#im a medical mess
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i was so proud of myself for being such a big brave girl about this appointment, but now it's the day of and i've metamorphosed into a little baby bitch 🥺 cracked outta that cocoon shivering and shuddering, let me tell you. real goo goo ga ga behavior over here
anyway if everyone could cross their fingers that my blood's not full of like. locusts. or some sort of similar plague, i'd super appreciate it aslkdjflkasjdfkasjfk lmao
#im a medical mess#oooooooooooh turns out im very scared of seeing the blood specialist todayyyyyyyyyyyy#im so tired of blood tests lmaoooooooooo#i hope all my chronic illness buds find $20 on the ground today and i hope i dont make a fool of myself by weeping at this appt hahah
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Wait so Dev STILL needs a cane anyway? Oh the irony.
There are days where he does need it and days where he doesn't!
#fop nature au#Im not a doctor so what I say might not be very medically accurate#I pictured the bullet going through his knee and kneecap#and basically permanently messing up his ability to put weight on it#he probably would have had to get some kind of implant#but it would have been less traumatizing than having his leg entirely chopped off#With the metal leg once it heals at least there will be good days and bad days#days where he can get by without the cane and days where he absolutely needs it
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going insane going insane
#this really got me#i think because ‘we’re on the same kind of medication/we’re the same kind of messed up’ is a bonding moment i’ve experienced#but never really seen portrayed#but especially in this case where it’s like#god#i can’t even explain it properly but something about#paul being this old grumpy lonely alcoholic and angus being this young lonely misunderstood troublemaker#and theres like recognise like#but also#ugh i don’t know im on my lunch break i have work brain#just know this made me insane#the holdovers
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tired
#i was considering not posting this cuz its a mess but#im sure Someone will want to see it or?#neway. get this guy a nap or something#doodles#tf2#tf2 medic
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The two tfc mercs that I find the most fun to write. They also happen to have the most intense one-sided beef upon first meeting
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Due to (most) of fandom's opinion being that cmedic (as tf2 medic's exact opposite) was a relatively nice dude, several of those angels made the unfortunate decision to join my version of BLU- hence priming mercs like cdemo to get used to pushing medics around by the time the current cmedic got employed.
Cdemo to me is like,,a very tactile fratbro who initially treats everyone as a buddy (before that same attitude takes completely different meanings depending on who he sees as lame) and is quite overbearing at times, but legitimately an expert at what he does despite acting like a bonehead. He can either be a ride-or-die friend, or that dude who shoved kids in lockers back in highschool.
I'm trying to find a balance of 'endearing little freak' and 'a product of their time' to the tfc cast (keyword here is Balance, im not going out to write full-on bigots). I wish I could say more about them but im pretty shy about making my fic public lol
#tfc#tf2#tfc medic#classic medic#cmedic#tfc demo#tfc demoman#classic demo#classic demoman#cdemo#my ch1 is a mess#introductions are my number 1 enemy#beta reader what beta reader we rawdog this fic like men#which is why im so hesitant to post it
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My farmer arc
#yeah its way to late in the year to be hatching but this is florida where crackheads and repu-#anyways it doesnt get truly cold until january and they will be fully feathered by then#they have a mom#and she is UH WARM#shes a silkie so you know brooding powerhouse#my mom's silkies actually#these guys arent mine but she dont mess with them and Sarah wanted to brood on a clutch so i let her#FIRST TIME TOO SHE DID GREAT the other 3 eggs are a little younger so they will probably pip tomorrow#only one death and it was from an unobsorbed yolk#being medicated has been fucking fantastic i have a normal relationship with the internet so far and i have been like....idk healtheir?#still haveing heath problems like CURRENTLY RIGHT NOW AS IM TYPING IM IN PAIN but like overall mental health is FANTASITC i dont feel manic#anymore at all its just nice and good and ive gotten out of the years long brain fog ive had for the most part it seems#sorry for the turbo haiatus but i said before i post on my own terms for drwwings and comic#i have to thank you all with being very patient with me so eveeyone gets a cute Chick picture
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James being both a repairman/robotics expert and a medic is funny to me because he's 100% more gentle with fixing machines than he probably is with people. And it probably also makes Arcade jealous as hell and fuels his disdain towards robots when he sees James being so sweet about repairing them
#he sees james being so delicate with a robot and is trying so hard to stop himself from saying something weird#james just sees it as a thing where you cant really mess around with medical stuff#like you gotta get right on it and fix what you can or you might harm your patient worse than if you fucked around about it#but you can sit with a machine and peer into its insides and touch it so gently and not worry about a ticking biological clock rushing you#im not saying james is a robotfucker btw. he is but its besides the point#vinny rambles#fallout new vegas#james (oc)#courier six#arcade gannon#arcourier
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aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE
#★ arin rambles#‘here we go again’ you think everytime you see my ramble tag. I dont blame you#AVENTURINE AVENTURINE PLEASE SAVE ME WHITE BOY#OH MY LORD#OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS OH MY GOODNESS.#MY JSOE IS RUNNING HES RUINNING MY LIFE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM SO ILL PLEASE I#AVENTURINE. im so serious i can talk about this man all day. and more specifically this video#‘it was just posted 30 minutes ago arin youre scaring the kids’ SILENCE. I NEED SPACE#I NEED A. A MOMENT. EVERYBODY PLEAS GETA WAY FROM ME IM GOING TO GET SO SCARY#Please. Im so sorry. Im begging you . I love this man oh my gish please hes so cute#HES SO CUTE. HES SO CUTE IM SO SICK OF HIM WHY???????? WHY IS HE SO PRETTY HES SO PRETTY HES GOREGOUS HES SO STUNNING. HELLO. HELLO.#Im going to. Slam my head against the wall im overwhelmed with joy and happiness hes everything ive ever wanted ever#any minute not spent talking about him is a moment wasted i promise you MY PRINCESS IM COMING TO SAVE YOU#IM HIS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR EXCEPT ITS NOT SHINY#IM COVERED IN DIRT#IM STILL COMING FOR YOU AVENTURINE RUN#oh goodness me oh my#im so happy hes so prettu im so happy i cant do rhis im sweating geniumnly i feel so sick#Im cant . Do this anymore. I CANT TAKE IT. I HAVE TO… AAUGH… AAAHH… I HAVE TO…. DANCE!#guys…. he my favorriet…#my slinky….. my krimpet… my teacup i think. My doc mc stuffins doctor playset. My dishwasher. My italian coldsteel cinquedea . atp anything#hes my EVERYTHING. MY EVERYTHING…!!!!!!!! *MY TELEKENISIS THROWS EVERYTTHING ACROSS THE ROOM*#yall i dont think ive had a hyperfixation this horribly bad since. Since the. Since. MAN I DONT KNOW#IM COOKED. HE WOMT LEAVE ME ALONE. I LITERALLY DREAMT OF HIM LAST NIGHT LIKE IM SO DOOMED? ACTUALLY?#oh to be medicated and focus on . Things like cooking. Or idk. Getting a job. No i just think about some messed up blonde all day im absolut#ly DOOMED#yes im still yapping i got 30 tags u gon stick through them all. Every single one of them. Dont leave me please i want to talk about him ton#TO SOMEONE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM TO SOMEONE ALL DAY. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE TESTING. IM LEFT ALONE ALL DAY I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WIFE#i womder how crazy i look right now#Sighs lovingly at him..
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i know this has been said before but MAN. it really is astounding how many times i, a person with painfully-tired-all-the-time syndrome disorder disease, think to myself:
(≖_≖) ...why in god's name am i so painfully tired today???
like girl please. we know this one. no need to pull out the conspiracy board and string, i think we've solved this particular riddle.
#im a medical mess#(<- that'd be my chronic illness tag for any new faces out there lmao)#like. i've had a fatigue disorder. for about ten fuckin years now. you'd think. my brain. would stop. being. surprised. alskjdflksajdf#gonna take my MEDS gonna take a NAP gonna see if any of that helps bluhbluhBLUH#as always i am blowing a big ol smooch to my chronic illness buds out there - i hope you find $5 on the ground today
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i wish i wasn't the only one thirsting for this german burly beast 😞 i got burned once for posting such brave, controversial art apparently. lmao why are men so scared of other HOTTER half-naked dudes anyway i drew this and hopefully people would love it as much as i enjoyed making it. for any thirsty medic mains out there, im here for yall
#tf2 medic#tf2#team fortress 2#medic#dr. ludwig#ludwig#burly beast#digital art#digital drawing#this was partly inspired by the whole tick tock meme too lmao#i enjoy fun memes cmon now#illustration#anatomy???#lmao#pls tell me im not alone in this :'C#idk if there's a tf2 community here lol i havent used this in ages#also it's a wip sorry for the mess
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I'm going to throw myself off a bridge
#FUCK YOU HEALTHCARE FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YO-#love how im unable to view my healthcare account so im not sure what i have after my fathers retirement#furthermore love how my already shitty doctor doesn't take whatever their database says i have (which is not what im suppose to have)#and to make it better they don't accept my secondary healthcare provider either!#and now the doc has rejected my request for my anxiety meds to be refilled!#so not only do i have a blood test that came back “strange” without them telling me what was wrong#nor can i make an appointment with them to figure it out until my insurance is cleared up (IF it is and the accept it in the first place)#but now i am not allowed to have my daily dose of sanity through this whole mess#can't wait to be on hold for 3+ hours while i wait to figure out my insurance and possibly have to find a new doctor#like seriously? This is already stressful enough and now your refusing to refil my Buspirone? A medication Ive been on for almost two years?#ugh
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Besides some more character bios needing editing, I'm ready for AF2024!
#artfight 2024#artfight#im going to do as much as I can this year!! I really really hate that my ratio is messed up#because of my first two ish years where I had to stop a few days in because of medical problems#it haunts me
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I'm sorry to ask since this may be an important plot element that you might not want to immediately disclose, but will the aforementioned nonconsensual medical procedures/body modifications/alterations in the comic be irreversible?
Irreversible nonconsensual medical procedures/body modification/alteration is a pretty big trigger of mine and this could potentially make or break my ability to read the comic.
If this is a prominent plot element in the comic, would you mind adding this to the tags or clarifying the nature of the medical procedures/body modifications/alterations please? I've really enjoyed your work thus far and I'd like to continue to do so while also being mindful of my own limitations.
Trigger warnings > Plot secrecy
Yes, a lot of what happens in the comic will be irreversible. While all of differing severity, the least severe is the removal and synthetic replacement of bones from a limb. It just kind of gets worse from there, but the worst ones usually have the subject that they've been performed on, uh, die. On accident. That one is consensual, though. Technically.
#residual asks#is it plot important? yes#honestly im not sure what applies to each situation. because there are a lot of asterisks involved#its a big homogenous mess#im confusing myself trying to parse specific situations#the contract and the medically necessary operations muddy the water#anyway ill add the trigger to the list#residuum spoilers
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Girl (Tyler Robert Joseph) if I don't get this job this week AND the Paladin MV still isn't out, I'm gonna **** **** * ******* ****** *** * **** ***** ****** ****
#i need one. job is the vastly preferred option but the paladin mv will console me if i dont get it#i barely slept im so stressed about this 🥲 there's a couple co workers im really convinced will get it over me#and if they do ill be happy for them but like. i need. a job that pays enough that i can pay for health insurance.#or a job that comes with health insurance benefits already but that's less feasible rn for a lot of reasons#i have a bit more time before im kicked off my parents and it becomes actually urgent but augh#isnt it so cool that the us healthcare system wholly depends on your income / job to even access services you#require in order to Not Die or at the very least to maintain the aforementioned job you need to afford access. ha ha.#i know there's medicaid and stuff but im pretty sure that would not cover enough of the medication and blood panels i need#like i need private health insurance. unfortunately#this is too real for the silly ohio band blog sorry but im uhhhh a mess ive been anticipating this position for months#and i want it very very very badly :').
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most fucked up thing about the body's response to not eating is when you're so hungry you feel like you're gonna throw up. this does not make it easier to eat food actually
#literally thanks it did not help#my body sucks so bad at eating#i literally am not hungry until im so hungry i feel sick??#also#even when i remember to eat on a schedule all food makes me queasy i literally cannot win#maybe the so hungry im about to puke thing is just a me problem idk but it is NOT helpful#im also starting a medication that i cant eat anything for two hours before or after that's going to mess up my digestion today 😊#and make me feel awful#but its an alternative to eye surgery so hopefully it will be worth it#but i havent even started it yet and im so queasy just bc i didnt really eat breakfast#its not like i had Nothing i had three bites of cheerios and a coffee....#i would have eaten the cheerios but i was late for an appointment lol#anyway#my digestion sucks and i already cut out gluten and almost all dairy 😤#wtf else is thereee#also somehow magically even tho all food makes me sick and i barely eat regular meals i am putting on weight???#lowkey wondering if im diabetic or something bc this is not normallll
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What happened to Luz and Eda in your Acolyte au? Has Hunter ever met King?
Hunter has met king but they never really had a one on one conversation, because King pretends he doesnt talk (distrusts everyone) , King terrorizes Hunter every now and then by whispering things and then pretending he didnt say anything, just to make Hunter feel crazy, their relationship is terrible because Belos actively pits em against each other.
Eda and Luz have remained largely the same, tho i would believe Eda is more closed on herself , then again without any excuse to always remain at the owl house taking care of King she does end up inevitably going out more trying to get into fruitless relationships to get over Raine (doesnt rlly work of course, i think they would end up meeting again a bit earlier), i think it would be funny if King still ends up snooping around her diary when he gets stuck at the Owl House n sees she had a fling with the head of the bard coven , he absolutely tries using this information in the future.
#asks#emperor acolyte au#i think eda n king´s mother n son thing still blossoms maybe less natural progression and more eda#seeing that loneliness and fear and distrust that has been instilled into king . also the fuck ton of medical trauma too#she ends up seeing a lot of herself in him and doesnt want to scare him away#in terms of the owl beast. have not figured it out yet. considering king wouldnt be there to mess up with eda´s elixir system or provoke he#so maybe she would be? less easily stressed out?#but still very jumpy. im sure luz would find out regardless sooner or later
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