#usually by the end of the book The Evil Is Defeated or at least they get a victory while the war continues

[isdalinarhot]

did i like wind and truth? girl i dont know. ive been surrounded by people who both hate it completely and who think its the best book in the series. and the people who hate it hate it for stupid reasons like "kadolin dont interact much" and "they used early 19th century technology in this book series thats roughly at late 18th century technology" but i cannot deny that when i finished wind and truth i felt miserable. i dont like a book ending on an everything-is-horrible ending when theres gonna be a 7 year hiatus before the next one comes out. thats my big complaint.

[loving-n0t-heyting]

read amebedkars the annihilation of caste, plus arundhati roys book-length historical preface. in honesty i prolly learned more from the latter, which is more than anything a screed against the cult of gandhi as mahatma, tho she does give the impression of a writer willing to selectively present historical facts to paint a narrative. still, its facts shes painting with, and in many cases its very hard to imagine any context that could exonerate gandhi from the relevant charges. certainly a helpful pov to finally read in depth rather than as offhand iconoclastic remarks

the speech itself i think left me more flummoxed. ambedkar is at his best when he is railing against the evils of the caste system and the implausibility of various defences and concessions made on its behalf. this is a pretty easy pitch for me tho, growing up as a westerner without any reason to be invested in the chatuvarna. its like the cagot, such an obviously perverse system from an external vantage point that it hardly seems fair to award credit for thoroughly denouncing it unless youve been raised to see it as natural. still, its very stirring as a bit of skewering, especially of the "moderate" and "reformist" casteist positions it attacks, and of the "caste-blind" socialists and liberals who ignore the internal divisions and acrimony the caste system imposes on their envisioned base

he is more compelling as a symptomatologist than as a diagnostician or prescriber/prognostician. he takes by the end what seems like a maximally anti-"materialist" view of the causes of the persistence of the caste hierarchy: the social phenomenon of caste is due entirely to vedic dogmatism, to the point that advocating social rather than doctrinal reforms (primarily: inter-dining and inter-marriage) is futile and self-defeating. this is the context for his remarks about the need to reject the authority of the shastras. this interpretation of the basis of caste discrimination is accompanied by a shocking proposed solution: a purified and democratised hinduism as a state religion, whose new priesthood and scripture/dogma are to be administered by the state itself. only thus can the plague of casteism be stamped out effectively at the root (retrograde religious beliefs)

the blow of what reads to my own usamerican sensitivities as a brand of revolutionary theocracy and state control of religion is somewhat softened by his apparent lack of ambition in implementing it. he is upfront that he thinks the kinds of anti-caste reform he is advocating are simply impossible in the face of hindu society, a demoralisation bolstered in part by a top-down view of social change on which it is only possible as guided by a societys intellectual class—which he identifies with the class least incentivised to upend the system: the brahmins. obviously i had seen ppl draw the analogy between usamerican antiblack racism and indian dalit suppression, but it had never occurred to me that the topic would invite the obvious caste analogue of afropessimism

on the topic of ambedkars predictions about the future of hindu society, its sort of interesting to place him in the context of the current ascendancy of hindutva on the subcontinent. where ive seen ppl (roy in the preface included) speak of modi and ambedkar in the same breath, its usually (when not simply whitewashing ambedkar) been to take him on board as an ally against the hindutva menace. but im not sure how well the text of the annihilation of caste supports that reading? not in terms of what ambedkar would think of modi and hindutva, ofc; its not at all hard to imagine which side he would come down on there. but at the core of much of his criticism of the caste system is its inflexibility and incompatibility with a modern, cohesive, mobilised nation state and nation-building project. a house divided against itself etc etc. on his view, the system introduced social resentments and hostilities too deep to permit a hindu identity that could effectively unite the national public. one is inclined to say: would that it were so!

anyway these are just rough first thoughts, its very much not a topic where ik a huge amount. still wanted to put them on paper for an audiencxe, just to help clarify them to myself more than anything

[clean-casual-analysis]

When the villain is a philosophy

When you think of the word antagonist, the first thing that comes to mind is a villain. This is completely natural, given that stories of good vs evil tend to follow a heroic protagonist fighting against an evil antagonist. But once you get into the definition of the word, a person who actively opposes or is hostile to someone or something, moral alignment doesn’t dictate whether a character should be a protagonist or an antagonist. The most recognizable examples of this would be the likes of Invader Zim and Megamind, characters that are villainous in nature but are still the protagonists of their respective stories.

But villain protagonists and hero antagonists aren’t what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about the antagonists that aren’t entirely focused on, at least in the traditional sense. Antagonists that, despite being the source of conflict in the narrative, don’t actually show up a lot of the time. These antagonists, while characters in their own right, are more symbolic in nature. The protagonists of these stories aren’t just trying to defeat the antagonists, but the rotten philosophies that these antagonists have. The beliefs that push the antagonists to do their villainous acts.

White Diamond: Uniformity and the Status Quo

In the entirety of the original Steven Universe series, not counting the movie or SU Future, White Diamond appears in three episodes out of one hundred and sixty episodes. (Two if we don’t count White Pearl/Volleyball) That’s not even one percent of the series. In most series involving a good vs evil plot line, we usually switch perspectives between our heroes and villains to understand how they’re reacting to the events of the story. But SU is entirely told from Steven’s perspective. The audience only gets new information about gems, homeworld, Rose Quartz, etcetera, when Steven himself learns it. Because of this perspective, we don’t see the final antagonist of the series until the very end of the show.

But even though White Diamond is not present throughout the majority of the show, her homeworld subordinates and beliefs fill in the place of the hurdles that the protagonists must pass. Think about what the show is about and what lessons it teaches. Relationships are intricate and need mutual respect, being proud of who and what you are, and (most importantly) societal roles do not define you. The development of the main characters each involve acceptance of the self and bucking of what’s expected of them. Pearl fully moving on from Rose, Garnet improving her self-love, Amethyst fully accepting herself for what she is, Peridot’s disillusionment with Homeworld and growing appreciation for earth, Connie disobeying her mother’s strict rules, Steven slowly becoming someone better than even his own mother, I could go on. It’s honestly surprising, looking back, how most of the characters’ core issues stem from the lack of self-assurance and how homeworld views their flaws.

White Diamond and her Homeworld regime ultimately represent how systems put limits and stigma onto people for the sake of uniformity. The consequence of living inside your own head. A fusion cannot happen between two different gems, Pearls must be servants, Quartz gems must be big and strong, and Diamonds must be the perfect leaders. Why? Because that’s just what gems do. Because that’s how the system works. Homeworld’s status quo is one of creating an ever-expanding empire at the cost of independence, self-expression, unique lifeforms, and healthy relationships. The system can’t be wrong, White Diamond can’t be flawed, it’s how things have always been so why change what isn’t broken.

Sauron: Dominance and Corruption

While he has more screen presence and is a much more a significant part of the story of Lord of the Rings than White Diamond is to SU, the dark lord Sauron is similarly one small part of a larger tale. Heck, he doesn’t even have dialogue in the book trilogy. Also, like White Diamond, Sauron is best represented by his many underlings. Ruthless orcs with crude but effective weaponry, colossal beasts to crush his enemies underfoot, massive armies dedicated to the dark lord’s cause of dominating all life in Midde Earth. But what’s most notable about Sauron isn’t the great power he possesses or the armies he commands, it’s the way he corrupts and deceives those that stand against him.

The betrayal of Saruman the White, the nine Nazgûl once being great kings of men who were turned into terrible ringwraiths, and most notoriously, the enticing power of the one ring. Boromir, believing that Gondor can use this evil weapon for good. Smeagol, utterly degraded into a deceitful cave dwelling throttler named Gollum. Frodo, forced to carry a heavy burden that weighs him down both physically and mentally. To Sauron, the corruption of good is a weapon he wields with unmatched lethality.

The insidious nature of his villainy is what makes Sauron the great representative of dominance and corruption that he is. The promises of more enticing good people to do evil for the “right” reasons and the ruthless conquest for dominion over all is all too real an evil to ignore.

The Martians: Colonialism and Warfare

I debated with myself on whether or not the martians from War of the Worlds should be included here. Unlike Sauron or White Diamond, the martians are clear and present throughout the story. On the other hand, there isn’t a named martian general or a big bad that’s shown to lead the alien invaders into combat. In the end, the fact that the martians are made to purely represent the darkest parts of humanity outweighs the secondary theme of this essay.

One of, if not THE first alien invasion story, War of the Worlds messaging is clear and easy to understand. The tentacled beings from Mars are coldly intelligent, remorseless, and regard our world with envious eyes. They use human blood as sustenance when they aren’t vaporizing us by the hundreds, their tripods are horrific machines of mass destruction, and their invasion is one of slaughter and destruction. But the book is quick to remind us that humanity isn’t so morally innocent compared to the martians. The consumption of our blood seems horrific, but humans have also killed animals and each other for food and resources. Their tripods are colossal and terrifying, but humanity has made countless destructive war machines. The invaders are dead set on wiping out humanity, but humanity not only brought extinction to animals like the dodo bird but to entire groups of our own kind. The martians are not simply an alien invasion to fight back against, it’s a cautious look into our worst future. A humanity that prioritizes ruthless colonization and military might is a humanity doomed to be parasitic and heartless.

War of the Worlds also takes a critical view towards solving problems through warfare. Violence is sometimes needed to fight evil, but that does make violence a good thing. The action and battles in War of the Worlds are not thrilling or glorious, they are horrific and even bumbling to an extent. Much like the early British imperials that they represent, the martians are arrogant and only win because they have the better technology. Even the destruction of a tripod has severe consequences, a flaming wreckage falling into a lake and boiling the humans hiding there alive. There is nothing pride or goodness to found in destruction and death. Warfare and violence should be the last resort of those trying to survive, yet humanity and martians brandish their weapons without care or empathy for those beneath them.

The Truth, In-Fighting, and the Seemingly Insignificant

These antagonists all represent a morally dangerous part of humanity. The stubborn refusal to change a flawed status quo, the desire to dominate and corrupt those who don’t, needless conquest and bloody war. But despite all their power and influence, these philosophies that the villains believe in fail them in the end.

For White Diamond, her ultimate failure stems from the mortal enemy of all tyrannical systems: the truth. In the last episode of Steven Universe, White Diamond removes the gemstone from our protagonist’s body. Believing that the mischievous Pink Diamond is merely hiding in this human body, White seeks to end this silly game once and for all. But once the gemstone is removed, it does form into Pink Diamond or even Rose Quartz. It forms a bright pink Steven. In the final act of Change Your Mind, White Diamond is faced with reality and all its implications. This gemstone is Steven, it’s always been Steven. This half human is not the irrational or childish person, it’s White. The leader of Homeworld, the one who’s supposed to know all and make things better, is wrong. But in order to do that, she needs to leave her own head. One of the hardest things for a person to do is admit when they’re wrong, that their foundational beliefs holding up a status quo is deeply flawed and objectively false. But accepting that you were wrong, learning from and fixing your mistakes, and becoming something better than what you were before is the greatest reward anyone genuinely looking for redemption can ask for.

For Sauron, his victory over Middle Earth comes so close. Minas Tirith has been ravaged, the army of man outside the black gates are crumbling before his might, and the ring bearer has been corrupted. However, just when all hope is burned to ash, something unexpected happens. Gollum, the epitome of the corruptive power that the one ring possesses, attacks Frodo to get back his precious. Whether it’s through struggling with Frodo like in the movie or not paying attention like in the book, Gollum falls into the fires of Mount Doom with the ring in tow. In the movies, we’re told that the eye of Sauron can pierce through cloud and stone. Because of this detail, I personally wonder what was going through the dark lord’s mind as he watched Gollum plummet to his death. The one ring’s defense, Sauron’s greatest strength, corrupting others into fighting amongst each other, was what led to his ultimate downfall. This is not the first time something like this has happened. Think back to the orcs fighting amongst themselves, or when Wormtongue stabs Saruman in the back. Not to mention that the mercy of both Frodo and Bilbo is what led to Gollum reaching Mount Doom in the first place. Even with all his armies and power, Sauron underestimated the petty infighting amongst his followers and the little acts of kindness of his enemies. Even when the forces of darkness seemingly succeed, all they’ll have left is each other to destroy. As Frodo himself said in the Two Towers book, they can’t conquer forever.

For the martians, their demise comes outwardly from nowhere. Their Tripods fall silent and they all die due to sickness. The book states that the martians either never encountered bacteria like earth’s or they had wiped out all disease on Mars. In both scenarios, the martian’s belief in their untouchable superiority over earth led their death. As soon as their invasion started, they were doomed. War of the Worlds isn’t just a hard look at what humanity could become, but also a love letter to all types of life. Bacteria, the seemingly most insignificant part of our world, is our savior here. It is so, so easy to despise germs and how they make mankind ill. But they also decompose dead flesh, helps the human body digest food, and are just as vital to our world as so many other creatures’ humanity takes for granted. All forms of life has a place in this world and to undervalue, let alone actively want to eliminate, all of it is foolhardy and black-hearted.

It’s how these stories come to an end is why I’m attracted to the idea of villains representing abhorrent philosophies. They show the inherent flaws of such morally bankrupt ideas and how their failures are inevitable. The desire for uniformity and belief that your status quo is flawless cannot stand up to the truth of the situation. Great and powerful conquerors seeking to corrupt will find themselves destroying each other when there is nothing left to dominate, while small acts of generosity and sympathy keep their opponents afloat. Arrogant war lords with their mighty machines will crumble to the things they deem to be insignificant.

[jessicafangirl]

Building A Mystery

Here it is kids, my Vampire Volkarin fic, chapter 1. Life and the universe kept me from getting this one up sooner than I would like but I hope you enjoy this first glimpse into Mystery and Emmrich's tale. You can also read here on AO3

Let me know what you think kids.

Mystery Ingellvar AKA Rook and Emmrich Volkarin found each other at the end of the world. Together they stopped this from happening along with their team. After defeating the Elven Gods, the heroes of the Veilguard now keep watch from the Lighthouse and fight to keep evil from returning to the realm. During one of these battles Rook is nearly killed and Emmrich realizes that even though he gave up Lichdom to save Manfred he now has left himself nearly powerless to keep the woman he loves safe. Emmrich leaves the Lighthouse and Mystery to find a solution which will change their lives forever.

Okay let's get one thing straight. I LOVE Emmrich. He's everything. Peter Cushing, Vincent Price, Cardinal Copia, and any and all silver foxes I've loved all rolled into one. He deserves all the love.

Anyway, now that I've got that out of the way, my other love is vampires. And to me it makes sense that Emmrich would decide if Lichdom was off the table he'd figure out a way to make this a goal and make it work. Love makes us do funny things.

We may or may not have an appearance of a pale elf some of you may know here or at least be mentioned.

Mystery is the name I figured out for my Rook after I made her. It fits for an orphan left on a pile of skeletons in the realm of the dead don't you think? Myst is in her 40s (so Emmrich is still a little older) but she's just as much of a wallflower who didn't really interact that much with people until she ran into Varric a few years ago. He saw her talents and her knowledge and decided, yeah that'll do. That meeting opened up a world to her she'd only read about in history books and novellas.

Instead of being around people and adventuring around, she had spent her time amongst the dead reading, training. She'd never ran into Emmrich but when she does finally meet him it's like one of those elegant heroes from the books she read all her life had stepped out of the pages for her.

So that's a little background for you. Give me all your angst baby. I'm here for the tasty angst.

______________________________________________________________

Emmrich was gone.

That was what Rook woke up to when she’d come round. Emmrich was gone and no one knew where to. She’d nearly died…again. At least in the Fade she couldn’t die, no matter how hellish it was while trapped there. She’d actually just disappeared and not been almost skewered by a well-placed blade by an undead warrior with really good luck. At least until Taash had roasted his undead flesh off his bones. The blade had just missed her heart.

Rook’s blue eyes were hazy as she came to, everything hurting. Her first word was his name. But Emmrich didn’t answer her. Instead Lucanis came to stand beside her, taking her hand in his gloved one. “Shhh, it’s okay. You need to rest.” His softly accented voice wrapped around her.

Rook didn’t want to rest; she wanted to know where her Necromancer was. But she didn’t have a lot of choice in the matter as the dark was pulling her back down again. She thought she heard Manfred’s familiar hiss as she slipped away, Lucanis telling the skeleton “I know, but we can’t bother her with that now.”

The next time she came round it was to daylight streaming through a window somewhere nearby. She had no idea how long she’d been out, but her dreams had seemed very real. More like memories…but she was seemingly watching it all take place from somewhere other than her body. The fight…that was first….the smell of blood and corrupted dead flesh. There was a scent to the undead who were brought back with dark magic…it wasn’t clean…it was foul. Not even the usual smell of a typical corpse, something Rook was used to thanks to her time in the Mourn Watch and the Necropolis.

No, the corrupted dead were beyond normal rot. It was as if the evil that had beget them permeated everything, even maggots wouldn’t feed from them. If some did, they’d die from the tainted feast, falling off them limp and lifeless.

The battle hadn’t been a long one. The mage who had decided to try their luck at the powerful forces needed didn’t realize just how much they had taken on in their bid to take over the city. It had wound up destroying them…too much infernal magic. The mage had died spectacularly in a ball of their own fire leaving a number of undead to deal with before the city was overwhelmed.

Rook saw in her mind’s eye how elegant Emmrich had been, his hands graceful as the green energy that he had flowing through him shot out and brought a final, merciful end to many of the creatures. He’d call out a “Well done my love.” When she’d take down their foes and she’d shout back when he’d do the same “Dashing and dangerous my dear.” Rook swore she could see the blush on his pale cheeks when she’d done that.

She’d been surprised. That’s what had happened. She’d taken care of the two undead she’d been fighting but a third had been in hiding. The pain had been quick, breathtakingly intense and then more concerningly gone and replaced by a chilling cold that spread through her quickly. Rook felt the blade pulled out from her chest and from far away heard Emmrich’s tortured cry of “Noooooo!”

She’d fallen to her knees and was oddly calm when she looked up at the moving cadavers face, red flames in place of eyes. This was it…I’m so sorry Emmrich….it’s my fault. I’m so sorry. It repeated over and over in her head. But before the creature could deliver a final blow it was ripped away from her in a blast of green. The undead was thrown with such force at a brick wall on the other side of the plaza that it exploded in a shower of gore, blood, and bone.

Rook had seen it and watched in numbed awe and disgust combined. It was impressive but not pleasant to look at. Her eyelids were so heavy then and it hurt to breathe. The blood was staining her shirt under the thin armor and the cold was now stretching from her chest out through her arms and legs. The blood was warm though…it was taking her warmth with it as it steadily left her. “oh….”

The wave of dizziness made her world spin and then Emmrich was there, kneeling beside her, catching her and pulling her into his arms. The scents of lilac and sweet incense met her nose, washing away the scents of decay. “My darling.” She heard his gentle voice, the words that sounded so brittle against her ear trembling. “My love you must hold on…stay with me Rook…you must stay with me.”

“Emmrich…” She heard herself as if far away, “I’m sorry…didn’t see them.” Rook had pressed her cheek against his warm chest, the heat of him radiating through the soft silk of his shirt. He always smelled so good….she’d miss that.

He’d held her so tightly for a moment, she’d heard a choked sob trying to be kept at bay in his long throat. “Shh…I need…I need you to stay awake my Mystery.” He pulled away just enough to start working the clasps of her armor. He had to see the damage; he had to fix this now. The rest of the battle was nearly done, he could hear the clashing of weapons, the sounds of other magic being launched at their foes. Emmrich could hear the distant panting of Lucanis who had followed him as he ran to where they were to keep watch while he tended to her.

She remembered the pull of the armor against her wound, the hiss of pain as the Necromancer pulled it away. His green and gold flecked eyes had widened at the sight. “My love….” He’d whispered the words, as though he didn’t realize they were said out loud. Her shirt was stained red from her blood, the injury deep. He’d immediately started crafting healing magic to stop the damage, the bleeding.

She’d been hurt bad, and Rook knew it, could feel it, could see it in Emmrich’s tortured expression. The familiar tingling, the slight burn of the magic leaking into her skin made her hiss. The fact it hurt this bad was another sign of the severity of the wound. Rook had blacked out then, her eyes too heavy to keep open any longer. The next time she came to some half-wakened state it was to darkness. Things were blurry, her vison unclear. There was a numbness to her body, like a limb when you’ve slept too long on it. The feeling spread out from her chest to her toes and fingers. And seemingly her brain as she couldn’t make out details in the gloom. But then there was a flare of green fire, familiar in the near black of the room.

“Emmrich….” Her voice was unfamiliar to her ears, weak, barely a whisper. Just that word took all her strength…but it was a word worth the sacrifice, worth any sacrifice. And then he was there beside her, the green fire surrounding his fingers like ghostly flames of jade.

When her heavy eyes met his she saw in their depths fear, sorrow, exhaustion but a determination no other could have matched. “I am here my love.” He said, the lilt of his voice reaching her ears like a caress. “You must save your strength. Do not talk dearest.” His hands hovered over her heart, above the wound in her chest. He spoke an incantation of healing, the dialect actually unfamiliar to her…or maybe she was simply too still in shock to recognize it.

The thrum of magic rippled over her skin and through her and with it a feeling that she could only say was Emmrich. In that magic that came from within him she felt his love, his strength and will to mend her wounds, to make her whole again. The scent of lilac and bergamot filled her nostrils. She could almost hear his voice now in her head “I will not lose you my love. I will not let you go. We’ve been through too much for you to leave me now. I’ve only just found you. I cannot lose you. I will not lose you.”

The heat from the magic entering her spread throughout her entire body. It felt like comfort and Mystery could feel it pulling her back down into sleep. The glow of green faded then and she heard Emmrich let out an exhausted sob as he fell to his knees next to the mattress.

No…no Emmrich shouldn’t be crying. Never. She couldn’t bear the thought. Rook reached out her fingers and let them thread into his silver laced hair. “I love you…don’t…cry.” She managed to say even though the words sounded far away to her ears.

At this he raised his head in surprise, his fingers clasping hers tightly, the gold of his rings still warm from the residual magic. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, his mustache tickling her skin. “I…I love you my Mystery.” Rook heard him take a ragged breath as he pressed her fingers against his cheek. Even in her stupor of a state she could feel the stubble of a beard starting to form. Emmrich’s control had returned, Rook could sense it in the way he straightened his back as he placed another kiss to her fingers. “You must rest. Let my magic do its work dearest heart. Do not fight the pull of sleep, let it in and dream of our home.”

Rook didn’t want to sleep. She wanted to stay with him, but she saw a soft glow of green light where their hands were clasped together, and a warm wave of sleepiness started taking over her. “Want…to stay…with you.” Rook said drowsily, her eyelids so heavy.

“You will darling…you will.” She heard Emmrich say from far away. Rook felt something slip onto her ring finger then, still warm from the green fire. “This I vow my love.” Sleep took her then.

She vaguely remembered opening her eyes the next time to a familiar chamber, now no longer shrouded in darkness. There were walls of books surrounding her, beautiful and filling the air with the scents of old paper and leather…the perfume of knowledge she’d named it and Emmrich had smiled so lovely at the phrase one night while they had been researching a ceremony to remove a haunting.

He’d kissed her without a word suddenly after she’d said it. Rook had been happily surprised by the action. “What was that for?” She’d asked him, grinning like a school girl with the biggest crush.

“Because you have a beautiful turn of phrase my dearest…and I could not resist the temptation of the lips that could conjure such lovely prose.” The Necromancer had replied, his ring covered fingers lightly caressing her cheek as he smiled down at her.

She’d shook her head at the thought such a man who could craft such elegant flattery would think she was the one with the knack for phrasing. Emmrich’s voice and his own way with words was one of her weaknesses. With the way the firelight had caught his eyes and glinted in the lovely silver streaking his hair, blazing within the gold of his rings and bracelets she decided she wanted to plunder the treasure that was her necromancer.

He’d noticed the way her eyes had darkened, the blue depths sapphire, her lips turning up in a smile that meant dastardly thoughts had entered her head. “My love…what are you plotting?” He’d asked, cheeks flushing and the question only slightly breathy.

She’d pushed him to the settee, and he’d fallen back against the cushions, still graceful though surprised. Rook remembered draping herself over him and the poor man was trapped. “We…we…really should be exploring…” She’d gotten at least two buttons undone on his shirt at that point and her mouth had found his throat, as did her teeth. The sound he’d made was probably supposed to be a word, but she’d been hard pressed to figure out which one. And she’d had other things on her mind like the rest of the buttons.

A quick intake of air “Exploring….ways…to…” he tried again. Emmrich was a determined sort that was true. But so was Rook. Half the buttons now and she started peppering his chest with kisses, her cheek rubbing against the graying hair that covered the center above his heart. “stop….” He managed to gasp out.

She remembered lifting her gaze to his, seeing his green eyes nearly closed, the color so dark she could barely see where the pupils ended and the green began. Her fingers ran along his side, sliding to his hip. “Did you say you want me to stop?” She’d asked, one brow raised.

He’d had one very short look of panic cross his face. “Don’t…don’t stop.” He’d practically begged. “Never…stop.” He’d then pulled her up to where she was literally sprawled on top of him and held her face in his bejeweled fingers. “Never…” He’d said and then kissed her fully, taking her breath away along with his own.

The memory was sweet. One of a treasure trove that had managed to outweigh the bad she’d collected so many of in her life. The scales were getting more even all thanks to a man who could make the dead speak and her life sing.

But he wasn’t here right now. The room was missing what made it truly special, made it home. She sat up, wincing just slightly at the pull on her injuries and sore muscles. She was healed for the most part. She moved aside the long silken shift that covered her to look down at where the blade had pierced her.

It had been worse than she imagined it or remembered clearly. There was an angry scar marring her pale skin, just to the side of her heart. This was evidence of how close she’d came to dying…the fact Emmrich’s healing magic, something he was powerful in, had not been able to leave her unmarked. How long had she been unconscious? Where was Emmrich?

Brain still hazy from the ordeal and just coming round, Rook pulled her shift back into place and slowly swung her legs off the bed. The sheets, the pillow cases smelled like him. The cologne he wore that held the scents of lilacs and bergamot. There was a hint of incense too. All of this was Emmrich, and it calmed her slowly growing anxiety a bit.

Rook glanced down, feeling something unfamiliar on her left hand. There now was a golden ring, sigils of protection carved into the band with a stunning pale green emerald. In the light the green matched Emmrich’s magic almost perfectly, as though he’d given her a piece of himself that could always be with her. She ran a finger over the stone, tears pricking her eyes.

She went to stand and nearly stumbled, her muscles not used to the motion. Rook grasped hold of the wooden column of the bed nearest her letting out a gasp as there was still pain in her chest. The movement of her arm pulled the still tender muscles and freshly healed flesh.

A familiar hiss from across the room met her ears and Manfred’s skeletal visage appeared quickly following it. The sweet spirit gently took hold of her arm to keep her steady.

“Thank you…Manfred.” Rook managed to say, her throat dry and raspy.

Manfred settled her back on the bed to sit with her feet on the floor. After a few more hisses and gestures, Rook took the hint she was supposed to stay there while Emmrich’s favorite student headed off. He returned a minute or two later followed by Davrin looking relieved and worried in equal measure. It was a strange combination.

“Rook…how are you feeling?” The Warden’s kind eyes studied her.

“Sore…and thirsty.” She looked up at him.

Davrin saw how pale she was. There didn’t seem to be a fever though, just exhaustion showing in her blue gaze. He moved to a table nearby and poured some water into a cup, bringing it over to her. “Drink this slowly. You’ve been out for a while.”

After a few sips she kept hold of the cup, grasping it in her hands tightly to try and keep her fingers from trembling. Her voice she wasn’t so successful with. “How long is a while?”

Davrin glanced away. “On and off for about eight days.” He answered her.

Rook gasped at that. Eight days. She’d been more damaged than she thought. Emmrich had to have been exhausted.

“Where’s Emmrich? Sleeping I hope?” she asked, taking another drink.

Davrin didn’t answer her, and Rook noticed. “Davrin…where’s Emmrich?” Her voice was hushed to her own ears.

The warden turned, his eyes not able to meet hers still. “He left two days ago…when he knew you were going to be okay.”

As if knowing he’d waited to make sure she was alright would make his absence better. Where did he leave to though? “What happened, why did he leave?” Rook’s voice hitched up, a strange feeling running up her spine. Emmrich wouldn’t just leave. He wouldn’t just leave her…at least she didn’t think he would.

Davrin leaned against the bottom left post of the bed, crossing his arms over his chest. “None of us knew he was going until Manfred walked into the main all carrying two letters on a tray like a butler. One was addressed to the team and the other’s for you.”

He pulled an envelope from his tunic’s pocket, one that was familiar to Rook from Emmrich’s desk. They were from his best stationery, the pieces he used for his most important correspondence. Davrin slipped it into her shaking hand.

He quickly glanced away, pursing his lips. “Honestly, I hadn’t seen him in a state like that before. I should have known something was up.”

Rook’s blue eyes stared at the envelope in her hand like it was the most poisonous spider she’d ever seen. She placed the cup of water on the bedside table as though the weight of the envelope needed both hands to keep it in her grasp. “What sort of state Davrin?” she asked him in a hushed whisper.

Davrin was reconsidering being the one to bring her the letter and the news. “The closest I can compare is when you were lost to the fade. He looked haggard. Haunted as though he hadn’t slept since you were brought back here. I know the amount of healing he had to do worked on him but…it was more than that.”

Rook closed her eyes and fought back a sob, her breath hitching. “What did your letter say?”

The warden sighed. “He told us he had to go away for a while and to ensure you were taken care of until his return, Manfred as well. He had a personal quest to follow. He didn’t leave any more details.”

Rook was in shock. He’d left Manfred behind? She felt her face grow visibly paler, her heart beat speeding up in anxiety, a creeping feeling of dread growing up along her spine. Her muscles winced as she felt a tremor pull at her still healing wound.

Davrin didn’t want to leave her alone, but he had a feeling whatever was in the letter would be better read privately. The warden moved away from the post of the bed. “I’ll go check in with Lucanis on getting you something to eat. Manfred won’t leave your side no matter what we tried so we’ve been taking shifts with him.”

She looked up at him, her blue eyes distant. “Thank you Davrin…thank everyone.”

He gave her a nod, placing a large hand on her shoulder with far more gentle care than anyone would expect and then left.

Mystery’s fingers shook as she stared down at the envelope. Delaying this wouldn’t do any good but she couldn’t stop the scenarios in her head. His loss of lichdom had finally come home to him and he couldn’t stand seeing her, the one that had talked him into saving his skeleton of a son instead. He couldn’t deal with how needy she was. He’d realized he could do so much better than she.

The old doubts could come so fast, return so quickly that it made it hard to breathe for a few seconds as they strangled her. Her own parents hadn’t wanted her…why would the most handsome, most magical man she’d ever met still want her around?

As if knowing her thoughts the ring on her finger grew warm. In a trick of the light she thought she saw the stone glowing. He’d not part with something like this if he were tossing her aside, leaving her behind, would he? Mystery ran shaking fingers through her short blonde hair, twirling the single braid nervously around her finger. Emmrich would do the same thing sometimes before they would head into a dangerous situation, his thumb stroking it with a sweet smile “For luck.” He’d say, then press his lips to her hair.

She felt a single tear hit her cheek and she wiped it away taking a shaky breath. “Get it over with Myst, just do it.” She told herself.

The envelope opened easily as she carefully pulled the green wax seal that held the shape of a skull away. The pages were thick, and she held them to her nose for a moment, catching the scent of the lotion he used, the fragrance of lilac and some herbal mixture that would always linger when he touched her. Mystery unfolded the pages and there in Emmrich’s beautiful, precise handwriting was his message to her. She took a deep breath and began reading.

My beloved Mystery,

I’ll be gone by the time you read these words. I would not have left your side if I didn’t know for certain my healing spells worked and you would be well. Nor would I have left you without knowing you’d be in the safest, most trustworthy hands of our friends, our family as they’ve grown to be.

What I’m doing and where I’m going is too dangerous to risk you or Manfred. And while the danger is great the reward shall be a way of ensuring your safety and my ability to keep you safe. To ensure we are together always my darling.

I will never regret choosing Manfred’s return to us over lichdom. Our little family fills my heart with joy and wonder every day. But this latest near loss of you, so close to losing you my beloved, has shown me that I must find a way to keep you safe and to protect you. A way to ensure I am there to fulfill the promise of my vow. My dearest heart, I believe I have found a way to do this and perhaps give me what lichdom could as well in some ways. While you recovered I planned, I worked, and drank more than my share of Lucanis’s strongest coffee. I don’t know if I’ll be able to recover from so much of that brew.

My Mystery, it is the hardest thing I’ve had to do, leaving your side like a thief in the night. But know that I will return to you as soon as I’m able. When I do, I may be changed, and I hope I am. But in your eyes and in my heart know that I’m the same man who loves you more than life itself and whose life truly began when you found him.

Forgive me for leaving you like this, but I know if I had told you I was going I would not have been able to resist if you had asked me to stay. I can deny you nothing my darling, but this separation will be worth it in the end. And I will then be by your side forever more.

Yours always and with love, E.

Mystery reread it three times before it finally hit her that he’d left because of her, just not in the way she had worried about. Now it was a whole other level of fear and sadness that took over her thoughts and guilt. Oh Maker, the guilt that fell over her. Her stupid and careless mistake that had nearly cost her her life had taken away one of her reasons for living.

“Oh Emmrich…” She felt the tears come then in earnest. There was no stopping these. The vagueness of the letter wasn’t helping. What had he gone to do that was so dangerous he wouldn’t allow her and Manfred to go with him? He’d been right, she would have made him stay somehow.

She heard a soft hiss come from behind her and Manfred appeared holding one of Emmrich’s embroidered handkerchiefs. “Rook…ssssad.” He said and she could do nothing but shake her head and take the piece of cloth.

Of course it too smelled like him as she wiped at her eyes. “Yes Manfred, I’m sad.” She managed to say. She needed to pull herself together even if her heart was shattering into a million pieces of worry, guilt, and pain. Manfred needed someone to keep an eye on him, to keep him on his path of studies. She had her other obligations for keeping the realm safe as one of the heroes of the Veil Guard.

Mystery still didn’t know quite how all this happened, how her life had gotten to where it now was. It was so much. All of it. But Emmrich was always there, or at least he had been, to keep her grounded. Emmrich with the sweetest words, the most skilled fingers, and kisses that could melt a slab of iron with the heat they could contain. Her Necromancer was all prim and proper etiquette for the world to see, but when it was just the two of them, particularly during the moon lit hours, another side would emerge.

Emmrich Volkarin had a hunger within him that was directed at her. It wanted to consume her. Those words filled with charm and politeness would disappear as those magical fingers would pull at the buttons keeping her shirt on and her flesh from his touch. That smooth, honey voice would grow lower and would start muttering phrases that would make her cheeks burn even now just remembering it. “My Mystery,” he’d say, “I shall take my time solving you. But tonight I will uncover all I can, taste every part that is you until I have my fill.”

His mouth would find her neck first, his mustache tickling her skin while his tongue ran along her pulse, tasting her as he’d promised. His teeth would suckle then, leaving her gasping as he marked her, the first of many such brands he’d leave all over her.

In the morning she’d ask him to place a glamor on the ones visible just so they weren’t flaunting themselves too much and he’d sigh and grumpily do so. “Not all of them my dear, I feel I’ve earned the right to remain for you to remember.” He’d say after a wave of green magic settled over her skin erasing the little purple marks.

Mystery would shake her head and smile, kissing his chin and giving it a quick nip. “As if I could forget.”

She couldn’t keep thinking about those nights, these memories. She’d just crumple onto the floor and Manfred was right there hovering and making tiny little erratic, nervous noises. Rook gripped the handkerchief tightly and sat up straighter, turning to the gem eyed skeleton. “Manfred, Emmrich has gone on a trip, but that doesn’t mean you are getting out of your lessons.”

Manfred nodded. “Left…with Rook.” He said.

She gave a watery smile. “Yes, he left you with me. So tomorrow we will start on your lessons, okay?”

“OK” The skeleton replied, seemingly feeling better about things.

Rook found it so strange how you could tell when Manfred was smiling when he was literally a skull. But she could at this point. She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Good…I think I need to take a nap for a while, why don’t you go back to reading the tome for tomorrow’s lesson?”

Manfred nodded and headed back to his chair and the book that was still there. Rook watched as he picked it up and started his studying again. Mystery placed the letter on the bedside table and then curled up in the bed only wincing a little at the pain in her chest. That pain was nothing compared to what she now felt but hopefully it would all heal in time.

She only hoped that Emmrich would let her know he was okay or better yet be back sooner than later. Any other outcomes she wouldn’t let take root in her mind or heart.

[returnofthelightt]

Hasta & The Final Girl Trope In Horror Films: A (Mini) Analysis

Here on this post, I wanted to make a short analysis on how I think Hasta connects to the The Final Girl Trope.

☆ Please note that the Final Girl Trope actually has evolved. The trope characters are not what it used to be, I will be going back to the original origins of this trope.

☆ In addition to the Hasta Nakshatra, I found that many of the women playing have Mula, Revati and Mrigashira as well. My research today only focuses on Hasta but please note it is not limited to this Nakshatra only.

☆ Many of these references that are used are personal opinions and theories. If you do not agree or have a different opinion I would love to hear it! But please be respectful in doing so.

The Final Girl Trope

The Trope Itself

Before diving deeper into the hasta Nakshatra, let’s look at the ‘Final Girl’ trope description.

The final girl in movies is usually the last person standing or is the only woman that can make exit in the movie. They are usually described as being the virgin or sexually unavailable, refraining from sexual activities, as well as alcohol and drugs. Additionally, many of the Final girls portrayed had Brunette her instead of Blonde (blonde characters - specifically women, were perceived as highly promiscuous). If not all the time, most of the final girls are known to be more intelligent or at least carry smarter decision-making. They are the first ones to sense that something is ‘off.’ As mentioned before, Hasta’s sign of Virgo, is ruled by Mercury (Mercury exalts in Virgo). Mercury rules human intellect, as it is a combination of the sun (the soul) and the moon (mind). 

If we look at even the basics, the sign of Virgo is ‘The Virgin.’ Virgin women are often stereotypically described along the lines of being pure, innocent, chaste, and so forth.

Additionally, the women have an androgynous appearance - with their names and clothing sometimes being unisex. Claire Nakti in her Hasta Nakshatra video discussed how they manifest their traits through purity and by detaching from male influence. Claire also talks about how “Hasta women like to prove their worth without needing men, as well as female power separated from female appearance/sexuality” (this can be depicted in numerous ways such as their work, appearance and so forth). Hasta picks up all external influences, analyzes them, and discriminates based on their observations. Hasta picks out men and realizes only the divinity is deserving of her.

It’s hard to exactly state if The Final Girl trope exudes the real meaning of feminism, or at least women standing up for themselves against evil. However, I wonder if Hasta’s appearance in these films unconsciously aims to reject the typical views that some males hold of women (i.e. unintelligence), and how his perception of the Final Girl often ends up with the evil male lead having to disappear to avoid being killed or eventually is killed. Claire Nakti also mentioned how many Hasta women are involved in using books or poems to criticize male behaviour, male sexuality the struggles of women opening up, and the promotion of female independence regarding intellect. The Final Girl in the film must use her wit to decipher the situation and defeat the Killer through the use of her hands.

If we decipher Carol J Clover’s book on the Final Girl trope, she does mention how the victims in Slasher films are mostly viewed as women, whereas the evil characters are males. Often these Final Girls are initially stereotyped for the male gaze at the beginning of the film, but eventually, the viewer roots for the final girl to defeat the monster. The woman becomes ‘masculinized’ when she is forced to defeat the monster by utilizing a weapon.

Carol further emphasizes this action while discussing how the killing of the monster/killer can be related to ‘castrating’ the male, which in return eliminates the ‘threat’ to the uterine. The body part that represents Hasta’s is the palm of their hand. The Hasta Nakshatra is known for manifesting outcomes with their hands. In Komilla’s Sutton book, she describes how Hasta can be related to elephants, as they use their trunk as an extra hand to complete their task. I thought this was interesting considering the quote ‘to hold something/someone in the palm of your hand,’ pretty much means you the influence or control of something/someone. The symbolism of the hand of course can be also correlated to their Deity, Savitar - The Sun God. Savitar was known to be skillful with his hands.

In all, I do think Hasta has some correlation with the Final Girl Trope, whether it would be in films or tv shows. I do think there are many of factors (my own personal ones) and others that are discussed in Clover's book. It wasnt that long, but I hope you guys enjoyed reading it! Feedback would be greatly appreciated xx.

[trunyok]

Evil Monkey AU and JTTW AU where Wukong escaped the punishment from the Buddha.

Disclaimer: in the future some details may change. I read jttw a long time ago and because of this could have forgotten some of the details.

This AU begins at the time when Sun Wukong was captured by the heavenly troops, thanks to Erlan-shen, after a commotion in the heavenly palaces.

It was also not possible to execute the monkey, and attempts to "smelt" the elixir of immortality ended in utter failure. But this time Wukong manages to get out of the oven a little earlier than in the original book, thanks to Taibai Jinxing ('Great White Golden Star'), who decides to help him, but oh his own terms. One of the terms is that after the escape, Wukong will not leave his cave on the mountain of "flowers and fruits".

Reluctantly, the Monkey King agrees and so that the people from the heavenly palaces would not notice the loss, Taibai Jinxing poured the elixir of immortality and a few other things that he had prepared in advance in order to simulate the death of a monkey.

Sun Wukong returned to his cave but he couldn't accept that he had lost so shamefully, so he decided to wait for the right moment to take full revenge for his disgrace to everyone in the heavenly palaces in the future.

So 500 years passed until he found out about the Tang Monk, who was chosen by the goddess Guanyin herself, so that Xuanzang personally went to the Buddha for books to the West and brought them to China.

The Monkey King realized that this was a great opportunity for revenge, so he was determined to kidnap the unfortunate monk.

The Monkey King found a monk who, as usual, got into some kind of trouble. Wukong decided not to interfere and watch him for a bit longer. Wukong is a master of transformations, so it was easy for him to follow the monk unnoticed.

As the days passed, the Monkey King began to understand why the Tang monk had such bad luck, and also noticed that after overcoming the trials, he had a sacred aura. Wukong decides to wait a little longer for this aura to strengthen.

When the monk has already had 3 disciples, the Monkey King finally decides to act.

He gets into a fight with 3 apprentices and defeats them. The students barely survive by running away.

Wukong knew after observing that the monk was also guarded by the spirits sent by Guanyin, so he immediately threatened them that if at least one of them left the monk and tried to report the situation to the goddess, he would kill them and Xuanzang without hesitation...

And that's it for today! Thank you for taking the time to read!

[positivelybeastly]

Do you think you can explain in explicit detail why Percy's version of beast doesn't work?

All right, so, hopefully you can forgive me for taking a bit of time to come to this ask, because it's quite the subject matter, and it's one I take very seriously. I want you to have a good answer or no answer at all.

In order to explain why Percy's Beast doesn't work, we first need to establish a continuity for Beast, and why and how he works.

Which is why it's a good thing I have a 14 page Google Doc that goes into detail about all of this, which I'm going to drag and drop here:

Beast in the Krakoan era is a fascist mutant supremacist, who believes that the ends justify the means; he's cold-hearted, cruel, endlessly self-justifying, unfunny, shortsighted, and overall, a bastard. He is without nuance - and it's not just me saying that, that's both the writer and the characters saying that. He has, apparently, always been evil, and all it took was power for his true self to come out.

This does not jive with any of his characterisation prior to this point. Don't believe me? Let's deep dive.

Hank McCoy was born in Dunfee, Illinois to two very normal human parents. His mutation was apparent from the moment he was born, due to his father taking an enormous dose of radiation after an accident at the nuclear power plant he worked at, and while it would occasionally raise an eyebrow, he was able to hide what he was for the first 15-17 years of his life (Marvel ages are vague, but Hank is usually portrayed as the oldest of the O5, so we'll just say he was 17). He was recruited for the X-Men by Charles Xavier after his parents were taken hostage by a Z-list supervillain called the Conquistador, who wanted Hank to steal components from his father's place of work.

I should note that already, pre-X-Men, Hank did not believe in giving obvious supervillains nuclear power plant components, and gave the Conquistador a box full of flashbangs that disoriented him and his goons before defeating them in a fight. He did the right thing, at potential great personal cost to him and his parents, whom he loves very much.

Xavier then proceeded to step in, and, depending on the continuity, wiped the minds of everyone Hank had ever loved of the memory of him, so as to keep him 'safe,' or wiped the mind of Hank's first love, a girl called Jennifer Nyles, who is consistently depicted as being the woman who encouraged Hank to step out of his shell and do something with his obvious natural physical and intellectual gifts. Either way, this quite irritated Hank, and mere hours after he had put on his X-Men uniform, he was already about to fight the Professor over an egregious breach of mental privacy and security. But because he believed in what the Professor espoused, he let it slide.

It's worth noting that this mindwipe was seemingly undone later, because there are comics released both before and after Mike Carey's Origins issue that depict Hank having a deeply loving relationship with his parents. This will be important for later.

Now, a lot of people love to point to Uncanny X-Men #8 as the first evidence that Hank has always been a supervillain in disguise, and while I think it's a little egregious to point to any issue of any 60s comic book and say that anyone acts in a way that is sensible, moral, or decent, it's worth noting that the act in question, dialling up Unus the Untouchable's powers to a point where he can't control them, is in direct response to Unus attempting to defeat/kill the rest of the X-Men, or at the very least, hand them over to Magneto (who, let's not forget, in the 60s was a homicidal maniac happy to nuke entire countries). Is the response of threatening Unus with a slow death by starvation disproportionate? Yeah, it is.

Scott and the rest of the X-Men seem completely fine with it.

So, now you have to ask yourself - do we accept the morality of the time, and assume that Hank was basically justified to do what he did, to save his team and stop a dangerous mutant, or do we judge him for acting like a supervillain would, and thus everyone else on the team is fine with it? Iunno. That's a personal judgement. It's 60s X-Men, it's shit. I basically hardly regard it as canon, and given that any time anyone comes on to the Reddit board looking to start X-Men gets waved away from starting there, it clearly isn't regarded as very well written, is it? Maybe we regard it as a point for him to grow past? After all the very next issue, Cyclops starts a fight with the Avengers over jack fuck nothing, just because Professor Xavier told him to, and he clearly outgrew that.

All right, so let's speed forward a little bit. Hank's been an X-Man for around 3 years when he gets a job with the Brand Corporation, a scientific research company in Long Island. People love to bring up the fact that it's a subsidiary of Roxxon, who are notoriously evil, or that it has its own nefarious plans going on, but we don't judge people who work at Cat Chow for the fact that Nestle is fucking evil, do we? Hank didn't know. He was a 20 year old scientist with budding aspirations of helping the world in ways he couldn't with the X-Men. So, what was he researching?

Now, this is where we get into a bit of a sticky wicket, because this has been retconned to hell, but in the original version of events, set in the early 1970s, Hank is working as a scientist at Brand when he finds out that the Secret Empire want to steal his research into genetic mutation. Understandable thing for him to want to research, given his father's accident and his own obvious mutation, and an understandable thing for the Empire to want to steal, especially given what his research had resulted in.

In the process of Hank's research, he manages to isolate the chemical/hormonal extract that causes mutation - naturally occurring, it's also the basis for MGH, or Mutant Growth Hormone, which later becomes used by humans all around the world to obtain temporary mutant powers. But this can't be attributed to Hank, especially since he goes to great efforts to destroy all of his research, rather than let it fall into the hands of spies.

Now, this is the point that everyone likes to point to as the moment that Hank reveals his true colours, as a true mad scientist, a Jekyll hiding a Hyde - except that even just hours after his mutation, even in the midst of a rage at his own stupidity, Hank attacks Professor Maddicks, one of the Empire spies, and tries to kill him. He has him dead to rights, he's strangling him, it would be easy.

He stops. He can't bring himself to do it.

It's worth noting that Hank already starts to show signs of a marked personality change here. Gone is the long winded, stuffy, Superman curled Beast of the 60s - now we have the grey furred Beast of the 70s, soon to turn blue due to the limitations of comic book printing. He cuts himself off from the X-Men, starts to fall into depressive slumps and fits of mania, which is a personality pattern he falls into regularly, leading to a lot of people, including myself and Grant Morrison, to consider Hank bipolar. Obviously, here, it's exacerbated by his mutation and his extreme circumstances, but it's something he comes back to, again and again. It also explains why he decides to attack Iron Man, also investigating Brand, and nearly kills him.

It's also worth noting that this is the first appearance of the Beast - not just Hank's codename, his mutation has now given him an animal bloodlust that he struggles to keep control of, not unlike Wolverine. This is something to keep in mind because it helps frame Hank's self-hatred, which is often brought up but not really examined as a character trait, and especially later on, it becomes clear that Hank hates himself for a good number of reasons.

For one, he makes dumb, impulsive decisions, usually with the best of intentions, and he chews himself out for one he made already, turning himself into a furry monster. For another, he hates the part of himself that wants to hurt people. To call forward many, many years into the future, Hank doesn't believe in the law of the jungle. He believes in art, and literature, and music. He believes in humanity. He desperately wants to maintain his own, and he hates his mutation because it literally makes him less human every time, it makes his impulses harder to control, it makes him dangerous - and oh, it does make him dangerous.

And here's the thing. Beast nearly kills Iron Man (or at least, he thinks he has, Mastermind is in play), and the moment he realises what he's done, he screams in anguish and runs away, hating himself. "Humans can't catch me there." He believes himself to be less than human - not because he's a mutant, but because he regressed to animal behaviour and thinks he's killed someone. What a monster, right? What a villain!

"During that fight, I saw his face up close - and got a hint of what's behind it. I saw a soul in torment - and I can't play God with that."

All right, so now we have to take a sideways trip, and go to X-Men Unlimited vol 2 #10, which depicts Hank going home to his parents right after he turned grey. It's honestly a kind of hard read, because if the Beast's rampage was his mania ramped up to eleven, this is his depression ramped up to twelve. He staggers through the streets like a ghost, unwilling to let anyone see what he looks like. "I could have been someone, Jennifer. A lonely high school kid with big, big fears and big, big dreams, I could have done something really wonderful. I could have become anyone, done almost anything. But now, Jennifer, now just look at me."

The story is called Ghost in the Graveyard, and it's aptly named because this is the moment Hank grows into who he's truly meant to be. His ego, which drove him to consume his research and nearly kill, is dead. He believes he is worthless, he believes he's fit only to flit between the waking moments of the living when they aren't looking. "What would you think of me if I was to tell you how terrified I am of everything right now, Jennifer?"

He saves his hometown, incidentally. Even while sleeping for days, depressed, barely eating, he still has enough curious spirit and intelligence to work out that the radiation coming from the bodies of people who worked in the same plant as his father has contaminated the water table, the soil, even the townsfolk. Jennifer tells him they should go to the newspapers, and he tells her he can't. He can't bear to. He can't bear to be seen. He reveals his appearance to her, and she tries to kiss him softly on the forehead, but he still can't bear it. He runs.

"Perhaps, then, a ghost is nothing more than a memory. A memory of who we once were, before we become what we must."

And this is the moment that Hank McCoy decides to run back to New York and join the Avengers.

Out of a moment of sheer despair, out of a moment of shame and guilt, out of a moment of self-hatred so deep he can barely get out of bed, he grasps onto hope, and the desire to do good, and he does it. He goes to New York, and he decides he's going to be a good man. And he is. He's a very good man.

He saves the Avengers from the Stranger at his team tryout. He becomes a master of disguise so adept he passes himself off as the President of the United States and gives a speech that makes the Squadron Supreme question their own spurious morality. He saves Henry Pym's life from a super-microbe. He's almost singlehandedly the reason that Patsy Walker becomes Hellcat, a storied superhero in her own right. He's the one who reaches out to Simon Williams, Wonder Man, former villain, and becomes his best friend in the whole world. He becomes the third mutant Avenger (technically first, depending on Wanda and Pietro's current genetic status), and the first X-Man to cross over. He becomes one of the most popular, celebrated, and beloved mutants on the planet.

Yet, he still cares enough for his friends that the moment the X-Men need him, even though they don't think to call him, he puts it all at risk. He catches the Hellfire Club's police call during the middle of the Dark Phoenix Saga, wipes the tapes, and abandons his post as a prestigious Avenger, a position Cyclops says he loves . . . to be with his original team. He's integral to them standing a chance against her, fashioning the diadem that immobilises Jean and gives Cyclops and Xavier the chance to shut away the Dark Phoenix for a short time - enough that Jean, or the Phoenix, or whatever is walking around in that story, can put together a plan to deal with herself.

He gets zapped to an alien spaceship, and the first damn thing he does is make a Wizard of Oz joke, then he calls Lilandra out for lack of due process.

Throughout the 70s and 80s, Hank becomes one of the most popular heroes in-universe, instantly recognisable and on first name terms with almost every hero. He goes through his hardships. His own mother struggles with his mutation, calling him a freak in a moment of despair, only to realise that no matter what he looks like, he's still her boy - still the man who throws himself in the direct path of Professor Power's attack to save a child.

One of my favourites is Avengers 209. Hank's girlfriend is poisoned by a Skrull, and he's forced to go back in time and fetch the two halves of the Resurrection Stone back to save her. One of the pieces is in the hands of a concentration camp prisoner in 1945, who keeps using it to try and hold on to his dead family, and Hank breaks down into sobbing tears as he begs in Yiddish for the man to please let go and be at peace. His heart breaks for a man he's never met because his pain is so mighty and so vast and it's so damned unfair.

But even when he has the Resurrection Stone in his hands, and he can use it to save Vera, he destroys it instead, rather than give it to the Skrull and risk the power being in any one man's hand. He puts his own wants and desires to the side, and hopes that another man smarter than him can save Vera, who's put in suspended animation and later saved by Daimon Hellstrom. Hank joins the Defenders at around this point, and goes through quite a bit, including quite the humbling as he realizes that he may be cock of the walk, but he's not yet a leader - or maybe never a leader.

One of the accusations I've seen aimed at Hank is that he resents Cyclops for being made leader of the X-Men, and I honestly don't see where this comes from, but it's not something I think has any truth to it. Hank almost actively avoids leadership where he can, because he knows he can't make hard decisions like who to leave behind, who to let die, who to hurt. Indeed, the one time we see him lead the X-Men, it's in Grant Morrison's New X-Men, where the strain of it causes him to break down and turn to Kick just to keep going. X-Club, a team of his creation, is barely in its infancy before he leaves, and it's pretty clear that Beast just . . . doesn't, care, about being a leader. He knows he's not good at it. He knows he can't inspire like Captain America. He knows he can't strategise like Cyclops. He knows that.

It's also at this point that Hank is called out in public for not doing enough for mutants, coasting on his celebrity and acting the clown - and he takes on the criticism. He becomes more politically active, forming an advocacy group. As we learn later on in Secret Avengers, he also becomes fast friends with a secret mutant politician by the name of Leonard Gary, and he's present at multiple meetings of Congress where Lenny blocks Senator Kelly's anti-mutant legislation. Way later on, he helps Lenny push through workers rights laws during Fear Itself, and makes sure that he can give a speech inspiring the nation at a time when they needed it most.

Now we move on to X-Factor, where Hank has his ups and downs, but it's significant that it starts with him being publicly discriminated against by no less than 15 universities for his visible mutation. His response? To call them a bunch of racists, strip off his clothes, and tell them to go hang. He doesn't descend into self-pity, he gets angry and embarrasses them the only way he knows how. But it's interesting, because Hank starts the series wanting to teach, and in a way, he gets to do precisely that. Enter young mutants Fire Fist, Boom Boom, Skids, Wiz Kid, Artie Maddicks, Leech, and Rictor.

Rictor is the kid that Hank becomes closest to. He teaches him to read, encourages him in learning how to use his powers, plays with him - when his intelligence is reduced by a quirk of mutation, he's still aware and good enough that he attacks someone scaring Julio. He fucks up a ton in this series, especially with Boom Boom, with him and Iceman being downright dicks to her, and there's no real excuse for it - but it's kind of important that Hank wants to learn to teach, and he has to learn. He's not immediately good at it. He softens. He gets better. In fact, in an alternate universe not dissimilar to 616, Forge remarks that no-one was quite as patient and as good a teacher as Hank.

Then we come to the 90s, where Hank is faced with his biggest challenge yet - the Legacy Virus - and his biggest moral failing yet - Threnody. Now, this is where I kinda have to call out the Cerebrocast, because there's this narrative that Hank is an Avenger narc who will sell mutants down the river at the drop of a hat, and I'm fairly certain it stems from the moment when Hank surrenders Threnody over to Sinister.

It's not a great look, tbh. I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't touch Sinister with a thirty foot barge pole. I certainly wouldn't leave a vulnerable woman with him. But Sinister is an excellent manipulator, and he plays Hank like a fiddle here. He points out that Hank won't cross certain moral and ethical boundaries. "Admitting it, and despising the choice are the first steps toward changing the indecision that has ruled Xavier's roost of late." Sinister is very canny about playing Hank's fear of inferiority, of not being good enough to save everyone, of not living up to his potential, against him. It's also worth noting that Rogue and Iceman don't seem to disagree with Hank's decision, and while I believe he's acting as field leader here, these are not people who would let something like an 'order' stop them from doing what they feel is right.

It kills Hank to do this. He feels dirty, unwashed, like a piece of shit on humanity's shoe, for doing this. He risks Infectia's - or rather, Josephine's - powers infecting all of them with the Legacy Virus she's dying of, because he needs to do something human, something good, something compassionate, or else all he's left with is the bad. "Henry McCoy holds her, tears flowing freely, not just for the loss of another life, but for what Infectia's death has meant to him. For in granting her last wish, Hank contradicted the scientist in himself for the sake of the man."

What a villain, right?

It's also worth noting that we see Threnody again, in X-Men #34. She's lucid, in control of her powers, vibrant. "Threnody, dear lass! I am both pleased, relieved, and - I must confess - a bit surprised to see you so lucid? No offence meant, of course." "And none taken, Dr. McCoy. When we first met, I was rather a headcase, wasn't it? I want you to know, Doctor, that going with Sinister was the best thing that could have happened to me."

Hmmmmm.

"I've thought about you and worried quite a bit over the decision we made to allow Sinister to take you with him. Seeing you here and doing so well, rather uplifts my spirits - but it beggars the question, why do you stay?" "Dr. McCoy. You're sweet. But isn't this a better life than the one I had?"

HMMMMMMMM.

"Thren, I'm concerned about you. You seem to be playing a very dangerous game here. I cannot in good conscience allow you to stay here and play in this danger zone any longer." "You have no choice, Hank. There's knowledge and glory [here] . . . and I want that, too."

HMMMMM???

All right, whatever, let's keep it moving, on to the point where Hank undergoes his most drastic change yet.

It's the year 2001. Hank is on the X-Treme X-Men team, and they're searching for Destiny's diaries foretelling the future. Putting himself in harm's way to try and save Psylocke's life, telling her to go on and leave him, he's forced to watch as Vargas kills her - and poses her on top of his own fatally wounded body for the rest of the team to find. Barely hanging on to life, he sits in a Spanish hospital room, until Sage decides to take matters into her own hands.

"But despite your appearance and the name they call you I will assume you are a man and not a beast . . . and that you have a soul - !"

"He has a soul, padre. Bright and shining as the stars."

She jumpstarts the next evolution of Hank McCoy, and he becomes feline. He loses a finger on each hand. His animal instincts explode into the forefront of his brain. His hormones are blazing. His brain is on fire. He's doing the best he can to cope, but it's - hard. Yet he still finds it within himself to be there for others first of all. He mentors Beak, serving as an example of a physical mutant who's made something of himself. He tries to counsel Scott and Jean through their ailing marriage. He reaches out to Emma, and they become fast friends. Meanwhile, Genosha burns, students are killed, and Cassandra Nova rips him to pieces and picks on those fears of devolution that have been skirting in the back of his mind for decades, bringing them right back to the front of his mind.

"Remember when you looked almost human in the mirror? Then it started. The fall from man to ape, from ape to feline. Poor ugly Henry McCoy. There's no place for you in ANY mutant future. You're a devolver! Zoo animal. Stumbling backwards down the tree of life."

This, coupled with Trish Tilby's decision to break up with him over allegations of bestiality from her coworkers, shatters his psyche, and he arguably never recovers until his body changes again in All-New X-Men. He covers up his body almost all of the time, he overdresses in human clothes and uniforms that are a stark contrast to his old X-shorts, he becomes more verbose, more mature, more bipolar, more depressed, more lonely. And yet, even through all of this, with the help of his friends, especially Jean Grey, he starts to recover. He starts to become more like his old self.

In Astonishing X-Men, he even starts to show a bit more skin and fur as time goes on and he gets further away from Cassandra Nova's attack. And then it gets worse. The mutant cure. "I used to have fingers, a mouth you could kiss." Cassandra Nova, living on in his friend Emma Frost's guilt, attacks him again, and pushes him further, causing him to feast on human flesh and nearly kill students. Pushing him further down the tree of life. And not only that, but he has to come face to face with the ghost of one of his greatest failures, that should have been his greatest success.

Roll it back to 2001. Just before the whole X-Treme X-Men thing, Hank manages to piece together a Legacy Virus cure, using fragments of his own research and Moira MacTaggert's - but he immediately regards it as a failure, not because it doesn't work, but because it would require a mutant to metabolise it and kill themselves in order for it to be released into the atmosphere. Hank regards the cost of one life to be too high, and locks the cure away - but not securely enough that Colossus can't get at it and use it anyway.

Colossus dies because of Hank, and it kills him inside. When he matches the mutant cure sample to Piotr's DNA sample, it mortifies him. It shames him. It deadens him. No good deed ever goes unpunished. Even while Scott and Emma are faffing around with relationship problems, Hank is quietly wallowing because this is his fault. He killed Piotr.

Well, he didn't. But he might as well have, right? He put the 'gun' in his hand.

But then we get to Abigail Brand, and man is this dynamic just Hank as hell. She's a government fist in green haired body suited form that doesn't care about your feelings, he's a blue furred idealist who constantly blames himself for everything and can do nothing but feel. They connect. Not because they're both awful people . . . but because they see in each other something that they like. For Hank, it's something base - she finds him sexually attractive, not in spite of but because of his mutation, and honestly, at this point? Being fetishised sounds kind of nice to Hank. For her?

She wants someone to keep her honest. Someone who will question her decisions. Someone who does nothing but question her decisions, in fact, because she fucked up, and she needs someone to call her out on her bullshit. Hm. Almost sounds like there's a human being behind those green shades.

More on this later.

Because we've started to reach the point where I'm told Hank's descent into villainy has started, and quite frankly, I'm not seeing it. He got sadder? He got more lonely (yes, the cat story happened, it's tragic and embarrassing, move on)? But villainous? "I always saw him as vulnerable," said Grant Morrison. "The thing about Hank McCoy is that he was always presented as the loquacious, happy-go-lucky character and then he became a little darker when [he turned into] the furry Beast, but then he became happy again in Avengers. Basically, I'm looking at this bipolar kid. It's not so much that he's a villain; he just falls into bad situations and that makes him more human."

If people mean Here Comes Tomorrow, then I invite you to read that story again and remember that Hank is only really present in maybe eight panels of that story. The rest of the time it's Sublime piloting his body, and Hank has nothing to do with it. You might as well blame anyone ever possessed by Malice for what they did while under her influence.

But anyway.

The Decimation.

What a time for mutant kind. 198 mutants left, and falling. And everyone is looking to Hank McCoy for answers. He'll do almost anything to get them . . . right? In comes Endangered Species by Mike Carey, wherein Hank scours the corners of the Earth and gets his hands dirty trying to find a way to kickstart the mutant race again. He consorts with villains, he exhumed corpses, he nearly kills a drug dealer who wants fresh MGH from him and Bishop's bodies. He's on very thin ice, and in danger of cracking. He is, quite literally, facing his darkest impulses.

Enter Dark Beast.

Now, Dark Beast has been a thing since the mid-90s, and honestly, I kind of love the guy because he's so incredibly and over the top evil - but I also kind of hate him because his very existence seems to make people think that Hank always had evil inside of him, that he was just born that way. How very Graydon Creed, to believe that evil is something people are born to be rather than something that people do or become. The truth is that Dark Beast was born into a world completely different from Hank's, and while we don't know the exact divergence point for him, X-Men Unlimited vol. 1 #10 provides us with some clues - namely, that he never knew his parents.

Hank's incredibly loving, incredibly guilty, incredibly proud parents.

The parents that Dark Beast, violent psychopath, mutant supremacist, literal killer of children and Age of Apocalypse's own Dr. Mengele . . . couldn't bring himself to kill, because they loved Hank McCoy so much, and on some level, Dark Beast recognised that. Felt afraid of it. Felt weakened by it. Felt infuriated by it. Had to kill a random passerby just to feel more like himself. Because they were just so damned good, and maybe if he'd had parents like that, maybe?

It's also worth noting that Dark Beast, both here in the 90s, and later in Endangered Species (2008), points out that Hank isn't him. "I told you when we started on this that we'd have to think the unthinkable, Henry. I knew you'd let me down. But I didn't think you'd reach your limits this quickly. [...] You're fighting for the future of your species. Did that slip your mind? It's the only fight that matters, Henry. It's the war in which nature enlists every last one of us. And you're a deserter."

Hmmm.

Where have I heard that before.

So, Hank gives up. He stops searching for a cure, because one doesn't exist - or if it does, it requires a moral sacrifice that he isn't capable of. He disappoints mutant kind, and it won't be the last time. He fails to find answers in 1906 San Francisco, he fails to keep the faith at Utopia, he fails to stop things from escalating at a demonstration and ends up captured by Osborn - and Dark Beast. What a pathetic sack of crap, right? How dare he fail. He should be more like Cyclops.

"We make the choice for ourselves. And we have to live with the consequences afterwards."

"I'll live with it."

"I said we. I need to live with it."

Hmm.

"Sometimes in war you have to do things that you hate. Things you can't even bear to think about. This is one of those times. [...] I'm not making that choice for any of you. If you have any doubts about what we're about to do, stand out of the line. No one will blame you or question you. Ever."

Hmmmmm.

"All's well that ends well, Scott?"

"Looks that way from here. Why? Something on your mind?"

"Something, yes. The fact that you decided to use the Legacy Virus before you asked me if I had a working antidote."

"Your conscience is one of the things I value about you, Hank. Really. Never stop challenging me on that."

HMMMMMMMM.

#CyclopsWasRight?

But whatever, let's keep moving on. Utopia's X-Force happens. It's bloody. It's messy. It's grim. Hank doesn't approve. Scott tries to keep him on side, but it's not easy. Eventually, it reaches a boiling point. Hank decides he can't stay anymore, because he's not effective in his current capacity. Scott doesn't need him anymore, he needs more guns and soldiers and mutants, and Hank can't make those anymore. He deserts. What a piece of shit, caring about morals at a time like this. What a traitor. Oh, it's also worth noting that before he died, Kurt found out about X-Force, and was on the verge of quitting the X-Men, just like Hank. Just a sidenote, by the way.

Now, I believe in fairness, and I don't believe in whitewashing Hank's actions, especially when he wouldn't want me to, so it's only fair to bring up the Ghost Box laser strike and the Secret Avenger nuclear bomb that Hank constructs. Clear examples of the slow erosion of his moral fibre on his way to becoming a villain.

Or he feels massively guilty, sickened, and disgusted about what he had to do, while both times, the leader that he tries his best to believe in and follow tells him not to lose sleep over it. Except, Hank does. Because that is the kind of character Hank is.

Hank McCoy is a "superheroic overcompensating altruist [...] perfectly nice people who think the universe is full of perfectly nice people." Hank McCoy is Scott Summers' "biggest brain and [his] oldest friend. Moment comes you have to take action, I'll never question it." Hank McCoy is "the most hard working, brilliant and heroic [person] I know." Hank McCoy is "a name well known in the great game of worlds. Others yous have done this before [...] simply evacuate this world, and then destroy it completely," rather than risk the destruction of two. Hank McCoy is "no killer [...] and no force, however great, could make you kill."

Hank is the man who reaches out to villains, and tries to help them. He did it with Wonder Man. He did it with Emma Frost. He did it with Infectia. Hank is the bleeding, dying heart of the X-Men. He believes in second chances. He believes in art, and literature, and music.

He doesn't believe in the law of the jungle.

I'd also like to point out, that even though he was called a traitor, and met with a frosty reception by the other X-Men when he asked for their help, he still came when they called for medical aid. He still held out hope that he and Scott would reconcile. He was one of the few people to look at the Phoenix Five and remember who they were before they got power, and believe that they could possibly control it. Even after Scott kills the Professor, even though Hank is furious with Scott, even though Scott literally says, "I've done abominable things. I don't ask for forgiveness. I don't deserve it. [...] But I'd do it all again"?

I guess you could read this a few different ways. Is Hank just pushing Scott out forcefully? Is he gentle? Is he squeezing his shoulder in a moment of what could almost be comfort? I don't know. I kinda think it's the latter. I think the best of Hank where I can.

"Thank god, Hank. You're alive. I was lost. I thought I killed y - "

Hank is still a man that Scott Summers wants to be alive, because Hank is good. Yeah, he can be FUCKING ANNOYING, and he can be hypocritical, and he can be an asshole, and he can be flawed, and he can be a nuisance, and he can be insufferable, but he is good.

Enter Brian Michael Bendis.

This is the point where Hank's character wrecks and arguably never recovers, to be honest. It's not just the small details. It's not just stupid things, like 17 year old Hank apparently being a medical doctor, or modern day super genius ultra mechanic Hank being incapable of putting a motorcycle back together for the sake of a joke. It's not even the egregious things, like Uncanny X-Men #600 and All-New X-Men #25 being a double header of literally everyone in the universe kicking Beast in the shins because Bendis wanted to write teenage Jean Grey as just the worst. It's just a fundamental misunderstanding of the character.

"Somewhere along the way you convinced yourself that your brilliance allows you the right to do whatever you want whenever you want to do it."

I'm sorry, fucking what?

If you're this far deep in this thesis - and it is a thesis, and I don't apologize for that - do you think this is the same character? This man who is obsessed with consequences, obsessed with guilt, obsessed with being perfect, obsessed with controlling himself, obsessed with morality . . . is convinced that he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants to do it? He learned this lesson 40 years ago! Beast is not like this!

Now, Bendis' Beast might be like this. But I have to ask you, reader, who presumably frequents comic book boards, or Reddit, or Tumblr tags, or Twitter . . . is Bendis the guy you go to for thoughtful, evocative, well considered characterisation? Is he on the level of Mark Waid, or Al Ewing, or Jonathan Hickman, or Grant Morrison, or Louise Simonson, or Marjorie Liu, or Rainbow Rowell, or Kelly Sue DeConnick? Is he known for respecting what came before and creating a throughline of character and continuity?

No, he fuckin' aint.

He's known for Bendis-speak. He's known for ignoring continuity. He's known for big shake-ups of established status quos that often leave characters in the doghouse for decades. Yeah, he can write some good comics, but I just - why is this man's characterisation of Beast considered the definitive one? Is the voice that shouts the loudest really the most articulate? Go ask a fan of the Scarlet Witch, or X-23, or Jon Kent, or GOTG fans about his entire run on that comic.

Beast wrecks here, and he never recovers. He loses his entire character development track about his mutation because it got changed. He loses his entire dynamic with Abigail. Everything good about 00s Beast is just gone, and there's nothing left to replace it but failure. Not really. Every now and then, someone tried to steer him back on the right path, get back to a more thoughtful, less dipshit Hank McCoy. A+X #12 by Christos Gage, and Uncanny Avengers by Jim Zub, both try the same trick, 4 years apart, having Hank reunite with his best friend Simon Williams and drink, and reflect on what's happened.

Each time, there's another crossover event that Hank has to answer for, because now Beast is the designated load. It happened in All-New X-Men, it happened in Black Vortex, it happened in IvX. It was just easy. He was never a guy with a massive fanbase, and all the casual fans filtered away as domino after domino falls. Every time, HOW DID I BECOME THIS?

Iunno. No-one seems to give enough of a fuck to answer the question. The real answer is that the writers need plot to happen, and, well.

Who cares if Beast is ruined? Well, I think Matthew Rosenberg cared a fair bit. I think Max Bemis cared quite a lot. I care, probably too much.

There are tons of little fun appearances here and there, mostly scattered across other books, that are more reminiscent of the Hank that used to be. Mariko Tamaki, in her last X-23 run, used him really nicely, having him take pictures of Laura and Gabby bonding, helping Laura run down immoral scientists (HA!), being a big man with a bigger bow tie. Being "the nerd I trust, so I like having him around," says Laura.

Hmm.

Well.

I have two points left to make. One? It is a stone cold, actual fact that we go from warm, intelligent, thoughtful, loved Beast, to Percy's narcissistic, cold, and genocidal war criminal in the space of maybe ten issues. The change was not gradual, it was abrupt. Read almost any comic prior to Krakoa featuring Beast in it, and he does not sound or act the same. Read the dialogue for X-Force #1 through 9, and tell me you can really tell that that's Beast.

Tell me that's the Hank McCoy that loves his human parents.

There's a reason everyone was speculating for the longest time that it was Dark Beast, or something else was afoot, because he sounds wrong. There's no jokes, no warmth, no charm, no energy. He's a slow, lifeless cadaver of a character, plodding along his course to become a Bond villain.

Two? There was a story to be told here. Hank has definitely toed the line a good few times before. Crossed it less times, but he did. Each time, it cost him. Each time, it hurt him. Each time, it left a scar upon his soul. Each time, maybe it got a little easier, but I don't genuinely think that's the case. I think that Hank McCoy is the kind of guy for whom it never gets easier to hurt people. The building blocks were there for a story where that man has to keep doing it, again and again, cutting away pieces of himself, because it's what Krakoa needs.

But that story would require sympathy, and I don't think that Ben Percy, "People who think that Beast is loveable have only read a small selection of comics," really has any sympathy for Beast. I think he finds him annoying. I think he finds him contemptible, and up himself. I think that Ben Percy believes that Beast is cold-hearted, cruel, endlessly self-justifying, unfunny, shortsighted, and overall, a bastard. I don't believe that was ever the case.

It makes me sad that the fandom believes that was ever the case.

His character was assassinated. It was assassinated back in 2013, and it's been being assassinated every month since 2019. The version of Beast that existed from 1981 to 2012 will be gone, dead - literally killed - when the classic version of him comes back at the end of X-Force. I liked the 1981-2012 version a lot. The version from 2012 to 2018, I liked a lot less. The version from 2019 onwards?

Don't go off vibes. Read the panels. Tell me what you think. Is that the same character?

Now we come to the end of my thesis. I feel like I've covered most of the main points here, but TL;DR?

Ben Percy's Beast doesn't work as a continuation of Hank's character, because his version of the character is an idiot. He is cruel, unfunny, lacking in any humanity, inherently evil, moustache twirling, disrespectful. He is without nuance. He is Mister Sinister in a blue fur coat without any of the camp.

The fact that people will go on Twitter or Reddit and say that they prefer this Beast over the old one makes me want to fucking spit because fuck you. Fuck you that you think that this travesty, this half-formed mish mash of Bond villain tropes and fat shaming stereotypes, is in any way better than what we had. Grow up. Read better comics. I hope to god you mature, because fuck, man.

Ben Percy's Beast doesn't work as a villain, either, because he's simultaneously incompetent, and yet constantly given karma houdinis that have no basis in his ability, only in the plot. Any semblance of grounding in the idea of 'necessary evils' is so fucking amateurish and put to paper with no real belief in it. Percy just thinks Beast is an asshole, it's as simple as that.

And you know what makes me feel vindicated? You know what makes me laugh?

Marvel really don't give a fuck about this version of Beast. They really just do not care and I get the distinct impression people can't wait for it to roll back. Don't believe me?

How come Nightcrawler is apparently gossiping with Hank in issues of She-Hulk that take place in the Krakoan era?

How come Hank is still appearing in Avengers and X-Men variant covers as his traditional, heroic self?

How come Marvel Age #1000, a self-styled "CELEBRATION OF THE MARVEL AGE OF COMICS," had an X-Men story that was about the O5 - and yet, really, it was about Jean and Scott falling in love, with Hank on the sidelines, gently nudging Jean in the right direction?

How come no-one appears to give a fuck that Beast, one of the pillars of the superhero community, killed a small country?

In-universe, there is no explanation. This is 'Blade begging Captain America and the Avengers to help kill all the vampires' level of disconnect. It makes everyone involved look like a goddamn psychopath.

Out of universe, it's because no-one is interested in this story. If writers other than Ben Percy wanted a villainous Hank McCoy, they would just use Dark Beast, because he's substantially more entertaining and charismatic and enjoyable as a villain than Percy's edgelord Beast.

Ben Percy is 44 years old, allegedly. I wouldn't know that, judging by the level of maturity with which he handles his villains. If he intended to write a mutant Henry Kissinger, then he failed, because Kissinger was pure evil, but he also, you know, made sense.

Percy's Beast is trash.

I write him on this blog with substantially more care and thought put into his character than Ben Percy ever could. Because even though I'm not the one getting paid to do so, I'm the one putting in the work to make it make emotional sense. There's a story there. There's a compelling character there. If only Ben would have put the fucking work in.

Thank you for your question. :)

[yet-another-deanw-girl]

Chapter 20: Games

She knew for 15 years that this day would come. She knew her destiny had already been written. That her death had been foretold.

She knew she would have to stop him. She knew she would have to kill him. And she thought she was prepared for all of it. But the day she met him she realized how wrong she was…

Set in Season 10

Pairing: MoC!Dean x Female!OC

Warnings: the usual SPN, language

Episode mapping: After episode 17 of season 10 "Inside Man"

Note: The events of this story are following season 10 of Supernatural and are taking place between October 2014 and July 2015. I tried to make sure that all the references to weapons, tech, etc. are accurate with the time period.

AN: This is my first time writing a fanfic but the story has been in my head for too long and it just needed to get out. I hope you like it.

AN: English is not my first language, I apologize for any mistakes.

I put the keys of the Jeep on the library table in front of Sam. "I was serious. It's yours." I found the keys on the desk in my room last night after I was back in the bunker. Sam looks at me but before he can protest I say. "Just take it. It's more your size than mine anyways." I smile at him and I quickly change the subject. "I was thinking…" I start.  "You remember the legend of the three tribes?  From the book we had stolen from the museum…  About that hero, that was created, the heir of all three tribes, so he can protect the key locking the great evil spirit? If Cas is right and I was specifically created to defeat The Mark... It's like celestial bioengineering… You know…" I start walking back and forth in the room, trying to sort through my thoughts and to explain my line of thinking. Sam is looking at me with interest and listening to every word. "Maybe…" I continue. "If I take The Mark from Dean, I can resist it! Maybe I can control it! Maybe it will not affect me at all…" "No!" I hear Dean's voice behind me and I turn around. "Dean…" I try to reason with him.

GIF from Pinterest

"No!" He interrupts me. "Not happening!" "Dean, just listen to her! What she is saying… It makes sense…" "I said no, Sammy! I'm not risking it on maybes! I'll not allow someone else to take that burden so I can be free!" Dean leaves the library. "Dean!" Sam yells after him. "We are done discussing this!"

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Dean dragged us to some bar. Sam and I are sitting silently near the pool tables while for the last half an hour Dean has been flirting with a petite blond woman at the bar. She is gorgeous. Of course she is… Her short hair is framing her perfect face and she is smiling radiantly at him. I force myself to look anywhere else.  I do not want to see this…  There is no reason for me to give a shit what he is doing… I scroll through my tablet, Sam checking something on his laptop, avoiding each other. Our relationship has improved in the last week or so. He is not so cold and hostile towards me but we have nothing to say to each other. I shared my theory a couple of days ago, when Dean shut down the conversation. There is no point discussing it further. At least not out loud. Not until I have solid proof that I'm right. It's not like I can take The Mark from Dean forcefully. For the previous two days the keys of the Jeep kept showing on my desk and I continued putting them back on Sam's. He knew exactly why I had given them to him and he kept returning them, refusing to accept the inevitable end.  Not today. "Are you two nerds reading in a bar!" Dean asks, making his way back to our table and sitting between Sam and me. "No luck with the ladies tonight?" Sam asks playfully but I can feel him watching me with the corner of his eyes. Well… maybe I was not hiding my 'not caring about Dean's flirting with other women' as well as I thought. "Neah! Nothing of a sort!" Dean smirks. "I just want to spend some time with you two." He hugs as both over our shoulders and squeezes us tight to himself. We both grunt in unison before Dean releases us. "Do I have to use my super charm on you to make you stop scrolling on your tablet?" Dean asks as I continue reading through some old manuscript from The Order's archives.  The idea that The Mark will not affect me seems more and more probable. This thought occupies my mind and I focus all my attention on it, so tonight I'm even more distracted than usual. "Excuse me, miss!" Dean starts and I look away from my tablet, raising my eyebrow, waiting for the rest of his ‘super charm' to show. "It seems I have lost my number. Can I have yours?" I try and fail miserably to stifle my laughter but burst into giggles. Full blown giggles! "Oh my God! Don't tell me this is actually working!" "You will be surprised…" Sam mumbles not looking up from his laptop. "So… A game of pool?" Dean asks me with a mischievous smile. I rarely see him smile like that but when he does his impossibly green eyes are shining. "I don't play pool." I say, declining his offer and returning to my tablet. "Oh! Come on! I will teach you."  He smirks. "I bet you would like that, huh?" I smile at him and wink.  "Oh for God sake! Stop it! That's gross!" Sam complains and leaves for the bathroom. "Is this really working?" I smile at him. "Of course it is! Look at that face! I'm adorable! And don't try to deny it… it's working on you too!" He winks at me with a cocky smirk on his face. "Ah!" I make a gagging sound. Well… the truth is… he is adorable… especially tonight, when it seems he forgot that we are doomed and about to die. "Come on! I'll teach you!" Dean tugs on my arm. "I didn't say I can't play pool, I said I do not play pool."  His attitude is playing on my pride.  I really want to shut his mouth.  And I know that every time I do this I regret it after that because every time it takes me closer to him.  But it feels so good to see the look on his face when he realizes he had underestimated me again. And it seems like tonight he is not the only one wanting to forget about all the shit in our lives. "But I would kick your ass on darts any day." I smirk in return. "Oh, I would like to see you try." "You asked for it…" I say removing the rings from my fingers.

"Let's make it more interesting…" Dean says. "What about a bet?" "A bet?" I raise my brow. "Ok… How much?" "Oh, I don't want your money, princess… There are other things I want from you."  I huff at him for calling me 'princess' and he just smirks at me… again… "Dean! Stop with that stupid act already!" "Why?" He asks. "Don't tell me it is starting to work on you too!" Is he flirting with me for real?  No! He is not!  Don't start imagining things that are dangerous for your sanity!  He is just trying to annoy you! "Hah! In your dreams, Winchester!" "Ok then… If I win… I want a kiss." He smiles widely at me.  Okay…  He is definitely flirting with me… "A kiss? Really?" I laugh but my stomach clenches.  I can not afford this to happen!  No way!  Don't be stupid! Just back down! "How romantic?" I managed to answer channeling all the sarcasm in me to this sentence. "Be careful or you will become a Hallmark poster!" "Do you accept the bet?" I think for a moment.  Fuck!  I can not let this cocky son of a bitch think that I'm afraid of him!  He can not beat me anyway. "WHEN I win…" I start "I will drive the Impala for a week." His eyes widen. He definitely hadn't expected that. Got you! "You are not ever allowed near my baby!" "Ok…" I see my chance. "Then… you will consider my plan to pass The Mark to me… Do we have a bet? Or… you can back down…" I nudge him, going to take the darts from the board. "Driving it is… There is no way you can win anyway…" "What's your game?" I ask him. The confidence showing in my voice this time. This is my dominion… "Let's make it quick." He says. "501?" "Oh! Are you trying to make it easy for me?" I take my place on the line. "Exiting with a double sector at least?" I throw the three darts, hitting the triple 20 every time.  Dean gulps.  I write my score of 321 to go and pull out the darts from the board, handing them to Dean. "I mentioned my cousin, right?" I ask, smiling at his reaction. "The one I grew up with?" Dean nods. "Did I mention he was living in Ireland? And I was there every summer… pub hopping… playing darts…" Dean's eyes widened…

Dean is staying on the line, ready for his throw. If it is up to me, his last throw. I won the first game but Dean convinced me to play 2 of 3. He barely won the second one, opting for playing dirty and trying to distract me with every means necessary. Now we are in the last round of the final game. I need just 4 points, he needs 6.

Created with Microsoft Designer

He is trying to distract me with his bad pick up lines… There is no way I'm losing this game! I'm standing close to him… not too close like he does when it's my turn… but close enough that I'm able to stand on my tiptoes and blow a small gust of air to his ear at the exact moment he throws his dart… and he misses the board entirely. I grab the darts standing on the line. "If you only know all the things I want to do to you…" Dean whispers in my ear standing behind me, trying to distract me again. He is too close and a shiver goes through my spine.  A shiver I try to hide.  A shiver I try to ignore. Damn it! The fucking flirt game is starting to affect me! I throw my dart but it slips slightly in my fingers. It hits the board… the 2end sector… the double ring… I win! "Fuck!" Dean mumbles. "You cheated!" "Did I? I haven't done anything you haven't done yourself." I smile at him looking back through my shoulder. "I'm just better than you at any game." He spins me around and I take a couple of steps back until my back hits the wall. He matches my every step, keeping the small distance between us. "Dean…" I whisper. "I want my prize." His lips, just millimeters from mine, fire in his green eyes.  "A bet is a bet…" I protest but the breath is barely leaving my lungs. "You cheated…" "I won…" He is so close that I can see every freckle on his face.  His hands frame my face to keep me in place, his forehead pressed to mine. "I can not get you out of my head…" He murmurs against my lips.

Created with Microsoft Designer

"Please, Dean… Enough with the games for tonight…" I don't have enough oxygen in my lungs. "I tried… I really tried… But I can't stay away from you…" "Don't do this harder than it already is… Don't complicate it any further…" My words are just a whisper now. He is too close and I don't know how long I can resist this pull. "Harder?" Dean huffs, pulling a little away from me and I can breathe again. "Harder?! Do you know what this is doing to me? Ever since Metatron told me…"  He pauses and panic rises in my chest.  "Did you know?" He looks in my eyes, searching. "Know what?" I tried to lie.  How does Metatron know about it?  How does he know what the prophecy says?  How does he know that I will have to kill the only man I will ever love That I'm destined to fall in love with him? That I am already starting to… "You knew?! It's in the prophecy! Of course it is!" Dean hits the wall next to my head. "Why didn't you tell me? How can you hide something like this?"  I can almost lie to myself that the anger in his voice, in his eyes, is hiding the pain. I'm not that stupid! Yes, the prophecy says that I am supposed to fall in love with him… but to think that he can feel something too… is reckless and dangerous. I stopped believing in naive romantic bullshits years ago!  My heart is ice cold…  My heart is ice cold…  My heart is ice cold! "Why would you care?" My voice is ice cold. "How can you ask me this? Of course I would care! Of course I would want to know something like that! Did you even consider how I would feel about it? That I may…" "Oh my God! I said stop playing games with me, Dean!" I push him away and smile sadly but only for a moment before I scold my features to my perfectly blank expression - my carefully curated mask. "I know how you are! You were all over that blond just half an hour ago! And we both know she is not the first one. So don't try and lie to me. This is just a joke to you!" "No… I…" "It doesn't concern you anyway! This is not about you! In fact it has nothing to do with you!" I push him away from me again and start walking to the door. He grabs my arm but I twirl around calmly saying to him.  "I may have to do what they say… I may have to die how they say… but no 'higher power' says what I am supposed to feel!"  I'm cold…  Stone cold…  Ice cold…  "I'll deal with it when I need to. If I need to. Alone! And I will not bother you with it."

I walk out of the bar pulling out my phone. "Are you still in the States?" I ask my cousin when I hear his voice. "Hello to you too!" "So… Are you?" "Yes I am." "I need to get out of here… Do you need help?" "I actually do." "Drop me a location." I hang up and start the engine of my bike. Pieces of ice are stabbing my heart. I can not afford to feel this! I need some space from the Winchesters…  From Dean…  From my feelings for him that I desperately want to bury. Fuck!  I thought I killed that part of me years ago…  I'm ice cold…  I tried so hard to become the disciplined soldier that I know I need to be… I promised myself that this is not going to happen… that this part of the prophecy will not affect me… Fuck!  I just need to clear my head.  It's all just in my head! A prophecy tells me I should fall for someone and I'm just influenced by that knowledge and I'm starting to imagine feelings…  Yes!  That's it! Right!? I'm ice cold!

Created with Microsoft Designer

"What was that about?" Sam asks me when I sit back on the bar and slam my fist on it. She was so close… I had her so fucking close… "I'm not talking about it." "Dean, I know something is going on. You have been acting strange around her. I have never seen you like this before. You know you have to be careful with her… I can see you like her… But… You and her… It's not a good idea…" "It is not that simple…" I whisper with a sigh. "I… It's… She…" How can I explain to my brother the things I'm feeling when I'm around Emilia? The inexplicable pull, the confusion, the jealousy when she is speaking to someone else… The quiet in my head when she is around… The Mark staying silent for a moment… "She is my soulmate, Sammy." I finally breathe out the truth I was hiding for months. "Metatron told me she is my soulmate… And… And it turns out she knew about it this whole time! And she didn't care to mention it!" "Wait… what?" "Yeah… The Fates are some cruel bitches…" Sam looks at me with wide eyes. He is shocked, and that's understandable, but there is something more in his expression that I can't decipher… Relief? Like he finally found an explanation to something that was bothering him… "How sure are you that Metatron wasn't lying to you? He does that… a lot… you know." "He is not lying about this. I can feel it, Sammy." "But soulmates!?" "I can't explain it… But I can feel it… It's like this… I don't know… Like a constant pull to her… Like I can not get her out of my head… And when…" I hesitate for a moment but I decide I can't keep this a secret any longer… That I just need to say it out loud. "When she's around it gets… quieter…" "What gets quieter? The Mark?" I just nod. "And you are sure that she knows?" "Oh… she knows…" I can see the gears working in my brother's head. He is trying to figure out how to use this new information to save me. "Well… that explains a lot… But what does it mean exactly?" "I… I really don't know…"

Chapter 21 - Coming soon

||The Prophecy Series||

[chronotsr]

Pre-G1 Modules, part 4B - The Judge's Guild Roundup Completed

Oh. Oh we're still doing this? It won't end? Gods. At least we made it to 1978. Anyway, happy eclipse to every. Reminder: the people who run Judge's Guild now are full-on nazis, do not buy their books. Go hug your loved ones instead.

The Thieves of Fortress Badabaskor (1978)

Maybe I was too hard on the Prince Valiant-ass artstyle. It looks very proud for a bandit fortress, don't you think? The full color version that comes out later is even nicer -- it's the one you find on google images first. Anyway. Fort Badboybaskaur was founded by ''The Emperor of Glorious Doomfire''. It truly was the era of so-bad-its-good naming! The fort was built so that if raiding happened, the many small villages could congregate there for safety. Only, it turns out there was a red dragon underneath. And then that got resealed. And then an evil demigod took over. And then bandits took that over.

I read this section like five times and for the life of me I cannot find a prophesy here. They just kind of say it because it sounds cool. The prose in this hand out is, really really rough, it's a lot of proper nouns and moral history tropes -- empire becoming successful and spawning evil religion yada yada yada. The proper noun addiction is strong with this one, we get quite a few undefined proper nouns here. He's another classic: "Zanaaphic the All-King of the Spirit Universe". I have so many questions! None of which will be answered. "Angall of the Perpetual Void" Wow! Those are some neat nouns! The net effect, however, is there was a really skilled evil wizard who got confronted by a god, beat him, and by defeating him became a four-armed dragon-skinned bat-winged magical null. He does up to 16 pips of damage with his silly flails!

So the cover image is lying a little bit about the fortress. In both of the presented maps, there is no cool rampart that you have to slowly siege, there are mountains both in front and behind the fortress, and there are way more than three turrets. I am actually a little fond of this keep layout-wise, it's less cramped than the Keep on the Borderlands is. Naturally, it sits at the foot of Mount Deception.

It's a nice little fortress, no? I would recommend getting a modern copy of the map if it wasn't for the ownership sucking ass in an extreme way. Plus, having dungeons under your keep on the borderlands seems like a great idea, actually. Or, shit, having a rival keep on a rival borderlands sounds kinda rad. Anyway, the room by room is pretty rote. The exterior rooms are mostly just services you'd give to anyone walking in, but the real juicy stuff is all kept inside the mountain walls. We've got your usual suspects. Guard captain, bossman, bossman's terrible wife (and the wife is legally required to be evil because male writers), pawnbroker, human trafficker, tavernsssssss, gemcutter, blacksmith, et c. Some of the names are okay, "Hole in the Hill Inn" run by ogres was really funny to me, I would change them to hill giants to complete the joke.

The dungeon has an interesting conceit where there are some generic "alternate rooms" in the back of the book that come with a blank room number that you can swap if you dislike the default room contents. I'm really in favor of this mindset. I have thought for a while that it'd be kind of nice for adventure books to be shipped in some sort of editable capacity? Like if I wanna do open heart surgery on a floor of a dungeon, but I like the other 4 floors, it'd be nice to keep it in the original format instead of having the adventure book and then some loose-leaf with the changes penciled in. Tragically, the alt rooms are overwhelmingly just monsters in a room, with the outlier being a wererats with a little kidnapping scheme.

Underneath the fortress there are five levels, one is actually above ground level and in the cliff face behind the keep, and the third level leads to the surface via caves. Neat! I'm kind of imagining Gerudo Fortress here on a lot of levels. Here's a quick skim of the best contents:

There appears to be a little rat treasure hoard where the rats have to pay their dues to their little rat kings? What's going on here is kind of unclear to me, but I can't help but imagine one of the guards trained the rats to hide money in the walls for him and the ten rats with silver formation are a kind of animal-passcode.

A chest trapped with some sort of reverse truth serum -- it removes your ability to speak, see, or hear for a week if you open it without permission. Naturally, the chest is decorated with the three wise monkeys 🙈🙉🙊 (and a mysterious fourth monkey the text implies nothing about, maybe it's Sezaru? Curse of erectile dysfunction!)

The alarm system seems to be gong-based

Oh, I don't like this beholder at all. Ewwww! But also, why is this drawing here? There's no beholders in here? Is this some kind of silly trap for snooping players? In fact, most of the monster illustrations are…kind of just random monsters.

The treasury is booby-trapped to hell and back. We have a standard guillotine trap disarmed with a tile puzzle on the wall, a hell-hound guard dog, and the most prominent magical item is a necklace of strangulation. Rough break! Just go ahead and put all of the treasure on pressure plates with flame jets at that point.

A reverse gravity pit-trap -- you pull a book, you fall through a hole in the ceiling and then it traps you in the ceiling. It's just a pit trap at the end of the day, but way vivid!

A chair made of a dragon's arms and horn that will animate and attack you if you try to pry gems off it or attack anyone

Two wizards are having a battle over who gets to own a trained lizard that can sing and carry heavy loads. I understand guys. That lizard is worth it.

Under a sarcophagus is written "If you can read this, you're too close", as well as some explosive runes

The treasure hoard of a lost king, if you attempt to steal it, will turn into a treasure construct shaped like the king. Awesome!

"A similar cabinet on the north wall is labeled "For Future Imperialists". In the top drawer is a Gem of Brightness, the second is a pair of Bracers of Defenselessness, and in the bottom drawer is a pouch of Dust of Sneezing and Choking." I would fully lean in, make it a Cursed Gem of Brightness that you can't turn off, and put the Bracers in the top drawer if the goal is to prank an evil character into hurting themselves.

A reverse-vampire giant lizardfolk that consumes the unlife from undead. So, Tomb of the Lizard King got beat to the vampire-lizardfolk punch, I guess?

Large swaths of this dungeon genuinely feel randomly generated. The worst parts are about half of floor 2, 3, and about half of floors 4 and 5. It just feels like padding to me. And in true Judge's Guild fashion, there are treasure stores in the temple that are "instantly max your character" amounts of loot. Now I get that shares are a thing and you gotta pay your hirelings, but still, 1.5M gold represents like, even if you're a party of 10 you're still looking at instantly maxing a thief, shooting a fighter to level 8, and shooting a wizard to level 9. And there's no way you were at 0xp when you smuggled that statue out, that's going to be an instant max for just about anyone. The big reveal that I…guess you could conceivably puzzle out? Is that the dragons were nearby because they were minions of a dragon-king entombed under this fortress before it was built. A cool idea, that desperately needs more foreshadowing. The love clearly went into making those tombs cool, so if I was going to rip anything off from this module that'd probably be my second port of call.

Gen Con IX Dungeons (1978)

What a name, right? How come Tsojconth got a name and these dungeons didn't? Blatant favoritism. Well actually one of the two dungeons may as well be called the Halls of Grsk. And, wow, everything about the design notes are ominous. "Simplicity would be the prime requisite". So….does that mean this adventure is boring on purpose, Bob?

The adventure is split into two bits, the player-side info and the gm-side info, which…okay. Sure. The titular dungeon is set in the "Celtic mythos", whatever the fuck that means (Bob, the Celtic cultures covered almost all of Europe and parts of Asia. That phrase is meaningless!). TL;DR the old king's wizard went evil and killed the king, left no one to rule, and then went nuts and much later summoned a bunch of demons to protect his loot now that he's old and dying. The local wizard, Framschamsnaggle (seriously?) bullies you into raiding his tomb to get a staff back. There's a dragon in there and you were handed a teleportation amulet that will zip you out as soon as you get your hands on the staff.

Oh. Oh that's not good. That's a very not good dungeon layout. That's a very bad dungeon layout. And the contents are, as bad. I wonder if it was considered bad at the con itself? I couldn't find a single remarkable thing in this whole dungeon. It is neither weird, nor funny, nor clever, nor interesting. It's 30 random dungeon rooms in a row, with a rare trap that is practically randomized also.

The sole joy I can find in this module is this illustration, which looks like a shitpost.

The second round of the tournament (1st round eliminates) is set in a completely different place, which is more properly called the Halls of Grsk. Almost all of this area is also just, save or suck traps and monsters. There is one trap that's kind of classic and okay -- picking up the giant ruby locks all exits, many red herrings, room starts heating up like an oven. The solution is to smash the ruby, which instantly kills the heating element. It's not amazing (how are you supposed to guess it's a ruby? It behaves like a pressure plate trap but the ruby itself is contact-activated) but it's the least bad thing in here. The portal-that-eats-you prank in particular grinds my gears, the game communicates every possible thing to say it kills you, and by blind faith you go through and is the best solution. Picking up the fake secret item instantly kills you, because fuck you. The fakeout trap's sole hint is "why are there two normal doors on the north wall?" which, it's a points-based dungeon, they're going to assume it's for extra points. Also, the whole dungeon is a massive straight line in disguise. It's a wreck.

Actually, the whole scenario feels like a worse "Tomb of the Lizard King" in a lot of ways, down to the silly rhyme on the last page that gives you a critical clue about how to kill the undead baddie. In a sense it's also like Tomb of Horrors in that way, I guess, but the vibes are a lot more like Tomb of the Lizard King.

Damn it Bob, you made it boring on purpose.

Citadel of Fire (1978)

This is truly one of the dungeon covers of all time.

Is… is that The Golem? I hope Rabbi Loew is available. Or, maybe it's good that he's not in the module, because obviously this construct's creator is going to be evil in this module.

This is the least least imaginative of the Judge's Guild modules in this series. It is, simply a wizard's tower. If you have ever in your life read a wizard's tower module, you've read this one. The JG staples of constant slavery mentions continues with slave girls being in every single damn room of the towers. There's, not really much plot to go on either. There are wizards, the hill is good for magic, they are aligned with the goblins, go chop 'em up.

Sigh. Here's the memorable bits.

Nearly out the gate, we get one of those paragraphs that you would hope would be so obviously bad to the writers that they would second guess the decision. Why the actual hell did you stat out some 200 nearly identical goblins manually?

What is that and when do I get a bestiary entry for them? That's not a joke, the module never mentions what this is and now I want this Weresalazzle in my adventures.

The vague allusion to "Shabast", which are apparently a species of people who are intelligent clouds? But only sometimes.

A variety of pens for animals the wizards are working on, which include an Irish deer, a jackalwere, a baby lammasu, a giant slug named Skippy, some orcs, man-eating apes, an elephant, and a hydra

For…some reason there's a tavern on the 2nd floor of a dungeon. In the lightest defense of the module, at least the 2F has a surface access and no pre-programmed encounters between here and the tavern (random monsters thoooo). The owner sleeps with a new person every night, highly critical detail.

?????????????????????

OK so many rooms later there's a pyrohydra with a toothache. Mystery solved, that's why there's a magical dentist!

I hesitate to complain, but after multiple dungeons with 100k+ gold rewards, this dungeon's treasury having roughly 11,000 gold in it feels like an anticlimax. The fact that it's protected by that pyrohydra and electrified locks adds insult to injury.

This is a joke, right? That's your final floor? Anyway, this is just The Demon Floor. There is more treasure here than upstairs, which is a little strange given that the demon serves the wizard and not the other way around.

So on the whole, deeply shit. In conclusion, Early Judge's Guild leaves a lot to be desired. Next time we will -- wait, am I free? There's no more pre-G1 modules? I get to finally do TSR shit and leave this mire?

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS (edit: I was half-right -- there was one more pre-G1 module, but it was TSR!)

[silverspleen]

Reading the first Mercenary Librarians book for book club (Deal with the Devil by Kit Rocha), which is very funny, we usually do loose month themes and I'm guessing this month's theme was romance (I missed the reveal I was at ski week) because this is shelved in scifi but it's clearly a romance book, written by a romance author duo, it has that sort of particular world and character building and dynamic that romance novels do (this is not a bad this it's just very. Telling? The conventions of the genre you see) and is VERY spicy. But of course my stupid ass, who is a romance book reader, did that thing that I do literally every romance book series where I get super attached to the secondary slow burn couple who clearly is going to get together during a later book. Like uhuh yeah ok instant chemistry main books one couple suresure but tell me more about the two characters who are like. Staring longingly at each other and having meaningful moments but not touching due to their Tragic Backstories.

Like oh my god I am so predictable.

Anyway yeah I got the second book (digitally because I am on quarantine!) and they don't even bone until like almost the very end of the book and then it immediately careens into whump and ooooough yeah baby that's what I like to seeeeee. Tell your love interest that you'll never be used against her while you're being tortured and dying from your supersoldier brain implant!!!! Which she later has to save you from!!!! I love to see that shit!!!! Who cares about book one smouldering insta-attraction betrayal-angst when I can have the slow buuuuuuuurn I want them to brush shoulders during training and both need to go away to their private rooms to swoon and angst.

I'm super curious as to how the conversation will be steered in book club. The romance is very much the driving narrative, paired with a pretty standard "here is the group of bad guys we need to defeat using the power of the connections we've made with our FOUND FAMILY of couples who have gotten together over the course of however many books are in this series" (this time it's Evil Future Company Government) which is feel is pretty typical of most (paranormal) romance I've read.

Not a perfect series but a fun read, at least through books 2 of 3. But also like. As noted I'm insanely biased towards the ship dynamic that the second book is entirely focused on so like. I cannot be trusted in this.

[flaetsbnortoriginals]

Since some time ago I've talked about a random idea for a dungeon that I'd had for a while but don't think I'll be able to do right now, I'll do it again today.

But first, I need to talk about Eternal Darkness.

I first discovered TTRPG when a random guy in my school came up to me and asked me if I wanted to play. We weren't even friends. I don't even know what system it was - looking back, it feels more like one of those Lone Wolf style CYOA books, especially because it was one-on-one. I took that idea to my friends and we created new systems based on that one game, vague ideas from digital RPGs like Final Fantasy and Pokémon, and out of our buttholes.

Since we had no idea for what could be a setting for a RPG, we made them up, usually inspired on videogames. That was how I started playing a one-on-one game with a friend that was basically a TTRPG remake of Eternal Darkness.

Eternal Darkness is a 2002 survival horror videogame for the GameCube. It's mostly known for its sanity mechanic that often messed with the game in a meta way, like pretending to lower the volume or erase the saved files. But my favourite thing about it is that it took place over a very long time. It had four locations that were visited centuries apart by people in different moments of history. A buried temple in the Middle East is visited by an invading Roman soldier, then two millenia later by a Canadian firefighter putting out post-Gulf War fires. This meant that as you progressed the game you'd switch from swords to crossbows to flintlock pistols to assault rifles.

My idea from this is what I call a Time Funnel. A group of adventurers go down a terrible dungeon to destroy an undying evil. They fail. The next group takes a few centuries to show up, but at least they have better technology now.

I'll now proceed to vomit up some of the things I've thought up about this cenario...

I have some ideas about the setting. It would obviously need to be a forgotten island... close enough to shore that even ancient folks might feasibly end up there, but in a remote enough location that it would never become something well-known.

The concept for the evil that needs to be defeated could be:

the last holdout of an an Assassin's Creed-style precursor race

the seed for a very long term alien invasion force

why stray from the source? a temple to an ancient chtulhulesque may be perfectly fine

The rooms that are closer to the surface might become time-damaged once adventurers break into them, so the more you explore the dungeon, the easier time later adventurers will have. But this inverts as the heroes approach the core, as its evil actually becomes stronger when it's released and possibly starts infecting rooms that were previously safe and making defeated challenges come back more dangerous.

I've thought of the time periods as something like this:

Literal cavemen (sticks, stones)

Almost prehistoric (crappy swords, spears)

Ancient era (less crappy swords, bows)

Medieval (good swords, longbows, crossbows)

Age of piracy (fancy swords, flintlock pistols, muskets)

Victorian age (revolvers, shotguns)

Modern age (automatic guns, grenades)

Cyberpunk age (laserguns, drones)

Space opera age (nuke it from orbit)

Oh yeah, an idea I've had is that if the party dies enough times the last party is from a distant future in which the threatening entity has almost awaken, and you are humanity's last hope. So you've got the best technology a perfect future civilization can muster, but the enemies have also become equally powerful. I'm not sure if that kind of shift would work; might be a cool capstone if a campaign lasted that long.

Problems I foresee, however:

This definitively requires a OSR/NSR like system, and I'm not sure how to mechanically differenciate a crappy Bronze Age sword from a less crappy Iron age sword, for instance. Simply adding damage would create a power creep that makes modern weapons too powerful, while tactical advantadges might make the whole thing too complex too quickly.

In a regular funnel, when a character dies, a new one immediately replaces it. But this setting absolutely requires that a character is not replaced until a new expedition centuries down the line. What do the players of downed characters do?

Fine-tuning the difficutly would be paramount, and I'm not good at all at it. Although I imagine erring in the side of too difficult would still result in an interesting name, albeit maybe not a satisfying one.

The setting essentially required that everything happens in the dungeon, with no encounters with friendly NPCs whatsoever to break the tension. I fear that this might quickly become tiresome. Would exploring rooms without breaks still be fun just because now you have a rifle instead of a crossbow? (I do have a related idea in which there is an entire island with factions and stuff, but that's so much more complicated that it's basically a different idea.)

So... a cool idea, not one that I'm confident I could pull of now, or even in the foreseeable future. So instead I post it on Tumblr to throw it out across the winds.

[iamdeltas]

I think the closest any of the "omg they killed off the bad guy how REVOLUTIONARY!!!!!!!" celebrations has ever come to having an actual point is after Infinity Train Book 3. Because it's not remotely revolutionary to have an Unsympathetic Bad Guy get their comeuppance in the end--even shows that redeem some antagonists usually still have one Irredeemable Big Bad in the end--but what DOESN'T happen a whole bunch is having a bad guy with a very sympathetic backstory end up getting worse and get defeated/killed off in the end. It's not remotely surprising to have people like Horde Prime, who's nothing but narcissistic, controlling, and evil, or Belos, who only got less sympathetic the more we learned of his backstory, get killed off. But Simon is a sympathetic figure and we get to see what drove him to making the choices he made. Plus he was IIRC initially just following Grace's decisions. But as Grace started changing her ways, challenging her notions about "nulls" and working to become better, Simon doubled down, got worse, and ultimately died because of it. That's legitimately quite different from what we normally see.

I mean, it doesn't make the subsequent Steven Universe bashing any less annoying, but it is at least slightly revolutionary of an ending for a sympathetic villain.

[therubyreader]

My Review of Siege and Storm by Leigh Bardugo

See a full list of my book reviews here

*Disclaimer: there will be spoilers later on in the review*

Review Word Count, non-spoiler: 854 Review Word Count Total: 1,582

We're back with the second installment of the Shadow and Bone series! You all have managed to make me a fan of this universe so much so that by the time I'm writing this I just started Crooked Kingdom (I'm reading in publishing order) and I had to force myself to stop because I didn't want to get too ahead of myself before I finished writing all of the reviews for the rest of the series. But do not fret imaginary readers, I will be doing a review of Six of Crows sometime this week while I wait for King of Scars to come off hold.

On to the main event!

Siege and Storm takes us back to Ravka, where Alina and Mal are escaping the country, on the run from the Darkling to keep Alina safe from his control. Of course they are eventually captured and forced to help the Darkling find the sea whip, the second of Morozova's amplifiers, for Alina so that her power can be used to aid the Darkling's evil plan, or whatever. She is rescued by privateer Sturmhond, who originally was working for the Darkling but then claims he's working for a higher bidder and takes her back to Ravka in order to strengthen the Second Army and help defeat the Darkling while also learning more about her powers and forbidden magic (ooo spooky).

As per usual with trilogies, at least in my personal opinion, I almost always find that the second book is the best, it's always the right mix of plot and action. The reader is already well aware of the world that we're in so we don't have to focus on worldbuilding like in the first book, and the author isn't rushing to try and tie up all loose ends into a pretty little bow like what usually happens in the last book. This isn't a complaint, yet (stay tuned for my Ruin and Rising review), but just an observation and after finishing the trilogy I can confirm that the second book is my favorite. I mean, for starters, Nikolai Lantsov beloved, he's been added to my fictional crush list and this is the first time a fictional crush has been added to my list that's younger than me while I'm consuming the source material, though it is only a year-ish, closer to two, but still.

I think my favorite part of this book was that we get to see Alina struggling mentally with the weight of being the Sun Summoner and also how she starts to become addicted to the power of the amplifiers after getting the second one. I feel like books of this nature don't really add in the mental toll that the plot would take on its characters. On top of Alina slowly becoming more like the Darkling we see Mal spiral into depression and self-harm (through fighting and drinking) and just becoming an even worse person than he was in the first book, which surprised me because I didn't think I could dislike him any more than I already did. But at least this time he's being annoying because he's mentally ill as opposed to his regular brand of annoying and bad, so yay justification, I guess.

Another thing I loved was how we see Alina trying her best to be a leader that the Grisha need but she's honestly just winging it and using some advice from Nikolai, which is honestly pretty good advice he should write a self help book. It's realistic, a random girl who up until like a couple of months before was just some map maker in the First Army was suddenly the second most powerful Grisha in the world and expected to lead all other Grisha into war would not know how to be a leader. She is honestly just trying to do her best while slowly losing her mind, and it's realistic, tell me if you weren't in her shoes that you would do better. It's easy to judge from an outsider's perspective but we as the reader have to recognize that Alina just inadvertently killed multiple people, gained an immense amount of power that's making her thirst for more, learning about a new type of dark magic that the Darkling is welding and wants to participate in it, and her closest friend/lover is being an ass to her all while she has to be the leader of all Grisha for the safety of the world, I would also go insane. But that is good writing and a great time to read because these characters, despite their magical powers and titles are just people who make mistakes and are also sometimes not the nicest which makes the book much more relatable and it feels more realistic and immersive.

Overall, this was a great continuation of the series and it was a nice mix of setting up the story and also conflict, the final battle was absolutely insane and also very bloody. I would give this book a doesn't have middle child syndrome and is the best in the series out of ten.

Spoilers Below!!!

I don't think I have much to talk about that requires a spoiler warning since everything I liked about the book could be explained without the need to give any essential plot details but I do want to talk about the love of my life Nikolai Lantsov. First of all, I had a bit of an inkling as to what Nikolai was off doing when I was reading Shadow and Bone when Genya mentioned that he hadn't been at court for years and was apprenticing for a shipwright, a civil engineer, and a gunsmith, which I suspected was a cover up for something cooler, and I was right. He's also such a good dude, Mal should take notes, he was always trying to take care of Alina, never pushed boundaries (except for that one time he kissed her but at least he gave her a warning and more or less accepted her kicking him about it), and respected her choices without throwing a temper tantrum. Refreshing. He is also the funniest character in the book, I'm not going to give any specific quotes since I don't remember whether they were in this book or in Ruin and Rising but just know he had me cackling on multiple occasions.

I did also really like Alina and Nikolai's relationship, though it was mostly one sided in terms of romance (Alina you suck) they were pretty much best friends and I felt proud seeing Alina become friends with more people that aren't Mal (and also Genya but she was in her not a good person era). They genuinely became really good friends which made my heart happy, especially since Alina had at least one person who was being entirely honest with her the whole time and cared about her as a person not just as a pawn in his game.

Also a side note about the cult that the Apparat made surrounding Alina, first of all, so strange, second of all it does really add to the plot because there's another layer of guilt for Alina to feel about how she might not be strong enough to protect all of these people who essentially see her as their personal Jesus (which is a song btw) though Jesus doesn't exist in the universe. The cult adds more pressure for Alina to be the savior of Ravka alongside the everything else pressure which is a nice bit of spice for the plot that makes you feel really bad for her.

Also the fact that the final battle is probably the bloodiest scene in the whole book and the whole thing just happened so suddenly, we're all just enjoying Nikolai's birthday dinner and then out of nowhere a bunch of nichevo'ya crash the party and literally rip the crown prince apart, which like deserved because he sucked, but damn they didn't have to do it so suddenly. The way that all of the death was described too was insane, just bodies everywhere, people being eaten and ripped apart by the nichevo'ya essentially massacring the entire Second Army and a good chunk of the Soldat Sol, it was so intense that it really captured the pure evil of the Darkling. And you don't even get time to mourn your favorite characters, because people just keep dying, as soon as you're like "omg no this character that I grew attached to just died" two lines later it's like "omg not another character that I grew attached to is dying" and it keeps going on like that. Absolutely insane and honestly well written, no matter how bloody it was and sad it made me.

Another thing I wanted to talk about was the last fight with the Darkling which was so insane to me. This girl literally made out with him in order to steal his power enough to control the nichevo'ya, and then it worked??? That whole scene was so strange I honestly don't know what else to say about it but it sure is funny in hindsight, so there is that.

Again, overall my favorite book in the trilogy and I enjoyed almost every page, all the ones that had Mal in them made me mad but it's ok I got over it by the time I finished Ruin and Rising, which you all will see a review for very soon, executive dysfunction be damned.

[renas-readings]

Sooooo I finished it. And I'm not happy. Let's get to by starting with my biggest gripe, namely

The Characters

who are all really bland and don't exceed their initial stereotypes. Arek is the typical chosen one protagonists who becomes the new king of Eres after defeating the evil wizard. He's sarcastic, dimwitted and brave. Matt, his love interest and sidekick, is the typical booksmart mage. Bethany the beautiful bard is flirtatious and... flirtatious. And beautiful. Sionna is the stoic warrior. Rion is the stoic, virtuous knight. Lila is the thief, so she... likes money. The side characters are cardboard cutouts as well. I would write more about them, but I don't remember a single one by name, except Meredith, who is... Sionna's girlfriend and that's it. The most memorable side character was the wise wizard mentor who nopes out in the beginning and is never mentioned again.

So our merry party is a bunch of one-dimensional misfits whom I did not care about at all. We usually see them interact with Arek, and they all have the same manner of bantering with him, except Rion who was not into wordplay and thus dubbed the slightly boring one. I believe he got the least focus in the book, too. They told me they grew together as a family, but I didn't really get that impression. They were continuously horrible to each other, which I will get to now as I'm moving on to

The Story

which initially sounds promising! Arek and his friends defeated the evil wizard, Arek gets crowned king and everyone becomes a council member fitting to their respective strengths (Bethany is the diplomat, Rion trains the knights, Sionna heads the castle guard, Lila is the treasurer and Matt the court mage). But it turns out that Arek is now cursed and needs to be married before his 18th birthday or else he'll die, so some romantic shenaningas ensue as he tries to woo one of his friends while also grappling with his one-sided love for Matt.

The execution of the story is where it all falls apart though, and that has two main reasons:

1) Arek. A lot of the plot could have been avoided if he had a brain. He's just genuinely stupid and misses important facts even as they are directly told to him. It's not the endearing kind of stupid, it's really aggravating. Furthermore, despite being dubbed "King Arek the Kind" and Matt continuously reiterating how selfless Arek is, he... really isn't? He plots to woo one of his friends (without ever telling them about the curse) and enlists Matt to help him. Im his desperation he really doesn't care who he'll end up with, so he quickly jumps from Sionna (who turns out to be a lesbian) to Bethany (whom, he randomly decides, he embarrassed himself too much to woo her), Rion (who didn't give him any signs) to Lila. And honestly it was Lila where the book lost me completely, because he essentially drugs her so she reveals her heart's desire, which has to be the most selfish thing he could have done (instead of just TALKING to her!). She reveals her feelings for someone else and that's it. He gets a stern talking to and that's it, and he even makes light of it by saying that it turned out fine for Lila so what does it matter that he breached her trust and potentially could have humiliated her???? And Lila even agrees with him! Anyway, after that he woos some random people he doesn't care about because he only loves Matt, but somehow is just too stupid to do anything about it. He was the worst thing that happened to this story, seriously.

2) The Plot. I don't know how it's possible to have so much happen all at once while also not have anything relevant happen at all. So they slay the big bad, Arek becomes king, he gets attacked by snipers, gets cursed, has some diplomatic affairs, Arek concocts his romance plots using a dead princess's diary as a guideline, they get attacked by an octopus, they get attacked by a crow (Lila's pet), Lila gets drugged, they throw a masquerade ball, the end happens. That's a lot for some 330 pages, but all of it is so inconsequential that it felt all pointless! The characters didn't grow from any of this, they didn't learn anything, and each "action sequence" ended with Arek fainting and waking up next to Matt who chastises him. It all felt very disconnected from each other and didn't give me the impression of one cohesive story - it felt a bit like old cartoons with a "monster of the week" gimmick. The octopus attacked, they fought it, it was never mentioned again. Enter the crow, enter the next love quarrel section, nothing matters here! The story was just very inconsequential, similarly to

The Worldbuilding

which honestly barely existed - and the existing parts were stupid. So we're in a vague fantasy world, precicely the Kingdom Ere of Chickpea, which had been ruled by Barthly The Vile One, an evil wizard. There are pixies, fae/elves, giant octopi and other monsters. Apart from that, the world is not described at all so I imagined a generic fantasy RPG backdrop scenery tbh.

Magic users are often discriminated against because regular people fear them - and honestly I get it, because the magic in this world is just super random and unpredictable. The primary magician is Matt, who can practically do anything: Repair stuff, clean stuff, set up magical barriers, turn people into toads (which he often threatened), blast enemies with fireballs, poison his friends with weird flowers, etc. On the other hand we have very rigid magical rules that just exist because. One is the throne succession which can only achieved by killing the previous ruler (thus making Arek the next king since he killed Barthly) and the other is the magical soulbinding law which very explicitedly states that the ruler has to marry before they turn 18 and bind their soul to another. Allegedly, Matt researched those laws to no avail, so our explanation to all the "how?" and "why?" questions remain unanswered. Same goes for the prophecy which basically foretold the entire plot of the book in great detail. The best thing about the prophecy was the allusion to several oracles making up a bunch of prophecies pf varying accuracy, and even having each oracle have their own precision statistics, but here, too, the "how?" is never explained. The prophecies exist and some are accurate and some aren't, but if there are any rules to that - we'll never know. The author needed the laws and prophecies to exist to make the story "work" and that's the gist of it.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, I had high hopes for the book and I'm left disappointed and, even worse, angry. The execution was so lackluster that it was almost offensive - same goes for the writing style in general. The banter was occasionally fun, but it was always the same so it got old really quickly. The Lila thing almost made me throw the book out my window. I just cannot forgive that, no matter how hard the author made her characters tell me how it wasn't that bad. No. It was awful. The characters lacked depth and charme, much less creativity and originality.

So This Is Ever After didn't read like an actual, edited and reviewed, printed book. It read like the fanfics I wrote when I was twelve - and that is NOT a compliment.

0/5 stars, if I ever recommend this book to you, know that you've probably greatly wronged me and this shall be my revenge.

[zedxspacess]

Reflecting more NJPW and watching the G1 this year, something finally clicked with me. When AEW talks about "sports-like presentation" or putting in ring wrestling first and telling stories that way, I feel like NJPW has been emulating that energy way more than AEW itself. The parts that I like in AEW, I find more in spades in NJPW. I like Dynamite, but sometimes it can get too promo/pomp and circumstance heavy for me if they aren't doing marquee matches or important promos after a decisive win/defeat. What I usually look forward to in terms of a wrestling show are Collisions, because that's usually the day they book crazy or interesting matches with the more "sports entertainment" segments isolated in the Patriarchy-verse or BBG or HOB verses. And even then, they take their shenanigans seriously, if that makes sense? In New Japan, you still have out there gimmicks and characters like EVIL, Great O Khan, and Gabe Kidd, but they feel sincere. Same goes for Christian Cage, BBG and HOB, they feel sincere and at least try to be creative with their shenanigans too. But then you get acts on Dynamite like the new Elite, Jericho, MJF, who are so tongue in cheek and smarky, who don't wrestle a lot, rely on promos that reference smth extremely online, etc. I'm tired of it. Gabe Kidd is a foul, loudmouth brat who waves the flag of his company like MJF, but somehow his energy is different from Max's where you feel immersed in his character. I can't quite place it or describe it other than a true sense of sincerity and passion that radiates off of Gabe but not MJF, regardless of intention.

The more I think about it, I think modern American wrestling TV can't really do true "sport-like" presentation the same way NJPW or NOAH does because of it's weekly format. Old ROH was pretty close to that at times and it wasn't weekly for a long time. I think in modern days, CMLL is the closest to a weekly western sports-like wrestling show, but even then, they have their own quirks like heel refs and nebulous rules not being enforced. When Ospreay first came in and had his feuds with Bryan and Swerve, the way he approached it felt like something from NJPW. His character is very sincere, the stakes were simple, realistic, but managed to be emotional as seen with Swerve. Which is why I've been disappointed by the MJF feud until the very end where Max blurts out his insecurities or the debate over the "feeling" of AEW that were mentioned at the very beginning, but were sidelined by the whole America vs UK thing.

DGMW, I still like promos and the pomp and circumstance of American wrestling, I like the variety and creativity it provides; the Toni Storm-Mariah feud is an amazing example of it. And out of all the mainstream American wrestling shows, I'll choose AEW over the other ones. But if you're trying to market your promotion as a "sports-based" pro wrestling show, but your matches have distractions and interferences and run-ins from a lot of different groups...then be honest with yourself. NJPW only really has one faction that does DQs and interferences and a lot of people don't like them: House of Torture. It used to be the Bullet Club's thing to do that, but even the War Dogs have taken up the honorable villain approach to matches now, aside from the stray "Gedo hands David Finlay a weapon" or "Gabe Kidd low blows you" moments. Those are starting to become even rarer too.

[astriiformes]

@specialagentartemis replied to your post:

I did not know there was Legolas Age Discourse so heck yeah go off

@flugtm rplied to your post:

I have so little knowledge beyond a general excitement of "the movies were very cool" and scraping info from tumblr, I would love to hear the Legolas discourse

Okay, so there's actually several different types of Legolas discourse (age/hair color/ancestry being the big ones) because he's the member of the Fellowship that Tolkien developed the least, in part because he was originally going to have Glorfindel be the elf member of the Fellowship, before deciding that Glorfindel was too powerful, and since the Fellowship was going to be a subtler operation, they actually needed an elf with less experience and notoriety (something which is very relevant to my opinions on Legolas' age!!)

As a result, we have canon birth years for every other member of the Fellowship--except for Gandalf, because he's been around for most of the existence of Middle Earth. But Legolas has definitely not been around that long. Even the people who skew older for him generally give him a birthdate in the Third Age (or after the Last Alliance of elves and men defeated Sauron but failed to destroy the Ring) because elves older than that are usually attested as such in some of Tolkien's other writings, like the Silmarillion. There's also the fact that Mirkwood's forces, lead by Oropher (Legolas' grandfather) got extremely fucked up during the Last Alliance, so it really feels like if he'd been around for that, Legolas might have had a thing or two more extreme to say about Sauron during the quest.

This is where the Age Discourse begins. Part of the problem is that there was a movie tie-in book that listed Legolas as being born in year 87 of the Third Age (TA 87), which would make him 2931 during Lord of the Rings. This is not an impossible age! But it's not a canon one either, contrary to how entrenched it became. They made it up.

I don't think that Legolas was born in TA 87. First of all, like I mentioned before, the forces of Mirkwood got absolutely wrecked at the end of the Second Age, and I really don't think that Thranduil would have had a kid so soon (by the accounting of elves) after like two-thirds of his people, including his father, were killed and the kingdom was sent into what must have been chaos. Second, I don't think that Legolas is older than Elrond's kids -- which considering Elladan and Elrohir were born in TA 130 and Arwen was born TA 241, pushes him younger than the movie tie-in date.

And then there's the thematic reasons I think he's younger.

Several other people have written some really great analyses on the idea that youth is one of Legolas' defining characteristics--despite him being the second oldest member of the Fellowship by any reckoning, which is an interesting idea in and of itself. I really like this one by Michael Martinez and this one (which delves into some other questions about Legolas) by Tinw. The fact of the matter is, Legolas acts really differently from most of the elves we see in Tolkien's works. He often comes of as more idealistic and optimistic, and occasionally even somewhat naive--but at the same time, grew up in Mirkwood, which was under a constant onslaught by the forces of evil for either all or most of his life, so it's not that he hasn't experienced hardship or danger. They are, however, characteristics one could potentially attribute to youth.

There is a lower bound to how old he is. At one point Legolas makes a comment about the leaves in Mirwkood having fallen 500 times since the Meduseld was built, in a way that implies he saw all those times. So at minimum he's 500. Probably a little older. But I am personally in the camp of him being about 500 to maybe 800 years old at the maximum, definitely shy of 1000.

And in the end the big reason is the themes!! Lord of the Rings is a story about unexpected heroes, not about the most powerful or experienced people in the world triumphing. A 500-800 year old Legolas--still considered a young adult by the standards of his people, with an idealism that many older elves no longer have-- fits much better in that picture of the Fellowship and the other heroes of LotR, alongside a number of other characters who are fairly young by the standards of their people. After all, Tolkien, literally created Legolas to be a less powerful, experienced character. Having him be young works so well with that!

I feel like there's so many more interesting textual and thematic angels to him being a really young elf--probably one of the youngest elves in all of Middle Earth--but it's not an idea that's caught on as much as I'd like to see in the fandom. I will say that when fics give him siblings, he's almost always the youngest of them, which does edge a bit closer to the theory that he's pretty young, but I'd love to see more works that really explore the idea of him being one of the youngest members of a truly ancient people and the weird identity disconnect that has to give him! Especially as an elf from Mirkwood, the somewhat neglected backwater of the elven realms.

So that's my Legolas Age Take. I could go on a lot longer about why I think it works, but hopefully I have made my case here. I just really love Legolas and feel like there's a lot that can be done with the gaps Tolkien left writing about him, and would love to see people explore what I feel like are some of the more interesting ways to fill them in.

Who wants to hear me infodump about Legolas Age Discourse because I've been dipping into LotR fic again and it's reminding me that my preferred interpretation is not actually that popular, even though it has some legitimate textual support, and it's making me feel like writing an essay.