#im fucking awful with words

[lesbians4scully]

fuck he was so real for this

bc like. "i get silly" but there’s something Far fuckin bigger implied there. but he doesn’t elaborate- the "uh, um, i don’t know/ i’ll write something else" the diversion from whatever "i get silly" means. the use of "silly" to encompass Whatever this is. maybe it’s my own experiences biasing how i interpret it but. the word choice minimises it, but we can tell there’s something else there. i just like. it hits because the wording of Feeling Things here is similar to how i word feeling similar stuff out loud, yk ?? like. u don’t want to properly worry anyone, and u can’t verbalise it anyway, and really, it is "silly" but that’s so hard to step back from when ur In That Frame Of Mind. idk. as is evident, idk how to word it, but. he gets it. i often forget how good a writer he is bc Its The Silly Minecraft Guy !! and bc the stuff he writes for lovejoy, although GREAT, is far less personal: both for him and for the audience i think. but this shit really hits.

[mysterycitrus]

mischaracterising dick grayson’s robin as a feral, violent pseudo murderer because profound hope and perseverance in the wake of immense loss is apparently too complex of a character arc

[transgendercastiel]

[foundfamilywhump]

see like the thing with 'carewhumpers' as a concept to me is it just like... i know this is prrrrobably not really how it's meant but something skeeves me out about the idea that kindness or caretaking mixed in with hurting someone can somehow meaningfully complicate or dilute the harm done to the point of making that character no longer a 'whumper' whereas someone doing the same 'bad' things but not ever being gentle or caring for them would just be a straight-out whumper. when like... that's how 90% of irl abuse dynamics work? so i just... don't really get the point, i guess. like to me it implies something about the 'care' provided somehow mitigating or combating the harm done that. i just do not personally appreciate or enjoy.

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

"shipping saiki is aphobic because he's aroace!"

stares at you with my demiromantic asexual in a committed relationship eyes then looks at the camera like im in the office

[pcktknife]

Ive just progressively wanted to exist less and less and less in front of others for like years now and on my worst days it really gets to me

[chexmixup]

lingering on my skin like a burn

(Please read @geniusboyy’s Covenants and other Provisions, this has had me wrecked)

[newtscamandersbf]

’hikaru’ & yoshiki but theyre nennetti

cishet boy best friends behavior nothing to see here 🙈

[m00ngbin]

Here's these of Teru and his failure fever. Except this might just be him with the flu because I forgot that his failure fevers don’t really make him snotty. So. Yeah. Flu? Maybe. I had the flu two weeks ago and ykw he can have the flu too

[bloodfueledmachine]

day 5

[harvestmoth]

hi spoiler embargo ended. get rejuv blasted

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

i think the other thing that makes this ep not quite "work" is it isn't... i don't know, it must be aware of this, but it feels like it isn't aware of The Metaphor the alien plot is doing / saying about our main characters, and it doesn't take a second to truly show that to them. It is showing the chuldur stealing people's identities and doing some good ol' ~disaster tourism~, it tells us what they are doing is wrong, we're expected to be shocked and appalled by what they've done to ruby. but then there's not really a beat about how the doctor and co do the same thing every day (going to other times and taking the piss out of other ppl's histories / lives, then going off). and in the end even the contemporary human ruby "befriends" turns out to be a chuldur as well. so there's not a single regular human character developed in this.

then there's the whole proposal scene where the doctor and rogue "act" as well during that whole thing, which don't get me wrong was fun as hell, was a thrill to see them play w/ their prejudices, and as I said in my post the dialogue was very meaty for their particular characters.... but on the area of *theme* for this *episode*.... they're just doing the same thing as the chuldur. it feels like no one cares about all the people that are being murdered around them (nor the writers, who don't develop them), just their own fun.

and like the thing with doctor who episodes is, it's not enough to have a high body count, for it to be shocking.... you have to actually give those characters you kill a bit of depth/humanity/relatability, for the death to actually mean anything. ex: in end of the world, bc they show us the blue plumber and rose connecting for 1 little scene, we do actually care about her being murdered by the mini-war of the worlds robots, and care about what cassandra is doing. like the episode says "isn't the chuldur horrific? they are taking actual human beings as set dressing for their fun / entertainment!!" but then... the writing does the same thing by not giving death any kind of gravity / weight.

basically it feels like this B plot of the aliens wasn't properly aligned with the A plot of the rogue and doctor romancing. it works on its own (mostly, tho I still feel there's an element of depth missing in rogue)... but not with all the other aspects. which sucks bc the episode had all the ingredients to truly Bring It Home.

[megumi-fm]

.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

How's your activity feed, bud?

I am in hell.

Oh I wonder what the wider tumblr audience thinks, let me make a poll is the devil talking.

[butterflieswhisper]

hiiii ^^ beastlife fishie analysis. spoilers ahead. etc etc

okay so. the main point of this is simple. I don't think the salmon head cursed c!fishie. Explaining that is the harder part I think. also i'm going to refer to the salmon head thing in e5 as "the incident" from here on out because frankly i think it's funny

Let's start with the incident. The big day. etc. What happened? Why did it happen? Obligatory third questioning statement? Well. She was gifted the salmon head for her birthday by kiwi(or like. someone in the kiwibird system. -bird system. the birds). Immediately upon receiving it she relives parts of season one and fishie herself doesn't really acknowledge it. The other players definitely notice but im not caught up enough in any other pov yet to like have thoughts on that I'll come back to that point someday. Fishie seems shaken, sure, but she moves on so quickly, especially considering what happened just there. 37 seconds of standing frozen, unresponsive. she recovers in 5 seconds. And seeing how she reacts later on to realizing the memory situation--if she was aware that happened, she would probably be concerned by it. She puts it on for a brief second at the end of the party and takes it off immediately. She's otherwise normal -- well. as normal as she is otherwise up to that point. Because that is also how she acts with pretty much any salmon head, even just kiwi herself.

I raise: Episode one, about 8:20 in. The slow zoom on kiwi as the static overtakes every other noise. This is the *exact* same behavior displayed when fishie receives the salmon head, albeit without actual concrete old video footage style flashbacks. In episode two (28:55ish) the same thing happens when she looks at the salmon head in moch's house, but this time there is technically a flashback -- kiwis grave. Fishie moves on immediately and doesn't acknowledge her behavior at all, and, seeing as it is fishie, im inclined to believe that means she does not know she is doing it. Fishie (when alone) will discuss all of her problems in immense, and usually misguided detail (bestie i promise kiwi doesn't hate you???) to the audience and/or herself. I mean she's not alone in episode one, and it is technically presession, and i guess getting struck by lightning is a decent distraction from your problems, but in episode two? She is completely alone. There is nobody with her. She went looking for moch and moch is not there. She still doesn't acknowledge the fiveish seconds she is completely frozen. This happens again and again with kiwi and salmon heads.

And then that leads you to e5. The incident. She's. well. she's doing worse. 0:50. "This will distract me if i leave it up." This is the first mention from fishie herself about how fucking weird she's being, and even then she doesn't seem concerned. I think she does not realize she's being so so incredibly weird about it. If the static and freezing is what's referred to as "distraction" then keeping it in her inventory makes it worse actually so it wouldn't really make sense unless the way it is distracting her is NOT the. well. whatever the fuck is wrong with her (affectionate). After she puts the head on there's the static all the time but for a short brief amount of time she's like significantly more normal and i don't really know if that means anything i just think it's really funny.

And then we all know what goes on during the incident i'm not analyzing this video frame by frame. um. i could. but i am not going to right now. And then she has the conversation on the table with kiwi where she like is normal for 5 minutes. Like genuinely the most. i guess stable? fishie's thought process is is like in the moments directly after the incident. She is immediately understanding with the antikiwi situation, they come to an agreement that they're like. okay now. "thank you for everything and im so sorry i couldnt do more" / "it was short, but it was nice" "i knew what i was getting into when i married you" etc etc and then they kind of rush it at the end because people won't stop dying. But then fishie is fishie and takes it in the complete opposite extreme (from. um. whatever was wrong up until now. to "oh kiwibird must secretly hate me because" and then there's no real good reason she's just like that) and it's also an issue. And i think the season two memory thing is also a part of that but this is so long already and so i'm not going to get into it rn. So bringing all of this back to my original point: the salmon head was not the cause of the curse(?) because she's been so weird all the time forever and the salmon head thing was just like. an effect. of whatever went Wrong(tm) in the season transition. like the head was a vessel to Be Worse about it but i feel like it would have worked with any salmon head she got her hands on and that it happened to be kiwico was a coincidence and also that the head wasn't cursed at all there's just something deeply wrong with fishie s3 in general and uh yeah 👍

I'm so sorry this is so disjointed i had a thesis statement and everything. alas

[mamawasatesttube]

uh oh i can feel myself getting bogged down in the perfectionism sauce again... i need to write smth stupid and self indulgent ough