#‘dick is awful and violent but this OTHER character is perfect and good and loves being robin’ in seven days u will begin coughing

[mysterycitrus]

mischaracterising dick grayson’s robin as a feral, violent pseudo murderer because profound hope and perseverance in the wake of immense loss is apparently too complex of a character arc

[aerascreamer]

The more I explore Tim related content, the more I realise he is completely ruined as a character.

In recent comic, he became such a background character and disregarded as Bat member, yet he is the Robin who got his solo series first. Who then had a solo post Robin series. Who had completely new suits that are now given to Dick and Jason (either his OG or the post infinite crisis one). Who formed his own superhero team. Where was he during Beast World ? Where is the Young Justice? He completely lost his identity.

And the fandom is worse. From a competent martial artist trained by Lady Shiva herself with a detective mind so bright, Ra’s gives him the title “Detective”, he went to a coffee addict super genius tech guy, reducing to oblivion the scale of his abilities. That or he is still the f*** up version of his RedRobin era. This version doesn’t work for his entire damn life. This was Tim at his worst. It’s Tim in extremely specific circumstances. It’s a version that’s too close to Bruce in Tim’s mind and he doesn’t want to go back to that.

He had loving parents (albeit work focused and often travelling) and If I’m correct, he even had a good relationship with his stepmother. And Jack also tried his best to improve their relationship after her got out of the hospital. Heck, im the N52, both are alive and worried about their son. Never were they depicted as abusers.

Also, him and Jack having a loving son and father relationship is so important for his relationship with Bruce and by extension, his relationship with Bat as Robin. They were more or less colleagues. Not even mentor - pupil (Bruce send Tim away for training). He struggled to accept Bruce as a parental/father to the point of faking an uncle. In his mind and for a long time, him and Bruce worked as teammates. Tim has a dad, Bruce didn’t want another son. Let’s keep it at that.

Also, neither Jason and Damian are characters who should have full on abusive parents.

Jason’s parents were victims of poverty and struggled as lower class citizens. They weren’t saints. They weren’t perfect. They f*** up with Jason’s childhood. Catherine was a drug addict and Willis died in prison. But they tried their best. Painting them as pure abusers is a disservice to the heavily complicated nuances of raising a kid in a low income household and how it can bring the worst in people.

The Al-Ghul suffered from bad writing motivated by racism, islamophobia and what not. That leads to Talia being depicted as a god awful mother when that couldn’t be further away from the truth. She’s just a violent “tiger” mom, when we could have been a morally grey mother who, given her own education, did her best to raise Damian in the League. She wanted to give him the tools to survive in this world based on her own complicated upbringing and ultimately separated herself from him to secure his future.

Steph, on the other hand, definitely could have fics dealing with Cluemaster’s abuse. He’s a villain who cares more about crime than his family, to the point Steph has to go and fight him as Spoiler.

One other character that had an actual abusive is Wally West. But from what I get his parents weren’t abusive in the beginning. After Crisis on infinite Earth though, they both were terrible and Wally’s early run and character development focused on unlearning and moving on from what they did. I’m not an expert in the Flash fam so correct if there’s any issue.

Forever crying over Jack Drake. That man loved his son and i HATE what the fandom made him out to be.

Jack Drake who used his last words to not only tell his son he loved him, not only to find someone to care for his son, not only to remind him that his mother loved him too, not only to admit the work he does is worth it, but also to tell him that it is not his fault.

Jack Drake who knew his son, his precious boy who gave up his childhood to help people, would feel guilt if he didnt save him.

Jack Drake who knew he was to die, and could only think of his sons safety.

[poursomesunaonme]

goofy sex headcanons - for the jjk men!

a/n: these were soooo fun to write oh my god yallllll !!! but a million thanks to @titan-fodder and @spacelabrathor for hosting the ingenious better than fiction collab! such a fun idea <333 make sure yall read the other submissions too !

cw: nsfw, minors dni, minor characters aged up!!, some really cringey shit LMAO, spanking, mentions of pee, i have no idea what to do for these, all very soft and strange bc these men are menaces.

wc: 2.2k

featuring: satoru, yuuji, megumi, kento, toji, sukuna, yuuta, toge, suguru, choso, aoi

gojo satoru

talks like his dick is a person

y’all simply cannot deny it

satoru towers over you, lining his length to your entrance. he giggles as he kisses your nose, cerulean depths trained on your face.

“you ready for big goj, babe?”

you have to laugh while a smirk clings to the corners of his lips. his hair tumbles effortlessly into his face, a few soft tendrils tickling your cheekbones.

“please tell me you’re not calling your dick ‘big goj.’”

his face remains unchanged, giving you the answer to the question. of course your satoru would name his cock and refer to it like a human.

“why that? ‘toru, it’s awful.”

the head slips into your entrance, eliciting a hiss from between your lips. satoru doesn’t make a move to push the rest of his cock in you as another laugh falls from his lips. and his tone is so sweet, so nonchalant.

“because it isn’t lil goj.”

as if to emphasize his point, he sheaths himself inside before you could utter another syllable, a surprised gasp tearing through your body. and shit, he was right.

itadori yuuji

arguably the goofiest

talks in a baby voice because he’s the worst

lazy strokes bring yuuji’s hips to yours as your tongues interwine in a sloppy kiss. he stretches you in all the right ways, curve brushing against your sweetest spot with a practiced ease. toes curling, you wrap your legs around him, feeling the familiar tingle in your limbs as you approach your high.

“does that feel goodie woodie?”

yuuji’s teasing voice is like nails on a chalkboard. you roll your eyes, slapping a hand against his chest. he wears a goofy grin as he speeds up his pace, balls slapping against your ass.

“yuuji, shut up,” you whine. his childish voice had been funny the first few times y’all had hooked up, but now it’s just plain annoying.

he merely grins, not saying another word. his lips slot against yours once again, moans pouring from both of your mouths to harmonize in a euphonious, lewd melody. and soon, the ball of energy threatens to uncoil violently in your gut. yuuji’s made aware by the increase in pitch of your noises, how you grip his arms.

“aww little baby waby’s gonna cummy wummy?”

cummy wummy.

never had you ever been turned off so fast.

“not anymore!”

fushiguro megumi

has a secret troll sex playlist

megumi’s usually pretty good at making playlists. it was the first thing that had brought you together, and was most definitely his love language. and he always, always, had the best sex playlists.

smooth voices croon around the room as he sunk into you, thrusting into you so perfectly. and he makes sure that he can always hit it on the beat because it drives you fucking wild.

but this time, megumi had surprised you. some of the songs were complete jokes, sending you both into fits of giggles as megumi didn’t miss a beat, continuing to fuck you to these songs like it was his job.

(yes, he rick rolled you.)

but megumi clutches your shins to his shoulders for balance as his hips slap against yours in perfect tempo with the home depot beat.

“‘gumi,” you pant, breathless from laughing and his immaculate stroke game, “this is the worst song by far!”

“we haven’t even gotten halfway through the playlist, princess.”

the smirk that adorns his face is all you needed to know as the home depot beat gives way to the big time rush theme song.

nanami kento

is normally so collected but can be a menace

he has this thing where he tries to imitate pornstars and he’s scary good at it

you and kento had just moved to the bedroom from a heavy makeout on the couch, both already knowing where the night was going. he lays your naked frame down gently on the plush mattress.

“ready, hun?” he asks, grasping your hand to press kisses to your knuckles.

“mmhm,” you sigh, pulling him into a kiss by his neck. lips interlocked, he lines himself with your entrance and pushes in gently. however, the sound that erupts from his lips is nothing of the sort.

“ngh - shit!” he practically hollers, looking down with an incredulous expression that was a bit too dramatic to be real. with a grin, you realize what he’s doing. exaggerated thrusts slam into your center as nanami grits his teeth, furrowing his brows so hard that they almost get stuck there.

kento loves imitating the dramatic pornstar antics, yelling about how good your pussy feels, all well perfectly embodying the mouth-agape-in-pleasure face.

“i’m cumming!” he announces, slamming into you. “cumming! gonna cum in that tight little pussy!”

it’s too ridiculous not to burst into a fit of giggles as you wrap your arms around him in bliss.

fushiguro toji

is notorious for accidentally sticking it in the wrong hole. like, canonically !

which is kinda fun because sometimes you’ll go with it; other times, nah…

toji is just always so eager to fuck you, sprinting into the house from whatever event where he was unbelievably horny (if y’all even made it back from the car). he’s ripping off your clothes as you stumble into the bedroom, clumsily tossing them wherever you’ll find them tomorrow. he can barely see past his raging lust as he devours your lips.

you’re pinned under him before you know it; and he frees himself to plunge into your warmth. but he finds more resistance than he expected as he presses his cock into the tight hole.

“ow, toji!” you whine, pushing him away. “fuck, that hurt!”

“what’s wrong?” he questions.

“wrong hole, dumbass.” you roll your eyes, trying desperately to seal your lips together to hide a smile that tried to crack through your façade.

“sorry, darlin’,” toji drawls, taking a deep breath to center himself. he presses a kiss to your forehead, then guides his cock carefully to where he had originally intended for it to go. “i just get a little too excited sometimes.”

ryomen sukuna

will make a beat while he’s fucking you and rap over it

a broken cry tears itself from your lips at the sharp sting of sukuna’s palm against your ass. this doesn’t stop him, however, from continuing his moderate pace. it isn’t too fast, but it sure is powerful, rocking your entire body into the mattress.

the pace is steady as the both of you fall into a silence only interrupted by heavy breath and occasional moans - that is, until, sukuna’s been inspired.

“ooh shit, yeah girl / being in this pussy’s my whole wide world,” he raps, much to your annoyance. “i’ll take you for a whirl / crackin’ open your legs to find that pearl.”

upon attempting to roll your eyes, sukuna starts to deliver a series of rhythmic spanks on the sensitive skin of your ass, which effectively halts the motion. so, you swallow your defiance. and soon, that effort includes corking the laughter that followed sukuna’s butchered singing voice.

“i could spend all day inside this light,” he croons, much to your amusement. “y/n, you just get me so right.”

you’re nearly in tears from trying to stifle the giggles that bubbled up inside you, but at his childish rhymes, they burst forth. needless to say, your cunt inspires sukuna in more ways than one.

okkotsu yuuta

has a soundboard on his phone that he likes to mess around with

with a sudden clarity, you realize that maybe approving yuuta’s suggestion for the bedroom wasn’t such a good idea. and of course, it only took the sound of a clown horn honking while he squeezed the tender flesh of your tits for it to dawn on you.

yuuta grins, stifling raucous laughter at your incredulous expression, but he relents in the usage of his annoying soundboard, only for a little while longer.

“what? ‘s not funny?” he questions, pressing his chest to yours. sweat coats the skin as he thrusts easily into you.

“i dunno,” you shrug, brushing back a strand of hair that fell into his face. “‘s kinda weird.”

so the two of you continue in a comfortable silence punctuated by sweet moans and tender groans, that is, until, yuuta’s pushed over the edge.

and without fail, lil john’s “yeah!”s are harmonizing with your boyfriend’s moans. now that, you can’t help but guffaw at as your boyfriend collapses onto your chest in a spout of laughter.

inumaki toge

will tell you to queef over and over and will die laughing the entire time

hooking up with toge is super awkward the first few times because he’s scared to say anything. but as your relationship progresses and you become more accustomed to his different ways of communicating - more importantly, as you get more comfortable in experimenting with his cursed speech, it becomes more and more exciting.

but nothing is as exciting as toge burrowing between your legs, hips slamming into yours. he had promised a surprise for you today, and you’re incredibly eager to experience what he had in store for you.

memories of his cursed speech technique edging you, making you squirt, drawing out toe curling orgasms spiraled within your mind - and you can’t help but pool at the thought.

“queef.”

the word is barely out of toge’s mouth before the lewd sound sputters from your cunt, earning a cackle from your boyfriend. a heat rushes to your face in a sense of embarrassment, yet toge still persists.

his laughter, so rare but so beautiful, was so contagious that soon you joined in, collapsing in a fit of giggles. yet it’s safe to say that a serious sex was no longer in the question for tonight.

geto suguru

will lie and tell you that he accidentally peed in you just to see how you react

it started off as any normal evening. you and suguru had already eaten and finished doing the dishes when you retire to the couch to watch a show to wind down for the night. but you both usually know how that goes.

clothes litter the living room before you know it, and suguru already has you prepped and ready before sliding into the infinite warmth. with a shaky, grinning sigh, he begins to thrust into you. all of your limbs wrap around him, pulling him in closer to you.

“uh, y/n?” suguru suddenly pipes up into your ear after a few moments.

“yes, dear?”

“i… i, uh… i just peed in you.”

you’re up in a flurry, not even bothering to wrap yourself in a blanket as you stumble to the bathroom to attempt to clean yourself up. you can’t even utter a syllable, you’re so furious.

you have no idea what to do as you sit on the toilet. but suguru appears in the doorway, a cheeky smile on his face.

“so… would you kill me if i told you i was joking?”

“be glad i’m not armed at the moment.”

kamo choso

bonks his head on the headboard NO MATTER WHAT POSITION YALL ARE IN

poor baby has been concussed

choso can barely keep a pace with his hips when he draws near his climax. he can’t help that you wrap around him so perfectly, that you’re just the right kind of warmth, and you’re so soft. it takes everything in him not to bust as soon as he pushes the tip inside.

and he fucks you like a rabid animal, kisses you like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do, touches you like he’s a cartographer. he’s so enthusiastic, so passionate, that everything around the two of you ceases to exist.

and tonight, right as he’s on the edge, just one toe away from tipping over that precipice, a loud boom resounds from above you.

choso’s hips still immediately. his hand rises from it’s grounding position next to your shoulder to clutch at his forehead. you already know what had happened before he said anything.

“oh, dear, you hit your head?” you ask, a teasing lilt to your voice. he grits his teeth and nods. gently pushing against him, gently guiding his body down, you mount his hips to continue the session.

pressing a kiss to the growing bump on his front, you smile. “i’ll take it from here.”

todo aoi

every sound that you make, he’s making a comparison to what else it sounds like

aoi is a sex god. he does not fuck around when it comes to pleasing you. he does everything in his power to have you creaming and crying all over whatever he uses to find those sweet spots.

so you can’t help that with each dextrous moment he executes with his deft, girthy fingers, more of your essence seeps out of your weeping cunt.

and the sounds are nothing short of sinful. but todo can’t help himself.

“you know when you stick your finger in a fish pond, and the little fishies come suck on your finger-”

“give it a rest, babe,” you whine, tugging at his wrist to focus his attention. he obeys your wishes. he had a habit of labeling each sound you made, comparing it to something completely absurd. you had to be in a certain mood for it, however, and that was not tonight.

“mac and cheese.”

he can’t help but giggle at the wet sounds that spew from your cunt.

“shut up!”

—

jjik taglist: @the-princess-button @ob-levi-on @pink-apples001 @missyasma

© all work belongs to poursomesunaonme. do not copy and repost.

[finnofamerica]

Waking Up Slow - Eddie Munson X Reader || Fluff / Angst

Summary: After ending up in detention, you end up making friends with an unlikely person

Word Count: 1,228

Date Posted: 08.25.2022

TW: Mentions of abandonment, loneliness, cheating, parentification of a child.

Note: N/A

|| Masterlist || Request Here || Ask Box || Fandoms/Characters ||

You were never the type to get detention. You were a cheerleader for christ sakes. You may not have been quite as perfect or popular as Chrissy, but you were just as well part of the group, adored by the basket ball team. You just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, but that awful English Lit teacher had it out for you and refused to hear anything different. 

You had a singular detention buddy as you were stuck in the library, redoing the protective coverings on the entire paranormal fiction section. Trust me, the one and only Eddie Munson was just as shocked to see you as you were to be in detention in the first place. His offense? Tardiness. For the third time that week. You knew that because you were in his first period biology class, which he missed. 

“Y/l/n, Right?” Eddie asked as he plopped down on the floor next to you, in a home made Corroded Coffin shirt. You’d never heard of the band, you figured it must’ve been something you weren’t into. 

“Yeah.” 

“How come you’re in detention? Aren’t you in the group that never does anything wrong?” He asked. It came across dick-ish, but part of you knew that it was pure curiosity. 

“Because Mr. Fitz hates me,” You grumbled. “Fucking asshole. He probably off fucking Mrs. Lynde right now, not that her husband knows of the affair.” 

“Such a mouth on you, Princess. Not what I expected from the almighty cheerleading squad.” 

You rolled your eyes at his teasing, carefully pealing and resticking the cover you’d messed up. 

“You’d be surprised, Munson, not all of us are perfect like Chrissy.” You loved Chrissy, everyone did, but she was a tough act to follow. She was your best friend, but somehow you felt you always amounted to second best. “Aren’t you supposed to hate cheerleaders?” 

“I can always hate you tomorrow,” He shrugged, making you giggle, “There is nobody here to judge either of us. What happens in the library can stay in the library. Besides I wouldn’t want to damage your reputation.” 

That was the moment you decided you liked Eddie Munson, very much. He was not what you expected in the slightest. Everyone always told you that he was a freak, violent, scary. He was sweet, funny, caring. 

After an hour of small talk, the custodians came and left, all except the emergency lights went out, shocking you out of the book you were half reading. 

“What the hell?” Eddie wondered out loud, getting up and stretching his long legs. He rattled the library door, unable to get it open. “I think they locked us in here.” 

Your face went deadly serious, “You really think that Fitz left us here?” 

“If he was fucking Mrs. Lynde like you say he was, then there is a good chance he forgot all about us.” 

“I don’t have a phone.” You admitted. 

“The school phones block out bound calls without an admin code.” 

“I don’t wanna know why you know that.” 

“We’re stuck, may as well get comfortable, Princess.” 

You slumped back against the bookshelf, resigning yourself to the situation. Eddie took his spot across from you. 

“Are your parents going to worry?” He asked. 

“It’s just me and my mom. And No, she works overnights at the hospital, so, she’s usually gone before I get home from cheer practice, and back after I’ve left for school.” 

“That’s shitty.” 

You chuckled bitterly, “Yeah. It’s not really her fault though. She’s doing what she can to support us.” 

You realized how truly lonely you were. Even though you were “hot” and popular, most people never really cared enough to get to know you. Most of the popular crowd only cared about image and gossip, and tedded to bully others, intentionally or not. Others assumed that because you were a cheerleader you were dumb and wrote you off without ever having a conversation with you. Hell you didn’t even spend time with your mom most of the time. You made yourself dinner, did your homework without help, found your own way to school. 

“Eddie,” You found yourself asking, fiddling with your chipping nail polish, “Do you think, had we not been stuck together, you would’ve taken a chance on me?” 

“How do you mean?” 

“Getting to know me. Talking to me beyond the latest gossip.” 

He thought about it for a long moment. 

“Would you have taken a chance on me?” He returned your question. 

It was troubling. Would you have risked getting judged by those who were supposed to be your friends all for someone they told you was a freak? Would you have sought Eddie out, not knowing what you do now? 

Finally you nodded. “I would. If I saw you alone, away from the Hellfire club, I would.” 

“I’d be willing to take a chance on someone willing to chance it on me.” 

You smiled softly, blinking back tears of yours. 

“Tell me about DnD.” You requested, wanting to know more about the club and the game that so ostracized Eddie from everyone else. He smiled at you, explaining the general rules of the game, before launching into the campaign that he was running. You asked questions where appropriate. 

He asked you about cheerleading, wondering what drew you to the sport. 

“Not to get sad on you,” You chuckled, “But ever since my dad left I’ve felt so lonely with my mom having to pick up extra shifts, and Chrissy and I were always friends, she asked if I wanted to try out with her. So I did. At first, I loved the idea of belonging somewhere, being part of a group, but soon I realized that most people just care about their ‘popular’ image. I realized that they didn’t really care about me, I just made them look good, y’know? But now that’s where I belong. Y/n the cheerleader.” 

“If you want, you can always join us at Hellfire.” Eddie offered, “The guys might be hesitant at first, but we take care of our own.” 

“I think I’ll take you up on that.” 

“Wake up,” a voice prompted you, shaking both you and Eddie slightly. “Hey, were you here all night?” 

You felt a weight around your waist and warmth pressed against your back. It took your tired brain a minute to realize that you and Eddie were spooning. 

“Ms. Yates?” You asked quietly, rubbing your eyes. “What time is it?” 

You knew the young librarian was always here earlier than any of the rest of the staff. 

“7am, dear,” The librarian helped you into a sitting position, a kind smile on her face, “Lets get you both some coffee.” 

You startled Eddie awake, narrowly missing his flailing appendages. 

You both sat in Ms. Yates office, as she called your parents, sipping on freshly brewed coffee. 

“I am going to be taking this up with the principle, believe you me,” She said to your mother on the other line, “Absolutely unacceptable behavior from Mr. Fitz, leaving two students locked in the library.” 

You were barely listening to the conversation, half asleep on Eddie’s shoulder. 

After another thorough questioning from the principal, you and Eddie were excused for the day. Leaving the school with something you never thought possible. A new perspective. 

Tags: @munsonthemisfit @eddiemunsons-girl

[antiloreolympus]

5 Anti LO Asks

1. I'm always shocked when Webtoons actually helps other series get stuff like adaptations and merch (like Let's Play getting into Hot Topic, Castle Swimmer and muted getting plushies, printing Cursed Princess Club and Everything is Fine, getting Gremeoryland a movie deal, etc) like wow, they actually remembered they have other series besides LO! Yeah it only happens once in a blue moon when the planets are aligned during a leap year but at least they remember sometimes!

2. being sexually assaulted is a flaw now?? LO fans have no shame, they're openly admitting now they don't give a shit about sexual assault victims and see them as broken and corrupted. Then again, Rachel is using SA as a way to show Persephone "during into a Dread Queen" and pinning it to her murderous rage and bad aspects so yeah, I can see where the fans are coming from, it's not like Rachel is pretending it's anything but that and a cheap way to push her "romance" along.

3. Tbh it’s not like the comic says anything different? Like literally Persephone’s bad actions are either hand waved as Eris’ fault or her being “unstable” after being assaulted, implying her “flaw are from her being an assault victim. Madeline Miller and other white feminists like her and Rachel LOVE this trope to have their female characters always be “pure and good” with their assaults being the reason they act out violently, never them actually having a real character to them.

4. What’s wild to me is that there is so much for LO fans to hate about PJO. Like WW2 happened in that universe because of Hades’ dick creating Hitler, like holy shit that’s AWFUL and massively offensive to Greeks and non-Greeks (especially victims of WW2 like the Jewish people, LGBT+ people, Romani, the disabled, etc) , but instead no they’re mad at it because HxP isn’t the perfect UWU faves in it?? Of all things THATS what they don’t like about PJO? Weird priorities to say the least 🤨

5. It's a direct line in I think the House of Hades (which came out in 2013, so nearly 5 years before LO was even on Discover) that Rick sees Hades as having "blue skin". Like cmon, I don't think anything in LO is unique or from Rachel's head beyond Apollo being a r4pist and slavery/classism is good.

[hakasims]

The Most Important Review of Every Single Marwan Kenzari Film

If you’ve seen this one about Luca, you know the drill.

Now, Marwan’s brand is a little less defined than Luca’s but I managed to find similar tropes in a lot of his films. Also, rather than copy myself and give you a redundant Marwanmeter, I decided instead to recommend which Luca character best pairs with each Marwan character for your crossover pleasure. Let’s see if we ship the same things! Some of them are crack. You’re welcome.

(all gifs again by the awesomely amazing @weardes​ who did not ask to be my gif factory but life’s a bitch)

Het zusje van Katia (2008)

Will you miss him if you blink? Kinda. They talk about him a lot but his actual screen time is like 43.7 seconds. Also can I just say... he’s supposed to be from Italy?? The boy says literally one (1) Italian word, and you’ll never guess what it is. (Obviously, it’s “bella” like there’s a chance he could’ve said anything else.)

Is he hot? Painfully hot.

Is he naked? There’s this one scene where he’s wearing the sluttiest pair of speedos I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Does his hair look great? Actually, yes. Perfect hair, perfect beard, he looks amazing.

Does he fuck? Yes, a lot - off screen, including an M/M/F threesome he presumably, probably, most definitely initiated.

Best paired with? From what I’ve gathered, this hoe ain’t loyal, so the best course of action is to find him a Luca that would benefit from a one night stand with no strings attached and wouldn’t fall in love with him. The obvious choice here is Valerio from Slam - Tutto per una ragazza. They meet, they fuck, then Giac makes his 4-hour drive back to Pisa, and they don’t see each other again until the next time he’s in Rome. Everybody’s happy, especially the two sluts in question.

De laatste dagen van Emma Blank (2009)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, absolutely.

Is he hot? Very.

Is he naked? Almost constantly.

Does his hair look great? He’s got those cute short curls, he looks so good.

Does he fuck? That’s literally why he’s there: to fuck and to die.

Best paired with? Man, I wish I had something to work with here. The only thing we know about him besides his sexual prowess is his affinity for white suits and toy helicopters. And as far as I know, those might be the exact things Fabrizio from Nina finds hot in guys. So like, why not?

Loft (2010)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character.

Is he hot? Yeah, sure.

Is he naked? There’s a scene where he’s wearing underwear and a tank top but it somehow makes him look like a kindergartener.

Does his hair look great? It looks quite nice.

Does he fuck? Yes, though I wish he didn’t.

Best paired with? Tom is a very violent person and a drug addict. He does messed up stuff to his sexual partners I’d rather he didn’t do to any of Luca’s characters. Feel free to use him for your sadistic fantasies or as a villain or whatever.

Rabat (2011)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s one of the three leads.

Is he hot? Oh yes! And cute!

Is he naked? He’s at the beach wearing nothing but boxer shorts.

Does his hair look great? He’s got this extreme undercut thing that would look ridiculous on anyone less pretty, so like no, he doesn’t have great hair, but also like it’s Marwan, you know what I mean?

Does he fuck? Before he embarks on a road trip with his friends, he has an offscreen threesome with two girls he picked up at a wedding. Slut.

Best paired with? Gabriele from Waves. They’re both sweet guys who could meet in some Tunisian port and decide to sail the Mediterranean Sea together.

Black Out (2012)

Will you miss him if you blink? Not unless your blinking is very deliberate.

Is he hot? Not really. He’s a dirty cop with a shitty moustache and oral fixation.

Is he naked? No, but I wish he was: his clothes are awful. Marwan is 29 in this movie and he looks 50!

Does his hair look great? Nope. They took Marwan’s usual short hair and made it not work somehow.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? The one thing Luca’s characters all have in common is that none of them come off as bootlickers. All of them are either too soft for such a relationship or wouldn’t waste their spit on a cop.

Wolf (2013)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? *gestures wildly at the gif*

Is he naked? He’s got quite a few shirtless scenes.

Does his hair look great? It’s nothing special but suits his character well.

Does he fuck? Oh yes.

Best paired with? Hear me out. I know that some people ship him with Fabio, but in my opinion that pair, while hot, doesn’t work. Here’s my pitch: Cesare from Non essere cattivo. The drug connection is still there, but in this case Majid’s problem-solving skills won’t fall on deaf ears. Cesare needs a daddy, ok? Majid can be a daddy when he needs to, especially when he has a soft boyfriend to care for. And Majid needs soft, not psycho.

Hartenstraat (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist once again.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? There’s that iconic scene where he’s wearing nothing but black boxer briefs and boots while carrying a tray...

Does his hair look great? He’s got Joe-like curls and looks like what every male romantic lead should aspire to look like and then cry because they all fail.

Does he fuck? There’s one very unfortunate sex scene played for laughs. I’m pretty sure he’ll need therapy afterwards. I certainly do.

Best paired with? Paolo from Il padre d’Italia. Paolo deserves the best boyfriend, and who’s better than Daan, an extremely hot man who cooks? They both have daughters, so they can talk about that, I guess, and Paolo can finally have a family. Honestly, this is so wholesome I just made myself cry.

Lucia de B. (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? For sure.

Is he hot? He’s a cop. Again. But he looks good.

Is he naked? Fully dressed, but man are his clothes ugly. Is that a cop thing?

Does his hair look great? He has slightly longer curls, which is fine and the best thing about this character.

Does he fuck? ACAB. (I know this doesn’t answer the question, I just wanted to make it clear.)

Best paired with? See my bootlicker comment from earlier. While Detective *checks notes* Ron Leeflang isn’t explicitly corrupt, he’s obviously a dick, so the best I can do here is recommend any Luca character that has ever been in trouble with the law for any fics about power imbalance you want to write but aren’t comfortable with a nice Marwan playing the villain.

Bloedlink (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Oh no, he’s there the entire time.

Is he hot? In a weird way, yes.

Is he naked? So, so, so naked. Like, leave nothing to the imagination naked.

Does his hair look great? I’d say that little rat tail is the exact opposite of great.

Does he fuck? Probably more than is good for him. I should also add that he’s canonically queer in this.

Best paired with? Rico is a pathetic loser in need of someone who’s got his life together and has a lot of experience dealing with fuckups. Enter Loris from Il mondo fino in fondo. He has a stable job and a savior complex, and with his little bro gaying it up in Chile and not needing him anymore, all he wants right now is someone to fix. I should be a fucking matchmaker in real life, for real.

Pak van mijn hart (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Undoubtedly.

Is he hot? No. The whole point of his character is to be the lesser choice compared to a guy who looks like a completely ordinary bland white dude...

Is he naked? ...so of course he isn’t naked! What, are they gonna take this poor woman, show her Marwan Kenzari’s post-Wolf body and expect her to choose her deeply mediocre ex? Please! They’re gonna dress him in the dorkiest clothes possible...

Does his hair look great? ...and make him wear the most awful wig that was clearly run over by a truck.

Does he fuck? No. As you can observe, they tried really hard to make him unfuckable, but honestly, he seems like a perfectly nice guy.

Best paired with? You know what? Mattia from La solitudine dei numeri primi is in desperate need of some sweetness and normalcy. I’m sure Richard will treat him with kindness and respect.

Collide (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character. Out of five.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? Not for a second! What’s up with American movies where people aren’t just casually walking around naked without any plot necessity???

Does his hair look great? His curls are so cute you guys! Look at them!

Does he fuck? Not explicitly.

Best paired with? Fabio from Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot. Again, the drug connection is there, but Matthias is soft enough not to butt heads with Fabio and, by the end of the movie, rich enough to satisfy his cravings for good living and fame. Also look at how good their color coordination is with those dark wine red clothes! Sometimes planets just align, okay?

Ben-Hur (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, especially if you aren’t watching the background.

Is he hot? Your usual Marwan hot.

Is he naked? No.

Does his hair look great? His typical short curls with a twist. I think the forehead area is supposed to invoke the Caesar cut? I don’t know. It looks fine when not hidden under that dumb helmet.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? A better script and a much better director. (Seriously, what is this blocking?)

The Promise (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there a decent amount in the first half of the movie and then almost completely disappears in the second half.

Is he hot? Very much, yes.

Is he naked? Unfortunately, no.

Does his hair look great? He’s got short curls again, but this time they’re fashionably styled, it’s magnificent.

Does he fuck? Oh yeah! And there’s no way he isn’t bi or pan in this. No way.

Best paired with? Roberta from L’ultimo terrestre. Listen, Emre Ogan may be a slut but he’s a gentleman, okay? He’d treat Roberta right and he’s got daddy’s cash to spare on hundreds of gorgeous white dresses for her.

The Mummy (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there, but barely.

Is he hot? Dangerously hot.

Is he naked? Not once! Instead we get a naked Tom Cruise literally no one asked for.

Does his hair look great? It’s your basic professional short hairdo.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Malik is a member of an organization tracking and destroying various monsters and historical artefacts related to them. Guido from Tutti i santi giorni speaks four languages, including Latin, and is a literature and ancient history nerd which makes him a valuable asset. Malik can fight and protect; Guido is bumbling and in need of saving. Guys, this writes itself.

What Happened to Monday (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, especially not in the third act.

Is he hot? He’s okay.

Is he naked? Very naked.

Does his hair look great? They shouldn’t have greased his curls back. He looks like another victim of Fabio Cannizzaro’s stylist. Also I wish he’d either shaved or finished growing out that beard.

Does he fuck? He fucks and he fucks good. He’ll go down on you, he’ll deflower you slowly and gently, he’ll choke you if you want him to, he’ll spoon you all night, he’ll give you emotional support, he’ll murder people for you - he’s down for whatever.

Best paired with? There’s one Luca character who needs a lot of sex and even more emotional support. Alright, most of them do, but I’m thinking of Ettore from Lasciate andare. He needs it, okay? Good dicking, good spooning, a good ear, a fine piece of ass to cry into - you get the gist. Most importantly: someone who’d love him for who he is and with whom he could relax and be himself. (Also, I see you, people comparing him to Fabio. Shame on you for sleeping on this soft boy and judging him based on his appearance.)

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s kinda always present, being very French.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? No, but I’m willing to forgive that because he looks so good in his conductor uniform.

Does his hair look great? He never takes off his hat.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Mickey Miranda. They’re both murderers morally dubious characters who would look hot together. What else do you need? (Again, I see you, people who want Pierre for Roberta because he’s a “nice guy”, and I know for a fact you didn’t watch the movie. Spoilers, I guess.)

The Angel (2018)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? Oh yes.

Is he naked? Not once, but you won’t regret it because he’s wearing excellently stylish 1970s clothes.

Does his hair look great? It looks fantastic. The sideburns (not yet seen here) are a good touch.

Does he fuck? He can definitely get it, but he’s loyal to his wife.

Best paired with? As the most aesthetically coherent and fashionably hot pair in this post, Ashraf and Primo are a no-brainer. Can you imagine Primo calling him “Angel” in different contexts? When he’s being intimidating, not realizing how palpable the sexual tension between them is, and later not even hiding his arousal? Sometimes things just work because they’re hot. That’s all, folks.

Aladdin (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the main villain.

Is he hot? It’s not like he went viral for being the “hot Jafar” or anything.

Is he naked? No! Fucking thanks a lot, Disney.

Does his hair look great? He has a buzz cut under that turban but he looks good in the turban, so that’s something.

Does he fuck? It’s a Disney movie, so he doesn’t fuck - explicitly or otherwise - but he still comes off as a thirsty bitch.

Best paired with? Jafar ends the movie as a genie who’s obligated to grant his master three wishes but is enough of a petty bitch to exploit the hell out of the “gray area” and screw them over Wishmaster style. My unconventional pair for him is Lui from Ricordi? So many scenarios with distorted memories and magic-induced mindfuck. So many possibilities for awesome and messed up crossover gifsets! Don’t say I never give you guys anything.

Instinct (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s very prominent.

Is he hot? I hate myself for finding him hot but I do.

Is he naked? He’s playing basketball shirtless in one scene, shaking his sweaty boobs everywhere.

Does his hair look great? His weird mohawk-like thing is honestly terrible, but if anything can make it work, it’s Marwan’s bone structure.

Does he fuck? Um, I’m pleading the Fifth on this one for the sake of good taste.

Best paired with? Prison. A very lonely, Luca-less prison.

The Old Guard (2020)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, unless blinking in your case means sleeping through the gloriousness that is the first ever canonically gay couple in an American action film.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? Shirtless in one scene.

Does his hair look great? Soft curls courtesy of Luca Marinelli’s tireless lobbying.

Does he fuck? Not on screen, but you can just tell by the way he looks at his husband and reads impromptu poetry right to his face. And everybody knows nothing kindles the fires of passion quite like murdering homophobes together.

Best paired with? If you have to ask, you’re clearly reading this by mistake. In which case, kudos for finishing such a long and confusing post, now go watch The Old Guard and cry at the beauty that is The Immortal Marriage.

[grasshopperjay]

okay i gotta get real with all this jay & voight stuff happening right now.

i just want to share my opinion, mostly because i feel like my thoughts don’t align with most fans on this site. and i like hearing other peoples perspectives, so sometimes i hallucinate and think maybe others want to hear mine too 😂(also i completely believe in having civil conversations about differing opinions, so if you disagree, feel free to send me a message, just be kind)

i love jay as much as the next person, i think he’s great. but he is not the perfect see no evil do no evil detective most are making him out to be right now…

i’m in the middle of a chicago pd rewatch with my mom rn, and i literally have made a list of evidence against jay, where he’s went along/helped voight when he crossed the line. and i’m only on episode 7.

if we’re gonna talk about people who have consistently went against voight’s way… the only answer, the only person is antonio.

in the early seasons antonio constantly challenged voight’s way of policing when the rest of the unit went along with it. antonio still protects voight (and justin in s1) but is always checking hank and opposing the crossed lines. jay only does it once in season 1 ep 14 after antonio tells him too. season 1-4 is literally all about burying cases and blackmailing with IA.

eventually antonio goes down another path and we see him make mistakes, and in s6 jay sort of takes on the role antonio used to play.

and the role that lindsay played in jay’s change also really needs to be mentioned. jay really only starts actively opposing voight after s4 when lindsay leaves. because she’s his girlfriend and she’s always on voight’s side he kind of automatically is too. his high road really only started after s4 when lindsay left. then he kind of becomes the moral compass of the group.

jay has not always lived up to this gold standard that he’s being held to right now. two great examples are in s1 with the ben corsen situation, and in s5 with the camila situation. jay has also crossed the line, maybe not as blatantly as voight, but there have been times where he could have lost his job. (i mean the guy covered up a war crime for goodness sakes)

adam, olinsky and hailey are beloved characters who have done similar voight-ish things but they aren’t held accountable by fans the way voight is.

and that’s probably because voight has been “bad” from the beginning. but that’s exactly the point. a lot of people forget that voight has always been an anti-hero/vigilante character. dick wolf decided to start chicago pd because he loved jason beghe as voight so much.

in my opinion, characters like voight are needed for cop shows, especially now, because they’re demonstrating the changes that need to be made in real police departments.

police reform unfortunately only really started in the past two years, and they’ve started introducing the reform in pd in seasons 7,8 & 9. and i think that them portraying voight going through these changes is extremely interesting. he’s having to fundamentally change his ways of policing. we’re witnessing a character arch. of course he’s going to have slip ups, change doesn’t happen overnight, but he is trying.

almost every cop show ever created has a character that breaks and bends the rules, and not all of them are including reform in their recent seasons. i think we should be kinda proud of our show runners for at least attempting to mention this issue.

another thing that i think is worth mentioning, is that voight crossing the line almost always (i won’t say always cause i don’t wanna get quoted) in favour of the greater good. his techniques are outdated and violent, but he uses them in order to put awful people away.

i think the real issue with voight could come when his actions are unethical for reasons not related to the greater protection of others.

after watching this show 3 times over, i’ve grown a little bit of a soft spot for voight, and i will always love jay, but the comparisons between the two bother me.

that’s all i guess 🤷🏽‍♀️😂

[luna-rainbow]

tfatws 1.04 character commentary

Wow, this episode was painful to watch. It was a group of fundamentally decent people being roundly unpleasant in the name of their own idea of justice.

What was nice about this particular episode was that it culminated in a clash between multiple different viewpoints that manage to stay consistent with their character.

If you stan any of the characters, now is the time stop reading. Almost everyone did something less than stellar in the last 2 episodes, although I feel like a lot of it is a script issue.

PS: I'm so glad Sam explained what TT was. Is this in common use in certain parts of America, or amongst certain ethnic groups? I've seen people so offended by Bucky not knowing it, but I've never heard this.

Bucky: as much as I love him, I'm glad to see his crappy decision to break Zemo out come back to bite him. Yes, his history gives valid explanation for why he does stupid things, but he needs someone to put their foot down and give him repercussions when he's crossed the line. As beautiful as that scene in the beginning with Ayo was, it was also a vivid explanation of exactly how awful his betrayal of their kindness was. T'Challa was willing to pit Wakanda against the world to give Bucky peace (a reminder of T'Challa's incredible compassion at the end of Civil War), and Bucky tramples over their peace by going on a world trip with their king's murderer. Not cool. It's also incredibly bold of him to assume he and Sam will have full control of the situation (against a dozen super soldiers) and ensure Zemo doesn't slip away.

Ayo: the thing about teaching repercussions, particularly to someone whose mental health may make it difficult for them to unpick the nuances, is to make it specific to the insult. She was completely right to call Bucky out for his betrayal, but to punish him at a time when he is pleading for her to have a dialogue, when he is defending Walker on Sam's bidding and not Zemo, complicates the message. Of course, she's not obliged to cater for his feelings, but the way she has done this may not get her the lesson she wants him to learn. Not informing Bucky about their ability to instantly disable him is a can of worms I'm not sure the MCU was ready to open...but also fairly characteristic for a nation that spent most of its history hidden from the outside world. The rapid way the conversation with Walker escalated into a fight, particularly when both parties wanted Zemo locked up, was another failure to engage in communication. Was it in character? Yes. Was it cool to see them fight? Hell yeah. Was it great judgement? ...Nope, if they just talked, they'd have Zemo in chains by now.

Sam: Sam handled the negotiation with Karli beautifully, but I want to see how the script pans out over the next 2 episodes. So far, my primary concern with his character is that he is too soft with people he sympathises with. Him allowing Bucky to drag him into Zemo's mess aside, I am also not seeing any hint of him addressing the fact that Karli needs to face consequences for her violent actions. Young and idealistic is not a free pass to crime and murder, although to be fair, their conversation had only just begun. The other issue with the Sam and Karli dynamic is that the story provides nothing concrete about her beliefs, her values or her goals. It's not clear what she actually envisages as the perfect world, so it makes it hard for us to believe that her vision is better. There is a lot of resentment, and people motivated by resentment often isn't much different to people motivated by vengeance, so it was almost disappointing to see Sam say that she is different to villains like Zemo.

Karli: Sam connected with her for a moment, but she then uses his goodwill to separate him from Walker so that she can murder Walker for symbolism's sake. She also uses Sam's civilian family as barter, which is a dick move towards someone who genuinely makes an effort to understand you. Running away like kids who accidentally broke a window when they killed Lemar highlights she doesn't have the nerves to carry through with her vision. It must be much easier to blow up a bunch of people chained inside a building, than to watch someone die in front of you at your hands. Her approach and plan is immature with a tinge of adolescent overconfidence, and I can only see things going downhill from here as authorities escalate their efforts against her.

John: A perfect demonstration of how minor character flaws can become magnified under stress and have major ramifications. In several conversations with Lemar, we see that he does consciously try to align himself for good, but he is highly strung, impatient, and arrogant. He overcompensates for his anxiety with dismissiveness and aggression. These flaws were what brought him down. Remember though that arrogance, impatience and aggression aren't exactly exclusion criteria for MCU superheroes (Tony? Thor? Strange?). This would have been made for a great superhero origin, but the narrative framing made him a deranged antagonist.

Zemo: Can we give this guy a gold star for being the only one on the team who was focused and efficient enough to get their original mission accomplished? And unlike may other villains, he did this with minimal collateral damage. Truly deserving of an award.

[thegeminisage]

top 5 moments in broken road?

i literally waited until now to answer these ask meme questions so i could do this w/o spoilers. anyway time to do an ask meme i got questions for THREE ENTIRE WEEKS ago

#5 - "my girl" john/mary reunion

Mary rushes forward into John's waiting arms. He gathers her up and holds her close, pressing kiss after kiss into her hair, tears running down his face. "My girl," he says, in aching disbelief, drawing back to cup her face in his hands. "My girl." She laughs through her own tears, and when he smooths one gun-calloused thumb under her eye she turns her face into his hand, and then he draws her close and kisses her, like they're the only two people left in the whole wide world.

look. am i valid? no. but they compel me. to them their story is just as real and longlasting as dean/cas is to us. so i added a little gutpunch to that reunion because it’s my fic and i get to do what i want >:) actually, even though i made a point of calling john “dad” and mary “mom” in dean’s pov, in this moment, i deliberately used their names - it’s more than just mom and dad, it’s theee john and mary winchester back together after all these years. no, they don’t stay that way, but after a 22-year quest in her name, it still deserves to be like a Reunion. 

(other four are below the cut to spare ur dashes. there are major spoilers for the whole fic, just warning u)

#4 - john getting punched by [SPOILER]

Dean's shoves his father with all his might, yelling, "Let go of me!" Partially because even though just moments ago the dungeon was exactly where he wanted to be, he absolutely doesn't want Dad to be the one to put him there, partially because he's afraid that Michael is about to break free from that cage in his head and vaporize everybody in firing range, and partially because he's afraid that if Dad doesn't let go, Cas will kill him.

But Dean's only got one hand free, and Dad's grip is too strong. Michael and sleep deprivation have made Dean weak; he can't get away from Dad on his own.

Then, when Cas is still just out of arm's reach, Sam lays into Dad with the fiercest right hook Dean's ever seen.

Dean knows that right hook well. That's one of the first moves Dad taught him, one Dad forced him to practice a thousand miserable times—how to stand, when to turn, where to throw his weight—until he honed it to absolute unthinking perfection. And it is perfect: Sam nails Dad right on the jaw with all six feet and change of muscle, sending him staggering back, his grip on Dean slipping free.

Dad slumps against the wall for a moment like he's literally seeing stars, like it's all he can do not to pass out. His nose looks like it might be broken. Dean rounds on his brother; if he was expecting Dean to thank him for that, he's going to be disappointed. "What the hell, Sam?"

But Sam's looking at Dad, not at Dean. "He said," Sam pants, "to let go of him."

i’m normally very anti-punching john, but i feel like if anybody has the right to do it, it’s sam. he’s spent his whole life being protected from john by dean and he finally gets to return the favor! all his problems are solved because he’s literally the bigger man now in every way! i doubt sam would ever punch john on his own behalf, but it is UTTERLY in character for him to do it in defense of someone else, but i bet it was pretty fucking cathartic too. picking sam moments in this fic is like picking children but this...you know, it wasn’t even in my outline. it happened organically as i wrote. and it just. feels right.

#3 - sam telling john to clean up his mess

"Seriously, Dad—we've had enough of your lip service. You're sorry? You want to help? Clean up your mess."

What? John frowns. Does he mean Dean?

But, no—Sam twists and picks up an actual mop and bucket from the corner behind him. The bucket is full of red-tinted water. "Go in the kitchen," he says, "and if Dean says you can use the sink, run some clean water with bleach. We gotta get the blood off the floor, because the longer it stays there, the worse it'll stain—especially on the hardwood."

"Uh," says John.

Then Sam gives him a severe, no-nonsense look that nearly punches the breath from John's lungs—because for the very first time, he sees his Mary in that stubbornly unimpressed face. "Do you understand? This isn't a motel. You can't expect someone else to do it for you. Don't go in the kitchen," Sam says slowly, enunciating every word, "unless you're going. To clean up. Your mess. You want room service—there's the fucking door."

THERE’S THE FUCKING DOOR. i love this bc firstly i believe in man of the house sam and secondly it falls into the same thing of like...sam is finally big and strong enough to protect dean and by god he will make himself an impassable 6′4 between this man and his brother. i think especially since finding out about flagstaff, DOUBLY since becoming a parent, sam is like...so less than impressed with john’s bullshit, and even more impatient than he already was of john’s stupid excuses. 

there’s also this motif of cleaning throughout the fic - in john and sam’s very first scene alone together, they are washing dishes. at first this was a nod to sam and dean doing it in lebanon - dean washing, sam drying - but washing is the “hard” part of doing the dishes; when my mom taught me how to do them i began learning by drying first. so of course dean has been washing and letting sam dry all their lives - almost literally, because john talks pretty early on about dean being a neat freak too, because john simply wouldn’t pick up after himself but still hated the mess. there’s a few mentions of it in the fic, how john liked being able to leave a mess behind in their motel rooms, how he’d prop his feet on the table - but in season 10, it’s sam on his knees scrubbing the bloodstained floors after dean’s murder spree, and in broken road sam makes john wash the dishes, and at the end, sam makes him mop. @maulthots put it best:

like that’s it. that's literally it. and then, finally, john offers to clean up on his own without being asked. that’s Growth™, at least in whatever way he’s capable of it. at any rate, he’s too afraid of getting hit again to NOT clean up after himself lol

#2 - dean/cas car scene [content warning for nsfw and discussion of past sexual violence - scroll down to #1 if you’d like to skip it!]

Cas lets go of Dean, but it's to reposition his hands on Dean's knees, slide those huge palms up Dean's thighs. Dean feels the heat of them bleeding through his jeans. Then, holy shit, Cas rests his thumbs on Dean's belt buckle, and makes eye contact.

Dean wets his lips, a little uncertain. He has no idea what Cas is going to do. "Yeah, okay," he croaks.

Cas leans in and kisses him again while he undoes Dean's belt. Like—fuck, like he knew Dean wouldn't want to watch. Dean hears the zipper on his fly, and all at once it clocks that, yeah, okay, this is really happening. Heart thudding in his ears, Dean reflexively lifts his hips so Cas can pull his jeans off. But Cas only slides them down a little. Then he reaches into Dean's boxers and gets a hand around his dick.

Oh. A small, quiet noise drops out of Dean into Cas's mouth, and he turns out of the kiss, panting as Cas pulls him out of his clothes. He's not sure what he was expecting, but this is okay. Just a handjob—he can handle that. It's good, actually. A little dry, but Cas has a light touch, and Dean has decided that he likes Cas's hands. He knows the shape of them very well.

i really enjoyed writing this whole scene, but this was my favorite part. cas technically does get dean’s consent, which was important to cas and a little bit of a big deal for dean too, but dean didn’t ask what cas was going to do before giving that consent, because he almost...doesn’t care? like, dean’s previous experiences with men were all lousy at best, and violent and traumatizing at worst, and arguably none of them were 100% consensual. so part of him is figuring that whatever happens will be within that spectrum, and he’ll just deal with it being awful no matter what it is because he almost literally can’t picture it not being awful. he's not doing it because he likes fucking men or expects he’ll like fucking cas, he’s doing because he wants to be close to cas, he wants to be away from michael and his dad, and because if he and cas are together now that’s part of the package and he’s just done the full “for keeps” commitment bit, so he’s not gonna pussy out now, right? he trusts cas not to actually harm him, and be closer to “lousy” than “violent,” but he is, in his mind, basically giving cas consent to hurt him, because to him that’s what sex with men IS. and he’s understandably pretty nervous because he doesn’t know what’s going to happen - all he’s sure of is that he won’t like it. 

but then he does like it! he likes it a lot! trusting cas turns out to be the correct choice! because if cas had turned him down in that moment, trying to baby him or second guess him, i think dean would have felt really hurt and angry and embarrassed, he would have felt like he was broken or untouchable. which is why cas took him at his word, but ALSO did pretty much the most tame thing you can do and still count it as having sex. so cas managed to thread the needle perfectly because he knows dean so well and he’s literally been inside his mind and witnessed that trauma and knew everything to avoid doing. so for dean it wound up being TRULY consensual instead of the sort of fake consent he’s used to handing out to johns. if that makes any sense. idk i just really enjoyed doing it. i think a valid reading is that dean has this physical fear of men that is just...not explored very much in fic. and it was nice to write something where cas was sort of able to undo or heal a little of that damage. 

#1 - michael

No, no, no—we can't die—we can't die, we are eternal, we are our Father's most beloved, His favorite son—

No no no no no no no no no—I can't die—I can't die—

Light fills the room, reflecting in Dean's eyes making them look as though they glow. And for the very first time, John sees him. John sees him, John sees him, John sees him—

Where is my Father? Is He watching? Can He see me?

Father, help me, I beg You—please, I don't want to die—

I don't want to die—

i could honestly paste the entire michael scene here, there’s not a thing about it i don’t love, but this was probably my favorite part. and look, i waited NINE YEARS to see michael!dean, i deserved to go apeshit!!! i think the fun thing about michael is that he’s a great foil to both john and dean, the literal connecting tissue, especially when he’s hopping bodies like that. he’s dean’s aggressor but he’s also dean’s twisted reflection, nearly broken by his father’s absence. it was impossible for john to see dean as he really is until michael let him see it through dean’s own eyes.

and then “i” at the end - i knew going in that i wanted a “we” pronoun (though i almost chickened out of it), because michael’s in charge but he’s also making his vessel do things with him, like laugh or scream or hurt people. but when michael dies, he’s alone figuratively and literally, because john’s not dying with him, and his own father has forsaken him too - and that’s the way dean so often felt, and FEELING that was probably the only thing that could possibly give john the motivation to be even slightly less self-centered and shitty. 

michael was my whole reason for writing this fic - because i was livid they didn’t use him to tie dean and john together in canon, because the burden of being his vessel is just one more thing dean had to take...this whole chapter, this whole fic, hinged entirety on the batshit insane dynamic between michael and dean and john. and like there are parts of this fic i was insecure about and wished i could have done better, but this? i think i nailed it. definitely the part i had the most fun writing. 

but like, honorable mention?

"Dude," Dean says, flipping on his blinker so he can pull up beside the local grocery, "can we not do any touchy-feely shit, please? That's—"

"Gay?" Sam suggests.

"Get out of my car."

>:)

[jamesholden]

I think it's unfair to drag babs into the drama considering she's one of the only disabled characters played by a disabled actor in the superhero genre right now and that means a lot to people and that seems to be being thrown away no one seems to care? Also, dickbabs has been around in the comics as long as dickkory it's not like she's some OC they plucked out of nowhere. It's also nice to see disabled/abled relationships on-screen since ya know that also never seems to happen much.

My background perspective on this is that like a) it's a little..... hmmmm..... to be so violently/performatively against the idea of a disabled woman being shown romantic interest on screen when we don't see that much if at all in American Media regardless of who the other person is, if that even happens in the current timeline of The Show, regardless of the Absolutely Horrendously Sexist Way She Was Injured (we do not stan TKJ, we stan Babs' portrayal in spite of it.) but also b) there's a lot of Really Shitty Opinions out there about Kory when it comes to her costume/sexuality/race and the comics have basically stomped over all the romantic things they had for her in universe and out to the point where I've seen some Really Awful Things said by shippers about her, so people who ship her/love her tend to be very protective of her and the portrayals of her and her relationships on top of the still pervasive treatment of interracial ships and Black fans by White Fandom and c) no group is a monolith and shouldn't be treated as such any time something happens or there's a Take to Dissect if you get me

all that out of the way, I agree. there was some really awful things said about Savannah around the beginning of the season and a lot of convenient subtext left out of conversations around a possible, even if temporary, re-ignition of Dick/Babs. Babs has always been important to Dick, and if we're going to Gotham and she's alive, she's going to come up one way or another. I do believe this SHOULD be a Tit/ans show first, even if we have to dabble in Bat/fam sometimes (but like again Focus on the Ti/Tans).  There's... a lot of like ignoring the rep that could be had because it's not a desired ship. And again, I get the stance from a Dick/Kory standpoint. I came to the show For Them. I adore Anna. But as I've posted before, there's something deeply uncomfortable about this whole thing of writing her off/shit talking her/calling her worse for him (also like lmfao why are we having this be about WHO IS THE BETTER WOMAN FOR A MAN like oh my gosh) ignoring that this could be good for a group of people who never see themselves represented.

I mean look how excited Savannah was and all the things she's said about getting to play someone like Babs! This Does Not Happen Often and the fact that Babs could kiss Dick or be shown being romantically desired is treated as so repugnant for a SHIP WAR is..... deeply uncomfortable to me.

I get the criticism, the show is.... far from perfect when it comes to it's POC characters and their storylines. Media and fandom have deeply ingrained racism issues towards the fans and the characters alike. But I just am of the belief that we have to be aware of the things we say and the people who could be hurt in the crossfire of Ship Wars. This is why I don't really engage with "shipping" the way a lot of fans might. I'm tired of Ship Wars. I'm tired of Genuine Issues In Society being used as fodder. And i'm tired of like ostensibly innocuous and harmless ships being treated as lmfao the absolute worst thing to happen to me and society simply because it exists

this got long but yeah hope this makes sense

[carpetreveiws]

Helluva Boss Episode 6 Review

It's Saturday, the twenty-first of August. I wake up at ten. This week has been, to say the least, taxing. My morning routine has fallen into a lull lately. I wake up, find something to eat (usually nothing more than a slice of bread). I open my phone, and the rather rigid itinerary continues:

Open discord

Open twitter

Open instagram

Open snapchat

Open youtube

Open any games that give free daily rewards (though I barely play them anymore).

This routine is borne not out of a personal need for structure, but purely out of apathy towards anything I see. I don't care about updates, I don't scroll through social media, I very rarely type in comments sections. I am done in five to ten minutes.

So, I had kind of forgotten about Helluva Boss. As a matter of fact, it didn't even appear in my youtube recommended, which it has unfailingly done for its past 5 episodes. I had said, a few months ago, when I wrote my last review, that I was losing faith in the series. I didn't think Vivenne had the right mindset for writing, visible in the series' basic structure and frankly cringeworthy sense of humour. By this time yesterday, I had no expectations left for Helluva Boss and no concern over what its future was going to look like. About a year ago I bought a funny little Hazbin Hotel merch t-shirt that I am wearing right now (Ironically, I was wearing it before realizing a new episode had been released. I put it on this morning because it was Saturday and I don't have to see anybody. I like the colors).

So fast forward. It's now around five-thirty in the evening, and I am checking my twitter again. There's an image on my feed, captioned by somebody (I can't remember what the caption is). A Helluva Boss screenshot. I close the tab instantly, and go to youtube, typing into the bar "Helluva Boss episode 6". There it is. I look at the timestamp, 22 minutes, and immediately think to myself: Oh shit, it's review day.

And it is. So here's my review. This intro was a joke, and most of it's made up.

Summed up: This episode is a step in the right direction. All these random character points, that felt too simple, or too back-seated in previous episodes get to take center stage (finally). It's focused only on Blitzo and Moxxie, but by the end of it, they actually feel like fairly complete characters. We start in the center of the action, which works perfectly for a show like this. Even though it's been two months, I am pulled back into the show almost instantly. It opens with some clever animation, of the tv screens, but these aren't the best visuals we'll be seeing this episode by any stretch of the word. In a few quick lines, each character is not only placed into their element: Blitzo's vulgar admonishments, Moxxie's sardonic reproach. Millie is aggressive, but we're again reminded how much she cares for Moxxie. She shouts at Loona to open the gate, and Loona refuses, citing her knowledge of Blitzo, and how she knows he's serious. It's perfect. I love it.

From here we have Moxxie and Blitzo restrained in a high security facility, as some agents begin to question them. The next scene is my personal favorite, of possibly the entire series, because we finally get to see Blitzo and Moxxie acting in sync, being friends, I guess, when we've only gotten bits of that before. They've mostly just bounced off of each other, so it's some nice character development. Good job.The rest will come in a bit. Rogers also gets to show off a bit his knack for the snappy dialogue. Though, every silver cloud: the scene ends with a "your mom" "my mom's dead" joke, that would hardly be funny in a reddit thread. It is downright awful here.

Loona and Millie are infiltrating the facility for a violent intermission.

So here's the real meat of the episode: The agents release into the room a "truth gas" that does exactly what the name implies (oddly enough, they never bother to question the imps before the gas dissipates). After realizing what the gas does, both Moxxie and Blitzo enter musical hallucinations, in which they confront each other, and the personal issues in each of them that contribute to their flawed relationship. Before, I continue, I want to note that the music and animation here are stellar, but again, the episode has better visuals still on the way. This number is essentially what all those bits of development between them were leading up to, and it's great. All of it is paying off. The series will change from here on out, hopefully: We'll get to see a healed Blitzo and Moxxie taking on all the villains that were set up. I was going to mention it later, but I guess I'll just awkwardly shoehorn it in now: Each episode has set up a new villain and none have recurred yet and that is not at all a good thing. I have no idea how Vivienne gonna get through all of them in a meaningful way. Back to the scene at hand: We're going through Moxxie's natural submissiveness, and Blitzo's fear of both intimacy and of being alone (does some of the dialogue here feel too imitative of Rick and Morty? I don't know. That's your call). When it's over, Blitz realizes his love for Stolas (romantic) and for Moxxie (platonic) (probably). They agree to be better friends. Congrats. We did it. The payoff is here.

Let's celebrate with a big ol beautifully animated fight scene that's just as edgy as these 2012 deviantart furries (Loona is back as a wolf, thank you). It's fast, bloody, at one point Blitzo pulls out a comically large rocket launcher labeled "MY DICK" and it shoots a missile labeled "PUSSY DESTROYER" and to my absolute shock, I laugh. That's right: This episode made me laugh one time. But honestly, that doesn't matter to me too much, because this isn't trying nearly as hard as the other episodes to be comedic. It's focused on other things, and I can appreciate it for that. As a twist, the original two agents escape, and slam that big red button. They're locked inside, guns pointed at them, and when it seems as though all hope is lost, Stolas arrives, which a demonstration of his power. Yet another piece of this episodes that fills some previously teased aspect. He's possessing people, raising dead in here, and his "true form" is what I mentioned a few times earlier: the most beautiful visual in the series yet. Or maybe I just like owls.

The episode is over, and I close the tab, thinking about how I'm going to write this review. I'm astounded. I had legitimately lost hope for this series. And just when I least expect it, Vivienne comes with an episode on par, maybe even better, than the second. Each character is realized, the animation is stunning, it feels like it's exactly what it wants to be. To put things into perspective though, I still don't think this episode nears the series' hypothetical full potential. It's certainly not on par with the best of some of the shows it recalls. The comedy still suffers, and the character development doesn't have a ton to work off of, and I that age warning at the beginning still feels misplaced. But you know what? Vivenne has made something half-decent here. And I can appreciate that. If the show keeps this up, hopefully even getting better, and minds bringing back one of those six or seven villains that have already been set up, then the future looks bright. It is with pride, joy, and definitely definitely tears in my eyes that I give this episode a 6/10.

[smokeybrandreviews]

F*ck Batman

After i finished the first season of His Dark Materials, i figured i might as well check out the other shows I've heard are good but were behind some ridiculous paywall i had no interest overcoming. There were a few candidates, Euphoria and Chernobyl were definitely at the top of that list but i wanted something a little lighter, a little more fantastical so i opted to check out Titans. I’m not a DC dude but my people who are, say this thing is pretty okay. I wanted to see for myself so i ran threw both seasons. I ain’t like. I was entertained but i can’t say I'm fan. There is merit to this show and it might get it’s sh*t together enough going into that third season, also getting that HBO money, but i was left wanting. However, upon my viewing, i noticed some things. This isn’t a review, but more sh*t that made an impression.

I really, really, liked this version of Raven. The youngster they got to portray her, Teagan Croft, is perfect in the role. I absolutely loved every second onscreen, even if that whole “I’m terrified of my powers” arc lasted WAY too long.

How the f*ck was Trigon the very first big bad? How you blow your load that fast? That’s like the DCEU going from zero to Doomsday in two movies. The f*ck?

Speaking of Trigon, those effects were awful. This show really needed that infusion of HBO/ATT money because whoa.

And as if to drive my point home even further, f*cking Dr. Light’s costume is mad terrible. Like, the worst. None of the costumes are really any good, except for Donna Troy’s and kind of Nightwing’s? The rest are high end cosplay at best.

Trigon to Deathstroke? For real? Whatever, bro.

Didn’t expect Ravager so soon. Absolutely love that Ravager is here. Chelsea Zhang is mad dope and embodies the character perfectly. She’s snarky, cunning, violent, and every bit the Rose Wilson i expect.

Surprised to see the Atomic Family in anything, ever. That sh*t was a super-deep cut. I had to look that sh*t up to make sure i was seeing what i was seeing.

Papa Dick is the best Dick.

The guy who plays Jason Todd has a weird f*cking face and it wigs me out every time he’s onscreen.

The music in this show is pretty bloody excellent. I kind of feel like that's where all of the budget went because, goddamn, there are some bops in this thing, for sure. That opening theme is f*cking ridiculous!

What the f*ck is going on with Hawk and Dove? They’re metahumans, literally the personification of war and peace. Who the f*ck greenlit these versions? They’re both just assholes in hockey pads with debilitating anger issues. Sh*t whack son.

Also, Hawk dick don’t work.

And Dove wants the Dick dick.

Lots of filler episodes, man. It feels like I'm watching an old anime from the Nineties.

Starfire took an entire season to grow on me. Anna Diop, the chick who plays her, was awful in at the start of the show but she got much better toward the end. She really came into her own, though, the second they teamed her up with Donna. They have great chemistry together.

Lots of wholesale murder, man. Like, so much murder. Constant stream of bodies, on both sides of the conflict. Sh*t is wild. I don't understand how Supes exist in this world, catching bodies like it's a baseball game out there. Bunch of f*cking costumed psychopaths just out in the streets, brutalizing people to death.

Show suffers from that “too many villains” thing. Just in the second season, you start with Trigon, move on to Doctor Light, then Deathstroke shows up, but the ultimate bad is CADMUS shenanigans. Also, Rachel is still doing her weird demon sh*t on the side, too.

I like Donna as much as i like Raven. Conor Leslie was chef kiss level casting. Also, i mean, she’s gorgeous.

I like the level of diversity in this cast. Lots of representation onscreen. Kind of wish there were more black folks, though.

Lots of melodrama. So much forced melodrama. I get that this is a teeny drama like experience but too much is too much, you know? I can only take so much teenage angst before i completely disconnect.

Titans is a decent watch, not really a decent show. it’s kind of all over the place but i understand the intent. I’m not super into all of the edgy, grimdark, reimaginings and this show has a REAL bad case of that but there are a lot of good ideas in it. I’m not a DC guy so this was a hard sell for me and the pitch was good, but not good enough. I imagine fans of the comics or the old cartoon show might like this take but, for me? Meh.

[conchstellations]

watching the 1990 LOTF movie!! my reactions:

hello all!!!! i was bored at midnight again so here it is: me watchin the 1990 movie, for the first time, hell yeah!!!!! here we go!!! its got the other movie to live up to, so im excited for a comedy lmao!! tl;dr at end if u want!!! its kinda long btw lmao

- castle rock entertainment??? piggy u better watch out bro

- fuck is that the pilot???

- k this isnt a big thing but why are they in water? the plane left a scar in the earth, they were on land.

- okay, again, me nitpicking. but idk, to me, they dont look 12?? maybe its just cause theyre all dressed up n that but they dont look like 12 yr olds to me like the last movie

- why tf does ralph (?) have a glowstick lmaooooo

- why are they all together. where is my conch. wher are my stupid ass choir outfits. maybe im not there yet and they have them, but i want my stupid cloaks!!! jack would not stand for this!!!

- why TF is the pilot alive???

- am i supposed to know whos who by now?? did i just miss that?? which ones ralph? which ones jack?? wheres simon???

- conch??? the conchs main job is to bring them together, and here theyre already together so???

- piggy already makin me love him gosh piggy is child

- okay so im guessing brown hair kid is ralph

- piggy protecting conch rights

- i do like piggys sass... very iconic

- okay whAT??? is that blonde kid supposed to be jack?? first off, jack has red hair. second off, there is no way in hELL THAT MY basTARD child jack merridew would let ralph win the election just like that??? wheres my choir??? wheres my c sharp???

- okay jack would for sure call piggy shitbrain nvm

- mY CHOIR WOULD NOT ACCEPT THAT SINGING. 

- wheres simon????

- r they fuckin cookin lizards??? nvm look away simon pls dont be in this

- is thAT BITCH supposed to be Simon?? hes got a lot to look up to. also why the FUCK is the adult alive. taht ruins the whole purpose of the entire book

- was that a dream??? sorry im dumb af lmao

- alrght simon is kind of an adorable hild and he likes lizard maybe hes valid?

- idk.. for some reason this ralph isnt like, giving me ralph vibes?? hes just not bring like ralphish u know??

- now im getting a little bit more of our beloved lil bitch ralph..

- okay wtf is going on lmao

- “SHOVE THEIR DICK IN THE CONCH” had me laughing for a solid fucking 30 minutes. william golding who??? whoever wrote that line is the new icon

- ‘EAT SHIT AND DIE”  okay wtffff im so confused but also vv entertained

- for some reason jack’s character is like 100% off, but also somehow 100% on point “thats exactly what i meant” like holy shit. like idk hes not jack but just sometimes he radiates “jack if he was allowed to swear and was less of a lil bitch” energy

- ok simon and lizard?? valid

- i swear to FUCKING GOD i will kill that child!!!

- im gonna cry. wtf. why would you kill his lizard. even this movie’s jack seems like he thinks thats fucked up and hes a psychopath. also, lemme say, at this point, i think most of the book characters would beat the shit out of someone if they were mean to simon like that, bc the choir were his friends, and ralphs tribe respected him, sooooo

- why tf is it simons job to take care of the adult that shouldnt even be there? liek wtf hes grieving asshole

- no fucking duh hes scared of everyone but simon i would be too 

- honestly kinda glad they let ralph say fuck he deserved it

- “back off man im sick of ur shit and sos my gang” fuckin got em

- let me guess pilot dude is the new beast???

- honestly wtf is goin on lmao

- okay piggys actor actually made me sd when he was crying about his glasses so good job

- simon comin through with the glowstick. also, good job simon

- well at least the lord of the flies looks terrifying as always

- are samneric putting on warpaint this early?? bc i WILL NOT stand for that shit. i am a samneric STAN Ok??? they were two of the tHREE left when simon died who didnt become cowards and go savage. they wree LOYAL to ralph until they were LITERALLY tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then they helped ralph!!!! so fuck u. samneric are better than that.

- oh simon :(

- im glad they actually kind of (?) shwed simon like with the pig head bc last movei it was just ike them flipping the camera from pig to si so idkk

- ok that was a pretty ralph move to bring up the fire 24/7 lmao

- piggytits?? tf

- simon with hus fuckin glowstick lmao

- awe, simon

- okay HOLY SHIT. the sounds of what i assume to be them fucking stabbing simon are horrific. and then that cut to simon’s fucking mutiliated corpse?? holy SHIT. like as much as im complaining, thats the gruesome shit i expect from this book. i was expecting them to shy away from it bc its so awful, but im SO glad they didnt, bc that gave me fuckin chills. finally, something i can praise them on. thats the lord of the flies i expect. 

- i feel bad for ralph.. good job

- ok good. samneric came back. good job again.

- ok. nvm. the disrespect to my loyal children. alright.

- okay that child screaming as hes being whipped?? wtf.

- ok that line of piggy being scared that the russians will take them nad make them go into the olympics? gold. 

- piggys laugh is so pure

- why the fuCK are they finding instruments lmao

- poor piggy

- did roger just wolf whistle at ralph what the fuck is going on

- holy SHIt this movie does not hold back on the blood. but, wheres my conch explosion?? if ur gonna show him getting hit u gotta show the conch exploding. although, the conch means like nothing in this movie lmao

- okay wow piggys dead body cool cool cool

- ralph fucking YEETED that kid to the ground lmao

- okay, ralph crying?? good acting

tl;dr/conclusion/my thoughts: hooooo boy so i see why everyone likes 1960 one better. 

first, lets start with the obvious: why this isnt lord of the flies. because its not. if this wasnt telling me that its lord of the flies, i would think of it as that, really. first off, the conch. the conch represents civility, it brings them together. its important. when piggy dies, it dies, representing how all civility is now gone. i maybe saw the conch three times this movie. didnt do anything.

second, the pilot, captain whatever. the point of the beast to me is that they made it up. sure, the corpse was real, but it didnt pose a threat, it was simply a corpse. they made it into what it was, therefore proving that they are the beast. sure, the pilot here was harmless, but he grbbed a boy’s foot and was therefore making himself a possible threat. maybe its not a big deal i guess.

third, the characters. the point of lord of the flies is that they are rich kids who havent gone through anything. theyre the perfect, spoiled kids who havent done anything wrong. half of them are in choir. chOIR. in this movie, lets take jack for example. they said he stole  a car and got sent to military school. no. the point of jack is that he was a perfect kid. leader of choir. he was manipulitive and got even ADULTS to trust him. its part of hs character, showing that this perfect choir leader kid went fucking insane to prove how literally everyone can be evil. also samneric???? the direspect!! they were loyal to ralph until they were tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then, after roger like beat the shit out of them, they were STILL loyal. fuck you.

so those are the MAIN reasons why it wasnt lotf. 

now, what i liked i guess.

the swearing was NOT lotf, and it didnt fit with the story, but ill admit that i laughed, so i guess thats a plus.

second, i liked how they showed the gore, i guess? sounds weird, hear me out. lord of the flies is a gruesome, violent, awful book. theres descriptions of death in detail, and im so glad they showed it. when simon’s body was there, literally torn to shreds? the shock of it, the true savagery you see that these boys murdered him SO violently, is amazing, because thats the essence of lotf. simons death shows how theyve lost all their civility, and showing such a gruesome corpse really brings that through. so good job.

and now, of course, the obvious: thats not the characters i pictured when i read the story. simon doesnt look like that, ralph doesnt look like that, jack doesnt look like that.

 where did the choir go, too? forgot to mention that, and i think that also adds into the whole, theyre supposed to be perfect kids and then become savage thing. also, the choir was a group. they voted for jack and went with him for a reason. 

so yea, thats that. dont know why people would read this lmao but thats my thoughts!!!! i just need to keep myself busy when i watch movies and to make sure i focused, i figured id just write down my thoughts as i went. if u wanna watch for free, look up lord of the flies 1990 google drive. 

;)))) and yea im posting this at 230 am lmao why not

[outside-seoul]

Game of Thrones, 8.4

In case you had any doubts, I am incapable of shutting up about Jaime and Brienne.

Their pairing is as epic and elemental as storytelling has to offer. They were inevitable--the handsome rich boy met his match in the strong, hardworking girl, and sparks flew. It’s a tale as old as time. But the chemistry between Jaime and Brienne isn’t only visible to consumers of narrative like us. People in the story can’t miss it, either. Cersei, Vonn, and (tragically) Tormund all saw it without being told.

At this point in the show, Jaime and Brienne have been through a lot together. They’ve been enemies and allies, criticizers and conspirators. But it’s not until the celebration of the Battle of Winterfell that we really see them as friends just being together. 

Usually you have to be watching a Korean drama to see a hand touch as significant as the one that happens in this episode. Brienne puts a hand over her cup as Jaime tries to pour her wine, but he won’t have it. He reaches out and covers her hand with his own for a long moment--there’s no shyness or uncertainty here, just tenderness. It’s a simple physical touch that means something to both characters in a way Western entertainment rarely seems to imagine.

Finally, Jaime pulls Brienne’s hand away from her cup and says, “If this isn’t the time to drink, when is?” She smiles in response, an unguarded expression that doesn’t seem quite at home on her face. For possibly the first time ever, Jaime and Brienne make real, true eye contact as they sit across the table at the feast. Neither of them can quite manage to look away, even as they toast and drink.

Brienne’s face is colorful with bruises in this scene, which reminds me of a riddle I once heard. You arrive in a town with two barbers--one who’s sloppy with a terrible haircut, and one who’s impeccably groomed with an amazing haircut. If you yourself want to look good, you’re supposed to go to the sloppy barber--he’s the one who cut the other guy’s hair. In this scenario, Brienne is the sloppy barber. She’s a skilled swordswoman who took up the slack to protect her one-handed boyfriend in a fight, and her face shows how hard that was.

In the festivities that follow, Jaime and Brienne are finally relaxed and safe, and it’s increasingly obvious that they’re becoming a couple right before our eyes. “You have danced with Renley Baratheon,” Jamie says, and there’s betrayal in Brienne’s eyes when she looks at Pod. We know that she told Pod that story once, and now we know that Pod and Jaime talked about Brienne when she wasn’t around.

Tyrion, the only person who might ship Brienne and Jaime more than I do, decides to move the evolution of their relationship along. He quirks an eyebrow at Brienne as he takes a drink, then starts talking about the status of her virginity. (Which is, admittedly, a major dick move.)

I’ve read that some people don’t like what happens next, but I think it’s perfect. Brienne stands up and announces in a loud voice, “I have to piss.” This works for me both because that’s what drinking does to you, and also because it’s just the sort of thing a woman would say when she’s going out of her way not to be seen as a woman.

Unlike lone-wolf Arya, Brienne is a team player. She’s spent her adult life surrounded by soldiers, rough men who measure their worth in blood. To blend in with that crowd, she’s learned to minimize her femininity, behaving like one of the guys. So when she’s confronted with this somewhat embarrassing fact about herself as a sexual being, as a woman, she makes it clear to everyone around her that she’s not some swooning lady. She’s a rude, crude, dangerous solider. (Who was until just recently making heart eyes at her dream man.)

All this lasts until potty-mouthed Tormund shows up, at which point Brienne turns back into her chilly, aloof self. Brienne wants to keep Tormund at a distance--she’s not interested in being accessible to him. So instead of earthy soliderisms, her response is queen’s English. “Please pardon me for a moment,” she says, stepping around him. 

Tormund starts to follow her, but Jaime stands in his way. The rueful look Jaime gives him is worth about a million words: She’s mine, it says. You never even had a chance. As Brienne leaves the room, she looks back to see that Jaime is following her. She quickens her pace; he does, too.

In Brienne’s room, we see some of old Jaime. He’s disdainful of the north and almost looking for a fight with Brienne--"How about Tormund Giantsbane? Has he grown on you?” Jaime asks, his tone suggestive, his posture aggressive. 

Brienne has been drinking all night, but I think it’s Jaime who’s really drunk in this scene. Knowing what I know now, it seems like there are two things at play here. First of all, Jaime is afraid and uncertain about what it means to love Brienne. The buzz gives him the bravery he needs to move toward her. But deeper than that, his association with her has made Jaime see himself as he really is--as a flawed man who’s done terrible things, a man who probably isn’t worthy of her love. As he drinks, he forgets that being with him will sully her.

The eye contact in this scene is the most sexually explicit thing that’s ever been on my television set. It’s a miracle that the entire planet didn’t spontaneously combust when it was being filmed--Jaime looks at Brienne like a starving man would look at a thousand banquets.

When Jaime struggles to open his shirt, Brienne’s caregiving instincts kick in. She does it for him, and when she finally pulls his shirt off altogether, the scene looks like something that might happen between a mother and a child. Jaime raises his arms straight above his head, and she patiently tugs his shirt over his head. Even beyond desire, there’s trust in that moment.

And it’s a good thing the production crew threw us this bone, because from the kiss on, the relationship between Jaime and Brienne has changed, and not for the better. Afterwards, they settle into a domestic routine that involves sharing one bed. But while Brienne sleeps, Jaime watches her from the other side of that bed and broods. Is it because making love to her was a failed attempt to banish his demons? Is it because he loves Brienne and fears for her future in a world that’s so violent and awful? Is it because he wants to go home to his sister/wife?

Alas, by the end of this episode, we still don’t know what’s going on with Jaime. All we know is that in the middle of the night, he saddles up his horse, and prepares to leave Winterfell without even saying goodbye to Brienne. No matter what has happened to Brienne up to this point, she’s remained in control. If this show actually were the romance novel I wish it was, she would definitely be described as “haughty,” that most obnoxious of adjectives. But when she realizes Jaime will really leave her, Brienne falls apart. “You’re not like you’re sister. You’re not,” she says. “You’re better than she is. You’re a good man and you can’t save her.”

Cersei is what caused Jaime to leave Brienne. But I don’t think it’s because he wants to return to her as a lover--it’s because he feels obligated to save her or at least die with her, as Brienne acknowledges during their confrontation. “She’s hateful,” says a broken Jaime. “And so am I.”

Jaime has failed Cersei before. She suffered in prison and was humiliated by the high sparrow, all when he was powerless to help her. That hurt him, and it’s probably part of the reason he wants to leave. But could he be going to King’s Landing to offer Cesei another way out--to pour her a glass of poison, the same way he did Lady Olena? A painless death with dignity could be his final gift to Cersei.

For Brienne, this moment is excruciating. She fostered Jaime through so much, and she hoped they had finally arrived at a place where he was free to love her. But all her work building him into a better man seems at this moment to be for nothing--Jaime hates himself for what he’s done wrong, and he can’t allow himself to be happy. So off he rides into the dark night, leaving Brienne sobbing.

 Other thoughts

*One podcast I listened to correctly pointed out that it’s unfortunate that Sansa seems to consider repeated rape and physical and emotional abuse a valuable character-building experience. But that same attitude comes up again and again in this show, especially when Bran is involved. With both Theon and Jaime, Bran makes it clear that his horrible past was simply a way to his meaningful present--not something to be regretted or apologized for.

* In spite of Pod supposedly wowing some sex workers with his magic cock, he clearly drinks when Tyrion says “You’re a virgin” during their drinking game.

[ayyponine]

anyway re: billy hargrove

im so okay w him being dead my dudes. season 3 tried hard to make me care abt him w the sad backstory but i could not give one fuck my man. perish

dont get me wrong his sad backstory is valid. if yr young and tender and good and u love surfing and u love yr mom thats gr8 and if yr dad is an abusive monster who ruins you for life thats horrible and no kid deserves that. but while the show was trying to spin this sad narrative of like oh he couldnt help becoming this way, pls feel sorry fr him in my head it was just like. let me play a sad song fr u on the worlds smallest violin while im mentally replaying all the moments frm the previous season in which eg 1. he had that super weird aggressive tension w max in the car before going full psychopath trying to drive them str8 into the kids on their bikes 2. he was clearly upsetting her by being invasive and controlling and forcefully grabbing her by the fucking wrist while saying threatening shit abt lucas 3. (as max sees him speeding his car twrds where shes indoors w the boys) "it's my brother. he can’t know im here, he’ll kill me. he’ll kill us.” 4. “you disobeyed me. and you know what happens when you disobey me. i break things” *grabs and shoves a fucking middleschooler (?)  into the wall* 5. remember when max had to fucking tranquilize and threaten him w violence herself to get him to stop literally murdering steve (video comp of billy & max interaction in the first season)

imagine my astonishment when i check the stranger things tag & see the weird possessive controlling shit get interpreted & remolded as aww he cares abt his lil sister and wants to protect her so badly.. hes just kinda weird in showing it bc hes so passionate abt it..... same @ yt with “hot/badass moments!!” type compilations and tender sibling edits like. did we watch the same show bruv

i mean thats not just sibling bickering like “oh ykno we fight abt dumb shit but in the end we’re in this together ykno” not when there’s a clear power imbalance where max is not comfortable w him & can’t be “sassy” back without getting threatened (smth she does all the time to the other kids tho), keeping her eyes averted, and with him able to switch instantly into a super aggressive mode (by directly shouting at her, grabbing her physically, or speeding off in a brusque kind of way) like... thats not a protective big brother type behaviour man (steve is literally right there) & idk what to tell you. seems like ppl love to point out he said “max, youre a piece of shit but we’re family now wether we like it or not” but actions speak louder than words man. hes a dick

the ACTOR im cool with btw. this season he got to do some more stuff w his character so that was probably gr8 fr him. also hes hot which is why, im assuming, ppl are so ready to be like aw poor troubled bby let me hold u

the fucking character though can crawl in a hole and die. thanks fr finally doing smth RIGHT at the moment you kicked the bucket it was about god damn fucking time. i only feel bad fr max crying bc she’s probably super conflicted w him being horribly abusive & a big antagonist fr 2 seasons only to then turn & do smth to help twrds the end, snape style. bet it sucks fr her to completely lose someone who she hoped couldve turned out good at some point (but yknow, didn’t) but that entire self-blaming doubt of whether yr allowed to feel shit abt being traumatised after long term abuse bc the abuser on occasion maybe showed there was smth more to him that is just. an entire other rabbit hole im not gonna step into and get my full fucking leg caught in rn

(also quick sidenote now that IT: chapter 2 is rapidly approaching i wonder, do people think the same abt henry bowers?? bc that’s literally perfect fr projecting the exact same type of oh hes not a bad person, hes just ~complicated and troubled type of shit. oh he has a shitty dad. yeah hes still a physically violent bully actively trying to murder kids yall what the fuck. being traumatised doesnt cancel out the fact that hes become a fucking terrifying psychopath bc of it and since so many fucking people go thru abuse and DONT take that out on others. hot take but mb you cant put that blame full on his shit dad. we be out here growing up more mature than our dads all the time wtf)

lbr while that entire death was happening i was like ok cool man just die already. @the duffers why are yall trying to make me care abt this shitstain who like five minutes ago tried to T-bone crash into the car to kill like half the crew. i conceded fr a hot second that like yeah ok he WAS possessed so mb that doesnt count but actually, fuck that, if anything im gonna interpret that shit as a huge fucking metaphor of emotional abuse, whether it was intended as such or not! bc a few episodes before that, the fucking sauna scene hit pretty hard my dudes. i mean, the kids working together to trap him, getting the upperhand on the terrifying powerful and more or less human (rather than outright supernatural) antagonist?? who then turns immediately into a diff person crying, apologising, assuming a broken nonthreatening role to make them doubt abt whether theyre doing the right thing, playing with max’s emotions and drawing her close so she’ll be within reach when he turns that full 180 again and slashes at her while screaming bitch & threatening to gut her i mean?? that emotional manipulation paired w violent outbursts just fucking resonated hard and *smacks lips* tastes like textbook abuse bruh (link to the scene im talking abt. i p much explained what happened but still, to see it is a punch in the gut man)

& then later again in a v similar moment, when hes chasing max, mike and eleven and she tries to appeal to his human side as his lil sister only to get knocked str8 the fuck out with zero hesitation. and the fact that she casually knows all abt wound care (i fully believe her when she says it’s bc of the skateboarding but it still gave fucking pause bc of the obvious association, just like the stunned concern the other characters fr a hot sec showed. god). idk that whole deal just made me think like wow fuck. it really be like that huh.

again the sauna thing hit HARD man if anything that manipulative two faced powerplay is just the most succinct summary of how abuse works. oh it’s not my fault. oh theres a shadow frm like idk where taking control of me. im so sorry abt whatever non specified thing i did to harm you. forgive me and buy into my fake crying while i prepare to turn and hurt you again in a flash bc i dont give a fuck about your wellbeing

"but he was abused himself” cool motive still murder

again it’s bullshit, it’s so wrong & fucked up fr an adult to habitually be emotionally and physically abusive to their child and my heart goes out hard to child billy having to suffer like that and even to teen billy having to still cope w that balancing act of trying to keep his head above water. but im feeling zero sympathy twrds that bitch then being just as bad if not worse & repeating the cycle in the exact same fucking way, by being emotionally and physically abusive to a fucking child. thats not a bad boy act, thats not some ~tsundere softboi shit. “he means well” lol press x fr doubt

anyway tldr protective big brother dynamic is steve w dustin. “annoying lil sibling but yknow, theyre family” dynamic is lucas and erica. the way billy gets w max im pretty fucking sure is abuse bruh. if you wanna fuck the actor thats fine but dont try to uncancel your problematic fave w tough shell soft interior bullshit just accept that the character’s a slimy bastard and live w it like the rest of us

[write-havoc]

This Is How I Disappear Ch. 9

Summary: A girl named Chuck finds herself in the exact place she doesn't want to be, living with violent men in a desolate nursing home. After her former gym teacher finds her, will he be the savior she was looking for?

Fandom: The Walking Dead AU

Pairing: Negan/Original Female Character

Status: Completed (story continues in The Flame Is Gone, The Fire Remains)

Contains: swearing, violence, sexual assault, blood, smut

Readers 18+ of age only

Masterlists in my bio

——— Negan’s POV ———

 Fuck. That feels good.

I open my eyes and see Chuck’s face right in front of mine lazily bobbing up and down in my field of vision.

“Chuck. What the fuck are you doing?”

“Don’t you want this?”

She pulls back from my face to sit up and I see that she’s completely fuckin’ naked. And sitting on my dick. And my dick is very much inside her.

“Fuck yes, I want this.” I slide my hands up her soft thighs, past her hips, and up her smooth sides to squeeze her fucking perfect tits.

She starts to slowly grind on my dick as she runs her fingers softly up and down my stomach and it feels so fucking good. I can tell that I’m not gonna last very long, but I don’t really fuckin’ care right now.

“Fuck, baby. You’re so perfect.”

She bends her body down to mine and I bring my arm around her to squeeze her into me hard. Like I can’t get close enough to her.

“Negan,” she whispers in my ear.

“Shit. I’m close, Chuck.” I lazily start to thrust my hips into her. She’s not moving enough for me.

“Negan...”

“Don’t fuckin’ stop.” She’s so warm. And tight. Fuckin’ perfect.

“Negan.”

“Fuck. I’m gonna cum.”

“Negan! Wake up!”

 ———   ———

 “Wake up, Negan!” Chuck yells as she shakes Negan’s face with her free left hand.

Negan has her pinned to him chest to chest, his left arm around her back with his hand grasping her left shoulder. “What? What the fuck? Is something wrong?” Negan blurts out, half asleep. He lets go of Chuck and sits up a little bit in the bed.

“You tell me. You were squeezing me. It kinda hurt. I think you were having a nightmare.”

“Fuck,” he breathes out as he rubs his face and sits up fully. He turns away from Chuck and swings his legs over the side of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees and cradling his head.

“Are you okay? I’m sorry I made fun of you earlier about not sleeping. I didn’t know you had nightmares, too,” Chuck says genuinely.

“I wasn’t having a fucking nightmare, Chuck.”

“I think you were. You were definitely dreaming. You were moving around and making noises...” she says innocently.

“But it wasn’t a nightmare.”

“What?” Chuck is confused as to why he won’t admit it. Then it hits her. “Oh! Oh my god, Negan!” She sits up fully as quickly as she can given her still healing injury. “Were you having a sex,” she harshly whispers the word as if other people might hear it, “dream?! With me in the same bed?!”

“Looks like it.” His tone is almost like he’s embarrassed.

“Oh my god. That’s... hilarious!” She starts to laugh uncontrollably, clutching onto her left side as the motion pulls at her stitches.

“What the fuck?” Negan looks back at Chuck like she’s a crazy person. “You think this is fuckin’ funny?”

“Isn’t it?” She manages to say after her laughter dies down. “Why are you having sex dreams, anyway? Don’t you get enough from the wives?” she quips as she grips her sore side.

“Shut the fuck up. I haven’t gotten my dick wet since you got fuckin’ attacked. My mind has been fuckin’ elsewhere.”

“I’m very sorry my injury took a toll on your love life,” Chuck jokes sarcastically. “Wait a minute. So you not having sex for like five days frustrates you so much that you have sex dreams? Oh you poor, poor baby. How do you even live?” She lays the sarcasm on pretty thick.

“Fuck you, Chuck. Giving me shit. You know, I was afraid that this kinda shit would freak you the fuck out and you’d be scared of me. But, you know what, I’d prefer that to whatever this shit you’re doing is.”

“I’m familiar with human anatomy, Negan. I know you can’t help it. And I know it’s not because of me. It’s just an involuntary reaction. I’m not freaked out because of your... you know.” She giggles.

“Erect dick?”

“I was trying to think of a ladylike word.”

“There’s no ladylike way to talk about hard cocks.”

“Your... masculine eminence?” She offers with a smirk.

“Yeah, yeah. I like that,” he says with a small laugh. “But seriously. If you want me to sleep on the couch-“

“You don’t have to do that. Just don’t... make a mess in the bed when I’m here. If you can manage that, I’ll be fine,” she comments with red cheeks as she lays herself back in the bed.

“I’ll try my fuckin’ hardest not to.” Negan turns back around and gets back into bed.

Chuck cuddles up to him just like she had done earlier in the night. “So living together for a few weeks is already starting off swimmingly.”

“Yeah. It’s a barrel of fuckin’ laughs.”

 The next morning, Chuck wakes up to an empty bedroom. She figures Negan had left some time earlier to do whatever it was that he did around The Sanctuary. She drags herself from the bed and slowly walks into the kitchen.

She opens the refrigerator to get something for breakfast. “What can I eat?” she mutters to herself as she bends down to look inside.

“You want me to make you something?”

“Ah!” she screams in surprise and slams the refrigerator door shut revealing Negan standing on the other side.

“Shit, Chuck!”

“I didn’t think you were here!” She grasps her side and groans in discomfort.

“I was in the fuckin’ office! Fuck. Are you okay?”

She clutches her chest with her other hand and laughs a little. “I think so. Don’t sneak up on me!”

“Jesus. I didn’t mean to.” He gives her a quick look, making sure she’s okay. “Now get out of the way and I’ll make you something.”

She moves off to the side and Negan takes her place, opening the refrigerator door and getting out the ingredients he wants.

“You want eggs and toast. I got fuckin’ fresh bread and butter yesterday.”

“Yeah. That sounds great. Sunny side up, please.” Chuck shuffles around to the other side of the counter and gingerly sits down on one of the stools, waiting for her breakfast. Negan continues to cook without saying a word. His silence catches Chuck off guard. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fuckin’ great. Why are you asking?”

“You’re being quiet. You’re never quiet.”

“I can be fuckin’ quiet.”

“Is this about last night?”

“Fuck,” he breathes out as he finishes up her food and places it in front of her. He starts to move around the kitchen putting bread into the toaster to make himself some.

“I’ve felt your... erection before. It’s not a big deal-“

“Jesus Christ, Chuck!” He pauses his motion and turns to her.

“Well. We sleep close together and I know that happens with men during the night. It doesn’t bother me. I mean, it’s kinda awkward but-“

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me?”

“I thought you were aware.” She takes a bite of her food. “I mean it is your body,” she says with her mouth full.

“ No ,” he drags out. “Why didn’t you tell me you fucking felt it?” His toast pops up and he begins to spread the homemade butter on it a bit too forcefully.

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

He turns around to face her from the other side of the counter and takes a bite of his toast. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Chuck,” he starts, frustration lacing his words. “Is that so fuckin’ weird? You were hurt by men before. I don’t want you to think I just go and rub my fuckin’ dick all over you at night.“

“I know you don’t do that, Negan. God.” She lets out a huff in frustration of her own. “I’m telling you I’m not uncomfortable with you. I trust you. I know you would never hurt me like that, okay? If you made me uncomfortable I wouldn’t be here.”

“Fine.”

“Yes. It’s fine. I never talked about it because it’s just kinda awkward and I don’t really know what I’m doing here. I mean, I’ve never really been close with a man before like I am with you. The only men I’ve ever really lived with were at Rolling Acres. And we weren’t really... domestic, if you remember. Our interactions weren’t exactly... friendly. I’m not sure what’s appropriate to talk about in a normal friendship with a man.”

He lets out a huff. “No. I get it.” He finishes his toast and turns around to pour himself some juice. “So you’re comfortable with my dick, huh?” he asks as he turns back to her with a small grin on his face.

“Well... within reason, I suppose. Don’t go flashing me.” She shrugs. “While we’re on the subject, you’re going to have to get comfortable enough with my uterus to procure me some pads or tampons or something because I can feel that I’m probably going to start my period in a couple of days. Unless you want me to hobble around downstairs by myself. Or bleed all over everything,” she says as she finishes her own breakfast.

“Aw, goddamnit. I’m gonna have to deal with that shit?”

“You’re the one that insisted I live with you. And I come with a functioning uterus. It’s a package deal.”

Negan sighs. “The wives have a storeroom up here with all that shit. I’ll grab you some things later, alright?” he says with his arms outstretched as if she were asking some huge favor.

“Thanks. That’s so big of you,” she responds sarcastically. “Will you change my bandage and help me get dressed while you’re still here?”

“Yeah, sure.”

They move back into the bedroom and Chuck gets her clean outfit out, setting it on the bed. As soon as Chuck turns back to Negan, he begins to lift her shirt up just like he did the night before.

“Wait, Negan! I don’t have a bra on!”

“Shit!” He drops her shirt. “Well, what the fuck do you want me to do?” he asks. “You know I’ve already seen your tits anyway.”

“Ugh. Don’t remind me. Just shut your eyes until I turn around.”

He helps her remove her shirt, all the while keeping his eyes closed. She picks her bra up, puts it on, and turns around to face away from Negan.

“Okay, you can look. Will you latch it.”

He opens his eyes and clumsily tries to latch the bra. After a few failed attempts, and several giggles from Chuck, he’s successful.

“I’ve literally never had to latch a fuckin’ bra, okay? I’m a pro at taking them fuckin’ off, but not putting them back on.” He lets out a chuckle and she joins in.

“You might as well change the bandage before you put my shirt back on.”

“Yeah. Okay.” He gets the supplies from his coffee table and kneels down in front of her to change her dressings. “This is hard on my fuckin’ knees, you know.”

“We could’ve done it on the bed, I suppose.”

“Doing it on the bed sounds like a great idea.” He looks up at her with a grin on his face.

“Shut up. Not everything is a euphemism,” she says as he cleans around her stitches.

“Not with that fuckin’ attitude, I guess.”

“Will you just put my shirt on?” she groans, exasperated after he finishes with the gauze.

“I’m gonna take your shorts off first. I’m an old fucking man, Chuck. I can’t be getting up and down a million goddamn times.”

“Fine. But will you... close your eyes when you take my underwear off?”

“I’ve seen pussies before, sweetheart.”

“Jeez, Negan! I know! I’m just self conscious. It’s bad enough that you’re seeing me this undressed.” She feels her cheeks start to flush.

“You look fine, baby girl.” He looks up at her with a grin.

“Please.” She looks back down at him with big puppy dog eyes.

“I’ll close my eyes, sweetheart. Jesus.” He shuts his eyes and pulls her shorts and underwear down. She puts her hands on his shoulders to steady herself as she steps out of her clothes. He raises his hand up indicating that he’s ready for the clean pair of underwear.

“Here.” She pushes the garment into his hand and steadies herself on his shoulders again. She steps into the leg holes and Negan pulls the clothing up to her hips.

“Can I open my eyes?” His brows are furrowed as he speaks, like he is getting angry at something.

“Yeah,” she says as she grabs her jeans and hands them to Negan. He helps her into them and stands up with a groan, taking her shirt off the bed as he does so.

“So,” he begins as he put the shirt on her. “Did Carson close his eyes when he helped you into your fucking panties or did he get a big fuckin’ eyeful of your goddamn naked fuckin’ body?” His words contain a bit of anger.

“Negan...” She tries to back away from him but he leans into her personal space.

“Did he?” He glares at her as he speaks.

“I was covered with a blanket, okay?” She says quickly. “I was laying in the bed with a blanket over the important bits. He was completely professional.”

“Goddamnit,” he growls out as he starts to pace.

“Negan, stop. Everything is fine. I wasn’t uncomfortable with him. I mean, I was the normal amount of uncomfortable...”

“He put his hands on you.” Negan points to her to accentuate his point.

“No he didn’t. Not like that. Calm down. Please. It’s nothing,” she pleads.

“I’ll kill that motherfucker-“

“Stop!” she yells to get his attention. “I don’t like this, Negan. You don’t have to be so overprotective. Did my mom’s spirit possess you or something?” She half jokes trying to get him to calm down.

“Don’t be a smartass,” he says dismissively.  

“Well?” She shrugs her shoulders. “You’re so concerned about me, but I’m fine, Negan.”

“You just don’t fucking understand.”

“Understand what?” she spits out, suddenly angry at his suggestion that she’s ignorant of the situation.

“Men! Okay? You don’t understand men!” He throws his arms out wide. “Men see a sweet fuckin’ girl like you and all they can think about is how they can fuckin’ use you up. You’re too naive to see that. If you give any man an excuse to put his fucking hands on you, he’ll take what he fucking wants from you, Chuck.”

“Says the man I’ve been sharing a bed with for weeks. The man that just undressed and redressed me without incident,” she bites back.

He glares at her for a few moments before responding. “That’s different. I would never-“

“Of course, it’s different. Because you’re the only man that wouldn’t hurt me, right? Because that makes so much sense,” she says sarcastically. “Every other man can’t be trusted because I’m just super rape-able, right?! I bring it onto myself! I’m just soooo helpless and weak and stupid that men can’t control themselves!”

“That’s not what I fuckin’ meant. Don’t be so goddamn dramatic,” he dismisses.

“I’m being dramatic? No, you’re right. You just go on and screw over the entire Sanctuary by killing the only doctor because he did his job and tended to his patient.” She throws her arms up as much as she can and turns away from Negan as tears begin to flow down her cheeks.

“Goddamnit,” he mutters under his breath. “You just don’t understand-“

“No.” She turns back to face him. “I understand. I understand that you have no faith in me. How many times have I told you that I trust you? But you can’t even trust me with myself. You make me eat with you because I can’t do that right. You make me live up here because I got myself hurt. And you think I’m too stupid to recognize when someone is trying to take advantage of me,” she chokes out as her tears continue to flow.

“I didn’t fucking say that.” He moves forward and cradles her cheeks in his hands. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t think you’re fucking stupid.” He pulls her into a tight hug.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Negan.”

“I know. I don’t want to fucking fight, either, baby girl,” he says into the top of her head as he rubs her back.

“I want you to trust me.”

“I do fucking trust you. It’s just... All I want is for you to be fucking safe. If anything happened to you, I’d lose my shit.”

Chuck pulls back to look at Negan. “I don’t like seeing you upset. And I don’t like being made to feel like some helpless child.”

“I don’t think you’re helpless, okay? And I do have fucking faith in you. A shit ton of it, in fact. I’m just a fucking possessive control freak. That’s not fuckin’ news to you. Just indulge me. Let me take care of you in my own damn way.” He sweeps the remnants of her tears from her cheeks.

“Okay. But, I’ll still tell you when I don’t agree with what you’re doing.”

“Of course, baby girl.” He scoops her up in another hug and kisses her head. “I need to get fuckin’ going. Are you okay?” He pulls back to look at her.

“Yeah. I’m okay.”

He moves away from her and heads toward the door. “I’ll probably be fuckin’ in and out throughout the day. Make sure you eat fuckin’ lunch if I’m not here.”

“Yes, mother,” she jokes.

“That’s real fuckin’ cute, Chuck,” he throws out as he leaves.

 The pair falls into rhythm with each other for about two weeks. Many days, Negan is out of the room for parts of the day making his rounds or going on runs, which Chuck doesn’t mind. She likes having a bit of alone time, even if she gets bored occasionally. She fills her days with music, both from the record player and her guitar, or she reads from Negan's extensive collection of books. Sometimes she visits with the wives and plays the piano for them, play cards or board games with them, or just hangs out with them.

Chuck likes the women, but being with them all together for an extended amount of time is too emotionally taxing on her. They shower her with attention and want to know everything about her. She tells them of her past, but manages not to divulge that she and Negan knew each other before all this. They hang on her every word as if she were telling the most interesting story ever. Chuck chalks all these things up to their being lonely. They really only ever interact with her and Negan. And they told her that all they get from Negan is sex. He doesn’t exactly have deep conversations with them all the time. Chuck is the only one that actually entertains them and listens to them.

After having their first real fight, Negan and Chuck seem to get closer. The pair live together easily with no real problems arising. It doesn’t take too long before Chuck is just as comfortable being around Negan as she is by herself. Even being undressed around Negan doesn’t phase Chuck after a while, especially since he has to help clean her. But she is never completely naked around him, always making sure to be covered up with at least a towel.

It’s been over two weeks since Chuck was stabbed and she is going a bit stir crazy. She has already removed her stitches on her own, but she’s still technically under orders to rest. She ventures to the infirmary in the hopes that Carson would tell her that she’s healed enough to resume her normal life. He examines her and concurs that there is no reason that she can’t go back to work. She tells Negan the good news over dinner.

“I guess you can go back to work, then,” Negan says, not exactly enthused, to Chuck as they eat.

She’s excited at the prospect of working again. She knows she doesn’t have to worry about points, she has so many saved up. And Negan pretty much gives her anything she could possibly want, anyway, even though she never asks him for anything. She still wants to be able to provide for the community, though. She doesn’t want to feel like a freeloader.

“Good,” Chuck says genuinely.

“I think we’re going to do it fucking differently this time. You’ll only spend a few days a week in the infirmary. You'll have a radio on you at all fucking times, though, in case the doc needs your help with an emergency or some shit. The other days will be spent with me, teaching you how to fight.”

“Really? You want me to be a savior or something?” she jokes.

“Fuck no! I mean like self defense shit,” Negan says with a laugh.

“Oh. So I don't get myself in trouble again,” Chuck responds, her smile fading.

“Hey. No. That's not what I fuckin’ meant, Chuck. I just want you to know how to handle yourself if something should fucking happen.”

 The next day, Negan and Chuck change into workout clothes and he leads her to his personal gym a few doors down from his apartment.

“Oh my god! This place is so nice. What else are you hiding up here?” Chuck beams as she looks around. The room has a large sparring area in the middle, a weightlifting area to the left, and ellipticals and the like to the right.

“You've never wandered around up here?” Negan asks with a quirked eyebrow.

“No. You never gave me permission to.”

A low laugh rumbles from his throat. “Shit. You're such a fucking good girl. I love it.” He smirks at her.

She raises her eyebrow at him. “Okay...? So what are we doing?”

Negan walks several paces in front of Chuck and says, “Come at me.”

“What?”

“Come at me. I'm a big scary dude and I'm gonna fuck you up. What are you gonna do about it?”

“Run away.”

“I'll catch you.”

“Hide.”

“Chuck. Come on.” He’s getting annoyed that she’s avoiding combat.

“Just tell me what to do.”

“What's your instinct?” He asks. “Besides run and hide.” He tacks on the end.

“I don't know… Kick you in the balls?”

“Try it.” He motions for her to come at him.

“I don't want to hurt you.”

“You won't.”

“It won't hurt you if I kick you in the balls?” she chuckles out.

“Just come on. Give it a fuckin’ try.”

“I don't know. I don't want-“ She stops talking when she realizes that Negan is coming at her. Fast. She instantly freezes as he grabs her, takes her to the ground, and straddles her, pinning her hips beneath him. “Negan!” she squeaks out.

“Standing there and doing nothing wasn't a very good fucking strategy, was it?” he says smugly. “What are you going to do now, Chuck?”

“Just tell me what to do!”

“No. I'm fucking showing you. Do something.”

“Uh. I'll hit you.”

“Do it!”

She’s getting angry enough with Negan that all concern for his safety leaves her thoughts. She brings her fist up to try to hit him as hard as she can, but he quickly grabs her wrist, and then the other one, and pins them both with his left hand above her head. She struggles, trying to get her hands free.

“You're too strong. I can't do anything!”

“You can. You just need to find the weaknesses. Fight smarter. What are you gonna do now?”

She decides to forego telling him her next move and springs into action. She tries to buck her hips up into him to try to get him off her, but he uses his right hand and his weight to push her pelvis back down. Everything she tries, he counters easily. Eventually, she’s out of energy from struggling around and can barely move. He lets go of her hands, but doesn’t move from on top of her.

“Did you fucking learn something with all that?”

“I’m dead if I get into a fight?” she huffs out, her heart racing.

Negan takes her hand and puts her fingers on the pulse point of his neck. “Feel that?”

“It’s slow.”

“That's right. I barely even fuckin’ did anything. I just let you wear yourself out. I fought smart. And this is not a good position for you to be in, by the fucking way.” He motions to her body underneath his. “I could do whatever the fuck I want with you and you'd be powerless to stop me. You need to,” he taps her forehead as he says the last two words, “fight. smarter. You're small and you're never gonna fuckin’ overpower anyone with strength alone out there. The only people that are left are fuckin’ bigass brutes that will fuck a girl like you up before you even knew what hit you.”

“I get it,” she groans, annoyance in her tone. “Will you get off me now?”

He stands up and holds his hand out to help her stand up as well. “I'm gonna go hard on you with this, sweetheart. This is shit you need to fuckin’ know. I should've done this as soon as you fucking got here.”

“Are we done for today?” Chuck whines, eager to end this lesson.

Negan laughs. “Not even fuckin’ close.” He gets back into position in front of her. “Come at me.”

“Seriously?” she complains. “I have no idea what you want me to do.” She looks at him as he stares back at her, unmoved by her whinging. “You're really not going to tell me what to do?”

Negan's only answer is to lunge forward, grabbing both of her biceps and pulling her to him. She instinctively tries to knee him in the groin, but he pivots his hips just in time, deflecting the blow. He brings his hand down to grasp her thigh and pulls up, causing her to be off balance. Negan, once again, takes her to the ground, this time seated between her legs. She tries to push away from him, but he grabs her wrists, like before, and pins them. Then, he pushes his hips into hers, limiting how much she can move her lower body.

“This is an even worse fucking position for you to be in, Chuck,” he says as he looks down at her body beneath him and places his free hand flat on her stomach, keeping her down.

“I realize that,” she says, thinking of her next move. She knows that she can’t get out of his grasp and she can’t push him off of her either.

“What are you gonna do?” Negan prods.

“I'm thinking.”

“Well, while you're thinking, I could've fucking killed you three different ways.”

She brings her legs up and around his waist and squeezes her thighs as hard as she can, causing him to let out a grunt and loosen his grip on her hands. She pushes up on his shoulders and turns her entire body sharply, taking Negan with her. She follows the momentum and sits up on top of him, straddling his waist. She takes advantage of his sudden disorientation and grabs his hands, pinning them on either side his head.

“Ha! I did it,” she boasts triumphantly.

He instantly pulls his hands from her weak grasp and brings them around her throat, still making sure not to hurt her. She squeaks in surprise at the sudden contact, and paws at his hands until he lets go a few seconds later.

“You can't fuckin’ hesitate to take an attacker out. He'll always get the upper hand on you. You did a good fuckin’ job getting me off you, but you have to take me out instantly. How would you do it?”

“Do I have a weapon?”

“Does it look like you have a fuckin’ weapon?”

She lets out a huff and brings her hands to his neck, mirroring what he had just done to her.

“Nope. That's not gonna work for you, sweetheart. It takes too fucking long and you're not strong enough to choke me out and fuckin’ fight me off at the same time.”

“You don't know I'm not strong enough,” she says defiantly.

He gives her a doubtful face and pulls her hands off of his neck easily.

“Well, I wasn’t actually trying to strangle you.”

“Come on, Chuck,” he grouses.

“Fine.” She brings her fist back and gently pushes it to his cheek, signifying a punch to Negan’s face.

“Wrong again, sweetheart. That'll just fuckin’ piss me off.”

“Well. What am I supposed to do?” She’s getting frustrated with Negan and his teaching techniques.

“What did I fuckin’ tell you to do?”

  “Fight smarter.” That’s what he said. I have to use his weaknesses against him. But what weakness does he have? He's bigger and stronger! I need to incapacitate him swiftly. But how? What part of him isn’t strong?

Oh wait. I think I know.

 She makes a fist and pretends to punch him in the windpipe.

“Yup. That'll probably fuckin’ do it. No matter how big the fuckin’ dude is, you punch him in the throat, he'll go down,” he says, genuinely impressed. “Use that shit. Bodies have weaknesses. The throat, vegus nerve, femoral artery... You don’t need to be fuckin’ bigger or stronger than the other guy as long as you know where to apply the right pressure.” He smiles up at her for a moment. “Now get off me.”

 In the next week, Chuck moves back into her own room, but spends a lot of her time with Negan. He continues to instruct her on proper self defense techniques when she doesn’t have a shift in the infirmary and he has free time. They usually end their sessions at dinner time.

Today is Chuck's turn to cook, even though Negan always does most of the work. He is a much better cook than she is. They finish up with their meal and take their seats at the table.

“So what's up with your face?” Chuck jokes. She noticed that Negan is letting his beard grow out longer than usual.

“The fuck do you mean, Chuck?” He growls out with a mouthful of food.

“You're letting your beard get long.”

“You don't like it?”

She shrugs. “It’s not bad. But if you let it get any longer, it’ll cross the threshold into mountainman territory.” Chuck giggles and the pair continue to eat. “I'm kinda sore from our session today. You rode me kinda hard.”

“You wanna rephrase that sentence, sweetheart?” He gives her a smirk.

It takes her a second, but she finally gets what he’s talking about. “Shut up! You know what I meant. My training. My muscles are sore from it.”

“You want me to give you a fucking massage?” He winks at her.

“Why would I get a massage from you when I could get one from Frankie? She is the professional, after all.” She smirks back at him, not wanting to play into what he’s saying.

“Fuck. You’re doing this shit on purpose, aren’t you? Cuz the image of Frankie fuckin’ rubbing you down is doing all sorts of shit to my dick, sweetheart.”

“Oh, I’m sure it is,” Chuck says sarcastically.

The pair finish out their nightly rituals and climb into bed.

“I think you should talk to Amber. She seems to be having a hard time lately,” Chuck offers as Negan gets more comfortable behind her.

“Fuck.” He groans. “It's always fuckin’ something with her. Aren’t you her friend? Can't you deal with it?”

“I'm not married to her.”

“Jesus Christ. Can we just get to sleep?” Negan groans as he cuddles more closely into Chuck's back, like he always does. Chuck suddenly lurches forward and laughs uncontrollably. “What the fuck?!”

“Your long beard hairs are tickling me!”

“Why the fuck are you so ticklish?” Negan laughs out.

“I don't know! But my neck is the most ticklish part.”

Negan chuckles lowly. “I hope you realize that telling me that was a fucking mistake.”

“No!” Chuck screams while laughing as she tries to move away from Negan. He brings his arm around her and grabs her throat, pulling her body back and into him. She continues to laugh and squirm around as Negan juts his jaw out and shakes his head back and forth, tickling the sensitive skin on the back of her neck with his beard hairs.

“Stop! Negan!” Chuck manages to cry out between laughs.

Negan pushes her down flat on her back and moves on top of her. He starts to rub his face into the side of her neck, causing her to shriek and erupt in a fit of giggles. Spurred on by her reactions, Negan pushes himself harder into her neck.

“Ouch! Negan! Now your beard is just scratching me!” Chuck exclaims, still giggling slightly.

“Sorry, baby,” Negan whispers as he pulls back slightly and places a light kiss on her neck causing Chuck’s giggles to pick back up. He kisses her lightly again, and again until he presses his open mouth to her neck and swirls his tongue over her skin.

At first, Chuck is only aware of the tickling sensations on her neck, not knowing exactly what Negan is doing to cause them. Her giggles quickly turn into moans as he continues to passionately kiss her up her neck to her jaw. The wetness between her legs begins to build as he expertly moves his lips over her delicate skin. Her mind finally catches up to her body as she becomes fully aware of what is happening. She brings her arms around him and buries her hand in his hair as he moves his face directly in front of hers.

“Are you okay with this?” he whispers between heavy breaths.

Her own breathy voice replies, “Yes, Negan.”