#im funny sometimes actually

[psychhound]

yall i was searching for something in my google docs and just found possibly the funniest d&d homebrew i couldve ever made i dont remember this at all but im weeping

HEY DO YOU WANT SOME UH,,, ALLERGIES

IF YOU WANT YOUR CHARACTERS TO HAVE ALLERGIES HERE YOU GO

choose a number of allergy triggers from this list: 

specific animals 

specific foods 

plants and plant-based spells or effects 

specific materials or magical items

monster types (beasts, celestials, dragons, etc) 

magical damage types 

specific spells 

specific magical effects 

schools of magic 

spellcasting classes or subclasses 

choose between hay fever, nausea, or anaphylaxis for each allergen  

upon exposure to the allergen, make a DC 10 constitution saving throw. on a successful save there is no effect. on a failed save refer to your chosen allergy symptom 

hay fever: you enter the poisoned condition. your sneezing alerts enemies within 300 feet to your presence. you can make a DC 15 con save at the end of each of your turns to remove this condition 

nausea: you enter the poisoned condition. you must pass a DC 10 con save at the beginning of each of your turns in order to take bonus actions and movement, and beat a DC 15 in order to take actions. on a con save of 20 or higher the condition is removed 

anaphylaxis: you enter the incapacitated condition. you must pass a DC 10 con save at the beginning of each of your turns or your movement speed is halved. on a con save of 5 or lower you enter the stunned condition. on a con save of 20 or higher the condition is removed 

if you are under the allergy symptom condition and roll a natural 1 on a con save, you immediately enter unconsciousness but are stable and do not make death saves 

lesser restoration, protection from poison, and lay on hands all remove the allergy condition. protection from poison does grant advantage on allergy saving throws 

THERE YOU HAVE IT ????? ENJOY ........ THIS.

(for more 5e homebrew including free disability stuff check my pinned!!)

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 6

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5]

[chloesimaginationthings]

The baseball reference on vanessas screen was genius because theres a baseball player named mike schmidt!

IM GLAD someone noticed this detail!!

[lbhslefttiddie]

"Shen Jiu, you really are a demon!"

in which yue qi saves an injured fox kit, which turns out to be an young fox demon. once he's recovered enough strength, he adopts a human form so that he can talk to yue qi properly, but ends up being caught by the slave traders as well. Since he can change form, it would be pretty easy for him to escape, but if he's discovered as a demon he'll never be able to return, and he has no home or family anyways, so he decides he would rather stay and help qi-ge, who will probably get himself killed without someone to stop him from doing stupid shit.

when shen jiu saves yue qi from death by horse carriage, and subsequently is bought by qiu jianluo, fairly quickly qjl realizes he is not human, and delightedly gifts him with a enchanted collar, which renders him unable to chnage forms, stuck in him demonic form and unable to change to full fox or full human shape. like this, he cannot leave the qiu manor at all without immediately giving himself away, even if qjl hadnt also locked him up. like this, he has no choice but to wait until yq makes his way back to the qiu manor at last, but when he's finally freed, he's initially almost feral from how he's been treated, and very nearly kills yqy...

[deltoradecay]

Being median is funny. I'm not a singlet and not multiple, but a secret third thing. Who am I? Depends on the day but when it comes down to it, I'm me. Who's that? Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy. I'm people soup. A coin with two sides, but still a coin.

[thewanderingmask]

good news i had more dumb ideas

part 1

[kindaasrikal]

Old wojira duo and their cheekbones i love them

Morro being Kai and Nya’s uncle but also technically being younger than them come to life

No because NONE of you know my disappointment when Maya came back and didn’t have her cheekbones how did she age down. Morro’s gonna lose his cheekbones too just watch 😭

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Quicky little question *clears my throat* Magneto in some Fire Emblem inspired armor? (Askin' because your Zephiel art is beautiful & I'd love to see Mags with a Rudolf-esque/Edelgard-Esque design)

i keep coming back to this ask with genuine intent to do it but i just devolve into joker laughter when i open my refs cause like.. what else do i do here... Corporate Wants You To Find The Difference theyre the same pic...

w/e i tried anyway please enjoy !!

bearded ver under the cut

[theslythernfreak]

something in me actively shriveling up and dying everytime i see dick grayson potrayed as someone who cant even do the most basic of things

[locusfandomtime]

you can really tell the different audience demographics of Lifesteal vs Hermitcraft by the comment sections because the average spokeishere or whatever comment is like “LIKE THIS if you are a real Spoke fan!!! ❤️👊😎 if this comment gets 100 LIKES ill tell my mom to subscribe 🤪 who else is watching in 2028❓❓😂” whilst the average ethoslab comment is like “my wife is giving birth but this is more important”

[bottlemandx]

award for most neurotic 13 year old goes to...!!!!

(LOW-EFFORT FUNNIES UNDER CUT)

[beatcroc]

what kind of frivolity would you engage in, mecha?

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[3liza]

grim has been pestering me but we just came inside from walk, he just got dinner, he just got new water, and he didnt really want to play. so i said "what do you want?" and i listed all those things we did and he stood there and looked at me. and then i said, "are your ears bothering you?" and he dipped his head down on one side and sort of pulled one ear back, and it was the ear that i noticed was bugging him earlier, so i said "okay im going to get ear medicine" and he patiently lay down on the floor and let me put ear medicine in and massage but it must have really been sensitive because he got up a lot sooner than he usually does and had to shake it out. then he got a snack for being good

it's possible he may have learned what "ear" means through sheer repetition. i talk to him a lot using repetitive words and phrases while we are doing associated activities, so he tends to pick up associations quickly even if i'm not drilling him formally. he also understands that even though ear medicine is unpleasant, he gets snacks afterwards and also that if he lets me clean his ears for him i will scratch the itches at the same time and he will feel better afterwards. he learned all this through very patient cooperation = snacks and praise training.

i do really recommend everyone who has cats or dogs that get itchy or infected or just dirty ears buy a bottle of Epiotic to have at home and do an ear rinse every few weeks. if you put oil or hydrogen peroxide or water or any other "home recipe" in your dog's ears it will probably make things worse, please do not do it. vets get patients ALL THE TIME who have owners that tried to clean their ears with coconut oil or vinegar. please dont. just buy the veterinary ear cleaner. it's the same stuff the vets are going to use at the office, and it'll prevent a lot of early-warning "itching and head shaking" type irritations from progressing into actual infections. the wet cotton ball method is probably the easiest to do at home and least annoying to the pet and for gods sake start training them BEFORE they get an ear infection and dont scare or restrain them or it'll take forever to regain the lost ground. if you approach this correctly you will never need to fight your dog for an ear cleaning. there are probably lots of cooperative training instruction videos on this specific issue so go check those out if youre not sure what to do. "force-free training" is another good search term

[terrysak]

I find it hard to believe that there are people who know The parkour Villian as The parkour Villian, but not as Clownpierce, like, that dude is literally in everything, how

[skitskatdacat63]

2011 Italian Grand Prix - Vettonso

[daily-crabbys]

Today's crab is: urchin for a fight