#im gonna be using it for notes and communication basically
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i just realized this is my first finals week.
#man time flies.#you spend all your teenage years having people tell you 'it's gonna wear you down' and they couldnt be more right#and like i never denied it. i knew and was terrified#now the fear and anxiety remains mingled with a sense of normality. every day a new surprise (good or bad) but ur kinda expecting it#there's a lot i learned this semester but there's still a lot to change#next time i wanna be chill for once. like genuinely stop postponing work#it's not even about wanting to be productive or some shit. bro i just wanna be chill and somewhat confident during midterms and finals#also changed my phone settings to diminish the amount of functions it can perform#cus i wanna stop relying on it all day. feeling like someone just took my brain. deep-fried it. then put it back in my skull every time#all my stuff was in there. notes. memories. passwords. uni stuff. art stuff. important dates. etc#now it's on a different device that i have access to when i get home#im gonna be using it for notes and communication basically#starbstalks
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You know what? I'm not done.
The fact y'all white mogais fought tooth and nail to not have to put white in your bios or somewhere readily available was actually insane and confirms my already existing theory that some of you think once you have a certain amount of kins, f/os, irls, mental illnesses, xenogenders, orientation modifiers, alters and neopronouns, you lose white privilege and it absolutely shows that you do not lose that privilege exclusively because y'all have become pretty consistent white saviors lmao
Like y'all literally cried about it being too identifiable about you and being the same as doxxing like you weren't already sharing with everyone the exact percentages of your orientation attraction, age, state you live in, public name, like... I have to wonder hard how many of y'all participate in anti-racism activism to be an ally, actually understand why certain things are actually racist and help POC and how many of you exclusively do it to look better to other (white) activists and ease your white guilt.
Now y'all aren't even including byi/stance pages on top of a total lack of dni and wonder why radqueer beliefs are seeping in and every new term is basically transabled under a different name. I called it when I first saw this new batch pop up and I'm saying it now, they have their radqueer blogs with their radqueer content that you have blocked and they have their other blog named something like prxncxss-of-nxght or something with $50 worth of custom lazy caard graphic edits with needy streamer girl and 17 titles but no public stances for all their normal xenogender content. You didn't fight it so there they are. They ain't saying shit. Hell, no one said shit when ra/diomo/gai litterally reblogged a word for word transabled term. "Internal self" you realize that's just flowery language right? Like the creator themselves already said that it applied "to the soul and not the physical form". Please read a room. "#disability"? Are you actually fucking kidding me? No one batted an eye?
I don't think the community is dead because I don't follow a lot of big names anymore or because a lot of big names have deactivated, y'all just stopped caring and moved on despite all these beliefs you said you cared about. I don't really care, I've pretty much known from day one that a majority of the community is literally just full of shit about all these 8 paragraph basic feminism posts and vents crying about racism from fully white people.
I'm not someone to rip someone apart publicly for being what they say they are, then there's no need, but lieing about it? Damn, at least be shitty honestly.
Don't harass me, the creator of that term or ra/diom/og/ai over this. Just block and move on, I'm not having some public drama back and forth over a clearly transabled term.
#clover speaks#no one said a word#no call out no notes calling it what it is coiner is a literal radqueer#like yall dont care and even though i knew it im just glad i dont have to pretend to believe ur activism claims anymore#you wonder where i went i went back to my art back to things that make me happy#this community may be less trigger happy but now they are snuggling up to radqueers just like i predicted#i knew it was gonna happen and i knew the community would just keep going and its why i hooped off this train years ago#despite yalls claims of being critical inclusionists and wanting to educate instead of hate ive seen this all happen before#the inclusionist vs exclusionist saga didnt die because one side beat the other#a fuck ton of inclusionists became map supporters over night and all the exclusionists just lost interest and moved on#this is what will continue to happen to every movement the ultra progressives on this site create until you grow a backbone#yall are so scared of invalidating someone who is genuinely harmful that youve become the thing you claimed you hate#ive clocked multiple terms that were ableist or interphobic but because yall never make any effort to actually listen to us#you've allowed radqueers to basically indoctrinate you while the rest of us watch you zombie shuffle onwards#youve liberalpilled inclusionmaxxed ur way into the fucking sun#im not coming with yall yall have fun but im not going to smile to ur face and pretend you even remotely have disabled and intersex peoples#best interests at heart#the community has always been ableist#the community has always been racist#the community has always been interphobic#it wont change until any of you can accept that just cause you feel some way in passing dosent mean its a valid identity#even if its not in passing its still not inherently morally neutral#I'll keep being me but like literal transabled terminology is seeping in and its hitting the worst of us first but yall have never listened#so not shocking nor surprising that no one caught this and thus did not say shit#yall love to scream that your moderate personality disorder is the same as my severe autism and subsequent mental disability are the same#every july but you sure dont give a single shit when someone pretends to have our condition and makes up a word and throws some pantones on#a png and calls it valid#grow a backbone or continue being the laughing stock of the disability community i aint helping either way
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on the topic of female-dominated fields, i have actually noticed what i think is a trend of younger men going into library science. and i looked it up on wikipedia and they cited an ala study from 2014 that already showed that. now, it's not a huge change, there's still like 4 times as many female librarians as there are male ones. but i have personally noticed more young men in both the public libraries i visit and in my mslis classes and i think statistics may reflect that as well. what that means for librarianship, i have no idea. i think it's generally a good thing to see a more diverse range of young people entering the field. it'll just be interesting to see if public perception of librarianship changes over time in relation to it.
#i am personally of the opinion that librarianship is having a little bit of an identity crisis in the 21st century#y'know like the first librarians were people who were in charge of private libraries and archives often only open to scholars or professors#then later public librarians became people who could help you search for information and provide education#and like they still do that but the information landscape has changed quite drastically#people aren't just coming in looking for books for school or to plan a trip or print a document or whatever#they still do all those things of course there's just also so many more complicated requests#y'know librarians today now have to make some very political choices#how do you decide what is going to best serve your community and how can you ensure it will serve everyone equally?#are librarians teachers and scholars? or are we providing customer service and rote information?#fjshsg ive been doing my readings on critical pedagogy in libraries for class today this is basically that#the idea that information can't really be neutral and librarians have to make decisions about how to educate patrons#that takes into account their own agency and critical thought and allows them to form opinions on what they find#im counting this post as reading notes. im gonna use it to write my discussion post actually#anyway! perhaps the current political climate also has me ruminating on the future of libraries#bri babbles
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What you need to hear right now.
/general messages, timeless/
🌟PAC READING🌟
Pick a perfume:
NOTE: some messages are quite specific, but might help someone who needs to hear them❤️ so keep that in mind, not everything will resonate for all, it is a general reading after all.
Pile 1:
Poison girl.
Cards that fell; 3 of pentacles, ace of pentacles, 4 of wands reversed. Gift, pleasure seekers cards from an oracle deck.
- I think you might loose a sum of money or you recently have lost some, another case may be that your financial situation might have not been the best recently and you kind of felt helpless? (Idk why im getting that). However, your financial situation has a huge potential for improvement as you may get a present (either an item or a sum of money from someone) which may ease your financial worries. This present may even help you enjoy your life more as you will not have the « weight » of worrying about the near future and how you’re gonna make ends meet.
- Another possible scenario instead of getting a gift may be getting a higher salary than anticipated which can help you make up for the recent times of struggle.
- be focused on whatever you are working on ( studies, job, sports etc.. ) DO NOT loose your focus, this may make you miss a big opportunity if you are not consistent. AND the opposite: if you continue on working, being consistent and putting in the effort you may receive better things/opportunities than you have even imagined. It all depends on you.
- for those who have recently met or have started having hopes of starting a relationship with a romantic interest: this person may not have the intetions of being in a serious relationship with you at this point of time. Be careful and seek your OWN best interest, not theirs.
Pile 2:
Baccarat rouge.
Cards: 10wands, 8wands, 5 wands reversed, judgement reversed.
- Sadly for this pile we are starting a bit negatively; you may have recently experienced a burnout or you are quite overworked due to having too much different stuff to do and take care of. What you need to know at this moment is that not everything is your responsibility: people’s actions, their poor life choices or how they live their life. You might be a person who (not exactly likes, but more of feels the need to help others at the expense of your own mental well being/emotions/mood even. You may simply just be used of being the “problem solver” & emotional trashbin for others) likes helping others, always be there for them and listen when they have struggles, but what you may not see is that by always being there for others u may create in them what I’ve read psychologists call “learned incompetence”. Basically by doing a task for someone (that was not yours to begin with) and letting them vent nonstop u’ve made them incompetent to deal with their own issues bc they may think you will always be there to fix it for them. Main message for this pile; prioritise yourself even if this means cutting ppl off because they drain you emotionally, not every person deserves explanation for how you decide to react to their behavior. Don’t be part of confrontations.
Extra message: beware of people who try to play “saints” in your life, such who have victim complex and always have a problem with everyone.
Everyone gets what they deserve in the end.
- After a tough emotional period your situation may quickly turn to positive and joyful. You may meet new friends.
Good luck🙏🏻
Pile 3:
Lost cherry.
- Very soon you might receive news you’ve been waiting for a long time. May be in a form of email/letter or a friend telling you. You may have felt like you’ve “lost yourself” a bit recently and after receiving these news you will definitely feel more at peace. Some may have been thru a breakup recently, you may finally start feeling better and more like yourself.
- you may meet a potential love interest soon or if you already have someone concrete in mind you communicate with (don’t be delulu having random crushes) you may actually begin a romantic relationship with them ( the energy I get is quite positive).
- you may need to follow “tradition” or already tried methods or consulting with a wise person if you need help with someting. (Or simply a tip)
Pile 4:
Hypnotic poison.
- You may reunite with an old friend soon. (Im particularly getting one you may know from school, but may not applicable for all)
- You may end or will end soon a chapter of your life in order to make space for better things to come.
- You may find understanding/help from someone you have not expected, while at the same time be dissapointed of someone you had trust in and expected to be there for you.
- No matter the circumstances try not to be too cocky and egoistical. You may currently be very motivated for success and have recently gained a lot of confidence due to something in your life. Keep yourself grounded and do not forget where you come from.
That was all from today’s PAC. I apologise for not including the name of the cards which fell for all the piles but I accidentally put them back in the deck and forgot to write them lol..Hope you enjoyed it tho!!
Photos are from pinterest; all credits to their respective owners.
Leave a comment/feedback if it resonated, share and follow for more.
- La Sirena💋
#tarot#lasirenatarot#tarotblr#tarot blog#tarot reading#pac#free tarot readings#pick a pile#pick a card reading#pick a photo#pick a card#channeled message#general reading#tarot readings#perfume#dior#baccarat
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actually, since i already commented on your post about tulpas and how they pissed me off; im gonna do it again. in detail.
note: i am a former buddhist, i live in a buddhist country. (95% of thais are buddhists) and pretty much been surrounded by it. im asian. saying it before people jump at me because im terrified as shit
as i mentioned, tulpas are stolen and bastardized completely from a tribe of tibetan buddhists, and the practice itself isn't even a system thing. while thai buddhism and tibetan buddhism are different in their own way, i am very fucking pissed off that they just saw the concept of a thoughtform spirit that helps you meditate, overcome your fear and guide you to nirvana (because that's the main purpose of buddhism) and turn them into "oh! we make alters because we can due to our meditation and we're spiritual so that totally excuses using a generally closed practice! we're not harming anyone!" total bullshit.
i don't want (and sorry if i'm a bit mean) those bigoted fucks stealing basically my culture since im attached to buddhism in general, i grew up with it. and "tulpa systems" slapping it on themselves for the sake of being "unique". i have seen countless comments and posts about how its always the white/non asian people that say "no its not a closed practice, its not cultural appropriation :) actually you should be glad we're appreciating your culture in the first place" fuck off! appreciating culture is fine, but you bastardize it so much and dumb it down to just "making alters/imaginary friends" are you just hearing yourself? are you stupid? are you braindead? god, im getting so angry again.
i have also seen "tulpamancers" insulting actual asians like me who speak against tulpas, saying that we're just "asian token of a character" or that we're "closed minded" and should accept these assholes who dont know what theyre doing into my culture and blatantly disrespecting it, spitting on it and just taking one practice that fits their narrative. wow, talk about being appreciative while half of your community does shit like this to actual buddhists, huh? real nice of you. way to go, you cultural appropriating fucks. /vneg
i cannot count how many times asian culture is so whitewashed on the internet, people that just take our tradition and do whatever the hell they want with it, including making a system out of thoughtforms, which is not possible whatsoever. and for what? FOR WHAT? for your own sick entertainment and enjoyment of having a imaginary friend in your head? try dissociating so hard you cry yourself to sleep you absolute pillock. this is a very angry submission, but it just frustrates me so much. all of the insulting "yous" are directed towards "tulpamancers" that they proudly call themselves. by the way. sorry if it sounded like it was directed at you, im just so angry at the moment.
one last thing. Stop. Using. The Term. Tulpa. For your system. Please!!!!. tulpa systems are not a thing and will never be. End of story. Nothing will change that. Endos fuck off. im sick of your shit. thanks for reading my angry rant.
-azriel for the majority of this, rox/virus proofreading some of the parts, thanks for letting us vent ^^
i dont have much to add, please read this ^^
#important psa about tuplas#no you can't be a tupla system#fuck off#endos dni#tupla systems dni#anti endo#did#did system#plural#actually did#alters#system#endos fuck off#did osdd
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curating reading lists (without social media)
a guide to finding stuff to read, for @divorceblogger. this is a guide specifically for avoiding things like goodreads/storygraph etc which aggregate books that are popular without being all that helpful for finding things on niche/specialist topics.
a bit of housekeeping before getting to the actual list-making tips:
i mostly read nonfiction targeted at both academic and popular audiences. i also read a mixture of classic lit, genre fiction, zines & conceptual/artists’ books, and playtexts & poetry. i read traditional print books, non-traditional print publications, PDF and ePub ebooks on an iPad/iPhone, and listen to audiobooks and audio dramas.
i have a infinite number of books i want to read. the discovery process of new & interesting outstrips my capacity to read them all, so i have to be extremely selective. this also means i never tolerate a book i’m not enjoying. it can have weak points, but i have to be getting something out of the experience, or else i am wasting my one wild n precious life, ya feel?
my goal is to read for quality, not for quantity. i tend to dislike a lot of online reading communities for their focus on metrics (number of books, page count, word count, etc). i bristle at tools that try to push my reading into this direction. i have a reading practice, in the same sense that one would have an artistic practice. thinking of my reading as a practice — rather than a project, a thing to be completed and checked off the checklist — helps orient me towards patterns of thinking that serve me better
i work in the arts industry, so fiction and non-fiction books are reference tools. when I finish reading a book, I put it back on the shelf, like returning a tool to the toolbox until it is time to use it again. i live in a bachelor flat, so obvs i have to resist the incessant pressures of consumerism, but it doesn’t bother me that i have not read every book that i own. they are there for when i get to them. similarly, i would not be bothered by owning a kitchen fire extinguisher that i have not used.
where do I keep my reading lists?
Obsidian: for organising to-read lists on specific topics, genres, eras, locations, etc. i repeat books across multiple lists where appropriate. i don’t keep a single master list of everything I want to read because it would simply be too unwieldy to manage. Small focused lists of no more than ~25 books on the topic are best, imo.
TinyCat: for cataloguing physical books that i own. i have a shortcut to the website on my phone so i can easily pull it up if i can’t remember what books in a series i already have. i can tag anything unread with my “antilibrary” tag. for my own amusement, i also insert library pockets and circulation cards into my books and stamp them with the date completed (using my beloved rotary date stamp). i can also stamp the date a friend who borrowed the book completed it. i like seeing the signatures add up over time.
Zotero: for academic bibliographic citations. useful habit to get into if you transcribe lots of quotes from yr readings into yr notes.
how do i develop my reading lists?
i usually develop my reading lists through a combination of concerted effort to research a topic & ambient browsing. this isn’t Abt How to rigorously conduct research though so im gonna focus more on ~letting books organically find me~
when i have a book that i enjoy, i see if the author has written any more books on topics that interest me. incredibly basic 101 advice but somehow people still miss this one.
check the bibliographies & acknowledgements. if something comes up in bibliography after bibliography, its usually a good sign its worth checking out. also, authors usually thank other authors in their acknowledgements, its a great way to start building an idea
i love when artists talk abt their influences in interviews, like this interview abt what influences and easter eggs there are in disco elysium (i screamed at the Einstürzende Neubauten reveal!!!). i love when fans come up with their own reading lists for media, like my list speculating what daniel molloy would have read and watched in 1973.
when i am travelling somewhere i try to read something related to the to place I am going. Wikipedia is a first easy point of reference to find out if yr destination is famous for being the birthplace of X poet or Y film is set there.
tertiary sources. secondary sources are about a primary source, whereas tertiary sources aim to provide an overview of the major debates in those secondary sources on a specific topic rather than to generate their own new ideas/arguments. the oxford university press “a very short introduction” series varies in quality but its often a very useful starting point.
recs from friends/gifts. my loved ones know i like books, and books are usually a cheap & easy gift for holidays & special occasions. i gift books that i want to read myself, so we can talk abt the book together.
what physical locations do I browse?
Local library, university library. You might be even be able to get a specialist library card to an archive or museum reading room. Some public libraries also have special collections like the Seattle Zine Library.
For-sale section in the local library. proceeds usually go to supporting the library
local secondhand bookshop. there are several in walking distance, i usually hit them up quarterly, especially as i gift a lot of secondhand books
local independent bookshops. several local independent bookstores host an annual bookstore crawl where if you get a stamp from all of them in one weekend u enter a draw to win $1000 gift card :)
thrift store/charity shop/antique markets. there is usually a section with books even if the main focus is clothes/furniture
book events. author talks, staged readings of new plays, poetry readings, book/lit mag launch parties, Writers Festivals, small/independent press fair, rare book fair, zine fests, international library day, conferences
bookshelves at house parties. im 100% the person checking out yr bookshelf at a house party. great place to get yr flirt on.
travel. basically any new place im going, i look-up in advance the local library, second hand bookstores, charity shops, antiques stores etc. and save them in my maps on my phone. if i can conveniently pop into one while im there, neat! i particularly like municipal libraries bc the big ones are usually architecturally interesting (like the Vancouver Public Library) and the small ones are usually really charming and full of specific local history, leaflets to interesting local stuff, etc.
what online locations do I browse?
navigating the online catalogue to yr local & academic libraries is a whole skill unto itself. i was very fortunate be born in the late 90s and to have a specific local librarian teach me boolean operators before i could tie my shoelaces, ride a bike, or, frankly, do most human being things (shoutout to Miss T yr a real one). your library very likely has something like a workshop or at the very least a help desk that can help u with this if needed.
mailing lists of small/independent presses.
publishers websites (academic and general audience).
wikipedia. u can look at the footnotes section on wikipedia. its free. its legal.
looking up university syllabi. some are on profs’ websites, some are available through the university library. there is also the Open Syllabus website which aggregates the most often mentioned books in submitted syllabi, organised by discipline or through a visual map.
what’s available on libby/borrowbox.
Archive dot org and google books/google scholar to read the previews and judge if the book is worth following up on.
i didn’t actually include any selections of my personal reading lists, but if you would like to know more you can always shoot me an ask with a specific topic in mind.
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hey, I saw a post reblogged around hating the whole idea of no kink at pride and wanted to understand why that was, but noticed the comments were turned off, so I'm asking here. for reference I dont know very much about the subject and had the general idea that pride should be an all ages space, BUT (the but is very important) since I dont have much knowledge on the subject and can see you are very opinionated around it, id like to know why that is your stance from, well, someone who actually holds that stance.
No pressure to answer I simply want to understand why others hold this stance, the potential history behind it and if I am looking at things the wrong way, a chance to change my opinion
I hope all of this comes across correctly because im not trying to start internet discourse, just learn and have a well rounded understanding of a subject before taking a more solid stance
CW: discussion of sex, homophobia, kink, common anti-kink lies
Okay so if you're not read up on queer history, you have to understand that "deviant," "indecent" or "degenerate" sexuality is an accusation that's been used to repress queer people for pretty much as long as the concept has existed. It has often extended so far as to encompass any form of sex that isn't missionary cishet boning for the purpose of procreation, but it has always and by definition encompassed any and all ways that queer people have sex.
Now, I want to be clear that the LGBTQ+ community is not entirely about sex. Our community touches love, passion, art, gaming, basically every sphere of human experience, but it also includes sex. A lot of queer people like to have sex! Queer people, however, are judged for having and enjoying sex in a way that straight people simply aren't.
It's important to note that the concept of "degeneracy" is a vital component to white supremacist repression of queer people, because it inserts the necessary moral proposition that allows sex between two consenting adults to be labelled as harmful. As cynical as I am about the general public, it's actually pretty difficult to convince the average person that gay sex is something the government needs to repress in and of itself; any argument to this effect needs to come packaged with an additional, vaguely credible concern about social corrosion.
This is much easier to do with kinksters, because kinksters are weirder-looking than shirt-and-slacks queers (who, to be clear, are equally valid). But it's still difficult to make the average member of the public balk, because they'll say "well that sure is freaky but so long as they're doing it in private, who gives a shit?" So long as the people you're trying to stir up hate against aren't doing anything illegal, the average member of the public is gonna think you're the weird one for digging into other peoples' private sex lives.
Thus, the easiest avenue of attack is Pride, where it isn't in private. But it's a fucking deceitful canard. Straight people never have to answer for public displays of their sexuality, which are often far more gratuitous than some dude walking around in a pup mask.
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HOW THEY HUG YOU
CONTENT: self indulgent hcs on how my fav characters give hugs! just pure fluff, nothing more. giyuu and rengoku may be ooc because this is my first time writing for them and im still learning!
WORD COUNT: 771
AUTHOR NOTE: guess who can’t sleep again lol! i’ve been battling a pretty severe episode for a while now, and i’m trying to pick myself up again so i thought i’d write some fluffy hcs for my comfort ppl! remember that you’re loved, friend!
SATORU GOJO - NECK HUGS
Satoru hugs as though he’s never known personal space. It’s probably because of his infinity, and how he never lets anyone get close to him; so, he’s gonna be as close to you, any chance he gets.
He’s clingy, but not overbearing. He’d ring his arms around you and pull you into him. Holding you close and feeling you bury your face in the crook of his neck is his kryptonite, he loves it.
While he hugs you, Satoru would gently rub your back or run a hand through your hair. Or, if you just need to be held, he’ll understand. Satoru isn’t the best at communicating, but he’ll comfort you with gentle words as much as he can.
Depending on why he’s hugging you, Satoru’s hugs can be a little tight. If he’s happy, you’re gonna be seeing stars because of the lack of oxygen. If he’s a little low, it’s a lot more gentle, so much so that it startled you the first time he softly melted into you, arms snaking around your neck and pulling you in.
KYOJURO RENGOKU - BEAR HUG
Kyojuro’s hugs melt your heart faster than his flames ever could. He’s so gentle, wrapping his arms around you, one looped under your arm and the other around your shoulder as he pulled you in. His look of sympathy disappears as you fall into his chest, close to his heart as he sets yours ablaze.
Contrary to his extroverted nature, Kyojuro’s hugs are very gentle. He’s a hashira, he knows how to protect people and keep them safe. You half-expected to be squeezed to death by him, but was pleasantly surprised when you found yourself safely cooped up in his embrace.
When he hugs you, his hands instinctively move to your hair, the arm snaking around your shoulder gently moving as fingers run through your hair to soothe your woes. He’ll whisper affirmations and words of comfort to you, telling you that it’s more than okay to find yourself in a moment of vulnerability such as the ones you both share when you hug.
He’s the best hugger known to man and you cannot change my mind. He’s used to giving Senjuro lots of hugs, so he’s basically a trained professional.
KEIGO TAKAMI - WAIST HUG
Keigo loves hugging you and having you close, he’s rather protective of you and hates having you away from him. Sure, he could always send a feather to you, but that’s not close enough, even if his feathers are a part of him. If he could, he’d become one with you. After an isolating childhood, Keigo craved attention and closeness.
His arms snake around your waist, gently holding your sides as he pulls you close and wraps his wings around you, cocooning you in his warmth, the safety of his plumage. His feathers only add to the softness of the hug, their feel is great for grounding people should they need it.
When he hugs you, Keigo loves peppering you with kisses, seeing you smile and giggle in response, He loves seeing your soft, flushing face as he pecks at your cheeks and dotes on you. His favourite thing to do is give your forehead gentle kisses or caress your back with a feather or too, anything to make you feel more comfortable and safe.
He’ll whisper to you and remind you that you’re loved, that things will be okay. He’s good with words, since he interacts with his fans and other heroes a lot. Though, this doesn’t mean his words are empty, Keigo would move boulders for you. After all, with Japan’s no. 2 around, nothing would ever be able to hurt you, not when you were in his arms.
GIYUU TOMIOKA - LOCK HUG
Bless his heart, Giyuu isn’t the best at comforting people sometimes. But he tries for you, nonetheless. He’ll offer you his haori, heart melting when he sees you slide it over your shoulders before he locks your arms to your sides with a hug, His arms around yours as he pulls you into his chest with a worried expression; he’s either overthinking a little on how to help you more, or concerned for you. But, it’s definitely both.
His hugs are light as a feather, not much pressure at all. He doesn’t want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable, he’ll protect you no matter what. He’s proud of you, grateful that you felt comfortable enough to let your guard down in front of him, and he wants to repay you by giving you the best comfort he can muster.
When he hugs you, he’ll gently whisper to you, tell you that everything is alright, you’re safe with him. He’ll hear your soft replies, smiling to himself as he feels you nestle deep into the crook of his neck.
Giyuu’s hugs can be somewhat timid, but he’s trying his best! You’re healing together, and his hugs heal him more than recovery breathing ever could.
#<3#multifandom post oopsie#gojo satoru x gn!reader#satoru gojo imagine#satoru gojo#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo imagines#gojo satoru headcanons#satoru gojo headcanons#jjk x gender neutral reader#jjk imagines#jjk headcanons#kny imagines#kny headcanons#demon slayer imagines#demon slayer headcanons#demon slayer x reader#giyuu tomioka#rengoku kyojuro#rengoku x reader#giyuu x reader#keigo takami#bnha headcanons#mha headcanons#mha imagines#bnha imagines#keigo takami imagine#hawks imagines#hawks x gn reader#hawks x reader
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Do you have an idea of what you're going to write next ?
Yes... And No.
The current plan is to write my dragon fic. I looove dragons, and I've always loved fics that make my favs dragons. Hoarding Humans is a good example of that ;P I really wanna do it myself! I feel a little weird directly using the concept of HH (just the idea of a dragon's hoard being humans! i've been obsessed with it ever since!!)... I know there's a whole Inspired tab thing on ao3 but remember I was brought up in the animation meme community trenches. I've seen some very vile things said to ""copycats"" (and it's usually just somebody who took inspiration off of someone elses art style or a certain part of another persons meme @_@ don't get me STARTED on the ragebait...) and I am not in the proper emotional state to handle that right now QwQ
However that doesn't mean I can't write about dragons. I have some ideas in mind-- I've properly conceptualized my go-to fantasy world for AUs like this. I know who the main cast would generally be (DICE! Kokichi rounds up some of his classmates from in game :P so people like Gonta, K1B0, Miu, Kaede, Rantaro. . . maybe Kirumi? I have lore trust me. I'm cooking.) I know the main premise of the story, and it goes into my own bullshit with dragons, because lord knows I ever follow any actual myths or tales (´゚ω゚`) (i read wings of fire that's good enough for me!!!)
I am still trying to learn how to draw dragons in a way I like though. Here's my concept for Maki and Shuichi ^^"
Overall the chances of this fic happening after HGH, as of right now, are fairly high. This is what I plan to write once I'm done with HGH.
But please, please please keep in mind that I . . . am absolutely horrible with making promises about my fics. I'm so forgetful I forget to even check my notes to see what I've forgotten. T_T my fics would be a tiny bit better than they are now if I actually kept track of wtf im doing. maybe i should make a checklist.
Point is, I don't know if this is what I'll write once HGH is done. I've done some estimating and while, for once, I do not have a concrete ending in mind, I can guess how long this'll be. I think... it might be around as long as M5? Somewhere around that 130k mark. Again!! I'm not sure!! I need to figure out what I'm gonna be doing for the non-Tsumugi half of the "recovery" arc, so who knows what the word count for this is gonna be T_T. MY POINT!! MY POINT IS THAT!!! It could change. By the time I'm done with HGH, I might write this dragon fic. I might write a differeny fic. Or I'll lose motivation to write anything for a bit. Lord I am yapping so I'll move on
Que transition, with all that being said, I do have Other ideas in mind!! Ones I've been sitting on for a while!
ONE. Saimatsu mansion :D I've mentioned it here and there, but the idea is that Shuichi and Kaede are plopped on an island and have to escape. It's one of those more out there ideas G_G and I haven't really descended into my full levels of insanity yet (wait until i start posting my crossover aus /j), but this would be bordering on it. I have some more minor ideas for this one, but I haven't rlly explored it yet :'3
TWO. remember unexpendable? yeah so i. i really really like crossover aus. almost as much as i like giving them superpowers. I was thinking of an Undertale x DR fic where I drop Shuichi into the underground. Undertale is super special to me,, it got me out of a really dark place. My favorite OC of mine (Montserrat<3) is an Undertale OC! So I think it'd be a lot of fun, especially since Danganronpa is basically the reason I'm like?? actually living now XD I got a job because posting my DR fics helped me overcome enough of my social anxiety to get employed. So!! It'd be nice. i also think shuichi and papyrus would get along do NOT @ me also undyne would scare the shit out of him. Anyways I dunno if this would be another oneshot, considering the, uh. length of the game. and how insane i could rlly go if i went into the neutral /genocide route stuff too. I dunno. It'd be fun :P i also have doodles wait
THREE. I don't know what could and couldn't be used for a plot twist so I'll keep it vague, but basically it's a fic that involves the ENTIRE CAST. A bit of a challenge for myself. Everyone's back! And all of the blackeneds revert to, like... HGH levels of despairs. So it's up to everyone whos still normal to find a way to make them also normal before, uh. things get worse. TV GIRL BLAST 💥 (oh yeah this would be a kaede-centric fic! her pov for the majority. i had a lot of fun writing her during Unexpendable and i miss her </3)
FOUR. i got really into in stars and time so now i'm even more not normal about time loops. so let's put shuichi in another one! but i wanted to shake it up a bit and really let my less canon-reliant, more creative side flow a bit. It'd also be kind of a message to myself about life... WHATEVER Thats not important. What is important is, hey! I've been watching WAY too many Minecraft ARG analysises than what could possibly be considered healthy for my anxiety, so now I want to sic a bunch of them on Shuichi. this things unfinished because i only have very vague ideas for a few of the loops... but the overarching idea is that even the smallest (but impactful!) change in a choice can lead to an entirely different loop, with an entirely different entity. and during all of the loops, shuichi gets little bits and pieces to the bigger picture, which will break him out of the loops. idk this seems like a big and tiring project so this is more of a "maybe" than the others but i still think it's cool :')
FIVE. ok this one isn't danganronpa... remember when I said I was super into In Stars and Time? I wanted to write an ISAT fic. Siffrin and Bonnie are so so special to me and i wanted to indulge in that. I haven't rlly been writing in my oneshots though so I don't really have a grip on writing anyone from ISAT,, so. :( i have to spiral into full insanity privately before i can determine what is safe to show the internet /hj
And that is all I can think of off the top of my head. :P These ideas have been brewing for quite a bit, and ones that have actual ideas to them. I dunno which one I'll write first... or even if I'll write them. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Who knows? Maybe I'll break my rules about writing two fics at a time. Just give me time ... and please be patient. I can only write so fast \(_ _)
#anon asks#the anxiety meds are kicking in i'm not even afraid to post this#i'm also getting tired so maybe that's why?#but yeah as you can tell. lots of ideas rattling around in this skull of mine
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Silly Helluva Boss Rant/Critic
!Spoiler Warning!
NOTE: I Am NOT A Professional Writer, This Is My OPINION On Season 2. If Opinions Trigger You, Dont Read.
i have so much to say about this stupid show oh my gosh where do i even start?
honestly i just miss the older episodes of the show, like season 1, when it was just silly demon comedy and viv wasnt trying to add depth to the characters. even though originally i liked the idea of more depth in the show when episode 7 happened. but clearly viv doesnt know how to write characters. blitz(obviously cuz hes the main character) and verosika(somehow) are the only half decent characters imo. but thats not saying much
i love the shorts though. they feel like mini season 1 episodes.
in episode 7, it introduced a conflict between stolas and blitz. but then it put it off the ENTIRE SEASON til full moon which was 8 episodes. and in those 8 episodes, blitz and stolas just acted like nothing happened?? no mention of it at all?
and full moon was hyped up so much for what? there was like 5 minutes of actual stolitz. the entire episode was basically about the cherubs, agents, and blitz buying sex toys.
and all the conflict is so fucking forced. all these fucks need to do is communicate omg. like in full moon , if stolas let blitz talk to him at the end, we'd be done. blitz clearly has a hard time opening up and being vunerable but he was about to actually talk with stolas BUT NO stolas teleports him outside so they can stretch it on a couple more episodes! and then in sinsmas when stolas and octavia are fighting if octavia just listened, it would be over. but of course, we still need more drama even though the show was better WITHOUT it.
mastermind wasnt all that good tbh. i feel like it needed more time. and the fake out deaths bored me. viv already confirmed that the end of season 1 would have canon stolitz so obviously they werent gonna kill blitz or stolas. but andrealphus' plan made no sense. like, it completely depended on stolas watching tv at the exact time the broadcast happened and there being no live delay. comedy was actually pretty good though. and the stolas poor arc seems fun.
and the only slightly good that came out of the stolitz mess was ghostfuckers(aka the millie episode) cuz blitz was sad abt stolas. but im very glad we got that because i started watching around like episode 2 release(which means i waited 4 YEARS) and i always really liked millie(i love strong women) and im actually quite happy with it even if blitz was still technically in the spotlight more. but also shes pregnant. wow. but i feel like the show needed something like that. because i doubt they can stretch the octavia and stolas shit a whole seasons length. so their gonna need something else to bring drama because they love drama.
and unhappy campers. i fucking hate unhappy campers. it baited everyone into thinking it was the millie episode. but she says like two lines that mean something for her character. and moxie felt so ooc too. it was so unfunny. i watched it straight faced. season 2 hasnt been focused on comedy as much as before and its obvious. but usually i at least let out a small chuckle once or twice. BUT NOT THIS EPISODE. and the barbie wire stuff felt shoved in. it literally came out of nowhere. it was just such a shit episode entirely.
fucking stolas used to be my favorite character but all the self-victimizing shit was so annoying especially in apology tour. he said blitz made him uncomfortable but what about all the times he made others umcomfortable? like in harvest moon, when he called blitz blitzy in front of everyone and blitz is clearly embarrassed?? and when he started talking about blitz' dick IN FRONT OF HIS DAUGHTER??? stop acting like a victim, stolas. you arent. i think maybe he got a little better in sinsmas but barely. and this isnt story related, but stolas' voice actor has such a good vocal range?? like the apology tour song blew me away. i love his voice so much.
oh my god, dont get me started on how viv treats octavia.. i used to love octavia and still kinda do... but now theres 3 episodes of just her being mad at her father and its getting REALLY repetitive. and yea, she does have the right to be mad at him because stolas sacrificed himself for blitz, thinking he would die(even if he didnt) which probably hurt her a lot. but i was hoping sinsmas would show us more of her as a person, like her hobbies(ig they showed her singing but so does everyone else in the show soo), her interests, literally anything about her but her being mad at stolas. i was hoping we'd finally see how her and stella feel about eachother. but no. they talked once but could you even call it talking cuz all stella did was take her phone while laughing and octavia didnt say anything. she was clearly annoyed with her mother but that doesnt really give us a dynamic. and also in stolas and vias argument at the end of sinsmas, it felt like she was purposely taking everything he said the wrong way just for more drama. especially about the happy pills thing. stolas said she was the only good thing in his life so she then says shes an obligation. LIKE NO, hes saying he cares. which yea, he might kinda be bad dad but he does try his hardest and she could at least acknowledge that but still be disappointed.
and stella. i was hoping they would end up doing something with her like giving her a back story that made her so bitchy or something. but then the first ep of season 2 turns her into just a villian. she was just born evil apparently because that totally happens. shes literally nothing but a plot device. and im not against plot devices if they actually do their job. like isha from arcane for example, shes a plot device for jinx development but she actually does her job. shes interesting enough and gives you all you need from a plot device. but stella literally just leaves you wanting more. shes barely a character. we know nothing about her. all she does is start more meaningless drama. shes not even likable as a villain.
now, verosika(AKA best character). shes actually kind of well written? i wish we had more of her this season but also dont because they probably wouldve ruined her too. she only had a 5 minute convo with blitz in apology tour but it made me love her so much more. and her trying to help others after blitz hurt them like he hurt her is so sweet. and then her giving blitz cake, acknowedgling he hates himself just as much as everyone else at this party. i love her sm bro. unrelated but her design is so nice. and she looks so good in all her outfits. loved her fit in the 1 second of screentime she had in mastermind. and i immdediatley recognized her voice in the chrsitmas party song and got so happy
also on the official yt video for the verosika song, the second comment said "I guess Blitzo finally enjoys her music now after, I can imagine, years of it tormenting him with guilt and regret" and i would like to agree with that statement.
i think thats all my criticism. so uh.. bye
#helluva boss analysis#helluva boss critical#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critique#vivziepop critical#vivziepop critique#vivziepop criticism#helluva critical#helluva critique#helluva criticism#lunars sillys#hb critical
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hey when are you gonna likee stop stealing arttt its kinda a dick thing to do and makes you look like a huge assholee. im not saying you are idk you but. yk. thats how it makes you look.
Soooo basically what you are asking me to do is stop posting entirely. To stop using Tumblr and continue my already fucked up, miserable life. I know that's not what you really mean, but, to me it does. I don't know what else to post, and I understand that stealing other's art is complete and utter bullshit and is shamed upon on Tumblr (and I should stop). HOWEVER, I will have nothing else to share with my community, and I'll just have to deactivate my account if I start suffering (which is kind of happening already). I can't draw or write shit either, and all I really have that won't get me in trouble is... a bunch of Smash Bros footage where I suck and some memes that are not funny at all?? ...You don't wanna see those, I know you and 57 others don't want to and don't need to. I've gotten 3,900-something notes just on one reposted comic alone. It's how my success started, and yes, I agree with you, it's fucked up is a downright awful thing to do. But please, for the love of God, if you have any suggestions on what you want to see me posting and quit this shit, let me know.
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I don't know enough about your oc's choose whichever one for this ask game.
ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?
desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?
monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?
:D thank you for the ask
im gonna do it for noname and SEA ORG RADIO. "thats two people" you may say. to which i say everything w them is funnier as a duo and frankly if i did just sea he'd be annoying
noname on the left, SEA ORG RADIO on the right (those links go to more detailed bios)
ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?
noname is haunted by childhood in a highly restrictive and isolated cult! He was raised as sort of a golden child, isolated even from the usual cult-typical strong community with the intention of being a sort of enforcer of their ideals. He's out now, but sees echoes of them everywhere he looks(probably not helped by the fact that he's in a story called Cult Of Personality. it comes up a lot). And of course, the fear that they'll come back for him again.
He lives with it through direct action! He's a journalism major who does independent projects writing exposes on various high control groups and helps run and maintain resources for people escaping similar situations to him. He gets a little intense about it, and maybe just a little uses it as a substitute for actually unpacking his own issues. Don't worry about it
sea is also haunted by cult-related happenstance, but in a different way. he was an outsider who was the victim of targeted violence by a cult when he was a kid. or well, attempted victim, it didnt end up working out for the cult. either way he does not remember them fondly.
He lives with it through uh (checks notes) being really into cults. Like not in the "joining them" sense, he thinks that's lame, but he runs a college radio station dedicated to their activities and propaganda, keeps attending various cult meetings uninvited, and keeps trying to hook up with various leaders and/or godly figureheads. I am not quite sure how this helps, but he says it works for him. He and noname tend to uh. argue a lot
Unrelated, sea has been banned from several cults meeting grounds.
desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?
noname has two, basically entwined things, where one is that he wants noone to have to go through what he did, and the other being he wants the group he was raised in to be utterly obliterated so he never has to worry about them again. he's pretty open with both of these! he knows the first one is unrealistic, but thats what he's dedicated all his resources towards and would love for other people to join the fight. he's also open about the second one, and he and sea argue about it, in the sense that sea says its a very achievable goal and he should do it and noname asking sea to stop recommending he murder people. sea says booo coward
what sea wants is to hook up with naten kick davey mistavi in the nuts finish his programming homework yeah I dont know im not getting a straight answer out of him. I think that answers the are they open with it question too. As for why, for a guy who talks a whole fuckin lot he's a surprisingly private person
monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?
Yes for both of them! They're both a kind of entity called a godling, which can mean a lot of different things but in their case both means they're vaguely inhuman omniscient something-or-others. And also it comes with autism. Like, it ended up being written as a metaphor for growing up with autism, and then i gave them autism anyway. That's not relevant, moving on
sea grew up very aware of what he was, with generally supportive parents who weren't exactly human(not godlings either, but tomato tomahto). hes used to adapting to and functioning with all it entails and considers it an integral part of him, so id say accepts
noname on the other hand grew up raised by a cult of more or less normal humans who hid what he was from him, and he didnt know beyond the instinctual feeling of Somethings Not Right until he got out of the cult and went to college. So he is aware, but it's still all a bit new to him, he's very uncomfortable with it and tends to suppress it in ways that aren't too healthy. Not quite rejects but not quite accepts, he's kind of in the middle about it. as i said. he and sea argue a lot
#spark-hearts2#SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG WORK HATES ME#ugh why are we so busy its literally febuary. anyway#HERE YOU GO! MY STUPID SONS#oc talk#if you get what sea's name is a reference to you get a prize#also unrelated but sea is also a computer engineer major
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Thee Antwerp Gig Overview (by #5)
me and @jeevm arrived around 7:50am at the gig, numbers 4 and 5 bc belgians simply are not a queuing people. not much happened beside chaotic uno and trix doing a short interview with us seven? i think at that point i forget
the bus arrived a little before ten am, and we were allowed to sit inside at that point so we just all went outside again and just stood there for a whole ass three hours being clowns.
jaakko, jukka and jesse walked by a few times entirely undisturbed bc belgians also do not talk ever. (and dutch ppl ig). respectful times.
eventually, at around one, Häärijä got off the bus (mostly as a distraction for K going the other way). This man came by like proper we thought he was gonna just walk by, but he waved and then decided to ignore everyone and beeline straight into my direction for a hug? hello? unsure how he still knows what i look like (was not in the yellow tshirt yet bc cold and he hasnt seen me since simerock).
K and Jesse came by as well -- please note at this point there were like goddamn 40 people there. Nothing like the Munich papal visit scenes at any point.
K just the nicest. Didn't remember me from simerock (fair, it was a factory of photographs) and was like wtf rollo (as per ushe), complimented my boots bc he likes them (they are r+ but usually kids sizes) and i got to be "mean" abt the r+ ticket sale and the bus making it stressful. When he asked it I wanted him to sign anything, I didn't have anything and he just offered to sign my boots? Man did not expect the clown to clown communication that was happening bc he seemed very oh god for real when I agreed.
Someone gave him a necklace and instantly wanted to put it on. The person who gave it couldn't fasten it bc nails/shaking hands so I offered to try and then idk how it got fastened bc christ I shook as well. Not helpful: Mikke both filming that and the boot signing up close 😭
Told Jesse he told me at simerock that I should just join the tour bus and he went "yeah that sounds like something I would say." then scolded me for not having been in Berlin for that 😭
H wandered back and forth a bit, had another weird football chat (rip hazards career) where I was sitting on a little wall, back to the bus still at that point, and he just leaned into me turning around and just held my shoulders the entire time? When I got sweaty and took my hoodie off later he also suddenly grabbed my tshirt when it was riding up I am Feeling Fine.
Was wearing the yellow tshirt w the cross stitch and he made me turn to show Jesse??? And Jesse did the nicest "wait can I touch this?" bc I guess he thought it would be fragile???
People formed a nice selfie line and K just said he's santa claus 🎅
H vanished, then came back out of the bus, and we had a weird mime moment bc I wasnt sure if he was motioning at me to get to him away from the rest. He was and I got fucking free merch??? Like free, not yet available merch. Genuinely what the FUCK. Im making an extra post abt this most likely bc I cannot explain what the hell happened in that moment and the things around it.
When Mikke did the interview w the first queuer, H just stood behind the glass door into the venue and started miming at us. Like not even properly in character? Help.
Gig
Jesus Belgian audiences proving once again we just Are like that. Refusing to goddamn shut up. Every time. Man disallowed to banter by loud belgian screaming. He seemed so touched though jesus christ time to cry
Got roasted for basically slut dropping and shooting my Häärijä sign up in the air before Mic Mac. "yes that mean fucking häärijä" local man fed up w my antics.
Got roasted AGAIN straight after Mic Mac because I was the person he pointed at during the "this is your home now" bit. (promptly decided diving behind the barrier and Face In Hands was the best reply)
Mild bit before the 2nd Cha Cha Cha as I was the front row person he called out for not sitting down. Just yelled that I got bad knees and I'm not sure anyone caught his reply properly 😂
Overall 10/10 excellent gig what the HELL. The belly flop on the balloon, the whole banter before paidaton bc so much of the queue ppl I was with took their shirt off, the way we refused to kept chanting, him trying to eat the bubbles, him talking about Hs dick and the whole balls convo??
Post Gig
Had to pick up merch for a few people, so went with the hope of a third Häärijä hug. He eventually got a bit held up outside of merch by people (lit at the door into the merch room) and I got to just "Sorry it's me again" but he just instantly hug. We talked a little about the gig (did I like it, how I was doing) and like K feeling much better/doing better ft. some dumb crap.
Merch was in fact gotten after I just LOST my friends bc of H.
CANNOT wait for London. and Glasgow but thats with normal people. Like met so many fun people in the queue who are going to be at London jesus christ. Party time.
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Tell me . More about your cult of the lamb au :3
I'm specifically curious about the idea that lamb could have been a priest of a religion based around a warped version of Narinder (you could say... a cult)
How did they warp his image? Does he know about it? How long has the religion been around- does it dissappear when the lamb is sacrificed? Grrrr I am so curious!!!
RAHHHH ITS 5AM THE PERFECT TIME TO ANSWER THIS OF COURSE !!!
ok first of all, english is not my first language so if theres something you didnt quite understand lmk pls 🤝
sooo,,, an incredibly long explanation is incoming!
im gonna be honest, this all originated from A Single™️ line that Shamura said in-game. This One:
"The lamb is, after all, the sacrificial beast. Bred to slaughter"
Since the first time i read it, it kept lingering in my mind because, wdym.
In my own madness, that lines existence means that, even before the lamb genocide happened, the bishops considered lambs as some kind of free soul resource they could use for sacrifice with no repercussions. And thanks to that, ive been constantly in a state of Making Things Up In My Mind Until Shit Starts To Make Sense.
And heres where, basically everything comes into play. The lambs were Narinders cult, to some extent. They were assigned to him, courtesy of his siblings, to be literally the pastor of them, yknow, protecting them and guiding them until the time to be sacrificed came. However, those sacrifices were never for him. Those were for the rest of the bishops.
Let me explain! One thing i LOVE with what the community has done in COTLs lore understanding is the way we see the crowns powers. like HELL YEAH they are NOT a single concept they EMBRACE the whole spectrum of said concept! Including everything that may be considered "good" and "bad"!!!
AND NOW, the important thing with this,,,,
In-game, after indoctrinating the bishops into your cult, and completing each individual quest for them, they kind of tell you where they got their crowns? the version of the game ive been playing is the spanish one, and honestly i hadnt read those same dialogues in english to see if they actually translated them faithfully, but oh well!
Thats what i got from it; with the four telling you how they were basically normal creatures before finding the crowns. mind you, finding
We are talking about a culture in wich gods were kind of the basic population, maybe in the timespan before that weird "war" happened; youd think they would be more careful with those things no? Exactly!
The bishops werent properly crowned!!! :000
THIS MEANS, in my mind, that they had absolute zero knowledge of what those crowns fully embrace!!
This, also, is where i have a loose knot, for i still hadnt come to a reasonable explanation on how Narinder got his, for he seems to be the only one who wasnt a crawling creature before the crown, possibly meaning he WAS properly crowned. ill work more on this in the future :P
SO, before i start expanding waaaay more, this is where i wanted to get to, but itll be on giant general terms that i promise ill explain with more detail in the future:
the bishops didn't believe in death having some kind of spectrum to it, one that they used on their own personal gain, receiving offerings and such in exchange of "good things". As a result, they kind of excluded him, in a not so catastrophic way like you might think, but rather in a "your domain is of no use to us" kind of way.
This was a result of Shamuras doing, for they were the only bishop who got to understand what a crown entails, knowledge being in their domain after all
(as a little side note, i FUCKING LOVE what this implies. Yknow? that the contrary of war is not peace but rather knowledge, because the more informed you are the more able to see what kind of shit youre doing, yet also functioning as the greatest weapon to use in the field IS PEAK TO ME)
What Shamura was trying to do was protect him. They were very afraid of him, and in trying to make that fear go away, they decided to kind of "keep" the truth away. This resulted in him never exploiting his full domain, wich then led to ppl believing that praying to death was basically useless, unless you did it to get consolation, wich meant there were no offerings or sacrifices in his name.
Now, as the pastor of the lambs Narinder hated the way the other bishops treated them. The lambs were kept in some kind of village, from where they, whenever they wanted, could choose any lamb and make Narinder sacrifice them in their name. Even kids!
Well, after this half-assed explanation bc i didnt want to make it way longer, here comes the actual answer to your question! (sorry!)
the religion started the moment the lambs managed to escape the place they were kept in. the situation that led to this, was the same one that sparked the conflict between siblings: a resurrection.
even if Narinder was their patron god, the lambs never had contact with him until the time to sacrifice came. here youre gonna meet ellen! shes a missing link i had to write into the story for it to make more sense. she is, also, the culprit for that religion to exist!
Basically, that day they had sacrificed her lover. they were planning to escape that night, but sadly they had no chance on knowing who was to be chosed for slaughter next. instead of praying to their god, she insulted him, with such a burning passion, Narinder knew this was his opportunity.
he made a deal with her. he would revive her lover, and in exchange she would leave and never tell anyone what happened. the only gain Narinder was going to have with this was the knowledge that he could actually revive ppl, so it was a total win-win.
ellen, however, saw this as death being the kindest god to ever exist, and she felt incredibly lucky, for she was the first and only to ever be offered this.
we all know how this went, though. the ritual was interrupted by the bishops, they started arguing, Narinder did what he did etc etc
she escaped, alongside her whole village, and decided to mask her selfish act with sermons about how Narinder sacrificed himself so they could live better lives, and how he had choose her to be the carrier of his word. it was all made up ofc.
so, for a millenia, the lambs were worshipping an incredibly distorted version of Narinder. They didnt even get his name, nor his title. They only knew him as death. This also meant Narinder never got to know about this. As far as his knowledge go, the lambs may all had been sacrificed without any regulation in the next coming days after his imprisonment. None on his name, tho
fast forward and we get to Lambert! theyre the last priest to this religion, both figuratively and literally
the way priests and priestesses (?) work in here is something that in on itself deserve its own post, but on general terms:
in catholicism the priest is a person who got religious preparation to serve god and spread His word. they are meant to be chaste, kind, and just. they are also meant to be "served", to some extent.
in here, priests are more like the leaders of the lamb population, replacing Narinders role back in the day. they were all following a rule that only female direct descendants from ellen could get that title which OF COURSE MEANS IT WAS A TRANS DOMINATED FIELD LETS FUCKING GO (projecting much? LMAOOO)
so, yeah! they guide and serve! so imagine Lamberts pain after the bishops kill not only their family, but their Whole Fucking Species in front of their eyes!!! lads flabbergasted!!!!
and thats it! thats how they got a distorted version of Narinder for worship. No, he had no idea that both the lambs were still alive and that they had been worshipping him in a completely different way than intended. and yes! the religion did disappear once lambert got sacrificed! but to explain what actually happened there i need to make another pointlessly big paragraph and honestly i think i already abused my yapping rights for today!
i promise, all these concepts WILL be treated at their own pace, but it may take time for me to develop them nicely!
if you, however, fancy keep asking questions for me to go apeshit at them, PLEASE PLASE PLEASE DO SO!!!!!!
MAN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK YOU MADE MY WHOLE WEEK!!!! you asked about the EXACT point ive been DYING to expand more on THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!
#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl au#GENTE GANAMOS!!!!#RAHHHHHHHHHHH 💥💥🦅💥🦅💥🦅💥#no me juzguen por ser fan de cotl#naci por mi madre moriré por comer unos hongos rojo que encontré en el bosque#THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN!!!!!
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Agent Phoenix head canons (real not fake but cringe)
Hi tumblr. This is my first text post don’t make fun of my poor outlining 💔
ok so i feel i should section this i have a lot to say
hopefully this is entertaining..btw a lot of this is based on my own personal actions when playing as the Phoenix also I’m not completely set on a lot of these
Sections:
- kinesium and communication
-communication generally
-sexuality / gender
-appearance
-relationships (still not 100% on these)
Kinesium and Communication
We should note that Phoenix (gonna call him AP from now on for simplicity sake) is completely mute minus a few noises such as coughing or gasping.
Also note that Roxana Prism doesn’t even know the full power that kinesium can have when harnessed by a person such as AP. (We know this from her remark of shock at the very end of IEYTD 3)
The agency being full of people with kinesium in there head giving them the ability to use telekinesis means all of them are connected in a way. AP is able to use the connection of all the kinesium to communicate telepathically with anyone in the agency. The first time they did this is was to The Handler on one of their early missions. They had no idea they could do it and actually they were calling handler a bad name. Once the handler just heard a voice in his head replying to what he said to AP he thought he was going crazy. AP didnt know how they did it and they eventually sat down with handler and they figured it out. AP eventually was able to regularly reply to the handler during missions and communicate with more ease to fellow agency members.
Outside of people with kinesium in their brains, AP uses sign language. Though they will only do this if they absolutely need to talk to someone outside of the agency. When it comes to Zor members they will refuse to reply to them at all. They will make rude hand gestures or faces in response, no coherent replies to anyone.
This is with exception to Dr.Prism. They regularly tried to reason with or converse with her specifically in Mission KBOOM. Dr.Prism doesn’t have kinesium in her head (i think?) so they used sign language to talk to her. She would know ASL because i think id be agency policy for the sake of deaf agents and AP.
Example of AP using sign to communicate. (I think here, they didnt want handler to know their reply but wanted to reply… by thinking of responding to handler he accidentally let him know what they said.. lol)
Sexuality and Gender
I don’t think AP would care enough to consider labeling their own gender or sexual orientation.
But they know they don’t identify with any gender and are gender less but do not mind being called “he”
So in simple terms they use They/He pronouns
As for sexuality, they like someone romantically once in a blue moon, and even then they arent very expressive about it. They knows from his like maybe 3 crushes in their life, they like whatever and whoever as long as they fit his type (No clue what his type is!! Probably;y more masculine people low key. Men kisser.)
Appearance
They look like this to me 😍
Gorgeous ain’t he?
Relationships
Bullet points for here bc im getting lazy
-Handler
they’re bestie baes! Honestly best buds! They’d kill for each other !
-John Juniper
homosexual.
-Fabricator
any conversation between them would be full of “KYS” “NO YOU KYS!!”
-Dr.Prism
enemies to besties basically
-Dr Zor
violent and evil dynamic happening here. Nothing but hatred between these two.
I care not for thinking about anymore or any other characters!
OK TY FOR READING THIS IF YOU READ IT ALL SORRY THE IEYTD BRAINROT IS REAL LOVE YOU
#agent phoenix ieytd#ieytd#art#ieytd fanart#ieytd 3#ieytd2#i expect you to die#ieytd fandom#ieytd hc#headcanon#send help#im normal about this
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i think a lot of visual horror media wants to be all ~cool~ and ~different~ and it like ends up being not fun? its almost (to me at least and this is probably gonna sound harsh) pretentious like oh look at me im elevated horror or whatever the fuck. ive also had that experience tho recently where im just like hey this is cool and all but i can't see myself watching a ton. or they hit a lot of the same notes. trying too hard to be inspired and just ends up a mush
yeah i kinda get what you mean. i do think more Artsy Horror and 'Elevated Horror' can be really cool and have artistic value and have good ideas and concepts and it can use it's unconventionality to communicate an idea or theme (ex. Skinamarink) but in exchange for artsiness, it sacrifices watchability and becomes incredibly insufferably actually genuinely painfully boring to watch (ex. Skinamarink) basically every single time without fail
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