aches, muscles still heavy with exhaustion, but the pain is duller now—soothed by the deep, dreamless sleep you'd fallen into.
konig's voice is softer than usual, almost tender as he murmurs, "time to get you cleaned up, little one."
you blink up at him, disoriented, but there's no cruelty in his touch, no impatience. just steady, quiet control. the mask is still in place, but his movements are gentle as he carries you down the hall, the sound of running water growing louder with each step.
when he pushes open the bathroom door, steam curls in the air, the scent of something warm and herbal—lavender maybe—filling your lungs. your breath hitches. a real bath. not a bucket of cold water dumped over your head, not the rough scrub of a rag while you shiver on the basement floor.
the tub is already full, water glimmering under the dim light, little bubbles floating on the surface. konig kneels beside it, testing the temperature with his fingers before turning back to you. "can you stand?" he asks, voice low.
you nod, though your legs tremble when your feet touch the tile. his grip tightens just enough to steady you, his other hand sliding around your waist to keep you upright. the care in his touch is almost startling—like he's handling something fragile, something precious.
he helps you step into the water, and the moment it closes over your skin, you nearly whimper. it's so warm, so soft, the heat seeping into your sore muscles, loosening the tension in your back, your shoulders. you sink deeper, the water rising to your collarbones, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you feel clean.
konig doesn't rush you. he sits on the edge of the tub, one arm draped over the rim, watching as you slowly relax. when he finally reaches for the soap, his movements are methodical, careful. the washcloth glides over your skin, scrubbing away the grime, the sweat, the lingering traces of simon's touch. he's thorough but never rough, his fingers lingering just a little longer on the places where bruises bloom—like he's memorizing them.
when he reaches your hair, his touch turns almost reverent. he tips your head back, cupping water in his palm to wet the strands before working the shampoo through with slow, massaging circles. your eyes flutter shut at the sensation, a quiet sigh escaping you. it's the closest thing to kindness you've felt in so long, and it makes your chest ache.
"better?" he asks, voice barely above a whisper.
you can only nod, throat too tight to speak.
he hums in approval, rinsing the suds away before lifting you from the water with effortless strength. a plush towel wraps around you, absorbing the droplets as he pats you dry with surprising tenderness. his hands linger on your hips before he lifts you again, carrying you back to the bed.
the sheets are cool against your skin as he lays you down, but the warmth of the bath still lingers beneath your flesh. he looms over you, his masked face unreadable as he reaches for something on the nightstand—a small bottle of oil.
"gonna stretch this pretty little ass for me," he murmurs, uncapping the bottle. the scent of vanilla and something spicier fills the air as he pours the oil over his fingers, warming it between them. "you'll take it so well, won't you? always such a good girl for us."
his free hand spreads your thighs, exposing you completely. you shiver, but not from cold. there's something about the way he looks at you, the way his voice drops into that rough, possessive tone that makes your stomach tighten.
the first touch of his slick fingers against your rim makes you gasp. he circles slowly, teasing, watching how your body reacts. "so tight," he growls. "gonna ruin you for anything else."
just as the tip of his finger begins to press inside, movement catches your eye—simon, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed. his gaze is dark, hungry, tracking konig's every movement. when he pushes off the wall and stalks forward, your breath hitches.
"look at that," simon murmurs, dragging a calloused finger through your folds. "already wet for it." his touch is rougher than konig's, less patient, but it sends a jolt of heat through you all the same.
konig chuckles, the sound low and pleased as he works his finger deeper. "she loves it," he says, twisting his wrist just enough to make you whimper. "don't you, little one? love being stuffed full?"
simon's fingers find your clit, rubbing tight circles that have your hips jerking. "fuck," he breathes, watching konig push a second finger in. "look at her. greedy little thing."
the stretch burns, but the pleasure simon coaxes from your clit makes it impossible to focus on anything else. konig scissors his fingers, stretching you further, his other hand gripping your hip hard enough to bruise. "soon," he promises, voice thick with want, "it'll be my cock. gonna wreck this perfect ass until you can't walk."
simon leans down, his breath hot against your ear. "and i'll be right here," he murmurs, "playing with this pretty cunt while he does."
the plug is cold when konig presses it against your hole, but the way he works it inside—slowly—has you arching off the bed. simon's fingers curl inside you, matching konig's pace, and when the plug finally pops into place, you come with a broken cry, their praises ringing in your ears.
the room is hazy as they pulls away, simon's fingers glistening as he drags them slowly from your soaked cunt. you're still trembling, oversensitive and boneless, but he doesn't let you rest for long.
"open," he commands, pressing those same wet fingers to your lips.
you obey without thinking, tongue darting out to lick them clean, the taste of yourself sharp and familiar. simon hums, satisfied, before reaching for the tray he'd brought earlier. the food is simple but to you, it might as well be a feast.
simon doesn't hand it to you. instead, he picks up a piece of fruit, holding it to your mouth. "eat," he says, voice rough but not unkind.
you take a bite, the flavors exploding on your tongue, and you have to force yourself not to whimper. it's so good, so much better than anything you've had in what feels like forever. simon watches you chew, his dark eyes tracking every movement of your throat as you swallow.
"that's it," he murmurs, grabbing another piece. "good girl."
he feeds you like that making sure you take your time. konig watches from the foot of the bed. you can feel the weight of his gaze. it's heavy, possessive, and it makes your skin prickle even as exhaustion tugs at your limbs.
when the tray is empty, simon sets it aside and wipes your mouth with his thumb, the gesture almost tender. "sleep now," he orders, pushing you back onto the pillows.
you don't have the energy to resist, not when your body feels so heavy, so used. the plug inside you is a constant reminder of their claim, but right now, even that can't keep you awake.
the last thing you see is konig leaning over you, his hand brushing your hair from your face. "rest," he says, voice softer than you've ever heard it. "we're not done with you yet."
escape is the last thing on your mind as you doze off.
the next morning, sunlight filters through the curtains, painting golden stripes across the bed. it had been so long since you'd waken up to the sun. you stir as the door creaks open, konig's broad frame filling the doorway.
"morning, little one," he rumbles, voice still rough with sleep.
you sit up slowly, the soreness in your body a dull ache now, more memory than pain. the plug in your ass still feels foreign. konig crosses the room in a few strides, his hand coming to rest on your shoulder. "feel better?" he asks, tilting his head.
you nod, and something in his posture relaxes—just slightly.
"good," he says. "then let's get you dressed."
he doesn't give you a choice, but his hands are gentle as he helps you into fresh clothes—soft cotton pants, a loose sweater that smells faintly of him. when he kneels to slide socks onto your feet, his fingers linger over the fading marks from the shackle, his thumb pressing lightly against the tender skin.
you had fallen so into routine with the two of them that your old life was a thing of the past. it's not like you had anything or anyone to go back to. at least here, you had a roof over your head and you didn't have to worry about when or what your next meal would be.
"no more basement," he murmurs, more to himself than you.
"no more basement," you repeat after him.
then he stands, offering you his hand. "come. you can see the rest of the house."
your breath catches. real freedom—even if it's just within these walls—feels like a dream. konig leads you through the hallway, his grip firm but not restraining. the house is larger than you expected, the floors polished wood, the walls lined with framed maps and black-and-white photographs.
but it's the library that makes you stop.
floor-to-ceiling shelves, packed with books of every color and size. your fingers twitch at your sides, itching to touch, to explore. konig notices, of course. he always notices.
"go on," he says, nudging you forward.
you don't need to be told twice. the moment your fingertips brush the spine of a book, something tight in your chest loosens. you pull one out at random, the weight of it familiar and comforting in your hands.
konig watches as you curl into an armchair, your knees tucked under you, the book open in your lap. he doesn't join you, just leans against the doorframe, arms crossed. but he doesn't leave either.
the silence is comfortable, broken only by the turn of pages. you lose yourself in the words, the story pulling you under, and for the first time in so long, you forget—forget the basement, forget the pain, forget that you're anything but a girl reading a book on a quiet morning.
until konig shifts, pushing off the wall. "simon's back," he says, and just like that, the spell breaks.
your fingers tighten around the book, but you don't protest when he takes it from you, marking the page with a slip of paper before setting it aside.
"later," he promises, his hand sliding under your chin, tilting your face up to his. "if you're good."
the rest of the day goes by in a blur, you even asked simon if you could cook dinner and he agreed although he was wary of letting you use a knife, reasonably so.
the knife feels heavy in your hand—too much power after so long without any. simon watches from the kitchen doorway, arms crossed, his dark eyes tracking every movement. you can feel his gaze like a physical weight, but you focus on the vegetables in front of you, slicing them carefully.
"slow," simon murmurs, stepping closer. his breath ghosts over the back of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. "don't get too excited now."
you nod, forcing your hands to steady. the rhythm of chopping is almost meditative, the repetitive motion soothing. simon hums in approval, his fingers brushing your hip as he reaches past you for a glass. the casual touch makes your stomach tighten.
dinner is simple—pasta, roasted vegetables, a sauce simmering on the stove. it's more than you've cooked in months, maybe years, and the domesticity of it feels surreal. konig appears just as you're plating the food, his mask pushed up just enough to reveal the sharp line of his jaw. he inhales deeply, nodding.
"smells good, little one," he says, taking his seat at the table.
simon doesn't say thank you, but the way he cleans his plate tells you enough.
the meal is quiet, the only sounds the scrape of forks and konig's occasional low comment. you eat slowly, savoring each bite, hyperaware of their eyes on you. when you finish, konig takes your plate without a word, stacking it with the others.
then simon stands, stretching lazily before fixing you with a look that makes your pulse jump.
"bed," he says, tone leaving no room for argument.
you obey without hesitation, your body already reacting to the command. konig follows, his presence a solid warmth at your back as you climb the stairs.
your room is dim, the bed neatly made—just as you left it. but you don't get the chance to admire it before simon is pushing you onto the mattress, his hands rough but purposeful.
"you did good today," simon murmurs as he strips you of your clothes, "so we'll make it good for you too."
the mattress dips under their combined weight as konig settles behind you, his massive frame caging you in. his thick thighs bracket yours, forcing your legs wider. you can feel the obscene stretch of his cock already—hard and leaking against your ass—as he works the plug inside you with slow, filthy twists.
"fuck, look at you," simon growls from between your legs, his calloused fingers spreading your drooling cunt wide. "clit all swollen and begging, and this greedy little hole—" he slaps it, making you jerk, "—dripping just from getting stuffed in the ass. fucking perfect."
konig’s hand fists your hair, yanking your head back to expose your throat as he finally pulls the plug free with a wet pop. the cold air hits your stretched rim for just a second before he’s pressing the thick head of his cock against it, spit-slick and relentless.
"breathe, little one," he rumbles, but doesn’t give you time to adjust before he’s sinking in, inch by brutal inch. your back arches, a broken scream tearing from your throat as he bottoms out, his hips flush against your ass.
simon doesn’t let you recover. he flips you onto your back, your legs hooked over his shoulders as he slams into your cunt in one brutal thrust. the angle is deep, his pubic bone grinding against your clit with every snap of his hips.
"that’s it, take it," simon grunts, his thumb pressing down hard on your clit as konig starts moving behind you. the stretch is unreal, your body stuffed impossibly full, their cocks rubbing against each other through the thin barrier of your walls.
konig’s hand slides around your throat, squeezing just enough to make your vision blur as he murmurs, "feel that? both of us inside you, owning you." his thrusts are slower, deeper, dragging against your oversensitive rim with every pull.
simon leans down, biting your nipple through the fabric of your shirt. "gonna fuck you so full, princess," he snarls. "gonna pump this tight cunt until it’s dripping with me—then watch as he seals it all inside you."
you’re sobbing now, your body strung tight between them, pleasure and pain blurring into one unbearable wave. konig’s free hand grips your hip hard enough to bruise as he picks up the pace, his balls slapping against your ass with every snap of his hips.
"come," simon demands, slapping your clit again. "come on our cocks like the filthy little thing you are."
you shatter with a scream, your cunt fluttering around simon as your ass clenches down on konig. they don’t stop—just fuck you through it, their groans mingling as they chase their own release.
simon comes first, his cock pulsing inside you as he grinds deep, filling you up just like he promised. konig follows with a low snarl, his thrusts turning erratic before he spills, his cum mixing with simon’s as it leaks out around his still-hard cock.
for a long moment, the only sound is your ragged breathing and the wet drip of their spend onto the sheets.
then konig leans down, plugging your ass again, now filled with his cum. "my perfect little one," he murmurs, pressing a kiss through his mask to your pulse point. "you did so well."
simon just smirks, tapping your swollen clit once more just to watch you twitch. your body is limp between them, every muscle trembling from overstimulation. for a moment, you think they’ll leave you like this—used and sticky and aching. but then simon shifts, his arms sliding beneath you, lifting you like you weigh nothing. you whimper at the movement, your oversensitive skin protesting, but he hushes you with a low hum.
"shh, princess" he murmurs, carrying you toward the bathroom. "we’ll take care of you."
the water is already warm when he lowers you into the tub, the heat soothing your sore muscles. konig follows, a damp cloth in hand as he kneels beside you.
"look at you," simon says, dragging the cloth over your stomach, wiping away the evidence of their claim. "so pretty when you’re all fucked out."
you shiver, but there’s no bite to his words—just quiet satisfaction. konig takes your hand, his thumb rubbing circles over your knuckles as simon cleans between your legs, his touch surprisingly careful despite the way you flinch.
when the water starts to cool, konig lifts you, wrapping you in a towel before carrying you back to bed. the sheets have been changed, fresh and soft against your skin. simon presses a glass of water to your lips, his free hand cupping the back of your neck to help you drink.
"slow," he warns, but his voice lacks its usual edge.
you swallow obediently, the water soothing your raw throat. konig climbs in beside you, pulling you against his chest, his heartbeat steady under your ear. simon settles at your back, his arm slung over your waist, his breath warm against your shoulder.
"you can leave tomorrow if you want, the rest of the money promised to you will be wired to your account," konig murmurs into the quiet, his fingers tracing idle patterns along your arm. the words hang in the air, heavy and unexpected.
you go still against him.
simon’s grip tightens slightly at your waist, but he doesn’t argue. just waits for your response.
the offer is real. you can tell by the way konig’s chest rises and falls, measured and slow, like he’s bracing for something. like he already knows.
your throat feels tight. you think of whatever shitty life awaits you beyond these four wall. you had nothing to go back to. yes, the money would be nice but not as nice as whatever this was. you think of the careful way simon had fed you, the way konig had held you after. you think of the basement—the cold, the dark, the ache of being nothing.
and then you think of this.
the weight of them around you, the heat, the way their touches have started to feel less like a threat and more like...something else. something you don’t have a name for yet.
you press closer to konig, nuzzling into the space between his collarbone and jaw, his mask tickling your nose. his breath hitches, just slightly.
"no," you whisper.
simon exhales against your shoulder, his arm curling tighter. konig’s hand stills on your arm before sliding up to cradle the back of your neck, his thumb brushing the spot behind your ear.
"good choice, princess" simon rumbles, and you hear a rustle behind you followed by a kiss to your shoulder. you lean over to see that he had taken his mask off, it was your first time seeing him without it. your heart catches in your throat, you hadn't expected him to be that attractive.
konig doesn’t say anything. but when you tilt your head up to look at him, his mask is off, his dark eyes softer than you’ve ever seen them. he leans down, pressing his forehead to yours, and you close your eyes and drift off.
the days melt into weeks, then months, then years—each one softer than the last. the basement gathers dust, its door left permanently ajar until one day konig tears it off its hinges and turns the space into a wine cellar. you laugh when simon fills the first rack with cheap beer instead.
their masks stay off more often than not now. you learn the way simon’s nose scrunches when he laughs, the way konig’s eyelashes flutter against his cheeks when he’s fighting sleep. they learn the way you hum when you cook, the way your toes curl when they kiss that spot behind your knee.
mornings find you tangled in their arms, afternoons in the library with your head in konig’s lap as simon reads aloud (badly, on purpose, just to hear you giggle). evenings are spent on the porch, watching the sunset paint the sky in hues of gold and violet, their hands never far from yours.
#fic recommendation#call of duty#call of duty fanfic#call of duty smut#cod#cod fanfic#cod smut#call of duty ghost#cod konig#ghost smut#konig smut
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art, this is
: ̗̀➛ sweet blooming flower
ㅤㅤ ㅤ ₊✩ˎˊ˗ tattoo artist simon 'ghost' riley x reader (extended)
synopsis : Fate is a strange force—pushing a shy, insecure flower into the den of the big, bad Ghost. But with enough dedication and time, that delicate flower can finally bloom perfectly.
cw : angst, smut, body shaming, eating disorders, ex toxic relationship, anxiety, violence, blood mentioned, age gap (reader in mid 20's, simon in late 30's), undertone of daddy kink, chubby and insecure reader. words : 20,3k
ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤmasterlist ⋆ inspo ⋆ ao3
Tears were slipping down your cheeks as you locked the bakery door behind you. The closing shift always did that to you, the quiet, careful way you placed the remaining pastries into small takeaway boxes. Your boss believed it was better for the baked goods to go home with her bakers than to end up in the trash.
But those treats weren’t for you. Not anymore. They hadn’t been for a long time. Not since him.
On the way home, you passed the nearby fire station, gladly handing over the day’s leftover pastries. The firefighters always accepted them with wide grins. They knew the routine—whenever they saw you approaching with boxes in hand, they’d rush over, eager to get their share of the sweet, flaky treasures you brought.
Had you not been so self-conscious, you might have noticed a few of them were actually flirting with you.
Once you got home, you walked straight to the bathroom, undressing in silence, your eyes darting everywhere but the mirror, and never at your body. His words still echoed in your mind, making it impossible not to notice the way your stomach folded when you bent over, the way your thighs and butt creased with cellulite, or how big your arms looked in your shirt today. It was a sight you couldn’t bear.
As hot water trickled down your skin, more tears followed. There was no stopping them now.
He left. He actually left, just like he’d threatened so many times before.
An eight-month relationship ended with a single text that morning. Words you wouldn’t be able to forget : Since you don’t want to understand that I need you to stop neglecting yourself, it’s over.
Neglect. That’s what he always said, claiming you were neglecting yourself because you were a few kilos over what he thought a woman should be. He called himself a "gym bro," though he wasn’t exactly sculpted or strong, he couldn’t even lift you if he tried. But he had defined muscles, and he worshipped them. Killed himself at the gym every day, the only one town, next to the tattoo shop. He was cocky about it, constantly giving you unsolicited advice on how to lose belly fat, what meals to eat to slim down, which exercises would stop your arms from "flopping around" when you moved.
You endured all of it, all the veiled insults and body shaming, because you loved him. He was one of the only men in your life who’d ever given you any attention. He was your second boyfriend, and you’d been so deeply insecure that you fell for the first fucker who batted his eyes at you.
All you had ever wanted was to feel love, to feel seen.
The worst part was, you hadn’t gained weight during the relationship. You had already been overweight when he met you. And he had chosen to be with you. Or at least, that’s what you thought.
A few days after the breakup, you found out the truth, from people you once believed were your friends. He had made a bet with his buddies: that he could sleep with the fat girl from the bar and get her in shape within a year. And when he realized he was going to lose the bet, because no matter what, you weren't turning into the woman he wanted, he broke up with you.
He had never loved you. Never even cared. You had been a joke. A fucking bet.
And that shattered something deeper than you thought was possible.
Fidgeting with your hands, you stared at the plate in front of you. It wasn’t anything special—just some pasta with a bit of ham. A small portion, far less than what you used to eat. Your appetite had shrunk since he dragged you down that dark road, and it had only gotten worse after he left.
Some nights, you didn’t eat at all. Just showered, slipped into bed, and forced your body to lie still. Even when your stomach growled, you ignored it. You’d gotten used to skipping lunch, too.
But it never led to anything. Not a single kilo lost. Because during the day, you had manic episodes, eating everything in sight like you were trying to fill a void you couldn't name. Sometimes you threw it all up within hours. Sometimes it just sat in your stomach, but always made you sick in your head.
The numbers on the scale never dropped.
And the truth was, the real you didn’t even want them to. You’d been okay with how you looked before him. It wasn’t a runway model’s body, but it was yours. It had been healthy. It had been enough.
Now, it was neither slim… nor healthy.
Like always, you took the plate and emptied it into the trash, untouched. Not a single bite.
The plate clattered into the sink, nearly cracking as your trembling fingers let it go. Your hands shook from the sobs wrecking your chest, but also from how weak your limbs had become in the three weeks since the breakup.
You were barely holding yourself together.
And you knew it, you had let yourself spiral down a very dark path. One that was slowly, quietly, killing you.
It was a strange feeling. You’d always thought you’d leave the moment a boyfriend insulted or degraded you. You believed you were stronger than that, stronger than what you turned out to be.
But the truth was different.
You had lacked attention from boys growing up. No one really looked at you. You were always the fat friend, the funny friend, the friend. Never pretty. Never sexy. Never interesting enough.
It took a toll on you, especially as high school ended and you remained the only virgin in your group. While your friends went off to college, experimenting with sex, parties, and boys, you took a job at the bakery. The same one you still worked at, six years later.
So in a way, it was predictable. When the cute boy from the bar approached you, showed interest, made you believe he was in it for more than just sex, you fell. Hard. You wanted to believe it was something real.
Truthfully, your first “boyfriend” hadn’t been any better. He never pretended to care. Once you gave him your first time, he vanished. His reason? I always wanted to fuck a fat girl.
Fat.
That word felt branded on your forehead.
Your mother always told you that you weren’t fat, just chubby. She said it in a way that made it sound cute, harmless, even lovable. And maybe it was. You weren’t anywhere near obese. But in your mind, it felt like you were.
Fat wasn’t just a word—it was a weight, a sentence, a quiet shame that followed you into fitting rooms, into photos, into silence when boys looked past you.
No matter what anyone said, you carried it like a scar only you could see.
Letting out a heavy sigh, you sank back into the chair, eyes closed, trying to will the tears to stop. You still had twenty minutes left on your break.
Gulping down a full glass of water to quiet the gnawing in your stomach, you stepped outside into the small backyard behind the bakery.
Technically, it was your boss’s backyard—she lived in the flat upstairs—but she let the staff use it. It was a welcome escape from the cramped, fluorescent-lit break room. Out here, at least, the rare English sun could warm your face, even if everything else felt cold.
You sat in silence, head tilted up, wishing the sunlight could burn the tears away the moment they surfaced. But it never did.
They always fell.
The rest of your shift was hard, but no harder than the other days. They all blurred together now, each one just as heavy as the last. You weren’t really living anymore—just surviving. And the worst part was, you weren’t even sure why.
The walk home was pleasant enough. The sun was still out, lingering a little longer, casting gold across the pavement. You lifted your face to it, letting the warmth settle against your skin.
On impulse, you decided to take the long way home.
You hadn’t dared to for weeks, not since the breakup. That route passed by the gym where your ex worked out. The same one he had begged you to join. Pushed you to subscribe to. Promised it would “change everything.”
You had been grateful you never joined.
So lost in your thoughts, you almost missed it. Almost.
You stopped abruptly, something catching at the edge of your vision. You turned around.
They were beautiful, the most beautiful flowers you’d ever seen.
And yet, it was just a simple drawing. If you could even call it that. A quick scribble of sunflowers on a sheet of paper, taped messily to the front window of the tattoo parlour. Still, despite its roughness, it stopped you cold.
Just a couple of sunflowers, side by side. The details were rushed, uneven, like it had been sketched in a hurry. Probably tossed up there to draw in a certain kind of customer. You wouldn’t be surprised if it had been stuck there for years, long forgotten and sun-faded.
But to you, it was beautiful.
This wasn’t a new tattoo shop, it had been around for years and carried a certain reputation. People in town whispered about the artist known only as Ghost, an ex-military famed for his harsh, intricate designs: skulls, weapons, bombs—anything steeped in military grit. But what truly set him apart was his skill with scars. He was known for working over them with precision and care, turning what was once pain into something powerful, something claimed.
Veterans traveled from across the country just to get inked by him. Yet no one in town ever really saw him. Ghost, they called him, and the name fit.
He had settled here years ago, but beyond his clients, no one could say what he looked like. The rumours were consistent: a body covered in scars and tattoos, a nose broken more times than anyone could count, and a bluntness that sent most people running. That was all the town really knew about Ghost.
And yet, somehow, he had drawn the sunflowers, the small skull scrawled at the bottom of the sheet was his signature, his mark.
A flicker of movement in your peripheral vision pulled you out of your admiration.
There it was, the neon green wifebeater. That horrible, fluorescent shirt your ex always wore to the gym. You knew it all too well. Too painfully well. You hated it with a quiet fury. Not wanting to face him, you spun around abruptly, your head snapping as you caught the movement. Without a word, you turned and hurried away, taking yet another detour.
You ducked behind the block, your pace quickening. You kept glancing over your shoulder every few seconds, as if he might actually be following you. But you knew better.
He wanted nothing to do with you. He never had.
You were hyperventilating, your heartbeat pounding so loudly it rang in your ears. It was racing far too fast. Panic was settling deep into your bones, tightening its grip with every breath.
More tears gathered in your eyes, blurring your vision. So when you turned your head forward, you didn’t see the man you were about to stumble into. Your panicked mind was confused, convincing you it was your ex, that he was following you, coming to hurt you even more. More insults. More laughter at your naivety.
Your ears were ringing, and you couldn’t make out the words the stranger was saying. You couldn’t even see his face clearly. But you felt something burn the side of your arm—a cigarette, most likely. Which was strange, because your ex didn’t smoke. It didn’t fit his lifestyle. But your panicked mind was too tangled to make sense of anything.
Rushing past the man, you almost fell on the floor from missing the sidewalk, and mostly because of how, in a panic, your legs had become too heavy, ready to let go of your body.
You didn’t remember how you made it home, just muscle memory taking over.
Hours later, you woke up to find yourself lying on the floor in the middle of your entryway. The sun had long since set. You’d passed out the moment you crossed the threshold, your home’s safety stealing away the panic and stress that your tired body could no longer bear.
Your head throbbed, from the fall and the tears. Your body ached, drained and pleading for any kind of energy after being pushed to its limits.
That night, you ate.
It was automatic. You couldn’t do anything else. Eat. Shower. Sleep.
It had been weeks since that day.
It almost felt like a dream now, a blur of memories and trauma, if not for the small, round scar on your arm.
The stranger’s cigarette had left its mark. You knew it hadn’t been intentional, just a moment of bad timing in a chaotic panic. But still, it remained.
It mocked you. A quiet reminder of how twisted your mind had become. Proof of how deeply the fear had settled into your bones. You still couldn’t walk past the gym, not without your chest tightening, your legs wanting to flee. That moment had felt like the end of the world. It had drained you out, body and soul, until you’d had to call in sick the next morning. You stayed in your flat for three days after, unable to move, barely able to breathe.
Now, sitting behind the counter during a slow closing shift, you stared absently at the scar on your forearm, waiting for a client who was already ten minutes late.
And somehow, your thoughts drifted back to the sunflowers. Those pretty, messy sunflowers hanging in the tattoo shop window.
A single idea crossed your mind. Wild. Irrational. Something you would never actually do.
You couldn’t.
It was another thing your ex had wanted to change about you, your routine, your refusal to step outside the familiar. You never strayed far from what you knew. Never looked for a better job, never tried to find a nicer flat. You never chased the things you always said you wanted, like traveling to Scotland, opening your own coffee shop with a bakery, or adopting a dog. They were just dreams, floating around in your mind, never acted upon because they didn’t fit neatly into your routine.
And he hated that. Said you were boring. Bland.
You wouldn’t let him win. You couldn’t keep letting him dictate your life, not after he’d walked away like none of it had ever meant anything. Because to him, it hadn’t.
So when you stood in front of the tattoo shop the next day, you had to remind yourself, this was for you. Not for anyone else. This was your choice, your body, and this would be your mark. A beautiful piece to adorn your hips, because he hated them. And you were tired of hating them too.
Tired of letting him win.
Taking a deep breath, you pushed open the front door of the shop.
It looked exactly how you’d imagined. The walls were dark, lined with harsh, aggressive designs—skulls in every shape and size, weapons, tanks, grenades, and bold, blocky lettering. Classic tattoo motifs were scattered among them too: lions, clocks, roses, eagles. But nothing remotely close to the delicate, forgotten sunflowers in the window.
The bell above the door rang sharply, announcing your arrival.
A single sign greeted you, taped to the wall behind the counter. Thick black marker on plain paper, the writing was a little fancy, almost elegant, like someone trying to show off a bit of flair. The message, however, was blunt.
Don't talk. I heard the door. Sit down and wait.
You obeyed the sign without hesitation, too nervous to do anything else. The waiting area was small, just a battered leather couch and a scratched-up coffee table covered in tattoo magazines and crumpled receipts. The air smelled faintly of antiseptic and old smoke, like the place had absorbed years of ink and silence.
You sat down, trying to steady your breathing, your hands clasped tightly in your lap. The hum of a tattoo machine buzzed faintly in the distance, like a swarm of bees behind the walls. It was the only sound besides the occasional creak of the building settling.
It was all a stupid idea.
You shouldn’t even be here. It was ridiculous. He had been right, you were boring and bland, and maybe that was fine. Safe. Predictable. There was no need to change just to meet someone else’s idea of who you should be. So what were you doing here?
Sure, the flowers were pretty… but this was a tattoo. Permanent. Big. Bold. Everything you weren’t. And what if you couldn’t even afford it? This Ghost was popular, people traveled for him. He couldn’t be cheap.
The panic crawled up your throat again, wrapping around your breath like a vice. Your fingers fidgeted in your lap, nails digging into your palms. You stared down, letting your thoughts twist and spiral until your chest felt too tight and your legs itched to leave.
You didn’t even hear the tattoo gun stop. Didn’t hear the two voices, low and rough, approaching from the back room.
Another thing your ex hated. How easily you slipped away in your head. How you dissociated, zoned out, became unreachable when the world got too loud. Said it made you “weak.” Said it made you “a burden.” You clenched your jaw, blinking hard. You didn’t notice the footsteps until they were right there in the room.
And then, silence.
Looking up, you were met with three men, but one stood out immediately, like a sore thumb.
He was taller, broader, commanding in a way the others weren’t. His arms were covered in tattoos that trailed down to his hands and fingers, dark ink etched into thick skin. His blond hair was cut short, close to his scalp, like a grown-out buzzcut that hadn’t seen a comb in days. His eyes landed on you, curious, confused, and sharp. There was something harsh in them too, like your presence disrupted something, and he didn’t like that. It wasn’t outright anger, but it simmered just beneath the surface.
Still, he was striking. Easily one of the most handsome men you’d ever seen, in a rugged, untouchable way. And judging by his presence alone, there was no doubt—this was Ghost.
The man next to him had kinder eyes, warm brown and alert, framed by thick lashes and a subtle crease at the corners that hinted at easy smiles. He was shorter, leaner, with a trimmed beard and a calm steadiness in the way he held himself. His dark skin was smooth, his features sharp but approachable. There was something disarming about him, like he was used to diffusing tension before it sparked.
And then there was the last one. His eyes met yours like the others’, but there was a gentle smirk playing at the corners of his lips, amused. He didn’t bother hiding it, the moment his gaze landed, he openly checked you out from head to toe, unapologetic and bold. He had that rugged, battle-hardened look, dark hair kept in a weird shape, a faint beard tracing his jaw. His face held the kind of confidence that came from surviving countless fights, both outside and within. A fresh tattoo peeked out from beneath a second-skin plaster on his forearm, barely visible but telling of a story still unfolding.
“Well, LT,” the last one said, his deep Scottish accent rolling around the words, “Looks like ye’ve been hidin’ things, wee bugger.”
The dark-skinned man laughed at the remark while the taller one snapped a deadly glare at the Scot. If looks could kill, Mactavish would have been six feet under by now.
“Fuck off, Mactavish,” Ghost said, pushing the door open for his visitors.
Not even bothering to respond to the rudeness, the two men stepped out of the tattoo shop, whispering and giggling like schoolboys as they glanced back over their shoulders at you one last time.
You admitted to yourself that you must have looked out of place, sitting there in a space so obviously far outside your comfort zone. You wore a simple blue dress, dotted with tiny flowers and birds. Nothing fancy, but enough to hide your stomach, hips, and thighs. Much easier than trousers, at least. It was the kind of dress he’d called “ten years too old”, words that still echoed in your mind.
Before him, it used to be your favourite one.
“What d’you want?” His blunt words cut through the silence, doing nothing to ease your anxiety. His sharp eyes pinned you in place, unblinking and intense.
You hesitated, struggling to find the right words. “Um… I was walking by the other day, and, uh, I saw the sunflowers outside. The pretty ones.”
Your voice was rushed, barely more than a whisper. At the mention of the flowers, his brow furrowed in confusion, his eyebrows shooting up as if you’d just said something absurd.
He turned away, glancing back toward the window, his eyes scanning quickly for the drawing you’d mentioned. It was clear on his face, he didn’t recall ever drawing sunflowers.
You fidgeted with your fingers, your leg bouncing nervously as anxiety gnawed at you.
Maybe he hadn’t drawn it. Maybe it was another artist. But you’d lived in this town for years, and you’d never heard of anyone else. Ghost was the only tattoo artist around.
“Fuck,” he let out with a sigh, walking over to the sunflowers and tearing them off the window. “Listen, darlin’, I don’t do that sort of stuff no more. Look ‘round, find something you like, I’ll do it, but sunflowers? Nah, that ain’t me work.”
Oh no.
This was your worst-case scenario: rejection. Your heart was pounding wildly, feeling like it would burst right out of your chest. You should have known, it was a terrible idea. All the signs had been there.
The place was way out of your comfort zone. So was getting a tattoo. You’d even run into your ex while staring at the flowers. It was like the universe was sending you signs not to do this. But you’d already taken the first step, and now it was turning into a disaster.
You’d been silent far too long, not to mention awkward. Social skills had never been your strong suit, it’d always been a struggle.
“Uh, it’s okay, mister,” you stammered, pushing yourself up from the worn-out sofa, ready to bolt. “I don’t want anything else, really. Just the sunflowers,” you added quickly, your fingers nervously twisting the ring on your middle finger—a stress habit.
His eyes softened a little, noticing the clear discomfort and anxiety etched across your face.
Closing his eyes, he sighed again, not in anger, but in resignation. It didn’t take much, but something about you stirred a strange protective instinct inside him, the same feeling he’d only experienced when his teammates were in danger.
“Alright then,” he groaned, settling behind the desk by the door. He gestured toward the chair on the other side, inviting you to sit. “Tell me where you want it, the size and all that. I’ll have to redraw it. Looks like shit,” he added bluntly, not bothering to hide that the sunflowers were a poor sketch, especially given his skill.
With shy, hesitant words, you explained that you wanted the sunflowers on your left hip. As for the size, you weren’t quite sure, maybe four or five flowers, enough to stretch across the width of your hip.
At the mention of “width,” the way you said it, Ghost twitched ever so slightly. Hatred had filled your voice a little. So that was what this was all about, a tattoo to cover up insecurities. He was no stranger to this. Soldiers came to him all the time for the same reasons—covering scars, quieting traumas, memorializing lost comrades. He was used to pain and healing inked into skin.
But seeing you, a soft, sweet flower like yourself, hating on your body broke his heart. From what he could see, even with the way you tried to hide yourself under that dress, you were exactly his type: all curves and softness, just right to fit into his big, calloused hands.
After gathering all the details you wanted, which weren’t many, he gave you a knowing look and asked, “Got any other tattoos?”
A deep blush spread across your cheeks. It was too easy to read you. You shook your head, unable to hold his gaze for too long. It made you uncomfortable, but in a strangely pleasant way, something new, something you’d never felt before, not even with him.
“Come ’round in a couple days, aye?” he said, glancing down at the sunflower drawing as he thought. Then, looking back up at you, he added, “I’ll have a sketch ready, and if you like it, we can set a date.”
“Yeah,” you sighed, biting your lip nervously. “Okay.”
“’Need time to do something nice for you,” he said with a small smirk. “Wouldn’t wanna fuck it up.”
Your body stayed locked in the chair, and with a nod toward the door, he made it clear you wouldn’t be getting any work done today, not exactly chasing you out, but closing the session gently.
Frowning, you glanced from the door back to him, then at the door again.
“You don’t want a deposit?” you asked, confused.
Glaring past him, your eyes caught the big sign in bold letters: NO DEPOSIT, NO PROJECT.
Knowing exactly what you were staring at, Ghost let out a short laugh. When you looked back at him, you were surprised to find that familiar knowing look shining in his brown eyes.
“Somethin’ tells me you ain’t gonna make me waste my time, flower,” he said, a rare intensity flickering behind his gaze. “Don’t you worry your little head ‘bout that, just come back in a few days.”
And with that, he sent you on your way.
As you stepped outside, your stomach churned, not with anxiety, but with a fluttering swarm of butterflies. A strange, giddy feeling settled over you, sparked by the memory of the man you had just met.
There was something about his quiet dominance, the effortless way he commanded the room. Nothing like anyone you’d ever known before.
And you found yourself longing for more.
Anxiety had been eating away at you in the days following your meeting with Ghost.
In some strange way, you were excited, nervous, yes, but genuinely thrilled about this new thing. It still felt surreal that you were actually going through with it. And then there were his words, echoing in your mind like a quiet challenge: you ain't gonna make me lose my time, flower.
It made you want to prove him right. To please him.
His calm confidence, the way he filled a room without needing to say much, lingered in your thoughts longer than you cared to admit. That deep, gravelly voice of his had sent a shiver down your spine, and every time you remembered it, it happened all over again.
After that encounter, your days had started to feel a little lighter. The dark clouds that usually hovered in your mind seemed to part for longer stretches of time, letting in slivers of calm before the heaviness crept back in—usually around meals. Still, you were more present during your shifts, less likely to break down during your breaks, less caught in the spiral of exhaustion and tears.
But it all felt ridiculous to you. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you could still hear his voice, mocking, condescending. Whispering that it was just the same old story again. That a man had given you a shred of attention, and now you were overthinking like some pathetic daydreamer.
“Little dumb naive girl,” he had once spat, voice thick with hatred and spite.
And despite everything, that voice still echoed.
You heard his voice again the moment you stood in front of the tattoo shop. Your eyes had wandered, unintentionally, toward the gym just next door. That place made your skin crawl. You hated it. Hated the way it made you feel small and enormous at the same time. Hated the way the women walked out—slim, glowing, confident—carrying something you had always been told you lacked.
He used to say he could replace you with any one of them if you didn’t start losing weight. Said they were better than you. Slimmer. Prettier. More dedicated. Then would come the sweet words, how you could be just like them if only. Always the same routine. Break you down, then pretend to build you back up, exactly the way he liked. Like he was doing you a favor.
"Gonna stay out there all day, or you coming in?" The deep voice startled you, cutting through the haze of your thoughts like a blade.
You turned to find Ghost holding the door open, his broad frame filling the entrance. You hadn't realized you’d let a tear fall until the cool air hit your cheek. Quickly, you wiped it away, sniffing once. If he noticed, he didn’t mention it, just watched you with unreadable eyes.
You managed a shy smile, voice barely above a whisper. "Sorry." And with that, you stepped inside, the warmth of the shop swallowing you whole.
The shop was empty. Silent.
It felt almost sacred, like you’d stepped across the threshold of some hidden temple where quiet was a rule, not a choice.
A low groan broke the stillness, followed by a huff as Ghost sat down behind the desk. He sounded like an old man, despite barely looking over forty. You figured the military took its toll, grinding away at a person until even sitting down hurt. That theory was confirmed when his knee popped audibly as he stretched out his legs. Another groan slipped out.
You giggled, just a little. A quiet, surprised sound that escaped before you could catch it.
Ghost looked up at you with one brow raised, catching you mid-mockery. There was no anger in his face, no sharp edge to his gaze, just something unreadable and calm, a small smirk playing on his lips. Still, your chest tightened at the expression.
It mirrored one you'd seen too many times before, except back then it had always come with a bite. With anger. With disgust.
You looked away quickly and sank down onto the old chair without a word.
He said nothing either. Just pulled open a drawer and pushed three pieces of paper toward you. Sketches. Sunflowers.
Each design more intricate and beautiful than the rough draft you’d first seen weeks ago. Sunlight captured in ink. Petals curled with care. You blinked, your throat suddenly tight.
He hadn’t just redrawn the flowers. He’d turned them into something tender. Something yours.
They were all beautiful, but one sketch drew you in more than the others.
It was a single sunflower, its petals open wide in full bloom, surrounded by gently arching leaves and smaller buds just on the verge of flowering. The lines were soft, almost tender, yet precise—each stroke intentional, like every vein on a petal had been studied before being drawn.
What captivated you most, though, was the smallest detail: a single bee, hovering mid-flight near the flower’s heart. Its wings were barely open, caught in that frozen moment of approach, as if deciding to land. It wasn’t just decorative, it was alive with motion, with intent.
It made your chest ache in the best way.
The sunflower stood proud and open, the bee drawn to it naturally—unafraid, unashamed. You saw yourself in that flower. Or at least, who you wanted to be.
It was a very singular design, nothing like the harsh, brutal lines that filled the walls around you. No skulls, no weapons, no eagles with razor-edged wings. Just a bloom, soft and open, alive with quiet strength. It almost didn’t make sense. That a man like him, this towering, intimidating presence wrapped in scars and ink, had drawn something so delicate, so intimate. So… you.
There had been something about you that stirred something different in him, something that made him want to create something truly special, just for you. It was unlike the bold, aggressive lines and masculine designs he was known for. He could do delicate—he’d always had the skill—but he usually chose not to. Until now. And as you sat in the chair across from him, eyes glassy and wide like a startled fawn, he knew he’d made the right call. He’d been right not to turn you away.
The look in your eyes was quietly devastating.
Ghost had spent nearly two decades learning to read people, it had been his job, his survival. And everything about you screamed damage dealt in silence. The way you sat, small and unsure, like you didn’t want to take up space. The constant fidgeting of your fingers in your lap, tugging at your clothes like they might shield you from being seen. The way your voice barely rose above a whisper, like you weren’t sure you deserved to be heard.
He recognized the signs. He’d seen them in soldiers, in strangers, in too many faces over the years. The fallout of cruel words and twisted truths. Of someone telling you you weren’t enough, or worse, that you were too much.
But it was always the same origin, someone, somewhere, had tried to make you small.
A mother, maybe. Or more likely, he thought grimly, a man.
And sitting across from you now, he felt something cold and quiet settle in his chest. Not judgment. Not pity. Just the sharp, familiar awareness that some people carry battles you can’t always see, and you were fighting yours with nothing but a soft voice and trembling hands.
And that, Ghost thought, deserved something beautiful.
“Picked one, flower?” he asked, tone softer now, careful. Not wanting to scare you off. Not wanting to break what little peace you had mustered to sit in that chair.
"Yes, this one," you said, almost too quietly, your finger hovering over the design with the bee. Even though it looked small on paper, you hoped he could make it bigger—big enough to cover the part of your hip you were so desperate to hide.
Ghost glanced at the drawing, then at you, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "My personal favourite," he said, voice low and smooth, before rising from the desk and walking toward the back of the shop. With a practiced motion, he pushed aside the curtain and held it open, looking over his shoulder with an expectant glance, clearly waiting for you to follow.
You hadn’t expected it to happen today. You weren’t ready, not mentally, not emotionally, but your feet moved before your mind could catch up. Hesitating at first, you followed him into the back, unsure of what else to do, heart pounding with a mix of fear and anticipation.
There was no turning back now.
Noticing the way your body language had shifted in an instant, your shoulders tense, your steps uncertain, Ghost let out a low chuckle, trying to ease the tension.
“Relax. Not gonna tattoo you today,” he said, voice calmer than you'd expected. “Just testing out the size, yeah?”
“Oh,” you breathed out, almost like a sigh of relief. “Yeah… yeah, that’s okay,” you added, biting your lower lip, a nervous habit you couldn’t seem to shake.
After he gestured to the tattoo bed, Ghost moved behind the computer, likely resizing the design to fit your hip. The room settled into silence. It wasn’t awkward, at least not on his end, but the quiet gave your thoughts too much room to spiral.
What if he thought you were fat? What if he looked at your body with disgust, just like he had? You reminded yourself this was his job, he’d probably seen hundreds of bodies, maybe thousands. All kinds. Worse than yours, surely. But the thought still clawed at your chest like something sharp and cruel: what if you were the worst of them all?
Especially when the man preparing to see your hips, thighs, and stomach was, without exaggeration, one of the most handsome men you'd ever laid eyes on.
With a few stencils prepared, Ghost stood and approached, ready to test out various sizes.
Not wanting to be in the way, you immediately got up as well, stepping in front of the full-length mirror while he settled onto the stool beside it.
You’d worn another dress today, plain yellow, modest, simple. It reached your knees and clung just a little too snugly around your stomach. It used to fit better. Had you gained more weight again? You hoped not. Maybe it had just shrunk in the wash. That had to be it.
“The left one, yeah?” he asked, not looking up as he carefully trimmed the edges of the stencil.
You gave a soft hum of agreement, your voice caught somewhere between nervous and uncertain. Ghost didn't pause, just wheeled himself around behind you with ease, still focused on cutting. His strong thighs pushed him forward effortlessly in the chair, and for some reason, watching the quiet confidence of that movement sent a subtle thrill down your spine.
"Alright," he said once he’d finished trimming all three stencil sizes. "Pull this up for me, yeah?" He motioned toward your dress, voice casual, efficient—like this was just another task in his day.
And why wouldn’t it be? He didn’t care about your insecurities. He didn’t even know you. You were just another client. You’d come to him for a service, and he was simply doing his job.
Still, your throat tightened as you nodded, swallowing hard. With a deep breath, you slowly pulled your dress up.
"A little more, flower," he said, glancing up quickly while preparing the stencil products, his tone still calm, focused, professional.
Your chest constricted at the request. Your hands trembled slightly, and for a moment you thought you might be sick. But by some miracle of will, you managed to lift your dress a bit higher, high enough that your plain cotton underwear was fully visible.
You felt exposed, hyperaware of every flaw. The natural light from the window beside the table streamed in, illuminating everything.
Panic fluttered in your chest until your eyes darted to the glass, and you realized with a wash of relief that it was treated with a one-way mirror film. You could see the street, but no one could see in.
You flinched slightly when you felt his warm hand settle on your hip, the unexpected contact sending a jolt up your spine. Looking down, you caught a glimpse of how close his face was, far too close for your nerves to handle.
He looked somewhat ridiculous in that moment, crouched down low, the stool adjusted to its minimum height. And still, somehow, he was a giant. He had to curve his broad back just to meet the right angle, shoulders hunched, every movement careful and measured.
"Alright?" he asked, his voice quiet but firm, catching the way your body tensed and the goosebumps rising along your skin.
There was a flicker in his eyes, something more than concern. Ghost had always been a man whose emotions burned low and slow, but now something stirred. A spark of frustration, not directed at you, but at whoever had made you like this. Whoever had taken someone so soft, so lovely, and left them flinching from simple touch.
To him, you were stunning. Like those old Greek goddesses carved in marble, soft, full, timeless. The kind of beauty meant to be admired, not torn apart. It filled him with something uncomfortably close to protectiveness, a simmering anger on your behalf.
And yet, you couldn’t see it. Couldn't see what he saw. And that, more than anything, pissed him off.
"Yeah, sorry," you said quickly, not entirely sure what you were apologizing for. "Keep going." You added the words with a small, tight smile tugging at your lips.
He understood his mistake, he hadn't told you what he was doing. Just like with the vet with PTSD, he needed to explain everything, to avoid catching you off guard.
"This is just so the stencil’s ink sticks to your skin. It’s just a gel, but it’s gonna be cold," he explained, showing you the dab he’d applied to his finger. When you nodded, he began to gently spread it across your skin.
Without realizing, his thumb brushed higher on your hip, nudging your panties up slightly. It was unconscious, just a way to keep the gel from touching the fabric, but it sent your mind spiraling. His fingers felt so good against your skin: soft, careful, like he was handling something fragile he didn’t want to break.
No one had ever touched you like that before. It felt strange, but in the best way, and you found yourself wanting more.
As soon as he peeled the stencil off your skin, your eyes dropped to your hip, and you cringed.
It looked so small against the stretch of skin. He’d used the medium size, but it was still far from what you’d imagined. Barely bigger than your hand, it looked... wrong. Out of place. Like it needed room to breathe, to grow into something more.
“Bigger?” he asked, watching your reaction closely.
You nodded quickly, and he stood without another word, heading back to his desk.
The largest version he’d printed wasn’t much bigger than the one you’d just seen. He’d have to resize it again. As he sat in front of his laptop, he glanced up, just in time to see you frowning at your skin, letting the dress fall back over the spot the second he was no longer beside you. Like you couldn’t bear to look at it alone.
Ghost clicked his tongue and shook his head, disbelief darkening his features.
Whoever made you feel that way, he hoped they were ashamed.
After a few more tries and several rounds of resizing, you finally found yourself staring at the stencil with something like admiration, no longer disgust. He’d added more details with each version—more leaves, more petals—to better match the vision you’d had in your head.
And now, it was perfect. It began just above your hip and flowed down almost to the middle of your thigh. It fit your body like it had always belonged there.
It felt right.
A quiet moment passed, the room still, until the chime of the front doorbell jolted you from your thoughts.
“It’s perfect,” you said at last, your voice soft but certain.
Ghost raised his eyebrows, then offered a genuine smile. “Yeah?” He asked, as if he had been ready to size it up again.
You nodded. “Yeah.”
“Great,” he said, glancing toward the trash bin overflowing with discarded stencils. “Only took, what… seven tries?” he added with a teasing lilt.
“Sorry,” you murmured, guilt creeping in. You felt like you’d wasted his time, been too picky.
“Don’t be,” he said easily, already making a note on the final stencil so he could refine it later. “Tell you what, keep it on for a couple of days. If you still like it, give me a call and we’ll set a date.”
“Okay,” you agreed, letting the hem of your dress fall back down, covering the design once again.
“Perfect, then,” Ghost said, standing with a grunt as he stretched his back. He handed you a small card with his name and number. “It’ll wash off eventually, don’t worry.”
And with that, you were sent on your way—a flower now adorning your hip, waiting to be etched into your skin forever.
A pretty flower for the prettiest, Ghost thought, as he turned to greet his next client.
Sadness settled over you when the sunflower finally faded from your hip.
It had taken about three days. Three days where you couldn't stop looking at it, admiring it in every mirror you passed at home. It had made you feel pretty, maybe for the first time in months. For once, you had felt good in your own skin. And the moment you realised that, you called the tattoo shop, your voice trembling with quiet determination.
You told Ghost you were ready.
He had sounded genuinely pleased, even told you so himself. You set a date—two weeks from now, the only opening he had. He explained it would likely take two, maybe three sessions to complete, each spaced about a month apart.
He also began talking about pricing, but you barely listened. You were so far gone in the process, so invested in this strange little dream, that numbers didn’t scare you anymore. He could’ve asked for two thousand pounds and you still would’ve paid it, no hesitation. Yet he stayed evasive about the exact number.
While he went over the rules, you mostly listened to the sound of his voice. Deep and soothing, it made your stomach twist in a way that had nothing to do with nerves.
“Wear comfortable clothes,” he’d said. “Bring books, music if you want. Drink water. Eat before, and bring snacks too.”
That last part snapped you out of your dreamy fog.
Snacks. You hadn’t had a snack in months. You barely had a regular eating routine at all anymore.
Your anxiety spiked immediately. You fumbled a quiet, “What do you mean?”
He explained gently that tattoos were draining on the body, and he didn’t want you passing out in his shop. That it was important.
You nodded, but deep down you knew you wouldn’t follow that rule. Eating beforehand would be a battle. Snacks were… complicated.
Unknown to you, Ghost quietly made a note to bring some of his own snacks. Something told him you wouldn’t show up with anything. And he wasn’t about to let you faint on his table.
He also wasn’t about to let you slip through his fingers.
He told himself to be patient, to tread carefully, but something in him had already shifted. He was ready to catch you. To keep you close. Warm. Safe.
He had tried to restrain his thoughts during the short time he’d known you. Told himself he was too old, too rough for someone like you. But hearing your soft, fragile voice on the phone, nervous over something as small as snacks, it undid something in him. Broke open a place he hadn’t touched in years.
You needed someone to take care of you. And whether you knew it yet or not, he was already planning to be that someone.
The day of your first session came. By 10 a.m., you'd already thrown up your breakfast—nerves twisting your stomach into knots.
But you needed to eat. He’d told you to eat. And something inside you, quiet but insistent, wanted to make him proud. Wanted to follow his instructions, not out of fear, but out of something softer. Something that felt dangerously close to trust.
So when noon came, you sat down and ate a light lunch. Slowly. Carefully. You even finished it with a small pastry you'd saved from your closing shift the night before. You had another one waiting in the fridge, meant for him.
You’d eaten more than your body had grown used to these past few months. It left you with a dull ache in your stomach and a familiar, rotten urge clawing at your throat, to get rid of it. Purge it all.
But you didn’t.
This morning had been different, your body rejecting food out of sheer stress. But now? If you threw up now, it would be by your own hand. And somehow, you felt like Ghost would know.
Somehow, he’d see it in your eyes. And you couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing him.
You’d chosen another plain dress that morning, simple, soft, something that wouldn’t draw attention. You made sure your panties were in place, covering everything they needed to. Modest. Safe.
Still, the thought of being half-naked in front of a near-stranger made your skin crawl just a little. Not because of him, not really. But because of you, because of how exposed it all made you feel. But you needed this. You needed that sunflower on your hip, something beautiful, something permanent, something just for you.
You could handle a few hours of discomfort. You’d endured far worse for far less. This time, at least, there would be something to show for it. Something that might make you feel like yourself again.
When you crossed the threshold, you didn’t feel nearly as nervous as the first day. There was still tension humming beneath your skin, but it felt quieter now, softer. Familiar, even.
You were supposed to be there by 2 p.m., but you showed up at 1:30. Anxiety had been gnawing at you in your flat, pacing circles in your mind. Better to wait here than there. Your grandma’s voice echoed in your head: “Show up on time and you’re already late.”
It had stuck with you, like most of the things she said.
The sharp buzz of the tattoo machine stopped abruptly. A second later, Ghost appeared, only his face visible behind the half-drawn curtain. His eyes scanned the shop, then landed on you, clearly surprised.
Glancing at his watch, he let out a quiet laugh. “A bit early, flower, aye?” he said, the mockery in his voice softened by fondness. He tilted his head toward the waiting area. “Get comfy, I’m almost done.”
Then he vanished again behind the curtain, and the machine started buzzing once more.
You were left alone with your takeaway box, a simple things that somehow made you feel even more exposed. But you were here. That counted for something.
Twenty minutes later, the buzzing stopped.
You glanced up just in time to see Ghost walking his client out, peeling off his gloves with practiced ease. His expression was serious, sharp eyes fixed on the bulky man who thanked him before heading for the door. “Semper fi,” the man added as he left.
Ghost gave a small nod in response, shutting the register drawer with a decisive click.
“Fucking Marines,” he muttered under his breath, not loud enough to offend, just loud enough for you to hear.
Then his eyes found yours again, and something in him visibly softened. Like a soldier slipping out of uniform. “Come on then,” he said, motioning toward the back room as he held the curtain open for you. His tone was quieter now, gentler. Meant just for you.
You stood, your heart knocking a little too hard against your ribs, and stepped past him into the familiar quiet of the studio.
You spotted the familiar stencil waiting on the small stool next to the mirror, just like last time. Before Ghost could sit down, your nerves got the better of you, and you blurted out, “Brought this for you.”
You handed him the small box, your fingers trembling just enough for you to notice. It was nothing special, just a simple éclair. You’d chosen it because it was safe. Everyone liked éclairs... right?
Well, he didn't like it.
“Thanks, didn’t have to,” he said casually, taking the box from your hands.
He didn’t hesitate to open it, eyes widening as he caught sight of the pastry inside. Before you could brace yourself for rejection, he’d already picked it up, shoved the whole thing into his mouth, and let out a low, guttural moan of appreciation.
“It’s good, flower,” he said through a mouthful, lips curled into a grin. “Made it yourself?”
All you could do was nod, stunned.
It was almost... pornographic, the way he’d eaten it. Like he didn’t care about appearances or manners or calories, just enjoyment. Ghost, with his thick muscles and calloused hands, clearly someone who probably hit the gym daily, had devoured your cake like it was the best thing he’d eaten in weeks. Moaned for it, even.
Your ex had always asked for the ingredients when you baked, always calculating the calories, dissecting the fat content before he’d even touch it.
This? This was something new. This was acceptance. This was appreciation. And it was almost too much.
After washing his hands, Ghost clapped them together once before settling onto the stool beside you, just like last time.
“Shall we get going?” he asked, tilting his head slightly as he looked at you, watchful, calm.
Once you gave him a small nod, he got to work.
“Gonna shave your skin first, alright?” he said, pulling out a fresh razor and a bottle of shaving gel.
He hadn’t told you to shave. You should’ve known, you should’ve looked it up beforehand. Your skin should’ve been smooth already, prepared. Now he had to do it for you, and it felt like you’d already messed everything up.
“Stop,” he said firmly, his eyes focused on your skin as he gently worked the razor over it. “Stop overthinkin’. That’s on me, I forgot to tell you. So just... breathe, yeah? I don’t care. I do this for guys ten times hairier than you, and they don’t lose sleep over it.”
Then stencil was placed with careful precision, exactly where you wanted it. When you approved with a quiet "That’s perfect," he let you lie back on the tattoo table. From there, everything moved with quiet, practiced rhythm.
Gloves. Ink. Needles.
Each item was either unwrapped from sterile packaging or pulled from sealed containers. And for every step, he explained what he was doing.
You listened closely, really listened, with those wide, soft doe eyes trained on him, absorbing each word like it mattered. He noticed that, too. Knew it gave you a bit of comfort. Knew that being informed made the fear quieter. You even stopped fidgeting with your fingers for a few seconds.
“I’m not much of a talker, yeah?” he said while slotting a needle into the tattoo machine. “But you can do whatever. Read, listen to music, nap. I won’t get distracted, don’t worry.”
It was time now. Everything was ready. His voice softened again.
“It might hurt a little at first. Like a few electric shocks. But you’ll get used to it. If you need a break, you tell me, alright? Got the whole afternoon just for you, flower.” He motioned toward a small table you hadn’t noticed before, tucked just beside a door marked PRIVATE. On top sat a neatly arranged water bottle, some juice, a protein bar and bananas.
“Snacks and water’s over there too. No excuses,” he added with a faint smirk, like he already knew you were planning on ignoring that part.
Your heart swelled in your chest. You hadn’t said a word, and still, he’d thought ahead. He’d prepared for you.
You weren’t used to that. Not the consideration, not the gentle forethought. Not someone thinking of what you might need without being told. It caught you off guard in the softest way.
It made something flutter deep inside, something that had been dormant for too long. A warmth that started in your belly and crept up to your chest, into your cheeks. That familiar tingling sensation. You were starting to associate it with him. With the low rumble of his voice, with the way he looked at you, sharp, but never unkind.
It was becoming too common, that feeling. Too easy.
The first few minutes were uncomfortable, your body needed time to adjust to the needle. To the harsh overhead light that seemed to highlight every imperfection. And then there was the smaller lamp strapped to his forehead, casting a focused beam directly onto your hip. His face was so close to your skin, you could feel the warmth of his breath.
His left forearm rested gently on your thigh, solid and warm, steadying himself as he wiped away excess ink with practiced ease, while his right hand moved with careful precision.
He’d started with the sunflower at the center of it all. It wasn’t pleasant, but the pain was manageable. At first, you were too tense to even breathe properly, afraid the slightest movement would throw him off. But after a few minutes, you relaxed enough to pull out your phone and headphones, letting a podcast fill your ears.
The first hour passed like that, calm, almost meditative. A serial killer podcast buzzed in your ears while Ghost worked in steady silence. Sometimes, you’d glance down, watching as the sunflower slowly bloomed on your skin.
But the calm cracked when he asked you to change position, to lie on your side, your back turned to him.
After a few minutes in that position, you couldn’t help it, your hand moved on its own, trying to tug your dress down over your stomach. Ghost gently pushed it back up without thinking, completely unaware of how exposed and uncomfortable it made you feel.
Lying like this felt unbearable. All you could focus on was the cellulite on your thighs, the way your stomach bulged more on your side, how visible everything was under the harsh light. Your mind spiraled. Your body tensed. Without realizing it, you began fidgeting, squirming just enough to make his job harder with each passing second.
And then the voices came back. Your ex’s voice.
Fat. Ugly. Big.
"Okay, let’s stop," Ghost grunted suddenly, pulling away as he set his machine down. "Can’t do anything if you keep moving like that."
Dread hit you like a wave.
You’d ruined it. You’d let him down. He was angry, disappointed, you could see it in his eyes. Your chest tightened as your vision blurred. Tears gathered, hot and humiliating, pooling in your lashes.
Your thoughts scattered, running a mile a minute, grasping for an escape plan. Maybe you could say you were sick. Maybe pretend you were fainting. Anything to get out of this room, this moment, this shame.
You’d never come back. You couldn’t. You’d find another artist to finish the piece, who cared if it wasn’t perfect anymore? You didn’t deserve perfect anyway.
When he got up, pulling off his gloves and tossing them in the trash, it felt like the floor dropped from under you.
Your heart pounded against your ribcage, loud and panicked. Your breathing quickened, shallow and erratic, your palms slick with sweat. You couldn’t even bring yourself to look at him at first. He was mad. He had to be.
Glancing down, you saw how little had been done—the center of the sunflower, a few petals trailing toward your hip, the ones closest to your butt. That was why the position had been necessary. That was why you’d ruined it.
A lump formed in your throat. It hurt.
You were about to sit up and start apologizing, maybe even crying, when he returned, quiet steps, calm energy. He placed a water bottle beside you, then crouched slightly, bringing his gaze level with yours.
“Alright, sweetheart,” he said, voice gentle, like he was trying not to spook you. “Breathe for me, yeah? Just breathe. I'm not mad." You forced your eyes to meet his. He wasn’t lying. His eyes weren’t hard or annoyed, they were soft. Understanding.
"I'm not mad," he repeated, slower this time. “Not at you, anyway."
He opened the water bottle for you without a word, gently guiding it into your hands. “Drink,” he said quietly, his tone firm but not unkind.
You obeyed, taking a few gulps while your trembling fingers gripped the plastic too tightly. He stepped back just enough to give you space, crossing his arms over his broad chest. Normally, a sight like that—his tattoos, his frame, the quiet command of his posture—would’ve made your stomach flutter. But your mind wouldn’t let you feel anything but shame right now. Not when you were half-naked, having a full-blown panic attack in front of him.
Before you could fumble out an apology or excuse, his voice cut through the buzzing in your head.
"I'm taking you out tonight," he said. Not a question. An order. His tone had shifted, gruff, decisive. The same voice, you imagined, that barked commands on the battlefield.
You blinked at him, stunned.
"Nice little restaurant,” he went on. “You’re gonna sit down across from me, and you're gonna tell me about the fucker who put those ugly thoughts in your head. The ones I see behind your eyes every time you look down at yourself, 'right?."
You stared at him, wide-eyed, the words settling like a warm blanket and a shock of cold water all at once. It was too much and somehow exactly what you needed.
He had phrased it like a question at the end, but you knew better. There was no room for doubt in his voice. Not with the way he looked at you, not with the quiet command laced through every word. He had your address anyway. You’d filled it in on the paperwork before he started the tattoo.
“Alright,” he said, final and firm. No room for argument.
The rest passed in silence. Ghost moved with careful efficiency, preparing the second skin while glancing at you with eyes that silently urged, Drink more. So you did.
He let out a soft hum—something like approval—then turned his attention back to cutting the perfect size for the blister shield. Once it was applied over the small section of tattoo he'd completed, sealing the delicate lines and color beneath, he reached forward and gently tugged your dress back down himself.
Once you were both out of the back room, you found the courage to speak. “How much do I owe you?” Your voice sounded pitiful, hoarse from the panic attack, weighted with unshed tears.
“Don’t worry about that,” he answered quickly, without even glancing back. “Be ready at seven, yeah?”
You didn’t get the chance to respond. His warm hand settled between your shoulder blades, guiding you gently toward the exit. Under different circumstances, you might’ve taken it as a dismissal. But after his blunt, unexpected invitation, it didn’t feel like rejection.
“In the meantime, get some rest,” he added softly, pausing before the door. “Take a nap. Eat something. Can you do that for me?”
There was something different in him now. A shift in the air between you. The way he carried himself around you had changed. Less detached, more... possessive. Protective.
You didn’t mind. But the suddenness of it left you reeling, like emotional whiplash.
Still, you hummed softly in response, nodding along like you agreed, like you would do what he asked.
But deep down, you knew you wouldn’t.
Not today. Not after what had just happened. Your body wouldn’t keep anything down anyway, not with the weight of shame and panic still lodged in your chest.
That’s how you found yourself in a cute but upscale Italian restaurant, sitting across from a ghost. No, across from Simon. He had told you his name when you got into his car. The drive had been quiet. He wore the same thing he always did when you saw him: all black.
Except this was a fancy all black—not the comfortable, worn-in black he wore at his tattoo shop.
When you had arrived at the restaurant, you immediately felt underdressed. It was far more elegant than you had imagined. The other women wore cocktail dresses, while you had on your “old woman” dress. One of your favourites, sure, but it felt completely out of place. Like you had just stepped out of a quiet little cottage and accidentally walked into high society.
The first few minutes had been awkward. You didn’t really know what to say, and Simon was watching you with an intense look in his eyes, like he was expecting something.
The smells of the restaurant blended together into something mouthwatering. Your stomach growled loudly in response.
“You didn’t listen, did you?” he asked. His tone wasn’t patronizing, but he had clearly heard your stomach over the ambient noise of the restaurant. When you gave him a confused look, he sighed and spoke again. “You didn’t eat.”
This time, it wasn’t a question. It was a statement, firm and undeniable, leaving you no room to lie.
No one had ever cared whether you ate or not. The fact that he did made something twist inside you. It felt… strange. Unfamiliar. And it sent your anxiety into overdrive. The disappointment in his eyes, the quiet sigh before he spoke—they felt like signs. Signs that you had let him down. Just like you always let people down.
He had been right. You were incapable of taking care of yourself, let alone making someone else happy. In nearly nine months of being together, you hadn’t made him happy. Not once.
“Care to tell me why?” Simon’s voice broke the silence. It was still firm, but there was a gentleness woven into it.
“Took a nap… didn’t have time to—before I had to get ready,” you whispered, almost pathetically. You felt like a child being scolded, like you’d done something wrong.
And in a way, you weren’t lying. You had taken a nap after getting home, right after staring at your new tattoo for a good half hour. When you finally got up, the anxiety hit. Hard. It made eating feel impossible and pushed you to start getting ready far earlier than necessary. Once ready, you just paced around your apartment, running through every way the night could go wrong.
Simon being upset because you hadn’t eaten wasn’t one of them.
That was the moment the waiter chose to arrive at your table, ready to take your order. You had been staring at the menu for a good ten minutes before Simon spoke, yet everything on it felt like too much. That realization hit hard. You used to love Italian food, loved eating out, dressing up, sitting around a table with friends, laughing over shared plates.
Now, you just felt… empty. Like all of that joy had been drained out of you.
Simon ordered first. He asked for three antipasti, one of the biggest pizzas on the menu, and a side of fresh mozzarella, like it was nothing. Meanwhile, you barely managed to mumble a request for a Margherita. The fewer ingredients, the better.
Everything he ordered made your mouth water, but the idea of actually eating made you swallow hard, your throat suddenly too tight.
Just before the waiter walked away, Simon added, “We’ll take your best red wine as well. Bring the bottle.”
Then his eyes were back on you—steady, unreadable, and unwavering.
Once the wine had been poured, it became easier to speak, mostly because its warmth spread through you faster than usual, thanks to the fact that you hadn’t eaten much all day. Conversation flowed effortlessly, like you’d known each other forever.
At first, you didn’t say much. He talked about his old world, because you had asked him why he called himself Ghost. Then he began asking questions in return. Nothing intrusive. Just gentle curiosity: your job, your studies, a bit about your family, the places you dreamed of visiting. Easy conversation. And he listened, really listened. It felt like he actually cared about the answers.
When his antipasti arrived, you kept talking, pausing only when he lifted a fork toward you, offering a bite of caprese salad like he’d done it a thousand times before. You were so surprised, all you could do was open your mouth in response, letting him feed you.
And then he did it again. Casually. Like it was nothing. Sharing everything he’d ordered without comment or ceremony. It was intimate, unexpectedly so, but he said nothing, just kept asking questions, humming thoughtfully at your answers, occasionally offering his own stories in return.
Maybe it was the wine. Or maybe it wasn’t. But you felt the urge to press your thighs together under the table, seeking the smallest bit of pressure. There was something about the quiet confidence of his actions—the way he simply took charge without making a show of it—that made heat bloom across your skin. Your cheeks, your ears, your neck flushed with it.
And he noticed. You knew he did, from the small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. But he didn’t say a word.
He just kept feeding you.
With the antipasti finished, his questions shifted, deeper now. The kind you usually avoided. The kind you never talked about. But there was something about Simon… something that made you feel safe. Protected, even. You knew he wouldn’t mock you. He wouldn’t laugh at you for not leaving sooner. He wouldn’t pity you for still struggling now.
So, you told him. Not everything. You left out the sharpest edges—the outright insults, the way he punched the walls, the time he almost hit you. The way he’d keep pushing for sex even after you said no… until you’d finally say yes, just to make it stop. Those parts still lived in a locked room inside you, sealed tight. You weren’t ready to open that door. Not yet.
But you told him everything else.
And as the words spilled out, you didn’t even notice when your pizza arrived. Didn’t realize you’d eaten more than half of it until your story trailed off and you looked down, surprised. Half gone. In your stomach.
No overthinking. No guilt. No sick knot twisting in your gut.
Just food. Just nourishment. And, for once, peace.
And when Simon offered you a forkful of his pizza, you let him.
He didn’t say much in response to your confession. Just listened, thoughtfully. His fists had tightened under the table when you spoke about the things that bastard used to say about your body. The way he tore you down with words sharper than knives. Simon had suspected your ex had left a mark, especially when he noticed your strained relationship with food, with your body. He’d even gently suggested once that an ex might’ve been the cause.
But he hadn’t imagined this. Not the depth of it. Not how cruel someone could be, how calculated. He had seen things during his time in the military, seen how dark people could get in a warzone. But he never thought he'd come across that same cruelty in civilian life, in someone you once trusted. It made his blood run cold.
So he made himself a quiet promise: to help you find your way back.
No pressure. No rushing.
Just gentle hands and steady praise. A protective presence at your side. Patient and solid. Until, one day, eating a meal didn’t feel like a shameful act. Until your body wasn’t something to battle, but something you could simply exist in, without guilt. Without fear.
Until you no longer felt like trash for giving your body what it needed.
When dessert time came around, you still felt uncertain. Full, yes—but you’d been watching the tiramisu pass by your table all night, carried by waiters like little temptations on porcelain plates. You wanted to try it. Badly.
But it felt wrong.
The thoughts crept in, sharp and familiar. You’ve already eaten too much. You’re already too fat. You don’t need the extra sugar.
Simon’s finished eating anyway, he probably doesn’t even like sweets.
As you spiraled, again—for what felt like the millionth time today—Simon watched you quietly. He’d noticed you eyeing the tiramisu throughout dinner. But now, with the menu back in your hands, your eyes were filled with guilt. Your bottom lip was caught between your teeth, a silent giveaway that your thoughts were turning cruel.
He hadn’t known you long. But you were easy to read. Too easy, even.
So without a word, without needing your permission, Simon stopped the waiter as he passed. “One tiramisu,” he said, slowly taking the menu out of your hands. “Two spoons.”
Another silence settled between you.
“You know you’re gorgeous.”His voice cut through it, steady and sure—taking you completely by surprise. That firm tone was back. “Easily one of the finest bodies I’ve ever tattooed.”
Simon wasn’t poetic. His words weren’t flowery, but they weren’t crude either. Just raw truth, spoken without hesitation. He wasn’t the type to lie to protect feelings. If he thought something, he said it, simple as that.
And right now, he thought you were beautiful.
You let out an embarrassed laugh, your eyes darting to the table, the walls, anywhere but him. He had shown you he was blunt, sure, but this felt unexpected. Too kind. Too generous.
“You don’t have to say that,” you murmured. “Just because you feel bad for me…”
He simply raised an eyebrow, the expression cool and challenging—like he was daring you to keep going.
“Stop thinking you’re in my head, flower,” he said, voice low and steady. “I'm no liar like he was. Not here to play with you. I’d get no pleasure out of that.”
There was no softness in his words, but there was something better, certainty. The kind that didn’t ask for belief, just offered it freely. A quiet anchor in a sea of doubt. And for the first time in a long while, part of you wanted to believe someone.
“I’m past playing little boys’ games,” he added, his gaze steady.
The implication was clear, he was nothing like the others you’d known. More mature. More grounded.
“Okay,” was all you could manage, your voice barely above a whisper.
Too shy to admit you still didn’t quite believe him. Too scared to ask if he really meant it. Too pathetically grateful to even offer a compliment in return.
You’d never been more relieved to see a waiter in your life. He placed the tiramisu gently at the center of the table, setting down two spoons—one by each of your sides.
Looking up from the plate, you watched Simon with wide, expectant eyes. You didn’t even know what you were waiting for, approval, maybe. A signal. Something. And when he gave you a small nod, you finally dug in.
His blood rushed south the moment he realized it, you had waited for his permission to take the first bite.
He'd been right. Spot on.
You didn’t need someone to fix you. You just needed someone steady. Someone to quiet the noise in your head, to give you permission to breathe, to be, until you were strong enough to claim that space yourself.
Simon was more than ready to be that person for you.
And he had no intention of going anywhere.
Steady, firm hands on your hips. That was all you could feel.
You were trying to unlock your front door, but your hands wouldn’t cooperate, shaking too much, fumbling the key. You missed the lock again and again, until a larger, warmer hand gently stilled yours. Simon’s. He took the keys from you without a word, his touch calm, certain.
You weren’t even sure how you’d found the courage to invite him up.
After the shared dessert, he’d paid for everything, brushing off your protests when you tried to cover your half, or at least the part you’d eaten. He’d only laughed, that deep, low sound that seemed to settle right into your chest.
Then he offered to drive you home. You’d accepted.
And once he parked outside your building, your voice had moved ahead of your thoughts, quietly asking if he wanted to come up.
He didn’t hesitate. He just said yes.
The front door finally gave way, and that same steady, gentle hand guided you inside.
Simon didn’t speak. He just closed the door behind him with a soft click, turned the lock, and stepped in. He took off his shoes, shrugged off his coat, all slow, unhurried movements. And then he looked at you.
Not at your apartment, not at the space he’d just entered for the first time.
You. With eyes heavy with desire. Quiet, smoldering intensity.
It wasn’t fleeting or coy. It wasn’t something he was trying to hide behind polite restraint. No, he let it burn, open and unashamed. He wanted you. Fully. Honestly.
And that was new. No one had ever looked at you like that before—not even the two men you’d once shared a bed with. Not like this. To be the object of desire, not obligation or performance, was strange. Disarming. A little overwhelming.
Simon didn’t move. Didn’t rush you. He just stood there, waiting. Letting you decide what happened next.
A few seconds passed. Neither of you said a word.
Anxiety gnawed at your insides, making it impossible to process anything like a normal person. Your fingers fidgeted restlessly, twisting together in a nervous rhythm. You kept glancing up at Simon, then down at his shoes—then yours—then back again.
His eyes never left you. Not once.
You didn’t know how to do this. How to act on your own desire. You’d never felt lust this strong. Never felt safe enough to let it bloom.
“I don’t know how…” you began, voice cracking under the weight of vulnerability. “I’ve never really… hum—”
The words tangled in your throat, burning with shame. Tears prickled at your waterline—tears of embarrassment, of frustration. This was where it ended. He’d leave. You were sure of it.
But then, across the space between you, he growled: “Fuck it.”
And suddenly his lips were on yours—hot, certain, unshaking. His hands cradled your face like you were something precious. Like touching you wasn’t just about want, it was about care. About something deeper.
He didn’t rush. He didn’t devour. He anchored you.
And for the first time in a long, long while, you let yourself lean into that.
His lips felt good, not demanding, not forceful. They weren’t taking. They were offering. Giving only what you were ready to receive.
One of his hands slid from your cheek, fingers brushing down to the nape of your neck. He eased you closer, guiding, never pushing. His other hand found its place again on your hip, grounding you, drawing you gently into his space.
The kiss remained unhurried. Measured. As if time didn’t matter. As if this moment—you—deserved to be savored.
Then his tongue traced the seam of your lips, soft, slow. A quiet question. Not a demand, not a test. Your lips parted before you even realized it, instinct moving faster than thought.
The moment you granted him entry, Simon’s tongue slid against yours with the same care he’d shown in every small gesture tonight. It wasn’t frantic, it was exploratory, reverent. Like he was learning the shape of you through the kiss alone. Like this wasn’t just about pleasure, but presence.
Being here. With you.
His hand at the back of your neck shifted slightly, his fingers threading into your hair, cradling your head with firm tenderness. The other remained firm on your hip, his thumb drawing slow, grounding circles against the fabric of your dress. It sent sparks up your spine, the contrast of restraint and intention making your knees wobble.
You made a soft sound in the back of your throat—part surprise, part want—and he responded with a low hum, deep and approving, vibrating against your lips like a secret shared only with you.
There was no pressure in it, no rush to pull you further than you were ready to go.
Just Simon, steady and real, kissing you like he could piece back together everything someone else had broken.
Simon’s back was starting to ache from leaning over, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, both of his hands slid lower, settling just beneath the curve of your ass. He gave you a light tap. Silent instruction : jump.
He should’ve known that kind of command would short-circuit your brain. And it did.
But before your thoughts could spiral, before shame or self-consciousness could take the wheel, he moved. Reflexes faster than your fear.
One moment, your feet were on the ground, the next, you were lifted easily into his arms, legs instinctively wrapping around his waist.
“Simon, no… Please,” you rushed out, voice high with panic, your hands pressing against his shoulders in a weak attempt to get him to let go.
“Please what, lovely?” he murmured against your skin, his lips brushing along your cheek, your jaw. Soft kisses. A grounding rhythm. Each one whispered reassurance: You’re safe. I’ve got you.
“You’ll hurt yourself,” you whined, the words thick with guilt, not logic. You wriggled again, but he only held you tighter, firm, but never harsh.
“I’ve carried more than you in full gear, uphill, under fire,” he muttered, voice a low rumble against your throat. “Trust me, flower—you’re the lightest thing I’ve ever held.”
You stilled. Breath catching.
Because it wasn’t just what he said. It was how he said it—like it was fact. No room for doubt. No softness in the truth, only strength. He was slowly coaxing you exactly where he wanted you, you let him. You wanted to let him.
"Naive", the word hit like a slap. Not Simon's, but his voice echoed in your head.
Simon must’ve felt the shift in your body instantly. His mouth paused against your skin, his breath stilling where it ghosted across your collarbone.
“Breathe,” he instructed softly. “Feel this. Me. Here.”
He knew, you didn't need to explain, not after all you had told him. He knew your brain was playing tricks with you, trying to get you out of this moment. He wouldn't let it happen.
Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt as Simon turned, carrying you effortlessly through the apartment. He didn’t ask where your bedroom was, just moved like he already knew, confident and unhurried, every step measured, deliberate.
The soft creak of your bedroom door opening sounded loud in the quiet, and then he was lowering you onto the bed with a care that made your chest ache. Like you were something breakable. Like he wanted to make sure you didn’t break again.
His hands didn’t leave you once your back hit the mattress. One stayed at your waist, the other brushing a strand of hair from your cheek. His eyes searched yours, reading you like only someone truly paying attention could.
“It’s just me, love,” he whispered, careful not to startle you. He took one of your hands in his and gently placed it over his pounding heart. It was racing, not as fast as yours, but definitely quicker than normal.
He wanted you. Just as much as you wanted him.
You nodded softly, taking a deep breath before releasing it. Ready to move forward, but needing him to lead, and he did exactly that.
Kissing you again, Simon eased your legs open with his knee, settling himself comfortably between them. The simple movement drew a soft, whined moan from your lips. A low chuckle escaped Simon’s mouth at the sound, but then he kissed you once more, with renewed fervour.
Once his kisses left your mouth, they trailed slowly down, lingering at your neck. He took his time there, planting sweet, deliberate kisses, mixing in the occasional nip that made your breath hitch. Reaching your cleavage, Simon continued his path, dotting kisses over the soft skin exposed by your dress.
When he reached your breasts, he kissed them gently through the fabric of your bra, soft little pecks that made your skin burn. Then came your nipples, stiff and sensitive under the thin fabric. He didn’t ignore them, his mouth found them with teasing precision, the heat of it sending a jolt straight through you.
The soft sounds he coaxed from you were divine. Too shy, too hesitant—but beautiful nonetheless. Still, he knew. He could unlearn that shyness from you. Teach you how to let go. How to let yourself be.
“Gonna take this off, alright?” he asked, voice low but steady. Just like when he worked on your tattoo, he explained each step. No surprises. No pressure. Just care.
Your eyes were shut tight, almost like you were trying to disappear. Simon sighed softly and rose up again, cupping your cheek as he looked down at you.
“Look at me,” he said—sharper than he intended, but it worked. Your eyes snapped open, wide and uncertain. “When I ask you something, I need words. Understand?”
You nodded reflexively.His head tilted slightly, eyes narrowing.
“Yes,” you added, voice barely above a whisper.
“Yes, who?”
“…Yes, Simon.”
That would do—for now.
You weren’t ready to give the answer he truly wanted—not yet—but he’d tried, just to see if it would come naturally to you. It hadn’t. Still, he didn’t hold it against you. He knew it was there, buried deep inside—the part of you that needed to give in, to trust, to let someone else lead.
But he wouldn’t push.You weren’t ready. And he understood exactly why.
He hadn’t earned it yet. Hadn’t proven he was worthy of that part of you, the most vulnerable one. But he would. He had every intention of showing you, again and again, that he could be trusted to hold you, protect you, guide you… without ever taking more than you were ready to give.
"Good girl," he murmured, voice low and deliberate, before his hands slid to your shoulders, pushing the dress down slowly. It pooled around your waist before you kicked it off with your legs, landing somewhere across your bedroom floor.
Now you were left in the fanciest panties and bra you owned, still just plain cotton. Comfortable, with a subtle push-up effect. Nothing seductive by conventional standards. Not lacy. Not sheer. You felt suddenly self-conscious, convinced you must look like a granny in Simon's eyes.
“Cute,” was all he said, with a soft grin, before kissing the doubt right off your lips.
His fingers trailed deliberately along your sides, over your stomach, until they found their way back to your breasts. He eased the cups of your bra down, exposing you fully, and cupped one in his large hand. It fit perfectly—so perfectly that he let out a low groan against your skin. The sound sent a shiver down your spine and a hot pulse between your thighs.
You could feel it now, just how soaked your panties had become. You’d never been this wet before, never felt this… eager. Sex had always felt like a duty, something to endure. But now?
Now, you were starting to understand why some people craved it, why they ached for connection, for touch like this. For someone like him.
The warmth of his hands, the way they moved so gently over your chest—fingertips tracing, teasing, coaxing soft whimpers from your lips—was nothing short of euphoric. Each delicate pinch of your sensitive nipples sent sparks across your body, grounding you and overwhelming you all at once.
"Can I?" he asked again, voice barely more than a breath. His hand hovered at the clasp of your bra, seeking permission rather than just taking.
"Yes, Simon," you whispered—no, whined—the need threading through your voice.
"Good girl," he rewarded you, and the phrase made something melt inside you. The words hit somewhere deeper than just your ears. They reverberated through your chest, made your thighs shift involuntarily. You didn’t even try to suppress the noise that left you this time.
There was just something about the way he said it, like he meant it. Like you were doing something right simply by being here, by letting him in. Like you didn’t have to perform, or prove anything. Your thoughts blurred, the inner voice that so often berated you now silenced by something quieter, kinder. Something like safety.
With your bra gone, Simon took his sweet time with you. His hands and fingers explored your chest before his mouth joined in. He pressed soft kisses to your skin, occasionally nipping and sucking gently, leaving behind traces of his presence. Little hickeys bloomed across your breasts—marking you so quickly, it made Simon's blood rush south even faster.
Then his tongue found one of your nipples. He licked it slowly, toying with the hardened peak in his mouth, gently sucking while his hand fondled the other breast, fingers moving in lazy, tender circles.
The sensations were surreal, too much and not enough all at once. Your body moved instinctively, hips shifting, trying to grind against Simon’s in vain. Until he shifted, sliding one of his thighs between your legs, pressing it against your clothed pussy.
The moan that escaped your lips then was nearly pornographic.
"Sorry…" you whispered, your breath shaky.
That stopped him cold. His movements stilled as he looked up at you. He took in your flushed cheeks, the rise and fall of your chest beneath his hands. Up until now, he’d thought you were enjoying this.
"What for, sweetheart?" he asked gently, worry threading his voice. A part of him feared you were hiding discomfort for the sake of his pleasure.
"The noises… I'm sorry," you said quickly, already breathless. "I'll be quiet now."
Simon’s gaze darkened, not with anger, but with something heavier, deeper. He leaned in, his lips brushing your ear as his voice dropped, low and steady.
“No,” he said firmly, leaving no room for argument. “Don’t apologize for that.”
His hand slid up your side, grounding you, reminding you of the way he touched you like you were something precious.
“I like those sounds,” he murmured, his tone commanding but tender. “They tell me what you like… what feels good. Don’t ever hide that from me.”
He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his thumb brushing gently over your cheek. “I want to hear everything—every moan, every gasp. They're mine, sweetheart. Don’t you dare keep it from me.”
The way he reassured you—with that quiet, unshakable dominance, the kind of confidence that came so effortlessly to him, did something to you. It tugged at something deep, something vulnerable and aching, something that craved to be undone.
You felt it in the way your body responded, heat pooling low in your belly, your thighs tightening around his. That calm authority in his voice, the certainty in his touch, it made you feel safe. But it also made you feel desperate. Desperate to give in, to let him have every part of you.
Something inside was ready to snap. Ready to break wide open for him. Ready to surrender completely to whatever he wanted.
And he knew it. You could see it in his eyes.
His lips curved into a slow, knowing smile as he leaned in again, his breath warm against your neck.
“That’s it,” he whispered, voice like velvet and command all at once. One of his hands slid down between your thighs, pressing just enough to make your hips twitch in response. “I’ll take care of you,” he promised, kissing the corner of your mouth. “All you have to do is feel.”
When he kissed you again, his fingers were already moving, gently caressing you over your knickers. He had to feel how soaked they were, how your body betrayed just how much you wanted him. But there was no teasing in his eyes, no smugness in his touch. No mockery. Just more kisses, slow and tender, his lips claiming yours again and again while his fingers toyed with you, patient and precise.
Then his mouth returned to your breasts, as if he hadn’t quite satisfied his hunger for them. He began his worship all over again—kisses, licks, gentle bites—while his fingers never lost their rhythm.
And then they slipped past the edge of your panties.
A quiet gasp escaped you as his fingers moved with confident ease, parting the fabric and exploring your most intimate place. He passed over the little patch of hair you hadn’t bothered to shave, never imagining you’d end up here, under him like this. But he didn’t hesitate. In fact, his fingers slowed, twirling gently through it for a brief moment, appreciating the softness, the realness of you.
And then he moved lower, fingers finally finding where you needed him most. Where your body ached for him.
Feeling your wetness, Simon's teeth clamped down gently on the nipple still in his mouth, a careful, deliberate bite that made you arch into him with a soft gasp. He soothed it immediately with his tongue, warm and slow, like a silent apology laced with intention.
This was all he wanted: you comfortable, safe, utterly undone beneath his touch. Every movement he made, every kiss and stroke, was filled with purpose. He wasn’t just touching you—he was learning you. Mapping every reaction, every breathy sound, storing it all away like sacred knowledge.
You could feel it in how he handled you, like you were something precious and wild at the same time. And he was determined to take his time taming every inch of you.
When you let out a frustrated whine, Simon knew—it was time to move on.
He placed two tender kisses, one on each nipple, a soft farewell to the attention he’d been giving your chest. Then, slowly, deliberately, he began to trail kisses down your body. Each one slower than the last, deliberate and reverent, until his mouth reached the hem of your panties.
His fingers, once exploring your soaked core, now gripped your thighs, firm and commanding, holding you open for him.
With a wicked glint in his eyes, he caught the edge of your panties between his teeth, tugging them gently as he murmured, “Is this—”
“Yes, Simon, yes… please,” you breathed out, cutting him off, your voice trembling with desperation and need. There was no hiding it, no pretending. The ache in your voice was raw, real, and it hit him like a pulse of electricity straight to his cock, making it twitch painfully in his pants.
He chuckled low in his throat, voice thick with heat and pride. “Good girl,” he whispered. “That’s what I like to hear.”
There was just something about the fact that he was still fully dressed and you were now completely naked. A weird sense of submission overflowed you, and for the first time when this feeling came to you, you embraced it.
Simon made you feel safe, so protective. Something in you knew he would stop if you told him to, that he wouldn't force you to do anything you weren't ready or attracted to. Surely why you were now soaked from his actions.
Insecurities still clung to you, gnawing at the edges of your mind as Simon's eyes swept over your naked body, slow, lingering, reverent. You felt exposed, completely bare before him, vulnerable in a way that had nothing to do with nudity. And yet, in his gaze, there was no judgment. Only hunger. Admiration. Like he was about to devour the finest meal of his life.
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, one hand palming at the bulge in his pants. It was getting tight—painfully so—but he didn’t look away from you for a second. His arousal was obvious, but even that didn’t quiet the voice in the back of your head. That old, familiar one.
The reflex hit before you could stop it.
“You want me to suck your dick?” you asked quietly, the words slipping out not from desire, but from conditioning. From a past where your worth felt tied to what you could give, not what you could feel.
Simon froze. His eyes met yours, and in an instant, something shifted. He saw it, not just the question, but where it came from. The old wound behind it.
“Hey,” he said gently, but his voice carried that same commanding edge. One hand reached out, cupping your cheek, grounding you. “Look at me.”
You did.
“You don’t owe me anything,” he said firmly. “Not your mouth, not your body, nothing. I want you, yeah. Badly. But I don’t want you because you think you have to do something to keep me interested.”
His thumb stroked your cheek, softening his tone. “If you ever get on your knees for me, it’s gonna be because you want it. Because you’re desperate to taste me, not because some asshole made you feel like it was expected. Okay, sweetheart?”
Something in you cracked at his words, not in a way that broke you, but in a way that made space. For breath. For feeling. For safety.
For the first time, you felt seen. Like he chose to want you, not for what you could give, not for how you performed, but simply for who you were.
Sitting back on his haunches, Simon remained patient. He could see the storm behind your eyes, the internal battle waging quietly inside your mind. One of his hands rested on your thigh, his fingers tracing slow, soothing patterns—a silent way of grounding you, anchoring you to the moment.
But when he saw your lips tremble, your eyes begin to fill with tears, he knew he couldn’t stay still.
He leaned in without a word, wrapping one strong arm around you and gently guiding you onto his lap. His warmth enveloped you, your bare skin brushing against his still-clothed body, a contrast that made you shiver.
Simon felt it, and without hesitation, he tugged his shirt off in one smooth motion. The heat of his skin met yours, bare chest to bare chest, and you exhaled like you’d been holding your breath for hours.
Your arms wrapped around him before you even knew you were moving, burying your face into the curve of his shoulder. He smelled like warmth and safety, like skin and musk and something undeniably him.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, the words instinctive.
“Don’t be,” he replied immediately, pulling back just enough to look at you, his eyes intense but soft. “Stop apologizing.”
His bare skin against yours sent another shiver through you, this one different. Not from nerves, but from the quiet, overwhelming intensity of being wanted and held at the same time. You could feel his desire beneath you, pressing up where he had you seated on his lap. It was raw. Primal. Undeniable.
But Simon didn’t rush.
He simply held you, one hand tracing slow, absentminded circles along your lower back, the other cradling the back of your head, like you were something fragile, but never weak.
You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, wrapped in warmth and quiet understanding. But eventually, stillness wasn’t enough.
Your lips began to move, seeking, remembering. You started at his jaw, pressing soft kisses there, then down to his neck, his collarbone. You kissed every small scar, every freckle, every beauty mark. As if your mouth was memorizing him. As if your lips were begging to remember his skin.
Sensing your need, your craving for more than just touch, for connection, Simon pulled you in closer, pressing your body against his like he wanted to mold you to him. Like even skin-to-skin still wasn’t enough.
He dipped his head, his voice low and careful. “Got any protection, sweet girl?”
He didn’t want to break the moment, didn’t want to pull you out of the space you were both sinking into.
But your lips never stopped their slow, tender assault on his skin, your mouth mapping his shoulder, your breath warm against his neck. You didn’t lift your head to respond. Just a faint shake, a soft, muffled “No…” against his throat.
He felt the word more than he heard it. And still, he didn’t pull away.
With a low groan, Simon stood, holding you tightly against him as he moved toward the entryway. Your legs wrapped around his waist, clinging to him, squeezing just enough to pull a breathy moan from his throat. He’d half-expected some kind of protest about him lifting you, some insecure remark—but you said nothing.
You were deeper in your headspace than he’d realized.
You just kept pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses along his neck and collarbone, little whines slipping from your lips like they couldn’t stay caged. You were pliant in his arms, needy, trusting, and it lit something fierce in him.
Reaching the coat rack, he shifted you just enough to dig into his coat pocket, fingers searching until they closed around his wallet. He flipped it open, fishing out the small stash he kept tucked inside. Three condoms.
Just in case.
He had never been more grateful for his own foresight than now. He grabbed all three, not knowing if they’d need them all, but hoping they might. Better safe than sorry.
Whatever you wanted, he'd give it to you. However you needed him, he’d be there. No hesitation.
Once you were back in the bedroom, Simon gently laid you down on the bed, breaking the contact between you, just long enough to strip off the rest of his clothes. He had wanted to take his time with you, to worship you with his mouth and fingers, to ease you into it with care and patience.
But he could feel that wasn’t what you needed right now. And that was okay. That could wait.
He wasn’t going anywhere.
For a moment, he just looked at you, laid out on the bed, bathed in soft light, looking almost ethereal. It hit him then, how surreal it was. That you were here with him. A sweet, young thing like you tangled up with a man like him—older, scarred, and worn at the edges.
It almost felt twisted. But it wasn’t.
Because he could see it, you needed this. Needed him. His steadiness. His patience. His hands that knew how to hold without hurting. His body that knew how to move with purpose, not just urgency. You needed someone who could see past the surface and let you unravel safely.
And maybe, just maybe, he needed it too. Maybe he was a little selfish in that way.
Crawling back over you, Simon kissed you again, slow, deep, like he had all the time in the world for you. The second you felt his warmth again, your legs locked around his hips, arms winding around his neck like instinct. Like some part of you couldn’t stand the idea of being apart from him for even a second.
There was something in your brain, an ache, a need, that clung to him with a desperation you didn’t fully understand. The part of you your ex always mocked. Called naive. Called needy. The part he tried to shame out of you.
But with Simon, that part felt… right.
It felt like maybe this was how it was supposed to be. Like Simon had been meant to walk into your life now, of all times, when you needed someone steady, someone who saw you, not just used you.
So when you watched him roll the condom on with glazed eyes, you thought this is it. He’s finally going to fill you, press into you, anchor you. But instead… he shifted.
He laid back, tugging you with him until you were straddling his soft stomach, your thighs spread over his warmth.
Confusion flickered across your face as your hands settled on his chest, fingers curling slightly to squeeze the soft skin of his pecs. You looked down at him, unsure.
And then his voice—rough, low, but gentle. “Want you like this, yeah?” His hands rested on your hips, not guiding, just holding. Grounding. “So you can control it. Take whatever you want.”
That took your breath away.
The fact that he, a man who radiated dominance and control with every breath, was giving you the reins… it made your thighs instinctively tighten against his sides. It felt overwhelming in the best and scariest way.
You had never had the upper hand in sex before. Never been given the space to explore, to move at your own pace. To feel. It had always been about someone else’s pleasure, someone else’s needs. And just like that, this man you barely knew was handing over the power you’d never been allowed to hold.
“I’ve never… I don’t know how to do this,” you murmured, voice barely more than a whisper, shame creeping in uninvited. “I’ll mess it up,” you added, beginning to shift, to pull away from him.
But Simon didn’t let you.
His hands tightened at your sides, not rough, not demanding, just steady. Grounding. “You won’t,” he said, voice low but firm. “It’s not that hard, yeah? Just do what feels good.” Then, softer, he added. “Bounce. Rub. Sit still. I don’t fucking care. Whatever you want, ’m yours to use.”
With those words, Simon reached between you, wrapping his hand around his cock and gently encouraged you upward onto your haunches. Just enough for him to line himself up with your entrance.
As you lifted off his stomach, he felt the heat and slickness you’d left behind, and the sight alone made his cock twitch in his grip. He hadn’t been this hard—this desperate—in a long time.
Still hesitant, you hovered there, uncertain. That was when he casually rolled the tip of his length up from your entrance to your clit, slow, like it wasn’t intentional. But you knew better. You saw it in his eyes: that flicker of reassurance hidden beneath heavy, lust-filled lids. A silent, steady You’ve got this.
You inhaled sharply, gathering yourself, and slowly—carefully—began to lower onto him. He was bigger than what you were used to. Girthier. More there. But as he stretched you open, bit by bit, something surprised you.
It didn’t hurt.
It felt uncomfortable a little, full, yes—but there was no sharpness, no sting. Just pressure. Just him. When you finally settled fully onto his pelvis, your walls fluttering around him as your body adjusted, you looked down at him with wide, amazed eyes.
“Doesn’t hurt,” you whispered, a hint of wonder in your voice, as if you couldn’t quite believe it.
Simon swallowed hard, his hands now splayed at your hips, holding you in place like you were something precious. His voice was low.
“Shouldn’t hurt, baby,” he said, voice rough with restraint as your heat pulsed around him. “Never.”
You nodded softly, almost to yourself, as his words settled deep inside you. Shouldn’t hurt. Maybe it was the first time someone had ever said that to you. Meant it.
Your palms pressed gently against his chest, feeling the steady thud of his heart under your fingers. You took a deep breath, and then moved. Just a small shift of your hips at first. A slow grind, barely more than a sway. You weren’t even lifting off him yet, just adjusting, testing. Simon’s breath hitched beneath you, his hands tightening slightly on your waist, encouraging but never forcing.
“That’s it, good girl,” he murmured, voice filled with lust. “Just like that. You’re doing so good for me.”
That praise, so simple and steady, made something bloom in your chest. Your body responded on instinct, hips lifting slightly, then pressing back down, gently, carefully. The sensation dragged a quiet breathy moan from your lips.
He filled you completely, the stretch no longer strange but grounding. Your movements grew braver, more curious—lifting a bit higher now, then dropping back onto him with a gasp. He grunted below you, the sound of his pleasure feeding your own.
“Fuck, sweetheart… just like that,” he growled, voice rough with want but still wrapped in something tender. “Take your time. This is all yours.”
You believed him. Just by the way he was looking at you, you knew he wasn't lying.
It felt so good, you just kept moving, bouncing slowly on him, taking your time, savoring every deep, delicious drag of his cock inside you.
Simon’s hands were everywhere now. One cupped your breast, fondling it in his broad, calloused palm. He pinched and rolled your nipple between his fingers, gentle but firm—drawing out soft gasps from your lips. The other hand had settled low on your stomach, pressing down slightly, as if trying to feel himself through the soft give of your belly.
That should’ve sent you spiraling. His hand, there, touching all the places you’d been taught to hide, to apologize for. The softness. The rolls. The parts you always kept covered.
But nothing happened. No shame. No recoil.
Because you were too far gone, in the best way. Lost in the headspace he had so carefully coaxed you into. A place shaped by Simon’s hands, his voice, his praises. His quiet, steady worship. And when he realized it didn’t make you flinch, didn’t make you pull away, he smirked. Just a little.
That was when he knew he had you exactly where he wanted you: safe, open, adored.
Slowly, the hand on your stomach began to travel lower, fingers dragging over overheated skin until his thumb found your clit. One gentle stroke, and your thighs clamped tighter around him. Your eyes flew open with a gasp.
And the sight that greeted you? It stole your breath.
Simon, his chest slick with sweat despite barely moving, stared up at you with eyes full of silent declarations: hunger, admiration, awe, lust. His jaw was tight with restraint, his body trembling slightly beneath yours.
It was a miracle he was still letting you lead, still lying there, letting you use him.
Another brush of his thumb over your clit, slower this time, and your arms gave out. You collapsed onto him with a broken moan, your chest pressing into his, your sweat mixing with his. And then that sound—deep, low, sinful—a chuckle rumbling from his chest.
The hottest thing you’d ever heard.
A sweet kiss pressed gently to your cheek, followed by the filthiest words whispered into your ear.
"Want daddy to take over now, sweet girl?" he growled, voice low and rough against your ear.
The most pathetic whine slipped from your lips, your thighs and pussy clenching harder than ever around him. Your nails dug deeper into his shoulder, scratching through his skin, even breaking it slightly.
Yes, he knew it was in you. He had seen it, that desperate need to be pampered, to be taken care of. To turn off your mind and simply feel. The fact that you trusted him so quickly was worrisome, but in this moment, Simon didn’t care.
“Yes, yes, please,” you whimpered again, breath heavy against his neck.
“Yes who, baby?” he taunted, ready to give you everything—you just needed to say it.
"Yes, daddy." You finally let out.
"Good girl."
Then his hips began moving, faster than the steady pace you had settled into before. He held you close, whispering praises into your ear: how good you felt, how well you were doing, how beautiful and soft you were. His words kept you suspended in that hazy headspace, even more so when he hit that spot nestled deep inside you, the very spot that sent thrilling waves up your spine.
His hand, the one not tracing soothing patterns on your back, returned to your clit, fingers expertly working until your pleasure started to overwhelm you. Your brain struggled to keep up with what was happening. It was all too much: the warmth of his skin against yours, the relentless thrust of his hips, his gentle caresses on your back, the low groans and grunts he breathed right into your ear.
As if he could feel it—and you were sure he could—he groaned.
“Just let go, yeah?” His voice was deep, steady, and it triggered something deep within you. “I’ve got you.”
That was all it took. The mix of his voice, his thrust and his thumb on your clit.
Something in your lower belly snapped, a heat bursting through you as your body trembled uncontrollably. The moan that tore from your throat was filthy, unrestrained, your mouth falling open as drool slipped onto Simon’s chest.
“That’s it. Good fucking girl,” he growled, his own movements turning rough and erratic.
By the time your senses returned, he was still inside you, moving with a slow, languid rhythm—like he couldn't bear to let you go just yet.
And then something else cracked open inside you. Sobs began to wrack your body, sudden and uncontrollable. You didn’t even know why you were crying. It just came, natural, raw. A release. All the pressure you’d buried for months, the cruel voices still echoing in your mind, the quiet loathing you’d carried for so long.
Your body, your mind, your soul, they were healing. And it was overwhelming.
Still, he didn’t stop. The slow thrusts continued, as did the gentle caresses across your skin. He pulled you even closer, grounding you, holding you through it. Letting you feel. Letting you find yourself again.
“That’s it,” he whispered, lips brushing against your temple. “Just let it all go, sweetheart.”
“I don’t know what’s happening,” you choked out between sobs, the tears impossible to stop.
Simon didn’t say a word at first. He just held you tighter, cooing softly, shushing your worries with gentle sounds. He let you have your moment, no pressure, no questions, just grounding you with the steady comfort of his presence.
It was his way of telling you he was here.
That he wasn’t going anywhere.
That you were okay. That you were enough.
Lying there felt almost therapeutic.
The soft buzzing of the tattoo machine was familiar now, comforting, even, as you closed your eyes and let yourself breathe. You’d been here for hours, finally ready to see the tattoo in its full form.
Months had passed since that first night with Simon. Months filled with quiet dates, focused attention, and earth-shattering sex. But more than that, he made you feel like you again. The dark thoughts still came and went, shadows that never fully left, but Simon was always there—steady, patient—silencing them with his presence.
So now, nearly bare in Simon’s tattoo shop, his arm awkwardly bent across your stomach as he worked on your skin, you felt nothing but warmth and want. Your fingers trailed unconsciously along his forearm, soft touches that spoke louder than words. Your thighs pressed together, the ache beneath your skin growing.
Simon let out a breathy chuckle at the movement, but said nothing. He’d been the one to coax you into rediscovering your body and your wants—he wasn’t about to make you feel ashamed of them now.
The bell above the shop door chimed, drawing your gaze to the curtain. It was almost closing time. You silently hoped Simon hadn’t booked another client, you had other plans for the night. Judging by the slight frown on his face as he glanced toward the sound, you guessed he hadn’t expected anyone else, either.
Still, he turned back to your sunflower.
When he was finally done, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the healed part of the tattoo, his hand warm as it patted your stomach.
“All done, baby. Go take a look,” he said, peeling off his gloves and turning around to prep the second skin.
It felt like déjà vu—but this time, there was no shame in your chest, no tears waiting to fall. Just you. Whole, and wanting.
The sight took your breath away.
It was beautiful. Perfect, even more so when tattooed arms snaked around your waist, and the big man attached to them pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder.
“So,” he murmured near your ear, voice low and smug, “what’re you thinking? ’Cause if you ask me, I’d say that’s my fucking masterpiece, aye?” A smirk tugged at his lips.
“It’s so beautiful, Si,” you whispered, turning to pepper his face with kisses—anywhere your lips could reach. “Even better than I imagined.”
“Alright, alright, little minx,” he chuckled, gently guiding you back. “Stay still a little longer, yeah?”
He dropped onto the stool again, rolling back toward the second skin before returning to you. Your eyes followed the flex of his thighs as he moved, which didn’t go unnoticed, another soft laugh rumbled from his chest.
Once the bandage was secured, he pressed one more kiss to your skin, then looked up at you through the mirror. He saw the look in your eyes. Lust. Hunger. He’d expected it.
And honestly? He was no better.
“Just let me check who’s at the door,” he said, straightening. Then his fingers caught your cheeks, gently squeezing them into a playful pout. “And then…” he leaned in, voice thick, lips brushing yours, “I’ll take care of you.”
Simon left you with a soft kiss, disappearing through the curtain.
You turned back to the mirror, eyes tracing the delicate lines of your tattoo—his masterpiece. The warmth in your chest lingered, until it shattered. Because then you heard it.
That voice.
The one that had haunted your nights, crept into your thoughts, poisoned your sense of peace. His voice.
No. No, it couldn’t be.
He hated tattoos. Always had. Called his body a temple. Said only the weak marked themselves to feel something. He couldn’t be here. He wasn’t supposed to be here.
But the voice, familiar, sharp, real, broke through every ounce of logic you tried to summon.
Panic rooted itself deep in your bones. Your fingers trembled as you pulled your dress back down, your eyes glued to the curtain like it might come alive. Wide. Fearful. Breath catching in your throat. Each inhale felt like a struggle, your heart thudding violently against your ribs.
You’d thought it was over.
You’d thought Simon had helped you heal. But healing doesn’t mean forgetting. And the past doesn’t always stay buried.
An unknown force pulled you toward the curtain. You had to be sure. You had to know.
You pushed your head through the fabric, heart pounding so hard it made your vision pulse. First, you saw Simon’s broad back, the solid comfort of his presence—but then your gaze locked onto him.
Your ex.
He was really there. Actually there.
The movement of the curtain caught his attention. His eyes landed on you.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he snapped instinctively, like his words were a reflex. Said with so much venom.
That was all it took.
Simon’s entire body went still, rigid with tension. He turned his head just enough to see your face, and that was it. The fear in your eyes. The way your hand clutched the curtain so tightly your knuckles were white. The tears threatening to fall.
He knew. He didn't need you to say a word.
Because the thing about Simon was, he was a soldier. Had been for most of his life. And when he registered danger, his instinct wasn’t to talk. It was to eliminate it.
And while he wasn't in danger, you were. At least emotionally. And that was enough.
Before you could blink, your ex was on the ground, clutching his face, blood seeping through his fingers. The sharp crack of cartilage echoed like a gunshot, Simon had broken his nose cleanly, without hesitation. No wasted movement. No remorse.
He stood over him, expression unreadable, calm in a way that was somehow more terrifying than rage.
“Get. The fuck. Out.” Simon growled, each word edged in steel. There was something in his voice you’d never heard before, something dangerous, something primal, something begging to be unleashed.
And for once, the man who used to haunt your dreams scrambled without a word.
Simon locked the door behind him without a word, his movements steady, deliberate. Then he turned to you.
He didn’t speak, didn’t need to. He simply crossed the space between you and wrapped you in his arms, lifting you effortlessly. Your legs found their place around his waist, and he carried you to the old, worn couch in the back of the shop.
He sat with you cradled in his lap, as if it was the only place you belonged.
He knew what was coming.
So when your body began to tremble, when the sobs finally broke loose from your chest, he just sighed softly, not with frustration, but with quiet grief for what you’d endured. Maybe this could’ve been avoided. Maybe you should’ve stayed behind that curtain.
But none of that mattered now. He didn’t blame you. Would never blame you. Instead, he just held you tighter.
Soft, reassuring words spilled into your ear, barely more than whispers. His hands traced gentle, grounding circles across your back, keeping you tethered, safe. Present.
You had come so far since the day Simon met you. He’d seen you break, seen you rebuild. He’d offered his strength, his patience, his warmth, everything you needed to find yourself again. To bloom.
And sometimes, the past still reached out with cold, clawed hands. But that was okay.
Because Simon would always be there to chase the darkness away. No questions. No hesitation. Just you, safe in his arms.
His sweet blooming flower.
what a fucking ride it had been.
#fic rec#call of duty#cod mw2#cod#cod mw3#simon riley#simon ghost riley#ghost#task force 141#tattoo artist!simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#ghost x reader
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: ̗̀➛ doomsday's luckiest
ㅤ ₊✩ˎˊ˗ apocalypse simon 'ghost' riley x reader
01 : as the world craves in
cw : smut, past toxic relationship, mention of eating disorders, mentions of self-harm, scars, twisted perspective of sex, chubby reader. words : 7k
ㅤ collection - prev ⋆ next
Miserable. That was how you’d describe your life right now. Jobless, barely functioning after finally escaping a toxic relationship, and most of your friends had taken your manipulative ex-boyfriend’s side. The few who supported you? They were busy tonight.
Thursday night. Not many people were willing to leave their houses for a “fun” night out with you. You were the only jobless one, after all.
Fuck it.
You grabbed your keys, locked your door, and before you knew it, you were sitting in your car, driving toward the nearest lively city: Manchester. It wasn’t your favorite, but Liverpool was even farther away, and you'd already have to drive thirty minutes. It’ll do for tonight, you’d thought.
Maybe it was your guardian angel whispering in your ear. You'd come to be grateful for choosing Manchester.
The pub was shitty, dead, as expected on a weeknight. Most of the people were regulars, drunks, or teenagers sneaking their first taste of beer.
Pathetic.
But then again, so were you.
You’d made a small effort tonight. Dressed up, pretty, but nothing over the top. You weren’t even sure why anymore, not with the crowd here. Most of the men were pushing fifty. Not that you had a problem with older guys, but not that old. You drew the line at thirty-seven. Hell, maybe forty on a good day.
Going in strong, you ordered shots—straight vodka. It would help clear your mind, or at least blur it enough.
Checking your phone, you saw a notification from your ex. You opened the message just as you finished your fourth shot. A wall of insults greeted you, body-shaming, followed by sweet, manipulative words. He always did that. Tore you down, shredded your self-worth, then tried to convince you he was the only one who’d ever truly love you.
On bad days, he’d call your body disgusting. Say your stomach made him sick. Mock the scars on your arms like he wasn’t the reason they were there. He made you feel guilty over the smallest snack, shamed you for eating anything that wasn’t "clean." That guilt spiraled into disordered eating, your body crying out for what you denied it. Then came the binges. Hours spent eating everything in sight, followed by the cruel purge.
Leaving him hadn’t been easy, walking away from him was one thing, but walking away from his voice in your head was another. Still, it had to be done. You were killing yourself slowly. And something in you finally said: enough.
As you put down your fifth shot, your eyes landed on a man standing alone in the corner of the pub. Your brain was already fuzzy, drinking on an empty stomach never ended well. But something about him cut through the haze.
Even with his face hidden behind what looked like a skull-patterned balaclava, he radiated an almost unreal presence. Solid. Massive. Built like a mountain. And right then, with liquor courage pulsing through your veins, you decided a little climbing wouldn’t hurt.
Grabbing two beers—you had a feeling he was a beer kind of man—you started toward him.
The closer you got, the stranger it felt. His eyes had locked on you the second you stood up. There was an intensity there, dark, unreadable, magnetic. You could feel it even from the bar. Not even your ex had ever looked at you like that. It was unnerving. Thrilling.
Something inside you sparked. A tingle, low and electric.
As you went to put the drinks of the table, you almost spilled them, your body already on a drunker haze from the shots. The stranger stabilised both beers with one hand, while he grabbed the table with the other. How was a simple thing so hot? You might have been drunker than you thought.
"Lost your way, eh love?" His deep voice resonated inside you, sending chills down your spine.
Giggling like a schoolgirl, you plopped down across from him. He didn’t seem to mind—an amused glint danced in his eyes, catching the dim pub light just right.
Even in the shadows, with his hood up and his face covered by the skull-patterned balaclava, he looked handsome. Striking, even. His body seemed carved by some ancient god with a wicked sense of excess. From where you sat, you’d bet he was big everywhere.
He lounged with an easy confidence, arms stretched across the back of the worn-out sofa like he owned the place. His shirt clung tightly to a solid, soft-looking belly—strong and unapologetic, connected to even stronger pecs. Thick thighs were spread wide, his posture relaxed and unbothered, and it looked like his trousers were one deep breath away from giving out at the seams.
A gentle whistle brought you back to his face. You couldn't see it, but you knew he was smirking under there.
Distantly, you heard panicked voices coming from the TV. The usual football game had been replaced by a news broadcast for some reason—reasons you couldn’t care less about at the moment.
"I saw you… all alone," you slurred, the words sticking together a bit. "Figured I'd… y'know… keep you company. 'Cause I’m alone too."
Your shyness had been eaten away by the liquor running through your blood—along with your shame—as you kept eye-fucking the stranger in front of you. In your defense, he didn’t seem to mind one bit.
Pushing one beer toward him, you went to lift yours for a sip when you were stopped by a strong, but soft, hand.
"I reckon I'll have that one too, love," the man said, pulling the second beer toward him.
In any other situation, you might’ve found his move patronizing, but in this moment, it was the hottest thing a man had ever done to you. Your brain was fuzzy and cloudy, and the fact that he wasn’t trying to take advantage of your state made you blush a little.
A small, deep chuckle could be heard as the man pushed his balaclava up, revealing a soft blond beard. You wouldn’t have guessed he was blond. A deep scar ran from above his full lips down to the bottom of his chin—a clean cut, surely healed for years. It should have scared you, but instead, it turned you on even more.
“Name’s Simon,” he said gently after swallowing about half of his pint. “What about you?”
For hours, you talked, as the bar was getting even quieter. About trivial things at first, and then about your ex, about your old jobs, about your shitty friends. He didn't talk much, he listened, making remarks here and there so you knew he was listening. Even if, you were strongly oversharing and trauma dumping.
The beers were long gone, and you had been drinking water even since, while Simon sipped on a—now warm—whiskey.
You were in the middle of your argument over why dogs were—objectively—better than cats when the distraught pub owner approached your table, sweating like crazy and begging you to leave immediately.
Admittedly, you were the last ones in the pub, but it was still a good hour before closing time. Neither of you responded at first, too weirded out by his body language, which was all aggression and panic, while Simon simply watched him in silence.
But when the owner suddenly reached for you, he was stopped by a hard hand clamping down on his wrist in a bruising grip.
Rising slowly, Simon stepped between you and the man, shielding you with his body.
“Oi, now,” Simon said, tightening his hold, “we’re off, yeah pal? No need to get physical, right?”
He released the man’s wrist, his eyes never leaving him, and then his hand appeared in front of you.You took it without a word, letting him gently pull you in front of him, guiding you toward the exit with a steady hand resting on the small of your back.
While the alcohol had mostly left your system, exhaustion had taken its place. Exhaustion and desire. A lethal mix that kept your heart beating just a little too fast as you became extremely aware of his height and build beside you.
“You wanna go home?” he asked gently, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Lighting one, the flame from the lighter flickered across his face, making him look almost ethereal.
When you didn’t answer right away, his eyes drifted back to you—like they had so many times that night. Heat crept up your face, and with a bit too much enthusiasm, you shook your head.
“No?” Simon teased, smirking as he exhaled a slow stream of smoke. “Want me to take you back to mine?” He emphasized the me, his soft mocking sending a thrill straight between your legs.
Stranger danger, right?
You didn’t care. Not a single bone in your body could’ve made you say no in that moment.
Biting your lip, you nodded. Your breathing was already picking up, and you pressed your thighs together in what you thought was a subtle, unnoticeable move—but Simon noticed. Of course he did. He’d told you earlier: part of his job was to observe people, to notice everything.
He nodded silently, extending his hand toward you—and you took it instantly. Laughing at your eagerness, he ran his thumb gently over the back of your hand before adding, “Your car keys, love.”
“Oh,” you breathed out, flustered. Your hands fumbled over themselves as you dug into your purse, finally wrapping your fingers around your fluffy keychain and pulling it out with an impatient tug.
Gently taking the keys from your hand, he waited for you to lead the way to your car.
You were in your own little world, eyes fixed on how small your keys looked in his hand, when they already felt pretty large in yours. Thinking back to the men you’d had in your life, none of them came close to Simon’s sheer size.
You’d always been chubby, and some past lovers had made a point of reminding you—commenting on your stomach rolls and dimpled thighs, making you deeply self-conscious. Your last ex certainly hadn’t helped you rebuild any confidence. But as you looked at Simon, desire warm in your chest, that cruel little voice, the one that always told you you were too big, that you’d crush them, was suddenly silent.
Patiently, the man smoked his fag in silence, letting your eyes roam over his figure. He’d never minded a pretty bird’s gaze on him—and after everything you’d overshared tonight, he sure as hell wasn’t going to make you uncomfortable with a shitty joke. So he let you look, subtly adjusting his movements just enough to make his muscles flex beneath the tight gym shirt and almost-too-small trousers.
He’d been home for quite a while now. The weight he’d lost on his last deployment had come back, thanks to the homemade meals he’d been cooking for himself. And as he exhaled smoke one last time and dropped the cigarette to the ground, he noticed something clear in your eyes.
Desire. Want. Heat.
His eyes on you made you suddenly realize you hadn’t moved in minutes. Gently turning around, you started walking toward where your car was parked. It was a short distance, but thanks to Manchester’s parking nightmare, it would still take you about five minutes.
A low whistle stopped you in your tracks.
Turning around, you saw Simon approaching at a lazy pace, like he had all the time in the world. Only then did you notice—you’d been rushing.
As he reached you, he gently guided you toward the shops instead of the road, his hand settling on the small of your back, just centimeters from your arse.
“Go on now, kitty. Strut away,” he teased, smirking.
There was a mocking edge to his voice, but it was playful, nothing like the cruel digs your shitty ex used to throw your way. Once again, a rush of heat surged straight between your legs. You prayed he wasn’t just all talk—but with the way confidence and quiet dominance came so naturally to him, you knew you were in for a good night.
On the way back to his place, your brain was still too fuzzy to fully register how dangerous this could be. Letting a man you’d known for only a few hours drive your car through a city you barely knew. For all you knew, he could take you to some dark forest, kill you, and bury your body.
Yet something about Simon intrigued you. And you trusted your gut.
Although... every time you’d trusted it before, it had led you straight into the arms of a gaslighter. Sadly, you’d never been the best judge of character. Naive, they’d called you. Easy to deceive. Easy to break down and reshape into the perfect doll for selfish men.
But Simon felt different. He seemed genuinely interested, not in some version of you, but you. And for the first time in a long while, you had a feeling that maybe, just maybe... he might like you exactly as you are.
Shaking your head, you reminded yourself—it was just a shag anyway. Hopefully a good one, but nothing more than that. The man looked good enough to kill… but he also looked like a killer. Brooding silent men had never really been your type. You usually went for the chatty, sunshine types, people like you. Sure, you had your dark days, but most of the time, you were a damn ray of sunshine.
Even if he wasn’t exactly your type mentally, his physique had nothing to envy from any man who’d ever crossed your path.
Quiet music played in the background, your phone connected after you’d grown tired of the radio stations rambling about some epidemic, interviewing panicked voices even in the dead of night. You’d brushed it off and let your playlist take over.
Silently, your eyes traced the shape of his arms. You’d never thought driving could be sexy, but every time he shifted gears, something in your brain short-circuited. And his thighs—thick and flexing with every subtle movement—were impossible to ignore. You couldn’t even think about them without feeling your knickers grow damper.
It was a fairly short drive, you noticed, as Simon parked right in front of a fancy-looking building. As he rounded the car to open your door, you couldn’t help but notice how out of place he looked, dressed in all black, broad and built like a bodybuilder, standing in front of what looked like the kind of place filled with lanky finance bros.
"You're like... rich rich," you blurted out as you stepped into the building, instantly met with an elegant hall, a grand staircase, and a sleek, high-end elevator. It was all so posh, nothing you were used to.
Sure, you weren’t poor, but city rent was brutal. You’d ended up living thirty, sometimes forty minutes outside the city, in a small, cozy apartment. It wasn’t much, but it was yours—or at least, you’d made it feel that way.
Now, though, it was tainted. Stained with painful memories you’d been trying to outrun when you drove into Manchester tonight. You hadn’t planned to sleep out... but now, you were glad it worked out this way. At least tonight, you didn’t have to face the hole in your bedroom wall—left behind by one of your ex’s tantrums.
The soft ding of the elevator and Simon’s quiet laugh pulled you back to the present.
“Job pays well,” he said, watching your reaction. “Don’t have much to spend it on but rent.”
There was something in his eyes, something unreadable, that sparked a flicker of panic in your chest. Rushing to fill the silence, you blurted out your thoughts in a stream of anxious words.
“Not that I care, you know. It’s not like I knew before coming here! I would’ve come even if you were broke, seriously. I don’t care about money—never really did. You should see where I live, it’s pretty cheap—"
Simon gently cut off your ramble with a hand on your chin, tilting your head up. Then, without a word, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. Just a small peck, enough to short-circuit your spiraling thoughts.
“Calm that little brain of yours,” he said with a half-smile, kissing you again, just as briefly. “Didn’t mean anything by it, yeah?”
Although his technique was a bit blunt, it worked. Your brain shut down instantly, and your body softened, leaning into his. Not that he minded.
He really hadn’t meant anything by it. You had been the one to buy him a drink, not the other way around. And it’s not like he’d shared much about his life—of course you’d be surprised to see a place this fancy. That didn’t mean you were a gold-digger.
Once inside his place, Simon settled on the couch, watching you. Like a stray cat he might’ve brought home, you began poking around—examining the furniture, the small decorations and bits of clutter, the books lining the shelves, the DVDs stacked beside them. He let you roam, curious little thing that you were. Every now and then, you’d comment on a book you’d read too, or mention a movie you’d always meant to watch.
What could you say? You liked to snoop. Always had, always would.
The flick of a lighter snapped you out of your snooping trance. When you turned back toward the couch, you nearly choked on air.
Here he was, lighting another fag, his balaclava tossed haphazardly on the coffee table. His brown eyes locked onto yours, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. He was, without a doubt, the most handsome man you had ever come across in your short life. Blonde hair stuck to his head and forehead—a mix of sweat and pressure from the hood—full eyebrows, a strong nose, high cheekbones marked by acne scars, and a scruffy beard. His forehead and eyes were lined with faint wrinkles. He hadn’t told you his age, but from the look of him, you guessed he must be around thirty-five, or close to it.
“Like what you see?” he taunted, exhaling smoke in a slow, deliberate way. “‘Cause I sure do,” he added, his eyes roaming over your body without a shred of shame. They lingered on your chest before drifting down to your stomach and hips, darkening as they traveled.
You were about to approach him when sudden commotion and distant screams echoed through the hallway. Glancing toward the front door with a frown, you wondered how people could make so much noise in such a fancy place—especially at almost 1 a.m.
Looking back at Simon, you caught a flicker of confusion cross his face before it vanished behind his usual unreadable mask.
Still, he got up and made his way toward the door, gently nudging you toward the couch as he passed. When he opened it, he was met by his upstairs neighbours, both weighed down with baggage and rushing down the stairs in a panic. The two men were speaking harshly, urging each other to move faster—that they had to get out before everyone blocked the roads.
Frowning again, Simon figured there must be some kind of celebration tomorrow, something he’d forgotten about. Shaking his head, he brushed them off and closed the door, locking each bolt with care.
Better safe than sorry.
Turning back around, he was met with the sweetest sight, you, quietly seated on his couch, hands folded in your lap, looking up at him with wide, curious eyes. A gentle smile tugged at his lips as he walked over, offered you his hands, and softly guided you toward the bedroom. As if he was afraid he might break you.
Still silent, you followed, nervously biting your lip. It had been a long time since sex had felt like something to enjoy. For months, it had been all about your ex’s pleasure, your needs left in the background. You hoped Simon would be different, would see you, consider you.
He sat down first, watching you with a quiet softness as your curious gaze wandered once again, this time across his plain, undecorated bedroom. Simon had never seen the point in making it cozy. He wasn’t here much, and when he was, he spent most of his time in the living room or the building’s gym. No need for art or plants. They’d only die anyway.
Observing you, he thought about a certain Scot who was just as curious about him as you were. Shaking his head, now wasn’t the time to think about his sergeant.
Patience. He could do that. He was very good at that. He waited for you to get a bit more comfortable. He saw how your toes wiggled in what he assumed was a mix of excitement and anxiety. Same with your fidgeting fingers, and the way you kept biting your lips.
Behind your eyes, he could see how much you were probably overthinking everything, subconsciously tugging on your shirt to hide your belly.
Oh no.
He was a patient man, yes—but he wouldn’t let you fall too deep into self-conscious thoughts.
As gently as he could—careful not to startle you—he grabbed your hips and pulled you toward him. With a small push behind your knees, he guided you into his lap. Before any protest could leave your lips, Simon spoke.
“I had to carry one of my sergeants over my shoulder for an entire afternoon across the desert, and he was twice your size, darling.” His voice had shifted—deeper now, more commanding, more military. “Nothing about you is going to hurt me. Or disgust me.”
Taking your delicate hand in his calloused one, he guided it down to his pelvis, where you could feel the weight of his semi-hard cock.
“All this, already, just from you looking pretty in my room, yeah?” he said, though it wasn’t really a question. One brow arched in that calm, nonchalant way of his—almost commanding. “And now, I just want you to look pretty on my bed... and let me take care of the rest. Can you do that?”
This was new.
Sex and you had always had a complicated relationship. It wasn’t something you enjoyed most of the time—but you knew that had more to do with your partners than with you. Every time you took care of yourself, it felt better than anything they’d ever given you.
But now, here was this god of a man, promising you pleasure and attention. You almost wanted to cry—he seemed so genuine, like nothing would make him happier than giving you exactly what you needed tonight.
Too quickly, you nodded in excitement.
Eager little thing you were.
“Need words, sweetheart,” Simon murmured, voice barely above a whisper.
“Yes,” you muttered.
“Good girl.”
And then his lips were on yours.
It was nothing like the quick pecks in the elevator. Those were desperate, starving, something else entirely. His hands were everywhere, gliding from your thighs to your hips, gripping the nape of your neck to pull you closer. They brushed over your stomach and your breasts, caressed your arms with a reverence that made your skin buzz.
You felt euphoric. No one had ever kissed you with this much purpose, this much enthusiasm.
When his lips left yours, you almost whined, would have, if he hadn’t kissed your jaw the moment his mouth broke away. With a rhythm that was both urgent and patient, he trailed kisses along your jaw, down your neck, across your collarbones, even as his hands gently worked to lift your shirt.
As the cotton passed over your face, you couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes. Anxiety gnawed at your mind, whispering that you were disgusting. That he’d hate the soft rolls of your stomach, the faded scars on your wrists. That your breasts were too small, your nipples too strange.
One of your shitty exes had said that once—and the words had never really left you.
“Fucking gorgeous,” was all you heard before you felt his lips on the top of your breast, his fingers already toying with the clasp of your bra.
Looked like you weren’t the only eager one.
Two simple words, but somehow, they jump-started your brain. Your hands moved on instinct, tugging at his tight shirt, pushing him back just enough to free yourself from his mouth as he urgently pulled his own top off.
Your breath caught in your throat as your eyes took him in.
Scars. So many. Bullet wounds, stabs, burns… all mingling with tattoos scattered across his skin.
“Do you think it’s ugly?” Simon asked, though there wasn’t a trace of self-doubt in his voice.
“No,” you answered quickly, the word spilling out with raw sincerity.
“No?” he added, a small smirk tugging at his lips. Then, shaking his head slightly, he went on, “Then don’t go assuming your own disgust me, alright?”
Once again, he guided your hand—this time to his soft belly. The defined six-pack was long gone. At home, he didn’t care much for aesthetics. He ate well, hit the gym enough to stay in shape, but he didn’t obsess over it.
“You think that’s disgusting, love?” Another rhetorical question. You shook your head again, and he felt your fingers curl against him, gentle and hesitant, like a cat kneading a warm spot.
Then he brought his hand to your belly, massaging it with unexpected tenderness, rolling the softness between his calloused fingers.
“Well, I fucking love that,” he murmured. “I like my women fed and healthy. Don’t put those silly boy standards on me, kitty, yeah? I’m well past rubbing one out over a supermodel.”
As if to prove a point, he pulled you even tighter into his lap, grinding your clothed cunt against his now fully hard cock. You let out a breathy moan at the friction, a soft, helpless sound that made his grip on your hips tighten.
You might’ve been the cutest little thing Simon had ever had the pleasure of laying in his bed. And he was dead set on savouring every second of it.
Manhandling you with practiced ease, he laid you back against the pillows, your head cradled by the soft fabric, surrounded by the scent of him. When you closed your eyes and tilted your head slightly into the pillow, he knew you liked it. Good.
But he was certain you were going to like what came next even more.
Leaving hungry kisses and teasing bites along your stomach and hips, his hands roamed with purpose, searching for the zipper of your skirt. When he couldn’t find it, you guided his hand to it yourself. As thanks, he gave you another playful bite on your belly—earning a mix of a giggle and a moan from you.
Exquisite.
Once the skirt was gone, he settled comfortably between your legs, lifting them over his shoulders. He paused for a moment, admiring the damp patch on your cotton panties, and when your hands flew up to cover your face in embarrassment, he just smiled.
No one had ever given so much attention to what was between your legs.
Sure, past boyfriends had gone down on you, but it was always rushed, needed. Done more as a means to an end, never for the joy of it. Never for you.
But now?
You were soaked.
A soft kiss to your clit sent shivers all the way through your body. His fingers traced gentle patterns along your inner thighs, grounding you, comforting you, even as the other hand tugged down the last piece of fabric separating him from you.
Then, silence.
You peeked down at him, hands falling from your face, bracing yourself for the familiar sting of judgment. You half-expected some offhand comment about something else that was “wrong” with you.
But instead, Simon winked.
And then he dove into your cunt like a man starved—like he’d just found fresh water after weeks at sea.
Your back arched instantly, a strangled cry escaping your lips as your fingers twisted into his hair. Maybe a bit too hard, because he gave a small wince beneath you.
“Careful, lovely,” he chuckled against your skin. “Not going anywhere, don’t worry.”
His tongue was everywhere, spelling god-knows-what across your clit, licking and sucking, then diving lower to drink you in like he’d never get enough. The room filled with filthy, wet sounds. Your moans. His slurping, kissing, groaning—like he was truly enjoying himself, every second of it.
You didn’t see it—too lost in your own unraveling—but his hips were slowly grinding against the mattress beneath him. Harder with every taste of you on his tongue.
He was a man on a mission—and when he added his fingers into the mix, you were gone.
Soft, practiced strokes circled your clit while his tongue slurped hungrily at your entrance. Then he switched it up. His tongue flicked up to your clit while a single finger eased inside you, pressing against your warm, slick walls.
Working you open was effortless; you were so wet, the second finger slid in without resistance—and this one found the spot instantly. That’s when you let out the most pornographic sound you'd ever made.
Was he some kind of sex god? Or had all your past lovers just been selfish bastards?
“That’s it, kitty,” Simon murmured, his voice dropping low and deliberate. “Just let it go, yeah? I’m right here.”
He gave your clit another kitten-lick as his fingers picked up speed, curling with precision.
“You’re so fucking pretty, taking my fingers so well, lovie…” His voice dropped even deeper, a low rumble that vibrated straight through your core.
Your senses were wrecked. You couldn’t form words anymore—only moans, whimpers, and gasps poured from your lips. Nothing had ever felt like this. Not your fingers, not your toys, and certainly not anyone else.
That strange, overwhelming pressure began building in your belly—rising fast, heavy, desperate. Your thighs trembled against his head, and it took one of his hands to pin you down gently, keeping you from clamping too hard.
“Wait—wait—” you panted, the words tumbling out between moans. “Gonna… gonna pee.”
“No, you’re not, sweetheart,” Simon cooed with a soft laugh, licking your clit again with care. “Just let it go. Don’t worry.”
“No, no, please—” you tried again, but that strange feeling was intensifying. His tongue went back to spelling maddening patterns on your clit. You tried to push at his head weakly, but he wouldn’t relent.
“Simon, I—I—I… oh… oh God…”
And then, stars.
Stars burst behind your eyes as your thighs locked around his head, your cunt clenching around his fingers in pulsing waves.
“There you go… That's it.” Simon whispered, his voice all praise and warmth, fingers still working you through it. “Good girl. My sweet girl.”
When he finally withdrew his fingers, he replaced them with his tongue—eager to taste every last bit of you. The moment your cry shifted into overstimulation, he relented.
Pushing up onto his haunches, he licked his fingers clean and drank you in.
You were blissed out. Cheeks flushed and damp, eyes barely open with tears at the corners. Your neck and chest glistened with sweat, your thighs still trembling against his own.
From everything you’d overshared, about shitty exes and disappointing nights, Simon had assumed you’d never had a real orgasm before.
He’d been right.
Palming his painfully hard cock through his pants, he ached to be inside you. To fill you, stretch you, ruin you for anyone else.
As you watched his hand, you figured it was a silent message to reciprocate. So, still on shaky thighs, you began to lower yourself onto your knees in front of him, ready to thank him.
That was how it worked, right?
Raising an eyebrow at your submissive posture and the way your hands reached toward his zipper, a strange anger surged inside the soldier.
There was something in your eyes that set him off—something that made him feel sick. Like you had been conditioned to believe he only did this to get something in return.
A bit harshly, he grabbed both your wrists with one hand, stopping you.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice tight.
He would’ve gladly let you suck his cock, if he didn’t feel like it was automatic for you. Like a debt to repay.
“What do you mean?” Your voice was still shaky, your body trembling with aftershocks. He could see how your thighs were still spasming now and then.
“I don’t want you to do that,” he said bluntly. Given your fragile headspace, he probably should’ve phrased it more gently, but something about the look in your eyes made him furious at the world.
How could shitty men break something so sweet? Make you think your pleasure had to come with a price?
Not here.
Not in his bed.
Not with him.
When tears welled in your eyes, Simon cursed himself for the sharpness in his tone. Pulling you toward him, he kissed you gently, no urgency—just care.
“None of that, sweetheart,” he murmured, kissing away a tear that slipped down your cheek. “Don’t want you to suck my dick ‘cause you think you have to. That’s what I meant.”
He held you close, running a soothing hand down your shaking spine.
“Now lay down for me, yeah? If you still want to do this. You can say no. Won’t get mad, love."
Nodding your head, you let yourself gently fall back against his pillow. A funny feeling stirred in your belly, a sense of safety, of finally being seen and worshipped. Usually, you were the one doing the worshipping, and you were tired of it.
Brushing the tears away, you watched as he finally took off his trousers and briefs. His dick sprang free, bouncing slightly, making you giggle a little—tears long gone now. It was an angry red, the tip leaking pre-cum as it begged for attention. He was a bit bigger than average, but feeling the wetness between your thighs, you had no doubt he would fit just fine.
Slowly covering you with his own body, he kissed you again. Those kisses were soft—little promises of what was to come. He wouldn’t hurt you; he’d take care of you. Like he did before. You made out for a little while. It was soft and gentle, nobody was rushing, you had all the time in the world. Sometimes, you felt his dick brush over your belly. He would let out little airy whines, and you'd be lying if you said it didn’t make you wetter.
Once Simon felt like neither of you could take much more, he shifted onto his right side, reaching toward his bedside table to fish out a condom. You watched anxiously as he rolled it down his length, giving his cock a few strokes, like he needed more stimulation. Another giggle slipped from your lips.
Smiling gently at you, he kissed you again. “Get on your side for me, baby.”
Oh, that was new as well.
Spooning felt almost too intimate for this situation, and yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking it was meant to be. Like two puzzle pieces fitting right in.
All thoughts about intimacy vanished the moment Simon raised your left leg over his and slowly guided his length inside of you, letting out a low groan directly into your ear.
Ever the observant one, he felt you clench around him at the sound. He did it again, and felt another clench. Sensitive, you were. And very warm and wet. It was perfect. God, he wished he could’ve gone in raw, but that would’ve been too much.
Giving a tentative thrust, Simon was rewarded with another one of your sweet sounds. That, combined with the earlier stimulation, made him go rogue. His hips took on a mind of their own, rutting against you like a mad dog. His lips kept licking, kissing, and biting the back of your neck, your shoulder, your back—anything he could reach.
Yours were no better—biting at his bicep, the one he had placed beneath your head like a pillow, while your nails dug into his arm and thighs.
Getting carried away after a few minutes, Simon pushed you completely onto your belly, laying you flat on his soft sheets, never once pulling out. When no sound of discomfort or hesitation came from you, he resumed his thrusts. His rhythm was messy now—far messier than just a few minutes ago. He was close. The feeling of your cunt clenching hard around his dick was intoxicating.
He let out another groan at yet another clench, almost like it hurt him. But it was quite the contrary.
Feeling he was approaching his climax, he let his weight rest on you, only his forearm keeping him from crushing you.
Cooing encouragement into your ear, praises spilling from his lips like chants, Simon felt your cunt tightening as you neared another orgasm. Words poured out of his mouth—probably more than he’d spoken in months at home—but he didn’t care. He could feel how much you loved his voice, loved when he spoke into your ear, loved when he lowered it, almost growling his words.
"That’s my fucking good girl, taking me so deep. Fucking perfect cunt on a perfect body—fuck, you feel so fucking good." He grunted as sweat dripped from his hair onto your back.
To push you over the edge, he slithered one hand down to your cunt, almost coming when he felt where his dick was entering you, then moved a bit higher, toying with your already overstimulated clit.
You clenched so hard on his dick, he came instantly. Deep groans whispered into your ear, coupled with frantic thrusts and skilled fingers that triggered your own climax.
It was unlike anything before—even better than when he was between your legs.
Still floating, you felt soft hands pulling you gently back onto your side, then onto your back. Gentle fingers brushed away tears you hadn’t even noticed fall and pushed strands of hair sticking to your sweaty forehead aside.
Watching him with half-open eyes, you saw his lips moving, but your ears were still ringing, and you couldn’t catch what he said. Bits of praise and coos reached you, enough to relax your body completely. His lips pressed softly to your temple as a hand patted your hips, demanding your attention.
Focusing on him now, you concentrated to understand his next words.
“I need you to go pee now, alright? Can you do that for me, kitty?” Simon asked, his voice low and gentle, as if speaking to a scared child.
“I don’t—I don’t think my legs work,” you replied bluntly.
“Okay.” The man chuckled softly at your words.
Carefully, he rose from the bed, took off the condom, tied it, and threw it away. Approaching you again, he lifted you as if you weighed nothing, and you were too tired to care anyway.
After he set you down on the toilet, he left the bathroom, telling you to take your time, and that you could take a shower too, if you wanted.
Making your way back toward the bedroom, you felt a bit self-conscious, walking around his place completely naked. But the sight you stumbled upon was truly mouthwatering.
Simon, relaxing in his bed, under the covers. Eyes closed, body completely at ease, basking in the lingering rush of endorphins.
As quietly as you could, you began picking up your knickers, eyes scanning the room for your bra. Your little treasure hunt was interrupted by a low whistle coming from the man just a few meters away.
When your eyes met, Simon shook his head in quiet disapproval before beckoning you over with a finger.
Awkwardly, you made your way around the bed. With a small, exasperated sigh, he grabbed you with ease and manhandled you back into the bed, tucking you under the covers and pressing your soft body flush against his.
"Rocked your world that hard and you still want to walk out on me, sweetheart?" he teased gently, pulling you tighter into his arms. "Thought your legs didn’t work, how were you planning to drive back, huh?"
With anyone else, the mockery might’ve stung. But Simon’s words felt different—genuine, laced with warmth. It was his way of saying he wanted you to stay, without actually saying it. And it was sexy.
You pressed your thighs together, a soft moan escaping your lips in response.
Kissing your shoulder like a quiet promise, Simon added with a chuckle, “Don’t worry, you’ll get plenty more tomorrow. Now go to sleep.”
There was no room for argument—especially not when a light smack landed on your ass cheek.
Giggling with excitement, you finally felt the exhaustion creeping in. Eyes fluttering closed, you buried your head into his bicep—your makeshift pillow—and for the first time in what felt like forever, you felt truly warm.
Warm and safe.
That’s how you fell asleep—wrapped in his arms, as the world caved in.
what an introduction, aye?
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a writing competition i was going to participate in again this year has announced that they now allow AI generated content to be submitted
their reasoning being that "we couldn't ban it even if we wanted to, every writer already uses it anyway"
"Every writer"?
come on
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holy christ what is this anon take yall 😭
Maybe if people updated more we wouldn't turn to ai
You’re a pathetic, impatient loser. Fanfic writers owe you nothing, and their writing is their own, not yours to do with as you choose, you entitled brat.
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With everything going around these days about generative AI (such as c.ai in fan settings, and chatgpt for everything else) I've decided to put together some banners for creators to put with their works if they like. Here are the ones I have so far:

(LET THE MACHINE STARVE - DO NOT FEED AI MY WORKS)
(KEEP ART HUMAN - DEATH TO AI)
(THIS WAS MADE BY A HUMAN - KEEP IT THAT WAY)
(NEURONS NOT WIRES - DEATH TO AI)
(HUMAN MADE HUMAN LOVED - DEATH TO AI)
(SAY NO TO GENERATIVE AI - DEATH TO CONSUMERISM)
(NEW THOUGHTS ARE HUMAN MADE - DEATH TO GENERATIVE AI)
(MADE WITH HEART NOT A CPU - DEATH TO AI)

Feel free to use these! I just ask that you reblog this post if you do, and tag me for credit somewhere on your blog (:
I've tried to pick a color that looked legible on both light and dark backgrounds, but feel free to ask for other colors (via askbox) if you're needing something else and I'll try to get to it!
edit: some other versions i had made as well but wasn't sure how easier they were to see, so I put them beneath the larger versions!
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It's so important to remind people on here that fic writers do so for free! So thank you for putting it out there
The amount of people on here lately demanding that fic writers and artists cater to them is... mind blowing and frustrating
Truly appreciate your post!!!!
I read a post talking about how they wanted new work because all the fics they read were like wattpad fics, and they 'came to Tumblr for a reason' and the only comment said 'write one yourself' and honestly couldn't agree more. I feel pressured to write more but then I remember this is for fun (and free) and life is chill. anyways I am happy you liked the post, I just needed to let everyone know that I like their work all the time 💋
#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost x you#simon riley#captain john price#kyle gaz x you
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Juuuuuust in case you haven't heard it enough, I myself am very grateful for literally everything you write. I'm very grateful for every author on this app for the work they post—because they truly do this for free and for fun. ty and goodnight 💋
#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost x you#simon riley#captain john price#kyle gaz x you#johnny soap mctavish x you#simon ghost riley fanfiction#john price x reader#john soap mactavish#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader
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sorry that you think my fictional ship is illegal. I actually consulted a fictional lawyer about it and he had a talk with a fictional cop about the fictional laws and then they both looked at me, and very seriously said "we'll allow it because it's hot."
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should I make a pt 2
"You lied to me Simon." You spat, hands clenched into balls by your sides, anger clouding your judgment.
His eyes kept steady on yours, brows drawn close and lips pursed. He held a similar stance, ears ringing from his own thoughts. He hadn't lied, he couldn't have. He was nothing but truthful to those he trusted.
"I don't know what you're talking about, love, I—" He started, but you cut him off with a hand.
"Love, I-I haven't.. I don't know what you're on about." He says, hands achingly hovering over your arms. You hug yourself, taking a step back.
"I'm not an idiot. I don't know who you think your talking to, but you don't seriously have the balls to lie to my face." You scoffed, hands close to your chest, trying to convey in every way possible that you're hurt by him. That you've lost the faith you once had in him. He was an idiot for lying, but now this—eye to eye, heart to heart? He started towards you, hands trying to make contact with your face, but you brushed him off.
"Miranda." You seethed. "I saw the texts she sent you. And I know you were drinking last Friday, and you came home late."
He paused, eyes searching for understanding, and then dread seeped from his head to his toes. He remembered now, the.. The hazy memories buried deep for a reason, fear keeping them nauseatingly close incase you found out. He tried to reach for you once more, but your back turned on him before his thoughts could form into words you'd actually listen to. You had your bags packed long before he was gonna be back from his day out, and the last thing he had planned on doing tonight was sleeping alone.
He didn't try.. Going after you again, his shame brewing until it's all his body could understand. He hadn't meant for that.. Fuck up to be life altering, and soul crushing, but.. It had been. A few words and a kiss meant nothing like you had. His soul had intertwined with yours like candles, melting into one another until you couldn't differentiate who was who, what was what.
Within a week, his apartment shared with you was once again dull and gray like it was before you. His routine with you was no longer with you, making his days leaker then normal. But, like his dad always said, he would never find that spark again, and you know why?
Like the whispers his dad would grind into his memory until it was all he could think about: he deserved it.
#Angst ahh writing#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley
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I want more mutuals so bad there are so many good writers I follow that seem so cool 😔😔 like you're obsessed with the same fictional men as me?? 😵💫😵💫
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“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
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hey guys you should read from this author and um yes the work is filling and amazing and sjsjdidjrjdndkzmfnd ❤️
kiss the skin that crawls; masterlist
john price x fem!reader | the surrogate au | read on AO3 | pinterest board
Living in an old cottage on the fringes of nowhere and somewhere, you find yourself strapped for cash, and in desperate need for repairs. When you come across an online post of a same sex couple searching for a surrogate, you decide to take up their offer after seeing the weighty compensation they present. What you don't realize is that the sperm donor enjoys doing things the old fashioned way, and you grow closer to him than you ever knew you wanted to.
a/n: while i plan on keeping this anthology very light and fluffy (an oddity compared to my other works) please heed any content warnings on the chapters as the story progresses, just in case!
help wanted
follow @mother-ilia to be notified of updates | get early access to chapters here
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should I rewrite this
Because of you.
Regency!Simon x Regency!Fem!Reader
Chapter 1
TW: Cursing, Mentions of DV, (small use of y/n so you know who you are) and more to come in the next chapters!
Simon was on his porch, a drink in his hand as he gazed out into the wide landscape around him. He had a few animals, keep his mind and his hands busy during they day. The sun was setting beautifully. the sky an artists masterpiece, as Simon took a sip of his drink. It was wonderful being on the country side of London, a vast difference from being in the lime light all day and night because of a mere label you're born into. Simon was lucky, really. His mom could've dragged him by the ear to betrothe a girl, give the family an heir but.. He did have a ton of siblings, and the ton seemed more interested in them than him and his.. More quiet aura.
He noticed a note by his door. Odd. He must have missed it when we grabbed his morning mail. He put his drink down, and stood, straightening his shirt. He bent to grab the note, and his saw his sisters signature on the front, and his mothers.
Another oddity. It's the middle of the girls season, and Jasmine was already married...
He went inside to grab a letter opener, and slid it underneath the fold, swiping cleanly, as the paper made a small tearing noise. He pulled the note out and read over it. Blah blah blah, its a great season so far, Tommy found his match, Katy is doing well... But Jasmine wanted him over. Do the whole 'older brother' thing where he acts concerned and sits the boys down for a talk. Simon smiled softly, and turned the letter over, and his mothers handwriting filled the first half.
To be frank, he could barely read his mothers words, but something about Jasmine's husband's cousin?
He sighed, and folded the note back up. God, it's been.... Well, it's been years since he's truly had to be in the city.
He packed a small bit, really not wanting to be there too long, and he put his bag in the holder on his horse.
"Aye, Jackson. You ready for a long ride?" He patted his horse, before hopping on and starting his journey down to the city.
Once he arrived at his childhood home, he whistled lowly. Fuck, the house is huge. He lived here most of his life, but compared to his pretty modest ranch, but... Christ. He hooked his horse up in the stables, and he grabbed his back, keeping it on his shoulder, and he walked into the house. He spotted his mother first, and she squealed.
"Simon!" She ran, elegantly of course, holding her dress up. She hugged Simon tight, kissing his face as he laughed softly. He leaning down to her height, hugging her back.
"Hi, mother. It's been a long time since... I've been back." He mumbled the back end of his sentence. She shook her head, as her response.
"Nonsense, I get why. With 2 kids this season, it's getting harder to keep the reins in on these girls!" She had a smile, but it was tense on her forward. "And with your father being away on work, I need you to step up. Just for a couple weeks, but.. We need you, sweetheart."
Simon nodded. He wanted his mom to have a few things off her plate, knowing her tendencies to over work herself during the season.
He took his time to go through the home, finding his old study space, his old room, and then.. Jasmine. She was with her newly wed (by a couple of months) and then she spotted Simon.
"Si? Is that really you?" She stood up and sprinted to him, much differently than their mother, and jumped in his arms. He spun her around, kissing her head.
"Jaz, good god, you've grown." He laughed softly, and held her face. "It's good to see you."
She smiled up at him and gave him another big squeeze, "Oh! I need to introduce you!" She gestured her husband over, and took his hand when he was close enough.
"Alex, meet Simon, Simon meet Alex." She was all giddy, an arm hooked around his. Simon extended his hand.
"Alex. It's nice to see you have my little sister so... Lively." He teased Jasmine, and Alex took his hand.
"Sir. I've heard a lot of good things about you. Nice to put a name to the face." Alex smiled, and shook Simons hand tightly.
The rest of the day was just seeing his family again, getting reacquainted with all the gossip his sisters have. Only one thing was really bothering him. Jasmine and Alex kept... Talking. Alex seemed nervous, Jasmine was trying her best to comfort him. He had letters in his hand, and both of them were reading them, all worried.
Simon managed to slip away, and peered his ear over the door, which was now shut as Jasmine and Alex needed to talk.
"My love, you shouldn't worry so much, she's... She seems like she got out--" Jasmine started, but Alex worriedly interjected.
"Y/n is being chased. Her... ex fiancé is after her, he found her at our mothers, at her best friends... She needs to get out of London." He seemed to be tapping his foot, by the soft tapping sound.
"I understand Alex, but honey, there's nothing we can really do, because if she comes here... I mean, isn't her ex... Using.. You know, substances?" Jasmine kissed his temple, and he deflated.
"I need her out of town. Is.. Isn't Simon living out of the city? Do you think-?" Alex was trying his hardest not to cry, by the sounds of it. Simon tensed. Hell no, he won't get involved with things like this, he's already managed to avoid the problems of the city--
"I could... I could ask him.. But he's not really-"
Simon walked away, shaking his head, what was Jasmine thinking? He isn't interested in homing someone, especially if there's a.. Drug abuser after her..
That's when he heard Jasmine come up behind her, grasping his arm.
Jasmine turns him around, Alex, avoidantly, in tow.
"Simon? Can we talk?"

aha cliffhanger (im still writing but you need to want to keep reading somehow)
small series im making because starving is killing me rn.
ilsym babes, happy pride!
-a661
#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x you#simon ghost riley#simon riley#fem!reader
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