#im a shit person
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I just want to lay down and cry. Why do I always ruin things by touching them?
#chaos journal#the godson#the wife#i cant be the reason they dont talk#ive already ruined so much#im a shit person
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being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent
#personal#text#gonna miss these kids lol#theres more i cant remember rn but i swear to god some of them do it just to make me crack up when im the only one in charge#infinite sentences kid and bro what the fuck kid are the same kid#he could not give less of a shit about this job it's so fucking funny
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lighthearted.
if this comic resonated with you, please consider donating to this palestinian escape fund (vetted by @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein) as it is less than $7,000 away from it's goal.
i turn 24 today. To celebrate, I made this comic to be a spiritual successor to lead balloon, a comic in which I talked about the darkest period of my life so far.
A lot has changed since my 23rd birthday and this one. My priorities have shifted a lot, in ways that I think are mostly good. But i think the best part about today is that suicide has gone back to being a far away notion. I'm really lucky, and I'm grateful for that.
#yet another largely personal comic that kind of only has real impact to maybe four people#it's crazy what a difference a few months makes#and a trip to the beach that makes you glad you're still alive.#the last page is just me drawing my friends and I as our respective art sonas#credit to my best friend for inventing the designs#i keep copying their shit but its their fault for always having good ideas#ugghhh i love the people in my life so much and im so thankful for them#one of my friends gave me a vintage camera for my birthday#im going to take so many photos i could paper my walls with them#thank you for reading#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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...
#im ready to not exist anymore....#just....#dont even want to explain it anymore explaining feels like a waste of what little energy i have#im never gonna accomplish what i want to#im a shit parent#im a shit person#ill always *be* a shit person#just wanna lock myself in my room amd never leave#im so fucking tired of feeling like this#im so fucking tired in *general*#and yet the only place i can say any of this is here cause i dont want to worry the literal 2 people that actually give a fuck#really wish sometimes it was just me myself and i so i can go just....wander off into the forest and not come back#idk#echo has a breakdown on main
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Good luck during pride month to all the aroaces who are gonna be blasted with "love is love" everywhere
Edit:
This post includes aplatonic people, loveless aros and any other people who fall anywhere on the aro and ace spectrum.
Stop saying "but theres platonic love and familial love-"
#nothing wrong with love is love but pls being queer isnt just about loving someone#it can also be about the lack of love im certain aspects of peoples lives etc.#idk if that explains it very well but whatever#pride month#lgbtqia#aroace#aromantic#asexual#this goes to anyone on the aro and/or ace spectrum btw#anyway have fun during pride month everyone i hope you have a great time#im turning the reblogs back on#but if i see one person say any shit abouy platonic love im disabling it agaain
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not that we didn't already Know belos was full of shit, but it's even funnier knowing the titan was still alive the whole time and probably judging him
#toh#the owl house#emperor belos#papa titan#the titan#art#doodles#comic#fanart#watching and dreaming#captioned#brief visit to ye olde days of memeing on belos... those still get spread around#i hope the titan saw him get his shit stomped in before they passed on#like yes luz was right there but did the titan actually get to see it. i hope so#shoulda been broadcast on penstagram too#there's a piece of fanart i wanted to draw after. i think o titan where art thou. but i never got around to it#because it had animation in it. and im regretting it now#maybe i will finally do it. and something else too#the whole titan reveal brings with it a lot of tropes and ideas that absolutely destroy me personally#and i need to Draw about it#edit - thank you anistarrose for the caption!#''he wasn't Really alive'' you're right they were a secret third thing. the heart still beats. they were still Somewhere#but it's easier to just say Alive. it's not Technically wrong#i try to keep my captions short ok
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i don’t want to live like this. i only exist at this point. all i do is distract my mind so i don’t kill myself
#actually borderline#actually bpd#being borderline#borderline blog#borderline culture is#borderline pd#borderline thoughts#borderline vent#bpd#bpd blog#suic1de#su1c1dal#su1c1d4l#borderline life#living with borderline#borderline personality disorder#borderline#borderline things#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#bpd culture is#bpd vent#bpd shit#bpd relatable#actually mentally ill#mentally exhausted#mentally unstable#im going insane#im so tired#tw sui ideation
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I love how we can pretty much call this Logan “Wade’s Logan”
That’s HIS man. No one else’s. That’s his little honey badger. That’s his big boy. That’s his peanut. That’s his Wolverine.
He actually adopted this guy into his family and now he’s gonna be his for the rest of their never-ending lives.
#logan’s very happy to be wade’s too#bcuz before this literally nobody in his universe gave a shit about him#and now he has this guy who makes loving logan his entire personality#and logan’s just like omg im HIS. he loves me#i like to imagine logan introduces himself as wade’s man sometimes#or wade’s family introduces logan to others by saying#oh that’s wade’s man#sorry guys im just going through something#that’s wade’s man.#that’s his logan#poolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool x wolverine#deadclaws#deadpool 3#wolverine#deadpool
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me when the emotionally repressed character is revealed to have had something happen in their childhood that was completely out of their control but changed them in a way they can never come back from
#text!#did post this on twt but this belongs on the crying about characters website#and yeah this is about jarchivist and also marc spector in the mk show#idk it hit me yesterday that they were EIGHT AND NINE!!!!!!! when their respective thing happened and that ruined me#like it wasn't their fault but they think it is!!! GOD!!!!!!!!!!#holds those autistic bi men close to my chest#should've never smoked that shit* (*took my brother to a cave/read that book)#now im irrevocably changed* (*tied to the shittest god possible/destined to be the antichrist)#edit: this is getting a bit of traction so pls know that blorbo tagging and oc tagging is SOOO encouraged#thank you to the person who added the flaming text miles edgeworth thats so funny
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twitter rly think butch means "looks like a trucker but has tits" like "tank top, short hair, cargo shorts, and muscles"
like do they know butches can be formal? that butches can be scrawny? or that maybe butches can be nerdy?? AND MAYBE BUTCHES CAN HAVE LONG HAIR?!??!!
like not all butches are macho grease monkeys some butches are dorky academics, some are gamers, some are just guys that dont define their style by their hobbies
#lesbian#butch#dyke#butch lesbian#butch dyke#masc#masc lesbian#personally i dress like a 15 yr old boy in COD lobbies and i play video games chronically. thats STILL BUTCH#i dont know shit abt cars but im STILL BUTCH#AND I WANT TO GROW MY HAIR OUT BUT IM STILL BUTCH
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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uhmhmhmmm just occasional thoughts about Daniel's interaction with Marius
#(can't wait to see old Daniel shutting him up immediately)#sorry i can't stand Marius's hypocritic ass and since his role in Lestat's life is unavoidable then i just need to see Daniel's reaction#because old Daniel is definitely going to be much different from the book one (who ended up living with Marius at some point 😭)#like oh damn he isn't going to deal with Marius's bullshit and his “im the smartest person in the room” behavior#and ofc im sure he is going to call the fucker out for all the shit he did to Armand#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#amc interview with the vampire#iwtv daniel#daniel molloy#marius de romanus#iwtv fanart#vampire chronicles#my fanart
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becoming a furry nonhuman otherkin objectum genderweird relationship anarchy freak has made me immune to weird conservative whatifs. "what if people want to identify as animals" let them "what if people want to marry furniture" let them "what if-" is it hurting YOU? personally? or are you just so joyless that you can't conceive a living thinking person that isn't as repressed and deprived of whimsy as you
EDIT: Incest and pedophilia (including simulated pedophilia) don’t count because they do hurt people. I can’t believe I have to say this but things that hurt people aren’t part of the list of things that are weird but don’t hurt people.
#doc talks#proshippers don’t interact!!!!!!!! you’re gross#I always tell myself im above pro/anti shit and then YOU come in all like ‘yes! incest doesn’t hurt anyone!’ fucking what#top ten sentences said by a person that thinks real life incest is glamorous like the incest on tv
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i want floyd to get high at a rock concert and start a fight in the moshpit
#trolls#trolls band together#trolls world tour#floyd trolls#riff trolls#fliff#fliff trolls#im of the firm belief ringpops are a hard drug for trolls#also of the firm belief floyd gets fucking crazy when he's high i think it contrasts with his timid personality so well#my art#i stayed up all night making this shit im so tired
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#bpd feels#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#depressing shit#living with ptsd#tw depressing stuff#im done#tw depression#bpd meme#borderline blog#borderline thoughts#bpd#alone with my thoughts#mentally fucked#mentally unstable#mental illness#mental health#truth#life suuuuucks
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omg maybe life is worth living [i had a decent day] —> i cannot be saved [the slightest inconvenience occurs] —> i am a fucking god and everyone loves me [someone laughed at my joke] —> i am going to kill myself [i feel a little bit unwanted because of someone’s reaction]
and this shit just goes on and on and NEVER stops
#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline blog#bpd#bpd blog#bpd thoughts#actually mentally ill#being borderline#borderline culture is#borderline thoughts#bpd vent#bpd mood#bpd feels#bpd stuff#bpd culture is#bpd life#bpd relatable#bpd shit#bpd things#borderline things#borderline problems#borderline life#quiet borderline#borderline pd#borderline#borderline personality disorder#mentally unstable#im going insane#depressing shit#borderline vent
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