#ill never get rid of them
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I'm the king of starting plotlines to get people interested in my blog & characters and then never finishing them
#chow.txt#feels like im looking in a window of a community. watching people have fun wonderful times and yearning for that too.#an outsider observing a community i havent been actively wanted in since *before* i dated beaux#too stubborn to delete this blog but sometimes i wonder if its time to move on yet#i love my characters i love the stories i have made#ill never get rid of them#but. yknow. 10 years. maybe its time to move on ?
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#do you ever notice?#when a new song has been added?#do you still grieve#the way i never knew i would?#my face goes red and i feel tingles in my palms#im overcome with embarrassment because i cant stop thinking about the love we shared#how i wish it never ended#how i knew it was you... always you#and somehow#communication wasnt on our side during the time we shared#we both were healing while bleeding on each other#ive wondered so many times what it would be like if we re met 10 years from now and not met again back then.....#what then...#i still have the rings.#ill never get rid of them#sometimes ...#i wear them#and hold you close#forever and always#personal#2025#we fell in love in october#still grieving
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I find the fact that the confrontation at the end of UTRH is often summarized as Jason asking Bruce to kill the Joker for him fascinating.
Because that's not what happened.
Jason holds a gun up to Joker's head, gives Bruce another, and tells him that if Bruce doesn't do something (shoot Jason), he will kill Joker.
Jason doesn't give the gun to Bruce so that he would shoot Joker. He isn't expecting Bruce to pull the trigger on the clown. He's asking Bruce to do nothing. To be inactive. Because that will still be a choice, and despite having done nothing, everybody clearly agrees that Bruce would still, at least in part, be responsible for Joker's death.
...And to me, this moment is a kind of- microcosm, of the rest of Jason's point. Because after being captured and carted off to Arkham, the villain will escape again, and will kill more people. The only way to truly prevent that from happening would be to kill them; Bruce refuses to do so, and I respect his right to choose such a thing for himself, but it is still a choice, and if we agree that Bruce's inaction during the confrontation would leave him at least partly responsible for the Joker's death, then we must also agree that his inaction in permanently preventing the Rogues from killing more people means he is also, partly, responsible for all of those deaths.
#my dc posting#batman#dc#bruce wayne#jason todd#joker#uhh is this like analysis or meta#anyway. to me this is the message that scene sends#if we say bruce doing nothing would mean he assisted in the murder of joker then bruce doing nothing about the villains means he is also#responsible for those deaths#ANYWAY yes b4 you come at me;;#bruce's belief in rehabilitation and that everyone can get better is central to his character#and i love it and no i dont actually think he should kill the rogues or whatever#but the question there is. Are you fine with the future victims your decisions will cause?#Are their lives worth the slim chance any of these people will get better?#batman says yes theyre worth it. red hood says no theyre not.#thats the fundamental moral difference there#its why jason challenges the batman status quo#which is why he cant be harnessed well after his initial return bc comics can never truly escape that status quo#anyway i sure am having some thoughts for someone not that smart so if you disagree please tell me!!! just be civil or ill just block you <#...anyway this is another thing BTAS succeeds in bc i always feel like yes these villains do deserve yet another chance#despite what theyve done. bruce's belief in them doesnt feel stupid and naive#its abt what you yourself can live with. bruce can live w the deaths of the ppl the criminals he doesnt get rid of kill#and jason can live with killing those criminals and preventing further victims
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/701419d1c74931a7ca2c26cd67edd78d/7ecc33cd880762f8-80/s540x810/674f97e4fa856aeb803c7917a07549b800102a5e.jpg)
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Here's Compost! She's my Trubbish bag that I made cuz I love Trubbish. They aren't in the pic but she also has little feet!
Also wanted to show off the pins on the strap. I've got a ton more, but these are the ones I like to go out with. Also, I made the Gear Station icon, bug type icon, and bolt badge pins!
#crochet#trubbish#my creatures#ive dubbed that my crochet tag and have gone back and edited the tags on my old posts#shes still needs a couple teaks like shortening the strap and actually putting the lining in#but that wont show up in pics so ill share her now#actually finished her back in like july but never thought to post her here#but i might as well since ive posted some of my other projects#also not tagging everything in my pins cuz wed be here all day#ive been collecting pins since gr8 or smth ive got so many#theyre like a collection of interests past i cant get rid of them#they live on my ace flag when not otherwise being worn
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yall don't know platonic yearning like I do 😤
#all i want is a friend i can build a life with#we'll sleep in separate beds but occasionally we'll both get up for a late night snack at the same time and giggle about it#we'll call each other husband or wife while also having our freedom to seek out sex or romance outside of our partnership#there will always be someone to come home to and i won't feel the stifling pressure to perform romance for them#i want my future kids to be raised in love and friendship#i want them to know that they don't have to be a certain way in order to be loved#i want someone to hold my hair when im sick and let me cry on their shoulder when things are hard and stick up for me when i need it#i may never have this and it hurts my heart#ive told myself that being a single parent would make me happy because ill be happy as long as im not in a romantic relationship#but i don't know if thats actually true#ive resigned myself to that as a possoble future for me because being a parent is improtant to me#but there's this loneliness inside of me that I don't know I'll ever be able to get rid of#i thought i had a chance at the life i want with my ex and thats why i held on so long as tried to ignore all of our incompatibilities#but at the end of the day#hes a hopeless romantic and will always want the intense romantic love i can never give him and i will always resent those expectations#i wish things were different#personal#vent#aro tag#aromantic#platonic yearning#queerplatonic relationship#feel free to ignore but if you see this and also feel this way I'd love to commiserate :')
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Do you think bucks loft is going to burn down in episode 5
I think the loft serves a meta purpose on Buck's journey to find home and they won't get rid of it until Buck is done figuring his place in the world out. I don't see that happening by 805. So no. I don't think they'll burn down the loft.
#idk if i can make a meta on that make sense so ill never write it. but the loft is a symbol bucks quest for love while being a marker#of failing to realize what he need in them. from the fact that ali picked and decorated to the way taylor and tommy kiss him to the way#natalia runs from him to the couch of it all. they use the loft to deal with Bucks emotions and its very interesting when you look at how#the loft is an open space and buck doesn't know how to hide his feelings. everything is connected and buck himself navigates through it#while letting the edges bleed together. i think in a lot of ways buck treats the loft the same way he treats his body. just another tool#in a sense. it's something he needs. he takes care of it. hes somewhat comfortable in it but its not home. until bucks home in his body#hes not going home literally by getting rid of the loft. at least thats my opinion on it.#im not gonna write a meta she says as she writes a meta#anyway#911#i really need a tag for asks#anon 😌#911 spoilers#911 speculation
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it’s so funny every time i start to think im doing better it gets worse
#my hands started bleeding when i wash them again :(#genuine question why is my brain wired like this#and it’s worse when i google if ill ever get rid of this but they say it’ll never really go away your symptoms will just be very manageable#but :(#mehak.exe
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I have to be so honest and vulnerable with you for a second. I keep thinking of getting another complete works of Shakespeare
#tales from diana#my riverside 1973 is still my beloved baby but she's really worse for the wear these days#i didn't start thinking about it till i got one for my friend like 6 months ago for his bday#and i kept looking at it and being like oh wow. his doesn't have all the scratches and rips mine does#mine is still BETTER obviously bc it's MINE. it's in worse condition objectively but it's MINE#making it the best copy in existence. to me#and it was my aunt's textbook at boston college. my grandmother let me have it. i think of it as a family heirloom#and the coating on the front cover side of the spine has been slowly tearing off :(#like there's one long vulnerable rip almost all the way down. idk how to prevent it from breaking further#other than just by not using it. and idk how to fix it wo making it potentially worse#i didn't know how to take care of old gigantic books when i got it at 19. i never considered it#i hadn't had one before. but now im more experienced#and im also just curious about what's inside other editions. especially newer ones#i only have 6 plays and at least 3 of them i plan to read in a copy other than the riverside#like my 23 plays and sonnets (1953) edited by t. m. parrot has 2 and another play im gonna borrow from library lending#and id definitely wanna get rid of a lottttt of books i have right now before getting a new one#im already planning on which books to donate when i declutter#and i need to declutter my books DESPERATELY. so so desperately#it'd just be nice to have another complete works in my collection. for a number of reasons.#that way i also suppose ill have two big books of shakespeare for auntie diana to pass down someday#i don't plan on getting one soon im just in the contemplative phase. but boy am i tempted
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finally putting together all my (relevant) god designs heres a wip before i color this/rewrite my notes to be legible
#circe and calypso arent on here bc i dont really consider them gods#I MEAN THEY ARE. SORT OF#are nymphs gods? theyre like god adjacent#whatever#anyways i have a solid calypso design actually but ive never made a ref for her#granted i dont usually make refs i just draw characters and whatever design elements i like stick and what i dont like eventually gets lost#these ones have a lot of headcanons in them so ill elaborate on a bit rn#i think the gods can generally choose how they appear which is why theres so much variation in their designs#their major symbols will always come through in a way (whether thats a requirement or personal choice is up to you) although it can be-#-in multiple ways#i.e. athena is very much Just a bird while aphrodites shells are just a small accessory#also i think theres some things they cant get rid of (like athenas scars)#but generally otherwise its free game. so some of the gods are more animalistic some are more human some are just whatever the fuck#anyways whenever i post the final image ill rewrite this rant but im sorta beta testing it rn eheh#hope you like the doodles! ill probably post this later today#forcing myself to figure out color palettes for the gods alas#doodles#wip#not character tagging this bc its just a wip. and reblogs are off ofc#i think i drew every god that appears in epic?#FUCK I FORGOT HEPHAESTUS SHIT#oh well
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zim walks weird asf
Title of the post, self explanatory.
He walks so odd. I walk like hin when I'm bored
Also his hand thing (where he has both like in a ">" position and the rest of his arms straight) stuck with me I haven't stopped doing it since i noticed it
I LOVE INVADER ZIM
anyways huge rant below not super intresting
#zim ramblings!#i wonder ifanyone else has used that tag ever#being a mentally ill teen and liking iz dont go together#/hj#like okay.#i#NEVER PUT THE LETTER I ONLY IN A HASHTAG#shedtumblr came up im tweaking#ANYWAYS#i have irls (the. delusional weird shit kind)#and idk how to get rid if them#bc even sometimes when i think "im nit him#THE NEXT DAY IT JUST COMES BACK#alot of my hyperfixations lead to this kinda stuff#but mainly iz#mjght be bc it comes back p often#wben it does it comes back HARD#IT PJNCBES ME IN THE FAVE#and also it has alot of stuff to base my stuff in#including fandom#THIS ONE kinda...zadr? fic?#I THINK ITS A SLOW BURN#but jts si giid#and to me i go “thats me”#keep in mind iþs been months since i read jt#DUDE MY HEADPHOME#keeps turning up and down my music#THE REASON I WOKE UP BTE#idk why#it keeps doing it tbo
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thinking abt how the only three times ive had ppl who are rly important to me visit for a little bit, my parents have tried to be friendly and nice and done that primarily by. making jokes At My Expense.
#like be so serious 😭😭😭#maybe itd be funny if the jokes were like. harmless.#but no theyre jokes that havent stopped after over a decade of asking them to knock it off#which have etched shame so deep into my very being that i will never in my life ever Truly be able to get rid of it#ill get better. but itll never go away#and my friends Know This#and already dont like my parents#and then my parents go and pull That Shit on top of it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#BE SO SERIOUS!!!!!!#alyalyoxenfree
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idk if this is dirty talk but inlove seeing you on my dash you bring high quality unhinged content so -->
💌 send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome \( ˆoˆ )/ 💌
(also hope the flies are dead and gone)
bestie in my inbox alert!!!! it’s been so long since we talked directly how are uuuu 🫶🫶🫶🫶
#also u bet its dirty talk 😏 nothing turns me on like being praised for my high quality unhinged content frfr#how’s the baby doing btw !!! for some reason ur blog is never in my dash :( so i havent gotten any updates are u both in good health rn??#and yeah GOD BLESS those fuckers are gone. i killed like 16 of them w my bare hands in one day#it stung so bad i wanted to cry lmao#but we got rid of the fruit in there and ig they died since i never saw any more#i haven’t been in the apartment for 2 weeks tho and we don’t have any fruit in there so ill kms if i get back and there are More#thanks for the ask btw!!! love 💖💖💖#ask#beachesgetpeaches
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me @ buddy daddies ep8: fellas, is it queer to have symbolism
#buddy daddies#urgh#so many gotdam thoughts#none of them coherent#never getting rid of the mentally ill allegations esp since I'm delaying taking meds to write this#djfnjkdfdf#shhhhh
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do you guys think i should make a faire (etsy for wholesale)……. wholesaling was on my goal list for the year but in a “email local businesses” way not a “put my stuff on a marketplace” way, especially since faire takes a 15% commission & has other fees…. i don’t have the kind of inventory to list a ton of stuff on there but i could start with a few things and see how it goes…. i can stop doing it if i decide it’s not worth it… it would be easier than sending a lot of emails or making a wholesale packet….
#if it goes well i can just start ordering more stock from the jump when i get new things#i don’t think i’m going to put any prints on there bc my runs are too small & i struggle doing reprints as is#sorry to people waiting on reprints i will get around to it i promise. but if i list my prints on faire then i feel like ill never have them#for my store. lol#it also might help me get rid of some stuff that doesn’t do so well for me like those stupid pencils..#i’ve been thinking about it the past couple days bc i just had a conversation w my boss about ordering stickers & she was shocked how little#i order. which makes sense for my business rn but she was telling me i should wholesale#so it’s been on my mind. idk maybe i’ll make an account and list a few things today & see if anybody bites#chatpost#i already know how the website works for the most part bc we use it at work#also should i order a new koozie do you think. it’s my usual summer merch although it’s late for that#people don’t buy them much anyway which is a shame bc i like them
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insane that once a month i lose my mind alongside my uterus' lining
#like i think i'm mentally ill#and then flo arrives and i'm like Oh#No#I've been totally sick not mentally ill#THIS is mentally ill#i spent a good portion of today in bed drafting my will and testament#need to talk to rika to clarify some things#perks of being friends with a deceased estates lawyer#so many fucked things to think about though#if i die my parents are my next of kin#at 25#“daughter” would be on my tombstone#my savings will go to them if I don't quietly arrange something else#more money for drungs and alcohol and junk to hoard out this house#just like my babcia#fucking hell this one is a doozy#the pain is genuinely bordering on unbearable#i kept forgetting I'd taken pain pills already today#had to write them down so i didn't forget#but i took the most I'm allowed of both and it didn't take the edge kff at all#as if any of those parts of me serve a purpose#no one's having any fun with them#and i sure as shit am never having kids#breaking cycles of abuse by never having kids#just fuxking get rid of it all#all it does is cripple me every 28 days
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I love to talk but I rly do feel like we have to be talking for a minimum of 8 hours straight before I feel like I can even begin to rly broach things on my mind or that have been bothering me a lot that I actually want to talk abt without being vague or deflecting or omitting or lying and if the conversation takes a break at any point it resets back to 0 and its still nice regardless but.
#we're all just desperately chasing each other around for a semblance of connection in this cold bleak world#but unfortunately due to the relentless crushing pressures of capitalism we also have to work so no time for that#man. sorry just frustrated n miserable now. wish i was capable of feeling close to other ppl wish i could give other ppl that connection#but instead we're just ships in the night passing by or whatever#and i have to settle with not rly being known or wanted or important in other ppls lives and its forever. btw#bc even if ppl do think they know me or do want me around or i am important to them in some way.. the specific torture labyrinth i call#home is constructed in the most elegant and precise way that im incapable of believing them to be sincere anyway#so thats all on me! if I tried harder and made more of an effort to communicate with or trust ppl i wouldnt feel this way!#but i dont so better luck in the next life i guess! this is why i dont think abt this shit bc it makes me want to kms#whats even the point man#dont even worry abt me im fine just need to fucking vent bc i dont have time to allow myself to feel anything bc i have plans tmr#so i need to go to bed early. and ill just try my best to keep distracted forever so ill never need to face how pathetically desperate#i am for any kind of emotional intimacy whatsoever and also physical contact but im not normal enough to fulfil any of my own needs#yeah well. its my life that i have to live and im the one making it this way. digging my grave and lying in it innit#its fine tho bc they make repressed fictional characters that i can project onto instead of confronting any of my issues#so ill just be here in my labyrinth doing that. while everyone else gets to see sunlight and grass and whatever#im just so tired i dont want to do this i want to pretend i dont care and dont need it and maybe itll become true. its too much for me#let me know when they need me to pilot the jaeger and drift with someone and thru our mindmelding i can finally achieve intimacy and trust#well anyway. that was embarrassing. hope it works out for everyone else#hope my flatmate gets her ideal life w our other old flatmates and finds a convenient way of discarding me from that like they want#except im going to make it as difficult as possible for as long as i can for them to get rid of me bc im selfish and want what i want so.#my obligate parasite ass. or whatever. im going to throw up if i keep thinking so thats a good place to stop and go to sleep probably#.vent#dont interact im being stupid as fuck and dont care just leave me alone thanks
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