#im funny sometimes actually

[psychhound]

yall i was searching for something in my google docs and just found possibly the funniest d&d homebrew i couldve ever made i dont remember this at all but im weeping

HEY DO YOU WANT SOME UH,,, ALLERGIES

IF YOU WANT YOUR CHARACTERS TO HAVE ALLERGIES HERE YOU GO

choose a number of allergy triggers from this list: 

specific animals 

specific foods 

plants and plant-based spells or effects 

specific materials or magical items

monster types (beasts, celestials, dragons, etc) 

magical damage types 

specific spells 

specific magical effects 

schools of magic 

spellcasting classes or subclasses 

choose between hay fever, nausea, or anaphylaxis for each allergen  

upon exposure to the allergen, make a DC 10 constitution saving throw. on a successful save there is no effect. on a failed save refer to your chosen allergy symptom 

hay fever: you enter the poisoned condition. your sneezing alerts enemies within 300 feet to your presence. you can make a DC 15 con save at the end of each of your turns to remove this condition 

nausea: you enter the poisoned condition. you must pass a DC 10 con save at the beginning of each of your turns in order to take bonus actions and movement, and beat a DC 15 in order to take actions. on a con save of 20 or higher the condition is removed 

anaphylaxis: you enter the incapacitated condition. you must pass a DC 10 con save at the beginning of each of your turns or your movement speed is halved. on a con save of 5 or lower you enter the stunned condition. on a con save of 20 or higher the condition is removed 

if you are under the allergy symptom condition and roll a natural 1 on a con save, you immediately enter unconsciousness but are stable and do not make death saves 

lesser restoration, protection from poison, and lay on hands all remove the allergy condition. protection from poison does grant advantage on allergy saving throws 

THERE YOU HAVE IT ????? ENJOY ........ THIS.

(for more 5e homebrew including free disability stuff check my pinned!!)

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 6

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5]

[chloesimaginationthings]

The baseball reference on vanessas screen was genius because theres a baseball player named mike schmidt!

IM GLAD someone noticed this detail!!

[tennessoui]

ok i've had thoughts before about obi-wan going to stewjon post fall of the republic and recuperating/maybe even raising luke surrounded by a kenobi clan who hides him from the empire but what if like.

what if darth vader goes to stewjon post fall of the republic (& mustafar). he thinks maybe obi-wan could have possibly gone there because hey, it's his home planet and vader destroyed his other home. but he doesn't find kenobi. or he does--just not the right one. instead he finds like a whole clan of kenobis and none of them are an exact match for his old master who he despises, but obi-wan's third brother has his eyes, and his second uncle twice removed has hands that are just as rough as obi-wan's, and obi-wan's father, who is an old man now, has the same laugh.

and vader keeps going back to stewjon and the kenobis. once every year at least. ostensibly it's to ensure that obi-wan kenobi does not make contact or come to stewjon.

but it's just like. kenobi therapy. vader needs exposure to a kenobi every 6-12 months for his mental wellbeing, otherwise people will die.

sometimes he finds himself just sitting and staring at old man kenobi, obi-wan's blood father, and he's like. oh. that's what you would have looked like at that age. if i were still by your side to see you. if i had not taken away all your reasons to grow laughter lines.

(meanwhile obi-wan kenobi is across the galaxy on anakin's homeworld planet, all alone and wrinkling under the two suns, because when he'd lost his home to the empire, he'd run to the only other home he'd ever known: what remains of his padawan)

[deltoradecay]

Being median is funny. I'm not a singlet and not multiple, but a secret third thing. Who am I? Depends on the day but when it comes down to it, I'm me. Who's that? Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy. I'm people soup. A coin with two sides, but still a coin.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

charlies turn for the reference sheet beam

[d0thtml]

a glimpse into my stupid baka mind

[beatcroc]

what kind of frivolity would you engage in, mecha?

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[thewanderingmask]

good news i had more dumb ideas

part 1

[soapcan18]

The fact that Michael only appears in six episodes, and only speaks in FOUR of them, yet still became the fan favorite is hilarious. No one can resist the charms of silly spiral man

[kindaasrikal]

Old wojira duo and their cheekbones i love them

Morro being Kai and Nya’s uncle but also technically being younger than them come to life

No because NONE of you know my disappointment when Maya came back and didn’t have her cheekbones how did she age down. Morro’s gonna lose his cheekbones too just watch 😭

[theslythernfreak]

something in me actively shriveling up and dying everytime i see dick grayson potrayed as someone who cant even do the most basic of things

[locusfandomtime]

you can really tell the different audience demographics of Lifesteal vs Hermitcraft by the comment sections because the average spokeishere or whatever comment is like “LIKE THIS if you are a real Spoke fan!!! ❤️👊😎 if this comment gets 100 LIKES ill tell my mom to subscribe 🤪 who else is watching in 2028❓❓😂” whilst the average ethoslab comment is like “my wife is giving birth but this is more important”

[bottlemandx]

award for most neurotic 13 year old goes to...!!!!

(LOW-EFFORT FUNNIES UNDER CUT)

[3liza]

grim has been pestering me but we just came inside from walk, he just got dinner, he just got new water, and he didnt really want to play. so i said "what do you want?" and i listed all those things we did and he stood there and looked at me. and then i said, "are your ears bothering you?" and he dipped his head down on one side and sort of pulled one ear back, and it was the ear that i noticed was bugging him earlier, so i said "okay im going to get ear medicine" and he patiently lay down on the floor and let me put ear medicine in and massage but it must have really been sensitive because he got up a lot sooner than he usually does and had to shake it out. then he got a snack for being good

it's possible he may have learned what "ear" means through sheer repetition. i talk to him a lot using repetitive words and phrases while we are doing associated activities, so he tends to pick up associations quickly even if i'm not drilling him formally. he also understands that even though ear medicine is unpleasant, he gets snacks afterwards and also that if he lets me clean his ears for him i will scratch the itches at the same time and he will feel better afterwards. he learned all this through very patient cooperation = snacks and praise training.

i do really recommend everyone who has cats or dogs that get itchy or infected or just dirty ears buy a bottle of Epiotic to have at home and do an ear rinse every few weeks. if you put oil or hydrogen peroxide or water or any other "home recipe" in your dog's ears it will probably make things worse, please do not do it. vets get patients ALL THE TIME who have owners that tried to clean their ears with coconut oil or vinegar. please dont. just buy the veterinary ear cleaner. it's the same stuff the vets are going to use at the office, and it'll prevent a lot of early-warning "itching and head shaking" type irritations from progressing into actual infections. the wet cotton ball method is probably the easiest to do at home and least annoying to the pet and for gods sake start training them BEFORE they get an ear infection and dont scare or restrain them or it'll take forever to regain the lost ground. if you approach this correctly you will never need to fight your dog for an ear cleaning. there are probably lots of cooperative training instruction videos on this specific issue so go check those out if youre not sure what to do. "force-free training" is another good search term

[terrysak]

I find it hard to believe that there are people who know The parkour Villian as The parkour Villian, but not as Clownpierce, like, that dude is literally in everything, how