#im at the end of my fucking rope
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day #2847838274 without a season 2 air date or teaser trailer mood board:
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being a wheelchair user who has absolutely no resources irl (medical, other wheelchair users, etc) is literally a fucking nightmare. i look online to try and find shit that helps and im greeted with ableist comments, that stupid fucking handicapable bullshit, and more. i just want to feel better for once in my miserable life.
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and NOW he wants me to send him the images i took as if i didn’t tell him they were on the red flash drive for him to save at his convenience
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youtube: we're gonna give you fewer ads but make them longer and unskippable because this is such a long video 🥰
also youtube: 8 fucking ad breaks in 13 minutes of video so far
#im at the end of my fucking rope#they want me to break and pay for premium but what im about to do instead is stop watching and do something else#riley real talk
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i think every eddie girl should be allowed to kill one person who only started watching the show after buck was confirmed to be bi who stans tommy and hates eddie
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and FUCK fëanor. not for the kinslayings those were fine ig. but for putting so many fucking CURVES in his STUPID LITTLE NERD LETTERS
(shakes fist at a problem entirely of my own making) this is not my fault
#three words in and i am already nearing the end of my rope.#fuck you fuck you fuck you#im glad the fucker never got his silmarils back#fëanor hateclub#tolkien#lotr#silmarillion#embroidery#crafts#fiber arts#art#fanart#methinks i can legally call this fanart#lotr fanart#tolkien fanart#quenya#tengwar#img#The Shoes
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twitter crumbling is objectively funny but it has also very noticeable messed with me making a living of my work. idk what to do now if i´m honest.
like probably just find another place but idk where to go anymore. if anyone else who has to advertise their work on socialmedia has any recommendations/advice, please let me know.
#it doesn´t help that at the same time everything keeps getting more expensive#i´m not gonna stop doing this. i mean partially because i can´t. i´m disabled and can´t keep normal jobs for more than a month.#im just kinda reaching the end of my rope tho#thanks elon for being so fucking incompetent (:
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vulture update: so many that apparently multiple people called the police, who showed up and proceeded to say "yup it's a dead dear, that's a lot of vultures, maybe try animal control? good luck" and then left. so that was cool.
#also i got denied for giving blood bc they couldnt find a big enough blood pressure cuff#to take a good reading. which is bullshit because ive given blood there and at other red crosses a dozen times before#so that was really embarrassing. and then when i got home the police were here.#and then they left and my family got home and my sister had a huge breakdown#because my dad was an asshole- like always#so it's been a fucking day.#yknow when every straw feels like your last straw but there are always more fucking straws#because i came home at the end of my rope and had to put it aside in order to be the only one advocating for her#and helping her recover. like.#it's exhausting. im not allowed to have a breakdown because then who would fucking empty the dishes and put the groceries away#and sit with her while she sobs so hard she throws up and get her medicine for her after.#i dont know guys i dont know...
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I would like for life to stop hurting for a little while. Maybe. Pretty please.
#speculation nation#this sounds emo but im just in literal pain right now#geeze what a week this week has been. but i got through it.#thinking ahead... hm. i need to go back over my school stuff. i dont remember any huge deadlines due next week#and that cant be right. theres always Something.#oh right i do have an assignment due. tho it's not a huge one.#i have a project due the week after next week that i'll need to work on. but itll be mostly class time for that.#got another assignment for my persuasion project due... i think the week after next? wont be too hard tho.#and i need to really get to work on reading my books for gender communication. it's almost the end of october.#soooooo somehow i DONT have any huge deadlines this coming week. thats so strange and abnormal.#if i was responsible id work on my reading over the weekend. or do more cleaning.#but i'll be fucking honest kitten im at the end of my fucking rope#probably the sleep deprivation and hellish 9.5 day of bodily torture. i hurt.#i will feel more hopeful and happy go lucky later.#i keep trying to point at all the nice clean apartment to cheer myself up but i am just like. this is my torture chamber. no happy.#i will grab some food and then play the sims 2. and then i will feel better.
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I have never been as terrified in my life as I am right now.
I. Need. Help.
Losing my home suddenly. Have no money to get into an apartment. Have no car to get to work. Have no where to leave my dog when I'm at work. I cannot and will not give him up. I'll give me up first.
I'm so scared I feel physically ill. My head is pounding, I can't stop crying.
I have less than a week.
Money would solve absolutely everything right now.
Fuck money.
Fuck. Money.
Fuck it.
....
...
..
.
If one more person tells me "you'll figure it out" I'm going to cold-cock them so fast their neck will snap.
A man who is supposed to be my family, who promised us a home and security for life broke his word to us. He's completely willing to let us live in a car or a tent in tent city.
His only child and their family just tossed aside like actual garbage.
Why? Because he refused to walk away form the house with no money. Refused to let us take over the mortgage and continue to live in the home that's been our family home since 1996 and be able to keep 2 other members of our side of the family from being homeless at the same time.
Refused.
Unless I buy him out he won't let us stay.
I dont have 30k to give him. That's a years wages for me and I JUST started a new job 2 days ago after a year of unemployment after another man's greed cost me my job.
He sold the company I worked for and the new owner cut all remote workers overnight.
I was there for 5 years.
The new owner didn't even bother to tell me I was #fired until the first day he was in charge despite having talked to absolutely all other employees before the sale went thru.
Applied to jobs for over a year. Finally found something and suddenly find myself losing my home in the same week.
We've been a one income house struggling to make ends meat for over a year. We have nothing saved, it wasn't possible.
2 steps forward one step back i guess.
I'm tired.
I'm #terrified.
No one gives a shit.
I have no one to get help from.
On top of it all I'm #AuDHD, have #PTSD and #PMDD. My meds are barely keeping me together.
.
.
.
What the point?
Anyways here's my dog and my bearded dragon. Wendigo and Franky.
#ptsd#anxiety coping#help#need help#losing my mind#im gonna cry#im already crying#my head huuuurts#grippysockvacation#do you see my vision#why#whats the point#end of my rope#I can save 4 people from homelessness if I wasnt a poor failure piece of shit human being#rofl#i think my dog likes the smell of farts#delete later maybe#audhd#actually autistic#austism#support#pmdd#help us#this wont solve anything but its helping me cope right now so fuck off.#but like my cashapp is $crazeyy if anyone gives a shit.#my own family wont help so why would strangers#dumb shit#idiotposting#fml#bearded dragon
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god im going to have such horrific skin and eyebags at the end of this week arent i
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jr’s midnight motorist is not a fucking bar jr’s midnight motorist is not a fucking bar jr’s midnight motorist is not a fucking bar jr’s midnight motorist is not a fucking bar jr’s midnight motorist is not a fucking bar
#im at the end of my fucking rope here#lost another one to this boys#WHY would it be a bar there is NO evidence of william drinking anywhere#just because a guy is standing outside doesnt make it a bouncer?????#and saying ‘well jrs is like a common bar name’ what??????#why are we pulling shit from the outside real life for context when we should be going with that we’ve been given in game#its just so fucking made up and ALL THE BIG THEORISTS BELIEVE IT#theories#fnaf 6#fnaf pizzeria simulator
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sunmer...... sumnere.......... pleage... pleas......
#literally rocking back and forth i dont want to do school anymore#idk if im not built for higher education or if im just at the end of my fucking rope rn#i want off this ride!!! shitass fucking ride!!!! 0/10!!! bastard!#then like 6 weeks of having no life and if all goes well probably being in oxford for half of it#summer hols please im BEGGING YOU#bue waffling
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ME EXPERIENCING THE SYMPTOMS BECAUSE OF ALL OF THE THINGS
#bo posting#i literalLY cannot catch a break#i cant catch a break i just#wanT#to#breTH JESUS#like i AHHHHHHHHHHH#holy FUCK#good fuckAKSDJHSHAKJDKJHASAHKJLSD#AUGH#i am full of rage right now#if one more thing happens#i genuinely don't know what im gonna do#like i am being so fucking serious right now at the end of my fucking rope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i cant DO this anymore.#GOOD FUCKING LORD
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so anyway the helicopters can see you Through the windows
#liz blogs#project zomboid#AND THEN I THOUGHT HE WAS GONE AND TRIED TO PUT A SHEET ROPE OUT TO LEAVE AND HE CAME *RIGHT* TF BACK#''wow he sure is hanging around for a while. wonder what google says about i- oh. oh fuck''#im on uhhhh maple ridge in that fenced off neighborhood. my fav. i have to build minimal fences for max protection#cuz all the homes are already walled in and zeds dont Attack those big fences unlike player structures#and then i have two walls at either end of the street! so its all closed off#and um. he showed up right when i was looting the house like two down from mine. and i sat in a bedroom upstairs waiting for him to leave#i had to kill like 300 fucking zombies with one fireaxe#it took a couple days and i had to steal a car to drive outside town to SLEEP#it was chaos i thought i lost my base for a second there#it took me like 4 days to clear everything back out OTL#and i am now working on a second base to fall back on should that happen again#back in my day setting the helicopter to come sometimes meant every few months not every TWO WEEKS. HAVE MERCY#i havent played pz in 5 years OTL OTL OTL OTL
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i need to start watching AEW, like, as soon as possible. WWE is pushing me to my fucking limits like i can't do this shit anymore.
#txt#rock v roman reigns wrestlemania im gouging my fucking eyes out kill me now#between this and cm punk's utterly crushingly underwhelming return i am at the end of my rope
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