#im autistic what do you expect

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

is it just ocean ships youre into or?

...this ask has a slightly threatening aura but like, if you give me a chance to infodump, im going to.

tbh, i wouldnt say im "into ocean ships". i go feral for ocean liners, correct, but like 98% of cruise ships ive come across are fucking awful. plus ro-ro ferries can also go fuck themselves. and im also not really into like battleships apart from a few specific cases, e.g. the hms captain (the last one to be given that name) because boy howdy was that ship terribly designed.

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but like most ship aficionados, im am really into great lake ships. i mean, the great lakes themselves are like so fucking cool and honestly if i had to go to america, id like to see them. because of how unique the geography of the great lakes are (essentially inland seas with waves cresting much closer to one another), you get some really interesting ships coming out of it.

theres the more obvious ships that i find interesting like the fitz (edmund fitzgerald), the daniel j morrell and the bannockburn, but im not gonna retread common ground here; theres plenty of videos on youtube about them.

what i wanna talk about is whaleback ships:

they were dreamt up by captain alexander mcdougall and are a much obscure ship design for the lakes. only 44 were ever between 1887 and 1898.

see at that time, the size of a ship was limited mostly by a ships ability to get through lochs and rivers (and obviously materials + hull design theory) rather than power, which led to the common practice of one self-powering vessel towing several barges. and that became a problem when the seas were rough and the winds were howling. so mcdougall wanted to create a design that could easily be towed, which led to the whaleback design.

the hull of a whaleback is continuously curved, and the bow and stern were nearly identical. things like cabins were in the superstructure above the ship. when fully loaded, the hull would lay low in the water, giving it the eponymous whaleback look. it also looks a bit like a cigar.

while they were easy to tow and saw some success as self-powered vessels themselves, like the unfortunately named christopher colombus which was the only passenger whaleback vessel nicknamed "the queen of the lakes", they were flaws in the design. the curved hull made it harder to create watertight hatches, or hatches that would remain watertight as many warped. the working conditions were often poor as within the hull, its essentially a submarine. they were also quite vulnerable to and in collisions; they laid almost flush with the water so they were kinda hard to see.

i just find them very interesting and the design is actually kinda beautiful to me? idk, its just a bit of shipping history that doesnt get mentioned as much. the only remaining whaleback boat is the ss meteor which is now a museum ship.

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also, as a certified yam-yam (a seemingly insane thing to call myself), i have to talk about canal boats/narrowboats.

see where im from in the uk has more canals than venice and thats a fact any comedian will turn into a joke if they do a show hear. i know theres at least one other semi-popular posts about narrowboats, but if you havent seen it, you might have seen them in peaky blinders because they were used to transport illegal goods amongst other things.

the canals (or cuts as they were also called) where im from were used a lot during britains industrial revolution in terms of transporting goods. and although canal travel declined due to several factors like better roads for cars, increase in rail travel (seriously, you can get a train to anywhere round here) and issues with wages, its still a pretty significant part of our local culture and history.

like in primary school, we were taught how locks work and i remember learning about all of the different kinds of narrowboats. im not gonna get into all of them because this post is long enough as is, but its safe to say, i have a personal attachment to narrowboats.

in the 60s, there was a restoration of canals and narrowboat tourism became popular. you can also live on a canal boat which one of my friends did for a while growing up.

plus we have a lot of very pretty architecture thanks to canals in the staffordshire ring/black country rings (its called the black country due to how much soot would emanate from factories as well as thick coal seam that came from the mines during the victorian era). the staffordshire ring is like a canal of a lazy river, i guess; it loops all the way round the area and surrounding areas.

i particularly enjoy this little area of the dudley canal part of the ring:

this part of our history also left a bunch of tunnels because canals went through things, and theres a lot of these tunnels. pretty sure theres a lot around the country in general? dont quote me on that; i know my local cut history better than the national canal history.

but anyway, you can walk through a lot of these tunnels such as the netherton tunnel:

which i walked, all the way through and back, as a young child with a headlight on that didnt work too well. me dad took me my brother and by the time we were on the homestretch, we had a single flickering headlight left. fun times.

[arosebyan0thername]

If there are a million Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, I am one of them. If there are only two Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, I am one of them (Eva Noblezada is the other). If there are no Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, Eva Noblezada and I are dead 😔

[luvevee]

Hello! I hope it's not rude to chit-chat as an anon. I saw your Mouthwashing post where you said you didn't like Anya, and all of the characters have flaws for sure, but I wanted to defend her a little bit.

Anya picked the pills because they were all she had access to in the medical room. She couldn't use the gun because she didn't have the code to open the case. She chose to kill herself in the medical room because it was unsuspicious for her to be in there and it was one of two rooms with a lock on the door. (The only other room is the cockpit).

I'm not sure if this makes it better or worse, but I also personally think Anya wanted Curly to die too. I don't think she liked leaving him helpless at the hands of Jimmy and she couldn't bear to give him the pills. The door was the only way in besides the broken vent, which I don't think she imagined anyone getting through, so when she locked it, I think she thought that was the end.

Not sure if any of that paints her in a more favorable light, but I wanted to put it out there. Have a nice night/day.

Nah that's totally cool to!

Tbf when I mean to say I don't like Anya is I mainly dislike how people seem to gloss over a lot of her flaws and zero in on her assault, almost in a way victimizing her further. It makes me honestly sad to see how she isn't really discussed as a character while her assault is picked apart in every way possible, because she is a very interesting woman when you put together all the little pieces.

I guess to me with my understanding of her ability to quickly study things is that she still had options to take her life. I believe she could have figured something out in a room full of medical equipment and her own hands. I don't mean that in a callous way, and I also want to clarify I don't find Anya taking her life selfish in itself. She has every right to decide what to do with her own life even if it's to end it.

About the gun: it's such bittersweet irony of it being in the medbay completely useless to everyone, even Jimmy since he had to go find the code anyways. The lightbulb moment I had seeing where Anya hid it makes me further commend the storytelling because wow that just absolutely sucks. You're right and I overlooked that she didn't have the code, my bad.

Personally as a MA and someone physically disabled, though definitely not to the extent of Curly, Anya's choices make me mad. I see a patient completely bedbound and reliant on others to survive, which Anya definitely should have too, having his choices once again taken from him. The fact that they were friends only makes that more cruel to me, Curly couldn't even look away from seeing her die. No matter how she felt about him in the end Curly was ultimately reliant on others and, in that moment, Anya's decisions.

It becomes very interesting to then look at how she went about things especially considering it all. If Anya truly believed in a way she was protecting Curly, which tbh was odd considering there seemed to be a tense lull in things at that point, she still doomed him to suffer and either starve or die of infection. Curly doesn't have the ability to say he wants to live or die, he just has to accept what Anya decides for him through her own choices. She also took the ability from the rest of the crew to even just see him and vice versa. Anya saying she was finally taking responsibility for herself in turn took away the choices of everyone else and the ripple that led to how things finally ended because of the way she decided to do so.

And that absolutely fascinates me with her character! I don't find her favorable but I do find her very interesting! To me Anya's decisions and character adds another highlight to how choices and autonomy are things so precious yet can be taken away instantly by oneself or another person no matter the feelings behind the intention.

[squishe]

im baffled about how so many people are suddenly shitting on transmascs for having the audacity to label our discrimination and making fun of terms like transandophobia and mocking us for talking about transmasc-specific issues and discrimination (which is a documented thing! and we have different factors intersect with our oppression than tma folks have intersecting with transmisogyny! and NOONE is saying that transandrophobia existing makes it worse than transmisogyny either!)

like what do you want us to do? are we just supposed to shut up and take it because us being afab means our problems are "lesser"? are we supposed to say that every other trans person has it worse so we can't talk about it anymore? what is the proposed solution here? mocking transmascs and harassing them and sending horrific anons to them isn't exactly a solid answer.

i genuinely truly don't understand why people are so upset about this and why it's such a big deal for us to label our experiences and talk about it when everyone was falling all over themselves to adopt new phrases when the terms transmisogyny and tma/tme started gaining traction. it's gross and weird. we're all siblings in the same fight here, infighting is pointless and a waste of energy. why are we trying to to beat each other down when this energy would be, y'know, actually progressive punching up and fighting the oppressive structures CAUSING these issues instead?

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

was considering turning this blog into a general fandoms blog but tbh the dungeon meshi fandom is exhibiting some vile behavior after that last ep...

[live-love-laugh-lesbian]

Low key hate how these days every time feminists try talk about weaponised incompetence we have to put a disclaimer that we're not talking about disabled people.

It's just incredibly annoying to be in both feminist circles and disability circles and see someone go "ok but can men stop making excuses for not doing cleaning" and immediately see someone go "uh what if he has adhd and forgets to clean".

[wildevenusian]

i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?

can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit

[arsenicflame]

no bond stronger than the one between the only two competent coworkers

[batemanofficial]

aren't we tired. aren't we all tired

[chartreuxcatz]

bad (?) news: if you like and relate to croissant cookie you 100% have autism or adhd or both

You, uh. You got me there!

[snekdood]

iunno, personally, i think, if you make plans to hangout with someone... and you know they're disabled and cant drive... and you can easily drive and pick them up... there's no excuse not to..? im sorry bitch, you want me to lyft over to your bf's house which is what like not even a mile away? didn't realize it was such a chore to be helpful, lord.

[autisticlee]

no one knows just how hard I work at things. how I have to work 1000000x more than the average person to compensate for being autistic and adhd and probably other things i'm working out with therapist, and having a sort of physical disability i've not received any help or treatment for. everyone assumes I don't try or give up too soon. they think I just started, need more practice. they think I expect everything handed to me immediately with no work or effort and don't acknowledge the multiple years i've put into things. they think I have no right to be upset about still failing to get where I want even after working my entire life to get there, while watching people around me surpass even my meager goals within a fraction of the time and work i've out into the same thing. constantly getting surpassed by everyone around me who seem to barely do any work to get there compared to me. it's all handed to them and falls into their lap so easily. all because they don't have the extra obstacles to overcome and work around that I do. while they go from point A to Z immediately with no major stops in between, I have to go through every single letter and then some, often getting sent back to the start. but it's always *my* fault, according to everyone. it's not the fault of those around me who ignore me, don't support me, don't help me, don't believe in me, etc. it's my fault they don't do those things. because doing the work of 10 people in one isn't enough, just because it's me. and not reaching Z as fast as everyone else means I don't deserve any of the support or help or anything else and means i'm not trying hard enough. it doesn't matter that I *need* to work harder than 100 "normal" people combined to get even half the result! Just because I can't reach what they do means i'm not trying hard enough! ugh.

[nomaishuttle]

sry its just like rly incredibly annoying how much ppl will like. IDK. yes ik a lot of autistic and adhd ppl who do love music. and sometimes it is bc of their neurodivergence yk. music can be grounding its familiar its reliable and comfortable. i think its fine to say Autistic/ADHD ppl often find comfort in music. but its stupid as fuck to say Therefore enjoying music makes you autistic/adhd.

[pubbykid]

i love being autistic for myself and the specific connection with my passions and how i feel and experience things but god i also fucking hate it because of allistic people they make me feel so fucking bad about thinking differently than them

[hikineet-trash]

Anyways if you see me being horny about spacebats at 7-godforsaken-A.M....(Tone: uptalk, false suspense, setup to a punchline.)

No you didn't. (Tone: Flat delivery, faux-severity, punchline.)

Mind your own business. (Tone: Ineffectual non-serious threat.)