#ik its from march but

[ilikemicrowaves]

So many fopanw aus/episode ideas in my brain.. so many..

[coniangray]

Whos watching life in Hawkins??

This hit me earlier when I realized all four stories of st4 had someone/ something being a know-it-all god or a heterodiagetic narrator watching and knowing everything all at once.

But not everywhere (pun intended)

All four storylines have both types of narrators:

A homodiegetic one, this being a character involved in the story and showing their prescription of things

A heterodiagetic one, aka the know-it-all god, recording and watching all the other characters.

Homodiegetic:

For the Hawkins plot it was max. For California it was Will and Mike. For the lab it was eleven, and for the prison it was Hopper (and I think Joyce on her way there, since the prison plot is somehow separate from Joyce and Yuri's plot).

I can tell, because we SEE all of those characters feelings displayed on screen in one way or another. Max was curious during the curse, therefore bringing the whole team together, Wills lingering in California was also shown through him only, Hopper's desparation and fear for joyce not making it safe ect.

The only one I'm on the fence about is Mike, since the last time we got a scene from his prospective was in s2 or at the rain fight in s3 I think. Aka, Mike's pov was not shown enough in s4, but it was there.

Heterodiagetic narrator:

This might sound tricky at first but it's not. Even though this narrator is not supposed to be a character at all: instead, they're just a messenger who convey the story from the writer to the reader (as all narrators do). They're a ghost, an entity, aka the camera of the characters.

But in this case, the narrator is in the show. Each plot has its own one, and that's what considered a god of their own nature.

I realized this from the security cameras and the memory storage of Brenner in Nina scenes. He was keeping and choosing which ones to show to El, aka choosing her path instead of her, which becomes clear in the show later on.

In Alaska, there was also security footage to which jopper had also access to later on.

As for California, they were also recorded/watched at some point. When? Right before the shooting.

The jokes about house arrest in this scene made me think the guards that were supposed to keep them same weren't just sitting, they were most likely recording the activity in the house due to protocol (at least i wanna believe it, considering Mike's house was anf might still be bugged since the end of s1 and the flashbacks in s2).

Also, in the van, they were most likely watched by El after she gained her powers.

And if all of these plots were watched by someone, then who was watching Hawkins?

Vecna.

I realized it from this video; vecna was legit searching for a source, another mind to curse in order to complete his plan.

The camera panning made me think he had access to anyone he wanted to. He could've chosen literally anyone in replacement of mike, but he went for Patrick instead.

Why? Because he knew he was in the same group with Lucas and Jason. As we saw, attacking Patrick triggered not just these two, but in total five people and the entire Hawkins team.

And became the wirters chose to plot wise.

My point is, the dynamics changed after his death, even in the slightest, bringing Lucas closer to max.

Now, because these gods are characters too, their own thoughts may interviene with what we see/ are shown, therefore leading everything back to homodiegetic or 1st person pov.

The main occupants here are Henry and of course, Brenner. Its like a domino effect, once brenner was watching one and now one is watching hawkins.

Their motives also beg to differ; Brenner was focusing more and only on logic, hence one disobeyed that rule and only relied on emotions, especially anger, to get his powers to their fullest potential, and thats what he also taught eleven.

But the main know it all god; The Mindflayer.

It literally watches everyone. Dustin said it himself:

A five star general that can open gates and watch. Tell us just His side of the story, messing with others memories, especially Wils, and everything related to him and el.

Aka, he can just change every detail he wants simply because he was watching.

Because his lenses were stronger than the other characters, and becuase he had and still has a devoted spy. A spy that can absorb information from inside.

And that spy is Will. even in season 4, even in the byler scenes, EVERYWHERE.

That kiiinda sounds like a hyperboly, but because the connection was there, it doesnt mean it was strong. The closer he got to hawkins, the stroger it got, thats why he felt him so intenesely at the cabin.

And here comes the unreliable narrator.

Most scenes are not shown excactly how things happen. Theyre not objective, theyre subjective, given how at least one persons pov is always involved.

This is also why there are a lot of variations of just one memory, why the void version of their timeline is slightly differrent, and why even though will saw mileven happy during the rinkomania skating scenes, an outsiders pov showed how they actually felt, dissapointed by everything.

One other thing id like to add, will MIGHT be playing the god role here too, taking in mind his ongoing connection with vecna and how this could eventually be displayed in vecnas mind if he wanted to. Hence the whole spy thing.

There was a post i read about El trading places with max and exchaging herself with a variant from another timeline, and that adds another layer to the unreliable narrator imo, thinking how the two days later el has different memories and knowledge than the el we knew from before and is now possibly dead.

The thing is, this unreliable narrator thing has SO many layers, and therfore shapes somewhat smalll plot holkes within scenes, especially in s1,2 and 4.

And it got even messier im 3 given hoe focusing solely on the mainstream 80's summer slasher movie vibe, some characters arcs were lost or outshined by others that had the chance to change their arcs for the better.

Yes, im talking about will who was sidelined a lot and then this was decided to be used as a weapon for the connection between him and the ud.

All the arcs are intertwined, but i CANT solve this untill we get s5. Its honestly frustrating like GIMME THE SOLUTION BRUHHHH

[doctorwhoisadhd]

so wait, since i was just reminded of the recorder thing donna talked about in the giggle, i now have a question for uk ppl: do yall learn the recorder in school? like in a music class? and like how much do yall have music class over there?

[sk3l3t0n444]

ok read all of the tags before coming at me

[babieken]

Oh my god....

Its kinda weird to celebrate this (bc his health situation must have been pretty severe) but SCOUPS IS REPORTEDLY EXCEPT FROM MILITARY SERVICE😭😭😭😭😭😭

[tender-rosiey]

Hiii! Ik your not taking req rn but I just wanna send this in for when you open them again.

Can I request a fic where the reader is aging (like the reader getting frail, their hair turning gray, getting tired more, body pain, ECT) and hein era sukuna begins to notice and worry about how death may be near for reader

Love your work btw you're like literally one of the best writers on here.💛

unspoken — ryomen sukuna x f!reader

a/n: hope this is what you had in mind! and thank you so much!! 💕💕💕 hope I never disappoint

sukuna stands by the window, a heavy silence settling around him as he observed the woman who had been his light, now dwindling in its glow.

it started subtly, almost imperceptibly.

one evening, as the two of you sat in the garden, the sun sinking low in the sky, you had reached for a blossom, your fingers trembling ever so slightly as you plucked it from its stem.

he had watched, a brow furrowing slightly, as you struggled to hold it, the delicate flower slipping through your fingers. he attributed it to a momentary lapse, perhaps just fatigue.

after all, you had always been full of life, a whirlwind of energy, dragging him along on your adventures with that irrepressible spirit.

but the signs multiplied.

the laughter that used to echo through the estate began to fade into soft chuckles and gentle sighs. your once-lively movements turned slower, more deliberate.

he had noted how you needed to lean against the wall for support when standing, how you paused frequently to catch your breath, and how, one day, he found you gazing out the window, lost in thought, your expression more wistful than joyful.

the vibrant sparkle in your eyes dimmed, and he felt a strange sensation twist in his chest—a feeling he couldn’t quite name, yet knew was significant.

the afternoon sun pours through the large windows, illuminating the room as you sit in your favorite chair, a once-majestic piece upholstered in soft velvet, now frayed and softened with age.

your hair is streaked with strands of silver, each one a testament to the years that fly by like petals on a breeze.

you look down at your hands, frail and delicate, the skin thin and almost transparent, betraying the strength you once possessed.

sukuna can hardly bear to look. the sound of your labored breaths echoes in the stillness, a painful reminder of how time is relentless in its march.

he kneels beside you, taking your hand in his. the once-familiar grip that sparked defiance in playful challenges now feels so fragile beneath his fingers.

“do you remember that time you insisted on teaching me how to make that ridiculous dessert?” he asks, his voice low and steady, the words heavy in the air. “you nearly burnt the kitchen down, laughing all the while.”

you smile, your eyes brightening for a fleeting moment, but the warmth fades quickly, the effort draining from you as you lean back, exhaustion washing over your features.

“of course. you were so terrible at it,” you reply softly, your voice a mere whisper.

sukuna feels an overwhelming surge of despair(?) welling within him.

but time was relentless, and the reality of your frailty loomed larger with each passing moment. days turned into weeks, and the garden began to wilt, mirroring the decay he saw in you.

the flowers you once tended to with such care now lay scattered and forgotten, just as he felt you were slipping away from him. each heartbeat echoed in his ears, a stark reminder of the life that flickered like a dying candle.

one that he can’t do anything to preserve, not even the strongest jujutsu could keep you here.

on a fateful evening, as the sun dips below the horizon, casting shadows that stretch long and mournful across the room, he holds you close.

you rest your head against his shoulder, a quiet comfort he has taken for granted in the past.

but now, he feels the fragility of your form, the way your body seems to melt into his, as if you are slipping through his fingers like grains of sand.

he presses his ear to your chest, straining to hear the steady rhythm of your heart. it is a sound he has always searched for—a reassurance of your existence.

but tonight, as he listens intently, he feels something shift. the thud of your heartbeat grows faint, as if the very essence of you is fading before his eyes.

“y/n?” he calls out, his voice barely a breath. but there is nothing. you are gone, and the empty space beside him keeps expanding.

sukuna remains still, cradling your form, holding onto you as if the sheer force of his will could bring you back. he can feel the warmth of your skin slipping away, the reality of your absence settling around him like a shroud.

he stays there, holding you until the moon rises high in the sky. the world around him fades into the background, and all that sukuna can decide is that if love was worthful, then you would’ve still been by his side.

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copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize

check out my buy me a coffee!

[mooishbeam]

『♡』 Rises the Moon

♡ featuring: dan heng IL x f!reader

♡ summary: you help dan heng work through his heat cycle wc: 3.1k+

♡ cw/tw: canon-divergent, breeding, praise, kinda sad but wholesome, monster-fucking, heat cycle, blowjob, cunnilingus, mentions of blood, biting

notes: super canon divergent ik vidyadhara can't have kids but ahhh dan heng breed brainrot :P ruahh I need that lc

Cracked from a shimmering pearl into the cold deception of a ship no longer home, that damned his ill-fated legacy. A lonely forgone dragon wanders a lifetime in purgatory, searching for hands to follow, for he was reborn into the dead silence of solitude. He stretched his inhuman heart as far as it could reach, enough for anyone to hold. But it twisted and tangled in thorns, cradled by serpents' eyes that prayed for his ruin. In brief moments of rest, his visions were suffocated with catastrophic destruction unbeknownst to the reincarnate. When he was eventually released, no one turned for him; a trail of fire he would have to walk alone, bleeding for repentance until his sin was permanently consumed by the collapsing universe.  

A race cursed to live forever rarely knew joy or love to its full extent, as all things mortal would return to the ground beneath them. It wasn’t worth the attachment, nor the deserved doom of a man denied salvation. 

Your arrival at the space station upturned his perception. He wasn’t sure why he yearned to be near you, why his senses craved your smell and sight. He had to distance himself from you as much as possible, but the melody of your pure voice stored a rhythm in his core that could not be removed. He lamented the blooming affection in his discernment. Often lying awake at night, struggling to satiate the urges. 

To you, he was Dan Heng. The solemn, headstrong friend that seldom spoke in your presence. Your favorite pastime was playful banter; he rarely smiled, but it pulled at your heartstrings when the corners of his lips slightly lifted. When he picked at his food, you went out of your way to find out what he preferred and arranged your meals around his. You spent almost all of your time on the parlor car. That isn’t to say you weren’t interested in adventuring, you frequently noted the prettiest gems March showed you during their trips. You asked Dan about the stuff he enjoyed, but it’d usually amount to “I was too focused on staying alive to take in the scenery.” You recall entering your room after their return and noticed an iron scrap flower sitting on your windowsill. Dan nonchalantly admitted to the act, mentioning how he overheard your liking for metallic constructs. You originally thought this was simply an extension of your friendship, but the burning ache in your body spoke otherwise. The little things he did, such as bringing small gifts or ingredients for you to experiment with made you seek that numbed heart, imprisoned in ice. 

Himeko joked about your sour mood whenever Dan Heng was gone. You read while she stared at you, amused by the pout on your face. “Hmm, your boy toy is missing. Feeling down?” Your head shot up, ears hot from the assumption.  

“W-what? No, of course not. We’re friends, Himeko.” you panicked. She softly giggled. 

“Don’t worry. They’re coming back soon.” You peeked up from the pages. 

“...When?” you mumbled. “A few days. Now you can stop being so sad.” 

You were ecstatic when they arrived, ready to hear about their grueling journey, and more so happy to see Dan Heng. As March relived her storytelling, you observed him. He seemed to be in a trance. His expression was the same as always, but he felt disconnected from you, like he discerned a grim future. He didn’t come to dinner and went to sleep. When you asked March if something happened, she shifted uncomfortably but finally spoke.  

“Dan Heng...he changed on the Xianzhou Luofu.” She’d conveniently left out most of the story. 

“What do you mean ‘changed’?” you questioned, finding it hard to mask your worries. “He had horns and... It was all really new. I kinda wanna forget about it, too.” You didn’t pressure her for more information, and she went to her room shortly after.  You tossed in your sleep, wondering what he must’ve gone through, and what you could do to help him. 

You awoke in an inky blue void, the stars cascading a brilliant aura across the night. There were no other planets visible; only the vast moon, a divinely warm glow, alluring and protective in your gaze. Heavenly bodies carried infinitely above, shaping the moon in its godlike image. You stood in a comparatively small pool of iridescent liquid that waterfalled off each side. It marbled from refracted shimmers, cool to the touch. Somehow life emerged in the barren quiet, white lotus’ decorating most of the area. They never spilled down the stream, as if they'd been waiting. In said pool, was a man with elvish ears and gleaming horns, kneeling turned away from you. His pale arms were shackled behind him, and his delicate hair cascaded down his naked back. If you listened closely, you could hear the faint sobs he tried to stifle. You wanted to comfort him, to calm his nerves. You took a step, and he stopped. He didn’t acknowledge you. You took another step, your hand wishing to touch him. Before you could, you phased out of your dream.  

For the next two weeks, he didn’t leave his room. Not when you were around. At the same time, this reoccurring dream was plaguing your thoughts. It ended the same way each time. March aimed to console you, but you felt she knew more than she led on. Fatigued from your restless mind, you decide to talk to Himeko instead. She stirs her drink while Welt reads the paper. 

“Good morning, (Y/N).” said Welt. 

“Good...morning.” you yawned, rubbing your worsening eyebags. 

“You don’t seem okay. Is everything alright?” Himeko asks, motioning for you to sit beside her. 

“Something is wrong with Dan Heng and March isn’t telling me everything. I was hoping you would.” Welt clears his throat, sets the paper on the table and walks away. Himeko puts her hand on your knee. 

“He’s feeling unwell right now. It’s best we don’t disturb him.” 

“I’ve been having this weird dream, of a guy with horns. He’s crying. And I can’t save him. What does this mean? Why is everyone keeping this from me?” Alarm flashes in her expression, but she composes herself. She sucks in a deep breath. “Do you know what a Vidyadhara is?”  

“No.” 

“Vidyadhara descended from dragons, and they’re very powerful. Dan Heng is a special case of Vidyadhara, so we must treat him as such.” 

“So why can’t I see him?”  

“It’s important that we avoid him while he’s in the process of...getting through this.” 

“But someone has to check on him, right? I could be the one to do it-” 

“(Y/N). Dan Heng requested specifically, that I don’t allow you to see him.” You felt your heart pierce. You believed you were friends with him, so why was he forcing you away? “Oh. Okay.” you said meekly. You went back to your room to contemplate. 

 You were a ghost throughout the day, serving food in silence. When the crew went to bed you prepared a hearty soup to soothe whatever illness he had. He’d probably reject it, but the selfish side wanted to know why he was upset with you. Even if he didn’t have an answer, perhaps his voice would be adequate. Arriving at his door, you knock twice gently. 

“I have some soup for you. Himeko said you were feeling ill. I won’t disrupt you, just want to make sure you’re eating.” He said nothing. “If you’re not hungry, let me know and I can store it for tomorrow. You can’t get better on an empty stomach.” You hear rustling inside, but he still said nothing. 

“Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry if I did.” 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, but I need you to go away.” His voice is feeble, and it scares you. 

“Can I please leave this on your desk? I’ll go away right after, I promise.” You 're practically begging, but you need to see him and know he’s okay. Dan Heng’s weakening mindset rationalizes his risky judgement, and he allows you to come in. He should be able to defend you from himself with the strength he has left; there’s no other choice. “Okay.” 

When you open the door, you’re horrified at the state. Books and precious documents were strewn across the floor or shredded, along with most of the blankets. He’s hunched over on the futon clenching his abdomen, strands of hair sticking to his shiny forehead and puffy lips. He was in a form you've never seen, dressed in elegance in contrast to his shaking figure. The clothes were disheveled, however, the window on his top ripped down the middle, exposing the muscular torso underneath with his pants pulled just under his v-line. He's flushed and sweating, a look in his eyes that both terrifies and excites you. What was most shocking were the pointy ears and horns protruding from his head. The same ones from your dream. He tracks you as you walk to his desk. He’s undoubtedly weak, and yet you feel hunted. You set the soup down. 

“Shouldn’t you ask Bailu about this?” 

“I did already. There’s nothing she can do. I have to wait.” You get on your knees next to him, and he recoils from your proximity. 

“Wait for what?” 

“I'm hot all over, all the time. Nothing I do works, even when I feel good it’s not enough.” he rasps. His eyes are shut in an attempt to null the intense sensation blazing in his veins. You ultimately realize what he means and regret your cluelessness. Still, you don’t leave, deconstructing his resolve. Suddenly, Dan Heng feels the tender press of your palm to his forehead; the touch of someone he could recognize in different timelines and different bodies. The scent of morning dew at early sunrise, the light in its darkness, bitter and sweet and persistent. He punished the thought of ravaging you, but the incessant thump of his member was staggering. He grabs your wrist tight, a guilty look in his eyes. 

“I can’t control myself. Go. Now” he shouts. His anger doesn’t scare you, and your other hand caresses his cheek. 

“Does it hurt? I can help you.” Dan Heng’s frozen as your fingers travel down his Adam's apple, then his chest, to the hem of his bottoms. He’s on his back taking deep labored breaths, the print growing from your airy brushes. 

“I don’t want you to be in pain anymore.” 

You spring his cock free, and it bounces into your hand. It’s thick and almost twelve inches, a rosy-brown gradient to the mushroom tip. His veins dance around the rounded spikes lining up his shaft on both sides. A frustrated sigh leaves him, beads of pre come dripping down his balls. You lubricate your hands with his slick and start to slowly pump him. His head is spinning, the intoxicating ecstasy makes him rut his hips and bite his blushed lips. You fondle his balls with one hand while massaging the tip with the other. Whimpers echo pleasantly in your ears, and he can’t stop watching you, drinking up your shy glances. It twitches in your hold; you can feel how close he is. He’s falling apart because of you and your dampened underwear accepts it. You push your thumb in his mouth and part it to reveal excessive drool and sharp canines.  

“Do you like it?” you tease. He makes noise resembling an “uh huh” through teary eyes. 

“You wanna come?” He quivers from the question. He can only manage a moan. You move to his base, and you slaver at the daunting size before running your tongue along the urethra and taking him in your mouth. He throws his head back but tries to restrain himself from bucking into you. You can barely get it halfway as his cockhead kisses the back of your throat. You hollow your cheeks and start bobbing your head, he trembles from unconstrained pleasure.  

“Please, I’ll do anything please let me come” he whines, tears spilling down his cheeks. You move your hands with the suction along his gradually noisy whimpers, the occasional gag from sloppy grinding. 

“Ah, ‘m gonna come-” he chokes, his chest hitched rapidly, spurting ropes that flood your throat. He rides the wave against you until you pull up. When you meet with him again, his demeanor changes. He instantly snatches you into his arms and smothers his nose in your stomach. He tears your clothes off impatiently, just to taste your bare skin. “Dan-” 

“You smell so good. Aeons, why do you smell so good.” He gazes at you darkly, littering wet kisses across your stomach and chest. His slender hands grope and explore anything they can reach. It was like he had a burst of energy; he nearly lifts you off his lap. You notice his horns get progressively longer, a dim radiance outlining them. His nails grew too, they dragged light scratches over your breasts to your hips. He pulls you to him, lips barely hovering before they collide into a deep, passionate exchange. Unspoken words allow teeth and tongue to mix, and you moan into each other. The pheromones hugging his consciousness are addictive, he needs more of it. He promptly flips you on your back, his eyes look down on you with a starving glint. 

“I’m hungry now.” 

“Oh sure, I can warm up the-” 

“No. Let me eat you.” His statement was more of a demand than a request, as he mangles your panties down your legs. He forces your thighs back and appreciates the glistening sticky folds. “Stunning” he purrs. He licks a flat strip to your clit and laps up your juices, then envelops his mouth in your heat. His firm squeeze prevents you from escaping the determined pink muscle, swirling and twisting around you. He switches between French kisses to your vulva and merciless sucking on the erect bud. He’d rather drown in you than catch his breath, your essence covers his jaw and chin. You card your fingers through his scalp and accidentally sweep his horns; he shudders. You rub the pad of your thumb on it, earning a strangled whimper. His tongue sinks into your passage and begins to move at a brutal pace. You tease the sensitivity in his horns, flicking and circling them. The vibrations from his moans rock against your walls and your hips stutter. “Ah- I’m close” you plead. He stimulates your clit, and you pulse around him before your back arches, and you unwind. His mouth is stitched to you as you try to wriggle out of his grasp. He continues to devour your climax. He hoists your lower half off the ground, savoring your honeyed desire, laughing from your overstimulated cries. You’re spasming and feel your heart racing in your ears. He stops at the approaching precipice and lays you down. Balmy kisses dot your knees. 

“Please Dan Heng, more” you beg. 

“(Y/N), I don’t want to hurt you.” He's throbbing, and he straightens your legs to roll his hips between your thighs. The plush fat cuddles his cock and he pants. You grab his hand. 

“It’s okay, I’m yours. I know you don’t mean to hurt me.” 

“But-” 

“I love you” you blurt out. “Please, I want to have this with you. I can handle it, I promise.” Your vulnerability surprises you, and he stops. 

“You...love me?” he questions. For a split second, you see sadness and despair. No one stood to consider an exile incapable of love, but you did. No one bothered to defrost the drifting hollow, but you did. The undying weeps. 

“I love you. I would destroy every star and planet in your name. Carve your worth into the cosmos so that even Fuli could worship your memory. I am yours in its entirety, and I’ll only live for you.” You wipe the tears as they come down and kiss his troubles away. 

“I want you inside me” you whisper. He stands and scoops you up, his hands on your ass and your arms around his neck. He aligns his tip with your sex and lowers you into the plunge. The stretching blaze of your walls accommodating his girth is excruciating.  

“Is this okay?” 

“Yes.” You give him a reassuring smile. He’s stuffing you full, the spikes knead your inner walls the deeper he goes. He bottoms out and stays there for a while. 

“Tell me when to move” he soothes. 

“Go ahead.” He starts an unrelenting tempo, and you grip him like a vice, your arousal drenching his balls. The thundering sound of desperate huffs and squelching, smacking flesh is almost embarrassing; you both don’t care, indulging each other. You could’ve sworn you saw something similar to a dragon's tail swaying behind him, or maybe your mind played tricks on you. Strings of saliva connect his fangs, eyes cloudy with carnal impulse and cock twitching from the friction. He can see the bulge snapping in and out of your stomach and groans.  

“Deeper.” He pulls out and lays you on the futon before positioning you in a mating press. In one swoop he jackhammers your cunt, balls swinging and ragged breath on your ear. His hair blankets you and you soak in his sweating physique, his needy appearance. 

“Gonna breed this pretty pussy” he moans. Eyeing the unoccupied space on your neck, he salivates. You guide his lips to your neck, encouraging him, and he takes the bait. He ruptures the skin with sharp teeth; harsh puncture wounds remain. He licks the blood away, adamant on claiming you. The spikes massage your g-spot, and your eyes loll back, pleasure and pain blurring. Dan Heng loses his composure, frenetic thrusting as he chases his release. 

“I’m gonna come!” 

“That’s it, come with me, my love” he groans. You see black as tremors overtake you and a stream of squirt coats you both. Your wails flow into the halls. Your contracting vulva sends him over the edge, and he finally comes undone, painting your insides to the hilt. You milk every last drop of his gushing seed, and he jerks a few times until limp. The creamy, swelling base pushes your folds to capacity. It's barbed wire in your gut. He strokes and kisses your face. 

“I'm sorry, it’ll go down soon.” With your legs wrapped around him and his head snug against your cheek, you weren’t sure if you wanted it to go down. 

His curse may not be lifted through your embrace. But in your arms, his shackles don't feel as heavy. 

[aventurineswife]

So I got myself sucked to lost media rabbit hole, especially lostwave. So imagine, reader once make music but stopped because they either busy or just want to take a break from making music. And one day the character somehow get a clip of their music video but only for 20 second of it, but that 20 second definitely hit the spot. And so the hunt of lost media begun. It would be even more perfect when reader make these music at 2010-2014, the song is pretty old but that doesn't mean they would give in like that.

Sorry for yapping, just had this idea crossed my mind out of the blue. Lost media fascinate me since there's soo many good content but it lost :(

HELP?! WHY DO PEOPLE LOVE THIS AU SO MUCH?! 😭��� LIKE IK ITS GOOD AND ALL BUT OMG-

It begins as a whisper.

The first time one of the characters hears the faintest trace of your music—an old track they never knew existed—something unsettles them.

March 7th finds an ancient clip while casually browsing through some files she stumbled upon. It's barely 20 seconds long, fuzzy and grainy, almost like it's been hidden away on the internet for years, untouched by time. The footage is barely enough to recognize, but the music? The song? It hits different.

The sound is distinctly your style, laced with melancholy and nostalgia, but it’s from a different time, a time they didn't know you existed in.

Welt is intrigued by the song’s complexity. He immediately starts analyzing the structure, the style, the instruments. “This feels like something from the early 2010s, but with such… an unusual vibe.”

Himeko is more emotional. “There’s something haunting about this. Like it’s pulling at a part of us that we didn’t even know was there.”

They both agree: the song has to be part of your lost history. You, their mysterious Creator, must have made it before becoming so busy or stepping back from the world.

Blade is silent for an uncomfortably long time after hearing the song. It seems to evoke something deep within him—something personal.

Dan Heng watches him, sensing Blade’s sudden vulnerability. He, too, finds himself drawn into the music. The melancholy and rawness of the sound tug at something deep inside him, though he can’t place it.

They decide that the 20 seconds of your music isn’t enough. They want more. They need more.

Aventurine immediately gets obsessed. “Do you hear that? That’s the sound of our Creator’s soul, calling out from the past. We must find it!”

Sunday takes a different approach. He starts delving into ancient records, combing through anything he can find about you, trying to understand what this music means. To him, this is no longer a song—it’s a divine relic. "This is a sign! We must reclaim our Creator’s lost art!"

Both of them begin searching everywhere for any trace of the missing music, becoming obsessed with the idea of uncovering your lost creations.

Kafka smirks at the sound, recognizing the haunting undertones. "This is definitely a piece of your past, isn’t it?"

Black Swan agrees. “There’s an unmistakable sadness to it. They’ve hidden it for a reason. But why? What made them stop?”

They both turn inward, wondering what you went through to stop creating, to step back from making music. But they can’t ignore that the music is still a part of you—they want to find the rest of it, to reconnect with the “artist” behind the music.

Luocha listens quietly, feeling the melancholy in every note. "It’s almost like a dream, fading away with time."

Jing Yuan, always curious, notes, “This song… it’s old. But the way it feels—almost as if it were made just for us.”

The two of them decide that the song might hold clues about your past, and with that, they set off on a personal quest to recover the lost music. They search for anything that might lead them to more pieces.

Characters begin digging deep into old files, secret music vaults, archives, and obscure corners of the universe. The hunt for the lost music intensifies.

Every lead seems to go nowhere, but every time they find something—whether it’s an old video link or a half-deleted file—it’s like a spark of hope ignites. They keep digging, convinced that you—the enigmatic Creator—are still out there, waiting for them to rediscover your music.

And then it happens. They find a full video, a full song. Or maybe just another short clip. It’s old, but it’s yours.

The world falls silent. The moment they hear it, they know. This is you. This is the music you created.

But now the real question emerges: Why did you stop? Why did you hide it?

They now obsess over every note in the song, the subtle melodies, the emotions that drip from each lyric.

Blade & Dan Heng? They are absolutely smitten with this lost piece of your soul, so much so that they start debating what it means to your identity.

Aventurine & Sunday? They go as far as to frame the clip, treating it like a sacred relic, while constantly talking about how “they knew you had this hidden talent.”

Kafka & Black Swan? They can’t stop wondering if this song holds more than just music. Could this be a message? Something you wanted to share with them, even though you never fully revealed yourself?

Eventually, the search for the rest of your lostwave music becomes a personal journey for each character.

Some believe the rest is out there, waiting to be found. Others begin to accept the mystery, considering that the music might remain lost forever. But deep down, they know that one day—if you ever decide to return to the world of music—you'll reveal yourself again. And they'll be ready.

Sigh, 😞 how tf...

[lotus-pear]

YAAAAAYYYY ITS FINALLY HERE!!! ty guys sm again for 5k i rly appreciate it <3

rules and guidelines under the cut!

rules and due date (i've never done this before so bear w me ok!!):

-due date will be march 1st! i will accept entries a few days late dw i'm nor ur professor or smth BUT I WOULD RLY PREFER IF U GET IT DONE BY THEN (just dm me if u need more time)

-pls tag ur finished piece under #lotuspear5kdtiys and dont forget to mention my user @lotus-pear! if i neglect to reblog ur piece then pls lmk even though that probably won't happen bc i'll be checking that tag every day for new entries👹

-pls don't trace the art.. i'll be really sad if u do that :(((( if u need help at all w the posing or hands then shoot me an ask or weed ur way into my dms bc ik this is kind of a complicated piece

-anyone can participate!! u don't have to be following me or anything and it's fine if we've never interacted before

-colors and expression are completely flexible and i'd even encourage playing around w it since the final product isn't meant to mimic my style. if u can then pls try to keep the pose relatively similar although i don't mind if it's changed a little bit. whatever is most comfortable to u as the artist.

-if u guys want to see the piece without any shading or rendering then pls dm me, ik it might be easier for some ppl to just see the bare sketch or the lineart w base colors

prizes🤩 (ik this is what u guys are rly after /j):

-alr so ik everybody's all like "well what's in this for me🤨" oh my god if u would just let me explain 😐 i'll be choosing three winners and two honorable mentions amongst all the contestants

-the top three winners get a follow (yea ok kinda sucky but wtv) AND they get to commission a fully rendered piece from me of a single character of their choice for free >:) (i'll discuss the details w the winners in two months)

-the two runner ups will also get a follow from me AND they get to commission a sketch of a single character from me (again, i'll discuss what this entails in further detail when the honorable mentions are selected in two months)

————

ermmm yea i think thats it for now i'll come back and edit the post if i feel the need to add anything.. HAVE FUN GUYS I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT U GUYS DO🫶🏼🫶🏼

[midnightshindig]

ik its cliche, but enemies to lovers with cecil? remember to go easy on yourself! 😊

Cecil x Gn!Reader

I looooove enemies to readers, thank you for the request!!

this ended up being more annoying reader x annoyed Cecil BUT I still like it ^^;

Hcs under the cut!

Cecil doesn't believe in letting Talent go to waste

So when an alien humanoid spy seduces and almost takes down the GotG from the inside out, he's intrigued

But to be fair, it isn't hard to get past Rex.

Watching you disarm Rudy, Amanda, Zandale, and even Rae though? was impressive

So you ended up in his care, being slowly re-educated on Earth customs

Cecil was sure that, at the very least, you could provide good information on your home planet

What he wasn't expecting was your attempt to break out to go so well

He gets a call at like four in the morning that you've escaped your cell, and are currently awol

Shit.

What surprises him is when he sees you at a work event two weeks later, on the arm of some clueless big wig

"Ohhhhh Renold, you're soooo funny!"

He's showing you off like some pet

Cecil marches over and grabs you by the arm, dragging you into a private room at the event

"What the hell are you doing?! You escape and you're already trying to infiltrate us?" He slams you by the shoulder into the ornate wallpaper, he's trying to be intimidating

It isn't working.

You raise an eyebrow, pursing your lips at him

"Maybe I just wanted to see you <3" You wink, catching him just off guard enough for your to slip his grasp, escaping into the door next to you and out through a window.

Damn, you're good.

The next few months of Cecil's life are like this: a sick cat-and-mouse game in which you continually try different ways to espionage your way into government ranks.

Every time he personally catches you, like you want him to, and you're so quick with the comments:

"Uh oh, you caught me, you gonna lock me up?"

"Cecil! Baby it's been too long, lemme take these files and we'll get coffee sometime"

"Yknow that tie really does something for you, did you cut your hair?"

"Is that a state-issued walkie-talkie in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"

it's driving him crazy.

It culminates when finally Cecil catches you again, as you're handcuffed and he's personally interrogating you

you've been getting under his skin

and he's so fucking tired of seeing you in those revealing clothes, trying to shmooze your way into international secrets.

What was your angle? What did you want? You had to know the flirting wasn't going to work on him?

Well hell, if you did you certainly didn't show it

"haiiiii <3" You smiled sweetly as Cecil walked into the room, stoic as ever

He took a seat across from you, ignoring when your heel knocked his loafer

"You're being charged with espionage and fraud, as well as failure to self-report upon arrival to Earth, and, of course, breaking out of prison."

"My my, that sounds serious!" You were fucking with him

Cecil scowled "Who the hell are you and what do you want?"

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!" Your awful impression made Cecil's eye twitch

"I'm being fucking serious, y/n. I can have you put away somewhere higher capacity, highest security, somewhere even you won't escape from."

You leaned forward, resting your head on your flat palms, propping onto the table "As long as I get to see you, Cecil-Weasel" you stuck your tongue out with a flirty wink

He stood up, slamming his hands on the table "DAMNIT- ugh- fuck. What." he stared you down, bubbling as he spoke "What do you want?"

You sighed, phasing through the handcuffs and walking freely around the room

He didn't know you could do that.

Could you do that the whole time? Why? Why bother with the infiltration?

"I want something to do, my home planet sent me here to assess your protectors, and we suuuuuuuck, you guys are actually kind of great" Your voice was bored, if not grated

Cecil watched as you sat on the table, crossing your legs with pizzaz

"But my boss is a dickhead and doesn't believe me, sooooo I'm stuck here until they try and invade, lose-- because our only powers are Danny fucking Phantom-- and then finally get to go back home when they fail."

You admired your nails before glancing at Cecil. "So now, I'm just an alien trying to have some fun while I'm here."

Cecil just blinked

an alien invasion? But you seemed confident they would fail spectacularly, was this part of the ploy? What were you playing at?

"So... if you could phase through things, why bother with the kiss-ass and roleplay? Surely there are more entertaining things than that." He folded his arms, choosing to pick his battles about your lack of containment.

You sighed, twirling your hand at the wrist as you spoke "Yeahhh, it's whatever. Maybe I just wanted to see you, piss you off. I mean, don't get me wrong, you're just as much of a dick as my boss, but-" you leaned back on your arms, scanning him up and down "you're pretty cute for a human."

Cecil could feel his face burn red

But he had decades of practice on keeping his composure and maintained it well

"Okay, I'll make you a deal."

"oh I love deals."

"Quiet." he sighed "You work for me--"

"Oh goodie." your dry voice cut through

"Quieeeet..." Cecil hissed, before continuing "You work for me, I give you entertaining jobs, you're on a short leash but you're not being hunted like an animal. In exchange, you get an apartment, a little bit of money, and-"

"I want you to take me for an Earth date. I've been told they're supposed to be fun, but the ones I've been on have been quite miserable." You tilted your head dryly, not a hint of sarcasm or humor in your voice

What the fuck is your deal?

"Um. Okay? So you agree."

You stand up, motioning to shake his hand, before kissing the back of it "Mhm ^^"

Cecil is a grown ass man

The head of the GDA

And here he is with a cute alien across from him drinking a frappuccino with whipped cream

God damn. He had to hand it to you, he'd been hustled.

But I mean, fuck, he couldn't even be that mad about it?

Like, okay. Yeah, you're cute and pretty, and whatever, sure.

But this is just for national security.

Him paying the check and holding your hand is just for discretion to not draw attention

Him walking you to your new apartment instead of teleporting is just to stay in character

When you give him a cheeky kiss before smiling at him and running inside your apartment, it's just to hold up pretenses for your neighbors.

Right?

But, then you demand to see him again, once for every mission you accomplish. And a sick ritual forms

He's going for the good of the world and to be as prepared for this alien invasion as possible

But he kinda enjoys the break from work

You complete a mission, and Cecil takes you out, that's the new deal

an unspoken one that quickly roots itself in both your lives

The movies, roller skating, public gardens, and all the things about Earth made it exciting.

He finds himself looking forward to these outings

You seem so fascinated with it all, so genuinely pleased to be there and to be around him

Sure, you're coy and snide and a flirt, but you're refreshingly genuine when it counts

And Cecil starts doubting if he can keep up with this

"Yknow...." you trail off, a paper pamphlet detailing the walking trail for the Bronx Zoo. "This is like our tenth date and you still haven't kissed me yet."

Cecil just about chokes on his zoo themed water from his lion shaped cup

"What."

"Yknow!" you roll your eyes and fold your arms, pamphlet tucked under your armpit "Even on my home planet you would've made a move by now, I'm starting to get offended."

Cecil's shocked "You know this is just so you'll do your job, right? Y/n this is so that you stop terrorizing and colluding with governmental officials, not because I enjoy playing high school sweethearts with you!" he's frustrated, made all the worse by the fact he is enjoying himself

You stare at him for a moment, before shrugging "Whatever man." it's harsh, almost calloused. What he said really bothered you "You don't wanna admit it, sure, fuck it."

You stomp off, and the rest of the date is tense as hell

Cecil has to grapple with what he wants to do, to like actually make a move or to keep up this infuriating charade

and fuck are you infuriating.

As you're standing against the door to your apartment, Cecil devices to just embrace the 2000s romance anime cringe of it all and kiss you

It's magical (for you) and pretty enjoyable (for him)

and when he backs up, you've got this shit eating grin on your face

cocky bitch

Cecil raises an unimpressed eyebrow, watching as you smile wider and phase through your door

he's all "okay at least that's over" before he hears the door unlock

"Come onnnn! Come in come in!"

and so he does, promptly entering your apartment for the first time

It's nice.

you've decorated it in a surprisingly mature manner, it's definitely you, but it has a charm to it

"Cmon, make yourself at home, get comfortable."

and he did

Maybe. ugh. Cecil groaned at the improbability and romcom nature of his thoughts

but maybe

ewwww okay seriously this is so fluffy and too emotional for Cecil-

his doubts cleared when you came back into the room with a coffee tray and a pack of cards

"I got you a black coffee, and I want you to teach me how to play your human card games. I see the guys at HQ play them and I want to know how"

Cecil settled into your couch with a familiar ease, taking in the scene

Maybe you weren't so bad after all

[cloudcountry]

Yooooooo happy to see that field of mistria are making you happy ^-^ i'd like to request reader helping march dye his hair ( lots of bickering and threatening to turn him pink instead ) but since ik you don't really like him and might not feel inspired here's another idea ( choose whichever one you feel most comfortable writing for ) how about flower picking with Celine :)

SUMMARY: when the saturday market can't come to town, you offer to help march dye his hair instead

COMMENTS: no pls wifey im very much joking w you i like march :(( hes just a bitch and im going to stab him. with a plastic sword. gently.

i dont have dividers so i am recycling my header ITS FINE DONT WORRY ABOUT IT

“Ow, would you quit pulling my hair like that?” March groans, shooting you a dirty look over his shoulder, “For all that skill you claim to have you don’t act—”

“Oh will you hush?” you huff, gently tugging on a handful of March’s hair on purpose, “If you stopped squirming and whining, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad!”

He grumbles something under his breath that you don’t catch, but you’re far too busy sectioning off his surprisingly thick hair to prepare for the (tacky) bright red hair dye.

“Why the fuck is your hair so thick?” you comment, very much amused.

“Oh shut up.” March snaps, “If I could reach back there and grab a fistful of your hair to yank around I would, you little—”

You click your tongue, interrupting him once again. “Worry about yourself, March. Wouldn’t want my hand to slip and for you to end up with pink hair, now would we?”

He grumbles again, and you giggle.

It occurs to you that, if anyone were to overhear this conversation, they’d assume you and the blacksmith were a hair’s breath away from killing each other.

You pat yourself on the back for the winning pun you just made. Holt would be proud.

“Oi, I can feel your smugness from here. Whatever you’re thinking about, it’s making me sick.”

“I was just thinking about you.” you comment offhandedly, snatching up the bottle of dye flippantly, “You must be pretty awful if you make yourself sick.”

“Don’t say shit like that, it’s weird.” he crosses his arms in his chest and sinks into the chair, his back hunched as if trying to make himself smaller.

You wonder why he’s shriveling up now. Normally he'd return your scathing insult.

Instead of asking, you opt not to. You pop the cap off the dye bottle and start applying it to his scalp, massaging it into the roots. You try not to feel smug about the way March so obviously relaxes, shoulders dropping and head falling into your touch, his breathing shifting from frustrated to calm.

You also try not to feel warm about the way he looks right now, vulnerable and soft, you try not to think about how it’s just the two of you here, with his brother who knows where, and you try not to think about the very tempting open space of his forehead, which is finally not all wrinkly for once.

You don’t want to smooth over those wrinkles with your thumb at all. And you certainly do not want to kiss them after a hard day’s work.

Even when he’s sweaty.

Especially when he’s sweaty.

You cough loudly into your arm, trying your best not to squirm where you’re standing, lest you mess up March’s hair.

Fully expecting him to turn around and scold you for ruining the moment, you’re surprised when he doesn’t move.

“You’re such a weirdo.” he says, but his voice his soft and there’s no real bite to them.

The smile that threatens to burst out of you is barely held back by your desire to keep the solemn, dare you say affectionate atmosphere going.

“So are you.” you reply, and your voice is equally as soft.

March snorts, and if you didn’t know any better you’d say it was a genuine laugh.

[keyotos]

kiss the girl

summary ⎯ five times dan heng has thought about kissing you, and the one time he actually does.

tana's words ⎯ i've been recently listening to kiss the girl (ashley tisdale version) and its cute and made me think of dan heng. and idk if this follows canon story or not bc im not at xianzhou yet lolz.

also ik the title says 'kiss the girl' but that's only bc i was listening to the song. reader is gender neutral.

tags ⎯ friends to lovers. pining i think. hurt and comfort (at the end). flustered dan heng. fluff i think.

THE FIRST TIME dan heng thinks about kissing you, he immediately pushes away the thought. it was out of character; it was outrageous for him to think of a friend that way. it made him feel perverted for even thinking of the action.

it was a sunny day. you two (plus march and stelle) were in belobog at the time and you guys were witnessing bronya's speech. all of you agreed the speech was marvelous, and you all felt a sense of pride for bronya.

your eyes were sparkling in the sun as you watched bronya speak, and dan heng couldn't help but become enamoured by your face. he looked away from his paper to peek at your awed expression.

at that moment, dan heng thought you were the most beautiful person he's ever seen. but he can't think that. he cannot. not only were you a fellow trailblazer, but you were also his friend. he couldn't risk one of his greatest friendships over something as minimal as this.

so, he pushed the thought out of his brain. he thought that it would be gone forever, but he was deeply wrong.

THE SECOND TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you occured while you two were gazing in the astral express. by this time, you two have left belobog, and are awaiting your next journey.

you chose to pass the time by 'star-watching,' a new term you created as a substitute to cloud watching. the activity is similar to cloud watching as you point out shapes that make beings.

dan heng told you that you were just pointing out constellations, you said that you wanted to pass on the technicalities.

so now, you two were star-watching. you kept pointing out absurd patterns, such as, "this one looks like svarog," (it did not) and, "this one looks like balls." of course, none of the constellations looked like either of the comparisons (dan heng was thinking about taking you to the eye doctor), but dan heng played along anyway. anything to make you smile.

at one point, the absurdities stopped, and you began pointing out real constellations. so many beautiful creations in the sky, yet the real beautiful thing was right next to him, continuously pointing out constellations.

you rested your head on your hand, mindlessly gazing out at the empty field of stars in front of you, "it's beautiful."

"yeah," dan heng mindlessly replies, not even realizing what he's just said, "it is," he finally says, looking at you.

maybe it's the light from the stars hitting your face, or maybe it was just your radiant beauty, but the urge to kiss you came up once again. subconsciously, dan heng knew the feeling would arise sooner or later. but that didn't mean he liked the feeling.

he wants to preserve your friendship so bad; but sometimes, the line drawn alongside friendship and love begins to thin. sometimes, the line gets so thin that dan heng fears that he'll trip and fall into you.

THE THIRD TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you was when you two were hanging out in his room. over the span of months, dan heng has learned to appreciate your being, and sometimes (he will never admit this) he feels calmer around you.

usually, dan heng didn't let other people be in his room, but it was different with you. for some reason, he liked it when you were in his room. sometimes, he finds himself wanting you to be in his room.

he was quietly sorting through his data bank while you were reading. it was such a calm and quiet moment; dan heng felt peace for once. there was music playing softly in the back, the room was silent, and the air was just right. it felt nice.

dan heng was too tuned into his data bank that he didn't hear footsteps coming up closer to him. it was only when he turned his head to check on you, that dan heng noticed you were right next to him.

you were right next to him, head nearly leaning on his shoulder, and you were so close to him. dan heng's heart was about to beat out of his chest, and he began to worry about the warmth that was rapidly spreading to his neck.

when you noticed dan heng's reaction, you thought you'd surprised him. you moved a little bit back, "sorry, did i scare you?"

"no, not at all. i was just a little startled," dan heng replied while rubbing the back of his (reddening) neck.

"that's like, the same thing as scared," you gave a low chuckle and moved closer to him once again, "you would know this."

"dunno," dan heng paused, "maybe i was too frightened to remember." when you laughed at that, dan heng swore he blushed all the way up to his ears.

"you are not funny," you gave him a slight shove that didn't really affect him. you leaned closer into the database, "what are you doing?"

you didn't realize how close you were to dan heng, your faces nearly touching. you were scrolling around his data bank while dan heng was trying to hide his rampant blush from your eyes.

dan heng stared at you while you browsed, taking in your close presence. you didn't seem nearly as tense as he did. you were relaxed, comfortable, you leaned into him. dan heng found himself staring longer than normal.

then, the thought, came in. the same recurring thought he'd been having for a long time: the thought to kiss you. he wanted to take you by the hands and pull you closer to him. he wanted to feel your palms and he wanted to feel you closer to him.

and this is the moment were dan heng realizes that he wants to be more than friends. dan heng realizes that he likes you; he wants you to be with him, he wants to feel you by his side. he wants endless star-watching nights; he wants to see you constantly.

and that is dangerous. not only would that ruin your friendship, but it would also endanger you. there's so much that would put you at risk.

"you should go back to your room," dan heng puts a gentle hand on your shoulder, causing you to look back up at him. your confused expression almost shatters dan heng's resilience, but he goes on, "it's late. go get some rest."

you keep the hand on your shoulder, "you too. don't stay up too late, okay?" the soft tone of your voice makes dan heng melt, and he almost wants to pull you back and ask you to stay. almost.

dan heng nods and you leave. he leans back on his desk and puts his head in his hands. what is he going to do?

THE FOURTH TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you was the night you arrived in the xianzhou. you (and march and stelle) were exploring the city and it's wonders while dan heng was treading carefully behind you.

you haven't had a full conversation with dan heng for days. you assume it was probably because you were snooping around his data bank, but he has never minded that before. you haven't got an actual chance to apologize either, because for some reason, dan heng is now constantly busy.

the four of you decided that you would split up to look around. march immediately went to stelle, so that left you with dan heng.

dan heng knew this would happen. he couldn't avoid you for too long anyway, even if he tried. he would always end up gravitating back towards you.

it pained him to not talk to you. he missed your voice, your jokes, your little touches. he missed your book talks, he missed the way you'd always be in his room, he even missed your nosiness.

you and dan heng were aimlessly strolling around the streets until you found a lively street parlor. they were selling food, and the aroma was absolutely divine. dan heng knew you immediately caught your mind on something when he saw your beaming face.

you still haven't found a correct time to apologize to dan heng, but that can wait for later. you just wanted to talk to him. "dan heng! we should try some," you beamed.

"okay. i'll wait over here," dan heng monotonously replied. your smile slightly faltered, dan heng thought the sight to be excruciating.

he couldn't still be mad at you, right? you had to apologize soon, because this silent is agonizing. you couldn't help the fact that you missed dan heng. you missed late nights and his warm touch. you missed his sarcasm and his gentle nature.

when you returned, you brought back one giant kebab that dan heng knew you couldn't finish. you'd probably have enough to share with the entire express.

when you took a bite of the kebab, you moaned with delight, and dan heng forgot how much he missed your smile. it all came rushing back to him, all the things he missed about you. you are right here, in his grasp, yet he still cannot have you.

after your first bite, you offered a second bite to dan heng. etiquette was all out of the picture when you were there.

originally, dan heng wasn't planning to eat. there were lots of problems at hand, and dan heng could not relax now. but you were an obstacle in his equation. how could he refuse you when you were practically bouncing on your toes, smiling, and looking at him with such mirthful eyes. saying no to you was like refusing a blessing from the aeons.

he took a bite out of the kebab, to which he nodded in delight. dan heng finished chewing with a delighted expression on his face, and your smile appeared once again. dan heng felt his lips creep up, and sooner or later, he was smiling as well.

he looked down at your happy expression, and he noticed that you had food on the corner of your mouth. dan heng usually scolded you for being slightly messy, but in this tender moment, there was no need.

dan hen grabbed a napkin from a nearby table and wiped the corner off your mouth off. he wiped the food off so tenderly that you would think he was tending to something delicate and fragile. and the gaze he gave you after. you nearly passed out. dan heng looked at you with such fondness and love that you gripped the kebab harder.

his mind hadn't registered what he just did before you quietly said, "thank you."

dan heng nearly malfunctioned. what he just did was criminal. it was a simple thing, however it was most criminal to dan heng. during that moment, all he could think of was your lips on his. the tenderness of his touch was his mind projecting how he would cup your face when you two kissed. all of it felt so wrong, but so right.

"no problem," dan heng blushed and avoided your eyes. "do you... do you think we should meet back up with march and stelle?"

"yeah," you looked down at the ground, slightly flustered, "yeah. let's go."

things were awkward. but at least things were okay. and that was all that mattered to you.

MARCH 7TH HAD speculations. you and dan heng were like a pair. you two were a dynamic duo, second to march and stelle, of course. you would always be seen with each other. when march "accidentally" stumbles into dan heng's room, you'd be somewhere in there as well.

so, why is it that whenever march barges into dan heng's room, you aren't there? why are you not with him? why is he "constantly busy" when he there is nothing to store in the data bank? something was up, and march was determined to find out what was happening.

"don't you think it's weird that we never see dan heng and yn together anymore?" march asked stelle while sipping on juice.

stelle huffed, "i mean, it's a little weird. but maybe they're both exhausted. we just got out of belobog and now we're facing more conflict in another world."

"yeah, but," march paused for dramatic effect, "i saw them together in dan heng's room a few days ago."

stelle furrowed her eyebrows, "are you stalking them or something?"

"what?!" march exclaimed, nearly jumping out of her seat. the scene caused stelle to laugh, "no. of course not, i can't believe you accused me of that!"

"so... you don't think it's weird that we never see them together anymore?" march continued.

"okay. i'll answer. it's a little weird. but whatever it is i'm sure they have a reasonable explanation for it," stelle said. "why are you asking about them anyway?"

"because," march drew out the syllables, "they're cute. i've been shipping them. and plus, dan heng hasn't really been acting like himself recently."

"yeah, but what are we gonna do about it? he hasn't really opened up to us about his problems... like... ever..." stelle trailed off, as if she tried to remember how many times dan heng has ever spoken about himself.

"don't worry stelle," march grinned, "i have a plan."

"i can't believe we fell for this," you grimaced in the closet you were stuck in.

march and stelle split up and told both of you that there was a group meeting in march's room. obviously, because the both of you thought there was something urgent, you rushed in there. you were prepared, only to be ambushed and pushed in a closet by march and stelle as a ploy to "make up."

alas, you knew you needed to talk things out sooner or later.

dan heng, on the other hand, was freaking out. you're close. you're so close that he can feel every time you exhale out of your nose. this closet had no space, so you were practically pressed up on dan heng.

the one thing he couldn't see though, was your face. dan heng wanted to see your face. he wanted to study you up close: he wanted to your skin with his hands, wanted to pull you closer so he can observe the way your mouth lifts when you smile. he wants so much, but he can have none of it.

"i think i can break us out," dan heng offered.

"do you think they're guarding the doors?" you chuckled. dan heng gave a small smile after hearing your laugh. it's ironic that you're laughing in this situation while dan heng's heart is about to burst.

"i think the both of us can take them," dan heng answered.

this is the most you two have ever spoken to each other in days. you missed his voice and you missed being so close to him. unconsciously, you leaned closer to dan heng. you would know his warmth from anywhere.

as you two try to find a good point to hit, your hands brush against dan heng's. the way his hand feels on top of yours just feels right. the way his touch is still so gentle; oh how badly you missed his touch against yours.

"i'm sorry!" dan heng quickly removed his hands from yours. he moved away from you as well. you wanted so badly to chase him: you wanted to come closer, to place your hands with his one more time.

but you didn't. you doubted the fact that dan heng wanted to be near you. with his recent actions, you were wondering if the two of you were still on good terms or not. you could mess everything up with one action; dan heng was the very last thing you wanted to lose.

when you two finally found a good breaking point, you both put all your body strength into prying the doors open. it took a few tries, but the doors finally opened. however, there were consequences. the closet fell down with the combined force of both your bodies shaking it.

before you two fell to the floor, dan heng grabbed your arm and pulled you underneath him in a quick motion. your heart raced against your chest; you were so close that you could feel dan heng's heartbeat as well. and to your surprise, his heart was beating just as fast as yours.

the closet fell on top of you, and dan heng shoved it off of the two of you in one motion. seeing him do that just made your heart beat faster, and you were sure that you were breathing faster as well.

dan heng looked down to check on you, but doing so brought him much closer to you. closer than he had ever been. if dan heng moved down a little bit more, he would be able to close the distance between your lips. the urge was tempting: he was on top of you, your faces were both so close to each other, and your breathing was rampant and quick.

"are you alright?" dan heng asked. his breath fanned your face and you stared right into his eyes.

"i should be asking you that," you breathlessly whispered. he was so close and you were about to burst.

"i'm alright," he leaned down closer, "don't worry about me."

you two were both in a daze when you found yourselves leaning closer to each other. dan heng cupped your face; he couldn't wait any longer. all resilience went out the window, because right here, right now, you were here. you were in front of him, looking as radiant as ever, and dan heng could close the distance right now.

his hands treaded carefully across your face, as if you were one-of-a-kind. finally, his hands rested against your cheeks, and he leaned closer. dan heng was so close to kissing you before a commotion entered the room.

"OH MY GOD!" march exclaimed before running out of the room.

you startled, and accidentally pushed dan heng off of you. you frantically apologized while dan heng brushed himself off and helped you up. you were shaking at what almost just happened. you almost kissed your best friend.

the distance between you and dan heng was wide. he made sure to stand exactly five feet away from you. his hands were crossed and he refused to look at you. dan heng was worried that if he got even the slightest glance at you, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from what would happen next.

you both quickly left the room with racing hearts, confused thoughts, and a realization that whatever just happened was a mistake.

WHENEVER DAN HENG NEEDS SOMEONE to help him with his wounds, you are always that person.

at first, it was for team bonding. before stelle came, you all would take turns patching wounds to build team trust. however, with dan heng, the only person that he'd let patch up his wounds was you. you used to tease him and tell him that he was like a dog in that way, but he always brushed it off.

you were always gentle with him; carefully touching up on cuts and bruises with bandages or rubbing alcohol. by no means were you any doctor, but you were tender and calm.

dan heng was wounded again. there was no reason for him to be wounded. the fight was tame; the enemies weren't extremely powerful or anything. but for some reason, dan heng surpassed the rest of the team with more cuts.

now, you two were in a small room together. luckily, it's more spacious than the closet, but it wasn't as big as dan heng's room. you and dan heng were both sitting on a table; you sitting criss-cross-applesauce while dan heng was sitting properly.

the both of you haven't talked ever since the closet incident. instead, you two have been sharing gazes, brushing past each other in halls, and staying five feet away from each other.

this was the closest you have been in a while.

you are focused on banadaging dan heng's cuts. your eyes are glued to his arms and torso; you refused to look up at dan heng. you couldn't look at him for two reasons: you were slightly mad at him for obtaining so many injuries and you still couldn't look him in the eye after the past situation.

dan heng sat in silence as you tended to him. he knew you were mad at him, and he felt awful. dan heng knew that he didn't need to sustain as many injuries has he had. the only reason why he had so many injuries was that he was trying to distract himself from his feelings. the closet situation had him questioning himself. given the chance, would he hold himself back or would he let his urges win?

"i'm done," you let go of his arms and started putting bandages away. dan heng didn't know you'd be done so quickly. he wanted to bask in your grace for a little longer. dan heng thought about pulling a stitch in order to get you to stay longer, but that just seemed weird.

dan heng knew he couldn't let you leave like this. there was too many unspoken words between you two; most of them, partially his.

during this, dan heng realized something. he realized that, even though you are still mad at him, you stayed with him. you didn't ask for march or stelle to help him, but you did it yourself. dan heng could be reading too much into it, but dan heng is tired. he's tired of longing for you.

and maybe, just maybe, if you'll stay when it gets difficult (like right now), maybe you'll stay when it gets hard as well.

dan heng decides to leave all resilience behind. for once, he doesn't calculate the consequences nor does he hold himself back.

you're about to slide off the table until dan heng pleads, "wait." he grabs your arm and holds you there with a gentle grip. you could slip out of it if you wanted to, but this may be the first actual conversation the two of you will have in a while.

dan heng takes your silence as an answer. "thank you," he says. he curses at himself at the simple response. it was anti-climatic. "i appreciate you," he adds on.

the compliment made you blush, even though it was very simplistic. you avoid looking at him and rather focus on tapping your fingers on the table. "no problem. it was nothing anyway."

you two remain silent for a few moments; you didn't want to leave in fear that this may be one of your few conversations. dan heng was trying to find the right words to say.

"i really do appreciate you. for being here. for always being here," he continues. dan heng realizes he sounds redundant, and he wants to slap his palm across his face. with you, he couldn't find the right words to convey his actions. saying, "i'm sorry," wasn't enough and saying, "i miss you," was too little.

"i told you. it's nothing. i'd do the same for everyone else," and you wanted to chide yourself for saying the last sentence. not true, because the only person who'd you really do all of this for was only dan heng.

"i think this is the longest conversation we've had in a while," you murmur to yourself.

"i know," dan heng replies. you jump back on the table, almost falling off. if it wasn't for dan heng catching you (yet again), you would've fell off. his touch sends electricity through your veins; his touch brings warmth to your body.

"hey! you need to watch your stitches," you automatically scolded him. your nagging was a normal occurrence, but this time, it felt rare. dan heng hasn't heard you nag at him for years (days), and he feels as though he can breath normally now.

"sorry," he pulls back. you're left shuffling closer to dan heng, not that you notice, due to your almost fall. you two were facing each other now; the distance was a lot closer than before.

you let out a small laugh at the situation. practically falling of a table was not a laughing matter, but you always found joy in those situations. sometimes, dan heng thought it was a bit strange, but he always valued your optimism.

"i'm sorry dan heng," you look back down on the table, "i didn't know going through your data bank would make you ignore me for days," you let out dry chuckle.

dan heng furrows his eyebrows in shock, "don't apologize. i don't mind you looking through the data bank."

you looked up after his reply, expression shadowed with confusion, "wait? really? so... why the radio silence? did i have something to do with it?"

"no! no, it wasn't you," dan heng quickly reassured. "it was me. i was the problem."

"don't have to tell me that," you smiled and bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing.

"i'm gonna let that slide," dan heng smirked. it was nice, the way you two fell back into your normal routines once again. it was like all the tension that was previously there, simply dissipated.

"i missed you," you crossed your legs on the table, moving back to the criss-cross applesauce position.

"me too," dan heng replied. "i missed you a lot." he looked straight into your eyes.

you flustered underneath his gaze, "i probably missed you more. sometimes i dunno if i can survive without you," you joked. it was a joke, but occasionally, you find it to be true.

"for me, it's the other way around," dan heng mumbled beneath his breath. "i really missed you. and our late nights. and star-watching."

"you missed star-watching?" you astonishly asked. dan heng wished he could take a picture of your grin when he told you that he missed star-watching.

"i missed a lot of things," dan heng paused, "but i missed you the most."

"i'm sorry for pushing you away yn. i was just⎯ scared," time to rip off the band-aid, "when i'm around you, i just get so messed up. you're the only thing on my mind sometimes. everything about you just makes me⎯ breathless? speechless? you amaze me to the point where i can't even think of a word to describe you."

dan heng pauses and his heart is racing. you're looking at him as if you want him to continue, as if you want him to finally say what he wants. dan heng doesn't know that you want it too.

"yn," dan heng looks straight at you, "i have feelings for you. feelings that i think will overwhelm me at one point if i keep it all together. i never stop thinking about you, longing for you. i want you and i think i really want to kiss you," dan heng finishes. he fumbled on his words back there, because he doesn't think he wants to kiss you, he wants to.

"dan heng..." your face is hot. your body is hot. your breathing is fast-paced and you feel like you are about to be on fire. adrenaline rushes through your veins and you are sure you are not thinking straight.

you pull him in for a kiss, tugging him closer by his chin and kissing him passionately. you take that fire from your body and you pour it all into this kiss. dan heng is surprised at first, but then reciprocates your actions. while your hand is on his face, his hands slide to your hips, tugging you closer and holding you tighter.

you two kiss until you have to stop for air. when you breathe, the whole world feels like it's on fire as well.

"i feel the same. i can't stop thinking about you," you lean in for another kiss, "i miss you," another kiss, "i missed being with you," another, "i missed being close to you," another, this time a little longer, "but i really hope i don't miss this."

"don't worry," dan heng pauses, "you won't. i promise."

and after all of that, dan heng finally got to kiss you.

[honeytonedhottie]

HONEYS IT GIRL MAGAZINE march edition⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

welcome back to honeys it girl magazine, this is the march catalog. get ready for the inside scoop on data that i've collected, things i've learned/started doing, and just general info like that organized in kind of a teen-magazine inspired fashion. a magazine for it girls ✨ and now please enjoy, the it girl magazine.

MUST HAVE FASHION ITEMS ;

for march/spring fashion in general its so fun to dress like a winx doll or a fairy. i feel magical in flowy material that shimmers, adorable mini skirts and accessories like gold bangles and waist chains.

when im going shopping, im mainly buying clothes for hot girl summer bcuz im just so excited and can't wait. plus i wanna be prepared yk? some patterns that i've noticed in my shopping patterns are that im buying lots of camisoles and sleeveless shirts.

also i've been looking for cute shorts and low waisted jeans. im looking for cute things to embroider onto the jeans and shorts to personalize them and make them feel more "summery".

something that i started was a FASHION BINDER. i followed @prissygrlsorority's idea for a fashion binder and started my own and so far im having SUCH an amazing time. i want to take time and perfect my binder but so far its going well ✨

spring traditionally has LOTS of pastel colors so formulate a color scheme based on pastel colors that look good on you. some rly good examples for color scheme this spring include

something to note for spring fashion specifically is to not look for colors that are specifically dark or bland, the idea behind spring fashion is giving fresh flowerbed, something REFRESHING.

FOR THE BLOG ;

i've been working this month on a larger project that i think you guys would really enjoy and find useful. it'll be released on the first of march and i'll announce it exactly a week before.

additionally during the month of march i expanded my blog by setting up a membership system and facilitating a way for u guys to tip my work and support my blog. i've also offered my services if u might want them.

for the month of april u can expect a variety of content but i wanted to get input from you guys on what you'd like to see the most so i'll be releasing a poll for april content later today.

HOT GIRL SUMMER PREP ;

look, ik its only march but hot girl summer is right around the corner so here are some ways that you can prepare yourself for the summer, so that you can be your most glowy, confident, and radiant self ✨

you can moisturize ur skin with the most sweet smelling and extravagant body butters and creams, but if ur skin is dull and dead you won't get that GLOW that u so desperately seek

for this i recommend juicing (i'll get more into health in the wellness girlies section) and start dry brushing to promote blood circulation and remove dead skin cells from ur body, leaving ur skin feeling baby smooth. also i recommend using a body scrub 2-3x a week depending on the sensitivity of your skin.

if u liked this hot girl summer prep section u can continue reading right one of my recent posts where i went more in depth about how u can prepare for ur hot girl summer.

OH HOW I ADORE BEING A WOMAN ;

this months catalog was in collaboration with @pastel-charm-14 and this section of the magazine was written by her ✨🫶🏽

march brings more than just the promise of spring, it's also a time to celebrate the amazing women who've shaped history. as women's history month rolls around, we can't help but reflect on what it means to be a part of this incredible legacy.

think about those bold suffragettes who fought tooth and nail for our right to vote. they weren't just distant figures in history books; they were real women with fire in their hearts and determination in their eyes. and what about the everyday heroes—the moms, sisters, and friends who quietly make the world a better place?

they might not be famous, but they have such an incredible impact. so here's to us—here's to the laughs, the tears, and everything in between. here's to celebrating our history, our struggles, and our triumphs—because they're what make us who we are.

cheers to being women, and cheers to the journey ahead. being a woman isn't always easy, but i know wouldn't have it any other way.

FOR THE WELLNESS GIRLIES ;

something that has come to my attention is that i drink a lot of fluids early in the morning. i've known that it was good to drink fluids in the morning, specifically water, but i wanted to have an in depth explanation of why it was good. so i googled it ofc.

ur body is dehydrated while u sleep so when u drink water first thing in the morning it helps ur body to recover from the temporary dehydration.

your body absorbs fluids faster in the morning on an empty stomach. so my routine has been, once i wake up to have an 8 oz cup of water, but water isnt the only thing that i drink in the morning.

bcuz fluids are so quickly and efficiently absorbed in ur body in the morning, you can drink other healthy drinks and reap the benefits. some things that i drink in the morning are ;

chlorophyll - this makes me feel so clean, it boosts red blood cells production and helps with glowy skin and weight loss. plus after i drink it i feel so clean, like a fresh out of the shower feeling

ginger shots - these are pretty lethal but they r so good for you. ginger shots are rly good for digestion issues and bloating, and it also boosts ur immunity which is always good

kombuchas - this one i dont drink on an empty stomach, but drinking kombucha in the morning though rly helps with bloating and reduces inflammation, leaving me looking snatched

FUN QUIZZES, VIDEO ESSAYS, RECIPES AND GAMES ;

what kind of flirt are you? - seventeen magazine

whats ur girl power anthem? - seventeen magazine

what kind of dessert are you? - queendom

FOOD FOR THOUGHT ;

this is the video that im going to be thinking about in order to write this section and here's what i thought about it.

ok so the conflict is unique but personally if i was the husband i wouldn't be mad bcuz its not like the wife was IN the bed with the brother in law 😭 she just said that he could use it cuz he was so sleepy. i think that what she did was nice and the husband could've communicated that he was uncomfortable in a better way then to get angry. but in that same breath the wife knows how strongly her husband feels about things like this so maybe she could've been more considerate. like bring out a pillow and some blankets for the brother in law and let him rest on the couch or whatever 💀.

if u thought differently or if u wanna elaborate on that and have more of a discussion feel free to share ur own opinions and thoughts in the comment section.

[yanderenightmare]

since u have a large following, i wanted to ask about the first few months when u started. How many followers in the first few months do u think is good for a blog that js started? Is it natural to not attract ad much as others?

I get demotivated when i see other people have big numbers in following while I only have a few 😅 ik i probably shouldn't be dumpin this in ur ask box but I think I need advice, so feel free to ignore tis if u don't wanna answer.

Anyway, love ur work SO MUCHHH

My Tumblr Journey

Hmm, well, you know, your following increases based on how often you post and what you post, so it's going to be very different for everyone.

But I'll explain what I've done, starting from the very beginning, and maybe it might give you some insight and help you out!

In the Beginning!

I made my first post on June 22nd, 2020, and got my first thousand followers within 113 days after that, then another thousand in the following 69 days.

Back then, I only posted fandom works, solely yandere BNHA.

It was a time when BNHA was extremely popular. Season four had just finished airing, and the anime-only fans had been introduced to Hawks for the first time. So, my popularity really rode on that wave.

Part Two of The Beginning!

Shortly after that, in 2021, BNHA had its fifth season featuring Deku getting his additional quirks, and on top of that, the villains got their very own arc. My Hero was really popping off and coming into its own as one of the best animes of all time. And you know I was continuing riding the wave.

Simultaneously, season one of Jujutsu Kaisen finished airing in March of that year. And, of course, I jumped on the trend and made my first JJK post in May when it was just starting to heat up.

After that, I also started branching out into other fandoms—though still kept mainly to BNHA.

♡ 2021 COLLECTION FULL

Crappy New Year!

2022 was a really shitty year for my Tumblr. I was busy in my final year of high school, then went straight to University and got busy making friends and all that stuff.

And yet, despite all that, this is the year I made 10k! Woohoo!

♡ 2022 COLLECTION FULL

The Year of JJK!

Ever since watching season one, I'd bought all the manga and was fully caught up. Then, season two started in July, and you know I and every one else was eating it up.

Satoru Gojo had fully become my new favorite character, often joined by Geto, knocking Bakugou out of the number-one slot—while Mahito challenged Shigaraki for second place.

All in all, it was a really good bounce back from 2022.

♡ 2023 COLLECTION PART ONE ♡ 2023 COLLECTION PART TWO

The Year of Inserts and My Best Year Yet!

This is the year I started writing primarily inserts.

Fanfic writing had become a little stifling and repetitive, so I found it really liberating to be able to write what I wanted without needing to cater it to a specific character.

And I couldn't be any luckier how well you all responded to it. I made a ton of new followers, reaching 20k and almost 30k in the same year!

The response was, in fact, so good that I even published a book with only OCs—Marie's Collection of Erotic Thrillers.

However, with that being said, I think writing for a fandom really helps you get started. Because you'll be able to use the fandom tags, which in turn will help people find your writing.

That's what I did, though, so I can't really speak on what it would have been like if I only wrote inserts and OCs from the beginning. However, I know of other authors here on Tumblr who've taken that route and have blown up almost overnight!

So, there really isn't any right or wrong way here.

♡ 2024 COLLECTION PART ONE ♡ 2024 COLLECTION PART TWO

Hope it helps!

[soursweetnessofmind]

Hi there. I love anything Clexa. How about a misunderstanding or fight. (Bonus points for lots of angst 🫣)

I'll be waiting for you

Youth is unripe and terribly sweet. It’s an unforgiving hurricane that either sweeps aside or devours anything it might encounter; it’s the beginning of something new, exciting, and emotional. But it is also the death of a past, of comfort and childhood, and of a lot of rulers one thought governed the world around them. Sometimes there are too many thoughts in your head and too many emotions in your heart for you to be able to put everything into words; sometimes you’re just caught red-handed, and there’s no amount of wishing to go back that actually feels enough to describe the pitying void inside you, weakening your legs and stinging your eyes, and FUCK.

Lexa really wishes she saw this coming.

But she didn’t. And now, as she runs through the streets towards the Griffin residence, she knows she’ll pay the price.

Her lungs burn, and there’s an ache spreading all over her body, but it’s not the exertion of the run; it's the remembrance of the haunted look in Clarke’s eyes. I didn’t know she would kiss me, Lexa tries to reason with herself, tries to think of what the hell she’ll say to Clarke after everything she saw at the diner. I didn’t know, I swear. She said she needed a friend; she said her father was being his shitty self again and she had no one else to talk to beside me. She didn’t want to open up about this to anyone else but me. If you saw everything, you saw I pushed her. You saw I didn't really kiss her. There’s no one else I want other than you. I’m so fucking sorry.

The house looms on the horizon, and the gods might’ve started to take pity on Lexa because, thankfully, there’s only Clarke’s baby blue car sloppily packed in the driveway, which means Lexa’s guess is right and she did come home instead of running to Raven’s, where Lexa would probably get shot at by Clarke’s best friend before getting any words out. Having this conversation in front of Ms. Griffin also feels unfathomable, so yeah, things are really starting to smile at Lexa right now.

Hopefully, Clarke will too. soon.

She almost slams herself against the front door to knock, not really slowing down as much as she thought she would. Taking lungfuls of breaths, she knocks again, almost as strongly. “Clarke!” she shouts. “Please, baby. Talk to me. Please please, please.” no answer. She knocks again. “I know you’re there, Clarke. Let me explain, please.” Still no answer.

Her phone buzzes.

Anya: dued what the fuckkkkkk

Anya: lexa

Anya: what

Anya: the

Anya: fuck

Anya: im gonna wait for you at home.

Anya: GO HOME.

Anya: NOW.

Anya: RAVEN WILL GET OCTAVIA AND SOON THEY’LL BE MARCHING FOR YOUR HEAD DOWN THE STREETS.

Anya: also please. for the love of god.

Anya: STEER AWAY FROM HER HOUSE

Anya: DO NOT GO TO CLARKE’S HOUSE RIGHT NOW.

Anya: if i have to rescue your remains from the griffins backyard im gonna be really pissed at you when we meet again in the afterlife. im waiting for you. go home. we r gonna talk and figure this out. i know something is wrong. ik you wouldnt do this to her.

Costia: I’m sorry

Costia: I don’t know what came over me

Costia: i just miss you.

Costia: a lot.

Costia: and im still sorry for what i did and for the harm i’ve cause. but if things don’t end up well w griffin, please know you can still come to me

Costia: maybe we can try again

Costia: god that’s so fucked up, right? im so sorry lexa. forget everything. thanks for today. i miss you. please talk to me again when you can xx.

What the fuck?

Breathing still labored, Lexa shoves her phone in her pocket as she rounds the house. There’s an enormous tree by its side, a tree Lexa is familiar enough with its branches and leaves not to hesitate or slow down as she starts to climb it. The strongest branch is close to Clarke’s window for her to make an entrance without much fuss. It’s only when she steps inside, that the girl in lying facing down on her bed notices her presence.

Clarke looks like a wild thing right now. Blonde curls mussed, rimmed wet eyes, and a flushed face that’s beginning to swell. She looks terribly beautiful like this, which is very unfair right now in Lexa’s opinion, and it’s not really helping her calm her racing heart or come up with anything to say to the girl. Her girl.

Lexa takes one step, and Clarke backs off, like a caged animal.

“Baby-”

“Don’t fucking ‘baby’ me,” Clarke cries. “Why are you here? Get back to your date.”

“It wasn’t a date!” Lexa cries, fear and anxiety pumping her heart. “We were just talking.”

“She kissed you, Lexa.”

“But I didn't kiss her!” Lexa gets closer; now Clarke’s just an arm’s length away. “We were just talking, and she kissed me. I didn’t know she’d do that, Clarke. I didn’t want it. I swear to you.”

Fresh tears gather in Clarke’s eyes. “You lied to me,” she whispers, sounding so small and so broken it’s hard for Lexa to control her own emotions. “You said you were helping Anya, but instead I caught you kissing your ex in a diner, Lexa. You told me you and Costia didn’t speak anymore. You told me you were at Anya’s.” Frustration is starting to slip through Clarke’s tone, and now, instead of utterly sad, she looks awfully mad too.

When Lexa doesn’t respond, Clarke squints her eyes. “Well, didn’t you want to talk? Why did you lie to me, Lexa?” When again the blonde is met with silence, her patience starts to run thin. “Say something!” she cries.

I thought I could do both. I thought I could be a friend to Costia and still get back and be yours, hold you to me. I didn’t say anything because if I did, I knew you would be upset. I knew the next time Bellamy or Niylah or anybody else that has feelings for you called for a friendly outing, you would go too. I fucked up first because I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of this. But now, as I look at you like this, I feel like the dumbest loser on earth. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry.

“I’m sorry,” Lexa gulps and keeps her mouth shut. Nothing else feels good enough to be said now; everything swirling around in her brain is either too honest or too stupid to be said out loud. Neither the truth nor a lie feels good enough to Clarke. “She said she needed a friend; her father can be a real asshole most of the time. I- I thought that was all she wanted, a friendly shoulder to cry on.”

Clarke huffs. “I told you she still had feelings for you.”

(They’re lying together against the soft grass of the backyard, flushed from the proximity and all the alcohol consumed. They keep kissing and holding each other close, and honestly, Lexa has never felt more loved than right now. There’s no grand gesture of romance, just the softness of Clarke’s fingertips as they contour her face and the way her eyes shine bright when looking at Lexa.

“I just think she likes you,” Clarke says, while making a face. “I believe in you. But I don’t think the same applies to her. She’s still into you. It’s in the way she looks at you and in how she talks when I'm around.” A hand comes to her face. “I feel so stupid saying this; maybe it's stupid, right? I-"

“I don’t think it’s stupid.” Lexa says softly, reaching for the hand Clarke used to cover her eyes. “Costia and I were good friends before we started to date, and honestly, now I see that’s what we should’ve remained. Friends. That’s all I see her as now.” Lexa brought their faces closer. “I’m into somebody else, if you couldn’t tell")

Before Lexa can answer, a loud knock comes from Clarke’s bedroom door. “Princess?” Bellamy asks softly.

Lexa huffs a humorless laugh. “ Of course.” How did he even got into the house?

Clarke merely squints her eyes at her but replies to Bellamy nonetheless. “Bel, not now.”

“Look, Clarke, I-”

“Are you deaf or something? She said not now. Piss off, Blake.” Lexa says before she can help herself.

“What’s wrong with you?” Clarke asks, outraged. “You can’t talk to him like that. He’s not in the wrong here.”

“I just think it’s funny he’s the first to come running to your feet the moment he discovers something has gone wrong between us.” Lexa spits.

Clarke clenches her teeth. “He’s my friend, you know that.”

“Oh yes, I know. And I bet he can’t wait to give you a real nice shoulder to cry on as soon as I am out of the picture.”

“Oh, like you did to Costia?” Clarke asks, a new type of venom dripping from her mouth, “Is that what you are afraid of? That I’ll wait for when you’re not around to kiss him?”

Lexa feels her chest constrict at that mental image. “That’s not what happened!”

“Then you’ve nothing to worry about!”

“What else do you want from me?” Lexa cries. “I told you what happened. I didn’t want her to kiss me, but she did anyway. What else do you want me to do? Go back in time and prevent myself from seeing her in the first place?”

“I want you to be honest with me!” Clarke almost shouts, more tears dampening her cheeks. “You lied to me! You say you’re sorry, but that doesn’t change the fact that you lied to me. We’ve been talking the whole day, and you’ve been saying again and again you were with Anya helping her with the car stuff.” Lexa suddenly realizes the warm feeling on her face is her own tears painting her cheeks.

Clarke closes her eyes for a moment, taking deep breaths, trying her best to calm herself. She feels like her heart might be somewhere closer to her feet, broken and bleeding and as empty as it was when she saw Finn kissing another girl that damned night. When she opens it, the blue Lexa likes so much is empty and cold. “I’m not gonna be played again.”

“I’m not Finn.” Lexa answers firmly.

“You’re certainly acting like him, though.”

Ouch. Silence stretches between them, and Lexa can’t help but feel like Clarke is slipping through her fingers. The only sound in the room is Clarke’s labored breath.

“Just… get out of my house, please.” She says without looking at Lexa. “Please.”

“No, no, Clarke.” In three quick steps, Lexa gets closer. Almost touching but not daring to. “I'm sorry. Let's talk. We can sort this out.”

Their faces are so close they can almost taste their shared breaths, and it takes Clarke an amount of strength she didn’t know she possessed not to kiss Lexa right in that moment. Her eyes are so green and her lips so deliciously swollen, but she lied. This is what keeps playing in Clarke's mind as she keeps looking at the girl in front of her. She lied, and she was kissing somebody else. And all this could've been avoided if she hadn't lied. She lied to me just like Finn did.

“Give me another chance,” Lexa suddenly blurts out, feeling stupider than ever before, “Please, let’s just-”

“Get out of my house.” Clarke responds softly. “Please. I don’t wanna look at you right now. I can't do this anymore.”

“Baby, please.”

“Piss off, Woods!” Comes from the other side of the door, and only now Lexa realizes Bellamy has been listening to the whole exchange.

“Bellamy!” Clarke reprimands.

Lexa takes a deep breath, tries to remember he's not the point here, and it's not worth it. “We're gonna talk. Later.” She says, and Clarke raises an eyebrow.

“And that's up to you to decide?”

“No, it 's not. But I'm gonna be waiting for you. As long as it takes. When you finally wanna talk again, I'll be waiting.” Lexa chances a caress to Clarke's face and can't help the spark of hope that shoots inside of her when Clarke doesn't back away from the fingertips tracing her cheeks. “You mean more to me than your stupid friend or this stupid fight. You're everything and more. I'm not Finn, and I'm not letting things between us end like this.”

Clarke halts her movements and holds her wrist. “Lexa. Get. Out.”

[a-whispering-echo]

Clue-Au Dream doodle

a little doodle re-design of Cluedo Dream, because the original drawings date back to some time BEFORE March, i think? and ive improved since them by a landslide, so, a little doodle and a change to his character design - the plan all along was to make him look ike that classic 'widow who definitely did NOT kill their husband' but of course Dream isnt Nightmares husband and id his brother - its just where the design comes from lol

gonna edit this in a min with a screenshot of the original drawing to see the improvement in shape language and overall drawing improvement, lol

EDIT: here the old drawing lol: