#and now he has this guy who makes loving logan his entire personality

[kendyroy]

I love how we can pretty much call this Logan “Wade’s Logan”

That’s HIS man. No one else’s. That’s his little honey badger. That’s his big boy. That’s his peanut. That’s his Wolverine.

He actually adopted this guy into his family and now he’s gonna be his for the rest of their never-ending lives.

[joelsgoldrush]

“you can use my skin to bury secrets in” | 6.8k

old man!logan x f!reader

SUMMARY: Saliva floods his mouth as you rise to your feet, looking down at him from above. Gracefully angelic, and yet— “I know what I’m asking for,” you continue, your voice descending to a low murmur that scratches pleasantly against some dark and remote corner of his brain. Then you lower yourself onto his lap, your thighs bracketing his waist. You repeat your question: “Can I help you?” OR Logan had always known your generosity would get him in trouble. WARNINGS/TAGS: mdni smut 18+ cursing. drinking. pining. mentions of alcohol. dirty talk. age gap (reader's in her late 20s). logan’s POV. angst/self-deprecation (he just needs a little loving). religious imagery. feelings. petnames. chauffeur!logan. oral sex (m receiving, tiny bit of f receiving). sort of dom!logan. doggy style. unprotected p in v. creampie. A/N: i could say i'm sorry for this, but i'm not. love love love this old man (#needthat). heavily inspired by the song "i know" by fiona apple. @lubdubology my partner in crime who keeps putting up with me, tysm!!! hope you all enjoy it <3

The line between being a good and bad person is thin. So thin, in fact, that Logan finds himself stepping back and forth across it constantly.

Rescuing a kitten from a tree? Good.

Punching a guy at a bar because he didn’t feel like being acknowledged? Bad.

Saving countless lives from mass destruction? Good—heroic, even.

But killing others to do it? Bad—condemnable, scum of the earth.

Where does that leave him? Which side has laid claim to his soul? He’s long accepted he’ll never see the pearly gates.

When the day comes that his body can no longer take it, and he only grows wearier, he’s pretty sure there’s a special place in hell with his name on it, etched in some grave awaiting to be filled.

Maybe Satan’s already counting down the days until he shows up at his door, who knows?

Yet, the more time passes by, the less afraid he is of what lies beneath the surface. He’s learned to coexist with the darkness, with the kind of pain and loneliness that would crush most men.

He doesn’t know how, but he survives it—the agony, the memories, the solitude that hits him from time to time.

And still, he doesn't lose himself entirely. He’s tempted, of course, to linger in the past—it’s always easier to drown there.

If he could go back, he knows he wouldn’t be alone in choosing that path. Some days, it feels like the only option.

But there’s no you in his past.

Logan inhales sharply when your tongue teases his slit, lapping at the precum pooling there. You hum at the taste, your hand resting on his bare thigh, fingers pressing into his skin. Your other hand lazily strokes the length of him, working the inches your mouth can’t take.

It’s clear you’re enjoying this. He can tell from the way your lashes flutter each time he thrusts a little deeper into your slick warmth. A win-win situation.

Letting a girl like you do this to him? That’s bad. Very bad. Red flags all around.

He meets you when he least expects it.

It’s a night like any other. He’s been driving for God knows how long. His joints ache from being in the same position for hours, and a part of his left knee he didn’t even know could hurt begins to throb.

It takes everything in him not to call it quits for the night, not to turn around and head home like a coward.

When exactly his life fell into this monotonous cycle, he’s not entirely sure, but it happened somewhere along the way. Now, it’s all the same: taking care of Charles during the day, catching an hour or two of sleep, then gripping the steering wheel with white-knuckled intensity, driving through endless stretches of road, resisting any attempts at small talk from the passengers he chauffeurs around.

They all try—every single one of them. They think if they can crack his harsh and bitter exterior, he’ll open up, reveal something, anything to make their eyes go wide.

But why? Why do they insist on breaking through his shell? What do they hope to discover?

No one really cares what’s going on in his mind. They just want to feel good about themselves—like they’ve been kind, amiable, empaths intending to fill some empty and obscure corner of their own lives.

Logan refuses to be the person who grants them that satisfaction.

You slip into the backseat of his limo, closing the door with a soft click. The night clings to you, the scent of the bar still lingering on your clothes. The music is loud enough for him to hear from outside, and he sees the people lined up at the door, willing to cause a fight if it means securing a good time.

There's a slight frown tugging at your features, your lips pulled downward, though your voice is still polite when you blurt out your address.

Five minutes into the drive and you haven’t said a word. Internally, he’s savoring the silence, so happy he could jump on one foot.

This kind of peace is rare. He’d grown unaccustomed to it. The tension in his shoulders eases as the city lights blur past.

But, all good things come to an end, because—

“How’s your night going?” you ask, fiddling with the seatbelt to have something between your fingers. Logan glances at you through the mirror, his eyes catching yours just for a moment, long enough to see the faint, apologetic smile you offer him. He allows himself a heartbeat more to take you in before focusing back on the road.

You click your tongue, a soft sound of disapproval ringing in his ears. “Well, thank you.”

He lets out a quiet huff, grinding his teeth together. “I’d prefer if we stayed like we were before,” he mutters, his voice rough and gravelly. His attention flickers between the passing cars and the occasional glimpses of you that startle him every time he searches for the mirror. Cars. You. Cars. You. You. You. “Y’know, not talking.”

“But that’s no fun at all,” you retort, sliding more to your left, nearly positioning yourself in the middle of the backseat. It gives him a better view of you—whether intentional or not, he can’t say.

The lipstick on your lips is still flawless. A sparkly necklace glints just above the neckline of your dress, and matching earrings dangle from your ears. Wrapped in a leather jacket, you look effortlessly alluring.

This entire sequence is enough to confirm that by no means is he going to heaven. Straight to hell, he thinks, allowing his gaze to trace over each detail of your frame. Straight to hell.

You don’t give up. “Your aura is off.”

That prompts a crooked smirk from him, a shake of his head as he mumbles under his breath: “M’sorry, my what’s off?”

“Your aura,” you clarify, motioning toward him with a light jingle from the many bracelets adorning your wrist. “It’s the energy that surrounds you.”

Logan snorts, amused for a brief second. “Well, you weren’t exactly a beacon of life when you got in either.”

You chuckle softly, leaning back against the seat and looking out the window. “I’m much better now.” A pause before you continue, your tone shifting, losing strength. “My date stood me up. Last-minute cancellation.”

It’s not anger, nor is it disappointment, that laces your words. You seem more resigned than anything else. He’d have expected you to sound at least a bit more conflicted.

“I should’ve seen it coming. He’d been asking to move it forward for a while.”

Does he look like the type of driver who doubles as a therapist? He wishes he could understand why you're telling him all this.

“That sucks,” he still responds, because even though he hasn’t gone out with a woman in what feels like centuries, he understands that sensation all too well. “First time meeting him?”

Listen up, everyone—he’s genuinely engaging in conversation with another soul. This doesn’t happen often.

He hears you hum, eyes still trained on the outside world. You sigh, crossing your arms over your torso. “Would you mind rolling your window up? I’m kind of freezing here.”

“I’d mind that very much,” he says, his voice carrying its usual gruff edge. He fights the urge to grin, but then you unbuckle your seatbelt, leaning in closer to him. Your body is wedged between his seat and the passenger’s, and he perceives your stare boring into his side profile. “Put your seatbelt back on.” 

“You’re fucking with me.” Your finger taps his shoulder once, twice. “First, I get all dolled up for an idiot who bails on me, and now you have the nerve to make fun of me? Give me a break.”

Your eyes stay on him, a smile plastered on your face, anticipating any possible answer.

Crack, crack, crack—you intend to break through his shell, watching him from the front row, waiting for the moment it gives way.

Before you can say more, he cuts you off. “Seatbelt.”

It’s a command, an instruction, and you comply without hesitation.

Warmth pools and stirs low in his gut as he notes how quickly you obey him. 

Would you still look at him like that if you knew the blood he’s scrubbed off his hands? The flesh that his claws have shredded? The names of the lives he’s taken?

Would your warm gaze turn cold, filled with dread instead of curiosity?

Maybe this is hell. Are you the Devil in disguise, tempting him to cross a line he won’t be able to come back from?

A few minutes later, he pulls up to your building. A really nice one, he notes. You announce you live on the sixth floor. He doesn’t need to know that, does he? Why would you tell him that? Why give that piece of information to a complete stranger?

You linger in the backseat, as though you’re expecting him to turn and look at you. And he does, though not for the reason you might expect. “You got everything?”

Eager and full of life, you nod, clutching your purse to your chest. You avert your gaze to read his ID tag, the one that contains his personal details. “James?”

“Glad you can read,” he utters, pulling out a small bottle of liquor from under the seat. He drains it all in one go, savoring the fleeting burn as it slides down his throat, which is enough to keep him going. “C’mon, kid. I already charged you.”

“You drink while you drive?”

“Keeps me entertained,” he says dryly. It’s the only thing he knows how to do. Raising the empty bottle in your direction, he arches a brow. “Goodnight, darlin’. Leave me a good review on your way out.”

You roll your eyes at him, silent as you exit the vehicle, closing the door behind you. While fumbling for your keys, four words escape your mouth. Casual yet devastating, they ruin him: “I’ll see you around.” 

For a couple of days, you don’t bother him again. Bother—notice the implication of the verb in question.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t think of you after that drive. Each time his phone buzzes, a small, restless part of him hopes it’s you, asking for his services, wanting him to be the one you seek out.

And it happens. The best things seem to occur when the moon hangs high and bright.

You: Hi.

He stares at the message, recognition washing over him. He knows it’s you; he can see the other texts you exchanged that night he took you home.

You: Are you working tonight?

You’ve got to be kidding him.

Logan: Why are you texting me?

He types the words with frustration, his thumb hovering over the screen longer than usual. 

You: Why are you answering me?

Oh, you’re smart. 

Logan: Take my advice. Talk to a guy your own age.

You: Damn. Already jumping to conclusions. I was just going to ask you if you wanted to have a drink with me.

Logan: I’m busy.

You: Well, what time do you get off?

Logan: I work all night.

You: Can’t even make a quick stop? I swear it won’t take you more than twenty minutes.

An impulse to throw his phone out the window surges within him, but he manages to restrain himself.

Then, as if on cue, the device vibrates again—of course, it’s you.

You: The drinks are on me. Let me know if you change your mind.

Do you think he’s going to let you pay for him? Absolutely not. 

What surprises him more than the message is how easily he remembers your address. It appears to be ingrained in his mind.

He cancels his next trip, scheduled for ten minutes from now, his new destination being your building.

Once he pulls up, he does what feels most natural: he honks. Multiple times. Maybe he’s lucky and you’ll tell him to fuck off.

But you don’t. You’re laughing as you make your way over to the limo, sliding into the backseat in the same way you did a week ago. Your plan had succeeded—you had him exactly where you wanted.

Far from hiding it, you make it evident, obvious. Your heartbeat thrums in the air, and Logan can hear it loud and clear, like the bass in one of those funky songs he likes.

There’s no room for mistakes. He won’t deny it. Even if the feeling is mutual, he can’t shake the idea that he’s doing something wrong.

In his eyes, you’re the forbidden fruit—irresistible, the ultimate temptation known to humankind, camouflaged in the fur of a pretty woman.

You, his paradise on earth, could only lead to one thing: a longing for a chance with you, which he should never be granted in the first place.

He’s diving headfirst into disgrace, and the more he realizes it, the worse it feels. If he were to be scolded like a child, maybe he’d feel relieved, but he’s no kid. He’s a grown-ass man who should be able to resist.

Yet, self-restraint is like sand slipping through his fingers—never lasting long enough.

“You came.” Astonishment. Uncertainty. Amusement. Blinking your eyes at him, you sit very upright, and you don't even bother fastening your seatbelt. “Honestly? I thought you were going to block me.”

I can’t, he thinks. I wouldn’t be able to. I’m not that strong.

“What happened this time? Another failed date?” he inquires, still not starting the car. A look of perplexity appears on your features, puzzled about why he’s not moving. “Ain’t you forgetting something?” He tugs on his own seatbelt for emphasis, the fabric snapping back into place against his coat.

Once again, you follow his lead. “I don’t need to get stood up to want to see you,” you say, placing your hand on his shoulder for balance—or so he tells himself. It takes him all his willpower not to collapse right then and there. “Besides, I’m not bad company. I’ve been told I can be pretty funny.” 

“I see…” he trails off, catching your gaze through the rearview mirror, not shocked in the slightest to find you waiting for him to look back. “Where to?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you should. You invited me.”

How easy it is to make your chest rumble with laughter, the genuine sound bubbling up, pure and unrestrained. He feels like some amateur comedian who has just realized his real passion is to cause this type of response in others.

Except, it’s not just anyone’s laughter he insists on provoking—it’s yours, and yours alone.

An unsettling sensation envelops him the second you retrieve your hand, not before squeezing his shoulder in a friendly manner. “There’s a bar I go to with my friends sometimes,” you suggest after a beat, shoving your phone in the pocket of your jacket. “We could try that one.”

The moment he steps inside, regret washes over him. Why is everyone here under forty? He feels ancient, like fucking Fred Flintstone.

A fossil out of place, meant to dwell in the shadows, not in a scene like this.

When he freezes in the middle of the bar, your fingers intertwine with his, tugging him along, and he follows after you like a lost puppy. The only thing he’s missing is the leash.

You’re met with his quirked eyebrows as you peer into his eyes over your shoulder, a toothy grin threatening to shake the floor beneath his feet. “You know, people usually sit down before they start getting shit-faced.”

“I’m not getting drunk tonight.” Logan exhales a deep breath, trying to hide his discomfort, his eyes scanning the room. “And neither are you,” he practically yells in your ear trying to make himself heard above the pounding music and incessant chatter. He wonders if you even hear him at all.

The two of you eventually settle at the counter, drinking in silence. Logan half-expects one of your comments to pierce through the quiet, but you delight in proving him wrong.

Instead, your head sways gently to the rhythm of the song playing in the background, and you take a trial sip of your beer.

He’s acutely aware of the stares from the rest of the patrons. He can pretend to be oblivious, but the weight of several pairs of eyes burning holes into the back of his neck doesn’t go unnoticed.

Being watched has never been his favorite pastime, and somehow, it feels even more uncomfortable with you by his side.

He knows what those looks imply, can nearly taste the hidden implications behind each fleeting glance.

What’s a girl like you doing with a man like him? A question that makes no sense.

Does he have money? A well-endowed reputation? Did he recently inherit any properties?

Are you truly that desperate for human contact?

Is your bed so cold that you decide to go for the first guy who can string ten words together?

Logan doubts whether this whole experiment is part of the community service you must be doing. Maybe he should look up your name online to see if any criminal records come to the surface.

Now that he takes a moment to ponder it, you certainly fit the mold of the criminal type. The kind who gets what she wants when she wants it, leaving a trail of intrigue on her wake.

His fingers circle the glass so tightly he fears it might shatter into a million shards. You notice his tension, nudging his arm with yours, aiming to meet his eyes.

When you do (because, as he said, criminals have their own ways), you smile, and he internalizes that gesture as something familiar, something he feels he’s grown used to. Something rankled in his memory.

It’s as if he’s known you for a lifetime.

“Thank you for coming,” you say softly, and he may be going down the path of hallucinations,  but your attention remains a little too long on his lips. Then, just as quickly, it flickers back to the rest of his face, and you lean back to drink from your beer once more.

Straight to hell, he thinks, tasting the remnants of whiskey on his tongue, for ever daring to believe himself worthy of even a moment of your precious time.

You’re probably the first person to have his full, undivided attention. And that’s… well, that’s saying something.

Most days, you’re pretty talkative, a steady stream of conversation, your words pouring out in an endless flow.

You tell him about your family, your career, that pet of yours that died when you were six years old. You mention a friend you no longer speak to, and the events that led to the downfall of your friendship.

There’s also that dish from your all-time favorite restaurant, the one you buy at least once a week because it never fails to comfort you.

Nonstop, you talk and talk, and Logan doesn’t mind one bit. Soon, he finds himself becoming an active listener—asking follow-up questions, chuckling at your jokes, even when they’re not funny at all.

He sincerely cares about what you have to say.

This whole situation with you is beyond his comprehension. Before he realizes it, you start wanting to spend more time with him.

Sometimes, you ride along in the passenger seat while he drives aimlessly through the city.

Sometimes, you invite him over, cook a meal, and he always takes the leftovers with him, as if a part of you goes with him when he leaves.

Sometimes, you come over to his place, and the roles reverse—you’re the one with the mic, asking the questions, fully aware that you’re treading on holy ground. 

Logan’s got a sign on his forehead that reads ‘Stop: do not enter.’ It’s rough around the edges, hardened by the years, all capital letters in stark blank ink. But in the end, you just take the sign and set it aside.

He never goes into too much detail. Not because he doesn’t trust you—it’s just that there’s too much to unpack, and you don’t need to know all of it. You’ll be better off not carrying the garbage he does.

Yet, you’ve got him by the throat, encouraging him to cough up disjoined pieces of his life, bits of his day, his thoughts, his feelings. It sounds stupid to him, but you make him feel alive. 

You never judge him, never flinch when he brings up stories from his past. As he sits at your table one afternoon, you look at his hands, his claws fully extended, and you don’t shy away. You rub the pad of your thumb across the rough skin of his knuckles, right where the adamantium tears through his flesh.

You don’t care that he’s a mutant, that he’s killed people. You don’t try to deny who he is or what he’s done. Oddly enough, you just wish to be by his side, staring off into the void with him. 

“But why?” he asks, partly flattered, partly frustrated. This could be compared to learning a new sport from scratch—he can’t figure you out, can’t understand why you haven’t run the other way yet.

He likes your company, though he’s always bracing himself for the inevitable day you find a better hobby and leave.

Your reasoning defies logic, and he’s afraid that at any moment, you’ll grasp the gravity of your choices.

Almost as if you could feel the turmoil brewing in his mind, you simply say: “You’re nice to be around.”

Nice. Nice. Nice. He’d cackle if he were alone. That word reverberates through him. When was the last time someone called him nice?

Bad-tempered, sure.

A pain in the ass? Definitely.

But nice? Not a term people employed to describe him.

It’s a quality reserved for you, with your endless charisma and kind heart, but not for a man of his kind.

He’s nothing more than a chauffeur, a driver, someone who does and says what’s necessary to survive. Does that make him nice? 

When he tells you he’s probably going to hell, you don’t try to make him feel better. Anyone else in your position might try to soothe him, to offer some hollow reassurance.

Your intention isn’t to change him, for him to pretend to be something he’s not. “Then I’ll meet you there,” you mutter, your shiny eyes searing into his. Under the table, your hand finds his, tender fingers grazing over his knuckles, and for once, he doesn’t pull away.

Could it be that an afterlife catching fire doesn’t sound so bad after all?

As much as he likes to admit how easily you can shift his mood, today is not one of those days.

He’s had a nightmare—nothing new, but this one had been… different. The empty bottle on the nightstand hadn’t been of any help; it never does when they visit him in his sleep.

The ghosts of those who used to be his friends, his family, tiptoe around his dreams in the form of shadows.

Blood. Screams. Shouts of his name. He can’t save them all. Walking through the wreckage, he dodges the bodies of those he couldn’t protect, the knot in his throat tightening with every step, not allowing him to breathe.

Wherever he turns, there’s death, destruction. Sadness. Did he save them all?

It’s always the same routine. He wakes up, screaming, chest aching from the effort. His lungs burn, and he has to remind himself that the limbs attached to him are his own and not the remnants of an immobile corpse.

Sweat clings to his skin, pooling at his temples and nape. He wipes it away with the back of his hand, rubbing at the soreness in his neck.

His phone rings somewhere in the distance, pulling him from his dizzy state. He scrambles to his feet, accepting the call just before it hits voicemail.

It's you. Despite it being late, he swears he feels the gentle kiss of the sun over his brow. Your sweet voice chases away the lingering shadows of his dreams, replacing the bitter taste in his mouth with something real—a reason to get up, to start moving.

He holds onto every second of the brief call, replaying those thirty seconds in his head as he steps into the shower. When the cold water shocks his system, it pulls him fully back to consciousness. He has to get ready.

Even though you insist on getting a taxi, he refuses. He doesn’t mind the drive. His gas tank does, his wallet maybe, but Logan? He just doesn’t.

At the end of the day, he’s protective by nature, and who knows what kind of men are roaming the streets at night?

God forbid they’re anything like him—eager to prompt a smile from you, trying too hard to impress you. He arrives at the conclusion that he’d rather lose fuel and money if it means orbiting around you for longer.

You make him feel better, and tonight, he needs it more than ever. He needs you.

(Now he’s driving. He honks five times when he pulls up to your building. You get on the limo, giggling as you say: “My neighbors must hate you.” He grins. You kiss him on the cheek. Subtle. Not the first time. Still, it doesn’t get old. He feels the faint residue of lip gloss on his skin. He doesn’t wipe it off.)

Not in the mood to cook, you declare as you step into his place. The mouth-watering aroma of the Chinese food you bought fills the air, but when he reaches for the bags, you insist that he sit and relax.

Sure, he can take a seat. But to expect him to relax with you around, playing this intricate game? That’s simply impossible. You’re asking for too much. He’s a player at heart, drawn to the thrill of the chase, and he will play along.

What seems inconceivable is the expectation that he can act as if nothing is happening between these four walls.

His attempts to focus on you are futile, as his mind betrays him tonight. All he hears spilling from your lips is pure and plain gibberish. Your very presence is no longer enough to anchor him.

Already immune to your charm, Logan eats his noodles, occasionally nodding when your voice rises at the end of a sentence, indicating a question.

But he nearly chokes on his drink the moment he registers your serious expression, having never witnessed you like this before.

“Are you even here?” you ask, shoving your food aside with a swift motion of your wrist.

What should he answer? What is it that you want to hear? Of course! I’m here, listening to you. It’s a delightful night. Should I start by telling you about my most recent nightmare? Quite the entertainment!

There’s a shake of his head as he lowers his gaze, escaping your concerned expression. “M’sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty.” You tug your chair forward, claiming a piece of his personal space. You know he doesn’t mind. “Want to talk about it? Did something happen?”

“My brain is just… off today.”

“Many thoughts at the same time.” Not a question. Have you completely figured him out?

“Yeah.”

He remains still, dragging his plastic fork across the now-cold steamed veggies, which have lost their appeal.

How amusing—your knees bump against his, drawing his attention. “Can I help you?” It’s new, the breathy tone you’re using, a whisper of agitation weaving through your calm demeanor. 

“Can you erase my memory?” he shoots back, attempting to smirk through the wave of memories that flash behind his eyelids. When he looks into your eyes, the siren in his head blares.

Your pupils are dilated, blown wide, chest rising and falling rapidly. Sweaty palms that you wipe on your jeans. Tongue darting out to lick your lips. Your heartbeat accelerates, drumming wildly like the fluttering of a hummingbird’s wings.

He hasn’t been with a woman in ages, but he knows how they react when they see something they like—or, in this case, someone.

“Logan.” His name rolls off your tongue once more, tinged with an unmistakable need. The thought of checking his temperature dances through his mind, but the heaviness in his limbs roots him in place. He feels feverish. “I want to help you.”

Oh, no. No, no, no, no—

“What—what are you on, sweetheart?” Get up. Find your keys. Drive her home. “You don’t even know what you’re sayin’.”

Saliva floods his mouth as you rise to your feet, looking down at him from above. Gracefully angelic, and yet— “I know what I’m asking for,” you continue, your voice descending to a low murmur that scratches pleasantly against some dark and remote corner of his head. Then you lower yourself onto his lap, your thighs bracketing his waist. You repeat your question: “Can I help you?”

He’s no longer in control of his actions. His right hand crawls up your knee, palming the fabric of your pants. It’s numbing: a lapful of you, your rich smell, your quickened pulse.

Tempting. So fucking tempted to take you right now, just like this, without the need for words. Your bodies can communicate in a language of their own, one that transcends spoken phrases. 

I want you, he lets you know through the way he gropes your breasts over your shirt, squeezing them together. He’s always been good with his hands. But what the hell am I supposed to do with a sweet thing like you?

His patience teeters on the edge of a precipice. “Tell me what you want.”

“I asked you first.”

“You’re gonna pretend you don’t know the answer?” He thrusts into the air, grinding against your clothed core, and you close your eyes. He’s rock hard beneath you, the bulge in his jeans shockingly obscene, bordering on grotesque. “We both know what I want, but I’m no telepath, baby. Need you to speak up.”

Twisting the locks of hair at his nape, you press your lips to his neck. “I want to make you forget, to focus on this moment. I want you to live in the present, Logan.” A bite on his earlobe sends shivers down his spine, and he grips your hips with a primal growl. “I can do whatever you want. Just tell me. Tell me, and I’ll do it, please.”

Please? He’s spiraling. Please? That’s it—he’s doing it. He’ll grant you your plea, which aligns perfectly with his own desires.

Once his back meets the mattress in his room, you get to work. With delicate precision, you pull down his pants, sliding his boxers off until only his thick thighs and the crown of short curls adorning his cock remain in sight. Your fingers tremble slightly before you wrap them loosely around his length, and it springs to life in your grasp.

Your gaze pierces into his, mirroring the intensity of his own. But something holds you back, prompting you to reach for his hand.

At that moment, it all clicks into place. Logan urges your head down onto him, and he’s welcomed by the slick warmth you provide.

Indeed, he’s very much alive.

“That’s it. That’s—fuck. There you go.” 

His fingers dig into the mattress, clutching the cotton sheets, stopping himself from thrusting into your mouth. It’s not that he doesn’t want to—God, he does—but tonight, he’s on his best behavior.

He wipes the trail of drool from your chin, smearing it gently across your cheek, his thumb lingering as he watches your nostrils flare with a strained, muffled gasp.

Bringing his thumb to his mouth, he tastes the wetness on it the same way you’re sucking him: greedily, without any trace of mercy.

This proves I’m going to hell, he thinks, enraptured by the sight of his cock disappearing between your parted lips. Straight to hell.

You draw him back to the present, nuzzling your face against his thigh, your humid breath teasing his thick shaft, pulling him from a deep reverie. Your glossy eyes roam, exploring until they find his, and you gift him an authentic smile. Wrecked and blissed out, it’s as if the lights are on, but no one’s truly home.

He would’ve never guessed how much you reveled in sucking cock, radiating enthusiasm with each of your movements.

“Am I doing it okay?” you wonder aloud, hovering over the tip, swirling your tongue around the velvety head. He’s no fool, and neither are you; deep down, you know you’re doing more than just okay. Actually, you’re giving him the best blowjob of his long, long life.

Each panting, airy praise he huffs fuels your eagerness, making you even more receptive to his desires as the words slip past his lips.

“Fuckin’ amazing, honey. Got me so hard, y’see?” His tone is heavily charged with carnality, gripping himself and smacking the tip against your mouth, the wet sound echoing like music to his ears.

He pulses against your tongue, and you seize the opportunity to trace the thin veins scattered along his length. Gulping, with his gaze fixed on you, Logan notices how you’re still wearing your clothes, wiggling your hips against the mattress, rubbing your thighs together to get something in return. “Are you wet?”

Humming against him, you suck in shaky breath. 

“Words.”

“I’m—I’m wet,” you rasp, voice hoarse. You try to guide him into your mouth and fail miserably, because his grip only tightens, stroking himself instead. “Logan,” you keen, stretching your neck in a silent plea, “don’t be mean.”

“Not mean. Just enjoyin’ myself,” he replies, pulling the foreskin back to expose the head, arching his eyebrows. His fingers curl around your chin, drawing your face nearer to his girth, fascinated by how your eyes flutter shut the more you surrender to the pleasure. “C’mon. Be polite.”

Blame him for it—he believes he’ll never get tired of this game.

“Please.” You whisper, returning to your begging while tenderly rolling his balls, staring at him through your lashes. And then you say it again: “Please.”

Your gaze burns a hole through his crumpled heart. He lets you have it, eager to give whatever you may ask him for. You dive back into it, engulfing his length and bobbing your head up and down with fervor. Hushed whines escape your lips, savoring another bead of his precum.

Logan almost loses it as you hollow your cheeks, instinctively cradling the back of your head. “Easy, baby. M’not going anywhere. Take your time.”

Whenever he feels himself approaching that long-awaited release, he forces his mind to conjure thoughts that will stall his impending orgasm.

The water stains from flooding on the walls.

The supermarket list.

The rising price of gas.

The—

“Fuck. Slow down,” he groans, utterly captivated by the way you point your tongue to draw imaginary patterns along his cock, seemingly memorizing every detail. “Don’t go too hard on me, remember?”

You mumble something under your breath, and at first, he can’t quite make it out. “What is it?”

“I said I want you to fuck me.”

Under no circumstances is he surviving this night.

“Really, doll?” Logan seeks the reassurance he desperately needs, fearing that this is all a dream from which he’ll awaken the moment he properly touches you. “You sure you want this old man to fuck you?”

You’re a rambling mess, murmuring Yes, Logan, please, until he maneuvers you to lie on his chest, his glistening cock sliding against your clothes, leaving a trail of dark spots. A whimper dies on your tongue as you brush your lips together, your hot breath enveloping him. “Give me a kiss at least.”

Tilting your head up, he connects his mouth to yours, growling as he detects the dull, sour tang of what must be him. He sucks your bottom lip, hardly aware of what his hands are doing until he shifts your positions, pinning you down.

Logan tugs at your clothes, peeling them away with urgency, his fingers dancing over your nipples until you’re grinding against his thigh, quivering beneath him. With a nip at your damp skin, his eyes flutter open as he studies your expression, casting you a glance that seeks your permission.

A ripple of desire courses through him when you dutifully turn over beneath him, pressing your face further into the pillow. He runs his knuckles along the curve of your ass, his throat going dry as you follow after his touch, arching your body in response.

Unable to resist the temptation any longer, he licks a long, slow stripe up your wet folds, keeping his tongue flat against your clit for a brief moment. Your arms give out and you stumble forward, stuttering as you mewl his name, fully consumed by the feeling.

So he does it again, and again, and again, flicking the sensitive bud, even though you’re already beyond soaked. It’s a pleasure he indulges in simply because he can.

Straight to hell, he thinks, coating his length with your arousal, teasing your entrance while pushing in only the tip. That motion alone is enough to make him draw a trembling breath before he continues, gradually feeding you his cock, inch by inch.

Straight to hell, the voice in his head utters as he buries himself to the hilt deep within your body, his heavy balls resting against your ass.

Like an intruder in your territory, he’s free to do as he pleases, and you let him have his way with you.

If only this moment could stretch into infinity—he longs for time to relent and never draw to a close. 

What will happen after? Will you spend the night? Does he—

“L-Logan,” you mumble, having adjusted to his size. You rock back into him, impaling yourself even more on his cock. “Please, move.”

The pace he establishes is brutal. Your warm, inner walls exquisitely massage him, and the earth as he knows it stops spinning. Fire pools low in his abdomen, his hands holding you by the flesh of your hips to keep you anchored, each thrust driving you closer to the headboard with an intoxicating urgency. 

“You wanted it from the very start, didn’t you?” He doesn’t know if a response will ever come, but these kinds of thoughts are impossible to contain. He’s just a simple man, powerless against the allure of a tight cunt. “Just got in my car and knew it would end like this?”

You roll your eyes at him, silent as you exit the vehicle, closing the door behind you. While fumbling for your keys, four words escape your mouth. Casual yet devastating, they ruin him: “I’ll see you around.” 

His next thrust punches a whine out of your lungs. Even as you clench around him, stuffed and filled to the brim, you beg for him to fuck you harder. He would’ve laughed at you were he able to catch his breath.

With a more deliberate rhythm, he rolls his hips, jackhammering your most sensitive spot, pulling you closer as he wraps an arm around you. When his fingers find your clit, drawing slippery circles, a cry escapes you, and your body merges with the mattress under you.

Your release takes him by surprise, urging him to continue as you reach back, encouraging him to chase his own climax. He knows all too well the struggle of bringing you to this point without succumbing to his pleasure too soon. Your nails graze along his thigh, leaving delicate marks in their wake, and somehow, the passion and bliss he’s been nurturing ignites into a fiery crescendo.

Shortly after, he goes completely rigid inside you, pressing his forehead against your back as he bites down on your shoulder to muffle his groans. His hand squeezes your breast tightly, riding out his high, blood buzzing in his ears, continuing to spill into you. You spam around him, milking him until the last drop of his seed, his release painting your insides with his warmth.

Logan tucks you under his chin as his vision returns to clarity. You nose his jaw, your fingers softly tracing the contours of his beard. He pulls you closer into his chest, gliding his hands up and down your back.

Half a minute of dreadful silence, then: “Can I stay?”

Oh, yes—pillow talk. He’s not great at this either. Despite that, his eyes soften, snapping to your face.

Logan pauses for a moment. “Sure,” he retorts, dragging his fingers along your shoulder blades. He’s a one-word kind of guy. Just perfect.

Tell her you like her. Tell her you don’t want this to be a casual fling. Tell her it’s more than just sex for you.

Or maybe don’t. Get ahold of yourself, will you?

“Logan?” you ask, resting your palm against his heart.

“What is it?”

“I know.”

You do?

Try as he might, he can’t deny it. He might care about you more than he ever realized.

dividers by: @/cafekitsune thank you!!! <3

[5sospenguinqueen]

American Boy | Logan Sargeant x Celeb! Reader

Summary: When Logan finds out this his celebrity crush’s celebrity crush is HIM!! He freaks out. Thankfully, the internet (and Oscar) manage to do most of the work for him. 

Warnings: Swearing. Fluff

Requested: No. I just love Logan Sargeant

I put an embarrassing amount of effort into this one, especially that letter. 2024 season

F1 Masterlist

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

user1 girlies, who is this logan sargeant and how is he managing to make our girl smile like that 

→ user2 he’s an f1 driver. yn grew up watching f1 and is still a huge fan of it

→ user3 a vroom vroom guy! the shame 

user4 i can’t believe these came out in the same week??? 

→ user5 the universe is aligning 

user6 okay but i don’t think any of us would recover from them dating. they’re both so hot  liked by yn_official_ln

→ user7 omg omg omg she liked the tweet

→ user8 @/logansargeant look at this!! 

user9 okay but i really hope that somebody showed yn that episode of team torque because she loves f1 and i feel she would die

→ user10 babe, if logan is her celeb crush, what makes you think she hasn’t watched it herself? liked by yn_official_ln

user11 can we all take a moment to admire how calm yn was in her interview though. she admitted she’s had a crush on a guy since she was like 17 and didn’t even blush

user12 okay but yn’s liked tweets section is going to send logan into cardiac arrest

user13 @/logansargeant shoot your shot, dude! 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

yn_official_ln just posted

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri and others

yn_official_ln vroom vroom what an exciting day. a huge thank you to mclaren for inviting me into their garage. i can’t put into words how amazing it was to be inside an f1 garage, and the whole team were warm and welcoming.  (i’m still convinced these two are dating though???)

1,778 comments

user1 someone check on logan please? is he still alive?

→ user2 no because the way he just stopped dead in the middle of the paddock when he spotted her walking with oscar and lando

landonorris right, i’ve told you like 10x now. we are NOT a couple. he just looks at me that way 

→ oscarpiastri whoa, don’t act like you’ve not been caught giving me the goo goo eyes too

→ landonorris goo goo eyes? who taught you that!

→ yn_official_ln that would’ve been me when i was showing him the photo i took of you looking at him with goo goo eyes

→ landonorris i take it back. i don’t want you to come again next weekend

→ yn_official_ln but i already booked my ticket :( 

→ user3 i fear logan may have passed away

 williamsracing perhaps we could poach you into our garage next time? 

→ user4 logan ghost wrote this

→ yn_official_ln would i get an ls2 cap to go with it?

→ logansargeant you can have mine liked by yn_official_ln

→ user5 they interacted! 

→ alex_albon i’m hoping he won’t see this because it’s hidden within comments but logan won’t stop giggling at his phone 

danielricciardo it was so great to meet you. i didn’t know it was possible for one person to do so many different voices 

→ yn_official_ln give me time to watch some interviews and i bet i can do you by silverstone

→ danielricciardo i don’t think logan would appreciate that

→ yn_official_ln omg! no! not in that way! i think i’ve made it clear that aussie drivers aren’t my type 

→ arthur_leclerc what about monegasque?

→ yn_official_ln not american, not for me liked by logansargeant

→ user6 i love how bold she is! logan, go for it! She has literally announced to the entire world on multiple occasions that she’s into you 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

yn_official_ln just posted a new story

logansargeant just posted a new story

oscarpiastri just posted a new story

yn_official_ln just posted

liked by charles_leclerc, logansargeant and others

yn_official_ln exciting things coming soon 

1,650 comments

alex_albon i thought we were friends. you can tell me right? new movie? new album?

→ yn_official_ln as my friend, i can tell you that you already know

→ user7 new boyfriend

georgerussell63 what’s all this then

→ landonorris george admitting he’s not cool enough to be included in the inner circle 

→ yn_official_ln don’t pick on him. there’s pics of him looking like amelia airheart on the internet, he’s suffered enough

→ georgerussell63 @/logansargeant why do you like this one

charles_leclerc the news is that she’s an ambassador for lec ice cream

→ yn_official_ln deal but only if i can meet leo

user8 okay but all the f1 drivers being here makes me think something

→ user9 she’s been in the paddock and went to a few garages. i think she’s made friends with a lot of them

williamsracing just checking that we’re still on for sunday?

→ yn_official_ln like i would miss the british gp

→ lilymhe you’re going to be in silverstone? omg, i’m freaking out. alex, why didn’t you tell me! 

→ alex_albon yeah, she’s racing instead of me liked by logansargeant

user10 miss rabbit has fainted

francisca.cgomes i was not familiar with your game. i need you to kiss ME like that 

→ pierregasly pardon? you better not come anywhere near alpine on sunday 

→ alex_albon like logan would let her leave williams

user11 logan liking but not commenting? do we think he’s actually died upon seeing that yn has a boyfriend?

→ user12 hear me out. what if he’s the boyfriend

→ user13 babe, i think you’re as delusional as he was for thinking he had a chance. nobody has a shot with their celeb crush, even if you’re semi-famous yourself

→ yn_official_ln wait, so i don’t have a shot with my celeb crush either?

→ oscarpiastri i think your celeb crush would let you step on him if you asked 

→ user14 i love that the grid are exposing logan being down bad for our girl 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

logansargeant just posted

liked by jensonbutton, arthur_leclerc and others

logansargeant silverstone complete. amazing support this weekend. and an amazing effort from the team

995 comments

user1 where can i get that jumper

→ yn_official_ln etsy x

→ user2 um, ma’am are you admitting that’s your jumper?

user3 i’m sorry but did anyone else see logan kissing someone who looked an awful lot like yn after he realised he was almost in the points???

→ user4 and we all know she was in the garage that weekend 

→ user5 fans caught video footage of her hugging him, and he just folded into her in shock, his helmet was still on and everything 

alex_albon i don’t think this counts as a soft launch after you were caught on camera in front of millions

→ logansargeant i’m trying my best, okay! 

→ yn_official_ln you’re doing amazing baby 

→ user6 miss yn, are you even trying to hide it

→ user7 she kissed him on live tv, i’m gonna go with no

→ yn_official_ln have you seen his face? you would too

→ logansargeant ☺️

lilymhe thank you for bringing my new best friend to silverstone

→ logansargeant you can’t have her

→ yn_official_ln i only came for you @/lilymhe

→ lilymhe you, me, run away into the sunset together?

→ alex_albon whoa, hold on a second

oscarpiastri mate please tell me you’re not attempting to soft launch

→ logansargeant it was the plan but somebody ignored the plan

→ yn_official_ln oops? it’s not my fault you’re too cute to ignore

yn_official_ln just posted

liked by oscarpiastri, williamsracing and others

yn_official_ln somehow i managed to get a date with THE logan sargeant. i think i have ultimate rizz

1,839 comments

oscarpiastri no, you both just have a really good friend. you’re welcome

→ yn_official_ln whoa, i can get bitches on my own

→ logansargeant i can’t so thank you, oscar

→ mclaren i think you mean, thank you mclaren. we sent the letter 

logansargeant babe, you got more than a date

→ yn_official_ln you’re right. i’ve had six months worth <3

→ logansargeant and i look forward to even more

landonorris and it was all too much for little logan sargeant 

→ landonorris mate, why do your legs look so long

→ logansargeant @/yn_official_ln this is why i told you not to post that one 

→ yn_official_ln but you look so baby girl 

→ landonorris ha! 

alex_albon stop trying to make him look good at sports. i kicked his ass at table tennis

→ yn_official_ln yeah and i kicked yours. and stole your girl

→ lilymhe you tell him, boo! 

→ user8 yn really said don’t insult my princess

→ logansargeant she just called me her beautiful princess so thanks for that 

user9 when they say people died, and it’s a pic of logan sargeant kissing his celeb crush. i am people

→ yn_official_ln i also died because do you see how passionate this man is

→ user10 no need to rub it in (i love you)

danielricciardo i see a gentleman who respects a good hat

→ yn_official_ln he’s letting me live out my cowboy fantasies 

→ danielricciardo you know what they say, save a horse

→ yn_official_ln yeehaw!

→ logansargeant is this why pr are calling me?

Tag list

@rosecentury @peachiicherries

[i-dont-wanna-be-me-anymore]

“I Win” | Cagefighter!Logan x Cagefighter!male!reader

Logan x Male!Reader

HC’s about Logan and a cage fighter mutant!male reader

Warnings: blood and violence, mutant!reader, mention of guns, sexual implications, Logan has a pain kink?

Request by: @keigohawks

A/n: so, this was kind of a request that i saw, so I figured why not since I was already like in love with Logan. Also, Im ngl. Watching DP&W, i left the theatre feeling both sad cus of the end credits, and a little turned on.

SET PRE- X-MEN (2000)

—

• When Logan first met him, he wasn’t entirely what he expected. He actually wasn’t even looking at him when he saw him.

• Logan had been facing away from the wall as he heard people booing and yelling strings of curses at the man who just entered the cage. He turned and saw who he was up against. The man was beautiful, so much so that Logan had to do a double take upon seeing him.

• When the match started, Logan waited for the man to swing or at least do something, but he didn’t he just walked along the sides of the cage, watching his every movement. So, Logan charged at him, the metal in his bones making a hard impact as he punched the side of his face, watching him hunch over and spit out blood before he looked up at him, grinning.

• One thing led to another, and after several minutes of the two throwing each other against the walls, kicking each other’s stomachs, socking one another in the face; Logan ended up pinned down to the floor with the fighter’s fists swinging at him, left and right.

• Logan suddenly grabbed his arm and looked up at him, blood seeping down into his teeth from his injuries as he looked up at the man, smiling.

• The man squinted and pinned Logan’s arms down as he put them across his body, choking him with his own arms. Logan tried to use his enhanced strength to get him off, but it was no use, his efforts seemed pointless as the man was left un-harmed by his touch. With that, his vision went black.

• When he woke up, he saw the man sitting across from him, playing solitaire. Logan looked over the man, seeing that any sign of injuries on his face had gone away, or healed up just as soon as he got them.

• “Who are you?”

• One simple question led to him and the unknown, well now known, man to travel together in his truck.

• Logan had never had someone willingly want to go with him, it was always people looking for rides, people stealing his truck (and learning that it wasn’t the best thing to do), but now he actually had someone to talk to.

• Someone that he could actually call a friend.

• Y/n, he learned to be the unknown man’s name, was quite possibly the one person that actually care about him.

• And it even showed when he stuck by his side when finding out about the “X-Men.”

—

A/n: Short and sweet, also guys, I am currently between projects right now. I’m working on two TUA projects. One is Five x reader, that’s on here, and the other is an entire fanfiction, like s1-4 fanfiction, but I’m still on season 1. Anyways, that’s kind of why I took so long posting this. Lmk how this is and if you guys liked it

[librababe99]

Weathering the Storm

A/N: Hey Y’all! So I’ve always been someone who lurks, reblogs and enjoys the work that others put out on Tumblr. I have attempted to write things in the past but end up keeping it to myself or scrap the idea altogether— BUT after watching Deadpool and Wolverine my love for those two has hit me hard!  Anyways, here’s a little angsty blurb I wrote for Logan. 

Please let me know what you think! I'm open to suggestions and comments!

- Libra ✧ : *✧･ﾟ:*

Warnings: None.  Word Count: 620

The rain pounds against the window, a relentless downpour that mirrors the storm brewing inside you. You sit on the edge of the bed, arms wrapped around yourself, trying to hold it together. But it’s hard. It’s so damn hard when everything feels like it’s falling apart.

Logan is pacing the room, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. You can see the tension in his muscles, the barely contained fury that radiates off him in waves. He hasn’t looked at you since the argument started—since the words that neither of you can take back were thrown like daggers.

“Logan,” you finally say, your voice breaking the heavy silence. He stops but doesn’t turn to face you. His shoulders rise and fall with each breath, and for a moment, you wonder if he’s even listening.

But then he speaks, his voice rough and edged with pain. “I can’t keep doin’ this,” he mutters, the words barely audible over the rain. “Every time… it’s like I’m losing you a little more.”

Your heart clenches at the raw emotion in his tone, and you stand, taking a hesitant step toward him. “You’re not losing me,” you say, though the crack in your voice betrays your own doubt. “I’m right here.”

He finally turns to look at you, his eyes shadowed with something that makes your breath catch. There’s anger there, yes, but beneath it, there’s something deeper—something broken. “But for how long?” he asks, his voice rough with a vulnerability he rarely shows. “How long before you walk away? Before you decide you can’t handle bein’ with a guy like me?”

The accusation stings because it’s not entirely unfounded. You’ve both been through hell, and sometimes the weight of it all feels like too much. But the thought of leaving him? Of walking away from the only person who truly understands you? That’s a pain you can’t bear to even consider.

“I’m not leaving you, Logan,” you insist, your voice trembling. “I—” You swallow hard, trying to find the right words. “I’m scared, okay? Scared that one day I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone. That something will happen, and I won’t be able to stop it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. I just… I don’t know how to deal with this.”

He’s silent for a long moment, his gaze piercing as he studies you. Then, with a heavy sigh, he steps forward, closing the distance between you. His hand reaches up, his rough fingers brushing your cheek. “You’re not gonna lose me, darlin’,” he murmurs, the anger in his voice replaced by something softer, something laced with the same fear you feel. “But I can’t keep fightin’ this battle alone. We’re in this together, or we’re not in it at all.”

His words hang in the air, a challenge and a plea all at once. You meet his gaze, feeling the weight of the decision before you. It would be easy to walk away, to let the fear and doubt win. But as you look into Logan’s eyes, you realize that leaving him would hurt more than anything else ever could.

Taking a deep breath, you place your hand over his. “We’re in this together,” you whisper, the resolve in your voice stronger now. “No matter what.”

For a moment, the tension between you lingers, but then Logan pulls you into his arms, holding you tight as if afraid you might slip away. You bury your face in his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart against yours. The storm outside rages on, but in Logan’s embrace, you find a sliver of peace—a promise that, despite the darkness, you’ll face whatever comes together.

[disneyprincemuke]

what if i told you that i've fallen? * ls2

[part one out of eight]

and what do you do when you fall in love with the person you swear is your best friend in the entire world?

pairings: logan sargeant x fem!driver

notes: u don't have to be acquainted with the original series to read and enjoy this i promise there's context here like i swear i swear i-

this is also A STANDALONE FIC OK THIS Is juST THEIR MEGA TIMELINE FIC WHERE whaT IF i entertained the idea of them ending up together xoxo <3

wc: 6.2k

(series masterlist) | (through the years)

2020

girls and guys can always be just friends for the rest of their lives. realistically, it isn’t that difficult to prove it: her friendship with oscar has always been the one remaining evidence that it is possible. and for years, her friendship with logan also told everyone that the phenomenon of ‘opposite gender friendships are impossible’ is simply a lie.

that was when she stepped out of her university campus one evening: a breeze blew her hair back, stray leaves swirling on the ground as logan leaned against the hood of his car. she felt her heart drop to her stomach when he looked up from his phone to smile at her.

suddenly her best friend didn’t seem like much of a best friend anymore. suddenly, she got giddy at the thought of sitting in the passenger side of his car; blushing when he put a hand on the back of the headrest as he reversed the car out of their parking spot. all of the things that he does have got a deeper meaning to them — is he doing that mindlessly or is she crazy to think that he could possibly feel the same?

truthfully, she has no idea where the feelings came from. up to now, she’d only ever seen logan as a best friend with whom she had several things in common. not to forget 1 of the 2 people who drove her around in their fancy cars whenever she needed them to. and not only that, one of the kids her parents let stay with them in their house during times they had to spend apart from their families back home.

“hey, feeling alright?” oscar elbows her gently.

the girl perks up slightly, turning to him with a wide smile as she blinks rapidly. “yeah, why do you ask?” she follows his gaze down to the untouched cup of mojito sitting on the table. she meets his eyes again with a sheepish laugh. “i just don’t really feel like drinking tonight.”

the sheer thought of having feelings deeper than the surface level for logan was enough to make her stomach churn.

oscar raises his eyebrow, glancing at the mojito again. “i don’t believe that.”

“i swear!” she shrieks, eyes widening as she waves oscar’s concerns away. “i’m just not feeling the club at all, actually.”

“really? but you’re usually in your element when we go clubbing,” oscar frowns, taking the mojito into his hands and starting to drink it immediately. it’s odd that she’s not out on the dance floor, creating a small dance party with random goers. “is something wrong? you can talk to me.”

she looks over her shoulder as the sight of her best friend on the dance floor with another girl greets her once more. it’s only complicated because she got him that girl the minute they stepped into the club. it’s what logan always teases her about being able to score him dates and girls even better than he could all by himself. she has this way of talking him up where girls immediately fall for him. it’s a power, even.

he praises her for that all the time.

as much as she’s convinced that this crush would never develop into something more than it is, it worries her. this one is different. she knows by heart because she’s never been kept up all night by anything before — not even her toughest days in school had gotten her this stressed.

racing, maybe, but nothing else.

and she knows she can’t talk to oscar about this. so she takes a deep breath and shakes her head again. “it’s nothing. i think i’ll just order some bar food.” she scooches out of their booth. “do you want any?”

“i’m alright, mate,” oscar grins. he waves goodbye to her, watching her disappear into the crowd. he turns to lily. “did you notice that? she was acting weird, wasn’t she? it’s not just me?”

lily nods, taking a sip from the mojito that the young girl left behind. “it is. we should try and figure that out soon before it gets bad.”

logan couldn’t tell you when he started seeing his best friend as more than just a friend. it came randomly.

the last time he remembered feeling normal about her was the night they all slept in his room the night before her first race in formula 3. someone was shivering and it sure as hell was not the guy sleeping next to him on the other bed with a blanket strewn over his shoulders tightly. when he sat up, he snorted when he saw the younger girl curled up into a ball as her teeth softly chattered.

he sighed as he got up to his feet, picking up the blankets that she’d conveniently kicked down to the ground sometime during her slumber. he would never have noticed if he hadn’t stepped on it, her stuffed animal lying on the ground, abandoned and betrayed by her after she discarded everything on the bed with her initially.

he remembers that he laughed as he lifted her arm, placing the stuffed animal under her arms. and he thought that she looked so adorable nuzzling her cheek into the plushie, falling into an even deeper sleep.

what got him was when he laid the blanket over her. she pulled the blankets around herself a little tighter, smiling in satisfaction as she felt her body start to warm up. “thanks,” she whispered before abruptly snoring again.

he felt his heart go heavy at the sight, thumping against his chest as she sighed heavily. suddenly his head starts to spin and he feels something he’s never really felt for anyone before.

and, oh, god. he needs to sit down.

he sat at the edge of her bed, scratching his head as both of his friends slept. he looked over at her and felt something tugging at his heart and he knew instantly that it was over for him and the way he looked at her.

he thought it was just a fleeting crush and something that would eventually go away. but it’s been 2 weeks and he still hasn’t been able to push away the nagging feeling in his chest. everything just leads back to the girl with the seemingly brightest smile and most hypnotising eyes.

it wasn’t long until he felt like he could burst from the way he felt. which is why he’s now sitting opposite oscar, at brunch, while they wait for her and lily to arrive from stopping by at a bakery not too far away. he’s bearing holes into oscar’s head, waiting to catch his attention, but the australian seems to be too caught up with what’s on his phone than his friend quietly breaking down across the table.

“oscar,” logan finally says, hand darting out to try and catch his attention. “mate, i need to tell you something. it’s important.”

“oh, you never really have anything serious to say.” oscar puts his phone down on the table, pressing his lips together. he folds his arms and leans on the table. “did you do something bad again? you have to tell her dad this time, i can’t keep doing that for you, mate.”

“no, no,” logan sighs, shaking his head. “i’m serious. this is serious. like, you can’t tell lily at all.”

“wha–“

“i know you tell lily everything, no shame in that. but you really cannot tell her this one.”

oscar furrows his eyebrows. “you’re kind of scaring me. how serious is this thing you’ve done?”

“insanely serious.” logan puts his palm on the table. “mate, i think i’m in love.”

out of all the girls that logan has ever been with, he’s never once said that he’s in love. or at least said it out loud. if oscar is hearing about it for the first time since they met years ago, logan must be pretty serious about this.

logan’s just never been the type to commit to anyone, more or less ever claiming that he is in love with any of the girls that he’s gone out on a date with.

oscar looks around, worried that the girls may have already arrived and overheard his friend. “you’ve never ever said that before. are you serious?” logan nods. “like for real, serious? you’re sure about this girl?”

“that’s the thing.” logan starts to play with the menu, opening and closing it as he tries to play off the severity of his feelings. “i don’t know. but it’s been bugging me for weeks now. i can’t get her out of my head.”

“it must be serious if this has been going on for weeks,” oscar scoffs with a small smile. “how long have you known her?”

logan contemplates telling oscar the truth. will oscar ever slip up and tell her about his feelings? and what will happen if it changes everything and he loses his best friends? literally, the people he knows are his ride-or-die.

“you have no idea the severity. it’s–“

“why are you hunched over whispering like a bunch of schoolgirls with gossip?” she snorts, patting logan on the shoulder as she slots herself in the empty spot next to him in the booth. “anything to tell me?”

logan shakes his head, moving in further to give her the spot. “nope, nothing.”

without anything said, oscar feels like logan’s already told him everything. typically, she’s always in the knows of anything feelings-related, or anything that has to do with a crush. and he knows logan doesn’t mind that lily knows. the arrows are only pointing at one possible person present in the room.

but it can’t be. they’re all best friends.

“ah, keeping secrets now, i see,” she hums, narrowing her eyes down into a suspicious stare.

“way to hold it against me, mate,” logan scoffs, picking up the menu from the table. he glances at oscar across the table who raises his eyebrows at him.

logan, already knowing that he’s caught on, just nods in devastation. in a way that oscar’s never seen him before and that in itself is concerning.

the feeling never stops gnawing at her when she lies awake at night in her bed. she tosses and turns for hours, biting her fingernails as she tugs on her hair in frustration.

her lock screen, a picture of the 3 of them at a track from just a couple of days ago, consumes her. she’s come to overanalyse everything: his hand placements in pictures, their text messages, the way he speaks to her, everything that he does seems to mean more than it used to. and it should not be this way at all.

he is her best friend, after all. and what would she know about crushes and love? she could have been a small percentage of the population that grew up without really having one. it’s not something she concerned herself about over the years.

of course, she allowed herself that one boyfriend when she was 16. but even now she knows that that was not love.

could this be love? surely not — not with her best friend.

not with the boy who moved into her house when she was 13 to live with them for some months of the year, then leaving to spend the holidays with his family in florida. it’s not fair that she is consumed whole by the thought of being his girl.

because when you grow up alongside people, you tend to know the worst side of them. especially when you live together.

but why is it that, as aware as she is of logan’s flaws and everything that made girls want to walk away, she still longs to have him all to herself?

she hears his voice mixed with oscar’s from the next room over. it seems that they are also kept up by something that doesn’t seem to concern her. should she join them for another sleepless night like she typically does?

but it seems to be almost crossing the line of the boundaries of late night conversations they seem to be having. she hums, dropping her phone next to her head as she rolls over to lie on her back.

she looks up at the ceiling and tries to map the past couple of years and how it’s led her here. her heart thumps in her chest as she thinks of the green eyes that have captivated her lately, breathing shakily as the urge to stare into it at this very moment grows.

but she doesn’t know that in the next room over, the older boy feels the same way about her. technically, all her tossing and turning, fears of losing him over feelings that are slowly festering in her gut, are all for nothing. because if she got up right now and just laid it all out for him, he would be okay with it. he’d welcome it with open arms.

not knowing if he feels the same is what scares her the most.

a knock on the door makes her jump, sitting up dishevelled as she turns her attention to the door. she should be asleep for her classes tomorrow — which she would have been if logan hadn’t taken up every inch of space in her mind — so if that’s a test from her parents, it’s over for her.

“it’s us.”

she scrambles out of bed, keeping her footsteps soft to avoid the notion of announcing that she’s out of bed. when she opens the door, it’s come to her surprise that they’re wearing jackets and pants. oscar holds up his car keys with a small grin. “we’re hungry.”

“i’ve got classes tomorrow,” she says in a whisper as she avoids logan’s stare that’s boring holes into her skull.

logan shrugs. “and you’re still awake,” he’s the first to walk towards the stairs and beckons his two friends to follow him, “come on, we were craving ice cream. thank god you’re awake.”

she looks down at herself, in her pyjamas and then glances over at her friends with furrowed eyebrows. “i’m not dressed to head out. could you give me like 5 minutes to change at least?”

“no time for that,” oscar frowns, “do you wanna get caught?”

“besides, i brought an extra jacket for you. your mum would flip if she sees one of your jackets was used, no?” logan stops at the top of the stairs, holding up one of his smaller jackets in the air to show it to her. “i reckon we should get a move before your parents hear you out of bed, dude.”

she takes a deep breath, her gaze softening at the jacket that’s held in the air. it’s not that cold out, so she would definitely do without a jacket. but the thought of being wrapped in a jacket that belonged to logan — with his smell and the whole shebang — almost brings her to her knees. and going to sleep with his cologne all over her? it’s enough to make a typically emotionless woman cry.

“mate, do you wanna come or not?” oscar whispers, still towering over her at her door.

she nods, slowly closing the door behind her as she tries to run silently to the stairs where logan is. “does it smell like you? cause that would be kind of gross.”

a lie: she literally wants it to smell like him. just so she can have a sliver of what it feels like to be his.

“nope. that’s clean.” logan smiles proudly, holding up the jacket with both hands, opening it wide for her to wear it. while normally it would be an issue if it smelled like logan (which is why he took a fresh jacket out of his closet), it’s all she wants right now — to go to bed smelling like him to replace the emptiness of sleeping by herself.

she slots an arm into the jacket, thanking him softly as she feels her cheeks heat up at the gesture. and this is what it’s like suddenly overthinking every interaction she has with logan. did he always used to do this or is everything amplified by the thought of her heart suddenly beating for him?

did his actions always have this romantic intonation in them and she was too stupid to notice, or has it always been this way?

she freezes as logan circles her, pulling the jacket down her shoulders before he zips it up for her. he tugs on it gently and pats her shoulder. “warm enough? i’ve got a thicker jacket if you need one.”

she shakes her head, eyes wide as she looks up at him. he doesn’t seem to notice; turning towards the stairs to make their way to the car. oscar walks past them and shakes the keys as softly as he can. “let’s go. i’m starving.”

she watches the 2 boys walk down the stairs, frozen in the ground at their interaction. she sucks in a deep breath as she tries to process everything: the way he was so close to her and how his gesture was so familiar yet so unfamiliar at the same time.

“mate, let’s go,” oscar scolds, beckoning her from the bottom of the stairs. “i’ll leave you behind if you’re not down here in the next 15 seconds.”

“okay, be patient!” she squeaks, jumping from her spot to rush towards oscar.

by the door, logan keeps a tight grip on the front door as he can barely glance at her happily jumping down the steps. the sight fills his chest with such warmth that he’s never felt before and even forces a small smile on his face that he doesn’t notice.

the gesture with the jacket took everything of his soul to do. it would be crazy for her not to notice the way his hands shook as he zipped the jacket up for her, his breaths shaking as he stood inches away from her. it’s odd because they’ve spent so many years together yet there is this sudden shyness that he cannot seem to escape.

surely she’s starting to catch on as well, right?

he doesn’t even notice that she’s passed him, muttering ‘shotgun’ as she jogs over to the front seat of the car happily. oscar pats him on the shoulder and shoots him a mean glare to snap him out of his trance.

“if you’re going to be this obvious, i’d be more shocked that she hasn’t caught on yet,” oscar mutters with caution before walking out.

logan drags his feet out of the house, slumping his shoulders when he realises that he has to sit at the back. he just shrugs before oscar opens the door to the driver’s seat. “you and i both, dude.”

“see you later, mate.” logan barely lands a pat on her shoulder before walking away, approaching frederik at the other end of the garage.

she looks at the shoulder that he didn’t even touch before her eyes follow the boy now jogging towards his friend. is she going insane or is logan avoiding her?

since they’d gone and grabbed food together 3 weeks ago, it’s been different. logan’s been speaking to her less, keeping conversations short and he barely even looks her in the eye. she can’t say there’s ever been a time that this has ever happened for this long.

she excused it for logan being busy initially, but 3 weeks is too long.

“hey, are you alright?” mick comes up behind her with a small smile and a hand on her back. “you’ve just been standing there for a good minute by yourself.”

“i’m… do you think i’m annoying?” she whispers, eyes wide as her brain goes at a rate it’s never gone before. she starts walking with mick and looks down, bracing herself for his answer.

“what? why would you say that?” he says softly, tilting his head. “did something happen? another reporter get on your nerves?”

she sighs, shaking her head. she looks over her shoulder again where logan walked off before and sighs again as she meets mick’s eyes momentarily. “no… i don’t know… i feel like oscar and logan are avoiding me.”

mick hums, looking around with eyebrows furrowed. surely she is just overthinking it, right? for as long as he’s known any of them, they’ve been inseparable. he can’t think of a time where either logan or oscar went without mentioning her once in a conversation.

it’s like their worlds revolved around her.

“i don’t know, mate,” mick slings an arm over her shoulder as they talk, “maybe just give it some time? it’s a busy weekend and you know they’re your best friends.”

she shrugs. “i guess you’re right. maybe they’re just busy.”

but she can’t just shake away the feeling of something not being right.

“i’m gonna tell her.”

“are you stupid?”

“what? no.”

“then don’t tell her.”

logan puts his hands on his hips, chewing on the inside of his cheek. he stares at oscar with a bewildered expression. “why not?”

oscar mirrors his expression. how stupid can logan be right now? “if she doesn’t reciprocate, then what are you going to do? we literally live with her. tell me what you’re going to do when you tell her you’re in love with her and she doesn’t feel the same way.”

the american throws his hands into the air. “i’m not in love with her!”

“it doesn’t feel that way lately!”

“i have a small crush on her. doesn’t mean that i’m in love with her, okay? and in my head, if i tell her and she doesn’t feel the same way, then it’ll make it easier to move on.”

“babe, i– crush on who?” lily tilts her head, walking into the room with a curious stare. “logan has a crush on somebody? i swear i had this same conversation speculating just 5 minutes ago.”

oscar turns around wide-eyed at his girlfriend. “nobody.”

logan sighs. “oh, lily’s not stupid. you know who i have a crush on.”

the brit blinks blankly at the 2 boys in the room. “no, i don’t.” she tilts her head as she threads the room cautiously. “am i supposed to kn– no way.”

logan nods. “yes way.”

“and you knew this whole time and you’ve been lying to me?” lily shrieks, smacking oscar’s shoulder. “why didn’t you just tell me?”

“so you could tell her and mess up our dynamic? no way!” oscar scoffs, scratching his head in frustration. “listen, i actually like living in her big house with her family. and i actually also like being best friends with her — she’s nice to me.”

“she’s nice to me too,” logan points out.

“that’s different — you’re actually in love with her.”

“i’m not in love with her!”

“you guys have got to start talking to her again,” lily mutters as she climbs into the backseat of oscar’s car. she inches forward and glances out at the window where the younger girl slowly walks over to them. “you’re killing her.”

logan turns around, shaking his leg as he keeps his hands on the steering wheel. “you’re asking too much of me!”

“i do talk to her!” oscar defends himself, throwing his hands into the air. “but i can’t keep a straight conversation with her without wanting to tell her that our best friend is in love with her!”

the urge to tell her gets worse every single time. she’s just blabbing on all the time oblivious to the fact that their best friend spends countless hours talking about how majestic she is.

“i’m not in love with her!” logan scolds, reaching out to smack oscar on the shoulder. he looks at lily and presses his lips together. “and i try to talk to her, okay? but it’s hard.”

and he really does, but she’s got this need for eye contact when she talks to people; it makes it all the harder not to start rambling about how she’s got him wrapped around her fingers currently. it’s just so unfair how she doesn’t know the effect that she’s got on him.

he can barely keep a conversation with her, his defences crumbling when their eyes meet, stuttering and losing his words. and for a guy like logan, feeling like this for someone is beyond his comprehension. it’s just not something he thinks he can get used to.

“well, you’ve got to keep it together! she’s been really upset lately!” lily mutters, smacking both of their shoulders.

logan sighs. “surely, it’s not that–”

the back door opens and the girl slides into her seat with a polite smile. “hi,” she greets them with a small nod. she doesn’t wait for a response before she puts her airpods in and starts to type away on her phone.

“i told you,” lily mouths to the two boys in the front seats, rolling her eyes as she sits back with her arms folded over her chest.

her jaw drops slightly, eyes watering at the conversation she was definitely not meant to overhear. she steps away from the doorframe she hid behind and slumps her shoulders. "you what?"

the two boys, engaged in a whispering conversation just seconds ago, widen their eyes as they turn their heads to the source of the shocked voice.

she had fallen asleep on her couch as they played video games on the playstation, and they had to have a private conversation about logan’s lingering stares and silent pining.

immediately, logan starts stuttering and flailing his hands around to come up with an excuse for what she could have possibly heard. "i- i mean.. like-"

"the girl you fancy is me?" she asks slowly, then turning to oscar. "and you kept this a secret from me the entire time?"

"no, just let me explain, god," logan smacks his forehead, trying to calm the girl down. "will you listen to me for a second?"

oscar presses his lips together and drops his head in disappointment. "i couldn't tell you. don't be like that."

"you guys made me feel like i was going crazy thinking you didn't wanna be friends with me anymore," she complains, stomping her foot into the ground. "i felt like i didn't even know you guys so well in the past month. i felt like you guys were pushing me away."

"what? no, please just listen to me. this is all my fault."

"i thought you guys didn't even wanna be friends with me anymore. all of that to find out that it's because you just suddenly realised i'm cute?" she bursts, giving logan a look. "seriously? you didn't notice that years ago when we first met?"

oscar lifts his head, his look of disappointment quickly replaced by confusion. logan also drops his hands, head tilting at her response.

he had a list formed of possible ways she could react if his secret ever came out. this was not one of them.

"pardon?"

"we've been friends for so long growing up. you think that i never had a crazy puppy crush on either of you?" she scowls at them, wiping the few tears that managed to escape her eyes. "get a grip, my dudes!"

"what?" logan screams. "you're telling me i've been in over my head for literally nothing because you've had a crush on me too?"

"had?"

"you've got a crush on him right now? and me before?" oscar exclaims in disbelief, pointing at logan. "and we never knew? seriously?"

she shrugs, folding her arms over her chest with a smug smile. "i'm just better at keeping secrets compared to you guys, i guess."

she turns on her heel and walks out of the kitchen. “you’ll get over it. trust me. i’m actually in the process of getting over my crush on you, lo.”

but she’s never been more wrong about anything in her life.

logan leans on his car, elbow propped on the roof of his car and chin in his palm. he taps away on his phone as he lazily enjoys the breeze of oxford while he waits.

“i thought you were going to be late?” she hums, tilting her head as she approaches him. she’s got his jacket around her shoulders and an eye squinted from the sun shining brightly above them. “i took all the time i could walking out of campus.”

he shrugs, pushing himself off the car and slips his phone into his pocket. “traffic cleared up a while back. where’s lily?”

she shrugs back at him with a soft giggle. she jogs over to him and wraps her arms around him momentarily before quickly pulling away. “thanks for picking me up, by the way.”

logan throws his head back with a snort, folding his arms over his chest. “did i have a choice?”

he knew better than to decline her wide eyes asking him to please pick him up from campus after an entire day of classes. that, and that fact that it’s just so difficult to say no to her when it came to things like this.

“very funny,” she laughs with a playful eye roll as she rounds the car to the other side. “lily has something on with another module. let’s head out to dinner, you and i?”

he grins and unlocks his car. “yep. let’s go.”

"what's wrong?" worry paints her face as he starts acting calmer than before. her eyes follow logan's hands, lifted up to her face as he tries to brush back her stray hair behind her ears. "are you alright?"

"have i ever told you," he pauses to trace a line down her cheek with his fingertips, "how pretty you are?"

"only when you're drunk," she whispers back with a playful smile. "did you ingest some kind of poison and you've only got a couple minutes to live? is that why you're like this?"

"no," he shakes his head. a small smile appears on his face, tucking a finger under his chin to lift her eyes up to meet his. "i just think you look very pretty. i don't tell you that often."

she admits she almost felt her knees buckle at his words and melt on the ground at his words. logan had never been a very outwardly affectionate type unless he's drunk, so while this is expected behaviour out of him, it's never gotten quite as intimate as this.

she's had him fall asleep with his head in her lap before on the couch, but never has he been this close to her while whispering sweet words at her.

"it would be weird."

"it shouldn't be."

"logan, are you alright?"

he doesn't respond. and she freezes in her spot when his hand drags along her skin, cupping her cheek as he leans down into her. and he would have done it. he would have kissed her but something stops him.

it could’ve been the sheer reminder that they’re supposed to be just best friends. just that, nothing more and nothing less.

he stops himself right as their noses touch and sighs shakily, holding himself up with a hand on her arm. “i’m sorry.”

she lets out a soft sigh and forces a grin on her face. she grabs his shoulders to stabilise him, “do you need to throw up?”

“i think so,” he mutters with a hand on his chest. he turns to look at her with a heaving chest and puffy lips. “can you help me back to the villa please?”

she chuckles, approaching him with her arms held out. “okay, let’s get you back, mate.”

she stands in front of the bedroom door, stuffed bear in hand with a soft huff as she awaits a response.

the door opens, revealing logan in his pyjamas and dishevelled hair. he blinks for a few moments before realising who’s standing at the door. “oh, hi.”

“i couldn’t sleep,” she sighs softly, pursing her lips and slouching slightly. “can i sleep in oscar’s bed?”

logan blinks. he tries to think of what oscar would say if he consulted the australian about what to say in response to her question.

his heart has a simple answer: yes, let her spend the night in your bedroom. but his mind, clearly going with logic, knows exactly the solution to avoid getting himself into deeper shit: maybe you shouldn’t let her because it will complicate things.

guess which answer logan chooses.

“yeah, of course.” logan takes a step back and beckons her into the room. “what’s wrong? nightmare? watched a horror movie all by yourself again and scared yourself?”

“yeah,” she grins sheepishly, climbing onto oscar’s bed.

lie. she couldn’t fall asleep at the thought of logan and her almost kissing a week ago on their trip to the bahamas. and since oscar’s not here to put a stop to their antics, she did the one thing she knows would put her to sleep, or at least to a calmer state of mind.

“oh, what did you watch?” logan giggles, closing the door behind him. “do you need me to turn the nightlight on again?”

she smiles, shaking her head. “just insidious. i got bored while i was doing my homework.”

“you should really start watching that with someone around,” logan sighs, walking over to his bed on the other side of the room. “you know how insidious gets you all jumpy and weird.”

“yeah, i barely made it to 20 minutes of the movie,” she laughs, sighing as she drops her back on the bed. she pulls the blankets up and tucks herself under them. “anyway, thanks for letting me sleep here tonight.”

“of course, dude.”

logan finds himself at her university campus once more, leaning up against the side of his car as he awaits the girl to meet up with him.

he hears heels clicking against the gravel of the university parking lot, making him raise his head in anticipation with a wide grin.

“aw, happy birthday, dude!” logan cheers, opening his arms to the girl approaching him. “how were your classes?”

she sighs heavily, rolling her eyes. “horrid.”

“you left before oscar and i could make you pancakes for breakfast,” logan frowns, squeezing her slightly as she stumbles into his body. “we’re going to take you out for pancakes instead.”

“wow, pancakes for dinner?” she giggles with a hand on her chest. “how lovely.”

“and ice cream,” logan beams with a grin. he gently reaches forward to take her laptop into his hands along with the bag on her shoulder. “because it’s your birthday–”

“where’s my gift?” she teases, hopping forward to rest her chin on his arm. she looks up at him with puffed cheeks and wide eyes. “you promised me a present this year.”

logan blinks blankly at her. he looks at the way she’s cosied up into his body and then back into her eyes. “it’s with oscar.”

she blinks, taking a step back as she realises how close she’s gotten to him. “so you got me a present? how sweet of you, logan.”

“you threatened me to get you a present,” logan scoffs with a roll of his eyes. he starts laughing along with her, shoving her things into the backseat of his car. “as i was saying, because it’s your birthday, i’m giving you 2 options: to drive my car, or to not.”

he flashes her his car keys, dangling them high enough in the air for her to not reach them.

“i’m getting spoiled this year with options,” she laughs, jumping into the air to snatch the key out of logan’s hands. “i wouldn’t turn down the chance to drive your car and send you into cardiac arrest.”

she walks around logan to run over to the driver’s side of the car. “don’t forget to wear your seatbelt.”

“i wouldn’t ever dare if you’re the one driving.”

gen taglist: @33-81 @darleneslane @namgification @localwhoore @happy-nico @nikfigueiredo

[halfthebrain]

I don’t get this hate for Mike while he was an investment banker and fighting Harvey lmao. It was frankly really good TV.

TLDR: The stakes were much higher for Mike and he utilised every trick Harvey has taught him. He’s not the only one to blame just because some viewers can’t understand his motives. Harvey knew though and he forgave Mike, took him back, and even regretted fighting Mike in the first place.

First: obviously Mike would be more invested (pun intended) in winning than Harvey is. It was his first big case and his livelihood was on the line. In case anyone forgot, he never went to uni, he doesn’t have any degree. So this was his chance to get out of committing a felony every day. Sure, he still lied to Sidwell about his credentials but that’s still a lesser crime than pretending to be a lawyer. He left so he wouldn’t put the people he loved at risk.

For Harvey it was just another run of the mill client, a spoiled, entitled rich man child. Was there a lot of money on the table? Obviously. But those are the waters he swims in daily. Billion dollar deals as he said himself. Case in point: he also just drops Logan afterwards. Money be damned.

And Harvey knows this himself. He loves winning, yes, but he loves Mike more.

I actually blame Harvey for being a stubborn asshole and not going with Mike’s plan from the get go, not trusting Mike’s idea and plan, even tho he has consistently profited from them. But, again, this is TV drama so obviously they needed a reason to start a fight.

Second: have we not been watching the same show? It has always been personal to Mike. That’s his whole schtick. He cares. About absolutely, probably everything. He cares about why Walter Gillis started the company (because of his son). He cares about keeping that reason alive. He cares about keeping the workers employed. He empathises deeply, he tries to fight for what he thinks is the right thing. Does that make him a stuck up idealist at times? Yes, but that’s unavoidable. It was never just about winning for Mike, for Harvey it was. If you’re going to hate him for that then at least be a hater from the start.

He was still trying to keep Gillis Industries alive even though Harvey has smeared his name (personal attack) and Walter Gillis has shunned him because of that.

Third: it was all “fair game” despite whatever drama Donna procured in her head about the tapes to insert herself in Mike and Harvey’s fight. She can huff anf puff all she wants but the only person who has a reason to be pissed at Mike would be Harvey. And guess what? He forgave Mike anyway because he realises that Mike did a great job going for the jugular just as Harvey has taught him. He even defended Mike in front of Sidwell, asking him to take Mike back. They didn’t even go toe to toe. Harvey was backed by his entire firm (he’s a name partner), he even let Louis help (he fucked it up), Donna as usual, and lastly, Rachel who was “handling” Logan. Meanwhile Mike was fighting alone. Jonathan Sidwell only pressured him to win, Walter Gillis gave up on him and Amy could only help so much.

Just because Mike is on the other side now using the same methods Harvey taught him doesn’t mean that he’s the “bad guy”. Like I have said many times; they’re both the worst and deserve each other.

Bonus: while all of that was going on Rachel also thought it would be a wonderful idea to keep going back to Logan’s place and then to almost fuck him :).

Are you really, honestly hating on Mike right now?

[atimesfeeler]

Wade’s love for quoting movies and pop references is one of my favorite things about him.

Me and my family play this game and Wade would definitely subject all his friends to it. Anytime he says a quote he’ll immediately demand “What’s that from? Come on guys, it’s easy” and it’s actually a trick because if no one knows then Wade can easily segway into making them watch his favorite movies. He’ll quote the entire thing and interject with fun facts, but Logan and Althea have accepted that Wade is just a talker during movies.

Sometimes he’ll just randomly quote stuff but most of the time it’s because something prompts it. Logan says “one day-“ and Wade burst out signing “One day I’ll flyyyyyyy awaaaayy” and it’s impossible to say anything that Wade can’t turn into a movie quote or a song. Someone says “entree” and Wade will start banging his head against the wall saying “he didn’t make an entree.” And Logan will make the mistake of answering, “What? I did-“

“it’s just SOUP!” And then he’ll realize it’s another movie quote.

At first Logan is completely clueless but Wade coerces him into watching so many movies and shows and things that Logan starts to actually get it. Logan likes to remember things even if they are seemingly useless quotes or information because he spent so long with no memory of anything. He tries to remember everything and actually has a good memory, after his brain healed around the adamantium bullet. And Wade is ECSTATIC when Logan starts guessing right. Althea and Logan will race to answer first. “What’s that from-“

“The Lion Ling!” “It’s Tarzan you dumb fuck.” “Goddamn it.” Anyone who gets it right makes the other person put a quarter in the piggy bank Althea and Wade have been using for years.

And sometimes Wade doesn’t even have to ask before they are answering. It’s his favorite thing now. Logan recognized actors and other movie references. He’ll squint at the screen and ask, “Is that David Tennant with red hair?” And Wade and him will actually talk about movies and whether or not they liked them.

Logan doesn’t quote things as often as Wade does but when he does, Wade every time, without fail, will drop to his knees and try to give Logan a blow job wherever they are.

[brw]

It baffles the mind to me how people will insist Ben Percy's Beast is right and correct and is the natural end version of Hank and that since day one he was always going to end up like that, not just because it implies absolutely nobody has actually read Hank in any pre-Bendis comic ever, but also because Evil Hank as Percy writes him makes everyone look massively incompetent, and I'm not even talking about just X-Force, I mean the entire larger X-Men community.

Emma Frost. World class telepath. Repeatedly is shown to not have that many qualms about digging into people's minds if they're hiding something from her. Confronts Hank at least once directly, and yet did not actually care enough to do anything other than act huffy when confronted with his actions. At most, she was pissed at him ruining her party. You can torture whoever you want, old buddy, but causing an inconvenience at my party? Now I'm mad.

Jean Grey. Even greater telepath. Was on X-Force herself, even, and also does not have many holdups about tearing down people's walls if the needs be. We even see her do just that, but her problem is him keeping things from her, and not the actual content of most of his actions. And after she leaves, she just seems to plug her fingers in her ears and go lalalala? The stuff at the Hellfire Gala, keeping Wolverine as clones, she doesn't care, she's too busy X-Mening.

Wolverine. Epic cool warrior guy who is supposed to be the best there is, whose talents Hank clearly admires enough to clone repeatedly to do his bidding, who is simultaneously a lone wolf and also the guy everyone wants to have on their team, who is the only guy who can see through Hank or whatever. Not competent enough to kill one big blue furry man who has spent the last 5 years at a desk job. That completely alludes him.

Domino has luck based powers that are supposed to help her in any situation, but I guess getting rid of evil blue man is too much to ask. Couldn't even get a bucket propped up under an open door. "He was always like this, he was always evil" she insists, but after learning he's controlling a small nation with plant people at the Hellfire Gala she still busts out the Cha Cha Slide with him on the dance floor.

I guess neither Jean nor Logan bothered to tell Scott his old friend was committing war crimes, because he doesn't seem to know or to give a fuck.

Kitty and Kurt know enough to joke about it, but do they actually confront him? Does anyone care enough to actually try to put a stop to it directly, if they're all seemingly convinced he's beyond help and fundamentally evil? No, they've got other shit going on. No time to care about Hank making a future where he is God-King, we gotta stop Sinister doing that same thing, but I guess when Hank does it, who gives a shit.

Quinten Quire is an omega level telepath who apparently nobody thought to say "hey man, can you use those Phoenix-level abilities to get Beast to stop killing people?". He was too busy giving himself a bigger dick in resurrection protocols, I guess.

I could go on, but point is, I genuinely don't know how you insist that era made so much sense and was the perfect version of Hank and everyone was simply too naive to see that this was who he always was, because it makes everyone look like an incompetent moron! They can't kill one fat blue furry man??? He hasn't done field work in years! And yet that's too much to ask! The only reason he died was because he was in gay love with some fuckass actor from New Jersey. It's deeply embarrassing for everyone involved if that's the reality of things, and I have no idea why you want all of your favourite characters to be incompetent dipshits who think "Wow, isn't Hank evil?" and then refuse to actually do anything about it.

And all this could have been averted if Hank was, you know, Hank. Hank isn't charming and cultured and well-read and funny and polite because he's a good person, those are his innate traits, and as we see with Dark Beast, they can twist in the opposite direction. That would literally be all it would take. I mean a lot of things would still suck, but at the very least, it would make everyone's inability to do anything a little more understandable, and allow things to feel tragic, like that Hank becoming increasingly evil and separated from his ethics is a loss and one we all mourn, instead of the insistence that he was always going to turn out that way.

Emma walks in to try and set things right with Hank, but gets distracted by good conversation and jokes and the same man who treated her as a member of the X-Men when she first joined and not as a heartless monster, who built her piece by piece back together when people were joking that finding out her murderer would be too much work, because everyone wanted her dead. It's hard to connect the evil actions she's heard Hank doing with the kind and charming and personable man in front of her, who matches her intellectually and well and truly respects her, and so she accepts that things are either exaggerated or that Hank will ultimately come back into himself, and that she can trust him not to disrupt her party.

Just a few little moments like that would have gone so far. An evil Hank McCoy is ultimately still Hank, and should still be funny and dropping Aristotle quotes and Shakespeare and being a good friend, because those are not traits exclusively to moral people, and it would make everyone's seeming incompetence a little easier to swallow. It's harder to see the evil actions that Hank is doing for what they are, when he's making you laugh so hard your belly aches or pondering intellectual questions with you, rather than just repeatedly saying "I'M THE BASTARD YOU NEED" before making a torture station in outer space.

There's so many ways this entire arc could have, at the very least, had some intrigue and actual character work to explore, the ways Hank has always used a larger than life persona to deflect and hide, and how that could become increasingly warped if you're dead set on having him be evil, and make the whole thing feel less like a character assassination and more of a tragedy. Hank McCoy becoming evil should hurt. It should feel like a great loss that someone who had been so kind and empathetic and nurturing became increasingly amoral and evil and even sadistic, and all the characters involved should feel that loss, and that even could be why they struggle to actually do anything for so long; they're so loyal to the Hank that once was, they can't see the Hank that is.

But all that is lost when the only character suggesting that something else might be to blame is Colossus, who immediately gets shut down as being ridiculous and silly, and everyone else stands and nods that Hank is really evil now, and isn't that a shame, and maybe he was always like this, but are we actually gonna do anything about it? Nah, we got a party to throw, we gotta get our fancy dresses on.

The entire thing is so unbelievably infuriating, because all it would have taken for someone to actually not even like Hank, but just want to be consistent with prior characterisation and have him be fun. A villainous Hank should ultimately be fun. That's probably the main reason why Dark Beast has endured for so long; he is fun to see and be around. He's a fun character to see on your page. That's what Hank needed. But I guess Sinister was taking that place so instead we got blue Kissinger and it is genuinely such a travesty that this dogshit is celebrated by comic fans who throw up in their mouths if you suggest reading an Avengers comic to broaden their horizons.

[vclvetfleur]

Obedient Chapter 16

Summary: After your talk with Roman, Jess gives him some friendly advice. And Logan is now deciding on who to throw under the bus for the scandal. Based off of S2 E10 and S3 E1

TW: Mental health issues, NSFW (oral) 18+

Word Count: 4.6K

Notes: Sorry again for the slower updates. Bigger things are being planned for the story so bare with me.

Chapter 16: ken is def bd

Jess had just gotten back onto the yacht after making a trip out to the land to just explore. She saw Roman as he sulked. Roman had decided to just remain by himself, avoiding others, trying to distract himself from the massive fuck up he had put himself through. Jess would’ve never thought she’d do this for Roman in a million years, but she couldn’t help herself. She slowly walked to Roman, hoping not to startle him. “Hey, you guys talk?” She asked him.

Roman removed his sunglasses, looking at Jess completely defeated. “Fucking yeah- uh- yeah we did. She doesn’t wanna hear it.” He decided to open up rather than push. The trip to Turkey had made Roman realize the way he pushed and didn’t talk about his feelings really put him in difficult situations. Any day could be his last.

“I’m sorry- what happened?” She sat down, trying to get all the details. There was no way she was going to get any of these details from you. Roman blew air out, trying to recollect every detail of the conversation to only cut it short enough. “Well- she said she doesn’t love me anymore. That it was before.” He tried to slowly remember all your words. He heard Jess scoff, rolling her eyes. “Bull-fucking-shit.” Jess lightly laughed to herself at how ridiculous the idea was. She had sat right next to you and was lying down. She saw your gaze behind your sunglasses. They were constantly on Roman. You just wouldn’t stop staring. You panicked and nearly had a meltdown because of his trip. You isolated yourself from the court hearings because Roman didn’t need you there. You mentioned him a lot. You would just bring up a funny thing Roman did weeks ago while hanging out with Jess or remember little moments that reminded you of Roman. You were still very much deeply in love with him. Whether you admit it or not.

“Yeah- well, that’s what she said. Uh-so, she said I can’t be forgiven easily. And this could never be what it was.” He shrugged, playing with the corners of his sunglasses. He fidgeted a lot while talking. He just stared off, trying to calm his thoughts. He didn’t know how you did it for him so easily. “That’s just- honestly, it’s just y/n telling you to chase. Just bug her. She’ll scream and yell at you, but trust me, she wants you to chase. She loves to lie about ‘leave me alone’, but as soon as you do, she’s not happy you didn’t run and slam her doors down for her to forgive you. She’s an attached avoidant. It’s her way of- don’t even fucking know.” Jess shrugged, trying to explain your personality to Roman. Jess has seen you do this with everyone; Friends, boyfriends, and family. You would scream at your friends, go hide, and then expect them to come to you. But when they didn’t you told Jess and villainized them. You expected your family to eventually come back. You don’t want them back anymore. The timing has been too long.

“I’m just glad you made y/n actually happy for a bit. I would hate for her to lose that. Despite my distain for you Roman.” Jess admitted. Roman appreciated the sentiment. “Fucking whatever- uh while you’re here and y/n isn’t. Can you get me a beer or something?” Roman teased. Jess flipped him off before leaving him alone. Roman now knew you better. He wasn’t going to let up.

The entire family was set at the table, including the older staff and you and Jess. Roman had made sure to save you a spot and fill the rest of the table up before you had come in with Jess. You took your seat next to him, waiting for Kendall and Logan to make their entrance in. “So, do you think they’re throwing little Greggy into the ringer?” Roman asked the table. Greg shifted in his seat, looking around nervously. “Hey man, not fucking cool- okay? I mean- just...” But he was cut off once Logan and Kendall entered. Roman just laughed at Greg’s anxieties being so present on his face. Logan had finally announced who would take the blame and have to step away from the company. Kendall. No one could speak. The air felt thick, and it felt as though even though all our hearts raced, they were all matching. Your stomach felt disgusted. You looked at Kendall, sympathizing for hearing Roman beginning to protest for his brother. He was the only one to do so. No one wanted to sacrifice themselves to Logan or the company. It was better if Kendall dealt with it then them because… well, it wasn’t them. Roman felt like it wasn’t fair. He couldn’t let it happen. Someone else was responsible and Kendall should have no part in being blamed for it.

But Kendall already accepted his fate. In fact, he stepped up to it. “Hey, it’s okay. Guys, you’re off the hook.” He cleared his throat as he put a napkin in his lap. No one was going to be able to eat after this. You had completely lost your appetite. Roman couldn’t believe what had just happened. His older brother, someone he saw being set up for greatness has just taken a nosedive. Roman leaned in and asked Kendall “You okay?” He couldn’t trust Kendall’s judgment. He knew how much the company meant to him. And for him not to be a part of it anymore, Roman knew it would destroy Kendall.

Kendall tried to put on a brave face and lied about being fine. But everyone knew this was going to become a spiraling downward spiral for Kendall. He was nothing without Waystar. His whole life was set up for Waystar. You put a hand on Roman’s shoulder, trying to relax him Everyone just then began to ask for themselves. Roman and Shiv didn’t bother to ask for themselves. Just kept quiet. Before Logan announced the new Chief Operating Officer.

Roman.

He was shaken at all the news being through his way. He was happy, but so devasted at the same time. He just let out a heavy breath, unsure what to do or say.

Shiv took the news hard. Roman didn’t even want to believe the news, assuming he’d be watched over by Frank. But Logan promised it was the real deal. Roman was now COO. It was finally the real deal. His dad hadn’t been lying to him this whole time like everyone said. It was never Shiv. It was always him. He wasn’t too stupid or incompetent.

Kendall looked at Roman as if he had been stabbed in the back a thousand times by all his loved ones. It was the position he was meant to hold, now given away to his younger brother. Roman looked at him, unsure of how to accept the news, but told Logan he could do it. Kendall let a smile shine, before retracting it. Despite his failure, he was happy to see his younger brother be able to step up. He had faith in Roman. But Roman couldn’t accept it, but Kendall reassured him it was great. That he was happy for him. Kendall pushed everyone to go on with the dinner. But there was a kind of silence. Roman couldn’t eat. He just watched as everyone's forks and knives hit the plate, making that god-awful sound. You just tried to keep Roman calm enough on the outside. You breathed in and out slowly for him, having him follow your league in a quiet way so no one noticed what you both did. But Jess noticed. “Congratulations Rome, you deserve it. Really.” You whispered to him, taking a bite of your food. He nodded, finally deciding to eat after watching you eat. Dinner was awkward. Barely anyone spoke except Kendall and Logan from time to time to ease the awkwardness. But once everyone was finished, they scurried away into hiding like roaches with a flashlight on them. It was as if they’d be next to get the news they didn’t want to hear. Roman could barely move though. He was the last one there with you. You stayed for emotional support. “Hey- come on, let’s get up, alright?” You encouraged him. He was in a complete haze. You grabbed his arm, standing up and tugging. “Come on Rome- it’s alright, come on.” You continued. He just looked up at you, you weren’t sure what he was feeling. His face told you nothing. “I-uh- I finally fucking did it.” He laughed anxiously. He rubbed his face with one hand, roughly going over his jaw and mouth. “I mean- like- what the fuck was that, right?” He continued to just laugh nervously. You forced him up and tried to drag him to his room. “Do you think he was fucking with me? I mean seriously. You can weirdly read him. Do you think he was lying or-“he was ranting. His mind was going too fast. He couldn’t slow down. “Roman- I think he was serious. Now come on. Let’s just get you to your room. You can celebrate there.” You tried to redirect him. You fortunately got him to his room, but Roman could not stop talking about what just happened. He told you everything you just witnessed as if he recounted it to someone who wasn’t there. The door finally shut as you finally let go of Roman.

“I mean- just- y/n I mean come on- you saw that, right?” He reached out for you to comment on his success. But the door shut, leaving all of his excitement out the door as it finally hit him. “I fucking need you.” His mind spoke, before grabbing you once again, pressing you into him. He forced his lips on yours. You froze, not sure you were ready for this just yet. You pushed at first before finally giving in to Roman’s demands. You pushed his body against the wall, your hands roaming his body. His hands stopped yours, not sure if he was comfortable enough to let this go far enough. He pulled away, looking down at you, trying to catch his breath. “You still do like me.” He began to tease, leaning down to kiss you once again. You pulled away.

“Don’t remind me of what a bad idea this is.” You stood your ground. He nodded, watching you carefully.

“But- you didn’t want me back? Not even for a bit? Even if you were trying to get me to fuck you?” He questioned you. You rolled your eyes, denying it.

“Shut up, this is just your little ego boost now that you’re COO.” You denied your feelings towards Roman. He shrugged, knowing somewhat that it was true. Despite being sad about Kendall, the ego boost it gave him completely drove him wild. “Oh yeah- cause- y’know. It makes this so much hotter; don’t you think? You don’t wanna fuck the potential CEO?” He tried to tempt you. He might not fully be there, but he was willing to push his boundaries with you tonight. Especially since you were pissed at him. It was some way to gain control of himself.

The position of COO gave him confidence like no other. It was such a difference since 2 days ago after being taken advantage of in Turkey. He went from a hostage to a COO. You laughed at him, not trying to admit how much you did want him as badly as he did. You had gone months without touching him in any kind of sexual way. You went weeks without even seeing him naked or just in his boxers. You hadn’t allowed yourself to do anything with anyone else either because you weren’t sure it would feel right to do that to Roman. So, you obtained from everything, other than your own hand and toys. And a bit of fantasy you had.

“Oh yeah- cause I’m the slut who’ll fuck the next man in power.” You said in a sarcastic tone. Roman eyed you down before making a proposal to you. “Uhh- do you actually wanna do this though? Just- can we turn the fucking lights off while you just- I don’t know do whatever the fuck.” He never knew how to ask about these kinds of things properly. His sexuality was such a difficult thing for him to get into.

You looked at him, contemplating. “Well- I just-“ You thought, looking at him.

The desperation was apparent on his face. He wanted to be touched by you. He wanted to actually feel whatever you were willing to give him. But if he could avoid any discomfort of looking at himself along with other issues, he wasn’t ready to address.

The look he gave you, nearly pleading to be touched and loved by you, drove you to your decision. You walked to the wall, flipping the light switch off, and turning the lights off as Roman had asked you. You were lucky enough to be able to find his body. It wasn’t completely dark, there was some ability to make out what was in front of you. Your eyes would adjust soon.

Roman grabbed you, excited, but nervous to finally be able to do what everyone else did without it feeling like a chore. He wasn’t willing to actually go through with everything, but anything would be good. “Just tell me whenever you want to stop, okay?” You checked in with him before proceeding. You grabbed his hand and led him to the bed that remained in the middle of his yacht suite. You sat him down, straddling his hips. You sat down, grinding your hips against his, feeling him get hard almost instantly.

You pressed kisses down his jaw and neck, making sure not to leave marks. You didn’t want people to see their new COO with brand new marks on him with only the possibility being a few people that actually gave it to him. His mouth was closed shut, letting hums out. His body tightened as he felt pleasure taking over from simple kisses. It felt nice. He was comfortable enough. “Do you wanna take my clothes off or…?” You tested his boundaries. He nodded quickly, grabbing the end of your shirt before pulling it over your head and throwing it off somewhere. He hesitantly placed his hands on the curves of your waist, feeling them move slightly as you continued to grind into him. You tried to get yourself off in some way. You leaned down, kissing him. Your lips moved together softly, taking this slowly. You moved your hands down to his shirt to remove it before he stopped you. You removed your hands and placed them away from the end of his shirt. You moved yourself away from his lap, moving his legs apart. You leaned down, not breaking the kiss as you got down in front of him. “Tell me when to stop. You reminded him. You kissed down his jaw to his clothed chest before moving away. You laid your head on his thigh. He stared intently, nodding slowly to let you know he was okay to move on. You nodded back before undoing his hands for him. You nearly removed his pants before he stopped them at a certain point. He laid back, propping himself up on his elbows. He wanted to watch you. He hated the sight of himself but adored the sight of you. “You’re so fucking gorgeous.” He praised you, running his fingers through your hair. Your hands moved towards his cock before pulling it from under his boxers. You looked at Roman again, asking for consent to move forward. Your guidance helped him a lot more than he had expected. Without it, he would’ve stopped nearly immediately. “Touch yourself.” Roman demanded in a soft tone. He didn’t want to sound too controlling, but the neediness in his voice gave away the urgency of how much he wanted you to. You obeyed, licking your fingers before slipping them into the waistband of your shorts. You pressed your fingers against your clit before licking your other hand and stroking Roman at the same time as you touched yourself. His head threw back, biting his bottom lip to keep quiet enough. He couldn’t show off how desperate he truly was to finally be touched by someone. You picked up the pace, watching his reaction getting quicker and more dramatic. He never stopped you though. His head came back to watch you.

“Uh- fucking-uh just- fucking blow me or something.” He tried to get his thoughts in line but was too distracted by your touch. It was intoxicating. You giggled at how much of a mess he was. He needed you so badly. “Don’t fucking laugh.” He seemed almost offended. He held your head in his hand, not pushing or shoving you. Just following whatever he had seen in some kind of porn video he had seen, assuming this was right. “How bad do you need it though?” You asked, slowing down the pace, and pressing a kiss onto the tip. His body twitched, not expecting it to be so sensitive. “Really really fucking bad. Now please- just…” He begged before you finally did as he asked. Your lips wrapped about him, bobbing your head down and up. His lips were slightly separated as he let soft profanities slip through his mouth and whimpers. You picked up a quicker pace, learning what he liked very quickly. He wasn’t too hard to guess. His mouth hung open, his breathing getting heavier the closer he got. He finished quickly, embarrassed immediately as he did. He hid his face in a pillow and humiliated with himself. He wasn’t able to last longer than a couple of minutes. You got up, washing your mouth out, unsure how comfortable Roman would be to receive kisses from you afterward. You came back to see him sulking about being basically sexually inept.

“Hey-…” You sat on the bed, removing the pillow from his face. “Did you have fun at least?” You asked. He nodded, sighing.

“Yeah- Sorry- I just- Sorry I can’t fuck you properly.” He muttered the words out quickly. You let out a stifled laugh, shaking your head.

“Awe shut the fuck up. I had fun. Come on. It was sexy.” You tried to cheer him up. Despite not being able to even get yourself off, it was rewarding watching Roman enjoy himself enough. You planted a kiss on his cheek before getting up to turn the lights on.

“Did you- did you like it though?” Roman asked, insecure about his own abilities. You turned and nodded. “I had the best time Roman. It’s a huge step. I’m proud of you regardless…” You admit, planting another kiss on his lips. “Do you want me to stay over?” You asked. Roman nodded, moving himself to give you enough room on the bed. You scooted in, undressing into just a shirt and underwear before you got in with him. He stayed quiet, finally holding you again for the first time since Dundee. That had to be about 2 weeks ago at this point. He was just glad to finally have you back here with him. He wasn’t going to fuck this up anymore.

You both had fallen asleep fairly quickly.

When Roman woke up a deep set of emotions began to finally sink in. He was COO and Kendall was now going to take the blame. He had taken the job his brother had been waiting for his whole life. And it was all over for Kendall. Roman was conflicted. He was so excited and happy about the position but upset with his brother. This was an injustice done to Kendall. But they were going to have to do a press conference to push out the news. He wasn’t sure if the public would even accept him being COO. His reputation wasn’t the cleanest. He didn’t look fit for the job. But he felt he could do it. You made me feel like he could for the past couple of months. He was grateful for you.

Kendall had been sent out to the states while the rest of the family stayed back. Jess had left with Kendall, and she assured me Kendall was still keeping her on. She assumed he was going to need her for other ventures he might be planning to do.

You felt your stomach turning as you were watching the press conference. It felt sickening. Almost like watching a Shakespearean tragedy but modernized. “I can’t fucking believe this is actually real…” You whispered to Roman. He nodded, biting on his fingernails. He couldn’t either. Everyone watched as if it was watching a slaughter happen on camera. Kendall finally came into the frame before finally talking into the tens of microphones. You leaned in forward, anticipating his announcement.

Kendall then turned against his statements, trashing his father and the company on live television. He had notes set up. Roman got up and rushed to the common room that kept Logan and Shiv. You ran after him. “Fuck…” You murmured. You couldn’t tell if you should be happy or angry at Kendall. You were upset he would ruin his brother's new position, but glad he was standing up against Logan.

Logan watched, feeling a sense of pride. Kendall finally learned the game that Logan has been playing for decades. “We have to go…” Roman whispered to you. You nodded and followed his lead.

“I can’t- holy fuck- fuck- fuck-fuck!” You couldn’t believe what you watched. Roman stayed quiet. He was annoyed he ever felt sorry for the fucking asshole. This was his plan the whole time. He didn’t want to give up the COO position because he was trying to do good by their dad. He wanted to spite his father, even if it ended up hurting Roman too.

Roman’s memories of Kendall putting things before him, rushed to the front of his mind as Roman ranted to you about what an inconsiderate loser he was. How he never truly cared. How Kendall was a psychopath.

“I mean- what the fuck? Right? I mean he encouraged me for getting the COO position. And then he goes and does this? Is he fucking insane? Is he trying to put me in fucking jail or something? I’m too gorgeous to go there. Fuck no. Fuck that cunt.” He couldn’t stop ranting. It really hit you that he put everyone in the company in trouble. Anyone slightly involved could go to jail. This wasn’t just a feud. This was a war to Kendall.

“Ken’s not gonna send you to jail…” You tried to ease Roman’s thoughts. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “No- no more defending that cunt. Kendall isn’t some sweet little no chin having sensitive latte sipper. He’s just as fucking crazy as all of us. He’s doing this out of some crazy drug-induced fucking psychotic break.” Roman called it out. But you weren’t sure if that was truly the case. Kendall did seem to have a lot of regrets and a lot of emotions towards the victims and the incidents that happened.

A slam on the bedroom door occurred, startling both of you. “Roman- get your hand out of your fucking pants and let’s fucking go.” One of the staff called out. You grabbed your stuff and rushed out. You got a look from everyone as they were just down the hall. Why would your stuff be in Rome’s room? Logan was too busy to focus on his son’s relationship with his assistant, not that Logan had any room to talk.

You had gotten into the helicopters, landed in a landing strip, and waited for the private jet to finally arrive. What a fucking nightmare. They didn’t even know where we would fly to and had no pilot for another idea.

Roman tried to ease his father, only getting insulted. Poor Hugo had to be stuck in a car with him. You frantically were texting Jess for updates. All she could tell you was that Kendall was completely out of his mind right now. She thought he was having some kind of midlife crisis. You both passed over information to each other, worried about where this would end.

But Jess thought Kendall was justified, while you were severely on the fence, especially since Roman could potentially see jail time for this.

You decided to stay out of all the discourse, unsure if it was any of your business.

Logan had been scarily silent. He wasn’t yelling anymore. Just genuinely curious and delirious. He had decided to call Kendall. That’s when the threatening began, and he was back to regular Logan. You overheard everything, rushing to Roman. “Hey-uh- how you holding up?” You asked.  

“Uh- well, my brother is a drug addict mentally ill man who wants to ruin us and my dad an angry delirious….” Roman began to whisper so Logan would hear. But he cowered under his father. Everyone did. Roman just fed into Logan’s game and tried to discredit Kendall.

“Uhh- I don’t know if this could help… But I’ve been texting Jess all day and she’s been texting me things we could use against Kendall.” You prompted, catching Logan’s interest. He raised an eyebrow and asked you to read the texts out loud. You nodded quickly, grabbed your phone, and read the texts out loud. “Ken is off his meds….. ken is going fucking nuts again…. I think naomi is feeding this fucker coke again there’s no fucking way….. uhhhh….. ken def is bd…. He’s hitting rock bottom….” You tried to pick out the texts and even handed the phone to Hugo to read them. “We could use this. This could be a source. Someone close to Kendall. It could work.” Hugo admits to Logan. Logan tried to think it through before finally deciding. “Whatever we could use on the ungrateful fucking bastard.” Logan grumbled under his breath.

Logan walked off, leaving you, Roman and Shiv alone. “Uhh- I-I-I don’t know why I just fucking did that…” You deeply regretted your decision. You put Jess up there now. Jess was now involved. Holy fuck. Oh no. Fuck FUCK FUCK FUuuuucCKK. HOLY FUCK.

“It’s alright. We gotta bring this fucker down.” Roman tried to settle it. “No! I- I don’t know why I involved Jess. Holy fuck… Oh god…” You panicked. Shiv got up quickly, wrapping her arms around you. She shushed you and tried to keep you from spiraling. “Shh- hey this is business. I’m pretty sure Jess knows that. You’ll be alright.” Shiv tried to remind you. “I mean look at Tom. You basically cooked him alive twice and he still thinks you’re a great asset.” Shiv tried to remind you. You nodded, trying to reason with yourself. Maybe this could be fine. It’s not like Jess was going to hate you. Kendall needed Jess. He was acting crazy anyways. He was crazy. You’ve seen how he’s been for the past couple of weeks. He’s gone insane.

Staff had been making calls constantly, trying to find some way to keep this calm. Roman tried to settle his emotions with jokes or insulting Kendall while Shiv kept to herself, trying to soothe herself. You just texted Jess, she was your one way to always relax.

You were scared to see where this was going to end.

Notes: Did people not like the last chapter? I barely got any attention on it and I thought it was a pretty good one.

Chapter 17

[hxlda-hxlda]

Harper!! Hi love!!

Please tell me everything about Poolverine!! I know absolute jack shit about it but the fanart you reblog and stuff looks so delicious xx

fig i could not love you more if i tried. 

poolverine is one of the MANY xmen ships that has eaten at my brain of late, and now u indulge me with asking abt them???? YOU my friend are the delicious one. i will do my best to make this a reasonable length and also understandable.

ok here are our players: you have deadpool aka wade winston wilson and you have wolverine aka logan. 

wade is a vigilante who started as a hitman. he has basically no morals except for his soft spot for abused children as he was one himself. he talks to much and copes with immense amounts of trauma via humour. he harbours a need to be needed + also a slight hero's complex but has been rejected from every cool and reputable superhero team there is (on account of the no morals). but, occasionally saves his dramatically and heroically saves his loved ones and more recently, the entire universe. wade has stage four terminal cancer but also the ability to rapidly regenerate his cells, thus, he not only is constantly surviving his cancer, but literally anything else. severed arm? no problem. body full of bullets? sure, give him like 30 seconds.

logan is 200 years old and has fought in literally every war ever. he is deeply traumatised (see: every war ever) and considers himself no hero, preferring his whole 'im a lone wolf i need no team' ideal. unlike wade, he IS a foundational member of one of the coolest superhero groups; the x-men, though he is adamant that he doesn't care for the team or actually want to be part of it (see: lone wolf, deeply troubled). like wade, logan can regenerate from almost anything. he has a near-indestructible metal welded to his skeleton as a result of a crazy scientist, metal claws that protract like a kitty cat's, and generally wolf-like instincts. these abilities are on account of him being a 'mutant'.

mutants are born with/have developed special genetic mutations (like claws or regeneration or laser eyes, etc). they are, generally, hated in this world. if the x-men series does one thing right, it makes for a wonderful analogy on fear-based discrimination on account of human differences (being a queer person and an x-man fan is not for the faint of heart, man). mutants and humans are constantly pitted against each other. groups like the x-men try to bridge the difference by proving they are not dangerous but only trying to live regular lives without having to hide. you can guess how well this goes (not at all well).

i hope you're with me so far.

now, logan eventually ends up (spoiler alert!) dying despite his healing factor by sacrificing himself very heroically and tragically - proved to be the x-man he always claimed he wasn't. he is remembered as a hero, THE x-man, etc. wade, not accepted into the x-men, has this one sided beef with dead-200yrs old-superhero logan.

cut to years later. wade has given up his vigilante/hero ways on account of all the rejection and everyone's disbelief that he could ever actually save the world/do anything remotely serious and genuinely heroic. however, all of wade's loved ones will die if he can't save the world this time. no one trusts he can actually do it, but it's all down to him. uh oh! dilemma! even worse? wade needs logan to save the world. logan who is still super dead, which isn't very helpful.

fear not! multiverse! long story short wade searches a bunch of parallel universes until he finds A logan that might work with him. unfortunately for the both of them, he ends up teaming up with who is known as the 'worst wolverine'. if logan from wade's timeline was traumatised, this guy's on a whole other level. worst!logan is responsible for the death of all the x-men in his universe, those who he definitely loved but refused to show he did - preferring to be an angry alcoholic over any kind of hero. if original!logan had few morals, this guy has none. he's not a nice guy. but that's okay, wade isn't really one either.

the fun dynamic we now have at play is: wade, not a hero, wants to be a hero, needs to be a hero but can't be. logan, a hero in literally every other universe, refuses outright to be one. both: sad. both: also capable of regenerating no matter what. both: with anger issues and violent tendencies and can be stabbed by the other a million times and never sustain lasting physical damage. aka: your match made in heaven. wade needs logan to become a hero to save all his loved ones. logan's loved ones are all fuckin' dead, why should he care? the parallels are beautiful and unending.

in the film that has just come out, the whole thing is basically a gay sex metaphor where they stab each other a bunch and definitely fall in love a bit (a lot), ending with worst!logan leaving his own timeline to permanently join wade's (which they did successfully save after they BOTH make the hero play and sacrifice themselves for each other yet both managing to survive). in the fics that have since further developed this dynamic, you see a lot of two men who have never known kindness or gentleness in their lives learn that they have to be slightly gentle bc they're both traumatised and unloved af (but also, not too gentle, they're both literally indestructible). and of course, you get some really delicious and artfully grotesque smut because they both have massive pain kinks and are, again, indestructible.

and that's the gist! logan generally can be shipped with quite literally anybody on account of the fact that he is a canonical whore and also the whole x-men team is a disaster of homoerotic relationships. however worst!logan x wade has a very special place in my heart.

i had so much fun with this. even if you read none of this, i thank you anyway for asking. everyone in my real life is sick of me talking about my silly little superheroes.

and fig, if you ever wanted to delve into the realm of tragic gay superhero ships, i recommend something called 'stucky'. it has nothing to do with the x-men but good god does it have the same brilliant awful-ness of wolfstar. i can make a whole seperate post about that some other time.

[kxosrexgns]

⸺ KIARA && KOVU

( FC: samantha logan && aubrey joseph )

the two have known each other since they were in elementary school/little kids.

kiara is set to become the next ruler of the pride lands, and she wants kovu to be her king.

also- for context, because i'm adding in almost every fairytale even the ones with animals they are explained in a way similar to an Animagus from HP. aka they can turn into whatever animal they're supposed to be opposed to being those permanently.

kovu has saved this girl’s life on more than one occasion.

( it’s not my fault that people keep trying to plot against my life - Ki )

( by people you must mean yourself and your clumsiness - Vu )

if you know the lore- these two actually met when they were kids and kiara was exploring the pride lands & the two ran from a group of crocodiles together.

because of who kovu's mom is ( ms zira ) ig he's "technically" considered a VK, but like i could see him also living in auradon because his mom dies pretty soon/early in his life and in the story of the LK

kovu helps kiara realize her flaws and find ways to fix them. a part of their first interaction was him making fun of her for "always doing what daddy says" and when he then sees that she doesn't/didn't really listen to anyone, he basically teaches her abt herself

he says that she doesn't understand how privileged she is compared to everyone that goes against her family/has been banished

at first kiara thinks he's a dick and disregards him entirely, but then she starts noticing how she treats other people n is like "oh shit.. i do kinda just do shit without thinking of the consequences for others"

kiara ends up running into kovu in the pride lands on one of her supposed unsupervised runs around the pride lands

their theme song is Roommates ⸺ Malcolm Todd

they are in love your honor !! like this song, to me, is from Kovu's perspective. like-

I'm losing the person I was when I found you Am I acting different when I'm not around you? I'm being dramatic, I say that I'm losing I wanna show you all the things I've been doing I'm going on dates and I'm hanging my head I wanna share an apartment, a room and a bed I wanna tell you I love you but I cannot reach you I'm learning to lose, that's the thing they don't teach you

^^ like imagine this is all around the time their families were still beefing and Kovu's mom was still pushing him to marry off for power and kill kiara's dad. but he realized he started falling for her and the guilt he felt throughout the whole thing???

this part - being when he's noticing how he's smiling more, nicer to her, and genuinely having fun with her while they're secretly hanging out as kids.

the red section being him denying it and choosing to attempt to move on in order to please his mother, but it never working out???? sjhfdabkud

and the purple part just being him finally admitting all the feelings and wanting to share parts of his life with her

the pink section being about how he's never felt heartbreak before and now that he has her and this feeling he's mourning the loss

god these two have me in a chokehold

although she gets herself into dangerous situations, and though he may not like it, kovu will never force her to change her mind. he knows she's strong willed, its part of what he loves about her and he would never ask her to change herself, he just asks that she always let him join her.

kiara makes a point to never make kovu feel like he's unwanted/unneeded. especially because of all the possible trauma and issues surrounding his mother, her abuse ( LES NOT FORGET HIS FACE SCAR ), and generally being exiled twice.

these two are constantly in awe of each other it's actually so adorable. like kiara gets to show kovu so many cool things about the pride lands as well as its people.

they're the type to never run out of things to say. kiara is a biiiigg yapper, kovu's more of a listener ⸺ that and this mf is the type of guy to admire her while she talking, whether that be to him or not. head on his hand n everything, no shame.

"In a perfect world, one we've never known, we would never need to face the world alone. They can have the world; we'll create our own."

ALSO!!!! THIS SHIT ^^

To Be Continued . . . if i decide to add more.

[murkystarlight]

Screw it.

Dreamzzz season2 spoilers pt.1

(And my personal comments)

Alright. Starting from episode 1

I didn't realize that Cooper having a sudden interest in chips would be a hint to something later(it probably isn't but it seems like it to me). Cooper apperantly had a full list of things to fix and make... also the Night Bureau really can't do their job done properly can they. How does Cooper go to school? And study? And get good grades?? Also love how everyone names their cars

It was cool seeing Sneak working with them. And Nova, too bad they... uh- dissapear after like... episode 4? I think

Mateo trying to find a way to get z-blob back, and the Nightmare king... why is he such an icon all of a sudden?? Like-

Also, I like that how Mateo got the kid show treatment. Might as well sing 'we're all in this together'

And Dallas joining the knitting club!!

It was pretty nice. Just a simple small detail, but I like stuff like that so... Looks like he's not going to be bullying anyone now

It was very fun watching the crows(ravens? Don't remember) snatch their memories. When I saw what the memories that was stolen were about I started screaming like-

I actually think they all have a good reasoning. Logan always loved his music(would've been better if he forgot how to sing entirely) , Cooper... well he's the tech guy, and for Izzie, she was the who accepted the dream world the fastest. Who liked it the most in the first season right? There are more cool and amazing reasons than this but my stupid brain can't think of anything else right now

Episode 2

Apperantly there's a lava realm? Cool

Mr. Oz being angry, Logan being.. well, Logan. And Cooper is just adorable. He's having so much trouble. His purpose in life kinda snap

And when everyone else just jumps into the castle, Izzie takes her time to take the stairs

And Izzie having trouble with "dont open your mouth" she's so funnn

I had trouble understanding Astrid-

Royce guy has a weird whistle.

Cooper looks so happy until his mind went blank and his face is just- 'dude wait, what was I doing?' I thought he lost his tech skills?? Why did he become... dumber? It's cute though

"Sorry-" _ Izzie

Also, Logan said a lot of smart stuff in this episode. One of my favorites was

"If I forgot it, how would I know?"

Mr. Oz trying SO hard not to swear. I could see the struggle-

And the flash cards 😭 when did they get a rule book?!!(first ep)

Also, how many eggs do you think Cooper cracked. How does he not remember how to not but a bolt and screw together?? Just- stick it in! Learn to do it again? Poor thing

And the Night Hunter! +Susan and Snivel. They're a bunch of sillies

Cooper getting pressured by his family again- (is it just me or does he get his character development after like... two episodes and be the one stable guy holding the team together? He's useful. Like actually useful) Cooper's voice also wouldn't stop cracking

"Do you ever get sand in your eyes? Or your shorts?" (The Sandman had legs?? Yes, had. He... he gone now.)

Also kinda funny how all of Mateo's dreamcrafting gets blob-ified

"The one time! I actually want to hear your beats, and you forget?!"

Zoey! Why would you randomly jump into a cauldron!! (Also, the Night Hunters memory being Zoey- I already had a feel)

Mrs Castillo is the best

I'm also very curious of... what or who the Never Witch is??

There is a lot of pushing and shoving people. And it's only the second episode

Also-

"So you're not the tech genius you used to be. You still got- ....uh.... what other talents do you have?"

Oh godddd noooooooooooo he said it- Oh god........

"I'm gonna go drown my troubles in the candy realm" (kids. Too much sugar isn't good for you)

(He can't even figure out how to put his phone on silent anymore) he got an A+ in a science project, by cooking?? I thought it was a SCIENCE PROGECT??

Imagine a kid suddenly pulling out an apron and asking for a kitchen to work in. During a science project (he's a chef now), he also just... kept the flan? Thing, in his locker-.... is that... okay?

I mean... I did watch this science show on Netflix about these super smart girls and their names being mc². And one of them bakes. Using science. I mean... science works in everything... and I guess if the teachers said okay then its.. okay?

Sandman and Never Witch fighting, he will be remembered. It was pretty cool actually. I wonder if they have any history

Next part

Bonus(also the reason of why I said screw it)

[thenhlteaissuperhot]

What are your good and bad surprises in the league so far?

There are, of course, significantly more examples than this, but I don't want this to be a long-ass post so I will just point out my personal highlights of highlights - naturally, they are quite Czech-centered since that's my main interest:

GOOD

The Bruins - obviously.

To be honest, I was slightly anxious about their fate from now on since losing two elite centers like Bergeron and Krejci at the same time, and also guys like Orlov and Bertuzzi, does leave you quite vulnerable, especially after a crushing first-round exit like they have experienced, but they have honestly been rocking it so far and I love it for them.

The Poitras kid, Zacha stepping up his game and delivering as the first center, Pasta showcasing that he very much belongs in the top 10 of the league, Swaymay with Ullmark being the best goaltending duo in the entire league, Marchand giving slays left red right as a captain, the defense being solid...

Filip Hronek in Vancouver

The Hughes-Hronek defensive pairing is among the best right now, they have clicked extremely well with each other, Filip is getting extreme ice time, and I am glad that at least someone from the former Red Wings is thriving in their new home

Quinn is literally leading the defensemen in points and Filip is 4th, which is insane, considering he has never been viewed as a top defenseman among Czechs

Anaheim and Arizona

They still won't make the playoffs, we all know that so let's not be delusional here, but they are finally getting genuinely fun to watch and showing us the immense potential they have.

Logan Cooley is doing great for a rookie in Arizona, has eight points already... - imagine what Bedard would be able to showcase if he had at least a slightly decent team around him

Lukas Dostal in Anaheim's net...

Jack Hughes and Elias Pettersson - for obvious reasons, just look at the stats

BAD

Edmonton

Honestly, has someone told them that having Leon and Connor on the team doesn't mean you don't have to invest in the defense and goaltending because I feel like they genuinely don't know that

Is it really that hard to look around and fetch at least a solid goaltender? They are the complete opposite of Boston right now in terms of the net - sorry not sorry, but they don't have a single goaltender they could truly rely on, both of them are equally struggling and the awful defense is certainly not helping them. Just go look in the European leagues, there are a ton of outstanding goalies who would be eager to play in the NHL if you gave them the chance

Imagine how sore Leon's shoulders must be right now from carrying the team - you can't depend on one elite player to drag you through the mess, you yourself are responsible for, you have to have some sort of backup when one of your stars gets injured

Jonathan Huberdeau

You gotta feel for Calgary right now - signing this guy to an 8-year, $84,000,000 contract and him scoring two goals for you in ten games played...

Jakub Vrana

I was genuinely hoping that St.Louis would be the right destination for him in terms of them giving him the space and ice time to showcase his skills and solidify his position on that roster, but instead, it's the third team that makes him a healthy scratch

I know that there is a lot of pressure there for the team to perform so it might not be entirely Jakub's fault, however, this really is his last chance to stay in the league and currently, he is not delivering the results needed for him to be given another contract

Dominik Kubalik

Watching him at the Worlds where he was single-handedly leading the points of the Czech team and scoring basically every single game at least once, I did have great expectations of him, but so far, he has scored only two goals in Ottawa.

I am not that knowledgeable about the Senators - frankly, the only piece of information I know is that Tkachuk, Stützle, and Giroux are there and that Ryan Reynolds wanted to buy the team before he invested in yet another trash called Alpine in Formula One, but knowing Kubalik, his problem probably is the lack of ice time and competent linemates, which I am not sure is going to improve any time soon

Genuinely hurts to see another former Red Wing struggling

[logankisseswade]

My Love and mostly hate for X-Men: First Class explained, aka, what this huge X-Men Fan calls the worst X-Men movie of all time(lol)

back in 2011 when X-Men: First Class was released, me and my sister decided to watch it on dvd rental release, naturally, whenever an interesting movie comes along, especially something that we've always been a fan of ever since childhood, we like to give things a shot, no harm done right?

well, you would think(lol)

X-Men: First Class is what I personally consider to be the worst X-Men movie, number one, it's directed by matthew vaughn, whom I personally detest because the asshole is an obvious dinosaur misogynist and misandrist, that's right, typical stupid Hollywood director that views both genders through a completely trashy and sexist lense and pretends to care about both genders, but I digress, so yeah, the director is an asshole, number 2, jennifer lawrence is a terrible and disgusting actress(that's a conversation for another time lol), number 3, most of the young mutants in this movie are dumb asses I couldn't give 2 shits about, number 4, Kevin Bacon who is a good actor ended up playing one of the worst and cheesy villains of all time(and not the good type of cheesy), his performance was just bad and brutal and felt like alot like an Austin Powers villain only you weren't laughing because this stupid movie wasn't a parody, although it sure as hell feels like one, a really bad one

this movie has too many fucking flaws to count, the forced heterosexuality of Charles Xavier, who is obviously a Gay Man, he's the Harvey Milk of the X-Men for crying out loud

I need to talk about the highlights/the good things about this movie now

1.) James McAvoy as Charles Xavier

ever since I was a fan of the original X-Men growing up, I was always curious to see who they'd get to play a young Charles, when they cast James McAvoy, I fell head over heels in love with the guy, he's a beautiful Scottish actor who often plays British characters and he has the natural sensitivity and compassion of Charles Xavier, his portrayal although at times suffered some mild cringe, was still a stellar and beautiful young portrayal of the leader of the X-Men, McAvoy's performance of Xavier was at it's best in X-Men: Days Of Future Past, I honestly think he should've been nominated for a BAFTA for that performance, his performance was so good and beautiful that everytime I rewatch that X-Men movie, I'm in tears because he put his entire soul into that performance, you believe that this compassionate man is at his lowest point, you see a man who loves others so much but now he's at rock bottom and now he needs help from the greatest X-Man of all time(Logan Howlett aka "The Wolverine"), but I digress

James McAvoy as Charles Xavier is one of the biggest highlights of this film for me

it angers me that they could've went further with the Civil Rights Allegories of the 1960s and 1970s, to me Charles Xavier has always been a cross between Martin Luther King Jr and Harvey Milk, both men were great leaders and were both pacifists, they wanted equal rights for everyone and didn't view violence as the answer and both were also killed because of their brave views

what this movie missed was the opportunity to make Charles Xavier into a canon Gay Rights Leader

to all us of X-Men Fans all over the world, majority of us have always assumed that Charles Xavier was a gay man, we could read in between the lines that he once had a romantic relationship with Erik Lehnsherr aka Magneto, the man who is now his "enemy",

did anyone really buy that cheap ass fuck scene in the bar where Charles was trying to pick up a random woman? you call that flirting? I call that forcing a gay character to say stupid hetero things that they would never say in their lives unless they were deeply closeted

the entire time, throughout the whole movie, you can just feel the sexual/romantic tension between both Charles and Erik, these 2 men are head over heels in love with each other, but their views are so conflicting that it causes them to fight and not have a chance of being together/having a healthy romantic relationship

it's a tragedy, it's good story telling but it's also tragic

Charles and Erik are Gay and always have been, they're a tragic gay couple that can't be together because their beliefs aren't uniting them

2.) Michael Fassbender as Erik Lehnsherr

X-Men: First Class is the first time I've ever seen Michael Fassbender in a role and my God was he the perfect choice to be a young Erik Lehnsherr

honestly, without Michael and James' performances, this movie would completely fall apart and I think most people wouldn't even remember it

their chemistry is amazing, you actually believe that these 2 guys are head over heels in love with each other but because of their beliefs they just can't seem to find a middle ground with each other

their relationship is almost like Israel and Palestine, only Charles isn't dropping bombs

3.) Hugh Jackman's short Logan cameo

"go fuck yourself", only an icon can say those words and have everyone go wild, everyone knows that an X-Men movie without Logan isn't an X-Men movie worth watching

Logan aka Wolverine is our 80s action star when it comes to the X-Men Franchise, it's like watching a Terminator movie without a call-back or cameo from Arnold Schwarzenegger as the T-800 aka Uncle Bob

I'll admit, when I heard that Hugh Jackman was reprising his role as Wolverine for Deadpool 3, I knew my butt would be in that seat in the theatre, I was like, okay, you got my attention, I love Wolverine, he was basically my sexual awakening at a very young age, I just didn't realize it at the time

so yeah, if it's an X-Men movie, you gotta have Wolfie

4.) That Take That Song that plays in the end credits of the movie

Love Love by Take That is a masterpiece of a song, it actually also fits the theme of the movie perfectly, almost like it's being sung from Charles' perspective

perfect band, perfect song, perfect movie idea, just a movie that has so many fucking problems

now, back to what made this movie so bad

it looked like they were catering to stupid people

it feels almost insulting to our intelligence

Super Hero Fans aren't stupid, we're actually very intelligent and we love good stories that have a positive impact

Stan Lee created the X-Men for the outsiders of society, the oppressed, Mixed Races, LGBT, people with disabilities and so on

so the fact that this movie was catered to a dumb hetero male audience is completely insulting

Gay Men and Gay Women make up a huge part of the X-Men fandom, and don't forget the Bisexuals either as well as others,

this movie could've dealt with and could've shown what life was like for Gay People in the 1960s and the 1970s, they could've made the parallels between Charles Xavier and Harvey Milk,

could you imagine a storyline where Charles becomes the first Gay mayor of New York in early 1970s?

that would've been really epic to see on film and it would've been really heartfelt and revolutionary

this movie lacks a soul, it has heart in some parts, but it caters to an audience that doesn't know what it feels like to be hated on simply for being just you

heterosexual men aren't killed everyday just for being hetero men, Gay Men and Trans Men and Trans Women however are victims of violent attacks everyday, society still hates us for something we have no control over

I know this got long and turned into a big rant about LGBT Rights and issues but I digress, that's another conversation for another time

but this movie really pisses me off, it had the potential to be one of the greatest X-Men movies ever made but because of a retarded director, the movie lost it's soul along the way

[lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie]

💛🩷 (for fanfic game)

Ooh thank you, anon!

💛: Do you ever alter, highlight, or de-emphasize certain canonical traits in a character? If so, why and describe how.

Hm, I always like playing with smaller traits of characters that’s hardly seen. I tend to make Roman a little more innocent since he seems to have this innocent side to him. Sometimes he’s flirty and suave and charming which we only ever seen in the Valentine episode. I also try to write Roman as less dumb because that’s what most of the fandom tends to portray him as. People don’t often see that he’s actually pretty smart.

Sometimes I play with the side of Patton’s that more…for the lack of better words, pushy and unintentionally unaware. I bring it out more to really capture his tendency to be unsympathetic with out meaning to. I try not to make him too clueless but more that he still has a lot of dad things to learn.

Now, Logan I play with like a switch because I’m still getting used to writing him. I try to make him a little less cold because canonically he does care for the others and for Thomas but sometimes he’s too focused on getting things done that he forgets the others are struggling to catch up or have their own issues which makes him come off as cold. Sometimes, if I’m writing logince, I make him more soft. It really depends on the fic and setting. Writing his traits are tricky.

For Virgil, I know the entire fandom hates the poor guy being infantilized and it’s canon that he hates it too so I’m careful to avoid that. I do like writing him a little more snarky, especially when he’s around people he’s comfortable with. I try not to write him as overly worried and nervous all the time because even though he’s anxiety, he’s mostly chill but he isn’t afraid to state his worries so it’s a mix of both but not too much.

For Janus, I love writing him as the side who secretly cares for the others but doesn’t show it. It’s barely cannon so I love emphasizing it. I wanted to give him more character beyond the aunt who drinks wine and lies and talks shit.

For Remus, I tend to keep it close to canon but since I’m a sucker for creativitwins content, I make him protective over Roman. I also just love emphasizing his chaotic side. Fun!

🩷: Do you find a certain character (or characters) easy to write? More difficult -- and if so, do you avoid writing that character (or those characters) when possible?

I tend to avoid writing Patton and Logan because I haven’t quite figured out their dynamic and patterns. I don’t want to make Logan sound like a generic nerd or office worker or a complete cold person. As for Patton, I don’t know how to write him beyond happy and bubbly and then suddenly depressed. Plus I hate writing the word “kiddo” in every other part of his dialogue and I’m not a pun genius.

thanks again for the ask, anon!