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zeherili-ankhein · 2 days ago
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Tell me the the thakumar jhuli storie please🥰
OKK SOOO TIME FOR MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE TALE EVERRRRR
This is my favourite favourite story of all time and i was so upset not many people know this 😭 there's an animated version too by ssoftoons but it doesn't do any justice to the story... So here's me rambling it out
Also tagging y'all @randomx123 @jeahreading @krishna-priyatama @foreignink @ishaaron-ishaaron-me @igotadigbickandureadthatwrong @dwarpharini @priestessofuniverse @no-idea-where-i-am-lost @desigurlie @shubhadeep385 @stxrrynxghts @no-idea-where-i-am-lost cuz the story is soo crazy and so dear to me I wanted to share it lol
Trigger warning: bitchass people, killing those bitchass people, traumatic childhood, raw meat, arrange marriage, breast milk, lowkey mention of sh accusations, long hair, and a lot of questionable stuff... And cannibalism... If that counts... 💀 And lots of swearing
So in the starting of the story, we are introduced to this really lazy brahmin. He's so lazy him and his wife are in poverty 💀 (like I can feel you sir I am lazy too!! but get some money dude) he does begging and goes with his day with the money he gets 💀
One day brahmani get's to know that the neighbouring kingdom's prince is getting married and the king is gonna arrange a feast for all the brahmins and everyone who'll attend, and gift them money and stuff.
So brahmani tells her lazyass husband to go attend the wedding and get the gold ✨✨ but dude is so lazy he's literally like laying on the floor whinning about not wanting to do any work.
Brahmin: im too lazy we are well with the money we have no?
Brahmani: go or I'll kill myself 🗿
Brahmin: ..... 💀🤌
But bou boleche so he needs to get going... 🗿🤌
........
So now while he's going he's literally so lazy and introverted he doesn't even know the way to that kingdom and didn't ask anyone 💀 and so now he's lost in the forest doing Dora the explorer shit
Then he's roaming in the forest and notices a Korir pahar (ig this was the time period when they used shells as currency...) so he's like “wtf?? there's literally so much money and nobody noticed??” but he continues to go on.. (dude is so unbothered bruhh)
Then he notices adhulir pahar.. (idk what that is but must be some kinda currency) then takar pahar and dude skips each of them like unwanted youtube adds 💀🤌
At the end he notices a gold coin mountain (mohorer pahar 🏔️) 🗿 and brahmin is like o.O seeing all that, then he notices that there's a big palace at the foot of that mountain (red alarm bro get out of there asap)
......
Then he notices a beautiful woman standing at the door of the palace motioning him to go near her. (Ig my guy doesn't know the rule to NEVER trusts sundari aurat at the middle of nowhere... Especially the one's that's calling ya to get close... 💀)
So he's now confused but get's to the door anyways... And asks her “who tf are you and why are you here???”
Sundari: you don't remember me? :(
Brahmin: ....no..
Sundari: how will you remember me... It was so long before, when you were kids..
Sundari: that we got married in this palace, it was so beautiful...
Sundari: now come inside and take some rest
Brahmin: GURL WHA-
He legit wonders when tf did that happen and why he remembers nothing, but thinks maybe they DID get married as kids because Kulin Brahmins used to get married more than once... (Now this is where I got to know this information lol)
Tho he warns her that he can't remember shit.. and she just laughs it of by saying he doesn't need to work his brain so much and can just rest without worries 💀
.....
The palace is BIG and is as usual filled with riches and golds and silvers and gemstones, BUT sundari stays alone in that place. And if the Brahmin wanted to know why, she just said a sad story and went with it... 💀
NOW here's a big plot revealed. The sundari is actually a rakkhushi who killed all the citizens of that kingdom and everyone in the palace and, just took over the place turning it into a forest 💀 (that's why you don't trust strangers brahmin bro...)
.......
So now Brahmin is legit staying in that palace with her 💀🤌 (ig they did the deed too.. lol) and he kind of forgot about his wife at home... (Bruhhh)
Sundari tells him to bring his wife to that palace so that they all can live together happily. Saying it's not her fault he mistakenly married her... 🤡 (The audacity bro the audacity!!!)
But brahmin is intelligent 🗿 he knows if he keeps both wives together they are gonna fight. And says “nahh she can stay at the city, I'll go visit her once in a while”
But sundari forces him to go get her saying they won't fight or be jealous and she'd stay nicely with her. So brahmin agrees to go get wifey...
.....
Now this side brahmani is like worried sick because dude is missing for SO long, and all the other brahmins that had went to the wedding had returned and they all said he wasn't with them at the wedding so she's like “more gache re amar bor 💀” and she's like on the verge of calling herself a bidhoba when dude returns.
That also in expensive clothes and with riches and clothes for her. So she's like happy that her husband is back and cries happily.
Brahmin tells her about everything that happened and she's like “bruhhh you literally returned back from a rakkhushi and you wanna go back? Don't be a dumbass” and he says “bu-but she's pretty 🥺 so she can't be a rakkhoshi 🗿” (aurat ka chakkar hai babu bhaiya....)
Brahmani gets convinced that yeah that might be cuz why tf it won't be. 💀 So they leave for that random ass palace in the middle of nowhere.
........
They take their gorib manush stuff (it's a joke im not making fun of anyone's econimic status 💀👍) and set to go settle in that palace.
When they reach the palace, that Sundari was already at the gate waiting for them with a big smile. And as soon as they entered she hugged brahmani like “yooo sautan how have ya been” 💀
She legit goes “we're sisters now don't worry about me being jealous hehe” (that's a red flag that's a BIG RED FLAG!!!”
.......
So anyways they stay there well and good, and years go by and now brahmin has two kids 🗿 One with the sundari/rakshashi — Shohosrodol (see see they did the hulalala) and one with brahmani — Chompokdol
✨AND THESE TWO ARE THE HEROES OF THE STORYYY✨
Well not for me I only consider Chompok my hero (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)
But whatever back to plot....
.......
Shohosro and Chompok are like besties for life, two peas in a pod, two body one soul kinda close. They literally can't leave without eachother. 🗿✨
And they go to these neighbourhood kingdom school on their POKKHIRAJ GHORA BRO THEY POKKHIRAJ GHORA!!!! And study and play around and everything, they look good (Chompok looks better idc) and everything typical rupkothar golpo hero has.
Now amidst everything, while living with the humans around her, rakkhushi bbg kinda forgot the taste of raw meat and just became like a normal married mohila living with her family 🤡
But one day finally our lazy lad brahmin finally decides he's getting too useless doing nothing “khub beshi boshe boshe shorir e jong lege jachhe shikar korte jabo” 🗿💀
So whatever he goes hunting and brings back animals and stuff like rabbits or deer or swans. And the kiddos literally jump with joy each time he brings in a deer (and from here I got to know back then deer meat was a delicacy for bengalis)
And NOW NOW NOW, seeing so much raw uncooked meat in front of her our pookie cookie rakkhushi is like “DAMN BRO I NEED MEAT IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I ATE RAW MEAT” but for obvious reasons she can't tell that to anyone
So she decides she'd just regularly sneak into the kitchen take some chunk of the meat from the dead animal before it's cooked and DEVOUR it. 💀🗿
.......
Now one day brahmani notices that meat is going missing and one day decides she'd hide in the kitchen and see what's the matter.
She waits and watch as rakkhoshi comes and pulls the meat out from the window and eats it. And get's scared cuz wtf they are ACTUALLY living with a rakkhoshi.
She doesn't says anything but the next day she's like
Brahmani: didi do you know meat is going missing nowadays...?
Rakkhoshi: ....is it?
Brahmani: yeah you know why?
Rakkhoshi: how would ik
Brahmani: ik who you are stop pretending
Rakkhoshi: yeah whatever im gonna eat you and your husband now, be prepared you two would be in my stomach by tomorrow noon, then your son too
💀 So yeah... girlie went and confronted her like a dumbass in place of running away in secret 💀🤌
.....
Now brahmani is worried that even if she dies she doesn't want her son to die (mom cares) she stays awake the entire night wondering what to do. Then at dawn she wakes up Chompok urging him not return from school that day, telling him about the rakkhoshi and everything.
She gives him a small container with her breast milk in it. And tells him, if the milk turns a little red then to know Chompok's parents are in danger, a little more red and his dad is dead, completely blood red then his mom is also dead. 💀
Even tho Chompok didn't understood it completely he still agreed to do as asked amd goes to school with Shohosro on their POKKHIRAJ GHORA
.......
But on their way he kept looking anxious and continuously checked the container so Shohosro got worried and asked what was wrong but pookie kept denying and just said everything was fine even when th milk turned a little red.
But at one point he checked and it was completely red, because on that side while the Brahmin was bathing in a pond, the rakkhoshi killed and ate him then ate the brahmani. 💀
So now after seeing the red af milk, Chompok falls down from his pokkhiraj ghora while he was busy crying and trying to run away from Shohosro.
Worried Shohosro ran behind him, landing just next to Chompok taking his head in his lap asking what's wrong as he rambles and cries to him, telling him, that his rakkhoshi maa killed his parents. Now Shohosro is like 💀 cuz he's hearing it for the first time that his mother is a rakkhoshi.
Now rakkhoshi darling comes running in her real form yelling at them for Shohosro to step aside as that's her son so she'll not do him any harm and she would just eat Chompok.
BUT our hero Shohosro is like “fuck you woman that's my brother you are talking about I ain't moving aside I'm fighting you” 🗿🗿 (we'll he's a pookie cookie) and yeah... He killed his momma using his sword (slayyyyyyy like literally)
........
Now both Shohosro and Chompok are wondering in a new place thinking what to do with their life now because it's getting late
They come accross a home and decides to ask them to let them stay there for the night and goes to sleep as soon as they hit the bed.
When they wake up later, they hear some commotion happening in the front of the house, as the members of the family are arguing about something.
They are like “na na ami buro hoye gechi ami jabo” “na na ami shobar chhoto ami jabo ami gele karor jaye ashbe na” 💀🤌
So both the brothers are like tf is going on and they go ask the head of the family that what's the matter
Buro lok: so one day a random ass rakkhosh came from nowhere and terrorized us killed people here and there
Buro lok: so our king decided that we will offer one human to him every night so that he doesn't kill anyone
Buro lok: so now each night one person from a family goes and wait at that old Shib mondir at the end
Buro lok: untill the rakkhosh comes at the third hour of the night to eat them
Buro lok: and today it's our family's turn, so we are deciding who'd go.
Then Shohosro and Chompok are like
The bros: yeah we will go
Buro lok: but tomra amader otithi you can't go
The bros: you guys let us stay so now we are family we will go
Buro lok: .....ok 😔
These two bitches really argue like some pro debater to go to the death game that's about to happen 💀
.....
Now at the Shib mondir, Chompok is like “ykw im too sleepy you stay awake and I'll go take a mosher moto ghum” 💀 So Shohosro is like “ok little bro as you wish :3” and he stays awake.
In some time the rakkhosh comes banging at the door
Rakkhosh dude: bhetore ke re?
Shohosro: ami Shohosrodol sathe bhai Chompokdol ar duto pokkhoraj ghora 🗿
Rakkhosh dude in his mind: damn that's kid got rakkhosh blood in him can't eat him, I'll come later.
This happens another time before Shohosro wakes up Chompok cause he was feeling sleepy now, so he tells Chompok what to tell when the Rakkhosh comes, telling him to say that word by word before he nake tel diye ghumiye pore. 💀
......
Time comes and the rakkhosh comes too, and asks the same question but Chompok in a panic says “ami Chompokdol sathe Shohosrodol ar pokkhiraj ghora” and as soon as he said that rakkhosh is like yessss food and tries to break the door.
Shohosro wakes up with a startle hearing all the noice and as soon as the rakkhosh breaks the door, he kills him using his sword 🗿🗿 (boi is a warrior)
So now they are like okay yeah the rakkhosh is dead? and his giant head is laying on the floor? Who cares we are gonna give a moron ghum rn...
Next day people see the big ass rakkhosh's body and the news go to the king, who at first doesn't believe that someone killed the rakkhosh but later decides to go see for himself.
He comes and sees the body and is like shocked pikachu face, and opens the door to get inside seeing the head just randomly laying just like that. Then he notices as Shohosro and Chompok wakes up fron their beauty sleep and asks who killed that bitch.
They are like “Shohosro killed him 🗿” and king is like “thats it I had planned whomever would kill the rakkhosh, I'll get him married to my daughter so now Shohosro is my jamai 🗿”
.....
So anyways they get married and rajamoshai plans to give away half of his kingdom to Shohosro, so ofcourse they starts to stay at the kingdom. (ghor jamai my dear)
BUT the queen of that kingdom has a favourite dashi who's also secretly a rakkhoshi 💀 but nobody knows that. She goes out of the palace each night to eat, somedays picking up goru or chagol or somedays a randomass manush just like that. And nobody found out who's doing that bruhhh 💀💀
So Chompok, who usually sleeps late at night (just like mehhh) starts to notice the odd behaviour of that rakkhoshi dashi 🗿(btw the king built him his own palace to stay 🗿) but now dashi is alert cuz dude is literally a threat to her identity 💀.
So what she does? Complains to the queen that Chompok can't stand her and is threatening to kill her and everything (this didn't sit well with me, I feel like this perticular part had something... I feel like she was lowkey accusing Chompok of harrasment 💀🤌 cuz the words were like that)
......
Maharani ofcourse believed her favourite dashi over a randomass stranger boy (well not completely since he's her son-in-law's brother but still) and decided she'd go tell moharaj to throw out Chompok 💀 (sed life)
BUT our man our savior Shohosro heard her and he was like💀😰 what did my brother do to get this treatment I gotta save him...
So he wrote a letter saying “my dear brather I love you forever but you gotta get out of this kingdom... leave by tonight and don't come back” and send it to Chompok's place in secret (like bkl atleast have the decency to go tell him yourself 💀🤌)
So anyways... Chompok receives the letter and after reading it my pookie is getting all the bad thoughts he's like “kya itna bura hu main ma..? 😞 why my dada don't wanna see my face ever again what did I do wrong now where do I go 🥺”
But he still leaves the kingdom that night cuz dada boleche 🗿
.......
Chompok goes around like some dishahara prani in the forest and comes across a BIG palace in the middle of nowhere (why are all the palaces in some weirdass places??)
And what does he decides?
Ignore the palace and goes by with his day? ❌
Gets inside the palace because curiosity kills the cat? ✅
(And they say kids are not like parents 💀 baap pe gaya hai)
.....
Inside the palace my baby finds NO ONE legit no one 💀 (red alert bro should leave the place...) But then he reaches a room and goes inside just to discover a gorgeous maiden sleeping on the bed :3 (she's my sleeping beauty ok idc about anything else)
And he's like o.O ummmm wtf because obviously situation is so wild why tf is a randomass mohila sleeping in a sunsan palace in the middle of a forest.
So he stands there like 🧍for quite some time not knowing what to do and tries to wake the cutie up. But when he sees that she ain't waking up like that he finally notices the golden and silver sticks on both sides of her head (sonar kathi rupor kathi bro!!!! I've always known them from here)
The golden one on her right side and the silver one on her left side, and mr big brain is like “hmm ykw? Let's see what happens when touch her with both the sticks... and bro was right 💀 she woke up as soon as the golden stick touched her 💀🤌 (he tried the silver one at first too, but didn't work)
.......
As soon as the maiden woke up and saw an handsome young man standing near her head, she's like
Babygirl: who are you? Why are you here? Go away asap or they'll kill you...
Chompok: first of all lady calm down and tell me who are YOU? And who are THEY?
Babygirl: ...
Babygirl: I- I am the princess of this place, one day somewhat a thousand rakkhosh came and killed all my family and people and ate them :'(
Babygirl: they were gonna kill me too but the mom rakkhoshi said she kinda kinda likes me cuz she said I was too pretty to die, so to not kill me... (Well isn't that questionable? 💀)
Babygirl: so now I'm held captive over here and they make me fall asleep using those sticks and go to hunt and eat humans all day
Babygirl: and then they come back at the evening and wake me up and leave again the next morning.... :(
Babygirl: so now get out of here before they come and kill you too :'(
Chompok: gurl where am I supposed to go? I have nowhere to go... :'(
.......
So Chompok rattles out his entire history of being born in a weirdass family to parents dying to being told to get out of the kingdom and everything.
Babygirl: damn your story is honestly really sad... And now I see you really have nowhere to go
Babygirl: but those bitchass rakkhosh are about to arrive so ig you can go hide on the bel gach... They fear that tree for some reasons...
Babygirl: but make me fall asleep using that silver stick before you go
After doing as she asked and making her fall asleep Chompok goes and climbs the tree waiting untill he hears a bunch of rumbling dound coming from nowhere.
.......
[ Now why I haven't revealed pookie rajkonna's name yet? Idk bro the story revealed it quite late.. so ig im also waiting to give that suspense...]
Back to plot
Chompok waits and watch as all the rakkhosh come from every angles filling the palace. Then the maa rakkhosh steps in the front, waking up princess the same way he had done.
Then..
Maa rakkhosh: hmmm why do I smell human.... 🤨 Was anyone here???
Princess: ....I am a human silly (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)
Maa rakkhoshi: ohh right I forgot whatever 💀
Then normal stuff happens the rakkhosh(s) all whin about wanting to eat the rajkonna but maa rakkhoshi tells them not to and then she gives rajkonna some normal human food (idk where she got that tho) And makes her do some seba 💀 and goes to sleep 🗿 (like gurlie probably stayed awake the entire night just like that)
......
Next day after those bitchass people are gone Chompok climbs down the tree and comes to wake her up and then they do normal human shit like eating and all ig...? (Idk where they are getting the food tho, ig Chompok can cook?)
And then they apparently talk and do more normal human stuff
Idk what these bitches are “talking” about... So I just kinda assumed they are having some Aurora x Philip ahh conversations throughout.... Roaming around the garden and shit who knows...
Then again by the evening he enchants her to sleep and goes to his hiding place on the tree 💀🤌
And the same shit happens like the day before. Rakkhosh gang comes does halla, buri rakkhoshi makes rajkonna do some slavery while the other rakkhosh(s) try to threaten her and eat her, they get scolded and again they fall asleep.
.......
This goes on for some days before Chompok is like
Chompok: girl how long are we gonna do this hide and seek from the rakkhosh gang? Donchu wanna be free???
Rajkonna: I do but it what am I supposed to do
Rajkonna: 😭😭🤌
Chompok: .....
Chompok: do one thing...
Chompok: pamper the old hag today and manipulate her to tell you how the rakkhosh party can die
Rajkonna: ok (⁠.❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)
......
So that night when the bitch ass gang returns she does some extra seba and when the time comes fakes some tears (i can fake tears too 🗿)
Rajkonna: what will I do when you die? 🥺
Rajkonna: your kids are gonna kill and eat me 🥺😭💀
Rakkhoshi: ....
Rakkhoshi: lol girl rakkhosh people don't die like that we keep our pran bhomra somewhere seperate
Rajkonna: then where's it?? What if someone finds it???
Rakkhoshi: no one can find it 😌 (lmao wait you fucker just wait)
Rakkhoshi: see the pond right there? Yeah in the bottom if it there's a snail
Rakkhoshi: on that snail there are two beetles on top of it
Rakkhoshi: if someone is able to dive into the pond and bring out those in one breath and then kill those beetles then only we will die
Rakkhoshi: BUT not even a drop of blood should fall on the ground tho or a thousand more of us will get born
Rakkhoshi: but you don't worry no one can do that (overconfident much burima??)
Rajkonna: ok 。⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠。
And then they go back to sleep
......
Next day pookie cookie tells everything to Chompok and he's like “ok yeah go get a jar of ashes and I'll do what I need to do”
Bro dives in the pond brings out the beetles and then they hear a bunch of rumbling all over the forest and if those rakkhosh gang are running back to the palace.
Chompok tells her to spread the ashes on the ground so that the blood drops will fall on it and then he cuts the beetles in half bringing an end to all the noices and the rakkhosh gang.
And then overjoyed and glad the rajkonna is like
Rajkonna: MY SAVIOUR MY HERO! YOU SAVED MY LIFE!!! PLEASE MARRY ME LET'S GET MARRIED 🥹🥹
Chompok: umm... 👉👈 ok 😳🗿
(And that's how you get a girl people, now go kill some rakkhosh to impress her 🗿 jk jk lol)
So they do the Gandharva vivah just by doing mala bodol (that's how it was said there and it got me curious to do research and then I got to know about the different types of vivah in hindu scriptures)
.....
So everything is going fine they starts to stay in the palace all happy and newly married pookie cookie meow meow honeymoon phase etc etc (they are my blorbos my otp my lifeline whatever you say I love these two so much 🥹🤌)
But NOOOOOW coming to reveal the rajkonna's name.... She got really LONG hair and that's why they call her Keshoboti (idk if she has a birth name or anything lol)
One day darling Keshoboti was bathing at the ghat and a strand of her hair fell (girlie is experiencing hairfall for the first time smh smh) and she becomes sad... ): (ask us woman I experience hairfall on a regular basis)
So she ties that hair to a lotus and floats it in the river 💀👹
And guess where that bitchass hair floats to? TO THE GHAT WHERE SHOHOSRO BATHS 💀💀💀 (you thought you saw the last of him? well you were so wrong)
....
Shohosro while bathing notices that a randomass lotus floating weirdly and picks it up and then bro is like o.O because the hair attached to it is three hand long, and he's like “WHO IS THE NARI THAT GOT THIS LONG HAIR OMFG!?!?!”
Bro comes back but gradually becomes depressed and kinda obsessed wanting to know who that sundari is. And neglects going to court and eating and everything.
So now that bitchass sasuri maa is worried because her son-in-law is always locked in his room and doing nothing and falana dhimkana.
And she asks him and he is obviously embarrassed and doesn't want to tell his sasuri that he's obsessing over another unknown woman 💀🤌 (you nasty shit, this is the moment I started to hate on Shohosro because wtf bro) but tells her everything when she pressurized him.
So now that extra bitchass favourite rakkhoshi dasi is like moharani ik what's the solution just gimme a bunch of sweets and a boat and I'll to the trick.
Moharani blindly trusts her favourite maid (that's lowkey kinda gay ngl...) gives her the things she asked for.
.....
Now that rakkhoshi maid, takes the boat and does some blah blah montro jap and tells the boat to land at the ghat that sundari kanya baths 💀
And the boat does exactly that.
Once on the ghat, she calls for Keshoboti saying
Rakkhoshi: yo girl you remember me I'm your pishima
Keshoboti: ummmm...
Rakkhoshi: you have grown so much damn last I saw you, you were a baby (this single sentence was the scariest part of the entire tale fuck)
And my lovable dumb blorbo of a girl Keshoboti just believes her thinking maybe she doesn't remember anything cuz yeah she was a baby (why doesn't anyone got trust issues in this story??? 😭😭)
And that S.O.B Chompok also doesn't question anything like bruhhh
......
So now Chompok had a habbit of sleeping in the afternoon (bhat ghum supremacy Chompok knows that 🗿) but ig Keshoboti got insomania atp after deliberately being forced to sleep for so long... So she stays awake.
And on one of those days, the fake pishima is like “babygirl come to the boat with me I got some sweets for you, no need to tell your husband anything we'll be back before he even wakes up”
And that dumbass girl again trusts her and goes with her like bruhhhh 💀💀🤌
Once they are on the boat the fake pishima again does some montro jap and tells the boat to reach Shohosro's ghat.
.....
NOW the fucker is finally like “tf tf tf im being kidnapped omg omg hubby help!!!” and cries but it's too late lol 💀
So once back at Shohosro's place, the moharani is like “tell us who are you we won't harm you we just think you're very pretty so we'll keep you with us now” (MA'AM THAT'S CALLED KIDNAPPING)
But my dumbass of a girl is too busy crying and just rambles something about having a vrat for six months in which she can't speak about herself to anyone. So they just kinda keep her in a room, finding for a brahmin who can say the broto kotha for her 💀💀💀
.....
And back to my blorbo, Chompok is in shambles (chhan se jo tute koi sapna playing in the background). After he woke up and couldn't find Keshoboti anywhere 💀🤌
He's literally crying and searching for her like a madman for months atp. Bro even looks like a rastar pagol with stress and lack of haircut 💀 (again im not shaming anyone for their looks don't come at me)
.....
So in those months everybody tried to get words out of Keshoboti but FAILED because she was adamant on her demand for teh broto kotha.
So now as the six months are coming to an end, Keshoboti is getting worried what to do.
And Chompok in those months had reached that kingdom, looking like a mad dude. He hears some advertisement for a brahmin who can say Keshoboti's brotho kotha and he's like “wait...a min...” 💀
Then he basically sneaks to where Keshoboti is forced to stay and then they have an emotional reunion before he tells her he'd be back the next day with a plan and Keshoboti is again like “ok hubby (⁠.❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)”
.....
So next day the stage is set, someone is finally found who said they are gonna tell the broto kotha, and everyone is waiting with anticipation as Keshoboti comes and takes her sit, telling the dude to start his bok bok.
And then Chompok starts to say and BOIH DOES HE SAYS
Chompok: *ranting out his own life story* am I saying it right princess??
Keshoboti: perfectly correct! please continue
Chompok: *life story life story* is it correct so far princess?? (That's some odd flirting bro but im impressed)
Keshoboti: yes yes absolutely please continue
Shohosro: ....wait... excuse moi... OMFG THAT'S MY FOOKING BROTHA WTF WTF WTF
everyone else most probably: 🧍
.....
So yeah Shohosro finally realises that the brahmin in disguise is his chhoto bhai and gets too much ashamed because he had fucking held his brother's wife hostage for so long 💀💀 (good for you bitch cuz I already hate you)
Then everyone ask Chompok why he randomly disappeared from the kingdom and Chompok rats out the truth that moharani's girltoy (opposite of boytoy shut up) is a rakkhoshi.
And then rakkhoshi is like “ughh damn I'm exposed but whatever im gonna kill and eat everyone now” and starts to run towards Chompok
Then our local rakkhosh killer Shohosro pulls out his sword (no you dirty minded people not that go fuck) and SLAYYYYS the rakkhoshi.
And then everyone lives happily ever after ig...
Unless this bitches get their asses in trouble again 💀🗿🤌
.......
So... That's it. Amar kotha ti furalo note gach ti muralo...
Lemme know how you liked my all time favorite story hehe...
This story is really dear to me and I really really enjoyed doing this commentary explanation of the story too! :D
Also I think I should be banned from ever using the terms bitchass, randomass and weirdass lol...
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thatwildwolfart · 2 months ago
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this life in the stars is all i've ever known
stars and stardust and infinite space is my only home
Happy N7◢ Day
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luck-of-the-drawings · 7 months ago
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POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw gore#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#jrwi gabriel#jrwi gabriel montez#LOOK FAMILIAR?hahahahahDONT WORRY#IM REUPLOADING THIS HERE BC i fixed up the drawing a lil. and also i wanted to add main tags#U WONT SEE ANY DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THISSUN N THE POST ON MY SIDEBLOG.i changed the image there too.HA!!!!!!!#ANYWAY.i rambled plenty about pain and gabe on my sideblog.SO LETS TALK ABT THE ART SHALL WE.ihad i very hard time getting the colors down#would u believe i nearly left this uncolored??FUCKED UP!! it was only a sketchhow did it end up like this. it was only a sketch...#BUT IM RLY GLAD I WENT W COLORING IT.this time i actually used the airbrush n pencil tools BUT i also have a handy dandy brush i made#its just the mspaint air brush tool. fucking LOVE THAT THING. but now its in fire alpaca and it can be slightly transparent.IT LOOKS SOGOOD#perfect for splatters and grime.i love you mspaint i love youuu.im also so happy w the blood here.i think i reached a shift last year#back when i made that genloss fanart something abt the way i draw blood finally CLICKED and im like OH. the inside must always be darker.#like i KNEW that already but it was like my hand itself finally had it click.i wonder what i will learn next?I LIKE THE ORGANS HERE TOO#not as veiny or thready as i usually draw em. but i think thats fine. not as WET as id like em to be but thats also fine.#i got the point across. the point ofc being WOW THIS IS GRUESOME AND PAINFUL AND TERRIBLE#I LOVE HIS EXPRESSION.i love pain and thinking abt pain. you lose yourself to it after enough time passes of just being in an ocean o agony#at one point its just too tiresome to scream or writhe. theres a point when the body accepts it.sometimes.atleast.#OHHH GABRIEL AS A CHARACTER DELIGHTS ME SO MUCH.he is a dog to me.a thing to serve others.I WISH I KNEW MORE#WHAT ELSE DID YOU WANT BOY?? SURE POWER AND SECURITY AND SAFETY ARE NICE.BUT DID YOU HAVE DREAMS? WANTS? PASSIONS?#WHAT WAS THE STORY BEHIND THAT TIGER TATTOO ON YOUR ARM?WHAT DO THE DOGTAGS SAY BOY?I WISH I COULD HAVE TEA W U#OHHH TO SIT DOWN WITH A CHARACTER AND JUST SPEAK TO THEM. AND YET. AND YET IN THE END ITS ALL TRAGEDY AND COMEDY#TRAGEDY AND COMEDY THAT IS SO SO PAINFULLY UNBALANCED. SIGH.#WHATEVER CMERE BOY YOURE BECOMING AN OC OF MINE NOW UR GONNA BE IN SPACE AND UR NAME IS GONNA BE VINEGAR#UR STILL GONNA BE SHIP OF THESEUSED THOUGH. OOOHHH GABRIEEELLL GABRIEL MONTEEEZZZ#HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE BUILT INTO YOU.HOW MANY DID YOU LOVE AND CHERISH.HOW MANY TATTOOS DO U RECOGNIZE ON UR NEW ARMS#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? ON THE NIGHT U WERE SIRED?WERE YOU EXCITED? DID YOU SEE YOUR BOSS' FACE?WHAT WAS THIS PROMOTION LIKE?
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oddogoblino · 2 months ago
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Everyone always seems more willing to talk and exist when I'm not around. The sleep deprivation makes me want to believe this means I'm a smothering presence rather than considering maybe everyone just finally had more free time. If the bad thoughts are right though, I guess I have no qualms against disappearing since youtube exists for entertainment.
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size-two-shrimp · 8 months ago
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Being involved in anything V2 related makes the "hey girl i mean they" meme hover behind me like a malevolent spirit.
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coridallasmultipass · 11 months ago
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If it's okay for me to add something related because I first saw this on Tumblr: In the mid-2010s, I heard about there being a gay Filipino deity romance (from one culture in the Philippines - there are many different cultures and beliefs) here on Tumblr. It wasn't until years later when researching Philippine deities for fun while trying to broadly connect with my culture that I found a deep dive where someone found that the Bulan and Sidapa love story originated from the same fictional blog source, and had been circulating from new sources and fan art claiming it was historical for years before the author tried to find a non-modern historical source for the rumour, creating a kind of Berenstain/Berenstein effect on the people he asked, claiming they'd heard about the love story from a forgotten source much earlier than the 2010s, but unable to give a specific name, or the source cited claimed they didn't actually know about the romance.
While I think in this instance, a shift in narrative is obviously okay when you consider it is still a living Filipino culture, and people from that clearly find identity with this modern take (which should be asked of people from the cultures directly affected by misinfo), it should also be important not to rewrite it as 'historical fact' particularly when it has a fictional modern source that someone can directly point to as the origin when they question and search down the telephone line (like the game).
(I use the word 'fictional' only in reference to the originating blog, because the blog was unable or unwilling to provide any sources that mentioned that relationship to the deep dive author. I'm not implying said gods can't be/aren't gay. I'm not from that specific Philippine culture, and I don't have enough background knowledge to make any claims of my own. There's also no like, singular religious text/'bible' that pre-Hispanic Philippine beliefs followed as a rule/that can be consulted about this - it's not like a translation debate. There's just no textual source pre-dating the blog making the claim of the romance, and historians/oral historians aren't making the claim either.)
I get variations on this comment on my post about history misinformation all the time: "why does it matter?" Why does it matter that people believe falsehoods about history? Why does it matter if people spread history misinformation? Why does it matter if people on tumblr believe that those bronze dodecahedra were used for knitting, or that Persephone had a daughter named Mespyrian? It's not the kind of misinformation that actually hurts people, like anti-vaxx propaganda or climate change denial. It doesn't hurt anyone to believe something false about the past.
Which, one, thanks for letting me know on my post that you think my job doesn't matter and what I do is pointless, if it doesn't really matter if we know the truth or make up lies about history because lies don't hurt anyone. But two, there are lots of reasons that it matters.
It encourages us to distrust historians when they talk about other aspects of history. You might think it's harmless to believe that Pharaoh Hatshepsut was trans. It's less harmless when you're espousing that the Holocaust wasn't really about Jews because the Nazis "came for trans people first." You might think it's harmless to believe that the French royalty of Versailles pooped and urinated on the floor of the palace all the time, because they were asshole rich people anyway, who cares, we hate the rich here; it's rather less harmless when you decide that the USSR was the communist ideal and Good, Actually, and that reports of its genocidal oppression are actually lies.
It encourages anti-intellectualism in other areas of scholarship. Deciding based on your own gut that the experts don't know what they're talking about and are either too stupid to realize the truth, or maliciously hiding the truth, is how you get to anti-vaxxers and climate change denial. It is also how you come to discount housing-first solutions for homelessness or the idea that long-term sustained weight loss is both biologically unlikely and health-wise unnecessary for the majority of fat people - because they conflict with what you feel should be true. Believing what you want to be true about history, because you want to believe it, and discounting fact-based corrections because you don't want them to be true, can then bleed over into how you approach other sociological and scientific topics.
How we think about history informs how we think about the present. A lot of people want certain things to be true - this famous person from history was gay or trans, this sexist story was actually feminist in its origin - because we want proof that gay people, trans people, and women deserve to be respected, and this gives evidence to prove we once were and deserve to be. But let me tell you a different story: on Thanksgiving of 2016, I was at a family friend's house and listening to their drunk conservative relative rant, and he told me, confidently, that the Roman Empire fell because they instituted universal healthcare, which was proof that Obama was destroying America. Of course that's nonsense. But projecting what we think is true about the world back onto history, and then using that as recursive proof that that is how the world is... is shoddy scholarship, and gets used for topics you don't agree with just as much as the ones you do. We should not be encouraging this, because our politics should be informed by the truth and material reality, not how we wish the past proved us right.
It frequently reinforces "Good vs. Bad" dichotomies that are at best unhelpful and at worst victim-blaming. A very common thread of historical misinformation on tumblr is about the innocence or benevolence of oppressed groups, slandered by oppressors who were far worse. This very frequently has truth to it - but makes the lies hard to separate out. It often simplifies the narrative, and implies that the reason that colonialism and oppression were bad was because the victims were Good and didn't deserve it... not because colonialism and oppression are bad. You see this sometimes with radical feminist mother goddess Neolithic feminist utopia stuff, but you also see it a lot regarding Native American and African history. I have seen people earnestly argue that Aztecs did not practice human sacrifice, that that was a lie made up by the Spanish to slander them. That is not true. Human sacrifice was part of Aztec, Maya, and many Central American war/religious practices. They are significantly more complex than often presented, and came from a captive-based system of warfare that significantly reduced the number of people who got killed in war compared to European styles of war that primarily killed people on the battlefield rather than taking them captive for sacrifice... but the human sacrifice was real and did happen. This can often come off with the implications of a 'noble savage' or an 'innocent victim' that implies that the bad things the Spanish conquistadors did were bad because the victims were innocent or good. This is a very easy trap to fall into; if the victims were good, they didn't deserve it. Right? This logic is dangerous when you are presented with a person or group who did something bad... you're caught in a bind. Did they deserve their injustice or oppression because they did something bad? This kind of logic drives a lot of transphobia, homophobia, racism, and defenses of Kyle Rittenhouse today. The answer to a colonialist logic of "The Aztecs deserved to be conquered because they did human sacrifice and that's bad" is not "The Aztecs didn't do human sacrifice actually, that's just Spanish propaganda" (which is a lie) it should be "We Americans do human sacrifice all the god damn time with our forever wars in the Middle East, we just don't call it that. We use bullets and bombs rather than obsidian knives but we kill way, way more people in the name of our country. What does that make us? Maybe genocide is not okay regardless of if you think the people are weird and scary." It becomes hard to square your ethics of the Innocent Victim and Lying Perpetrator when you see real, complicated, individual-level and group-level interactions, where no group is made up of members who are all completely pure and good, and they don't deserve to be oppressed anyway.
It makes you an unwitting tool of the oppressor. The favorite, favorite allegation transphobes level at trans people, and conservatives at queer people, is that we're lying to push the Gay Agenda. We're liars or deluded fools. If you say something about queer or trans history that's easy to debunk as false, you have permanently hurt your credibility - and the cause of queer history. It makes you easy to write off as a liar or a deluded fool who needs misinformation to make your case. If you say Louisa May Alcott was trans, that's easy to counter with "there is literally no evidence of that, and lots of evidence that she was fine being a woman," and instantly tanks your credibility going forward, so when you then say James Barry was trans and push back against a novel or biopic that treats James Barry as a woman, you get "you don't know what you're talking about, didn't you say Louisa May Alcott was trans too?" TERFs love to call trans people liars - do not hand them ammunition, not even a single bullet. Make sure you can back up what you say with facts and evidence. This is true of homophobes, of racists, of sexists. Be confident of your facts, and have facts to give to the hopeful and questioning learners who you are relating this story to, or the bigots who you are telling off, because misinformation can only hurt you and your cause.
It makes the queer, female, POC, or other marginalized listeners hurt, sad, and betrayed when something they thought was a reflection of their own experiences turns out not to be real. This is a good response to a performance art piece purporting to tell a real story of gay WWI soldiers, until the author revealed it as fiction. Why would you want to set yourself up for disappointment like that? Why would you want to risk inflicting that disappointment and betrayal on anyone else?
It makes it harder to learn the actual truth.
Historical misinformation has consequences, and those consequences are best avoided - by checking your facts, citing your sources, and taking the time and effort to make sure you are actually telling the truth.
#sorry if i get something wrong im trying to refresh my memory as i write this#also just a cool fun fact theres a nonbinary tagalog deity that IS documented in historical texts#which was cool to find out back when i was looking all this up the first time and again just now#i promise im not biased for being tagalog it was just literally recommended reading on the same article#should also state that im also american in america and dont subscribe to belief in philippine deities (as a disclaimer)#but its still super cool to find out how socially accepting the philippines can be about lgbt issues compared with other asian countries#(even if they still face discrimination! obviously should go without saying but someones gonna twist my words i just know it)#(im reminded of the other spanish-us colony... the us. where i live as a native american also. whos tribe Chumash also had/has Two Spirit..#...historically documented in our culture. ill also never know if we had gay love stories b4 the spanish bc we were only oral tradition)#anyway thats a tangent on a tangent on a disclaimer on a tag on an anxiety filled addition to a post#anxiety bc im probably getting something wrong somewhere just know that i am always pro-gay everything all the time forever#i just wanted to add how this disappointed me when i found out the gay was not historical like i originally was made 2 believe#im in full support of modern gay#how mnay times am i gonna say that lmao (how many tags do i have left to be anxious in)#listen one time i got put on a blocklist next to actual transphobes whod hate me and im still anxious every time i post anything online now#(it was over something i said when i was first discovering my gender abt how sex and gender 'are' different and it wasnt worded the best)#and because i was pro-asexual inclusion in lgbt then exclus went and dug up that very obviously old post from my blog to have 'dirt' on me#i fucking hate ace exclusionists lmao dni with me about that topic its been like 8 years stale by now#anyway...#misinformation#disinformation#history#long post#i know theres some drama idk about the article author but i dont want to bring that into this so i didnt name the article#...but its on the aswang project if youre gonna look it up#i want to get books on philippine legends but i dont have the money and theyre not in my library so .. eventually ill read the more...#...scholarly sources on the subject but for now i only have whats online and that site has been a good jumping point imo#ok ive had this reblog open for hours now lemme just post and if someone who knows more can correct me go ahead just pls b nice i rly tried#im tired and i want to get back to my drawing i didnt wanna spend hours beng anxious abt this bc i randomly saw it while break scrolling
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derrypubliclibrary · 8 months ago
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#woo! im Not Having. a Good Time#im watching a show w/ my friend & its a. fine show i like it idk but its . so fucking long. & my attention span is so shit i am trying so -#- hard to watch it i swear but every add break i have to come on here &read as many it posts as i can so i dont get to insanely bored i a#- just lose it completely & break down ot smthing idfk & like. id get him back by making himeatch the clown movies but i fucking cantttt -#- because its mom wont let themmm which is fine i get it theyre rated r but like . auchhh. & im panickingn really hard & its genuinely -#- getting hard to breathe & its like . ugh. idfk.#id make him watch the old one. ut he doesnt want to which is again fine but likeeeee :(#maybe ill just say i have to go around 5 or something because its my parents date night (it is) & i have to babysit (i do) & like it makes -#- me feel kinda bad but like. i cannot fucking do it for 9 hrs thats too fucking long & i would just like. read fanfic while we watch it ora#- smthing but he wont let me causehe wantes me to wTch ut which i get i truly do but i have Been Fighting Back Tears for like an hr cause i-#- dont wanna watch the show for that fucking longggggggggggggg#also i am going to kill the tumblr tag character limit.#AND like. my parents r gonna go get lunch. after they drop ke off. & im not gonna eat there & im so hungry i should grab a snack but i cant#- because then theyd ask questions & maybe theyd make me stay home which would be good for me but id feel so fucking bad & like . AUGH.#& the show were watching has so#many scenes that are just. so fucking overstimulating like i cant watch them jts really bad & im alfuckingready overstimualted & im gonna -#-have to turn off notifs for stuff because its to the point where i wanna stab someobe everytime i grt a notification & ughhhhh#anyway !!#vent
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quitesins · 4 months ago
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Deku’s Type!
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Masterlist
Tags: 18+, Sfw-ish, short drabble, fem!reader, aged up! characters, teacher! Deku, kinda vulgar and fucky, im gonna tag misogyny, reader is said to be “fucked in the head” whatever you want that to mean ^0^!
The boys gather round for drinks and discuss the type of women Deku seems to be fond of, much to his dismay…
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“Sounds like Deku’s type,” Katsuki says, smirk in his voice.
Izuku frowns. “I do not have a type.”
Now that makes the table still for a second, not long enough for Izuku to predict the thoughts of his friends, but enough for the rest of the guys to come to the same conclusion.
Katsuki, Denki and Sero are the first to burst out in laughter. Katsuki’s cackle the loudest of them all.
“Are you fuckin’ serious?” Katsuki laughs so hard he doesn’t even care that Denki is half laid over him, “You don’t see that shit?”
“Come on…” Denki says, still slapping Katsuki’s thigh as he laughs, “you have such a type!”
Izuku frowns, sterner, deciding to ignore the immature three and turning to his other friends for support. Both Iida and Shouto look away, their expressions telling.
“I do not have a type,” Izuku reiterates, firmly.
Katsuki shakes his head, finally shoving Denki off him. “All those girls you’ve dated? Exact fuckin’ same.”
Even Tokoyami turns his head, eyes never leaving his drink but twinkling with an unfamiliar mirth.
“What does that even mean?!” Izuku exasperates, looking around for a single ally.
“It means,” Mineta chimes in, and although Izuku enjoys his company, he already knows he’s about to hear something deplorable, “you like them sick in the head!”
Shouto can’t hold in his sputter, finally contributing to the conversation— with a laugh. The rest of the table is hooting, a few groans at the wording but nothing at the sentiment. All while Izuku looks absolutely scandalised, clutching his chest, eyes wide open.
“That’s horrible!” Izuku cries, so stunned he can’t even trail off into one of his signature rambles in defence, “that’s- that’s. What?!”
“All the girls you’ve liked man…” Sero starts, “they’re not exactly little miss sunshines are they.” He stops, which Izuku almost takes reprieve in until he continues, “you seem to like them a little off putting.”
“Yeah so he can fucking fix them,” Katsuki snorts.
“It’s your saviour complex,” Denki adds, chin tilted up, trying to look profound.
Izuku is quick to interject, waving his hands around. “You’re the pro heroes.” The poor boy tries his best to convince. “We all have saviour complexes!”
“Not like you do, mon chéri,” Aoyama tuts, then winks before saying, “Hero of Japan.”
“Izuku, They do still call you an honorary pro.” Shouto is trying to be nice, Izuku thinks. “And I’m sure your students think the same.”
Izuku grimaces, he knows he’s always had a complex that encompassed so much more than just his dreams to be a hero, but he doesn’t need it sullied by… that.
“Don’t ruminate.” Katsuki presses a drink into Izuku’s hands. “You like women a little fucked up, so what.”
Katsuki’s words do nothing to comfort Izuku, instead it has Denki and Mineta laughing all over again while Kirishima attempts to calm them down. Iida scolds Katsuki a little, doing a half bow in apology to the passing waiter clearly peeved by all the noise. Deku pays no attention, beginning to spiral in his head.
It feels wrong to view the women of his past that way. To view you that way. But he’s not an idiot, maybe a little blind at times but now that the proof is there— oh god—
“Listen, Midoriya, I am sure there are many reasons you have loved the women you have.” Iida notices the growing dread upon Izuku’s face. “You also like to save people. There is nothing wrong with that.”
Tokoyami and Shouji nod in agreement, Ojiro giving his own sympathetic smile.
“Yeah bro.” Kirishima raises a fist in camaraderie, though it’s definitely out of pity. “It’s manly to take care of others!”
“Think he more than takes cares of ‘em,” Katsuki slickly adds, in an artful voice that Izuku is more than familiar with, “the fucker get off on that shit.”
This time, it’s Shouto who scolds him, Katsuki’s implications clear enough for even him to catch on. They rest of the guys begin to bicker in the background, one half in defence of Izuku’s less than innocent tastes in women, the other intent on making fun of the golden boy for once.
Though the attention is finally off him, it does not help Izuku feel any better.
Because there’s a thought that lingers… it’s a sick thought, a terrible, horrible, awfully honest thought.
Shit, he does like them a bit fucked up.
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My truth is i still don’t know how to punctuate dialogue… pleek don’t look and none of dat…
Anyways I kind of wanna elaborate on Deku’s hero complex coming out in other ways in the 8 years of studying and becoming a teacher, like someone has to deal with it…
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leclercvsx · 8 months ago
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Show off | SMAU
LANDO NORRIS
pairings: Lando x footballer!reader
summary: Lando is dating reader, who’s a football player for arsenal WFC & Lioness’ and Lando isn’t shy when it comes to reminding people that he is readers boyfriend.
warnings: storylines do not add up, i’m pretty much making them up on the spot!
face claim: Alessia Russo (loml)
note: I KNOW IM LATE BUT OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE LANDO WON HIS FIRST RACE!!!I WAS SCREAMING WHEN HE CROSSED THAT LINE😭
masterlist | requests open
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris, ellatoone, lionesses and 52,726 others
yourusername: Evenings at Wembley✨Only onwards and upwards from here🦁💕
landonorris: my girlfriend everyone, look at her go😁😁
leahwilliamson: i don’t know what she’s told you, but she’s MY girlfriend😐
ellatoone: i think you’ve both been mistaken, she’s actually my girlfriend
landonorris: i will fight both of you (virtually because i would never hit a woman🙏🏼)
yourusername: calm down girls, there’s plenty of me to go around😛
lionesses: 🦁❤️
carlossainz: Great game Y/n! Lando made sure all of us watched it
yourusername: thank you, Carlos! i’m sorry Lando put you through that😔
danielricciardo: don’t be sorry, Y/n. We loved watching you play🙏🏼
liked by yourusername
fan1: Lando forcing the grid to watch the Lioness’s games sounds so funny to me😭😭
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landonorris
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 1,263,372 others
landonorris: Celebrating my first win AND celebrating my girlfriend winning her match🙏🏼🧡
tagged: yourusername, mclaren
yourusername: IM SO PROUD OF YOU
yourusername: You deserve this!!!
yourusername: it’s also very sweet that you included my win, BUT THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU🧡🧡
landonorris: your wins are my wins and my wins are your wins❤️
oscarpiastri: that was cringe
leahwilliamson: i agree with pastry
oscarpiastri: thanks but that is NOT my name
yourusername: it is now x
carlossainz55: congrats, you deserve it💪
liked by landonorris
mclaren: here’s to many more🧡
��—
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, leahwilliamson and 52,827 others
yourusername: enjoyed the off-season with this muppet, time to get back to training💪
tagged: landonorris
landonorris: i miss you
yourusername: it’s been less than 24 hours since we last saw eachother
landonorris: i miss you
leahwilliamson: im gonna enjoy seeing you everyday and rubbing it in Lando’s face😅
landonorris: i hate you
leahwilliamson: your girlfriends about to become mine
landonorris: back🤺off🤺
yourusername: Leah, be nice👀
francisca.cgomes: gonna miss seeing you in the paddock :(
yourusername: i’m gonna miss you too😔
lilymhe: don’t worry, we’ll all be there for that world cup final😉
yourusername: hopefully we make it😅
carmenmmundt: you WILL make it, we’re manifesting it
fan1: the way the wags interact with her😭😭😭
fan2: i KNOW it’s so cute
fan3: well she is a wag too, let’s not forget
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landonorris added to their story
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yourusername replied: i love you😭😭
landonorris: i love you too❤️
fan1 replied: she’s so cute omg
lilymhe replied: she’s gonna smash the world cup
leahwilliamson replied: she went out with me before you by the way
landonorris: LEAVE ME ALONE
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris, leahwilliamson and 173,372 others
yourusername: absolutely gutted and heartbroken, but it just wasn’t meant to be. I’m so unbelievably proud and grateful to be apart of this special team. No one else i would want to be on this journey with🤍
I want to say a huge thank you to everyone that came out to support us and those of you at home who have supported us from the very start. We’ll all cherish these memories forever.
For now we’ll all rest up and recover and come back better than ever🦁🤍
alexgreenwood5: ❤️
1maryearps: ❤️❤️❤️
keirawalsh: ❤️
landonorris: you did great baby, you’ll win the next one🫶
carlossainz55: you did very well!
lilymhe: you did unbelievably well, Y/n. The next time you will win, i swear❤️
yourusername: thanks guys, sorry i disappointed you all❤️
landonorris: stop that. you didn’t disappoint anyone.
fan1: i’m sobbing
fan2: you were great, it just wasn’t meant to be :(
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landonorris added to their story
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yourusername replied: thank you for everything
landonorris: no need to thank me❤️
leahwilliamson replied: as much as i hate to admit it, i’m glad you’re taking care of her
fan1 replied: that’s so cute
danielricciardo replied: you are such a simp
landonorris: shut the fuck up
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i’m so proud of Lando’s first win. i was literally SCREAMING when he won. i didn’t wanna jinx it so i kept my cool and was just focusing on the gap between him and max but when he crossed that line me and my friend screamed and clapped😭😭
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sunsetkerr · 10 months ago
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SAMMY'S GIRL (ii) | s.kerr
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summary: MORE headcanons on your relationship with sam, read part one here.
pairing: fem!reader x sam kerr
notes: getting out lots of little headcanons because they're just so much fun to do. sammy's girl is my favourite of all my girls (completely bias, sorry) but if you want to see what other 'wags' are in my lil universes, check out my masterlists!! each 'wag' is also going to get their own tag, so check those out for little file facts, or ask questions/send thoughts so we can add to them all!! lots of love
as previously established, you’ve grown up with sam right
you’ve known her through every little phase and every weird obsession she’s ever had
you know her deepest secrets and she knows yours
its honestly quite jarring because you both know each other better than you know yourselves
you’re not at sporty as sam, only relaly dabbling in school netball for carnivals and stuff when they needed extra girls
but sam would try and include you as much as she could in all aspects of her career
if she was having a solo gym day, or just going on a walk
guess whos coming with!?!!!
its you!!!!!!
if she wants a swim at the beach for recovery
she is making sure that you tag along
(not just to see you in your bathers, its for recovery, have some professionalism please)
sam has spent half of her life without you and having to settle for seeing you through a screen
so once you’re in london with her permanently, she is making the most of that
she needs to shower? you’re passing her body wash
she’s hungry? shes making two servings and you’re eating with her
she wants a coffee? youre heading to your favourite spot
you are always around
and sam isn’t having it if you’re not
when she does have to go away?
youre getting texts from guro, erin and millie complaining about her
‘omg she wont shut up about you’
‘if sam doesn’t stop talking im gonna clock her y/n, i won’t be held responsible for my actions’
‘she’s at a new level of pathetic, please come get your girl’
but they understand, they love you too
the entirety of the chelsea squad know you’re at every game
they have a dedicated seat for you in the family and friends section
everyone is away that it’s your seat
millie’s fiancée wards people away from it
he once had to face the consequences of sitting in your seat
he wouldn’t wish an angry emma hayes or sam kerr upon anyone
but its not all about sam
she is just your biggest cheerleader
you were able to finish your degree online and were lucky enough that your credentials in australia carried over to the uk 
so you started working there
im picturing sports journalism???????? you were forced to be around sport your entire life that it kinda just became a natural thing
you were so well-informed on so many different sports it was crazy
sam loved plugging anything you were writing
you posted a new article? she’s sharing that shit on her instagram story
you won an award for a piece? she’s at the ceremony
you’re working overtime to get a project finished? she’s ordering you dinner to the office
as much as sam is a professional and very famous athlete
she’s still just sammy to you
and she’s never forgotten that
but to her, you are the best thing to ever happen to planet earth
and she makes sure that everyone knows
living with sam is lots of fun
you relish in all of the time you get to spend together
call it making up lost time
sure, she leaves her stuff everywhere
but you’re guilty of that too
you still hold each other accountable
‘sam you didn’t do the dishes’
‘okay and you didn’t hang out the laundry’
‘… fair enough’
making dinner together is just chaotic 
sam can only cook breakfast, she excels at smashed avocado
so she really lets you take the reins on dinners 
she succumbs to the sou-chef life
you force her to watch movies with you
she argues and says that tv shows are better
(even though you know she’s completely invested in whatever film you’ve chosen)
you have a little brother who just idolises sam
and he has since the day he was born
he was a classic accident child, a real surprise for your parents
but watching him grow up was just the best
hes the biggest women’s soccer fan you know
he’s up-to-date on all of the woso drama
definitely can tell you the entire timeline and drama of the mcfoord relationship 
so when he’s old enough
sam flies him over to the uk all the time
he just loves sam so much
he wears her jersey to every game, saying he doesn’t want anyone elses
(maybe maccas, but that’s a different story)
and sam is estatic to have him there
definitely walks out with him as her mascot on multiple occasions
sam isn’t super touchy feely in front of others
but when shes drunk, she can’t help it
she just wants to hold you and she doesn’t care who’s around to see it
sam really loves watching men at bars or in clubs try to hit on you
just to go and ruin their fun
it’s her favourite pastime really
sam’s extra sappy and clingy when tired
after a big night or a tiring game, she wants to curl up next to you and have you hold her until she falls asleep
sometimes it’s a foreign feeling for you
sam is almost always the big spoon
so you really drink in the feeling whenever she feels vulnerable enough to let you hold her for a change
sam is also extra attentive when you’re not feeling well
she’s so doting and always checking in on you
if shes around, you’re being waited on hand and foot
‘are you okay? do you have a temp?’
‘let me get you some water’
‘i don’t like the sound of that cough, y/n’
if she’s away for a game, your phone does not stop ringing
she’s always texting when she has a spare minute 
and if she has more than ten minutes to spare, she’s calling you to see how you are
sam just adores you
the fans adore you even more
the amount of tiktok edits of you and sam are crazy
the one of you in the stands after her goal against england in the world cup went viral
the way you jumped out of your seat and almost threw yourself over the barrier was on the news the next day
the clip continuing as sam ran over to your section, as you both shouted in celebration to each other
or the clips in the matildas doco series of the two of you
the lesbians went feral for that shit
everyone wants what you have
everyone wants you
you are that bitch
sam knows it too
and she’s not afraid to let people know just who you are
because you’re hers 
forever and always
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lokorum · 6 months ago
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what would you say is your favorite jonmichael fic..... im very curious and love to reread anything in that tag
oh but how can i pick only one when they all are so good??? (,,•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ ,,)?
aaaaaa can i make the several honorable mentions of the fics that made me scream and roll on the floor?????? pretty please???
scheherazade was one of the first jonmichael fics that i found while going through all of the cher's works because, evidently, they have no fics that are not worth reading!! (i'm sorry if and forty feet down only confirming it!!!)
sleep inertia has one of the best dialogues i ever read!!! the way cruelzy writes michael's lines??? aaaaaaaaa its so delicious and believable and never for a second i thought i'm reading something out of canon?? its just that good. 
carousel is the only one fic (from what i found) that i set in the last season and its adds a lot of layers to that big jonmichael onion that torments my eyes for a while now ldkfjgkdfjg also it's messy?? i mean the whole situation in the fic?? its so humanly complicated and it does not gives you the chance to experience any of the feelings clearly and i love it!! screechfox somehow captured all of the complicated stuff in one fic, blendered it together and for the whole time i just couldn't take my eyes away from it. 
five times michael saves jon's life and one time he doesn't have to - is here to sooth our pain and heal our wounds. i reread it so many times!! the dynamic between jon and michael in it is one to live for!!! sometimes you think 5+1 kind of fics can't surprise you anymore and then the coolest author like paisleycowboys enters the room and proves you wrong. 
to be like super honest, the 100 ways to say i love you series, when i first saw it, made me think im not gonna like it? i love my fanfics long and scary and bittersweet and with a bad-very-not-good-endings, so the title of this one made me go "hmmmmm HMMMMM hmmmmm hmmmm?" but ive started to read it anyway, theres not that many fics on the ao3 for jonmichael, we cant afford to be capricious and gosh GOSH i was so fucking wrong!!! its sweet AND sad AND scary AND awkward (in a best way!!!) AND it made me giggle so many times!!! NeedsCaffeineRightNow can make even the edgiest of us enjoy the soft kinds of fics (its not hard when they are written with so much care and love.)
POSSESSIVE!! MICHAEL!! COMBING!!! JON'S!! HAIR!!!!!! what else do we need from life?
transition, every time i reread it or think about it, makes me painfully aware of how many things should coincide for something to work. it's not one of those fics that completely encompass you; nor its the one that leaves you with new headcanons or in a good mood, no, i think it's the one that leaves you in dissoray, making you want to argue with author, to ask them what were they thinking about, pointing on your weak sides like this?, giving you something precious and then stealing it away? pushing your old bruises? that is to say, i have nothing but deep respect for indefensibleselfindulgence. to write fic that makes you want to engage in conversation? thats powerful 
Our 'Angel' of Static and Bone is written so inexplicably good, that more than once i wondered, how NeverwinterThistle was able to do it? and then i realised they are one of my fave bg3 and dishonored authors phpphp but really, the care, the effort that went into this fic? they are literally visible! you can feel the amount of time and brain juice that went into writing it. and the neighbor character? they appeared like two times?? and still their addition left me speechless with how clever it is, how different!! absolutely amazing work.
adjective noun has jonmichael chapter (11) that destroyed me as a person i swear i laughed so hard i dropped my phone and just kept giggling face-into-the-pillow style!!!!!! its rare for the fics to bring you this childish kind of pure joy; the little in-between moment of forgetting about everything, good and bad, and just have a good time. this chapter is definitely one of those rare things and it also made me wish there would be more jonmichael fics from cuttoth. somehow they nailed everything that should be nailed about this ship and did it in a couple of pages, what a magical work!! 
and well, now here's my fave fic, the one that took my head, shaked it like it's a soda can, and then left it open, fountaining at first and then dented and empty. 
I ask for nothing, but maybe I'm lying is the work that made me grateful for the fact that i know how to read in english. its....mmmm, you know that feeling when fic makes you go through literally everything? and then, as a bonus, through all stages of grief as well?
first you get hooked up by the beautiful writing style and so you know the fic is gonna be good and you get comfortable and you turn yourself off from the rest of the world and you read. 
you love pov, you love mood shifts, you love pacing, you love when scenes are short and you pause to think about what happened / you love when scenes are long and you get overloaded with the simple things that make you feel complicated emotions, you love it all. 
then you start to wish it would never finish; you look at the scrolling bar from time to time, a little bit too aware of how much there's left to read, a little bit too anxious about it. and at the same time, the fic starts to make you feel safe, confident, that at least it's gonna be alright, its gonna be that one work that will replace the canon events for you. it was the
“Oh. Oh, Archivist, no. That’s not right at all,” you say to yourself as you watch him march into artefact storage, both hands clamped around an axe. 
On a whim, you decide to save him."
line for me for sure uhhh it still hits as good as the first time too 
and then you get to the ending and you just stare at the screen. that hollowing feeling slowly spreading inside you. *sigh* its the best sort of inspiration im sure, but its the worse one too. i have no idea how possessedradios and authors like them are able to write something that kills you, then reanimates you and then makes you sit in front of the tablet drawing hours non stop. ''I ask for nothing, but maybe I'm lying" is so beautiful its scares and fascinates me, just like the podcast did. hell, better then the podcast did.  i know its silly but i even named my fisrt fanart of michael as the title of the fic 👉👈
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ahhhh SO i rumbled again SORRY!!!!!!! every time someone asks something from me its either "i'll reply later" (replies 10 years after) or "tolstoy, hold my fucking beer". but i really hope that fic writers, not only those who are mentioned here but like in general? know how much they affect other people!! how their work creates safe spaces for others!! how they make readers smile or cry, even if those readers (im not pointing finger on myself idk what you talking about pgphpphph) are little gremlins that leaving comments once in a decade....................
have fun time reading!! <3
btw im working on a little fanart rn............. (expressing my deepest grattitude to ao3 johmichael writers 😳🔪)
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carlsangel · 7 months ago
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DIFFERENCES
ron anderson x reader
(you’d hate to care again after the death of your family, until you meet ron.)
tags: fluff!
masterlist here!
carl grimes masterlist here!
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After losing your family, your life was miserable. No matter how long you trudged through the woods, you never ended up anywhere. The thought of reconnecting with someone only hurt you, you could only imagine what could happen to them and the pain you’d be put through once again.
You knew if you ever were to cross anyone again, you’d leave them be. If they offered you anything, you wouldn’t take it. Building new relationships to lose wasn’t something you were looking for. Some might’ve called you stubborn or introverted. You’d say you were just being smart.
You did actually cross a good amount of people during your travels, usually families that were missing a sibling or parents, you could tell they wouldn’t last long so you never really planned on sticking with them. Why would you put yourself through that pain?
You tried your hardest, some offers were tempting and as ungrateful as you felt not accepting them, you knew it was for the best.
Except one.
One day you were walking through the woods, like you had been for what felt like months. You heard shuffling through the woods and you stopped in your tracks. You place your hand on the handle of your large knife that rested in a holster on your hip. You look around, listening for anything which it wasn’t loud so you knew it wasn’t a walker. It was a human.
The next thing you know, a girl pops out from behind a tree. She seems about your age, maybe nothing to worry about. Regardless, you still pull your knife out. Who wouldn’t?
“Chill…Im not gonna hurt you or anything.” She explains with a calm tone, walking passed to sit against a fallen log behind you. You turn to look at her and you say nothing. “Well are you gonna sit?” She adds. “I don’t even know you.” You put your knife back into its holster. “So? Can’t just sit and be a human with me?” She retorts. “I’m actually not sure I want you to. It looks and…no offense- smells like you’ve been out here for a while.”
Ouch okay. “Well hate to tell you there’s not many bathing opportunities out here.” You tell her. She looks up at you and laughs. “No I know. I arrived at the gates in a pretty disgusting state.” She looks down at her hands, picking at the skin at the side of her nails. “Gates? What gates?”
You study the way she looks at you, she realizes she didn’t mean to say what she did. She stands back up. “I guess if I’m inviting you in, i’ll introduce myself. I’m Enid.” She puts her hand out for yours. You look down at it and then back up at her. “Whatever offer it is you’re making me, I won’t take it.”
She scoffs and drops her hand, crossing her arms in an annoyed manner. “I used to be like you, you know. I didn’t want to join or trust new people in case I lost them. Alexandria…it’s different. it’s scary how normal it is, I get scared I’ll forget.” She explains. “That’s why I sneak out here. But there I get hot showers, lemonade…even movies.” She adds. You perk up at the mention of movies.
Movies were always special to you. So you gave in.
─── ⋆⋅ ꩜ ⋅⋆ ───
Enid was right, Alexandria was weird. The people were normal, not to mention ignorant to the outside. Most of them had been living there since the start. They didn’t know anything. You were interviewed which you were easily assigned to a house, you got a room in Olivia’s place where Enid was also staying.
She felt super protective of you, she’d come with you when she introduced you to everyone, including a guy named Ron. He caught your eye immediately, he was super good at making conversation with you. Although, Enid thought he was quite annoying, mostly due to the fact that he talked a lot but you liked that.
You thought you’d be annoyed with how outgoing he was, rather than being a pest he was more like a breath of fresh air. He made you realize how much you’d been missing out, how much of the old world you’d forgotten. Every time he asked you to hang out, Enid would smile at you teasingly, knowing he had the biggest crush on you.
One particular day, he had a plan to ask you out. He’d made everything perfect, just for you. He was able to find your favorite movie and snacks. He found a soft blanket he thought you’d like and he invited you over.
“Hey…” He approached you and Enid while you were sitting on the bench under the gazebo in Alexandria. Enid was writing in her journal and you were drawing. You both look up and you smile, Enid looks back down at her drawing. “Hi.”
He looked over at your sketchbook to see what you were drawing. “Is that…” he giggles, “Is that a fox?” You’re sort of embarrassed, you were never the most confident in your drawings but it made you happy. Some days when you were on your own in the woods you’d draw in the dirt, or when you found paper you’d draw on that too.
“Uhh yeah it’s a fox.” You look down at it and then back up at him with a smile. He just adores you, he thinks you’re so sweet and despite your differences, all he wanted to do was please you. So you like foxes, that’s something he already knew. He’d asked Enid about your favorite movie. “Some…fox movie? I dunno they nerded out about the director like it mattered anymore. Wes Anderson or something.” She told him.
The amount of digging Ron did to find Fantastic Mr. Fox for you was astounding. He asked everyone in Alexandria, knocked on every door, he’d even asked Aiden to try and find him one at the nearest RedBox kiosk. God knows how he would’ve gotten that shit out the machine but he ended up finding one at a Blockbuster instead.
“Speaking of foxes…” he started, “I was thinkin you could come over again tonight to watch a movie. I just found a Fantastic Mr. Fox DVD…if that’s somethin you’re interested in.” He explains, knowing full well you’d agree. Which you did and it was evident that you were happy about it considering the look on your face. You were absolutely ecstatic, you’d watched the movie before the world died and most of the time it was all you ever thought about.
“R-really? Fantastic Mr. Fox? I love that movie!” The smile on your face felt so rewarding for him. He smiled at your excitement. “Yeah I found some uh..popcorn too.” You nod as he speaks, youve been sold since he mentioned the movie. “Yeah I’ll be over tonight.” You smile brightly. “Cool. It’s a date.”
Well that just slipped out of his mouth and he scolded himself in his brain for it. Was that too forward? “Yeah, it’s a date.” You reply.
Wait really?
He just smiled and nodded before walking back to his house, he had to mentally and physically prepare. You turn back to Enid and she’s giving you a taunting smile. “What?” You ask, she just shakes her head at you, believing you’re truly oblivious. “You know he means that, right? Like he actually thinks it’s a date.”
“Yeah. I know.”
─── ⋆⋅ ꩜ ⋅⋆ ───
That night you didn’t do anything special when getting ready, you did everything as normal. You expected your date to be normal as well. You’d liked Ron for a while, you were excited for what tonight would bring. You happily knock on his door and after a couple seconds of shuffling around he opens it to be greeted with your bright smile. “Hey. Come in.” He makes room for you to walk through the door and you make your way over to the couch where you guys always hung out. Alone that is.
You plop down on your usual spot and he sits next to you, hitting play on the movie. You’re immediately enamored by the film and get quite invested. Ron on the other hand was invested in you. He loved the way you loved. Everything about the way that you cared about the most beautiful things, only made you more beautiful in his eyes.
By the end of the night, he practically missed the entire movie. He made some sweet gestures, giving you the snacks you liked and snaking his hand into yours. He even walked you out. But he couldn’t say goodbye without doing one thing first.
“I really appreciate it, the movie. It really means alot.” You tell him, standing at his doorstep about to part ways. “Well, you mean a lot to me. I had to.” His fingers were still intertwined with yours, you could feel his hands tensing up. “Thank you.” You beam. He nods and can feel you pulling away to leave. Before you do, he pulls you back in, kissing you sweetly.
You can’t say you were surprised.
When you pulled away, he felt a sense of relief, finally getting the hard part out of the way. Now it was to find out whether or not you were okay with it. He tried to make it as simple as possible, a simple yes or no.
“So…I’ll see you tomorrow?” He waits patiently for your answer.
“Yeah, at the gazebo. It’s a date.”
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a/n: tell me why this took me SO FUCKING LONG. AND ITS SO LONG. guys im distraught. i projected alot of myself into this fic for some reason, meaning my favorite movie is in fact fantastic mr fox i never stfu about it. anyway. one of my million gazillion fics to publish XP
tag list: @zomb-1-egutzz @evilnight07 @ilikestrawberriesandwomen
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bee-ina-boat · 1 year ago
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heres a collection of concept art for the rest of the entities for the mythos au!! if you're wondering where the eye is, they've been drawn already!
they are all FAR from done. keep in mind these are all just my initial concepts and i plan to do in-depth design sheets as i go to explore their designs more.
IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS ON HOW TO IMPROVE THESE DESIGNS PLEASE THROW EM AT ME- MY ANON IS OPEN AND I READ TAGS I DONT CARE JUST!!!! GIMME!!!!!
(also au context: the magnus mythos is an au where the entities are all gods, similar to various religious mythology, rather than paranormal entities that feed on fear)
design thoughts for each of them under the cut
The Web - God of Fate (she/it): im pretty happy with her design atm, shes meant to be a half spider half woman thing and i love that for her. shes probably the one ive thought the most on so far given her importance to the story. i want her to wear silks and shiny silver jewelry that just sparkles like wet spiderwebs do, not sure if im gonna keep the veil?
The Dark - God of the Dark (she/he/it): probably my weakest concept at the moment. it doesnt do the dark any justice. i mean i like the cloak idea but i want them to be very tendrilly, all consuming, shadowy, but i dont know how to properly portray them :/
The Desolation - God of Destruction and Fire (they/it): i have a neat vision for them! i want them to be made of coal and ash and smoke, to be burning and glowing on the inside, and their body is decorated with melted wax to look like clothes. not quiiiiiite sure about how their melty candle dress is now? i want it to be less constrictive
The Stranger - God of the Unknown and the Whimsical (he/she/they/it): it's meant to be this. weird wirey creature hidden behind masks and a lot of fabrics, like the framework of a poseable plush doll? i like the way the masks look but im not so sure about the body.
The Vast - God of the Above (she/he/they/it): im not so sure about his design at all im gonna be real. i want them to look like the atmosphere and be covered in clouds and have mountains for feet and an ocean cape but i feel like it might be a bit?? idk??? im just not that happy with it :/
The End - God of Death and Time (they/it): ugh i love this concept sm, making death read as less scary and more divine is so fun. theyre based on a seraphim and a sand timer,
The Buried - God of the Underneath (she/he/they/it): ANOTHER OF MY FAVORITES!!!! i love them. theyre inspired by hermit crabs!! and they have silver chains holding their shell to them. they look so endearing with their lil lopsided eyes ;; <3
The Flesh - God of the Body and Meat (she/he/they/it): i have so many ideas for the flesh y'all- im very excited to do a concept sheet for them. theyre meant to have no skin, just exposed bone and muscle, large limbs, hooves, exposed heart underneath a ribcage, teeth that close around their abdomen. white bandages that wrap around like clothes. a teeth/horn crown? i dont quite know whether to go for a more animalistic look or a more human one? like- theres so many ways to go with him idek!!!
The Hunt - God of Predators and Pride (they/it): see, i like this design but i feel like its too werewolf like? yknow? thats cool!! but itreads more monster to me than God :/
The Corruption - God of Nature, Rot, and Disease (she/they/it): i love this weird bug thing. this one i was really inspired for (mostly because. corruption aligned. so obviously im gonna think about this one alot) theyre this weird bug thing, the veil is inspired by the one from the art on the wiki! i want to maybe make them a bit more gross and weird because nature is like that sometimes, a moot on tiktok suggested that i add animal bones!! and i think thats SO smart im absolutely going too
The Spiral - God of the Incomprehensible (it/its): this weirdo is so hard to pin down istg. i imagine them as this spiral thing. body is kindof liquidy, arms are spindly and long, multiple shifting faces, overall just constantly changing and moving and like!!! how am i meant to draw that??? when my brain cant even wrap my head around what its supposed to look like yknow??? bruh jrdbhgfjdldgfh- that being said i think the main problem with the design is that it just gives me too many Michael vibes!!! is it the hair? the arms? its probably both.
The Lonely - God of Solitude and the Self (they/it): i like what this one has going so far! theyve got fog hair, fog tears, their body is meant to be splotchy like turquoise marble, i vibe with it so hard. not so sure what to do with their outfit tho :/
The Slaughter - God of War (he/they/it): another one of my more stronger designs i think! centaur with weapons sticking into them, face concealed, medieval armor and antlers- it vibes
the extinction isnt drawn because i literally have no idea what they should look like aside from color palette-
once again any and all suggestions will be taken!!!! i need ideas!!! plese!!!!
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bonezone44 · 9 months ago
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but pervy roller derby coach joel and seasoned derby girl fucking in joels truck after a bout when ezra finds them with the windows all fogged up… ofc he joins in
You fucking know it!
Roller Derby Coach!Joel Miller x F!Reader x Boyfriend!Ezra
tags: unprotected p-in-v, double creampie, Ezra and Joel being spiteful towards one another. praise, degredation, use of the word "whore" but in a sexy way
--
He wanted to offer you a personal congratulations after helping your Jammer get point after point, resulting in your team's win. 157 to 163. It was a close one and your offense is what made the difference. Joel lost count of how many times you knocked the opposing Jammer off the track, running them back and killing their spirit. He's surprised you still have any energy left after all that work.
But here you are in his truck with him, bouncing on his cock like it's nothing. You got nothing on but your sports bra and youre soaked in sweat with your gear airing out in his flat bed.
Then Ezra’s wandering around the parking lot outside the rink, wondering where the hell you are because there's an after party to go to. And he already smoked a couple joints with the referees, and you still hadn't appeared. Then he sees the foggy window, the way the truck is bouncing, and he can't help but creep closer. His whole body floods with heat when he sees your gear. He looks around, sees if anybody has eyes on him before opening up the passenger door.
"Shit!" Joel curses.
You both stop in a panic. Your hands gripping his biceps to stabilize yourself.
Ezra's all smiles. "You don't think she's done enough work tonight, Coach?" He chuckles at your silent, shocked faces. He climbs inside and shuts the door behind him. "Our superstar here requires appreciation. Not more strain on her supremely effective musculature." He crawls closer.
"How 'boutchu--" Joel begins.
Ezra wraps his hand around the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss.
Joel’s hands are still tight on your hips. Watching Ezra's tongue meet yours makes his cock twitch and pisses him off at the same time. He grunts.
Ezra's hazy eyes slide over to Joel's after he pulls away from you. "How 'bout I what, Joel?"
Joel snarls and shoves Ezra back with a broad palm to his chest. "How 'boutchu see with your eyes and not with your hands?" He turns back to you. "She's mine right now, and I ain't gonna let you touch her 'til I'm done with her."
Ezra chuckles and undoes his pants, pulling his hardening cock out. "Go ahead and fill her up good, then." He smirks and begins to stroke himself. "Patience is a virtue, and although I am far from a virtuous man, I have been known to wander briefly on the path of the principled." He breaths deeply through his nose, taking in the smell of sweat and sex. "A path more easily endured when enticed by heavenly rewards."
Joel rolls his eyes. "Does he ever shut the fuck up?"
Ezra chuckles again. "You best make haste, old man, before that little blue pill wears off and you go softer than an ice cream cone in the Fourth of July sunshine."
Joel smirks at Ezra and shakes his head. He turns back to you, his hands slide up your sides, grip your breasts through your bra. "You ever seen me take a pill?"
"No," you shake your head. You're so overwhelmed by the situation, you're surprised you were able to say anything at all. And Joel's strong fingers are working your chest, working the muscles in your hips and thighs.
"I don't need no pill," he says with a haughty grin, thrusting up into you. "I don't need her to ride me, neither," he adds for good measure. "I can make her come with my cock alone." He holds you still and you angle your hips slightly as his own hips jump in the seat. "Come on, baby. Show 'im how good this cock is. Come on, now."
You wrap your arms around his shoulders and dig your face into his neck, moaning and keening with every strong thrust. You hear Ezra moaning, too. You turn your head to the side and see him panting, biting his lips. He goes from jerking himself off to squeezing his cock at the base and shaking it, staving off his orgasm with a desperate look on his face. It's all so much, you're sent over the edge--your orgasm barely noticable amidst Joel's relentless assault. How can you come down when everything around you is still building and escalating?
"Gonna fill this pussy up, now," Joel groans. His meaty claws close and spread your asscheeks as he begins to grind into you.
You try to remind yourself to breathe as you squeeze him tighter, whimpering and panting.
"Gonna give you all this come," he groans again and you feel a rush of warmth inside of you.
"Come here, baby," you hear Ezra speak up. "Lemme feel that." And before you know it, you're in Ezra's lap. His cock slides readily into yours and he pants and moans pathetically. "Oh fuck, oh shit, oh shit, baby. That's so good." His hips are barely moving as he holds you close against him, but the squelch of your messy pussy is loud. "Mmmm-that's so good. that's that good shit right there. Oh fuck, baby. Gonna fill you up, too. Mmhmm--gonna give you that sloppy cunt, huh? You like that, baby?" His eyes go wide and you're locked in, nodding and agreeing to whatever he says. "You like bein naughty? You like being filthy?"
At this point, it doesn't matter what either of them say. You'll agree to just about anything that comes out of their mouths--and their cocks.
"Fuckin filthy," he mutters with a snarl and brings his hand down to your ass with a harsh, solid slap. "Fuckin filthy whore. Nnnngg---" He comes inside of you.
You feel dizzy. Spent. Tired. Dazed. You should probably hydrate soon. And you wonder if anyone else on the team is looking for the three of you. You hope Joel has some napkins somewhere in his car, but you're not too worried because you have a pack of wet wipes in your gear bag. You never thought you'd use them for something like this, but... so it goes.
No one suspects a single thing at the after party. You throw back a few shots with your teammates and leg wrestle on the bar floor. You dance to the salsa music someone is playing on the juke box. You consider doing those pelvic floor exercises you saw on youtube once.
------------
a/n: I love life and I love being alive.
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savannahsdeath · 1 year ago
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SOCCER!ELLIE X CHEERLEADER!READER
PART 5FIVE aka; the epilogue
part 4four
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warnings: minors safe !!🩷
writers note: finally the end ugh.. im not gonna lie, i hate how the whole 'series' (its too short to be called a series, but wtv) turned out, so im glad to finish it. though, im looking forward to make another fic with actual plot and not just smut, tho an abby one (i already have the epilogue written and im so so excited🤭)
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you felt stupid. stupid, but mostly hurt. you couldn't understand why a small part of you wanted to believe that vi did nothing wrong. that small part of you wanted to end all of this, get on good terms with vi and be with ellie.
although, you weren't hurt by cheating itself. after all, you thought that's what happened for the past months, so you were already mentally prepared for that.
whatever.
⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
you and ellie went through all the usual motions of a happy couple together, though not as an official couple yet. you spent time with each other and your friends, and you slowly forgot about the past and all the drama you had experienced.
you didn't forget about vi, though. you still felt guilty about the way you let her manipulate you like that. you could still hear her voice in your mind, telling you love isn't something you both have and, probably, never had.
you decided she shouldn't be a part of your life anymore, and you did your best to avoid her. she didn't know that you know, though it was obvious, since the rumours continued. you just didn't care anymore. not about her, at least.
ellie didn't speak much about the past, and you didn't either, because you felt like you didn't need to. the past was the past, and now you were looking forward to your future together.
you started thinking less and less about vi, soon managing to get her out of your mind for the whole day. not much, but after what happened, it was a big success. she was no longer a part of your life. ellie was, and that's all that mattered to you now.
you spent more and more time with her. you got to know her team better, returning the favor by taking her to your friend group's meeting.
you told luccy, your best friend, about the whole situation. it took you a good few hours to explain everything.
luccy listened to your entire story, impressed by the twists and turns it took. you could tell she was almost as surprised as you, her eyes widening with each sentence.
"well, no wonder you were so confused," she said politely, "but at least you have ellie now, and you seem happy together." she paused for a moment, before asking; "do you miss vi at all?"
you sighed and closed your eyes, imagining every good moment with her and comparing it to the happiness ellie brought you.
it was almost impossible to answer your friend's question.
on one hand, you had had great moments with vi, and you could even admit that you loved her.
and then there's ellie - which made you remember that your ex wasn't there for you when you needed it.
"no, i don't think so." you replied, ashamedly looking down. "ellie makes me feel like i never even truly loved vi."
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
i want to add some 'last words' about this fic, especially this part. a lot of you guys will probably be mad at me for not taking any revenge. but you, as the reader, have to understand that its not that easy. after being so hurt, after hearing so many lies, all you wanted was a normal relationship. a stable, honest and calm one. the one you got with ellie. you knew getting revenge would only complicate things - you probably wont be able to forget her at all once youd put salt on the wounds all over again. just the fact that she has to see you happy with ellie, while shes left alone, is enough. thanks to everyone who supported the series<3
TAGS: @wandasromanova @bellaramslover @aouiaa @glennns-blog @elliewilliamsfuckbuddy @iheartsadiesink @ximtiredx @coff1nn @jowdann @simpforellie @iveofficiallylostmymarbles @skylerwhitwyo @pinkigirl @islalips @ratdungeon @okayyesbutno @dinoastronaut @ucannotcompare @elyonz @lesbiantothemoonandback @lovejuliettq @param8re @r3wbeef and some more i cant tag for unknown reasons:(
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jazzyblusnowflake · 9 months ago
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I've got one for ya. What were the first kisses in the N/V/Uzi relationship like. Uzi and N first, Uzi and V's first, and V and N's first.
(Bonus points for V and N's first kiss at the manner for some bittersweet angst)
Also, good golly gumdrops, love your stuff, even if you don't answer this one, still gonna keep enjoying
oh oh i love these kinds of ideas :"D tho it takes a bit of brain power to think of a good scene uhm.... lessee....
Ok so first up, although im still waiting for a canon first kiss for NUzi- since they are a thing now, i still like to think of something separate for my own version- [since obviously the main show isn't going towards a poly dynamic lmao]
See, we all know that the show is fast paced and its hard to find any empty spaces between each event, hell it almost feels like earth was blown apart and the DDs were on copper 9 the next day, Liam we need a fucking timeline order. 🙄 soooooo i personally like to imagine that there's a lot more time between events than is shown in the actual show. like- lets maybe put a few days between Uzi administrating N and V and the arrival of J and Cynessa- like.... maybe lets put a few NIGHTS between that??? what's the freaking rush 😭
But anyway yeah- i would put the first NUzi kiss somewhere around betwenn the camp and the flashback eps probably :p my idea would be that since the camp incidents, Uzi would be having a lot of bodily changes to deal with, one of which being her inability to tolerate the sun much anymore. other things would probably be the growth of literal flesh and blood and bones inside of her and lets make this morbid by adding her throwing up blood but keeping it a secret from everyone :p she may sneak back to the other two at night and stay with them- clearly shaken up- [V probably also being shaken up because on one hand she's terrified of seeing this transformation take place- but at the same time, she clearly cares enough about Uzi AND Ns happiness...] asking for help and advice- and the 3 grow closer during this. They practice with her for flying or controlling her tail- maybe some stuff on her control on oil hunger too. she probably also gets some fighting, sneaking and sparring practice with V-
//insert one of those cheesy moments where V riles up Uzi enough to tag her on the snowy ground but then realizes its the same position she got V in her solver!mode and starts panicking and pushing herself back- V getting back up and asking what the heck was that and Uzi just saying she doesn't want to hurt her and V is an insensitive jerk for making her spar with her in the first place and tries to fly away to calm down-..... which probably just ended with her falling face first in the snow and a lecture from both N and V.
overall they all started subconsciously getting even closer. tbh there's so many things i could add here but i gotta keep it a few NIGHTS not a few MONTHS until the next event 😭
either way during this i guess N and Uzi could have maybe ended up alone at some point- maybe after a flying lesson having gone right and they were a little too happy on top of a building or upturned bus or something lol- i imagine after a hug maybe Uzi asks if she could kiss N but quickly backtracks saying nvm it was stupid or something but N softly says its okay- //probably picks her up too, adding to her embarrassment- cuz she's short lmaooooo// and Uzi just decides to give a small unsure smooch- but decided to make it not too long. they decided to just hug after that to not let the other see them blushing like hell 😭 [also they didn't really decide anything after this cuz they are idiots????😭😭😭]
but anyway for the Vuzi first kiss i have no idea if or when V would return if she's been set to remain alive in the canon- but for me its probably when she appears again in her normal form, as herself. not a clone. Alice isn't alive to take the cores and make them sluggish with heat and the sentinels wouldn't have a chance against the solvers centipede lookin ass form.
Anyway if we consider that one way or another Uzi, N and V will meet up again, [and N and Uzi preferably get to share a better kiss this time-] the first thing Uzi is doing is landing a swift punch in Vs face and then kissing the daylights out of her- //confusing herself and everyone in the area in the process including V herself...// overall she would scold V on the whole "i trust you" shtick and leaving them alone- but yeah :p [ keep in mind that im also considering a few nights between when J and Cynessa show up and when they decide to actually go and find and search the labs, because PLOT REASONS :D ]
as for the first Envee kiss- ill do you one better and make it more angsty and say that N and V used to always spend time with each other and do silly things like hold hands in secret or send internal chat messages to eachother, draw and read books together- maybe N used to put flowers for her sometimes. But at some point a certain little corrupted drone started feeling possessive of her favorite "big brother" figure not spending time with her anymore...
one time, N had asked V if he could kiss her and at that they were both blushing messes but before V could respond they get interrupted- maybe by someone giving them orders or maybe by Cyn. either way, V quickly whispers to him "later, i promise" with a smile, making N happy and giddy. but the later never comes... V becomes comatose soon after... N sadly reading books to her and sometimes whispering to her to wake up and that she still has to keep her promise...
anyway after all things are said and done in the future and the solver is defeated- whether they are still living on copper 9 or any other planet idk- N, V and Uzi are all close, but since both N and V are close to Uzi, they also start spending more time with each other too. maybe one time on a walk or going out and about N was able to catch up with V and they reminisce about old memories they can now remember; and when V was finally able to open up a bit to N, he mentions that he still remembers the promise and asks her if he could kiss her again and she lets him.
and thaaaats all the brain power i have for tonight... i think... hope it made yall smile or cry or idk something lmao. :")
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