#im diagnosed with adhd. i am not hyperactive

[crabofthewoods]

it kind of annoys me when someone who isn’t diagnosed with ocd says that they have it in the context of like, being a perfectionist and liking things to be organized

i don’t have ocd and i don’t claim to know what it’s like but im pretty damn sure that ocd isn’t just liking things to look symmetrical

it’s not a silly quirky thing it’s a real mental illness

some girls in one of my classes were talking to each other and one of them mentioned that they knew someone who claimed to have ocd, and then she proceeded to say that he didn’t have ocd because his class notes were messy

???? since when was it your place to decide that??

[dovedrangeas]

i dont care if either of my parents have adhd too because it doesnt matter.

however. if i had to pick which one of them i got it from it would undeniably be my dad because that man has something divergent in his neuros for sure

[bastardsofravenkroft-blog]

130-160 is considered high btw

got a 192 on the RAADS–R 😍😍😍

[bigmammallama5]

i understand how many people see adhd as the “lol cant concentrate i have no attention span im so weird look at me be funny” thing, and that sadly the only way theyll truly understand is if it happens to them (or some sort of similar neurological brain fog re: long covid).

but even on meds, because they formulated most of them on cis white males, i still slip back into the “lazy” adhd when my hormones fluctuate for maybe a day or two each month. so im sitting here, trying with all my energy to do my job, yet ive been writing on my phone because it’s truly that much harder to wrangle myself today. i’m much nicer to myself now when i have these days because i know theyll pass, but its still frustrating to deal with it in the first place.

[“lazy”: i have the more insidious mixed type adhd, which means i have both hyperactive AND inattentive qualities, and the inattentive traits are what lock me inside my head unable to get out from under executive dysfunction (and coincidentally what made me working my job before meds nearly impossible on some days, and yes i am very lucky and thankful to have such understanding employers who knew i was trying and that something wasn’t right before i got diagnosed) the inattentive traits are also i think what impact my memory the most, which is probably what i have the most grief with but what can ya do lmfao]

[lilysaus]

okay. this fucking picture made me so mad i went on a 15 minute rant to my sister while she was trying to read her book.

so ive been looking at a lot of pictures of posts on pinterest because thats just where i spend most of my time. most of these posts are on the topic of adhd. ive never been properly diagnosed, but reading through these posts has made me feel so welcomed and understood (more than my parents have made me feel, pretending that this is "all just a phase that ill get over soon because pretending to have adhd is just the thing right now") that i realized ON MY OWN that "hey maybe i do have adhd." well.

i found this post while scrolling through pinterest, and it really sparked my anger.

i have a friend who was diagnosed with add before it was considered an "outdated" term and scrapped because apparently ALL FUCKING FORMS OF NEURODIVERGENCY THAT ARENT AUTISM ARE JUST "ADHD".

i read this post and it was what sparked my anger and my 15 minute rant to my sister. people who get degrees in this stuff, or counselors at schools, never really know what youre going through. all they know is that youre having some problems and they need to be solved.

which brings me back to this picture. if you look up "is add still a thing" on google, this is the first picture to pop up. and just seeing the visual aids they put with it makes me furious enough to throw something or someone out a fifth story window. the little girl is fucking SMILING while thinking about the most common shit people think us neurodivergent folks think when distracted. first off, no. false. we dont just think of video games and candy. we think of the randomest shit possible, like how long can i sit here without blinking or what kind of funny shit can i draw on this one sheet of paper.

and ALSO.

you cant just categorize adhd as TWO SEPARATE THINGS and call it good. we dont fit under two umbrellas. theres too many of us. we each have our own figurative umbrellas that only we ourselves can fit under, no one else. thats the problem with neurotypicals. they fit the typical stereotype for humans: we try to understand everything by putting it in a box. those lists of "symptoms"? i match every single one. on both sides. so ha. take that SCIENTISTS. what am i? some kind of freak of nature because i dont fit under just ONE of your precious categories?

i also looked up what "inattentive" means and it made me angrier. according to oxford languages, "inattentive" means "not paying attention to something", which doesnt seem too bad, right? it fits some people perfectly with their symptoms, right? but its not the definition that bugs me. its the example sentence thats used. "a particularly dull and inattentive student". basically saying that if you dont pay attention well to something, youre dull and boring.

im sorry, what? sometimes i have trouble paying attention, sure, but you ask any of my friends and they can agree i am NOT boring in any way, shape, or form. non of them would describe me as "dull". inattentive? sure, but not dull. so to call it "inattentive" adhd, instead of just add, is stupid! my friend with ADD (not fucking adhd, stupid scientists) is one of the funniest, most entertaining people ive ever met. shes an incredible artist, super smart, and knows how to make anyone laugh. does that sound dull to you? does she have problems focusing sometimes? yes. does she struggle with doing something sometimes? yes. but dont the rest of us?

my point is, when i see things like this, it pisses me off. like, unless all of the scientists who agreed "add" is an outdated term have it themselves, i refuse to believe its outdated and i will continue to say that my friend has it. she was literally diagnosed by the doctor telling her "you have attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder without the hyperactivity." THATS JUST FUCKING ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER YOU DUMBASS!!!

anyway, i hope im not the only one who feels this way. i just felt it necessary to get this out there. maybe someday, people wont be so dumb and single minded. in my opinion, neurodivergent people are superior in intellect and creativity, but i guess until someone like that takes over the world and dropkicks neurotypicals into the stratosphere, we'll never know.

[curvylizzie]

Im not sure if I have said this in here or not (maybe I have and it’s related to what I’m about to say 😅)

Earlier this year I decided to go back to college and get a degree in order to pursue a new career! It’s all fun and nice! Unfortunately with a new education came new burdens and I realized something.

Reading was a huge task, writing was difficult, focusing in class was hard as well and i would easily get distracted on things. I was not organized and I was having a hard time in school even tho as a younger person I never had that much difficulty

I used to go to this group for queer people as well, In there I met a person who is just like me, they were diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). A lot of their symptoms resonated a lot with me, such as my inability to stay still or focused, my squirrel like mind (ei. I could be mid sentence when my mind jumps to a whole different thing altogether 😂 it happened while writing this, I heard my cat and I stopped writing)…… overusing f***king parentheses like I just did 🤣 (because every thought of mine comes with added bonus) ANYWAYS!

I got myself checked out, and turns out to the surprise of absolutely nobody that yes! I am neurodivergent, I have adhd (and a touch of tism *COUGH COUGH*) but not only that, aparently I also show signs of OCD.

And it’s funny cuz my brain is CONSTANTLY ON FIRE unfortunately, I can be like “I gotta get stuff done, the room is messy and I need to make content and shit and omg I told my mom I would visit her and aaagh!! The dishes need to be….oh look a bird 😃” and this is exactly what everyone around me sees 😂. I didn’t know until someone pointed it out

There’s a lot more things that point out towards all this, and it’s nice to know this about myself. Because it makes it easier for me to manage my time for one (I am notoriously bad at doing that) and it helps me not be as hard on myself

I am trying to get better, I am working on myself, trying new strategies to get done what I need to get done

Anyways that’s it, that’s the post, if you got all the way here, have a cookie 🍪

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

hii im just adding on to my old one with more about me! new info will be in pink <33

uhh im an indian teenage (14-15 though i look younger) girl and she/her presenting. im very easy to tell im indian. i have brown/tan skin and dark brown eyes. i have black curly hair but the tips are dyed a dark red. my face shape is pretty sharp, heart shape i think?? and people say i look like a cartoon? i have bangs that curl and swoop across my face though they fall straight across my forhead when straightened. 

im pretty short too, easy to pick up lol im also INSANELY clumsy and fall down a lot, very high pain tolerance tho! physical touch is my love language >>> HUGS, FORHEAD KISSES, HOLDING HANDS, just laying across each other?? omg i love it all

I'm very energetic and it shows. Im bouncy and fidgety and easily excitable. I'm very friendly and silly, and just chaotic in general. I'm an ENFP and fit like all the stereotypes and everything. Or if you know Owl House, I'm exactly like Luz Noceda. I care a lot about my friends but im not sure if i show it enough? i come off as a lot at first and am very awkward Tons of people associate me with hyperactive adhd (not diagnosed )! I'm pretty optimistic and positive in general, UNLESS we're talking about my humour- its the corniest dad jokes mixed with dark humour thats a very aqcuired taste, i also LOVE inside jokes <33 Like my vibes are all cutesy and sunshiney except when you know me you know im Very Concerning™ (my friends say my bracelts fit my vibes perfectly and theyre like yellow and pink with hearts and smiley faces but say Death and Arsonist) uhh, im also the mom friend along with the chaotic gremlin?? Yes, lets get in trouble but only if you take care of yourself! (i always carry bandaids, pain killers, ect. though it might also be the part of me obsessed with medicine and healing lol)

i like to read! and hang out with friends! adventures and exploring and doing things im not supposed to

FIRE AND NATURE AND OOO ANIMALS  CREEKS >>> CAVES >>>> just finding little places where we can be ourselves together you know? i really love cozy fantasy and believing in magic and just have a sort of childish innocence (this world is depressing without it :pp ) which also leads me to be pretty gullible :sob: -

i also like to write, though im not very good at it. I doodle sometimes for fun. Crafts are fun too! I bake when i have time but i mainly hang out with friends <33 I love to try new things, though I'm not really good at it lol ALSO I'M BI-ROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL (questioning for both) so i dont mind girl or boy, just SFW thank you so much btw, i love ur hcs so much and its really creative :DD

I’m giving you two different fandom ships

Your Fandom Ship(s): Tim Drake (Red Robin, DC Universe) and Steve Randle (The Outsiders)

Explanation: starting off of the parents I think that Tim would absolutely find you attractive and he would think that you’re one of the cutest people he saw all day. He would love your heart shaped face and love your curly hair with the red tips at the end and think that it made you stand out from other people, and I feel like his eyes would just be subtly on you as he walked by.  he’s also pretty short and I feel like it would be kind of a running joke between the both of you if you weren’t insecure about being short, of course. He’s not super clumsy, but he thinks the fact that you’re kind of a klutz is utterly hilarious and he will laugh at you a bit before helping you up with a smile. I honestly don’t hc him as being very interested in sex, so I think he would totally be fine with you being a sexual and willing to skip over that part of your relationship. He also really loves physical affection too, (to a limit) so I feel like he would be all about cuddling with you and hugging and kissing. But I also feel like he would need a break sometimes from that which you would totally respect. But he would love climbing through your window late at night, laying down in bed with you and just talking and having those deep late night conversations. So Tim is the type of person that doesn’t really use alarms and he doesn’t really get much sleep either. He’s very intelligent and mostly thrives on coffee and very much stays up late and doesn’t get enough sleep so I feel like he wouldn’t be as chaotic as you, but I feel like he would help wake him up a little bit in a way that even coffee can’t I feel like you guys would perfectly balance each other out because he’s definitely a bit more of a tired guy and you’re definitely a bit more oh my gosh, look at that look at this. Watch me do this! Type of person. It also works in vice versa because I feel like he could kind of be your melatonin a bit and help you kind of remember to relax calm down. Take one step at a time not in the way that’s squashing your excitement and chaotic kindness, of course, but more than a way that just kind of grounds you. He’s a bit of a nerd too and comes off a little bit awkward when he’s not in his red Robin superhero persona where he hast to be smooth and he’s just in regular old Tim Drake so I think you guys would kind of be together because you could bond over that a bit and kind of feel like the other person is way smoother or something than you and feel like you guys are really on the same page. I feel like Tim also kind of needs you because he definitely doesn’t take care of himself and it’s kind of funny your relationship because he’s going to tell you oh don’t break the law and you’ll be like well. You take care of yourself you have a broken arm you shouldn’t even be, doing that anyway and then you guys will both stare at each other like “shit. You have a point.” I feel like he kind of makes more nerdy jokes, but he would definitely appreciate your dad joke, humor and you guys have so many freaking inside jokes. It’s not even funny like you guys talk to each other around the rest of the bat family and they’re just so clueless as to what you’re saying because of how many freaking inside jokes you guys have referenced in one minimal conversation. He also loves reading so I feel like that’s something you guys could do together. Just have a little reading and music dates where you sit down and just vibe and then maybe later talk about your books and I feel like he’s the type of person that after reading a book would love to come up with all sorts of theories about it And things like that because he is a better detective than Bruce Wayne himself in canon. I feel like Tim would love film theory (the YouTube channel). Anyway, I feel like you guys could also go on hikes together and that’s something that he would enjoy. 

Explanation: starting off with physical attraction I think that Steve would be very attracted to you and think you’re extremely beautiful. He would love your heart shaped face and the way you look like some sort of animated character just popped right out of television and in front of him and he would think that your hair is super cool, but he would never tell that to you until you were way further in the relationship. He is a lot taller than you and would love picking you up and spending you around and teasing you about being short and because you’re so clumsy, he would probably be jokingly calling you “dummy” a lot while fully knowing that you could definitely beat him in any academic test easy. He’s totally fine with you being as sexual as he doesn’t really care that much about that in the relationship as long as he gets to be with you. He would love physical affection, though it might take him a while to get used to it and you might have to do it later on into the relationship. Once it finally happens I think he would totally be in love with holding hands with you, kissing your cheek and things like that. as for your excitable personality and very ADHD chaotic gremlin vibe I think that you guys would be a great match together because he’s kind of a grumpy vibe and I feel like you would even each other out like you’re one of the only people besides his best friend that can make him smile and he’s one of the only people that can calm me down if you can’t focus because there’s too many things in the rumor something like that. He likes that you take care of him because sometimes he gets injured whenever he’s working on cars and it’s pretty convenient that you always have bandages on and alcohol wipes, and things like that. It also makes him feel cared for whenever you do it. He would laugh really hard at your dad jokes and I feel like you guys would have a decent amount of inside jokes as well. As for your kind of sunshiny side I think you guys would be a great pair because he’s kind of colder and grumpy so I think you guys would even each other out. He doesn’t get reading as much, but he would really love it if you read to him while he was working on cars so he had something other to think about.

[necroromantics]

Properly addressing the drama

For the millionth time (The tone on this entire post is lighthearted and not mad)

I'm gonna start this off by saying that I have made multiple posts apologizing for my past actions, and acknowledging the harm I have caused in the past. I have apologized sorta- directly to Void (my friend sent my apology to them cuz Void didnt want me to contact them which I respected). I know I bring up my ASPD a lot, but please try to understand that personality disorders are dysfunctional behaviours ingrained into someones way of thinking/acting. I never want to excuse my bad behaviour, which is why I am fully open to hearing the others side. I do fully acknowledge that the jokes I made a year ago were in very bad taste now. At the time, I was very deep into drug addiction, in communities that encouraged my bad behaviour, and I grew up with people who held very discriminatory beliefs. This is my explanation for why I made those jokes. I'm trying to explain how my brain works, because it very clearly doesn't work how "normal people"'s brains do, which is why I was diagnosed in the first place. I understand my behaviour was harmful and incorrect, I take full accountability for what I have done, and I am slowly learning how to combat these habits and mindsets that I have grown up with. Its just very hard to do so when these things are heavily ingrained into me, and Im constantly bombarded with drama and being dehumanized and treated like a problem rather than a person. This is the ableism I have faced my entire life, and it follows here too.

I have mental disabilities of my own (very severe ADHD), I have been bullied a lot growing up for it, and also why I actively reclaim the R slur. But I grew up around people who would make fun of me, and people like me, and the way my brain works is that I'm not able to empathize or feel bad for people struggling with things like disabilities or whatnot. At the time, I didn't acknowledge that it was wrong, because to me that was normal and ok. I know now that it's not, and I'm in a place where (for the most part) I am able to try and consider right/wrong.

I do apologize if my tone in my posts or anything has come off as hostile or aggressive. I have a bad habit of that because of my hyperactivity where I speak faster and louder than I can control, which reflects into my tone in text. I have said numerous times that I'm not interested in fighting with minors. My intention was never to cause drama, but to defend my name against people making posts on me, which I have every right to do after they have spent 5 months straight constantly stalking and harassing me.

I do understand that they are all minors. In the past, they got mad at me for not wanting to interact with them due to their age. So it doesn't make sense that they're pulling the age card now. I swear from the bottom of my heart that I am not interested in any of this drama. Ive said it before, but I dont expect forgiveness or people to like me. All I want is to be left alone, and given space to continue my recovery for my mental health issues.

The reason why I bring up their ableism towards me isn't because I want to play victim, or to turn away from what I have done, or use it as an excuse. I take full accountability for what I have done, and talking about my ASPD is my way of explaining why I may think, talk, or act in certain ways. I have been very open about my ASPD from the beginning of this account, and on Discord. My issue is the fact I am being harassed, and have been for nearly half a year now even though I have long cut contact and blocked all of them, because I have "no morality", and I lack empathy. I think that is entirely dehumanizing and stimatizing towards people, not just me, who suffer from these things. If I am expected to take accountability for my ableism, which I have been, then I expect the same from these people as well.

I have screenshots where these people have talked about "cancelling" me on Tumblr way back in January. I have screenshots of death threats, and inappropriate things they have said about me. I understand they are all minors, but my ASPD doesn't excuse my bad behaviour, and their age doesn't excuse theirs.

This was never about caring about those effected by the jokes I made. These people have a long history of trying to cause drama for the sake of drama, and they have tried to do it with another big creator who I wont name. Also my DMs are open if anyone has any concerns, or wants to communicate about this maturely, I've always wished them well and hoped they would find peace and happiness in their lives as I have been trying in mine. Constant thriving off of drama is not good for anyone. Ive stated in the past Im not interested in that. I would like to move on from things that happened half a year to a year ago.

I have already been contacted by those who were involved in the January drama to get on better terms, which I very much appreciate.

I do not have the time or energy to cause unnecessary beef with random kids online. I have kept entirely to myself about this until they made a very public "call out post" about me where I do appreciate them showing me what I still needed to acknowledge and own up to in my past, but they cropped screenshots, not shown context, twisted stories, and have lied about me publicly on other things. My posts have only been about clearing my name and sharing my side. My only concern is telling my side. Anyone else would do the same with the things they have been saying.

I wish them all well wholeheartedly, and I want to make it clear I'm not mad, though I will admit I was for a bit there which is understandable when I have reached a tipping point after 5 months or so of non-stop harassment that I have tried my best to ignore.

I never cared to take any of this too seriously because it's the internet, and I know more than anyone who I am, what I believe, and how hard I'm working. No one else can speak on that, because none of you know me, really. But I have seen how they have insulted people who have nothing to do with the drama, calling someone a 'freak', flooding someones comments on a completely unrelated video, harassing random people in their DMs simply for being in my server. Many people of these are minors. I'm not going to let them do that to random, innocent people. That is entirely unfair how I am not allowed to say a slur I can reclaim, but they are allowed to go out of their way to bully innocent people who have nothing to do with me.

Thats where my issue lies. Thats what makes me upset. I'm a grown man, I have a life, I can defend myself and speak on my own issues. I've said many many times I don't want anyone to involve themselves in the drama, because honestly I think its a waste of time. If they truly cared about what they say they do, they would reach out to me, and we can talk maturely about it as I have done with some people previously associated with them.

I'm not asking for forgiveness, or for people to defend me, or take my side, or anything. All I am asking is that you stop stalking and harassing me, let me live my life in peace as Ive been trying to do, and please leave people alone who have nothing to do with this situation, and that includes my friends. I'm sure none of us want this to continue. Thank you.

(Also, I wanted to add onto the ASPD aspect of this cuz Ive been bringing it up a lot and I wanted to make it clear why. The way my brain works due to my mental health conditions is that I don't have the same emotional responses to words and others problems as most people do. Theres many studies on this, you can read up on it. When I hear certain topics, or words, or phrases, I'm unable to respond with the appropriate emotions and in all honesty it rarely ever bothers me, because I'm unable to empathize with those effected for the most part. I have a very strict moral code, but it's not the same as most people have due to this. I am learning how to combat this, because it causes issues like this. To me, saying hateful things is not the same as believing or doing it. Which I fully understand isn't the way most people see it, and I'm taking steps to unlearn this view. Of course my behaviour and views are going to be socially unacceptable, that is the entire premise of the disorder. Pleaaaase understand that when you berate and dehumanize me for that, youre berating and dehumanizing people with ASPD in general. There are many many other people out there who deal with the same things I do. What also bothered me was the obvious fakeclaiming in the comments of the post, when I have always been open about my diagnosis. I was diagnosed when I turned 18 in a forensic setting and my father has it as well. I have talked countless times about it. Thank you for all who understand.)

[surrealnoctivaga]

yall my adhd meds js give me the BadTM effects of adhd, without it im not hyperactive but with it i am. i made incoherent comments and jokes all over my essay format test just bc i felt silly and funny. sometimes i forget i'm officially diagnosed with adhd bc i never felt like it but now reading about other people's experiences i can't believe my teachers missed it. wtafffff

[velvetvexations]

apologies for the massive chunk of text (obligatory disclaimer, i am not a mental health professional and i am not trying to diagnose anyone, these are just my thoughts as someone with untreated adhd and autism)

@ the "too much energy" anon, i have a similar problem that is likely related to my adhd/autism. i say this since both can come with hyperfixations along with needing to stim, which if im interpreting what you said correctly, sounds somewhat like what youre experiencing. homestuck (lol) has been a hyperfixation of mine for a few years now (honestly might be a special interest at this point) and i cant read the comic/listen to dubs of it anymore because it makes me too excited and i get strong urges to scream or hop around or generally move around a lot (common happy stims of mine)

it doesn't necessarily have to be in relation to hyperfixations/special interests either, stimming can just be whenever you get strong emotions about anything. along those lines as well, hyperfixations/special interests aren't always books/shows/videos/games/etc. i often have come-and-go hyperfixations on crochet and making rainbow loom bracelets (surprisingly similar things!) and of course theres the common stereotype/joke about autistic boys being really into trains. hyperfixations/special interests have existed long before media was as accessible as it is now, as autism and adhd have likely existed as long as humans have.

if you are absolutely sure it isn't adhd, id recommend looking into autism. if you are still on the fence about it, maybe look into different types of adhd (inattentive vs hyperactive vs mixed / maybe more that idk about??) especially since autism and adhd can present differently both depending on just your personality in general and on how you were raised (people who were raised female are often better at masking autistic traits since theres typically more pressure on presenting "proper" for young girls)(obv not to say that people raised male ARENT ever taught to mask or anything like that, its just more common in people raised female and also more common to go undiagnosed/misdiagnosed since most of the studies for both adhd and autism (and most disorders in general) were done on men. because misogyny)(mental disorders are another special interest of mine if you couldn't tell. hehe)

Thank you for this anon!

[hopskip-andajump]

🎉Pinned post🎉

Howdy! Welcome to my blog!! :33

I go by Twig, Tweek, Irru, Toast, Agar, Achilles, Ameata, and Wolfgang and I use They / He pronouns

I am bisexual and ambiamorous

I am a black cat and shark therian :33

I have been diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), Clinical Anxiety, and Depression but I am thankfully recovering from it ^w^

Im an artist and beginner composer / guitarist! I usually make little doodles but every one in a while I make more detailed art!

Examples:

Im a big fan of DOATK, Homestuck, Set It Off, Saint Asonia, Theory Of A Deadman, and The Crane Wives!

I make alot of dumb unhinged posts with very little context (if you want context for them tho just ask!!

I use #Tweek's Art for my art and #Send help for most of my other posts

My asks are always open for joke asks, comments on my art, or any (non-problematic) asks you want!!!

Here's some cool people/artists you should check out!!

Identifyingdemi-sandwich (my irl best friend!!)

KidWhomHasAHat (her sideblog) (my moot/one of my inspos!)

Lord Tablecloth (one of my bestest moots/hehe tablecloth man)

Set It Off (one of my absolute favorite bands!!)

TheF0llyOfMan (super cool artist/one of my inspos/fellow You enjoyer)!!

WebAtrocities (amazing cool artist/one of my inpos!!)

The Crane Wives (one of my fav bands!!!)

My side blog for my mspfa

Gore and angst sideblog

[electricpurrs]

you sound like you have adhd (ive been diagnosed since 3rd grade, am 23 now). its very commonly comorbid w autism. thats how i feel when im off my meds!

yeah i do think about that a lot... i struggle so so so much with attention span and procrastination and hyperactivity and boredom and cant get anything done ever and it ruins my ability to live normally. and i dont know how much those are linked to my autism traits or how much they count for adhd (though autism and adhd often come together and overlap, so having autism might mean i have adhd too) but i do suspect i might actually have adhd.

and then i hear people with adhd talking about how when they go on medications things get so much better. on how their symptoms ease and they can get things done and their mind feels clearer. and my god i sure wish i could take anything to help my situation. but then im just lost again. i dont know how to get an adhd diagnosis. i dont know how the process works, what do i have to do, how i can get medication. i have a therapist (who i dont like) but i dont know how to approach the idea of adhd to him, or if he would believe me or help me get a diagnosis (considering all the terrible experiences ive had with therapy and psychiatry that were actively incapable of helping me)

so like idk. i still have no idea what to do

[fragmented-light-sys]

hhhh i know i shouldnt have looked but like

TW talking about r/systemscringe, as well as ranting and using capslock for a bit.

so i wanted to see something on there.... i shouldnt have because the entire concept of people being like this just makes me mad.

i saw someone in the comments who is an actual mental health professional.... IM SORRY BUT YOU SHOULDNT BE ON THAT SUBREDDIT!! as a professional you should be able to view your patients objectively and try to treat them as best as you can and not join a subreddit that openly condemns anything that doesnt fall into one specific line of presentation (newsflash: not everyone has the same experiences (yes that includes trauma) and not every person OR system has the same relationship with the internet or other mental health adjacent resources). btw the creator that i looked up was literally professionally diagnosed.

does everyone with ADHD experience hyperactive symptoms?? no! some experience them more and some experience them less, barely or not at all. being a system is way more complicated than that but even if it wasnt, it should be clear that not everyone is going to present the exact same way, even more so when you look at how complex dissociative disorders are in and of itself.

to recover, people should be able to come to terms with being a system. while the entire subreddit was just made for everyone to mock systems that dont fit into their either very strict or just simply uninformed view. not only that but apparently explicitly waiting for an opportunity to mock other people by joining system spaces on discord is entirely appropriate for people from that subreddit????

i dont understand how anyone can feel the need to suppress other people as drastically as this subreddit does. for the systems that do join that subreddit, you have to understand that they dont care about you. they see you as nothing more than you see the DID/OSDD systems you mock. to the point where nobody in that subreddit understands what theyre actually fighting against anymore lmao.

like not only once did i see someone actively debating a comment that was literally on their side. theyve become so sensitive in their "fight against fake systems" that any lead to anyone else even being just the slightest form of a system, already sets them off and becomes their only fighting ground. (ive seem them debate with a diagnosed DID system before and the system brought some good arguments to the table but all that came was just "uhh lol u fake, ik!!" basically)

dont get me started on that other subreddit...

i think im done now. hopefully this doesnt land on r/systemscringe lmao because i am just ranting. i really dont need any fucking fights or conflict right now i am busy enough.

[selfundiagnosed]

hope this is not too personal. or word salad. but. i also display a lot of “”autistic traits”” and people around me including my autistic partner kind of diagnose me lol. but i also have adhd and social anxiety diagnoses and exhibit a lot of traits of OCD as well. so i am rly struggling to figure out where to draw that line or if there even is one. how do you Know you’re not? not sure if you have an answer but i feel like i may be in a similar boat so tysm for reading.

sorry i was at work when i saw i got this & just got off!

thats completely how i am, i totally i get it. i have a lot of autistic loved ones like everyone im close to is autistic, my mom, brother, cousin, best friend, and tons of friends. all of my diagnosis are the most common misdiagnosis for autistic people who have learned to mask really well. most of the people who know me and peg me as autistic are not usually like the autistic people i have in my life closest like family/friends.

my diagnosis are are OCD, inatrentive+hyperactive ADHD, schizoaffective bipolar type, and BPD. so like already if i talk about getting pegged as autistic but im not (when it comes up), people who know these 4 diagnosis are all really common misdiagnosis (the bipolar part of the SZA, not just SZA) so talking about it people often take my four diagnosis as even MORE of a reason that im in denial about being autistic. Its a little invalidating to the other symptoms I experience of all of these disorders.

how i know im not autistic is that i lack some of the key autistic traits i guess? i find it easy to understand other people and how they think and feel, im very hyper aware of my status in a social setting and social cues i have never really struggled picking up on. i was extremely early on all of my developmental milestones and my parents were extremely jarred that i picked up on sarcasm and dry humor from a WAY too early age. i think these are all things my therapist asked me about to gauge out of the neurosis was autistic neurosis or like just the 4 diagnosis i had as a teenager all working together to make my brain wiring look very very similar.

of course, this was from a professional assessment and i know a lot of autistic people feel like the diagnosis criteria in a professional setting is extremely out of date and out of touch with especially autistic women and autistic people of color and its been predominantly studied in children for a long time it seems. so, those reasons i posed might not actually reflect what the autistic community knows about it. its just what my therapist assessed in me to determine if she was working with an undiagnosed autistic person. so that my personal experience but i’d be happy to be corrected in this information. i want to be an attentive listener to autistic people and their experiences so if what im saying doesnt reflect an autistic person’s lived reality please let me know!

the traits i do have that are common in autistic people i know are related to these mental illnesses by parsing out the full context of what the symptom im experiencing is, why, and what it makes me do.

so for example i cant do sudden changes in routine. i map out my day with how I anticipate it going and if it goes awry it makes me feel sick to my stomach with anxiety and i start to have intrusive thoughts and the overwhelming need to counteract them with a compulsion of some kind. same with my affinity with colors and numbers and patterns they appeal to the compulsions my brain prioritizes!

TLDR short answer i’d say is i meet the criteria for all 4 of those common misdiagnosis way to a T and autistic traits i only relate to the ones that overlap with my other diagnosis.

[modglobug]

How have you been lately?

Gosh, since I've last answered this question on here?... A semi-rollercoaster to be honest. But overall, its still gradually getting better. Some days have lower moods than others. But this last year has been a big upswing on fixing my mental and physical health despite it all. Gonna use this ask to kinda give an update, hope ya don't mind!

Basic rundown, I got diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2, then had my chest reduction, got custom orthotics for my bad foot, then last week got diagnosed with ADHD- Hyperactive.

As you can see.. it's been a lot. But, to be honest, its all a relief. Finally having answers, and solutions, after 25 years of suffering. Just started ADHD meds last week and.. everything is so clear?? We're still adjusting and increasing slowly, but... I'm starting to feel functional for the first time in my life, and its.. amazing.

Im starting to be able to walk/stand without agonizing pain. I got to see my first concert and stood up the entire show. My chest is smaller, not including the back and posture relief, my gender dysphoria has gotten a bit better. I can try to track and plan around my mood drops and my hypermanic states. I can finally do "simple tasks" that would make my brain error out. Like.. Im taking care of myself, and its not feeling as such an impossible task.

Yet some things have been left behind in the process. Like.. my art. My social medias. I am coming back, but I can't promise its going to be very soon. But I've been prepping something to come back strong. And with it, make a schedule for ALL my comics, including streams, updates, and etc. I understand these last few years I've been coming back in short bursts, and then dropping off the face of the earth again, I know. But.. after finally having answers to why, I feel less guilty and awful about it. And Im thankful that 99% of you have been patient, understanding, and kind to me despite it. Thank you. 💙

[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

in other ADHD news, doctor horse girl was recently officially diagnosed as having ADHD and got medicated for it. very helpful timing, medical establishment! AFTER grad school! but whatever.

anyway, so I was like jokingly like, welcome to the club! and then she told me what specific meds she was on, and it is the EXACT SAME one my beloved and I take. so obviously I was like

✨ WELCOME TO THE CLUB! ✨ 

even harder.

im making friendship bracelets about it

so 3 out of 4 people in the friend group have almost the exact same diagnosis [different subtype diagnosis for everyone! for peak comedy, the smallest most girlish person is of course the one diagnosed with the stereotypically male subtype: me, primarily hyperactive]. AND are on the exact same medication at varying doses.

this explains a lot about how we can all relate to each other and communicate in that highly specific data compression ADHD way. it explains a lot.

it also means that in order to function, the ecosystem naturally acquired someone who can drive places even when not perfectly super perfectly medicated. We have our token One Normal Guy, with the super power to effectively navigate a grocery store instead of going in loopy loops for three times as long to get half the items on the list.

he is, of course, actually weird as shit in ways science has no words to describe. but his brain functions way more normal, which means that we end up in scenarios like

far in advance, everyone vaguely agrees we're gonna meet up for a weekend and we pick a month and place. everyone but One Normal Guy promptly forgets about this. One Normal Guy buys plane tickets and forwards everyone his itinerary. everyone else is like wow, so soon? and we promptly forget about it again. in a few months he sends everyone an e-mail confirming we're still on and letting us know he booked the air bnb we discussed (at least two out of three people: what air bnb???) and here's how we're splitting costs. this will prompt one more party into buying plane tickets. middle booking party will ask remaining party about their plans only in an attempt to avoid figuring out logistics out of the airport on their own. remaining party will go "oh shit, I dunno." eventually everyone buys plane tickets. no one else forwards their itinerary, ever. One Normal Guy compiles a google document of Potential Activities. my beloved responds promptly because this is his bestie. doctor horse girl may or may not open the document for months but she will eventually open the document, probably.

A month out from the event I get an e-mail like: ahah, so, just checking in, what's your favorite thing in the document? [translation: have you opened the document? I can See you have not opened the document. will you please open the fucking document].

and so, it is time for me to look at the document. I will send a polite e-mail about the document. mostly I am hoping that being gushingly grateful in person will make up for being forced into the role of cruise director.

this has been going on for years.

if, during the course of a trip, we need to go to a grocery store or a pharmacy for supplies, we send in our One Normal Guy. One Normal Guy has tried to take various combinations of us with him, but my beloved and I end up talking together in a nook somewhere and lost. doctor horse girl and I end up chatting and shopping and lost. Our One Normal Guy then loses valuable time to corralling the lost and wandering sheep. Amount of times I have eventually wandered near a check out line and seen him on the other side going "???????": incalculable. Our One Normal Guy can take my beloved with him, but only if my beloved is not steering and is discouraged from talking (my beloved has like, a five foot aura of fascinate person and even Our One Normal Guy is not immune). so the point is, if anybody actually NEEDS anything, you have to send in Our One Normal Guy.

intriguingly, there are scenarios where sending in Normal Guy is suboptimal, but that's a topic for another day. right now i gotta open this google document.