#ill also give you my left kidney

[macchitea]

AAOOUGHGOHOGHUGOHGU OH MY GODDD

this is phenomenal aaaaaa im so in love with chief dedede im gonna exPLODE, this is genuinely should a cool interpretation i love love this so much; the way you incorporate masked dedede into rw thru elite/king scavs IS CHEFS KISS

ALSO THE LANTERN MICE WADDLE DEES AAAAAAA <33333

BANADA MOUSE MY BELOVED

Absolutely in love with the rain world/kirby slugcats made by @macchitea and I was inspired to make a rain world version of the big penguin himself!

I thought about just making a slugcat version of Dedede but I thought it made more sense if he was a Scavenger chieftain. His waddle dees are all lantern mice :3

[wuwapetal1s]

write anything abt geshu lin or calcharo im begging on my hands and knees ill give u my first born or a kidney whichever u want

I don't need any organs can I have a pair of knees maybe (ty for the request anon :3)

Love languages

content: sfw, rambling-ish format, not entirely proofread (it's midnight currently), swearing used, etc.

reqs open!

— Calcharo.

Calcharo is an ‘acts of service man’ through and through. To me, he doesn't seem the best at giving affection verbally though he thinks he's *very* good at it personally. As in, you will ask him for comfort or reassurance and he'll give it to you readily… But it will sound so stern coming from him.

“I feel uncomfortable with [such and such]..”

“I understand. I will rectify/fix that.”

Communication KING, though I imagine it can still feel very intimidating to bring stuff up to him. It will always be met with understanding, and he certainly would try his hardest to accommodate what language/tone you'd rather hear in those moments (autistic.)

Getting back to the original point, he will do just about anything for you. There's hardly any limits or rules to that fact. He will kill for you, he will fight for you, he will get in trouble with the law for you, etc etc. He'll also grab extra of your snacks the moment he's back in town and stops at the market before he goes to visit you.

Tired from a long day at work or studying? He'll clean up as quietly as he can while you sleep. You'll wake up to all the dishes done and your living space looks pretty much spotless.

He's the kind of man to learn how you organize things pretty easily, even if you're a very messy person. He's very clued in on anything that involves you (smitten, much?) and he's also just got a keen eye on him.

"Ugh, I can't find where I left my-”

“Bottom drawer of the nightstand.”

“Oh.. Thank you!”

He loves holding and kissing you as well, it's his favorite thing to be welcomed home to. Just the ability to sink into your arms is like heaven to him. Receiving, he probably likes physical touch a lot more, but he feels 100x more satisfied doing something for you to show he cares :).

— Genshu Lin.

Genshu Lin is a possessive man. It's subtle, but it's definitely there. Above all else, he adores you. He's a deeply devoted person when in a relationship, though I don't feel like he's had a lot of experience to pinpoint that exactly, but it's his nature. I believe he enjoys gifting you things he gets his hands on, trinkets or otherwise.

He mostly enjoys giving you things you can make use of or wear. He always gets a warmth in his chest when he sees you in the bracelet he got you (one that matches his that he keeps tucked away for safekeeping) or using pens he gave you after you kept losing your last ones. As long as it works, suits you, and it means a lot to you, he's snatching it up.

I also believe he's a sucker for stealing kisses in private. He may not seem it to anyone else, but he's a softie. Just for you though. Cooking something or simply sitting around? Funny how his lips just found their way to your cheek!

He's a bit more apprehensive about receiving it unless it's the time you two lay in bed together, then he'd let you rub his back or play with his hair. In return, he most enjoys quality time.

Even if it's something as mundane as running an errand or having to pick something up from the pharmacy he wants you there. He'd tell you “I don't need your presence, I just prefer it” if questioned, but he does need it. More than he knows or even lets on, he wants you and needs you there. He hates having to be away from you. It drives him up a wall almost. Like nearly insane.

After long hours working or even days/weeks of it he wants nothing more than to just lay with you and bathe in your presence as if it's a balm for his soul :’).

I love these men they're so fine

[chrissy-kaos]

**Health update**

So I never wanted to make another post like this but here I am.. I was hoping to just get better and never bring it up again.

To get those of you up to speed. I was diagnosed with CKD back in late 2021. I’ve been battling that for a while now. I’m actually doing really well in that regard. During a routine MRI in Nov 2023 for my kidneys we found what looked to be a hepatic steatosis and splenomegaly. It was later determined and I was diagnosed with hepatic tumors and splenomegaly. I also had a fairly large gallstone and what appeared to be a tumor/cyst on my gallbladder. We decided it was just better to remove my GB and the tumors all at the same time. So in January of this year I had laparoscopic cholecystectomy/tumor removal. That’s what the scars on my stomach are from. The tumors were tested and were benign. That was a huge relief. But it left my liver fairly damaged. I wasn’t to concerned about because your liver can and will heal itself. I recovered well and felt great.

Fast forward 9 months. I wasn’t feeling very well. So I made an appointment with my PCP and she wanted me to do a bloodwork panel. This is normal. We actually do blood once a month but really only check kidneys, thyroid, and hormones. So I did the panel and when the test results came in my Dr called me immediately. She ordered another AST/hepatic function panel for my liver, kidneys and pancreas.

After those test results came in she had me come to her office. I was met with her and a Hepatologist. They broke the news to me that unfortunately my liver not doing well according to the bloodwork. My pancreas/kidneys are actually pretty ok rn which is cool. But my total bilirubin is 1.4 mg/dl. At 1.5 mg/dl total bilirubin is where we really start looking at the possibility of Cirrhosis. If you don’t know what that is. Google it. Now I’m not saying I have this rn but it seems to be looking that way 🫤

They were telling me they could see my bilirubin trending up over the course of the past few months of bloodwork. Also previously being diagnosed with Splenomegaly which is a tell tale sign of Cirrhosis apparently. They’re pretty sure I have it or will have it. They want to run more tests and see how bad or good it is and we’ll go from there. It seems like they have a pretty good plan. Also for those of you that are going to say get a second opinion.. I got a second and a third. They said the same thing go figure..

So again I find myself going in and out of the hospital again. I don’t wish this life upon anyone. It’s not fun. Being chronically/terminally ill is no fucking joke. If it’s not one thing it’s another. It’s tiring and I’m soo tired. Honestly I can’t wait until it’s all over.. forever.

Anyway I figured I’d give you a bit of an update on my health and such. A lot of you ask in my DMs. It’s hard to answer everyone so a post like this gets it out there. But yea if you made it this far thank you and I love you 🫶🏻

[angelsdvsts]

a few tropes/plots that i'm craving ... give this a ♡ if you're interested in any of the plots below & i'll come to you for muse !

♡ coworkers ♡ roommates ♡ sunshine x grumpy ♡ unholy girl x innocent boy ♡ assistant x boss ♡ best friend's brother/sister ♡ enemies to lovers ♡ second chance romance ♡ fake relationships ♡ figure skater x hockey player ♡ athletic x cheerleader ♡ coach's daughter ♡ nerd x jock (like hailey & james from oth) ♡ childhood friends to strangers to lovers ♡ protector x innocent ♡ neighbors ♡ secret relationship ♡ band member x fan ♡ arrange marriage ♡ summer romance ♡ royalty x regular person ♡ celebrity x regular person ♡ bodyguard x celebrity / mayor's daughter / etc. ♡ influencers who fans ship them which leads to them fake dating ♡ fwb -- but one of them just recently got into a relationship ♡ your bf doesn't give you enough attention, let me ♡ also if anyone wanna create like a lil village of our muses -- friendships, exes, crushes, family -- etc. PLS ill give u my left kidney <3

[kellyscowboy]

Hiii!! You’re my favorite ikeshot person! You write their personalities and dynamic so well!!

could you write something based on the song the 30th by Billie Eilish? the story behind the song is someone gets into a really bad car wreck(or accident of some sort) and the aftermath of it

hii!! i meant to answer this sooo long ago but i got caught up w/ school & have also been in a sims 4 grind LMFAO. thank you so much for this request!! i apologize if this is a little off from what you may have expected or what i have written in the past. it's been a hot minute since i've written this dynamic so pls bare w/ me :'). again, thank you so much for this request! i appreciate you & your support <33333

i wasn't sure if you wanted this to be modern!au or in the canon au, but i made it canon. so it doesnt EXACTLY follow the lyrics. but essentially follows the point of the song!! ALSO!! @sparkedblaze this is also for you because you are the reason i write for ikeshot <3

CW: blood mentioned, car accident mentioned, uhhh probably cussing i lowkey don't remember tbh, UHH sad gays idk i forgot how to do this

Hotshot couldn't help but stare. It made him sick to do so, but he couldn't stop. It was like watching a gruesome fight that you couldn't tear your eyes away from. Except it was Ike. His Ike. All bruised, cut, and bloodied; scrawled out pathetically on a hospital bed. He was all but disfigured. All but unrecognizable.

But often times he had this look about him, and Hotshot couldn't help but think he looked the exact same as he did before the accident. He would just look off into the distance, similar to how he used to look at the stars before everything. Occasionally he would squirm under his boyfriend's intense stare. But outside of that, he said and did nothing. He wouldn't move an inch until a nurse came to make him eat, or until Hotshot would force him to use the bathroom.

"We don't need ya kidneys to fail, now. You'se already been through enough."

It made Hotshot nauseous to take care of the boy. They had never been in this position before. Usually, it was Hotshot laid up with a broken bone or some odd illness nobody else got. And Ike was always right at his side. It didn't feel right when the roles were reversed. Not to either of them.

Ike was knocked out for a long time. The doctors and nurses started to doubt he would ever wake up. They had begun to prep Hotshot for the worst, not that he ever listened to them. All he did was sit, stare, and pray to whatever god was listening that his boy would wake up.

When he did finally wake up, the hospital was in a frenzy. There was a hushed, excited buzz about the air. All the nurses would linger by the doorway of his room and gossip about his 'miraculous awakening.'

The second his eyes opened, he was bombarded with numerous questions from the doctors. They were long, confusing questions that contained words that Hotshot could hardly believe were real. Ike was quickly overwhelmed. Tears teetered on the brink of his eyes and his breathing became rapid.

"Would ya stop pesterin' him for a second? He just woke up! What's wrong with the lotta ya? Huh? Ain't you supposed to be professionals? Let the boy breathe!" Hotshot yelled as he jumped to his feet. "He ain't just some medical miracle, alright? He's a person just like you 'n me. Give 'im a second."

One by one, the doctors and nurses began to shuffle out of the room. Each one glancing over their shoulders as they left. Hotshot could hear their gossiping whispers outside the door as he sat down closer to Ike.

"What's happenin'?" Ike asked. His voice was small, hoarse, and confused.

Hotshot furrowed his eyebrows and grabbed his lover's hand. "What'dya mean? Dont'cha remember? You was hit by one of them fancy new electric carriages."

Ike's initial confusion turned into a quick look of horror as he caught a glimpse of his bruised arms. "But... I'm alive right? I'm here? This is real?" The boy had started to freak out. He analyzed his arms, turning them every which way. He leaned forward, wincing as he did, and yanked the cover off his legs. It wasn't a pretty sight, and Hotshot had to stop himself from dry heaving just from seeing his boyfriend in such a state.

Gently, Hotshot pulled the blankets back over the boys legs. "You'se alright, Ike. For a couple of days there, I was worried. You'se was knocked out cold. But ya alive now. That's all that matters. You're alive." He wanted to do something. Squeez the boys hand, give him a pat on the leg... something. But he couldn't in fear of hurting the boy further. So, he just nodded and flashed him a forced, tight smile. "I think ya oughta lay down. You get yourself too worked up sometimes. It'll get worse if ya don't relax a little."

The other boy couldn't help but let out a laugh. He grabbed his chest in pain after he did. "Sounds like somethin' I'd usually tell you."

"Right." Hotshot rolled his eyes fondly. "Well, I reckon them so-called professionals out there are gonna wanna ask ya some questions. I'll make sure they go easy on ya, yeah?"

Ike nodded and closed his eyes as the other boy got up to let the doctors back in. He took a deep breath, once again wincing in pain, and prepared himself for the horror that would be the next few minutes.

Hotshot often felt ashamed when looking back on the day of the accident. None of it was his fault. He was often reminded by the Brooklyn boys that there was no way he could've known. But he felt as though he should've. That he should have seen the conjugation of people and he should've known. He should've listened to his gut telling him it was someone he knew. Someone important. Should've ran up and helped. But he didn't.

"It was a Tuesday, Hotshot." Spot had told him in the hospital. "Ya never could'a known. He ain't never come over to visit on a Tuesday. 'Specially not so early. Quit beatin' yerself up about it."

Even Mike had come and talked to him. Usually, they just sat there together in complete silence. But even Mike knew it wasn't his fault. "Listen, I know we ain't close but I gotta talk to ya about this. Spot told me what happened. That you'd seen the accident but didn't think nothing of it and..." He paused. Hotshot prepared himself to get screamed at. Berated for being an absolute idiot and not helping the others brother. But the ambush never came.

"It ain't ya fault," Hotshot continued. "Honest. Ya know I'd scream and kill ya if it was. Ain't no way you coulda took one look at the scene and knew it was him. Hell, I'm his twin brother and I didn't even get the sense that something was wrong 'till Scram came runnin' to tell the news." He sighed again and took another pause. "Even if ya had known. Even if ya had gone and tried to help, what could you have done? Huh? Ya ain't a professional. Situation woulda been the same any way about it."

Hotshot nodded. He understood them. He understood everyone who had come to talk to him. Deep down, he knew it wasn't his fault. But he couldn't stop beating himself up about it.

He relived the day in his head almost every single night. It was a normal Tuesday. Up as early as the birds, carrying the banner and collecting pity from people wandering the streets. He had seen the commotion early in the day. In fact, it had been right after he had bought his papers for the day.

It's far too early for this, he recalled thinking. There was always something going on in New York. Especially in Brooklyn and especially around the circulation buildings. Typically, it was a rough fist fight between two newsies, and at its worst it was a robbery of some sort. But neither of which would cause such a big commotion nor gathering of police and medical personnel.

Hotshot knew deep down something was wrong. He felt drawn to the accident, but he put it aside as his love for fights. Which is what he assumed it was. A big fight that got out of hand. Maybe one that had contanied multiple newsies instead of just two, or that had somehow gotten an adult of importance involved.

But he ignored the calling to the scene. He had a stack of papers on his bicep and they weren't going to sell themselves. Besides, the quicker he was done with work the quicker he could join Ike at Jacobi's. He hadn't even really thought of stopping to see what had happened. Just that it might be something interest, but not something he could be bothered to stop for.

Just thirty minute later, he heard Scram's pattering feet behind him. He turned quickly on his heel, looking down at the boy. He had a horrified look on his face and his cheeks were stained with tears. The boy began to speak, sputtering and rambling over himself. "It's- Ike- Well, he- It was a car- And-"

Hotshot's blood ran cold at the mention of Ike's name. The papers on his arm hit the ground with a thump and sent dust flying into the air around them. "Ike? What about Ike?" Scram began to cry again, flailing his arms and pointing behind him. Hotshot's heart sank. "Scram, spit it out! I need to know what happened!"

"There was an- an accident! He got hurt, real bad. Barely looks alive. He keeps askin' for ya! Ya gotta go! Quick! They're loadin' him into the ambulance!"

"Where, Scram? Where?"

Scram's face was red and covered in snot. "Right outside the circulation building!"

Hotshot's heart sank even farther, something he hadn't believed to be possible. "Listen to me, Scram. Listen good. You go run and you don't stop running 'till you find Mike, alright? You tell him everything. You tell Manhattan everything. Okay?" He didn't even wait for the boys response.

He abandoned his dropped papes as he sprinted as fast as he could back to the circulation building. As he arrived at the scene, he couldn't help but be angry. He pushed his way through the crowd, screaming obscenities and demanding they let him into the ambulance. Police tried to hold him back when he finally made it to the front.

"He's been asking for me! They told me he's been asking for me! I'm Hotshot! Ya gotta let me in!" Hotshot screamed. "His family's all the way in 'Hattan! Ya can't let him go alone! He'll be scared!" Before he could stop himself, he screamed: "Ya can't let 'im die alone!"

Upon hearing the last bit—and discussing the boys name, which the injured boy had been groggily repeating over and over again—the officers let the boy through. Hotshot climbed into the back of ambulance and gripped onto the other boys hand.

"Ya think I'm gonna die?" Ike sputtered out, blood covering his mouth. "I- Mike's gonna be so mad. He ain't gonna have no-one."

Hotshot realized what he had yelled previously and began to panic. "Nah, nah. Ya ain't gonna die, Ike. You'se too strong to, okay? I just said that so they'd let me through. That's all. You'se gonna be just fine."

"I'm scared, Hotshot. I'm really scared."

"Hey, don't say that. You'se gonna be alright. Don't be scared. I ain't! I know you'se gonna be just fine. Okay." But the truth was, Hotshot was horrified. He hadn't been so scared in his entire life. He dropped his voice to a whisper as he continued to speak. "Ya still look so pretty, ya know that? Gorgeous, Ike. Ya gorgeous."

After hearing Hotshot's whispers, the boy took a deep, choked breath and closed his eyes.

After Ike finally woke up, he often thought aloud about what would've happened among different circumstance. Hotshot hated hearing it. He hated thinking about how, if the situation had only been slightly different, Ike could've died.

"What if it had been on Thursday? Someone else coulda been drivin' it. Goin' faster, not have slowed down or stopped. Coulda taken me straight into the next life."

"Would ya stop that?" Hotshot muttered. His face was deep in his hands.

Ike paused for a couple of minutes before speaking up once again. "I coulda been on ya bridge. They coulda sent me straight over into the water. I don't even know how to swim now. Imagine it with broken bones..."

"Ike."

"I coulda been in that neighborhood where all them families lived. Some little kid coulda found me and not told anyone cause they'd be scared they'd get in trouble or something."

"Ike."

"If it had been winter and it was snowing or rainin'. And the car had skidded, lost control. Hit me full speed."

Hotshot had started to tear up and his composure was breaking. "Ike, please." He begged in a broken voice.

But Ike couldn't help himself. He was spiraling. "Or if I was on one of them backroad nobody goes on. Nobody woulda even seen it happen. If just a small little thing was different, I'd probably be-"

"Ike!" Hotshot finally yelled. "Stop. You need to stop. I can't keep doin' it. Can't keep listenin' to ya kill yaself in your daydreams. You're alive, okay? You're alive. So just shut up! Because there's no life, no reality where I'm letting ya die. Alright? Especially not at the hands of some rich idiot's fancy car. So just... stop."

Ike nodded, his voice small. "Sorry. I just... I'm just freaking out. I dunno if I'm meant to be alive right now."

Hotshot sighed. "Listen. You'se the great person alive." He sat down and gently took ahold of his boyfriends hand. "If anyone in this world's meant to be alive, it's you. Alright?" He kissed Ike's hand and wiped at his eye with his own hand. "You're alive, Ike. Don't think about anything else. We got a buncha years ahead of us. Don't worry 'bout nothin' else."

[freddy-fazbears-wonderland]

I just (almost) read the entirety of Happs and I see why people would consider it transphobic.

It just reeks of a trans story written by a transphobe.

Now, keep in mind that I am not a trans person myself. However, I noticed certain things you'll often find in transphobic stories.

And expect me to ramble. A lot.

Also, keep in mind that this is my interpretation of this story. This is what I got out of it.

Trigger warning because I will be talking about transphobia and suicide will be mentioned.

One of the first things I noticed is that it focuses a lot more on how it affects the people around the character as opposed to the character itself.

I'm guessing this is to guilt people who are trans or at the very least questioning their gender into not exploring their identity because the people around them might not accept it.

But to me, nothing is more selfish than expecting someone to fit the idea of them you have in your head. If anything, keeping these people around more often than not causes harm because while there may be genuine concern, they also tend to care a lot more about their own feelings and how it affects them as apposed to how you feel and how it affects you.

Hell, this isn't even an experience unique to trans or queer people. Even cishet folks have gone through the experience of finding themselves only for the people around them to not accept it and try to make them feel bad for changing.

In this story, Billy gets made fun of (though he doesn't care), his father leaves him because he can't have a normal son, and it takes a toll on his mother physically, emotionally and mentally until she ends her own life when he comes of age. There's probably more examples I didn’t list.

Another thing these kinds of stories tend to use is having said character transition into something inhuman, very like insinuating that if we this is what will happen when we become more accepting of people who simply want to change their gender identity. And that's bad because... *checks notes* it's weird.

Look, while I wouldn't call myself a radqueer, I tend not to give a shit about a person's identity a lot of the time.

Anyways, a very blatant example of this in media is in South Park. In the same episode where Mr. Garrison transitions into a woman, we get Kyle transitioning into a tall black boy in order to play basketball, and eventually, his dad transitions into into a dolphin because he always wanted to be a dolphin.

Of course, this doesn't work out for any of them because they're not really what they transitioned into. But Mr. Garrison keeps identifying as a woman for a while because they used his balls to make Kyle's kneecaps, and they exploded after he makes a slamdunk (or at the very least jumps).

While B-7 isn't as blatant as that South Park episode, I couldn't help but notice it as I read further and further. Especially when they start insinuating that he is mentally ill and needs to be sent to a ward.

The final point I will bring up which probably does ties into the last one has to do with trans surgeries.

As someone who used to be an anti-sjw, I know firsthand how transphobes try to make trans surgeries out to be horrible when it's really no different from any other surgery when you really think about it. Well, maybe aside from regulations, but that's due to a society that's still not accepting of trans people as opposed to the problem with the surgeries themselves.

They will go on about how irreversible it is and how it may lead to complications. But like I said before, this isn't unique to trans surgeries.

For example, choosing to donate your kidney is irreversible, and there will be complications, especially with the kidney you have left having to work overtime.

Hell, even the person you gave your kidney to is gonna deal with stuff because your kidney will still function like your kidney even if their body accepts it.

But anyway, Billy eventually decides to have his limbs cut off and replaced with prosthetics to be more like an animatronic. While he is questioned about this decision, he does ultimately get what he wants.

If only it was that easy for trans people irl... But from what I gather from trans people who have gone under the knife, they have fight tooth and nail to medically transition. Not to mention, the lack of regulations makes them more likely to run into complications.

The last thing I wanna go over is how Billy feels more like he wants to be a robot than an animatronic?

This has nothing to do with anything else. I just wanna ramble

Sure, animatronics are still a type of robot. But they tend to be used for entertainment purposes like portraying characters in film, games, and attractions.

The animatronics in FNaF do fit this definition. Regardless of whatever funky shit they have going on, they are still built as characters made to entertain people.

So, if they really wanted to sell us that Billy wanted to be an animatronic, it would make more sense for him to want to find a way to entertain people.

I feel like the plot point with him forgetting how to feel also doesn't make sense?

Because especially with this being tied to Security Breach, we know that the animatronics are fully sentient beings. But even if they weren't, they're still programmed to act like them.

I think it'd make a lot more sense for Billy to slowly turn into his Freddy Fazbear OC and start acting more and more like a fictional character.

Which reeks of one of the writers clearly not being familiar enough with FNaF but I guess this could also be another piece of transphobia since an argument transphobes like to use is that trans people will never truly understand what its like to be the gender they want to be.

I've wasted enough energy on this, so I'll end it here. Thanks for listening to my ramble if you even bothered. As you could probably tell, this is my least favorite story in any fnaf book.

[youremyheaven]

As someone who’s been in their Saturn Dasha since they were 4 and still has 3 years left, I feel like I can give some advice.

If you want to be a little more prepared, look at what house(s) Saturn is going to be transiting for you. For me, it was my 5th and 6th house. So how did that manifest? Well, I had very strict parents and was not allowed/discouraged from doing activities my friends would do. Like I wasn’t allowed to do any extra curriculars because we didn’t have enough money, I wasn’t allowed to walk to the store with my friends because my mom was too afraid I’d get kidnapped or something, I had a strict 5:30 curfew, ect. Just in general, fun was very limited. Also romance, I still have never had a boyfriend (😔) and it was hard to watch all my friends get into talking stages and do typical teenage love stuff. Also I stopped myself from having fun because I was so self conscious and insecure. Not confident at all.

Now for the 6th house… my moon is in the 6th house so maybe it was worse for me but this was/is roughhhhh. Father and brother getting seriously ill within the same few months, since 2022 there hasn’t been a month without a hospital visit. And now I have my own mysterious kidney issues that have been happening for a few years as well. In general my health has been crazy. It’s true that psychically moving helps with Saturn. As previously mentioned, I was very insecure and thought looking “better” was the answer so I developed an eating disorder then turned into binge eating because I couldn’t sustain it, then turned into too much working out, until I’ve finally mellowed out and have a moderate disciplined routine. Haha that little anecdote is how I’d describe Saturn dasha. Learning everything the hard and long way, but you come out on top. Also accepting suffering as part of the human experience. I don’t think Saturn can ever be “easy”. The point is to grow. So as much as you can expect and prepare, actually living it is completely different and you will probably feel like giving up many many times. But the important part is that you don’t. It will feel excruciatingly slowwww, believe me, but you’ll look back and realize the only way you could’ve learned that lesson was by living it long and hard.

Also (please listen!!!!) the best advice I can give right now is, DO NOT THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING. Whether you think something good or bad. That is a one way ticket to getting humbled beyond imagination. Learn to surrender, especially when you don’t understand why you’re going through it. In the 19 years of Saturn there’s still going to be good days, weeks, and months. remember that when things get tough. You can do it 🙂‍↕️

thank you for sharing 🫶 this is good advice ✨

[deconstructivesurgery]

this is stupid and normally i don't believe much that posting about your personal life could be useful to other people but fuck it, i want to talk about what happened to me this year as i both somehow started feeling the celiac i've probably had for years and was diagnosed with it. two important lists! don't use this to diagnose yourself, i'm not an armchair doc, but this was my experience with this funny disease.

THINGS I THOUGHT CELIAC DISEASE WAS AS I GOT PROGRESSIVELY WORSE AND SICKER OVER TIME:

lingering stomach issues/ a sensitive stomach combined with a caffeine/lactose intolerance that i took an excess amount of pepto-bismol for. i ate fucking cream of wheat a lot because i thought it was a "simple food" that would calm my stomach. how was i to know?

a bad hangover, because after one specific day drinking out with friends it just seemed to get worse and so much worse. (i had had pizza that day and even alcohol with gluten in it, i know now). this spiralled, as i continued to get worse and worse. i feared liver failure, kidney damage, thought somehow i'd managed to drink enough to permanently harm myself despite being very careful about my alcohol intake due to family history.

see previous. kidney damage/failure. liver damage/failure. SIBO (small intestine bacterial overload) or other such small intestine/large intestine issues. ulcers. i feared every single stomach/small intestine/large intestine condition with vaguely overlapping symptoms that seemed accurate to what i was experiencing. it was at this point that i wound up in the ER for the first of several times.

a viral stomach infection, because that's what the people at the ER told me it was the first time i went before sending me home :) nevermind the fact i told them i'd been sick for a long time. long enough that even if it had been a viral illness, something would have been Really Wrong.

endometriosis/ovarian cysts/ some kind of uterus/hormonal-related misery that had somehow gotten bad enough to affect other parts of my body. irrational thought? probably, but i was panicking. people want answers when they're panicking and feel like they're getting weaker and sicker by the week with no end in sight.

dehydration alone. no other issue here, you just don't drink enough water. you're also strangely losing weight and suffering some kind of malnutrition? maybe you need to eat better. this was after going to the ER a second time, and being dismissed as dehydrated because i didn't drink enough water. i was confused. i drank water- enough of it that i should have been fine. i had never let it go to the point of suffering ill effects, but i didn't want to question anyone- you say it's my fault and don't question whether or not my gut is even fucking absorbing the food, electrolytes, and water i'm giving it? sure thing boss. my bad.

at some point i genuinely just assumed i was dying of something, not even going to lie. call me dramatic if you will but people do not take being incredibly sick constantly for eight months nonstop with grace. i was paranoid i had some kind of cancer no one was recognizing, or permanent intestinal damage of some kind.

THINGS I EXPERIENCED WITH CELIAC WHILE UNWELL:

Gas, bloating, a constant strange sense of discomfort in my guts, etc- a lot of gastrointestinal symptoms you'd equate with having some kind of stomach flu or stomach ulcers.

Bad acid reflux.

Constant nausea to some degree. Sometimes bad enough that it left me retching for half an hour, sometimes just a vague queasiness that drove me insane. I never threw up once over the span of this eight months, but I gagged and retched and felt like I was Going To constantly over this span of time. This was the worst to me personally, despite the pain and discomfort of everything else. I am still prone to anxiety attacks whenever I feel myself possibly getting even slightly nauseous now. Funnily, thought, I am not afraid of the concept of throwing up.

Bad stomach cramping, internal pains.

Awful fatigue. Like, BAD fatigue. Keep in mind, I already live with arthritis and mental illness, so I'm used to managing fatigue- but up until I started feeling Celiac symptoms, I had it firmly under control with medicine. I could barely feel awake at any time of day, I would sleep for 18-20 hours straight at times, all too often I couldn't even muster up the energy to move when I wanted to. I'd just lie there and feel like I was about to shut down and fall asleep again.

Brain fog, exacerbations of all the other symptoms of my other conditions. etc. Any mental health condition I had that I had previously had under control? Nope. You are the pinnacle of misery now.

Perpetual dehydration and malnutrition despite my best attempts at vitamins/hydration/electrolyte consumption and so on and so forth. None of that can do much for you when your body isn't absorbing anything. I also dropped weight like a stone.

No appetite whatsoever, of course.

When it got really bad, the insomnia I already had became so much worse. I suddenly couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried, sometimes even with the application of my insomnia medication. I would be stuck awake until I physically could no longer handle that, and then I'd be out again for up to 18-19 hours or more.

[lets-donate-a-kidney]

Reasons to Donate a Kidney

You can make terrible, terrible kidney puns, and no one can stop you from kidney-ing around.

The average lifespan on dialysis is only 5-10 years. You might extend someone's life by 20 years or more!

Dialysis is painful, exhausting, prevents a person from holding a regular work schedule or traveling, and weakens their body over time. Eventually, it fails. You'd be freeing someone to have a normal life.

You aren't just helping the recipient: you're giving something priceless to all the friends and family members who care about that person.

Kidneys from living donors have a higher success rate than kidneys from deceased donors, and last for twice as long!

You might start a kidney chain, in which multiple people receive kidneys! The longest chain on record gave kidneys to over 100 people - and was started by a stranger who didn't know any of them.

Over 80,000 people in the USA alone need a kidney transplant, and several thousand die every year waiting for one. But if even just 1 in 1000 adults donated a kidney, we could wipe out the waiting list overnight.

Kidneys almost always fail in pairs. Your chance of kidney failure isn't much higher with one kidney compared to two.

You get cool donation scars to show people!

Kidney donors actually live longer than the general population, and have a lower rate of kidney failure! Why? Because the screening process for kidney donation screens out potential illnesses early, and kidney donors are more likely to take care of their bodies afterward.

If your remaining kidney does fail, you'll be put at the top of the kidney wait-list, and spend much less time on dialysis. As a result, kidney donors actually have a higher survival rate for kidney failure than non-donors.

The National Kidney Registry also lets kidney donors extend this waitlist benefit to several friends and relatives, in case any of them ever have kidney failure.

The risk of long-term complications from kidney donation is extremely low. Most people can start walking within a day of surgery, go back to work in 1-2 weeks, and are back to 100% within a month.

Doctors and nurses LOVE doing living donor transplants! The success rate is high, complications are low, there's none of the tragedy associated with postmortem transplants, and for once their patients are eager to be there. And, as my nephrologist said, "It's a lot more rewarding than prescribing Viagra!"

It's a way to put a little more kindness into the world, and your example might inspire others, too.

In the USA, all costs for surgery and screenings are covered by the recipient's health insurance or Medicaid/Medicare; you as the donor will not have to pay for it. You can also get reimbursement for lost income through the National Kidney Registry.

Most people will have to get surgery and spend a night in the hospital anyway if they live long enough. Donating an organ lets you have this experience on your terms, while you're healthy, so hospitalization won't be scary or overwhelming if you need it later in life.

You'll learn new things about your body! I discovered that I had an extra vein on the left side of my torso, and that my hemoglobin levels were low. The vein is harmless and cool, but the hemoglobin thing (and taking iron supplements for it) actually helped me avoid developing an iron deficiency later.

It's a chance to be part of something bigger than yourself - a miracle of modern science!

I won't say donating a kidney was "easy," but I will say it was 95% waiting on people, 4% letting doctors and nurses talk at me, and 1% letting them stick me with needles. The hardest part wasn't pain, or fear, but sitting around tired for a couple days.

You probably won't have to make many modifications to your lifestyle after kidney donation. Literally the only activity I was told to avoid was contact sports, and if I'm in pain I take acetaminophen instead of ibuprofen.

You can get a tattoo that says "Some parts may be missing," or "Organ donation - it takes guts!" and a kidney pillow souvenir.

If donating while alive isn't right for you, you can still sign up to be a postmortem organ donor, and increase awareness of living donation! Remember, it would only take a small percentage of people donating to make a BIG difference!

[abigailalvaran]

Dear Friends, Family, and Animal Lovers,

I come to you with a heavy heart and a plea for help for our beloved feline friend, Meow Meow. Our sweet Meow Meow, a vibrant and affectionate 4-year-old indoor cat, has recently fallen gravely ill. It all started this past Sunday, April 7th, when he began vomiting incessantly that we rushed him to the veterinary clinic.

Meow Meow's kidneys were failing, and the levels were so alarmingly high that they couldn't even be accurately read on the charts. Our once lively and vocal companion now lay weak and lethargic, unable to muster the energy to even meow.

The vet recommended immediate hospitalization for at least three days to stabilize his condition and administer the necessary treatment. They said his kidney damage is severe so we are praying for the best for him to fight it. This unexpected turn of events has left us emotionally and financially drained. The bills for his critical care are mounting rapidly, and we find ourselves struggling to meet them.

Meow Meow holds a special place in our hearts. His outgoing and friendly nature has brought joy to everyone he meets. He always greets me with enthusiastic meows (which is why we named him Meow Meow as anyone who meets him can tell you he is the loudest cat you will ever meet) and affectionate rubs every time I come home, a routine that I have grown so used to that when I came home on Monday to take him to the vet after my class, I was greeted with silence as he stayed in my bed instead of running towards me by the sound of the front door opening. He would not even open his eyes and that is when I knew something was really wrong. I had even tried to get him to move by placing him on the floor, but he then struggled to get back on my bed as he did not even have the energy to jump.

Any contribution, no matter how small, would be immensely appreciated. Your generosity will not only help cover Meow Meow's medical expenses but also provide us with the reassurance that we are not alone in this difficult time.Please consider donating to our GoFundMe campaign and sharing our story with your friends and family. Together, we can give Meow Meow the fighting chance he deserves and bring him back home where he belongs.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your kindness, support, and love for our precious Meow Meow.

https://gofund.me/390d27dd

[puppyexpressions]

Christmas Hazards for Your Dog

We've put together our top tips to make sure you’re in the know about how to keep your four-legged friend safe this Christmas season, so your dog can enjoy the festivities too!

Which parts of a Christmas dinner can I give to my dog?

Providing your dog is healthy and is not allergic to the following foods, it’s safe to feed your dog a little bit of these foods at Christmas:

turkey meat (no skin or bones)

salmon (fillets or cooked in spring water are preferable to smoked salmon)

lamb meat (no bones)

green beans

Brussels sprouts

parsnips

carrot

peas

swede

mash potato (best without added butter)

new potatoes

sweet potatoes

Note: New foods should always be introduced slowly, as too much can cause an upset tummy. Foods high in fat or salt should also be avoided.

Toxic Christmas food for dogs

Christmas is the time for eating, drinking and being merry, but lots of our favourite festive foods are toxic to our dogs and should be kept well out of paws reach:

chocolate – chocolate is toxic to dogs and even small amounts can cause serious illness. Find out what to do if you think your dog has eaten chocolate.

Christmas pudding and mince pies – grapes and dried vine fruits, including currants, sultanas and raisins, can cause severe kidney failure if eaten

onions (and garlic, leeks, shallots and chives) – these all belong to the allium species of plant and are poisonous to dogs whether cooked or uncooked. Avoid feeding foods that include these ingredients, such as gravy.

alcohol – alcohol has a similar effect in dogs as it does in their owners. Make sure your dog can't help themselves to any unattended alcohol left lying around.

macadamia nuts – macadamia nuts can cause lethargy (tiredness), weakness in the back legs, increased body temperature, tremors and stiffness

leftovers – don’t be tempted to give your dog leftover Christmas food – they can include hidden ingredients toxic to dogs and mold in leftovers can make them ill

sweets – many of the sweets we eat over Christmas, such as candy canes, contain a sugar-free sweetener called xylitol, which is poisonous to dogs

Important: If you think your dog has eaten something they shouldn’t, contact your vet for advice.

Are real Christmas trees poisonous to dogs?

The most common types of Christmas trees including pine, fir and spruce are not highly toxic to dogs, but oils they produce and the pine needles that drop from the tree can pose a risk. Not only can the sharp pine needles get stuck in your dog’s paws, they can also cause a mild stomach upset or blockage if eaten.

If you have a dog but would like a real Christmas tree, you can opt for a non-drop variety – just remember to never leave your dog unsupervised around the tree.

Dog proof your Christmas tree

Christmas trees can have hidden dangers for your four-legged friend – here’s our top tips to keep your dog safe around the tree.

Keep decorations out of paws reach

Decorations such as baubles and tinsel can cause a dangerous stomach blockage if swallowed. Hang Christmas tree decorations up high to prevent mischievous paws (or tails) from knocking them off, and remember to never hang chocolate decorations as chocolate is poisonous to dogs.

Don’t leave presents under the tree

Christmas presents lying under the tree can be too tempting for our four-legged friends – especially if the gift is edible! It’s best to keep wrapped gifts out of paws reach, as wrapping paper can cause a blockage in your dog’s tummy if too much is eaten.

Keep fairy light cables tidy

The wires on fairy lights can be tempting for your dog to chew. Keep any cables out of your dog’s reach and remember to switch them off at the mains when they’re not in use.

Always supervise your dog

Whether you have a real or an artificial tree, it’s always best to supervise your dog around the Christmas tree, so you can spot mischief before they get themselves into trouble. It may be a good idea to keep your dog out of the room completely while you’re out.

Christmas poisonous plants

Christmas plants make the season all the more festive, but these traditional Christmas plants are toxic to dogs:

poinsettia

holly

mistletoe

ivy

potpourri

Stress in dogs at Christmas

The festive fun can get a little overwhelming for our four-legged friends – here are our tips for a stress-free Christmas with your dog.

Get to know the signs of stress

You can help your dog to deal with stress by understanding the signs – this will allow you to be aware of when the festivities are getting a little too exciting. 

Don’t dress them up

Dressing up might seem fun for you, but remember that your dog will find it stressful. If you want to get your dog involved with the festivities, you could try making them a homemade Christmas present of their own instead.

Provide them with a safe place

Christmas brings with it lots of guests, but too many can be stressful for your dog. It’s best to prepare for visitors before they arrive, by providing a safe space for your dog to retreat. This could be a quiet room or a den – just make sure it’s somewhere where your dog can’t be disturbed, and remember to provide them with their food, water and any familiar toys, so they have everything they need in their safe space. This also applies if other pets are visiting your home.

If you are expecting visiting children during the Christmas period and your dog isn’t used to their company, take a look at our advice on keeping your dog and visiting children safe.

Stick to a Christmas routine

Routine can often get lost in the chaos of Christmas, but sticking to the routine that your dog is used to, can help minimize stress. Try to make sure your dog eats at the same time, still goes on the same amount of walks and has plenty of time to rest – Christmas can be tiring for our four-legged friends!

[dragonquill]

The last few weeks, y'all

My mother keeps saying it's been a "tough karma weekend" and I just want to shake her and ask her does the understand that implies I deserve it??? Does she think I am a horrible person??

Anyway

Last May, I felt like I had a really nasty uti (called a "bladder infection" colloquially where I live). I went to the doc, given antibiotics of the general kind, and was tested for an actual UTI. Never got results. Called, never got an answer, etc.

Continue to be sick through June and July. With the return to work looming, I went to my regular doc in mid-July. I was given antibiotics and a test to see if there was a UTI.

The techs on the test accidentally tore the name label, making the final "e" of my last name disappear, so the test could not be run.

Doctor is making noise about cancer being more important to check for than running another infection check, and I'm referred to a specialist. He talks cancer (I'm cool, this is fine, this is fine, I mean, someone at my workplace was literally fired for missing too many days due to cancer without enough "evidence" last year, but I'm SURE IT WILL BE FINE) , then orders a CT scan and finds a HUGE KIDNEY STONE in my right kidney.

16 mm, if you are a kidney stone aficionado like myself. A stone must be under 5 mm to have a chance of passing on its own.

Now first, I have had about a dozen stones over the last 20 years, but this one was in the kidney, so it didn't hurt like a stone. It was just screwing stuff up in there, thus making the painful and sick UTI symptoms.

Secondly, this should have been dealt with back in March but whatEVS.

I put off the surgery for a few weeks because we're back to work and being out in the beginning of the year is a nightmare.

August 28, I have the procedure to break up the stone and a stent put in.

August 29, I know that something is Not Right because I am in constant, throbbing pain.

August 30, I call the doc and am, of course, completely dismissed about the whole pain issue. "That's normal" the nurse says before basically hanging up on me.

Sept. 7, 9:15 am. The stent is removed at the doctor's office. The relief is incalculable because that thing hurt like a MOTHER every second of every day.

By 1:00 I know that something is, once again, Very Wrong, because THIS time I have the HELLA OW back pain that is a kidney stone in the ol' tubes AND feel like I am (TMI) still peeing boiling acid as I have since Aug. 29. And for a special bonus, there is vomiting. (There's no fever. I haven't run a fever in two decades. My body just Does Not Care to Try That Hard.)

Call doc, leave message. Call doc at 1, leave message. Call doc at 3, leave message. Decide fine, I will drive my deeply pained and probably shouldn't be driving ass 40 minutes to the hospital ER. (An ambulance ride would be 100s of dollars, even with my pretty good health insurance, and I've already spent several hundred on this situation in copays.)

Sitting in the ER with 1/4 of the city's population, the doc's office finally calls back around 4 pm and says, "With those symptoms, you need to go immediately to the AR."

SURPRISE BENCH I'M ALREADY HERE.

Wait in the ER and have a test now and again from ~4pm to 10:30 pm. (The hospital did make sure I paid my $150 ER copay even though they had done nothing for two hours at the time. Priorities.) Make nice with the nurses, trying to figure out why I have been given zero pain meds when I have been officially referred my by doctor for a kidney stone related issue. Find out about 9 they will not give me pain meds without a urinalysis.

My dudes, my laydees, my folks who have no time for the gender binary, I had no liquid left in my poor, dehydrated, screaming body. ALSO the drink machine in the ER is closed and I am there alone, so I can't send someone to brave the streets in search of some gosh darned water. THERE IS NO WATER TO DRINK EXCEPT THE BATHROOM TAP AND NOT A SINGLE CUP AVAILABLE TO THE ILL MASSES.

A kind nurse finally gets me a cup of ice water, which I gulp down because dammIT I am in pain. Finally, peeage happens around 10:00.

It takes more than an hour to run the test and find out, wow, I have a raging infection. By this time I have had an abdominal sonogram and a CT scan, so they KNOW I have a giant obstruction! WHY DID I NEED AN INFECTION TO GET PAINKILLERS.

So I'm sitting there, crying silently in pain because you know. And the skin on my face is RIDICULOUS and literally is BURNED BY MY TEARS so I look an especial mess and no one is checking on me but I am clearly making the other pathetic ER patrons uncomfortable. Finally, the nurse I had been very politely asking for updates throughout the night comes up and asks, "Are you ready to get out of here?" and moves me, bless her, to a weird little side room with a powerful "This used to be a closet vibe." I get painkillers a little before midnight. I have been in full kidney stone pain for 11 hours.

The nurses tell me the CT scan show a 1.6 centimeter stone in my tubage. I think, "Wait, that's hardly smaller than it was," before my American brain goes back to middle school math class and says, "WAIT THAT IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS 16 MM WHAT THE H E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS?!"

At 1:30 AM I am moved to the room and told my doc will see me in the morning.

Doc arrives ~8 am. I have had nothing to drink since midnight, so I am hoping we get this show on the road. He tries to claim the original procedure "worked" because the stone is broken up it just, you know, all JAMMED ITSELF BACK INTO A BALL as soon as the stent was out and built a little campsite complete with RAGING FIRE so we are gonna have to have another procedure under full anesthesia to pull it out and put in another stent.

I was too tired to strangle him, so I am not in jail.

I am finally taken back for surgical prep and to sign my life away around 4. I sit around for hours and finally go back to surgery ~ 7 pm.

Friends, acquaintances, and mortal enemies, I was so fricking thirsty.

ANYWAY I'm back to my room, feeling grumpy because my version of getting high from "the good stuff" is becoming Oscar the Grouch Minus Trashcan. I never get to feel all floaty and nice. Because life is a bench.

By the next morning, it is absolutely clear to me that something was VERY WRONG with the previous stent because THIS one is mildly uncomfortable, and not HELLO KNIVES TO THE GUT by my doc is just still trying to claim the first surgery was a success even though it FAILED SO BADLY I HAD A SECOND SURGERY (complete with copay). But whatever, your girl is tired, I wanna go home.

I am driven home because one can't drive on The Good Stuff. I'm home about 2 pm on Saturday afternoon, and zonk out in front of the television. Hallelujah.

Friend gives me a ride to the ER parking lot on Sunday to get my car. This means I haven't taken pain pills, but I'm not feeling the need since there is, apparently, nothing wrong with this fnjdksbhkbgiywebubWOEING stent unlike the first one. We pull up, I hop out and turn the key in my lovely little toy car.

AND IT DOES NOT START.

IT HAS DIED JUST SITTING IN THE ER PARKING LOT.

WHAT THE HELL ROSALEE??? I THOUGHT WE LOVED EACH OTHER!! I KNOW I KEEP TOO MUCH JUNK IN THE BACKSEAT BUT THIS???

Now, I do not have my cellphone because I somehow didn't plug it in last night and it was dead this morning. I am blaming the grouchy morphine. My jumper cables are, I realize, hanging in my garage, and my friend doesn't have any. We take her car to go buy jumper cables. Return to the ER parking lot, where we have become an entertaining show for the security personnel stuck out by the front entrance, drinking coffee and most likely taking bets on jumping the toy battery inside my toy car, which is stupidly difficult to get hooked up to the cables.

While I am waging war, a lovely mechanic walks by (female presenting person by open car hood looking pitiful generally leads to this in my area, and I appreciate it) and finally! Rosalee is running!

My friend insists on following me back to the auto place Just in Case only she leaves her phone in my car somehow and I have NO phone and we completely misunderstand what was supposed to happen and lose each other to driving the 2 miles between ER and Auto Zone several times trying to figure out where the heckadoodle the other person IS.

Every time you go through the ER parking lot, it costs $2 to get out. Just. As a bonus.

BUT FINALLY we met up at the AutoZone, and of course my Toy Battery is only available in one premium style (because toy cars are a pain in the klodney; my toy car also comes with impossible-to-find TOY TIRES, I kid you not, do not trust online reviews and research when you are a vehicle luddite). But that's okay! It's fine! The wonderful, knowledgeable tech installs it, my friend and I part ways with only minimal frustrated crying, she has her phone, I have my car, and I DRIVE HOME TO MY HOUSE AND GO TO BED FOREVER AND EVER AMEN.

Except I have to get everything ready for work tomorrow, so.....I'm awake again.

And my mother keeps insisting it's a "bad karma experience" and I'm just

DO YOU THINK I AM A SERIAL KILLER OR SOMETHING I LITERALLY DO NOT SQUASH SPIDERS.

Anyway, have a nice week, everyone, I am going back to bed until 6 in the ack emma.

Bai.

[my-mummy-dust]

Hello love,

after your encouragement to spam your inbox with my fic ideas, here it comes. Please be honest if it's not your style or you don't like it 🤍

The BAU Team gets a new teammate. A young, beautiful but shy woman (don't know if you want to make an oc or reader character, I don't care) joins Hotch's team. Hotch is instantly taken aback by the new girl and that pisses him off, how can he be attracted to an unknown woman. Pissed off and stoic as he is, he's really strict and unfriendly to her. Furthermore Strauss refuses to give him any deeper background information about her. So in a constant bad mood he mopes his way around her. She on the other hand is really secretive, shy and distant and sometimes jumpy in front of her colleagues. She has a bad past with her last team, which only Strauss knows. The poor woman was severely harassed in her last team. After the last undercover assignment her old team (only men with macho behavior) snapped and it got unbearable for her. They gave her the responsibility of the death of her partner. In fact she and her partner got captured and tortured during that oc operation. Which also left her with severe health issues. Due to a stab wound she has a long scar on her side, under her ribcage and lost a kidney. The waterboarding left her with sensitive lungs and now she often has problems during cold weather (maybe she struggles one time when the BAU Team is on a case, and Morgan and Spencer and Rossi are protective, Hotch is only pissed). Nightmares are plaguing her often. She wants to be strong for her BAU teammates, because they are all very sweet to her and protective and some of them already suspect that she had a hard past and after Morgan accidentally sees her scar, he gets more protective. Hotch can't seem to overcome his trust issues and he confronts Strauss, it gets really loud and his loud argument concerning herself is not unheard by the reader. The next few days she shuts herself more and more out. Not able to sleep properly and can't keep any food down, with flashbacks of her last uncover operation and the bad harassment of her last colleagues she falls seriously ill during a flight to their next case. Running a high fever the team worries for her wellbeing during the flight. In her feverish state and in pain she mumbles and gives away some snippets of her past. Now Hotch can do the math and his heart shatters for her.... Some protective Hotch, attending sick colleague and a happy ending would make me happy =)

I know this is so much to ask and really insane. But thanks for giving me the chance to spread my ideas.

I absolutely love this!! I’ll start working on it either tonight or tomorrow! 🤍

[birkalembindil]

FLOWS, FLOWS…

The heart flows, water flows, day flows, night flows, flows, flows... So much so that graceful life, adorned with ever new hopes, flows within, flows...

For the past three or four days, the fuel station adorned with flags near the city's last intersection on the Ankara-Istanbul highway had seen a decline in its usual bustling customers. Vehicles scattered from east to west, west to east, to all corners of the world, would surely queue up at the pumps again one day.

In the absence of customers, the staff had been assigned to clean every nook and cranny. Except for İrfan Gündüz, the gas station attendant who had been suffering from kidney pain that started on the second day of the holiday and had been writhing for a week. He had just turned fifty. Previously, he was also a tradesman. Unfortunately, now he was waiting for his retirement at someone else's door. He had ignored his only daughter Ayşe's words, "You are sick, Dad. Please don't go to work. I'll take leave and take care of you," and rushed to his job. His colleagues had taken him under their protection and allowed him to rest in a corner with the advice, "Keep your eyes wide open, and don't keep the customers waiting!"

He didn't know how many nights he hadn't slept. His illness had left him with no strength, draining the light from his eyes and the strength from his knees. Although the sun hadn't risen high yet, it had already started sending its significant hot rays. Fortunately, he managed to reach the pump without keeping the owner of the high-end, latest model vehicle waiting. As he approached the majestic black rock that defied nature on the hills of his village, its grandeur was intimidating. The black car also looked enormous to him, so he stepped back.

Emel Sayın's crystal clear voice echoed from the car with its doors and windows closed. The bitter cry of the song's lament was enough to engulf the surroundings. Although the lyrics "Rain down water, my God, until I'm covered in flames, until I'm burned, until I'm quenched" didn't soothe hearts, the soul-soothing holiness of the music was good for the petrol station attendant. That is why he remembered the fairy-like girl with blue eyes, who radiated kindness and was not yet twenty-three. The sieve-maker could imitate the nightingale-voiced artist beautifully.

"Welcome! Shall we fill up your fuel tank, sir?"

"No, no. Just give me one hundred and fifty lira's worth. Excuse me, where is the restroom?"

"Turn left after you enter the market, sir."

When the gas station attendant looked around, there were no vehicles coming or going, nor any friends in sight. The black giant beside him was constantly changing roles. Sometimes it shrank like a fleeing mouse, and sometimes it came at him like a wounded tiger. He had about three and a half years until retirement. He most wanted to see his daughter get married.

After providing the fuel, he wanted to walk around the car and do some small cleanups. The vehicle was as clean as if it had just come out of the factory. He changed his mind.

He had prepared the receipt for the customer. People from Ankara loved holidays. They would return to the capital only a day or two before schools reopened. Never mind, the attendant used the lull in business to recover. He started work at eight in the morning and finished at eight in the evening. To get one day off per week, he had to work until midnight twice a week. The previous month, two hundred lira found to be counterfeit was deducted from his account in one go. He had spent a lot on this Feast of Sacrifice as well. By the middle of the month, he had already incurred a debt of three hundred sixty-five lira. Most of the money had been spent on his illness.

 "Hey, I used to get thirty-two liters of diesel for one hundred and fifty lira. Did the fuel prices go up? Why did you give me twenty-eight liters this time? I don't understand."

"Diesel? Did you say diesel?..." 

The saddest part of Emel Sayın's song had begun. "As life leaves the body, rain down water, my God, rain down water, rain down water!" Before he could say someone wanted water and someone else diesel, the gas station attendant collapsed on the spot.

"Run, the man has fallen! Is there anyone?"

The station's rules for employing workers were clear. The most explicit and non-negotiable was that if the wrong fuel was put into a vehicle, all costs would be charged to the attendant, who would then be sacked.

"You've ruined my car! I'll make you pay dearly for this!" The driver's anger was growing in the large station. Those who ran to the noise saw one person standing by the pump, clutching his head in his hands and seemingly mad, while another lay on the ground, staring skyward like a motionless wooden mannequin. They hurriedly moved the black vehicle to the back of the station. The man's anger was unabated. Besides the cashier woman, who was in tears next to the fallen attendant, there was no one else: "My brother, my father, please open your eyes. What will I say to your Peri then?"

The mournful siren of the ambulance heading to the station faded away after it took the attendant. The next morning, those who saw the sign "Attendant Wanted" noted the phone number to inquire about the working hours and salary, unaware of what had happened the previous day.

Where life ends, sighs and regrets flow, lawsuits flow, prayers flow, longings flow, memories flow, forgetfulness flows, flows, flows... Then the heart flows again, the water flows, the night flows, flows, flows... So much so that with hopes always fresh within, delicate lives adorned with budding roses flow, flow, flow...

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 ‘so now that he won the bet, he’s gonna fuck Baywatch and then what? Business as usual?’ It just showed that Justin was bailed out by Jen and Ben ‘fucking Ben. You had one fucking job! Imagine if itd be Jen and Brian. I love Jen so much and i need her to go visit Brian and talk shit about literally anyone or anything.’ The camera is now on Lindsay venting and he goes ‘i bet my kidney, its Brian that she’s using as her therapist. HA I FUCKING KNEW IT (brian hits his head) when i asked for someone to knock sense into him this wasnt what i meant but ill take it…i can’t believe i agree with Lindsay about the bet. *pauses tv and jumps up* YOURE GONNA THINK IM CRAZY BUT! Remember how when Brian was robbed, she told him he lost Justin and wrote down his name next to his valuables? And now she once again told him he lost something far more valuable: JUSTIN! That’s a fucking parallel, right? Im right! Im a genius! Now come on Lindsay, force him to get back with Blondie’ BTW all of Mel and Lindsay’s in house separated scenes he just groans at and watches with a side eye. And we are at the Brandon/Brian scene *starts laughing* ‘Baywatch, literally nobody wants you. You’re the wrong Blondie. I can’t believe Brian kept the bike after the race…and just let it stay at the loft. Imagine it’s his little “i did that” souvenir. Wait thats not the point of this, the point is, i hate this bet, i hate mr baywatch and this is all bullshit. Brian, baby, please win back Justin. All you guys gotta do is just talk and get on the same page…maybe some new rules since someoneeeee kept breaking them’ and Brian is about to kick out brandon ‘baywatch here sure thinks a lot about himself. (Brandon says brian’s years are numbered) fellas, you do know someone will always wanna fuck you, right? Maybe not you but Brian? For sure. Why isn’t he..OH HES KICKING HIM OUT! ITS NOT THE RIGHT BLONDIE! That’s the reason, right?’ ‘Okay so Drew and Emmett are back together, not what i asked for it but okay. Now give me what i fucking asked for’ scene cuts to ben and Mikey ‘OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! So hunter is just gone? They really wrote him out? Can they do the same for Mike?’ And we are now with Brian at the club ‘he sure does love that sleeveless shirt. He let Baywatch back in? (brian says the locked doors line) look at that fucking smile. He knows he’s always gonna be the best no matter who the fuck comes in and tries to dethrone him. It’ll never fucking happen’ After that he turned to me and went ‘please say this baywatch story is done. I hated it. But also in a small tiny way, i liked that i think it made Brian realize that he can’t escape growing old and lowkey accepted it in that last part. But please say its done. There’s only a few episodes left and we have more important stuff to do’

YOURE GONNA THINK IM CRAZY BUT! Remember how when Brian was robbed, she told him he lost Justin and wrote down his name next to his valuables? And now she once again told him he lost something far more valuable: JUSTIN! That’s a fucking parallel, right? Im right! Im a genius! NGL He is a genius. Great parallel. Which I've never noticed because I haven't watched S5 much at all.

I loveeeee him pointing out the bike as a souvenir. That's so not Brian and also entirely him at the same time. Like the part of himself that nobody gets to see.

Brandon is not the right Blondie. That's always been my theory of that scene.

CAN THEY WRITE OUT MIKEY I dieeeeeeee (your brother is going to feel sooooo guilty when Mikey gets injured)

Only a few episodes left and more important things to do. Like tear everyone's hearts apart.

[xghosttown]

I said goodbye to my baby man last night. I just said goodbye to Brody last week on the 10th and watched Timmy also wither away until I had no other choice but to let the love of my life go to join my beautiful baby girl. He was so special. I've never known another cat like him. He was incredibly smart, sweet, unique, and had so much love in this tiny little body. Every single person who has met him has fallen in love with him. He and Brody both knew how to give kisses, like almost human kisses. Lips to lips. I will forever miss those kisses. He was my everything. My soulmate, my child, the love of my life, the sun in my sky. My skies are so dark now that my sun and moon are gone. Their sick little bodies could not hold out any longer and they were both ready to go across the rainbow bridge where I cannot yet follow. I was so very fucking luck to have called Timmy and Brody my babies for 17 amazing years, which is longer than most cat life spans. They came into my life around the same time, they were roughly the same age, they got sick around the same time, they had almost the same illnesses, and they left me around the same time. The pain is unbearable. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I was not expecting to lose him so soon after I lost her. They both were losing their fight to kidney disease and all the other things that were attacking their weak little bodies. There was nothing I could do for them. I had to let them go. I still sometimes forget that their gone and then I remember the haunting images of their last moments in my arms as they took their last breaths. That will stick with me for the rest of my life. I am completely shattered and hollow inside. They weren't just pets, they weren't just my cats, they were my children. I may not have given birth to them, but I raised them and I made goddamn sure they were spoiled and loved. The universe is vast and infinite and that is still not enough room for the love I had and will always have for my babies. All of me loved all of them. The pain will lessen over time, but I will grieve for them for the rest of my life because they were just that special. Sweet dreams my beautiful baby man and my beautiful baby girl. I'll see you again.