#i just wanted to add how this disappointed me when i found out the gay was not historical like i originally was made 2 believe

[coridallasmultipass]

If it's okay for me to add something related because I first saw this on Tumblr: In the mid-2010s, I heard about there being a gay Filipino deity romance (from one culture in the Philippines - there are many different cultures and beliefs) here on Tumblr. It wasn't until years later when researching Philippine deities for fun while trying to broadly connect with my culture that I found a deep dive where someone found that the Bulan and Sidapa love story originated from the same fictional blog source, and had been circulating from new sources and fan art claiming it was historical for years before the author tried to find a non-modern historical source for the rumour, creating a kind of Berenstain/Berenstein effect on the people he asked, claiming they'd heard about the love story from a forgotten source much earlier than the 2010s, but unable to give a specific name, or the source cited claimed they didn't actually know about the romance.

While I think in this instance, a shift in narrative is obviously okay when you consider it is still a living Filipino culture, and people from that clearly find identity with this modern take (which should be asked of people from the cultures directly affected by misinfo), it should also be important not to rewrite it as 'historical fact' particularly when it has a fictional modern source that someone can directly point to as the origin when they question and search down the telephone line (like the game).

(I use the word 'fictional' only in reference to the originating blog, because the blog was unable or unwilling to provide any sources that mentioned that relationship to the deep dive author. I'm not implying said gods can't be/aren't gay. I'm not from that specific Philippine culture, and I don't have enough background knowledge to make any claims of my own. There's also no like, singular religious text/'bible' that pre-Hispanic Philippine beliefs followed as a rule/that can be consulted about this - it's not like a translation debate. There's just no textual source pre-dating the blog making the claim of the romance, and historians/oral historians aren't making the claim either.)

I get variations on this comment on my post about history misinformation all the time: "why does it matter?" Why does it matter that people believe falsehoods about history? Why does it matter if people spread history misinformation? Why does it matter if people on tumblr believe that those bronze dodecahedra were used for knitting, or that Persephone had a daughter named Mespyrian? It's not the kind of misinformation that actually hurts people, like anti-vaxx propaganda or climate change denial. It doesn't hurt anyone to believe something false about the past.

Which, one, thanks for letting me know on my post that you think my job doesn't matter and what I do is pointless, if it doesn't really matter if we know the truth or make up lies about history because lies don't hurt anyone. But two, there are lots of reasons that it matters.

It encourages us to distrust historians when they talk about other aspects of history. You might think it's harmless to believe that Pharaoh Hatshepsut was trans. It's less harmless when you're espousing that the Holocaust wasn't really about Jews because the Nazis "came for trans people first." You might think it's harmless to believe that the French royalty of Versailles pooped and urinated on the floor of the palace all the time, because they were asshole rich people anyway, who cares, we hate the rich here; it's rather less harmless when you decide that the USSR was the communist ideal and Good, Actually, and that reports of its genocidal oppression are actually lies.

It encourages anti-intellectualism in other areas of scholarship. Deciding based on your own gut that the experts don't know what they're talking about and are either too stupid to realize the truth, or maliciously hiding the truth, is how you get to anti-vaxxers and climate change denial. It is also how you come to discount housing-first solutions for homelessness or the idea that long-term sustained weight loss is both biologically unlikely and health-wise unnecessary for the majority of fat people - because they conflict with what you feel should be true. Believing what you want to be true about history, because you want to believe it, and discounting fact-based corrections because you don't want them to be true, can then bleed over into how you approach other sociological and scientific topics.

How we think about history informs how we think about the present. A lot of people want certain things to be true - this famous person from history was gay or trans, this sexist story was actually feminist in its origin - because we want proof that gay people, trans people, and women deserve to be respected, and this gives evidence to prove we once were and deserve to be. But let me tell you a different story: on Thanksgiving of 2016, I was at a family friend's house and listening to their drunk conservative relative rant, and he told me, confidently, that the Roman Empire fell because they instituted universal healthcare, which was proof that Obama was destroying America. Of course that's nonsense. But projecting what we think is true about the world back onto history, and then using that as recursive proof that that is how the world is... is shoddy scholarship, and gets used for topics you don't agree with just as much as the ones you do. We should not be encouraging this, because our politics should be informed by the truth and material reality, not how we wish the past proved us right.

It frequently reinforces "Good vs. Bad" dichotomies that are at best unhelpful and at worst victim-blaming. A very common thread of historical misinformation on tumblr is about the innocence or benevolence of oppressed groups, slandered by oppressors who were far worse. This very frequently has truth to it - but makes the lies hard to separate out. It often simplifies the narrative, and implies that the reason that colonialism and oppression were bad was because the victims were Good and didn't deserve it... not because colonialism and oppression are bad. You see this sometimes with radical feminist mother goddess Neolithic feminist utopia stuff, but you also see it a lot regarding Native American and African history. I have seen people earnestly argue that Aztecs did not practice human sacrifice, that that was a lie made up by the Spanish to slander them. That is not true. Human sacrifice was part of Aztec, Maya, and many Central American war/religious practices. They are significantly more complex than often presented, and came from a captive-based system of warfare that significantly reduced the number of people who got killed in war compared to European styles of war that primarily killed people on the battlefield rather than taking them captive for sacrifice... but the human sacrifice was real and did happen. This can often come off with the implications of a 'noble savage' or an 'innocent victim' that implies that the bad things the Spanish conquistadors did were bad because the victims were innocent or good. This is a very easy trap to fall into; if the victims were good, they didn't deserve it. Right? This logic is dangerous when you are presented with a person or group who did something bad... you're caught in a bind. Did they deserve their injustice or oppression because they did something bad? This kind of logic drives a lot of transphobia, homophobia, racism, and defenses of Kyle Rittenhouse today. The answer to a colonialist logic of "The Aztecs deserved to be conquered because they did human sacrifice and that's bad" is not "The Aztecs didn't do human sacrifice actually, that's just Spanish propaganda" (which is a lie) it should be "We Americans do human sacrifice all the god damn time with our forever wars in the Middle East, we just don't call it that. We use bullets and bombs rather than obsidian knives but we kill way, way more people in the name of our country. What does that make us? Maybe genocide is not okay regardless of if you think the people are weird and scary." It becomes hard to square your ethics of the Innocent Victim and Lying Perpetrator when you see real, complicated, individual-level and group-level interactions, where no group is made up of members who are all completely pure and good, and they don't deserve to be oppressed anyway.

It makes you an unwitting tool of the oppressor. The favorite, favorite allegation transphobes level at trans people, and conservatives at queer people, is that we're lying to push the Gay Agenda. We're liars or deluded fools. If you say something about queer or trans history that's easy to debunk as false, you have permanently hurt your credibility - and the cause of queer history. It makes you easy to write off as a liar or a deluded fool who needs misinformation to make your case. If you say Louisa May Alcott was trans, that's easy to counter with "there is literally no evidence of that, and lots of evidence that she was fine being a woman," and instantly tanks your credibility going forward, so when you then say James Barry was trans and push back against a novel or biopic that treats James Barry as a woman, you get "you don't know what you're talking about, didn't you say Louisa May Alcott was trans too?" TERFs love to call trans people liars - do not hand them ammunition, not even a single bullet. Make sure you can back up what you say with facts and evidence. This is true of homophobes, of racists, of sexists. Be confident of your facts, and have facts to give to the hopeful and questioning learners who you are relating this story to, or the bigots who you are telling off, because misinformation can only hurt you and your cause.

It makes the queer, female, POC, or other marginalized listeners hurt, sad, and betrayed when something they thought was a reflection of their own experiences turns out not to be real. This is a good response to a performance art piece purporting to tell a real story of gay WWI soldiers, until the author revealed it as fiction. Why would you want to set yourself up for disappointment like that? Why would you want to risk inflicting that disappointment and betrayal on anyone else?

It makes it harder to learn the actual truth.

Historical misinformation has consequences, and those consequences are best avoided - by checking your facts, citing your sources, and taking the time and effort to make sure you are actually telling the truth.

[onelittlespiral]

FML: Video

“Shoot, I don’t know about this. Something about watching this feels weird.”

My bro just kept holding my face, “You said you wanted to be one of the bros dude. Just keep watching, this video will tell you everything you need to know”

“Yeah, you said that, but this is just static and nonsense, and something about it has me on edge. Just let me get out of here.”

“But don’t it speak to you? Isn’t there something you want to let out jock boy.”

“I…no, no I… I can’t… stop, what’s happening?”

“Jock boy is about to learn what being a bro is all about. Jock boy wants to listen carefully to his bro and watch the video.”

“No no no… but, it… it sounds so… calm…”

“Yeah jock boy, just like a mind vacation. Just let it happen. Good jock boy.”

“Must… listen… to… bruuuuhhh.”

Sometimes it takes a little convincing, but eventually they all fall. Their eyes grow wide before their muscles go limp and mouths drop open. It usually only takes a little bit for them to process. But when they finally do come too, it’s like a whole different world in there. The first one I did by accident. Found the weird file and sent it to my roommate as a joke. It wasn’t until I got back from class that I saw just how much power I now had.

Gone was the theater kid, in his place was a souped up bro ready to knock back some cold ones, and get sweaty in the gym. It was a surprise when he began rubbing my thigh in the sauna, and pulled me in for a kiss. I melted in his arms as he positioned me on the bench and began stretching me out. I was so relaxed he slid in with no lube, fucking me raw and hard as his tongue kept my mouth distracted from moaning. Thought I just got lucky there, happened to get a gay guy. But I quickly learned for him now, “any hole’s a goal.” And it was confirmed when I tried it with a second guy:

Good old Southern boy, and as straight as they came. Thought he was hot shit in class. Sent him the file when we were on a group project together. By the next day when he came in, he couldn’t add two numbers together with a calculator. He was still smug as hell but in bed, let’s just say he earned it. He was about as thick as an ear of corn, and he knew how to plow a field and spread his seed.

I had tried a couple others since then. A scholarship rival here. A group mate there. A couple disappointing dates that ended up really turning the night around. But my friend had finally gotten curious and started asking some questions. I didn’t need someone to question what was happening. I needed a lifting buddy. This was my first time trying to edit the file to get some different results.

“Hey, bro? What happened last night? I feel hung over as fuck..”

Holy shit he was massive. “Nothing too much bro. You just got fucking shit faced.”

“Huhuhu, yeah,” he gawfed, “sounds right.

It was time to try the trigger and see how much the changes worked, “Hey, jock boy, tell me your name.”

His laughter stopped as his eyes glossed over, “My name is Jack, but my friends just call me Jacked.”

“What do you want more than anything, jock boy?”

“To serve my bros,” he replied.

“Will you do anything for them?”

His mind flickered for a moment. I saw a look of confusion pass over him. He looked down, “Hey, what… WHAT HAPPENED? What did you do-“

I walked up and held his face“JOCK BOY, STOP.”

He tried to fight it, his mind pulling him back to the abyss. But as I watched his body slowly relax, I knew I had won even before he said, “Ye-yeah. Sure thing bro.”

“Jock Boy, will you do anything for your bros?”

His face broke out in a shiteating grin, “Fuck yeah, anything for my bros.”

“New exercise routine. You, face down, ass up. My bed. Now.”

He excitedly ran back to my bedroom. I heard the bed squeal under his weight. Good to know I could edit things. Can’t always let my bros have all the fun.

[firstprincehornyramblings]

Hello and good afternoon everyone, I hope you're all doing well. <3 thank you to @onthewaytosomewhere for the tag. I currently have three WIPs I'm working on and I don't want anyone to perceive me about it, just leave me alone ok. I'm just gonna give you a lil bit of each <3 under the cut so it's not stupidly long, thanks <3

------

secret pwp wip 👀

There was his boyfriend, Alex, in a tank top and shorts, the kind that would usually be used for a trip to the gym. His dark curls were a mess, a kitchen towel thrown over one shoulder, streaks of what appeared to be chocolate over his clothes and even a bit on his face and arms. He looked stressed, bowls were all over the kitchen, flour on the floor, complete with puppy paw prints and even a streak where David had tried to lick it up. Part of a cracked egg sat on the counter, a drip of that same egg running down the side. Henry’s mouth hung open in awe as he surveyed it all, empty opened chocolate wrappers and a sink with even more dishes. There was also an open and empty box of store-bought brownie mix, some of that spilled along the countertop as well. “I was trying to make brownies.” “Did… you add the dynamite too early-”

-

doctor alex and patient henry 🩺

Henry had gone toe to toe with half of his family for this relationship. He’d spent hours arguing with his grandmother, listening to his brother’s droning about ‘growing up’. He’d risked being disowned, he’d ensured that every holiday for the rest of his life would be uncomfortable, flaunted his scholarship, and how he didn’t need any money from his family. All of this was done in the name of being with this dreadful boy. At the time, Charlie had been lovely, polite and charming. He was always punctual on their dates, brought Henry roses, said the most romantic things. He’d seemed perfect. It had only taken a few months for Henry to see it for what it was, a façade. In some way, part of him did still love his boyfriend, it was his first real boyfriend after all. But the side of Henry, stubborn and determined, was what couldn’t let this go. He couldn’t prove them right. This was not ‘just a phase’ or some ‘fleeting whim’ like his grandmother had insisted. Henry knew he was gay; he’d always known. Okay, so, the first boy he picked was a bad choice. Perhaps he’d have chosen better if he’d been able to date as a teenager like everyone else had. Maybe if he hadn’t lost his virginity to some stupid jock behind the lacrosse shed in year eleven, he’d have better taste now.  But he’d finally gotten his entire family adjusted to the fact that he liked men, he wasn’t about to end this relationship now. He could hear the lecture already, the guilt trip about ‘putting everyone through it, right after your father’s death, just to break up with this boy in a year’s time’. So, for now, he would let it happen. He would pretend to be more shocked than disappointed and hurt when he found out his boyfriend cheated, yet again, and he would get tested, again.

- kissingchambers (🤭) pwp 💊

“I- literally all of that was so much. I uhm,” Marco shook his head, “I don’t know uhm, my friends want weed and they said finding you would be quicker than going to a dispensary.” “Mm, see, they sent you, because you’re hot,” he was standing up now, shorter than Marco, but just as broad, “They think I’ll give you a discount.” “You… don’t have to.” “I will if you let me do a line off your abs.” “What? Is… that a joke? I- maybe I should just g-” “Relax,” the other man sighed, with a half eye roll, “Let’s start from the beginning, hi, I’m Elliot, nice to meet you.” “Hi Elliot, I uhm, I’m Marco.” “Hi Marco, notice how I didn’t touch you when I introduced myself? See, I can be normal.”

—

🏷️(no pressure tags darlings)

@taste-thewaste @henrysfox @mikibwrites @eusuntgratie

@softboynick @catdadacd @sheepywritesfics @henryspearl

@basil-bird @caressthosecheekbones @henfox @anti-homophobia-cheese

@redlipstickandglitter

@thesleepyskipper @tailsbeth-writes @thighzp @lfg1986-2

+ literally anyone else I'm tired and forgot. (double vaccines yesterday is kicking my ass) or anyone who sees this and wants to tag me, I love reading yall's stuff. <3

[ultimateloserboy]

rare shadow the hedgehog post but i actually dislike shipping him with any of the girls and heres why (please hear me out chat) (no hate btw just an opinion)

first of all, rouge specifically is implied to have a sister relationship to him. its implied multiple times, especially in SA2 that he sees her as a sister the way he saw maria, and when shes in danger he feels the same fear of losing a sister. ignoring that, i feel, takes away from both of their characters and is kinda weird.

second of all, expanding on my previous point— i think shadows deep respect for women and girls is a huge part of him and it doesnt stem from attraction at all which i think is actually VERY important. he sees every woman as an extension of his sister, while her killers were men, and all villains afterwards are ALSO more men! he trusts women and girls naturally, while he distrusts every man he comes across. this doesn’t necessarily mean he sees every girl AS maria and every man AS GUN or other villains, but he does see them in similar light.

shadow has seen the cruelty of men compared to the cruelty of women and from his perspective, women have only been positive influences, people to admire— while the enemy is always a man. i feel turning that to attraction takes the sentiment away of WHY he respects women so highly in the first place. not saying he cant like women, i just feel none of the girl characters hes close to would work without taking this factor out of him. he cares for them so heavily out of deep respect and i feel its kinda disappointing to change that to attraction. it defeats the whole point.

and before anyone says “ok sonadow shipper!” or some dumb shit, the reason why i dont mind him being paired with men isnt cuz i just dont like straight ships or something stupid like that. i will defend hunter and willow from the owl house until i die. and also yuri 4 life dont get it twisted. BUT. shadow just doesnt fit with women in that way, he is gods strongest feminist soldier and i just dont think hed be attracted to them out of such deep respect he just wouldnt consider it. and you could easily argue hes aroace all together. however, with men specifically he doesnt have that deep relationship and respect that i explained prior. i feel it takes away no real meaning to pair him with a man. if anything, it could add a meaning onto his distrust and him learning to trust or something gay like that.

basically, i just enjoy seeing a male character so influenced by the girls around him and NOT wanting to bang them in any sense. i find that very important to me and i get it if you dont care but its still sweet to see.

finally tho.. im gonna piss people off here but the sonic fandom is very ship-brained and i need to put it into perspective for yall that both shadow and sonic would be 20 when amy would be 16. i get that she definitely isnt always younger than them, but she is in plenty of versions of herself and is intended to be half the time, so i just dont get how you can bring yourself to ship them. but maybe thats just me. ive always found that to be uncomfortable even when i was little watching sonic X. i just dont feel comfortable pairing most of the cast together, especially amy specifically due to even the most sliver of a question abt her age making me feel weird. its honestly kinda funny that, mostly, the only characters that are the same age to be shipped are all men. again, im not fujo-brained, its just a coincidence with the characters specifically that i think shipping the guys is genuinely more appropriate MOST of the time. (not always!)

idk i dont think anyone is terrible for shipping shadow with the girl characters but it does make me super uncomfortable and i just wanted to expand on that cuz i like talking here and seeing others thoughts or whatever. dont get it twisted tho, some of you ARE weirdos and i wont tolerate you. BUT. thats not rlly what this is about and its not all of you. please dont misunderstand

[sparkle-fiend]

Truth or Dare, part 2

Continued from this post, inspired by a prompt by @kedreeva

———————-

Eddie watches Robin jump up to chase after her best friend. Everyone else is left staring, wide-eyed and stunned into silence. It makes his skin itch.

He exhales into his cupped palm and takes an exaggerated sniff. “Guess I shouldn’t have had those onions for lunch, huh?”

It doesn’t get much of a laugh. With a shrug, he drops back down to his place on the floor, folding his long legs underneath him. He feels off-balance, caught off guard. He wasn’t expecting Steve to react that badly.

He plucks at his jeans, worrying the frayed edge of the hole over his right knee, and chances a glance at Gareth. His friend is staring at him with one eyebrow raised pointedly, as if to say See? I told you so.

Which is true. Gareth has been trying to convince him to stay away from Steve Harrington ever since the first day he walked into Eddie’s hospital room and found the other boy sitting by his bedside. Eddie slouches, shoulders curling inward as he looks away. The hole in his jeans starts to unravel a little wider.

Vickie looks uncomfortable. “Should we go after them?”

Gareth snorts rudely. Jeff, ever the peacekeeper, shoots him a warning look and says, “I think maybe we should keep playing. I’m sure they’ll come back when they’re ready.”

The only one that comes back is Robin, sliding into her place in the circle with downcast eyes. Vickie leans over to whisper something in her ear, and Robin shakes her head. She’s clearly upset. 

“Steve just had a, uh… migraine. It came on really quickly, so he had to go home.”

She is such a bad liar.

They try to keep playing a few more rounds, but nobody’s heart is in it anymore. Claire is the first to leave, muttering goodbye to Vickie and ignoring the rest of them. It’s pretty clear she was only suffering their presence to try and get close to Steve.

Good riddance, Eddie thinks with a sneer. He’d barely restrained himself from dumping punch all over the presumptuous little flute player. She really had some nerve - allll the girls had a crush on King Steeeeeve…

Nauseating.

Vickie makes a show of checking her watch next. “I guess it is getting late. My mom wanted me home by 11.”

“Yeah, we should go too,” Eddie says. He waves goodbye to the girls and heads for the door at a fast clip, the rest of the guys following without question.

It seems cooler outside, away from the press of bodies and the stifling air – thick with the scent of sweat and alcohol. Eddie takes a deep breath. Someone’s been smoking nearby, which makes him crave a cigarette of his own.

“I don’t think we should drive yet,” Jeff says. “That punch was pretty strong. Why don’t we walk down to the diner and get some fries?”

It’s a good idea, so they set off down the sidewalk. Gareth waits for Dave and Jeff to pull ahead a little before drifting close enough to nudge Eddie’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry about that man. I really hoped he would prove me wrong, but…”

Eddie nods, fishing the crumpled pack of Camels out of his back pocket. Steve’s not the guy Eddie thought he was – it’s disappointing, to say the least. If that was his reaction to kissing a guy on a dare, then god knows how he would respond if he ever found out Eddie’s gay.

“Yeah,” he mumbles as he clamps a cigarette between his lips, patting his pockets for his lighter.

“But hey, at least you know he’s not worth your time now, right? Better to find out before you fell ass over tits and got your heart broken.”

Too late for that Gare-bear… too late for that.

“Sure.”

Eddie smokes his cigarette, avoiding any further conversation. When they reach the diner, he orders some cheese fries, picking off the crispy bits of cheese before he starts shoving food around the plate to make it look like he’s eating. The guys chat about band practice and the summer D&D campaign, but Eddie doesn’t have much to add.

He keeps replaying the Truth or Dare game in his head. He’s positive he didn’t let anything slip. Eddie is an experienced DM – he’s good at controlling his expressions. He never gives anything away when his players do something to throw him off guard; and he’s sure he didn’t give anything away tonight. So it can’t be his inconvenient crush that made Steve uncomfortable.

Everything was lighthearted and casual… and Steve seemed okay with it at first. Shit, the way he was staring at Eddie’s mouth and licking his lips, it almost seemed like he was into it. Eddie nearly lost it at that point – he had to cover by pretending to swoon when he felt himself start to blush.

Then Eddie moved in for the actual kiss, and Steve pushed him away. He looked at Eddie with this… awful expression on his face and said he couldn’t do it. 

Eddie assumed at the time that Steve lost his nerve and got grossed out. But when he pictures the look on Steve’s face in that moment, it doesn’t seem right. What was that expression?

The guys finish up and they all pay for their food. Gareth is clearly still concerned, shooting worried little glances his way as they walk, so Eddie stays between Jeff and Dave on the way back to the cars.

He appreciates his friend’s concern, and he knows Gareth means well, but he really just wants to go home and lick his wounds in private.

Eddie makes it to his van and takes off while Jeff and Gareth are debating whose turn it is to drive Dave home. He cranks the stereo louder than usual, trying to drown out his thoughts with some Black Sabbath, singing along until his voice cracks. His ears are still ringing a little when he creeps into the silent house, navigating by the light Wayne left on in the kitchen.

With the money from the government payout, his uncle doesn’t have to work nights anymore – which means for the first time in his life, Eddie has to be careful not to wake the old man up when he comes home late. He kicks off his Reeboks at the door and tiptoes up the stairs, skipping the creaky step.

He goes through his nighttime routine on autopilot: brushing his teeth, massaging lotion into all his scars, and braiding back his hair. To prevent split ends - a tip he got from Steve “the Hair” Harrington himself (Eddie can’t escape him – thoughts of Steve permeate every aspect of his life at this point).

He changes into an old pair of pajama pants and flops onto the bed, arms and legs stretched out like a starfish. Sleep, he thinks, shutting his eyes firmly. Sleep, sleep, sleep.

Thirty minutes later, he’s still staring up at his shadowed ceiling.

Steve looked… sad. That’s what it was. He looked sad and pained when he said, “I can’t do this.” And he said something else…

Not like this.

Not like this? But that… would imply it was the situation that was the problem. Right? Not the kissing. 

“Holy shit!” Eddie yelps, sitting upright so fast his side twinges. He claps a hand over his mouth to prevent any further outbursts. 

He assumed the worst, because that’s what he always does – better to be prepared then disappointed; that’s been his motto for years. But Steve didn’t storm off because he was homophobic.

He wanted to kiss Eddie! He must have – just not in front of all their friends. Not as part of a game, or as a joke. 

Eddie jumps out of bed and starts to pace, filled with a restless, almost manic energy. He’s worried about Steve - wishing he’d gone after the other boy right away, at the party. Is he still upset? He looked upset.

Eddie considers the phone – he even picks up the receiver and starts to dial Steve’s number, before he gets a grip and hangs up. It’s 2 o’clock in the morning, he can’t call this late; Steve would probably panic and assume someone had been hurt. 

When he can’t take it anymore, Eddie decides to go for a drive. He grabs Wayne’s keys instead of his own – the truck is quieter than his old rattletrap of a van, and less conspicuous. He drives aimlessly, taking random side-streets and circling cul-de-sacs; only to wind up in front of Steve’s house.

There are lights on inside.

Eddie pulls into the driveway and parks the truck. He contemplates the house for a while, nearly changing his mind twice before he finally gets out and makes his way to the front door. He knocks – not too loudly, just in case Steve is sleeping (even though the lights are on). 

It takes less than a minute for Steve to come to the door; long enough for Eddie to realize he’s still in his pajamas – too fast for him to chicken out and run back to the truck.

Steve looks exhausted: his hair is messier than Eddie’s ever seen it before, and the soft skin around his eyes appears swollen and tender. It hurts Eddie’s heart to see it.

Steve watches him cautiously. “Eddie? What are you doing here – is everything okay?”

“You said… not like this,” Eddie says abruptly. He cringes at the blunt approach – he’s usually better at thinking on his feet than this.

“Eddie…”

“I just want to understand Steve. Please? What did you mean?”

Steve gnaws at his bottom lip before sighing heavily. “I like you Eddie. Like, romantically. I’ve wanted to kiss you for weeks now. But I couldn’t do it… if it wasn’t for real.” He drags his hands roughly through his hair, mussing it up even more. “I’m so tired of being King Steve – pretending like meaningless sex and drunk make outs are enough, falling in love with people who don’t love me back… I can’t do it anymore.”

Eddie is reeling. He doesn’t know what to focus on first. Steve likes him? Romantically?! And he’s wanted to kiss him for weeks. Eddie might need to sit down.

Steve is chewing at his lip again – he’ll draw blood if he keeps it up. He looks so hesitant, so uncharacteristically insecure. 

Because you’re standing here like an idiot after he spilled his heart out to you, Eddie thinks. Say something!

“Steve… Truth or Dare.”

“What?”

“Pick one.”

Steve looks like he’s thinking about shutting the door in Eddie’s face. Finally he says, “Truth,” in a grudging tone.

According to the game, Eddie should ask Steve a question. But Steve has been truthful enough tonight – it’s Eddie’s turn now. 

“I’ve wanted to kiss you a lot longer than just a few weeks. Probably since I saw you tear that demobat apart. But it was in the hospital - when you came to visit every day, looking after me and Max and the rest of the kids – I think that’s when I fell in love.”

The tiniest little, “Oh,” escapes Steve’s mouth. Eddie has a few seconds to worry that the love confession was too much - and then a smile replaces Steve’s look of shock, dawning bright and beautiful.

There’s no more pretense required when they come together, lips meeting softly.

Eddie is so glad that Steve stopped him at the party. Because now they have this moment, this perfect moment – standing in the silvered dark, two souls alone together under the moon. He gets to enjoy the warm press of Steve’s lips against his without any prying eyes or teasing; gets to slide his fingers daringly under the hem of Steve’s thin sleep shirt.

Steve breaks the kiss with a gasp of laughter when Eddie hits a ticklish spot just below his ribs. They pause to smile at one another, foreheads pressed together.

“Truth or Dare,” Steve says.

“Well, truth has been a pretty good choice so far…”

Steve reaches up to press a gentle palm against Eddie’s cheek, scraping his thumb over the stubble. “I love you too.”

Truth or Dare is officially Eddie’s new favorite game.

————————-

Tag list (I tried to include everyone that requested a tag - apologies if I missed anyone)

@manycoloureddays @vecnuthy @remuslupinisthevoiceofgod @proficientatfreakness @sadcanadianwinter @farfaras @makewavesandwar @grtwdsmwhr @xwildangel @electrick-marionnett @swimmingbirdrunningrock

[phanb]

Can we… can we talk about how underrated Kakashi's relationship with Gai is by everyone?

I start my essay by stating that I have been visiting many pages about Kakashi (biography, psychological analysis, etc.) and many of them have disappointed me by barely mentioning the relationship these two have. Kakashi, at first, didn't like Gai much for his boisterous way of being, but over time they hit it off, enough that Gai, a fairly confident person who rarely expresses any negative sentiment, confesses to Kakashi the shame he has that his father is still a genin. One would expect, with Obito not yet dead, that Kakashi would mock or belittle Gai, but instead, he, the prodigy of his generation and a cold genius, tells Gai that his father is "the coolest shinobi out there." This is incredible knowing that he was a little shit with everyone.

Changing the subject by mentioning Obito, can I also add a perspective that many people often confuse? Both boys considered themselves to be Kakashi's rivals, but for different reasons; Obito was constantly jealous and envious of his teammate's successes and even the attention he received from his crush (Rin), while Gai never felt anything like it towards Kakashi, rather seeing the boy as a personal ideal of a perfect shinobi that he wanted to achieve and surpass, without any animosity in between. Gai constantly cheered Kakashi up and always seemed happy to see him, while Obito, even though he cared for him (Kakashi), he always felt less than him, which made him very angry with his teammate.

Making a timeskip after his and Rin's death, a rather significant scene of what Gai represents for Kakashi is when he is sent on a mission by Minato to protect him in case something happens to him. Minato is absolutely right since Kakashi, in the middle of the mission, has a panic attack that causes an enemy to almost kill him, being saved by Gai who soon comforts him. What can be taken for granted is that Gai somehow managed to calm him down, surprisingly.

When Minato and Kushina die, Kakashi is left alone and unappreciated in a rush to fibally die. At this point we know that they both have a good and strong relationship apart from fighting each other, so it's no surprise when the only one who still believes there's good in Kakashi is Gai, who tries his best to help him, to the point of begging the Hokage to let him into Ambu so he could help and protect Kakashi.

In an intense mission in which Gai watches as Kakashi kills with unwavering coldness, he knows that the best option to get Kakashi out of the black hole he's stuck in is to get him out of Ambu. He is so worried about Kakashi that he constantly makes demands to get him out, to the point where the Hokage, knowing that Kakashi is an invaluable asset in Ambu and an extraordinary ninja, grants his request.

How are there people who believe that these two are just "friends"? And I'm not talking in romantic terms (not now). I'm talking about them believing they don't have "a strong connection" or that Gai is just an "old friend or close acquaintance". It's almost insulting.

Many believe that Gai is the only one who participates in the challenges and that Kakashi doesn't like them, but we know that they did more than a hundred challenges in the course of their lives. If Kakashi found them ridiculous or wanted Gai to leave him alone, he could. He was stronger than Gai, he could even disappear or manipulate him into leaving, but he accepted those challenges, he even keeps score! He likes them, he enjoys doing challenges; he is as into it as Gai.

They both have fun together no matter what. The two talks, understand each other and know each other well. They are not just "rivals" or "just friends"; Gai is a very important part of Kakashi's life, he is the one who kept him away from death (by suicide or being murdered), he is the one with whom Kakashi feels safe enough to faint from exhaustion in the face of danger (the attack of Itachi) or to guide him when he is blind. Despite his attitude towards his friend, Kakashi knows that Gai is precious to him; many times he has protected him, encouraged him or cared for him, and not just because he is a ninja comrade.

End of my essay. Talk to me if you want to continue discussing or talking about why Kakagai is so fascinating and amazing.

[asterjaxx]

i've been watching a lot of movies recently so i'm gonna make a big post about what i think about each one i've watched so far so i can refer back to it if i ever need it

also warnings for possible spoilers for each movie below

things no one cares about under the cut

NOTTING HILL 1999 — dir. Roger Michell

I LOVED NOTTING HILL could watch this movie over and over forever holy shit i love hugh grant. also julia roberts has a very big mouth like if i see her in a different movie and she looks like completely different but i'll recognise her mouth like is that weird- SO CUTE sometimes things didn't quite sequence together ? like there were times when it wasn't quite clear how long had passed between the two scenes, but that doesn't really bother me. not a lot of exposition but again doesn't bother me. just a nice fluffy romantic film :) also has so many funny moments that are actually funny not cringe all around i love this movie so much one of my favourites ever i think

DIRTY DANCING 1987 — dir. Emile Ardolino

in short; not for me lol i can't stand patrick swayze's accent i'm sorry. didn't even watch the whole movie because i was so not interested. it's cute when he's teaching her to do the dance and stuff and i liked when they were in the water trying to do the lift but like that was the only memorable thing for me. hair reminded me of the heathers (which is one of my absolute favourite movies) but other than that it wasn't really anything crazy to me ? just an 80s movie that my mom likes

BRIDGET JONES' DIARY 2001 — dir. Sharon Maguire

good movie. mark kinda pisses me off but he's a good guy in the end so i can live with it HUGH GRANT !!!!1 though his character was a fucking ass i love when he gets beaten up not toooooo fluffy romantic, but still romantic. FUNNY, bridget jones can't get a fucking break and it's hilarious "bridget jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs. mum... hi." solid movie i really want to watch the other two (i'll add to this list later when i watch them) and there's a fourth one coming

MAURICE 1987 — dir. James Ivory

ugh gay people ^JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE i liked this movie. i loooove things set in earlier times but like i wouldn't call this a period piece ? like it's not that far in the past, only 1910s, but then again that was still a hundred years ago. ANYWAY hugh grant again (are you seeing a theme?) ew he was DISGUSTING with the slicked back hair and the moustache EW jokes ugh he was so cute i liked the first half of the movie, the second half was kinda eh to me?? i thought maurice and clive would like have a better resolution between them so i was kinda underwhelmed didn't really like maurice's actor's accent LMAO i am awful ending was kiiiinda disappointing to me i thought there'd be more but it was sweet. I DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE DICK AND BALLS !!!!! i literally almost screamed (no i didn't i handled it like a mature person) anyway yeah this movie's good, but ew gay people I'M JOKING

04/07 UPDATE ————————————————————————

LOVE ACTUALLY 2003 — dir. Richard Curtis

"when the planes hit the twin towers..." HUGH GRANT anyway i loved this movie, super cute. it seemed like there was a lot going on but it was done in a way that it wasn't confusing. funny but not cringe. it's a win for me if hugh grant's in it hate the american president guy, hate harry's voice he sounds like a pedophile ROWAN ATKINSON JUMPSCARE ... TWICE billy mack can suck balls i hated that guy but overall super cute lovey movie but not boringly lovey. story between all of the characters was great and i liked that they all had a nice resolve between them :)

05/07 UPDATE ————————————————————————

BRIDGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON 2004 — dir. Beeban Kidron

when i finished bridget jones' diary, and found out there were two more movies (and another in the works) i was a little apprehensive. i thought "what more could possible happen?" but this is bridget jones this movie was super cute actually ! GOD daniel cleaver is an asshole i hate him but hugh grant....... i like that mark and daniel fight again that was fun my god she fucking goes to jail LIKE A WERGIN overall; jesus christ what a movie. i enjoyed it though. I DID NOT EXPECT THAT REBECCA WAS A LESBIAN but then again i have a cousin named rebecca that's queer like the first movie, not super fluffy romantic, but still romantic. actually funny. actually want to kill myseslf out of second-hand embarrassment at times but that's the bridget jones charm

06/07 UPDATE————————————————————————

FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL 1994 — dir. Mike Newell

THIS MOVIE WAS SO SWEET AWWWW I FEEL SO SILLY AFTER WATCHING THAT :D rowan atkinson jumpscare once again (i knew he was in this movie) aawww man i don't have much to say about it other than it's so sweet and romantic and i just love it it's beautiful :( my brain is mush after watching it

08/07 UPDATE————————————————————————

BRIDGET JONES' BABY 2016 — dir. Sharon Maguire

holy shit ED SHEERAN JUMPSCARE!!!! oh my god i want to beat the shit out of jack. did not expect that daniel fucking died LMAOOOOO but also (massive spoiler) he's not actually dead i hope he comes back in the fourth movie giggles and kicks feet i heard that in the fourth one mark dies so bridget is alone so like maybe daniel can redeem himself when i saw mark and bridget getting married i was like oh thank god they can actually get married and daniel can't fuck her but never mind anyway i loved this movie it was funny and very bridget jones

um i forgot to write the date oopsie———————————————

SENSE AND SENSIBILITY 1995 — dir. Ang Lee

this movie made my heart hurt i was surprised at how many actors i'd seen previously in other films. like i knew hugh grant was in it (that's why i wanted to watch it lol), but i didn't expect the guy from love actually and bridget jones' mother. oh my god it all hurts the more i watch it hurts i want to cry for elinor and marianne and oh my goddd. also that fucking old bitch is so annoying i forgot her name is she mrs jennings i think but like holy shit shut the fuck up!!!!! ugh i love period media GOOD MOVIE 👍 I LOVED IT but holy shit i am too gen z for how long it was i was rolling to try and find something to keep my attention but also i wanted to watch it so bad the ending was good i liked the resolve like it was actually good i didn't expect anyone to get a happy ending LMAOOO THE MOVIE IS 2 HOURS AND 16 MINUTES. the TENSION between elinor and miss steele oh my god, WHEN THE THREE OF THEM WERE IN THE SAME ROOM i wanted to scream holy shit HLEP ME MISS STEELE'S FACE AS MARIANNE RATTLES TO EDWARD AND THEN HELP ME WHEN SHE TELLS HIS SISTER(i wrote this section while watching the movie) ugh hugh grant my looooove oh my god that man is older than my FATHER also they use the word "creature" a lot to refer to people but that's probably just the 1800s i guess "my heart is... and always will be... yours." AEUUUGHUGUHHUG

01/08 UPDATE————————————————————————

ABOUT A BOY 2002 — dir. Paul Weitz and Chris Weitz

at first i thought this movie was gonna be boring and all that, but i ended up really enjoying it! it actually was really sweet, despite not seeming like it'd be. also the guy that plays the boy marcus is the voice of jon in the new garfield movie ??????????? I'M NOT JOKING LOOK IT UP but yeah i actually really liked this movie i watched it with my mom and i enjoyed it not really much to say except it turns into a really touching movie and it's actually really nice it makes me want to not hate kids but i still do anyway

14/08 UPDATE————————————————————————

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS? 2009 — dir. Marc Lawrence

you know,,, i'd want to kill meryl too. ugh i love hugh grant oh my god ughhhh i like the bear :) and the horses :) i don't have much to say about this movie LMAO i feel like most of it wasn't super memorable but i did enjoy it, so less rom more com but i mean that was the point. still sweet ending they finally get a kid. also is that a thing? that a kid can be alive and in the world but not yet have a name? like bro's gotta have a birth certificate with something on it right? i don't know i've never had kids (thank god) and also maybe it was chill like that or maybe it's just a movie and it's just nice and details like that don't matter ^_^

19/08 UPDATE————————————————————————

MUSIC AND LYRICS 2007 — dir. Marc Lawrence

OH MY GOD i wasn't expecting to like this movie that much but holy shit actually that ending was so sweet i cried i said i wasn't gonna lose my head but then pop goes my heart (pop goes my heart) i wasn't gonna fall in love again but then pop goes my heart ALL I WANNA DO IS FIND A WAY BACK INTO LOOOOVE ugh I WAS SO HEARTBROKEN WHEN HE TOLD HER SHE WAS LIKE THE CHARACTER IN THAT BOOK THAT GUY WROTE ABOUT HER LIKE NAOOOOOO but holy shit yeah i liked this movie actually it was actually funny not cringe and also hugh grant so 👍

27/09 UPDATE————————————————————————

NINE MONTHS 1995 — dir. Chris Columbus

holy shit this movie LMAO it's like what the fuck is happening butlike the entire movie hugh grant of course <3 silly fucking movie i love it it's so chaotic but like sweet? kinda? the end is it's like i don't even know how to describe this movie it's just something yo u have to see for yourself but i enjoyed it so silly i love silly i'm autistic

28/09 UPDATE————————————————————————

TWO WEEKS NOTICE 2002 — dir. Marc Lawrence

i'm not crazy about this movie but i didn't not like it if there was nothing else i wouldn't mind watching it, it has a sorta sweet ending but yeah,, not really my kinda style but i didn't mind it ^_^

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOUR AMONG THIEVES — dir. John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein

i actually liked this movie more than i thought i would :) hugh grant baddie era no but i actually really liked this movie i don't watch a lotta fantasy stuff but this really got the gears in my mind going i liked it ugh the storyline is actually really good and actually funny i really liked seeing hugh grant get hit in the face with a potato that was good too

[brookiidookiii]

oughhh jock! jock i love you jock. for the ask

Oh thank you for this. They’re my childhood OTP so I do have a lottttt to say. Sommeliershipping permanently doomed me to only enjoy rivals to lovers dynamics

1. What made you ship it?

First off they are constantly touching each others chests MY GOD. Not to mention how often they get up in each others faces holy shit.

That is ZOKE levels of closeness. Jesus

I think you have to be dumb to not see why people ship it. Also that whole “need to be dominated” scene with dawn, then jo shows up right after that and bosses him around. COME ON. Then the rest of that scene and how it played out. Him poking her chest and then she pushes him away in a way that’s like “oh I’ll show you who’s boss.” Squat thruster ‼️‼️‼️ (why did she do that) Plus she seems to have genuine respect for him which is really nice. She’s given him the most nicknames out of everyone too.

Also 2/5 of bricks confessionals are about jo. The other three times he’s just talking about himself. I thought that’d be fun to mention. Jo wants to feel good about herself and brick wants to be a fashion designer and he can make her cute clothes i think.

I am never going to let anyone ever forget about that “maybe brick and jo wanna kiss and make up?” line UGHHH. Even Chris low key shipped it. There’s just sooo much to them. Also comedy potential with lightning thinking Jo’s a gay twink the whole time and idk maybe there could be something with jock and lightning. I’m convinced at least a few animators shipped them.

Just WIWJWJEN there’s so so so much. She’s the only person who convinced him to go against his code. That man is devoted. And then when she pulled him out of that grave and there was music playing and they zoomed in on them holding hands.. I initially shipped them because when I was younger I was looking for fanart and came across a fake screenshot of them kissing and 9 year old me beloved it was real 🥲 you can imagine my disappointment when they didn’t end up smooching. In the finale they’re constantly next to each other too. There’s way too much going on between them, I also take Jo’s dream about letting a guy win because she found him ‘attractive’ as a jock crumb. + they have a good ship name.

That rock climbing scene where brick talks about his rock wall climbing badge or something and jo seems genuinely impressed for a moment, then he goes on and says how he dislocated his hip and jo is like “oh never mind he’s weird.” LMAOOO. Brick really wanted to show off there huh. They’re both so fucking stupid iwhwnsnens

Plus we know Jo’s type is dark hair and cleft chins. She really needs to kiss her rivals okay

2. What are your favorite things about this ship?

Basically everything I mentioned before. Bricks “need to be dominated” basically confirms that jo would be his type, what can I say. And he calls her ma’am, and is just generally very respectful even when she gets under his skin. I really really love how jo tries to get under his skin, it’s so fun. And brick is slowly losing his mind. Also he didn’t vote for her in ep7, he voted for lightning, and we know that because jo got her marshmallow first, meaning lightning got one vote from brick. That is soo. Yeah. He probably would feel bad if he voted for her. He probably didn’t vote for her in ep4 either.

And he breaks his code for her. Like, his entire thing is never leave a man behind, and jo convinces him to leave everyone behind. And that causes his first elimination but MANNNNN…. He really really respects her. And I really like women who bully their boyfriends, it’s so fun. There’s probably so much more that I could say about them that I forgot to add.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

When people write their platonic dynamic in fanfics is always so. Meh. They treat it like she just harasses him but he views her as an equal, and she sees him as a competitor she can actually have banter with. Also please stop calling them mlm/wlw solidarity. I’m not saying that because I ship them but because she has made it her life goal to make his as miserable as possible. HOSTILITY.

I’ll make my own analysis on their rivalry, not to be shippy but so people just understand how they interact because a lot of people don’t get it.

Jock is very very special to me. The only way I can enjoy m/f ships is if they’re fighting 24/7. It’s awesome. Plus he’s also the only man I can ship with Jo tbh. Other m/f Jo ships make me like ehhhhh I dunno

[swordbeliever]

I don't really have anywhere safer to ask this and you seem wise. So I just wanted to know if you or any others who have transitioned from ftm or started to present more masculine have had this experience. I have had people treat me almost impure or dirty after they find out I am trans masc. I get this mostly from cis people but also from fellow gay and trans people sometimes and don't understand where this is coming from. I feel pretty lonely in the community and wonder if others have also had this happen? Also how to build confidence and friendships even with this happening?

(Apologizes if this is an inappropriate question please don't feel like you need to respond)

hi sorry for the super late reply anon i hope u do see this...

first thanks for saying i seem wise LOL i dont really think i am but i've been out for a long time and have talked to many other transmascs in my time...

i definitely get the feeling youre talking about. being / becoming a man is an incredibly isolating experience, imo. and it can be even moreso difficult being a minority & a man. i recently talked to a cis guy friend about our experiences of the intersections of masculinity and our minority identities (my queerness and his blackness) and he shared a lot of the same feelings - its difficult to talk about our issues out of fear that we could be seen as belittling women's experiences, its disappointing to see our fellow men lash out at women because of this feeling, and just... its hard.

through it all i have found solace in the people who treat me as a whole person rather than a specific identity. my transness is incredibly important to me, of course, but it sucks when i feel like i have to justify my presence in a space by clarifying it, or when its all people want to see about me. i have found a lot of people through the years who see me for myself and love me regardless of whatever identity i or they hold. i do prefer to try to make friends in queer spaces, but honestly, ive been most successful at it in some places that are less expected, especially at work.

some of the best and kindest men i've met have been in these ways. the 45 year old ex-punk rocker handyman, the ex-football player son of a mechanic from rural ohio, the guy i worked with at subway who outright told me i was the first trans man he'd ever talked to. i personally always find workplace friendships the easiest to make since we're next to each other 8 hours a day several days a week.

i have absolutely no idea if any of this makes sense, im halfway through a shift at work rn and its past midnight and im out of coffee. i hope this helps in some way, if anyone wants to add anything for anon or smth feel free :>

[transxfiles]

hii bailor how are you. have you read or watched anything cool recently. i just started fellow travelers (the book) and it's making me feel so crazy i had to put it down and like go walk around to feel normal again

HIIIIIIII i have been doing so mcuh with work and art and everything so i haven't done much reading since june (i read like 7 books in a row i was doing so well) BUT i have been watching movies bc i found out that the local arthouse theater gives a really good student discount. also i have been hanging out at the video store and befriending the ppl who work the front desk there so i've watched a bunch of fun movies recently. SO!! some movie recs from things i've watched recently

humanist vampire seeking consensual suicidal person (2023)

dark comedy film about a young vampire who cannot hunt for food bc she cant morally justify killing people. after her parents stop hunting for her (finally forcing her to confront her fear of taking human life) she realizes that she might be able to work around her issues when she meets a suicidal teenager who wants her to kill him. genuinely such a sweet coming of age movie. and VERY silly. and beautifully filmed.

latter days (2003)

found the dvd at the local tax evading secondhand bookstore and bought it as a joke but genuinely this movie was very good. how do i even begin to describe latter days. blowjob scene in the first 5 minutes. the "sweet home alabama" screenwriter's passion project that he described as him trying to figure out what his repressed mormon past-self and his young newly out queer self would've done if they'd met. the answer is gay sex. apparently. this is an insane movie. i really enjoyed it but tbh i had the unique viewing experience of watching the movie with my old homoerotic best friend from high school so idk if my opinions on it are valid. they may indeed be tainted by that viewing experience. some insane fucking one liners though.

scream, queen! my nightmare on elm street (2019)

really great documentary for queer horror fans. follows the life of mark patton, the man who is most well-known for being the "first male scream queen" after he starred in nightmare on elm street 2: freddy's revenge. this was a video store rental and did not disappoint! experienced a positive jumpscare when i heard the first voiceover and was like "WAIT!!! cecil gershwin-palmer??????" it is indeed voiced by mr cecil welcometonightvale himself, cecil baldwin 👍

this ask also gives me an excuse to share some of my journal pages about movies i've seen recently so !

(+ bonus photo of my latter days dvd. insane fucking movie. btw fun fact the sticker on this dvd says 3 dollar but i did in fact get it for free bc the bookstore ladies love me. so)

i should add fellow travelers to my TBR probably,,, i need to read again. im always saying that when i haven't read for a while but it's true. i've been reading so many theater related nonfiction books recently for work and school and independent study and stuff but i gotta read A Narrative again soon.

i also need to go insane over A Narrative again and i think that'd do the trick........

rn i'm reading "standby" which is this book about theatrical design theory and it's so SO good but a little dense. i will say the last book that i devoured was andrew rannells' book of essays "too much is not enoguh" i read that in like 3 days and that was me pacing myself. it also got the stamp of approval from my mom who i lent the book to pretty much as soon as i saw her after i finished it.

also read this weird script a while ago called "the last thing i'll ever write" by adam lauver but i really don't know how i feel about that one. it was fun to read in the moment bc reading it was like putting together a puzzle of trying to figure out how i would actually put the show on a stage but idk if i;d recommend it. it IS weird art though and i do love weird art.

ive also been watching falsettos pretty frequently. idk why. its been scratching a theatre itch in my brain.

[journalsouppe]

My spread of one of my top 3 favorite written works made -- Congruent (and Isometry) by @sincosma! This is the only fanfic I have journaled and wow this fic is truly incredible. It's always amazing finding a piece of fiction that just connects with you completely, and I'm so glad I found it by chance (or was it fate?) from a beautiful piece of artwork by Art Nevoa.

Thank you to sincosma for writing such a beautiful story and it just makes me much more excited to be in the Sheik zine! And spoilers for anyone who hasn't read Congruent!!

Writing typed below! (plus an extra blurb on the review and some other fanart links)

This review is structured more for myself detailing what made me love the fic throughout the story, which is different than a review I'd post on AO3 as this is for me to recall what I was thinking at the time of reading the fic. It was only around this time that I considered posting my spreads online so this was mostly a personal review! If I spent more time on it I would have worded some things differently but alas, it is in permanent ink.

Here's two other pieces of art that I absolutely love here and here (although this one is a spoiler).

By: Sincosma 9.7/10 - Febr. 2023

What a beautiful and devastating story. This fanfic perfectly captured my thoughts and feelings about post canon OOT Link and Sheik. Congruent perfectly depicts both Link and Sheik suffering from PTSD while also trying to understand their feelings for each other. It was definitely odd at first to have Sheik be a separate character from Zelda, but the author handled him with such tender care that I completely understand her disappointment when they were revealed to be the same person. Sheikah lore is expanded on so well and in a way that perfectly fits the OOT depiction of Sheikah. Not to mention keeping and emphasizing Sheik's darker skin tone. I would honestly love to learn more about the Sheikah from the OOT era especially because they are completely different in BOTW. There were also some details (minor) that were different but were only mentioned once and didn't bug me much. For example the small comment about Link being tall, when in fact he is a short king. This fic also stressed me the hell out. The author really put Link and Sheik through it but also perfectly encapsulated the anxiety these events would give them. The Nether added a whole new level of horror I was not expecting. The void walker scenes especially were so bone chilling and anxiety inducing. I would actually be surprised if Link DIDN'T change from his experiences there. After the Nether was the development of a delicious slow burn consisting of Link constantly trying to suppress his very gay thoughts of his best friend. One of my favorite moments is when Link thinks "I don't understand why Sheik wouldn't want to be with Malon." Like huh Link I could ask you the same exact question LMAO. Not to mention the desert scenes where Link and Sheik started opening up to each other more and more omfg. My absolute favorite scenes all happened in the lost Sheikah city. Incredible mental environmental imagery, amazing plot points, and the beginning of congruence and healing. Man I wish we had more about the Sheikah than just Kakariko UGH this fic is so good with Sheikah lore. The revival of Kalyh was perfect not only to add tension to Link's budding feelings, but to also add tension to the plot and rising threat. The threat of Fourskys was really interesting. I like how Termina was always in Link's fate. I also like how Fourskys community is just filled with refugees from Hyrule, it emphasizes how corrupt Hyrule is while also showing even your own community can fall into corruption. Ugh this fic just felt so true to oCarina of Time I really have to tell myself it isn't canon. Even when Link and Sheik got together it was still tragic as they didn't know if they were going to die, or worse, during the fight. I love that the end concluded with Sheik losing his arm and magic as it shows just how cruel fate and prophecies can be, but also his willingness to give up anything just to be with Link. And that leads into Isometry, the perfect bittersweet conclusion. Link and Sheik still struggle with PTSD, but they have each other and were able to leave Hyrule. Nothing is perfect but they get to live humble and secluded lives, married. UGH I could go on forever but this is such an all time favorite piece of writing. I am so happy to have stumbled across it and hopefully I van do more with it in the future.

[gallavich-headcanon]

🦊 Nope, nothing forgotten! Just tired of not getting notified when you answer.

Very pleased to hear you're doing better! I wish you a continuing speedy recovery.

As for Nosho - I see you haven't heard of his OCs. They are. Trauma in persona. None of those poor souls stays happy for too long. He's an expert in cracking characters like raw eggs. Or porcelain dolls.

Short rundown of The Obsessions! Detroit: Become Human. Video Game. Sci-Fi, Dystopian. Androids have been invented a couple of years prior to the story. They are now found in every profession possible - Doctors, Maids, Police, even Sex Workers, everything. People lose their jobs because of it. People get mad, treat Androids like shit. Androids retaliate. There's a revolution. Your decisions during the game have an impact on the story. There's a lot of possible storylines. I ship two characters who have barely 10Min screen time (Max!) together, one of them having literally 60Sec of it and no line of speech. The fandom built those characters basically from scratch. It's hilarious.

Horizon: Zero Dawn. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEVER HEARD OF THIS FRANCHISE. I AM APPALED. LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE GAMES. Again, Video Game. Sci-Fi, Dystopian. Old world ceased to exist, got destroyed. New world was formed. Aloy has been outcast. She doesn't know why. On her quest to find out about her origin, she has to save the world and right a lot of wrongs. I'm sorry, but I can't say more on this without spoilers, and I highly recommed them. (2/3 parts are out so far, third one is in the making!)

Supernatural. You are so wise in not watching it. You'd be SO disappointed. The Queerbait is outrageous. Whatever happened past S10 is a mystery. Absolutely whack. Shit ending. Don't do this to yourself. I got into it when it was still good. And that was the only reason I kept watching. Had I known about that ending beforehand, I wouldn't have touched it.

Duskwood. I will add this even though I didn't mention it previously. Video Game. Horror/Thriller, Interactive Mystery. You are added to a Group Chat. A girl was kidnapped. She supposedly sent your number to her boyfriend who contacted you. They suspect you are the culprit at first. A hacker contacts you, wanting to help you to solve the mystery. If you play as a female character you can woo the hacker. It's hilarious. The Mini Games you have to play in between can be frustrating, but it's worth it.

K.

Hey twin k! How are you doing? Sorry it took me so long to get back to you 🧡 I’m finally back to the land of the living.

@creepkinginc you scare me now. This is a side of you ice never knew. Please never do it to our AUs 😨

Detroit: become human. Okay I see you with shipping characters that have barely been together on screen. I respect your choices but, respectfully, how do you do it? How is there enough to obsess over? Or is it all just headcanons? Wait one of them does even speak? Y’all are something else hahaha

Horizon: zero dawn. The word “dawn” will forever remind me of twilight. I am so sorry I just have never been a video game kind of person!! I don’t even own a tv of a computer! (I have a laptop which I love dearly but I doubt it strong enough for proper games, it’s doesn’t even have a disc compartment lol) this actually sounds very interesting. But like, can I read it or do I have to play to get the plot? Because I’m intrigued but I’m not gonna get into gaming probably. 😅 is there a proper fandom? A love interest?

Supernatural. Yep yep. I had a feeling it was too much queerbaiting that will never give us more than maybe one live confession and no actual relationship. I feel like supernatural-> shameless pipe line is for people who needed to recover from the queerbaiting trauma and get a gay happy ending.

Duskwood. Ohhh cool this is kind of giving pretty little liars vibe. Do you know how I know I live in a queer bubble? My first thought was “oh a lesbian hacker! So cool!” And then I realize… it’s probably a straight man. Hahaha I’m very into the interactive mystery part ( I love reading books from the pov of a detective or someone trying to solve a murder) but the horror part… is it gore? Or like scare to make me pee my pants? Because that’s not for me🙃 but the plot sounds really cool! What are the mini games?

Very impressed with your list of obsessions. Though I have a feeling you’re not satisfied with happy endings lol couldn’t be me. I need my HEA.

[treesap-blogs]

HI GUYS IM POSTING ON SUNDAY INSTEAD OF SATURDAY!! Sorry. Back with a review of “The Sunbearer Trials” by Aiden Thomas

Hello, Tumblrians! It’s been a while since I’ve made a review, I’m sorry about that. Alas, only two weeks after school, my mom took me down to the South to go visit some family 😔it was lowkey miserable! 2/10 don’t recommend I got gaslit so many times lmao

SORRY FOR NOT POSTING ON SATURDAY😭I was very busy! I’m gonna try to stop making self-imposed deadlines, because a) I literally never follow through with them so they read like empty promises, b) I get last-minute anxiety paralysis and never upload.

Anyways! Here’s a review of a queer book, because they probably would’ve been restricted in the state I was in. Maybe not banned per say, but definitely not accepted with open arms. The only open arms we’re getting in South Carolina are guns, and dear old Uncle Dave pretending he’s asking me for a hug and not forcing me to do it out of moral/familial obligation. Sorry.

Not really any Book Discovery Backstory for this one, except for that I wanted to get around to reading every single Aiden Thomas book. And this was originally meant to be for the Trans Rights Readathon, but I got tired and gave up! Oops.

The Sunbearer Trials is the book in question! For once, its advertising is pretty accurate: Think The Hunger Games’ nail-biting (and televised) battle royale, mixed with the demigod folklore and plot aspects of Percy Jackson (but make it gods of Mexican instead of Greek/Roman mythology)! Teo, a Semidiós transgender teen(son of Quetzal, the god of birds), because of his Jade status, doesn’t expect to be chosen as a competitor in The Sunbearer Trials: a group of deathly games played by Semidiós teens, where the lowest-ranking has the “greatest honor” of all—be sacrificed in order to fuel the Sun’s power and keep the Obsidian evil gods at bay. However, that doesn’t mean Teo’s worried about others: his friend Niya, the higher-ranking Gold daughter of Tierra, is one of the strongest heroes of their generation and dangerously likely to be chosen. So he’s in for a nasty surprise when two Jades get selected for the games this year, one being Xio, the thirteen year-old son of Mala Suerte, and Teo. Now the two of them must compete in five mysterious trials, against far more powerful opponents, for glory, pride and their own survival.

For a book with that intense of a summary, I wasn’t expecting for it to be as humorous and fun as it was? But I’m kinda glad for that, because hundreds of pages of just on-page child death will inevitably get emotionally taxing. So, I found this to be a very enjoyable read! I liked the descriptions of food!!(don’t read this on an empty stomach), and our character dynamics, which I was pleasantly surprised by because I usually dislike or outright hate books with large casts! Aiden Thomas definitely had his priorities straight on the characters to center though, and although we got to know a bit about everyone, it didn’t feel like there was too little or too much time spent with anyone. It didn’t feel crowded, basically.

Not to be that book account, but we also got a bit of rivals to lovers, with Aurelio and Teo! I was a little on-the-fence about it at first because, you know, tropes, but I ended up growing to like the genuine bond they developed amidst the trials. Also, Aiden Thomas just has a way with writing gay yearning I think! 

With all that said, although this book was a fun read, it felt juvenile at times. If some of the cursing or sexual humor was cut out, it could definitely pass as a middle grade. Personally, I don’t like middle grades, so this was disappointing to me especially considering how dark the summary is? Some of the lines (particularly Niya’s) were so corny or cringey I had to laugh. Add that to this being in a modern world, and I take critical damage from being reminded that memes and vine coexist with demigod death games in this book. 

Anyhow! Overall, this was an enjoyable (even if flawed) read. As you guys should know, I love culturally rich stories, and I loved the Mexican parts of the settings and story. And if you read the summary for that and thought to yourself “hey! That sounds right up my alley”, I’m not stopping you from checking it out. I’ll also be reading the sequel, because there was a hell of a cliffhanger.

Book rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️½ stars/5. Finished 04/05/2023.

(Book content/trigger warnings: fire/fire injury, child death(on-page), violence+blood, bullying, gender dysphoria.)

-Paz, signing off!

[delirium-mind]

How did you find out that you also like girls. Was it hard for you to accept that part of you?

It was always something that was kind of there. When I grew up and hit that stage that we all do where we start to be curious sexually, I was exposed to erotica type blogs and stories because ya know...parents didn't monitor us. But anyways, I found stories about girls having their first lesbian experiences. And it fascinated me, but I always kept it a secret and never really..I guess acknowledged what that part of me was or that it was real. As I've grown up its popped up here and there in various was (my attraction to women) and I had a few very minor experiences. I still wouldn't really acknowledge it though, I kept only really considering men. But I reached this point where ..I'm not sure. I guess I saw it around me enough that it was so normalized. It stopped feeling like a dirty secret I've had since I was a child and just felt like..yeah I love people and that can also include women.

It was definitely..confusing and difficult. I was raised in a household in a time where I wasn't always aware of what it was to be gay, and when I first learned what gay was it was..scandalous taboo..wrong or dirty. I have a gay cousin, and it just wasn't something we ever really acknowledged. And behind his back, or when he stirred up trouble (he did a lot, nothing to do with being gay) his gayness was used to be a mark against him. Even when eventually I did theatre and befriended many gay people, even my family befriending some of them...still gayness was not something truly accepted to be ok. Still people would support anti gay politics and beliefs. So it felt like a dirty shameful thing for a long time that I had these feelings. I kept them to myself for so many years and never really explored them for ages. I just felt like I had so many different pressures from everyone to fit a mold, an idea they had of who I should be and I was constantly breaking every single one of them and being such a disappointment. The disappointment was always ill recieved. I couldn't wear what I wanted, my self expression and discovery was completely controlled and cut off. I wasn't about to also add this to that mix. I lived online though, IMVU and shit. I had several long distance relationships, which did include women. It took years of my adult life to really figure out who I am and in truth I feel like I'm still settling in.

Theres obviously the stigma and prejudice, especially from older generations and family. People being scared of unknown, different, unpredictable or what they believe to be so horribly offensive to their own religious beliefs. I grew up in a very complicated and abusive household so I was also in no hurry to make anything worse. But I was also so used to being rejected or whatever for other parts of myself. I'm short, I have big boobs, eczema..crazy hair. Piercings. Colorful hair. Tattoos. I dress differently, I have always been different, in a million different ways and I guess I finally was like.. fuck it. A million and one wont mean shit.

I think that accepting I was attracted to women, and that it was ok ..was more about accepting that some people wouldn't agree, and that it was still ok anyways. That I am not here to please others. My purpose is to please myself, to do what makes me happy not what makes others feel comfortable.

It was hard because of the insecurity, the fear of others reactions or possible rejection of me. In the end of it all, your happiness is yours and it's all about what makes you feel good and happy. Not what others will judge to be right or wrong. And if you, or I kept/continue to live in fear of that, refusing to love and accept and embrace these parts of ourselves..then we will be destroying our own potential for love and joy. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who disagrees with your choices. Do not let them ruin your happiness. We all already have so much struggle and pain, don't add to it unnecessarily. Love is magic, and everybody deserves it.

**addition

I also have several health problems. I almost died, several times. The first at 15. I became aware of my own mortality very early and how important and fragile my my life is. How easy it can disappear, and how much I felt like I almost missed out ever having the chance to feel or do or see or say. Suddenly pleasing others started to matter less and less. In the grandscheme...the opinions of others hardly mean shit. Especially when most of the time they aren't going to stick around when I need a safe place, protection or support..so on and so on. And as for family or specifically parents..their job is to love you. Unconditionally. If they cant love and accept me as I am, thats their failure. Not mine.

[sterling-knights-gf]

How can you miss a life you never had?

The boyfriend that I don't have is named Matt. He has auburn hair, a remnant of the bright red it was in his childhood photos, but his beard still has a little bit of that brightness. He used to think he was gay, but he realized he's bi a little bit before he met me, that he had wanted to be more queer because he's never felt like he fit into the community aesthetically, too masculine and too proud of it. That's changed, too, though. He went through some time where he tried out different gender expressions—wore a skirt to our favorite gay bar, asked just a couple people to use they/them pronouns, then she/her, just for a day each, asked me to give him deep green eyelids and just a little bit of a wing, replicated the way I danced to bubblegum pop in the mornings when I made him breakfast in my apartment. Some of it stuck. He found skirts that he likes better than the ankle-length black one with its long slit, sometimes he still asks me to add some color to his eyes, he dances with me in the mornings, though he's gone back to his own style. But he said that he's definitely a man, that he likes his pronouns, he's having more fun with it now, he just feels more comfortable now.

A few days before our first anniversary, I laid in his lap and watched him watch my favorite movie. I told him I'm getting you flowers. He blushed down at me, moving his hand to cover it but reconsidering last minute, letting himself be vulnerable. In a quiet voice, affection painting it soft, he asked, "Should I get you flowers, too?" I asked Were you planning to? and he said, "Well, yeah. I wasn't sure if this was a role reversal or just a gift." I smiled and motioned for his hand. He gave it to me easily. I kissed his palm before resting it against my heart, covered by mine. I said, Trust your instincts. He brushed my hair aside to see my eyes.

We exchanged flowers, bluebells from me and white lilies from him. I held them to my chest and though that I should plant some in my garden. He took one of his bluebells from his bouquet and pushed it behind my ear, so I did the same with one of my lilies. I draped my legs over his on the couch and he rubbed my ankle and I pulled him close, kissed him softly, and he said, "Hey, I love you," and I gasped and pulled him in again. I asked him, Is it okay if I don't say it back? I left him no time to respond, rambling, I feel like I love you already but it could just be the occasion and I want to be sure when I say it because I don't want to regret any of our relationship because I feel like this is it for me. I feel like you're it for me. He reached out and held my cheek, lifted me head from where is was looking at this chest to meet his eyes, the same color as the bluebells and now watering, just a bit. I said, Is that okay? He said, "That's more than okay. I love you." He asked, "Can I kiss you for pleasure?"—which, when he asks, means he wants to make out for awhile, which he asks because sometimes kissing a lot is a weird amount of stimulation for me, somewhere between not enough and too much, and sometimes I just can't do it—and I said Yes, breathless. We made out and he told me he loved me when I crawled into his arms that night and I told him I liked him so, so much, and he didn't look disappointed.

The next time I went to his house, maybe a few days later, I saw that he had pressed one of the bluebells. It was on his wall in a shadow box. I hugged my knees to my chest an looked up at him and asked Can I say something cheesy? He smiled and walked closer, his legs almost touching my toes where they hung over the edge of the couch, and said, "You can." And I told him that There's so much love inside me, it's in my lungs and I'm having a hard time breathing and it's in my hands and they're shaking and—I reached out for his hand, pressed a kiss into his palm, pressed his palm to my chest—and I don't know what to do with all of it, please take it, it's yours anyway. He settled in my lap, grounding me, his knees on either side of my thighs, and looked in my eyes. I kissed his cheek, the corner of his eye, his ear, his nose, his jaw, his brow, anywhere I could reach, until I stopped shaking, until I could breathe. I said I love you. He kissed me softly, said, "I love you. So much. I love you." I asked him Can I kiss you for pleasure?—which, when I ask, means I want sex, which I ask because he has a weird relationship to sex and he gets uncomfortable if things are too sensual when he wasn't expecting it, and sometimes it just isn't appealing—and he said, "Not right now," and there was no part of me that was disappointed, not when he was right in front of me and looking into my eyes. But he continued, said, "But if you want"—he kissed my jaw, pulled himself closer to my chest, lifted my chin with a soft touch of his finger, spoke into my ear—"if you want, I could tease you." I breathed in and my mind was blank, focus reduced to where he touched me. "Until I'm ready. I don't know how long it will be," fingers along my shoulder, a slight touch moving my hair off my collarbone, "maybe a few hours," an arm wrapping around my waist, lips against my neck, "maybe a few days," I gasped out Yeah, that works. Yeah. I love you. He lifted his head, looked me in the eyes, and said, "I love you."

And the scene fades to black, like a projector powering down, like a bridge's shadow blocking out the street lamps, like a power outage. I stare at my wall and wish it was real. I wonder how long I could stay in this world where I'm happy, where I communicate how I feel, where someone loves me and I love them back and we're good to each other. I wonder that world really exists. I wonder,

How can you miss a life you never had?

I think of the curve of his mouth, his hair curling right when he gets out of the shower, his soft fingers against mine, the dip of his eyebrows as he looks at me concerned, as he sees the tears in my eyes as I look at him like he's not real. I think of the gentle press of his hands against my cheeks as he asks, "What's wrong?"

How do you mourn it?

[swearyshera]

You should drop a top 10 sweary-SheRa moments that decimated the fandom

Here’s my votes for Bow’s first swear and Scorpia saying “fuck” and not apologizing immediately to go somewhere in the top 5

~ @sammys-magical-au

Sure! Listicles are the backbone of our society now, so I present to you all, in no particular order (and naturally with spoilers for everything I've made...up to now, anyway):

6 Times Sweary She-Ra Made You Want to Yell At Me

When Catra and Adora got 'married': People had been wondering exactly how Catra and Adora seemed to have been married for a long time - did the Horde sanction child marriages? Did Shadow Weaver don a vicar's outfit? The reality was both cuter and darker, as we saw the two of them as young children use Adora's half-knowledge of marriage to make a promise to each other that they'd always stick side by side in their little corner of Hell.

2. When Frosta really was a demon: Frosta's little ongoing make-believe about being a demon from another world was cute... and then we found out she wasn't playing at all. Trapped in our realm and cut off from the fiery depths of home, Frosta found herself stuck in the body of a small child, but managed to partially transform just long enough to show Glimmer who she really was.

3. When Bow came out to his dads and got the most Dad response: This was one of those lines that could never have been anything else. Bow was so sure his Dads would be disappointed that he was bi and not gay, that he went to some great lengths to cover it up. But ultimately, he told them the truth, and they supported him in the only way they know how - awful jokes.

4. When Scorpia said 'I love you' to Catra: The Crimson Waste was quite an experience for all of them. But no-one more so than Scorpia, whose infatuation with Catra finally seemed to be returned. And so, she summoned up the courage to tell Catra how she really felt - but didn't quite get the answer she wanted.

5. Angella's final words: Since the earliest episodes, Adora has reflexively called most older women 'Mom', but no-one was more deserving of that title than Angella. She took Adora in and looked after her in the first months at Bright Moon, but generally tended to ignore Adora's name for her. That was, until she sacrificed herself to close the portal - as well as telling Adora to make sure they all looked after each other, she left her with one final instruction: Call me Mom.

6. Scorpia tells Emily her secret: Scorpia believing, beyond all logic, that her family were just 'on holiday' was a funny, if sad, running joke. But it became a whole lot sadder when Scorpia revealed that she knew what had happened to them all along, and the lines about them being on holiday were simply her lying to herself as a way of not having to think about the truth. It put a lot of lines in a much darker context.

7. Bow swears: I'd mentioned a lot that Bow would swear exactly once in the series, and it's during his argument with Glimmer that it finally happens. There's F-bombs and then there's F-bombs, and Bow dropped one with the power to destroy planets.

And I know I'm going to be able to add to this list again multiple times this season and next! Because let's not forget we soon have:

the 'depression vines' of Beast Island

Double Trouble's mic drop with Catra and her lowest point

Heheheheeee