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fandomscombine · 4 years ago

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It's the Lease I Can Do

Platonic! Weasley Twins x Reader

BG: The Weasley twins are so close to having their joke shop become a reality. They had found the perfect location but they had hit a minor problem that could cause them everything. You want to help, but how can you when they, the birthday boys themselves had given up?

a/n: I had this idea for a almst a year now and waited til ther twins bday to write it. I hope you enjoy.

WC: 2111

>>>MASTERLIST<<<

Fred and George causing a ruckus in the common room is a daily occurrence that everyone is accustomed to. However ever since the start of Year 7, the amount of commotion these two had caused can be counted in one hand.

At first glance, it could be attributed to NEWTS or in this year's case-to a pink toad acting as High Inquisitor. Still, more and more nights the twins had claimed the back corner of the common room.

The last remaining batch of students were making their way through Filch's checkpoint (an added security protection which also serves for Umbridge having a list of names on who comes in and out of Hogwarts). You glanced down at your watch- 2:27pm, they’re late. Weird, the twins never pass a chance to go to Hogsmeade.

You hear the castle door open behind you. Thank Merlin, you thought but instead you were greeted with a disheveled Angelina. “I’m coming! Wait!”

“Have you seen Fred and George?” You called as she ran past you.

“I think I saw them in the common room!” Angelina shouted back.

The common room? “What are they up to now?” You sighed. Stomping heavily up the stairs. “Ditching me….”

“Oi Weaslebees! I know you’re in here!” You rounded the corner of their secret spot. “AHa!”

You caught them red handed, midway into shoving papers into their “Weasley & Weasley'' Trunk. Though what they were hiding, you weren't exactly sure.

“Y/N!” Fred greeted, grabbing onto your shoulders, effectively covering George and the table. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

Narrowing your eyes at him. “Really?” Hands on hips you blatantly say “2:15 am, courtyard?? Ring any bells?” Fred shook his head.

Meanwhile George’s head shot up. “Oh shit, y/n we’re so sorry!”

Fred turned to his brother, still clueless on what the heck George was talking about.

Abandoning the trunk, George gave his twin a classic smack on the head. “Hogsmeade, you idiot! We were supposed to all go together.”

“OHHHH FU--” Fred knew he was screwed. “I’M SO SORRY! WE’RE SORRY.” Seizing the messy trunk, he strategized. “Right, here’s the plan: I’m gonna quickly drop this off back in the dorm while you two make your way to the gate. If you run, I guess you can make it. I’ll catch up with you two then.”

“Fred….. We’re not gonna make it” you argued.

“Not if we don’t try.”

“It’s almost 3, Filch would be closing the gates by now.” You sat down on Fred’s empty seat. “Besides we can go to Hogsmeade next time, we could just hang out here. I miss having my best lads around.”

“Awww…we’ve been upgraded from annoying pricks to best lads!” Gushed George, pulling you into a side hug.

“Yea, I could help in whatever it was you guys were doing before I came. I don’t mind.”

At that, you could feel George tense up, his arm around you dropping. “Uhhh…” He looked to the older twin, silently conversing.

You gaze between the boys, sometimes they get so caught up in their scheming that they don’t notice that to others, especially those who had known them for years that their non verbal communication is not so sly.

In the end, Fred gave his brother a subtle shake. “No, that’s alright. I’ll just put this back and we could play gobstones or something, anything you like.”

As Fred headed up to his dorm room, you noticed a piece of paper under the table. Picking it up, the header caught your eye. RE: Lease Agreement. Were the twins looking for a new home after graduation? You didn’t mean to pry. You were close friends, they would tell you if they were moving right? This is big news….you decided to brush it off until another line caught your attention. The shop premise located at Number 93 Diagon Alley. Shop? They are trying to set up shop? That’s brilliant! The twins would get to showcase their inventions to the world! You could feel your pride swell. Leasing Agreements would not proceed if tenants, Mr. Fred Weasley and Mr. George Weasley, are unable to provide an endorser by the date of 31st of March.

“Where’d you get that?” George standing across from you, gobstones on one hand and another pointing at the document. There’s no backing out now.

“It was under the table.” You explained. “I didn’t know you were this far along with the shop.”

“Yea, well it’s not happening now is it?”

“What?”

“Cmon y/n. I know you read it.”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s alright. We aren’t getting the place anyway.”

“Wait what? Why?”

“No endorsers.” George stated matter of factly but you sense the pain in his voice.

“How about your parents surely-”

George laughed. “As if mum would suddenly have a change of heart. You knew how she disapproves of our inventions, calling it a waste.”

“Arthur then.”

“Mum won’t let him.”

“Anyone then?” George huffed in defeat. “How about me! I could back you up.”

“You have to be an adult with a proven financial stability.” He stated, effectively shutting you down. “Forget it y/n. The hold ends in 3 days. We’ve tried everything. Just don’t let Fred know that you know. He’s devastated. Promise?”

“I promise.”

“And no pity, sad eyes!” He added as footsteps are heard descending the staircase.

“But I suck at poker faces!”

“Then let’s hope that Freddie is distracted even to not notice.”

It’s been 4 days since you had sent the letter to your father.

“Dear papa,

I know that this is a huge favour to ask but I believe it would be worth your while.

So remember back in the summer when you caught Fred Weasley, George Weasley and me snooping around with the Extendable Ears but let us go because you were so enamored?

Well turns out the twins and trying to get a shop up and running! How amazing is that?

The only problem is that they need an endorser to back them up in order to proceed with the lease agreements. The are currently on hold for the Shop Number 93 in Diagon Alley until the 31st.

This is where the huge favour comes in. Could you please be their backer? You did say that you’d love to help in some part in their invention, be an investor of sorts. Please papa. I would love to do it myself but I have to wait a couple more months to qualify. Plus it’s their 18th birthday on April 1st. Imagine their surprise if it were to come through.

I’d love to hear from you soon, regardless of your choice.

Your favourite child

y/n.”

The twin’s 18th birthday was spent with absolute love and madness.

Lee had unloaded his stash of butterbeer and firewhiskey, Fred had slipped Angelina with one of their new prank inventions- which changes the person into a sickly color of vomit green, a perfect way to ditch class or events.

Upon learning that the color would last for a few days and would only fade with the ingestion of an antidote, antidote that George said they still had yet to create. Angelina (understandably) threw cake at them. The Gryffindor chaser with perfect aim, hits its mark. However, Fred using his beater skills, instinctively blocks the incoming cake.

Resulting in a wide splat zone. Fred’s arm was covered in frosting, having sprayed everyone around him in whipped cream during the impact. George wasn’t safe too, despite being across from Fred, the rebounce of the cake had made him the new target.

You had just changed into your pajamas when a tapping sound came from your window.

Your family owl, Lanny, was outside carrying a large yellow envelope.

Quickly letting him in, you gave Lanny a gentle pat and brought out some owl treats for the tired bird.

Unscrolling the note tied to his leg, you begin to read.

“My dearest y/n,

My sincere apologies for the late reply, it’s been quite hectic at work.

In regards to your favour, you need not worry. Everything is taken care of. I had met with the landlord of Number 93 Diagon Alley and had all the documents settled. I had also gone and checked to make sure the two lads aren’t being ripped off. Fred and George had picked a nice prime location.

Greet them a happy birthday for me alright? And tell them that I look forward to witnessing them succeed in their endeavors.

They would undoubtedly be bringing a lot of much needed joy into these darkening times. The people would be thankful for them.

I also had Lanny bring the twins’ copy of the Lease Agreement.

I can’t wait to see you all soon.

Much love,

Papa.”

Fred was grateful that their friends had retired into the night, leaving him and George to sulk into the dreadful reality.

“We were this close Georgie, this close!” Fred winced, pinching his fingers close without touching.

“I know but there was nothing else we could have done.” consoled George but even he himself was having a hard time. Number 93 was the perfect location for their joke shop. But now it’s gone.They are back to square one, scouting for locations.

“Fred! George! There you are! I have great news!” You yelled, not caring if you could wake up the other students.

“Oi Y/N! Be careful!.” Even in a bad mood, Fred Weasley couldn’t help being protective.

You banged the envelope on the table. “Surprise! Happy Birthday! From papa and I.”

“Another gift?” wondered George.

“So you don’t want it then?” You challenged, crossing your arms. You tried to look intimidating but the pajamas weren’t doing any good. “Cause I bet a hundred galleons that you’d shit your pants if you were to reject it.”

“That confident eh?” Smirked Fred, taking the contents of the envelope out. “ What do you think is so grand that Georgie and I would---BLOODY HELL! Y/N!” Fred kept looking down at the paper and up to you, unbelieving.

“What is it Freddie?” asked George leaning over to read whatever it was that left his brother speechless.

Re: Lease Agreement

Mr. y/l/n has submitted his endorsement to Mr. Fred Weasley and Mr. George Weasley.

The turnover of the leasing property of Shop Number 93 Diagon Alley would begin on April 1st …..

“Oh My- Y/n? Is this real?” George whispered, afraid that if he were any louder this dream would end.

“Yes, absolutely, 100%.” You affirmed. “The shop is yours! Opff-”

George embraced you tight, catching you off guard. You could feel your right shoulder getting wet. “Heyya big guy, don’t cry.” Running a hand up and down his back.

“But how?” Fred with brows creased was still stuck in a trance, you could see the paper shake in his grasp.

“You left the agreement noticed a couple of days ago. I might have accidentally read it. George said to not let you know cause you might get angry-”

“YOu KNEW?!?”

“George only knew I saw the paper. Nothing else.” You defended. “I thought i might try and help, so I called in a favour with papa. You knew how much he was impressed with the Extendable Ear, so I mentioned if he wanted to back you up. I only got his reply just now, said he’d love to and got onto ironing out the paperwork and viola!” Pointing at the document. “Oh and he also said Happy 18th Birthday, looking forward to your success and the people would be thankful for bringing a lot of much needed joy into these darkening times.”

“Thanks Y/n but this is a lot we can’t possibly-”

You cut Fred off before he could say more. “Oh please, you have done countless things for me. And I know what you’re gonna say- but see you would do the same for me. Besides think of this as your first investors. We want to help. We see your potential, we know you two, Fred, George, are gifted with bringing laughter and joy to people with your inventions."

"Thank you, truly y/n and to your dad too." Fred admitted, opening himself up. "No one's really backed us up with our inventions before, we've been always told off for being childish. It really means a lot."

“Hey, it’s the lease I could do.” You replied, causing the twins to chuckle immediately lightening up the mood.

It's great to see them relax again after weeks of stressing over the shop. Times might be changing but at least tonight, you got your best lads back.

Everything Taglist : @gruffle1

HP Taglist: @onlyfreds

#fred weasley x reader #george weasley x reader #fred weasley #geroge weasley #fred weasley imagine #george weasley imagine #fred weasley fluff #george weasley fluff #weasley twins #weasley x reader #fred and george weasley #fandomscombine writes #fred weasley angst #george weasley angst

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desiredmalfoy · 4 years ago

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True Love Is Eternal (D.M x Reader + F.W. x Reader)

Pairing: Draco x Reader, Fred Weasley x Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Note this is going to be changing from 1st person to 2nd and 3rd person.

Enjoy the final installment of the Dear Malfoy Series! Fred’s POV! Thank you for everyone who has shown love to my writing! You don’t know how much I appreciate it (it means a lot to me).

Dear Malfoy [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] (Masterlist)

The invitation to your wedding invitation came suddenly in the mail. It came addressed to the Weasley family, which I guess includes me. No, it did include me. You put that in the invitation. I didn’t even realize that I was holding in my breath as I opened up the intricate wedding invitation. The Malfoys are not sparing any expense on this. He would give you nothing but the best in life. He had been fine for the past couple of years, he had managed to get you out of his head for the longest time. He had even been in a serious relationship but that did work out. But it seems like the news of your wedding brought all these feelings back. Maybe all these old feelings resurfacing because of the news of your marriage but not because he actually still loved her. Or maybe in the back of his mind, he’d always wish you would have a moment of revelation where you realized who truly loved him.

We are honored to invite you to

the unity of marriage of

Draco Lucius Malfoy

(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N)

Your name is written in beautiful intricate gold cursive. Taunting me with every letter written. He ran his fingers over where your name was printed, reminiscing of the moments he had with you.

It was the middle of summer and the both of you were laying on the grass outside the burrow. You were looking up at the night sky admiring the millions of stars. Moments like these were the ones he hoped were forever.

“What do you want to do when we leave this place”, Fred had asked her out of nowhere.

“Get my own place. I love my parents but I want to have my own space.”

“Oh! And get a kitten!” (Y/N) excitedly added. “I really want to get a kitten.”

“I’ll get you as many as you would like”, he said as he hugged her tightly.

“Is this your way of asking me to move in with you”, she teased him and his cheeks had become red from blushing.

“Not yet but one day in the future hopefully.” He answered as he envisioned them with a few cats and maybe a baby or two. “And you know I’ll have my shop by then too.”

He wished he could go to the past.

——-

Fred dwelled on the thought of going to your wedding. The invitation had been extended to the entire family, including him. After everything that had occurred, (y/n) had always been on good terms with the rest of the Weasley family. She had even eventually forgiven George for not telling her. George had explained to him that she forgave him to let go of the past and move on.

Fred had thought he would keep on seeing you every summer as the previous ones before. You had always come to stay at least for a couple of days to see Ron and Ginny before you dated him. But the summer after his 7th year and (y/n)’s 5th it all changed. He anticipated your arrival but didn’t want to ask any of his siblings if they knew you’d be coming over. He stupidly thought that he would be able to at least fix your friendship that summer. It wasn’t until he had overheard a conversation between Ginny, Ron, Hermione, and Harry that he knew you weren’t going to show up.

“I received an owl from her today.”, Ginny said excitedly as she sat down, a white envelope in her hand.

“How is she? I miss her greatly this summer.” Hermione asked as she reached for that same envelope from Ginny.

“She said she’s definitely enjoying Paris with Draco.”

“He took her to Paris”, Ron asked, shocked at the revelation. “The bloke has only been dating her for like eight months and he’s already taking her on expensive trips?’

“It’s Malfoy. Did you expect anything less”, Harry answered with a slight eye roll. “He’d buy her a castle if she would just let him.”

“I knew Malfoy always goes all out but I didn’t think he would take her on vacation so soon!”

“What do you expect?” Ginny laughed at Ron’s still confused expression. “He’s madly in love with her. He’s even nice to Harry of all people just for her.”

“That was the most surprising thing of all”, Hermione agreed with her with a giggle. “Who knew all it took to stop Malfoy from being such a prat was for (y/n) to date him.”

“I mean he even called Harry by his first name the last time we saw him instead of Potter”, Ron added to the conversation.

“I still miss her this summer”, Ginny complained with a groan. “It’s not the same without her.”

That was the beginning of you spending every summer with Draco instead of at the Burrow with the Weasley’s like every other summer.

———

He was walking along Hogsmeade after a long day of work. He was headed towards the Three Broomsticks to meet up with George who had taken a few days off from the shop that day. He hadn’t been feeling well the past few days and Fred had told him to stay home. He was finally feeling better and to celebrate, George had asked him to meet there for a couple of drinks. It was a pretty calm evening with a few people walking about the area. Fred mostly went unnoticed by others just trying to get home for the night.

That’s when he saw you coming out of the dress store with your mother and Narcissa Malfoy by your side. (Y/N) had a huge grin on her face as she carried a large white box with a beautiful ribbon to tie it all up. It was your wedding dress. He just knew it was that. A large smile decorated your face as you seemed ecstatic about the contents of the box. He turned quickly into a different alleyway to avoid running into you.

He was going to be needing something stronger than butterbeer tonight.

——-

Fred and George were currently on their way to their parent’s home to visit them for the evening. Life had been hectic and he hadn’t had a chance to see them in a couple of days. Plus it was one night where he would not have to cook for himself and George. Nothing beats a home-cooked meal from your mum on days like these.

They didn’t even bother knocking as they entered the home.

“Mum your favorites have arrived”, Fred announced loudly teasingly as he saw Ron sitting on the couch.

“I didn’t know Charlie and Bill were dropping by”, Ron said without lifting his gaze from the book on his lap.

“That hurts Ronnie”, George played around as he wiped a fake tear from his cheek.

“Anyway, where is mum?”

“They’re upstairs trying on the bridesmaid dressed for the future Mrs. Malfoy’s wedding”, Ron said with a snicker. “Mione and Ginny I mean.”

“I still can’t believe that it’s coming up so soon”, Fred responded as he sat next down to his brother.

“I am just excited about the food”, George said with a laugh. “I know it will be good.”

“Nice to know you care about me”, a teasing voice said from the stairs. Fred knew that voice and giggle anywhere. They all turned to where the voice was coming from.

“You know what I mean”, George said with a smile. He got up and greeted (y/n) with a hug. “It’s nice to see you again.”

He caught a glimpse of your engagement ring shining in light. Only the best for you.

“I’ve been busy”, she answered simply. “Weddings are a big thing to plan. Especially one that is only a about a two weeks away”

“How the joke shop?” (Y/N) questioned George. “Ginny has told me it’s been going amazingly for you two.”

“Right it has been”, George agreed. “Those Hogwarts kids are great customers. Right, Freddie?”

“Way to make us seem old Georgie”, Fred laughed as he looked directly at her. “It’s nice to see you (y/n).”

“Nice to see you too Fred”, she said, giving him a friendly smile. Not the same one she would give him years ago.

“Are you staying for dinner darling”, mum said as she came down the stairs with Ginny and Hermione trailing just behind.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Weasley”, (y/n) apologized. “I would love to but I had promised my parents I’d be eating with them tonight. Plus I still have to get home and see if Draco is back from work.”

You’d made a home with him already. One that he had promised you all those years ago.

“Don’t worry darling.” Mum said with a gentle smile. “You’re invited to dinner whenever you would like.”

“Thank you so much.” (Y/N) said as she hugged mum goodbye. She waved to everyone else and she was gone out the door.

———

The day of the wedding finally came and he had decided to go. He wanted an opportunity to see you dressed in white. Fred walked over with his family to the Malfoy Manor. They’re escorted to the garden in the back to wait for the beginning of the ceremony. It was decorated with your favorite flowers, white roses. Flowers that symbolized innocence, youthfulness, eternal loyalty.

The eternal loyalty you were about to pledge to Malfoy for the rest of your lives.

Fred anxiously waited for the ceremony to start. He looked around the space and saw many of his former classmates interacting with each other. It wasn’t long before the ceremony started.

Draco enters….

Your wedding party enters….

Everyone stands for your entrance….

The wedding march starts….

You walk down the aisle hand in hand with your father. You looked stunning in your wedding dress. Darling how I wish I was the one watching you walk towards me. You don’t spare a glance to where I’m standing. I’m probably the farthest thing from your mind. And I’m glad you don’t because I don’t think my heart would take it. He watches on a Malfoy cries at the sight of you walking towards him. Fred knew if he was in his place he’d probably do the same.

Because even though all I want to do is run up to that alter and tell you exactly how I feel, I simply won’t. I've seen how happy you are with him, and I can't ever do that to you. Even though I sit here to watch you wed another man and break my heart in the process.

Why am I even here? Why did I even come?

He watches as you pledge your love for Draco. Vowing to stay with him every moment of your lives together. He watched as you said “I do” through your tears.

You make such a lovely bride. Maybe in another lifetime or reality, you’re mine. But in this one darling, we just weren’t meant to be.

Maybe in another lifetime, I’ll be able to hold you close and never let go. In this one, I foolishly took you for granted and let you slip from my arms into the firm grasp of another man.

I knew I shouldn’t have come, but I couldn’t resist seeing you in white.

Because sometimes two souls are only meant to just be in each other’s life for a while; awaiting the lifetime where they’ll meet again but this time forever.

Alternative Ending:

Fred stood alone in his shop tonight. Wanting to throw himself into work to ignore the pain in his chest. He took another swing of the bottle of fire whisky in an attempt to drown out all the intrusive thoughts running through his mind. He spent the evening thinking about how he wished it was him marrying you, waiting at the end of the aisle. You’d be getting married next week and he couldn’t do anything about it. He knew he messed up all those years ago, and he’d do anything to turn back time.

He heard the door chime as someone opened the door. He must have forgotten to lock up in his current state.

“We’re closed”, he yelled out towards the door. He didn’t bother to lift his head to talk to them. Not wanting to be seen in this state.

“Freddie?”

This caused an instant reaction from him. He’d know that voice anywhere.

“(Y/N/N)”, he whispered. He was afraid you’d disappear at any moment. A hallucination.

“I missed you. I need you.”

“I missed you too.”

I know it’s not the best alternative ending but I kind of left it open for the reader to decide. It is a little something for those who would choose Fred instead. Do they realize they actually loved Fred after all this time? Is Fred just losing it and imagining this? It’s up to you to decide!

Click here for Valentine’s Day Shipping

Taglist: @keepsmilingandstayhappy @sarcasticallywitty15 @adrianpuceyishot @dracoismybabey @little-me204 @loveforreading @stephaniewinchester-weasley @cronen

Reminder: None of my work can be reposted anywhere. It doesn’t matter if you give credit, please do not repost!

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letterstomykid · 4 years ago

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A letter to my 2.5 year old

Dear baby,

January 1st 2021

I don't know why I stopped blogging or writing to you. I've always loved writing but never had any confidence in it. I never got round to writing your birth story and in the 2 and a bit years since I said it, I've realised it was the birth trauma that has stopped me from knowing where to start with writing it down. Anyway, I'm determined to write to you more often now.

2020 was without a doubt the weirdest year of my life, of anyone's life really. It started with your daddy turning 30, then my birthday, then the day after that, your daddy asked me to marry him. We got straight into planning the wedding because neither of us wanted a long engagement, but 1 month later, everything changed. In march, Covid-19 came to the UK and we got put into a national lockdown. It was supposed to last 3 weeks but 9 months later, things still aren't back to normal, in fact they're worse than ever. We had a long lockdown, then bizarrely we were actively encoraged to go out and 'Eat Out To Help Out', but then blamed for the second wave of the virus. The country was separated into tiers with different restrictions, me and nannan T ended up catching the virus, the whole country was put in another lockdown for a month, Christmas was almost cancelled and for the first time ever, nobody was in London to see the fireworks in New Year's Eve. Yet, despite all of that, your daddy and I managed to plan and pull off a wedding in less than 8 months. We got married on 2nd October 2020, with only 8 guests allowed inside the ceremony, all wearing masks, and no reception to celebrate. Hopefully we'll be able to go ahead with the party we've planned for our 1st anniversary this year. After all of that, none of the restrictions mattered when I signed the marriage certificate that meant I'd have the same last name as you and your daddy.

You're now 2 years and 6 months old, and you are an absolute whirlwind. You are crazy, fast and determined. Your smile makes my heart soar and your laugh makes everyone happy but boy are your tantrums something to contend with! You still don't speak much. You only say single words and even then you struggle with multiple syllables, but you have no trouble letting us know when you're not happy with something and you've learned enough words to tell us what you want. You know how to say all of your family: daddy, nannan, aunties and my favourite... Mama. What a wonderful turn of events after that's how I've always signed off these letters. We've never taught you to call me mama, everyone calls me mummy, we thought you'd call me mummy, but you never have, it's always been mama.

You do not sleep well at all. It takes you ages to fall to sleep, then you wake up and come into our room several times a night, and take ages to fall asleep again. We've tried everything but nothing makes a difference so I guess we just have to hope it will happen one day.

We don't know when, or if, we'll give you a sibling. I'd have loved for you to have one close in age to you but between the birth trauma, the lack of sleep and your daddy's fear of having a daughter (which I'm sure he's at least half joking about), we just haven't been ready yet. Of course that doesn't stop people asking!

I've gone on for a while so I think I'll stop now, but I promise I'll try to write to you again soon.

All my love forever,

Your mama xxx

#motherhood #parenthood #parenting #toddler #toddlermomlife #momlife #mumlife #mumblr #no sleep #speechdelay #siblings #wedding #marriage #covid19 #coronawedding

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daily-tolgirl-smolbean · 5 years ago

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January 14, 2020 (Tuesday)

Happy 1st Monthsary! <3

We’re finally a month in on our relationship officially!

Early morning greetings from last night:

It’s been a month huh? We started by meeting on a place where one mishap could have cost us the chance to finally find each other. Got to finally have the chance to start our story from that very first coffee “date”. Got to know each other and realized that yeah, we could be something. Admitted liking each other. Feeling emotions that pushed us to break the barriers and distance between us. Til we fell in love, slowly and all at once. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve also been through a couple of bumps and issues which could have ended what would have been our epic love story. But we persist. And now, it’s been a month since we finally took the risk and bet our hearts on each other. And I couldn’t be any happier. ☺️

The day started with her greeting me a good morning and telling me she’s lucky she has me. But you wanna know the truth? I really am the lucky one. I never knew I’d find someone in this lifetime who would love me, care for me and cherish me the way only she can. What did I ever do to deserve someone like her. Whatever that is, I won’t let this chance go and make sure this would be for keeps. ‘Coz really, this is it huh?

I remember telling her that I think she’s my soulmate. I know i know. It’s pretty cheesy in a sense. But that’s what I believe in. We’ve only been dating for four months and officially together for a month but it feels like I’ve known her my whole life. I even told her about my theory that we’re probably soulmates and lovers through our different lifetimes. I even told her this one story where in one of our past lives, she’s this beautiful haciendera and I’m a peasant working on their fields. She was riding her horse looking through the vast fields when I suddenly stood up, removed my banig hat, swooshed my hair and looked up. And there it was, our eyes meeting. The world stopping. Like a cosmic event waiting to unfold.... hahaha i am so dramatic. I have this full scenario in my head and I’m pretty sure she also liked that idea. Us. Being soulmates in every timelines. In every universe. And in this lifetime, our story is only beginning. ✨

So our day goes by. We started getting busy with our work. We talked about our dinner date. I actually already reserved a table in Wildflour Restaurant near her office a few weeks ago. But she told me she needs to buy something in Greenbelt after work (which I honestly thought were some art supplies she was checking out last week). She’d have to walk back to her office area again if we’re having dinner there as I planned. So I told her we’d just have dinner in GB so she won’t have to walk back. So there’s me panicking looking for restaurants I could reserve. I mean, it’s the weekdays so a reservation probably won’t be necessary but I wanna make sure we have a table and that she won’t have to be hassled by waiting if it’s fully booked. Then I remembered that Wildflour has a branch in BGC (the original one) so I asked her if she wanna have dinner there. She asked me why BGC, and I told her We haven’t been there in a while. And we were also talking about that time I told her I like her which was in BGC. So she said okay. So I scourged over the internet where I could book a reservations and thank god I manage to arrange that fast. Our dinner date’s all set. 👌🏻

Our day went by. We’re chatting while working. I reminded her of the theatre production we’ll be watching in March (Band’s Visit). I have to make sure it’s in her calendar. My baby’s such a busy woman hehe. She also have some great chocolates there which she got from her officemate which she wanna share with me. We’re like this. We always make sure to share everything to each other. Food, events, shows. We really are partners na 😌. Lol we have some kulitans on our chat. I even shared to her about the top 1 trending topic in twitter #FlexKoLangJowaKo hahahaha. I wanted to be makulit and do flex her in twitter if only things aren’t complicated still in my life (re: family). Someday tho, nothing can stop me anymore ✊.

Then.. my surprise to her came in. I sent her a rose. This day won’t be complete without making sure she knows she deserve all the cheesy(sweet) gestures I can do. Hehehe. I ordered it a few weeks ago and can’t decide what flower to give. In the end, I decided to give her 1 red rose. Which means our 1st month. It’s simple but also something which I know could at least make her smile. 😊 also, we have this banter where I’d have to check in every month if she’s still my girlfriend hahaha like a monthly assessment. And I’m fully embracing this challenge. So i sent in a note with the flower:

Look at her answer above! Hahaha told her “ay, asyumera pala ko haha. Okay lang kahit ano sagot basta yes”. She told me I should be nervous. Hahaha (kinabahan ako ng very light lol). So she thanks me for the flowers. I really am happy she liked it even if it’s just a simple one. I promised her back then that I’ll court her forever if it means we’ll get to spend our lifetime together. And yes honey, I won’t ever get tired of making sure you feel loved and cherished. 💕

Her work ended by 4 pm. So she went to GB to buy her stuff. I’ll be out by 6 pm anyways. Finished my work while she’s booked her grab going to BGC. I don’t wanna be late and make her wait so I booked a motocab. Definitely the fastest way through manila traffic. We have 7 om reservations. I arrived there around 650, got seated at the back and waited for my date.

The place looks amazing with the dim lights, candlelit dinner table and a semi casual feel. I was sitting by the window with my back facing outside. I ordered us some appetizer bread and butter and a salad so she’d have something to eat first when she arrive. I dunno why but I still get nervous when we’re about to meet for our date. Maybe because it’s a special day and I’m feeling a lot of things. I’m a bit on edge while waiting for her.

Suddenly, there was this knocking at the window on my back. And there she is, my love. Standing outside waiving at me while smiling her timid smile. My nervous energy turned into an excited energy. I’m like a kid who just got her present again. So I smiled happily at her and told her to get inside. She went around, arrived in front of me, I stood up and hugged her. She sat in front of me. Now I’m calm and content, she’s finally here. 😌

The waiter came back and gave us the menu. I told her to order anything she wants. Told her I love the apple pie here, she smiled and told me we could order it later. So I smiled like a kid. :) the bread and butter’s served. So she ordered the salmon while I ordered a pasta (she hates pasta while I love pasta lol). She also got a tomato soup which we shared. So we got to catching up on how our day went by while munching on some good baguette and some nice olive and basil butter. The salad came in and we continued eating.

We talked about how’s things at the office. Most people are still wfh due to the taal thing. She told me how busy the whole week would be so I told her she can do it and don’t stress herself too much. My baby’s really dedicated to doing her job so I just wanna make sure she’s taken care of. We also talked about our friends. We talked about us. We continued eating while food are now being served. She got me a bowl of her tomato soup. She got her salmon, I got my pasta. I told her the times I’ve been there and why I liked it there. It’s one of my fav restaurants and I’ve always wanted to bring her there.

One thing she really likes is taking care of me. So she got me a spoon of her salmon and spoon fed it to me. She has this shy smile on her face. I asked her if she likes feeding me. She said yes. So I smiled. I liked it too. ☺️ it’s really sweet of her (also I’m lazy so being spoon fed is a plus hahaha). We continued eating and kulitan. I kept telling her i love her which always makes her smile. We talked about yehessss we’re now 1 month na. And it still feels surreal how it’s only been a month. We really are on the same page when we talk of our feelings. We were teasing each other about “ibahay mo na ako”, “pakasalan mo na ako”, “magtanan na tayo”. Hahhha i’m serious tho, I would do all of that someday.

We also talked about our dream destinations. I wanna know the places she’d want to go to so I can plan it someday. I told her where I wanna go to. Her number one’s Japan, next is Thailand. London too maybe ‘coz her brother’s there. I told her my number one’s NYC and the second one’s Paris. Even if I’ve been there, I wanna go there next time as a romantic trip. I told her I want her to go to NYC with me and watch broadway shows with me. I’d want her to be the one I go back to Paris with. I wanna bring her to Japan (for sure) and that we’ll go to Thailand and London too. But then I thought, if she were to ask me where I’d wanna be in the world, I would have told her I’ll always wanna be wherever she is.

The whole dinner has been amazing. The place is nice, the food is good and my date’s amazing. So we finished our food and I ordered the apple pie and a cup of coffee. I think she also liked the pie which makes me happy. This time though, she took my teaspoon to make sure she’ll spoon fed me the desert the whole time. Well then, no objections from here ma’am. Hahaha We really are that couple people wanted to stir aways from ‘coz of the overflowing sweetness huh. :p

It’s gift time now! I took out a fat envelope and gave it to her. She asked me what it is. I told her it’s money for the drug deal. Hahaha just kidding. It’s a card with a gift inside that’s why it’s bulky. Before she opened it, she got something from her bag. Apparently she has a gift for me!!!! That I didn’t expect actually. I didn’t realized what she’s buying in the mall was her gift for me. I only had a bit of a clue when she was at the mall ‘coz she won’t tell me what she’s buying. I was so excited my hands are already about to claw the wrapper the moment I got it. So she laughed at me and told me I’m way too excited. I got a bit shy so I put the gift on my lap (but my nails are continuously scraping over the tape mehehe) She guessed what I was doing haha. She asked me if we should open the gifts now. I said yes of course! The child in me is always excited for gifts, especially the wrapped ones. She knew this. That’s why she insisted on wrapping her gift while she was at the car. God! This girl knows me so well she does things she’s not used to just to make me happy 🥺 I stared at her and all I was thinking was, I love you. 🥺

We opened the gifts. I got her a card with a sweet message. I wrote a few things too. I also drew her face with cat ears & 1 candle on the head. plus it’s a balloon head which a stick figure me was holding mehehe. I also got her a cat luggage tag. It’s why I asked her where she wanna travel to someday. It means I can’t wait for the future where we’ll always be together going on adventures. May it be around the world or just around the corner. As long as we’re together. I think she like that cat design so I’m glad I got it for her.

As to her gift for me, it was the Captain America tumblr we saw in Typo last week. I really wanted it but it’s too pricey! So I was shocked. She shouldn’t have spent that much on me but god, it’s so beautiful 😲 She spoils me. I was so happy with the tumbler huhu. I really needed a new one too. This girl is amazing 😩 I thought it was my birthday hahhaha. I told her she doesn’t need to buy me present every month, she told me okay and it’s just that, this first month is special. My heart ❤️

We finished up our pie and coffee (her spoon feeding me the whole time hehe), and asked for the bill. And as usual, my smol bean kept on insisting we pay half each. I told her we talked about this and that it’s on me. I know paying for the date is like outdated or something but I also like being able to treat her and take care of her once in a while. Plus it’s our first month and I want this date to be special for her. So she gave in. I just promised her I’ll let her pay on like, out 3rd monthsary lol.

We got the bill, I paid and we got out. I carried her bag while she carried mine. For such a smol bean, she always has her big back pack. We walked through BGC hand in hand with no destination in mind. We just kept walking til we reach the One Bonifacio High Street Park. I remembered that one chubby catto who’s like my soul animal. So we walked though there to check on him. Lo and behold, there’s lots of cattos there! Hahaha my smol bean’s such a fan of cats. So we decided to sit on the bench and watch them. She took pictures and kept getting their attention. I like watching her like this, so excited with the things she loves. Like me and cats 😉 There were 3 gray cats who looks like a gang, on of them is chill dude cat my spirit animal, and another ginger cat. They’re pretty entertaining to watch. I made up scenarios on what’s happening. It entertained us for a while.

There was a bit of a thing that dampen the night. So we got to talking about serious stuff. I reassured her of my feeling, my loyalty and my commitment with her. So we were silent and solemn for a while. She really shouldn’t be afraid and bothered of other people. ‘Coz in my world, she’s the only one I see. My priority aside from my family. Everyone else comes second. I promise this to her, we fixed the mishap and just snuggled there in the middle of the park.

We got to talking. She didn’t have the time to write message with her gift. So she wanted to tell me what she wanna wrote. She told me she loves me and that there was only one thing on her mind that she wanted to do. And that is to take care of me. She wants to always take care of me. With everything. From cleaning me up because of my messy eating habits, to taking care of me when i get hurt from being clumsy, to making sure i’m also emotionally okay. My heart beat so heard when she told me that. I felt the intensity of her feeling and how much she loves me. She doesn’t see my faults as something she’d hate but see it as an opportunity for her to make me feel loved. I was kind of speechless. And really touched. And made me fee how really really lucky I am to have found her. 🥺💖

So I was talking seriously with her about what she told me when suddenly, chill dude cat suddenly walked in front of us. Our eyes connected for a while and I told him what’s up. Does he have a problem? I was just kidding of course. Smol bean told me chill dude probably felt threatened with me. So I didn’t think much of it and got back to talking with smol bean. But suddenly, he was besides us. Hmmmm a bit suspicious. Is he gonna attack me? I didn’t mean what I said to him. So I just ignored him again. Another minute passed and suddenly he’s on my side, trying to slink his way into my lap! Apparently, that eye to eye contact between us was a connection built. He probably realized that we really are connected somehow. Last time i saw him was like 3 months ago and I felt connected to him even when he was ignoring me. Wat

So yeah, there he is on my lap, trying to find the perfect position to burrow on my warmth. I was exasperated for a while ‘coz I was having a serious talk with smol bean and that’s when he decided to get my attention when I’ve been trying to get his all night. What a bitch move. But man..... I also melted when his head booped my arms and hid his face on my body. 🥺🥺🥺 huhuhu i felt mushy. And smol bean’s cooing so much. She’s so happy and kinikilig with what she’s witnessing. Two stubborn headed lazy creatures connecting. Smol bean joked that chill dude just highjacked her thunder. She was telling me her monthsary messaged di ba. Ahhahahaa i feel so elated at that moment. There’s the three of us, snuggling in the middle of the park, like a little family. I feel happy, content and warm. 💗

Too bad we had to go home. It’s getting late and smol bean has to rest na for early morning work tomorrow. I didn’t wanna remove him but we really had to start now before our grab arrive. So I slowly stood up and he slid down to the bench. He tried to hold on but yeah, he sat back down in the end. And my chill dude being chill as ever just sat there like the lazy creature he is hahahaha. We’re watching him while waiting for our grab and it’s taking a while so we sat beside him. I touched his head and pet him. He looked at me..... and went back to burrowing on my lap again. Hahahahahaha damn it, we’re back to square one. But i let him for a while. I like it too anyways. So we stayed like that til our ride arrive and i had no choice but to leave him. We left him on that bench, chill as ever. To my chill dude cat, rock on man 🤘

We got on to our ride where there’s a big doggo besides the car door. He’s a security dobberman. Looks like he’s bigger than smol bean so smol bean’s kinda scared and was trying to pull me away from him. I think he was nice though. So the driver and I chuckled over smol bean’s antics hehe. We rode our way to Makati so I can drop off smol bean. We’re holding hands and cuddling and stealing kisses from each other. The whole night was amazing and i think we’re both thinking how we wish we don’t have to be apart again. But for now, we have to go on separate homes.

We got to her dorm and we sat at our usual spot. I booked my grab but she told me she doesn’t wanna let go of me just yet. And honestly, i feel the same. So i cancelled my ride and stayed with her for a while. Flirting and kulitan 😜

But it’s getting really late and she has to rest soon. She sigh and said okay. She insisted on booking me a ride so i let her. My ride arrived, she walked me to the car, i hugged her, kissed her and told her goodbye.

She message me to take care on my way home, she’s watching over me while prepping for bed. She was composing her monthsary letter for me too. What a sweetie 🥰 I got home, got ready for bed and she sent her letter to me...

And it’s everything I wanted from her. She promised to love me, take care of me, and that she won’t hurt me. She’ll love me the way I deserve. She thanks me for the love and happiness I give her. And that she’ll always want to be by my side. 🥺🥰

—-

PS: I love this woman. I love my smol bean. I love you very very much. ❤️

#JeLee #smol bean #tol girl #1st Monthsary #hi baby someday i’ll marry you okay

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wishthefish916 · 6 years ago

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What Is Anti?

Holy fucking shit, I’ve literally had this saved as a draft on this site for MONTHS and just haven’t posted it out of spite, but if ever there was a call to action this is is. I published this theory a while ago, but I wasn’t completely happy with how I’d written it at the time so I took it down a few minutes later. I’d originally planned on never revisiting this again, but while developing a different theory which will probably be coming out soon, I was forced to revisit this work, so here we are. The science of Antisepticeye. What he is, where he came from and how to stop him. It’s a long one lads, so buckle the fuckle up.

If we’re ever gonna stop Anti, which is kinda the point of all this theorizing anyways, we have to know what exactly he is. To figure that out, we need to look into what effect he has on the world around him. Looking back at the ever expanding collection of Anti moments ((thank the heavens for his wiki and a whole lotta spare time)), the only thing that tied them all together is that the person in the webcam felt a sense of danger, be it from a jump scare or high suspense or even from hearing Anti’s name, the brain of the person who was recording sensed danger, which triggered a hormonal fight-or-flight response in their body in the moment Anti presents himself to us, and it’s usually preceded with a long gap in symptoms surfacing. What else do we know of that lies dormant for a long period of time before something triggers it to wake up which usually leads to chaos for whatever system it’s in? Jack A virus!

So what kind of virus is he? Well, in bigger videos like Say Goodbye and Kill JSE the person on the screen communicated that they felt physical effects of his presence, like nausea, aches, delirium and twitching and in some cases bleeding from the eyes. This tells me that if Anti is a virus he’s a biological one.

However I cannot ignore the biggest telltale sign of Anti showing up which is the game or webcam ((and sometimes the person)) glitching, audio disturbances, and corrupted html text((Zalgo)), which would tell me that he is a computer virus.

So lads, correct me if I’m wrong in saying that if Anti is indeed a virus, he wouldn’t be exclusively biological or the technological, but rather a biomechanical virus((I totally didn’t make up the term shush)).

Being made up of both biological and technological components mean infection could have happened just about anywhere. For the sake of clarity I’ll be breaking it up into biological and technological components as I’m fairly certain the two are symbiotically dependent on each other, considering the physical effects coincide almost completely with the technological ones.

If infection was controlled by the biological aspects, that would mean he was infected by contact with the virus. Either he touched it, breathed it in, ate or drank it, kissed it, or bled on it. For all the other egos who’ve been infected, this makes perfect sense. JJ cutting his finger right before the glitching shows up, Henrik almost never wearing his surgical mask when handling his infected patients, Chase heavily drinking in the moments leading up to Dark Silence, but Jack is a different story. The first time we saw Anti was in FNAF Sister Location, and that video had none of the above in it. That tells me he was infected well before he first showed himself, which makes sense logically. People don’t show flu symptoms as soon as they come into contact with the flu virus. It has to fester for a little bit before showing any symptoms, so why should Anti be any different?

So where did Jack get infected? If he did physically come into contact with the virus, it would have been in a live action video. From a storytelling perspective, it wouldn’t make sense to not showcase an important plot point clearly, and live action is the best medium to do such. That brought me to the 2015 pumpkin carving video, but nothing too suspicious happened. There was no bleeding, he didn’t eat anything, while he did kiss the pumpkin no bodily fluids were exchanged, and breathing it in or touching it seems implausible, because it would mean the virus already existed in his house, which means he would have been infected long before that video.

The only other live action videos he’s done, and correct me if I’m wrong, were the 700,000 subscriber ghost pepper challenge, the ALS Ice bucket challenge, and his regular vlogs. Sean is incredible at blurring the line between normal video and ego video, but these videos all had an underlying sincerity to them, where he was trying to communicate to us his appreciation or with the ALS video trying to get us to donate to charity, and I find it highly improbable for him to try and undermine the meaning behind them with an ego clue.

That leads me to believe that it were the technological aspects of the virus that infected him, and that’s where things get kinda tricky. Now, computer viruses are actually relatively easy to come into contact with, the problem definitely isn’t there. Maybe Jack was sent it in an email, maybe he went to a sketchy website, maybe he downloaded a game that had a little something extra up it’s sleeve. No biggie, it happens. The logic leap is when the computer virus starts affecting his real life person, even when he’s not using the computer, a la Say Goodbye.

I believe immersion is the answer. Immersion in game play is something a large portion of game developers strive for, making the player feel like they were actually inside their game. This is one of the hardest and most important things a story driven game developer can do, and also one of Jack’s key defining features in games he tends to really enjoy.

I think, in the story that Sean has created for us with the egos, when Jack is doing a lets play and he gets really immersed in the game, he actually does exist inside that game. That feeling of total immersion, those moments when his brain is unable to separate the game from reality, they happen because of him actually being inside the game on his computer. If Jack were to download a game that had Anti’s virus on it, and then became immersed in the game play experience long enough to come into contact with said virus, it’s entirely possible that the virus stayed with him when he left the game/no longer was immersed.

Well, if we’re going to find out how to cure the thing, we’ve first got to find the location of patient zero, i.e. the video that started it all. If we know where it came from, we’ll know how it works and that’ll make it immensely easier to stop it. Are there any games out there that Jack played that 1) truly immersed him as a player into it’s world, 2) share a strong resemblance to what we already see in Anti, and 3) was uploaded some time before the release of Sister Location. There are two bigguns that spring to mind.

Undertale is probably the most well known and well liked series on Jack’s entire channel. While he was playing he became heavily invested in each of the characters, even the baddies, and so did we. We grew to care for them all as if they were our closest friends. When they were hurt, we screamed in protest. When they were comforted, we felt all warm and fuzzy. When we reached the true ending, we all cried. I would most certainly consider that immersion, wouldn’t you?

Not only did Undertale immerse the player and viewer, it messed with your actual computer files. If you do a genocide route even once, uninstalling and reinstalling the game won’t wipe it’s memory of the route. You have to dig through your computer to find and delete the file that tells steam what route you chose if you want to play the game brand new again. Not to mention the game frequently closing itself unprompted, which has a well known history for corrupting recording footage. Potential for corruption? Check.

New paragraph for new point because oh my god, there’s a lot. Several people have already pointed out the similarities between Flowey and Anti, but just in case you haven’t seen it yet or wanted a nice recap, here we go.The voice acting Jack chose for Flowey sounds just like a higher pitched Anti voice. This was the first time he ever layered audio files to achieve a more sinister voice effect. The thumbnails following his fight with Flowey all hold trademark characteristics of Anti video thumbnails. Our first ever interaction with him ends with him attempting to murder Jack. Their laughs are one in the same. At certain points in the game, you can find Flowey following you, keeping an eye on things, if you will. His boss fight, oh my g o d. He kills the dude in charge, everything cuts to black, and next thing we know there’s a glitchy face laughing at us through a screen, telling us about how he’s the one in charge and how this is his world and how everything he’s done was all our faults, after which his eyes turn red and green and he starts puppeteering controlling six different souls, using their different skills to his own personal advantage so he can fulfill some unspoken objective. Gee, sound familiar?

However, despite all of this, Undertale was not patient zero. Why I still listed all the game’s similarities despite this, I promise was not to waste your time, I’m getting to that. There was a game that came just before this one, the first of it’s kind, the actual patient zero. That game, is The Visitor.

Many of you may not remember this game, but The Visitor (and The Visitor Returns) was a little flash game that was posted way back on March 1st, 2015, and you played as an alien creature that came to Earth on a meteorite who’s only objective was to kill any creature it came into contact with to gain it’s powers. It was a video that kind of took the channel by storm, landing it’s place as the fifth most watched video on Jack’s channel even though nobody really knew how. This was patient zero.

As for the checklist? It was posted March 1st, 2015, a full year and seven months before Sister Location. Jack is certainly immersed in the gameplay, so much so he forgets about the menu screen and accidentally restarts the game in an attempt to do more stuff. Does it show a similarity to what we already see in Anti? More than you’d see at first glance. Yes, his mouse is kind of glitching through the entire video. Yes, his webcam goes dark for a single frame towards the five minute mark. Yes, there’s multiple severe neck wounds throughout the game. But that’s not what sold me on this. It’s the premise of the game itself.

I was struggling for months trying to figure out which game was patient zero. I jumped between Undertale, Fran Bow, Vee is Calling, and even the other Five Nights At Freddy’s videos more times than I could count, because all of them seemed like plausible answers. Fran Bow was the first series ever to adopt Anti’s traditional thumbnails, with lens flares and glowing eyes and blood everywhere(seriously, I took a good ten minutes and scrolled through every single video on his channel and Fran Bow was where it all started), not to mention a dark shadow creature who feeds on suffering being the main antagonist. Vee is Calling had an actual virus as a main character who actually glitches out and actually takes control of the main character’s in game computer. One of the glitches in SIster Location #1 showed a frame from the first ever FNAF game, and many of the sounds were pulled from the series at different points. I’ve already written paragraphs about Undertale. All of these things show a direct tie to Anti.

Then remember what The Visitor is all about. It’s an alien who kills things around him to gain it’s powers. It takes aspects from each creature it comes into contact with and uses them for his own personal gain. That seems to be exactly what Anti has done ever since we’ve known him as a physical entity on the channel rather than an idea with a name.

I mean, look back at May 2k18. Every single skit, either ego themed or not, was pulled directly from whatever the game he played was about. Hell, just look at the egos! I’ve talked about this before, but in every single ego video, there is always a theme of character decay, where the person they were at the start of the video erodes away leaving nothing but a shell of who they were by the end, and this is especially apparent in their debut. JBM, the courageous hero giving into cowardice. Marvin the Magician, throwing away his career. Henrik the wise doctor, killing his patients and forgetting a comedic amount about human nature. Chase the bubbly dad, pulling a gun on himself. JJ the mute actor, cutting his finger and immediately getting possessed. I’d tied them back to Anti before, but I never really knew why. In hindsight, this was clearly Anti’s attempt at stealing their strengths. Each and every one of them had some advantage that Anti wanted, and their slow decay was evidence of Anti trying to take control so he could have it. That’s why each new video showed him getting stronger, going from making them kind of afraid to full on suicide and possession. He was stronger because he’d taken more attributes and was able to use them more effectively with each passing video. For each game that Sean got immersed in that fit his agenda, Anti adopted different aspects for himself. There is no one video where Anti came from because he came from every video.

Okay. Alien biomechanical virus. How do we treat it? Well, that is heavily reliant on it’s sources. Anti adopted both some benefits and some defects from every game he pulled from. He gained both strengths and weaknesses, so if you want to “beat” him, the answer would lie in those games. The Visitor had no happy ending. Fran Bow won by giving up on reality and living with tree people, a demon, and an oversized axolotl. Undertale got a good ending by befriending everyone including the bad guys and hopefully not dying too much in the process. FNAF was finished by getting fired or burning everything to the ground and praying you’re not sent to purgatory. Vee is Calling was saved by focusing on your love life more than your computer files. Maybe it’s one of those answers. Maybe it’s all of them. Maybe it’s none of them. It seems not even Sean knows the answer to that question, but now we have a great place to start looking.

I wasn’t able to attend PAX, which means I didn’t know about the Anti “hint” until just now. When I heard it I wanted to scream, I think I actually might have, because I’ve been sitting on this work for literal months and just not gotten around to posting it. “We still haven’t figured out what Anti is yet.”

So, @therealjacksepticeye, are my answers to your satisfaction?

#therealjacksepticeye #jacksepticeye #jackieboy man #marvin the magnificent #dr henrik von schneeplestein #Dr Schneeplestein #antisepticeye #anti theory #jse theory #chase brody #jameson jackson #dapper jack #pax east #wish speaks

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monotonemanday · 7 years ago

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Our Birthday - Zen x MC

This is a little something I whipped up for not only Zen’s Birthday April 1st. (Which is still quite a few hours away for me) but also for my girl @zennyshoneybunch ‘s Birthday! Which is still happening for me! The 31st! haha So I hope you all enjoy! And Happy Birthday Helena! I love you girl! You are one of a kind. The Real Deal. And just sooooo wonderful! <3

The day had arrived. March 31st. Just any other day. Well more specifically, just another Birthday. You didn't have much planned. You stopped by the bakery and picked up a small cake to enjoy on your own. A simple cake decorated with a variety of fruits making it beautiful to look at. But you were definitely going to dig into it anyway. You place it on the counter and changed out of your work clothes. You put on a cute casual outfit but dressed it up a little with jewelry and a little more makeup than you would wear at work. Even though you weren't making things a huge deal it was still your birthday. You were off to a dinner with your family. You told your friends what you were up to and they asked you what the occasion was. Reluctantly, you told them it was your birthday. It was going to come out anyway. They flooded your phone with text messages.

"Well, now I feel like a dirtbag!"

"Why didn't you tell us a long time ago?!"

"We could have made plans! What do you want? I'll go pick something up right now."

"Girl it might be your birthday, but you suck. Why wouldn't you tell us when your birthday is?!"

"You gonna get laid for your birthday? We can help with that too!"

You shook your head at the barrage of messages. You didn't tell them because you knew they would overreact. They were busy and you wanted them to focus on other things. After they were done being whining and being inappropriate they sent you congratulations.

"We love you girl Happy Birthday! But next time we're going all out!"

"Love you, girl! You're the best. I hope you are nothing but happy on your Birthday! Expect gifts soon. ;)"

You told them thanks and made your way to dinner. You understood their shock. You never really ever talked about your Birthday so you didn't expect them to know, and even when people asked you danced around the subject. You hadn't even told HIM it was your Birthday.

He was a big star and he would be getting flooded with gifts. You figured your efforts would be lost in all of the celebrations that would go into his birthday. Plus he was extremely busy with rehearsals. You didn't want to burden him. Even though he was your boyfriend you felt that sometimes you could get overlooked. It wasn't his fault in any way. You knew he cared for you but it was the fans that were constantly pushing you out of the way. You decided to stop being such a Negative Nancy.

Dinner was lovely. You spent time with your family and ate tasty food. Your nieces and nephews made you wonderful homemade gifts with the help of your sister. Both your stomach and your heart were full and you made your way home.

It was far into the evening when you got home. Around 10 pm. You put your key in the doorknob and turned but it was already unlocked. You tensed up for just a second and then you figured there was no reason to be scared. It was most likely your friends trying to surprise you, knowing now that it was your birthday. You knew one of them had a spare key for emergencies. You clicked on the light and called out to them.

"Okay, criminals. I should file a police report on your crazy asses. Giving me a damn heart attack on my Birthday! My presents better be good!"

You turned the corner and you gasped, holding your hands up to your mouth. It wasn't your friends but your boyfriend. Light was flickering in his crimson eyes. He was holding the cake you had bought earlier. It was lined with lit candles. The brightest smile was on his face.

"I don't know who it was you were expecting Jagiya, but I hope you're not disappointed."

Your cheeks flushed red and you let out a nervous laugh. "Zen, what are you doing here? Didn't you have a busy day of rehearsal?"

He walked closer to you. Holding the cake up to your face. "Prince Charming would never leave his Princess alone on her birthday. Now make a wish."

You blew out the candles getting everyone to blow out except for one. Zen blew it out himself and gave you a wink. "We'll just make that our little secret." He gave you a light peck on the cheek and you took the cake from him. You placed it on the counter and rummaged through the drawer for a knife to cut it with.

"What did you wish for babe?" He asked leaning against the counter. He was watching you intently. He loved staring at you when you were running around the kitchen. It was adorable and he couldn't contain his smile.

"Well, I didn't really make a wish, Zenny." You took down two plates and placed them on the counter. Ready to share your sweet dessert with your sweet man.

"You didn't make a wish? Why is that, Jagi?"

"You see, my love. I didn't really need to! The only thing I was really regretting about my Birthday was that I didn't get to see you. And as usual, you answered my hearts call, like my knight in shining armor. Before I even had to wish!"

You could see the blush form on his cheeks. He was looking away from you. You placed a slice of cake on the plate and held it in front of him but also inches away from your face. You wanted him to look at you and couldn't help but laugh when he snatched the plate from you and mumbled a shy "Thank you" under his breath. He apologized for breaking into your apartment. He said that he had borrowed the spare key from your friend since he didn't have his own. You assured him it wasn't a problem and that you loved the surprise.

You two ate your cake and spent the rest of your birthday in bliss. You showed him the presents your nieces and nephews had given you. He talked about rehearsal and he even practiced some of his scenes for you. You chased each other around the apartment working off the calories from the cake. Which you didn't really need to since you were wearing most of the cake instead of digesting it. You pointed out Zen had gotten cake on his mouth and instead of helping out you wiped more on his lips. That led to an all-out war. And a mess you made him promise to help you clean up later.

It was a quarter until midnight and the two of you were sitting out on the balcony. He stood behind you. Arms wrapped tight around your waist. His chin resting on the top of your head. You could have fallen asleep standing up outside like that. Just due to the warmth of his loving embrace. You could hear the quiet nighttime breeze blowing and whipping both your hair around. You became very aware of the time.

"Zenny, should you be going home? You have lots of rehearsal tomorrow and it's very late. Besides...I'm sure you'll have lots of celebrating to do tomorrow and people you want to spend time with." Your voice was soft and pained. You had turned around in his arms to face him. Resting your hands against his firm chest. He kissed you softly on the forehead and you closed your eyes. You would miss him. You didn't want him to go but you didn't want to be selfish. Tears threatened to spill down your cheeks when he held your chin and lifted your face so you could meet his gaze.

"I'd like to stay until after midnight, Jagiya. If you'll let me. I want to start my Birthday with the person most precious to me. My Princess." Your lips met and you had never shared a more special and beautiful, heartwarming kiss. It was exactly midnight.

"Happy Birthday, Zen."

"Thank you, Jagi."

You excused yourself and Zen couldn't hide the confusion on his face. You had gone inside but shortly returned with a small wrapped box.

"Jagiya, you shouldn't have gotten me any kind of present!" He protested but you shoved it into his hands anyway. He opened it and his eyes lit up. "Princess are you absolutely sure that you're okay with this?"

You were confused by his question. "Of course! I thought it was very you. It's just a keychain bottle opener. I had them inscribe your name on it. I thought it was cute is all." You were blushing. He bulled the keychain bottle opener out of the box and held it up.

"No Jagi, I'm talking about this. Is this a key to your apartment?" Your blush deepened.

"Well, yes. It is."

Zen began to laugh and you playfully swatted his arm. "What is so funny, huh?"

Zen reached into his pocket and pulled out a keychain with a locket charm. Inside the charm was a picture of the two of you and attached to it was a key. You took it from him and joined in on his laughter. You thanked him with a kiss and once he pulled away he hugged you tightly.

"I love you, Princess."

"I love you too, Zen."

You both let out a peaceful sigh and uttered the same words for the last time that night.

"Happy Birthday."

#zen #zen x mc #mc x zen #birthday #lovelyzen #lovelyzenweek #mysme #mysticmessenger #Mystic Messenger #writing #fanfic #mysme fanfiction #fanfiction #enjoy

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per1shed · 3 years ago

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Thank you for being proud of me, that means a lot, I made progress myself when it comes to this as I don't hate myself that much for prioritizing my mental health because it's really bad atm anyways 🙃 I've been thinking of studying again. I dropped out earlier this year after a year, it was mostly online and my anxiety got unbearable, I try to recover from it now lol. So I think of studying again next year, I don't see myself being able to do anything else tbh, I imagine what it feels like to belong somewhere without doubting myself and questioning the decision. And yes, i love my sister sm, our place is a bit small but she's safe now, she wants to earn some money to buy her own place while staying here ig. The boyfriend tries to reach her phone, she wants to see her and talk but she doesn't respond. But at least the boyfriend's parents are really supportive !! and are super mad at him.

May I ask when are the tests happening?? I'll be thinking of you,I know it's gonna be okay, you're safe and nothing bad will happen! I'm also seeing many doctors for my thyroid, eye pressure etc.. I also got this magical thinking that isn't helping at all :/. And I almost forgot you asked me about the things I do, I really enjoy exercising as much as I can and also paint, can't think of anything else rn,

and keep us updated on things !!<3

i really am! <3 are you in therapy? from my experience with school (i always wanted to go to uni but my health always stopped me) i know that it makes absolutely no sense to keep going when you’re not healthy and have to force yourself, it will 100% make us worse. studying is something that we can do our whole lives, there’s ppl who decide in their 40s that they wanna go to uni or go to school to get a higher degree so really you should take all the time you need to recover! <3 i also dream of a place where i belong and can be unconditionally. we’ll get there one day i promise!! and i’m glad y’all get along so well!! tell her i’m also very proud of her for getting away from him!!

as for me, the inpatient stay where they’ll do all the testing is gonna start march 1st, i wish it would happen sooner but with the covid situation here it’s impossible. and i didn’t know you also had health problems! i hope you’re fine and get the help you need <3 + the magical thoughts, the worst thing is i believe in them so much that i can’t FATHOM doing something about it. i know the only way for it to get better is to do exactly what im scared of but i can’t im terrified. have you found a way to cope with them? and i’m happy you have things you enjoy hehe, those things are what keeps me going at the end of the day.

#anon

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a-winchester-fairytale · 7 years ago

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SPN Writing Challenge

Everyone has their favorite sitcom shows, and I created a list of quotes from some of mine for my first challenge.

I know not everyone likes to do the quote thing, so I also added some music and picture prompts. Whatever you choose, please make it part of the story.

I am so grateful to each and every one of you that has started following me. This ride has been amazing so far, and I absolutely love writing and sharing my stories with you guys.

Please join me in celebrating 100 followers! Fics due by March 2, 2018. If you need an extension just let me know. Rules and prompts below the line.

RULES:

1. Please click the little follow button if you aren’t already. It will make me so happy….really, you have no idea

2. Send me an ask with your 1st and 2nd choice. I will not count reblog or comments as entries for the challenge. That just makes it easy for me to keep up with.

3. Please, SPN characters only, no RPF

4. I prefer Reader Inserts, but I will read OC, no pairings, and some ships, like Deonna, Megstiel, Salieen. If you have a ship you really want to write, just send me an ask, but I really want to stay away from the whole Destiel and Wincest stuff. No offense intended, its just not my thing.

5. It can be fluff, angst, crack, whatever. I will even say ok to smut, but if you do please include a warning and put everything below a Keep Reading line.

6. Speaking of Keep Reading…please include one if your writing exceeds 500 words.

7. Include #Mel’s S2S Challenge within the first 5 tags and Tag Me in the A/N. This way I can find your story

8. No hate allowed.

That’s it. All I ask. I promise that I will give feedback on every one that sticks to these guidelines. I will like it to let you know Ive seen it, and then add the feedback as soon as I have had a chance to read it. If you post your fic, and I haven’t liked it within 48 hours, send me a message and let me know. Tags are temperamental.

PROMPTS:

“Have you all just completely lost your minds?” @bunnyrabbitct

“Whiskey and Truth should always be served straight up.” @katymacsupernatural

“If I stay, I might be tempted to do more than talk.” @wingedcatninja

“You should buy them in bulk if you’re going to hand out apologies that often.”

“What is this, Mayberry?”

“I was so good I screamed out my own name.” @roxy-davenport

“If sex were fast food, there’d be an arch over your bed.”

“When I eat jello, I feel better. Dont ask me to reduce it to a science.”

“Don’t get excited. I basically chose you over death.” @inkbleeder

“Sometimes people disappoint you, and you just have to let it go and love them anyway.” @toodeepinthefandom

“Keeping promises when it’s convenient is easy. But easy doesn’t count for much in life.” @caitthejourno

“I think it’s time to set aside our differences.” “Not by my watch.”

“I think you’re beautiful when you’re jealous.”

“I can’t imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment.” @avengethis

“We’re sugar and spice and everything nice, so bite me.” @herbologystudent252

“You might think there’s an explanation, but you would be wrong.”

“I ain’t stupid” “well, that’s a matter of opinion.”

“I’ll be your family.” “And I’ll be your best friend”

“You know my motto. Today could be the last day of the rest of your life.”

“You’re special.” “What, like ‘stop eating the paste’ special?” @fandomoniumflurry

“I feel like I’m in the middle of a really bad after school special.”

“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.” @csulliven

“Okay, you’re being weird. Did you want sex or did you do something bad?” @roxyspearing

“I’m staying in my room, where life is beautiful.”

“Love isn’t always enough.“ “yeah, it is. You go without it long enough and you realize it’s everything.” @triciareh

Music:

Battle Cry by Beth Crowley @pencilpie

Higher than Heaven by James Durbin

I’ll do anything by Keifer Sutherland

How to Save a Life by The Fray

Every Little Thing by Carly Pearce @soullessdemontrap

Dive by Ed Sheeran

Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Assassin’s Creed Unity

Pictures

1. @pencilbean

3. @the-winchesterboys

Tags incase anyone is interested in joining or for a signal boost

@atc74 @just-another-busy-fangirl @mamaredd123 @meg-wayward-af @jessicawritessmut @amanda-teaches @roxyspearing @jayankles @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @there-must-be-a-lock @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @thing-with-that-thing-writes @wi-deangirl77 @mrswhozeewhatsis @crispychrissy @trexrambling @hannahindie @impala-dreamer @kathaswings @webcricket @imagineteamfreewill @idreamofhazel

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akira-seijuro · 5 years ago

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1/3 Last brain pill

I should have been something else. I could have made more days less painful for everyone. I love my family, friends more than I love myself. I can't do it. I can't love myself enough to let them go.

On 27th April, 2020, one of the anti depressants that I have been taking for over an year, is over. My doc, reduced the dosage and I think I'm finally done with it and I was so damn fucking happy. I think, for the first time in my entire life, including my childhood, I don't see myself as a victim anymore. Victim of being bullied, unfriended, heartbreak, academics and most importantly my friends and family.

This lockdown is like shit worst. I can't even imagine people being alone and trying to take care or themselves. It's nightmare. I can't even imagine myself in my pg or my hostel room anymore. I mean, sure I could have survived like I did all those years, but that chronic self care obsession would just make me let go of myself. On May 31st 2020, I'll be officially completing one year of my medication and June 2nd would be my father's first death anniversary and July 15th would be the time I probably saw my friend, for the last time, who totally instilled hope in me. I'd probably never see him again.

I could have been better. I don't know why I didn't. I don't know if it was my best thinking now. I could have been more patient, a better daughter. I could have been more honest, a better friend. I could have been more kind to myself. I lived in fear for so long, I don't care about my last minute anymore. I don't am have any regrets. I tried my best. I don't like when people say 'Poor you, take care of your mum. You had to go through so much at a very young age. Everybody goes through this. Everybody dies sometime. I get it, I understand your pain.'

I think what I wanted was 'It's alright. I believe in you. We'll be ok. We will go through this shit together and finally make peace with it someday.' I did have my best friend saying that to me until January 2nd, 8.30pm. Now I don't know where he is. How he is doing. I wanted to escape my life so badly, I wanted to run away from my bitterness. But it was all inside of me. I didn't want my dad's death another thing for people to say sorry for. It means something for me. Sometimes he means everything to me. Every little piece of my existence belongs to my parents. I love them very much that I can't be this girl who went through her childhood without almost making a single friend. But yeah, teenage is shit. I changed. A lot. I became more open, accepting, strong and brave. I was never afraid to tell the truth, I used to postpone but I know I would do it anyway, I would do what feels right to me. C'mon I proposed 2 guys. It was real. The love I felt. I think being in love makes you feel that everything is possible, mostly that it deepens the hope that someday you'll be happy. Chill. Both are one sided and failures. I've never been loved or cared that way. I don't think I need to. I mean my friends wholeheartedly love me and would go almost out of their way to do anything that would make me feel better at times. I never looked for a fucking replacement of the man whom I loved the most. No body can be that man who chants my name to feel better while in pain.

Rather than hurting people. I think I scared alot of people away because of my love. I guess it's so intense and feels weird. I don't know. I've started therapy for the first time in my life on October 23rd 2016, because I couldn't bear the fact that I couldn't wish the person on his birthday because my existence was irksome i guess. I still don't know what it was. But yeah. It continues till April 30th 2016 while I was in college. Every week Thursday at 3pm, a counselling session. I felt more accepted and more cared for with the space I wanted there. But frankly, I started therapy because I just wanted someone to listen to me and just try to not have an opinion good or bad about my pain, but be with me while I was processing it. I went there because I thought they'd not have any choice but to listen because I paid. But it was the best thing I did in my life. My dad's illness came back again. I mean March 2nd 2012 to December 17th 2012 is not enough. I was a lid. I didn't process shit. I just believed in god blindly and performed my duties of packing, buying groceries, boarding public transportation, learning how to ride a scooty without ever having a cycle, waiting outside operation theatre, outside radiation hall, outside chemo sessions, all while preparing for my bard exams and jee mains. I just blocked it out. All the pain and emptiness. It had to come again. Being close friends with dad, his illness pushed me to the edge of depression and I was meds which he manipulated me to stop after reaching home. I would isolate myself and would be blamed for it later. I would feel guilty that the person, my best friend whomi trusted the most left me to hang dry. Actually 2 of them. Then comes the job.

But I came to Bangalore with my cousin. When I entered royal orchid for my job orientation everyone is with someone and I was all alone. Just how I entered my college. All alone from Hyderabad to Surathkal. I opened my door, saw my roommate with her family came out and cried so much for my dad. He called my cousin and then he came to see me. It's new for him as well. So I dont blame. My dad knew what I needed until he knew he was gonna die sometime soon. I suffered, wished it to end. I tried therapy and meds again but I felt its hopeless and I stopped once the side effects were horrible from July 2017. My therapist was wonderful though. I loved her. I felt like she's my friend and I didn't want to go down that lane so I stopped. Then people told me that I'm so pessimistic to think 2018 December 22nd would be my last birthday with dad. You know it's not the worst thing to imagine the worst, sometimes its callous reality. Some doctor said this. You dont know what your people want whether they want to fight on ventilator or not. But it would be nice to get to know them. My stomach turned in may so much that I thought something bad is going to happen to my dad the whole time. Once he was scared and the practical prank he pulled took a toll on me and I colored my hair blue. It became green. I wanted to cut ties with my family and friends. No body was there then, all my friends were on business trips or we had a fight. But I made a new friend who's accepting and weird. Then another new friend with whom I randomly broke out after storming out of a meeting. I guess I started developing feelings for the former one. I didnt want all that shit because I know it's not going to work out or that it won't be reciprocated. So, I didnt want that shit to make my suffering much worse. So I realized everything is so messed up and I needed help. I stuttered and stammered dude while my dad thought he was dying but didnt. I barely remember what words I spoke or repeated. Well, second time when they called, it's true. Anyway on 31st may, with all the complications I decided I might need meds because even my body is going out of control now. Then on 1st I get that call and had to dye my hair back to brown and go see him there. This time no words came out of my mouth, it's like I forgot all the languages and how to form sentences. I couldn't promise him that I'll come out of depression, so I said I'd try in my head which obviously didnt come out because, well, like I said my body wasnt under my control. Then the only thing I wanted him to know about my life is Ayushman, lets call my first love that. I dont want to name. That I love Ayushman so much but he doesn't and its ok. I called to tell him about my new friends Bhavana and Bennington, let's call second guy that. But instead it all turned out something. But once after all that agony injecting rituals and processes, I came back and the only person o wanted to see and talk was Bennington. Then I realised what I was feeling and I accepted it and felt good that while grieving, I was able to love and not feel guilty about it. True, I tried very hard, wanted to cross oceans for him. I wanted to be there for him. But then I didn't want to force it. I don't know what the fuck I did anyway. Then a lot happened, prathista entered my life and I was loved and accepted and I could feel people wanting good for me. And that's all I needed. Besides the belief thing. Some more fights with my best friend sneha, with whom I got matching tattoos.

Then my best friend, lets call him sunshine had to like go out of the world to save love. I was alone. I was a workaholic. Knowing that someone loved me gave me immense energy to work harder, to do more good. But then Voila, my mom and cancer again. God. I didnt feel that someone is inflicting pain or that I'm a victim. I felt that these things happen and its life. It's bad but it's how it went in my life. I have no control over what happens to her. Whenever I assist her or do some stuff, I keep correlating with my dad's time with cancer. It gets so confusing. Idk. I love my mum too. I grieve. I cry. For both mum, dad. Sometimes for sunshine and Bennington. But I think it's ok. It's not something to feel bad or sorry for. It's a part of my life. I am glad I was able to back to my friendships. Gowtami, Chandu, Bokade are like pillars of support for me. I realised being kind is a way to deal with the crisis. I liked the way I lived for the first time. But I'd do anything for the people I love. I'm not going to force it. I wish them all good. People keep saying I'm strong and brave explicitly. No, I was always them. They are implicit things. Thats my character. Being able to be strong, brave, vulnerable, real honest, intense and sometimes messy. Anyway 2 more brain pills to go and still more therapy sessions. They will end when they should. I am glad that this is something that I did for myself. It's my effort despite all the discouragements I've faced about it. I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I'm so glad it has a name. I miss my dad very much right now. My mom's chicken curry too. I miss my friends.

Love,

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inkstainedfanfics · 8 years ago

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Missed Shots

Request: hello!!!!! i was the anon that requested have you ever seen a heart shatter and oh my word i am blown away!! i couldn't stop crying after reading it!! anyways, i would love to request another newt x reader where the reader is a legilimens and she reads newts mind and finds out he's in love with tina or leta (which ever one you can choose who you like i guess) and she just breaks i guess?? pure angst as always haha. please and thank you!!!

Word Count: 2,779

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Requested by Anonymous

Requests are currently open! Feel free to send one in

Part 2 | Drabble

August 1st, 1903

Sploosh. You shriek with laughter. Mud flies every which way. It lands on your cheeks. It sprinkles the front porch. You don’t care that your mother will be mad. You look at the next puddle and bend your knees.

A little boy suddenly bursts into your yard. He shouts, hands out in front of him, as a bunny darts by. Another boy, a little bigger with darker hair, tears into your yard, too. He stops when he sees you. He marches over, calling the other one, too.

“Who’re you?”

You scowl. “Who’re you?”

“I’m Theseus Scamander. This is Newt.” He prods the other boy in the back.

“Why’re you in my backyard?”

The little one stares at his feet when he answers. “We were trying to get that bunny to keep it.”

“Like as a pet?”

Newt nods.

“You’re not supposed to go into other people’s houses, you know.”

The two brothers turn red. “We know, miss.” Theseus says. “But we really wanted a bunny in the house.”

You consider. You’d have done the same. “If I help, will you let me visit the bunny?”

Their faces light up as they nod. You nod back and wipe the mud off your face.

The three of you take off screaming for the bunny.

June 23rd, 1906

“D’you know the secret password?” Newt peeks out at you from behind the door.

“An erumpent ate my pants.”

Newt grins and pulls the door open. “Get in before the doxies can!”

You scream and duck under his arm. “Don’t let them in! They’ll eat your eyes!”

He slams the door shut, whirling around to press his back against it. “Don’t worry, I won’t let them get you.”

“I almost caught the dragon but he breathed fire on the chains and broke free!”

Newt looks up at the ceiling. “Get down!”

His tiny body collides with yours and the two of you roll to the ground, laughing.

Something pounds on the door.

You and Newt look at each other, eyes wide. “It’s the doxies! They’re teaming up! Hide!”

You slide under the bed. Newt dashes under the dresser. Holding a finger to his lips, he watches the door open.

“Kids? Kids, come on out. Newt’s mom is here to bring him home.”

You raise one finger, two, three.

The two of you blast out from your spots and squeeze past your mother.

Shouting gibberish about doxies and dragons, you burst through the front door and tear down the street.

July 1st, 1908

The two of you sit in the blanket fort you’d constructed. “Are you scared?”

“Me? Scared? Never.” You set down the book you’d been reading.

Newt stares at his feet. “Theseus told me the staircases move on their own and that the teachers are called professors and they’re mean if you don’t pay attention.”

You take in Newt’s expression. “You’ve never been scared of an adventure before.”

“This isn’t an adventure like we used to have. This is real.”

You shrug and grab a handful of candy. “Those adventures were real in our minds.”

Newt doesn’t look up at you as he says, “What if I don’t belong there? What if something happens?”

You frown and wipe the sticky candy residue on your pants before you take his hand. “I’ll be there, Newt. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Newt stares at your joined hands and turns red. You turn the same shade as you try to tune out the thoughts running through his head. He doesn’t know you’re a legi – legile- what’s the word your mom taught you? Oh, legilimens. You hadn’t found a chance to tell him since you’d only known for a few months now.

You shift in your seat and draw your hand away when Newt’s thoughts become even louder.

December 17th, 1911

Newt sets his plate down next to yours. “I don’t get it.”

“What?”

“You fancy Claude?”

Your face turns a bright red as you kick Newt in the shin. “Shhh! No, I don’t.”

“He doesn’t even know what a gnome looks like.”

You scowl. “I don’t fancy him. I just think he’s funny. That’s all.”

“Why don’t you use legilimency to tell how he feels?”

“Newt,” you hiss, “That’s rude. Besides, I don’t want to know.”

“Yes, you do.” He peers out from under his shaggy red hair. “You want desperately to know.”

You stare at the bowl of chocolate pudding in front of you. “We don’t even know if there will be a ball yet. If there isn’t, what’s the point of finding out?”

Newt stares at your face. “It’ll make you happy if he fancies you too.”

“Headmaster Dippet said there may not even be a ball if not enough people are staying over the break.”

Your heart breaks later that night when you find out that not only will there be no ball, but that Claude won’t be staying at Hogwarts over break. A whole month without seeing him.

You lean against the wall of the Hufflepuff common room later that night, arms crossed over the light blue fabric of your dress. Newt invited you here for, you assumed, a party, but there’s no one around. Everyone had left earlier to go home.

You’re about to call out for Newt when he enters the room, dress robes on, lugging a record player into the room, the one record he owned stuck under his elbow. He sets it down and starts the music.

You straighten when Newt approaches, rubbing the back of his neck. “I know this isn’t the ball you were hoping for, but I thought you would still like to dance.”

He extends a hand that you take. You stumble forward, unsure of how this all exactly works. He stands half a foot away from you, hands high on your hips. You bite your lip and rest your hands on his shoulder. The two of you sway to the music the rest of the night and you forget all about Claude.

March 5th, 1913

“I’m telling you, Newt, she’s just using you! She doesn’t care about you as much as she pretends to.”

Newt paces in front of you, lip bleeding, and glowers. “You said yourself that you don’t like to read people’s minds!”

“I had to, Newt. Don’t you see that? We’re 16. She doesn’t actually love you.”

“I never claimed she does.” Newt freezes mid-stride. “How did you know she told me that?”

You falter. “I didn’t – Newt I just –“

“You promised to never root around in my mind.”

“I didn’t try. You were just so loud about it yesterday.”

“I didn’t say a thing!”

“I know, but you were so happy that I couldn’t block it out. I tried, I swear.”

He folds his hands behind his back and examines the grass in front of him. “Please go.”

You shake your head. “Don’t do this.”

“I asked you to leave, please.”

“I won’t do it again. Just listen to me about her. I saw it all.”

“Go.” Newt shoots a glare at you as his lower lip trembles.

You take a breath to say something, but let it out as you turn away.

November 3rd, 1914

Newt allows you to rub his back in small circles. “They won’t expel you. You’re so bright. They’re going to want to keep you around so they can brag about you later.”

“I don’t know about that.” He shakes his head, unwilling to talk about it any longer. “I heard you and Vince broke up.”

The sudden confession triggers tears you have to fight. “It’s nothing to worry about. He was a jerk anyway.”

Newt glances at you. “I know we haven’t exactly been talking lately, but I can still tell when you’re lying to me.”

You breath shakes when you let it out and decide to be honest. “I really cared for him.”

Newt slips out from under your arm and pulls you against his chest. You curl up against him, so natural after eleven years of being there for one another. His vest wets beneath your face as you cry.

Newt has little to say, but he presses his lips to the top of your head. “For what it’s worth, I would never break your heart if I had it.”

You know he means it.

July 31st, 1922

“She’s precious.” Newt says as he lifts the baby girl in the air.

Your friend beams. “Morrigan really is the most beautiful baby ever, isn’t she?”

You nod your head, watching as Newt makes silly faces at the child. “Do you still think that at 3 in the morning?”

She laughs. “Believe it or not, yes. Riley and I switch shifts. That’s what it’s really about.” She drones on, but your entire attention is on Newt.

When Morrigan reaches her hand out, he leans forward, letting her tug on his curls. “Don’t you pull my hair out. I need all of that. You’re so small.” He pulls her, cradling her in his arms when she fusses. “Don’t cry, I’ve got you.”

Something deep inside you flutters to life when he looks over at you and grins. “Do you see her? Isn’t she beautiful? Almost as beautiful as you.”

You make a weird face at him but turn away when your cheeks start to burn.

May 4th, 1927

“You’re going to love Queenie.”

“She’s a legilimens too, right?”

“Yes.” Newt bounces off of you as the train shakes. You’re headed to meet two of his new friends he’s talked about nonstop since he visited you a few months prior. Finally, you’d just asked to meet them yourself.

You grip Newt’s arm as the train jostles everyone around, thrilled at the excuse to be so near him. “Does she control it?”

Newt’s lips thin. “To be quite honest, I’m not sure she tries.”

You breathe and remind yourself of all the lessons you’d taken on occlumency.

The two of you make your way off the train when it stops and Newt leads you through the winding streets of New York.

The apartment is small but lovely. Tiny decorations dot the apartment and the warm smell of freshly baked apple pie wraps around you when you enter. The blonde—Queenie—frowns when you block out her attempts at delving into your thoughts but says nothing.

Newt reaches out and shakes the shorter one’s hand. The two grin at one another but don’t say much. You cough, a reminder that you exist, and Newt steps to the side.

“This is Tina.”

“I figured.” You murmur as you take the hand she extends and introduce yourself.

“It’s nice to meet you. Newt has told me all about you.”

You can’t help smiling at that. “It’s nice to finally meet the person Newt won’t shut up about.”

She looks back at him with another goofy grin. “Newt not shut up? When we first met, Newt barely spoke a word.”

You nod. “He was the same when I first met him. Where should I put my stuff?”

Queenie interrupts. “I can show you.”

You glance at Newt then back at her. “Lead the way.”

She leads you behind the kitchen table and into the hallway. “So, you’re Newt’s old friend, huh?”

“Yep.”

“You know he missed you a lot when he was here, right? He kept thinking about how much you would’ve loved to be here.”

“He and I used to go on adventures together when we were younger.”

She opens the door on her right. “You can get all set up in here.”

You thank her as she leaves. Setting your suitcase down on your bed, you cover your face with your hands and let out a small squeal. Newt had talked about you. Newt had missed you. You decide at that moment that when you return home, you’ll ask Newt on a real date.

May 6th, 1927

Roast beef and potatoes with various sides of jams, rolls, and vegetables fill the tiny table. You breathe in the relaxing aroma and scoop another spoonful of mashed potatoes onto your plate. It falls off in a sloop and you nestle the serving spoon back in the bowl, tuning back into Newt and Queenie’s conversation.

“I don’t see how you could make that claim, honey.”

“It’s quite simple. See, the eggs are made of silver.”

“I don’t know about that.” Queenie turns her gaze on you. “Would you like more to drink?”

You wipe the corners of your mouth with your napkin. “That would be great, thank you.”

After this meal, you and Newt plan to leave and catch the train back to the harbor. You have enjoyed the trip. Newt was right, you love Queenie. Tina, though, seems to be more distant, more hesitant to speak with you. You have no clue why.

Or, at least, you don’t until you notice Newt’s face and the smile he tries to fight when she invites him out.

She spears at her food. “The dance hall is supposed to be fun.” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “Maybe you and I could go one day.”

You wait for Newt’s dismissal, his excuse of being too busy, his promise that next time he would.

It doesn’t come.

“I think that’d be nice.”

You freeze, fork halfway to plate. It isn’t the way he says it that breaks your heart, and it isn’t the way he looks at her the same way he used to look at you.

No, it’s the way you suddenly can’t tune out his thoughts, the way they overwhelm you, choke you.

Queenie shifts in her seat. She must be overwhelmed, too. It’s impossible to ignore their thoughts, the absolute elation shared between both of them.

Breathless, you excuse yourself from the table with a smile, citing a sore stomach.

Newt enters your room moments after you begin tossing clothes into your suitcase. “Are you okay? Queenie said something’s wrong. Why are you packing already? We have hours.”

You shake your head. “Nothing, Newt. I just need some space.” You slam the top of your suitcase shut. God, had you really loved him and believed it was requited? All these years, you’d assumed he cared. You’d assumed he was just waiting to know if you felt the same. Really, though, he’d been falling in love with other people.

He steps forward, frowning. “You can talk to me.”

“No, I can’t. I can’t because you keep secrets from me.”

Newt’s face screws up in confusion. “I’ve never kept a secret from you. Not since third year after I ruined your hat.”

The smile he hopes for doesn’t appear. “Just give up, Newt. Let me go.”

“What’s wrong?” He reaches for you as you storm by. “Please talk to me. I don’t know what I did.”

You shake his arm off your shoulder, trying to ignore the desperate confusion in his pleas. “You didn’t do anything. I just… I just messed something up.”

Newt’s eyes—the ones you have memorized—fill with concern. “Let me help.”

You clamp your eyes shut as your voice wobbles. “I don’t think you can. I think it’s too late.”

“Please —“

“Space, Newt, please.”

He takes in your red face, your teary eyes, and the distress you seem to be feeling. “Why won’t you let me help?” The question is little more than a whisper.

“Newt.” Your soft voice breaks his heart. “Please just let me go.”

“For how long?”

“Maybe for good.”

He slouches like you’ve hit him. “What did I do?”

You press your lips together. Being kind won’t work. “You lied to me.”

“About what?”

You meet his eyes, voice hard but ache deep in your chest. “Newt, I don’t want to be your friend anymore.”

He can’t bear it, not after twenty-four years of friendship, of laughing, of jokes and adventures and shared tears. Not after he loved you for so long.

“You can’t do this.”

“I can and I am.”

“Just tell me what I did.”

“Newt, I don’t want to see you anymore, okay?”

He opens and closes his mouth twice before bowing his head and staring at the floor. “Don’t do this.”

Tears streaming over your cheeks, you begin walking out, suitcase in tow, but pause when Newt’s voice cracks through the room. “Will you—will you come back?”

You close your eyes, glad he can’t read your thoughts or see your crossed fingers, when you answer. “I don’t think so.”

The door shuts without a whisper behind you.

Newt stares at the closed door, tears in his eyes, and wonders what exactly he did wrong to drive his best friend away.

#newt scamander #newt Scamander x reader #newt Scamander imagine #newt Scamander one shots #newt Scamander imagines #fbawtft #angst #requested #yo enjoy #I hope the format isn't annoying or anything #and as always I really hope you guys like this

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aarunomura · 8 years ago

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MARGINAL#4 Index 1st Stage ~REVOLUTION!~ Chapter 8 - Pleasant★Stars ~White Day ver.~ (Translation)

★ Please DO NOT re-translate or post this translation anywhere.

CHAPTER 8: Pleasant★Stars ~White Day ver.~

It’s been almost a month since Universe FES, which ended with huge success. MARGINAL#4, who splendidly reenacted the legendary idols’ stage, have been spending busy yet fulfilling days ever since that day. Their interviews on TV and for magazines have considerably increased compared to before. But that doesn’t mean that they can afford to miss out on dancing and singing lessons. The boys are earnestly working with such a busy schedule. For them to be doing really well, as their Manager, I am truly filled with gratitude.

(I also need to work hard.)

I can’t allow myself to hold them back when they are working so hard. I go to confirm today’s schedule with them at once when...

“Can you stop playing around...?! Marimo or Twitter, which one do you think is superior!!” “Leaving the question of which one is superior aside, marimo are cuter.” “Stupid, Twitter is overflowing with cute images!! You know nothing!”

(...?!)

Just as I entered the agency, I could hear Atom-kun’s and Eru-kun’s voices. Moreover, they don’t sound exactly calm. It sounds like they are having some sort of argument.

(Even though they haven’t been fighting recently...!)

At the time when MARGINAL#4 was just formed, quarrels in which they would raise their voices were not uncommon; however, such quarrels had become practically non-existent recently.

“What’s the matter, you two?!” “...It’s nothing.”

The moment I entered the room, the both of them awkwardly averted their gazes.

(...?)

This is strange. Usually, the two of them would try to get me to side with them by insisting just how right they are and how wrong the other person is. But this time, upon my entering the room, they stopped fighting. Even Atom-kun has sunk into silence, his mouth turned down at the corners.

“It is nothing. Please do not worry about it.” “Mhm, it’s nothing to be worried about.”

Rui-kun and Aru-kun, who were watching the bickering pair from a distance, also tried to reassure me that the fight was nothing.

“...Is everything okay?” “Like I said, it’s nothing. Everything’s okay!” “Yep yep, Atom-kun and I are getting along just fine!”

Atom-kun and Eru-kun wrap an arm around each other’s shoulders while smiling. Atom-kun’s expression is somewhat stiff though.

“A-Anyway, let’s go over today’s schedule!” “R-Right...”

I get the feeling that something is definitely wrong... But I was unable to say anything else. With Aru-kun urging me like that, we got right into confirmation of the schedule.

☆★☆

I took the four to the studio for their magazine interviews afterwards. While they are doing their interviews, I leave the hallway to go and prepare drinks when...

(...Eyes?)

Getting the feeling that I’m being watched, I swiftly turn around.

“...!” “...Aru-kun?”

Aru-kun, who should be doing the interview at the studio, withdrew his face into hiding in panic.

“What’s wrong? Was there some sort of problem?” “E-Err, um, well... I-It’s nothing...!!”

Saying only that, Aru-kun ran away.

“...?”

The shy and reserved Aru-kun is usually nervous, but this is the first since our first meeting that he’s behaving in a suspicious manner towards me.

(And here I had thought he’d opened up to me...)

It looks like I still need to put in more effort in order to understand him.

☆★☆

This time, I took the four to the studio for their dance lessons.

“I’ll come to pick you up when your practice is over.” “Um, Manager.”

I was about to return to the agency for a bit when Rui-kun calls me to stop.

“What’s up?” “Once dance lessons end, there isn’t anything else in our schedule afterwards for today, is there?” “Nope, after today’s dance lessons, that’s it. I believe the four of you are off at around evening.” “Then may I have a little bit of your time afterwards? There is something I wish to talk to you about.” “Something you want to talk to me about?”

Rui-kun’s expression is serious. It must be something important.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll make some time then.” “Thank you very mu...” “Oi, Rui.” “Rui-kuuun, won’t you have a little chat with me?”

Atom-kun and Eru-kun interrupted before Rui-kun, who had a relieved expression, could finish speaking. To show his protest, Aru-kun is also clutching tightly onto the hem of Rui-kun’s clothes in silence.

“...Haah. Very well. I apologise, but please pretend that promise just now did not happen.” “Eh?”

Rui-kun apologetically bowed his head and entered the studio with the other three.

(D-Did they just hush him...?)

What on earth is going on?

☆★☆

The four were definitely acting weird after that as well. Atom-kun and Eru-kun were arguing loudly but then fell into silence when I appeared. Aru-kun, who was blushing for some reason, watched me while hiding. And Rui-kun repeatedly looked like he wanted to say something before sighing and giving up. After I dropped them off at the studio for their dance lessons, I decided to consult with Director about it at the agency.

“...And with that, the four of them are acting strange. But when I asked them about it, the four of them refused to tell me...” “I wonder what is going on.”

From the way Director is also tilting her head to the side, it seems like she has no answer either.

“...Haah.” “For even you to be sighing, whatever is the matter?” “No, it’s just... I feel a little sad that they won’t tell me anything. I understand that that doesn’t mean that they can’t trust me but...” “...Right. I believe those children fully trust you. Surely, they aren’t saying anything to you because they believe they can solve what is happening this time between themselves.” “You may be right.” “That’s right, you should just maintain calm, and support them in times of need.” “Yes!”

(She’s right, I need to be steadfast for when the time calls for it.)

Thanks to Director, I feel a lot better. Firing myself up, I go to pick up the boys.

☆★☆

I go to pick them up from their dance lessons a little earlier than I usually do. After all, the four are always happy to have an audience even if it’s just me. So when I quietly open the door to the floor and enter today just like any other day...

“...?!”

The scene that unfolded before my eyes stopped my breathing. The reason for that is because the four are in a scuffle.

“Hold it, what do you four think you’re doing?!”

Thinking that I have to stop them no matter what it takes, I try to step in and break them apart.

“Owah?!” “Woah...!” “W-Wah, it’s dangerous to just jump in without warning!” “Do you want to join in as well?”

I stopped moving the exact moment I heard their nonchalant voices.

“You... weren’t fighting?” “No! We were refining a rough idea for our new choreo!” “It was Atom-kun who suggested it.” “Atom-kun was saying that he wants a showy action component to the choreography this time.” “I think a fighting motion from online games would’ve been good though.” “Oh what the heck... You startled me there...”

I feel relieved, and the strength leaves my body at the same time. I had become quite flustered, thinking that an unthinkable crack had entered their relationship.

“Sorry, we didn’t mean to worry you that much.” “You worry too much. Why would we get into a fist fight now after all this time?” “That’s true but... Everyone was acting strange ever since this morning so I thought something happened.” “...Ah.” “About that...”

Each of the four awkwardly exchange glances.

“Causing Manager to worry defeats the purpose.” “...Pretty much.” “That’s true.” “Yeah.”

Starting with Rui-kun’s words, each of the four let out a small sigh and turned to face me.

“You, know what day it is today?” “What day...? Um, was there a problem with the schedule?” “No! It’s March 14! It’s obviously White Day!” “...Ah.”

Only does Atom-kun mention it do I realise that. I had completely forgotten about the actual day itself, partly because the shoots for their feature articles on White Day for magazines and TV ended quite a while back.

“Even when you were super busy with FES preparations, you didn’t forget about Valentine’s Day, right.” “I was very happy about the chocolates.” “Me too. That was why we wanted to thank you...” “Which was why we were arguing over who would be the one to invite you.” “So that was why Atom-kun and Eru-kun were fighting?” “Yeah.” “The conversation took a completely different turn midway through though, and it turned into an argument over something completely irrelevant.”

For some reason, Atom-kun is puffing out his chest with pride, while Eru-kun shrugs his shoulder in an unapologetic manner.

“And that was why Aru-kun was watching me from hiding?” “Um... I was going to invite you, but when the moment arrived, I felt embarrassed and couldn’t say it.”

Fidgeting, Aru-kun dropped his gaze with blushed cheeks.

“And Rui-kun’s important matter?” “I thought that inviting you openly would be the most appropriate idea, but the three forestalled me so I gave up.”

Rui-kun explained to me in a way that was easy to understand while sighing.

“...And that’s that.”

I heaved a sigh of relief, knowing that there wasn’t any problem between the four. Atom-kun faces my way and opens his mouth to speak once more.

“We knew we had the whole day to compete with each other, but not one of us wanted to let the other steal a march on them.” “But by doing so, no one will be able to thank you for Valentine’s.” “So it can’t be helped, but we’ve decided to join forces.” “...Eh?” “In saying that, won’t you go and have dinner with us?!” “With you four?” “Yeah, with us four.” “Did you already have plans?” “You’re not going to turn us down, are you?” “Is that a no...?”

The four of them stare at me and wait for my reply.

(I already know my answer.)

“Of course I’d love to!” “Alright!” “Leave the reservations to me.” “Is there anything you want to eat?” “A place that has a White Day-themed full-course meal would be good, I think.”

The four are happily getting hyped up about it. And as if suddenly remembering something, Aru-kun looked back at me.

“Um... We also feel that we need to do something for our fans who are always supporting us, but is that not allowed, I wonder?” “Ah, now that you mention it...”

From Aru-kun’s words, I recall the fans who have still been supporting them from before MARGINAL#4′s success at the FES. There were quite a large number of girls who sent in chocolates to the agency.

“Our Valentine’s messages along with our words of gratitude were also published in the magazine but...” “We also wanna do something special on actual White Day.” “If we’re talking about something we can do right now, then I guess a blog post? Hey, Manager, are we allowed to take a picture?” “Picture?” “One to go with a message.” “If we do that, it’ll feel special!”

(If it’s that much...)

If it’s uploading their photo onto the blog, I can give them permission.

“It’s fine. So what photo are you going for?” “Isn’t it fine like this? It gives off the feeling that MG#4 is working hard today like always to meet all of the fans again.” “We look kinda messy now that it’s after practice, but it’s probably fine since that kind of thing is also much like the real us, huh.” “Ah, I got a new model recently! Let’s take it with this!” “I’ll take the photo for us! I’m super good at taking selfies!” “‘Good at taking selfies,’ you say... Somehow, that is a little sad.” “Looks like Atom-kun has no friends, pupu.” “What was that?!” “Okay, okay, how about I take it for you?” “Thanks! But since this is a ‘gift’, I think it’s best that we take it ourselves!” “I see! As expected of Atom-kun!” “Alright, here I go! 3. 2. 1.”

*click*

Each of them giving me something in return of course makes me happy. But what makes me even happier is seeing them happily getting excited like this. Four people have overcome many difficulties and are united together as MARGINAL#4. And those four care about their fans, who are supporting them, as well as me in ways such as this.

(Thank you, Atom-kun, Rui-kun, Eru-kun, Aru-kun.)

As I gazed once more at the four, I strengthened my resolve to keep on giving it my all together with the members of MARGINAL#4.

The end. ➤ 2nd Index: LOVE★SAVIOR Chapter 1

That marks the end of this first index /o/ The next index shall focus on their 2nd single, LOVE★SAVIOR.

Thank you so much for reading!!

#marginal 4 #marginal4 #rejet #kirihara atom #nomura aru #aiba rui #nomura eru #my translation #index

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xhapjeongkrp-blog · 8 years ago

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( We thought we were running away from the grown-ups, and now we are the grown-ups. )

Name: Ahn Myungsoo Age: 24 Occupation: Musician

LEAVING SOMETHING SHORT OF INNOCENT

It’s four in the morning and he’s sober walking through the rain. One foot after another, this was his life now. There are no certainties, there are no promises, and he is sure of it – unable to see any other side. This is simply how things are now. And he is coming to terms with liking it.

From a young age, anyone could tell that Ahn Myungsoo wasn’t the breadwinner of the Ahn family; his destiny was written in the way he would play with his friends or slack off in class. His younger brother, Kyungsoo, would grow up to be the antithetical of Myungsoo – he was their parents’ pride and joy, the kind of kid you want at a family reunion.

The past was the past, but it still lingers from time to time. Sometimes, Myungsoo regretted not trying hard enough throughout his primary and secondary education. He rarely broke into any rank worth mentioning and surely wasn’t the teacher’s pet; Myungsoo was too busy learning chord progressions and slapping a song together. It was safe to say that he wasn’t cut out for the university life, and he still isn’t (not like he would have wanted to go anyway). He was, however, jealous when Kyungsoo was accepted into a SKY university and was able to redirect his life out of Shit City (read: Daejeon).

Myungsoo’s youth was filled with this: being the first but second child, not being able to live up to expectations, and finding it hard to not be jealous of his brother. It also consisted of odd-end jobs, learning the tricks of the trade of multiple trades. He needed to raise money to buy what he wanted; his parents gave all of their time, their money, and (he also assumed) their love to his younger brother. There wasn’t enough left for him.

LAST REMAINING FILTER ON LAST REMAINING WORDS

He formed his band “Passive Victims”, graduated high school, and obtained his motorcycle license around the same time; he could feel life propelling him into something suicidally beautiful: the life of an artist on the road. This was also the time when he began introducing himself as “Moon” – the new name was slightly cooler and made his angsty, rocker image easier to swallow.

Passive Victims were picking up a fanbase slowly, but steadily. At least they could get their music out on a few mainstream music streaming sites – it was a start. At a small basement concert in a bar north of the city center of Daejeon, he met a girl. Moon and The Girl were inseparable for two years.

Tomorrows don’t mean anything at night. How could he think of the future when his right now was the best in his life? He was whole. Between The Girl and the band, pieces of pain were cracking and chipping off his of his skin and into a pile of his old self that was set to burn at the snap of his fingers. Those two years he would later come to reminisce in, unknowingly realizing that they were going to be the best in his life.

Things either fall into place at the best time or the worst. Moon and The Girl had a falling out in March of 2017; it wasn’t something he was completely proud of, but it was something he couldn’t denounce as “not his fault”. He had a habit of getting too drunk and he may or may have not mistaken a random girl at the bar for The Girl. After hands were on thighs and lipstick was laced into the creases of his lips, things between Moon and The Girl cracked.

Her soul was the mirror image of his own; her negative qualities weren’t canceled out by his positive. Both of their selves were amplified by the other, but mostly in the worst ways. When fire fights fire with fire, nothing good comes of it.

They had a fight the night of March 31st. It didn’t end in screaming, only doors slamming. Moon went to his favorite bar to get sober and to think. He left with eyes filled with left-over tears and blurred vision from one too many bottles of soju. It doesn’t take a college graduate to do the math: a motorcycle, 3 AM, alcohol, heartache, and a high way don’t necessarily add up to a happy ending.

IF I HAD ANY OTHER HEART

He could have lost his life, but instead lost mobility of his dominant arm temporarily. A dislocated shoulder, a shattered elbow, a broken wrist, and a skinned leg was something he could live with. Moon was still unsure if he could live with himself.

When The Girl and his band members didn’t visit him in the hospital, he knew he should go and so he did. Ahn Myungsoo left for Seoul on April 15th with two duffel bags, two guitars, one backpack, a full arm cast, and a one way KTX ticket.

He was lucky enough to find a place to live in a neighborhood close to potential work. Hapjeong was expensive for someone with no money. Perhaps it was fate that the building owner was a fan of Passive Victims and offered him the rooftop apartment in exchange for a small monthly fee and bar-tending on the first floor to make up the difference.

The cast on his arm came off two months after his surgery to reset his bones, which levels out to June 1st. He wasn’t as strong as he was before, but Myungsoo could work more if he wore a brace and shook off the pain. Recently, he had been going onto Cragislist and other sites to find odd jobs for some quick cash. Having random knowledge of random trades came in handy. Hopefully sometime soon, he will be able to have time to play music more, too. Maybe even begin a new band or go solo.

But it was times like these when he remembered how he had loved her from just under his breath. 4 AM sober walks from the club on the other side of Hongdae brought him memories of how life can change so quickly. How could she continue to cling to his heart so tightly from miles away? It felt as if each beat was from her hand, squeezing and letting him go. His wounds were covering spite, and he was arguably still in love.

Myungsoo doesn’t know where or when life will take him, but he’ll go along with it. There is no point in fighting fate.

#hpj: accepted

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hotfitnesstopics · 7 years ago

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Hey guys! 2018 has been such a crazy year. Sir George came into our lives unexpectedly, I’ll be getting married this year, and then one of the biggest honors of my life: I was asked to go give the Commencement Speech for my alma mater, Whittier College. AHHHHHHH!!!! WHAT!!???? I didn’t really think I’ve have the opportunity to do this maybe until much much later in my life, but when the President of Whittier College personally left me a message on my phone, I knew something was up. Anyway, before I share my transcript with you, I wanted to share a somewhat funny and highly stressful thing that happened the week of my speech writing. So, I’m writing my speech the Monday before I’m supposed to give the speech on Friday – giving me 4 solid days to prep. I finished the entire 20-minute speech that evening, sent it to Sam and my sister to look at, but inside, I didn’t really love it. Well let’s just say that over the course of the entire week, I kept writing and rewriting until I had made 21 different versions of my speech by Thursday night!!! I just didn’t like any of the versions! I hated all of them! I suddenly became the perfectionist student version of myself and simply could not accept anything I was doing as good enough! I did not intend for it to go on this long, but on 4 AM on Friday morning (morning of the speech) I was STILL writing and rewriting the intro and fixing the sections in between…AGAIN!! My the wee hours of the morning, my eyelids were so heavy and splashing water on my face no longer worked. So I went to sleep with version 22 on my laptop. Then when I woke up, I began to rewrite again. Are you stressed yet? Am I crazy? Yeah, maybe. Go time was 8:30 AM on the field. At 8:17 AM is when we printed out draft 23 with edits made that very morning from the hotel printer. And guess what? THEY RAN OUT OF PAPER. Hahahaha. But eventually it was restocked and I made it to the lineup almost right before everyone walked on the field. The papers in my hand were still warm from the printer. So anyway, that’s how speech prep went. As stressful as EVER. But, I am very happy with draft 23 of my speech. So here it is. The words that I shared with the Class of 2018 at Whittier College on May 18th, 2018. Enjoy. 5 Things I Wish I Could Tell my 22-Year Old Self By: Cassey Ho Thank you so much Dr. Van Osbree for the warm intro! And thank you President Herzberger! It truly is an honor to come back to Whittier and have the opportunity to speak you, the Class of 2018! Sharon, I don’t know if you planned this, but your timing is impeccable! Did you guys know that my 1st year at Whittier was Sharon’s 1st year as Whittier’s president? And now here I am coming back to give this year’s Commencement speech as we celebrate Sharon’s final year serving the college. Let’s give it up for President Herzberger! And for things coming full circle! Being back here on campus makes me so emotional. I mean, when I look at Stauffer, I can vividly see the moment my mom and dad left me as a little freshman crying my face off like an abandoned child as they drove away. When I look at the Science Building, I can see myself frantically walking up the stairs in a hoodie and top knot, trying to last minute memorize the 4 nitrogenous bases found in DNA. Guanine, Adenine, Thymine, Cytosine. Right Dr. Bourgaize? And when I look at the CI, I remember all the food I stuffed myself with because I treated every meal like I was at Hometown Buffet. Let’s just say the Freshman 15 was very real. Seeing these buildings again and seeing my professors again makes me realize how much Whittier played a role in sculpting me into the person I am today. So many micro-decisions were made right here, that at the time, I thought were trivial. But they ended up changing the entire course of my career. Graduates, I am really excited to have the honor to speak to you today. From Poet to Poet and peer to peer, I really want to take this opportunity to have a real talk with you before you march across this stage into adulthood. If you’re feeling lost or unsure of what you’re meant to do, don’t worry. That’s normal. Your 20s are meant for figuring these things out. Actually, the rest of your life is meant for figuring things out, but hopefully you will have learned a few things by then. Look, I’m not going to stand here and pretend that I know everything, because I don’t! But I can tell you 5 things I wish I could have told my 22 year old self. #1. Love your parents. But know they’re not always right. As a child of strict Asian immigrant parents, I also grew up being falsely advertised that there were only 3 career options for me. For my Asian brothers and sisters out there, you know what I’m talking about, right?! And if you don’t, let me break it down for you. Us Asian kids only had the choice of becoming a doctor, lawyer, or engineer. That’s it. Any other option was a disgrace to the family. My dad decided he wanted a doctor in the family, so that was my fate. The problem was, I didn’t want to have anything to do with being a doctor. I had been sketching gowns ever since I was 6 – sewing clothes for my Barbies and then designing my friends’ prom dresses. But when I told my dad that I wanted to be a fashion designer, he glared at me and said: “No. You will do no such thing.” “Why?” I asked. “If you become a fashion designer, you will be poor. You will be unsuccessful. So…you know what that means, right?” “What?” “It means you will have NO FRIENDS!” Looking back, I think it was the “no friends” part that really got to me. So I dutifully accepted my fate, tucked my dream away, and went off to major in Biology and minor in Business. But it wouldn’t be long before I realized how painful it was to be living out someone else’s dream while sacrificing my own. #2. Take responsibility for your own destiny. For the next couple years, I was really unhappy at school. I clearly saw that I was putting in all my time and energy into a career I did not want to have anything to do with! I felt trapped in between familial obligations and my own happiness. I called my parents hundreds of times, trying to explain to them how much I wanted to switch majors and pursue design. But each phone call ended in a screaming match – a war of them threatening I’d fail and me yelling that I wouldn’t. The calls always ended with me crying uncontrollably into my pillow every night. My spirit was breaking. I was so miserable. Until – I decided to take responsibility for my feelings. Was it really my parents standing in the way of my happiness? Or was it actually me? What I realized is that I was the one ultimately standing in my own way. So I chose not to be a victim of the situation and instead shifted the power from my parents’ hands into my hands, which gave me the permission to take control of my own destiny. So Junior year, I decided to sabotage my perfect academic record so that there could be no turning back. I dropped out of the very last class I needed in order to apply for Med School. That class was Organic Chemistry. Sorry Dr. Isovitch but I promise it wasn’t personal. I felt so free. So alive. I was finally living for me! With so much inspiration flooding my body, I started designing and sewing my first prototypes right up here in Turner. #3. Do more things that make you smile, and less things that don’t. Do you know what those things are that you would do all day even if you weren’t getting paid? Ok not watching Netflix – but everything else! The things you can’t stop thinking about. I want you to listen to little signals your body is giving you. Don’t ignore them. They mean something. You know that feeling when your heart tenses and your breathing becomes a little irregular. Probably a sign you shouldn’t be doing something. You know that feeling when you can’t stop smiling and your stomach turns into butterflies? That. Keep doing that. It all started with me leading some mini Pilates sessions with my floormates just for fun! The girls would gather in the common area and do some double leg lifts together after class. It was also here at Whittier that I fatefully answered a Craigslist ad for an open Pilates Instructor position at a gym in Uptown Whittier. Turns out all those years of doing Mari Winsor’s Pilates DVDs for 4 easy payments of $19.95 was finally paying off because – I somehow got the job! Pilates was a godsend for me. It was one of the only things really keeping me sane throughout college, especially with all the family/career drama that was happening at the time. When my parents found out I was teaching, they were FURIOUS. They told me to stop wasting my time. They told me to quit immediately and go back to studying. But I decided to stick with the things that made me smile instead. #4. Give, give, give and you shall receive. Graduating from Whittier meant leaving the life I knew so well here. This also meant leaving my Pilates students at the gym for a job on the East Coast. My students were devastated. “Who’s going to teach POP Pilates now?” they asked. “We’re going to miss you so much.” So I got to thinking. How could we still keep in touch? How could they still work out with me? Well, that was when I got the idea to upload a 10-minute workout video to a little website called YouTube. The year was 2009 and there was no money to be made and no fame to be had. It was simply a video sharing site. And that’s what I did. I simply shared. #5. If you’re willing to bet on anything, bet on yourself. As I was sitting in my cubicle in Boston, I got a text from an old student with a photo of their finger pointing to something in a magazine. The text said, “Is this your yoga bag?” My heart stopped. It was one of the bags I made in college. I ran to the elevator, sprinted to my car, and sped over to the nearest Target. I was shaking so hard when I got to the magazine section. I tried to flip open the pages, but I kept dropping it. Finally, when I was able to calm myself down, I turned the pages slowly one by one. And then there it was. SHAPE Magazine had named my yoga mat bag one of the hottest new products of the summer. It was now SO clear to me what I needed to do. I quit my job, I bought a ticket to China that same day and flew out to Guangzhou the next day. I was going to attend the biggest trade show in the world and find a manufacturer. I was going to go big. Because if I were going to invest in anything, I was going to invest in myself. When I got back to Boston, I had rent to pay, groceries to buy, no income and no money. I was poor. Just like my dad had predicted if I became a designer. But unlike my dad had predicted, being financially poor did not mean I would have no friends. I actually was beginning to make a lot of friends. Friends online, all over the world – thanks to YouTube. What started as a genuine intention to give the gift of Pilates to 40 people at the gym turned into what is now the #1 female fitness channel on YouTube, Blogilates, with over 4 Million Subscribers. What started as 1 class at a local gym right here in Whittier is now a real live format with over 4,000 POP Pilates classes being taught every single month all over the world. What started as 1 sketch in the sidelines of my bio notebook in that science building right there is now an international multimillion dollar activewear brand. And, bonus fact: What started as me asking the tutor “Will you help me get an A?” turned into that very same guy getting down on one knee asking me, “Cassey, will you marry me?” 10 years ago, Sam and I met at those fateful green tables in front of the Business Admin offices when I was a junior and he was a senior, and now we’re getting married this October! Poets, you and I are cut from the same purple and gold fabric. We were both bred on this very same campus, by these amazing professors, taught to think outside the box with our liberal arts education. When I was here I promised myself that somehow, some way, I was going to go out there and make Whittier proud. Class of 2018, after your caps are thrown and your selfies are taken, the next chapter of your life begins. As you write your story, give yourself the permission make mistakes, do those things you can’t stop thinking about, and most importantly, be a good human. Good luck! Now let’s do this. 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