#funny as hell

[cringecat9]

I had a dream that I signed up for a kids version of American idiot the musical on ice and I was really excited because I know all the lyrics to Jesus of Suburbia but I didn’t know it was supposed to be on ice cuz I don’t know how to skate and the teacher didn’t like me much so my friends and I snuck out and went out to lunch. After that we went to like a combo of a drugstore and a Michael’s. Then we went home and I told mom I wanna quit because idk how to skate so we did

   And then my childhood mailman challenged us to a cookoff where we had to use RAO’s branded sauce but we declined and he got pissed

   We also passed this really weird hibachi restaurant where I got a glass of water but I think I might’ve stole it because it was like $30 and I didn’t pay????

what the fuck is up with my brain

edit: I made a visual

[bhodi-anjo-daishin]

This is EASILY the best video of the campaign season. It is so freakin good!

[777rare]

[adminkidd]

That bit was fucking funny tho lmao. And everyone jst stared at Lucifer

[lieutenant-fred]

stupid headcanon I have for some reason: meta knight's mask are actually his glasses and the reason he runs away is because he doesn't want to fight because he's legally blind without them

[aaamike]

Never forget that time Popuko and Pipimi were played by Kiryu Kazuma and Goro Majima’s Voice actors and they told the viewers that buying Yakuza is a better deal than watching PTE

[gaemms-chamois]

wow endfield this sure is the new character of all time

[simplydm]

Scott’s newest escape room Valentine’s Day edition is so funny. You have duos who are either in relationships irl or in game or both, plus Imp and Skizz.

[mucseszter22-blog]

Sloth 🦥

[dudethatsmyundeaduncle]

If we were doing a completely accurate Reverse Robins line up Damian wouldn't be Batman it would be Matt McGinnis LMAO

Cuz he's technically the youngest/last robin who is a Wayne (by blood)

[floridagrowngirl]

[quezzzs]

"I don't know. I didn't mean to say that but then he asked if I did want it and then...well you know what else."

"Yeah, a whole blowjob"

"CONNOR-"

Connor tilted his head to the side slightly as he took a sip out of his thirium drink while Nines was trying to quiet down Connor's truthful statement.

"Is that not what happened?" A genuine query left Connor's mouth, stirring his cup with the plastic straw.

Nines had to cover his face for a moment to regroup himself and somewhat cool the heat rush that went to his face. The RK900 sighed as he tried to speak calmly. "Yes, but for the love of rA9 we are in a public space, tone it down."

"Didn't take you for a believer."

"In this case, I'll believe in anything to get your voice box lowered."

In Nines' defense, they were standing outside of one of the few cafés in Detroit that offered safe drinks for androids and bystanders that walked by the conversation did give some weird glances before moving on. Connor rolled his eyes at the reason.

"Listen Nines, first of all this was absolutely unexpected. It's not common for me to hear my predecessor admitting he gave my work frenemy 'head'," Nines' lips thinned more while Connor continued. "For lack of other favorable terms. How else was I suppose to react to the sudden information?"

"That's valid, but you didn't have to scream in the middle of the precinct. I wanted to kill you for that, I hope you know." Nines expressed a bitter pout from the pervious events.

A small smirk formed at the corner of Connor's mouth with the direct threat. "If you wanted to kill me, then why are we here having refreshments instead of fighting?"

"You should stop hanging around with Lieutenant Anderson. You've gathered his talent for a quick mouth."

"I bet Detective Reed thought the same thing for you."

"CONNOR!"

The difference between the two RK models was that Nines takes things too seriously, and although that would've been the same for Connor (pre-deviation), Connor knew when to have his fun.

The RK800 chuckled at how easily flustered Nines could get over some light teasing. "I apologize, I'll refrain from causing further irritation." Nines had never wanted to strangle anyone more than right now.

"Besides all of that, what does that mean for you and Detective Reed?"

Shit. Nines didn't even think about how this would all go down like now.

He really can be stupid, huh?

Nines shifted himself to lean against the bricked wall of the small café behind them, his LED going to yellow. "I am... not sure. I left his apartment when he passed out from exhaustion."

"Damn-"

A sharp turn to the side was all it took for Connor to act like he was looking at something else.

Nines rubbed his temple as he shook his head. "But I do agree that we should talk about eventually. I'd want to get back on track with our murder cases instead of this weird... I don't even know what to call it."

"Situationship?"

"What the hell is a situationship?"

Connor shrugged his shoulders as he finished up his drink and threw it into a nearby trashcan. "You cannot confirm nor deny this odd relation with the detective so I assumed the closest related term for this scenario."

Unfamiliar with the label, Nines did a mental search and had found a few results.

"But we're not romantically involved?"

"Then perhaps 'friends with benefits?'"

"That's... not any better."

══════════════════

"So are you guys having a 'friends with benefits' sort of deal then?"

"Tina, I don't fucking know. It just happened, alright?"

Back at Gavin's apartment, Gavin was making some insta-ramen while Tina laid on his living room couch and browsed through the TV with boredom, trying to get more out of the current topic.

"Gav, he literally sucked your dick. Things don't 'just happen' like that. Don't gotta be shy about it."

A comical irk mark was found at the corner of Gavin's face when he stared at Tina choosing a movie to gossip over. "I'm not fucking shy," He picked up the two instant ramen bowls over to the couch and handed Tina her portion. "It's was a one time thing."

"Bullshit. Drunk actions are sober thoughts."

"It's 'drunk words'"

"Do I care?"

"I should kick you out."

"It's movie night though."

"...I hate you."

"Love you too, bud." Tina patted Gavin's shoulder and prepared herself to start eating.

This gave Gavin some time to think about yesterday night. That damn android.

Nines just had to be perfect at everything.

His work methods.

His manners and formalities.

That mouth of his.

His well maintained haircut.

The slight artificial stubble.

Those grey eyes that gazed up full of need as he sucked on Gavin's-

Gavin really needed to snap out of that before he could think himself down into a rabbit hole of madness. He picked up his bowl and began eating the soft noodles.

"You guys should talk it out though. Don't over complicate shit and get it done. If you wanna fuck and go, no one's stopping you guys, as long as you don't get caught by Fowler."

Mid-swallow, Gavin choked on his ramen when Tina mentioned that last bit. The fact that Nines and Gavin found themself in a sexual entanglement could affect both of their reputations as work partners.

Tina handed a water bottle to Gavin and rubbed his back. "Sorry, but I'm right about that."

The short man chugged half of the water and cleared his throat, wiping his face from any excess. "I know, I get it. I just- Fuck, now I wish I didn't drink."

"Maybe it's not all that bad?"

"How?"

"Well, Nines did say yes when you asked him if he wanted to do that. Think he'd be okay with an 'arrangement'?"

"Tina-"

Before Gavin could interject, Tina set her food onto the coffee table to explain herself.

"Hear me out on this, you haven't had the best luck lately with your love life. Maybe you have some frustrations to let out, and maybe Nines could help you out in that department."

Gavin scoffed at the idea and tried to bring it down.

"No, he wouldn't. You really think he'd waste his time getting down and dirty with me over DPD? He's just as addicted with his job as I am."

"Gavin, it's just a suggestion. Plus, it could probably help sort shit out. You have been acting more bratty lately."

"I have not-"

"Shut up. I don't want to argue about this, but I want you to know so you can try and do something. Now, let's stop talking and start watching White Chicks."

"What-"

"Bear with me."

Gavin rustled his hair and groaned but Tina only ignored his reaction and pressed play onto the movie. He couldn't be mad at her for being right though.

Him and Nines were really a lost cause.

EDIT: Prev - Next

[zenmastercharles]

Cobra Kai Christmas special except there’s no karate, it’s just Miguel and Kenny clamoring to find Robby a Christmas present because they have no idea what he would want for Christmas

[777rare]

[hiyukikagari]

he heard “you could say that” and knew his day just got an hour longer

[raincloudbubble]

When the angst fic I’m reading is angsting so hard that I need to put down my phone for a minute and contemplate what I just read