#but never really seen portrayed
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going insane going insane
#this really got me#i think because ‘we’re on the same kind of medication/we’re the same kind of messed up’ is a bonding moment i’ve experienced#but never really seen portrayed#but especially in this case where it’s like#god#i can’t even explain it properly but something about#paul being this old grumpy lonely alcoholic and angus being this young lonely misunderstood troublemaker#and theres like recognise like#but also#ugh i don’t know im on my lunch break i have work brain#just know this made me insane#the holdovers
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Candace’s dairy allergy is brought up a few times in the show but we also see her eating a grilled cheese and moon ice cream so I’m guessing it’s mild or she grew out of it?
But a Candace with a severe dairy allergy would be so fascinating, and so telling as to why she is the way she is. Severe allergies are physically, mentally, and socially draining. Candace already feels lesser than. I can imagine her struggling to fit in at restaurants and getting so anxious over what she can and can’t eat, watching her family and peers eating things she can’t have, trying so hard to just accept and be positive but being jaded and jealous regardless.
like. it fits her character so well. where is my Candace is allergic to dairy which makes her feel isolated and exacerbates her pre-existing anxiety and low self image storyline.
#I have celiac disease so#(that means I can’t have gluten or mt body will get very sick)#(gluten aka wheat. they’re practically the same thing)#I’d give a kidney to see the struggle of a severe allergy/food restriction portrayed onscreen#allergies are usually just used for jokes or as plot lines in a handful of episodes#I’ve never seen them portrayed as what they are: a constant daily struggle#that’s my reality#it would fit really well with Candace and explain a lot about her character in just sayin!#phineas and ferb#pnf#Candace#candace flynn
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okay its no secret i dont buy into marazhai being the persona he puts on. so as i've officially met him in game now, im making a list of all the in-game reasons i think he's a bit of an idiot [which i love btw. i find him far more compelling if he's a bit stupid/weird and he's trying so hard not to be but you just know nobody in commorragh is inviting him to parties]
the very first time you get a glance of him on a rooftop and. 'deal with this' "of course" proceeds to just walk off like 3 seconds after the other two
ambushes you. has you cornered. is in optimal position to kick your ass frankly, high ground and better weapons and utilising shock against you. ...he bitches at you for a while, gets insulted, then runs off into the forest with a maniacal cackle
heinrix fired a mild insult [considering what he's like to everyone else its barely an insult] and he took big enough issue with it to start saying how he'll break him and turn him into a pet. oh sure dude you're responding super well to this mild comment from the guy who accidentally insults everyone and their entire ancestral line at some point
i think it says something that he's learned to speak your language fluently too. that Has to be some kind of Yikes moment to admit publicly in drukhari culture. buried family secret great great grandfather drukhari-georg learned to speak mon keigh and now we claim he just spoke oddly because was shot in the head as a child to prevent the shame
he also knows the mon keigh lore that says youre a super special little guy as rogue trader and actually LISTENS to the fact you're the special little guy as rogue trader. and he does treat you as more equal/with more respect than the other characters. thats not just a drukhari culture yikes thats what gets you checked for a concussion or brain damage
literally socially atrocious enough its believed he's working with you [read: with you. not using you, not manipulating, cooperating. this is a big difference i feel] and only he himself doesnt believe it
ignore the fact he eventually DOES work with you which. is its own follow up statement
challenges you to fight him, to give chase then and there. i made him wait while i went through english government simulator where i queued for multiple days, did multiple day/week voidship trips back and forth, got distracted by accidentally starting jae's romance, pasqal telling me to servitorise her, getting blackout drunk with her, shipwide broadcast tm, giving her a voidship, her getting me a space cat, attacked by pirates, dealt with a plague, explored a few extra systems.......................
he destroys your palace. ...its rebuilt effectively within a week. most of the damage is in bodies which are just sent to the poor district to rot [almost feels worse than the damage done good job imperium]
the throne has claw marks. he could've blown it up or shot it or piled corpses on it but no he wanted to sit on the fancy chair and so turned into a common housecat mauling the sofa arm
how long was he just sitting there lounging on that chair? again see how long i kept him waiting. he was just sitting there trying to find a comfy position on this [for him] kinda small chair JUST so he could briefly taunt, break your window with his space motorbike, jump off the chair in a dramatic [but not gunna lie not that impressive] feat of gymnastics, then fly out. he doesnt even shoot at you as he leaves
i will continue my list as i see more that entertain me
#warhammer rogue trader#rogue trader marazhai#marazhai rogue trader#marazhai aezyrraesh#dont listen to how he tries to portray himself hes LAME and i thoroughly enjoy that about him#like. marazhai is a social outcast on so many levels and he is trying SO hard to compensate. it makes him incredibly interesting#ive seen some stuff of him later on but not all that much so im really curious how it'll go/how well i've grasped him#my current thoughts on him? he's just. fundamentally someone who desperately wants to be understood#but in all his long life he's never found it. and commorragh isnt a place for weakness like that. so he acts over it#he pretends to be some great evil mastermind with a lot of flair which is Intentional. because he doesnt know how to act like other drukhar#so concealing that is the best he's got. he doesnt realise the yawning gaps that show it for what it is and bring distain on him anyway#drukhari hate him because he's not like them. he's odd and dramatic and takes things to heart when he shouldnt but dismisses things he shou#he's tolerated for his blood connections and how it killing him could be an invitation for feud. he's also easy to get out of the way#send him to go chat to some mon keigh he'll be so fixated on setting the stage for the meeting he'll miss the important stuff#humans hate him bc he's drukhari. they believe the way he portrays himself because it fits propaganda#hell he may've even learned how to act drukhari from human stories. it'd fit tbh. ....i want to think more on this now#either way he loses. and tbh thats why i do like the idea of him with pasqal. theyre both freaks and social outcasts despite their ranks#robot rambles
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favourite stupid relationship dynamic: idiots who would immediately protect and defend the other but never themself
#still thinking about how lxl just takes whatever life throws at them without fighting back (esp in the lxl movie)#so it was up to the other (mainly yujiro) to do the protecting (of aizo) since he was clearly not going to do anything about it#poor yujiro never fought back against the longleg/shortleg until aizo was brought up… no sense of self-preservation with that one#‘you can mess with me but not my bf!!!!!’ kind of energy#ig aizo did kind of defend yujiro in the [redacted] anime ep 4 nonsense and pointless scandal scene but that’s about it…#give aizo more chances to play the hero for his cute bf!!!!! the princess carry wasn’t enough!!!!#though. ngl it’s kinda funny how aizo’s always portrayed as the husband and yujiro the wife in their r/s (see: meoto)#but yujiro is always the one fighting for aizo’s honour. l&k novel (i think; still havent read it). lxl movie. chizu hallway scene (kind of)#and even in honeypre he got aizo the werewolf costume (instead of the pumpkin). he was the one who gave aizo a gift on white day (like a bf)#he even turned aizo into a worried wife when he (the bumbling husband) wandered out till late in kyoto to look for a *phone strap*#hm. well. im not sure what the point im trying to make is other than the fact that lxl are idiots for each other ig#they may be really really stupid but they love(?) and support each other (in a sense)… two menaces in a pod.#they should just get married (again)#though speaking of lxl marriage remember when that music magazine spread misinfo about how meoto was set in the sengoku era#and everyone believed it? the mv sure shocked everyone in more ways than one lmaooooooo#lxl twt was on fire that day. ‘horns??? a fantasy setting????? what happened to the sengoku era?????’ it was so funny you h a d to be there#but. hm. we’ve had quite a lxl content drought… disregarding the [redacted] mv they havent been seen in 4 months#throwing out a guess that they’ll get a new song for a winter comiket cd or sth. idk#sure hope that lxl do not get a new song or mv before kimikawaii release though bc that’d be unfairrrrrrrrr
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It just occurred to me that we've not had an in depth portrayal of Henry VIII and Jane Seymour since the Tudors. Or just, Jane Seymour in general. So I am really curious to see how Mirror and the Light/Wolf Hall is going to handle them.
We get to know about her family, we'll learn about Elizabeth Seymour as well, and how important she is.
#and maybe we have I just haven't seen#most of the portrayals of jane are very much her being viewed as the 'other woman'#which isn't at all fair#she is never truly given her own type of spotlight#at least until like i said#the tudors#and there is either over pacification of her or over villainization of her#and by pacification - i mean people just portray her as a mindless doe like character#who has no type of motives or goals of her own#when it was her who worked tirelessly to introduce mary back to court#and it was her who was sympathetic to the catholics and the pilgrimage of grace#anywayzzzz#can't wait to see how wolf hall handles her#and if this is going to be a type of portrayal that is everlasting - like the tudors#jane seymour#wolf hall#henry viii#mirror and the light#i do know that most of the focus in the new series is going to be Thomas Cromwell - whom I am obsessed with to the point of#I think it's best not to talk abt him or y'all would look at me weirdly#but what I'm saying is i'm not going to expect *too* much#because the tudors was really focusing on the queens and not the courtiers#and mirror and the light's main focus is certainly the courtiers
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My Good Omens fanfictions are kicking off. Or, should I say, Lady Crowley is. In one of the stories, she was supposed to end up with Hastur. No, she decided she wants to be with Michael.
I guess, I'll need to come up with a seperate F!Crowley x Hastur storyline, because I'm not letting go of that ship.
F!Crowley x Michael... I like the sound of that. I really do.

Has happened to all of us, hasn't it? Your superior in the military waltzes in, and seduces the love of your life. Not to mention, that's his pregnant girlfriend, and when he finds out, it's too late.
Whatever, Calla Crowley can still end up an astronomy-obsessed, equestrian pastel goth, if General of the Heavenly Host is her stepmother.
I must say... In one story she's with Satan, in the other she'll be with Michael... Lady Crowley, honey, you keep pulling the Olympians. Good for you.
P.S. - I don't know how accurately to Good Omens I'll portray Michael, since I haven't seen season 2, and it doesn't matter. I have a very particular way I like to see the figure. Honestly, if she isn't the General, and the leader of angels in Good Omens, it's a crime. Because, if she is, why haven't I seen her in armour/uniform in any of the screencaps?.. Either way, her version I intend to paint is amazing.
#diary pages#writing journal#fanfiction writer#good omens#good omens fanfiction#good omens fandom#crowley#lady crowley#fem!crowley#archangel michael#crowley x michael#f!crowley x michael#aziraphale#he gets jilted an i find it hilarious - my mom got on my case for being mean but I don't like that#crowley x hastur#calla crowley#because she gets mentioned here#seriously i don't plan on watching s2 and the screencaps of michael i've seen don't seem like what i want to see for the figure#i... might be attached to his particular angel and have a very particular way I like to see her (or him) portrayed#it's one of these times I don't pay much attention to canon and just do what i want#i pull the portrayal of heaven and hell far more to my preferences also#like i always say i have a love-hate relationship with this universe#i don't even know what drew these two to each other something just did#i have plenty of scenes in mind many of them really really hot#i guess lady crowley wants some f/f action#michael is the angel lover i could never see aziraphale being#i even envision a scene where crowley gets burned by holy water and michael figures out the body swap but is more worried about crowley#for some reason crowley being pregnant when they fall in love is so endearing to me - michael just feels for her unconditionally#seriously she's so fierce and protective in her love#snake crowley just being wrapped around her suggests some hilarious scenes... or hot if it's in the bedroom
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Finally saw sonic 3 after not having time. Lives have been changed. I unironically out loud sobbed during it in the theater. Some 7 y/o looked at me weird i don't CARE. I genuinely have never been that genuinely joyous throughout a film's runtime. Like. when they started playing live and learn i like screamed a bit and me and my friend just laughed and shook each other in pure autistic joy and oh my god I left a new man
#i fear I have seen the coolest thing I will ever see in my entire life and nothing will ever top it.#I LOVED it#like i am generally rather indifferent about movies in general#they're just not really my thing#like i've seen movies i like of course#(one recently was Wicked. Loved it)#but like never in my life have i been filled with that much pure unbridled JOY while watching something#like even the sad bits#i was just so full of joy and happiness because holy SHIT the thing ive liked since i was a little guy is being portrayed so... amazingly!!#idk i just love sonic alot and i might be biased i guess because one of my favorite character literally of all time was in it#but still#i totally understand why it converted so many new people into sonic fans#and is the highest rated video game movie#like yeah#it deserves that#holy fuckkkk#UGH#i love sonic#i will stop yapping now#sonic movie 3#sonic movies 3 spoilers#sonic 3 spoilers
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Honestly this fandom really struggles with portraying Sasuke in a romantic relationship in a way that is true to his canon characterisation.
#this goes for fanfic fanart text posts etc#and like it’s okay if it’s acknowledged#but I’ve just seen so much sns and ss fanart#where it’s like#sasuke would not fucking say or do that#it’s one of the reasons I’m not the biggest fan of Sasuke shipping#and you can see this with other ships and characters too#but it’s not as widespread#I think the reasons for this#is that sasuke (in canon) didn’t really have a healthy and loving relationship with anyone other than his mother#and because of his emotional state he treated almost everyone who cared for him badly#and the fandom because of that don’t really know how to portray him in a ‘normal’ romantic relationship#because we have never seen him in one#or have scenes were he is like intimate or loving#or just friendly#naruto#sasuke#sasuke uchiha#sasusaku#sasunaru#sasuhina#sasukarin#etc#mine
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#aotv spoilers#ok you’re asking for my opinions let’s do it#i love louis!!!! im so proud of him and im so happy i got to watch him on his journey for so long and can’t wait for what’s to come for him#and i think my love for him and for his music and for my time in the fandím and for one d etc is what makes this a good watch and why i#liked it because otherwise i have my reservations to the movie and im not going to get into the babygate stuff#apart from the fact that louis trying to get freddie to hug him was extremely awkward and ive never seen less organic thing than the beach#scene and i find it funny they tried to push that as organic so hard#my issue is that it just had a potential to be a much better film is all sksmsk#it is good but it feels a bit rushed and kind of cheap in some ways and i get that’s the style of these biopics sometimes but#like it was such a shame the bg music was not really gold and was always exaggeratedly emotional because it made it cheesy and cheap and#kind of forced#i think it would have a great potential to get many people to say wow this is a strong talented guy and i think it is a great intro but i#think they undersold the movie so it’s not going to have a chance to reach an audience much wider than his current fanbase which is a shame#for his current fanbase it is a solidification and reiteration of his promo season and it is very clear where they want louis to stand and#what they want his image to be like and i think it’s absolutely amazing how they managed to show his growth as an artist and as a human and#and place him in a position where he’s now confident and secure and ready to embark on a new journey etc. although for the fans there’s#nothing new there and i think it’s worth considering how exactly they’re portraying and that they completely left out his relationships#aside from his family and the band#i think it’s important that it was noted he was undersestimated and pushed down and i think they made obvious how much he’s worked on#himself#i think it’s kinda clear they’re using it as a faith in the future promo with the new songs even though the doc ends with the end of the#tour#i think it’s interesting how many rainbow flags they chose to include without addressing the way his shows and fanbase look at all because#if i were from Gp id wonder what’s up with that esp when he only acknowledged the kmm project again#generally i think it’s a good watch that’s very transparent in what it’s trying to do for louis promo and image wise and it doesn’t tell#you anything new but it reminds you why you love this man so much while also leaving you a bit disappointed because this had a much#greater cinematic potential and a lot of it feels either rushed or underfinanced or forced and that’s a shame
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I fucking HATE how the fandom treats m.ine. it's so bad ����
#ash rambles 💚#so many shitty takes... too much time on twitter ruins a man#i hear one more person call him a crazy obsessive yandere and i think I'm actually gonna lose it#he's either portrayed like that or as one half of a ship#his actual character is lost on so many people because oOoOOoOOooOoO mInE wAs GaY#i dont doubt that he likes men. it's just that I've seen so many people be weird about it-#also. it's not fucking sexy to wanna kill your partner. a bullet between the eyes isn't an act of love.#I saw a tweet today about how m.ine actually wanted to kill k.iryu because he thought d.aigo liked k.iryu romantically#and m.ine only wants d.aigo to himself. and THAT'S why m.ine wanted to kill k.iryu.#let that sink in. 😐.#i hate how the fandom treats him SO MUCH#i will sit in my corner here. and i will kiss m#m.ine. and we will kiss a lot. and things are good. we are happy. we are far away from all of that.#I'm not saying every fan of his is horrible. I've seen a lot of great stuff and content! but holy shit I've seen some horrible stuff too#and it's hard to not feel like I'm doing something wrong by shipping with him. by loving a guy who the world has always hated.#and ofc I'm not! but still! even whenever i rb content of him here I'm always so afraid ajdhajsj#like ah yes this is the day i finally get cancelled on tumblr dot com for (checks notes) ... shipping with y.oshitaka m.ine??#I'm honestly afraid to take him up to being an official f/o ajdhajsb i think he'll stay in crush jail a little while longer..#i hate how the fandom perceives him so much!!!!!!! i also just hate the y.akuza fandom in general lmao#i do also like k.iryu so.. I've seen shit 😐#I'll delete this later but oh boy i am in a mood#and i know this isnt the first time I've blogged about this#and for that i do apologize. but i really do love this guy and despite wanting to look for content of him i always end up finding the most#infuriating shit!#i know he's done fucked up things. he's not a great guy. but! our relationship is built on mutual trust and i will NEVER write any of that#creepy obsessive shit that the stupid fandom always portrays him as doing! he's not going to kill someone for getting too close to me-#I'm just... upset- get behind me honey! I'll shield you!#and by kissing him I'm not brushing over any of the shit he does in the game. yes he beheaded that guy. yeah he slapped that orphan.#but i adore him and omg i hit tag limit... oopsie daisy lol sorry guys 😭 I'm really sorry for always talking abt this#you were beautiful 💸
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I will say that I never fully watched any helluva boss or hasbin hotel (other than the pilots) but I have one question
If this show is supposed to be inclusive and empowering to queer people
why are all the gay people and furries in hell
#I keep thinking about it#I don't want to watch either show#Despite not being religious anymore I don't like tv shows that clearly do no research and try to portray that stuff#I know it's a parody but it feels a little disrespectful#I preferred good omens bc I could tell there was more research there#Good Omens was more like “yes but not exactly”#from what I've seen helluva boss and hasbin hotel is more like “No you're dead wrong” and I don't really like that#Plus all that stuff about Vivziepop doesn't make me want to support that :/#this is just my opinion really#y'all can ignore it bc I'm never talking about it again#chaos crud
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me at 15 reading about ocd on the internet: oh that sounds like a nightmare I don't think I could live like that, so glad I definitely don't have it
me getting diagnosed 7 years later:

#in my defence it feels nothing like the stereotypes portrayed on tv#like I had a school friend who was obsessed with the show monk#I've never actually seen it so idk if it does a good job portraying it or not but I know monk is the very stereotypical ocd character#and that friend would go on and on about the show and how relatable it felt to her#not sure if she also had undiagnosed ocd but she only used a certain type of pen#and would refuse to use any other to write#she even got me into it I bought them and we would share#they were nice pens#and she also had this little ritual where if you touched her neck you had to close your fingers#in a way that mimics that stereotype for Italian hand gestures#and then you had to huff on them#she literally would not let you do anything else after you touched her neck unless you finished that little ritual#and I never thought I had anything like that so that meant I didn't have ocd right?#but yeah now that I'm saying it it seems stupid#like just because I'm not a “neat person” and don't obsess over cleaning doesn't mean anything#I say I don't obsess over cleaning and then I proceed to disinfect everything I bring from outside into the house with rubbing alcohol#but that only happened after the pandemic so I'm often thinking if it really counts#do I really have ocd or am I just traumatised from the pandemic?#like if I know the when and how I started a specific behaviour then is it really part of a mental disorder?#I know the logic behind it so it's not really a problem#right?#can I tag this as ocd? am I allowed?#fuck it!#ocd#I'm sure people who know more about this than me can explain if it counts or not#maybe it doesn't#maybe it's just germophobia?#but then what would all the other stuff be?#checking to see if your relatives are still breathing in their sleep in the middle of the night isn't germophobia#but I know the cause of this too it's from losing my uncle does that mean it also doesn't count? is it considered traumatic? idk
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There are words for I Saw the TV Glow but I don't have them. They are positive.
#ive never seen that feeling on tv before. not portrayed so accurate. and like. idk i just really liked it. i think tumblr in general likes#it too so thats cool#the general vibe of the theater when i saw it was not great.#i went into jt with high expectations and they were. exceeded#but if you dont like it thats literally not my fault.
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Me when I analyze my favorite media, and something new clicks, and I love it even more than I already did:




#YEAH this is about American psycho#I was really just thinking about how like#Bateman is genuinely trapped and nothing can help him#If he got help earlier maybe he could have led a nice life#but now he has blood on his hands forever#No amount of therapy could make you able to just continue life normally after being a serial killer#Like. even if he had a shoulder to cry on. He either would either have to hide the murders for the rest of his life. or just go to jail. No#I've never seen anything else portray true hopelessness and I'm just like God damn this fucks so hard#I love American Psycho#og#text
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sjkdksdhdfj AAAA i love how you draw matt fr!!!! <3<3<3<3 also protective best friend? we stan :DDD
HHH TY!! Matt is actually a little bit of a comfort character, ik in the show he’s a narcissist for goofs but that kind of self-love and confidence is something I sorely need sometimes lmao.
AND YE PROTECTIVE BEST FRIEND. I love my romantic ships, but other forms of love also get me going. I will emphasize a LOT that these two genuinely love each other, and although its not romantic, its just as strong.
#asks#bladezmad#it helps that matttom is also a ship I like lmao#but I wanna see them as a platonic kind of love for this AU#And I’ve never really seen much friendships portrayed in a very deep way#or QPRs tbh#SO HERE THEY’RE A QPR BC I SAID SO#THEY FUCKING LOVE EACH OTHER YOUR HONOR#ew Stay AU
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I think the Simpsons was already influenced by nuclear power shock and pulp fiction and non fiction that already existed for a few decades. They're not really to blame uniquely for any lasting anti nuclear ideas in the popular consciousness, I don't think. Are you even aware of this triple album ? No Nukes: The Muse Concerts for a Non-Nuclear Future (1979) ? "We almost lost Detroit" might be the most famous song to appear on it, but I wonder how many people actually know that song, or Gil Scott Heron. Springsteen and Chaka Khan are on there, though, Crosby Stills & Nash, Tom Petty.
#fuck the text editor on this app istg#also mr burns wasnt a complete antagonist. his association with the power plant never came off to me as really trying to associate power#plants with people like him. i mean does it not power the city#he was seen as evil for other things he got into#idk sitcoms are weird i think they try to portray nuance and come off as disjointed and contradictory#idk i care way more about scott heron than the simpsons these days but im vaguing a post i saw#was there a nuclear waste plotline i dont even remember. they didnt invent the green sludge idea#maybe popularized it but im pretty sure they werent the first to popularize that either#anyway simpsons had very little actual serious moral takes. its not rly groeinigs style#you ever read his life is hell comics#pretty interesting to compare
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