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strawbrryshak2 · 1 month ago

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11/3/24 worthms

#jt #im doing better than i was when i made this i suppose #this year was really bad for me mentally #i don't want to define a whole year like this but its undoubtedly true #also like over 60% of my ms paint poetry vent whatever bullshit #is me crying about one person who doesn't care about me #i should have realized earlier u would think #ms paint

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moomeecore · 2 months ago

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im actually really good at admitting when i dont know things its just that people keep talking to me about things that i know a lot about and am objectively correct on

#this is a cartoony exaduration of a very real sentiment #whoch is that im often told that i come off like i 'need to be right about everything'#but i have achived a place in my life where i recognize when i dont have all the info or perspective nessesary need to Listen #and that i dont have to have a strong opinon abt everything #and that admitting that i lack knowledge or opinion rather than masking that with false confidence is better in the long run #bc it dosent put you on defense - makes you more receptive to new information + perspectives + corrections #its just that people will try to tell me their opinions about lawn mowers and im not going to pretend like i dont know more than them #when i do. which happens to be all the time #never met a person whos done as much reaserch on lawns + lawn care industry and related issues such as sore machines #(small off road engines)#i know theyre out there but the chances of me finding them is small and i have yet to do so #and then people try and give me their opinions abt this subject and if THEY dont shut up and listen i go rabid #like i know when its my turn to shut up and listen but sometimes im right and OTHER people need to be shutting up and listening #but also even outside of that i tend to come off as harsh/agressive/judgmental even when relaying info that im not obsessive abt like lawns #its the autism. i just word things blunt and talk with flat affect and dont know how to soften the blow well when correcting people #or even just adding my own perspective + ideas to convo without intent of 'correcting' anyone #such is life i suppose #just so long as nobody tries to tell me lawns are ethical ill be fine #<- remembers when i made a post that accidently got attention abt this subject and melted down #bc the strangers on the internet dont understand that this is my WHOLE THINF #if you knew me in real life youd understand. its my passion #text #im putting this is the lawn tag actually #lawn posting

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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago

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"Bring on The Dancing Horses"(x) - Echo and The Bunnymen × Ferrari Drivers

#yes this web weave was titled 'Bring on The Prancing Horses' in my docs....yes im proud of that....#long post whoop!!! pls scroll back thru and listen to the song while doing so if you wanna experience it better :)#this was originally supposed to be an edit but i have no patience for that and im very happy w this!!#i daydream to music a lot and when i first heard this song i could only think of ferrari seb then sebchal then ferrari drivers in general #but this hurt me a lot to make(for several reasons)#one: AAAAHHHH IT MAKES ME SADDDDDDD!! now im only gonna be able to think of the myth of ferrari when i listen to this song #it rly hurt to look up the pics for this bcs it still feels sore to me and it makes me so sad #but at least i didnt have to watch vids! id probably burst into tears #two: fighting for my life in google docs trying to format the text hahaha... i refuse to use photoshop #special thanks to cofi (@sweatyflytrap) for giving me the idea to put the TPs for the lies lyrics!#its both funny and unfortunate that domenicali was the TP for both felipe and fernando #it would be a bit better if there was a different tp for each but ah oh well #also hehe changed the lyric a tiny bit for the Kimi part. in the og lyrics its Jimmy not Kimi but yknow felt odd to leave it as it was so!#other than that i really really ardently feel that this song fits the cycle of ferrari drivers soooooo well #the 'bring on the new messiah' at the end of the song PLEASE IT FITS SO WELL! with how they drop their prev golden boy for whoevers next!#also omg the way seb's verse is 'you're breaking my brittle heart' rather than "im breaking your brittle heart' HURTS DOESNT IT??????#i didnt included the original opening/middle verse. i def could make it fit but it wasnt a good opening for this post specifically #'Jimmy Brown made of stone' = kimi again. 'Charlie clown no way home' = charles of course!#anyways this is my magnum opus...but nah i really like it! ill only ever make web weaves w random 80s music i think hahah #ferrari #scuderia ferrari #felipe massa #kimi raikkonen #fernando alonso #sebastian vettel #charles leclerc #f1 #formula 1 #we do a little bit of f1 #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion

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lewyn-martell · 10 days ago

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#interview with the vampire #i just found and watched a video on youtube that is a lestat hate and rant about his fans and it was so SO cathartic #i dont even agree with everything said and was naturally at first skeptic of a youtuber's opinion #but finally FINALLY there is a louder voice of someone who can see things about this show from another point of view #even if it's a pov that's more strict than the one i use to analyze media myself #i thought i was going crazy when seeing the fan opinions surrounding this show. mostly out there but sometimes here too #like yeah with how popular loustat is i knew there would be plenty of bias for the angle that flatters it #but the things ive seen lestat & loustat fans say.... the longing for eye bleach was real #but finally someone is there to underline that hey. that very present very intentional racial and power dynamics are in fact very real.#do in fact influence the characters accordingly. and does not come out of thin air or just 'the circumstances'#it's valid to explore the other side of the coin in louis' character of course. but it doesnt mean that it's not there #mind you. all of that shit louis described? is while insisting he was not 'an abused person'#and its so satisfying to see how someone can pass all the bullshit and have the serenity of heart to recognize that #regardless of everything else. there is a reason why louis felt like lestat was a predator and he was being preyed on #that is because he largely was. lestat *was* a vampire on the hunt. an emotional vampire to boost along with the more literal sense #he might disagree to be doing that on a conscious level and he might have clear reasons to have the instincts he does. he still did that #thank you for also calling bullshit on the reunion scene dialogue and parts of the trial in how it was trying to frame certain things #its the main reason why s2 didnt fully work for me. like jesus christ.#that man literally was part of a ploy to murder their daughter. BE SERIOUS. and im supposed to be mad about armand's involvement??#i also felt so seen when he talked about how dickmatized penis delirious to the point of frustration louis is #there is so much to be grateful for. in highlighting the weight of lestat's involvement vs armand's #in talking about louis' family's side of things. expressing how people for some reason love to call armand a mastermind lying manipulator #when the first culprit of that is the blonde bitch??#honestly the irritation i feel towards many of the fans of this show and the major opinions was such #that i was feeling bad just be seeing iwtv content around and i dont wanna feel like that. i like the show so much.#this was soul clearing in a way. even if. again. i dont fully agree with everything #love how its so clear how so many people try to invoke the books when trying to dissuade him from thinking ill of lestat #because thats exactly my experience too LMAO. talk about a weak limpdick argument #and people who try to invoke unreliable narrator are not much better #and the whole story is made up from the writer's head and nothing matters! see i can do this too

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casualhedonists · 11 months ago

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DATING IS SO HARD WTF

#vent to follow in the tags lmao #like. what????#people!!! chill the fuck out!!#i had some dude unmatch with me bc i didn’t respond to him YESTERDAY #and like it’s not that big of a deal we’d only just matched but like?? patience is a fucking virtue?? and i have a life?#he was all like come back :((( then two minutes later he was like ok sorry for bothering you bye and then LEFT #like. fine if you do that but the message?? what??#anyway it came at a bad time bc. a bitch is already in crisis rn #cause i kinda feel like my irl friends hate me for some reason and i already feel bad that i’ve been so busy i’ve not been able to #talk to them that much #and i was supposed to go on a trip with my friend but that’s been postponed (not her fault or mine)#and my car still won’t start. we tried to jump it today and it didn’t do anything #anyway i’m like rapid cycling through major emotions and it’s like mimi chill the fuck out #and listening to way too much phoebe bridgers i know the end #also i’m in crisis bc i’ve made up with like. my oldest friend who used to have a crush on me and when i told him i preferred girls he like #stopped talking to me for a while #that was years ago and now we’re slowly becoming friends again but i feel so much guilt over it for no reason #and i get into avoidant episodes as a coping mechanism and like. i feel like im going into one atp #okay okay vent over im okay lmaoo #sorry folks hope your days going better than mine <3 #｡･:*˚:✧｡ mimi speaks!

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ahalliance · 5 months ago

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i need to do exposure therapy with purgatory i think the fandom experience at the time instilled the unpleasant dread and despair i still feel whenever i think about the event

#though it was also . the event itself’s fault . lol #and the miserable experience it was to watch them play from 7 pm to 5 am every single day for two weeks my time #and yes a lot of my unpleasant feelings towards purg come from my own ass being hyperfixated on the serv/etoiles #to a point where i struggled to Not watch . which made the feelings worse yknow #also like it kinda sucked for everyone it also sucked as an etoiles viewer . man was constantly stuck between the #‘i can’t fight like i want to bc people will complain that im too strong and it’s unfair nor can i Not fight bc people will complain that #i’m going easy on people/not invested in the team’ . and he was right people shit on him either way #like the event marked him in the ‘damned if i do damned if i don’t’ department so much that he still uses purgatory as an example today #and then he joined purg2……. babey girl ur hyperfixation is hurting u….. i actually enjoyed purg2 more tho so idc as much LOL #purg2 was better bc it was an event u actually willingly joined and it included people not from the main server so it wasn’t stuck in #fucking ‘is this lore or a pvp competition’ limbo #anw yeah even though i dislike purgatory overall bc it rly did shitall other than make people angry for two weeks (on ur server thats #supposed to be about uniting cultures . they all spoke in primarily english for two weeks bc the competition model that purg was #was just not built for short distance discussions…. lord)#there’s still some cool stuff that came out of it . my fave highlights r bloodhounds and nice cogs i love them #when i feel stronger i will comb through the vods to write up the relevant stuff for the etoiles miraheze page i just . am still not strong #enough . the detox must be slow and steady #jay rambles #also i am going to bed now i should have been asleep ages ago

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mydr3aminvi0let · 8 months ago

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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back #sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with #idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that #community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize #bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought #he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive #i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better #so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH #my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body #believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how #as a woman #can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids #when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me #when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison #in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty #i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing #but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with #reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers #tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like #i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming #you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in #i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement #singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now #there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart

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jackass-jones · 9 months ago

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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

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lunar-fandom-eclipse · 10 months ago

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Current mood: wanting to block someone so I don't have to see them being an asshole on content I like, but then if I do that I miss out on any content that's reblogged from their stuff, even if I'm subscribed to the post. If the person is involved in the chain of reblogs, the whole thing vanishes from my sight. And then I miss out on good content!

But DAMN do I not want to see anything that person says any more. I was giving them the benefit of the doubt but if anything they've gotten meaner.

#this is a dpxdc fandom issue #and im trying to avoid drama and do the dont like dont read thing #but i really want to see the majority of the content! and blocking that user blocks more than just them!#i cant see any reblogs from their posts even in the notes! its a problem!#i really was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt and just avoid them #but i just saw them make ANOTHER GODDAM POST being an asshole to other people #like. this fandom is basically an improv class right? and the first rule of improv is always to go yes and?#this person is doing a no (full stop).#or theyre coming in and saying “well your idea is stupid because of xyz”#or accusing people of needing to better research and put more time in to their fanworks #when literally this is supposed to just be for fun #and that energy is the opposite of fun #and i dont want any beef! i want to casually ignore them!#but i still want to see the posts im subscribed to!#i want to see all content made by people other than this one user!#even if its in response to something that user said!#i feel like this shouldnt be that hard but it isnt like this hellsite is known for useability

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cryptojuice · 1 year ago

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take this with a grain of extremely drunk but at this point I'm my journey? now? I'm like literally the idealest person in the world and I think everyone else has something wrong with them

#is it autism? is that why people don't just fuckin communicate with me?#my autistic superpower is im TOO GOOD at communicating and everyone else is behind me.#im already in the 'so how do we meet our needs' stage when other people are in the avoidance stage or the self awareness stage #idk. idk. fuckin tired of it #tired of games tired of excuses tired of IMMATURITY #tired of being more grown than people in their mid 30s. tired of being more grown than my parents in their mid 50s #tired of being the ONLY person i know ACTIVELY working on their flaws and making progress #maybe others are just working on things i dont notice and maybe others dont notice what im doing. but idk. people have seemed to notice.#is it because im becoming buddhist? am i like more fucking enlightened or something?#i would hope that wouldn't be the only thing causing such a disconnect cause that sounds fucking pretentious #im drunk cause i was upset. remember yhis if you're reading these tags #im not upset anymore cause i got drunk. and made a really good omelette #but yeah i feel so different from other people. so much better and also so much worse. hashtag paradox #best communicator deepest thinker most compassionate soul. also most horrible awful sinner #↑obsessed with the concept of sin in a fascinating way for someone who doesn't Believe in it #yes im a sinner yes im a real sex demon from hell no hell doesnt exist yes reincarnation is real yes i am buddhist yes i believe in ghosts.#i contain multitudes #anyways #i was supposed to *** ** ***** *** today and i didn't so I got grumpy i guess #i really need to practice the principles of detachment #I've gotten a lot better at patience and calm and meditation but i still care so much about inconsequential shit. enough to drink it away i #i should sleep i was trying to fix my sleep schedule the last two nights #but i don't want to. i want to drink and have fun and maybe cry #we'll see #doubt anyone is gonna read this it's mostly for me #gonna tag this #therapy #so i can find it if i need it #i just miss my girlfriend man. but she stood me up again without a word and it's disrespectful #and i know I'm gonna forgive her

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hotsugarbyglassanimals · 1 year ago

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Can’t say I’m a big fan of flip flopping between catastrophization and optimism based on whether or not something Bad has happened to me but….. mm

#tags cw: suicide ideation #i think the former started happening because of well… -gestures toward the state of the world-#like i do not think I suddenly developed some kind of specific disorder (… maybe depression if anything ?)#but how the fuck am I supposed to weave through life normally when aware of the fact that living in this country is precarious for many -#- reasons… this planet is carelessly havinf co2 dumped into the atmosphere when we know its going to slowly kill us #many more reasons its difficult to get into #i guess thats depression . Silly (im a psych student i should know this)#or maybe im having extremely poor emotional regulation stemming from continued added stressors throughout my life #i heard that can be a facet of adhd (fun…) which.. i guess so lol #it used to be so much more worse until I got adderall and any time I made a mistake that stressed me out it was like. instant Ideation #adderall used to make me feel elevated which was nice but now i just feel normal (which is better)#*(which is better than it was before)

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litt1e-prince · 2 years ago

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living in my own home away from my dad but he still waits up for me to get home

#i was panicking cause 'whos up at 2am. who can i call at 2am- no one will pick up the pho-- my dad. his phone is ALWAYS on loud.'#it rings twice and im like 'shit dad im so sorry to call you and wake you' and hes just there like 'oh dont worry. i was waiting for you.'#turns out: my mum was suppose to message me to tell me to call my dad when i got off the coach to walk home! she must've forgot tho #cause i was initially just gonna walk home ez - it wasnt until the guy cat called me and started following me again that i thought #nOPE NOT THE NIGHT NOT THE VICTIM I GOTTA CALL SOMEONE OR SMTH #so i thought i might have woken him but nope he was already waiting on me - kinda had a moment of !!!!!!#my dad miiight have grown to become my hero or smth pfshhh anyway #ALSO U KNOW I DID THAT THING AGAIN. random stranger starts talking loudly and i looked at him - u give them a glance and they take it ALL.#gotta learn to stop doing that for my own fuckin safety jfc. BUT I MADE IT HOME SAFE ANYWAY SO #me and my dad just talked about our days and mid way he was like 'are you okay? you sound like youre shivering? is it cold or-'#'OH YEA im just cold. its freezing.' 'Ha! trust me there is nothing better than being in the freezing cold and then getting into bed.#best feeling... i know you have your own life now but its good to make sure you get home safe.'#ITS LIKE ONE OF THOSE LIKE. ARHGHGH my dad loves me fuck the rest of yall-#this is for all those people who say i have daddy issues cause i make a father figure out of every character i like-#ur correct but-#ANYWAY SOmetimes forget my dad has unmedicated anxiety. my mans out here fighting for him life on a random saturday cause his kid #didnt get home until 2am. then he wakes up at 6am to help my brother - My guy doing It All.#my art #ted talk

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im-smart-i-swear · 1 year ago

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Does Jiro has ghost like abilities (possession, ability to levitate things, etc etc) or does she just live in Shiro's head?

when i created this au, i thought the best option would be for her to be unable to interact with the physical world in any way(including possesion), beacuse i really wanted to lean into her isolation and how it affects her....... and while thats something i still want to emphasise here, lately ive been toying with the idea of jiro being able to impact the physical world somehow(though it still being fairly limited). i think letting her have some control could have a lot of potential! buuuut i also have no idea what abilities i want her to have lol

For now i think im not gonna give her any telekinetic abilities, bc i feel like it would be giving her too much power......... if she could throw shit, shed go APESHIT with it. it would made things too easy for her. i'm sorry babygirl but i'm NOT giving you the possibilty to throw knives and other sharp objects, i dont trust you to not kill someone:/

i really like the idea of her being able to temporarily posses her old body in certain circumstances tho- maybe when shiros uncouncious?? or like when hes is very tired or heavily injured she can kind of 'squeeze through' and take control back for a few minutes???? idk. i think this could be a very cool ability to give her- it cant be frequently used but can also be very helpful, and also theres so much potential for ✨shenanigans✨here>:) oh god i could put these fuckers in so many Situations with this..........

uhhh. so basically i think all of her influence on the physical world are through shiro. shes here bc of her connection to her old body, and thus its the only way for her to interact with anyone besides him- and shes NOT HAPPY about this(neither is shiro).

#ask #thank you for this ask!! it made me think more in depth about jiros abilities and come up with this so thanks<33333 #if you have any ideas pls share them with me cause im still not really 100% set on everything lol #also im making a new tag for this au ->#two disasters au #bc. theres two of them.. and theyre both Mentally Unwell #also im gonna use this ask as an excuse to ramble about jiros motivation and character a bit-#okay. so i feel like the most importrant things about jiro are her tunnel vision and self-rightiousness #she gets really focused on one thing at a time and then fixates on it so much that she doesnt see how her behavior affects others #so when she gets evicted from her own body her first reaction isnt 'oh god this is such a messed up and dehumanizing thing to do to your #friend. what the FUCK guys'#its instead 'oh COME ON how am i supposed to be the black paladin without a physical body??? what the FUCK guys'#and bc deep down she KNOWS that if she ever stopped and thought about her situation for like 5 seconds shed just fuckin BREAK. so. she #doesnt do that.#and bc her self worth hinges on being the black paladin #she is really protective of tha title and tries her hardest to make sure shiro knows just how much better at paladin-ing she is than him #and that he wouldnt be able to keep the role without her help #she doesnt have any sense of personhood besides her job and so she clings to it desperately #the same applies to her gender #when jiro gets a new body(did i mention that???? i feel like i forgot to mention that. whoopsie???) he #(sometimes im gonna use he/him for jiro for when im showing things from a certain characters perspective cause thats what pronouns #she was using at the time)(if thats not okay i can stop tho) was trying very hard to pretend that hes just Shiro No. 2 and nothing more #to kinda 'make things easier for everyone' and bc he could FEEL the gender crisis approaching and was just. dead set on ignoring it and #hoping those feelings would go away(spoiler- they very much didnt. it just made things so so much Worse)#so anyway. basically jiro is a person obsesed with being Good Enough and respected but also lacks the experience patience and foresight #wnich results in her ignoring everyone and everything else to focus on doing her job Correctly #does this makes sense?? im still figuring shit out with her but thats what ive got rn

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smellyprincetm · 1 year ago

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FUCKING HELL

#i gotta complain cause ik every1 in my life is tired of this #my fuckin ex is being annoying as fuck #that motherfucker deleted all photos of me(as he should) but left the comments ive made #just to have a narrative of me being a weird ex who still longs for him WHEN I LITERALLY TOOK THE BREAKUP AS A GOOD THING #cause IT WAS A GOOD THING.#but he lied and manipulated fuckinh everything and I JUST KNOW that he lied to his friends about me #we were supposed to be friends but im cutting fucking all contact. he can eat shit and die for all i care.#THEN he lies about not having my stuff. i know he does. for fucks sake just give them back so i can forget about you.#i never want to have you in my life again.#IM SO FUCKING ANGRY AND DISGUSTED #he just used me lmao #you couldve at least lied a little better. if youre gonna cheat and do me dirty OWN IT. dont be a fucking pussy.#IM SO DONE WITH THIS ASSHOLE SERIOUSLY #holy shit you could at least be a DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEING AND COMMUNICATE #i was open with you. i told opened up to you. i understood you. i broke MY OWN BOUNDARIES FOR YOU. I WOULDVE DIED FOR YOU.#just for you to do this. with all love i hope you die. in the most painful way imaginable.#YOU KNEW THIS WAS THE WORST THING YOU COULD DO TO ME. YOU JUST PLAYED A STUPID EMOTIONAL GAME WITH ME.#FOR WHAT. FOR KICKS??? GLAD YOU GOT THEM.#apparently my fwb is gonna come w me to scare him lmaooo what the fuck #he has a strange thing towards owning me so i think he will be more than happy to piss off my ex lol

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milo-is-rambling · 2 years ago

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I forget how much I hate the taste of vodka but the whipped cream vodka is so much better my god

#make a drink sweet enough that you can’t taste it when it’s in ur mouth and then all u get is the whipped cream vodka in the burn #makes drinks more tolerable #also this is the fastest I think I’ve ever chugged an alcoholic drink #we are gonna get fucked up tonight bc we have daddy issues and fought with our mom this morning slayyy #smoked a cigarette at the lake now getting fucked up in my room while home alone #life is so good and it’s all bullshit forever #literally we could all die and it doesn’t matter and life is weird and crazy and I am happy it sucks and I am so fucking thrilled to be aliv #at all #life is good regardless of death but I wish death would just like wait patiently for my family #dad I miss u I hope you had a good four twenty where ever you ended up. im sorry moms acting like this. I hope my brothers okay at school.#I hope he’s having a good time and isn’t completely overwhelmed with everything. I was right and apparently he’s gonna come home after grad #uation and im excited to have him home again but my mothers all upset. I know it sucks that you’re dead but it’s nice knowing in a weird way #that you’re the reason me and hunter got close again. so thanks I guess for that. and smoking made me and mom grow closer. idk. you’ve done #a lot for us and most of it had to do with weed. today hurt worse than my birthday. or the six month anniversary. today sucked. and no one #else seemed to be torn apart by it and it made me feel like I was going crazy and no one could even tell #you would’ve noticed if I was acting different. I love you. wherever you are I still love you. and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was such a bitch.#and I wish I took better care of you. but you were my father I wasn’t supposed to take care of you. you should’ve been there for me. we shou #have been there for mom and hunter and your parents and I’ve been thinking a lot about grammie actually. I don’t know how I feel. thinking #about her makes me cry now. I don’t have the heart to make her cry talking about my childhood but I miss her. and I miss being young. I miss #you coming to my Father’s Day dance recitals and coming back from bike week in Laconia and bringing me flowers always wearing your grey #Harley Davidson jacket and you’d have flowers in your arms and you’d be bored but so proud and you’d hug me and you’d smell like weed and #your beard was always scratchy when you’d hug me and I just miss you a lot. I miss you and I fucking hate you for it fuck.#note to self. don’t be pmsing and then get drinking and smoking and thinking of your dead father. you will cry

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boomerang109 · 2 years ago

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spent my birthday money on replacing my loops cause somehow i lost them and this world is too loud

#i only just figured out i lost them yesterday and i wanted to wait a bit to see if i could find them #and then today every noise made me ANGERY #so I was like damn guess I need my loops #but I signed up for the one time student discount and got quiets and engage plus #and the ones I have from before are experience plus so even if I find them they’re technically different #one review of the engages said it’s better than the experiences cause it doesn’t make your chewing echo the way the experiences do and I’m #🙏🙏🙏really hoping that’s true cause by far that was my biggest complaint #like when you’re wearing both experience plus loops you want no noise no nothing and then you have to take ‘em out cause holy fuck it’s #making me own chewing echo in my head? those are the bad days lmao #but the engage plus doesn’t actually dampen as MUCH sound since it’s supposed to work better for being *engaged* so idk. could be good or #bad I’m not sure. we’ll find out #but that’s why I wanted to get the quiets too. Just in case #and hopefully my experiences will turn up and then I’ll just have ALL the earplugs #life of a boomerang #oh I just realized no where in this post did I use the word earplugs #if you’ve somehow made it this far and are still wondering what tf im talking about. loops are an earplug brand and my neurodiverse ass (and #many others. I’m not unique) swears by it

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