#shaku tells stories

[zeherili-ankhein]

Tell me the the thakumar jhuli storie please🥰

OKK SOOO TIME FOR MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE TALE EVERRRRR

This is my favourite favourite story of all time and i was so upset not many people know this 😭 there's an animated version too by ssoftoons but it doesn't do any justice to the story... So here's me rambling it out

Also tagging y'all @randomx123 @jeahreading @krishna-priyatama @foreignink @ishaaron-ishaaron-me @igotadigbickandureadthatwrong @dwarpharini @priestessofuniverse @no-idea-where-i-am-lost @desigurlie @shubhadeep385 @stxrrynxghts @no-idea-where-i-am-lost cuz the story is soo crazy and so dear to me I wanted to share it lol

Trigger warning: bitchass people, killing those bitchass people, traumatic childhood, raw meat, arrange marriage, breast milk, lowkey mention of sh accusations, long hair, and a lot of questionable stuff... And cannibalism... If that counts... 💀 And lots of swearing

So in the starting of the story, we are introduced to this really lazy brahmin. He's so lazy him and his wife are in poverty 💀 (like I can feel you sir I am lazy too!! but get some money dude) he does begging and goes with his day with the money he gets 💀

One day brahmani get's to know that the neighbouring kingdom's prince is getting married and the king is gonna arrange a feast for all the brahmins and everyone who'll attend, and gift them money and stuff.

So brahmani tells her lazyass husband to go attend the wedding and get the gold ✨✨ but dude is so lazy he's literally like laying on the floor whinning about not wanting to do any work.

Brahmin: im too lazy we are well with the money we have no?

Brahmani: go or I'll kill myself 🗿

Brahmin: ..... 💀🤌

But bou boleche so he needs to get going... 🗿🤌

........

So now while he's going he's literally so lazy and introverted he doesn't even know the way to that kingdom and didn't ask anyone 💀 and so now he's lost in the forest doing Dora the explorer shit

Then he's roaming in the forest and notices a Korir pahar (ig this was the time period when they used shells as currency...) so he's like “wtf?? there's literally so much money and nobody noticed??” but he continues to go on.. (dude is so unbothered bruhh)

Then he notices adhulir pahar.. (idk what that is but must be some kinda currency) then takar pahar and dude skips each of them like unwanted youtube adds 💀🤌

At the end he notices a gold coin mountain (mohorer pahar 🏔️) 🗿 and brahmin is like o.O seeing all that, then he notices that there's a big palace at the foot of that mountain (red alarm bro get out of there asap)

......

Then he notices a beautiful woman standing at the door of the palace motioning him to go near her. (Ig my guy doesn't know the rule to NEVER trusts sundari aurat at the middle of nowhere... Especially the one's that's calling ya to get close... 💀)

So he's now confused but get's to the door anyways... And asks her “who tf are you and why are you here???”

Sundari: you don't remember me? :(

Brahmin: ....no..

Sundari: how will you remember me... It was so long before, when you were kids..

Sundari: that we got married in this palace, it was so beautiful...

Sundari: now come inside and take some rest

Brahmin: GURL WHA-

He legit wonders when tf did that happen and why he remembers nothing, but thinks maybe they DID get married as kids because Kulin Brahmins used to get married more than once... (Now this is where I got to know this information lol)

Tho he warns her that he can't remember shit.. and she just laughs it of by saying he doesn't need to work his brain so much and can just rest without worries 💀

.....

The palace is BIG and is as usual filled with riches and golds and silvers and gemstones, BUT sundari stays alone in that place. And if the Brahmin wanted to know why, she just said a sad story and went with it... 💀

NOW here's a big plot revealed. The sundari is actually a rakkhushi who killed all the citizens of that kingdom and everyone in the palace and, just took over the place turning it into a forest 💀 (that's why you don't trust strangers brahmin bro...)

.......

So now Brahmin is legit staying in that palace with her 💀🤌 (ig they did the deed too.. lol) and he kind of forgot about his wife at home... (Bruhhh)

Sundari tells him to bring his wife to that palace so that they all can live together happily. Saying it's not her fault he mistakenly married her... 🤡 (The audacity bro the audacity!!!)

But brahmin is intelligent 🗿 he knows if he keeps both wives together they are gonna fight. And says “nahh she can stay at the city, I'll go visit her once in a while”

But sundari forces him to go get her saying they won't fight or be jealous and she'd stay nicely with her. So brahmin agrees to go get wifey...

.....

Now this side brahmani is like worried sick because dude is missing for SO long, and all the other brahmins that had went to the wedding had returned and they all said he wasn't with them at the wedding so she's like “more gache re amar bor 💀” and she's like on the verge of calling herself a bidhoba when dude returns.

That also in expensive clothes and with riches and clothes for her. So she's like happy that her husband is back and cries happily.

Brahmin tells her about everything that happened and she's like “bruhhh you literally returned back from a rakkhushi and you wanna go back? Don't be a dumbass” and he says “bu-but she's pretty 🥺 so she can't be a rakkhoshi 🗿” (aurat ka chakkar hai babu bhaiya....)

Brahmani gets convinced that yeah that might be cuz why tf it won't be. 💀 So they leave for that random ass palace in the middle of nowhere.

........

They take their gorib manush stuff (it's a joke im not making fun of anyone's econimic status 💀👍) and set to go settle in that palace.

When they reach the palace, that Sundari was already at the gate waiting for them with a big smile. And as soon as they entered she hugged brahmani like “yooo sautan how have ya been” 💀

She legit goes “we're sisters now don't worry about me being jealous hehe” (that's a red flag that's a BIG RED FLAG!!!”

.......

So anyways they stay there well and good, and years go by and now brahmin has two kids 🗿 One with the sundari/rakshashi — Shohosrodol (see see they did the hulalala) and one with brahmani — Chompokdol

✨AND THESE TWO ARE THE HEROES OF THE STORYYY✨

Well not for me I only consider Chompok my hero (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

But whatever back to plot....

.......

Shohosro and Chompok are like besties for life, two peas in a pod, two body one soul kinda close. They literally can't leave without eachother. 🗿✨

And they go to these neighbourhood kingdom school on their POKKHIRAJ GHORA BRO THEY POKKHIRAJ GHORA!!!! And study and play around and everything, they look good (Chompok looks better idc) and everything typical rupkothar golpo hero has.

Now amidst everything, while living with the humans around her, rakkhushi bbg kinda forgot the taste of raw meat and just became like a normal married mohila living with her family 🤡

But one day finally our lazy lad brahmin finally decides he's getting too useless doing nothing “khub beshi boshe boshe shorir e jong lege jachhe shikar korte jabo” 🗿💀

So whatever he goes hunting and brings back animals and stuff like rabbits or deer or swans. And the kiddos literally jump with joy each time he brings in a deer (and from here I got to know back then deer meat was a delicacy for bengalis)

And NOW NOW NOW, seeing so much raw uncooked meat in front of her our pookie cookie rakkhushi is like “DAMN BRO I NEED MEAT IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I ATE RAW MEAT” but for obvious reasons she can't tell that to anyone

So she decides she'd just regularly sneak into the kitchen take some chunk of the meat from the dead animal before it's cooked and DEVOUR it. 💀🗿

.......

Now one day brahmani notices that meat is going missing and one day decides she'd hide in the kitchen and see what's the matter.

She waits and watch as rakkhoshi comes and pulls the meat out from the window and eats it. And get's scared cuz wtf they are ACTUALLY living with a rakkhoshi.

She doesn't says anything but the next day she's like

Brahmani: didi do you know meat is going missing nowadays...?

Rakkhoshi: ....is it?

Brahmani: yeah you know why?

Rakkhoshi: how would ik

Brahmani: ik who you are stop pretending

Rakkhoshi: yeah whatever im gonna eat you and your husband now, be prepared you two would be in my stomach by tomorrow noon, then your son too

💀 So yeah... girlie went and confronted her like a dumbass in place of running away in secret 💀🤌

.....

Now brahmani is worried that even if she dies she doesn't want her son to die (mom cares) she stays awake the entire night wondering what to do. Then at dawn she wakes up Chompok urging him not return from school that day, telling him about the rakkhoshi and everything.

She gives him a small container with her breast milk in it. And tells him, if the milk turns a little red then to know Chompok's parents are in danger, a little more red and his dad is dead, completely blood red then his mom is also dead. 💀

Even tho Chompok didn't understood it completely he still agreed to do as asked amd goes to school with Shohosro on their POKKHIRAJ GHORA

.......

But on their way he kept looking anxious and continuously checked the container so Shohosro got worried and asked what was wrong but pookie kept denying and just said everything was fine even when th milk turned a little red.

But at one point he checked and it was completely red, because on that side while the Brahmin was bathing in a pond, the rakkhoshi killed and ate him then ate the brahmani. 💀

So now after seeing the red af milk, Chompok falls down from his pokkhiraj ghora while he was busy crying and trying to run away from Shohosro.

Worried Shohosro ran behind him, landing just next to Chompok taking his head in his lap asking what's wrong as he rambles and cries to him, telling him, that his rakkhoshi maa killed his parents. Now Shohosro is like 💀 cuz he's hearing it for the first time that his mother is a rakkhoshi.

Now rakkhoshi darling comes running in her real form yelling at them for Shohosro to step aside as that's her son so she'll not do him any harm and she would just eat Chompok.

BUT our hero Shohosro is like “fuck you woman that's my brother you are talking about I ain't moving aside I'm fighting you” 🗿🗿 (we'll he's a pookie cookie) and yeah... He killed his momma using his sword (slayyyyyyy like literally)

........

Now both Shohosro and Chompok are wondering in a new place thinking what to do with their life now because it's getting late

They come accross a home and decides to ask them to let them stay there for the night and goes to sleep as soon as they hit the bed.

When they wake up later, they hear some commotion happening in the front of the house, as the members of the family are arguing about something.

They are like “na na ami buro hoye gechi ami jabo” “na na ami shobar chhoto ami jabo ami gele karor jaye ashbe na” 💀🤌

So both the brothers are like tf is going on and they go ask the head of the family that what's the matter

Buro lok: so one day a random ass rakkhosh came from nowhere and terrorized us killed people here and there

Buro lok: so our king decided that we will offer one human to him every night so that he doesn't kill anyone

Buro lok: so now each night one person from a family goes and wait at that old Shib mondir at the end

Buro lok: untill the rakkhosh comes at the third hour of the night to eat them

Buro lok: and today it's our family's turn, so we are deciding who'd go.

Then Shohosro and Chompok are like

The bros: yeah we will go

Buro lok: but tomra amader otithi you can't go

The bros: you guys let us stay so now we are family we will go

Buro lok: .....ok 😔

These two bitches really argue like some pro debater to go to the death game that's about to happen 💀

.....

Now at the Shib mondir, Chompok is like “ykw im too sleepy you stay awake and I'll go take a mosher moto ghum” 💀 So Shohosro is like “ok little bro as you wish :3” and he stays awake.

In some time the rakkhosh comes banging at the door

Rakkhosh dude: bhetore ke re?

Shohosro: ami Shohosrodol sathe bhai Chompokdol ar duto pokkhoraj ghora 🗿

Rakkhosh dude in his mind: damn that's kid got rakkhosh blood in him can't eat him, I'll come later.

This happens another time before Shohosro wakes up Chompok cause he was feeling sleepy now, so he tells Chompok what to tell when the Rakkhosh comes, telling him to say that word by word before he nake tel diye ghumiye pore. 💀

......

Time comes and the rakkhosh comes too, and asks the same question but Chompok in a panic says “ami Chompokdol sathe Shohosrodol ar pokkhiraj ghora” and as soon as he said that rakkhosh is like yessss food and tries to break the door.

Shohosro wakes up with a startle hearing all the noice and as soon as the rakkhosh breaks the door, he kills him using his sword 🗿🗿 (boi is a warrior)

So now they are like okay yeah the rakkhosh is dead? and his giant head is laying on the floor? Who cares we are gonna give a moron ghum rn...

Next day people see the big ass rakkhosh's body and the news go to the king, who at first doesn't believe that someone killed the rakkhosh but later decides to go see for himself.

He comes and sees the body and is like shocked pikachu face, and opens the door to get inside seeing the head just randomly laying just like that. Then he notices as Shohosro and Chompok wakes up fron their beauty sleep and asks who killed that bitch.

They are like “Shohosro killed him 🗿” and king is like “thats it I had planned whomever would kill the rakkhosh, I'll get him married to my daughter so now Shohosro is my jamai 🗿”

.....

So anyways they get married and rajamoshai plans to give away half of his kingdom to Shohosro, so ofcourse they starts to stay at the kingdom. (ghor jamai my dear)

BUT the queen of that kingdom has a favourite dashi who's also secretly a rakkhoshi 💀 but nobody knows that. She goes out of the palace each night to eat, somedays picking up goru or chagol or somedays a randomass manush just like that. And nobody found out who's doing that bruhhh 💀💀

So Chompok, who usually sleeps late at night (just like mehhh) starts to notice the odd behaviour of that rakkhoshi dashi 🗿(btw the king built him his own palace to stay 🗿) but now dashi is alert cuz dude is literally a threat to her identity 💀.

So what she does? Complains to the queen that Chompok can't stand her and is threatening to kill her and everything (this didn't sit well with me, I feel like this perticular part had something... I feel like she was lowkey accusing Chompok of harrasment 💀🤌 cuz the words were like that)

......

Maharani ofcourse believed her favourite dashi over a randomass stranger boy (well not completely since he's her son-in-law's brother but still) and decided she'd go tell moharaj to throw out Chompok 💀 (sed life)

BUT our man our savior Shohosro heard her and he was like💀😰 what did my brother do to get this treatment I gotta save him...

So he wrote a letter saying “my dear brather I love you forever but you gotta get out of this kingdom... leave by tonight and don't come back” and send it to Chompok's place in secret (like bkl atleast have the decency to go tell him yourself 💀🤌)

So anyways... Chompok receives the letter and after reading it my pookie is getting all the bad thoughts he's like “kya itna bura hu main ma..? 😞 why my dada don't wanna see my face ever again what did I do wrong now where do I go 🥺”

But he still leaves the kingdom that night cuz dada boleche 🗿

.......

Chompok goes around like some dishahara prani in the forest and comes across a BIG palace in the middle of nowhere (why are all the palaces in some weirdass places??)

And what does he decides?

Ignore the palace and goes by with his day? ❌

Gets inside the palace because curiosity kills the cat? ✅

(And they say kids are not like parents 💀 baap pe gaya hai)

.....

Inside the palace my baby finds NO ONE legit no one 💀 (red alert bro should leave the place...) But then he reaches a room and goes inside just to discover a gorgeous maiden sleeping on the bed :3 (she's my sleeping beauty ok idc about anything else)

And he's like o.O ummmm wtf because obviously situation is so wild why tf is a randomass mohila sleeping in a sunsan palace in the middle of a forest.

So he stands there like 🧍for quite some time not knowing what to do and tries to wake the cutie up. But when he sees that she ain't waking up like that he finally notices the golden and silver sticks on both sides of her head (sonar kathi rupor kathi bro!!!! I've always known them from here)

The golden one on her right side and the silver one on her left side, and mr big brain is like “hmm ykw? Let's see what happens when touch her with both the sticks... and bro was right 💀 she woke up as soon as the golden stick touched her 💀🤌 (he tried the silver one at first too, but didn't work)

.......

As soon as the maiden woke up and saw an handsome young man standing near her head, she's like

Babygirl: who are you? Why are you here? Go away asap or they'll kill you...

Chompok: first of all lady calm down and tell me who are YOU? And who are THEY?

Babygirl: ...

Babygirl: I- I am the princess of this place, one day somewhat a thousand rakkhosh came and killed all my family and people and ate them :'(

Babygirl: they were gonna kill me too but the mom rakkhoshi said she kinda kinda likes me cuz she said I was too pretty to die, so to not kill me... (Well isn't that questionable? 💀)

Babygirl: so now I'm held captive over here and they make me fall asleep using those sticks and go to hunt and eat humans all day

Babygirl: and then they come back at the evening and wake me up and leave again the next morning.... :(

Babygirl: so now get out of here before they come and kill you too :'(

Chompok: gurl where am I supposed to go? I have nowhere to go... :'(

.......

So Chompok rattles out his entire history of being born in a weirdass family to parents dying to being told to get out of the kingdom and everything.

Babygirl: damn your story is honestly really sad... And now I see you really have nowhere to go

Babygirl: but those bitchass rakkhosh are about to arrive so ig you can go hide on the bel gach... They fear that tree for some reasons...

Babygirl: but make me fall asleep using that silver stick before you go

After doing as she asked and making her fall asleep Chompok goes and climbs the tree waiting untill he hears a bunch of rumbling dound coming from nowhere.

.......

[ Now why I haven't revealed pookie rajkonna's name yet? Idk bro the story revealed it quite late.. so ig im also waiting to give that suspense...]

Back to plot

Chompok waits and watch as all the rakkhosh come from every angles filling the palace. Then the maa rakkhosh steps in the front, waking up princess the same way he had done.

Then..

Maa rakkhosh: hmmm why do I smell human.... 🤨 Was anyone here???

Princess: ....I am a human silly (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

Maa rakkhoshi: ohh right I forgot whatever 💀

Then normal stuff happens the rakkhosh(s) all whin about wanting to eat the rajkonna but maa rakkhoshi tells them not to and then she gives rajkonna some normal human food (idk where she got that tho) And makes her do some seba 💀 and goes to sleep 🗿 (like gurlie probably stayed awake the entire night just like that)

......

Next day after those bitchass people are gone Chompok climbs down the tree and comes to wake her up and then they do normal human shit like eating and all ig...? (Idk where they are getting the food tho, ig Chompok can cook?)

And then they apparently talk and do more normal human stuff

Idk what these bitches are “talking” about... So I just kinda assumed they are having some Aurora x Philip ahh conversations throughout.... Roaming around the garden and shit who knows...

Then again by the evening he enchants her to sleep and goes to his hiding place on the tree 💀🤌

And the same shit happens like the day before. Rakkhosh gang comes does halla, buri rakkhoshi makes rajkonna do some slavery while the other rakkhosh(s) try to threaten her and eat her, they get scolded and again they fall asleep.

.......

This goes on for some days before Chompok is like

Chompok: girl how long are we gonna do this hide and seek from the rakkhosh gang? Donchu wanna be free???

Rajkonna: I do but it what am I supposed to do

Rajkonna: 😭😭🤌

Chompok: .....

Chompok: do one thing...

Chompok: pamper the old hag today and manipulate her to tell you how the rakkhosh party can die

Rajkonna: ok (⁠.❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

......

So that night when the bitch ass gang returns she does some extra seba and when the time comes fakes some tears (i can fake tears too 🗿)

Rajkonna: what will I do when you die? 🥺

Rajkonna: your kids are gonna kill and eat me 🥺😭💀

Rakkhoshi: ....

Rakkhoshi: lol girl rakkhosh people don't die like that we keep our pran bhomra somewhere seperate

Rajkonna: then where's it?? What if someone finds it???

Rakkhoshi: no one can find it 😌 (lmao wait you fucker just wait)

Rakkhoshi: see the pond right there? Yeah in the bottom if it there's a snail

Rakkhoshi: on that snail there are two beetles on top of it

Rakkhoshi: if someone is able to dive into the pond and bring out those in one breath and then kill those beetles then only we will die

Rakkhoshi: BUT not even a drop of blood should fall on the ground tho or a thousand more of us will get born

Rakkhoshi: but you don't worry no one can do that (overconfident much burima??)

Rajkonna: ok ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

And then they go back to sleep

......

Next day pookie cookie tells everything to Chompok and he's like “ok yeah go get a jar of ashes and I'll do what I need to do”

Bro dives in the pond brings out the beetles and then they hear a bunch of rumbling all over the forest and if those rakkhosh gang are running back to the palace.

Chompok tells her to spread the ashes on the ground so that the blood drops will fall on it and then he cuts the beetles in half bringing an end to all the noices and the rakkhosh gang.

And then overjoyed and glad the rajkonna is like

Rajkonna: MY SAVIOUR MY HERO! YOU SAVED MY LIFE!!! PLEASE MARRY ME LET'S GET MARRIED 🥹🥹

Chompok: umm... 👉👈 ok 😳🗿

(And that's how you get a girl people, now go kill some rakkhosh to impress her 🗿 jk jk lol)

So they do the Gandharva vivah just by doing mala bodol (that's how it was said there and it got me curious to do research and then I got to know about the different types of vivah in hindu scriptures)

.....

So everything is going fine they starts to stay in the palace all happy and newly married pookie cookie meow meow honeymoon phase etc etc (they are my blorbos my otp my lifeline whatever you say I love these two so much 🥹🤌)

But NOOOOOW coming to reveal the rajkonna's name.... She got really LONG hair and that's why they call her Keshoboti (idk if she has a birth name or anything lol)

One day darling Keshoboti was bathing at the ghat and a strand of her hair fell (girlie is experiencing hairfall for the first time smh smh) and she becomes sad... ): (ask us woman I experience hairfall on a regular basis)

So she ties that hair to a lotus and floats it in the river 💀👹

And guess where that bitchass hair floats to? TO THE GHAT WHERE SHOHOSRO BATHS 💀💀💀 (you thought you saw the last of him? well you were so wrong)

....

Shohosro while bathing notices that a randomass lotus floating weirdly and picks it up and then bro is like o.O because the hair attached to it is three hand long, and he's like “WHO IS THE NARI THAT GOT THIS LONG HAIR OMFG!?!?!”

Bro comes back but gradually becomes depressed and kinda obsessed wanting to know who that sundari is. And neglects going to court and eating and everything.

So now that bitchass sasuri maa is worried because her son-in-law is always locked in his room and doing nothing and falana dhimkana.

And she asks him and he is obviously embarrassed and doesn't want to tell his sasuri that he's obsessing over another unknown woman 💀🤌 (you nasty shit, this is the moment I started to hate on Shohosro because wtf bro) but tells her everything when she pressurized him.

So now that extra bitchass favourite rakkhoshi dasi is like moharani ik what's the solution just gimme a bunch of sweets and a boat and I'll to the trick.

Moharani blindly trusts her favourite maid (that's lowkey kinda gay ngl...) gives her the things she asked for.

.....

Now that rakkhoshi maid, takes the boat and does some blah blah montro jap and tells the boat to land at the ghat that sundari kanya baths 💀

And the boat does exactly that.

Once on the ghat, she calls for Keshoboti saying

Rakkhoshi: yo girl you remember me I'm your pishima

Keshoboti: ummmm...

Rakkhoshi: you have grown so much damn last I saw you, you were a baby (this single sentence was the scariest part of the entire tale fuck)

And my lovable dumb blorbo of a girl Keshoboti just believes her thinking maybe she doesn't remember anything cuz yeah she was a baby (why doesn't anyone got trust issues in this story??? 😭😭)

And that S.O.B Chompok also doesn't question anything like bruhhh

......

So now Chompok had a habbit of sleeping in the afternoon (bhat ghum supremacy Chompok knows that 🗿) but ig Keshoboti got insomania atp after deliberately being forced to sleep for so long... So she stays awake.

And on one of those days, the fake pishima is like “babygirl come to the boat with me I got some sweets for you, no need to tell your husband anything we'll be back before he even wakes up”

And that dumbass girl again trusts her and goes with her like bruhhhh 💀💀🤌

Once they are on the boat the fake pishima again does some montro jap and tells the boat to reach Shohosro's ghat.

.....

NOW the fucker is finally like “tf tf tf im being kidnapped omg omg hubby help!!!” and cries but it's too late lol 💀

So once back at Shohosro's place, the moharani is like “tell us who are you we won't harm you we just think you're very pretty so we'll keep you with us now” (MA'AM THAT'S CALLED KIDNAPPING)

But my dumbass of a girl is too busy crying and just rambles something about having a vrat for six months in which she can't speak about herself to anyone. So they just kinda keep her in a room, finding for a brahmin who can say the broto kotha for her 💀💀💀

.....

And back to my blorbo, Chompok is in shambles (chhan se jo tute koi sapna playing in the background). After he woke up and couldn't find Keshoboti anywhere 💀🤌

He's literally crying and searching for her like a madman for months atp. Bro even looks like a rastar pagol with stress and lack of haircut 💀 (again im not shaming anyone for their looks don't come at me)

.....

So in those months everybody tried to get words out of Keshoboti but FAILED because she was adamant on her demand for teh broto kotha.

So now as the six months are coming to an end, Keshoboti is getting worried what to do.

And Chompok in those months had reached that kingdom, looking like a mad dude. He hears some advertisement for a brahmin who can say Keshoboti's brotho kotha and he's like “wait...a min...” 💀

Then he basically sneaks to where Keshoboti is forced to stay and then they have an emotional reunion before he tells her he'd be back the next day with a plan and Keshoboti is again like “ok hubby (⁠.❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)”

.....

So next day the stage is set, someone is finally found who said they are gonna tell the broto kotha, and everyone is waiting with anticipation as Keshoboti comes and takes her sit, telling the dude to start his bok bok.

And then Chompok starts to say and BOIH DOES HE SAYS

Chompok: *ranting out his own life story* am I saying it right princess??

Keshoboti: perfectly correct! please continue

Chompok: *life story life story* is it correct so far princess?? (That's some odd flirting bro but im impressed)

Keshoboti: yes yes absolutely please continue

Shohosro: ....wait... excuse moi... OMFG THAT'S MY FOOKING BROTHA WTF WTF WTF

everyone else most probably: 🧍

.....

So yeah Shohosro finally realises that the brahmin in disguise is his chhoto bhai and gets too much ashamed because he had fucking held his brother's wife hostage for so long 💀💀 (good for you bitch cuz I already hate you)

Then everyone ask Chompok why he randomly disappeared from the kingdom and Chompok rats out the truth that moharani's girltoy (opposite of boytoy shut up) is a rakkhoshi.

And then rakkhoshi is like “ughh damn I'm exposed but whatever im gonna kill and eat everyone now” and starts to run towards Chompok

Then our local rakkhosh killer Shohosro pulls out his sword (no you dirty minded people not that go fuck) and SLAYYYYS the rakkhoshi.

And then everyone lives happily ever after ig...

Unless this bitches get their asses in trouble again 💀🗿🤌

.......

So... That's it. Amar kotha ti furalo note gach ti muralo...

Lemme know how you liked my all time favorite story hehe...

This story is really dear to me and I really really enjoyed doing this commentary explanation of the story too! :D

Also I think I should be banned from ever using the terms bitchass, randomass and weirdass lol...

[shark-s9q]

Big bro name: Balu shaku

Middle sister: Shika shaku

Youngest sister: Shina shaku Balu is a calm boy and kind to others and friendly

Shika is a kinda yell and can be identified as an ISFP personality type.

Shino is she has an indecisive and quiet personality.or sometimes she will be a cheerful , shy, nervous

🖤🇯🇵Balu shaku (oldest son in a shakuhouse)

Nickname: Balu

Age:(now)21

Hight:179

Weight:75 kg

Hobby: tell a ghost story ( he always tell a ghost story to his sisters when they going to sleep)😅

Favorite food:🍤 and green tea

💙🇯🇵Shika shaku( middle daughter in a shakuhouse)

Nickname: Shika

Age:(now) 18

Hight:165

Weight:46 kg

Hobby: science

Favorite food: Salmon

🇯🇵💜Shina shaku( youngest daughter in a shakuhouse)

Nickname: Shina

Age:18

Hight:165

Weight:46 kg

Hobby: Drawing

Favorite food: Mochi tea

@fizzyrockzz @peppperspray @apolalfa @sweetcherryworld

[cooltrainererika]

Hello! This is my second post for @hwsasiaweek ! …And it’s just a repost! Yaaaaaayyyy!

But yeah, I thought this story was perfect for Day 3: Folklore/Legends/Myths. This one stars Japan, my country!

I was planning to get another third fic out for this event, and I decided that until then I could just repost this old thing I wrote as part of a compilation. Hopefully it still holds up. Hopefully.

Alt-talia: Child of The Soil

Young Kiku loved exploring the mountains outside Asuka.

Here, the gods lived. It was the spirits’ domain, where they allowed the young boy to use as his playground; while he was already centuries old, he still explored it with innocent wonder befitting his eight-year-old appearance, but with a hint of familiarity. After all, this island’s forests were, in a way, his element as well.

They knew who he really was; the young personification of Yamato. Even without telling them, they knew. The spirits and gods themselves rarely, if ever, presented themselves directly to him, but he could feel their presence in the air among the familiar cries of insects, sometimes even their whispers to him.

He made his way to a less wooded, grassy clearing; the longest grasses, the types used by the people of Asuka to thatch roofs, were long enough for the little boy to disappear into.

It was then he noticed what seemed to be a slender, scaly tail poking out of the grasses.

Then, something started... rolling? Yes, rolling, and disappeared into the grass.

“Huh?”

Curious, the young boy trailed the mysterious creature as it made its way through the overgrown grass, trying not to rustle the grass too loudly or lose track of it.

Finally, the creature rolled towards a meadow where the grass was shorter in front of raised ground, and unfurled itself. From behind the grass, he observed it; it was a shaku* long… snake? But not just any snake; one with a strangely broad, almost flat midsection, its thin neck sticking out from one side and its tail out the other.

It was somewhat dopey-looking, yet he felt drawn to the strange creature, though he didn’t know why. It seemed strangely… familiar.

“Hello there?”

Kiku made a few small steps out of the tall grass, and just when he was over it, the snake bunched up like an inchworm, and…

It jumped.

The snake jumped up, several times his height, over the ledge.

His jaw dropped, aghast, stumbling back, almost falling back into the tall grass.

Then, it briefly stopped, looking back at him. It let out a high pitched “Chiii!” before crawling into the tall grass above.

“…Nozuchi?”

That was all he could whisper.

Was that…

That day, among the ringing melodies of Suzumushi crickets, Yamato thought he had met the grass spirit.

———-

Kiku didn’t know if he had imagined what happened that day.

Since that day, it - maybe goddess, maybe spirit, maybe mundane creature - and how it had looked back at him, as if asking him to find it, remained at the back of his mind. Its name changed over the years, as did what he believed its identity to be. However, eventually, only a few villagers shared his knowledge of the snake anymore.

Until, over a millennia later, a certain children’s book featured a hunt for that same creature, and as unreliable as his distant childhood memories could be, the memory returned to him clear as day.

And today, in his new Third-Generation Nissan Datsun Sunny as kayōkyoku and New Music played on the radio, his spirits moderately high from fresh economic growth, he had returned to that same place where he thought he had that encounter over a millennia before.

A small crowd had gathered there, mainly families, mothers and fathers holding lunches and cages, children with butterfly nets bragging about how they would be the first to catch the coveted snake. Some people looked at him in puzzlement, his lack of any children, girlfriend, or even friends making him very conspicuous among the gathering.

The place had changed quite a lot, but in some ways, it was still as it had always been. However, while it, of course, was of more significance to him than any other random mountain, forest, or village would be, he had far moved past these mountains, or Asuka, a long time ago, ultimately just one past home out of many. And it wasn’t even his first at that, though his earliest memories were almost entirely lost to the ether. Childhood to nations was, unlike for humans, not necessarily worth any more, nor any more notable than any other era they had been alive. And to him, Nara, his other childhood home two more moves later, was a much more important factor in who he was now than Asuka; even today, Nara remained a major city, and its name had come to encompass the entire prefecture. Yet here he was, back after all these years.

The group dispersed, and Kiku set off on his own as well.

He didn’t remember much about the place, and even if he did, physically every tree back then was no longer here; so he searched without direction, making sure as to minimize the sound of his steps as they met the ground.

Looking at his watch to see it was noon and feeling he could use a bite at the moment, he sat down on a tree stump in a small clearing for lunch.

It was then he saw a thin, familiar scaly tail poking out of the brush. One that seemed to suddenly widen.

Immediately, a small head popped out of the grass, biting its tail. And rolled.

He immediately put down his rice ball, almost choking on it, and immediately ran.

But there was no rustling, even if Kiku was too intent on following its apparent path to notice.

Soon, he found himself almost crashing into the face of a ledge, just higher than his height.

He looked around, up at the ledge, and sighed frustratedly.

It seemed the Tsuchinoko had evaded Japan again.

In a small clearing in a forest in Nara prefecture, a faint “Chiii!” mixed in with the ringing melodies of Suzumushi crickets.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shaku: An old Japanese unit of measure. Coincidentally, it’s roughly about a foot.

“Child of the soil” is a literal translation of “tsuchinoko”.

So yeah, if any of you are familiar with the Pokémon Dunsparce, this is what it’s based on! I wanted to share our little snek with the world.

The tsuchinoko is a Japanese cryptid that people often report sightings of but no one has truly found. I looked into it, and apparently there have been records of tsuchinoko-like creatures since as early as the Jomon period. In the Kojiki, they are said to be field/grass kami. So I decided that Japan should encounter it a bit before the Kojiki was written, in the Asuka period.

Apparently, they only became widely known to the rest of Japan in the 70s, after a book about tsuchinoko hunting was published, and it truly became a nationwide fascination when a manga about tsuchinoko was published. So it seems to have been this regional thing that became part of the wider folklore. But it truly has been with Japan since the very beginning.

Hope you enjoyed!

[shinsengumi-archives]

Kondo Isami [SHQ]

October 9, Tenpo 5 (1834)- April 25, Keio 4. Lived 33 years. Born in Kami-ishihara Village, Tama District, Musashi Province (modern Tokyo Metropolis, Chofu-shi) Tennen-rishin Ryu

Born the 3rd son of the farmer Miyagawa Kyuujiro. The 3rd generation head of Tennen-rishin Ryu, Kondou Shuusai (Shuusuke), anticipating and seeing his skill and promise as a swordsman, expressed wishes to adopt Isami when he was age 15. From then on, he studied kenjutsu at the Shieikan in Edo's Koishikawa (SEC take note: Koishikawa-- same place where Serizawa was imprisoned and where the Matsudaira lived in the Meiji era) district, and later taught as the Young Master ("waka-sensei"???, heard often, early on in the NHK drama). In August of 1861, he became the 4th head of Tennen-rishin Ryu at age 26. In reality, he was also head of the family. In February 1863, he joined the Roshitai with a group from the Shieikan, went to Kyoto and split with Kiyokawa Hachiro's group. Centering around support of Aizu, the Shinsengumi was then formed. Isami became its commander (Kyokucho). In 1868 (Keio 4), he was surrendered to the New Government Army at Nagareyama in Shimosa province. He was a Wakadoshiyori (Bakufu's Junior Council in charge of hatamoto affairs). Beheaded at Itabashi, his graves are at Ryuugan-ji in Itabashi, and elsewhere.

Assorted facts about Isami-sensei

-Childhood names: Katsugoro, Katsuta. Letter (?): Toushuu, Gaishi. Assumed names: Kondou Kuranosuke, Kondou Yuuhei (currently being checked for veracity), Okubo Yamato, and others.

Kuranosuke was his adoptive great-grandfather's name

-His name is read "Isami," not "Isamu."

-His birth family included his father Kyuujiro, mother Miyo, Older brother Otogorou, 2nd older brother Kumejiro (Kumezou). He had an elder sister too, but she died when he was very young. His mother also died when he was around 4 or 5 (Note: Much like Hijikata's family).

-He was a troublemaker when he was young, but is said to have never been mean to kids younger than him.

-His father loved military writings and raised him reading them. Among them, his favorite was "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms," and his favorite character was Kan'u (Chinese reading?). When his father would read, he would sit in his lap and insist "Kan'u is still alive!"

-When he was 15, there was a burglary when his father was away from home. His older brother wanted to put his kenjutsu training to good use, but Isami stopped him, saying "A thief is all wound up when he enters. He'll let his guard down when he leaves, so that's a better time to try doing something." As the thief left, the two of them leapt out and scared him-- making the thief drop what he'd stolen and run away. The brother wanted to chase the thief, but Katsuta said "A cornered mouse will bite a cat. Let's let him get away and just get back what he stole."

This story circulated very fast, and when Kondou Shuusai heard it, he immediately knew that he wanted this boy to be his successor.

-Even though he looked frightening, you could see dimples when he laughed, and he was generally a kind person.

-His favorite sword was a Nagasone Kotetsu Okisato, 2 shaku 3 sun, 5 bu. It's said it was a fake.

COMMENT: I have a book published by William Hawley on Kotetsu the sword maker, and it's said that Kondou's sword was a forgery, made by the greatest swordsmith of the period, Minamoto no Kiyomaro, and signed with the Kotetsu signature by the master signature-forger Hosoda Heijiro. Apparently even Kotetsu himself had trouble telling fakes during his own lifetime-- as evidenced by his quote upon looking at a forgery: "The signature is mine but the blade is not."

-Other swords he liked were Mutsu-Miyoshi Nagamichi, Banshuu-Fujiwara Munesada, and Miyoshi Michinaga. The details can be found in "Shinsengumi Touchishiki" ("A Shinsengumi Miscellany" http://www.toshizo.com/nozoku/index.html).

-His head was displayed in Kyoto at Sanjo-Kawara (NOTE: same district as Ikedaya). After that its location became unknown, but today, people are trying to figure out what happened. -His body's fate is also unknown, but two very strong possibilities are that either it was buried in his grave at Ryuugan-ji in Mitaka (in Tokyo), or at the Monument for Consolation of Spirits in front of Itabashi Train Station.

The execution of Kondou Isami

One of the major reasons why Kondou was executed was due the belief that the Shinsengumi were responsible for the murder of Ryoma Sakamoto. Tani Tateki of Tosa was one of the strongest supporters for the beheading of the former Shinsengumi chief. Please see page 19 of Hillsborough's book to read Tani's own words.

The following rough translation was provided by Shimazu Masayoshi "We here transcribe the words of a notice posted at Itabashi-juku on the 25th of April:

'KONDOU ISAMI. This man was a former ronin, who later worked as commander of the Shinsengumi in Kyoto. Returning to Edo he changed his name to OKUBO YAMATO, daring to rise up in arms against the Imperial army in Koshu, and at Nagareyama in Shimosa. He has received secret orders from the Tokugawa house, which is guilty of insubordination to the Court. Therefore we order his decapitation. FOURTH MONTH." [source and scan]

Kondou's remains are at Aizu [pic] (present day Fukushima Prefecture)

It is still debatable if his hair or head is part of this memorial is at Aizu.

Additional Reading:

The Farmers of Edo and the Warriors in Kyoto

More details on Kondou can be found on our TIMELINE too.

[simply-shakera]

Embodying Black Joy

Before Black History Month 2021 comes to an end, I want to take this moment to reflect on how significant this time truly is. Although my belief is that Black History and culture should be celebrated throughout all months of the year;  for now, I do believe it is important that we continue to utilize this time to acknowledge the historical feat against monumental odds that Black people have been able to achieve. It is the responsibility of the current and future generations to take what we have learned and keep the momentum going. It is also necessary for us to utilize our talents and gifts to uplift those around us.

As a natural caregiver, I  nourish the people around me by creating and sustaining a community of care, joy & connection. Carnival Spice has allowed me to complete much of this work and I am truly grateful for that. Typically in February months I see an increase in Carnival Spice bookings due to Black History Month. Our most popular offering during this time is our family-friendly cultural presentations that highlight Black culture using dance, fitness and story telling in such a unique way.

I feel so full-filled when leading these presentations - especially when it is for our school-aged groups. Seeing kids of all ages so excited to learn and embrace the richness of Afro-Caribbean culture really motivates me to keep going. I particularly appreciate how engaged they are in the experience and the high vibrations they exude. Though all of our presentations were virtual this year, you could still feel their energy and joy through the screen.

"The most radical and revolutionary thing we can do for ourselves is to connect to joy and to allow ourselves to feel. That is how show up positively in the world and complete dissolve ancestral trauma."  -- Devi Brown

Joy, that deep-rooted inner feeling that inspires that outward expression of happiness... But Black joy goes far beyond that. Black people have contributed so much to this world yet sadly the way we as a people have been treated does not reflect that. Racism, social injustice, and trauma runs rampant plus there isn't enough spaces that allow for healing. Thankfully, joy is a form of healing; and while society often condemns Black people for being "too loud", "too angry" or "too much", revelling in joy is an act of resistance too.

Engaging in Black joy sends a message to your mind and spirit that you are worthy, you are important, and you are loved. We should make a habit of taking inspired action to bring joy into our lives. I put together a few light-hearted lists for you that may help you engage in Black joy daily:

The Beauty of Affirmations

I believe the universe has the power to align us with people, things and experiences that match our vibrations. It is important for us to keep our vibrations high to increase the opportunity of positive attraction. Practicing the act of repeating and affirmations (positive statements) is a powerful way to strengthen our mindset by helping us believe in the potential of an action we desire to manifest.

I encourage you to write out an affirmation related to joy and set it as a as a daily alarm on your phone. When the alarm goes off repeat the statement out loud and be present in the moment and positive energy.

Listen To Music

Music is a powerful tool that unlocks joy. From the beat, to the lyrics, to the melody certain parts of songs just know how to hit our soul. I created a playlist with a mix of feel good songs from different eras and genres - take what you'd like:

Can’t Take My Joy by Terri Lyons

My Dream by Nesbeth

Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See by Busta Rhymes

The Anthem by  Todd Dehaney

Blessed by Wizkid and Damien Marley

Beat of Life by Sarz ft. Wizkid

Jerusalema by Master KG ft. Burna Boy

Skip To My Lou by Ding Dong, Serani & Biggy

Just Dance - Wacky Dip by Ding Dong feat. Voicemail

Go Crazy by Chris Brown

High Life by Machel Montano

Full of Vibes by Voice &  Marge Blackman

Lose Control by Missy Elliot - ft. Fat Man Scoop

Happy by Pharell Williams

Dance Heals

Dance truly does heals and it is such a positive way to embody Black joy. Here are some of my favourite dance moves from the African Caribbean Diaspora - taken from popular genres such as afrobeat, soca, dancehall and hip - hop.

Shaku Shaku (Nigeria)

"Although the dance is credited to Olamide, the truth is that he is not the inventor of the dance. But he played the major role in the crossing over of the dance to the mainstream media. The dance originated in the streets. According to DJ Real, Shaku Shaku name is for street guys, and the dance was named after their particular style of dances when they are hanging out" - Source. The move involves crossing one arm over the other and bringing that same arm toward the ear as if you are making a phone call.

Palance (Trinidad)

In 2010, the world was introduced to the song and dance that is palance. The song by JW and Blaze ’s popularity was established when it took the "Road March" title at Trinidad’s Carnival that year where it was played along the parade’s judging route 417 times.The move involves jumping side to side on one foot at a time while waving yuh flaggg. Back then, soca song's weren't known for having dances - so palance truly broke the mold. We have even seen Beyonce and Justin Trudeau do it.

Krazy Hype (Jamaica)

This mid school dancehall move will always be one of my favourites. It was created in 2003 by choreographer Crazy Hype from the The MOB Dance Group to Elephant Man hit song of the same name. The move involves hopping from side to side but landing on your heels.

Harlem Shake (Us)

The dance was created by Harlem resident Al. B. in 1981. However, in 2001 the dance resurfaced and was renamed when it featured heavily in G.Dep’s music video for the song "Let's Get It". When you hear this song one can't help but get to shakin'.

Enjoy A Movie

Get your laugh on or enjoy a flick that makes your heart smile. While your at it, support a Black art! I have helped you out by compiling a list movies that exude Black Joy.

Soul (2020)

Critics Consensus: A film as beautiful to contemplate as it is to behold, Soul proves Pixar's power to deliver outstanding all-ages entertainment remains undimmed.

Synopsis: A music teacher who dreams of performing jazz live finally gets his chance, only he travels to another realm to help someone find their passion, he soon discovers what it means to have soul.

Soul Food (1997)

Critics Consensus: Much like the titular cuisine, Soul Food blends a series of savoury ingredients to offer warm, generous helpings of nourishment and comfort.

Synopsis: This hit domestic comedy-drama concerned the fortunes of an extended African-American family recalled through the eyes of young narrator Ahmad Hammond.

Love and Basketball (2000)

Critics Consensus: Confident directing and acting deliver an insightful look at young athletes.

Synopsis: A young African-American couple navigates the tricky paths of romance and athletics in this drama. Over the years, the two lead characters begin to fall for each other, but their separate paths to basketball stardom threaten to pull them apart.

Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit (1993)

Critics Consensus: Sister Act is off-key in this reprise, fatally shifting the spotlight from Whoopi Goldberg to a less compelling ensemble of pupils and trading its predecessor's sharp comedy for unconvincing sentiment.

Synopsis: In the sequel to the hit comedy Sister Act, Whoopie Goldberg reprises her role of Deloris Van Cartier, a Las Performer. It appears Deloris is needed in her nun guise as Sister Mary Clarence to help teach music to teens at a troubled school in hopes of keeping the facility from closing at the hands of Mr. Crisp (James Coburn), a callous administrator.

[polaristranslations]

Chapter 3 - The First Generation Maniwa Chouchou

This is a story from when this country was a warring country, when times were troubled times.

◇　　　◇

1

◇　　　◇

No one, including Maniwa Chouchou himself, thought that the ninja would ever be elected as one of the Twelve Chiefs of the Maniwa Ninja Corps. It wasn't that he was incapable, nor was it that he didn't have a following—but there was one quality that Maniwa Chouchou decisively lacked as a shinobi.

And that quality was his physique.

He was—a huge, hulking man that everyone looked up to.

He was well over seven shaku tall, reaching almost eight shaku, with legs that were conspicuously long and arms that were much longer than the accepted norms.

Even from a distance of twenty jou away, Chouchou could easily be recognized, and even in a crowd of two thousand people, Chouchou could easily be recognized.

In a manner almost too weird to be true—

His body was large.

If he had been a samurai, he might have attained greatness.

In fact, there was not a single member of the Maniwa Ninja Corps that could match Chouchou in a simple comparison of strength—but ninja were not beings that simply compared their strength.

Rather, a ninja was someone who hid. Someone who lurked in the shadows.

Someone who concealed themselves.

On the battlefield, his huge body—it could be a weakness and could not become a weapon.

"Well, some things you just can't do anything about—I just have to resign myself to this fate. And it's not like I can hate this body that my parents gave me. Being sturdy is my only saving grace, so I'll carry out my tasks as an underling as best as I can,"

he would say.

As such, he was not so desperate about his circumstances—about his disadvantage.

Maniwa Chouchou was a pleasant person.

For that reason, there were quite a lot of people that lamented the fact that he lacked the qualifications to become one of the Twelve Chiefs from the start—and while the one who called herself the observer of the Maniwa Village, Maniwa Kyouken, wouldn't say she lamented it, she was also among those that felt it was unfortunate.

So when she was assigned an unusually active mission by the village's current head, Maniwa Houou, she decided to take Maniwa Chouchou along with her, even though she could have accomplished it on her own—and doing so may have been a manifestation of those feelings of her.

As a result.

That action of Kyouken's, which was almost a flight of fancy, would drastically change the fate of Maniwa Chouchou, but—

◇　　　◇

At a late hour.

Two shadows were running through the craggy mountains—no, they were moving at such speed that their shadows couldn't even be seen.

In the first place, they weren't even running on the ground.

What they were running on—were the overgrown trees.

Without breaking a single branch or scattering a single leaf—as if they were one with nature, cutting through only the wind—the two of them ran.

Maniwa Kyouken and Maniwa Chouchou.

Maniwa Kyouken—a shinobi looked like a young girl with tattoos all over her body, but in reality, she was the observer of the Maniwa village, and, in a sense, she was a veteran authority with perhaps even more influence than the head, Maniwa Houou, himself.

Maniwa Chouchou—who'd been placed in unfortunate circumstances due to his overly long arms, overly long legs, overly long torso, and overly long body—that body that was much too big for him.

The two of them—were running in lockstep.

Of course, with the small Kyouken and the gigantic Chouchou, their paces were entirely different—to be precise, there was more than three times the difference between the two, and yet Kyouken made it seem as if that difference didn't exist—you could say it was, perhaps, a difference in experience.

They...

Were returning—from the task they'd just completed.

"...Tch! Ah, damn it, those guys sure are persistent—!"

In a manner which was unusual for her, Kyouken grumbled as she looked behind her.

Of course, that didn't mean she physically turned.

She simply—searched for presences to her rear.

"How far do they plan on following us, jeez."

"S-sorry, Kyouken-san, because of me—"

Chouchou began to speak in an embarrassed tone—of course, neither of them slowed their pace as they talked. If anything—they were speeding up even more.

"—Things became like this."

"Ha—"

Kyouken laughed. She—forced a laugh.

As if ashamed of herself for grumbling.

"—It's not your fault at all. We just happened to be unlucky this time—"

Their task.

At least for the task itself—they'd succeeded.

However, that was just a matter of course—when it was Kyouken herself that went out to do it, there was no way the task couldn't be successfully completed.

She possessed the ability to accomplish any task on her own. The term "being a match for a thousand" may as well have been made for her. It was almost as if she needed no training or practice—as if the longer she lived, the stronger she became. That was the kind of ninja that Maniwa Kyouken was.

Even now, it was not out of necessity that Kyouken was accompanying Chouchou, but out of concern for him, who would be ruminating on his own disadvantages even more as a result of the current election of the Twelve Chiefs—and Chouchou himself knew that very well.

Though he thought it was an unnecessary concern.

However, more than the concern himself, it was the fact that it was unnecessary—that made him happy.

He had nothing but gratitude towards Kyouken, who was going out of her way to meddle like this.

—However...

—Someone like me... is really...

The problem had arisen just after they had completed their mission—in a completely unrelated location, by chance, by sheer coincidence—Kyouken and Chouchou had been discovered by shinobi from their rival force, the Aioi Ninja Corps.

—No.

—It wasn't by chance—or by coincidence.

And it wasn't that they had been unlucky, either—and Chouchou knew that very well.

There was but one reason they'd been discovered—and it was Chouchou's gigantic body.

Kyouken's (current) small stature, perfect for reconnaissance, would have never been discovered—and even if she had been, it would have been nearly impossible to tell from appearances alone that she could possibly be a shinobi from the Maniwa Ninja Corps.

But it was different for Chouchou.

Chouchou had an unorthodox appearance that made others suspect who he was, just from a single glance—and if he was looked at with such suspicion, it wouldn't be long before his identity was revealed.

They didn't have the option to drive back the enemy.

Choosing that option would end up interfering with the mission they'd just completed—they needed to get as far away from the scene as possible, and they couldn't leave even a trace of combat. Even though they had always been enemies, now was not the time to be fighting with the Aioi Ninja Corps.

But, of course, the other side didn't know that.

If anything, the more they tried to avoid conflict, the more the Aioi Ninja Corps would try to press further.

Hence—their current situation.

"Ten people, huh? It's even more than before. They're multiplying like rats. Ahaha, maybe they're actually popping out some kids?—"

This time, in a manner that was more usual for her, she mixed in a joke—but even so, Kyouken's expression showed signs of impatience.

"If only I could kill all ten of them in an instant—but I guess that's impossible. Chouchou-chan. Maybe you can do it with your Maniwa kenpou?"

"With my kenpou?"

Chouchou responded.

"My kenpou isn't really designed for one-on-many situations—and even then, in this situation, I don't know if I can kill even one person."

"Ah, is that so."

Kyouken didn't seem too discouraged.

It was as if she were saying, there was no point in despairing even further in this situation—but in other words, it meant that they'd been cornered by that much.

"It doesn't seem like there are any kunoichi among the enemies, either—oh dear, oh dear. Don't tell me your Kyouken-nee-san is gonna be retired from her post here? What a surprise."

Laughing self-deprecatingly, Maniwa Kyouken ended up breaking one of the branches she stepped on.

Chouchou saw it happen.

The situation was bad—bad enough that Kyouken would break a branch.

—No—that wasn't it.

—Actually, it shouldn't have been that bad.

While the situation was pretty bad—it wasn't at its worst.

"—Well, even so, I still gotta keep you alive somehow, Chouchou-chan. Don't worry, if it comes to it then I'll be the one to hold them back. If the only thing you find is my corpse, I'm sure you can cover it up somehow—"

"Kyouken-san, please don't say that!"

Chouchou.

Resolved himself—and spoke.

Quietly, but affectionately.

"A shinobi as good as you, killing yourself to let me live—to let an underling like me live? That's not what a ninja should be doing."

"...Chouchou-chan."

"Why aren't you ordering me to die right here? Without me here, whether there were ten pursuers or a hundred of them, you would be able to annihilate them in an instant."

It wasn't a heartless choice.

If anything—it was the natural decision to make, considering the Maniwa village.

Without even needing to order Chouchou to die, and without even considering Chouchou's own will, it would've been just as fine for Kyouken to cut off his head with her own hands.

He didn't want to be underestimated.

Even if he didn't have the qualifications to be one of the Twelve Chiefs—even if he was only half as good as any ninja—he still had the resolve to die.

"...Don't tell me to kill a comrade of mine,"

she said.

Maniwa Kyouken—spoke in a sulking tone, for some reason.

It was the first time she had shown—or, at least, the first time Chouchou had seen—behavior befitting her young girl's body.

But it was just for an instant.

Maniwa Kyouken soon returned to her usual sarcastic expression as an observer of the Maniwa village and said, "But it's true, you make a fair point."

She continued.

"In that case, let's do this. Chouchou-chan—change of plans. We'll split off into two. I'll get the pursuers to follow me, and you take the looooong way round back to the village."

"Eh—but that doesn't give you any less of a burden. It just makes me safer. Even though there's no meaning to me surviving in this situation."

"There is a meaning. It'll make me feel good when fighting."

Kyouken replied clearly.

"I'm the village's observer. When it comes to the Maniwa village, nothing about it will feel like a burden to me—and it won't mean that you'd be completely safe, either. If I end up letting even one of our pursuers escape—then you're gonna have to be the one to fight them. In an instant—faster than anyone else."

Faster than anyone else.

Those words—lingered in Chouchou's mind, strangely enough.

But, in any case, there was no time to argue back—in the first place, Chouchou had no intention of going against Kyouken's words.

If he had an order, he'd have to obey it.

In fact, Chouchou was so happy about the change in strategy that prioritized his own safety—that he was almost brought to tears.

—Even though...

—Even though I thought my tears had dried up long ago.

Though he thought there was no shinobi in the Maniwa Ninja Corps that would shed tears other than "Tearful Kuizame".

He was surprised to find such humanity in himself—and meanwhile, without even needing to agree.

Maniwa Chouchou moved his gigantic body—and broke away from Maniwa Kyouken's movements with the speed of a strong gale.

◇　　　◇

Maniwa kenpou.

In the Maniwa village, a settlement of shinobi, there were few people who mastered this martial art, which could even be considered a first-class school of traditional art. And Maniwa Chouchou worked as the assistant instructor of it.

No matter how much he trained his ninjutsu, he knew he would never be able to surpass the others. In that case, he aimed to improve his skills by making the most of his physique.

It was a good fit.

Now, he possessed the ability to be considered one of the best kenpou practitioners in Japan—you could even say that he was good enough to contend with a ninjutsu user.

It certainly wasn't suited for one-on-many situations.

However—if it were one-on-one, he'd probably be able to show off some of his ability.

He had no intention of losing to anyone one-on-one.

However, it was rare for a shinobi to face a situation in which they'd be fighting an enemy one-on-one—no, rather. It could even be called a disgrace for a shinobi to face a situation in which they'd fight an enemy one-on-one.

Cutting their way through many at a time.

Or perhaps, overwhelming many at a time.

That was the proper practice of a shinobi.

Furthermore—in the first place, a shinobi must have already made some kind of mistake if they find themselves in a situation where they must face an enemy.

A perfect shinobi—would never have their hostility exposed, never have their attacks noticed, and never even make their victims realize that they'd been killed.

That's how it was.

That's how it should be.

For example, the most eccentric of the Maniwa Ninja Corps—Maniwa Shirasagi, the most eccentric of the eccentric, with no one, not even Houou and Kyouken, understanding him at all—always stood on the front lines, concealing nothing and exposing everything while in combat, and yet the true nature of his ninpou was still unknown.

Although, as it was, that sort of personality wasn't the sort that would necessarily get chosen as a chief—

—If I'm able to return to the village safely.

—I'll need to think a little bit about my future.

No, not just a little. A lot.

He was going to think a lot.

About half an hour since he'd parted ways with Kyouken—it was those thoughts that ran through Maniwa Chouchou's head as he continued to run without so much as a pause to catch his breath.

If things had gone according to plan, then Kyouken should have already annihilated the Aioi Ninja Corps pursuers by now—at the very least, there was no one coming after Chouchou.

Of course, he couldn't slow down—but for now, perhaps he could feel a bit of ease.

But even so.

Maniwa Chouchou was not the sort of happy-go-lucky man that he could shake off his feelings of regret or remorse.

Surviving after being covered for by a respected leader of the village—that was shameful for a ninja.

Even though he had pledged to be an underling for life.

In the end—he couldn't do even that.

If he had been the subordinate of Kuizame, then it would not have been strange if he'd been killed on the spot for "disturbing the peace and order".

He wasn't just not suited to be a chief, but not suited to be a ninja at all. Well, that was something he knew as soon as he'd grown up with such a gigantic body—something he knew very well—something he knew very very well—and that's why.

The only thing he regretted now was that he did not kill himself when his height grew past six shaku—

"...Anyway, let's just think about getting back to the village. Even if I don't do anything myself, I'm sure Houou-sama will deal with me in some way, so all I can do is resign myself to that."

Right now, I don't even have the right to die.

Then, in that case—I'll carry out my work as an underling for the rest of my life.

As he thought such thoughts, Chouchou kept on running—and then.

And then, all of a sudden, his feet stopped.

"............?"

There was no way he'd stopped because he was tired.

If anything, he was a man with several times the physical strength of an ordinary shinobi. As evidence, despite running for so long, he was not the slightest bit out of breath.

But.

He stopped, because—he felt a strange presence.

"...Oh yeah. This area was an animal trail, wasn't it. Kyouken-san did say that bears might appear around here—"

He carefully looked over his surroundings—and it seemed that Chouchou decided that the presence he felt seemed to have come from an animal.

Of course, he wasn't going to let his guard down just because it was an animal—this deep in the mountains, animals were perhaps even more trouble than the pursuers, and something that he should exercise great caution against. But even so, he was relieved.

And, in the moment he felt relieved.

"............!"

He heard—a sound.

No.

There were probably no more than ten people, Maniwa Chouchou included, that could even recognize that as a sound.

On your own.

It would only be after you made that same sound from your own body thousands, millions, billions, trillions of times—that you'd be able to recognize that as a sound.

He didn't spend any time thinking.

Chouchou's legs, naturally, turned in the direction of the sound—it couldn't be far.

His heart pounding once again—Maniwa Chouchou descended from the treetops and ran in a straight line, without even hiding his footsteps, forgetting all his circumstances, hesitation, and burdens for just this moment.

And.

Just as he expected—it was there.

Just as he had envisioned it, it was there.

There, in a naturally open clearing in the middle of the mountain—the form of a man that was wholeheartedly yet recklessly yet single-mindedly making spear hand strikes.

The sound of a hand cutting through the air.

Quietly—resounded.

It resounded again and again.

"...Hm?"

With that.

The man noticed Chouchou.

He hadn't been hiding his presence—but even so, he had a huge body anyway, so no matter what he was in the midst of, there was no way he wouldn't be noticed when he approached.

The man looked at Chouchou, wearing shinobi attire cut off at the shoulders, and chains wrapped all over his body.

And he said.

"Haha. It's the first time I'm seeing someone bigger than me—you're incredible."

And laughed amiably.

This was the first time that Chouchou, born in a village of shinobi, was ever praised for his physique—and this was the fateful encounter between the Maniwa Ninja Corps genin, Maniwa Chouchou, and the founder of Kyotouryuu, Yasuri Kazune.

◇　　　◇

2

◇　　　◇

The founder of Kyotouryuu, Yasuri Kazune.

But of course, at this moment in time, he was nobody at all—he was but a mere practitioner who had not earned any military honors or achievements.

A practitioner—and a martial artist.

He was in the middle of a mountain retreat.

However, despite this war-torn world, for him to be training alone in such a remote place, silently, without participating in the war—that alone made him a nonconformist of considerable strength in the eyes of Maniwa Chouchou.

It was as if he had no interest in the world at all.

As Kazune continued his actions, as if he only found value in training his own body—Chouchou forgot everything else and gazed at him.

Normally, he should not have been doing that.

Chouchou's top priority right now should have been to return to the Maniwa village—he didn't have the time to be making a detour, much less come to a stop entirely.

Even though Maniwa Kyouken put her life on the line to allow Chouchou to escape—what was he doing, to not respond to the spirit of those actions?

He could hear himself asking those questions.

And yet.

If he just walked away now after coming across this man—Chouchou felt like it would be an even bigger betrayal.

A betrayal against Kyouken? Or a betrayal against the Maniwa Ninja Corps?

Or, even before that, a betrayal against his own body?

It wasn't clear to him.

But he hesitated for just a moment.

And then Chouchou stopped thinking entirely—and just followed his heart.

And charged—right at Yasuri Kazune.

◇　　　◇

There was no need for words.

There was no need to speak.

There was no need to listen.

The battle began naturally, as if they had made a promise to do so quite a long time ago.

Maniwa Chouchou headed towards Yasuri Kazune.

And Yasuri Kazune—received him with a delighted smile.

They didn't even know each other's names yet.

If anything, they didn't even know "what" the other party was. It was that sort of unidentified, indistinct situation.

Nevertheless.

They perceived each other as similar beings—as two of a kind.

And they faced off.

"Chei!"

Chouchou's first attack was faster.

Kazune had a considerably large body as well—but, as he'd said himself, it was a physique that was inferior when compared to Chouchou's. His stature was obviously smaller—but even when it came to the lengths of their arms, Chouchou's was overwhelmingly, ridiculously overwhelmingly, on the larger side.

And that long arm twisted like a whip.

Maniwa Chouchou's fist—headed for Kazune's face.

He covered a terrific amount of distance.

It was a fist of certain death that came flying in from so far—that would throw off one's sense of distance.

"Ha—"

Exhaling in such a way, Kazune repelled that fist upwards.

He didn't avoid it or receive it, but repel it.

That action—could be the proof of his absolute confidence in his own body. He was strongly convinced that, no matter the attack, it would not be able to come close to destroying his body, which had been forged like steel.

Chouchou—was pleased.

Strange as it may seem, he was incredibly pleased that his fist had been repelled.

Nothing made him happier to know that someone with such confidence was right in front of him.

To add to his joy, he tried to lunge from a distance with his other hand, this time as a spear hand—but Kazune would not allow it.

No, it was more than that.

He—went for the arm he'd just repelled.

He grabbed his wrist—and, in one go, used his weight to pull him down.

—A joint lock!

That came out of nowhere!

If his elbow was destroyed, then the battle would be decided then and there, and that wasn't what Chouchou wanted. As he was pulled down, Chouchou jumped—and, faster than Kazune could act, he rotated his body in midair, buying time for the joint lock to be applied.

If there had been anybody spectating, they surely would not have been able to hide their surprise at Chouchou's instantaneous movements—not one person could have expected that Chouchou would be able to move his gigantic body with such agility.

But to Chouchou, these were just normal movements.

A movement like this was just a way to buy time.

Not to mention—he'd only earned a second.

That was all it was.

However, even one second was enough.

For Maniwa Chouchou, one second was worth five thrusts.

And Kazune must have sensed something in his gut, because he immediately let go of Chouchou's arm—but instead of thoughtlessly trying to distance himself from Chouchou, he instead moved in even closer.

This wasn't close-quarters combat anymore.

It may as well be called contact combat.

In theory, his action was the correct one to make—because of Chouchou's long arms and long legs, and because his range was just too wide, it was more correct to draw in closer rather than move farther away. Although, the difficulty of the act of drawing in closer was unimaginably high—but Kazune performed it as if it were a perfectly natural procedure.

And then, at that distance.

At that short distance—marvelously, Kazune aimed for Chouchou's face and sent out a kick.

It was an attack that could only be allowed by a frightening degree of flexibility and explosive power.

There was no way to dodge it.

It was a kick from a completely unexpected direction.

In fact, never in Maniwa Chouchou's life—had an attack actually come for his head. So there being a slight delay in his reaction was something that was unavoidable.

However, even so, it wasn't like he couldn't do anything just because he reacted late.

If he couldn't dodge—then before they collided.

Before that attack collided.

Chouchou instantly folded his long arms and smashed his elbow into the kicking leg with an inside turn.

An elbow strike.

But it wasn't even something as skilled as that.

If anyone other than Chouchou had done it, it would have looked like a move made out of desperation.

With the elbow that he'd just barely freed from the joint lock, he'd intentionally use it in a move that could potentially break it? It was foolish even among foolish acts.

And he wasn't just repelling the attack, but rather boorishly aiming for their attacks to collide—recklessly using what was the hardest point on the human body was not in the slightest bit befitting of a shinobi, but a defensive move purely made from the perspective of a kenpou practitioner.

—No.

—I probably—can't call this a defensive move, either.

In the first place, there was no such thing as defense in Maniwa kenpou.

All they had was to be constantly attacking.

Attack before being attacked—that was the basic approach, and being ahead of the curve was the beauty of it.

As such, if you happened to be attacked first—then the basic approach was to attack whatever was attacking you.

That was the beauty of it.

—A shinobi, talking about beauty?

—If you ask me, it's kind of stupid.

The move resembling an elbow strike against the kick—was successful.

By deliberately shifting the moment of impact, he'd managed to minimize the damage to his elbow and arm, while the opponent—his shin had been injured.

In fact, Kazune had groaned,

"Oof... Kh!"

and pulled back his leg.

However, even noticing that fact was careless.

The leg that he'd pulled back didn't touch the ground—and instead came whirling back around towards Chouchou's body.

It was a feint to make one let their guard down—but it was probably true that his shin actually did hurt. But to use that injured body part immediately after for a follow-up attack—

A follow-up attack.

This time, the target was not the head but the torso.

He completely took it.

That force seemed like it was enough to pierce through his insides.

If anything, the impact was as if he'd been cut by a sword—and for a moment, Chouchou was enveloped in a vision of his torso having been cut to pieces.

"Gh—"

"Kyotouryuu—'Sarusuberi'!"

Kazune's voice.

Kyo-tou-ryuu?

Was that—the name of his school of martial arts?

Just as Chouchou came to that understanding—the move had already been sent out.

Of course, being distracted by the name of the school couldn't be an excuse—it was rather that the attack had once again come at Chouchou from an unexpected direction.

Chouchou's stance had drooped slightly after taking the attack to his torso, and the attack came for his jaw—as if this sequence of actions had been choreographed from the beginning, the heel of Kazune's palm flew up from below.

Despite being a movement that went against the pull of gravity, it still held overwhelming force.

The impact lifted his body off of the ground—but the force was as if he'd been slammed into the ground.

He barely had time to feel the pain.

In an instant, he fell unconscious.

But just before he fainted, Maniwa Chouchou had managed to perceive his own defeat—not a defeat as a shinobi, but a defeat as a kenpou practitioner.

Despite his conviction that he'd never lose in a one-on-one fight, the only pride he'd built up so far had been destroyed.

And yet.

Oddly enough—he didn't feel too bad about it.

◇　　　◇

"Hey, you're awake. Here, drink this."

As soon as Chouchou woke up, the first thing thrust at him was some sake.

And not in a cup or a bowl—but an entire sake barrel.

Almost bursting into laughter at the tremendousness of it, Chouchou picked himself up off of the ground—and, accepting the barrel, he lifted it up and drank from it with loud gulps.

Sake to resuscitate him—no, that wasn't it.

If anything, it was sake to fortify him.

"It's good. How did you get your hands on something like this, deep in the mountains?"

"A fortune teller that I happen to know likes to drop in from time to time—well, he's a weird guy. I'm usually bad with sake, but this one's different."

"Uh-huh. A fortune teller."

"Yeah. I think he also said he was a swordsmith, but to me it's all the same. By the way, I'm Yasuri Kazune. Who are you?"

"I'm Maniwa Chouchou."

"Maniwa. Ah, a ninja."

"Unfortunately, I haven't heard the name Yasuri before—who do you work for?"

"I'm just the prodigal son of a family close to the Tetsubi family of the six feudal lords. It doesn't matter if you haven't heard of it. I'm just a good-for-nothing that can't even wield a sword properly."

"Me too—I'm not really someone you could describe as a ninja."

Chouchou smiled bitterly.

And so did Kazune.

The battle had only lasted a short amount of time—nothing but a few exchanges of blows.

However, as a result, the two men seemed to understand each other as if they had been talking for hours.

Sometimes, a single blow of the fist spoke more eloquently than a few billion words.

At the very least—that was how Yasuri Kazune was to Maniwa Chouchou.

"Hahaha."

Laughing, Kazune brought out another sake barrel—and began to drink from it with a tremendous sound.

"It's true that what you did just now wasn't ninjutsu—just normal martial arts. It's impressive that you've trained your body to such an extent within human limits. As someone who shares the same will as you, I have nothing but admiration—I thought I'd be the only one doing this kind of stuff nowadays. By the way, your movements seemed pretty unique. Is it your own style?"

"I guess you could say that. It's called Maniwa kenpou. It's a form with a lot of history, but it's a little too old—a little too rustic, a little too antique. It needs to be adjusted for the present times—but there's no other weirdo who'd go and do something so bothersome. Well, seeing as I'm just an underling that isn't assigned any particular task, at least I have a lot of time."

"History, huh? That's a word that that fortune teller might like—or wait, did he actually hate history? I forget. I just don't really know about that guy at all."

He set down the sake barrel.

"But really, I have to thank you," said Kazune. "Because of you, I managed to think of another special move. No, rather than a special move. Once you get into that area of things, you may as well call it a secret technique. With the fastest possible movements, attack before being attacked—the method of getting ahead of the ahead should be an invincible technique. With the meaning of an attack that you can't avoid even if you see it coming, I shall give it the name of 'Kyouka Suigetsu'.

With this, Kyotouryuu has come one step closer to completion—he said.

Kazune spoke happily.

Innocently, and earnestly—so there was a person that pursued his path like so. Chouchou felt a bit strange.

Aha, it was what Kazune had mentioned before.

He'd thought—that he was the only one doing such a thing.

"You sure are weird—speaking of nowadays, that goes for you too. A mountain retreat is pretty behind-the-times now, isn't it? While you were off doing something like this, the war's gone and ended. Did you know about that? Right now, this influence called the new shogun—"

"I know. A famous person from Shikoku, right? It's putting my family in a bit of a spot—I'll probably have to end up returning from the mountains in the near future. But now is not that time. My development of Kyotouryuu is still in progress."

"Kyotouryuu, huh."

It had a nice ring to it.

He didn't know why he felt that way, but it sounded like the name of a work of art.

"Anyway, the Maniwa Ninja Corps—who are they following now?"

"Dunno—we change who we work for all the time. There are even times when we act as both friend and foe, and I don't really get that stuff. It's possible we're even hostile to your family, the Tetsubi family."

"That would be interesting."

Saying that, it seemed Kazune truly did find it interesting, as he laughed heartily.

"If that's the case, then we may as well have had a war by proxy just now."

"Ho. Then it would be the Tetsubi family that came out victorious—haha. As long as it wasn't a battle between allies."

"Of course not."

And then Chouchou—stood up.

He stretched that gigantic body of his to the air—bending forwards, then backwards. Checking his condition.

"You're going?"

asked Kazune with a smile, not reluctant to see him go.

"Yeah. I was in the middle of a task."

"I see. I was also in the middle—of training."

"I should be the one to thank you. The truth is, this task will probably be my last."

"Your last?"

"Yeah. Not my first and last—but my last and final. Because, despite being a ninja, I'm not suited to being a ninja at all. This huge body gets in the way, and I can't carry out my work properly. Even today, I was just holding one of my comrades back—so I kept thinking that there was no reason for me to keep being a ninja."

"Haha, what's with that? How stupid."

Though Chouchou opened up with his concerns, Kazune just laughed it off.

In an extremely refreshing way, he laughed it off.

"The world is what you say it is, Maniwa ninja—and so, you shouldn't speak of what you can't do. Don't speak of yourself in the negative. Speak of yourself in the positive. All you need to do is master your kenpou, and then claim that that is your ninjutsu."

"......"

"I can't wield a sword—I don't even know how to hold the hilt. But no matter what, I'm not gonna go and say that out in the open—I'll keep that fact to myself for the rest of my life, as something that only I know about. Instead, I'll insist that these arms and these legs—that this entire body of mine is my sword. You can't do it? That's wrong. It's that you don't have to do it. What tiger is ashamed of not being able to breathe in the water? You should introduce yourself in an additive way, not a subtractive way. If you can't use a sword—your whole body can simply become the sword."

That—is my Kyotouryuu.

Yasuri Kazune—stuck out his chest and declared so.

"Well, I said all that all self-importantly, but I'm just repeating the words of that weird fortune teller—haha. Well, the negative thing about this is that it's from a bungling fortune teller, so you can't really rely on it, but apparently I'm a swordsman that will change history. Isn't that something? But if that's all, then it's kind of stupid. At that point, rather than changing history, I may as well be a swordsman that creates history."

"...Yeah. Then, I'll become a shinobi that can destroy history."

He didn't even need to say it—by that point.

By the point when he had exchanged blows with Kazune, Maniwa Chouchou had already stopped thinking of this task as his last—or, rather, this task would become his first as a ninja fistfighter.

After returning to the Maniwa village.

First, he'd bow his head to Kyouken and Houou.

However, he wouldn't say any words of apology.

Instead, he'd start talking big—he'd start speaking of pipe dreams that even Maniwa Kuizame would be ashamed to speak of.

"Maniwa Chouchou. Will the next time we meet be on the battlefield?"

"Who knows? However, if that time comes, then prepare yourself. My Maniwa kenpou is still in development. Don't think that today's victory will be all."

"If you're going to say that, then even Kyotouryuu is still incomplete. It will be completed in the near future, but as for when it is completed, when it is truly and utterly completed—when it is concluded, that may not be until much further in the future. Perhaps it may not even be possible in my generation."

"That will be true for Maniwa kenpou, too. I'll take this old, moldy school of martial arts—and improve it further and take it to future generations. To future generations, and perhaps to future eras."

And.

He didn't know if it would be a hundred years, or even two hundred years in the future.

"When the day comes that a user of Maniwa kenpou and a user of Kyotouryuu end up meeting again—I'm sure it will be an exhilarating one."

◇　　　◇

Afterwards, there were quite a few more twists and turns before Maniwa Chouchou would end up elected as one of the Twelve Chiefs—at the very least, it didn't go smoothly. However, at his own request, and with the fierce encouragement of Maniwa Kyouken, he became the first kenpou practitioner in the history of the Maniwa Ninja Corps to stand in the position of chief. Even after becoming one of the Twelve Chiefs, Chouchou continued to improve upon Maniwa kenpou and finally perfected it to a point where it went beyond ninjutsu and could be used in any situation, including in one-on-many battles. Even so, he continued to apply himself diligently, saying that it was only completed, but not concluded.

Whether it was bad luck or just fate, Maniwa Chouchou and Yasuri Kazune did not have a chance to meet again, not even in battle—so the rematch between Kyotouryuu and Maniwa kenpou would have to wait for perhaps another six generations.

[self-loving-vampire]

I do have some thoughts on this, broken down by point:

On the first point, androgyny is definitely a trait these characters tend to have but I'd emphasize that it is not sufficient on its own. There are androgynous characters who don't fit the archetype.

(This is also putting aside my personal aversion to gendering fashion/behavior, I do understand that other people do that and that it's a social perception thing.)

That definition of gallantry is different from the one I would use, however. I see gallantry as being sort of like "exemplary and virtuous behavior". Speaking in Ultima terms, it would describe someone who displays a good measure of the principles of Truth, Love, and especially Courage.

Instead, what you are describing here is called Sprezzatura, described in the dictionary as "graceful conduct or performance without apparent effort".

You know that character type who is so far above the others that they do incredibly things smoothly and with ease as if it was just mundane to them? The ones that come off like they are ancient vampires because of how prodigious everything they do is? This is the quality that makes them come off that way. They don't just succeed, they do so without breaking a sweat, and that makes you imagine just how much more they may be capable of and how powerful they truly are.

For example, consider this story about the genius prodigy John von Neumann, copypasted from Wikipedia:

In this puzzle, two bicycles begin 20 miles apart, and each travels toward the other at 10 miles per hour until they collide; meanwhile, a fly travels continuously back and forth between the bicycles at 15 miles per hour until it is squashed in the collision. The questioner asks how far the fly traveled in total; the "trick" for a quick answer is to realize that the fly's individual transits do not matter, only that it has been traveling at 15 miles per hour for one hour. As Eugene Wigner tells it, Max Born posed the riddle to von Neumann. The other scientists to whom he had posed it had laboriously computed the distance, so when von Neumann was immediately ready with the correct answer of 15 miles, Born observed that he must have guessed the trick. "What trick?" von Neumann replied. "All I did was sum the geometric series."

I admit I'm no John von Neumann, but as a narcissistic genius who was always well ahead of peers I have some personal experience with the effect this quality has on others.

With regards to point #2 I am not entirely sure. Some prince characters (including some of the most famous ones) are devoted like that but I don't think it's a universal thing. For example, Toyosatomimi no Miko is even an actual prince yet not unusually devoted to either people or ideals.

So I think devotion is something that maybe gets you some Prince Points depending on context but it's not strictly required.

And about fashion: I do agree that elegance and style are the main thing that separates the girl prince archetype from the more normal tomboy characters but also feel like suits alone just don't have the same aesthetic.

For one, they're not a very direct signal of a character being princely since they're not actually rare for normie, non-princely women in certain professions to just wear in real life. Like, my homophobic conservative mother sometimes wore them just because she was a lawyer and a politician, and my father also wore them just because he was a business administrator. They're not "prince" clothes specifically, they're just rich/respectable person clothes.

There's overlap between those but if I saw someone wearing a suit then "prince" does not readily come to my mind as a description of them, and I don't think it should either given that such a person is likely to just be some kind of office worker or something. That's just business wear.

Also worth noting that Miko doesn't really adhere to that sort of fashion either, instead displaying her position through things like her cape, her shaku, and her famous sword.

So yeah, it's kind of a messy category and as you say not all characters fit these standards perfectly, but I still think it's a decent effort to define what the standards are.

some of you people don’t know what a prince is

[12-3amproductions]

Hachishakuma (Japanese Urban Legend)

Hachishakuma, also known as “eight feet tall” in Japanese, is a Japanese urban legend about a tall woman who abducts children. The story below speaks for the urban legend itself. Could this woman be a spirit or something much more evil? We will find out in today’s article.

Description:

She is 8 ft (approximately 2.43 m) tall, wears a long white dress and makes a sound like “Po...Po...Po...Po...Po...” when she is coming for you or somewhere near you. This is a famous story about a girl who barely escaped death from her.

Story:

My father's family home was just a little under two hours away by car from where we lived, a small village surrounded by farmland. I often stayed with my grandparents during my summer vacation and winter breaks from school, and they were always happy to play with me... but the last time I visited them was over ten years ago now, when I was still in my third year of high school. It was my Spring break and I had been invited to visit; and since the weather was good, I rode my bike out to their house.

After I got there I was a little cold, so I stretched out for a moment in a warm sunny spot off the road. Then I heard something strange...

"Popo, Popoppo, Po, pop ..."

It wasn't a mechanical noise; it sounded strange... but human. I looked about to see where the noise was coming from, and saw a white hat peeking over the top of the hedge. The hat moved along to a break in the hedge, when I could see that it was being worn by a woman with a white dress. She had to be tall, though; the hedge was over two meters high (six feet). Before I could really think about this much, the woman was gone, seemingly disappeared. The strange sound was gone too. At the time, I just guessed that the person's apparent height had been due either to wearing very tall platform shoes, or that it had been a man dressed up like a woman. Odd, but that was all.

A little later, while having tea with Grandma and Grandpa, I mentioned the strange person I had seen and that I thought it was a transvestite... but when, as an afterthought, I also mentioned the strange "po, po, po" noise, my grandparents panicked. My Grandpa suddenly showered me with questions: "when did you see this?!," "how much taller than the fence?!," "Did they look AT you?!". I answered as quickly as he asked, then he rushed to the phone in the hallway, shutting the sliding door so I couldn't hear the call. The room was suddenly very quiet. Grandma smiled a little, but was trembling for some reason. Grandpa came back soon, and told me I would be staying overnight with them. I had to admit that I didn't understand what the fuss was about, and asked what was so bad about the strange woman. Grandpa said "Grandma can tell you." He then looked at her and said he was going to pick up someone named "K-san" and then left.

In a clearly shaky voice, Grandma said: "It seems that Hachishakusama has become interested in you... but we shouldn't worry. Grandpa is making arrangements." Grandma then told me, a little at a time, that Hachishakusama was not a person; she was some sort of monster, named Hachishakusama because of her height... 8 shaku [Japanese foot, about 11.9 inches] tall, "hachi" [8] "shaku" [foot] "sama" [person]. Her appearance could change somewhat -- sometimes young, sometimes old but she would always be abnormally tall, and would always have a creepy laugh... "Po Po Po."

Once Hachishakusama took an interest in a person, they were hunted to death in just a few days; and the last known victim of Hachishakusama had been fifteen years previous.

I learned later that Hachishakusama was supposed to be trapped in a shrine near the village, having been sealed in by four statues of Jizo, a protective deity of children, each placed to the north, south, east, and west of the structure. The village had some sort of agreement with it's neighboring villages, wherein they were given some advantages to make up for the fact they had to watch over the monster... for example, they got first priority on water use. Since it had been over a dozen years since Hachishakusama had killed anyone, I have to wonder if the old men in those villages thought it was still a good arrangement.

At the time I couldn't quite believe what I was being told, of course; but then Grandpa returned with a very old lady. K-san, for that's who it was, handed me a small paper charm and told me to hold onto it. Then she and Grandpa went upstairs. While they were upstairs, I tried to excuse myself to use the bathroom... but my Grandma wouldn't let me go alone, and she insisted on keeping the door open and an eye on me as I was using the facilities. This is when I started to really understand just how serious my grandparents felt the situation was.

I was soon led upstairs to a bedroom. The single window in the room had been covered with newspaper, on which a charm like the one I was holding had been affixed. In each corner was a small pile of Morishio -- sacred salt -- and they had also set up a small wood box with a statue of Buddha on it. I was told I would have to stay in the room until seven the next morning, and that I couldn't leave no matter what (they provided a bucket for me to potty in!). Grandpa made it clear that neither he nor Grandma would talk to me until seven the next morning. K-san told me to keep the charm on me, and to pray to the Buddha if I got scared.

I had a bed and a TV in the room. Grandma had left me snacks. I tried to watch some TV, but couldn't pay attention. I wasn't hungry, either. So I just lay one the bed, wrapped in the sheets, and eventually fell asleep because the next thing I remember was waking up to a late night show on the TV. My watch said it was around 1AM. And I heard something tapping on the glass of the window.

I tried to ignore it. It was very persistent. I had some tea and a snack, and turned up the TV to drown out the tapping. Then I heard Grandpa call from the hall, "Are you alright? It's okay to come out if you're too scared." I started for the door automatically, but stopped myself as I remembered how insistent Grandpa had been that he wouldn't talk to me until seven. Again I heard him: "It's okay, come here." I wanted it to be my Grandpa's voice... but somehow it wasn't. I suddenly had goosebumps all over me; then I noticed the salt in the corner. It was becoming darker.

I dropped in front of the Buddha,clasping the charm in both hands, and started praying for help. "Popoppo, Po, Popo ..." The tapping on the window started again, louder than before, more insistent. Then a definite hand slapped the window... despite the fact I was on the second floor. I did the only thing I could; I kept praying to Buddha.

It was a long night. I really don't remember much other than praying until I heard the news on the TV. I looked over, and the morning clock on the news screen showed it was 7:13AM [Garth note: all Japanese TV channels show the time onscreen during morning programs]. The tapping had stopped. The voice was gone. The salt in the corners was almost black. I gingerly opened the door. Grandma and K-san, both looking worried, were there. Grandma, in tears, told me things were going to be okay.

Downstairs I found my father waiting. Grandpa came in from outside, and we needed to drive off... outside, I found there was a number of men standing around near a van. My Grandpa's car was in front of the van, and my father's was behind it. I was seated in the middle of the van with eight of the men sitting around me; one to each side, and then three in front and three in back. One more man took the driver's seat, and K-san took the passenger side of the front. I was told to keep my eyes closed, and my face pointing down. "You are the only one who can see Hachishakusama... don't look at her!"

Our convoy started off, slowly at first. I don't think we had even traveled 20 kilometers before K-san warned us things were about to get hard... then she started to chant phrases that sounded Buddhist. And then I heard the laugh again: "Poppopo, Po, pop, Popopo ..." I clutched the charm to my chest and kept my head down, but couldn't resist a quick peek at the window; that was a mistake. I could see a white dress. It appeared stationary to the car's window, even though we had to be moving very fast at that point. The figure moved as if to lower its head to the window, and I gasped... and the man next to me told me to shut my eyes, which I did, and tightly.

Though no one else could see Hachishakusama, they all heard what happened next: the tapping. I don't know how, but the tapping started on every window in the van, all at the same time. I don't know how long it lasted but, over time, it faded. K-san had stopped chanting by that time as well, and eventually said that she felt we were now safe, so the cars all pulled over. My father and Grandpa thanked all the men who had assisted; as it turned out, all of them were related to me. Grandpa and K-san had hoped to confuse Hachishakusama by surrounding me with many people of the same bloodline. I had to stay overnight while Grandpa was gathering my kinsmen, and it was deemed safer to try to escape during the day than the night.

K-san asked me to show her the charm which I had forgotten I was still holding; it had turned almost entirely black. K-san commented "it should be alright now, but just in case..."; and with that she handed me a new charm to hold until I got home. I drove home with my father. During the drive, he told me that one of his friends when he was young had been taken by Hachishakusama. Grandpa and the neighbors delivered my bike back to me later.

In talking to my Grandpa over the phone, I've confirmed that it was not his voice I heard outside the room that night (which sent shivers down my spine again). Hachishakusama targets teens and children... so if the monster speaks with a familiar relative's voice, the victim would normally come to it willingly. I'd almost forgotten this all after ten years. Grandma called to tell me that one of the Jizo statues that had sealed Hachishakusama into the shrine looked as if it had been broken by someone; the statue that was broken lined up with the road leading to our home.

Two years ago my Grandpa died; sadly, he left strict instructions in his will that I was not allowed to attend his funeral. My grandmother called me a few days ago, she told me she was diagnosed with cancer. She missed me terribly and wanted to see me one last time before she died.

“Are you sure Grandma? Is it safe?”

“Its been 10 years,” she said. “All that happened a long time ago. It’s all forgotten. You’re all grown up now. I’m sure there won’t be a problem.” 

“But... but what about the Hachishakusama?” I said.

For a moment, there was silence on the other hand of the phone. Then I heard a deep masculine voice saying:

“Po...Po...Po...PO...PO....PO...”

A game:

In September, 2014, the fifth installment in the game series Fatal Frame was released in Japan (Fatal Frame: Maiden of Black Water). As its premise Fatal Frame takes players out ghost hunting, so every game is full of spooky characters... and in this installment of the game was a strange lady only called the "tall woman" and who was simply described as an 'urban legend.'

Conclusion:

Alright so we understand her weird laughter: “Po... Po... Po... Po” and her ability to abduct children. That could only be done by a powerful demonic entity. Something like a seal may have been broken (similar to stories behind most horror shows like Annabelle or The nun). 

The reason why she always choose children as her victims is because children are dependent on their family members and are very curious in nature, making them fear easier than adults. This makes them easier to deceive as the entities are able to mimick the voice of their family members and feed on their fear.

Well, we all know demons feed on fear and the ability to take one’s life explains how strong the demon is in terms of power. When one demon feeds on the soul of someone, it makes them stronger, more confident and give them the ability to sustain in the living world, longer. 

Hopefully we are able to cover the stories of different demons and their origins soon.

We have come to the end of the article. If you like it, do remember to like and reblog it. Thank you for support, we will see you in the next article! God bless you =)

[theladyinthegraveyard]

                                 HACHISHAKUSAMA

It is a famous Japanese urban legend, sometimes very similar to that of the much more famous Slenderman. It is not an ancient legend, but it is modern, spread in Japan at the beginning of 2008. The main difference with Slenderman is that Hachishakusama is a woman. It is very high, in fact its name means "the lady from the 8 feet of height" In Japanese, "hachi" is the number 8, "shaku" is an ancient unit of measurement (corresponding to about 2 and a half meters) and "sama" is an honorific suffix. Just like Slenderman, this woman kidnaps children, who do not return home. The story is told by a 20-year-old boy who tells of his encounter with this creature when he was only 8 years old. During the summer his parents took him to his grandparents' house in the countryside. As one afternoon he played in the garden he heard a strange sound coming from behind a hedge. it was a sound very similar to "po - po - po", a low, disturbing and repeated sound. The child noticed that a lady's straw hat was visible above the hedge. It seemed very strange to him that a woman could be so tall, so he turned the corner to better see who the mysterious person was, and his suspicions were confirmed. He saw before him a very tall woman, who after a few seconds disappeared in front of his own eyes. Returning to the house from his grandparents he found them intent on drinking tea and being upset told what he had seen. Grandparents turned pale, asked for details, what had happened, where he had seen that woman and if he had talked to him. The grandfather then made a phone call and before leaving the house he recommended to his grandmother to stay near his nephew until he returned home. The child, even more frightened, asked who that lady was and why Grandpa was so agitated. The grandmother then told him that the woman he had seen, called Hachishakusama, was an evil spirit who went in search of children and when he found one, kidnapped him and took him away condemning him to certain death. The grandfather had gone out to look for a witch who could deceive the spirit. The witch in fact ordered the child to stay closed in his room and not to go out for any reason. Before leaving him alone he placed 4 cups of salt at the corners of the room. He advised the child never to leave his room, not to open the door and to wait for the morning to come. During the night, the child began to feel that syllable "po - po - po" again in the corridor. Immediately he heard the voice of his grandfather on the other side of the door asking him if everything went well and if he was afraid, because he could keep him company and protect him. The only thing the child had to do was open the door. The child approached the door but noticed that the salt in the cups had turned black. He realized then that this was not really his grandfather, but just a trap. The night was long, but the child never opened the door. When the morning arrived, the boy opened the door and found his grandparents there, happy to see him safe and sound. The witch, who had remained in their company, said that she was not entirely out of danger and that the child would have to leave the country of her grandparents immediately and not return. The hachishakusama, once identified his victim, would not have given up. The child ran away from the village together with his grandparents, in order not to return and to avoid the fate of being kidnapped by the evil spirit. There are several endings of history, but this is the best known: grandparents forbade the child, now become an adolescent, to visit them and his grandfather wrote that his nephew would not even have had to attend the funeral. For the boy, his grandfather's decision was not easy to accept. After 10 years, knowing that her grandmother was seriously ill, he asked her to visit her in person for the last time. Grandma at first answered no, but the boy insisted that so many years had passed, that he was now an adult and had the desire to greet her. Grandma accepted, agreed to see each other, but before hanging up the phone call, greeting her grandmother's voice changed tone, to warp and become just a syllable "po - po - po ..." 

Image: random picture I found on the net, credit to owner.

Note: I really like Japanese urban legends. Plots are so simple yet so scary and spooky! :) 

[aion-rsa]

Yasuke: The Real History Behind Japan’s Black Samurai

https://ift.tt/3e2tnz1

Yasuke is a groundbreaking new anime that fuses fact and fiction. The six-episode original series streaming on Netflix now is the brainchild of comic artist and animation director LeSean Thomas (Cannon Busters, The Boondocks). The titular role in Yasuke is voiced by Oscar-nominated LaKeith Stanfield (Sorry To Bother You, Knives Out) who is also one of the producers. Yasuke comes from Japan’s animation house MAPPA (Maruyama Animation Produce Project Association) who also produced noteworthy animes like Attack on Titan, Rage of Baphomet, and Punch Line. Grammy-nominated artist Flying Lotus (a.k.a. FlyLo) provides the soundtrack and is also another producer.

Yasuke is somewhat in the same vein as Afro Samurai or Samurai Jack in propelling an iconic Samurai figure into a rich fantasy world. 

“It just sits right alongside Afro Samurai and Samurai Jack,” acknowledges Thomas, “They’re going to be compared regardless because those are the only three that are being pushed to the Western entertainment. So, it’s inevitable.”

However, where those two were set in alternate futures, Yasuke takes in an alternate past. 

Yasuke combines bots, mechs, werebears, and sorcery with actual Japanese history. There was a real historical figure named Yasuke. He was a Black samurai who lived in the late 1500s. His story is somewhat murky, but there are still some important things we do know about the legendary warrior.

The Real Black Samurai

The real Yasuke lived during Japan’s Sengoku period (1467-1615) when the country was torn by feudal war. This was the glorious era of samurai, Japan’s legendary military nobility. 

Many of the exact details of Yasuke’s life history are muddled. Yasuke is mentioned in passing in a few different accounts chronicling his time in Japan and there are a few images of a dark-skinned warrior in period paintings that are assumed to be him. The most significant reference is a surviving journal that was kept by a samurai contemporary to Yasuke named Matsudaira Ietada (1555-1600). The journal, known as the Ietada Nikki (Nikki means ‘diary’), documented Ietada’s experiences from 1575 to 1594. Ietada describes Yasuke as standing “6 shaku and 2 sun (roughly 6’ 2”)” and that his “skin was black like charcoal.” Thomas used the Ietada Nikki as a jumping off point for the anime.

“There are only the diaries that are mentioned and even those are interpreted,” says Thomas. 

The dates of Yasuke’s birth and death, as well as his country of origin, are unknown. There are many theories about his nationality. Some theorize he hailed from Ethiopia, Mozambique, or Sudan. Yasuke opts for the Yao people of Southeast Africa, which is a valid theory. The ‘Ya’ in Yasuke may have been a Japanese phonetic translation of Yao and ‘suke’ can mean ‘assistant’. 

Yasuke landed in Japan in 1579, an event that is dramatized in Yasuke. He came to Japan in the service of Alessandro Valignano (1539-1606), an Italian Jesuit missionary who was among the first to propound Catholicism to China, India, and Japan. After arriving, Valignano and Yasuke travelled to Kyoto to pay respects to Oda Nobunaga (1534-1582). 

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Nobunaga is one of the most colorful feudal lords of Japan. History paints him as both champion and villain – champion for being the ‘great unifier’ of Japan and villain for the brutal bloody path he cut across the country to unify it. Nobunaga was open to free trade during a time when Japan was traditionally dismissive of outsiders. He was fascinated by the outside world and was known to dress in foreign attire and preferred European red wine over rice wine. When Nobunaga met Yasuke, he was convinced that his skin had been dyed with ink and ordered him to be stripped and washed. Once he discovered that Yasuke was indeed Black, he took great interest in him and by some accounts, gave him some money.

Yasuke takes liberties with this story. After all, there were no bots or mechs in the 16th century. 

“Since Yasuke doesn’t have an owned estate, no one owns his character – his story was up for interpretation,” Thomas says. “And for me, by the time Flying Lotus came on board, I knew I wanted to tell a story that was removed from history so that we can create a new action hero and celebrate him through this adventure story.” 

Instead of travelling with a missionary, Yasuke arrives in Japan in the service of a European trader. He meets Nobunaga by chance as the warlord is examining the trader’s wares at the docks of a Nanban trade port. Nanban trade refers to a period when Portuguese merchants and missionaries landed in Japan in the mid-16th century. Portuguese sea trade was prevalent at that time. 

In the anime, Nobunaga is impressed by Yasuke after witnessing him in a street fight where he demonstrates great honor. The incident of Nobunaga having Yasuke washed is reenacted, and then Nobunaga takes him on as a retainer. History is unclear about exactly when the real Yasuke entered Nobunaga’s service. However, Yasuke may have been Nobunaga’s only non-Japanese retainer and perhaps for that reason, he was one of Nobunaga’s favorites. 

Ninjas Like Snake Eyes

The narrative of Yasuke jumps back and forth through time as it retells its titular hero’s backstory under Nobunaga. Yasuke is depicted as having a pivotal role in the Tensho Iga War in 1581. With their unusual face masks, the defenders of Iga resemble Snake Eyes from G.I. Joe, a nod to animated ninjas. Historically, some 10,000 Iga defenders fought off 42,000 of Nobunaga’s troops using fierce guerilla and stealth tactics. These warriors became the foundation of ninja legends in this region. Famous among them was Iga ninja leader Hattori Hanzo, who is also referenced in Yasuke. If the name Hanzo rings familiar (and you are unfamiliar with ninja history), it’s because Tarantino poached it for Kill Bill. In that film, Hanzo was the sword maker played by veteran Japanese action star, Sonny Chiba. 

It’s not clear if the real Yasuke participated in the Tensho Iga War, but given his timeline, it’s certainly plausible. He is documented as fighting for Nobunaga in the Battle of Tenmokuzan the following year. It was after that battle when Yasuke met Ietada who documented it in his journal. Yasuke was present at the Honno-Ji, the temple where Nobunaga committed seppuku. In the anime, Yasuke serves as Nobunaga’s kaishakunin – the person appointed to behead whoever is undertaking seppuku. No one knows who Nobunaga’s kaishakunin really was, but by some accounts, Yasuke was charged to deliver Nobunaga’s head and sword to his son, Nobutada. 

Ritual Suicide and Sacred Beheading

In cinema, as in this anime, seppuku beheadings are graphic. However, it was a sacred ritual that required an exceedingly difficult cut. That cut is still practiced, just in case, by contemporary practitioners of Iaido, the art of sword drawing and cutting. Given the hallowed nature of seppuku, a head skittering across the floor is tacky. The kaishakunin’s cut must be exact. It must sever the spine but not the windpipe, so the head falls gently into the lap. One of the last recorded instances of seppuku was by acclaimed writer Yukio Mishima (1925-1970). His kaishakunin failed three times attempting to make that final cut, and another had to take over. 

Following the incident at Honno-Ji, the true fate of Yasuke is unclear. Yasuke did join Nobunaga’s son Nobutada, but that didn’t last long. Nobutada was forced to commit seppuku that same year. Some accounts allege that Yasuke was captured and exiled to a Jesuit mission in Kyoto. There is a story about him fighting for the Jesuits in the Battle of Okitanawate in 1582, but that is his final chapter in the history books. Yasuke takes place twenty years after the Honno-Ji but given that the anime has him battling giant robots, such liberties are allowed. 

To Be a Samurai is To Serve

Despite being fantasy, Yasuke captures the essence of samurai culture well. The most notable digression is how Yasuke is constantly berated by other samurai about his servitude. The word ‘samurai’ derives from saburau, which means ‘to wait upon’ or ‘accompany,’ essentially ‘to serve.’ The legends of samurai being great warriors eclipses their fundamental role as servants to their lord. Not only did samurai serve as swordsmen, but they also performed more mundane tasks for their lords like tax collecting. 

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That intense dedication to servitude, a commitment to the death, is what made them legendary. Throughout Yasuke, the titular hero honors this ideal of servitude to Nobunaga, and to others, which preserves the core samurai principle. The only awkwardness is that other samurai wouldn’t berate him for such behavior. They would respect that because it’s a goal to which they all aspire. 

Yasuke has been depicted in movies, books, and anime before. Last year’s African Samurai: The True Story of Yasuke, a Legendary Black Warrior in Feudal Japan by Geoffrey Girard and Thomas Lockley was a scholarly documentation of his life. And there are some children’s books including Kuro-suke by Kurusu Yoshio and Yasuke: The Legend of the African Samurai by Jamal Turner. 

In 2017, Lionsgate began developing Black Samurai, which was originally to be scripted by Gregory Widen (Highlander). The project progressed with Doug Miro (Narcos) replacing Widen under a cooperative effort between Erik Feig’s Picturestart, Mike De Luca’s De Luca Productions and Stephen L’Heureux’s Solipsist. Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther) was cast as Yasuke but production ceased with his untimely passing. 

While fantasy, Yasuke pays homage to one of history’s most remarkable warriors. This fortifies this anime’s depth. Not only is it an entertaining introduction to a glorious piece of history, Yasuke has heart. It captures the spirit of an outstanding real-life hero who is often overlooked and brings him to an entirely new audience with dignity and honor.  

Clearly, Thomas’s Yasuke is entertainment, not a history lesson. However, he’ll be delighted if it brings more spotlight to one of the most intriguing samurai warriors of all.

“Even through Covid, we worked really, really hard with all the restrictions and limitations and voice acting. I’m just really happy that we got it done,” he says.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Yasuke is available to stream on Netflix now.

The post Yasuke: The Real History Behind Japan’s Black Samurai appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3e1k9mx

[zeherili-ankhein]

Hey, could you tell me what Kirnamala’s story is because I was not able to understand Wikipedia’s version 😭

The actual ‘Arun Barun Kiranmala’ story right??? 😭😭

Yeah don't go to wikipedia it's shit there, and that serial thing also exist so not good

This is actually my favourite Thakumar Jhuli tale I love it sooooo much Kiranmala is a fucking Queen, she'd always be my favourite girl.

Now get ready cuz this post is gonna be LOOOOOONGGGG

Also trigger warnings: mention of infanticide... Kinda? and bitchass peoples all over, killing those bitchass people and swearings.

So the story is kind of simple, it starts with the King (like any other tales)

The king was out one day, roaming around the city in disguise to know what people's problems were and stuff and hears this three sisters talking with each other.

The eldest said how she if she married (I forgot what she said sorry TvT) she'd be the happiest

The second one said that if she married the royal cook she'd be the happiest

And the youngest said, she'd be the happiest if she married the king himself and became the queen (lol! confidence gurlie confidence) and the others laughed at her

.......

So the king leaves after hearing everything, and next day he calls for the sisters to his court. Now obviously the sisters are scared shitless cause whytf was the king calling for them... So they go to the court

And king dude asks them to say what they were talking about last night, and the older two fearfully tells him. But the youngest gets obviously embarrassed and scared thinking she's gonna get punished. So the king reassures them, that they'd get what they had wished for.

So yeah oldest sis got married to her man of dreams and the middle one also married the cook. And king dude married the youngest one and made her the queen (I mean that's some really impressive rizz game he got tbh 🗿💀)

Now they are married and should be happy just as they wanted right? Yeah no lol then how would the story progress...

.......

So some years pass and the queen is now pregnant and the king dude, makes a diamond studded gold gold marble room for her to give birth (what do you call that? In bengali we say Atur Ghor)

And now queen requests him to let her sisters visit cuz she was missing them and wanted them to be present in the Atur Ghor and be her midwives. And the king agrees cause he couldn't deny anything to his wife.

But but but when those sisters came to the palace, they were in awe of how luxuriously their sister was living as the queen, and grew jealous.

So now the queen gives birth to a beautiful baby boy and the what the sisters do? Puts him in a jar, stuffs his mouth with salf and cotton and floats him in the river 💀 (like the audacity!!!)

The king asks what happened and they reply with that the queen had given birth to a puppy 💀 and shows him a new born puppy.

He just stays silent, obviously heartbroken wondering what happened...

So next year the queen is again pregnant and the sisters again come, she gives birth to another beautiful baby boy and they again stuff his mouth with salt and cotton and puts him in a jar, again floating him in the river 💀

The king again asks what happened and this time they reply she gave birth to a kitten showing him a kitten fetus thing and he again stays silent wondering how all thus was happening.

Third year same shit, a baby girl is born and the evil bitches again puts the cutie in a jar and floats her in the river like her brothers... :(

And shows the king a wooden doll, a literal freaking wooden doll 💀💀

.....

This time the king sits in despair and his people tells him, the queen must be some bad omen, alakshmi, a monster since the same thing keeps repeating every year, and he wonders it mist be true she must be some witch or something.

The people tells him, he should throw her away and he decides he'd do that and actually throws out poor queen :( out of the kingdom, not before the people publically shames her and all.... Yk the typical beizzati karna... 💀

And those evil psycho bitches happily go back to their own houses.

......

Now this side, a brahmin was bathing in the river when he noticed a jar floating. Not just any jar but a jar with a baby crying in it. So he hurries to get the jar and sees a beautiful godly baby boy in it. He washes all the salt and stuff and brings the baby home with him.

Next year he sees another jar, this time another beautiful baby boy in it and yet again he brings it home with him

Again same things happen the following year and he sees another jar, this time a beautiful baby girl in it, and he as usual brings her home with him.

Since he had no kid he adopts the trio as his own and decides to raise them.

AND THE ARE THE ICONIC TRIO — ARUN, BARUN AND ✨KIRANMALA✨

......

The kids grow up under his care, and they were like dev shishu, beautiful talented brightening the whole house.

Since they came in his life, the brahmin became RICH. Like good crops, more than enough milk from the cow, and everything. He became successful. They were like his lucky charms.

So now the kids are grown up and they are exceptional in everything, the bestest children anyone can ask for 😌 They take care of the house, learn scriptures from him and does everything, helps others and animals, looks good (yes ik this is propaganda)

One day brahmin calls them and caresses their head, telling them to live properly and happily and a lot more emotional stuff and... dude... dies... 💀 (ahh sadness we love you)

So Arun Barun Kiranmala becomes sad and cry that their father is dead and decides to follow the instructions and live harmoniously together.

.......

So back to daddy dearest king, he's in dispression for all this years thinking his kingdom must be cursed or something, and decides he'd go for hunting.

But when he was hunting, some shit happens... Sky lord got angry and made a hell lot of storms and rain, practically ruining his little kitty party and making him lose his way.

Next day he's roaming around looking for any house because he's so thirsty and would probably die without water.

He finds a house (you guessed correct!) and goes there begging for some water, and Arun Barun Kiranmala stares at him like 😶 as they bring him water to drink. He drinks it and then looks at the trio in awe, wondering who these godly looking younglings are. He asks them and they say they are brahmin's kids. (Love ya papa 🗿)

Hearing them, he kind of becomes emotional as he feels his heart beating faster (instincts? Ig..?) and cries a little as he tells them he's the sad king of that kingdom and if they even need anything they should tell him. Then he leaves.

......

So, now our baddie Kiranmala, innocently asks her brothers that “what does a king have?” and they say that they don't exactly know but have read in the books that a king has elephants, horses and palaces. So Kiranmala says that, “fuck elephants and horses we can't find them but make me a palace” 🗿 (I love her so much)

So her pookie cookie brothers say “okay” and gets to work. They literally work hard for 1 year 36 days nonstop without caring about hunger or thrist and built the palace. On exactly 1 year 36 days the palace is ready (yayayaya!!!)

Now the palace is made of marbles and diamonds and many other stones, with silver doors, golden tops, gardens, flowers, trees everything you can imagine. It's beautiful af. ✨🗿🤌 (Arun Barun legendary people)

.....

Now one day a sanyasi comes to their palace and while they were talking to him, he rambles about great many things like silver tree with golden fruit, a diamond like water fountain and a golden bird saying only those things would suit such a beautiful palace like the trio's.

So they ask where the can find those things and the sanyasi gives them the location and leaves. It's in some mystic mountain and all i forgot the details lol

.....

Arun decided he'd go get those things, and instructs Barun and Kiranmala to stay home and wait for him, giving them a sword saying if the sword starts to rust they'll know he's dead.

So months pass and Arun hasn't returned and the other two check his sword each day to see. But one day Barun notices the rusting, and breaks down crying, as he decides to go for himself.

He gives Kiranmala a bow and arrow saying if the tip of the arrow becomes blunt and the bow string breaks she'd know he's dead too.

So now Kiran is left home grieving and Barun is on his way to the mountain.

As Barun reaches the mountain, he sees the most beautiful place on earth, apsaras dancing and singing and all the magical creature and fog and everything. But suddenly he hears some voices calling his name from behind him and he turns around and BOOM he's a fucking stone statue (that's why you don't respond to strangers 🗿💀)

Barun wonders who'd save them as he realises both him and Arun are stone now.

......

Back home Kiranmala notices the blunt arrow tip and broken bow string realising both her brothers are gone, but she doesn't cry.

My girlie does all her house chores and then gets dressed like a warrior then kisses that cow's (it's name was Kajal Lata btw) bachhra and sets out for the mountain 🗿

And she's a badass, she's going by the speed of lighting not even stopping at anything. It takes her 33 days to reach the mountain.

Once she's at the foot of the mountain it's as if all kinds of calamities break down on it. Monsters and demons and ghost and wild animals all surrounds her and those weird ass noices come from all angles asking her to look at them behind, mistaking her for a prince.

BUT my bbg literally stops at nothing and runs the horse straight to the top where the silver tree and the fountain was, gripping her sword and all. 🗿🗿 (I love her so much ugghhh)

......

Once she reaches the tree, the golden bird tells her (yes it talks) to take all the things— the tree, the fruits, the sword, the bow, the arrow, the gems, the bird itself. Every single thing over there and then to beat the drum. And Kiranmala does as the birby say and as she beats the drum, all the chaos stops at the mountain and it becomes quiet. (Ok yeah maybe listen to birds who knows... I still hate birds tho)

Then birby tells her to sprinkle the entire mountain with that fountain water and as she does that, all those stone statues of all the people who had been there for so long turns back into humans and they all pay respect to her 🗿 Bahubali style 🗿 calling her the greatest in 7 yugas (exaggeration but honestly she's the QUEEN 👑 🗿✨)

Then Arun and Barun gets emotional and hugs her and yay!

......

They get back to their palace (which now isn't a palace but a whole ass land of wonder) and plants the trees and it starts to grow diamond and and gold and pearl and all. And that birby sits at the diamond tree and starts to sing. Then they put the fucking fountain amidst all these. 💀

And then they start to live their happily (you thought it's the ending? Nahi climax abhi baki haiiii)

Then one day birby tells them that they should invite the king to eat. So Arun Barun and Kiranmala are like

The trio: but what will we feed him??

Birby: I'll see that, just invite him

The trio: ok

And so they send him invitation 🗿✨

.....

This side daddy dearest hears about the wonderland the trio had created and is surprised those kiddos did so much, and then he recieves the invitation and he's like “hmmm gotta go and see for myself now aight”

And so Rajaji sets for their palace. Once he's there he's literally shik shaak shock seeing all the treasures and things everything, he makes the shocked pikachu face as he slowly starts to get emotional again, and cries badly thinking about not having kids and how he wished Arun Barun Kiranmala were his own kids.

He tells them to take him inside, and he's even more shocked when he sees the inside of the palace.

.......

Then they make him sit at the dining hall, and brings out all the varieties of foods, and now king bro is excited to eat because he's smelling the good food (feel you bro feel you)

All types of sweets, and foods and everything imaginable. So he picks up a bite but drops it asap as he realises everything infront of him is made of gold coins and gems.

So now he asks them if they are making fun of him or joking with him, and he gets the reply “why can't you eat it???”

King dude: it's all gold!!

???: yeah but why can't you eat it??

He sees a golden bird is talking to him and

King: yeah but it's fucking gold!!!

Birby: can a human give birth to a puppy??

King: huh?

Birby: tell me can a human give birth to a kitten??

King: ...huhh??

Birby: tell me king if a human can give birth to a wooden doll why can't a human eat gold???

King: ..... you're right.... Ohh how wrong I was!

.......

So basically the birby lectures dude about everything and makes him realises his mistake, as he breaks down crying (atleast bro ain't a toxic alpha male 💀🤌) as the bird says that these three beauties are his real kids, and those evil bitches masi(s) were the reason for all the puppy kitten wooden doll drama.

They all hug as the king cries in despair saying how he wishes his queen was with them right now. And birby tells Arun Barun Kiranmala that their mother stays in a hut on the other side of the river and instructs them to bring her as she's living her days in struggle and sadness (i mean that's obvious 💀)

.....

They bring back the queen, the king shifts his capital to that wonderland and everyone stays happily yay!

Aaaand as for those evil bitches, yeah king dude sends his men to burn down their houses and then nail them and bury them alive 💀💀

........

SOOOO THAT'S THE END OF THE STORY YAY

Im sorry it took me so long hehe,and even more sorry the post is so long (and not proof read so forgive the mistakes and typos ill see it soon)

Honestly it's my favourite story ever I love Kiranmala so much she's my babygirl shdggdbdsnndbd

[popwasabi]

My Top 10 Favorite Giant Monster Movies

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what it is that I love so much about the giant monster movie genre.

Perhaps it was my early fascination with dinosaurs and big animals at the zoo, or simply the idea of smashing model buildings and miniature cities growing up but giant monster flicks have stood the test of time for me more so than most of my childhood fascinations.

It’s a genre that can be both deeply thematic and even at the same time joyfully cheesy in the best way. It’s like watching your action figures come to life on the big screen and your imagination taking a larger than life form.

(And of course can be really entertaining on a “So bad it’s good” level too.)

So it has truly pleased me as a longtime fan of this crazy genre that giant monster flicks appear to be making a comeback these past five years with beautifully rendered and fully realized Hollywood re-imagining’s and with the new “Pacific Rim” film set to come out today I felt it would be great to share with you some of my all-time favorite monster flicks and why you should all make time to watch them.

I haven’t seen every kaiju-sized monster film blockbuster (you won’t find any of the “Cloverfield” films on here) but I have watched most all of the major ones that have appeared. So without further ado here are my top 10 favorite giant monster movies of all-time.

  10. Godzilla against Mechagodzilla

There have been five total movies and three different costumes involving this particular nemesis of Godzilla but 2002’s “Godzilla against Mechagodzilla” is the best one of them all.

First of all, it’s the only version of Mechagodzilla that actually looks like the actual G-man himself (set to make an appearance in this month’s “Ready Player One” btw) and secondly there’s a fairly decent story going on in the middle of all of it.

It’s basically your typical soldier’s redemption arc but with a kaiju-sized plot point. Yumiko Shaku plays an ex pilot who’s run in with Godzilla during a mission costs the lives of her fellow service men some years ago and now she’s been recruited to pilot a great new weapon built on the bones of the original 1954 Godzilla (Godzilla timelines and realities are more all over the place than the X-Men franchise btw). Its dark at times but the cast plays well off each other and when the monster suit action goes down it’s a real blast to watch Godzilla and his mechanical doppelganger throw down.

Best Moment: 

When Mechagodzilla arrives in the final act to beat up on Godzilla he hilariously flies down from the sky and bumps him out of the way from fire-balling a children’s hospital in this hilariously dated visual shot. I can’t tell you how many times me and my friend rewound this scene to watch and laugh at it again and again as middle-schoolers back in the day.

 9. Kong: Skull Island

The first of the new era of kaiju films on this list, this movie gets more and more fun each time I watch it. It has very little resemblance to any of the previous American King Kong films and frankly is more in line with Toho’s recreation of the character in the 60s and 70s in the best way.

After the so-so reimagining of “Godzilla” in 2014 I wondered if Hollywood would understand why there were mixed reactions to that film. Giant monster films really only work on two ends of a very extreme spectrum. You can only do them super dark and serious with heavy handed metaphors and minimal approaches to revealing the monster OR you show the monster all the time in the most ridiculous, action-packed, over-the-top, cheesy fashion. “Godzilla 2014” tried to have it both ways, trying some metaphorical shit about Godzilla (that really never applied to him) while also having a Showa era style monster throwdown.

“Kong” doesn’t make this mistake, instead opting for the latter in one ridiculous monster fight sequence after another. The big ape goes full pro-wrestler in this film and layeths the smacketh down on these Skull Island monster’s candy ass’s and it’s a total blast.

(BAW GAWD!)

It also helps that unlike “Godzilla 2014,” while characters are fairly one-dimensional in this too, they are at least fun to watch and the script seems self-aware that they are in a big cheesy monster film between the bantering of the soldiers and John C. Reilly’s delightful WWII Dr. Bruhl routine.

“Kong” was one of the films that was quietly one of the best, in my opinion, in 2017 and I’m looking forward to the next Giant Monster shared universe film because of it.

Best Moment: 

When Kong starts flinging old boat propeller chains at the big Skull Crawler in the final act like fucking Kratos from “God of War.” It’s again such an awesomely, ridiculous sequence that harkens back to the cheesy films it pays homage to in the best way. Not to mention tearing the monster’s throat out was gnarly as hell too.

 8. Gamera: Attack of Legion

Godzilla is obviously the most popular kaiju to emerge from the Pacific Ocean to attack Japan but not enough fans worldwide pay tribute to the big flying, fire-breathing, turtle that often protects it, from Toho’s rival studio Daiei.

Gamera is probably my second favorite all-time kaiju and his films in the 90s were arguably better and definitely darker than the Godzilla films that came out during the Hesei era. The giant turtle had some truly violent confrontations, for kids movies, during this time and “Attack of Legion” almost gave me nightmares as a child.

If you like “Starship Troopers” or “Aliens” this is a good one to watch as Gamera takes on a hive of space-faring, plant-based(?) insects and the smalls ones rip apart the humans in often grisly fashion in this film.

The costumed fight sequences are a lot of fun to watch and Legion herself(?) is a really well designed monster that plays a worthy adversary for the Guardian of Earth.

Best Moment: 

When Gamera unleashes his big new weapon when his chest opens up and puts out a giant chest fireball powered from ancient energies from a far (I know right?). It kind of reminds me of Guyver’s own chest busting weapon in his manga series (ask your weeaboo friends) and it leaves behind an anime sized crater where Legion once stood. Few of the Godzilla films have a sequence as jaw-dropping as this one and even if it was a big cheesy monster flick it’s still quite a cinematic moment when it goes down.

 7. Gamera: Revenge of Iris

This one by far is probably the darkest of the Heisei era monster flicks.

There’s a small element of Cronenberg level horror in this film and some more grissly death scenes the Gamera franchise is known for in the 90s. At its core though it has a pretty decent thematic story about revenge and how it consumes us all, leading to in this case literal big consequences as a Japanese school girl name Ayana, who’s family was crushed accidentally by Gamera in the first film of this series (“Guardian of the Universe”) vows revenge by calling on an ancient evil beast to kill the big turtle.

The cinematography, even for a costumed monster flick is really solid in this film and even today has aged fairly well. The dark hues of Japan during a stormy night, the updated more vicious look of Gamera and the new enemy Iris all look the part in this big revenge-filled throwdown.

It’s the type of spectacle that makes these Gamera films stand apart from the rest of the costume monster genre as being one of the few that manages to be cheesy with giant rubber suit but also dark and thematic at the same time.

It’s still such a damn shame though we never got to see this giant turtle lock horns with the King of Monsters though =/.

Best Moment: 

When Gamera his own hand off, which was pinned to the Kyoto Bullet Train station by Iris’s claw, to save himself and Ayana, and goes full G Gundam shining finger on its ass. Yeah, it’s a pretty insane sequence but it’s so fucking cool when it happens!

 6. King Kong (1933)

If this was a list based purely on level of importance to the genre the original “King Kong” is easily number one on here. But we’re rating this purely on my own personal aesthetic taste because if we rated films only on their importance to filmmaking everyone would have “Birth of a Nation” and “The Jazz Singer” on their top 10 lists and I’m preeeety sure no one wants that (seriously look it up).

Anyways, “King Kong” despite being made almost 100 years ago now is the most important film in this genre by a mile and has a pretty awesome amount of giant monster action that holds up on the fun scale even after all this time. The stop motion animation used in this film was revolutionary for its time and still visually entertaining to watch between the man eating brontosaurs (yeah, I know) and Kong beating the shit out of other large beasts on the island all while just wanting to spend some quiet time with his special lady friend.

It’s one of the first major blockbusters too in Hollywood history, hugely influential on a host of a big-time directors and virtually all giant monster fans will tell you their first love was this movie.

I guess it’s only because I’m such a Godzilla/Tokusatsu fanboy “King Kong” isn’t higher on this list but regardless, this big great ape will always have a spot in my kaiju-shaped heart.

Hail to the King, baby.

Best Moment:  

After all this time it’s still Kong breaking the jaw of the tyrannosaur while saving Ann from being eaten. It’s a scene that has been recreated in other monster films multiple times but the original is still a classic moment.

 5. Godzilla: GMK

Short for “Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah” (which is funny because it completely leaves out Baragon from this title who is also in it), “GMK” is far and away the best of the Millennium era of the giant monster films and unsurprisingly the man behind the greatness of this kaiju flick also made the three bad ass Gamera films of the 90s: Shusuke Kaneko.

Kaneko, much like his Gamera films, mixes in the cheese of your typical rubber suit monster film with the darker tone his films of the past take on.

Generally speaking the closer the story of a Godzilla film relates to the original 1954 movie the stronger the story is and this one builds on the themes of the atomic bomb while also addressing a topic relevant to Japanese politics.

This has been ongoing for a while in Japanese society but for those who don’t already know Japan has no army. It has a defense force that is in many ways under the jurisdiction of the United States and the rest of the world. Japan pretty much lost its sovereignty to defend itself after WWII and this has not sat well with much of the country. Another film, that you’ll see soon on this list, also addresses this topic but the position Kaneko takes is that Japan has forgotten the horrible the sins it committed in the wake of WWII and must understand why it has lost its right to have an active military.

Godzilla works best when he’s a big walking metaphor for something terrible and in this way Godzilla assumes the visage of a vengeful God coming to punish Japan for those sins it committed during the war. In this film Godzilla is the accumulation of dead souls from the pacific campaign and Imperial occupation of Asia and it’s an appropriate way of reminding the Japanese audience of this film “Don’t you ever fucking forget what you did.”

Now, there’s a strong debate to be had about giving Japan back its military. Afterall, if the US can invade other countries and commit war crimes why the hell should we be able to tell Japan (an ally) they can’t either? BUT it’s still important that Japan understands why such a declaration was made in the first place and certainly promoting revisionist history of their time occupying Asia is NOT a good look and this film expresses that loudly.

Best Moment: 

A little Easter egg moment is honestly my favorite among all the giant monster action and heavy metaphors of the story. Basically the cast of characters are discussing other strange monster sized occurrences across the world and one of them remarks there was an attack in New York in 1998 and how the Americans think it was Godzilla. Then one of the characters more or less says “Nah that can’t be true” and it’s pretty amusing of course if you know what that’s referencing.

 4. Godzilla vs Destoryah

Other fanboys in the 90s had “The Death Superman” that rocked their childhoods and put them into a depressed stupor. Well, for me in my childhood it was “Godzilla vs Destoryah” aka “The one where Godzilla finally dies.”

I remember picking that VHS tape up from my local video rental shack as a kid with both giddy excitement and somber acceptance. First of all the name “Destoryah” as a kid that sounded totally bad ass and I couldn’t wait to see my favorite giant reptile throw down with him but knowing this would be his last film (for now) made me sad and depressed.

Set a truly beautiful and dark score by the original “Gojira” composer Akira Ifukube the thrills and destruction of Godzilla is fully realized in its rubber costume glory. I don’t think there was a better looking suit than this volcano inspired visage the G-man rocks here.

Destoryah himself is a really neat looking monster too. Part prehistoric crustacean and part demon from the underworld, this beast was real eye candy for me as a kid and paid homage to original film’s big plot device. The Oxygen Destroyer, which is the device that killed “Gojira” in the first film, is what mutates Precambrian era lifeforms into this beast that ultimately does battle with Godzilla and it’s a glorious throwdown.

There’s also a light homage to “Aliens” in this film too when the Japanese equivalent of SWAT gets whacked in a refinery by a bunch of smaller Destroyahs and it’s actually a pretty tension filled sequence.

But it was knowing that the film was the end of an era that made it so great, as the actors behind the characters seem to be self-aware of this being Godzilla’s final curtain call (again, for now). It’s like watching a liftetime achievement award in action almost as the kaiju mayhem is upped to 11 and Godzilla’s ultimate death is both cinematic and mesmerizing to watch all while Ifukube’s score plays softly in the background.

Best Moment: 

As the dust settles from Godzilla’s meltdown, we suddenly see a large silhouette in the smoke where Godzilla Jr’s body once lay, Destoryah had presumably killed him earlier but now a fully grown new Goji stands there triumphantly roaring into the night.

As a kid this made me tear up, not just because I was attached to Jr. and was glad he was ok but because it was like the film was saying to its fans “This isn’t good bye. We’ll be back.”

I had gone into watching this movie as a kid thinking this would be the last Godzilla film I would ever watch and it had made me sad but seeing the new Godzilla emerge from old one’s shadow made me hopeful I would see my favorite childhood, atomic breathing dinosaur once more.

And sure enough I did.

 3. Pacific Rim

This movie isn’t so much a film as it is a love letter to the Tokusatsu genre. If you grew up on giant monster flicks and mech anime this was the film that was made for you and the childlike joy Guillermo Del Toro directs this film with is just perfect.

No, the story isn’t particularly deep and neither are the characters as it has a bit of “Top Gun” mixed in with “Neon Genesis Evangelion” but the film is so colorful and fun that who gives a shit?

A giant mech, that looks like a football player, uses an elbow rocket to punch a gorilla shaped giant monster in the face and later uses an oil tanker like a baseball bat to club another one. It’s awesome!

What was truly great about the film though is that it feels like a cheesy monster flick from the 60s but simply with updated graphics. Unlike the failed 1998 “Godzilla” film these monsters don’t move around like fucking T-Rexes. They lumber, they throw fists with exaggerated motions, and heave themselves around without any sense of grace, just like dude’s in rubber suits do. It looks like how I would imagine those old monster flicks would look with better CGI.

And of course Charlie Day and Ron Pearlman are just delightful as Newt and Hannibal Chau as they are in everything they are a part of. The cast in general seems to have blast in this movie and it’s part of what makes the film so perfect.

Best Moment: 

Nearing the end of the battle in China, Raleigh and Mako are out of options as a winged kaiju flies them up into space to drop them down from up high but just as all hope seems lost Mako unlocks the last weapon on Gypsy Danger; A FUCKING SWORD! And just to put icing on the cake before slicing the kaiju in half, Mako delivers the most badass line of film triumphantly declaring in Japanese “For my Family!” I lost my damn mind in theaters when she dropped that line. Who cares if they didn’t use the damn sword earlier; that was fucking awesome!

 2. Shin Gojira

“Shin Gojira” is basically what I thought/wanted “Godzilla 2014” to be.

I felt it had been too long since we had a truly evil Godzilla film (GMK being one of the few outliers really in about 60 plus years of Godzilla films). The big guy had been a Face for too long and desperately needed to revert back to being a Heel and “Shin Gojira” takes the big guy back to his grim, dark, metaphorical roots.

Out of all the Godzilla films that have come out this one most closely resembles the tone and themes of the original, though with some differences in the messaging. This film takes the opposite side of “GMK” in that it’s all about the Japanese need for national sovereignty again. It’s openly critical of the US and of the Japanese government’s failure of bureaucracy. If anything, it’s almost a conservative film railing against the dangers of big government.

More than half the film is really just board room meetings within the Japanese government where that failure of politics really becomes heavy and sometimes even feels a bit like “Dr. Strangelove” with the dry, dark humor as the politicians fail again and again to address the problem.

I don’t believe either “Shin Gojira” or “GMK” make stronger points on Japanese politics but rather they both make good ones and this film illustrates well that Japan is in many ways defenseless toward attack without the rest of the world getting involved. In this way Godzilla becomes a big walking metaphor for any number of threats that could attack Japan, from North Korea to Russia and hell even an allegory for the US’s own meddling in this regard.

There’s a real sense of dread with each step Godzilla takes in this film, leaving a large path of destruction in his way. He plods slowly but you get the sense that despite this there is truly nothing Japan can or is even prepared to do and it adds to the somber reality of the story’s theme. There’s pretty obvious callbacks to the Fukushima disaster too as we see tidal waves wash over the cities and nuclear waste left behind by Godzilla and it adds to the film’s relevant messaging.

A lot of fans have mixed opinions on Godzilla’s, let’s say, crusty appearance but personally I liked it. There’s a nice horror element to this design as this particular Godzilla is made out millions of mutated creatures in the ocean coming together and his cold, dead, listless eyes are pure nightmare fuel. It’s in my opinion one of the best looks the big reptile has ever had and it especially works well to again add to this image of Godzilla as less a creature and more a demonic God coming to punish the non-believers.

Best Moment: 

When Godzilla unhinges his mandibles (Holy shit! What the fuck!?) and unloads a giant anime sized atomic blast upon Tokyo in honestly my favorite giant monster sequence of all-time.

Unlike “Godzilla 2014’s” big atomic blast sequence which plays more like cheap fan service, there’s a clear build-up to this moment in the film. Things had been steadily getting worse with each scene in this movie up until this point for the Japanese and the main characters are all on the ropes at this point as they just try to escape Godzilla’s wrath, giving in to defeat as they run for safety. Then Godzilla’s fins begin lighting up and it’s like “Oh shit what now?” for these characters and the entire sequence plays like the gates of the Rapture opening up. It’s terrifying and if you didn’t get to see this cinematic scene on the big screen while it was in select theaters, you truly missed out.

 1. Gojira

You didn’t actually think this list wouldn’t end with this at number one, right?

Yup, the original 1954 classic is my all-time favorite monster movie and while the genre is largely just fun, campy schlocke, “Gojira” even with its dated special affects is not that type of movie.

It’s somber, dark, depressing and was a hugely important film at the time for Japan. Up until this point there wasn’t a whole lot of post war or atomic bomb discussion or expression among the Japanese and it made it hard to cope with what happened. “Gojira” was the first time the people of Japan kind of got to confront what happened and it was both terrifying and cathartic for them.

“Gojira” though is a story that ultimately is about the failure of humanity. The film was created less than a year after an off shore atomic bomb test unintentionally killed Japanese Fishermen in the pacific causing another panic amongst the Japanese populace reminding them of what had happened just a decade before. Godzilla in this film becomes a metaphor for that failure to not learn from the mistake of creating such a terrible weapon. He becomes less a “force of nature” metaphor as King Kong is and more egregiously how the 2014 film made him out to be but rather again a vengeful God coming to punish the human race for their hubris and sins.

The creation of Godzilla in this story, an ancient subterranean dinosaur awakened and mutated by atomic bomb testing, harkens back to the themes of Mary Shelley’s classic “Frankenstein” and how we humans often meddle with forces beyond our understanding to the point of our own undoing. The film makes this point effectively with each step Godzilla takes as he levels Tokyo and the despair and dread of the characters and the citizens of Japan can be heavily felt on screen. It’s a darkly, beautiful film because of it and it’s kind of ironic when you think such a thematic and message driven story could give birth to such a cheesy and over the top genre of movies for decades to come.

Nonetheless “Gojira” stands alone as not just the King of Monsters but the King of all Monster Films.

Best Moment:

In the aftermath of Godzilla’s destruction we cut to the next day where the citizens pick up the fallen pieces of their city and its people. There’s hospitals full of the wounded and dead and shots of children with Geiger counters beeping all over them. This is really where the film really emphasizes the pure terrible destruction the atomic bomb and how we all are doomed to repeat this tragedy if we don’t learn to coexist better. As school children sing a “Prayer For Peace” over these images it’s truly hard not to get misty eyed during this sequence.

Anyways that’s my list, hope you enjoyed reading it! Let me know what your favorite giant monster film is in the comments! Cya at the Miracle Mile tonight when we cancel the Apocalypse again!

War ready, mother fuckers!

[celeboftea]

K Buzz Talks about New Song "Gbedu", His Aspirations & More [Interview] - Getmybuzzup: Tell us a little about yourself? K Buzz: I started music in 2006/7 but started off doing gospel music and was known as Kristi B back then. I’ve always been into music from an early age from the church choir to listening to Nas, Tupac, and Biggie through my old cassette player lol. After a while of being on Facebook, they no longer allowed users to have a surname with one letter so I was forced to change it. I decided to change it to Buzz. But in 2011 I stopped the music game to focus on uni and looking after my son. In December 2018 on my visit to Nigeria for my holiday, I had a dream which is usual for me to dream about music and woke up to record and write down the melodies and lyrics, etc. Later to play it to my cousin who said it was dope that we must head to a studio that day by force lol. Long story short I recorded my 1st song in years, it was my first time in a studio in over five years and it was at that moment I realized that me fighting my passion the God-given gift was taking more energy than needed so I decided to reroute than passion and energy into making music.   Getmybuzzup: How long have you been in the music industry? K Buzz: About 13 years from when I originally started, but officially a year since my return in December 2018.   Getmybuzzup: How did you get started in the first place? K Buzz: Started when I was in church with some friends, we formed a group, and started making music based on our faith.   Getmybuzzup: How would you describe your latest single? K Buzz: Hennting Goes - Produced by BluBlood, the foundations for ‘HennyTing Goes’ were laid through K Buzz’s interest in the viral Shaku and Zanku dances that have popped up in the past few years. The finished product aims to breed positivity, encouraging listeners to ‘dance as you like, do as you like, live your life to the fullest’. K Buzz’s precise, energetic delivery and Zlatan’s signature animated flow blend with great chemistry over a hard-hitting, lively instrumental, a perfect vibe for the dancefloor. Please Reblog!

[getmybuzzup]

K Buzz Talks about New Song "Gbedu", His Aspirations & More [Interview] - Getmybuzzup: Tell us a little about yourself? K Buzz: I started music in 2006/7 but started off doing gospel music and was known as Kristi B back then. I’ve always been into music from an early age from the church choir to listening to Nas, Tupac, and Biggie through my old cassette player lol. After a while of being on Facebook, they no longer allowed users to have a surname with one letter so I was forced to change it. I decided to change it to Buzz. But in 2011 I stopped the music game to focus on uni and looking after my son. In December 2018 on my visit to Nigeria for my holiday, I had a dream which is usual for me to dream about music and woke up to record and write down the melodies and lyrics, etc. Later to play it to my cousin who said it was dope that we must head to a studio that day by force lol. Long story short I recorded my 1st song in years, it was my first time in a studio in over five years and it was at that moment I realized that me fighting my passion the God-given gift was taking more energy than needed so I decided to reroute than passion and energy into making music.   Getmybuzzup: How long have you been in the music industry? K Buzz: About 13 years from when I originally started, but officially a year since my return in December 2018.   Getmybuzzup: How did you get started in the first place? K Buzz: Started when I was in church with some friends, we formed a group, and started making music based on our faith.   Getmybuzzup: How would you describe your latest single? K Buzz: Hennting Goes - Produced by BluBlood, the foundations for ‘HennyTing Goes’ were laid through K Buzz’s interest in the viral Shaku and Zanku dances that have popped up in the past few years. The finished product aims to breed positivity, encouraging listeners to ‘dance as you like, do as you like, live your life to the fullest’. K Buzz’s precise, energetic delivery and Zlatan’s signature animated flow blend with great chemistry over a hard-hitting, lively instrumental, a perfect vibe for the dancefloor. Please Reblog!

[finewindclearmorning-blog]

In Dreamland

“Our schoolmaster used to take a nap every afternoon,” related a disciple of Soyen Shaku. “We children asked him why he did it and he told us: ‘I go to dreamland to meet the old sages just as Confucius did.’ When Confucius slept, he would dream of ancient sages and later tell his followers about them.

“It was extremely hot one day so some of us took a nap. Our schoolmaster scolded us. ‘We went to dreamland to meet the ancient sages the same as Confucius did,’ we explained. ‘What was the message from those sages?’ our schoolmaster demanded. One of us replied: ‘We went to dreamland and met the sages and asked them if our schoolmaster came there every afternoon, but they said they had never seen any such fellow.'”

Read more zen stories

[2x2verse]

I AM STILL NOT ON TIME FOR NSFW STRIDERCEST WEEK [takes another bite of toast and transforms into a Real AnimeTM]

Reflex [dirkhal]

“One, two--come on, forward, forward, it’s like I’m fighting a fucking thirteen-year-old.”

Your face pinches. This would be a lot easier if you could regulate your body temperature by sweating--well, maybe, it’s so humid out it might not make much of a difference. “Maybe because the last time I touched a sword, I was thirteen.”

It’s a subtle dig, one only Dirk would notice. That’s why you said it. “Uh, excuse you, bro, it’s a daitō and you will respect that.”

“You know what daitō means?” You relax your posture. Just enough that Dirk thinks he has an opening, and he snaps forward to get his blade in the space you just left. Like you didn’t expect that (like you aren’t him), like you don’t bring your own sword down to trap the tip of his against the concrete of the rooftop. You hope it chips. Dirk’s close enough that you can lean forward to whisper straight into his ear. “It means long sword. Precision, precision.” You click your tongue at him. “It’s a two-and-a-half-shaku tachi, you pleb.”

Dirk flicks his wrist up, dislodges the length of your blade, and feints, trying to catch you in the back. You’re too fast for him, not allowing him the cheap shot, and as you pivot on your heel, he retreats back into his own personal space. You can’t see his eyes, but light is just barely traveling across his shades as he tries to take in the situation, see what you’re playing at. “It’s a katana,” he insists. “A katana--”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot.” With some effort, you slow yourself down, try to drop your center of gravity without Dirk noticing. You want to spring on him here, propel off the rooftop with the superhuman strength of your legs until you trap him against one of the edges here with the force of your forward attack momentum. “You were so proud when you bought these from the mall kiosk that you got a free fedora, you respect them so much that you wear them with the cutting edge down, and you’re so competent with them that you disregard centuries of war arts to draw one-handed and attack in the same movement.”

“One of these days,” Dirk mutters, “I’m going to break your instant uplink to the Internet so you can’t access Wikipedia when I’m trying to teach you something.” His skin is fucking glistening with effort and grime and it’s hard not to just throw aside your weapon and jump his bones where he stands.

But it’ll be so much better if you soundly defeat him first. You may not have the muscle memory he does, but you have a processor core orders of magnitude more powerful than his, and the entirety of YouTube to watch for tutorials. Your weight is solidly resting on the balls of your feet. Because you don’t sweat, your grip on the hilt is solid, your identical fingers slotting perfectly into the grooves Dirk’s worn into the leather. Without adrenalin to interrupt your decision-making, you can plot this attack exactly how you’d like.

You take flight, the tension in your thighs snapping as you propel yourself forward, and your speed in this new body takes Dirk by surprise. He’s on the defensive as you slash into his space, close enough to threaten but (you hope) not enough to maim. The hollow sound of steel on steel gets swallowed in the sounds of the city, and between the two of you, your footprints are scuffing up dirt that clogs your internal filters.

Dirk’s not keeping track of his space--he thinks he’s on solid ground. His heel hits up against the brick of the side of the rooftop and you watch his eyebrows flick up in surprise. One more step and you have him totally pinned, your blade at his adam’s apple; fine blond stubble catches on the sharp of it.

“Checkmate,” you tell him, reaching out with your other hand to grab his hair and tip his head back.

This close, you can peer through the dark of his shades; Dirk’s eyes are down and to the side. “Well, this has gone completely fucking pear-shaped. There’s no other way out of it.” A twisted, toothy smile. “You’re going to have to decapitate m--”

“Not even close,” you interrupt him. Dirk drops his sword and you captchalogue it yourself, right alongside yours. He doesn’t move his throat or try to wrench his head away from your fist in his hair. Your fans are on overdrive and your circuits are thrumming. Crowding into Dirk’s personal space gets your hips up close with the respectable start of a hard-on. You will never get over the thrill of being his exact height, how your faces match perfectly. At this angle, though, when you press against him, your teeth are at his throat. His breath gets a little huffy when your canines glance over his carotid. “If I weren’t so convinced you gave this your best, I’d think you lost on purpose.”

“That was giving my best, I could have wiped the floor with you.” With your other hand, you push Dirk’s shades into his hair. His eyes are sparkling with dry humor when you let his head down. “Do you know how much restraint it takes to let a thirteen-year-old beat me?”

“Oh, so it was just to cushion my ego. I see.” Not that there was ever an implied sexual wager between the two of you, no sir. To regain the upper hand, you twist your fingers in Dirk’s hair, lean forward to bite his lower lip. The electricity of his skin always feels so good against your porcelain-silicone.

Dirk sucks in a breath just past your teeth, nips you back to align your lips a little better. His mouth is hot and drenched with hormones that make your taste sensors go haywire. “I’m impressed,” he tells you, breathless, between devouring kisses. “I didn’t think you’d make it that easy.”

What he’s carefully avoiding saying: you did better than he thought you would. “I accept your defeat.” And his arousal, as you roll your hips against his and press his ass into the waist-high ridge girding the roof and keeping either of you from a twenty-some-story fall to the streets below. “Turn around.”

“I won’t do it unless you call me--”

“Bright Eyes.” You can finish each other’s thoughts. It’s so intimate to be so inextricable from him, from his mind, even after all this time. And you want to be back in him again. In every way. In any way you can. You twist your wrist, which cranes Dirk’s neck to the side, and you give him just enough space to pivot and press his ass back into you before you pin him again. It’s irresistible, really, and your robo-dong nestles perfectly against it as you press him against the retaining wall.

Dirk’s hands reach out, scrabble for purchase, grip the ledge. “Holy shit.”

“What?”

“I can see the street.”

“You think I’m going to let you fall?” You thread your fingers back into his hair again, tug gently. A little sigh burbles out of Dirk’s throat, and his knuckles stop going quite so white. “Never. Spread your legs a little and your center of gravity stays right back here.”

“Get my pants down first and I’ll think about it.”

Ah. Right. Logistics. It’s a little easier for you, your bodycon suit has invisible seams that can split it any which way for convenience’s sake, but Dirk has these things called pants and they need to go vaguely downwards for you to get access to his princely parts. It’s easy enough to find his glaringly huge Batman belt buckle, snap it open, but wriggling the denim down his hips is an exercise in frustration. Why does he have to wear the tightest clothing for the most rigorous exercise? The real interesting phenomenon here is the small bottle of choji oil nestled in a front pocket, almost camouflaged by the other bulge in his pants; you fish it out, set it down by one of Dirk’s thumbs. It’s his responsibility now to make sure it doesn’t accidentally fall off the edge of the building. Why, it’s almost like he planned for this outcome. Dirk’s jeans are clinging to his skin with sweat-damp and your fingertips skate along between cloth and body, never quite finding the purchase they want. You kick at one of his ankles. “Out.” The hips are too narrow for him to really spread his knees.

Dirk follows your lead, kicks off shoe, sock, and pant leg; his bare foot curls up awkwardly when he sets it back down in a wider stance, protecting his soft insole from the grit of the concrete rooftop. And his toes are already curling in. Perfect. When you reach around his front with your other hand, you find him full hard. Rutting against him from behind pushes Dirk’s hips into the architecture and his hard-on into your hand. “Ah, fuck,” he chokes out, tilting back so it presses his bare ass against your dick.

Right. Because when you divested him of his clothes, that gave him zero protection against the unforgiving roughness of the brick and mortar. “It’s like you think I won’t take care of you,” you murmur condescendingly into his ear. Dirk’s this close to reaching behind and swatting you, only holding back once he realizes moving his hand would mean losing his balance, and probably the oil as well. You pluck it out of his sight so there’s no risk of that happening. “Shh,” from your mouth covers the pop of the cap as you empty the contents all over your hand, and you follow up with a gentle massage of your fingertips into his scalp. That’ll always make you melt, so you know it does the same for him.

Your soaked hand reaches between his legs from behind; you find his balls with your fingertips and slick the whole oiled press of your palm backwards, leaving Dirk a wet mess between his legs. With a finger on his perineum, you can feel his dick twitch, down to the root. Your forearm isn’t in front to brace him anymore, so his stomach rests awkwardly on the barrier as his hips subconsciously tilt towards you--the best angle for this. Before he can think about, and correct, his little tells, you let the rest of the oil in your palm drip down your fingers, hone in on his hole, and start teasing him open.

He’s not as resilient as you. Sometimes it’s hard to remember. In moments like this, though, when you’re touching up against every tender inside part of him you can reach, you can feel just how human he is. You almost want to protect him from himself. Your own body can be rebuilt, you have the technology, but Dirk only gets one shot with the one he was given. His back is already smattered with scars and you long to destroy anything that could have given him such a memento of hurt. While you open him around one finger, you drop your lips to his neck, feel out his pulse with your delicate, crowded touch sensors, and follow it up, down, catch the uptick in rhythm when you press just the right spot just the right way.

Two fingers, and you can feel the harshness of every breath he chokes down. He’s hitching his hips back against you insistently, afraid to push forward in case he chafes his shaft against brick. “Remind me,” Dirk says, half-breath and half-moan, “I need to install mini bullets in your fingertips the next chance I get.”

“What, and be even more susceptible to this?” Ease out, and then plunge back in with three. You can hear Dirk’s fingernails scratching up loose grit from the concrete as you spread him open. “That doesn’t seem fair, really. I can’t just install cybernetic sex enhancements in you whenever I decide you’re too boring for me.”

“I’ll nev--ah! Be too boring for you,” he insists. And he’s right. He’s a curiosity, a treasure, something unique and unpredictable even in his rigid routines and instinctive reflexes. You need him, need to learn him inside and out, need him to be yours, need to be in him again, need--

Fingers out--there’s a pornographic centerfold for you, Dirk spreading his legs and so ready to get fucked, clove-smelling oil dribbling down his taint. It only takes a brief sweep of your thumb to separate your bodysuit at the waist, a tuck of the joint under the fabric to sweep it down and let your cock out from where it’s been choking to death in the spandex. You don’t tell him when, but it’s like he knows anyway, and he lets out a slow, tight breath as you hold yourself steady and finally, finally, get as close to him as you can.

His hips are still tense even as you nudge further and further in. You can fix that. With your one hand still idly petting along his scalp, you reach around with the other and cup your still-slick hand around his dick. A thrust forward from you, and he lets the momentum press him up against the wall, your forearm cushioning his hips and your fingers giving him something amazing to rut against.

Out, in again. An ever-increasing tempo, only ratcheting up once Dirk starts to remember to choke down his moans. And then your hand in his hair forces his head down so he has no choice but to stare at his potential death, and you drive forward at just the right angle, and Dirk yells “oh, god, fuck!” to every single one of his neighbors. So much for his Strider poker face.

And he feels--so good, so warm, with such a human pulse running through him, greedily gulping down his breaths in such a human way, skin shining with oil and swordfight and sex. The thrust of him against your hand, the clench of him around you, feels so organic, so natural, and “shit,” you let out, the tiniest curse, you want to be in him, really inside him, nestled in his human frame and living in his human brain and never to be separated from him again--god, you want it, you want him, you need this--you need--behind your teeth, electrical charge building with nowhere to go, so close you can taste your circuits sparking--

Dirk hollers some nonsense vowel sound into the void and orgasms against your hand, the clench of him drawing you in--the furthest you can go--you crush his hips to yours, lay your chest over his back, and overload with a hum so urgent and loud it vibrates through both your bodies.

It takes a hot minute for your wiring to get back under control. Dirk’s breathing hard under you, head hung low between his shoulders with exhaustion and satisfaction. You try to draw his head up so you can pull him away from the edge, and that’s when you notice your hand shaking. Your arm. Miniature recalibrations happening on a second-by-second basis. It wouldn’t be so bad if it were just your upper extremities, but your knees feel almost weak and the tremor in your ankles means you’re at a real risk of losing your balance.

You pull out of Dirk--gently, he does one of those soft vowel noises that you know isn’t pain, but a warning that that’s where you’re going--and sit your fucking ass down before you hurt someone. Not entirely voluntarily, either. Your backwards momentum, plus your ankles giving out, means you basically slip on nothing and end up hitting the rooftop ass first.

“Fuck,” Dirk huffs out. A few huffs of breath that’s the closest he can get to a laugh while still being this winded. Your suit’s sealing itself back up, even though your crotch is still slick, and you wonder if that’s going to hurt you later. “Oh, god,” Dirk moans again, this time trying to find the waistband of his pants with his bare toes so he can get himself dressed again. He manages to pull up his pants without looking too fucked, and while he’s doing his fly and his belt, he turns around to check on you. The way you can see the white in his eyes as he looks you over makes your coolant freeze. “God, what the hell happened?”

“I don’t know--”

“You’re shaking,” Dirk says. You’re glad he can state the obvious, you just wish it wasn’t so obvious to him how much of a mess you are right now. “Your suit is fucking soaked through--your arm, Hal, look at your arm!”

Which arm? The hand you had at his head is fine, if still spasming out of your control. Your other hand--when you turn it over to take a look at the back of it, it’s completely chewed up, gouges and dents and scratches in your synthetic skin, some bad enough to leave exposed wiring. You follow the extent of the damage up your forearm, where keeping Dirk from rubbing himself raw against the brick retaining wall just meant you took the brunt of it yourself. “Well, shit,” you say idly, moving to touch one of the frayed wires.

“Don’t!” Dirk snaps before you spark yourself. “Hal, god, you can’t just keep doing this to yourself, I know you think you’re indestructible but I just--when you’re--you can’t do this to me. Come on, we gotta take care of you, I can’t stand worrying about you this much.”

He reaches for your hand, skips it and hauls you up by the wrist. He’s a hot mess, and so are you, but between the two of you, with his thoroughly-fucked ass and your unsteady legs, you make it down the stairs and back to the apartment. His protectiveness of you perfectly mirrors your anxiety over his fragile human body. You just wish he’d let you take care of him, too.