#but never really seen portrayed
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going insane going insane
#this really got me#i think because ‘we’re on the same kind of medication/we’re the same kind of messed up’ is a bonding moment i’ve experienced#but never really seen portrayed#but especially in this case where it’s like#god#i can’t even explain it properly but something about#paul being this old grumpy lonely alcoholic and angus being this young lonely misunderstood troublemaker#and theres like recognise like#but also#ugh i don’t know im on my lunch break i have work brain#just know this made me insane#the holdovers
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Candace’s dairy allergy is brought up a few times in the show but we also see her eating a grilled cheese and moon ice cream so I’m guessing it’s mild or she grew out of it?
But a Candace with a severe dairy allergy would be so fascinating, and so telling as to why she is the way she is. Severe allergies are physically, mentally, and socially draining. Candace already feels lesser than. I can imagine her struggling to fit in at restaurants and getting so anxious over what she can and can’t eat, watching her family and peers eating things she can’t have, trying so hard to just accept and be positive but being jaded and jealous regardless.
like. it fits her character so well. where is my Candace is allergic to dairy which makes her feel isolated and exacerbates her pre-existing anxiety and low self image storyline.
#I have celiac disease so#(that means I can’t have gluten or mt body will get very sick)#(gluten aka wheat. they’re practically the same thing)#I’d give a kidney to see the struggle of a severe allergy/food restriction portrayed onscreen#allergies are usually just used for jokes or as plot lines in a handful of episodes#I’ve never seen them portrayed as what they are: a constant daily struggle#that’s my reality#it would fit really well with Candace and explain a lot about her character in just sayin!#phineas and ferb#pnf#Candace#candace flynn
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okay its no secret i dont buy into marazhai being the persona he puts on. so as i've officially met him in game now, im making a list of all the in-game reasons i think he's a bit of an idiot [which i love btw. i find him far more compelling if he's a bit stupid/weird and he's trying so hard not to be but you just know nobody in commorragh is inviting him to parties]
the very first time you get a glance of him on a rooftop and. 'deal with this' "of course" proceeds to just walk off like 3 seconds after the other two
ambushes you. has you cornered. is in optimal position to kick your ass frankly, high ground and better weapons and utilising shock against you. ...he bitches at you for a while, gets insulted, then runs off into the forest with a maniacal cackle
heinrix fired a mild insult [considering what he's like to everyone else its barely an insult] and he took big enough issue with it to start saying how he'll break him and turn him into a pet. oh sure dude you're responding super well to this mild comment from the guy who accidentally insults everyone and their entire ancestral line at some point
i think it says something that he's learned to speak your language fluently too. that Has to be some kind of Yikes moment to admit publicly in drukhari culture. buried family secret great great grandfather drukhari-georg learned to speak mon keigh and now we claim he just spoke oddly because was shot in the head as a child to prevent the shame
he also knows the mon keigh lore that says youre a super special little guy as rogue trader and actually LISTENS to the fact you're the special little guy as rogue trader. and he does treat you as more equal/with more respect than the other characters. thats not just a drukhari culture yikes thats what gets you checked for a concussion or brain damage
literally socially atrocious enough its believed he's working with you [read: with you. not using you, not manipulating, cooperating. this is a big difference i feel] and only he himself doesnt believe it
ignore the fact he eventually DOES work with you which. is its own follow up statement
challenges you to fight him, to give chase then and there. i made him wait while i went through english government simulator where i queued for multiple days, did multiple day/week voidship trips back and forth, got distracted by accidentally starting jae's romance, pasqal telling me to servitorise her, getting blackout drunk with her, shipwide broadcast tm, giving her a voidship, her getting me a space cat, attacked by pirates, dealt with a plague, explored a few extra systems.......................
he destroys your palace. ...its rebuilt effectively within a week. most of the damage is in bodies which are just sent to the poor district to rot [almost feels worse than the damage done good job imperium]
the throne has claw marks. he could've blown it up or shot it or piled corpses on it but no he wanted to sit on the fancy chair and so turned into a common housecat mauling the sofa arm
how long was he just sitting there lounging on that chair? again see how long i kept him waiting. he was just sitting there trying to find a comfy position on this [for him] kinda small chair JUST so he could briefly taunt, break your window with his space motorbike, jump off the chair in a dramatic [but not gunna lie not that impressive] feat of gymnastics, then fly out. he doesnt even shoot at you as he leaves
i will continue my list as i see more that entertain me
#warhammer rogue trader#rogue trader marazhai#marazhai rogue trader#marazhai aezyrraesh#dont listen to how he tries to portray himself hes LAME and i thoroughly enjoy that about him#like. marazhai is a social outcast on so many levels and he is trying SO hard to compensate. it makes him incredibly interesting#ive seen some stuff of him later on but not all that much so im really curious how it'll go/how well i've grasped him#my current thoughts on him? he's just. fundamentally someone who desperately wants to be understood#but in all his long life he's never found it. and commorragh isnt a place for weakness like that. so he acts over it#he pretends to be some great evil mastermind with a lot of flair which is Intentional. because he doesnt know how to act like other drukhar#so concealing that is the best he's got. he doesnt realise the yawning gaps that show it for what it is and bring distain on him anyway#drukhari hate him because he's not like them. he's odd and dramatic and takes things to heart when he shouldnt but dismisses things he shou#he's tolerated for his blood connections and how it killing him could be an invitation for feud. he's also easy to get out of the way#send him to go chat to some mon keigh he'll be so fixated on setting the stage for the meeting he'll miss the important stuff#humans hate him bc he's drukhari. they believe the way he portrays himself because it fits propaganda#hell he may've even learned how to act drukhari from human stories. it'd fit tbh. ....i want to think more on this now#either way he loses. and tbh thats why i do like the idea of him with pasqal. theyre both freaks and social outcasts despite their ranks#robot rambles
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favourite stupid relationship dynamic: idiots who would immediately protect and defend the other but never themself
#still thinking about how lxl just takes whatever life throws at them without fighting back (esp in the lxl movie)#so it was up to the other (mainly yujiro) to do the protecting (of aizo) since he was clearly not going to do anything about it#poor yujiro never fought back against the longleg/shortleg until aizo was brought up… no sense of self-preservation with that one#‘you can mess with me but not my bf!!!!!’ kind of energy#ig aizo did kind of defend yujiro in the [redacted] anime ep 4 nonsense and pointless scandal scene but that’s about it…#give aizo more chances to play the hero for his cute bf!!!!! the princess carry wasn’t enough!!!!#though. ngl it’s kinda funny how aizo’s always portrayed as the husband and yujiro the wife in their r/s (see: meoto)#but yujiro is always the one fighting for aizo’s honour. l&k novel (i think; still havent read it). lxl movie. chizu hallway scene (kind of)#and even in honeypre he got aizo the werewolf costume (instead of the pumpkin). he was the one who gave aizo a gift on white day (like a bf)#he even turned aizo into a worried wife when he (the bumbling husband) wandered out till late in kyoto to look for a *phone strap*#hm. well. im not sure what the point im trying to make is other than the fact that lxl are idiots for each other ig#they may be really really stupid but they love(?) and support each other (in a sense)… two menaces in a pod.#they should just get married (again)#though speaking of lxl marriage remember when that music magazine spread misinfo about how meoto was set in the sengoku era#and everyone believed it? the mv sure shocked everyone in more ways than one lmaooooooo#lxl twt was on fire that day. ‘horns??? a fantasy setting????? what happened to the sengoku era?????’ it was so funny you h a d to be there#but. hm. we’ve had quite a lxl content drought… disregarding the [redacted] mv they havent been seen in 4 months#throwing out a guess that they’ll get a new song for a winter comiket cd or sth. idk#sure hope that lxl do not get a new song or mv before kimikawaii release though bc that’d be unfairrrrrrrrr
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I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms 👁️👁️👂I’m all ears
I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!
The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.
More:
Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.
Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)
Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like that— oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.
Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4–5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.
Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.
The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.
They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.
And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.
I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.
#and then. and im putting my most controversial opinion in the tags bc im scared lmao. but like... then... you have the fans..... doing......#the same fucking thing.#the amount of times I have seen Wriothesley used as just a side prop for Neuvillette to feel bad about shit. While Wriothesley is just.....#portrayed as having the inner peace and acceptance of a fucking monk. I was shocked when I read some fics I swear#they really said this man has no trauma at all! the stuff in his past? he's over it!#i hate that passivity when writing victims. like ok if One is written like that#sure. but MHY write all their victims like this#I mean look at fucking Lanoire#and Neuvillette sentenced him to prison after he killed his parents who were never confronted by the law. That's canon.#that's more canon than WRLT itself.#why weren't they confronted? did wriothesley try to talk to someone about it? why did he feel like killing them is his only option ?????#at least have there be some sort of conflict and friction there. How does Wriothesley feel about the court and Neuvillette when#this is the literal system that allowed all that shit to happen to him in the first place???#are you Sure he won't be at least a little wary? the fact that some people think he's Grateful to Neuvillette or even idolises him is crazy#because the man literally subjected him to prison. and if you want to portray his prison life as easy breezy and trauma free#you undermine his entire shitty little 'prison reform' narrative#and if you think he'd be completely 100% accepting of the justice system. Then why the fuck would he kill his parents himself#don't you see that the whole 'I'll accept whatever sentence in order to kill my parents' thing in itself is an act of defying the system#and I Hate#this idea. about being some of the most powerful men in the nation. and yet they can't fucking TRY to set up a better system or smth#i can't believe I read a fic where leaving starving street kids croissants is the most they (the characters and the writer) want to do#like. what the fuck. the whole point of that scene is just to make neuvillette feel bad and be like aw......... poor people exist.... OK???#this is literally how MHY would portray him though.... tbf..... This is what ppl would argue as 'in character'#I just think the character they're in is bad.#I will say I'm giving the fic a lot of grief. there's more to the scene than that. and. ultimately.....#fanfic is (saying this through gritted teeth) ........ recreational....................and free........... in the end.................#i dont think this is reflective of the writer. I do think it is reflective of the way the canon material (genshin impact)#presents in the audience who consumes it. most fans only want these guys to fuck anyway. not think about systemic injustices#canon doesn't make it about the systemic injustices either so why should we. the aesthetic of slums and prisons are just there for fun guys#IM JUST CRAZY OK. I SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE THIS IS NOT FOR ME . I DONT CARE THAT MUCH FOR PEOPLE FUCKING AND I CARE TOO MUCH
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My Good Omens fanfictions are kicking off. Or, should I say, Lady Crowley is. In one of the stories, she was supposed to end up with Hastur. No, she decided she wants to be with Michael.
I guess, I'll need to come up with a seperate F!Crowley x Hastur storyline, because I'm not letting go of that ship.
F!Crowley x Michael... I like the sound of that. I really do.
Has happened to all of us, hasn't it? Your superior in the military waltzes in, and seduces the love of your life. Not to mention, that's his pregnant girlfriend, and when he finds out, it's too late.
Whatever, Calla Crowley can still end up an astronomy-obsessed, equestrian pastel goth, if General of the Heavenly Host is her stepmother.
I must say... In one story she's with Satan, in the other she'll be with Michael... Lady Crowley, honey, you keep pulling the Olympians. Good for you.
P.S. - I don't know how accurately to Good Omens I'll portray Michael, since I haven't seen season 2, and it doesn't matter. I have a very particular way I like to see the figure. Honestly, if she isn't the General, and the leader of angels in Good Omens, it's a crime. Because, if she is, why haven't I seen her in armour/uniform in any of the screencaps?.. Either way, her version I intend to paint is amazing.
#diary pages#writing journal#fanfiction writer#good omens#good omens fanfiction#good omens fandom#crowley#lady crowley#fem!crowley#archangel michael#crowley x michael#f!crowley x michael#aziraphale#he gets jilted an i find it hilarious - my mom got on my case for being mean but I don't like that#crowley x hastur#calla crowley#because she gets mentioned here#seriously i don't plan on watching s2 and the screencaps of michael i've seen don't seem like what i want to see for the figure#i... might be attached to his particular angel and have a very particular way I like to see her (or him) portrayed#it's one of these times I don't pay much attention to canon and just do what i want#i pull the portrayal of heaven and hell far more to my preferences also#like i always say i have a love-hate relationship with this universe#i don't even know what drew these two to each other something just did#i have plenty of scenes in mind many of them really really hot#i guess lady crowley wants some f/f action#michael is the angel lover i could never see aziraphale being#i even envision a scene where crowley gets burned by holy water and michael figures out the body swap but is more worried about crowley#for some reason crowley being pregnant when they fall in love is so endearing to me - michael just feels for her unconditionally#seriously she's so fierce and protective in her love#snake crowley just being wrapped around her suggests some hilarious scenes... or hot if it's in the bedroom
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It just occurred to me that we've not had an in depth portrayal of Henry VIII and Jane Seymour since the Tudors. Or just, Jane Seymour in general. So I am really curious to see how Mirror and the Light/Wolf Hall is going to handle them.
We get to know about her family, we'll learn about Elizabeth Seymour as well, and how important she is.
#and maybe we have I just haven't seen#most of the portrayals of jane are very much her being viewed as the 'other woman'#which isn't at all fair#she is never truly given her own type of spotlight#at least until like i said#the tudors#and there is either over pacification of her or over villainization of her#and by pacification - i mean people just portray her as a mindless doe like character#who has no type of motives or goals of her own#when it was her who worked tirelessly to introduce mary back to court#and it was her who was sympathetic to the catholics and the pilgrimage of grace#anywayzzzz#can't wait to see how wolf hall handles her#and if this is going to be a type of portrayal that is everlasting - like the tudors#jane seymour#wolf hall#henry viii#mirror and the light#i do know that most of the focus in the new series is going to be Thomas Cromwell - whom I am obsessed with to the point of#I think it's best not to talk abt him or y'all would look at me weirdly#but what I'm saying is i'm not going to expect *too* much#because the tudors was really focusing on the queens and not the courtiers#and mirror and the light's main focus is certainly the courtiers
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Honestly this fandom really struggles with portraying Sasuke in a romantic relationship in a way that is true to his canon characterisation.
#this goes for fanfic fanart text posts etc#and like it’s okay if it’s acknowledged#but I’ve just seen so much sns and ss fanart#where it’s like#sasuke would not fucking say or do that#it’s one of the reasons I’m not the biggest fan of Sasuke shipping#and you can see this with other ships and characters too#but it’s not as widespread#I think the reasons for this#is that sasuke (in canon) didn’t really have a healthy and loving relationship with anyone other than his mother#and because of his emotional state he treated almost everyone who cared for him badly#and the fandom because of that don’t really know how to portray him in a ‘normal’ romantic relationship#because we have never seen him in one#or have scenes were he is like intimate or loving#or just friendly#naruto#sasuke#sasuke uchiha#sasusaku#sasunaru#sasuhina#sasukarin#etc#mine
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#aotv spoilers#ok you’re asking for my opinions let’s do it#i love louis!!!! im so proud of him and im so happy i got to watch him on his journey for so long and can’t wait for what’s to come for him#and i think my love for him and for his music and for my time in the fandím and for one d etc is what makes this a good watch and why i#liked it because otherwise i have my reservations to the movie and im not going to get into the babygate stuff#apart from the fact that louis trying to get freddie to hug him was extremely awkward and ive never seen less organic thing than the beach#scene and i find it funny they tried to push that as organic so hard#my issue is that it just had a potential to be a much better film is all sksmsk#it is good but it feels a bit rushed and kind of cheap in some ways and i get that’s the style of these biopics sometimes but#like it was such a shame the bg music was not really gold and was always exaggeratedly emotional because it made it cheesy and cheap and#kind of forced#i think it would have a great potential to get many people to say wow this is a strong talented guy and i think it is a great intro but i#think they undersold the movie so it’s not going to have a chance to reach an audience much wider than his current fanbase which is a shame#for his current fanbase it is a solidification and reiteration of his promo season and it is very clear where they want louis to stand and#what they want his image to be like and i think it’s absolutely amazing how they managed to show his growth as an artist and as a human and#and place him in a position where he’s now confident and secure and ready to embark on a new journey etc. although for the fans there’s#nothing new there and i think it’s worth considering how exactly they’re portraying and that they completely left out his relationships#aside from his family and the band#i think it’s important that it was noted he was undersestimated and pushed down and i think they made obvious how much he’s worked on#himself#i think it’s kinda clear they’re using it as a faith in the future promo with the new songs even though the doc ends with the end of the#tour#i think it’s interesting how many rainbow flags they chose to include without addressing the way his shows and fanbase look at all because#if i were from Gp id wonder what’s up with that esp when he only acknowledged the kmm project again#generally i think it’s a good watch that’s very transparent in what it’s trying to do for louis promo and image wise and it doesn’t tell#you anything new but it reminds you why you love this man so much while also leaving you a bit disappointed because this had a much#greater cinematic potential and a lot of it feels either rushed or underfinanced or forced and that’s a shame
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I feel like every review of the Barry series finale that's like 'it was just meh...' is intentionally missing the point cause if they actually had to confront 'hey we as a country venerate service members to an insane degree when, just like normal people cause that's what they are, some of them are bad people. we will jump through hoops to absolve any wrongs these people commit. the police do get it massively wrong sometimes. justice is not always dished out. and we will make a butchered spectacle out of a tragedy for ticket sales.' they wouldn't get many clicks.....
#the way law enforcement overall were portrayed through the series alone I have not seen really talked abt anywhere#but GODDDDD like Janice was ~one of their own~ and they're all still so incompetent and stupid they can't even get her case right#like this show is screaming at you that this dude is PEAK delusional at the end#that's not what god wants for me#Sally tells him. to his face. if he wants to be absolved. he must take responsibility for what he's done.#but he doesn't. and he's absolved anyway. cause they twist his story to fit the#brave marine doing the best he can narrative#when really he killed his friend who was *also* a marine. he killed a lot of ppl. and never took responsibility.#and let's not even touch on how Noho Hank and Christobal are ENTIRELY written out of and forgotten#in the new narrative the movie makes. like those pesky queers further ruin this sterling service member triumphs over evil tale#I'm *obsessed* at this point idk. I've had all night to ponder cause I was up sick all night 😞#hbo barry#hbo barry spoilers
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I fucking HATE how the fandom treats m.ine. it's so bad 😭
#ash rambles 💚#so many shitty takes... too much time on twitter ruins a man#i hear one more person call him a crazy obsessive yandere and i think I'm actually gonna lose it#he's either portrayed like that or as one half of a ship#his actual character is lost on so many people because oOoOOoOOooOoO mInE wAs GaY#i dont doubt that he likes men. it's just that I've seen so many people be weird about it-#also. it's not fucking sexy to wanna kill your partner. a bullet between the eyes isn't an act of love.#I saw a tweet today about how m.ine actually wanted to kill k.iryu because he thought d.aigo liked k.iryu romantically#and m.ine only wants d.aigo to himself. and THAT'S why m.ine wanted to kill k.iryu.#let that sink in. 😐.#i hate how the fandom treats him SO MUCH#i will sit in my corner here. and i will kiss m#m.ine. and we will kiss a lot. and things are good. we are happy. we are far away from all of that.#I'm not saying every fan of his is horrible. I've seen a lot of great stuff and content! but holy shit I've seen some horrible stuff too#and it's hard to not feel like I'm doing something wrong by shipping with him. by loving a guy who the world has always hated.#and ofc I'm not! but still! even whenever i rb content of him here I'm always so afraid ajdhajsj#like ah yes this is the day i finally get cancelled on tumblr dot com for (checks notes) ... shipping with y.oshitaka m.ine??#I'm honestly afraid to take him up to being an official f/o ajdhajsb i think he'll stay in crush jail a little while longer..#i hate how the fandom perceives him so much!!!!!!! i also just hate the y.akuza fandom in general lmao#i do also like k.iryu so.. I've seen shit 😐#I'll delete this later but oh boy i am in a mood#and i know this isnt the first time I've blogged about this#and for that i do apologize. but i really do love this guy and despite wanting to look for content of him i always end up finding the most#infuriating shit!#i know he's done fucked up things. he's not a great guy. but! our relationship is built on mutual trust and i will NEVER write any of that#creepy obsessive shit that the stupid fandom always portrays him as doing! he's not going to kill someone for getting too close to me-#I'm just... upset- get behind me honey! I'll shield you!#and by kissing him I'm not brushing over any of the shit he does in the game. yes he beheaded that guy. yeah he slapped that orphan.#but i adore him and omg i hit tag limit... oopsie daisy lol sorry guys 😭 I'm really sorry for always talking abt this#you were beautiful 💸
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I will say that I never fully watched any helluva boss or hasbin hotel (other than the pilots) but I have one question
If this show is supposed to be inclusive and empowering to queer people
why are all the gay people and furries in hell
#I keep thinking about it#I don't want to watch either show#Despite not being religious anymore I don't like tv shows that clearly do no research and try to portray that stuff#I know it's a parody but it feels a little disrespectful#I preferred good omens bc I could tell there was more research there#Good Omens was more like “yes but not exactly”#from what I've seen helluva boss and hasbin hotel is more like “No you're dead wrong” and I don't really like that#Plus all that stuff about Vivziepop doesn't make me want to support that :/#this is just my opinion really#y'all can ignore it bc I'm never talking about it again#chaos crud
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LEMME SEE THE WIP PLEAAAASE please
OH GOD . listen i never made any promises this was going to be good. okay. the angst hasn't been written yet, so instead i present you with,, whatever this is <3
enjoy!
The man -- Grian, Tim thinks, though god knows why the poor soul's called that -- fidgets in his ill-fitting red sweater, fingers tangled in unravelling thread. Peers at the crowbar in his hand, perplexed.
Tim thinks that maybe he should be nervous; hell, the last time he'd pissed someone off, it had ended with the explosions, and horrible death, and everything. Still, he thinks, shifting in his stance, it's kind of par for the course, at this point.
(He thinks about the amount he's going to have to spend on therapy after this, mourning his poor credit card, then remembers that he does not, in fact, have his credit card on him. Probably because of the aforementioned 'horrible death and everything.') (Are you even allowed to get therapy when you're dead? Maybe heaven has therapy. Maybe it has some kayaks. Tim doesn't come to an answer.)
(Grian doesn't look like much of a therapist, anyway.)
He opens his mouth to speak - something scathing and well-thought out, because he's cool and sexy and not losing his calm - when the guy beats him to it. His voice is, somehow, exactly what Tim had expected: "Woah. That's not in minecraft. ...is it?"
Tim blinks. Blinks a couple times, really, as if that'd make any more sense. It doesn't. "What," he says. He's trying for neutral, but honestly at this point he just sounds bewildered. "You've never seen a crowbar before?"
"Nope," Grian says, sounding awfully cheerful about it. (Really, Tim respects a guy who's never seen a crowbar before. He wishes he hadn't, but, y'know. Clowns, and death, and everything.)
(That being said, Tim pulls it off. At least he's got that going for him.)
"Huh." The silence stretches between them. "Weird."
"Weird," red-sweater hums, nodding in polite British agreement. "Learning a lot about Minecraft, actually. Did you know that in version Beta 1.2_01, you used to be able to milk squids?"
Tim has no idea what half of those words mean. He very much does not want to know about the other half. "I'm an alpha," he tells Grian. Grian nods sagely.
The silence stretches onward.
==
+@yellowsomethings, since the ask doesn't get tagged <3
#this doesn't.. really. have an ending .#but hear me out#i think. everyone portraying grian as a genius is missing out#on how funny it would be if he just. knew NOTHING. about minecraft#admin grian has no clue what a crowbar is but god help him if he doesn't immediately believe this is from a new update#crimson-writing#last life#tim stoker#the magnus archives#i'm not sure if these are in character but ! we vibe anyway !#sJGBFDJKS#bonus line:#“You know‚” Grian tells him‚ leaning against a tree‚#“I remember alpha like it was yesterday. I think it's a state of mind‚ really‚ if you think about it.”#Tim doesn't have a response‚ for once.#He really‚ really doesn't want to talk about this guy's A/B/O preferences#especially if he's never seen a crowbar before.#“I dunno if I would say that‚” Tim says.#asks
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me at 15 reading about ocd on the internet: oh that sounds like a nightmare I don't think I could live like that, so glad I definitely don't have it
me getting diagnosed 7 years later:
#in my defence it feels nothing like the stereotypes portrayed on tv#like I had a school friend who was obsessed with the show monk#I've never actually seen it so idk if it does a good job portraying it or not but I know monk is the very stereotypical ocd character#and that friend would go on and on about the show and how relatable it felt to her#not sure if she also had undiagnosed ocd but she only used a certain type of pen#and would refuse to use any other to write#she even got me into it I bought them and we would share#they were nice pens#and she also had this little ritual where if you touched her neck you had to close your fingers#in a way that mimics that stereotype for Italian hand gestures#and then you had to huff on them#she literally would not let you do anything else after you touched her neck unless you finished that little ritual#and I never thought I had anything like that so that meant I didn't have ocd right?#but yeah now that I'm saying it it seems stupid#like just because I'm not a “neat person” and don't obsess over cleaning doesn't mean anything#I say I don't obsess over cleaning and then I proceed to disinfect everything I bring from outside into the house with rubbing alcohol#but that only happened after the pandemic so I'm often thinking if it really counts#do I really have ocd or am I just traumatised from the pandemic?#like if I know the when and how I started a specific behaviour then is it really part of a mental disorder?#I know the logic behind it so it's not really a problem#right?#can I tag this as ocd? am I allowed?#fuck it!#ocd#I'm sure people who know more about this than me can explain if it counts or not#maybe it doesn't#maybe it's just germophobia?#but then what would all the other stuff be?#checking to see if your relatives are still breathing in their sleep in the middle of the night isn't germophobia#but I know the cause of this too it's from losing my uncle does that mean it also doesn't count? is it considered traumatic? idk
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i remember some tfp fans were really mad when people drew tfp starscream super feminine and stuff and it's like, find something else to get mad about. in a fandom where a lot of the male characters are literally feminized by fandom or just flat out seen as women then why was it just a problem to y'all when it was HIM who went thru it.
#yall don't get mad when people unironically call tfp megatron (or any megatron) wife or whatever or make him femme#and in tfp he's already big hipped and thighed so y'all don't actually have to try that hard#i just think there's a lot of people who tend to project onto startscream so hard#and they have some weird ick. with femininity#and whenever they see him being portrayed as femme it makes them uncomfortable#because it goes against how they feel about themselves#i have never seen any other characters get flack for being portrayed as overly feminine by the fandom- and I'm saying all characters#but with starscream#ever month or so i do see people getting upset#and trying to tie it back to something werid#when literally every other character gets the femme beam#any like if u personally have an issue with femininity#fine#but damn don't project that on anyone else#anyway#as a femme genderfluid person#and coming from a community where my feminity was denied#i really loved seeing feminine portrayals of rstarscream#and then#when i saw people really trying to make it this big thing#and portray it as negative#it really hurt me#and it's like on one hand people can say stuff like heterenormativity#but then this wouldn't even be related to shipping or whatever#and other characters again were given the femme beam#it's just#people had an issue with starscream getting it#and didn't think for a second that maybe a lot of transfems and other femme queer folks may see ourselves in him#idk idk didk#it was just crazy to me
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There are words for I Saw the TV Glow but I don't have them. They are positive.
#ive never seen that feeling on tv before. not portrayed so accurate. and like. idk i just really liked it. i think tumblr in general likes#it too so thats cool#the general vibe of the theater when i saw it was not great.#i went into jt with high expectations and they were. exceeded#but if you dont like it thats literally not my fault.
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