#im going to tenderize this man. by which I mean beat the shit out of him emotionally but also he will get to be soft sometimes

[good-wine-and-cheese]

Heavily inspired by @ssserf's fic here. It got my brain gears brring

Summary: After a harrowing incident, Ochanomizu's survival is dependent on Tenma constructing him an artificial body. He'll do it; but there is something darkly ironic in transforming the most "human" of them all into a machine. Though perhaps humanity isn't so narrowly defined.

Relationship: Tenma/Ochanomizu

Characters: Dr. Tenma, Professor Ochanomizu, Atom, Uran, Inspector Tawashi

Warnings: Near Death Experiences, Terrorism, Medical Procedures, PTSD

[lunels]

with dating ellie comes with…

dating ellie williams !!

♡ - decided to write this on a whim when i woke up from a short nap today. was kinda reluctant to post this cause i know there are a lottt of these out there buuuttt, this was fun 2 write. anywayyyy, enjoy < 3

with dating ellie, comes with…

her iconic and award-winning journal. that thing has documented just about everything in her life over the years annddddd before dating U she would write about you in it constantly. even b4 she realized she was crushing. just saying how cool you are and she loves being your friend. im talking before bed, having breakfast, after talking to you, after hearing you laugh. she’d draw you too. jot down little details ab you. you name it, it’s journaled. you’d come across it one day and see a few pages written about you, all smiley like awwweeee ellieeeeee, you reallly love meee and she’d be soo embarrassed, like yeah.. just a little bit.

which takes us toooo…. her episodic memory! (😱it’s true! jk.) but nah actually this girl’s memory is hit or miss. in terms of you though she remembers a lot of things…. like how you get grumbly when you’re hungry or how you prefer sitting down to wipe instead of standing up orrr how your first kiss with her was on a wednesday at 6:54pm. the weird little things you know!? other times…. information goes through one ear and out the other. you ask her what she did 10 mins ago & she’s stuck sitting there trying to recall. sometimes you wonder if you were to knock on her head if it would feel hollow or not.

her unusual appetite… i think she’s a picky eater and LOVES to eat but LOVES……. finger foods. what you would consider snacks would be breakfast lunch and dinner to her. one day you'd be in the store by the freezers & she'd dramatically gasp, ....dino fuckin nuggets? they had these the whole time?! aw man.. and she's just holding the box while reading the ingredients like its the most interesting discovery. babe do you SEE this??? did you know????? and you’re like noo… whaaattt! that’s crazyyy! knowing she won’t eat anything else & it would be her favorite hyperfixation of food til like. death. ellie is not going to dive into a 5 star meal. i mean, she would... but it's not preferred. if you’re having a date night she will happily order chicken tenders and fries with a side of ketchup. hell if she’s feeling a lil healthy that day a cup of grapes too. meanwhile you have… not that. your plate consists of five cheese ziti with a buttered and crisp breadstick on the side with garlic parmesan marinara sauce for dip idk. she'll just look at your plate like "okay! if that's what you like babe......if you like it go ahead…" while munching on a piece of chicken. you'd shrug, "least i don't eat like a toddler." the contrast in plates is horrificcc

her lowkey cocky and competitive nature. don’t get me wrong she’s default awkward and nervy but does have a bit of an ego. her vocabulary consists of alot of “yeah?”s and shit that makes you nervous but as soooonnnn as you hit back with the same energy she’s shying away and stuttering. because she’s like damn that made me feel something. uh oh. dating her would consist of a lot of races and competition over simple things….. such as seeing who could get to bed first, orrr race u to kitchen! when you two first started dating she would tell you lots of facts (still does) ab space/dinosaurs and be like “a million earth’s can fit inside the sun. did ya know that babe??” “i bet you don’t know why this dinosaur poops in pebbles…” why would you??? now it's just a regular occurrence. she’d feel so smart and brainy knowing you don’t know a thing she’s talking about. with her competitive side she’s also kinda sore loser too. you beat her in a video game, she’s moping around the entire day until you finally give in to a rematch… mumbling ab how that was just a warmup. and she hasn’t played the game in a while. yeah ok. but best believe she’s shit talking the entire time and finally boasting ab her longggg overdue win

her nerdy dorky loser side. she’s a nerd. she’s a dork. she’s a loser!! idc what u say that’s her. everyone should know this. the girl is in love with space and dinosaurs and reads comics and is technically a pro gamer. like that’s her shit. what does that say?? & the pun books?? come. on. being her gf would mean that there wouldn’t be a day that’d go by that you wouldn’t hear about a fun fact ab space or how something reminded her of a particular dinosaur that lived 19356827.9999 years ago. if you ever touch one of her collectibles or pick up those little trading cards or highly rare action figures she'd immediately run over and swat your hand away, lecturing you about how they haven't sold this character in years and she found this at a garage sale 5 years ago.... how could you- why you do such a thing??!?!? like babe… i love you… so much. but. don’t touch my shit ever again. yeah. it's that serious.

sleepless nights!!!!! she’s pretty much an insomniac. lowkey, but highkey. like, she sleeps, obviously, but she can’t sleep. which would often lead to you waking up in the middle of the night to find her re-building a jurassic park lego set orrrr playing one of her little video games. maybe jamming out to some music as she draws. (bonus if she's drawing your face cuz she can’t you outta her head) and all u hear is her humming along, music blasting out of her headphones like drrrrr dodododoo yeAhhh ooOooO or times if you can’t sleep either, the two of you would be up talking and goofing off w hushed laughs over nothing but it’s really everything to her and she just looks at you with her pretty eyes like... this person is really my whole world.

her guitar skills!!! how could i forget!!!! she plays, like a lot, and anytime you’re over that’s the one of the things she’s doing. most likely playing along to her fav band or practicing a song you suggested once. she’d always wanna play for you and show you a new trick she learned or play you a song she wrote. (bonus if it’s about you<33) if she’s sooo in love with you she’d def wanna teach you a few things:)) sometimes if you can’t sleep she’d be like babe gimme a song. any song and i’ll play it for you. and you’re likee glue song:))) then… there u go. she’d do all the little tuning stuff & you can’t help but feel mesmerized by the way her pretty hands pluck the strings or how she hums the lyrics on some parts. glancing at you every while to make sure you're still listening. she’s just sooo… *prettily sighs*

comic con. anime con. gaming con. YOU NAME IT. shes at all the cons!!!! she’s there and flourishing like a little butterfly. best believe she is dragging you to every single one (for support and comfort cause she wouldn’t ever go alone) and showing you eve-r-y-thing. everything? everything!!! she’d be genuinely excited. all smiley and jumping from place 2 place, pointing at all the characters she recognizes. like babe that's the wizard guy!!! remember him??? and then that's his buddy who’s like a thousand fuckin years old! look at him!!! never knew dude was so wrinkly in person though...yeesh. and you're like ohh… yeaahh☺️ so overwhelmed and very much confused and getting characters mixed up w others from her little rants but she's happy so you're happy n that's all that matters right? if you can't show up for some reason, her gf, who she forced to have on her arm, then jesse because he was the next person actually down to go BUT she would make him take a bunch of pics just to personally send to you. like waitwaitwait she's gotta see this—jesse where's my fucking phone?!? okay whatever just use yours. hurry up before they leave! spamming you left & right with all these attachments of her posed w her favs or pics of her at the different events there. she’d look so cute that you’re like okaaayy…. maybeeee i’ll go w her next time :)))

okay that’s it! this was rly fun to write!! i hope someone out there liked this and maybeee i'll do a prt 2 :) all loveee < 33

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Currently 4 episodes (out of a total of 6) into the 2016 BBC adaptation of War and Peace (because Paul Dano, Jessie Buckley and Callum Turner, that’s why) and I have a few thoughts:

Maybe I am in fact just trash for Paul Dano but Pierre??? Is so??? Soft??? And I love him???

That moment where the camera pans over to Callum Turner lounging on a chaise as Gillian Anderson says that he and his sister are “beautiful creatures”… hell yeah, I felt that

THEY STRAPPED A POLICE OFFICER TO A BEAR IM-

This show’s cast is absolutely stacked by the way, like you’ve got Paul Dano, Lily James, James Norton, Jessie Buckley, Callum Turner, Jim Broadbent, Gillian Anderson…

I’ve not known inner peace since Callum Turner said his father beats him “only when I’ve been very naughty” in a husky voice to Jessie Buckley

“I thought you might have brought the countess.” “She’s otherwise engaged” - smash cut to his wife getting rAILED ON THE BREAKFAST TABLE BY ANOTHER MAN WHAT THE FUCK

PIERRE THREW A MARBLE TABLE AT HELENE’S DIRECTION, THIS IS NOT A GOOD MARRIAGE

(Nah but I’m on his side though because she’s cuckholding him to the extreme and clearly married him for the title/money)

Paul Dano truly makes his living out of playing characters that fly off the handle into fits of rage and/or agony, and I love that for him

Nikolai really fucked his entire family over with his gambling huh

When I say I was crying over how obvious it is that Pierre is in love with Natasha, I do mean I was straight up crying 😭

It’s the way he knew Natasha was in love with Andrei and that Andrei was in love with Natasha, so he was telling him to be with her even thought it was obvious his heart was breaking

I don’t know if I’m going crazy but it seems like Callum Turner’s character (Anatole) and his sister (Helene) have an in€est thing going on in this show??? It’s not exactly explicit but there’s something decidedly not sibling-like going on there

They keep on calling Jessie Buckley’s character (Marya) ugly and plain and abusing her and it’s like??? Hello??? Do they not have eyes?!?!

Jessie Buckley has worked with both Scamander Brothers, she literally has scenes with Callum Turner in this show, I’m-

Pierre was exhibiting king level behaviour by asking to sit with Marya at that dinner party and being the only half decent man in the room who doesn’t talk to her like shit

Also that moment where he has Anatole up against a wall and is threatening to bash his brains out… umm maybe just because it’s Paul Dano and Callum Turner but 👀 👀 👀

Honestly I’m old fashioned in this sense but men protecting the women they love even if the women don’t love them back is such a weakness of mine 😭

Natasha is really falling in love with every dude BUT Pierre at this rate 😭 what did he ever do to you, Nat??? She’s literally utterly friendzoned him (and yes I hate the idea of the friend zone, because a man being nice doesn’t entitle him to romance or sex with a girl, but still)

Pierre holding Natasha as she sobbed though 😭 it’s just the way that he’s so??? tender??? and awkward??? and sweet??? And the way he’s telling her it’ll be alright???

^Lily James is apparently 5 foot 7 which is not really short… which means Paul Dano is in fact kind of tall 👀🫦

(Okay he’s about 5 foot 10 inches which isn’t terribly tall for a guy but I’m only 5’2”-5’3” okay that’s tall to ME)

If this show doesn’t end with Pierre and Natasha married/in love, I’m straight up suing for emotional damage

[elysianslove]

cheering you up ; haikyuu boys

synopsis; different ways the haikyuu boys care for you and cheer you up when you’re sad

pairings; karasuno x reader, nekoma x reader, aoba johsai x reader, fukurodani x reader, shiratorizawa x reader, inarizaki x reader

genre; fluff

warnings; none probably a bunch of mistakes lmfao

note; i had to repost this like 3 times rip. anyways, im sorry for not adding inarizaki on my last one jbshds but they’re here now!!

karasuno ━━

sugawara koshi; i definitely think he's so in tune with you, and your emotions. he learns your cues very well, and knows every little thing about you that there is to learn. if you're having a bad day, he'll notice right away. he won't comment on it though. all he'll do is these little things to try to cheer you up, but it's going to be very subtle. he'll let u rest ur head on his shoulder, run his fingers through ur hair. he'll sneakily buy u ur favorite snack. doesn't bring anything up until you do. ends the day with cuddles and a chick flick.

sawamura daichi; he notices but he doesn't really know how to react. not because he doesn't know what to do, but because he doesn't want to trigger you or deepen your sadness in any way. he's very careful with you. if it's something throughout the day, he's very quiet and tender with you, just silently lets you rest your head against his chest and rubs your back/arm tenderly. as you're walking home he asks if you want to talk about it, and reminds you that it's good to, but it's also okay if you don't want to.

nishinoya yuu; not a single sad moment with mr noya here. seriously you cannot breathe. ok but in all honesty, when you're sad. he's sad. sends you memes, and you'll be laughing at them with tears streaming down your face because you don't really know what you're feeling anymore. he does a lot of tiktok trends with you, any of the couple ones. grabs your faces and ,,, smooch all over. until you have no choice but to laugh. if you want to cry even more, he'll watch the notebook and the vow a thousand times over, and be a sobbing mess next to you. just don't tell the guys okay? <3

kageyama tobio; he's so.   bad. at this please help him. like he can tell ur sad, bc he's v good at reading people. but like. what the fuck is he supposed to do. anyways. when u two get to be alone and he kinda notices how quiet you are, he just nudges you slightly, and pulls you to him. it's easier to talk to you, he's calmer, when he can't directly look at you. when he feels you start to shake in his arms, feels the wet tears down your cheeks as you start to sob in his arms, his heart kinda breaks. all he can do is hold you, but it's what you need. and he'll listen too, if that's what you need as well.

tsukishima kei; i think he notices, but doesn't bring it up at all. the way he goes about it is he'll tease you to try and bring a smile on your face. because this is tsukki, and you know him well enough, you know the truth behind his jabs, enough to appreciate them. if it doesn't work, he'll just start to make fun of people in front of you, pointing random people out with you and just being like "wanna bet on what's making their relationship fall apart" this sadist i stg. like suga, he subtly makes you feel better until you yourself approach him about whatever's upsetting. actually gives 10/10 advice bc he's v honest.

asahi azumane; he's so empathetic oh my god bruh. notices immediately. "baby what's got u so upset" w a big pout on his face and when u just mumble "nothin" so low he barely catches it and instead throw yourself into his arms, he gives you a big, certified asahi bear hug. doesn't leave your side at all. constantly mutters sweet nothings and encouragements. if you do the bare minimum like make it through class he'll meet you after and be all "im so proud of my pretty baby". cuddles all day. all night. he's not very good at advice but he is the best listener !!! so attentive and you'll feel a huge weight lifted.

tanaka ryunosuke; "aight who do i need to jump" type beat. u love him so much though. that one sentence and sentiment already has you feeling better. immediately hugs you so tight, borderline suffocating you. "wanna ditch school". 100% willing to do so. he doesn't really know whether to approach it with distracting you or facing the obstacle head-on, but he finds a middle ground. eats your feelings out with you. saeko pulls out the embarrassing ryu pictures and suddenly you don't know why you were ever sad.

hinata shoyo; is really oblivious for a bit tbh. when he first meets you at the start of the day and his hyperactive self is greeted by your duller, sadder self, he doesn't think much of it. it's when you don't react to him or interact with him the way you usually would that he starts to notice you being off. he's actually super straightforward about it, and approaches you with some of your favorite snack that he bribed ukai to give him for free and just "wanna tell me whats up, baby?" he's so, so easy to talk to. immediately you're venting. and he listens to intently, gives stupidly good advice. it's like such simple approaches to your problem but?? it works. anyways you love him.

yamaguchi tadashi; will be super worried about what he could do to make it better, and kinda just tries to feed you as much positive energy as he can. once he's comfortable with people, he becomes really chatty, so i see him talking your ear off with the biggest smile on his face that you have no choice but to kind of ? mimic it? he just radiates goodness and sweetness that it shifts your own energy. he on some witchcraft shit on god. anyways when he walks you home or something, he'll just stop for a min and avoid your eyes when he says "ik u dont feel the best, but i dont want you to have to hide that from me, okay?" stan tadashi <3

nekoma ━━

kuroo tetsurō; drops everything. i mean it. i genuinely think kuroo would be such a good boyfriend that he'll sense it and text u as ur getting ready for school and be like "are u sad i feel like ur sad". you dont really wanna worry him and you'll just reassure him ur fine but he's already at your front door in — not his school uniform. insists the two of you take the day off saying "its fine babe im super smart". you two will spend the whole day just simply existing, talking when needed, he listens to you if you vent, and tries to come up with as many options of solutions for you so you don't feel weighed down. he'll make sure you eat even if you don't have an appetite, and will try to make u do something productive bc in a lotta cases, it could help you feel a lil better yk :)

kozume kenma; i pretend i do not see it — kozume kenma (2020). jbwjwks im jk. he's like tsukki in the sense that he will never address it, and he doesn't outwardly approach you about it. if it's just an off day for you, and you also happen to not have school, you'll go over to his house, hoping to feel a little bit better when you see him. "can i have a kiss, sunshine" to which he responds "why." you just go "im sad" and he gives u a big smooch. he'll have you lay on his lap while he plays his games, occasionally just sneaking in a peak at you to make sure you're okay. he'll ask if you wanna play to get your mind off things for a while. eventually, when things wind down a bit, he'll just mutter "yk i love you, yeah?" and that lights up your world hehe

haiba lev; as soon as he notices you're sad he just ☹️. he picks out a small flower and as soon as he sees you, he just tucks it by your ear, and smile so brightly and youll just be like "oh my god lev please stop being so cute". he won't really know what to do tbh, but the way he's so lost makes it so heartwarming and it honestly cheers you up all on its own. he just. "would a kiss make it better" and if you nod he'll just start kissing all over your face so softly, until he finally kisses your lips. when he pulls away he asks "again?" with a cute smile and if you nod he'll just kiss you over and over again. very simple way of cheering you up, and very foolproof tbh.

yaku morisuke; i think throughout the day, he might pester you a little bit about telling him what was wrong, but after you keep insisting you're fine, he relents, and decides that maybe giving you your own time and space to open up to him is better. he tries not to act differently in that sense, but he finds himself being a little more soft spoken, and gentler with you. i just had this image flash in my brain of you resting your head on a desk, head turned to the right, and then yaku comes and sits to your right, putting his head on the desk and facing you. and just. "hi :)" your heart melts. he kisses your forehead softly and tells you you're wonderful, in case you've forgotten. if, or when, you do open up to him, he'll be very eager to listen, and ready to fight off whoever upset you.

yamamoto taketora; this man is angry. like properly. "who the FUCK put a frown on my baby's face. speak the fuck up. i won't hurt you. ill just mutilate you." if you tell him that it's no one, and that you're just upset, he'll be so confused but he'll just nod and be like "okay. okay. do you want a hug?" and he'll hug you so tight. he'll admit that he doesn't like seeing you like this, and that he'll do anything to make it better. at first he's very cautious, but then he just lightbulb moment and as soon as you get home he'll be like "karaoke night babyyyyy" and then. no more sad.

aoba johsai ━━

oikawa tōru; very. perceptive. he greets you normally, even if he notices something's off, because he won't want to worsen anything. you meet him right before he has practice after school, and he'll just cup your face, lifting them to brush at your hair, and you just sigh. "my baby's had a long day, yeah?" he'll be very gentle and careful with you, i'm sure. he gives you a kiss, smiling softly into it, and reassuring you that you're much too strong to let a single bad day destroy you like this. he meets you later that night with a lotta ice cream and you two just binge watch any reality show you could find, shit talking the actors together. he himself is terrible at talking about his feelings this dumbass >:( so he understands if you don't want to yk? will encourage u to vent it out though. expect terrible, makes no sense advice

iwaizumi hajime; he kinda like. gets mad? when you continue to be upset and not speak about it? he's not mad at you! he's just. mad. this is iwa okay. anyways. he won't bring it up mostly, only being slightly more affectionate, especially in his hand holding, which is super gentle already as it is. when he invites you over, that's when he actually starts to talk to you about it. he lets you know that there's nothing worse than seeing you like this and not knowing what to do, and that he wants you to be able to talk to him. about anything. even if you think it's stupid. he'll listen, and tell you that it's not stupid if it's making you upset. he cooks for you <33333 then bakes with you <33333 you feel a lot lighter at the end of the night tbh

hanamaki takahiro; (he's so annoying i love him). as soon as he sees you upset he makes it his mission throughout the day to cheer you up in any possible way. spams your phone while you're class with ten thousand wholesome memes. sends you pick up lines. when he meets you in between classes he just yells out "how's my favorite person in the entire world!" and kisses you so wholly in the middle of the school hallway lmfao. while he's walking you home, takes a longer route and purposely, he passes by your favorite store/bakery/ice cream parlor. buys u ur favorite, and pretends to be shocked when you give him a piece. late at night, he'll facetime you, wondering how you're feeling, asking if you needed to talk about it. whether you do or you don't, you two will fall asleep facetiming.

matsukawa issei; the minute he sees you he's like "whats wrong". no hi or anything. he has like this frown on his face, which seems off bc it's rare to see a frown on issei's face, and he just tucks your chin in his palm gently and stares at your pout. "you good, baby?" he can tell you're not, but he wants you to be able to tell him on your own. sticks by your side the entire day, and nobody really mentions it. he talks to you as if it were a normal day, but his voice has a softer edge. he's not distracting you, per se. he's more, talking to fill the space while giving you your own space to think. once you're alone, he'll just drag you to the nearest comfy surface, flop down, and pull you on top of him. if you even try to resist or ask whats going on he'll just "nap and cuddles first." and when u sleep a lil bit of ur sadness away, he'll just let you talk it out as he continues to hold you <333

fukurodani ━━

bokuto kōtarō; just as empathetic as asahi, if not more. he really does feel it all with you. yk sympathy pains that partners get when women get contractions? bokuto is that partner. with bokuto, i feel like he'd never make you feel like you couldn't just straight up text him "im sad" and feel bad about it. if you ever do that, he'll immediately call, not even bothering with a text. if he can't come over, he stays with you until you've cried your heart out and then laughing until you can't breathe. if he can go over, he smothers you with love. repeatedly says "you know i love you, yeah? you know how grateful i am for you?" and in between kisses "im so lucky. so, so lucky."

akaashi keiji; i feel like as soon as akaashi notices you're down, or you're slightly off, he just grabs your hand and squeezes, forcing you to stop spacing out and focus on him for a second. if you're with a lot of people around you, he'll lean close to you and ask if you wanna go home. he'll be so soft and gentle and understanding, making up some excuse on the spot on why the two of you have to leave. if you're alone, he'll grab your hand and kind of tug you towards him, silently asking you to come into his arms, where you yourself know you feel safest. as soon as you're in the comfort of your home together, he'll like run you a bath and slip into it with you, just holding you until the water grows cold and the droplets on your skin are from your own tears. he'll wait it out, just holding you as reassurance, then make sure nothing's stopping you from spilling everything to him.

konoha akinori; when he first notices, he kinda deflates. like. who would wanna see their s/o like that? his smile is gentler when he greets you, and he's so soft with you. he grabs a pen and lifts your palm up, quickly scribbling down in his unique handwriting "i love you :) <3" on your skin, whispering for you not to wash it off until the end of the day. it is weirdly motivating tbh. as soon as the two of you are alone, he says it to you, face to face, an expected look on his face as if to ask "you know that, yeah?". puts on a movie to tune out the rest of the world, and holds you close to him as it drags on. he'll give advice if you're asking for it, but he's a better listener than anything else.

shiratorizawa ━━

ushijima wakatoshi; does not notice. in all honesty, he expects you to approach him whenever you have an issue or if you're upset. he's kinda like ? so confused when you're so down and really unresponsive, until he starts to notice how touchy you are. like you're leaning more into his touch, holding onto his hand like it's your lifeline, stealing his vbc jacket because it smells like him. is very straightforward, and will just ask you if you're okay as he walks/drives you home. kinda just stops in front of your house and presses a kiss to your forehead, then pulling you into a hug. "please don't be upset." he won't tell you that it kills him, but you can sense the unsaid words. he urges you to keep his jacket when he notices how safe it makes you feel. greets you the next morning with a new cactus in a pot hehe.

semi eita; is very cuddly once he notices. you'll sit at a table in school and he'll be sitting next to you, but he just pulls you into him and lets you rest your head on his chest, mumbling softly into your hair "i know you're sad and it's okay." he doesn't say anything else, just holds you there with a few kisses in between until he has to let go. late at night, if your thoughts are still keeping you up, he'll be up too, worrying, and will text you at 3 am if u wanna sneak out to meet him. takes you to the park and lays on the grass with you, picking out stars and constellations in the sky, with a soft soundtrack playing from his phone next to the two of you. he makes you feel secure enough to be sad even if you have all the blessings in the world, and makes sure you know that he'll always be there for you, even at 3 in the morning.

satori tendō; cheers you up by making you forget literally everything. replaces the sadness in your brain with just pure serotonin in any way he can think of. he'll take you to an amusement park, get ice cream with you, take you to the carnival in town, to the park, to the beach, to the pool, take you up to his house's rooftop. literally anything. and then he'll say something like "life's too short to spend it being sad over anything, darling." he's so understanding, and if you're frustrated or something he'll tell you to let it out by like wrestling him or some shit. exhausts you so much and you're filled to the brim with dopamine. he makes sure you're always happy, never seeing a dull moment in your relationship with him.

goshiki tsutomu; freaks out. plain and simple lmfao. but once he like grounds himself, he just softly comes up to you and asks you if you wanna talk about it, or if there's anything he can do. if yes, he'll break his leg running to go do it. if no, he'll just sit with you in silence, leaning over to hold your hand, talking to you about volleyball and his aspirations and how well he's improving. he's better at distracting you than helping you face your issues, mainly because he stresses out about giving the wrong advice or somehow making you sadder. he'll take a lot of pictures of you together on snapchat random filters to try and cheer you up, then later on in the night he'll send them to you and be like "look how cute we are ugh what a power couple" i love this dorkhabsjsks

shirabu kenjirō; i think he definitely notices, but keeps it to himself. he’d maybe think he’s imagining things and that you’re okay, so he’d go about his day normally. he doesn’t see you after school, and that’s when he puts two and two together and realizes yeah maybe you are sad. so he texts you, and texts you, and texts you, and gets no reply, so he just. comes over. unannounced. uninvited. just straight vibes. he’s already ordered your favorite take out, and already settling in bed with you under the cover with the lights dimmed and some chick flick playing in the background. gives the b e s t advice because he’s so blunt. like he will tell you if you’re overreacting, but you’re still his s/o, so he’d like wince as he says it. that’s all the sympathy you’re getting <3 but his bluntness will shock you into laughing hehe

inarizaki ━━

miya atsumu; usually, with atsumu, you’re always experiencing loud days. your relationship is all fun and flirty and suave and cool. but when he notices you’re sad, he goes quiet. like. eerily so. immediately pulls you aside somewhere private if you’re at a public place like school or something, and with his hands in yours he asks you if you’re okay. yk that thing where ur on the verge of tears and someone asks you if you’re okay and you just burst. yeah <3. his heart absolutely breaks and he just pulls you into a hug, resting your head on his chest and wrapping his arms around your neck. he just holds you there, even if you’re missing class/your friends are worried. he’ll stay with you until your tears have dried up, until you yourself let go.

miya osamu; i don’t see osamu as someone that loves pda. i feel like he’d be a more lowkey kinda guy. but if you’re sad, that gets thrown out the window. he doesn’t really in the moment, and won’t think too much when he pulls you close to his side and just wraps an arm around your waist/shoulder. yeah he’ll get looks but he can feel you trembling and shaking from holding back tears so yk, priorities. he’ll definitely stress eat with you. takes you literally anywhere and feeds you as you rant to him with tears streaming down your face and he’s just nodding sympathetically as he stuffs your mouth one bite after the other. romance is beautiful

suna rinatarō; when he notices you’re sad, his first response is alright what the fuck who messed up. he immediately blames someone else, and if he’s right, he’ll only get really agitated. just giving everyone the side eye from where you can’t see as he walks the two of you, your hand in his tight. if it’s not someone specific, he’ll just hum thoughtfully and then nod, before pulling you away somewhere private and just sitting you down and saying “talk.” very, very good listener. i can’t stress this enough. as you’re speaking he’s already thinking of a million different ways to help you solve your problem. walks with you as he traces your hands and just quietly tells you all the solutions.

aran ojiro; oh my god as a boyfriend he ticks all the boxes. he’s great at communicating, always satisfies your needs, is trustworthy and trusts you. the list goes on. immediately knows when you’re off/sad, and just smiles softly as he takes your hand, kissing your knuckles and saying, “let’s go home, yeah?” at home, he makes you some calming tea, probably pulls out some cookies or brownies or biscuits (that HE made but we’re not gonna get into that) and just listens as you talk, whether it’s about why you’re sad or just in general. gives you honest advice, but also a lil biased bc he loves you hehe <3

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

Chained (Lady Dimitrescu x F!Reader)

Ok at first I thought this was Alex

Warnings: nsfw under the cut.

She was assigned to work in Chris’ team to find a civilian named Ethan Winters and his daughter Rose, who were abducted from their house. Their rescue is important because after his involvement in the Dulvey incident he was infected with the mold which was passed down to his daughter. Chris believes the kidnappers want to use their gift in some twisted way. 

Knowing Chris’ history of not being able to keep his men alive, she didn’t trust him enough to follow his commands, sometimes questioning his decisions and doing thing in her own way, which turned out to be effective too. Chris threatened her to kick her out of his team and place her under someone else’s command, but he knew that her rebellious nature would get her fired and she was too good in the field to be discharged. He would have to gain her trust. 

How she wished  he wouldn’t question her captain now. 

The squad got into the castle where the kidnaper, a woman named Miranda, was hiding. They were stunned by the beautiful renaissance architectural style from the inside, everything being a shade of crimson with golden inserts. The aesthetic created a relaxing atmosphere for the team, but they were quickly pulled back to the reality by their captain. 

“This seems too beautiful for a villain’s hideout” she remarked. 

“Focus on our mission.”

Despite his efforts one of their member still got missing. Chris ordered them to stay close and to not investigate on their own. He didn’t want to repeat the incident from Edonia.  However, she got away from the squad despite. His orders thinking she heard the missing man, but it was a trap set by those witches.

As she approached the source of sound she didn’t realise that the hall became more and more narrow and poor illuminated. She was in complete darkness, and the voice sounded like it was still far away. To make the matter worse, her light flickered meaning the battery was running out. 

“Y/N!” Chris was screaming in the radio. “Where the hell are you?”

“I don’t know, I got lost. It’s like these halls are changing. I swear on my way here I saw some paintings. Now they are all gone. Shit, I can’t see a thing, maybe they are still here.”

She heard some gunshots through the emission 

“Chris, is everything alright?” 

“…don’t….back…Miranda…”

“Chris!” The signal was cut off. 

Her light was cut off too. Surrounded by darkness, she got a better grip on her pistol and pressed her finger on the trigger. As she was wandering around on her way back she had a feeling she wasn’t alone anymore. 

She heard some steps behind her and quickly turned around aiming at the possible enemy, but it was nothing there. Sighing in relief, she turned around to continue her walk, but bumped into someone. Yellow bright eyes were looking down at the small woman who was backing up slowly. Her company was tall, muscular, and judging by the large exposed chest she was a woman. She was standing there like a statue without saying a word. Freaked out Y/N pulled out her pistol and shot the woman in the head, who made a few steps back placing a hand on the wound. Y/N didn’t look back and ran past her finding a safe spot. 

She felt that gaze on her as she desperately ran to find Chris. She was trapped. Eventually she got tired of running and stopped to catch her breath. The radio was still off. She didn’t know if her team was alive or dead, or if that lady still followed her. In order to calm herself, she took a deep breath, letting the faint smell of wood and old furniture filling her lungs. It was the equivalent of a library.  She let herself dip into the silence. When her heart stopped beating in her year and she could hear, very dimly, the sound of a piano playing.

“…im going crazy..” She thought. 

“Enjoy the piano?” A firm, feminine voice asked her. She turned around and saw the same woman from early. Her outfit was fitting the aesthetic of the place, wearing a white dress with a crimson flower attacked to her dress, and a big black hat with black leather gloves. Her big smile exposed her perfect teeth. Not to mention she was very tall, Y/N being high up to her chest. She was still a beautiful woman. 

“I would enjoy a way out to be honest.”

“Come with me.”

She didn’t had a choice and she followed her.

The wood was cracking under their feet as they walked through the halls. The woman didn’t say a word, not introduce herself. The only thing Y/N could do was to look around and try to memorize as much as possible her surroundings in case she needs to run again.

“Don’t even think” her attention was back again on the stranger. “You won’t be able to leave by yourself.”

“Where’s Ethan?” Her eyes were fixated on her curvy figure and on the way she balanced her hips while walking.

“That’s where im taking you”

“You’re bluffing. We’ve been here before, I remember. We’re walking around in circles.”

The woman stopped and let out a chuckle. Then, she turned around and smacked Y/N so hard that she sent her flying across the room. The impact was so hard that she loft her consciousness. The only thing she remembers is the blury image of the woman approach her.

She woke up in a dungeon. The wooded smell was replaced with a rotten flesh and blood one. Her head still hurt from the impact. The woman tied her up on a metal table, with her hand laying beside her body. Her weapons, radio and other gear was taken away, leaving her in a turtleneck and cargo pants only. She tried to break from her restraints, the sound of chains hitting the metal surface echoing in the room.

Not long after she woke up the tall woman made her appearance. She walked to her side, caressing her face and removing some strands of hair from her forehead.

“How come a beautiful woman like you works with such beasts.”

She couldn’t help but blush when she heard the remark. She chose to remain silent.

“Im so happy that i took off that savage equipment off your body so i can have a better look at these curves” she trailed with a gloved hand the sides of her abdomen, sending shivers down her spine. It was a soft touch she didn’t experience in a long time. It wasn’t a good time to be touch starved.

The woman bend over her body, her chest pressing against her body and sending a warm wave down her lower abdomen. She removed the fabric that covered her neck and began to lick the tender flesh. Y/N dug her nails in the metal table when she felt the warm tongue licking and nibbling her flesh, and when the woman properly bit her she let out a scream. She was constantly moving like she was searching a vein causing her an immense pain. When she started to suck out her blood it didn’t hurt anymore, her screaming being replaced with loud whimpers.

The woman raised herself to let her breathe. Y/N liked the warm coming from the vampire’s body and she was disappointed when she was hit by the cold breeze.

“I don’t want to kill you, yet.”

“I didn’t know you kind existed.”

“You don’t know many things.” She began to caress her side again, going to her side boob to her hip and up again.

“I always enjoy a mortal’s body. So fragile and easy to break. But also very interesting to please.”

She closed brought her legs closer, feeling her core heating up.

“You blood pressure is high, and your face is all red. I don’t think you’re scared little girl.” She laughed at the conclusion.

“Just do it.” She spat out the words, feeling ashamed she let herself falling for her instincts. In the same time, she wanted the woman so bad.

The woman slid her hands underneath her shirt and reached her boobs, which fit perfectly into her big and large hands. She started to squeeze them firmly, then she raised her shirt and lowered the bra in such manner to release her nipple. The skin hardened in the contact with the cold air, but soon her hands found them again and began to roll the nipple between her fingers. She brought her mouth to one of them and sucked it, leaving lipstick and some of her blood on the skin. The other hand was working the nipple. Y/N tried to lif her legs but she couldn’t because of her restraints.

“Let me help.” The woman went to the end of the table and began to remove the cuffs. Y/N knew it was no point to escape because if her legs were free, her hands were still cuffed. Besides, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to leave.

The vampire freed her legs then she went to unbutton her pants. She grabbed both pants and panties and pulled them down revealing Y/N white smooth skin. She bent her knees and spread her legs. The woman kneeled lifted her dress and kneeled at the end of the table. It wasn’t an issue because she was very tall.

She bent over the table again with her boobs laying on the metal table, her mouth being close to Y/N pussy. She spread her folds and pressed so she could expose her clit, then she pressed her mouth sucking the wetness.

Y/N raised on her tiptoes from the pleasure. Her mouth was hot and her fangs pressed occasionally on her folds sending her head in the clouds. The vampire started to circle the bud with the tip of her tongue, them suck it. She wanted to suck blood from the flesh so bad but she didn’t want to stop her from moaning. Living in the castle tends to be lonely, and eventually you get tired of your minions. The only fun she gets nowadays is with her prisoners.

The vampire lifted her dress so she could slide her hand between her legs. She found it so hot when the mortals are moaning. She continued working her clit, then she moved to her entrance. She tasted so sweet, a vanilla flavour different from what she experienced so far. She moved in circles inside her, then she started to move in and out. Y/N was rocking her hips according to her tongue motions. The vampire pulled out her tongue and placed it again between her folds, but this time she didn’t move her face and let Y/N ride it instead. The hand began her panties started to move faster.

The mortal’s moans were increasing meaning she is approaching her climax. The vampire pressed a hand on her belly to stop her and began to lick her clit again until she finally came. She removed her face and continued to work on her own orgasm which didn’t take long to achieve.

Y/N took a while to get back to reality. By the time she was finally herself, the vampire was gone and her handcuffs were removed completely from both of her limbs. She got up and put on the pants, and went to explore the are.

As she explored the dungeon, she heard some moans coming from a cell. She rushed to it hoping this time there isn’t a trick again. The cell was opened, and inside a blond man was cuffed and beginning to wake up. She immediately recognised him. It was the man from the file and the reason why she’s here. She just found Ethan Winters. Quickly she went to check if he was hurt, but by her relief he just had some minors bruises.

“Wh-who are you?” He asked confused.

“Im not here to hurt you, im here to rescue you.” She helped him to stand up and walked out the cells.

This wasn’t a victory. Yes, she found Ethan, but her gear was gone and she was carrying an injured man in an unknown place. She needed to protect herself and the man, and that was difficult without her gun. Her priority is to find Chris and the res of the squad. Or whoever survived.

[kewltie]

thinking of bkdk in their late 40s when all their friends have already settled down with a family, izuku muses a lil forlornly how he would like to have someone to come home and katsuki just stares him dead in the eyes and says, "marry me then. i wont let you be lonely in that empty apartment."

the thing is bkdk are super successful heroes, they're the ranking no.1 and 2 and everyone knows their name but because izuku put so much effort into his career he never give himself the chance to meet someone and fall in love because the next things he know he's already 48 yrs old and still very single. as soon as he got right out of UA he had put himself right to work and hasn't truly stop since so izuku feels like he misses out on his youth, the flutter of first love, and now he feels like it's too late to grasp that chance again because he's too old to be stumbling around at love BUT here is katsuki suddenly telling izuku to marry him as though that would solve everything, solve izuku's worries and fears that he'll never experience love the way his friends had or knows what it feels to come home to a waiting arms that will comfort him after a hard day at work.

izuku first tries to laugh it off because katsuki cant be serious right?? but katsuki doesn't crack a single smile. "Do i look like im the type to joke about this kind shit to you?" he asks, voice steady and true. it is then that izuku realizes katsuki had meant every word he said.

but izuku still cant wrap his head around why would katsuki want to marry him of all things?? it is because they're both bachelor and wretchedly alone standing at the very top of their career where nobody can touch or hope to nobody can understand them like they do to each other?? izuku thinks that's a very dry reason to marry someone for the sake of convenience and not love at all because even though he'd devoted all his time to saving the world and helping ppl and HE'S OLD NOW but he still earnestly yearn to fall in love the ways all his friends had.

"If you needed company, we don't have to marry each other. I'm here for you always, you know that," izuku offers instead. "We're partners."

katsuki is silent briefly, then, he says, "You think i want to marry because you're convenience?"

Izuku blinks. "is that not it?"

"No," he says, all grave and serious, and for a moment izuku is breathless with realization.

"Oh," izuku replies, looking down at the table like it has all the answer in the world. "how long?"

"Since our third year at UA."

izuku jerks his head up, eyes wide with shock.

"what—I, wait, you can't mean that right?" he shakes his head as he flounders for the right words. they're both almost hitting their 50s now, so if it started in their third year then it would be 30 years of katsuki waiting for him, of pining over izuku and all that time was lost because of it.

katsuki press his lips into a thin line. "I have never lie to you."

"I—I'm not—" izuku flushes, because this wasn't anything he had plan for. who would anyway? no one would ever believe that katsuki has been in love with him for almost 30 years and izuku only found out about it now. even though katsuki has revealed the secret he has been hiding for 3 decades, izuku has no answer for him. he didn't notice katsuki's feelings for this long not because he chose to willfully ignore it but because he has never thought of katsuki in that light and that is the sad truth of it all. katsuki must have realizes that too because he doesn't press for more from izuku.

"i'm sorry," izuku says, mind racing to come up with a proper reply to katsuki's feelings because he deserves that much. "it's not you—"

Katsuki scowls. "shut the fuck up, don't even start that with me."

izuku quickly shuts his mouth, floundering for another reply that with save both of their feelings.

"Six months," katsuki says instead, eyes firm and never once dull since izuku has known him. "give me six months to convince you and if it doesn't work out we can get divorce then."

"you still want to marry me?!" izuku asks in disbelief. "shouldn't we like date first at least? isn't that how normal relationship work?!"

katsuki roll his eyes. "we co-own an agency, you have your toothbrush at my house, and we spent 18hrs out of 24 together almost everyday. our friends joke about us being a married to each other as much as to our work, we're each other's first emergency contact if something were to happen," he continues, straightforward like he's listing their grocery for today, "and i cant ever imagine wanting anyone more than i ever want you."

throughout this strange turn in their conversation, izuku realizes not once has he ever heard katsuki said he loves him but the way katsuki had revealed his unwavering devotion that lasts 3 decades and the dry, bluntness in which he spoken of wanting izuku, it's heavy. this hefty thing that katsuki has carried with him for nearly 3 decades, and in those years what izuku thought katsuki was just disinterest in any romantic connection because not once had izuku seen him look at another person, but it's because he has eyes only for izuku and nobody else.

izuku should have known never to expect anything less then 120% with katsuki because if there's anything that means something to katsuki, he would give it all and then some. it's humbling really, to be loved so fiercely and with such devotion that 3 decades is worth every second of it but izuku doesn't know if he's worth it especially when he's hesitant about his own murky feelings. he loves katsuki undoubtedly. they're partners in more way then one, but he doesn't know if he can love katsuki the way he deserves to be love in return, to return that same level of intensity.

"and what if the six months went by and there's nothing show for it?" izuku mumbles, hands clasp together under the table. i dont want to ruin this friendship of ours, he doesn't say. "what if you get bored with me and realized this isn't something you want now. what happen then?"

"you're stuck with me for life even if we get a divorce. i won't let you ever get rid of me either way," katsuki says, lips twitching with the slightest hint of amusement. "and if you're worry about me getting bored of you, don't. i fucking wont." It’s firm, assured, and completely sincere.

izuku thinks anybody with a half a brain at all would see this admirable man right in front of them with his unwavering affection and devotion that he had nurtured for 3 decades would be half way in love already, but izuku neither race or skip a beat; it remains dull and unmoved. maybe he's really too old to love like this. maybe, it's not that he's too busy to ever search for it like everyone else but because he has all the love for everyone but none ever hold a special place in his heart. for all of katsuki's sharp edges, his feelings burn ever so brightly while izuku has since been numb to his own emotions. to give too much to the world, to his job that he has never let himself fall freely and unconditionally. it's terrifying.

"what if i hurt you instead?" he says, quiet and severe. "what if in the end i couldn't return what you've given me?"

katsuki doesn't answer right away. the air around them tenses, threatening to suffocate them in the waiting silence. then a hand grab his and draws it toward katsuki's chest. "don't fucking underestimate me, idiot. i can and will make you fall in love with me in 6 months. 6 months is more than enough to make you realize what a fucking dumbass you have been the entire time for not taking notice of me while i have been looking at you for almost half of our life," he says with the cocky assurance that propelled him to the no. 2 position and beyond.

for the first time since this exchange had started and taken a strange, strange turn that left him his world shaken to its core, izuku's heart feels lighten. He stifles a giggle. "i still think we should date at least. marriage is maybe jumping the gun a little too soon."

"No." Katsuki's eyes narrow, and he squeezes izuku's hand firmly. "i'm not giving you any chance to escape from this. we can do all the dumb dating things you could ever want but we're getting marry first."

izuku tries to draw his hand back but katsuki remains undeterred. "Kacchan, please," he says. half begging for his hand back and half pleading against his insane idea. who in their right mind would ever marry first then date each other?! That's just not how it work! yet, katsuki is an unmovable fortress against increasing izuku's distress.

"deku," he says, thumb running across izuku's knuckles in a soothing circle, "give me this chance. let me prove it to you that i can do it. take this leap of faith with me and i won't disappoint you. trust me with your heart like you trust me with your life and i promise i will keep it safe."

izuku draws out a long, lingering breath that leaves his head heady with a dawning realization. "o-okay," he finally acquiesces, shaken with the knowledge that his heart suddenly doesn't feel safe at all for the first time in a long time in the hands of the man in front of him. bakugou katsuki is dangerous, but to the tender beat of his heart.

Katsuki's lips stretch upward into a small, precious smile that rarely see the light of day, leaving izuku breathless just for a moment. "we'll go get the marriage license tomorrow."

"tomorrow?!" izuku shrieks.

maybe he has been wrong all along, maybe you're never too old fall in love and experience it for the first time and that sometimes the things that matter the most to you are always worth the wait even if take 3 decades and katsuki always been more patient then people give him credits for.

[cosmicbash]

this is hella specific but my personal sadistic liking i guess, but imagine kells and em were rough fucking and em goes too far and kells actually starts to cry in pain and takes a few seconds for em to notice but when he does, his whole personality does a 180° and he becomes the sweetest motherfucking thing

im not sure if u saw my post where i said i like crying kells/ soft em combo

When they first started fucking it was always rough. There was teeth, nails, blood, like the two of them were trying to tear the other to pieces just as badly as they were trying to meld their bodies together.

Eventually things started to even out, their fucking softened the same way their voices and touches did.

Actual feelings blossoming and a relationship rising from the scorched earth they liked to think their original beef had caused.

They couldn't call it hatefucking anymore, not when the hate was gone and something warm and scarily close to love had slithered in its place.

So now their sex was mostly normal, tinted with moments of softness or the rushed clumsiness of some spontaneous hookup. But, that didn't mean the roughness was completely gone.

They'd fucked that way in the beginning for a reason. It was good. Colson's nails cutting into his back or along his scalp to try and futilely pull on his short hair just felt invigorating. Like it lit a fire deep in Marshall's stomach that he'd long thought smothered.

They still fucked hard, and fast, just not as often. Sometimes after a nasty argument to get out the anger, other times just because the blonde came to him with that challenging glint in his eyes begging for a punishment.

Tonight was the latter.

Overall it had seemed like a perfect day, their voices soft and smiles softer over the course of a rare breakfast together and an even rarer lunch. The usually annoying call of a 'required' industry party appearance actually pleasing Marshall for once just because it meant he had an excuse to linger in LA, to publicly visit the same event as his boyfriend with little suspicion. Colson had stayed overnight to steal the whole day together in preparation. It was perfect.

So of course Marshall should have seen the devious little plan of his boyfriends coming. Colson always buttered him up before he got bratty.

It started with batted eyelashes and flirty licks of icing off some silly cupcakes, and ended with some other douchebag snaking his slimy presence into Colson's bubble. Stealing away attention that wasn't meant for anyone but Marshall.

The sparkle in Colson's last glance his way had announced the request for tonight's sex better than any words the blonde could have simply used instead.

So that's what Marshall gave him when they got back to the hotel room, a firm fist in the back of blonde locks. Colson's arrival an infuriating 20 minutes later than his own.

Per usual the younger rapper barely struggled, the glee on his face at Marshall's jealousy so much stronger than any desire he may have had to play along with a few feigned huffs.

It was hot, seeing Colson smile so catlike up at him with every rip of expensive cotton and snapped threads through Marshall's trembling fingers. He honestly didn't know if he wanted to strangle the brat or grab him like something precious. Colson just knew every button to press to get him riled up and angry. Teetering on the edge of real rage and violent jealousy that might have fucked up his marriage but somehow never truly settled here between them. Because looking into those sparkling mischevious eyes Marshall somehow always knew it was fake, that no matter how many times Colson and he played this game the blonde would never actually cross the line and cheat or hurt him.

The fire in his stomach burned white hot on nights like this. Where his hands could curl tight around Colson's wrists and risk leaving bruises both along them and the small of the boy's back where they sat pinned. Marshall's other hand roughly stretching open a hole he can tell has been fingered already in the car or maybe even at the party itself in hopes he would just bend it's owner over and force his way inside the moment they met back up. But that was a risk Marshall wouldn't take, not one where his assumption could seriously hurt Colson, no matter how many times he found the blonde already slick and ready. Because yes it was rough, and they still clawed at one another and bit mutual bruises along pale skin but it was also still more like making love than the angry hate fucking they'd had in the beginning.

Which is why as his hips snap in their rapid pace and his fingers cut into Colson's skin Marshall faintly notes the shift in his boyfriend's spine. Colson's still moaning, still rocking back to meet his harsh thrusts but theirs a silent thought nagging at the back of the older rapper's brain about it. Like there's something right in front of him that he just can't decypher yet.

The sex swamped part of his mind only urges him to go harder, reminds him of how his boyfriend has only come once so far and how utterly beautiful he looks overstimulated and trembling from a second uninterrupted orgasm. Brushing the blip of concern off as a moment of overthinking while he chases down his own release.

Marshall's eyes have slipped closed and his fingers tightened to that nail cutting grip when he hears it. The slight change in pitch to Colson's cries, not enough of a warning for his own hips to slow down. Not with how tight his stomach is getting and ready to burst his balls feel while he somehow finds the ability to speed up his fucking. Thighs clapping loud and fast against Colson's like he's going to fuck his way right through the other man. Increase his tempo until the seperate beats turn into one long ring.

Colson jerks beneath him then, not in his own release but away from his grip like the fire in Marshall's stomach has finally leeched its way outside to burn him. The usual chorus of "ah, ah, ah-" replaced by a wet sounding and higher pitched copy. Less pleause and more pain. Cutting through the older rapper's own roaring pleasure like a hot knife.

He's seconds away from coming. Just a handful more of thrusts and he could be pumping the tight hole clenching double time down on his cock full, but Marshall's heart has already dropped.

He's out of Colson in an instant, not caring how dizzy his own movements make him or how his cock throbs agonizingly for release. The fear bubbling up is too strong for him to care. "S-shit, Col, baby, I-I'm sorry-"

He's on his side, rough fingers now jarringly delicate as he curls around the blonde to pepper a dozen apologetic kisses along his shoulders. Careful as he turns Colson's flushed face to see the genuine tear tracks that have wettened perfect cheeks. A complete contrast to the harsh grab and jut of thumb into jaw hinge he'd done only an hour earlier on in the night.

"Shh, baby, I'm sorry, shh, where does it hurt?" There's a hundred different things rushing through Marshall's mind. Second guesses on how prepped Colson had been, how harsh his last bite was, on the belittling terms his dirty talk had included. What he could possibly do to fix the tear stained mess he's creates on his boyfriend's beautiful face.

"No-" Colson's voice is still tight, his eyebrows scrunched. "Don't-" a hiss and Marshall's stomach can't drop any deeper. But then crytal blue eyes are opening to meet his and the unmistakable sound of a bitter laugh is tumbling past Colson's lips.

The look shot is way sparkling with the request of forgiveness. "Just my hip-" And Colson's smiling at him, weak and sheepish like knows a reprimand is coming his way. The heavy wet weight of tears hanging on his lashes softening his eyes to emphasize that boyish charm the older rapper was smitten by.

His hip. The one he'd injured last week falling off stage and swore up and down to Marshall was fine all week. The brunette wants to collapse back onto the bed in relief and also smack his idiot of a boyfriend aside his head for terrifying him like that.

He settles in the middle with a sigh and soft bump of their foreheads together. Palm cupping Colson's wet cheek and eyes closing to thank whatever deity above exists that he didn't actually cross that invisible line inside himself and directly hurt Colson on his own.

"I love you." Colson's voice is still a little rough, still silently asking for forgiveness, and Marshall can't help but sigh again and try to smother that insecurity with slow kiss. Fingers softly skating through bleached hair and body rolling cautiously close to connect their skin.

"I love you too-" he sweeps away the salty tears with some scattered kisses. Fingers leaving his boyfriends hair to stroke down over the hot jut of unknowingly tender skin he'd been further injuring. "You idiot." The insult could be directed at either of them. Colson for lieing and himself for forgetting how dismissive his boyfriend could be of his own health.

"It- it wasn't that bad-" Marshall finds his mouth smothering an argument. Not interested in hearing the same childish defense from his boyfriend. Mentally he's already searching for the contact of his wonderful chiropractor to schedule Colson an emergency appointment and just how quickly he can get the precious man into a warm bath to soothe the ache.

[chaotic-noceur]

if you love something, let it go

[ day 2 | angstageddon masterlist ]

pairing: Javier Peña x reader

summary: Javier is familiar with the concept of love, but it is not something he’ll allow himself to indulge in.

warnings: heavy angst, swearing, degradation (DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE NOT IN A GOOD MENTAL SPACE)

credits: shout out to my loves @din-damn-djarin @ezrasarm for beta reading and letting me hurt them at too-early-in-the-morning o’clock! Some dialogue was prompted by this shadowhunters clip.

a/n: I AM SORRY. I love every single one of you reading this but I’m an angry sad soul and it had to go somewhere 😬also, im a little all over the place rn so i might be a little slow on replies but im sending all of you virtual hugs!

Seriously, DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE NOT IN A GOOD HEAD SPACE.  

gif by @pascvl​

You lose your breath every time he walks into the room. Your heart beats faster when he passes by. Your skin tingles when his breath kisses your skin as he hovers over your shoulder. You think this is the feeling that they talk about in the movies. You think this is love. The thought makes your heart flutter.

His mind goes blank every time he sees you. His heart flares when he hears your laughter and he’s not the cause of it. His mind replays your conversations on an endless loop. He thinks this is the feeling that his father had told him about. He thinks this is love. The thought makes his stomach churn. 

●●●●

The betting pool is started by a new trainee looking to make some quick cash. He bet that he could get a confession out of Javier Peña before the year was through. When word gets out that there’s a wager for the office’s resident grump to finally ‘get his head out of his ass and admit his feelings’, agents from every department are quick to place their bets. It didn’t take a trained agent to see that the pair of you were hopelessly in love.

The pool gets spread so far up the ranks that even Messina hears the whispers. She turns a blind eye to the childish game. She knows that the rumours of their infamous philanderer in love were only that: rumours, half truths, lies. A man with his history wouldn’t know what love was even if it was staring him in the face.

Days turn into weeks, which turn into months but no amount of meddling by the trainees is enough to draw out an admission of his affections. Steve watches you from his perch on Javier’s desk as his partner stabs at the typewriter keys. “You could just talk to 'em instead of destroying government assets.” There’s a smugness in his voice that tells Javier that his meddlesome partner is smirking. 

“Fuck off Murphy.” Your laughter cuts through the bustling office chatter. Javier looks up to see a fresh-faced trainee leaning against your desk, taking up too much of your personal space for his liking. He grits his teeth and once again the sound of his furious typing takes over the room. Steve throws his hands up in mock surrender.

●●●●

The clearing of a throat has you turning your head over your shoulder, coffee pot in hand. Steve is leaning against the door frame with one eyebrow raised. You roll your eyes at him as you return to your coffee making. 

“What do you want, Murphy?” you call over your shoulder, feigned curiosity lacing your voice. You know what he wants. He has that look in his eye, the one that says ‘how many more times do we need to have this talk’. 

“Don’t give me that shit,” he starts. You raise an unamused eyebrow at him in return. He puts his mug down beside you, leans his hip against the counter and folds his arms as he turns to you. “If I have to slap him out of his daydream one more time, he won’t have a face anymore.” You scoff.

“You have no proof that he daydreams about me.” He opens his mouth to speak but your finger strikes his chest before he can. Coffee splashes against the inside of the pot dangerously as you move. “And even if he does, that doesn’t mean he’s in love with me.” Steve snorts at your words.

“Oh, he’s in love with you alright. He talks about you so much that even Connie’s getting fed up.” You shake your head in mock disbelief, an attempt to hide the sheepish smile creeping its way onto your face. The blond man sees right through your charade. “Just, tell him for fucks sake. I need my partner back if we’re gonna take down Escobar.”

You open your mouth to counter him but he’s out of the room before you can organise your thoughts. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice his empty cup sitting beside yours. You huff out a laugh, “idiot.”

●●●●

Two months and countless Steve-terventions later, you’d decided that enough was enough. You were getting tired of living in the ‘what ifs’. You wanted to love and be loved by Javier Peña. 

The thought of planning some kind of grand extravagant gesture had crossed your mind but this was Javier you were talking about. He hated grand extravagant gestures. So you settled for just… telling him. No beating around the bush, no carefully-worded metaphors. Just you, your words and your heart. God, you hoped that was enough.

You’re getting ready to leave when the light reflecting off a nearby desk lamp catches your attention. Tracing it back to its source, you find Javier hunched over a heap of files. Spreads of paper are sprawled across every available surface. The corner of your lips turn upwards when he pulls a face at the document in front of him. 

You purse your lips as you contemplate your options: talk to him now, with nowhere to hide from the consequences of your declaration or talk to him during official work hours, where you could be spared prolonged embarrassment. Dozens of scenarios play themselves out in your head, your familiar daydreams altering themselves to fit the scene before you. You let out a puff of air as you settle on talking to him now. Fewer witnesses, for good or for bad. 

You dig around your drawer for your secret stash of snacks before making your way to him. He looks up when he hears the familiar rustling of the packet. A tired smile graces his face as you pull Steve’s chair around, dropping the packet onto his desk as you sit. You fall into the familiar routine and he hands you a nearby file. Occasionally, your elbows kiss and you exchange quiet apologies while pretending you don’t crave each other’s touch.

You’re sweeping stray sheets of paper into your hand when it dawns on you that the ‘right time’ will never come unless you make it. A determined exhale leaves you as you reach across his desk while he files the last of the paperwork. “I need to tell you something and I need you to listen to me.” 

The way you’re looking at him sends a chill down his spine. There’s a fire behind your eyes that he’s never seen before and he doesn’t know what to expect. He nods solemnly instead. This is it, he thinks. She’s going to tell me that I’m a burden or that I’m a fuck up. He braces himself for the news.

“I…” his eyes are fixed on you and you glance away briefly as your confidence wavers. Just tell him. He loves you too. Steve assured you of it. The sheets of paper rustle in your hand as you tighten your grip. “I love you, Javi.” 

Deep brown eyes widen in shock. His heart falters as the weight of your words sink in. He blinks at you hesitantly, wondering if he’d misheard. When you say nothing, fireworks explode in his belly as he searches for his words but- oh.

Why? Why him? Don’t you know of everything that he’s done? He left his high school sweetheart at the altar without so much as a goodbye. He didn’t even have the decency to send her an apology and he can barely bring himself to feel guilty. He’s lied, cheated, and killed without an ounce of remorse. Worst of all, he’d do it all again if it means getting Escobar. He was a monster and a killer. He doesn’t deserve love. Not after everything he’s done. Not after the way he treated his first one. So he does the logical thing. He pushes you away, puts up the barricades and lines them with barbed wire.

“You shouldn’t,” he replies. He jerks his arm away and turns his back to you, moving to store the file in the cabinet behind him.

“But I do. Javi, I-”

“No!” He slams the metal cabinet shut for emphasis. The scraping of rusty metal echoes through the room. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. But Steve had said!

“Just tell me you don’t love me too and I’ll stop. Tell me you don’t feel what I feel. Tell me that your heart doesn’t skip a beat when you make me laugh. Tell me that you don’t count the hours until you get to see me again. Tell me that you don’t wish it was me that you wake up next to instead of-” you choke on your words, instead of your ‘informants’.

He spins around sharply and you fix your gaze on him, desperately willing your heart to stop pounding in your ears. Fiery brown orbs stare back at you instead, void of their previous tenderness. He holds your gaze as he takes curt steps towards you. He’s close enough now that you can feel his breath on your face and your heart clenches in misplaced hope. Your breath hitches as he leans in. 

“I don’t.”

With two words, you see your world shatter before your eyes. You flinch back in response but he keeps going, leaning closer as you draw away. “I don’t love you.” His voice is cold and deadly. It’s icier than you’ve ever heard it and you’ve seen him threaten the devil’s right-hand man. You bite the inside of your cheek in a feeble attempt to stop the tears from welling in your eyes. He doesn’t mean it, you lie to yourself. He can’t mean it. He-

“I never have and I never will. You are nothing but a distraction to me.” He slows his words as he speaks, as if needing to emphasise them. “Do you think you’re important? That you matter? I can’t even tell you what colour your eyes are without looking at them first.” It’s a lie. But you deserve better than a screw up like him. He can’t give you the life you deserve, the life he needs you to live. The life that he wants but can never have. He can’t drag you into the endless pit of darkness that he’s learnt to call home. He won’t. 

He clenches his jaw and brings his lips to your ear, shoving down the urge to kiss you. “I could never love someone as pathetic and weak as you.” He whispers his words like a slow-acting venom, delivering his final blow. He knows he’s hit the mark when he hears the choked sob that leaves your body. He pulls away to see your fists balled at your side as tears glide down your face.

He didn’t have to do that. He could’ve just said no but he didn’t. Instead, he’d rubbed salt into unhealed wounds that you’d made the mistake of showing him. He wanted to hurt you and that made you angry. A quiet voice whispers that he’s hiding behind his words, that there’s more to the story. You silence the voice without a second thought because right now? You don’t care why he did it. All you feel is anger, and pain. 

The fire from before morphs into something sinister and you let the flames grow. It licks at your heart, daring it to explode, to unleash everything you’ve been holding back. So you let him burn in your rage. You let him burn and you drown out the screams.

“Fuck you, Javier Peña!” Your finger stabs into his chest in time with each word. “Fuck you and everything you fight for!” You flail your arms out wide. He flinches but you don’t notice. “All you care about is Escobar. You don’t give a shit who you hurt along the way, as long as you get what you want.” 

You scoff as you fold your arms across your chest. You’re breathing hard out of your nose and you hate the way Javier holds your gaze. You hate the way it challenges you to keep going, almost like he’s enjoying it.

You grind your teeth together as you calm the raging flames inside your chest. “No matter how you spin it Javier, whatever bullshit you tell yourself to get yourself to sleep at night... it’s just that. Bullshit.” You shake your head in frustration as you spin on your heels, turning to leave. 

A picture of him and Murphy falls into your line of sight and something sparks within you. An ember in the dying flames. You drag all the emotion out of your voice before speaking. You need him to hear your words without them being clouded by your fury. “When Murphy walks away from it all, he’ll have someone to go home to. You?” you glance over your shoulder to look at him, “you’ll never have anyone.”

He stays frozen in place until the sound of your shoes tapping against the floor has long since faded. A single tear rolls down the left side of his cheek. I wish it could be you.

——angstageddon tag list

@din-damn-djarin @ezrasarm @chaoticspaceidiot @engineeredfiction @pedropascalito @dreamgirl-67 @hillarymurray4 @wille-zarr @oloreaa @this-cat-is-dea @marydjarin @roxypeanut @cryptkeepersoul @agirllovespasta @wickedfrsgrl @dindisneydjarin  @opheliaelysia @aeryntheofficial @adikaofmandalore​ @goldafterglow​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @chibi-liz05​ @scarlettvonsass​ @rpcvliz​ @cinewhore​ @basura2319​ @theravenreads​ @mxndoscyarika​ @jaime1110​ @f0rever15elf​ @pancakepike​ @phoenixhalliwell​

[milkygcf]

UNDER THE MISTLETOE

Pairing | knj x gender-neutral reader

Genre | tooth-rotting fluff i think, established relationship

Warnings | just a tiny bit of cursing, the boys are a chaotic mess

Summary | ❝ Nothing can beat a holiday spent with Namjoon.❞

Word Count | 4.1k

Author’s Note | THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE MESS I’M SORRY 😭🙏 i rush wrote this so i could put up something for christmas. nonetheless, i hope whoever reads this enjoys it! also, big thanks to @youarejesting​ for the banner! i love it, it’s so cute :( another little side note is, this is also part of @btscreatorscorner​‘s Crystal Snow Event! make sure to take a look at all the other works :] happy holidays!

Christmas with Namjoon is always a wild ride. From hectic decoration shopping to disastrous baking, to actual decorating and singing Christmas songs together. However, it's not like you're complaining, because as rowdy as Christmas time can be with your significant other, nothing can beat a holiday spent with Namjoon.

Every year is an open door to new shenanigans, handmade gifts and memories that embed themselves warmly into your heart. This year isn't any different, except for the fact that the rest of the group were joining for dinner - along with the chaos they always brought along with them. As close as you are with your boyfriend, not even your connection could beat theirs. It's heart-warming - as much as they argue, nothing could possibly tear them apart. Nothing could bring you any more serotonin than the jovial smile that attacks Namjoon's handsome features whenever they're around.

Now, you’re all nearing your thirties - except for Jungkook, he was still bearing life without early back problems - and you suppose you all look the part as well. Unless it's Christmas season and the young man himself proposes they all compete in a Best Decorated House competition between themselves. The winner earns himself an extra present from every participant - which you find rather amusing because you're pretty sure they were willing to buy each other the world in a blink of an eye. The loser, however, gets to wash every dish used during dinner. Ouch.

"Deal!" Namjoon hollers, finger pointed up in agreement, his chest puffed out in pride. You know he's going to stress about it later on because as much as you love the man, he's absolute shit when it comes to decorating. If it weren't for you, his house would be a shit-show. Sorry, Namjoon.

"Can't wait to beat all of your sorry asses!" Seokjin yells even louder, an arm hooked around Yoongi's waist. The energy he radiates astonishes you because even if he's the eldest from the lot, he's always the energetic one. Seokjin might as well be your icon.

And that's how it all began - the calm before the storm. But then again, them proposing this very idea wasn't exactly calm.

You feel a shy tap on your shoulder while you're busy scanning through your fifth isle. Namjoon holds out a tiny Christmas tree to you, his eyes round and shiny. You already know you won't be able to refuse. "Can we get it? Please - my bonsai needs a new friend."

"I think your bonsai would be sad to know their friend is made out of plastic, Joon."

"Well, they wouldn't be sad if they didn't know, right?"

His grin is brimming with mirth. He knows what you're going to say - there was no need to even ask you in the first place because he knew you could never resist his puppy eyes. "Fine," you sigh softly, offering him your sweetest smile. "Make sure Mon doesn't swallow it whole. That dog is a menace."

"He has a restless soul. We'll buy him reindeer ears on our way home."

"Yes!" It elicits giggles from both of you - Namjoon had introduced you to Rapmon just two months into the relationship, claiming you must meet your competition because it's only fair. Frankly, you think the dog himself is competing with your boyfriend - the second you set sight on his silky fur you’ve vowed to never leave his side. Rapmon was an absolute gem. From then on, he was a big part of the events you celebrated together - the main character in your little shenanigans.

Once you've both paid whatever you needed for the day, heaving a ton of shopping bags, you step out of the shop in a fit of giggles. As sophisticated and stern as Namjoon may look, he's quite possibly the clumsiest giant you've ever met. Unfortunately for him, he had accidentally ripped one of the bags you had brought along and as he readied to lift it, all contents came tumbling out as he gawked in terror. Red instantly rushed to his cheeks and you found it hard not to burst out laughing in his face. He wouldn't want to become more flustered than he already felt.

"Every day I wake up to the face of embarrassment," he mumbles ashamedly, shaking his head in dismay. You could only continue to chortle before leaning in to place a tender kiss on his cheek. "It's okay dummy," his cheeks redden even more, "Would some hot chocolate fix your mood?" The second the words slip out of your lips, his face no longer holds a grim expression.

Getting hot chocolate from Pixie’s Magic! is like a tradition between you and Namjoon. Not only was it where you both had met, but it served the most delicious brews you’ve ever tasted. Nothing could possibly beat this little shop in the corner of the mall you were currently in. 

Although it was usually calm and quiet, it seemed to be bustling the day you both go out to buy Christmas decorations. There’s a myriad of people piling up in plan of buying themselves the warmest cup of cocoa - a cup of happiness that would complete their own Christmas. Within that queue of people were families, couples and even people who spend their time alone during the festive season. Pixie’s hot cocoa never failed to brighten days.

You scout through your newly bought items for anything that might pass time. Namjoon stands beside you with his phone in hand, thumb clumsily scrolling through whatever he’d missed from the boys’ usual spam session. “Hoseok’s already got most of his decorations up. Something tells me we’re not winning this so easily.” 

“We’re literally up against Seokjin and Jungkook.” 

He pulls his lips in a taut line - going up against those two was a one way stop to instant loss. Nothing, absolutely nothing could beat either one of them. The competition was and will always be between Seokjin and Jungkook because both were as dense as a brick and would stop at nothing to earn themselves a victory. Frankly, you found it entertaining, even if they were constantly at each other’s throats and threatening to burn each other down - jokingly, of course, you’d never condone violence. Brotherly love if you’ve ever seen it. 

“They’re out of the question. We’re up against the rest, those two idiots can eat an egg.” His bluntness makes you burst into fits of giggles, earning the clear attention of those either ahead of you or waiting (im)patiently behind. Namjoon always had a rather poetic way of saying things. “An egg? You’d be doing them a favour.”

He doesn’t quite realise what you mean until a few seconds later when he breathes out a dejected sigh and massages his temple soothingly. “They’re a whole mess.” 

And he’s right, because when you’re back in the comfort of your humble abode with a warm cup of cocoa waiting for you in the living room, Namjoon’s phone keeps endlessly buzzing. 

“You can’t keep ignoring them forever, you know.”

Namjoon sometimes thinks about how difficult his life would be without you. Go figure that there was no way of avoiding them, right? If you hadn’t told him, he would’ve never guessed so.

The couch sinks underneath his weight as he plants himself beside you, placing a mushy kiss onto your cheek. He’s quick to hand you his beverage once Mon literally hops onto him, wagging his tail like the euphoric little rascal that he is. And there’s peace and quiet, the sound of the crackle of the fireplace, until Namjoon’s thumb slides over the tiny green button making his phone constantly vibrate.

“Namjoon! What took you so long?!”

Seokjin’s voice comes booming out of the device nestled in your boyfriend’s palm. You must admit - it startled you just a bit, but it’s not like you weren’t used to their rambunctious behaviour. “We thought you died. Almost worried us for a while there.”

“Actually,” Jimin so pridefully interrupts, “He was just about ready to forget about you. Don’t act like you didn’t see cloud nine when Tae suggested Joon backed out.” It was all fun and games, affectionate brotherly love between the lot until suddenly, it was a trademarked apocalypse. Truly mind-blowing. 

“You tattletale-!”

“Don’t worry Seokjin,” you snort, “He’s still up and running.” 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing!” Offence washes over Namjoon’s face - perhaps it really is him against the world. Kim Namjoon could trust no one. You could only poke your tongue out at him, earning yourself a blissful smile. “Not at all.”

“Ew. Stop flirting - this isn’t about you, this is about the progress you’re doing.” Seokjin scoffs, making the latter silently giggle to themselves. He has absolutely no filter - nothing could get in the way of the man’s priorities. “Tell that to Yoongi.” His boyfriend was sitting right beside him - and poor him, because Yoongi has to be the strongest man to ever set foot on earth. He’s been dealing with Seokjin’s shit for over a good year or so now. 

“Believe me, I might just knock him out.”

“No way - who’s going to peel your tangerines for work then? Ungrateful imp.” 

Their bickering continues to produce light laughter from the lot of you until you decide it's about time you update each other on your progress. Surprisingly enough, Hoseok was much farther ahead than you all anticipated, and it earned you another fifteen minutes worth of competitive yelling between the youngest and the eldest.

But that was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Move it a little bit to the left," you instructed stringently, hands planted firmly on your hips as your boyfriend does whatever he's told. The tree jiggles with every waking movement, making Namjoon groan at the heavyweight it settles upon him. "Is this alright?" He mumbles tiredly, eyeing you from the depths of its branches.

You could only nibble on your lip, your eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Maybe a bit to the right."

Even when he's exhausted, even when he's sick and tired of turning a piece of mere decoration to countless directions, he doesn't complain. Namjoon wasn't exactly fond of religious festivities, but spending Christmas with you is always something he looks forward to. Setting the deal aside, it was always enjoyable bringing a little life to the house with someone he adores and his heart beats for. "Perfect! Could you grab the baubles? I'll get the ornaments."

Teamwork makes the dream work. An idiom he liked to say on the daily - it always worked between the two of you. Six hours worth of work put into four and the mess that bested every nook and cranny of your house now lessened. You hang the last bauble and sigh in content. "Doesn't it look pretty? I think this is our best one yet."

"Well, technically speaking, I couldn't expect any less from you, bun." His tone of voice resembles that of a young boy in love, his eyes sparkling under the colourful Christmas lights nestled comfortably in the tree's branches as he looks at you with a bashful smile. It's moments like these when you're so caught up in the things you do together, these blissful moments that you realise just how grateful you are for Namjoon. You love him, you love him so much. Nothing could be a better present than spending time with him. He's your bundle of pure euphoria.

"The tree's feeling a little bland, don't you think?"

It takes you a moment to take notice of what he actually meant before you feel extra weight added on top of your head. He teasingly hangs the finishing piece away from you, puckering his lips in hopes he'd earn himself something sweet in return for the star. You could only roll your eyes, but nonetheless, nothing stops you from latching your lips onto his and giving him your love.

Without hesitation, Namjoon scoops you up onto his shoulders, he guides you towards the crest of the tree and watches with bright eyes as you ecstatically plant the finale to the first phase of your decorating. Monnie scratches at the latter's legs in pure joy, barking at you both to signal his presence as well. It elicits laughter, and as Namjoon gently sets you back down, you let your fingers ruffle his fur as he licks at your face.

However, your hours upon hours of decorating doesn't end there, the tinsel messily spread underneath you is a clear indication of this.

With an exhausted huff, you look at Namjoon with hopeful eyes. There's still much to be done.

---

Looks tend to be deceiving when it comes to Kim Namjoon. People tended to deem him as a friendly giant, however, when it came to snowball fights, he was far from that. Like a devil crawling out the pits of hell.

The day you decide to pamper the outdoors of your house, snow starts dribbling from the skies above you. A miracle, because it’s never really snowed so early in December. 

You’re busy setting up mistletoe in front of your front door until you’re barreling forward from the force of something wet on your back. It couldn’t have been Mon - he was sleeping soundlessly inside. But your boyfriend wasn’t - instead, he was childishly running around the front lawn bearing snowballs. 

“Namjoon!” You shriek in utter disbelief, turning around only to face a devious grin. Pure evil dripped from him - Namjoon was no longer the soft bear who insisted you play with his hair. He was now a foe. “You’re going to pay for that!” As quickly as you could, you bear your own weaponry to pay back his foolish actions. 

His giggles echoed across the small space you’re in and before you could even comprehend what was happening, he was already aiming another shot at you. Unfortunately, you were too slow against him. 

Splat!

Three points for Kim Namjoon!

At your absolute suffering, his laughter only gets louder over Mariah Carey’s gorgeous singing coming from inside. “You’ll pay for this, you evil man!” However, your threats are only drowned out by his boisterous laughter. “I’d like to see you try!” 

And you do. Because while he’s busy laughing his ass off at your misery, you earn yourself the rightful chance to aim a snowball right into his face. Three points? You just scored a whole seven. 

He’s baffled - completely, utterly speechless at what’s happened. Well, you definitely weren’t going to stand there and let him conquer victory, he knew that for a fact. He just didn’t think you’d be so blunt. Now you’ve earned him a pink nose. But was he going to let you get away with it? No, Namjoon’s a Virgo. 

He charges towards you like a clumsy child. You almost screech in surprise, instead, busting out in fits of laughter as you tumble and trip away from him. “Hey-! Get back here!” He cries out, almost face-planting into a hefty pile of snow. That would’ve been outright hilarious. 

“Just try and catch me, big man!”

It’s light-hearted, it’s all lively and pleasant. You were both adults, but nothing stopped you from feeding into the fruits of life and feeling youthful sometimes. You both did it for the hell of it because you knew that with each other, you could be anything. 

You’re too busy laughing to actually take notice of where your feet were taking you, feigning into the mess beneath you and tripping in your own feet. A loud thud leaves your descent, and with that, your boyfriend tumbling down on top of you because he was too clumsy for his own good. It was cute, really. Namjoon lets out a terrified shriek, his arms landing just beside your head - luckily because you’re pretty sure you would’ve earned yourself a long-surviving black-eye. 

“Got you,” he says rather flusteredly. There’s a hint of panic in his eyes that almost seems as if he’s seen God himself. Had the fall really taken the piss out of him? 

“No,” you state, shaking your head as best as you can. “Technically speaking, I got you.” You place a quick kiss on his pretty pink nose just for good measure, because in truth, you really did get him. He was on three points while you were on a steady seven. Namjoon pulls his lips in a taut line ever so shyly, hiding the growing smile planting itself on his face. No longer was he your arch-nemesis - your boyfriend was back to being your friendly neighbourhood giant. “Shouldn’t we get back to decorating? I thought you wanted to beat the others.” Perhaps it slipped through his mind because the second those words slip through yours, he’s already hoisting himself up and pulling you along with him. Kim Namjoon does not give up in the face of competition, that much is clear, even when he’d previously been working off a snowball fight.

“I couldn’t help myself!” He defends nonetheless, his palm scratching shyly at his mess of a mane. “But now that I think about it, we can have as many snowball fights as we want when we kick ass. A win-win situation, if I do say so myself.”

A win-win situation indeed. 

When the boys call later on in the evening, it becomes clear that Namjoon was second in lead - Jimin taking first place. While the rest were busy taking things easily, he’d effortlessly managed to get things done in only a short matter of time. He definitely wasn’t there to play. 

“No way. You’re cheating!” Taehyung accuses, astonishment evident from the little you could see of his face. His lighting was absolute crap. Despite his belief, Jimin easily shakes off his accusation with a mischievous grin. “I don’t know Taehyung, maybe if you hadn’t been slacking off at Taco Bell you would’ve been catching up.” 

“Wha-! What a heathen - I’d choose Taco Bell over this any day!”

“How dare you! This is Christmas decorating you red-headed scoundrel!”

“This isn’t about you Seokjin!”

“Might as well be,” Yoongi mumbles from beside him, lazily scrolling through his phone as a yawn escapes his lips. You might just think he’s aged by a couple of years because of this ordeal. “You’re all complete losers,” Jungkook comments, face completely mushed against his phone as he nibbles on whatever was in front of him. The kid feared absolutely nothing - the wrath of a butthurt Kim Seokjin wasn’t any different.

Namjoon squints at his phone. He clearly wasn’t wearing his glasses, nor his contact lenses, and you knew he’d face the consequences later on. You’ve spent countless days by his side tending to his colossal headache. “Are you… Are you eating raw pop tarts?”

“Yes.”

“Raw. Aren’t you supposed to toast them?” There’s confusion laced in his tone, and in between, intense fear. “That’s like, a felony.”

Jungkook lets out a scandalised gasp. “No way! I’m not letting this piece of divine heaven be tainted by modern technology! I don’t even have a toaster, and there’s no way in hell I’m touching the microwave.”

Hoseok snickers. “He thinks it’s going to explode.”

“Don’t test me! I know the evil that sits within that thing.” 

As complex at it was, you’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no explaining what these men are made out of. They’re simply built differently. In fact, you’ve grown out of trying to comprehend them, because you could be on your death-bed and they’d still be saying and doing things that would make you sigh and shake your head. 

---

Alas, the day has come, and so have the boys, who just wouldn’t stop rambunctiously banging on your door. You’re busy setting up the table, Mon at your feet wagging his tail excitedly. “Namjoon!” You call out, balancing a few plates on the palms of your hands. “Namjoon! Could you get the door?”

However, as much as you yell, Namjoon doesn’t respond. You suppose it’s because he hasn’t come back from wherever he had gone earlier during the day. Odd. 

Nonetheless, you set a few plates down on the dining table, hurriedly skipping over to your front door only to be trampled by none other than your special guests for the night. “Finally!” A rather over-dramatic Seokjin sighs, patting away the invisible sweat dripping down his forehead. “Waiting for you to open was like running a marathon. I swear!” 

You could only laugh as Jimin pulls you in for an embrace - it was in his habits to do so whenever he saw you. It’s not as if you mind, his hugs were by far the best you’ve felt. They were full of love and warmth, something that perfectly describes the man himself. “Don’t mind him,” he tells you, rolling his eyes at the dramatics his friend was making. “He really needed to piss.” 

“Sorry for taking so long - Namjoon hasn’t gotten back home from this morning.” 

“He hasn’t?” Yoongi neatly sets his shoes by the door, unwrapping a thick scarf from his neck, dangling it on your coat hanger. “That’s pretty unusual, he doesn’t like being out in cold weather.” 

“He probably got into some traffic,” you assume, “Hopefully he’ll be back soon. Until then, make yourselves at home. We’ll order take-out soon!”

All of you were like a proper family when it came to celebrating Christmas. Each year, sleepovers are taken in turns going from eldest to youngest. This year just so happens to be Namjoon’s turn - it’s not as if you mind, the house seems more lively when they’re around. They had that thing about them, that wherever they went they tended to make things brighter. Not once have you felt gloomy or perhaps left out. The seven of them all had qualities in contrast to one another, all showing you different ways of happiness. You’re lucky to say you have them in your life.

The wait for Namjoon continues. You all settle with playing board games, for the time being, the living room turning into a whole battleground because Yoongi can’t go by without cheating once in a while. He was really cunning, you could see Taehyung trying to pick up on his tricks. 

“Uno!” Jimin yells, shoving a proud middle finger in Seokjin’s face. The man could faint from the amount of disrespect he was receiving. “Try beating that, old man.” 

“I’ll tell you I’m more than an old man! I want a rematch. You’re all cheats, all of you.”

“You’re just a sore loser.” Jungkook was on thin ice. His nitpicking on Seokjin was getting him nowhere but pure, utter hell while he was sleeping. You admire his courage - he was fucking insane. “Sore losers don’t win, old man.” 

Seokjin almost gets up to throttle him for his constant bullying when the door swings open and you’re all met by layers upon layers of clothing stomping inside. He’s carrying a bunch of bags you can’t seem to decipher, and you could see his nose poking out from his scarf. 

Finally, Namjoon’s back home. 

“Hey __, I’m back. I’m sorry I took so-” 

“Joon, you idiot!” Before you could even bat an eye, Taehyung and Hoseok were on the man like hungry beasts. He was already eaten up by whatever garments he was wearing, the only pieces missing were the duo for him to finally disappear. “What took you so long? We were worried sick! Jimin can’t DJ for the life of him.” 

“Hey-!”

You hoist yourself up and dust off whatever remnants of gingerbread cookies were left on you. All the concern that had been building up over time of Namjoon not being home had now diminished. Sudden relief washes over you because you hadn’t really noticed how worried sick you’ve been until he’d stepped into the house. Namjoon can be really impulsive sometimes. 

“Joon,” He wraps his arms around your smaller figure and places a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Where have you been? Had me really worried for a second there.”

There’s this cheeky look in his face that makes you swoon. He’s so lovely, in all his ways, you just can’t help but be filled with so much love. You love him. 

“I kind of… I kind of forgot to pick your present up. Sorry - Didn’t want to worry you, just a clumsy move.” 

He’s all you’ve ever imagined. 

“Get over here you two - we’re ordering take-out!” Your little moment is easily interrupted by the guys hollering you over, to which you oblige because you wouldn’t want to waste another second. You could hear Namjoon’s stomach grumbling a bit. “Have I been out for that long?” He queries, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. “Dummy, it’s six in the afternoon. It’s already dark.” 

“Well, I’m finally back home now, right where I need to be.” 

You don’t notice it, but there’s a little mistletoe just above your heads. And Namjoon knows this because he points up towards it with mirth laced in his pretty eyes and a pretty smile. “Merry Christmas,” he tells you before he leans in and gives you what you rightfully deserve.

[trashcatsnark]

Questions For An Author

Tagged by the always lovely @shallow-gravy

Tagging: @enchantedbythebidders @tender-wounds @rosyibby

Name: Mariah

Top 5 Fandoms Written: Far Cry 5, Kissed By The Baddest Bidder, Cyberpunk 2077, Boyfriend To Death, uhhhh Mystic Messenger? That feels like a cheat.

Top 5 Fandoms You Want To Write For/More: Mystic Messenger, I really loved that otome, and wrote for it but never finished anyting for some reason. Fallout 4, I fell in love with Danse but struggled to fall in love with the lore (i hate the 50’s aesthetic shit ngl, but thats just me) so nothing ever took off. Supernatural, ironically most popular fic on AO3 is for Supernatural but I never sunk my teeth into writing for it like I thought I would. Boyfriend to Death, I actually have like lots of my one shots and some series ideas for BtD, but never really have found the time or energy to write them. Stardew Valley is a big one too, I adore Shane, but for some reason that fic has yet to catch it’s vibe.

Stories You Wish More People Knew About: Granted, Can You Feel The Sun? My cyberpunk 2077 fic is still very much in it’s infancy, so it’s understandable but I still sometimes am like wahhh i wish it was doing better. But, I know its just a time thing, i mean, it took about a year for This Is Love to do as well as it is rn.

Ship(s) Written The Most: Dahlia x Polyseed, Tsuneko x hinted with all bidders, Aidan x Johnny. Im an oc simp, what do you want from me.

Character(s) Written The Most: Dahlia at this point. As far as canon characters, maybe Pratt since he’s her shit head sidekick.

How Many OCs Do You Have: An amount. Dahlia for FC5, Tsuneko for KBTBB, Aidan or CP2077, Regan for SPN, Scout for FO4, Haejin for Mystic Messenger, Jude for SDV. Unnamed ocs for BtD and Monster Prom. And if you go far enough back i had like a billion shitty ocs for OHSHC, Fruits Basket, Naruto, YYH, One Piece, Digimon, Pokemon, etc etc.

How Many Series Do You Have: Publicly; I have 3. This Is Love (FC5), Black Market Wonderland (KBTBB), and Can You Feel The Sun? (CP2077). Though, unfinished, I did have Blossoming which was gonna be my Mystic Messenger fic and Mad To Live which was gonna be my supernatural fic. And I never named them but I was gonna do one for SDV and FO4, maybe someday, or not at all.

What Do You Do With Fics You’re No Longer Interested In?: I don’t really like to like abandon fics, but like it is a struggle especially when I lose interest in the fandom it’s for. Black Market Wonderland has been on a very long hiatus, but I definitely do wanna come back to it whenever my love for KBTBB is back and Im less frustrated with Voltage as well as some shit that went down in the fandom. I know drama and personal shit shoudn’t impact feelings on a game, but its hard for it not to for me.And what happened in voltage stuff was like, the most personal I’ve ever been involved in stuff so, its hard. But i still love the characters, so hopefully I’ll rekindle that flame. So, i guess I just wait and pray for my energy to return.

Coming Soon: The next update I do, that I have planned for next month is chapter 11 for This Is Love.

Line From A WIP: From Can You Feel The Sun? Chapter 2. (accidentally wrote can you feel the love, smashing fic titles together omg) Also, spoilers for Jackie's backstory in Cyberpunk 2077, so skip over if you don't want.

“I meant what I said before, Night City ain’t the kind of place to let you get by without family, but…” He trails off and chews his lip as he considers his next words. Then they seem to die in his throat.

“But…?” She prompts, trying to encourage him to finish his thought. Jackie then grabs a belt from his nightstand table, stretching worn leather over his fingers.

“Do you know what this is?”

It’s clear it has some significant value to him, but she has no way of knowing what, to her it’s just a belt. So, she merely shakes her head no, deciding not to be a smartass and allow him the chance to get the weight off his chest.

“This belt belonged to my dad, if you can call him that, Raul Welles. He, uh, use it to beat on us.. Go to school overed in welts, have to watch like a coward when he’d go after my ma.”

“You weren’t a coward,” V signs and gets up from her chair, sitting next to him, touching his shoulders, “you were a child.”

“Yeah…well, one day I ripped the belt right out of his hand and showed him what it felt like, turns out he couldn’t take his own medicine. Haven’t seen him since, but keep it on hand, just in case.”

V squeezes his shoulder, not sure what to say or do, how to comfort someone after that. The pains of a shitty dad is one she knows all too well, even when her own wasn’t trying to kill her, he was fixated on making her and her sister strong; training them. She knows all too well that you can’t take away the memories or the pain, but she hopes, being here can be enough. That the comfort of touch can act as a temporary salve for the heart, even if it’s all she can offer.

“Look, chica,” he takes a deep breath, “I don’t know your story, when and if you tell it is up to you. But, my point is. You need a family to get along in Night City, but family don’t end or start with blood. My old man will never be family to me. But, I got…people… who don’t share a drop of blood of with me and I’d take a bullet for ‘em”

“I think…I get what you mean, family you choose is what matters most.”

She agrees, but choosing her family is it’s own beast. Letting people in, breaking down walls, finding a family that chooses her as much as she chooses them. It’s all a terrifying prospect, being alone is easier, more convenient, less effort… Though it has a cost too, of course.

“So, make a choice.”

“What?”

“Work with me, V.”

Do You Accept Prompts?: I accept questions and ideas; I’m always open to talking about my oc’s and their bullsit. But as far as prompts go, if I'm in a mood which is rare and don’t really take requests. I just personally have always found that if I accept requests or prompts; writing because a duty/obligation and not a hobby which drains a lot of the fun for me.

How Do You Feel About Kudos?: They’re nice and I really appreciate them. Comments and bookmarks will make me the happiest!~ That being said I’m really bad about doing that myself so I get it.

Do You Read Fic As Well?: Not that much actually, I’m very particular with what I read regularly and even then, maybe once a week I go on a reading binge. I love fanfic, greatly, but I’m someone who’s like I need to write

[xianglingslesbian]

oh I'll give u a character alright: Izuki, Kiyoshi, Riko and Aomine <333 technically that's four, but what goes around comes around (I'll keep this circle of love goin forever buddy)

VICCCC ily my man <33 thank u!!! aight putting this under a cut bc it got long

Izuki

Why I like them: izuki’s just overall so amazing! he inspires me to give my best in the stuff i do, and although it sounds a bit silly i try to be a person that he’d be proud of. his puns are hilarious and well-thought-out (as a person who loves words and word jokes, i’m naturally drawn to him lol). they’re also a way to take the heat off the team, he’s so hardworking and never views obstacles as obstacles, rather as hills he must climb to find newer skies. he’s also rather clever and employs his brains to great effect when his body fails him! izuki embodies the meaning of ‘eagle’ in the truest sense - waiting to strike when the time is right and not failing when it is.

Why I don’t: *sweats* can’t really think of a reason i don’t like izuki, at all??? i guess he can overwork himself a lot and tends to keep his true emotions hidden which could lead to misunderstandings between friends (although this is totally headcanon territory lol)... i also didn’t like the ableist comment he passed on hayama (“i’m just glad you weren’t smarter than me”). but i think he can (and will!) grow from that kind of stuff, he is that kind of person so yeah no particular reason for me to dislike him at all

Favorite episode (scene if movie): how dare you make me pick s3 e8 izuki vs kasamatsu, hands down. i know its like cliche or whatever but that moment just told me so much about izuki as a character? he’s willing to do what it takes to win, he’s adaptable and dependable and he doesn’t let shit get him down ever. it’s gorgeous

Favorite season/movie: s3, he got some fantastic moments in there!! although i will say i loved the spotlighting he got in s1 in the seihō match

Favorite line: “Fear isn't a bad thing. There are some things that can only be done by cowards.” this is first of all such a nice thing to say. ‘fear is not bad’ is just... so fucking wise? keep in mind that this boy is 17, i’ve met 30 year olds who are less mature. secondly it feels like izu’s speaking from experience?? like he has a lot to be scared of, i’m sure. particularly of falling behind and being a burden to his teammates. but it’s that ‘cowardice’ that drives him to practice so so hard. that visceral terror of weighing on seirin is what pushes izuki beyond his limits - which is why here he can empathise with furi’s fear, and knows how best to employ it.

Favorite outfit: look i hate last game w/ a passion but that lil tie/shirt/hoodie thing he had going? that was literally so cute. izuki in general has a p great fashion sense but his last game outfit takes the cake <3

OTP: hyuuizu oh my god i could talk for years about them but since this post is gonna be very long i’ll refrain. just. they are perfect they are fucking perfect

Brotp: kiyoizu!! kiyoshi is izuki’s biggest enabler and i love that for him <3

Head Canon: izuki can be very very passive aggressive when he’s angry at someone/sad and gets cold and withdrawn. it’s not fun to experience but tbh if you upset him you probably deserve it

Unpopular opinion: izuki should’ve been naturally better in canon. it’s not fair to shaft him and give the ‘trier’ thing off to himuro. that being said i am p happy with who he is as a person

A wish: i want to know how izuki felt after middle school! izuki’s and riko’s backstory focuses so much on hyuuga its dumb >:( he also would’ve been demoralised but he didn’t quit bball and i would like to know his thought process!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: i. uh. i guess izu quitting basketball. because i genuinely cannot see that happening. it brings him so much joy, he should never stop cold turkey. i can imagine old man izuki hobbling about a court giving little kids pointers and making them laugh T-T

5 words to best describe them: “big brain caffeine-powered clown baby” 

My nickname for them: babyzuki/izu/shunshun

Kiyoshi

Why I like them: lots of reasons! kiyoshi is an admirable person. he’s strong, yet friendly and gentle, and he loves his team above all else, which i just find beautiful. i find his manipulative side also pretty cool, bc it shows off how multifaceted he is.

Why I don’t: this is more of a fandom reason but i really dislike how kiyoshi is always said to have had the greatest impact in hyuuga’s story. he badgered and manipulated hyuuga, and while some may argue hyuuga needed that push, it only worked bc hyuuga had had time to think about shit. he’d also been given space by riko and izuki (two integral parts of his life whom the fandom looooves to sideline for uwu kiyo//hyuu). 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): yousen match (can’t pick the episodes)! i loved the backstory we got for kiyo vs mura and i loved how kiyoshi was willing to smile and play but also refused to lose. he truly stole the show despite kagami being the one to finally take down murasakibara, it was gorgeous <3

Favorite season/movie: s2 for sure. kiyoshi wasn’t allowed to shine much after yousen imo - all the focus was on hyuuga kagami and kuroko, and to a lesser extent izuki. not complaining, but yeah

Favorite line: “Let’s go have some fun.” i know it’s kinda cliche but i do love how kiyoshi’s always thinking about playing a good game and enjoying basketball. he wants to play because he loves it and as someone who loves a sport as much as kiyoshi loves b-ball, that love is so poignant and tender

Favorite outfit: practice clothes! kiyoshi looks great in pink <3

OTP: kiyohana. hateshipping amirite ;)

Brotp: kiyohyuu! i love them as friends so so much <3

Head Canon: kiyoshi is half-iranian on his mother’s side and is muslim. i won’t say too much because i am not muslim myself, i need to do more research into this but i’ve had this headcanon for quite a while now!

Unpopular opinion: he should be bullied more for the fact that his canon power is having yaoi hands

A wish: kiyo finds something he loves as much as b-ball. he can’t canonically play at this level again, so if he found another sport/competition/anything, it’d be amazing

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: he should never become demoralised. kiyoshi at heart is a dreamer, so let him dream, let him look towards tomorrow with a smile always

5 words to best describe them: “useless dreamy dumbass cheerleader clown”

My nickname for them: kiyoyo, bc my feelings about him have yo-yoed a lot lmao

Riko

Why I like them: im a lesbian, next. /j i love her because she’s so tenacious and driven. yet she’s also kind and gentle, and never loses her humanity. she cares, and she cares hard. she’s so fucking smart too like... coaching a hs basketball team at 17 against players of NBA calibre and making them win? i could never. seirin without riko is nothing.

Why I don’t: i dont like the constant slapstick of her beating up her boys. also, i dislike how the narrative forces her to act ‘feminine’ and then has the boys think of it as nothing. like first of all if someone like her offered me a kiss i would so take 100, and secondly... why is a girl’s worth so tied to her femininity? it’s awful

Favorite episode (scene if movie): her sending in furi vs kaijō, early in s3. it was an exceedingly smart move that could have only come from her knowing her players’ strengths and weaknesses intimately, and being a brilliant coach. just amazing <3

Favorite season/movie: all of them! riko has some amazing moments each season, so i can’t really pick

Favorite line: “Humans grow. Don't act like you understand when you don't even realize that!” here, riko knows and knows well that she is in her element. momoi might have the data, but riko understands adaptability and knows how to predict stuff. in that way, one can draw parallels between takao vs izuki and momoi vs riko: takao and momoi are recon experts, whereas riko and izuki are strategists. momoi uses raw data; riko manipulates the data to her advantage

Favorite outfit: idk if this is exactly an outfit but her glasses are so cute oh my gosh. (i’d kill to see her in a leather jacket tho)

OTP: rikomomo!!! i’m 100% sure that momoi’s fixation w/riko’s boobs is just... repressed lesbian sentiments. also sports girlfriends gimme

Brotp: hyuuizuriko. i hc that hyuuizu were tgt since elementary school and riko joined them in middle school so... childhood friends feels!

Head Canon: riko knows how to shoot a gun. her father owns one so it makes sense

Unpopular opinion: riko does not need to have bigger boobs in fanart. please stop sexualising a 17 year old girl

A wish: white suit riko please

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: her ever leaving behind sports in any way shape or form. it’s her thing. in the same vein, she should never have to change herself or become more traditionally feminine to be ‘appealing’

5 words to best describe them: perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect

My nickname for them: ai/riri

Aomine

Why I like them: aomine is just a pure, hurting young man that deserves help. he’s passionate, and his fire died down out of no fault of his own. that fire’s reignition through kagami is one of my favorite scenes <3

Why I don’t: he’s perverted as hell and i dislike that. it plays into the ‘brutish dark-skinned pervert’ stereotype which is yikes. also i thought we were done with pervs in anime

Favorite episode (scene if movie): s2 seirin v touou when kagami enters the zone!! aomine’s finally happy and it’s so amazing to watch <3

Favorite season/movie: s2, he finally got happiness and peace of mind

Favorite line: “You’re the best!” there’s just so much of pure joy in this line. he’s so so beside himself that he finally has someone he won’t destroy. kagami sees aomine the person, and that person is so happy, it’s beautiful

Favorite outfit: the leather jacket from the finale lmaooo he looked so cute

OTP: AOKAGA BABY i could write an essay tbh

Brotp: aomomo!! theyre such good friends and bi/lesbian solidarity too!

Head Canon: aomine cannot dance. he has stepped on kagami’s feet multiple times. he has also attempted to twerk when drunk. kuroko recorded the whole thing and uses it as blackmail in case the puppy eyes and “but aomine-kun you didn’t fist bump me back” don’t work

Unpopular opinion: more a fandom thing, but you all need to stop making aomine the aggressive/possessive top/‘seme’. it’s racist as fuck

A wish: aomine goes pro. it’ll be amazing for him, a huge challenge and kagami will be there too so its a win-win ;)

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: he quits again/b-ball loses its allure. aomine at heart is someone who needs passion to drive him so i just want that passion to always burn bright within him

5 words to best describe them: “bastard baby needs a hug”

My nickname for them: dai-chan, momoi rubbed off on me

[ajokeformur-ray]

ok so for the match up thing!! name is loren, im 20, a 5'2 tiny goth kiddo who looks always grumpy and has a dark sense of humor i guess. i study philosophy and i write for a theatre company because i don't have the guts to act!! im,,, a shy mess. never dated before although i had some casual sex but really it felt so empty that i choice not to have it anymore unless im in love honestly. i own a typewriter! and im always dancing in my room because it feels good and it helps me when im manic!

also I have BPD and I cling too much to people, like really depending by em if they’re my fave at the moment and im very jealous and have anger issues but I try my best to be nice or polite at least!! i love cats, snakes and ravens. i love cozy days when you do nothing at all except for laying under a blanket and watch the rain or little things like this! i like to cook and being Italian, i can cook very well. i have glasses but i hate how I do look with em so I don’t ever wear em.

i love arthur fleck so fucking much i literally would die for him because he needs to be spoiled and cuddled and just thinking about him makes me cry so loud- but i love the joker as well, of course, being the smug bastard he is!! and daydreaming about him helps me going through the day which it’s not always so easy because sometimes it’s just too much, you know

ohhhh I forgot I wear a shit load of make up like literally I look like Robert Smith most of the time and I don’t give a fuck about people opinions ai literally go to lessons dressed like a gothic doll most of the time

i’m also a night owl

Arthur Fleck (I know he’s angry in this GIF but fuck he’s hot)

word count: 1, 131

We don’t know Arthur’s real age, but Joaquin (the gorgeous man that he is) is 44, so let’s assume the same for Arthur for a touch of realism, shall we? That being said, this means that Arthur would be so hesitant to even talk to you because of your age. You see him staring, though, you see him following you sometimes wearing that thin yellow hoodie he seems to love, and so you decide to approach him. He’s instantly smitten.

You have a dark sense of humour and so does Arthur, so this is perfect for his ego. His comedy is a sore spot, it always has been, because no one supports this precious boi in anything he does and it’s really fucking sad. When he cracks a really dry, deadpan and dark joke and you burst out laughing, love just blooms in his chest and he falls in love with you a little more. How are you real? He’s convinced you’re a delusion he’s concocted sometimes, but he dares not question it. Anything is better than the truth. Anything.

You study philosophy, so your intellect is definitely above Arthur’s. His handwriting is really bad (in the cutest way? Imagine handwritten letters from him that are filled with smiley faces and words scribbled out like 1000000 times because he can’t spell it right until he gives up and uses a word he does know how to spell) and because of how impoverished he is, that suggests that he’s uneducated. As such, when you write an essay or an assignment or you complete some other work, he’d want to read it but he wouldn’t really understand some of the more technical stuff. He’s not at all stupid, he’s very clever, and I think sometimes he’d ask you a question late at night about the thing you’re studying just so he can go to sleep to the sound of your voice. With his weary head cushioned on your chest, your heartbeat in his ear, your voice and your hands in his hair, he’d be asleep in no time.

I feel like Arthur would really love the fact that you’re shy because that means it’s easier for him to assume the protective role? So, like, he’d find your shyness frankly adorable and if you ever got shy over him then it just becomes a circle of shyness before Arthur bursts out into uncontrollable laughter and you have to comfort him through a fit. Just squeeze his hand, patiently wait it out, and reap the rewards when he can breathe again and his lips are on yours as a thank you.

You love to dance and this… Oh, this is a quintessential part of your whole relationship. When it’s late at night and Arthur is listening to music on the radio, he’d approach you, his body already swaying to the beat, and his hands would find your hips and he’d dance with you, doing that really fucking attractive shoulder thing he does. It ends up with the two of you in the bedroom doing a different kind of dance, if you get my meaning ;) Arthur understands how simple things can help you when you’re feeling a certain way, so when you’re feeling manic it’s almost 1000% guaranteed that he’ll just start dancing with you until you’re so tired you don’t want to do anything anymore.

You have BPD and you cling to people, which would actually really reassure our boi. He would need near constant reassurance that you’re real, that you love him, that he’s not hallucinating your entire fucking existence, that you’re not going to leave etc, etc. In return for all the coddling you (gladly) give him, he would do anything for you. And I mean anything ;) he would let you cling to him in any meaning - physically, mentally, emotionally. Anything. “You’re my Loren, it’s my job to take care of you.” and he’d do it so well you’d be ruined for anyone else in your life. Ever. He’s a jealous boi and though he’d take you at your word, if someone wasn’t getting the memo he’d have to step in. 

You both adore and live for cozy days inside his apartment. He has a special blanket that he likes to curl up under with you. It smells like the two of you and when either of you are missing the other because of work, studying or whatever else, then you huddle under it until the other returns. You can cook well, which is perfect because the best Arthur can do is really cheap microwave meals. He’s worryingly thin, not only because of the seven medicines he’s on but also because he just can’t afford to eat. It’d be really hard for him to even put any weight on, but at least you keep him regularly fed.

When you told Arthur that you would actually die for him and that you love him so much it just makes you cry sometimes, he’d be astounded. He’d just sit there, blinking for a few tense seconds before his throat rips with loud, intrusive laughter which is so hard and so uncontrollable that he can taste blood in the back of his throat. You’d hold him, love him, support him and cherish him and that right there means that he’s never going to leave you. Not ever. Sex with him reflects this. He’s so gentle, so tender and so loving that it makes your heart bleed. It’s not uncommon for one or both of you to actually cry during sex because you’re just so, so in love with each other that it hurts in the sweetest, most precious way.

You know who you are and you know what you want and you don’t give a fuck what people think about you. You wear what you want when you want and that’s such a fucking mood and Arthur would be so proud of you and he’d totally offer to do your makeup for you using his own work supplies! He’d be so careful and he’d giggle against the way your nose wrinkles when he’s a bit too careful with his brush and he’d want to kiss you again and again, ruining your makeup purposefully so he can stay closer to you for just a little longer and…. oh, I’m actually gonna cry writing this wow… (spoiler: I did.)

In the grand conclusion because wow I’ve rambled: you and Arthur have the sweetest, most precious relationship. It’s full of love. There are definite challenges, there are some arguments because things just get too much for the both of you sometimes and sometimes there’s more taking than giving on either side because that’s how it can be, but you never leave each other. Never, never, never.

Joker (fun fact when this part showed in the cinema I was with my mum and i legit went “Oh, fuck me” as in I properly moaned AND SHE HEARD ME. two weeks later and she still hasn’t said anything but I know she heard me)

word count: 1, 522

Whereas Arthur struggled to even think of talking to you because of the huge age gap, Joker really isn’t all that bothered. You’re a fully consenting adult who knows her own mind, so what’s the harm, right? So long as you’re both happy and comfortable with each other, he couldn’t care less. That being said, you’re 5′2 and Joker is 5′8 so there’d be some height teasing going on. He would put things up on a higher shelf in the kitchen just so he can come up behind you and ‘accidentally’ (on purpose) press his crotch up and into your bottom as he retrieves the item you’re after with a cocky grin on his face and fire in his eyes. Sexual teasing is a very normal part of your relationship and it’s a serious warning sign that he is not okay if he doesn’t do anything like that towards you all day. 

You have a dark sense of humour and you look grumpy a lot of the time, which means that, often, Joker will practically bounce up to you and use his index fingers to make you smile. It wouldn’t take long for you to actually smile from his actions, though, and that’s exactly why he does everything that he does; because he knows you can’t resist him, the smug bastard. Oh, but you love him, and he know the depth of your love for him. He’s so very honoured by it, though his way of showing it is sometimes to murder someone who irritated you last Thursday and not ever telling you about it. He’s a strange one, but he’s so free that you find yourself not minding. Just so long as he’s happy; when Joker is down, it means that something is hugely wrong and it reminds you so badly of Arthur that it hurts and you might have to crack out some of his own jokes just to cheer him up. For example, if you handed him an actual human heart and said, “I love you, Joker”, he’d burst out into loud and genuine laughter and would end up smudging his makeup from kissing you so soundly. Isn’t he gorgeous?

Joker isn’t political, religious, or anything of the sort. He tells you and others that he doesn’t believe in anything. But there’s one thing he believes in. Just one. It’s the love you have for each other that he vehemently believes in. if anyone even dared to suggest that your love isn’t as strong as you say - she’s just scared of being killed, that’s why she’s with him, or what a freak! How can she stand to kiss him? - then he’d go fucking apeshit. The last person he overheard doubting your love for him ended up swallowing several bullets in quick succession. Overkill? Perhaps, but he doesn’t care. No one gets to doubt your love for each other, not even yourselves. He’d be very supportive of your studies and I have no doubt that, if you ever got a shaky grade, it’d be changed very quickly by a shaking tutor who can’t quite look you in the eye. The smiley face on the whiteboard which looks like a child did it clues you in hugely, though. His actions are wrong but it comes from a very heavily guarded heart of gold.

Where Arthur finds your shyness cute and he would immediately adopt Protective Mode™, Joker would just relentlessly tease you just to see how deep your blush goes. “That’s an interesting shade of red, Loren. Where have I seen it before? Ah, yes…” *Twirls and fingers the hem of his red tuxedo* Be warned, though… Only Joker gets to tease you about being shy. If anyone else dared to tease you for being shy or for stuttering or for tripping over your words and oh god shut up, he’d rip them a new one. Only he gets to tease you. He does, sometimes, wind you up on purpose, just to see how far he can push you before you snap and want to punch something. He finds it incredibly amusing. Deep down, though, he’d be just as protective as Arthur and would find himself doing things for you that you’re too shy to do; in whatever means you need! ;)

You dance because it helps you when you’re manic but also because you enjoy it. Just like with Arthur, this is absolutely essential in your relationship with Joker. A lot of the time when you’re dancing, he’d step in flawlessly and you’d start dancing together like Fred and Ginger, with him dipping you, spinning you around, lifting you up with surprising strength, and it’s one of his favourite ways (other than makeup sex) to apologise to you. “Dance with me.” Immediately would his hands grab you, spinning you, his intense green eyes never leaving yours, that damned smirk on his lips as he sees that blush rising on your face… Again, like with Arthur, you do several modes of dancing together; some are more preferable to others!

When you’re out and about together in public, you’re basically glued together. Your hands are held so tightly by the other that you’re not sure whose hands is whose and, are your fingers getting a bit numb? Both of you have jealousy and anger issues for slightly different reasons; Joker because it’s borne from a place of deeply set abuse and abandonment issues, and you have your own reasons that he may or may not know about. He finds it baffling that you get jealous over him, though. So many of Arthur’s neuroses still live on in Joker, despite his bravado. You try to be polite, but Joker makes no such efforts; he will destroy someone for even glancing at you in the street. 

You both live for cosy days. These are the days during which Joker will relax his persona. He will cuddle with you, watching shows on TV, his fingers grazing along the underside of your breasts or even dipping under your underwear. You can arch your hips into his touch all you want, he’s not gonna give you what you want unless you’re patient. He loves foreplay more than the act itself; to him, anticipation heightens everything deliciously. You cook very well, and Joker would love to watch you cook. He enjoys the heat you summon into the bedroom, and he loves bending you over the counter, sweeping the dirty plates into the sink with a noisy crash (and you have to buy new plates at least once a week), and fucking you until you’re only upright  because of his arm wound tightly around your waist.

You once told Joker that you often think of him when you’re not with him, just because he offers you comfort and support from wherever he is. Just knowing he’s somewhere in Gotham wreaking havoc or even waiting for you to get home makes you feel like you can conquer the fucking world, and he was flattered. He did get a little upset, though, when you confessed that you would actually die for him if you had to. He kills for you, and sometimes because of you without a thought, but turning that idea around onto you makes him feel hot in all the wrong ways. I actually think Joker would crawl into your arms that night, needing to feel that you were there, and real, and even now he’s wondering how you could possibly love him knowing all that he has done and will continue to do. He would make you promise to never keep your word on this topic, because no one is gonna be dying in this relationship. You and him are forever a ride or die. For better or for worse.

You stand together at the bathroom sink putting your faces on. Your shoulders are touching, which means sometimes your elbows bump into each other and one of you makes a mistake with the makeup. “Oh, would you look at that? My makeup’s ruined,” Joker would hum, “what are you going to do about it, darling?” There’s only one answer to this, and it’s the two of you kissing each other so passionately that you have to wash your faces off and start again. Who knows, maybe you don’t get to leave the bathroom that day. Makeup is one of the biggest expenditures in your small household, even with Joker knowing where to go to get the good stuff.

In conclusion: dating Joker would be so very different to dating Arthur, but there is love, compassion, trust, adoration, so much sex you’re surprised you can still walk most mornings (he can and will go multiple rounds with you in a day; he’s a horny fucker, is our Joker), and there are definitely more emotional challenges than there are any other, but you’ve learned to stick it out with him over the years, You’d never leave him for any reason, even if he murdered everyone in Gotham (and a lot of the time he’s sorely tempted to burn the city to the ground and start all over again).

[lesbiandonnanoble]

Character meme! Rose Tyler, Narvin, and Leela :)

this is gonna be so long so i’m gonna put it below the cut but also keep in mind i do not know a lot about narvin because i’ve only listened to 5 episodes of gallifrey kshjdf

rose

What I like about them- i love that she’s lower class i’m not going to beat around the bush. as someone who worked 2-3 minimum wage jobs all through high school to help my family the story of her being in that same situation working a shitty retail job living w her mom REALLY resonated and then her still being able to go on all those amazing adventures and never losing any of herself??? i love that so much

What I dislike about them- she treated mickey like shit and i hate that

Favourite moment- in the impossible planet when 10 is about to go down the elevator and they have literally the most tender interaction known to man and she has that “it’s hard” about the future of space travel which is so good because sci fi almost never acknowledges that it would all be literally so difficult.. and then the forehead kiss on the helmet and “not if i see you first” its just !!!! aaaaa

Least favourite moment- i really didn’t like when she was getting jealous of sarah jane before they made friends :( as someone who loves sarah jane that made me sad

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more- everything that’s going on in pete’s world!! her brother, her mom being w a parallel universe version of her dad, etc. she’s living in a whole parallel universe!! they could have had her comment on the differences/how it’s like w a different family dynamic etc 

An interesting AU for this character- werewolf au.. just saying... we talk about this in the discord sometimes but au where she got bit during tooth and claw and it wasn’t like really bad or a big deal or anything she’s just werewolf

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)- her and 9 :’)

Other ships?- HER AND MARTHA HER AND MARTHA HER AND MARTHA

BROTP- her and mickey !! they’re best friends end of discussion and i wish they had been written better. also her and sj... once they make up

NOTP- her and tentoo :/ like im sorry but the way 10 just dropped him off with her and expected that to be okay and to replace him for her and the fact that they all conveniently forgot that tentoo is half donna?? like he’s not ten and to expect him to be like ten for her is uhm. i do not like it

A headcanon- that she’s sorta like a mom to tony and she takes him around and does little adventures with him and reads to him and all that :’)

narvin

What I like about them- i love that he’s a little bit rude !! i love that in a person. i love that he’s in a bad mood often. i also love that he is always .2 seconds away from a panic attack because i think he’s very relatable

What I dislike about them- mean to leela :( but apparently that changes later on... 

Favourite moment- i really liked the andred reveal not gonna lie and his reaction to that was uhm. SORTA great and sorta great voice acting as well as in terms of story/character. like that was. much to think about. and then he got SHOT which. i do like whump

Least favourite moment- whenever he calls leela mean names. :( also he’s sorta a cop 

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more- again i really don’t know a lot about him yet and i’m sure in like a year when i’ve listened to all of gallifrey i’ll have a WAY better answer to this question but as of now i think since the guy andred was pretending to be was like his only friend and then he found out that he was actually lying to him the whole time to get to see more of his reaction to that would have been good

An interesting AU for this character- ROLESWAP AU W HIM AND LEELA ROLESWAP AU W HIM AND LEELA ... HE’S the doctor’s companion(still a gallifreyan, just left home for a little while to travel and then came back) who’s trying to readjust to life on gallifrey AND trying to protect romana but the new cia coordinator(started out as an ambassador from another planet but now they let her stay??? and they’re just?? letting her into the government as a high ranking official even though she’s an alien??? outrageous) won’t get off his ass

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)- i truly do not know enough about him yet to really really answer this but i do think he’s sorta in love with romana AND leela AND brax a little bit

BROTP- i mean it WAS him and the guy andred was pretending to be.. before :(

NOTP- i really don’t know enough yet !! i dont :(

A headcanon- i just like the concept that even though he and brax don’t trust each other politically they DO get together sometimes to just be bastards about things and complain

leela

What I like about them- she literally just has such fuck off energy. she is blunt. she doesn’t know what the hell is going on. she has prophetic visions. she can and WILL go feral at any time. she’s literally the most off the shits possible character and i LOVE her.

What I dislike about them- in the show at least they didn’t do a lot with her development and after a while her character felt sorta flat :(

Favourite moment- im blanking on tv moments but i really like in zagreus where she’s just there being in love with romana, going apeshit trying to attack people, and eating dreamscape food and i LOVE that for her

Least favourite moment- when she left the doctor to be with andred. bleuugh. 

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more- definitely more about her family/planet/childhood!! i want to learn about the culture.. about what influenced her character.. parts of her tradition she kept and parts she left behind..

An interesting AU for this character- i do sorta have this one where its human au in the 80s and romana is running for office and she and leela are in love and have to like sorta sneak around and navigate the press and also leela is a trucker 

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)- her and romana of course... 

Other ships?- i mean. all four of them do sort of be in love in gallifrey dont they...

BROTP- her and 4 were pretty good... her and her k9 skjdhf

NOTP- her and andred. blech. disgosteng...

A headcanon- i just. h. in the above mentioned au she takes romana on overnight rides sometimes and they just drive for like 100 miles w the radio on really soft being in love.. 

[lesbiansforboromir]

im sorry but im a shameless aragorn/denethor shipper. do you have any thoughts about how shit would have played out if both denethor and boromir had lived in a universe with past denethor/aragorn? would the old flame rekindle despite the animosity that aragorn claiming the throne would cause? would boromir ever find out that his father had a fling with aragorn, and how would he react if he did find out?

Migraines give me the time to finally sit down and reply to all my inbox but they don’t give me the skill so bare with me but FUCK I’m glad to know there are more Denethor/Aragorn shippers. ANyway, getting to it-

I’m iffy on how much of a relationship Denethor and Thorongil had all those years ago. Denethor’s married to Finduilas early on in that whole timeline, there isn’t much space for anything but a VERY hot and heavy and quick affair. But that definitely does suit them I suppose. 

I think I might go for a sort of… they’ve been dancing around each other for a few years and perhaps there’s a very sudden and surprising moment where Aragorn kisses Denethor- man perhaps… just before that last siege on Umbar. They’re both miles and miles from home… this whole intense thing between them is much starker after spending all this close knit and dramatic time together, and Thorongil knows he’s going to be leaving after this, essentially abandoning Denethor. 

It all gets too heavy, there’s an illicit kiss in the Captain’s quarters of Denethor’s ship, it lasts too long, they both come out of it knowing for a fact that the other feels the same way. Aragorn’s purpose is achieved, Denethor knows he loves him, and Aragorn knows he’s loved in return. But Denethor is married and this is not something he can do- it’s not even something he can explore! Think about! Despite how important Aragorn has become in his life, how oddly vital his company is, how strangely he’s stepped into this role of a confidante that understands him in a very specific way- Finduilas is also all those things, and she deserves so much better from him. They part ways, it’s more of a goodbye than anything that happens later.

Which makes a meeting between them after the siege at Minas Tirith all the more intense. In this kind of timeline it works best if Boromir was just saved at Parth Galen and followed the three hunters (meaning Denethor never even thinks Boromir’s dead), so you can also add in a juicy little nugget of ‘Aragorn actually did get there in time to save Boromir and took a few arrows for him to boot because it’s Denethor’s son of course he will! He has too!’ So now you have a great deal of emotions to get your teeth into. 

Denethor’s suspicious of Aragorn first, but that gets conflicted with tales his son tells of Aragorn saving his life later. And then Aragorn goes and saves Faramir too, it makes it difficult. Aragorn hasn’t changed at all, he even looks like Denethor remembers him. Which adds another knot of discolour to this picture, Denethor does not, Denethor looks ragged, rough edged, powerful but battered and old, despite only being 2 years older than Aragorn. I think there’s a little guilt to it for Aragorn, Denethor’s given up so much of himself just in the defense of Gondor, a kind of sacrifice that Aragorn hasn’t known. Aragorn hadn’t overestimated him precisely, but he’d underestimated how much of a toll it would all take. Perhaps… he should have been here, could he have? Could he have helped? Somehow? He’s not used to doubting himself overmuch, but this… 

So they start off with confusion that Denethor decides to deal with by not dealing with it. First they have to make plans for the battle at the Black Gate, which Denethor comes to by the way, ‘At the end of the world, I care little for the will of Kings’ he says. Looking Aragorn in the eye. As he shucks his robes of state and reveals the chain mail he still wears every day. And then there’s a beat where they fight and lead and battle together. Again. It’s like he never left, which is infuriating and uplifting and heartbreaking for the both of them. All this lost time. Yet they still know each other this well. Dreadful!

But it all feeds into that slow break down of barriers for them to finally start talking to each other. They have to discuss the whole kingship thing next, which is just so much time spent together and they’re arguing so much, it’s almost WORRYING, they sound like they’d get to fists at any moment but it never gets there. And Imrahil is never worried, ‘no they were always like that, it’s just how they communicate’ and he’s right, there’s more being said in these fights about policy than either of them want to admit. 

So… yes I do think eventually there’s some… ‘emoting’, as much as Denethor hates it. There’s some… hurt. There’s some tenderness. There’s a little hurdling over the inherent heteronormativity. There’s even some… ‘you were missed’ (I missed you) OH it’s so slow. OH it takes so long, way into Aragorn’s kingship and their partnership as King and Steward. Long enough for Arwen to go from curious to confused to shocked to confused again to bored to frustrated and then she falls for Denethor as well to boot. But in the end it settles out, and Denethor eventually decides he’s old enough to allow the wound to his pride of being a ‘secret lover’. Though he’d never admit it. 

As for Boromir’s reaction. Hm. I think it would be a shock for Denethor to realise how insightful Boromir is about him. He’ll be trying to hide the relationship, it’s his very personal life, no one needs to know and he doesn’t want them too. Not to mention he has no idea how Boromir would react. Despite the somewhat tolerant period they’re experiencing, it’s not easy, even he struggled with it. Even he’d had prejudices to reject. 

But Boromir, who developed his ability to read his father as almost a survival mechanism, can tell something has changed in his life and in his relationship with the king and queen. He wouldn’t pry, but it would be on his mind, it would confuse him, and Denethor would be aware of that. And I do think probably… he would come to realise that the extent of Boromir’s loyalty to him and all the things he carried for him, this very strange relationship they fell into where the war effort was their priority to the exclusion of all else- There’s a realisation that they both know each other too much and yet not at all. Boromir knows exactly what Denethor would advise, how to support him, how to win his wars, but they don’t know how to talk about the things that matter to each other. Denethor has no idea about either of his son’s passions, Boromir least of all since Faramir does tend to be loud about what he feels. It’s wrong. And he wants to resolve it. 

So I think in the end he does actually just… tell him. Submit to this mortifying ordeal in order to try and signal that he wants things to change between them. He’s aware it’s a risk, but if he wants Boromir to be open about the risky things, then this is what he has to do. 

And oh BOY what a doozey of a conversation for the both of them huh? It’s made an addendum to the end of one of their debriefs, a situation they’re both very comfortable in, even if it means Boromir’s standing before Denethor’s desk in his study when he speaks. Denethor just gets it out in his clear and decisive way that doesn’t brook interruption, but Boromir is in no position to do that anyway. And despite Denethor’s apparent confidence, he begins to worry with how long Boromir has to just stand there, hands clasped behind his back, expression neutral as usual, but obviously struggling with something if his prolonged silence and micro expressions are anything to go by. 

In the end Denethor has to just ask if Boromir has some issue with this. Which breaks through his knotted thicket at least, and he answers no, honestly, and yet there’s something… else… Denethor can feel behind it all. Boromir’s ability to simply withstand and rebuff Denethor’s prying has only gotten better with age but there’s still something. Boromir seems somewhat lost, things he wants to say but obviously doesn’t know how to say them to his father specifically. He wants to… comfort him, help him somehow, but there’s something else too. Which again clearly pushes home the realisation that they lost touch somewhere, they stopped knowing each other. Boromir is struggling with something and Denethor couldn’t even begin to tell you what it is. Although later, as he’s considering it, some logical answers come to mind, answers that could change a lot of how he views his son, things that are hard to see him as. 

Boromir’s going through the same thing but at a different angle. He’s only surprised at Denethor’s reclamation of a romantic life, and that surprise turns to a strange kind of gladness quickly. He never imagined Denethor would ever be able to live this way again and it does change his view of Aragorn rather dramatically, but he can reconcile to all that especially if his father is actually… happy. 

What’s more difficult is reconciling the father’s he’s known all these years, who’s said this and decided that, with this man he’s presented with now, in a relationship with a man, a relationship he told him about too. Quite apart from Gondor’s strict cultural disapproval of digging into people’s private romantic life, the concept of telling his father of his own relationships had never even come to mind. Boromir’d assumed he’d be dead before this would ever be in question. 

BUT after a long protracted period of time where everything appears the same but there’s some frisson to Boromir and Denethor’s conversations that literally drives Faramir up the goDDAMN wall. He knows it’s there, he can’t explain it, he has no idea what it could be and he HATES it so much. 

After that, Boromir does tell his dad. Surprisingly he chooses a not-professional setting, they’re just talking in Boromir’s quarters after a rare family dinner together. But woof it has to be eeked out of him still. He starts them off with just the clear acknowledgement that he’s been strange since Denethor’s revelation. And then tries to word ‘it was a shock to know we had this in common, that you were like me, though perhaps not entirely’ in as infuriatingly neutral a way as possible. But he still doesn’t look at Denethor as he says it. And the silence then isn’t so long, just a pause for a ‘ah, so I was right’ kind of sigh from Denethor. A little longer for him to let the big perspective shift start in his head. He starts running the numbers- how long had Boromir kept this secret, what was his life like because of it, what else did Denethor not know? Denethor’s mind is an analysis machine, he can’t help it.

And when he takes his shoulder and Boromir looks at him in just a little surprise at the affectionate gesture, he notices the slight tug down of Boromir’s ear lobes, where he’d used to wear the stately earrings common among young unattached noble men of wealth, but that Boromir had forsaken. Long ago, Denethor realises, when he thinks back. And he wears the more austere tunics and sashes and regalia that are usually reserved for older men, no, married men. Denethor and Gondor as a whole had assumed the slow change in style had been another mark of Boromir’s dedication to Gondor’s defense above all else, but it happened long after he’d made that commitment. Suddenly it all has a thoroughly different and more poignant meaning. Suddenly Boromir is standing there, a man with a life and a past and a family that Denethor had never even considered before. Suddenly there’s a stranger before him. 

And that… is painful… it’s a painful moment, an angry moment too, Sauron’s long dead but Denethor is still finding the corpses of things that creature took from him. But then Boromir returns the touch, his wide hand gripping Denethor’s shoulder in return, quiet but meaningful and holding his gaze with some quiet kind of understanding. Yes, the war took a great deal from all of them, but they have time now, and most importantly, they are both willing to build this relationship back up again. 

[chococustard]

Hi.. just out of curiosity, do you have favorite fanfic or fic rec for bnha?

first time putting this together my chrome closed and killed all of it=‘D

they’re mostly one shots since on going ones, cause of my shitty memory i can’t remember most of them otl

they’re under the cut and separated into categories//shot sorry i can’t word well;;; enjoy//shot

—- GENERAL (mostly)/ OTHERS —–

you’re a good man midoriya hizashi - deku’s dad is a lawyer and a nerd

no happy endings, just beginnings - eri getting used to civilian live and it’s the cutest fucking thing

nya means i love you in cat - IICHAKO DATE IICHAKO DATE IICHAKO DATE

sleepless - todo sleeps everywhere. that’s it

see me and you’ll know you’re sleeping - baku and todo talks at 3 am

iida tenya is best mom - that’s also it

send endeavor to the shadow realm - a whole series of roasting flaming cheeto man. also deku’s a fucking savage god bless

perfect timing  -  present mic and aizawa visits tensei at the hospital ft fuyusei. part of the author’s 12 days of christmas set, all of it is cute

a riddle to guess if you can - all might has a few words for the new number one hero

heroes’ day off - domestic shit ft tododeku, kiribaku, momojirou and tsuocha

bakugou is human - ft kiribaku

fallen heroes - villain!class 1A and others

looking glass - kidnapped and forced to join the villains as a child, deku got caught by the heroes during the usj attack, and joins their side instead

little, and broken, but still good - momo protection squad

pressure points - todoroki shoto finally became a child at 15

—- TODODEKU —-

lazy day - soft

(all I knew this morning when I woke is) green eyes and freckles and your smile - sleepy. kisses.

count your blessings, not your flaws - deku’s used to getting asked out by people as a joke. the one time it’s not, he laughed

sickeningly sweet - omegaverse au where todo is possesive and deku’s a little shit and i love him?? also  like, no relation, here ojiro’s the dominant alpha of the class and he’s just. so done. i love it

heroes, love and soulmates - what you write on your skin appear on your soulmate’s, also. soft. so soft.

conventional taste - deku won an essay contest and took todo to hero con. as cute as the tododeku stuff was i also like it just as a general fic, like, the con stuff in there i just can’t help but “i feel u”//shot and the uh, the other parts also hits to the heart

cold hands, warm heart - todo likes deku’s hands

reunion - apparently middle school reunions are a thing ft baku being not shit

sweater weather - this. just. this whole thing. i have diabetes from this

get me waken up, shaken up, tangled up - omegaverse au where todo and deku just date and it’s cute

bonded - omegaverse au drame™ also like the only omegaverse fic with all my ship as far as i know thank u op

your biggest fan - ….they buy each other’s merch- im dying, deceased

the five times shouto found his hand in izuku’s hair and the one time it happened in front of bakugou - deku’s hair floof appreciation fic

I’m yours if you’ll have me - omegaverse au where deku tries to get todo to just get a fucking clue ft bakushima 

i’ve tried every hobby, and you’re all that’s left - everyone got todo to try and find a hobby

all your little things - deku wants todo to love himself

Marry The Mole - flaming cheeto man tried to bribe his son’s bf to break up with him

petal steps - hades/persephone au

—- KIRIBAKU —- 

a whole series where kiri and baku are THAT couple

a many splendored things - anniversary fluff

anniversary - ^another one

little words - soulmate au where you’re born with the first words your soulmate directs at you

free at last - omegaverse au where kiri’s parents are assholes

angel’s kiss - FRECKLE. KISSES.

beating in time - vampire!au where some hunter thought baku’s a vampire, while it’s actually kiri, tho baku doesn’t know that either

teach me how to surf and other stuff - surfer au whee as a pro baku pretends to suck so he can get close to the cute surfing teacher

flowers speak louder than words - baku has hanahaki

crystal tears - kiri cries crystals, and he and baku learns how to do relationship

all the make up that MAC can make - kiri tries make up

nothing ever goes wrong at the mall - baku and kiri meets baku’s old middle school classmates

13 things best bros do together (+1 thing they don’t) - oblivious idiot

Next to You - sOFT

Pining and Pinning - quirkless au where guitarist baku has it bad

A Consequence of Constant Explosions - deaf baku and supportive bf kiri

white walls - kiri’s injured, baku’s worried

hold my hand until I feel whole again - kiribaku ft post raid ptsd

tuesday i was through with hoping - ^another one

after the fact - ^^again, another one

sunshine flutters - ^^^^another fucking one but it’s from baku’s perspective

something like an earthquake - another post raid hospital fic

tender loving care - another one this time ft momo

hoodies - omegaverse where baku gets possessive 

a boy & his dragon - fantasy au where kiri and baku date

Soft - omegaverse au where kiri tells baku they’re gonna have a kid

—- BAKU AND DEKU FRIENDSHIP FOCUS —-

baby steps - bakugou’s journey to be a decent human being ft. eri kiri and momo

romantic displays of a barbarian - baku openly showing his love for his wonderful bf

make a spark, break the dark - fantasy!baku went to the canon verse

there’s a space here shaped like you - ^another one

to win back your heart which was mine - ^another one but fantasy!kiri is fucking dead

bakugou’s (wikihow) guide to making friends - baku attempts to amend his friendship with deku ft kiribaku

will I ever be more than I’ve always been?  - baku trying to apologize for his shitty past. part of a series of future fic, they’re also great

—- ANGST CAUSE FUCK FEELINGS —-

white lily - midoriya izuku hates himself

scorpions and chains - hit by a quirk deku’s put to sleep, everyone else ended up seeing the past he never says

out of reach - @garbageisland-0​ ‘s nomu!deku au. it hurts 

for the future - during the sludge villain attack, baku watches deku dies right in front of his eyes, and he mourns

the stars welcome them home - on weekends students go home for the weekend, except satou, hagakure, baku, and todo

the sadness behind their eyes - as a teacher fuyumi wants none of her students to end up like her brother

this sick, strange darkness (comes creeping on, so haunting every time) - todoroki shouto is dead

so big / so small - sads but it’s todo, bday angst

Escape - the sads now ft kiri

the song of a broken past - kiri copes with his feelings with the violin, quirkless au

hit me up if you want the dirty//shot

[bagelbite]

so my thoughts on endgame

yes this does contain spoilers and yes, i will continue to tag any of my spoilers as “endgame”

did i hate the movie? no. it had many very good moments that i will list before i list the problems i had with it

i LOVED all of the humor like they did that so well. like when steve was fighting his younger self and young steve says “i can do this all day” and now steve goes “yeah i know” in this just tired voice. and americas ass. and all of the jokes about rocket being a raccoon. and hulk taking pictures with the kids and then when rocket and hulk were sitting in the back of the truck. when tony threatened to sell all of morgans toys. korg playing fortnite. the whole scott coming back the wrong age bit. hulk having to walk down the stairs. when tony told steve that if he dropped the shield one more time he was gonna keep it. like there were so many parts that were just so funny and i loved it.

i loved all the tender moments. that little moment of friendship between nat and steve where she calls the avengers her family. i was SOBBING when tonys daughter was revealed and at literally every interaction between them. the fact that tony wasnt even going to build the time machine until he saw peters picture and thw fact that he had peters picture at all. tony telling nebula “you won” and her freezing bc shes probably never heard that before. the fact that both nat and clint refused to let the other one die (which was the truest form of love i have ever seen, not romantic but just genuine platonic love. also not that bullshit thanos called love for the very same stone). the moment when clint was looking around for his family and couldnt find them so he was just running back and forth not knowing what to do. im not even going to mention tony and peter’s reunion or goodbye because i was sobbing like a child the entire time. quill thinking for a second that gamora was back. when pepper told tony “we’re going to be okay” and you think she means the world and humanity but she really means her and morgan. the entire interaction between tony and his dad. there were so so many parts that just hit me so hard.

i loved all the heroic parts. carol showing up outside the ship with tony and nebula. steve standing up with his shredded sheild, still fighting on. the fact that steve can fUCKING WEILD THORS HAMMER LIKE BRUH. also that sick combo he did with the sheild and the hammer. the hail hydra moment because steve is so incredibly smart and knows how to work a situation. all of those bad ass women gathering to fucking destroy thanos. the circle opening up and revealing tchalla and shuri and okoye walking out, silhoutted by the light and the wakandan battle cry. the fact that the canons recognized that carol was the largest threat around and firing at the atmosphere to try and stop her and she just fucking rips through them like nothing. carol beating the shit out of thanos and him having to literally hold the power stone in his hand to beat her. that moment where you see all of the heros lined up ready to fight. “i am iron man”.

obviously there are more of every moment, and i loved all of them.

but.

that doesnt mean that i liked the movie. and heres why:

1) thor’s literal character assassination. i reblogged a few posts (that you can find in my endgame tag) that explain this better than i will be able to but bruh. the russo brothers did thor so fucking dirty and it makes me pissed. they made him fat purely for the laughs (which someone pointed out an emphasis on the fact that they literally edited his weight out of the trailers because they wanted to use it as a gag in the movies). also, they blatently ignored and made fun of the fact that thor OBVIOUSLY was grieving and blamed himself for how things had turned out. he has lost literally everything in his life: his home, his father and mother, his brother, his best friend - and now the man who wiped out half of the human population taunted him with his mistake of not going for the head. also, thor literally just went through the whole process of realizing his true power and sacrifing his home in order to protect his people and youre going to tell me that he just decides “mmm imma go to space and leave you all here youre fine without me” like no. also please read this post it makes me so mad its so true.

2) the whole time travel plot. to me it didnt seem well thought out and it leaves so many plot holes. like if removing a stone can create another timeline, i dont think putting the stone back fixes anything. you have still technically created another time line. and like what happened to loki we saw him disappear wouldnt that be another time line??? and like if 2012 or 2014 or whatever thanos came to the present, then wouldnt that create another time line?????? and if steve stayed behind, then thats a whole other time line. like it just doesnt make sense there are so many things that do. not. work. (sidenote: thanos said the infinity stones were reduced to atoms. wouldnt that be reversable by scott and shrinking down into the quantum realm??? this is just an idea)

3) it was predictable. there were SO many times that i was able to tell what was going to happen before it did. like clints family vanishing. and scott finding an older cassie. and scott being turned into a bunch of different ages. and tony saying no and then saying yes. even tony weilding the gauntlet was predictable (i just refused to think about it bc i didnt want to see tony die).

4) steve staying in the past. now im going to preface this saying that im not trying to say that steve didnt deserve it. he did and im happy for him (since this is what the russo brothers have decided to make permanent). steve did deserve happiness and i will even say that he deserved peggy. but. that doesnt mean thats what he should have done. it was out of character for steve (not as bad as thor but still out of character). he would have recognized that the world needed him in the now and he wouldnt have been able to just stay in the past. like steve’s biggest character flaw is that he cant just sit by and do nothing, he always has to act. so now out of no where he just decides that hes gonna screw over everyone in the present and stay behind. like he knows they just lost tony AND nat, two of the og avengers, and hes just gonna decide to leave them hanging without another person???? and hes just going to sit by knowing that bucky is out there being tortured??? ALSO i am absolutely not saying that any part of his talk with sam was unnecessary. i even love the fact that he gave the sheild to sam (black captain america is my shIT HELL YES I AM HERE FOR IT). but. there is no way that steve “even when there was nothing i had bucky” rogers wouldnt say anything to bucky. and i saw someone saying “well they obviously talked off screen” bitch i dont care there are probably thousands of off screen things that happen and thats why we have fanfiction. but the on screen stuff matters and steve just ignores bucky entirely?????? no he fucking doesnt the russo brothers are just afraid to encourage any more interaction between steve and bucky because they fear stucky fans. and im not even saying this as a stucky fan im literally saying it as a marvel fan who knows the smallest amount of steve’s character.

5) tony creating his worst nightmare. tony has said multiple times that he blamed his dad for leaving him and it only makes sense that he would fear having a kid and then leaving them alone. and the russo brothers did just that. they gave tony the life he always wanted and then ripped him from it, creating tonys nightmare at the same time. he has now subjected morgan to live a life like he did, without a father. now personally i dont think tony should have died. did i predict that he was since infinity war (bc of rdj’s contract ending and also it will be very difficult to continue the “next generation” with these huge figures still around), yes. and i know that its unrealistic for everyone to survive in war but so is fucking time travel and they pulled that card. idk i just dont like how they did it.

so overall, i think i loved a lot of the overall moments on film, its just that i didnt like the themes, messages, and character delieveries shown in the movie. im just gonna go watch winter soldier and ragnarok and homecoming and captain marvel and black panther and all the other Actually Good marvel movies.