#if you want things done right you have to do them yourself

[cloverapple]

How To Finally Shift If You’ve Been Trying For 2+ Years

⚠️ Little warning before we begin: don’t get scared off! I might sound a little negative at first, but that’s not the point of this post. My goal is for you to reach the end of this and think “Oh, I’m definitely going to shift to my DR now!”

Having said that:

If you’ve been on your shifting journey for two or more years, doing methods, reprogramming your mind, consuming advice, maintaining a mental diet, manifesting, forcing assumptions, trying to create assumptions, etc, etc⏤and you still haven’t shifted your awareness to your DR, maybe it’s time to stop trying to make yourself shift.

Stop trying to shift.

Stop trying to trigger a shift.

Maybe the thing you need at this point in your journey is to stop trying to make yourself shift.

And I’ll explain why by asking you a question:

In these two, three, four, however many years of effort, don’t you think you would have shifted by now?

Think about it. You’ve oversaturated your mind with the intention to shift. You do all your methods correctly. You try to convince yourself that you're already in your DR. You feel symptoms. Sometimes you even "mini shift." And yet… you're still here. Doing the same things. Searching for advice that leads you right back to doing the same thing:

Trying to shift. Trying to trigger a shift. Trying to shift your awareness.

Trying.

Trying confidently.

Trying hopelessly.

Trying angrily.

…Trying.

If you were going to shift by inducing a shift, triggering a shift, or successfully shifting with a method, it would have happened by now.

“But Clover, I still have a lot of soul-searching and work to do! I just need to put in more effort!”

Awesome! Then click away, because this advice isn’t for you. I’m not talking to you.

I’m talking to the person who is tired. Who is drained. Who, despite applying all the sage advice on the internet, is just burnt out from the process of shifting.

And if that sounds like you, let me repeat: Maybe you need to stop actively trying to shift.

Your work is done. And that’s a good thing.

You’ve spent years ingraining the idea of shifting into your subconscious. You’ve impressed the intention to shift so deeply that it’s already there. Congratulations! You did all the mental work. It’s done.

Your DR is already yours. You already have the ability to shift.

So stop trying to trigger it. Stop trying to make yourself shift.

Let go of the “making yourself shift” process.

“Oh my god, she’s going to tell me to take a break.”

LMAO you thought.

Yes, breaks are excellent. They help reset and recharge your mindset. I always encourage taking breaks if you need them. But let’s be honest. Sometimes, even the thought of taking a break feels just as mentally exhausting as staying on your shifting journey.

“Oh no, she’s going to tell me to do nothing at all.”

Once again, you thought.

Instead, you’re going to capitalize on the fact that you’ve already done all this work. The intention to shift is always, always, always in your mind. Your subconscious knows you want to shift. Just like it knows how to shift your awareness.

So, the next time you lay down to do your shifting process...

Instead of trying to shift…

Instead of trying to induce a shift, induce the void, or force an outcome…

Give yourself exactly what you want.

Give yourself the feeling of being in your DR.

Drop the conscious, active intention to shift because your subconscious already has it covered. You don’t need to keep hammering it in. Instead, focus on inducing the emotions you would feel if you were in your DR.

Imagine waking up in your DR. Imagine being there. Imagine spending time with your DR friends, your S/O, whatever makes you happiest. Personally, I lean toward wake-up scenarios. You can listen to music, meditate, visualize, even do a shifting method if you enjoy it—but instead of doing it with the intention to shift, you’re doing it just to give your body and mind the feeling of being there. The happiness, the calm, the excitement, whatever it is for you.

This does not mean you’re lying there thinking, “Okay, this is going to make me shift.”

No. No, no, no, no, no.

Drop the idea of shifting entirely. That process is done.

And I’ll say it one more time:

If you were going to shift by inducing a shift, making yourself shift, or triggering a shift, it would have happened already.

So let it go. Drop it.

Induce the emotions of being in your DR, and then let go. Once you do that, go to sleep. Or go about your day. That’s it.

So why does this actually make you shift?

Because feeling is the language of the subconscious.

Think about it: The moments in your life that shaped you the most weren’t just things you thought. They were things you felt deeply. Joy, fear, excitement, grief. Emotions imprint on the subconscious. That’s why certain smells, songs, or places instantly bring back vivid memories. Because your subconscious records experiences based on emotions, not logic.

So when you stop trying to shift and instead just focus on feeling like you’re in your DR, your subconscious responds by aligning your awareness to match that emotional state.

Because to the subconscious, there’s no difference between imagination and reality. When you visualize something vividly enough, your brain fires the same neurons as if you were actually experiencing it. Athletes use this trick to enhance performance. Musicians use it to refine their skills. And guess what? It works for shifting too.

When you let go of the effort and just immerse yourself in the emotions of already being there, you bypass the resistance that trying creates.

And that’s when the shift happens.

It happens because you stopped forcing it.

It happens because your subconscious already knows how to shift, you just needed to get out of its way.

So, again, drop the struggle. Drop the effort. Stop trying to shift.

The more precise or perfect you want the shift to be, the more pressure you put on yourself. Your brain rebels against that because rigid control drains energy.

Remember this:

High Emotion + Low Attachment = Flow.

When you feel something strongly but aren’t clinging to the result, your subconscious has room to act. This is why sometimes, when you care less or focus on something in a passing, emotional way, it manifests easily.

This is why people can give up on shifting entirely and shift. This is why people let go of the need to shift and shift. This is why you shift without meaning to.

You: “No, I can’t do this! I need to keep trying to shift or else my subconscious will think I don’t want to shift anymore!”

Me:

*As always, take what resonates, discard what doesn’t, because we’re all different people who need to hear different things :)

[cherrygirlfriend]

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ the cons of long nails

pairing: reader x stepbro!rafe synopsis: rafe's stepsister has acrylics on and can't touch herself so he helps out. warnings: smut, STEPCEST, oral (fem receiving), MDNI! wc: 700 a/n; was this inspired by me doing my own nails and being unable to do anything with them? mayhaps. real ones know the struggle. originally posted 11/12/2024

rafe masterlist ♡

your freshly manicured nails were digging into the skin of his shoulders; loud whines escaping your lips as rafe's were slowly making their way down your body; leaving a trail of warmth every time his lips made contact with your bare skin, small gasps escaping you whenever he nipped at your skin.

"quit whining..." rafe groaned into the skin of your abdomen, before he lifted his head slightly, the blonde's half-lidded eyes looked up at you, his pupils blown out, a small grin creeping up his lips, "or i'm gonna stop right now."

"you won't." you said with pursed lips, no confidence in your voice, causing him to grip your thighs tightly, his eyes narrowing as a wicked grin overtook his lips.

"are you sure you wanna test that?" your stepbrother grabbed one of your wrists, looking at your nails, "just had to get your nails done so now you can't even please yourself, hm? had to come to beg your stepbrother to help you."

"i didn't beg..." you mumbled, your face feeling hot with embarrassment.

"oh, really?" rafe snorted, "rafeyy, please, i got my nails done but 'm really horny, can you help me?" he spoke, mocking your tone and the earlier words you used on him, causing you to try and turn your head to hide your face, only for him to roughly grab you by your chin, making you look at him. "don't turn away from me. you're gonna stop whining, aren't you?"

his tone left no room for argument, so you simply nodded, letting out a timid, breathy, "yes." as you leaned back on the bed, rafe letting go of your wrist, his lips continuing their descent to your aching pussy, the blonde's long fingers slipping under the waistband of your soaked panties.

the time it took him to slide your panties down your legs was almost tortuous, rafe no doubt making sure to go as slow as possible, wanting every part of you craving and aching for him.

he pushed apart your legs, a trail of wet kisses pressed on your inner thigh while you held your breath in anticipation for when you'd finally feel him where you needed to; your head starting to feel dizzier the longer he took.

but when his tongue flicked at your puffy clit, your breath escaped your throat, mixing in with a moan you'd been holding back. rafe chuckled, the sound causing vibrations to run through your body, shivers climbing down your spine.

without even giving you a moment of respite, his tongue gathered up some of the wetness from your entrance, bringing it to your clit as his lips attached themselves to the swollen bud.

you arched into his touch, gripping his hair as moans and whimpers left your lips, each flick of his tongue on your clit causing another flash of electricity to crawl up your spine as he sucked on it, drawing out sensations you hadn't experienced before that moment.

rafe was gripping your thighs so roughly you were sure it'd leave bruises in the shape of his hands. still, you couldn't bring yourself to care, not when your eyesight was blurry just from having his lips around your clit, not when the burning feeling in your abdomen was so strong even though he'd only been attacking your clit for minutes; not when you didn't even have any concept of time thanks to him.

you were trying to moan his name, but your brain was so muddled by the things he was making you feel, you weren't quite sure what you let out of your mouth, but rafe still knew the moment you came by the loud whine and the tightened grip on his shoulders, all the while you were clenching around nothing.

when your panting had turned into only slightly quickened breathing, rafe pulled back, straightening his body as his body covered your own, a self-satisfied smirk on his face at the blissed-out expression you were sporting; and before you could say anything, he brought his lips to yours, letting you taste yourself.

[tinythebunni]

How bunnyprincess!reader and Rafe met!!

inspired by @rafesangelita @princessbrunette

Rafe always came to the country club on the weekends and on Wednesdays to play golf with his friends. He wore a polo every time and always had his shoes shined pristine. Rafe usually ended up winning and afterwards he’d go inside to sit by the bar or swim in the pool.

After a long and tedious match, Rafe ended up losing. He wasn’t completely locked in on the match due to the argument with Rose this morning.

Walking inside and huffing a sigh, he took off his shirt and slouched in the lounge chair with Kelce and Topper joining him. Rafe ran his hand through his sweaty buzzed hair and used his shirt to wipe his head. He closed his eyes, zoning out the stupid conversation around him.

his head was fucking pounding and their nonsensical ramblings made him even more and more irritated. pinching the bridge of his nose he sighed as he heard someone walking over to them. probably one of those fucking bartenders, he thought to himself.

Rafe was ready to just up and leave at this point but then he noticed 3 things. He could smell the sweet scent of your perfume. Smelled of cupcakes and the sugar cookies his mom would make. Your voice sounded of honey drizzling. And when he opened his eyes, his lashes flutter at how beautiful you were.

“Hai guys! The usual?” you spoke as you pulled out your notepad. your eyes did a sweep over the three guys in front of you, lingering a bit on him. Rafe was very fucking confused, he’d never seen you before and he definitely would know.

Kelce went to open his mouth but Rafe was faster than him. “What’s your name?” He spoke, sounding a little more angry than he meant to.

“Oh i’m sorry if i interrupted your nap, i just know that these two like to-“ He cut you off once more.

“Forget about it bun, ‘m not worried bout it. last fucking thing on my mind right now.”

you blushed and blinked, wide eyed. You told him your name, pen resting on your lip as you looked at him. He introduced himself to you and stood. he towered over you, which was unusual. being tall yourself, you often felt like a giant compared to most guys on the island.

Rafe smirked at your reaction, a laugh bubbling out his throat. You could sense the God inside him, aching to be let out. Maybe you were a bit dramatic but you’re just a teenage girl!

Stepping closer to you, he put his hand on your hip and turned you so that you were right next to him. He slid his hand to the small of your back, whispering a quick come with me to you before turning around and smiling at the boys.

“Rafe come on! Ya can’t keep stealing the pretty girls.” Topper yelled in exasperation, throwing his hands up.

Rafe chuckled before saying something that made your heart flutter. “You don’t gotta worry bout that no more. I want to keep this one. Make her mine and all that” he replied.

As he lead you away to a table in the corner, he asked you little questions. Mainly about your love life, what you were doing at this bar. “girl like you should never have to work. too pretty for all that shit” He added, watching as you glanced down as if your shoes were the most interesting thing in the world.

his thumb tilted your head up and you looked away nervously. “Hey hey. none of that shit. Look at me.” You did as he said, not wanting to lose his attention. “you should have someone providing for you. So you can do all that girly shit yall like and not worry about it.” He watched as you smiled, eating up your reaction. His tounge darts out to swipe at his bottom lip before he speaks again.

“I could be that for you. All my money just rots in my fucking bank account anyways. You want me to be that for you? Could be your boyfriend. Keep your tummy full, nails done, and make you feel good. Whenever you need it.” His words made you flush, your chest blooming with nerves and anxiety. But in the best way possible.

You nodded, your eyes a bit glossy at the casual dominance. You’d always been one to prefer when people take charge about certain things. And this? it was perfect. “Yea. I’d really like dat Rafe.” You stepped closer, making a move. You placed your hand on his chest and stood on your tip toes to kiss his cheek. “Can you wait for me to finish my shift? It’s over in 30 and I wanna talk to you more” you pouted trying to win him over as you regained your confidence.

“Fuck yea!” he said a little too excited. “I mean, yea yea for sure.” he corrected, nodding his head and he turned on his heel. You watched him walk away, noticing the slight bounce in his step.

[h0efor2ho]

Two Is Better Than One

Seungcheol X Reader X Mingyu

WC : 4.4K

TW : Roomates to FWB, threesum, unprotected ( wrap it up ) Anal, Vaginal sex, Fingering, Oral, Very very close to male on male, double penetrate, talks of masturbation, talks of toy use and listening through walls.

You jump at the sound of the door bell of your apartment ringing. "Piizzzaaa's Heeereee" you shout as you answer the door. Quickly paying the delivery driver you make your way into the kitchen. "I can smell the garlic knots from down the hall" Mingyu says as he enter the kitchen behind you. "Of course you can" you say rolling your eyes. You and Mingyu became quick friends back in freshman year when he coincidently was a pizza delivery driver. For two months straight he would deliver pizzas to you almost every day. The pair of you quickly bonding over your shared love of movies, after all he was a film major. "Where's 'Coups?" you ask as you open the pizza box.

Like on que you hear footsteps as Seungcheol rounds the corner into the kitchen "Right here" he smiles at you. His brown hair clinging to his forehead, wet, indicating he just finished up in the shower. Mingyu had introduced you to Seungcheol aka S.Coups aka Coups as you called him, toward the end of your freshman year of college. The two of them were gym buddies as they put it, working out together everyday. You and 'Coups clicked right away over your love for literature. The two of you often having conversations about the meaning of whatever book you were reading. The three of you became inseparable so it was a no brainer when your second year rolled around, that you should all live together and here you were two years later, all still getting along. 

You smile up at Seungcheol as he makes his was over to you "How many slices you want 'Coups?" reaching up to grab another plate from the cabinet. You cant quite reach it, stretching a bit farther before you feel an arm wrap around your bare thighs, another pressed to the XL hoodie on your stomach as Mingyu comes up behind you to lift you up. "There you go shorty" he teases as he places you back on the ground after you grab the plate. "I'm not that much shorter than you" you laugh back at him, knowing it was a flat out lie. You stood at 5'5' and Mingyu stood at 6'2". You quickly hand Mingyu and Seungcheol a plate and make one for yourself. None of you bather to sit at the table you have, opting to stand around the kitchen. Eating and talking until you were all done. 

"What are we doing tonight?" You ask Seungcheol as you wash the dishes you all used. It was roommate night. Once a week the three of you had a night where one of you picked a activity for all of you and tonight was Seungcheol's turn. "We just got that new video game. I was thinking we could play that tonight" he says as he helps dry the dishes and put them away. "Sure that sounds good, I'll make some popcorn" Mingyu says with a smile "You guys know I suck at those things" you laugh. "Dont worry we'll help you, right Mingyu?" Seungcheol says looking over at his roommate. "Absolutely" He says sweetly to you. "Fine" you sigh, "I'll go get the blankets" you say exiting the kitchen.

After another 15 minutes you were all gathered in the living room. You and Seungcheol on the couch while Mingyu opted to sprawl out on the floor. Mingyu and Seungcheol go first to get a feel for the game. All you could tell was it was some kind of racing game and it looked like Seungcheol was beating Mingyu. After two more rounds of Seungcheol winning he looked over at you "Alright your turn Y/N" he says handing you the controller. Taking it from him you look at it in your hand "Sooo what button is what?" you ask. Both Seungcheol and Mingyu laugh "Don't worry I'll help you, come here" Seungcheol says as he scoots back on the couch, patting the space in-between his open legs. You get up and perch yourself on the edge of the couch in the middle of him. 

"Come here silly" he says as his hand snakes around your waist to pull you back against his chest. "I need to be able to help you with the buttons" he says from behind you. Both his hands come to lay onto of yours on the controller. You cant help the butterflies that erupt in your stomach at his touch. His hands are soft and yet firm over your skin. You'd be lying if you said you had never thought of your roommate in that way, both of them. You cant count how many nights you'd lied awake in bed, touching yourself wishing it was one of them, whispering their names as you came all over your fingers. You'r very much aware your sitting in between his legs in just an oversized hoodie and knee high socks. Your breath hitching as Seungcheol's head comes to rest on your shoulder.

"Okay so this is how you go" he says as he guides your finger over the red button "And this is how you stop" this time his finger coming over the blue button. "Mingyu" he calls to your other roommate on the floor. Mingyu's head snapping up, an unreadable look spreads across his face as he looks at the two of you "Lets do a practice run first kay, so she can get used to the controls" Mingyu shakes his head yes before tearing his gaze from the two of you to the TV. You play two rounds with Seungcheol's fingers on yours to help you. By the third round he tells you you're on your own. His hand dropping from yours as the game starts. You were so focused on the game you didn't realize Seungcheol's hand had dropped to your thigh right above your knee. 

It wasn't until the round was over did you notice he was drawing little circles on your skin with his thumb. "Your to tense" You hear Seungcheol's voice in your ear "Relax" he says as he pulls you back flush against his chest and leans back into the couch. Your hoodie ridding up on your thighs a bit as you lean into him, your legs parting slightly with the motion. His hand on your leg begins to rub up and down your thigh, slowly dipping in between your legs. Slowly getting higher and higher with each pass toward your center. Your mind is reeling, you'r barley able to focus on the game, pressing the wrong buttons causing you to lose control of your car on screen and crash. "Pretty, you doing okay over there?" Mingyu says, turning to look at you and Seungcheol again. 

"She's doing just fine" Seungcheol says into your ear "She's just a little tense is all" His other hand comes down on your other thigh rubbing up and down. "Aww, I think we should help her relax. Don't you think 'Coup" Mingyu smiles up at the two of you. Seungcheol's hands swipe up again, sliding into the crack of your thighs, pausing dangerously close to your clothed center, squeezing the fat of your legs. You feel his hot breath on the shell of your ear "Would you like that Y/N?" he asks. "You want me and Mingyu to help you unwind?" You feel him press his lips to the back of your neck as his hands begin to move again. You don't trust your voice, all you can do is nod your head yes. You hear both men chuckle as you feel Seungcheol's hands pry your legs open, throwing each one over his to lock them in place. 

His hands sliding up the inside of your thighs, pausing right where your leg meets your body "Say Mingyu" he calls over to the dark haired man "Tell me, how wet is she" a shiver runs down your spine as Mingyu crawls his way over to sit in front of you. His face nestled in-between your legs. "Mmmm very Cheol" He says as his hands trace the same path Seungcheol's did up your legs. "Her little green lace panties have a nice big wet spot" Mingyu says looking up at you licking his lips. "Just as I thought" Seungcheol coos from behind you. His hand comes to run up and down the length of your covered slit, gliding over the damp crotch of your panties. "At first we thought you were just comfortable with us, walking around in those little skirts or things like this. Your long shirts with no pants on" 

His long finger finds your clit through your lace underwear, rubbing small circles into it "But then we heard you" Mingyu add's, Your eyes snap open to look down at him as your chest heaves. "Oh yes that's right isn't it Cheol" he says as he takes his thumb and runs it over your slick covered panties. "Oh yes Min'. You see Y/N the walls are thin so we hear everything" You swallow thickly "Ev-everything?" you question. Thinking back to all the night you had touched yourself, their names falling from your lips. "Yes pretty" Mingyu says before placing a kiss to your inner thigh. "Every time you called our names" he says "Every time you turned on that little toy of yours, we heard the tell tail buzz" Seungcheol whispers in your ear. "Every squash of your wet pussy begging to be filled up by more then your little fingers" Mingyu add's 

A shaky moan leaves your lips as Seungcheol applies more pressure to the circles hes drawing on your clit. "Min', I think she's very much enjoying this" Seungcheol smirks down at his friend "I think your right Cheol" he replies back pushing his thumb into your panty covered slit. He watches as his finger separates your folds behind the fabric, feeling the wetness seep through. You cant help your self anymore, you slowly start to roll your hips, grinding against their fingers. You hear Seungcheol let out a low groan from behind you. He pressed his hips up into your back, your ass rolling over him and his now very hard, very large cock. You let out a little gasp. "Look what you've done Y/N" he says as his lips find your neck as the same time Mingyu's meet the inside of your thighs.

You let out a whimper, your skin burning with each of their touches. "More" you whine as your head falls back onto Seungcheol's shoulder. "What do you say?" Seungcheol asks, voice muffled by the flesh of your neck hes sucking on. "Pleaseee" you say, tilting your head forward to look down at Mingyu in-between your legs. "Want more please" He detaches his mouth from your thigh "What do you think Cheol? Should we give her what she wants?" He asks cocking his head to. the side. "I think so." He says "Lets see how good she can be. Help me take these off" He says to Mingyu as his hand comes up to grip the band of your panties. He slides them down your hips to your thighs before Mingyu takes over and slides them the rest of the way off. Tossing them across the room somewhere. 

Mingyu's hands coming to rest on your knees as he pushes your legs wide open, putting you on display for them. He watched as Seungcheol dipped his fingers in between your fold, gathering your slick on his fingers before he brought that finger up to your clit. Gliding over the sensitive bundle of nerves with ease. "Put those thick fingers to use Mingyu" he says horsely to your roommate. You feel Mingyu take one of his fingers and circles it around your entrance, coating his finger tip in your juice before pushing into your tight hole. "ughh" you moan out as you feel him enter you. "You like that pretty?" He ask's looking up at you "Mmhmm" you shake your head yes as you slightly roll your hips, willing him to move inside of you. 

He slowly starts to pump his finger in and out of you a few times before adding another finger. You let out a whimper at the stretch "He's got to prep you to take our cocks princess" Seungcheol whispers to you, his words causing you to let out a moan. You feel his hand slink around your body, tugging up your hoodie and splaying his hand over your stomach. His hand hot against your skin as he trails it up your body before finding your chest. "Mmmm" he moans out "Min' look at what a bad girl she is" He says as he lifts your shirt up and over your head exposing you "No bra huh baby" he says "Its like she's just begging us to play with her" Mingyu says. "Is that what you want Y/N?" Seungcheol asks as his hand increases the pace on your clit, Mingyu does the same with his fingers, curling them upward to hit the spongy spot inside your walls. "You want us to play with you princess?" 

"Yesss" you cry out, the coil in your stomach is being to tighten as they continue exploring your body, Seungcheol has a finger rubbing circles on your clit as his other hand is cupping your left breast, slipping his thumb over your nipple. Mingyu has two fingers buried in your pussy, curling his fingers hitting your g-spot with each push and pull. His other hand reached up twisting and pulling your other nipple. Your teetering on the edge of your release when Seungcheol's hand comes up and wraps around your throat. "Now be a good girl and cum for us yea" that's all it took to send you over the edge. Letting out a loud moan as your walls squeezing around Mingyu's fingers, trying to suck him in and keep him there as you coated them in your juice. Seungcheol continued to draw lazy circles on you as you came down from your high, Mingyu's fingers slowed significantly. 

He slipped his fingers out of your wet hole, holding them up in front of you, spreading his fingers to watch your cum spread across them. Looking up he starts to bring his hand up, past your head and right into Seungcheol's waiting mouth. You turn your head to watch him sucks your juice off of Mingyu's fingers. Both boys humming at the sensation before Mingyu pulls them out with a pop. You lean your head back on Seungcheol's shoulder as you try and catch your breath, already a little tired from your first orgasm. "Help me with these" you hear Seungcheol say before you feel him lifting your hips. You look down and watch as Mingyu is slipping off Seungcheol's sweats and boxers to his ankles, before your placed back on Seungcheol's lap. His very hard dick now pressed up against your wet center. 

He reaches around grabbing the base of his cock before, he lightly slaps it against your cunt before hes pulling himself away from your pussy. "Min', help her" he says "Gladly" Mingyu says as his hands come to push your knees up, his hands behind them as he slightly lifts you up so Seungcheol can line his long cock up with your entrance before slowly lowering you down. You gasp as you feel the thick head of Seungcheol's cock push pass the tight first ring of muscles before you fully sink down on him. "Oh fuck" you cry out as he bottoms out in you. He gives you a second to adjust to his size before hes hooking his arms under your legs and lifting you up. He starts to thrust, a slow and gentle pace at first. "You must like that huh pretty" Mingyu coos up at you, his pants now around his thighs, his hand gripping his big dick as he lazily pumps himself. "Your already leaving a ring of cream around the base of his cock" 

"Is she now?" Seungcheol's asks in a strained voice from behind you. He's trying to be nice and hold back his assault on your pussy. He doesn't want to break you just yet. "Clean her off Min'" he coos down at him. Mingyu wastes no time attaching his mouth to your clit, sucking it into his mouth, his tongue lapping at your bud like it was the last thing he was going to do. The sounds spilling from your mouth keep getting louder and louder. You look down at the head of dark hair as his tongue swipes across your clit, before he pull back. He looks down at his hand, spitting into it before placing it back on his cock and pumping. Looking up he holds eye contact with you as he leans back in, his tongue meeting the lip of your pussy that's wrapped around Seungcheol's dick. Licking slowly collecting your release that's collected there. You watch as he laps at your folds while Seungcheol pounds into you flattens his tongue and licking till he finds your clit again. 

"Fuckk" You hear Seungcheol breathes out into your shoulder "You must like that with the way you're clamping on my cock so hard". He picks up his pace causing you to cry out as the tip of his cock slams into your cervix with each thrust. Your head leaned forward as you watch Mingyu lick you over and over again. Clean your release from your folds as Seungcheols pounds into you, before flicking his tongue up over your clit. A sensation growing deep in your stomach has you worried. " 'Gyu wait..." you cry out "Som' thin's wrong" you slur out as your body starts to shake in his arms. "Your good baby girl" he coos to you "take it baby, you can do it" Your legs are shaking, trying to clamp shut as Mingyu attaches his mouth to your clit again, sucking you in. "Fuckkk" you cry, "Please 'Coups... I'm gonna pee" you cry, tears pricking the corner of your eyes "Gyu" you cry, looking down at him, His eyes shifting up to meet yours. A smirk spreading on his face, he detaches his mouth from you but brings his fingers up. You watch as he pushes the small hood of skin back, exposing your swollen nub to him. His mouth coming back down, his tongue connecting with it. 

The second his tongue swipes over your nerve you are seeing white. You let out a strangled cry as your eyes roll back in your head, your back arching as your gush clear liquid all over Seungcheol's cock. "Fuck princess" Seuncheol grunts "Fucking squirting for us to" he slows his thrusts to allow you to come down once more. You'r panting, vision blurry from the tears in your eyes. Your hands gripping Seungcheol's arms, leaving little half moon shapes in them from your nails. Your body is slumped back against his chest. Your gasping as Seungcheol lowers your legs. "You are doing so good princess" he coos into your ear. Lifting your hips he slowly eases out of you. You whimper at the feeling of emptiness. "Don't worry, we're not done yet" he chuckles as he turns you to face him. A leg thrown on each side of him as you straddle his waist. Sinking back down on his hard length, a moan slipping past your lips. His hands coming up to cup your face as he leans in, gently pressing his lips to yours. His kiss is sweet and calming. 

As Seungcheol is distracting you with his sweet kisses, you feel Mingyu's hands on your ass. Spreading your cheeks apart, you hear the sound before you feel it. He hocks a glob of warm spit right on your puckered hole. You jerk and whimper in surprise when you feel his finger swipe against your hole. "Shhh. Its okay princess, he's just prepping you okay" Seungcheol coos while cupping your face. You nod your head in agreement before leaning forward to rest your head on his shoulder. Seungcheol looks up at Mingyu and gives him a nod to continue. You feel Mingyu swirling his finger over your puckered hole before he gently pushes in. Your spine straightens a bit at the sensation, a small whimper muffled by Seungcheol's shoulder. His hands running up and down your back, while you cockwarm him. After a few minutes Mingyu has successfully inserted two fingers into your ass, scissoring them to spread you open. 

He pulls them out and quickly lines his cock up. Rubbing the bulbous head of his cock against your hole, coating it in his pre before he slowly pushed it in. "Ohh Fuck" you moan out as he stretches you open. His hand coming up to grip your shoulder. "You okay pretty?" he asks as he stalls, letting you get used to the tip of his cock in your asshole. "Mmhmm" you hum out as you shake your head "Please Gyu.. fill me up pleaseee" you whine out to him. He wastes no time in sinking the rest of his length into you. A string of curses leaves his lips as your hole wraps around him, hugging him like you were made for him. "Such a good girl" Seungcheol coos as he kisses your forehead. "Were gonna move now okay" "Please" you choke out. With out another words Mingyu is pulling out slowly till just his tip is in you. As he pushes back in seungcheol begins to pull his cock out of your pussy till again just the tip is in you. They work in tandem when one pulls out the other thrusts in so you are never empty. It doesn't take long for them to pick up their pace.

"Fuck yesss right there please" you cry out, your body jilting with each thrust of their cocks. "Yeah, you like this pretty" Mingyu asks as he grips your shoulder. "You like being full of our cocks huh princess" Seungcheol ask's. You nod your head feverishly. Your hips rolling in time with their thrust's, your breasts jiggling with each push as they are smashed against Seungcheol's chest. His hands come around your body, one palm on each of your ass cheeks as he pulls them apart, spreading you open for Mingyu. "Fuck dude" Mingyu moans out, his eyes watching as his cock disappears inside of you "She's swallowing me so well" His hips slamming into your ass with each thrust. "I know" Seungcheol says looking up at him "I can feel you inside her" he grunts out. "Harder" You cry out "Please harder" your hands gripping Seungcheol's shoulder as the boys thrust up harder and harder into you. 

"Fuck princess" Seungcheol grunts "Your clenching around me so tight I'm not gonna last much longer" "Me either pretty" Mingyu adds in "Your ass is so tight" You sit up and lean back, your back now met with Mingyu's chest. Your hands coming up to twist and pull on your nipples in Seungcheol's face. "Fuck yeah just like that baby girl, play with yourself for us. Show us how bad you want us" He grunts out as you play with yourself for them, Mingyu's head resting on your shoulder watching you. "Open" he says as he reaches his hand forward and places two fingers in seungcheol's mouth, coating his fingers with his saliva before pulling them out and trailing them down to your puffy clit. He presses into your sensitive bud and starts to rub circles. Your body begins to jerk. "oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!!" you chant as your body rushes toward another orgasm. Seungcheol leans forward pushing your hand away before latching his mouth onto your nipple. Sucking it into his mouth before gently clamping his teeth down on it and flicking it with his tongue. 

Thats all you need. You vault over the edge. Your body convoluting above them as both of your holes contract and squeeze them. Their names spilling from your lips in a mantra of need. "Oh fuck" Mingyu cries "I cant hold it anymore, I'm gonna cum" His thrusts start to falter. "Where do you want me to cum pretty" he grunts out, very obviously trying to hold off his release. "In me" you whine "please want both you to fill me up" "Shit" you hear Mingyu whines as his hips slam into you and still. You can feel him twitching inside of you as he paints the walls of your asshole white with his cum. The sensation of feeling Mingyu's cock twitching through your thin walls sends Seungcheol over the edge to. "fuck, fuck, fuckkk" he grunt out as his hips still as well. He dumps ropes of hot cum deep into your tight cunt. "Holly shit" he breaths out into the side of your neck. 

Mingyu grips your hips as he slowly eases himself out. You hiss at the soreness left behind. "I'm sorry" he says as he's pressing light kisses onto your back and shoulder blades. "Its okay Min'" you breath out. You grip the back of the couch as you begin to lift yourself up off of Seungcheol, his hands coming to your hips to help you unsheathe his softening cock from your pussy. He guides you back down onto his lap, cradling you as he grabs a blanket to wrap around you. You nestle your head into the crook of his neck as he hugs you to his body. Mingyu coming to sit next to you, rubbing your back. "You did amazing Y/N" Seungcheol says as he kisses the top of your head. 

"Yeah, you took both of us so well" Mingyu adds. You look up smiling at both of them. "I'm so glad I have the both of you" you say to them. "For as long as you want, right Seungcheol" Mingyu says before kissing your cheek "Right" Says Seungcheol "Min', why don't you go start a bath for her so she can relax, while I go heat the oven, I'll make cookies" He smiles up at his friend before he left the room. Seungcheol lifts and places you on the couch gently before exiting for the kitchen. There you sat naked, with both your roommates cum leaking out of both your holes. You smile to yourself, realizing the next roommate night was your night to pick the activity, and you knew exactly what the three of you would be doing.

[midnite-c6]

hear me out — nam-gyu is actually soooo icky. i don’t care what anyone tells me. he’s a icky icky man. he’s so fucking mean too. he thinks of women as possessions (he’s sooo misogynistic. you can’t convince me otherwise) like what do you mean women are their own person and can control their own lives?! no…. they are possessions!

additionally, he is sooo convincing with his words — he can get anyone to trust him quite easily (especially if they’re naive) and he’s taking full advantage of that.

honestly nam-gyu probably has anyone naive trying things they were always against. he has such a way with words when it comes to getting anyone to open up or doing what he wants them to do. he'll give them everything they need to get them to say yes even if it means making promises he doesn't even plan to keep or fulfill.

also, no one can convince me otherwise that this man doesn’t have a thing for trad wives. he definitely likes the idea of codependency and the fact that someone clings to him like a second skin (but let’s be honest, he definitely doesn’t make it out to seem like he likes it — it’s always constant degradation from him: “stupid bitch, can’t ever do anything for yourself, huh? i have to do everything for you”). also likes the idea of baby trapping, because you can’t leave him ♡ but 100% does not like kids.

i also can see him fetishizes the FUCK out of lesbians (once again… this man is ICKY) and i definitely feel like if he was the type to get into a relationship with someone who is bisexual (or closeted lesbian. specifically if he coerces them) he would exploit the shit out of it. bro definitely has a premium subscription to ph. constantly doom scrolling to find something he hasn’t watched yet (specifically lesbians or threesomes (two girls, one guy) it’s definitely one of his biggest fantasies. he is soo gross ♡)

he would probably likes giving some naive, lightweight (never done drugs before) drugs that he knows they wouldn’t be able to handle just so he they can take advantage.

I AM GOING INSANEEEE. i am clawing and gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

warnings: 18+, DARK content, dubcon, baby trapping

bro i am so sorry i haven't let this out to the public sooner, this is so good and factual fr 💔 like this guy is an misogynistic incel honestly, idfc what anyone else says, u literally can see it in the show how he treats se-mi. he's a meanie.

THE PH SUBSCRIPTION IS SO REAL. also, forces or not, makes u watch porn with him, the disgusting ones like heavy bondage/bdsm, prolly whilst sticking a wand vibrator on ur clit in a setting that's intense BUT wont make u cum so its pure torture..

guys has anyone done se-mi x reader x nam-gyu ? like hello? hello????? ITS RIGHT THERE prolly would watch u & se-mi whilst he's cucking himself. or he's right in the middle of the action, both ur pussies rubbing on his dick.

also, i love nam-gyu corruption kink, to someone whos absolutely clean, pure, law abiding citizen, prolly doesnt even know half of the kinks or stuff u see in pornhub, BUT THAT'S WHY NAM-GYU EXISTS!! to teach you allat, to corrupt u :^

i just dont feel like hes a good person at all, in smut mindset, and in fr the character, hes those toxic bfs who's only "strong" cuz u're just a lil bit weaker than him. and if u try to leave, nuh-uh, u can't, u wanted a child to begin with right?

"fuck you mean, 'i'm leaving you'? bitch please," he scolds, pumping another load inside- straight to your womb, "you wanna be a single mom?" you shake your head immediately, you were on birth control.. but maybe not... oh no! "then don't bullshit me with saying you're 'leaving me'... you know you love me." let's just hope he'll be a good dad... (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

if anyone needs a fluffy lovey namgyu smut this aint the place.. jk, i would prolly post one too heheh <3 also, now i wanna make a full on incel!nam-gyu x reader smut mannn

[emcapi]

I know this absolutely doesn't solve the wider systemic issue, but I highly recommend learning to cut your own and your friends' hair. It's easier than you think!

All you really need to get started:

Shears (necessary even for very short/buzzcut hair, you may end up with a few straggler hairs especially around the ears or patches that need manual evening out)

Thinning shears (VERY important - these let you do layering and texture super easily, make cuts look professional by softening blunt/choppy edges, and they can also salvage a lot of mistakes by blending them into the rest of the hair)

Electric clippers if you're doing buzzcuts or undercuts (If you can afford it, get the ones a step up from the most basic model, because the cheap ones suck and you'll end up going over the same spot 5 million times trying to get it even; I have a Wahl Elite Pro which is about $70, includes a pair of shears, and has paid for itself many times over)

Fine-toothed comb

Spray bottle (keep hair damp while cutting to make it easier to manage)

Set of hair clips (critical for bangs, undercuts, or different length sections)

Large hand mirror (Use together with wall/bathroom mirror to see the back of your head. It works best to have your back to the big mirror, hold the hand mirror in front of you, and adjust to get the right angle.)

I've been exclusively cutting my own hair for 8 years now, almost entirely self-taught, with both long and short styles. I won't lie, it's kind of scary at first! But if you fuck up, you can fix it yourself, and it'll grow out again, or you always have a professional stylist as a last resort. Most people won't notice the difference between a passably well-done DIY cut and a professional one (and if you do somehow fuck up beyond repair, you can always lie and say you went to a place that botched it).

And once you have the hang of it, the advantages are huge. No more dealing with hairstylists misunderstanding (intentionally or otherwise) what you want. No more spending money on haircuts, or dealing with executive function barriers to making or keeping appointments. And once you've found a style that Works for you, you can get really good at recreating it!

Again, this is not the same thing as fixing the systemic issue. But I for one absolutely love having full autonomy over my hair, and I'm here to tell you that if you've ever considered cutting your own hair, give it a try. It's absolutely worth it.

the thing about having long hair especially if you are a girl/perceived as one is people act like they will be personally offended if you cut it. INCLUDING! hair stylists who you are paying to cut it. double it if you have blonde/red/ginger/curly/etc hair. like the lack of autonomy ive been allowed to feel about my hair, even when its subtle still has me afraid to go to the stylist and ask for the haircut im paying to get.

[blond3ang3l]

🍰 Stalker eren! And his pretty best friend 🍰

Dark content!- stalking, very perverted Ren, reader being recorded without knowing

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Eren loved you truly more than you could ever imagine. He always had feelings for you. How could he not? You were the cutest ditzy person he had ever met. But that was the kind of thing he needed to keep him grounded. Someone so bubbly that brought joy to his very angry life.

He hadn't meant to start being obsessed with you honestly! He didn't even know how it happened, he just found himself constantly staring at you whenever you two hung out. And staring turned to touching. Touching turned to constantly watching all of your social media. That was the least concerning thing though.

Unbeknownst to you your "best friend" just so happened to love breaking into your room. He always tried to leave things the way they were, just wanting to be there because it smelled so much of you but he couldn't help himself! His hands always found their way to your drawer or dirty clothes. Taking the first pair of underwear he could find. He would bring them to his face as he took in the smell. He was practically rock hard just off of that alone. His long hair fell over his face as he peeled his sweatpants down as well as his boxers freeing his heavy dick. A hiss left his lips as he wrapped the underwear around his tip, collecting all the precum that already started to leak.

The only thing that filled the room was the sound of his grunts and the whispers of your name. Your underwear practically soaked with how much his dick was leaking. His mind painted a picture of you, pretending it was your pretty hand wrapped around his dick instead of his own. A pathetic almost whimper fell from him at the thought. His hips bucked into his hand harshly, eyes rolling back as he finally came. It wasn't the first time he done this, definitely wouldn't be the last either.

You had noticed some of your stuff missing and confined in him that you were a little scared. And what did Ren do? Well get you a gift of course! He wanted his best friend to always be happy. The cutest white bunny plushie was what he got you. Ren couldn't help himself though. He hadn't told you but the plushie had his favorite way to stalk you yet. A little camera inside. Whenever he came over he placed it right so it'd face your bed. Catching every single moment you spent on there. When you'd sleep, when you'd wake up, and more importantly whenever you'd fuck yourself dumb.

Eren was just getting home from doing yet another tattoo when he decided to check the cameras and to his surprise he had perfect timing. He watched as you pushed back on to the pink dildo you had "jokingly" bought when you two hung out last time and went into Spencer's. Tears falling down your cheeks as you felt an ache of need. It wasn't the same as if someone else was fucking you. No one's hands touching you or whispering dirty words in your ear, giving you praises for how you were riding the you. Eren could think of many at that moment. He was mesmerized by what he was seeing.

The way your hands ran up your body as if you were trying to mimic what you wanted someone to do to you. Groping your chest, slapping your ass, wrapping your hand around your throat, he wanted to do all of the shit you were doing to yourself. Watching your ass bounce, seeing you grip on to your sheets for support, the way you threw your head back whenever you felt the toy graze that one spot that no man ever seemed to hit. Maybe eren would have to change some shit around next time he slept over...

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This was way different than what I planned. Should this be a series?

@merakidoll for you girly!

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Soulmate(s) | Part 2

Genre: smut, angst, fluff

Word Count: 7.1k

Summary: In a world where you get the name of your soulmate tattooed on your skin the night you turn 21, there should be no reason to even think about fucking around with anyone else. Why would you when you know that the perfect person who is made just for you is somewhere out there waiting for you to find them? 

So how the hell did you end up messing around with your two best friends and what are you going to do if neither of them ends up being your soulmate or worse, what if one of them is your soulmate?

Warnings: fem!reader, soulmates au, this is not a light fic, there will be backstabbing and manipulation, sub!soobin, dom!gyu, switch/gyu, handjob, cunnilingus, blowjob, tit-fucking, cumming all over oc lol

____________________________

Beomgyu and Soobin have been trying to convince you to hook up with them again since you’ve last done it, something you’ve been very hesitant to do. You’d only really meant to kiss Soobin. You didn’t mean for Beomgyu to get involved or for things to go this far, but it seems you’ve opened Pandora's box now as the two boys have only become bolder and more insatiable since then–begging and pleading you to join them every time you were alone together. 

Yes, join them, as they clearly have not been waiting for your permission to continue their forbidden rendezvous, and they’re making sure you know. Like right now, you were supposed to have your regular movie night together but none of you were paying any attention to the movie. The two boys are loudly kissing on the couch as Beomgyu’s hand moves under Soobin’s pants– the wet sounds of their kissing and their heavy moans and grunts would make it impossible to hear the movie if you were even trying to. 

But you’re not, and you can’t pretend you are. They can clearly see the stern frown you’re throwing at them, but they don’t care, Beomgyu’s face buried in the older boy’s neck as he jerks him off in his pants. 

Soobin whines your name out, the plea clear in his voice, and it would make you wet if you weren’t already soaked. “Come here, please. I want to kiss you.” 

Ugh, the siren call. It was one thing for Beomgyu to beckon you towards this sin with his smirking face and cocky attitude, but it’s another thing entirely for your good little Soobin to so sweetly, so cunningly, try to break your inhibitions. No, he’s not sweet or innocent. He knows what he’s doing and it’s fucking working. 

Beomgyu lifts his head from Soobin’s wet neck to level you with his heavy gaze as he pulls Soobin’s cock out of his pants. “Come on, baby, look how much he needs you.”

You can’t help but rub your thighs together. Damn them. Damn them to hell. 

“It doesn’t look like he needs me. Looks like you’re taking care of him all right on your own.” You impress yourself by being able to speak through your completely parched throat. 

“Yeah, but I’m sure he’d like it extra hard if your pretty mouth was on his cock.” At this, he twists his hand around Soobin’s head and the older boy cries out. “Yes, please, please, want it.” 

“Shut up.” You curse him under your breath as your hand finally moves between your legs to soothe the burning need there. You’ve watched them do this way too many times now. It burned you with both need and jealousy because, damn it, you want to be with them too but it’s wrong! You can’t do this. You need to stop it and remain loyal to your destined soulmate. 

But like a vulture, Beomgyu jumps at the first sign of weakness from you. “Oh, baby, don’t be like that.” He tugs on your arm, pulling it away from your pussy, making you almost growl at him. How dare he?! Hasn’t he tortured you enough? 

But you don’t get the chance to chew him out because he pulls you onto his lap, your back facing his front and his very hard cock pressing against your lower back, his large warm hands on your inner thighs and the precum from Soobin’s dick sticking to your skin. 

“Let us take care of you.” He purrs in your ears, his hands massaging your sensitive thighs, so close yet so far from where you need him the most. You try to close your legs but he doesn’t let you, and you can’t fucking think with his hot breath on your skin. “Let us make it stop hurting.” 

“Fucking asshole.”

He laughs at your response, one of his hands getting impossibly close to your pussy. “Is that a yes?” 

“Just get it over with.” 

Now you know Beomgyu would’ve liked a more enthusiastic response than that but you also know that he’ll take what he can get, and after weeks of begging and whoring around, he finally gets to touch you, his long fingers pressing over your covered slit. 

“Fuck. You’re so wet.” He moans, greedily pushing your shorts to the side so he can fully feel how wet you really are, his fingers easily gliding over your wet lips, and you keen, your back arching at the sudden intense stimulation. 

“I hate you.” You still put up your act, but Beomgyu doesn’t care, just focusing on breaking you down on his fingers. And break you do, gushing out even more slick as he alternates between rubbing your clit and sliding his fingers up and down your pussy. 

You almost forget that you’re not the only two people there for a second, too lost in the intense pleasure, until Soobin whines and you see him moving out of the periphery of your vision to take center stage on the floor in front of you. 

“Can I try it now, Beommie?” The older boy’s hands sear your skin as he pushes your thighs further apart and presses his face right between them. You shriek, reflexively attempting to close your legs once again at the embarrassing and exposed position you’ve found yourself in but you stand no chance against the two boys splaying you open for their pleasure. 

“You’re scaring her, idiot.” Beomgyu snaps at Soobin but you can see that the older boy is only half listening, too focused on the way Beomgyu’s fingers continue to play with your pussy. “Should’ve waited a bit.” 

“But I can’t wait any longer!” Soobin whines and you crane your head to try to catch Beomgyu’s eyes. “Wait for what? What are you two shits planning?” 

Beomgyu uses the opportunity of you turning your head towards him to steal a quick kiss from your lips. “Binnie just wanted a taste. He’s been talking about it nonstop. Will you let him have a little taste?” 

Your eyes widen. “You’ve both lost your minds. You really think I’ll let him do that? You’re both perverts!”

Soobin starts loudly whining, attempting to plead his case, attempting to convince you that he–the man with his dick out at your feet and begging to eat you out–is not a pervert. But Beomgyu snaps at him, shutting him up. 

“Forget it. You ruined it. She doesn’t want it.” He hisses at the older boy who amazingly cowers back and shuts up. “Here, this is enough for you.” He takes his hand off your pussy and pushes the wet fingers against Soobin’s pillowy lips. You gasp as the other boy immediately opens up to suck them in, moaning out obscenely as if it’s the tastiest sweet he’s ever had. 

“Beomgyu!” You cry out, pulling his hand away from Soobin and making them both protest. 

“Why?!” 

“Come on, let him have this.” 

“You’re both disgusting.” 

“What’s disgusting about wanting to taste our lover?” Beomgyu asks, and you shiver at the word–lover. Are you lovers? Why does that word make your heart flutter so much? “You must’ve seen the educational tapes. This is a perfectly normal part of pleasuring your mate, just like if you were to suck his cock.” 

“Oh, I would not do that. No way.” Your face flushes heatedly as you vehemently deny you’d do such a dirty thing. “It wouldn’t even fit…”

You know cunnilingus is a normal sex act but it feels too intimate to share with someone who isn’t your soulmate–with your two fucking best friends. 

“Now you’re just being a tease.” Beomgyu growls, eyes darkening at your choice of words. 

“Please,” Soobin inches closer to you again, his big bunny eyes staring up at you as his plush lips stop centimeters away from your needy pussy, so deprived that even his breath makes you shiver. 

You’ve already done so much together. Would it really be so bad to let him do this? He seems to really want it, and you can’t deny the fact that you want it too. They’ve both teased you way too much already. Why are you teasing yourself? 

“Okay.” 

“Oh, than–” You can’t even hear the rest of his appreciation as it gets smushed against your lower lips. 

“Fuck.” You curse lowly, feeling a strange mixture of awkwardness and pleasure as Soobin finds his way around your pussy–first very clumsily but slowly getting more deliberate, guided by the boy behind you. 

“Slow down.” He tells him when Soobin gets too rowdy, “Flatten your tongue out. Focus here.” He instructs as if he’s done this before and somehow it’s working. You’re slowly but surely feeling your high build up. 

“How the fuck do you know so much?” You grit out, asking Beomgyu. 

“I watch the videos a lot.” He admits easily, referring again to the education videos all of you are provided when you get closer to your 21st birthday so you’d know what to expect when you finally meet your lover. “Wanna make sure my soulmate will be thanking their lucky stars they ended up with me.” 

You roll your eyes. Yeah, right. The pervert probably is just using them to get off every night if what you’ve witnessed of his libido these past few weeks is any indication. “I don’t remember the educational videos containing such filth. Are you sure you haven’t been watching those soulmateless degenerates instead?” You accuse, referring to the taboo tapes sold secretly by some of those who have either never gotten a soulmate or have lost them in one way or another.

In a society such as your own, where almost everyone has a second half, those without their fated partners end up being shunned. They simply freak people out. After all, why don’t they have someone? What is so wrong with them that the universe has chosen to curse them to a life where they’ll never know the touch of true love? 

Even still, not all of them start out totally isolated. After all, they were once just like all of you with loving families and supportive friends before their terrible fates were revealed on the very day that was supposed to be the happiest day of their lives–expecting to be given eternal love and instead finding themselves with a gaping hole in their hearts that is only fated to grow bigger and bigger every passing day.

Their loved ones may try to cheer them up. They may try to convince them that they could still lead a normal life. They try to pretend that nothing has changed, but everything has changed. Their lives could never be the same after that. They know it and everyone around them knows it too. They would never be in love. They would never marry and have a family. They would never know what it’s like to finally feel whole. And it slowly gets to them. The older they grow, the bigger the gap in their heart grows and they begin to resent those around them. They begin to begrudge those who have what they never will. They turn angry and bitter and they start lashing out at the very people who tried to help them. 

They start to seek out the passion that is missing from their lives in other places. Some turn to drugs, some turn to sex and some take on dangerous and risky jobs just to feel alive. They may even come to gain some respect and prominence in society depending on how they choose to chase those thrills. But it would never be enough. They would always have to do more and more to get even a fraction of the natural bliss that comes from finding your soulmate and knowing you’re finally home, and they start losing themselves bit by bit, chasing even riskier and riskier highs until they burn out. 

You shudder at the thought. That is your worst fear. To be left abandoned by the universe. 

You’re thankfully torn out of your gloomy thoughts when Beomgyu unceremoniously pulls your shirt up over your chest to expose your breasts which he cups in his hands and expertly kneads, massaging the soft flesh and pulling at your pebbled nipples. 

Instantly, pleasure floods your brain and drowns out the scary thoughts until all you can think of is how strong and solid he feels against you, how his long sure fingers touch you so well, and how sexy his deep voice sounds in your ear as he continues to instruct Soobin on what to do. 

“Fuck.” You cry, arching into his touch, throwing your legs wider apart and inadvertently pushing your pussy against Soobin’s face, his nose brushing against your clit and causing a spasm to go through your body. “I’m close. Don’t stop.” 

Through blurry eyes you see Beomgyu grab Soobin’s hair and push him even further against your pussy, rubbing his face against you as the older boy excitedly lets his tongue flick between your lower lips, filling the room with an obscene wet noise that rises even louder than the ringing in your ears. 

“Soobinnie, fuck!” You groan and Beomgyu nips at your neck, lightly grazing the skin of your neck with his teeth, careful not to mark you, and pinches your nipples between his fingers, pulling your orgasm right out of you. 

“Yes, yes, I’m cumming!” You scream out, your orgasm ripping through your body as both boys ruthlessly continue playing with you, not letting up until you start tearing up. “Enough, enough, too much.” 

Beomgyu is the first to stop. It takes him pushing Soobin away for the other boy to stop too–whether not caring or not hearing, you don’t know, but when he is detached from your pussy, you see how his entire lower face is now covered in your slick–his pretty lips even bigger and puffier from the activity. 

“Shit.” You mutter under your breath and Beomgyu laughs. 

“He's so good, isn't he baby? Those dirty lips were made just for this.” He pulls Soobin's head back to run his thumb over his wet lips. “He’s got a mouth that can drive you crazy, huh?”

Beomgyu's the one who’s got a mouth that can drive you crazy. Though Soobin has done most of the work, it’s Beomgyu's constant filth in your ears that worked you up so much. It’s like he can get you both to do anything and it scares you. 

What if you end up cursed because you’ve gotten greedy and chose to seek out the pleasure and intimacy that is supposed to only come from your soulmate from someone else? 

“This is so wrong.” You slur and Soobin frowns, pulling your leg down so he can place your foot over his hard cock, blissfully oblivious to the turmoil happening inside your brain. “It would still be wrong after you get us off.” 

You glare at him as Beomgyu bursts out laughing behind you. “Fucker.” 

“He’s right, baby. It’s unfair to say this after we’ve already gotten you off.” He grinds his cock against your ass and you hate how that still makes you burn. “I said it from the start, asshole.” 

“Well then it won’t make a difference if you get us off too.”  

He slips out from under you to stand up in front of you, pushing his shorts down and shamelessly giving his hard cock a few pumps right in front of your face. “Look how hard you got me with your pretty little moans.”

“You're disgusting.” You scoff but Soobin also rushes to his feet, his own cock already out ages ago. 

“Me too. Wanna feel your touch too. Beommie is too mean. He always teases too much.”

At the mention of their previous hookups you get jealous again. They have done so much without you it’s not fair. What if one of them is your soulmate and you’re missing out on all your first experiences together because you won’t join them. You know you like them both, and you know they like you too. Soulmates can feel a connection even before the names are revealed so it’s not unlikely that one of them is destined for you. 

At least that is how you justify to yourself the jealous drive that prompts you to reach out to grab their cocks, one in each hand, jerking them off slowly but firmly. 

“Fuck yeah.” Beomgyu groans, throwing his head back slightly in pleasure but keeping his eyes on you

“Your hands are so small.” Soobin marvels and Beomgyu adds, “And so soft.” 

You blush, feeling shy under their intense gazes. You try to fix your clothes to cover yourself up but they immediately protest. 

“No, why? You look so sexy.” Soobin cries, grabbing your hand and putting it back on his cock. 

“Come on, it will get us off much faster seeing your pretty tits out like this.” Beomgyu spews filthily, and you glare up at him, but he just smirks. “Fuck, you’re even sexy when you’re angry. Wonder how much better you’ll look with your face covered in my cum and your tits covered in Soobin’s.” 

The older boy squeaks at that, pushing his hips forward so the head of his long cock brushes against your nipple, smearing a light sheen of precum over it. 

“Soobin!” You gasp, glaring at him, but Beomgyu cups your face and turns it towards him. “Come on, baby, let him have his fun. He’s been so good to you, hasn’t he? Eaten out that pretty little pussy so well, yeah?” He drawls out, his thumb brushing over your lips. 

You get so pulled in by his heated gaze that you let Soobin do what he wants, rubbing his cock again and again across your tits while Beomgyu pushes his thumb into your mouth. 

“Good girl. You wanna be such a good girl for us, don’t you?” He purrs, completely enchanting you somehow. He uses his thumb in your mouth and his grip on your face to make you nod and you let him. How is he so good at this? And why are you letting him? 

“Wanna try your mouth.” He pleads, taking his thumb out of your mouth and gliding the head of his cock over your lips instead. You feel the wetness smear over them and your tongue instinctively peaks out to clean it up, in the process coming into contact with Beomgyu’s cock and making him gasp out in need. “Please.”

If you had planned to refuse him before, you couldn’t after seeing how weak and desperate just that little touch made him. You’ve been fantasizing about seeing him break again since that last time. He just looks so pretty when he loses it. 

“Just the tip.” You say and he curses. “Fuck, okay, baby, anything. Need it so bad.” 

And he pushes in. Just the tip as promised, but you feel like even that fills up your mouth. You wrap your lips around his head and press your tongue against the slit to lap up his precum like a lollipop. It immediately drives him mad and he throws his head back and cries out like a desperate slut. It makes you want to push him more and more so you intensify your efforts, hollowing out your cheeks and swirling your tongue around the head, watching his whole body shake as you suck and lap at the head of his cock. 

“Fuck, fuck, you’re gonna make me lose it.” 

“Hey, no fair, we promised to share her.” Soobin’s whine jolts you out of the spell Beomgyu cast on you and your turn your head towards him to see him try to push his cock towards your mouth too. 

You take your mouth off Beomgyu, making him growl and snap at Soobin. “What the fuck, man? I was so close!” 

“Beomgyu, play nice.” You scold him, secretly loving the fact that they’re fighting for your attention. Those two have made your life a hot hell for the last few weeks with their little lewd shows. They made you horny and jealous and frustrated and you love giving them just a little bit of that energy back. And secretly you’re happy and relieved that they want you too–that they have not just found each other and abandoned you–that you still have a chance with one of them. 

“Binnie, I thought you wanted to fuck my tits.” You purr, repeating Beomgyu’s choice of words and making the tall boy shudder and his eyes grow heavy. Those boys really are suckers for dirty talk, huh? 

“Yeah but Beomgyu–”

“No buts.” You tighten your hand around his cock and pull him forward, pressing his cock flush against the middle of your chest and shutting him up. “Press my tits together so you can fuck them nice and hard. Don’t want you to stop until they’re covered in your cum.”

Soobin sucks in a sharp breath and rushes to do as you ordered, grabbing your breasts in his big hands and pressing them together before going off at a rough choppy pace. 

You feel a harsh tug at your hair as Beomgyu turns your head back towards him, your eyes meeting his narrowed ones, but as you open your mouth to chastise him for his roughness, he pushes his cock back in your mouth. 

You attempt to say something but with his incessant grip at the back of your head and his sloppy thrusts into your mouth, all that comes out is a wet garbled mess. Soon, you give up, just letting your two best friends use your body to get off, their tall frames looming over you and their filthy gazes eating you up as one fucks your mouth and the other fucks your tits. 

You feel so dirty yet so hot, and in that moment you understand the urge that drives those without soulmates to seek such lurid pleasures. If they end up together and you end up alone, you can see yourself falling victim to these desires. You just love them both so much, it scares you. You want them to be yours, and that terrifies you. Only one of them could be your soulmate. Neither of them could be your soulmate…

“Ah, I’m so close.” You hear Soobin whine. You try to look at him but Beomgyu doesn’t let you. Instead you see him reach out of the corner of your eyes to wrap his hand around Soobin’s cock and jerk him off fast, quickly pushing him over the edge. 

You can’t see it but you know he has cum when you hear the breathy shouts of your and Beomgyu’s names and feel his hot cum splattering across your chest. You whine around Beomgyu’s cock and start resisting the way he’s moving you over his cock as you feel your jaw becoming sore and your lips getting bruised. 

He sighs, letting you pull away a little bit, drool following behind his swollen length out of your mouth and down your chin and his hand as he grabs his cock it with the same hand he used to jerk Soobin off so he can now pump his own cock inches away from your face.  “Ready for it, baby?” 

Your mouth is so numb you can only muster out a little whimper that makes Beomgyu curse under his breath and his grip falter over his cock as he loses it, his cum shooting out in thick, white ropes over your face. You instinctively close your eyes, wincing as the warm sticky substance lands on your face. 

“No, look at me.” Beomgyu growls, tugging at your hair, the sting making your eyelids crack open slightly to lock eyes with Beomgyu and witness the last of his orgasm. “Good girl. Such a good girl.” 

“Fuck, that is so hot.” You hear Soobin mutter and the unmistakable wet sound of his hand moving over his spent cock as he watches Beomgyu treat you like a fucktoy. 

You feel so filthy–sitting there with your shirt pulled up and your shorts pushed to the side, exposed and absolutely covered in both their cums while they stare at you as if they’re not even close to having their fill. 

And you’re not either. God help you but you know that this is just the start. You’ve been pulled in and now you don’t think you can resist them anymore. 

This is bad. This is so bad and you know it won’t end well. 

______________________________

A/N: second chapter here, still not much plot but it will come I swear lol. the fics I have rn are so different, one only plot so far and one only smut. anyway let me know how we're feeling

[saeist]

"did it hurt?"

"falling from heaven? a little"

"more like crawling out of the depths of hell but okay.." you say under your breath. nagumo gasps and puts a hand over his chest at your implication

"hey, that's mean!" he points a finger at you

you roll your eyes, "i mean your tattoos.. stupid"

nagumo raises an eyebrow, glancing down on his arms before it all clicks. a sly smirk makes their way on his face. he leans in ever so slightly just to mess with you

"oh? so you were looking at me?"

"nagumo, just answer the damn question! did it hurt or not?" you grumbled, facepalming as the man continues without fail to annoy the shit out of you. it was just a basic question yet he couldn't even answer it properly

nagumo laughs plenty, poking fun of your angry face. (that he may or may not like so much) when he finally stops laughing, he wipes the tears of joy from his eyes, shaking his head

"eh, depends but mostly no" he finally answers, showing off his tattoos by rolling up the sleeves of his sweater. "some on my arms i did by myself while the rest were done by a tattoo artist at a parlor"

wait a second, did he just say he did some of his tattoos by himself?

you stopped listening the moment he said that he does some of his tattoos. your eyes dart over his arms, observing the lines of ink permanently etched on his skin. a million questions running through your mind as you stare at them. how long did they take? did it hurt? how did he managed to tattoo himself on both arms precisely and accurately? who is his tattoo artist? how much does he pay for one tattoo? do each tattoos hold a specific meaning?

"hello? earth to y/n?" nagumo waves a hand over your face. you must've been staring at him for a while. "i knew i was a looker but you don't have to ogle me" he teases, chuckling to himself

you finally return to your senses when his words processed in your head. you shake your head vigorously

"i was not!" you deny, crossing your arms

nagumo laughs again, "you were totally checking me out!"

"i will check you out myself at the nearest funeral home. do not test me"

nagumo whistles low, "whoa.. freaky. though you're in luck, i like them like that" he winks

you can feel yourself burn up with how smooth he was with words. effortlessly shutting you up by just playing along. damn you nagumo and your smooth talking!

"you know what? this is pointless. i should've asked rion instead where she gets her tattoos done" you murmured, having enough of this conversation with nagumo. all you wanted was to ask where he gets them done so you could probably get one as well but since he wasn't answering properly then forget it

you turn around to walk away from nagumo, but before you could actually get away from him, he grabs onto your arm, preventing you from walking away

"hold it!" nagumo says, tugging you lightly to make you face him. he holds in another laugh when he sees you glaring at him. "no need to look for rion when everything you need is literally right in front of you" he muses

you raise an eyebrow, "what the fuck does that even mean?"

"i mean i can tattoo you" nagumo says like it was the most obvious thing in the world

you blink once. twice. trying to process what he just said

"what?"

nagumo exhales sharply, rolling his eyes. why couldn't you get the hint?

"i just told you that i did some of my tattoos. so if you want one, i wouldn't mind doing it for you" nagumo explains, taking a good look at your arm. an empty canvas in his eyes. his fingers trace over your skin as if he was already planning what he wants to tattoo onto you

his touch alone is sending sparks all over your body but for some reason, you don't pull your arm away

"let me guess, you're going to tattoo a dick on my arm" you huffed, watching him trace random shapes on your skin

nagumo reluctantly lets go of your arm and puts his hands behind his head as he looks at you, grinning

"maybe. it would be funny as fuck" he shrugs, giggling to himself at the thought of actually tattooing a dick on your arm

"this is why i'm going to rion" you sigh, rolling your eyes yet again. there's just something about talking to nagumo that is so infuriating but at the same time, so endearing

"come on" nagumo drawls, "you and me? matching tattoos? just think about it"

the mere thought of getting matching tattoos with nagumo, who's gonna do it on you just somehow made your stomach flip

what the fuck?

"never in a million years" you scoff, starting to walk away from him. "i'm gonna go look for rion. bye"

nagumo, as sharp as ever, notices the faint blush on your cheeks at the mention of getting matching tattoos with him. he lets you walk away from him with a small smile on his face. he knows damn well that you aren't going to reject this offer

"offer still stands!" he calls out after you, "you know where to find me"

you respond by flipping him off without the need to look back. nagumo bursts out laughing before he carries on with his day

later that night, you find yourself contemplating on taking nagumo's offer. all it takes was a curious cat to get itself killed. you stand in front of a mirror, trying to map out where you would like to get inked

the memory of nagumo proposing of getting matching tattoos echoes in your mind like a broken record. you mentally curse yourself for holding onto the thought of getting something permanent together. it almost feels like its a commitment

you actually can't believe that you're even considering this. from nagumo at that

on the other side of the jcc building, nagumo was sprawled over his bed, busy solving sudoku puzzles when he hears his phone vibrate on his bedside table. he pauses, picking his phone up lazily before he smirks when it was a notification from you

[7:09 PM] y/n :) : hypothetically speaking, if i were to accept your offer of you tattooing me, what would it be?

nagumo grins widely. he knew it. you wouldn't able to resist such offer from him. he immediately types his response not even a minute later

[7:10 PM] nagumo (DO NOT REPLY): hypothetically it would be anything you'd like cus that means you'll have a piece of me on you forever ;) [7:10 PM] nagumo (DO NOT REPLY): so, you down?

[mcu-fan-fics-blog]

Routine V

Mini Series

Wanda Maximoff x fem wife!reader

Summary: Routines can get tiring quickly, especially when you’re the only one working towards keeping them.

A/n: We meet again friends. I am very happy to be updating this fic once more. Also happy to inform that I have found a direction in which to take it!!! I hope you enjoy reading it.

Word count: 1400 approx

She was at a crossroads, there was nothing that she could do to stop you from leaving. She hadn’t stopped pacing the room since you left. That's when she saw it… Her saving grace. Maybe if she did this one thing she could at least open the door if not maybe just unlock it, something. At this point that was definitely better than nothing. Your passport and what looked like important papers were left sitting on the kitchen counter. You had left in a furious haze, something was meant to be left behind. You just didn’t think it would be your passport and work visa. That was the one thing that you thought you had in lock, the one thing that you couldn't forget… And you forgot it. Truthfully you knew that something was missing the moment that you stepped into the car with Kate, but you chalked it up to the stress that Wanda had caused.   

There was a time that anything that remotely felt like a fight was a no go. You never wanted to fight with Wanda, nothing about arguing with her seemed pleasant. In the beginning it was obvious she was scared and all of it was new. You danced around obvious issues the two of you had. One issue was a rather big one being Vision. It was strange their connection. It was something you knew would have easily gone the other way had you not been in the picture. They understood each other; you felt like the odd man out in your own relationship with her. It wasn’t until you exploded one day that the issue was addressed. Thinking back Wanda should have seen this coming. It almost ended the relationship before it really even began. She was tempted to call you, she really was. But she’d just crossed a very big boundary. Instead she texted Kate.

Her text was read almost immediately the text bubble kept appearing but nothing was sent. Wanda instead sent another message. ‘I’ll meet you at the gate, lose Y/n for a minute and I’ll give you her passport.’ She only received a thumbs up and she was on her way. It was high time Wanda started taking action. She wasn’t going to fail you now. 

You were lying. You had no idea where you got the confidence from but it was a complete lie. You loved her so much it hurt. She didn’t read your mind that time and it hurt that she believed you. Tears welled in your eyes, this day wasn’t supposed to go like this. You were supposed to leave peacefully, and now you had no idea what you were doing. She shook you. Wanda came into your life and turned it upside down and now she’s done it again. It was rough. Kate had been fidgety for the past twenty minutes. “Are you okay?” You managed to get the words out. She stilled wide eyed. “Uhm shouldn’t I be asking you that?” You hummed. “Probably… I’m just tired of the same thing over and over again.” You sighed. “There are so many things that I wanted to say. But she was right in front of me and the words disappeared.” Kate nodded, her eyes still fixed on the road. 

“Do you think… that uhm you’ll get back together?” She asked the obvious question. It only made your shoulders deflate more. Not because she asked, “It’s not up to me.” but because of how pitiful the answer was. And it was entirely up to her. You hadn't even been able to bring yourself to draft the papers. The fear that she’d actually sign them still managed to keep you up at night. What if she did, what then? “My heart… it aches constantly. Like something was ripped from me.” Kate cleared her throat. “You’re leaving Y/n… You're going abroad for god knows how long.” You nodded. “How else can I show her what she’s doing to me? Years Kate I’ve put up with it for years.” Kate nodded. “I did not suffer in silence, I let her know at every turn how she was compromising us.” Your words were laced with anger and conviction. And so quickly the sadness gave way to raw anger.  

Wanda felt she should have thought this entire situation out more. Here she was in her car on her way to the airport, filled with hundreds if not thousands of people. And the most daunting part being that you’re unaware. Her mind was already starting to hold her hostage. She made the treck mostly on autopilot. Then there was the whole getting through security, nothing her powers couldn’t handle. Only she somehow couldn’t. She had not felt this lack of control since ultron, she was tripping where she had learned repeatedly not to. It was overwhelming navigating through the masses of people trying to get to their flights, homes, families. Everyone's thoughts traversed constantly. Eventually and not without struggle she had found Kate, near a coffee shop.

“Finally! I thought you’d make this hard for me.” Kate’s words washed right through her. The only thing she could hear now was an angry ring, mocking her. She shook her head softly trying to dissipate the sound. Then she stilled, she could sense it. Her powers out of pure reflex sought you out. And another pang of sadness ran through her. She’d never been able to sense your anger. A slap in the face a testament as to how unwelcome she truly was. A tug at her arm brought her back. She was clutching your passport in her hand. The folder already in Kate’s possession. Kate sighed. “Are you okay?” She relented and finally asked the question. That seemed to snap her out of whatever trance she was in. She let go of the Passaport like it burned her. Kate noticed her distress and asked again. “My powers… are acting up, I'll be fine.” Kate nodded, not fully convinced. 

Kate had decided she’d throw Wanda a life line. She did not think someone could make a change so drastically in a matter of hours. This Wanda that was standing in front of her was not the same one she witnessed yell indignantly at you. This Wanda looked defeated, vulnerable. “She’s still waiting for you…” Kate said. Taking the woman in, and for a moment she wasn’t sure Wanda had heard her. Then tears started rolling down her face. “I don’t think she is…” the words came out tersely and clipped. “She's angry, she has every right to be. That doesn’t change the fact that she’s waiting… so give her time.” Kate sighed, taking a step back. “Fight for her…” She turned on her heel and walked away. Wanda seconds later managed to do the same. Her resolve slowly cemented.

Kate made her way back just as you started looking for her. She looks slightly flushed. Two coffees in hand, a folder tucked in between her arm and torso. Your eyes widened at the sight. “I didn’t even realize I was missing that!” You exclaimed. Taking a cup out of her hand, and the folder at the same time. “Kate, you're a lifesaver.” She nodded, taking a long sip of her drink. Then silence followed, you could have sworn you felt something. It made your heart race. You remembered the familiar feeling. A slight fuzz just out of reach in your mind. You couldn’t help but look around. Could it be, or was it just her lingering in your mind. Then once again Kate brought you back into the present. “Here your boarding group is about to be called.” Kate pulled you up from your seat making toward the line now forming.

Right as your ticket was scanned. She pulled you to the side slightly. “Promise you’re coming back.” You managed a small smile. “I will, I don’t think your mother will keep me away forever.” You joked. Keeping an eye on the people boarding. Kate nodded trying to reassure herself. “You forgot your passport… she brought them here. That's why I was gone for a minute.” Your heart started racing. “I didn’t want to keep it from you.” Then before you could even respond an airline worker was ushering through into the boarding tunnel. The last thing Kate managed to say was for you to call her when you landed. 

A/n: Please leave a like if you liked it!!! Late because I completely forgot to schedule. :(

Tag list: @fxckmiup @username23345 @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​ 

[numberonesnarkfan]

can I just autism at y'all incoherently for a bit. Aite.

I think Harley becomes a bit easier to understand as a character when viewed as a story of generational trauma. When analysing a monster, one has to ask "what could have prevented this?" In Harley's case, it was just... if he had not been so steadily drawn to one conclusion: that there was something fundamental that separated him from humanity.

What are people to someone who was never a person to anyone? He was kept half-alive only to use him, and even before he had done anything wrong, he was never a person to anyone - he existed in others' minds only as what he could supply to them.

The ARG note, "HE TOOK EVERYTHING. I THOUGHT YOU CARED." combined with his boss fight dialogue, "It was supposed to be mine! My recognition!" draws the connection that after sending a young Harley Sawyer away, Elliott took the research Harley had done with him and claimed credit for his discoveries.

Imagine for a moment that you have never been loved. Not by parents or peers or superiors. That they all showered you in praise of your objective talents, but wanted nothing to do with you in any other respect. At every turn, they attempted to find a way to divert your abilities toward their own goals. Others have always blabbered on about connection and harmony - concepts that simply do not exist to you, for you have never experienced them.

You thought you had experienced them. Once. You almost thought you'd found a father. Before he sent you away penniless and took all of your work as his own. Now you know it for certain: connection really isn't real, and everyone else is lying or faking. The only people who have ever pretended to care about you were lying. You may as well be the only person in the world, because you are completely alone on Earth.

Imagine that you believe that love and happiness are truly false lights. Pipe dreams. Would you be able to empathise, see yourself in your fellow man, see your fellow man as a person?

You don't know what it's like to be thought of as a person. So you haven't the slightest idea how one would go about thinking of others as people.

I still will not budge on the fact that Harley genuinely thought he was doing the right thing. But again, if morals are alien to you because you have never been exposed to them, then your 'right thing' looks deeply different to others'.

There are certain lessons that cannot be learned through just the acquisition of information. Harley was never taught any lessons that were not objective - empathy, morals, emotional control. As much as he could be familiar with ethics, he could not understand anything that can't be understood with logic.

All monsters grow from children.

He saw himself as their father. Their mentor. Their saviour. He made them just like him - the only human in the world.

[penvisions]

services requested {chapter four}

Pairing: Kept Man! Joel Miller x Sugar Momma! Reader

Summary: In the aftermath of your explosive interaction with Joel, you decide to get some space. He finds out in the middle of helping Ellie with something by the way of your mother bringing by a set of keys for him. Will he make it to the airport in time to tell you how sorry he is?

Word Count: 8k

Warnings: no outbreak au, modern au, age gap (joel is mid 50's, reader is late 20's / early 30's), reader is more of an oc written in the x reader style, reader is described to have a scar and tattoos, power dynamics, sexual undertones, mutual pining, flirting, casual touches, mutual attraction, light angst, mentions of infinitely (not joel or reader, mentions of past trauma, allusions to power imbalances within the tattoo world, reader is depicted to have a manic anxiety attack, reader is terrified of flying, use of prescription drugs to sooth anxiety, airport rush scene bc come oooooon lol, masturbation (male), i think that's it!

A/N: so i'm moving forward with stuff to prepare for a hip surgery. it's been a long journey of just managing the pain and finally finding an answer to eradicating it. unfortunately, my insurance will not be covering the testing that determines if i'm a good candidate, so that will require me to pick up a few extra shifts. i've linked my kofi if anyone is feeling generous but there is no pressure or need to. dropping this and running to get back to school work, love y'all!

ao3 link || series masterlist || navigation || ko-fi

The first deposit approval is staring you in the face. The payroll website that you use for your assistant and will be using for your own business once it’s all finalized and ready to operate is the only window open on your laptop.

Joel Miller – pending approval

It’s in bold since you haven’t pressed any buttons, any options. Because honestly? You’re at a loss as to what to do. You haven’t heard from the man since he all but berated you nearly a week ago. And the truth is that he had scared you when he did it. The way the whites of his eyes were visible in the faint light coming off of the streetlamps, the way he had raised his voice in almost a growl of frustration, the sheer size of him as he stalked into the house behind you.

Even if you knew, deep down in your very soul- he wouldn’t do anything to physically hurt you.

With a puff of your cheeks, you press a finger pad to the keyboard and press process deposit.

Sighing out your held breath, you move away from the laptop settled atop the desk and continue packing. Joel isn’t the only one going out of town, you reached out to a friend in California to go and work a guest spot at the independent shop they were opening. A break, a little breather to get out of a house all to yourself that you needed work done on to truly make the space yours.

You were too…everything right now to reach out to the man who you just paid to be in your services.

But you didn’t want to bother him, to agitate him, to make him feel any pressure about deciding what to do. Giving him the space and chance to make up his mind was both the polite and professional thing to do in this situation. That’s the comfort you told yourself in regards to your decision on how to handle the circumstances you found yourself in.

You’ve already taken his words and dissected them, going over them with your therapist. And she was right, he was reacting to the combination of outdated information and something from his own life. You want to forgive him, to move past it but it was going to take time, you know that. So you give him the space you know he needs, that you need to. As long as he apologizes, you know your heart will soften through the residual hurt and anger that you’ve already begun to work through.

Joel is staring at the dark screen of the new phone you sent. He’s plugged it in, the little charging symbol flashing at him before it disappears. He’s waiting now, for it to turn on. The code to synch up your schedule onto his calendar on a post it note alongside the password and username combination for him to long into the bank app to see the available funds on the work card you gave him with the contract. He hadn’t used it yet, feeling like he wasn’t worthy of the dollars and cents.

It hits him like a punch to the gut, when he see’s the bold words that spell out a phone call you’ve blocked off an entire hour for:

Case Attorney, parameters of protection. 2pm-3pm.

It’s nestled neatly among consultations and appointments that range from two hours to six hours, reminders to call and check supply orders and the status of the permits he’s already called after to secure timely dates. There are no dates blocked off, even if all there is listed on some appointments for nails, for hair, for everything and anything.

Busy. Always filling your time with something. And it all makes so much sense, if you’ve made a name for yourself, have the funds that you do.

He looks over at the blueprints for the house you finalized on, something you never mentioned until it was all set and done- inferring that this would be one the things he can handle for you in that initial meeting regarding the contract.

You were lonely, must be, he realizes it at the same time he feels it himself. He got so used to the daily conversations and interactions with you, the mundane tasks that didn’t feel so monotonous with you popping in and out of the house while they worked. Even just those first few days after the job was completed, you both continued to see each other. But now…

It’s been nearly a week since he’s seen you, more time since he’s interacted with you- like really, truly interacted with you. Since he yelled at you in your new home, demanded where your husband was and what role he would have in this agreement the two of you made. Joel likes to believe he’s got a level head atop his shoulders, but the truth is that he feels so all encompassing sometimes.

With Sarah, with Elle, with his brother- all three of them pull his heartstrings, strike the match of annoyance and anger, fuel his fierce protective side.

With a sigh, he pulls up your name in his messages. There is no previous thread, nothing transferred from his older phone due to the incapabilities of the new software. He isn’t sure how to reach out so he falls back on being professional. He settles with a summary of the good bones of your house, the suggested work being something he can more than aptly make a reality and then ends the message with a question for the best start date.

But you don’t respond, either busy or sleeping- he realizes the early hour and scolds himself. Of course you’re asleep, it’s only five in the morning. He sighs and looks out the window that his dresser is pushed up against. The sun is barely beginning to peak over the horizon, the sky a deep blue that a few stars shine in.

He startles when his phone beeps where he discarded it on the comforter.

A date, where the samples of what tile and paint you want will be left on the island in the kitchen for him. You’ll be busy with work most days, will probably miss him completely and he doesn’t think anything of it.

Until later that day when Ellie brings you up.

“Hey, I think I saw something about Grey going on a trip online.”

“What?” Joel does an amazing job of keeping his cool at the sudden news, the screwdriver in his hand drops and falls to the floor. Landing in the carpet with a dull thud before bouncing and hitting the top of his bare foot where he’s crouched down and fixing a loose shelf in one of Ellie’s bookcases. He hisses as it thunks, pain shooting across the muscles there and swelling immediately.

“It looks like she’s going to be a guest artist at a new place opening in LA.” Ellie says from where she’s cross legged in her desk chair, laptop open and displaying the piece of art she’s using as a reference for a project that’s due later in the week. She’s in one course this summer, going back to full time in the fall when that time of the year rolls around.

“She would’ve told me if she was going out of town.” At least he thinks you would, how else would he be able to begin working on the renovation of your home?

“I mean…are you sure about that with how things…?” Ellie hesitantly says, her brow furrowed in much the same way that Joel’s does, despite no direct blood relation.

“I…I would hope she would tell me, considering I have the blueprints for her house and the details of the renovation with a start date.” He picks the screwdriver back up and makes sure that his task is complete.

“Have you reached out?”

“…no.” He doesn’t turn to her, despite feeling her eyes on him from across the room.

“Well, there you go.”

“We leave in four days, there’s…”

A knock at the door has him whipping his head in that direction, completely blindsided by the direction of the conversation and someone calling upon him in the middle of the afternoon.

When he swings it open, your mother is standing there with a soft smile. She greets him, dangling a ring with three keys securely looped on it and announces that they’re for him.

“Grey left these for ya, said you’d need them to start on the job when you get back from Philly?” She pins him with a smirk, knowing she’s caught in the middle of something between the two of you. The higher pitch of your voice at the end of her sentence telling him that she’s looking for confirmation.

“Doin’ the reservations on her house.” He entertains her, though she probably already knows if she has the keys in her grip.

“Oh! That’s so lovely, you’ll do an amazing job just like you did with our house, I just know it.” She winks at him, offering the ring to him and plopping it in his palm when he holds it up. “Just make sure to lock the door back behind you and I’m sure she’s left a note of which lamp to leave on so the house doesn’t look empty at night.”

“Noticed she has a lot of late nights, I can definitely do that.” Joel feels his smile begin to melt the longer he realizes that your mother is talking so casually about the way he interacts with her daughter. How he’s watched you enough to notice certain mannerisms and routines.

Lydia stares at him over the threshold. Her sharp eyes finding the cracks in his demeanor, the effects of his harsh words, sleepless nights, and nose to the grind days. Joel’s heart beats steadily as she regards him, racketing up the longer the look lasts but especially when she gasps in the middle of her next sentence.

“She does normally, but- oh dear, she didn’t tell you?” The woman blinks and concerned wrinkles form in her brow and around her nose as she scrunches it in much the same way you do when you laugh.

“Tell me what?” Joel croaks, unable to dispel the anxiety and fear that bubbles up to fill his chest painfully. His breathing shallows as his mind works through all of the worst-case scenarios of you being in the hospital or something happening to you at the shop. His fingers tighten around the keys in his hand, the metal bites into the calluses from wielding tools his entire adult life.

“She’s gone to do a guest spot at a friend’s shop in LA for a few weeks. Manny is dropping her off right now, her flight leaves in a few hours.” Her announcement freezes time completely, Ellie was right. You were leaving without telling him. Running because he gave you a reason to.

“Shit.” He pockets the keys and shoves his feet into a pair of worn cowboy boots. Lydia moves aside quickly, avoiding him as he rushes past. His heart is pounding as he pictures you alone in the airport, swathed in one of the big, chunky cardigans that you favor. Shoving the keys into the ignition, the truck roars to life. Words from a past conversation echoing in his mind.

‘You look over at him and Joel feels his chest tighten as you smile sadly at him, lips barely lifting up.

“My parents are boarding.” He sees in the way you fiddle with your phone, fingers tapping long nails against the case, the way you focus completely on the screen. You’re nervous.

“Long flight, huh?” He set the roller in his grip down into the pan he’s poured a bit of paint in, making sure it’s not going to tip over before he wipes his hands on his stained jeans and gently pulls the phone from your grip. “Ain’t no use hyperfixatin’ on it. How long is the flight?”

“Something insane like fourteen hours. God, I couldn’t.”

“Not a fan of flyin?”

“Honestly? No, it turns me into a nervous wreck, I’d rather drive for three days to get somewhere than take a five hour flight.” You don’t meet his eyes, almost bashful at the admittance. But he watches you, sees the truth behind your words and he wants to pull you into a hug. But that would be a line, so he just reached out a hand to cup your shoulder as he moves around you, squeezing it in a quiet comfort.’

“Her flight takes off at gate 42A!” He waves a hand up through the open window to signal that he hears her shout, and his truck takes off down the street. “It’s a Delta flight!”

Ellie sidles up to Lydia with her arms crossed and a smirk on her lips.

“Oh, he’s got it baaaad.” Your mom says with a sweet laugh. Watching the way his taillights disappear around the street that runs perpendicular to the cul-de-sac.

“You have no idea.” Ellie shoves at her with an elbow, cackling at the way the woman scoffs in mock hurt and places a hand over her heart.

“Oh shut up, I didn’t even get you that hard.” She defends, shaking her head at the antics of her neighbor.

“Ellie, you little shit, I swear I shouldn’t invite you over for dinner. But I have a feeling your lovesick papa is gonna go as far as boarding a plane to fix whatever he did.” She tosses an arm over Ellie’s shoulders and tugs her close.

“Fuck, you’re right. He didn’t leave any money for food.” Her face falls and the words settle in.

“Alright, c’mon- I’ve got enchiladas comin’ out of the oven any minute now. Manny should be back soon too, she never lets us stay with her at the gate. She’s a tough cookie, that girl.”

“She really is,” Ellie makes sure to lock the door behind her and follows you mom across the street. “So what kinda enchiladas?”

Brakes screech as Joel comes to a harsh start in front of the valet stand. The logo for your airline hanging above the designated spot for pull overs and pickups. He jerks the gear shift into park, grabs a flannel from the back and shrugs it on as he rounds the front of the truck. He tosses the keys to the guy who looks up from his phone at the stand.

“Hello, sir, would you like long- or short-term parking today?” Joel pulls his wallet out from his back pocket and hands over his personal bank card. He’ll gladly pay anything out of pocket to mend the damage he’s done. He just wants to get to you before boarding begins. He got stuck in traffic, of course, making his little drive into an hour long deal that had his sighing heavily and hitting his fists to the steering wheel more times than he could count.

“Uh, whatever works. Short term shifts to longer after what- 24 hours?”

“That’s correct, sir.” The attendant tears off a receipt from a small printer, it’s got Joel’s name on it and the type of car he has. He’s ushering a quick thank you before rushing inside and going straight to the boards that show the departures. He whips his head back and forth, sweeping the area for arrows to direct him to the correct terminal that hosts your gate.

He’s just stepped onto the escalator to go up two floors when he spots a flash of sun glinting off of a watch. His chest tightens as he sees you standing out on the balcony for the floor he’s about to reach, putting out the butt of one cigarette and immediately move to light another. He can practically smell the smoke from it mixed with your perfume, and he takes a deep breath before an announcement calling for preboarding for your flight along with two others.

“Shit,” He mutters to himself as he gets to the top of the escalator. There’s a short line to go through security and they’re asking for boarding passes. He mentally steels himself, getting his wallet out and gritting his teeth as he approaches at the motion of the woman at the podium. He’s not the biggest fan of flying either, it’s always too cramped, too stuffy, it makes his anxiety bubble up. But you need him, more than he dislikes the very same thing as you do.

“Hi, I’d like to book a seat on the Los Angeles flight departing from gate 42A, ma’am.”

It’s been a shitty day, your morning client didn’t show up and the person who took the spot for a walk in wanted something too complicated for the time slot you had available. So you settled on a consultation instead. Anxiety steadily builds in your entire body, humming through you more efficiently than caffeine or the nutrient packed meal you had for lunch at your parents to keep you awake and moving. The bag you packed that morning sits beside you as you father drives you to the airport.

“No need to check the car in, when you’ve got me to help ya!”

“Dad, I really wouldn’t have minded. What if my return flight comes in super late or like really early?”

“Well, we ain’t workin’ too much these days, so shut up and drink your smoothie.”

“Well then.” You huff out a nervous laugh, the taste of peaches and passion fruit souring on your tongue as you take a big sip through the plastic straw.

“So,” He glances over at you as he signals to take the exit for the airport coming up in two miles. The highway is busy, right in the middle of the city. The word is drawn out, something riding the undercurrent of it and you look over at him with a raised brow.

“So?”

“Joel’s been a little distant since the remodel.”

“He’s busy, dad, running his own company and all.” You look back out the window, fingers trailing through the condensation on your plastic cup.

“Seems like he’s avoidin’ you, should you be over at ours.” And damn if your dad didn’t hit the nail on the head. You were both avoiding each other, too much brimming and needing to be dealt with but neither of you knowing how to begin to.

“No, we just…had a little miscommunication about the work he’s doing on my place.” A sliver of the truth is all you can offer, a little white lie.

“Hmm, okay. But don’t be too hard on him, he don’t have many people in his life ‘n he seems to have taken a liking to you.” Mulling over his words, you recall the way Joel once said that since his brother became so unreliable, he forfeited his only night out a week to go to the bar and decompress.

“Everything is okay, dad. I promise I’m not getting between you two. Invite him over if you wanna hang out with him.” Regret and guilt bubbles up, you truly didn’t mean to affect the way your parents and Joel interact. They were friends, all of them. You were simply the person who hired him as a handy man, the term kept man a little too close to the truth. But it lingers in the back of your mind. Joel is more than just a handy man, he’s someone who you talked to in the quiet moments and want to take care of.

“Wouldn’t be so bad if you did get between the two of us, never seem him look so…down. Maybe you could take him out to a nice dinner, don’t know when the last time anyone did something’ like that for him. He let’s your mom and me cook for him, sure, but it’s not the same. So stubborn on that front, but I’m sure you could convince him.”

You don’t exchange any more words as he pulls up to the drop off zone. With a kiss to your forehead and a crushing hug, he shoves you toward the entrance with a ‘now get outta here and go do your thing!’.

The nicotine was doing little to calm your nerves, you hated flying with passion.  It was one of the things you didn’t have the guts to handle, even if it was a normal part of life.

You put out the cigarette you just lit when you notice the tremors of your hand shaking it so much the ash rains down onto the concrete of the balcony. You walk as quickly as you can through the main throughfare you know your gate is off of. You’ve got the last boarding group, which gives you enough time to collect yourself. Your intensions of splashing water on your face and taking a few deep breaths completely derails when you see that the bathroom is empty and a sob lurches out of your chest. With shaking hands, you plop your duffel bag onto the wall that backs up to the entrance and lean back against it.

Your head is raised as you try to keep the tears at bay, but they leak out anyway, in hot streaks down your cheeks as you slide down the slick tile and thud heavily on your butt.

With a pounding heart, a heavy weight in your stomach and twitching nerves, you sit there in the bathroom and succumb to the tears. Public setting or not be damned.

The last time you were on a plane had been one of the clearest recollections of what hinted you toward what was going on with your now ex-husband. Someone who normally comforted you and got you through the few flights that had to be taken. The last time though…

‘Micah is staring at his phone as they call for boarding, your group the first due to first class. He said he wanted to treat you, make the ordeal a little easier since your nerves got the best of you. Letting out a deep breath, you go to reach for the strap of your duffel bag and sling it over a shoulder. The tickets are loaded individually on your phones, something that you didn’t think much about.

He’s so wrapped up in whatever is on the screen that he startles when you walk behind him and wrap your arms around his neck to whisper in his ear that they’re calling for your group.

“Jesus, Grey! Don’t be doing shit like that, seriously!” He’s up like a rocket, his phone screen locking. An apology falls from you, claiming you didn’t know he would react so badly. “It’s bad enough you turn into a literal child when it comes to flying, but it doesn’t mean you have to be all clingy and invade my personal space.”

All you can do is nod once, to let him know you hear him and acknowledge what he’s saying. Even if it hurts, even if it does nothing but rachet up the feeling of a balloon inflating impossibly large inside your chest, too big to fill into the small space and making the air in your lungs feel like a monumental task to breath in and out. He doesn’t reach for your hand or usher you ahead of him with a guiding hand on the small of your back. He almost makes it look as if the two of you aren’t even traveling together as he gets into the line, not bothering to wait for you while your boarding pass gets scanned and verified.

He's already seated in the row that will house you two for the next seven hours, a trip out to Philly for the next month. A bottle of water in his grip while he scrolls on his phone with that same concentration as before. And you hate the way that your heart mends a little when the plane begins to glide across the tarmac and Michah reaches over to tangle his fingers in your own.’

You’re so lost in your feelings and memories that you ignore the loud rush of stomping steps that burst into the bathroom. It’s probably just someone who got off of a flight or someone rushing before they board.  

“There you are,” You hear the sudden timbre of Joel’s southern drawl laced voice. Your head whips up to reveal your tear stained face slack in complete surprise.

“J-Joel? What- what are you doing here?” You roughly wipe the sleeve of your cardigan underneath an eye to dispel the wetness from your tears. His face softens from panicked to a sad smile as he kneels down in front of you and runs a hand over your mussed hair, tucking it behind your ear.

“You don’t like flyin’.” He cups the side of your face, thumb wiping the wetness there you didn’t manage to get yourself. You don’t flinch away from him as his eyes meet yours, even if a knot lodges itself in your throat.

“Well, yes, that’s correct but-“ You begin to shake your head, the last words he spoke to you hanging heavy in the air.

“Look, I know, okay? I know things are all out of sorts with us, but you…you needed someone and I’m here.” He’s unprepared for you to launch yourself at him, arms wrapping around his neck and your face burying into his chest. He lets out a little ‘oof’ as his butt makes contact with the tile but wraps his arms around your back all the same. The cherry of your perfume and the smoke from the cigarette fills his lungs and he feels like it’s the first full breath he’s taken since the past confrontation. His scent, spicy and woodsy overwhelms you as you embrace, doing much the same to you.

“You’re so stupid.” You whisper, lips brushing against the soft skin of his neck. The urge to bite into the tan expanse overtakes you and your lips purse at keeping the action securely in your mind.

“I know, sweet girl, I know.” He’s completely serious, his voice barely a whisper in imitation of yours- not wanting to break the fragile moment. You can feel the guilt he carries in the firm way he holds you, in his very breath as you lean against him and move his chest as it rises and falls.

“You bought a flight to get through the line and into the terminal.”

“Guess that means we’re going to LA.”

“You leave for Philly in a few days.”

“Ellie is perfectly capable of flying out from here and I can always fly out from LA. I ain’t worried about that, I’m worried about you.” His confidence in the girl he raised obvious, pride in his tone as he realizes himself that she’s nearly grown as much as she will be.

“Shut up, you’re not real.”

“Real as you are, have a hard time believing it when you’re not around.”

“You can’t possibly be this flirty all the time, it’s not fair.”

“I’m gonna let you get away with sayin’ anything you want right now, cause you’re going through it.” He chuckles, his body shaking yours as he loses his composure at the things you have no filter for.

He’s pulling back slightly, his nose brushing your forehead and down your temple. Your breath hitches as you feel the jump in his heart beating in his chest, your eyes flashing up to meet his. Tension fills the bright room, bouncing off the tile and coursing through the air that almost sizzles between the very little space that separates your bodies. His hands are firm and wide on the whole of your back, fingers flexing as you glance down at his plus lips so- dizzyingly close.

The sound of someone entering the space and a shocked gasp as you jerking away from him suddenly, hands detangling from him as he moves slower to mirror your actions.

“Apologies, ma’am. Little pre-trip jitters is all.” Joel offers you a steady hand to stand, remaining on the floor until you’re back up on your feet, eyes trained on your boots. With a small grunt, he’s standing too and reaching for your bag as the woman scurries to one of the stalls and the lock clicks into place. The light music playing over the speakers pauses to announce the boarding for your flight and you two move together to exit the bathroom.

“It’s gonna be okay, I swear to you.” He’s pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, tickling you as his scruff brushes there. “Now let’s catch our flight.”

Joel watches quietly as you down two of the little shot bottles you purchased from the flight attendant the second she came around with the drink cart. He felt you reach for his hand the moment the plane began to taxi along the tarmac, your grip vice like as the aircraft built speed to take off. He tried not to clamp his hand around yours to give way his own discomfort at flying, wanting to ensure that you were tended to over himself. You were so tense still, your entire body rigid beside him.

He let you get him a bottle of water, though he had yet to crack the seal on it.

The window was closed, his body shieling you on the other side from the aisle, business class only holding two larger seats to a row. You had upgraded his seat and covered the cost so you two could be beside each other and he’s grateful, not even thinking of the original seat he may have gotten.

It’s well into the flight and he sees you bend down to dig into the duffel you insisted at having stored by your feet. The rattle of a pills in a translucent orange bottle draws his eyes from where he focused on cleaning the lenses of his thick framed glasses.

“These might make me a little sleepy, but, um, the rental car is through enterprise and the hotel is through a local place downtown.” He opens the water for you to down two pills, taking a sip before he twists the cap back on, shoulder warming as you lean against him, arm wrapped around his bicep and fingers tangling with his. It’s close, it’s contact, and he hopes you can’t hear the way his heart thuds in his chest as he pictures you doing so under less extreme circumstances. He worries he’s truly messed everything up, but you’re letting him be the support you need and that’s a big step in the right direction to mending what he almost burned down.

“I’ll make sure we get there safely, just worry about keeping calm. I got it, sweetheart.” The soft rumble of his voice sooths you, he knows as soon as your eyes drift shut and your breathing evens out.

Hours later, you begin to stir and feel marginally better. Everything is foggy through your sluggish mind, but you trust Joel to help you unbuckle from the seat as the plane finally comes to a stop after landing.

He does just as he promises, holding you securely to his side as you sleepily follow his guiding movements. The rental desk asks for the card on file and he’s leaning down and murmuring if he can dig it out of your bag slung over his shoulder. Your little hum of approval has him unzipping the side pocket before your voice reminds him that he needs to add himself down as a driver.

“Thank you, you and your wife enjoy your visit!”

The word slaps him in the face even as he tries to smile politely at the woman, turning away from the desk and guiding you over to the car. He secures you in the passenger seat before carefully placing your bag in the backseat.

“Sweetheart, what hotel did you book?” He watches as you pat yourself down, searching for something and then it clicks. Your phone. That’s in his own pocket, you pushed it into his hands back on the plane.

“I’ve got your phone here, Grey. I turned it on after we landed,” Joel hands it over and you blearily look down at the screen, little groans slipping past your lips as you sift through all the notifications to find what you were looking for. You turn it toward him and he sees the reservation, typing in the address listed in his own phone. He’ll text Ellie once everything is settled, more than the ‘landed safe’ he did as soon as the pilot turned off the fastened seatbelt sign.

As he turns the engine and maneuvers out of the parking lot and into the glittering city, he hears your phone ringing as it calls out.

“Hey momma, we made it.”

“Oh good! I assumed Joel managed to catch you, he rushed off so quickly.” Lydia’s voice chimes like tin through the line. “I’ve got Ellie over here, we’re playing monopoly and-“

“It’s late, let her go to bed.” You admonish and Joel smiles to himself at the concern you hold for his daughter thought you’ve yet to meet her.

“I’m fine! Glad you and dad are safe! Tell him he didn’t leave any food money!” Ellie’s loud voice causes you to pull the phone away from your ear and Joel smirks at the sight out of the corner of his eye.

“I think he heard ya, kid.” Your own sleepy smile softens the scene, making it more intimate in the close quarters of the cab. The rest of the call is at an appropriate volume and you assure her that you’ll make sure money gets sent over. As Joel signals to turn into the hotel entrance, you motion to the valet for him to stop at.

“Jus’ wanna sleep.” You mumble as you begin to disrobe, unaware of him freezing by the door as you do so. The skin you expose to him not even a thought as you hang your cardigan on the back of the chair at the desk and move to place your leggings there too. Your baggy shirt and underwear allowing for your legs to be on display, the ink that decorates them catching the low lights left on for those like you with late check ins. The snap of elastic as you unhook your bra is the last thing preventing you from laying down and you move toward the big bed to peel back the covers.

Slipping inside, you don’t even manage to get them over your body before you’re gone from the world and snoring softly.

Letting out the breath caught in his throat, Joel puts down the duffel bag and steps out of his cowboy boots before going into the bathroom. He hangs his head as his hands grip tight to the edge of the vanity in the large bathroom, a bathtub and glass panel shower filling the space. He dims the lights so they don’t sneak underneath the door, though he doubts you would stir at much right now.

He’s hard.

Arousal striking hot like a hook around his navel the second you began to take your clothes off and he feels like an old creep for the way his body chose to respond. You’re vulnerable, someone who trusts him to keep you safe. He wonders if he should go back down to the lobby and book himself a room, but…he doesn’t want to.

The shower doesn’t sputter to life as he turns the nob, it gently rains down instantly hot water and he groans as it runs over his exhausted muscles. He takes his time washing with the supplies already in the stall on a small alcove shelf. The same scent he recognizes from time spent with you, the hotel must’ve stocked your choice of products and he breaths in the comforting mix of lemon, cherry, and rose.

A hand drifts down to where he’s still hard between his legs, soap suds trailing down his body to envelop him completely in your scent and his breath sucks in the moment he wraps a wide palm around himself.

“Fuck.” He whispers, he’s really about to do this with you only one wall away. Fuck, he really is and it only takes him a few strokes before his orgasm blinds him, glittering stars of white clouding his vision as it buckles his knees and pulses out to paint the tiles. He’s panting heavily, the sensation almost too much as he pictures the way your legs looked, completely bare underneath your shirt. The little hint of your ass he got a good view of as you leaned over to pull the covers away from the bed.

The words of that particular clause in his contract float in his mind’s eye and he sucks in a deep breath. A decision on how to traverse that particular aspect of your relationship completely up to him. And god, does he want to keep up the casual and comforting touches, to feel the soft brush of your fingers against his own skin. But it’s okay, there’s time.

Damp and completely relaxed, Joel busies himself setting up the couch for him to sleep on with the extra blankets folded in the closet. He’s about to turn the light own by the side of the bed you aren’t occupying when he hears the hush of the sheets. Looking up, he sees you reaching out to him blindly.

“Come to bed, Joel.”

And damn, if he can’t argue with the soft timbre of your sleep voice and the pout of your lips as you lay in the big bed all alone. He looks over to where his shirt rests on the desk and walks over to shrug it back on before he slides underneath the covers beside you. The small huff of your breath as you doze back off and the gentle smile on your pretty lips eases him into a peaceful sleep.

You wake up to the sound of loud snoring, startling you where you’re curled up in the covers pulled up to your chin. Your eyes snap open as you take in a deep breath, the waking world shocking you as you spy tousled hair on the pillow beside you. Steaked with dark and light greys, but he’s the source of the sound that woke you.

Despite that, you bite down on your bottom lip as you take in the way he kept to his side of the large bed and slide out to go to the bathroom. The shower is amazing, the hot water rinsing away the last of the sleep that clings to you, a combination of the way you worked yourself up and the medication. You’re reaching to wash the conditioner from your hair when a soft knock sounds on the closed door.

“Hey, uh, I don’t mean to intrude, but nature calls.” Joel’s voice calls over the rush of water and you freeze.

“Oh, um, okay. The shower is clear, but it’s fogged up enough-“

“Ain’t gonna look, I promise.” And then the door is opening and Joel’s blurry figure can be seen through the mist. But you do. His hand is secure over his crotch and you realize he’s trying to cover the way his morning wood is tucked into the waistband of his boxer briefs. You quickly look away, arousal zinging through you as you do your best to ignore the sounds of him relieving himself.

He’s careful with flushing and washing his hands, not wanting to affect the temperature of your shower but it doesn’t even register as you do your best to avoid the weight his quick glance puts on your skin before he’s gone- just as quick as he appeared.

The rest of the morning is spent getting breakfast down in the restaurant, the conversation flowing easily as you both go over switching his flight for Philly to leave from LA instead of Austin. Money is sent over to Ellie and as you load up into the rental to hit up some shops for supplies you need to live out of the hotel room, Joel reaches for your hands and holds them gently.

“Hey,” He catches your eyes, the nerves he feels swelling up mirrored in your eyes.

“Joel, it’s okay, really. You- you didn’t know.” You try to pull your hands back and he lets you, curling them back to himself as he watches you switch your weight from one foot to the other.

“No, I didn’t. But I should’ve have come at you like that, it was…it was mighty unprofessional of me to do that. I was in the wrong and you didn’t deserve to catch the weight of how I responded to thinking you were married.” His words are genuine, carrying the guilt he feels over the way things unraveled and you exhale heavily.

“It…it wasn’t good, to hear those words come from you. Those accusations, but I understand how it might have looked, really. I just- Joel, I only ever wanted to help you, please trust me. My- the reason I moved my entire life is huge, and I was going to share it with you when I could find the courage.”

“You don’t have to, even now. I swear to you, your business and past is your own. I just want you to be okay, to be safe. That’s the most important thing.” You step up to him to carefully wrap your arms around his middle and lean up to press a kiss to his cheek despite the flutter in your chest and the slight shake to your hands.

“I’m okay, for the most part. But you’re…Joel, you’re amazing. You really didn’t have to alter your own plans to travel with me and to do everything you have since we left yesterday. I appreciate it, I appreciate you.” His own hands come up around your back to return the embrace, the causal touch lighting you up just as much as seeing him through the fogged up glass paneling of the shower this morning. He’s just so…handsome that it’s a little hard to reconcile that he’s here with you, that he’s feeling more like a friend and less like the man who you initially hired to help you out. The lines blurring the more time you spend with him, the attraction blooming and gaining a heated weight that’s harder and harder to shake from your body.

“I appreciate you too, sweetheart. It’s…it’s okay that I’ve been callin’ you that, right?” He suddenly looks bashful as you step back. And hope swells, that he might possibly feel the same effects as you do being in each other’s space. He’s asking more if everything is okay, you realize, not just the nickname he’s given you and you pause. He’s done so much the last few days, literally coming to your rescue as you fell apart in the very public bathroom of an airport terminal. He’s done more than enough to show how sorry he is and you don’t feel like his words were anything but an immediate reaction to something stemming from his own past. But you don’t push on that, just like he’s not pushing you now.

“Yes, of course.” You assure him, smiling softly as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Now, let’s go get you some clothes for the next two days, yeah?”

“Whatever you want, sweetheart.” The smile he gives you in return is disarming and you feel your stomach swoop.

“Okay, so I got the shuttle times for you, since you insisted. It’ll be here at-“ Your words trail off as you see him sitting on the large bed, his hands are in his lap though you note the way he’s clenching and unclenching his fists atop his thighs. He looks a little startled at your sudden entrance, like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been.

“Wanted to get you something, spent my own money on it. I hope you like it.” The scent of the bouquet on the desk that he approaches now fills the room in a pleasant way, mingling with the cologne he favors and your own perfume. A wonderful mixture of you both in the space you’ll be occupying for the next few weeks. Sadness flairs up when you realize it will fade as soon as he’s gone. “Tried to keep it a secret until I could surprise you with it.”

“What other secrets are you hiding, hmm, Mr. Miller?” Your voice is raspy, the display of the petals over the bed where a new cardigan in a fancy box sits partially open for you to see the soft muted green of the fabric. A gift, to make up for the things you’ve already decided to move past.

“Jus’ Joel, how many times do I gotta-“

“But I respect you, Mr. Miller. Don't you want me to show how highly I regard you?” The air in the room shifts as does the pitch of your voice.

“Just a workin' man, always have been, ain't nothin' special.” He’s not looking at you, pink tinging his ears and the base of his neck as he looks down at the jeans he’s originally rushed out of the house in.  

“Joel,” The sound of his name releases on a breathy sigh as you begin to saunter up to where he's leaning his backside on the desk, errant petals surround him, covers him in places he hadn't patted them away from. The rugged, worn denim hugging his frame, his plain, paint spotted t-shirt displaying the muscles he's built over the years of his life. He didn’t want to fly in the things purchased earlier that day, opting to keep them in the new bag he’s got to take with him on his trip. He's a tasty looking man, and no one else is around. You can't help the pulse of desire that lances underneath your skin, lighting you up in a way you hadn't felt in ages. the piercing gaze he pins you with even as you see the bob of a harsh swallow in his throat, the pursing of his lips as he tries to keep his calm the closer you get to him.

The air is thick, heady, tension crackling and making every other sound soft as you finally step into his space. Right in front of him, you have to look up slightly because of his height, his curls so soft underneath your exploring fingers as you reach out and pet them away from his face, the longer ones having fallen to frame his gorgeous face. You can see the moment his eyes dilate, darken as your tongue peeks out to lick over your bottom lip, the way your teeth sink into the plush give of it as you tangle fingers into his curls and the scratch of your nails on his scalp. A groan sounds deep in his chest, his own lips parting as it sits in the air between you. the sound spurring you on as you rest your other hand delicately on his chest, feeling the hardness of muscle there hidden beneath the thin fabric.

“I shouldn’t want to, I really shouldn’t with how things are and who your parents are.”

“Shouldn’t want to what?” Your heart thunders in your chest, his eyes trained on you with such intensity.

Hope swells, filling your chest where you can’t seem to get enough of the heavy air into your lungs.

“Shouldn’t wanna do this.” And then his hands are cradling the back of your head and the curve of your jaw as he leans down to press his lips firmly to yours.

previous chapter || next chapter

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@clevergirl74

[luvfae]

LINES CROSSED, PT 2

part 1

summary: thanos has always had a thing for his best friends girlfriend.

parings: thanos/choi su-bong x f!reader (nam-gyu x f!reader)

warnings: smut, alcohol use, cheating, swearing, unprotected sex, p in v

Nam-Gyu’s club was packed, the thick scent of alcohol and sweat hanging in the air. The dim lighting flickered across the dance floor, casting shadows on the sea of bodies lost in their own worlds. The bass-heavy music pulsed, vibrating through your chest, but none of it mattered. The only thing that mattered tonight was him.

Thanos.

You weren’t a regular at Nam-Gyu’s club. In fact, you’d avoided it for a while, but lately, you’d been doing things you wouldn’t normally do. Things you couldn’t seem to stop. You’d tried to erase the memory of him—the way he’d touched you, the way he made you feel—but the poison lingered. Sweet and addictive.

You leaned against the bar, nursing a drink, lost in thought. But you didn’t need to look up to know he was coming. His presence was like a storm, cutting through the crowd, drawing every eye in the room to him. When his gaze locked with yours, something twisted inside you. A pull. An undeniable hunger. You couldn’t look away, even if you tried.

“You look lonely,” he said, his voice low, teasing, nearly drowned out by the thumping beat. The words slid into your skin, making your heart skip a beat.

You swallowed hard, the familiar rush of guilt seeping in. “I’m not lonely,” you shot back, but even to your own ears, the words were weak.

His smirk deepened. “Come on,” he coaxed, stepping closer, invading your space. He extended his hand, and for a moment, you hesitated. “One dance. Just one, señorita.”

The fight in you was fading, dissolving with every breath you took, and you cursed yourself for being weak. But you still took his hand, unable to resist the pull, even as your mind screamed at you that this was wrong.

The dance floor was alive with the energy of bodies moving, but none of them mattered. Thanos moved through the crowd like he owned the place, effortlessly guiding you into his arms. His body pressed against yours, and every inch of you burned. His hands slid down your sides, low enough to make your breath catch. It wasn’t just a dance. His touch was an electric current that arced between you, igniting everything inside of you.

His breath was hot against your neck, his lips teasing the sensitive skin just below your ear. “You know you want this,” he whispered, his words a dark promise, each syllable sending a thrill down your spine.

You fought the urge to surrender, your body betraying you, but the temptation was too strong. You could feel his desire, pressing into you, making it harder to resist. The music pulsed louder, but it was his words that drowned everything else out.

“He doesn’t have to know,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your earlobe. “This can be our dirty little secret.”

A shiver ran down your spine at the thought, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you stopped fighting. You let him kiss you. Deep, possessive, like he was claiming you right there on the dance floor. His hands roamed with a familiar confidence, making your blood burn hotter with every touch.

When the club began to quiet down, signaling the end of the night, you barely noticed. You were too lost in the haze of lust and alcohol, your mind cloudy with need. Nam-Gyu, blissfully unaware, locked up the club at 4 a.m. as he always did. The weight of what was happening pressed down on you, but Thanos wasn’t done yet. Dancing had been the appetizer.

The walk to Nam-Gyu’s apartment was a blur. The alcohol clouded your mind, and the taste of Thanos lingered on your lips. You tried to steady yourself, to remind yourself that you were here with Nam-Gyu, that you should feel guilty. But all you could think about was the way Thanos had touched you, the way he made you feel like you were his, even if only for a fleeting moment.

Inside the apartment, Thanos didn’t waste any time. He closed the door with a soft click, locking his gaze on you, hunger darkening his eyes. The moment felt like it would break you in two, but you couldn’t look away. You tried to steady yourself as Nam-Gyu walked off to take a shower, but all you could think about was the way Thanos had touched you, the way you’d let him.

“You’re tipsy,” you whispered, your voice shaky, more an invitation than a warning.

He stepped toward you, his grin devilish, his eyes never leaving yours. “So are you,” he said, his voice low, almost dangerous. “Tell me you don’t want it.”

Your heart raced as he closed the distance between you, towering over you. His hand found the back of your neck, fingers tightening just enough to send a thrill through you as he pulled you into a kiss. Deep, raw, desperate. His tongue tangled with yours, a claim, a demand.

Your hands shook as you fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, your breath coming in uneven gasps. But it wasn’t enough. You needed more. And before you knew it, his hands were on your body, pushing your dress up your thighs, exposing your bare skin to him. His fingers found the waistband of your panties, and he tugged them down with ease, pulling you closer, kissing you harder.

“Jump,” he commanded, his voice rough, and like a mindless thing, you obeyed, your legs wrapping around his waist as he held you effortlessly. His cock pressed against you, teasing, the promise of what was to come making your pulse quicken.

He slid inside you, groaning as he filled you, and everything in your world exploded. The feel of him, the heat, the weight of what you were doing—it all came crashing in on you. There was no room for hesitation now, no space for guilt. Only the primal, insatiable need that burned between you.

“Fuck,” he muttered against your lips, his thrusts steady, powerful, driving into you with unrelenting force. Every inch of him stretched you, filled you, and you couldn’t stop the gasps that escaped your lips.

You tried to hold on, to control yourself, but it was impossible. “Imagine if your boyfriend knew you were fucking yourself on his best friend’s dick,” Thanos growled. “You think he’d be happy?”

The words stung, but in the haze of lust, they only made you want him more. “I love Nam-Gyu,” you whispered, your voice breaking.

Thanos’s response was immediate and harsh. He thrust harder, forcing the words out of you. “Don’t talk about him,” he hissed. “Not when I’m the one making you moan.”

His hands gripped your face, forcing you to meet his eyes as he fucked you with relentless intensity. “Say my name,” he demanded.

“Thanos,” you gasped.

His grin was savage. “My real name, pretty.”

You shuddered as the name slipped from your lips, “Su-bong.”

At that, he groaned, his strokes becoming faster, deeper. The pressure in your core built, and before you knew it, you were falling apart around him. Your body shook with the force of your release, your walls clamping around him, and Thanos cursed under his breath, following you into oblivion, releasing deep inside you with a savage growl.

Breathless, he pulled you back to the ground, adjusting your clothes in a blur. You were both scrambling, trying to regain some semblance of control. But the damage had already been done.

Just as you thought you might’ve gotten away with it, Nam-Gyu’s voice cut through the air, sharp and cold. “You guys done?”

Thanos froze, his eyes snapping to the bathroom door. Nam-Gyu stood there, towel still hanging loosely around his waist, his gaze icy. His anger was palpable, the betrayal evident in the harsh lines of his face.

“Get out,” he growled, his voice low and trembling with fury.

You froze, your heart plummeting as reality crashed back in. Nam-Gyu’s eyes flicked to you, and you couldn’t meet his gaze. He threw a picture of the two of you across the room, shattering the silence.

“Get the fuck out, both of you!” Nam-Gyu yelled, his anger a force you couldn’t ignore.

You scrambled for your shoes, your hands shaking as you shoved them on. You wanted to speak, to explain, but there were no words. The guilt was suffocating, your heart a hollow echo of everything you’d just done.

You fled into the night, your breath coming in quick, shallow gasps as you tried to outrun your own shame. And then Thanos was there, appearing beside you as if summoned by your pain. He pulled you into his arms, his hold tight and possessive, as if he was marking you as his.

“Oh well,” he murmured, his smirk dark and satisfied. “At least you can be mine now.”

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Viktor’s younger sibling

Viktor x sibling!reader

warnings:

a/n: im so sorry if this sucks so bad im soooo sorry its my first arcane fic

prompt: anonymous: “Hooray for open requests!!! Maybe hc for being Jayce or Viktor's younger sibling? And accompanying them to the lab?”

you and viktor never thought you’d make it out of the undercity, but viktor was gifted. he helped give you a better life

heimerdinger helped you find your place in piltover, viktor wouldn’t let you get left behind

“y/n deserves to go to a good school. have advanced classes. they can handle it.” -viktor

“i have no doubt, especially if y/n takes after you” -heimerdinger

you’d come a long way, farther than you ever thought you guys would go

“i’m glad i have you as a brother, vik” -you

“you’re just saying that because you have a nice plate of food in front of you” -viktor

“it doesn’t hurt” -you

even if viktor was your older sibling, you devoted yourself to sticking up for him

especially when you lived in zaun, since viktor was not treated kindly

“no more fighting up here?” -viktor

“i hope so, but just because we’re in piltover doesn’t magically solve discrimination. we’re still outsiders” -you

“why do you say that? has something happened?” -viktor

“just the way the people up here act” -you

you two still made the most of the opportunity with your studies, moving up in piltover

viktor soon met jayce, which you had mixed feelings of

maybe you were a little prejudiced againts topsiders still, even after all this time

“hey, who’s this!” -jayce

“viktor’s sibling, y/n. who are you?” -you

he liked you though!

you started to accompany them as they worked, especially intrigued by hextech

you were sort of an “intern” as they liked to call you

but it was worth it, experiencing something so fascinating

“y/n, stand back” -viktor…experimenting

“fineeee” -you

after some time working together, you saw a future in this

but not everyone saw it your way

you started coming around to jayce when he convinced mel not to pull the plug on hextech

“don’t act like im not your favorite” -jayce

“you’re far from my favorite” -you, jokingly

after some time, viktor grew ill and you grew more worried

you wanted to care for him but he simply would not let you

and he hated letting you see him that way

“viktor, i’m your sibling. please don’t shut me out, i won’t let you.” -you

“i’m fine, y/n. please, do not stress over my health.” -viktor

“come on, viktor. you know as well as i do something is wrong. you fainted!” -you

“yes, and i have better things to do than ‘rest’ as you keep asking me to do” -viktor

“you’re impossible” -you

“takes one to know one” -viktor

viktor pushed you away as he got sicker, leaning into his work

the hexcore was the breaking point

he showed up to your door in tears in remorse for sky’s death, you knew it was bad when he told you that you were right

“viktor, you’re not well. it’s time to rest” -you

“i don’t think i can after this” -viktor

you reached out to jayce after this incident, viktor left and you didn’t think you could follow

“he thinks you worry too much, he doesn’t want to be a burden” -jayce

“then will you help him? i don’t want him to be alone” -you

you gave him a hug and hoped for the best

but maybe he was destined to fail

you fell apart when you heard of the attack on the council, even more so when you saw viktor within the hexcore

“what did you do?!” -you

“i did what you asked! i helped him!” -jayce

you visited viktor every day regardless, usually ignoring jayce as he worked

and jayce really tried to make it up to you

“i don’t think he knows how much he’s done for me” -you, breaking silence after jayce hands you a pastry

“how so?” -jayce, timidly

“i could still be in zaun. i could be starved, suffering, and wasting my talents. but i’m here—because of him. he gave me the opportunity of education, safety, peace of mind and i feel like i failed him” -you

“i can’t imagine he sees it that way. you used all your resources and focused on yourself. that’s what he wanted for you, not to get involved in our messes” -jayce

when viktor woke up, he wasnt the same. he was a shell of himself. it caused you a lot of unease

your hug was weakly returned, and at first you thought it was just his recovery, but you soon found he was changed.

you stepped back, finally heeding years of warnings viktor had given you about worrying for him, caring for him, trying to help

you felt you were on your own, maybe it was for the best as you pursued your interests and career

and jayce went his own way pushing you away as well

but you chased him anyways and ended up in a dark, cruel world—the future viktor created

“where the hell are we?” -you

“i told you to leave! you shouldn’t be here!” -jayce

“i don’t…i don’t know where here is? you’d prefer to be alone in this?” -you

the mission changed as time went on, you loved viktor but you saw what came of the world

and jayce felt the need to try to convince you, but you’d already made up your mind

“we have to stop this. any way we can.” -you

“wha—i had a whole speech planned?” -jayce

“don’t want to hear it. viktor died when jinx attacked the council. this is…someone else’s work” -you

jayce and viktor taught you well, and soon enough you were back where you needed to be—and jayce took lead

but it wasn’t so simple, war broke out and all your hard earned time suffering in a broken timeline paid off as you fought against noxus

you watched from afar and viktor and jayce were taken from you and you felt…at peace

taglist: @summersimmerus //

[siggiedraws]

Hello! i absolutely adore your art and agree with your sonic opinions, you're overall one of the best sonic blogs out there. May i ask how do you plan out and draw your comics? How do you choose the formatting of panels themselves, the composition, the dialogue and so on? From A to Z, please! I apologize if this ask might be inconvenient, but i'm curious because i love your comics and have attempted to draw a sonic comic myself that failed miserably.

Typically the first step I will take is to just rough it out in a sketchbook, because I find it much faster and when working digitally I feel more pressure to make things look nice. This is where I start thinking about paneling and composition. It doesn't look perfect or cohesive at this stage, but at least now I have a rough idea presented with barely legible scribbles that don't make sense to anyone but me.

For paneling, large panels linger more, and small panels indicate quick succession. This is the most important rule I personally follow when making panels. It affects things like comedic/dramatic timing and how the reader will be guided through your comic.

It's important to vary up the composition when it comes to dialogue scenes where not that much is happening. The shot-reverse-shot format works, but remember that once you have an establishing shot and the reader knows where the characters are, you can get creative. I like to do close-ups where not everything is shown to create a sense of vagueness around what emotion the character is feeling.

Don't do this too excessively unless you're trying to create a claustrophobic feeling - let it breathe with a medium shot or long shot after!

In film-making, there's a rule called the 180-degree rule that basically states that in a two-character interaction, there is an invisible line drawn between them. The camera does not cross this line and stays on one side. This basically keeps the characters on one respective side of the frame at all times to avoid confusing the viewer.

This is by no means something you have to follow for comics, but if you want to create something that is easier to follow, it's a good rule of thumb that I consider when drafting! It can also be broken depending on the effect you're going for.

Once I have a draft, I'll typically go into editing and changing things that don't work quite as well as I'd like. This can be done by yourself or you can get it revised by a friend, like I do!

After the draft is finished, I'll get to lining and colouring. To be honest, it's not something I can teach so easily, but rather something that takes a lot of time and practice to learn. I typically draw the backgrounds with thinner lineart so that the characters stand out. Same deal with colouring - the characters stand out from the background colour-wise. There are multiple ways to do this, but for example, here I made the background have less colour contrast than the characters and stick to an orange-ish tone, while the characters are different colours from the background.

For speech bubbles, generally the words should fit the shape of the bubble to the best of your ability. The line spacing should be as close and compact as possible without touching the lines above or below. This is to save space on the page so that speech bubbles don't take up a majority. The tail of the bubble should point towards the character's mouth.

Avoid tangenting! This is when the very edges of two different things touch each other. It creates a flatter effect so you want to avoid it as much as possible.

That's about all I can think of right now. Hope this helped!

[genderqueerdykes]

Really appreciate this blog and what it shares. Got into an arguement with someone who was a transfem TIRF (didn’t realize that was even a thing at the time lmao) and it left me feeling really upset due to the both gross ways she’d talked about trans men and the fact that she got a lot of support in the notes. So coming here and seeing in fact most people love and care about us transmascs is nice.

Won’t argue again next time I see an account like that cuz it’s kinda obvious people in those circles are prolly not getting out but yeah.

i am so sorry you had that experience. i'm glad you're advocating for yourself and choosing to not argue with that person again.

i honestly refuse to socialize with a person when i see them be that openly hateful with no attempts to change. i stopped talking to one of my old roommates after he started saying all kinds of transandrophobic shit, shitting on transmascs bodies and calling them gross because he's "gay" and could never be into vaginas or breasts. my ex (trans)gf literally fucking yelled at me for not wanting to be his friend after this. like actually fucking yelled at me numerous times. i asked her if she would be comfortable staying his friend if he was transmisogynistic toward her and told her her body was disgusting, and she said yeah of course, as if somehow that wouldn't cause her pain. nobody gave a flying fuck about how transandrophobia affects transmascs, so i said fuck all of you and stopped being their friends.

there are so many people who have gladly jumped on the rad fem train and it's so sad. that's no way to live your life. that's such a hateful ideology. rad feminism is nothing but hate. it's hate for yourself for being a woman because you equate womanhood to suffering. it's hate for other women because they're not women "right" like you are. it's hate for transmascs and trans men. it's hate for nonbinary people. it's hate for genderfluid people. it's hate for trans, nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, gnc, bi, & pan lesbians. it's hate for butches who are men. for TIRFs in specific, it's hate for other trans people because they're "trans wrong". rad feminism is hatred all the way down no matter how you look at it. rad feminism will never be productive or progressive. it's about wallowing in your misery, mining for sympathy and pity, and crying about how you're powerless and defenseless instead of doing something about it. it's admitting defeat.

as a fellow transmasc, i'm just over it. i'm not gonna stew in self hatred. i had a friend who WAS transmasc who basically forced me to hate myself for being a trans man. always going on and on about how they hated certain transmascs and trans men, how they were "Whiny and entitled"... yikes dude. you can keep hating yourself over there, but i genuinely love being transmasc & a trans man. coming out as a trans man literally saved my fucking life. i was a depressed mess that hated myself before i came out. i've never loved myself more. and if someone else can't love what i love about myself? they're not worth my damn time.

i'm not here to throw transmascs under the bus just to kiss up to transfems to try to look progressive for brownie points. that shit is underhanded and dirty. we can support all trans people at once. we aren't football teams. you don't have to pit random queer identities against one another. we're on the same side. none of us are enemies. none.

thanks for taking the time to stop by! take care of yourself, i'm glad that i could help in any way. i am just OVER people forcing transmascs and trans men to hate themselves and exist solely to talk about trans women and transfems and nothing else. i am just over people making men and mascs feel like shit. it's done. it's over. i'm not participating, and neither are you. pack that shit up into a box, and throw it in the garbage. we're working together whether or not you like it. the only way we get out of this is together. our fight for liberation is NOT a crab bucket- you do NOT have to pull someone else down when you see them rise up and advocate for themselves.