#this is a very interesting topic for me as a music educator from the us

[doctorwhoisadhd]

so wait, since i was just reminded of the recorder thing donna talked about in the giggle, i now have a question for uk ppl: do yall learn the recorder in school? like in a music class? and like how much do yall have music class over there?

[fairy-switchblade]

Hi! I’m a femme. My partner is butch, and previously identified as stone butch but has been gradually moving out of that label over the past year. Something which has been really important for our relationship, and their healing, is having an emergency plan for when they become triggered especially as they have been re-evaluating their boundaries. I have a slightly different emergency plan from their emergency plan; mine is designed to help me help them, as a partner. I thought I could share it, as it might help somebody out.

❤️🚨the triggered state emergency care plan for a partner 🚨❤️

Identify - Recognise your person is triggered. This can be a little different for everybody, so if you’re not sure I suggest discussing with partner what a triggered state might look like for them at an appropriate moment, when they feel secure and comfortable to have that conversation. My partner is often but not always non-verbal when triggered. They will have stiff, controlled body language, sometimes not moving. They will not respond towards the sound of my voice, or touch. They will not seem like themself. They will stare at nothing. They will often be very pale and clammy. It can be quite scary if your partner presents like this- but do not panic! Take a nice deep breath and remember they’ve got this, and you’ve got this.

Remove - remove the trigger, as much as possible. Be calm and clear about what you are doing. My partner and I agreed that when they are in a triggered state, I have their permission to move their physical body away from what is triggering them if necessary, for example if they are on top on top of me I can roll them safely off and away from me, or get them from a chair to the floor. Please do not offer or suggest this if you are not confident that you can physically move your person safely and without potentially re-traumatising them. Do the best you can; there is 0 shame in not agreeing to do something if you’re not sure you can do it. The key thing here is that because my partner and I both know they may be unable to consent in the moment, we have establish an ongoing prior consent agreement in the interest of their safety. We both understand the risks involved, and have discussed the best approach to mitigate the risks. This is understandably a very difficult and complicated topic for them to discuss, so establishing this has taken a very long time- and I suggest you take your time talking to your partner about what they want as well. Examples of removing could include switching off the TV program or music, immediately stopping any kind of physical activity that had been happening (doesn’t have to be sexual but it could be), or removing something which has a particular touch or scent. I will always tell them what I am doing, regardless of whether they respond. It might be that this is a new trigger or you’re not sure what’s triggered them. Stay calm, and logically assess what happened immediately before. Chances are you can make an educated guess- for example, your partner might have gone into a triggered state in the middle of you watching TV together, something thats normally fine. What was on TV? Were you cuddling up together? If you’re not sure whats triggered them and they can’t tell you, don’t get too wrapped up in trying to figure it out. You can reflect on that later- right now you just need to do your best, and focus on them getting grounded back into the present.

Ground - Once the trigger is mitigated, I help my partner use their preferred grounding techniques. These are methods to help relax their nervous system and bring them back to the present moment. I can maybe make a separate post about what these are if anyone wants them. We have practiced their grounding techniques together, and expect their techniques to evolve over time. Sometimes it is enough for me to just sit and observe whilst my partner does their grounding alone, other times they need me to gently prompt them or do the grounding with them. I will speak calmly and clearly to my partner and maintain relaxed body language. I stay with them and let them know I’m going to stay. I respect their personal space. I let them know what I am going to do before I do it, and remain focused on their evolving situation.

Soothe - through grounding, my partner will come back into themselves slowly. They are usually tired, and not very talkative. At this point I offer compassion and understanding. I ask them what they need, ie: “would you like your warm blanket” *nods head* “okay I’m going to grab that for you. I’ll be upstairs for 2 minutes.” I might offer a soothing touch if they indicate they’d like that- more typically I would let them come to me and ask for it rather than suggest this. This is very often running my fingers through their hair, or gentle arm scratches with my long nails. Following a period of disassociation, I would encourage my partner towards self-care. They prefer to be alone for this, so I give them space. I do household bits and bobs so they’re not burdened by it later, like meal prepping and filling up their bike.

Re-assess - I check back in on my partner later. Once they’ve been triggered they will be affected by it for some time afterwards, and are more likely to go into a dissociative state again. If that happens remain calm, and go back through the process.

Reflect - I will invite my partner to come to me for reflection on what happened when they’re ready. In the meantime, I will take time out to privately reflect on it. I talk to my therapist and use my journal, and my art practice. I acknowledge everything that my partner being triggered brought up for me, and how I feel now. I observe my feelings without attaching to them. I make note of what worked and what didn’t, and try to recall what happened before, during, and after my partner was triggered. I do this away from my butch. They might speak to me about their experience of it, and they might not be able to. I accept that I am always learning and so is my butch, and I show myself compassion as we work this out together. You’ve got to remember you cannot care for your partner if you are not also caring for yourself!

Disclaimer: I do not suggest that this is for everybody, and I strongly recommend you seek support from a trauma informed healthcare professional if you’d like advice on supporting a loved one on their healing journey. I have learned so much over the past year and I am learning all the time- there is no such thing as the perfect supportive femme with this, and it is important you show yourself compassion, keep learning, keep communicating with your partner, and keep trying your best!

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 18: Balls (Bullet Train)

Sometimes (oftentimes) it's true that all you need are Balls. I personally absolutely love Balls. I'm a big fan! Ekhem. Today I'm using the help of (I mean, copying most of the passages from it) my earlier Balls rant that I have written down after my first listen of it back in January. I really love this album and I don't want to completely skip over saying a couple words on it at least but I really don't think I have the headspace to write anything very good for it today. I'll still try though!

So yeah, Balls. It's a great album, fun and chill (in my sense of what I call and consider chill anyway), consistent, as Sparks albums tend to be, and as I suspected / hoped it does fit this specific vibe of driving around at night somewhere city-like and illuminated. Or being on a train deep at night and looking at the world zooming by (if you'd even see much of it on a train at night anyway.....). And I do think that it's not so dissimilar to Gratsax (I'd say now that it's definitely darker and moodier than its predecessor...). So it's interesting to think about how it's considered to be one of the "weak" ones (by music reviewers at least) while Gratsax is so beloved in comparision.

I will admit, I don't really know what the big problem with this album could be. As I said, it's fun, it has the melodies, it has the energy, it has the theatricality (I like seeing how more and more orchestral instruments such as strings are being incorporated into the music, in a way the jump into Lil' Beethoven two years later doesn't come of as THAT much of a shock because of this. The evolution of sound here is fascinating!) I really like the intense beats, just as much as the more laid-back and moodier pieces. And there's lots of gold to be found in the lyrics department as always.

One more thing I wanna say is that at some point I wondered if this music sounds older than it is. Maybe it does? But then I remembered that this was 2000 and honestly when I think about it, there just IS something about this album that fits so well with the Y2K image and vibe and all. Sparks 2000 and all that.

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Balls: I mean. It's Balls.

Scheherazade: absolutely LOVE this one and I had the strangest impression of it sounding very familiar when I first heard it. Months later I found out that it was just briefly featured in TSB so I think that explains it (I will talk more about my TSB viewings on TSB day. EVERYTHING has to be explained in excruciating detail, lmao)

The Calm Before The Storm: bugsonas 4ever. Song itself is amazing too

How To Get Your Ass Kicked: how can a song about getting your ass kicked be so pleasant and relaxing, it always keeps cracking me up, how perfect that is actually

Bullet Train: I love it how introducing the topic of the song with a "It's the [topic of the song]" is a reoccurring theme on this album. Thank you Sparks for this ode to technology and art (these lyrics always have me giggling). And also it just goes hard as heck

It's Educational: a perfect fusion of / sequel to I Thought I Told You To Wait In The Car and Progress (it's mostly the vocal delivery that reminds me of the latter)

The Angels: such an odd one here but I still like it a lot, I apparently said that it sounds "surprisingly mainstream for Sparks but somehow in a positive way". It's very sweet and I absolutely love how Russell sings here, it's so different from what we're used to but that only makes it hit you even more in the feels, lol. And I actually prefer the alternative version of this song that's featured as a bonus track, and I do think that's in big part because you can hear Russell better on it (or that was my first impression of it at least and it kind of stuck)

[sugaringcozy]

Donghyuck/Haechan Natal Chart Reading - Part 3: Childhood and Education

Disclaimers: 

☁️ This natal chart reading is for entertainment purposes and this is just my perspective. Take this with a grain of salt.

☁️ My intention from this reading is just to understand Donghyuck better and appreciate the person he is, where any sensitive topics come up I do not claim to know them as fact or wish to speculate.

☁️ This idol has given two different birth times, 10am and 6pm. This reading is based of his 6pm Natal Chart as I am not sure which birth time was given more recently and this chart seems more accurate to me.

Please do not copy my work and credit me if referencing!

🪐Neptune in 3rd House is a very interesting placement and there is a lot to cover here. 3rd house can suggest a lot about your childhood and early education. What I have picked up with the Neptune ruling third house is that Donghyuck was probably very imaginative and spent a lot of time daydreaming as a child, which is encouraged by the Aquarius placement as this is a naturally imaginative sign. Likely had a lot of ideas and was clumsy due to his mind being elsewhere. Can suggest anxiety in childhood - either in the child themselves or in circumstances which caused the child to worry excessively. For Haechan I imagine this would have been a result of being left with his grandparents as the eldest of 4. He likely felt a lot of uncertainty and insecurity around his family situation. Third House Neptune in Aquarius also suggests distance from your parents growing up. Neptune in the third house also suggests a parent was absent from your life during childhood, which we know was true. When Aquarius is in the third house, these adults tend to like to distance themselves from their childhood and as such Donghyuck likely prefers not to think about that period of his life. Donghyuck would have learned a lot through play, imaginative games and socialising with other kids. This placement also has a tendency to concentrate heavily or not at all. This house is on the Pisces cusp so Haechan would have learned best with no distractions. Neptune also rules dance, music and acting so Haechan is naturally talented in these areas and would have been drawn to them since he was little and started dance classes young. 🎭

👨‍👩‍👧‍👧 3rd House can give some insight on childhood as well as sibling relationships growing up - in Capricorn this represents being the responsible sibling, could have “parented” other siblings or feels a need to protect them. Capricorn in 3rd also shows the importance of the native to their family - Donghyuck is a main authority in his family and has caused a big shift in dynamic - which could of course be the fact that Donghyuck has brought a large amount of wealth to his family through his career.

🦁 9th House is always interesting as it can tell you about someone’s father and their relationship. A Leo Moon in 9th House suggests a father who is creatively inclined, proud, brave, dominant and hard-working. Hyuck likely has a good relationship with him and regards him very well, although a theme of independence also comes up with this placement. To me it makes sense as Donghyuck has lived most of his life away from his Dad, but clearly admires him and his sacrifices for their family. You also inherit certain traits from your father - the fact Leo is his Moon would indicate Hyuck has inherited many of his father’s mental traits - his bravery, his fire-like passion, and likely his creative talents too - I think Donghyuck mentioned in ‘Lost Boys’ that his parents met while they were working as musicians?

☀️ Donghyuck’s Gemini Sun and Mars Conjunction tells us more about his father, as Sun represents father and Mars represents warrior - so often this combination can suggest a father who ‘fights’ for a living, like being a fire-fighter, soldier etc or it can be a father who is very warrior-like - fierce and courageous, leading his family through difficulty. Often these fathers are also strict and have high standards for their children.

✨ Square between Jupiter and Uranus can signify an inner conflict between having a very busy career and spending time with family - Donghyuck is likely hyper aware of all the important moments he has missed due to being so busy, and maybe feels a sense of guilt about it :(

✨ Opposition between Gemini Sun and Sagittarius Pluto - People with this placement are very sensitive to criticism. Also shows a deep fear of losing people, and maybe a fear of losing control. For Donghyuck I think this stems from his childhood, which as we now know had multiple losses and large adjustments. He must have missed his parents terribly and this may have impacted upon his sense of security as an adult.

✨ Opposition between Saturn and Ascendant/Saturn Setting - A negative aspect here, symbolising that as a child he may have felt lonely, worried or struggled with feelings of loss/abandonment. It could also mean he has avoided romantic relationships despite many offers because he has had to overcome feelings of unworthiness. However Haechan has allowed himself to gain a new family in NCT, and his closeness with the members certainly suggests he is not isolating himself. It could be that he has worked through this trauma already, or that he is in the process of it. His childhood has also made him a very resilient and tough person - these people are very reliable and level.

🐻 Uranus in 3rd House - This placement is associated with geniuses who can only really focus on what interests them, so it's quite likely Donghyuck would have performed less well in some classes and excelled in Music & Drama class. Probably got in trouble for pranks, and could have been teased by other children. Interestingly this house yet again points to an unusual upbringing. Being the oldest of four, and being raised by his grandparents due to his parents working away must have put some weight on Donghyuck’s shoulders. It signifies a feeling of responsibility or often being the child in trouble (either through his mischief or being the oldest). Haechan also feels very protective of his family’s privacy.

⛵ Square between Uranus & Ascendant - This placement seems to suggest big changes in someone’s early life which cause them to lack roots or a predetermined identity - basically, they aren't given much of a secure/fixed identity. Usually it manifests as moving a lot as a child or other big changes in childhood which prevent you from putting down roots and having a strong sense of who you are. This is very interesting because there was a lot of adjustment in Donghyuck’s childhood, and things got even crazier when he debuted in SM rookies at age 14, essentially ending any normal/private teenage years he otherwise would have had.

🗡️ Chiron & Pluto Sagittarius in 1st House in Retrograde - Signifies that his deepest wound is from early life and being in 1st house, it was quite core in making him who he is. Being in retrograde means that Donghyuck’s pain is internalised, an emotional rather than physical reaction. The Sagittarius element reveals that Donghyuck experienced pain or loss when developing his core beliefs/sense of stability and identity. Can make it hard for him to truly believe in anything and know who he identifies with. There is a need for finding meaning in life and to put down roots as he feels lost and unstable. Having a religious faith is likely very helpful to him. Chiron in 1st house can also bring about self-consciousness about your body/looks, which could have stemmed from ways he was treated in childhood. Because it is in the 1st house, this pain is visible to others around him; the people who know him are aware of the walls he puts up, his self-image issues and know he doesn't verbalise all of his feelings. Along with his Leo Moon I again think this means Hyuck prefers to ‘show’ his feelings rather than talk about them, and needs people around him who can understand and comfort/reassure him without needing him to verbalise his insecurities. 

🏰 Midheaven in Virgo - 10th House cusp, Scorpio Rising/Ascendant - Donghyuck will guard his private life very closely, and issues can occur if the people around him don't consider his privacy as important as he does. This is especially true for the privacy of his family.

🌊♀️ Pisces in 4th House - 4th House can symbolise relationship with Mom and how the native sees them - for Donghyuck, this is a Mom who is creative, free-spirited, good-hearted and had to sacrifice a lot while raising her children. Speaks of a Karmic past-life bond with his Mom. ❤️ So cute. Through his mother, Donghyuck has learned unconditional love, loss and sacrifice. 4th House also speaks of childhood generally - Pisces is a childhood in which one or both parents were absent either physically or emotionally. A lot of adults with this placement tend to struggle with emotional expression. It can also manifest as an adult seeking love from people who do not love them. Often adults with mutable 4th houses find it hard to talk about their childhoods and again are very private and protective of themselves, which seems to be the case with Donghyuck, combined with his Scorpio Ascendant. Pisces in 4th is often a childhood where someone had to learn to care for themselves at a young age and ‘grow up’ quickly. HOWEVER, I think this is more about Hyuck moving to Seoul at 12 years old to become a trainee, rather than about his family.

💘 His Leo Moon and Sagittarius Pluto Trine shows an especially deep relationship with female relatives. One woman in particular will have a profound impact on Donghyuck’s life and he will learn and grow so much through her despite early difficulties. I want to say it’s a soul bond, and with the Pisces 4th house I believe this is referring to his Mom, though it could be his Grandmother who he also respects greatly.

👶 North Node in Cancer 8th House & South Node in Capricorn 2nd House - Haechan will dream of creating his own happy family. This is so cute because we obviously know how much he wants to be a Dad one day to show his child “a father’s love.”

~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading, I hope this was interesting! ☁️ 💖

Previous - Part 2: Career, Passions and Work Life

Next - Part 4: Friendships and Relationships

Back to Masterlist

[fitgirlfemdom]

hi! I’m just curious about something you mentioned about not being explicitly into everything you post - do you think it’s attracted unwanted attention? would you rather discuss non-kink topics on here as well? I think it would be cool if you incorporated some of the other stuff you’re passionate about (anime, music, etc) 🖤

The real me is not as sexual as this account displays. I've been celibate for half a year and I masturbate maybe once or twice a week for like 20 min. I still write and draw NSFW content, but that's for my main art account that isn't linked here (this isn't for privacy or anything--i just have art moots that probably don't wanna see fat bears eating cake on their timeline 24/7).

90% of the stuff I write/have posted about, I'm into, and I enjoyed writing, especially my longer posts! If I wasn't interested in something, I wouldn't write about it for free. The issue was messages in my DMs, especially near the beginning of this account. It's why I tried enforcing the rule that if you send me face pics, I'd block you, because a lot of the people that messaged me I did not find sexually attractive. Without a face, it's much easier to RP. Also because of the dick pics. Don't get me wrong, some of you guys had very respectable cocks but I can't deny that it made me feel gross to be sent them without my consent.

The worst part was actually enjoying talking to some of you, and then realizing you clearly just used me as a dumping ground for your fetish pics, without any consideration as to who I was. It was like my DMs were just "Send Photos of Your Gut to 19 Year Old Girl Here" without any personality, any interest in who I was. Just a nameless girl who you could imagine your fantasies with. I'd ask about your day or what you were interested in, and I'd get a pic of your gut in an office chair with "whoaaaaa just drank two liters of soda :/ so bloated rn." How do I respond to that? "Good"? 😭

I think the worst DM I got was a guy saying I was "in denial about being a housewife," which I mean, I've dabbled in misogyny kink content before. Bimbofication is literally on my profile. I've never brought up my feminist views or politics, although I would consider myself a feminist, since all people should have equal rights and freedom of expression. I also believe housewives can be feminists. There is nothing on my account about my political views, nor about my career or education, because it's not important to writing porn about feeding dudes cake.

When I brushed him off with a "Haha," he just kept going, paragraphs and paragraphs about how he wanted me to be his trophy wife and clean his shit out of a bucket??? You don't even know me??? And I never responded, but it really just made me realize--just saying I'm into femdom, no matter what it is, is seen as a political transgression to these people. I'm literally into gentle femdom and want a chubby hubby/wife that I can make happy and secure financially. None of my posts are "Women are superior, men should be locked in cages." Most of my posts are "I want a gym guy who enjoys my cooking and jerks off a lot."

I DO use female supremacy tags sometimes because I use dozens of tags, and that's on me. I just type "fem" and click the ones that come up. I've also written works that are VERY misogynistic, like calling myself a fleshlight or literally writing fics about me getting gangbanged. I feel like this guy just saw "femdom" in my username and lost his mind. By tagging my stuff like this, I honestly was asking for trouble to come, so yeah, I think I just got unwanted attention I wasn't ready for.

In regards to talking about others topics, I just figured no one gave a shit, and people probably don't, but I am very passionate about metal music and music history. I have a useless amount of knowledge about various 90s/2000s metal bands and music from that time. If I get asked questions about it, I'll answer, and I DO need to follow more people on this website, but my current answer is: I don't know, maybe. I'll see how I feel.

[perplexingluciddreams]

Using the internet and technology with high needs autism

I have been trying to put this into words for a while, but due to the exact thing I am making the post about, it has been very difficult.

First of all, a short (ish - I am not the best at concise) background of me and technology: Used to play games on dad's phone, and later watch YouTube videos on family tablet (with parent restrictions). However, ability to navigate devices was very limited, and if something went wrong I just panic and give to an adult.

We used computers a bit in school for work and educational games. Every time we went to the "computer area" I would cry because I knew I wouldn't be able to find the webpage on my own, or sign in to something, or type in a word document. At these times in school, usually another pupil would just sigh loudly and then come and do the computer thing for me over my shoulder.

I had an MP3 player that I got for I think my 8 or 9th birthday. The only thing I knew how to do, was play music and google search. But I still didn't really understand what a "link" was, or how to find important information. We were supposed to learn online research skills in school, but nobody ever explained the most simple stuff to me, so I lack the basic knowledge.

I got my first phone at age 10. This was when I also first get Instagram, my first social media (parents set up for me). I was in a group chat for my school year, but the only time I put a message there is when mum asked me to ask a question, about a non-uniform day for example. Nobody interacted with me in there, and apart from the messages I don't know how to navigate the app. I posted a few pictures a few times, but only when someone else recommended, and I didn't interact online.

I have poor language comprehension, slow processing and take longer to learn new skills. My computer skills and especially typing skills are majorly behind my peers. I have slowly learned some skills allowing me to be even on Tumblr in the first place, but I still need a lot of support and it makes me very anxious. Part of my difficultly on social media, is the social interacting part. Mostly due to low interest.

But my biggest challenge is poor comprehension. I get very anxious and upset when I come onto Tumblr and all the posts I try to read don't make sense to me. Especially when the post is about a topic I care about - if I read it and I can't know what people mean, then I will just be very upset for the rest of the day.

Second biggest challenge, not being able to express opinions on important topics. Often, I can't even understand something. Then, I can't form an opinion because it's too complex. Or, I have an opinion, but I don't understand if someone agree or disagree with me from what they write.

I work so hard to gain skills and learn enough to even be here, and then all I can find about people like me is other people arguing about our existence. Want to express my frustration at this. To even write this post I had support from mum, and it takes all my mental energy.

It is true that I have low interest in socialising - direct impact of autism. So social media maybe not best place in the world for me, by default. But I still want to understand and be included. Not be treated like place to just ask "am I counting as high support needs". I don't understand even my own needs enough to answer this for myself - I definitely can't answer for anyone else.

A lot of my challenges, come direct from autism. That's just a fact. Wish it was easier, very often. But also wish it was easier online - I can't be part of outside community, only online.

I post here to express thoughts and feelings, that is also just what this post is doing. I did less big big edit on my words this time, wanted words to be closest to how I think it (don't think in words so not possible to show abstract thoughts direct, but closest to first translation).

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I break off an old friendship with someone who stayed by my side despite my mental and general life issues, after everyone else had left?

This friend from high school had been a great friend, kept me company when I was all alone, supported me through two bad breakups, we went to the same college and we were very close.

Until I started talking more openly about politics, being queer, mental health etc. She's the facebook liberal type, slightly left of center. She gave me the freedom to be more open with her by being cool with taboo topics, then turned sour when it extended beyond what she knew. Examples, she'd change subject if I talked about queer media when normally she's telling her friends how she had a sleepover with her "wife" and saw each other naked. She was surprised to learn that you're not supposed to out someone against their will. She believes cops are bad only in USA. We're not Americans.

She started being open with me too, she told me how she hated it when her classmates talked about their favorite music, how she hated any fandom stuff they talked about besides discussing fanfics with another fandom friend, how she makes excuses so she can go wherever she wants alone and not with friends. She told me she spies on my exes on facebook insta etc and tried to tell me what they've been up to and only stopped telling me about after many requests and explanations as to why that made me really uncomfortable.

A few months ago she and I had a fight, she exclaimed that my politics was too American (I'm just an average leftist like most of 30+ tumblr and my other friends), that my politics was too fandom oriented (she avoids fandom so much she has blocked activists for even hinting at being a fandomgoer, like discussion of racism in fandom is waste of time and silly to her, fan-anything can't be taken seriously), mocked me for having childish interests (just knowing pop culture in general) then we stopped talking.

After some months she texted that she really misses talking to me as I was her only "progressive friend" who understood her when she wanted to discuss feminism, movies, world politics etc. She said she needed me to be her gateway to pop culture knowledge as I knew so many cool new things. She begged me to be friends again, and since I missed hanging out with her a lot I started chatting again. But I told her that it was hard for me to forgive her and I'd leave for real if she hurts me again.

This time she let go of the normal daily stuff we used to talk about and only stuck to Topics of Debate. She asked me to teach her progressive thinking, educate her, but when I asked if she wanted to touch on lgbt+ topics or physical -mental health related topics outside of her comfort zone of basic sexual health, she danced around a lot instead of giving an answer. I snapped and asked yes or no, she said no.

I asked her if she understands that even if she didn't feel like those topics were her priority, I'd probably want to talk about them with her as a queer neurodivergent person and friend, would that be an issue? She kind of ignored it to say that basically her priority was just local political gossip, religion, and a little bit of solarpunk stuff, outdated at that. I was disappointed but let it go and we decided to talk later.

The other day she messaged me with her usual gossip about how her friends are being too excited about some music stuff and what book she thinks I should read (we have completely different taste). And I got a panic attack. Since then I've had multiple panic attacks at the thought of having to talk to her.

She has been one of my oldest friends, she supported me and took my side in every breakup I had and she forced me to go outside when I was severely depressed, she was practically family, but now I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. If I bring up any topic she dislikes she's going to turn away, if I come out to her as trans she'll joke and start to avoid me, she doesn't want to learn anything new even though she takes pride in being a great learner, if I talk about things that make me happy she'll ignore it. I don't know if she'll go and tell others how cringey my interests are. Maybe she'll go to my exes and tell them I used her as support and threw her away when she didn't meet the standard as that's been a line of thinking among my exes.

I'm also struggling with BPD and anxiety, so maybe I'm hating her now and will want her back later, it's my brain being a jerk? I think I'm overreacting and she won't do any of these, but I also feel so drained after we talk these days. I need friends who I can talk to about mundane things, friends who share memes with me and tell me what anime they're passionate about, what new recipe they liked, instead I feel like I'm just there to drag her down with my issues and politics and dumb jokes. But multiple people think I used and discarded them for not agreeing politically, I'd usually disagree but what if I am the problem and I expect too much?

So I'm asking, am I being a jerk if I cut her off?

What are these acronyms?

[sara-did-not-find-a-cool-name]

The SOURCES

Hi everyone !

Last week, I introduced you to my research subject and today, I will talk to you about my secondary sources (I already talked about My primary sources in a previous post). 

On one hand, I choose 4 chapters of the Negus that I find relevant about my topic. The first one is “audiences” for Stevie Howie’s songs which need an “active ear” to be understood. The second one is “mediations” for the sharing process that involves meaning as we will see by working on Stevie Howie’s Instagram for example. The third one is “identities” and could be interesting to study because of Stevie Howie’s identity and experiences, to look at how he expresses those. Lastly, I will look at the chapter named “politics” for the strong messages that Stevie Howie is sharing with his audience through his songs as we saw through “Nameless”.

On the other hand, I found three secondary sources that could be interesting even if I have to dig further into them. The first one is a scientific revue of musicology named Allowing Myself Room To Speak: The Journey Of An Artist/Teacher by Dr. Stephanie A. Baer which seems to have informations I could use. We can find it into the GEMS revue (Gender, Education, Music and Society). The two others that I have to look into are : The sex revolts : gender, rebellion and rock’n’roll by Simon Reynolds (1995) ; The second sound : conversations on gender and music by Eckhardt Julia (2017). I choose the first book because the rock’n’roll genre is very important into  Stevie Howie’s work and I was thinking that the sexual theme was only found in his work whereas in reality it seems to be a recurent theme in rock’n’roll. For the second book, it gathers testimonies of people working into the music field and talking about the role of gender and sex. The summary of the book gave me a glimpse of the questions they ask: “Together, they address questions like: How do life circumstances find their way into music and sound art? How does music reflect historical and social structures? What does discrimination do, and how can we navigate around it? How to unlock networks? Is the under-representaiton of women and LGBTQ people in the field a symptom or a cause? Is art itself gendered? And can it reflect the gender of its maker? Is a different way of listening needed to more accurately understand those voices from outside the historical canon?”. It may not be relevant, but I think it is still important to look at the later to be sure to not miss good information. (But the book is at the Hear and is not available for the moment due to a move of the library :( )

Thank you for reading !

[bookreviewcoffee]

Virginia Woolf "A Room of One's Own."

The essay was published in 1929. Almost a hundred years have passed. Surely all the problems that Wolfe talks about have been resolved and there is no point in talking about them? Unfortunately no. I had no idea what this book was about. For some reason, I was sure that this was Virginia Woolf’s autobiography, in which she talks about her craft. But it turned out that this was an appeal in the name of justice. First of all, this concerns the infringement of women's rights. How women were not respected and not valued is very difficult to read. Women were forced to write in attics when they had a rare 30 minutes, to hide them at the slightest rustle, and published works under a male pseudonym. The girls were allowed to write prose, but no lyrics. It was believed that women could not think. In general, girls in Victorian England, if they were lucky, were taught languages at home, since college was closed. They had to stay at home, knit, cook, raise children and serve their husbands. It’s interesting, by the way, what Virginia Woolf said about female composers of classical music. They simply don't exist! More precisely, I personally could not remember a single one.

I had to look. I've certainly found a few of these, but none of the names are familiar to me! But I read some interesting information:

    “Fanny Mendelssohn

During her lifetime, the sister of the famous composer was known only to her family. She was constantly encouraged to write music, but... Then give what she wrote to her brother. It is known that he published several of her works as his own. She died young, from a stroke, at a concert rehearsal, where, along with other people's works, she wanted to openly play her own. The inconsolable widower did everything so that Fanny would posthumously receive her calling. Her correspondence, diaries, notes were published, her works were given her name back.”

Virginia Woolf believes that these men were simply afraid of smart women. They were afraid to show themselves in an unfavorable light compared to them.

In general, the essay is not limited to the topic “women and literature”, it touches on the general position of women, the topic of how important equality is for us. Although it is a stream of consciousness, the book is easy to read. In the process, the author gives us food for thought. “A room of your own” makes you think about how important personal space, income, and education are. Who is the creator? Why have we lost perhaps great works? Why is equality necessary? Why were women belittled? Why do women and men creators need their own room? And much more.

This was my introduction to Woolf,and now I am very eager to get to know her further.

@litterascriptamanet @coffeeacademia @chaoticelegant @silverystardustt @betryl @arcanewraith @ancientsstudies @abernathyvalois

[kaycrouse13]

(Updated) My Shifting Journey + Other Things.

❘༻༺❘Intro:❘༻༺❘

I am Kay Crouse. 'Crouse' is pronounced as 'Cruise'. I am a FTM bigender person, and my pronouns are He/They. I am an adult. I have shifted over 75+ times since the 19th of September 2020. This is my journey leading up to me shifting so many times:

❘༻༺❘Methods:❘༻༺❘

These are the methods that I mainly use to shift with.

Intend/Intention Method.

Pillow/Pillow Holding/Pillow Cuddling Method.

Lucid Dreaming Method.

❘༻༺❘Methods that I have tried:❘༻༺❘

•Raven Method: Ughhh, I felt uncomfy laying on my back, and my limbs hurt a lot. So this isn't the method for me. I have gotten a lot of symptoms using it, though. I do think I've shifted with it before, too.

•Eye Method: The very first method that I Mini-shifted at school during a test with. It was really disorienting and unexpected. It was quite shocking and was the starting point of me believing that shifting was indeed possible.

•Alice in Wonderland Method: Felt extremely close and could visualize everything extremely well.

•Heartbeat Method: Felt a hand on my head, playing with my hair. I believe it to have been Natsu Dragneel from the anime Fairytail as that was the very first place that I wanted to shift to when I found out about shifting. I also swear that my pillow was moving and breathing at some points.

•Julia Method: Not much happened, I just got into a deep state of meditation, which felt strange.

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My Shifting Journey is a strange one. This post just explains more about my life and what struggles I had to go through to get where I am now, and it has some educational things as well. Feel free to ask questions, and I will try my best to answer. I am new to Tumblr, however, and also get overwhelmed easily, so please keep that in mind if I don't answer.

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❘༻༺❘Back story❘༻༺❘

《I feel like everything in my life have led up to me learning about Reality Shifting.》

《Remember that this is MY PERSONAL experiences.》

•Ever since I was young, I have always loved fantasy and all things considered magical. I was so mesmerized by magic and powers. When I first found out about subliminals, my whole life had changed. I used almost every subliminal I could find, and many of them worked really well! I experimented with a lot of things. I used eye color changing subs, physical appearance subs, magical ability subs, manifesting subs, grow wings or fangs subs, even go to fictional world subs before I even knew about shifting or I tried to manifest fictional characters here, etc... Basically, whatever I thought was interesting, I used.

•I don't really use subliminals much anymore, though. I found that I don't need them. And when I do listen to subliminals, I do so during the day when I'm not shifting, like while I play video games or do chores or eat. Lately, I've been listening to mha related shifting subliminals. I realize that I prefer subliminals that are more musically inclined rather than rain or static sounds. I like listening to music in subliminals as it helps me connect to my DRs(Desired Realities) better.

•I also had many paranormal encounters in my life. My house is kind of haunted. I am the type of person who has to see things in order to believe them. I ended up roaming the internet and finding out about spirituality, the paranormal, magical abilities, manifesting, law of attraction, psychic things, and many more. I live in house number 13 for anyone who's superstitious. Also, 13 is my favorite number, and Friday the 13th is my favorite day. I also adore Halloween.

•I was so interested in all of these things that I made it my lifelong goal to learn as much of it as I possibly can. I had to study and research it in secret, because of my family not really supporting such things, my mother did have some books I might have "stolen" about certain topics I was interested in, Like: dreams, Tarot, Mediums, Psychics, Spirituality. I have tarot cards, but I don't know how to use them or what they mean just yet. Although I don't feel as motivated as I used to be about all of these things.

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•Then I found out about Lucid dreaming, I watched so many videos about it, and it took me like a week of doing constant reality checks each day to have my very first Lucid dream. I had a great time learning about Lucid Dreaming. A few months pass, and I learn how to control my dreams so much better and make them last longer.

•Each time that I Lucid dreamt, I learned more and more about it and myself. I would get better at many things in the dream, and it was like I was practicing doing things in my dream. What I mean by that is the very first Lucid dream that I had. I tried to fly, and I struggled to do so a lot at first. Now, when I have a Lucid Dream, though, I can fly really well because I actually practiced flying a lot in my dreams. It is like I improved over the months/years. And now I just believe I my ability to do certain things in lusid dreams and even in my regular dreams I have gained more confident in my abilities.

•Then I took a break, for a really long time and I forgot about everything. Until I rediscovered this magical life again. I first found out about shifting on tiktok, I still remember the tiktoker who talked about it. I was so intrigued and confused and started researching it. I clicked on every video that I could and then went to Amino after some time.

•I have been looking for a way to go to different realities by using subliminals before I even knew about shifting. After I had the basic idea of what reality shifting was, I promised myself that I will Never Give Up. I am just a really stubborn person, and even if there was just a slight chance of going to the places I yearned to go to for so many years, I was going to take it. And when I make a promise to myself, I take it extremely seriously.

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•Then I practiced and experimented. I never gave up. I did sleep and awake methods, I meditated, although I sucked at it, and I'm not sure it was actual meditation most times. I drank a lot of water, which was really helpful for my health in general, although not at all necessary as I later discovered. I have unfortunately been a victim of 2020 shifttok misinformation for the longest time. My first full shift happened 18 days after I found out about reality shifting, I found out about it on the 19th of September 2020. I did have a mini-shifting experience a few days before that, however. That first shift set my journey in motion. I then began to obsess over shifting, and I counted every single day that passed that I would do something shifting related. I would be like, " Day 179 of my shifting journey, today I did this and this' in my shifting journals, and it was so overwhelming. I heard about taking a break and took a break for a week or so, and that helped me a lot. Ever since I took that break, I started to shift a lot more often. Taking breaks does not set you back in your progress at all. It actually helps a whole lot! I definitely recommend taking breaks.

•I have been documenting each and every little thing in my shifting journey. I type everything in a custom notes app on my phone and write it down in my many shifting journals that I own. (A Shifting Journal is just a normal journal I write Shifting related things in, this includes my scripts, experiences, methods and just overall shifting information, I also use it like a diary in a way. I have rebranded the title of these journals to 'Whatever Journals' now.)

•Having a shifting journal is not necessary, I just use it because it helps me organize everything, and I enjoy using it. I began to experience so many amazing things in these realities that I was shifting to, and I learned a lot that I wanted to document for myself and to potentially post about one day, which I guess I'm doing now again.

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•But everything isn't always perfect. I have cried a lot over my DR's/WR's and I got extremely frustrated multiple times. Many of my shifts were spaced out by a few days to even weeks when I first started, but recently it's been months in-between my shifts, which frustrated me a lot, however I am a lot more calm about everything now and I learned to take everything one step at a time and not to worry about how long it was taking me. I am going to shift regardless, inevitably anyway. Time doesn't matter.

•I also got traumatized in some of these realities that I have shifted to, and that sucks. I have maladaptive daydreaming disorder as well, I feel like this aided me with visualization, though. I absolutely enjoy visualizing a lot and find it quite easy to do so. I use visualization often during shifting attempts.

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•I honestly don't even feel like a Master Shifter, even though so many people have said that I am one and that I motivate them a lot and that I inspire them. That's really great, I'm truly so grateful for everything this community has done for me. I just feel like I am still too inexperienced to be called a Master Shifter even though I have shifted so many times already. However, I understand that I AM a Master Shifter, and I'm accepting it more now. It just feels weird sometimes.

•In truth, I still struggle going to specific realities, and I struggle to stay for long periods of time in these realities. I am getting a lot better at it, though, and that's really great! I'm making amazing progress. I have started to have more of a 'say' in everything, I guess, I now choose when I shift back, and that is a huge achievement for me!

•Usually when I would shift and think about my CR too much I ended up shifting back, now that I practiced and experimented with a lot of things I only shift back when I intend to do so now! Most times, oof. I also learned that even if you just think about your Safe Word, you won't Shift back if you don't have the intention to do so. Which I knew already. But it was cool to solidify that belief.

•What I'm working on now is going to specific places because my subconscious got so used to going to random realities (on purpose sometimes) that I feel like it's hard for me to go to specific realities now, even though I know it's not hard at all, I still have this limiting believe. I guess I should just reprogram my subconscious mind then. However, I don't really want to as I don't feel like I need to. I know that I can shift wherever I want whenever I want.

•I am also working on staying longer than 3 days, seeing as that is the longest time I have spent in a reality so far. I am still on this journey and have a lot left to learn. I will Never Give Up, these are the words I live by. I am a bit uncertain about one reality I may have potentially shifted to that could have been about a month DR time, but I think I was mostly jsut drugged or something and everything is such a hazy memory of an underground basement. So I don't know much about that, but I did think of it as a shift at the time.

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•I adore helping people and one of my reasons why I am shifting back here is to tell my stories and experiences and share my knowledge with as many people as I can. Also-shocker- I actually like my CR and plan on living here to see what happens.

•When I started my Journey I didn't have that many doubts, I did still have some doubts, but because of my past experiences I was extremely open minded. I didn't really question how it was possible, I was just happy that something like Shifting existed and that I finally had a way to go to the places I always wanted to go to.

•I tried finding all of the correct information and I wanted to learn as much as I possibly could about Shifting and all of its sub-categories so that I could teach more people about it and answer almost any questions that they had. I don't know all of the answers to every question, though. Many people have asked me some really creative questions already, and those really amazed me and helped me think more out of the box.

•I have helped a lot of people and taught them how to shift and gave them tips and so much information. I became the person I wished I had when learning about reality shifting. A downside I have is that I do get overwhelmed and tired when I help too many people at one time. I feel drained and have to recharge for a few days to be able to help people again. Which really sucks.

•I had to research everything on my own, I didn't really have anyone I could count on. When I was a 'baby shifter' and I asked a question, I didn't get an answer. So I got the answers all on my own and promised never to let someone go through what I had to go through to get the information. So now I try my best to help everyone get correct, reliable information. Although I'm only human, at least in this reality, I'm not human in most places that I have shifted to, so I do make mistakes.

•I gave people info that took me months to gather, I answered their questions when no one else would. Because I knew what that felt like. Also, I would consider myself really good at manifesting as well. I have manifested quite a lot of things already.

•I have manifested almost my entire life at this point. I have manifested: money, clothes, love, food, etc... And I get so many Lucid dreams more often now, too. I can also talk to my subconscious mind through Lucid Dreaming, and that taught me a lot as well about myself and confused me even more, haha.

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❘༻༺❘My view on Shifting now:❘༻༺❘

•I feel like a lot of people are making shifting this big, unachievable thing when it is actually normal and effortless and a natural part of our existence. I don't think people should make shifting this super amazing thing that is put on a pedestal and treat it as something normal.

❘༻༺❘Shifting isn't above you. You are above Shifting.❘༻༺❘

❘༻༺❘NORMALIZE SHIFTING.❘༻༺❘

•I get it though, I thought shifting was this incredible thing at first, and I still think it's great, but after actually doing it for so long it's like I'm just telling stories about my normal life, I find it strange, It's really complicated. Shifting just feels normal to me now. View Shifting like something that just naturally happens to you, which it does!

•I love helping people a lot, I share my experiences to motivate others and to help them get answers to questions that they have. However, I do get overwhelmed and drained easily when I help people for really long periods of time, and I don't take the time to take care of myself as often as I should. Although I have been trying to get better in that regard.

•I have been working on self care a lot and have gotten so much better already. My self-concept is decent enough, and my advice would be to treat yourself like royalty. I treat myself like a king and realize my self-worth, and I gained so much more confidence in myself and my ability to shift. Trust yourself.

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❘༻༺❘"The Final Push".❘༻༺❘

Many people asked me what I did to finally shift. Some people argue about what the final push really is. I think it is letting go, not like giving up, but just when you are at the edge of shifting relax as much as you can and have that feeling of sinking/relaxing into your DR overcome you. Don't force yourself into it. Steadily sink into the feeling of being in your DR and BEING your DR self. Merge with yourself, I guess.

•Also don't keep count of how long it's taking you to shift. That is irrelevant. You will shift eventually anyway, you have your entire lifetime, so relax and enjoy the journey. Everyone is different, and each person has something that works for them while that might not work for others. Find what works best for you and stick with it. Keep experimenting and practicing with different things. Everyone's journey will be different, make yours fun.

•For me, I just go with the flow, I usually use sleep methods, but I also used some awake methods too and shifted that way before. It feels like the world is physically transitioning around me sometimes. it's like when people say you can feel your surroundings changing. That does actually happen sometimes, and it's so weird when you are not prepared for it. Although that has only happened to me around 2 or 3 times.

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I hope that this cleared some things up and that it made sense. I feel like a few things don't make sense.😅💀This post is also all over the place, but oh well.🤷‍♀️ Anyway, Happy shifting!😄 You CAN and WILL shift! I believe in each and every one of you!💖

《111 333 777 999 222 444 888》

XOXO Kay

[coffeeandbatboys]

👀👀👀

Ollo, I am scootin' in for the matchmaker!

First of all, to dear Coffee...CONGRATS AGAIN! And second of all, Helena, please help me find the bestest trooper for me 🙇

let's see how short I can make this...

I am an essentric individual! I have a ridiculous number of hobbies and activities that I like to do, ranging from crafts (drawing, painting, knitting, crochet) to studying (Mythology, history, metaphysical topics) to indulging (fandoms, tv/movies, music). I went to school for Early Childhood Education, as I love kids...but my mobility changed and now I can't safely be in that profession. And I have music (or movie noises, or ambiance) on literally 24/7 as I cannot stand silence.

Positive traits: Very good memory (I remember most conversations I am part of), protective of my peoples, empathetic, and smart (analytical brain). I have been told I'm self-sacrificing, kind, quirky, funny and a good listener by loved ones

Negative traits: Forgetful of the strangest things (if I have fed the pets, holidays), protectiveness can be coddling, emotional, and distrustful of others. I am a bit lazy and have been called a defeatist.

I tend to use a wheelchair when I leave the house as a mobilty aid (sometimes in the house too, but i am stubborn and hate it) and tend to have an over-active mind so I rarely get any sleep. I also tend to go through depressive spells sooo... you'll have to warn them about *gestures vaguely to myself* that

If you need more information than that...👀

*slides over a datapad with @moonlightwarriorqueen on it*

You can find me here!

Thank you for reading all this and I wish you the best of luck with your event

😘💜💜💜

AAAAAAAAA MOONIEEEEEEEE TYYYYY oh...ok Helena is grabbing the phone....oh she looks serious...ttyl I guess...

Helena: *slams fist on countertop* Do. I. Have. A. Match. For. You.

I have been eying him in your favor for a while but your application has solidified my choice...

...which is why I have decided to pair you with ARC Trooper Jesse!

Jesse is loyal, caring, and an overall good man. He may not know much about mythology or metaphysical topics (maker, force osik is enough to make his head spin) but he will be willing to listen and learn from you!

He is interested by many different kinds of art, and he'll love to watch watch the way you craft. (Also, expect him to ask sheepishly if you'll make him something; perhaps a small crocheted plush or a drawing that he can tuck in one of his armor's pouches)

And domesticity? Whether it's just the two of you or starting a family, he loves it. The two of you will probably cuddle up and watch movies together when he's on leave, and he loves exploring your playlists and hearing new music! (New to him at least; he's got some catching up to do)

He may have a hard time with being overprotective when it comes to your mobility issues. He knows that you are capable but that doesn't stop him from wanting to help you. He'll most likely go to Kix and ask about ways he can assist you or make you more comfortable. Many cuddles will ensue.

If you're feeling down or out of touch, he'll gauge the situation and adapt to your mood, whether that means cheering you up or making sure you know he loves you.

Here's Jesse's comm code! Thanks for stopping by!

.....Thanks again Moonlight!! I wish you and your new trooper nothing but the best! 🩵🩵🩵

Coffee's 400 follower celebration at Midnight Oil caf house

[vacate-et-scire]

Heya! Congrats on your milestone! I'd like to request for a matchup please.

Name: Aurora  Pronouns: they/them

MBTI: INFP Enneagram: 4w5 sp/sx Zodiac big 6: Cancer sun and moon, Pisces rising, Cancer mercury, Gemini venus, Leo mars Moral alignment: True neutral (leaning slightly towards lawful evil)

Personality: Introspective and rational, terrified of conflict. I daydream a lot and tend to space out when I’m not talking to someone. I’m a true introvert, but I love to talk to certain people and about things I find interesting, like my fixations or a fun hypothetical situation. I observe people more than I want to interact with them. I'm also good at reading people (to the point where my brother thinks I can read people's minds). Purple represents me best as a colour.

I value my authenticity, creativity and emotional intelligence (I can’t say I’m really empathetic, but I listen to people when they need me to and I try to be there for them). But I am quite sensitive and emotional. I tend to remember events in which I was hurt easily. My friend would describe me as a jaded Disney princess because I daydream a lot and used to be idealistic as a kid but now I'm more of a realist/pessimist. I also seem to be developing a bad habit of impulse buying cute things like phone charms because I now have easier access and money.

Honestly not sure how to describe my sense of humor. Sarcasm mostly? I also consider myself a good storyteller because I tell them for entertainment (comedic timing, a teensy bit of exaggeration), and get to laugh with whoever I'm telling the story to. I'm not the funny friend, but if I tell a story, it's going to be a good one.

Hobbies: Reading, looking for fanfiction with amazing writing styles (descriptions, vibes, the closer it reads like poetry, the better), writing (fanfiction for now, but I plan to become a professional writer in the future e.g. movies, tv shows, manga), listening to music, psychoanalyzing people, analyzing fictional characters, watching horror movie summaries

Likes: POETRY (I follow the web weave tag here and my favourite poet might just be Richard Siken), tofu (my favourite food), chocolate, books (the genres I tend to read are thrillers, fantasy or sci-fi), no longer human (my favourite book), the traveling cat chronicles (my favourite comfort book), anime (mostly shounen, but I've watched some movies as well), manga, analyzing characters with many layers to them, personality typology (the closest thing I've had to a hyperfixation. my all-time favourite is enneagram, but I’ve had astrology and MBTI phases), action or comedy movies, visiting cafes, looking at sunrises and sunsets, watching storms (LIGHTNING), crochet flowers and plushies, phone charms, the colour purple, browsing for makeup and accessories, video essays (marketing - celebrities, not companies, somewhat deep topics like love and philosophy, literature and film analysis - especially themes of horror movies, despite me being too chicken to actually watch the moves), butterflies and stars/night sky as motifs

Dislikes: Exercising, studying for subjects I'm not interested in, being forced to interact with people, people who don’t have an idea for their future career and float through life aimlessly (I mean people who don’t put in effort into studying as if their grades/school won’t affect their future opportunities. I’m still in college and I know there’s nuance, maybe not everyone wants or is happy with a well-paying/demanding job, but as someone whose parents have placed high expectations on since primary school, I can’t fathom not caring about one’s education like that), having a sudden change in plans that I don't like, many foods (I am a very picky eater), bugs (beetles, bees, spiders. I don’t kill them and are fine with them as long as they’re a distance away from me. I get scared when they move about tho), noisy environments/construction noises, small talk (I actually don’t mind talking to people, I just need them to talk about something interesting or at least something they’re passionate about)

Type: Someone intellectual that I can talk with. I wouldn't be able to stand a SO that often cuts me off when I'm trying to talk (especially when I would never do that to them), or someone that's only interested in talking about themselves. 

Have fun writing! Thanks for your hard work. ^^

Your Blue Lock Matchup: Yukimiya Kenyu

Based on your introspective and creative personality, as well as your love for deep conversations and emotional intelligence, Yukimiya is a fantastic fit for you. While he's not the most overtly emotional or dramatic guy, he has a thoughtful, somewhat reserved side. His quieter, more serious demeanour makes him someone who can understand your need for deep connection without overwhelming you with constant chatter.

Yukimiya, despite his outwardly confident appearance, is someone who can match your reflective mindset. His emotional depth often gets overshadowed by his confidence on the field, but there’s a vulnerability to him that only a select few gets to see. He’d respect your need for authenticity, as he's someone who doesn’t tolerate superficiality himself. In a relationship, he’d appreciate your introspective side and your ability to read people, because, much like you, he doesn’t always share everything right away.

Your love for storytelling would be something that Yukimiya can truly appreciate. He's the type of person who can listen intently when someone speaks to him—especially when the topic is one he finds intriguing. Your ability to craft stories with good comedic timing and flair would make for some entertaining conversations between the two of you. Whether it’s banter or a deeper conversation about the things you’re passionate about, he would be one to match your energy, even if he’s quieter at first. His introspective side means he’s the type who’d enjoy discussing hypothetical situations, deep character analyses, and all the interesting ideas you want to explore.

Emotionally, Yukimiya would understand the need for personal space and reflection. As someone who values authenticity and isn’t quick to share his emotions, he’d give you the time and space you need when you're feeling overwhelmed. He’s not the type to push, especially when it comes to handling emotional vulnerability. His respect for your need for time alone would allow you to process your thoughts and emotions in peace, yet he would always be there for you when you need him most.

Your shared love of analyzing characters and exploring deeper meanings would be another bond. Yukimiya's strategic and tactical mindset on the field reflects a certain depth to his thinking. You’d both enjoy psychoanalyzing characters from books, movies, and even from your own lives, constantly engaging in thoughtful, sometimes playful debates. He wouldn’t mind indulging in your detailed analyses of personality types and the like, especially if it gave him the chance to hear you share what’s on your mind. He’d enjoy your company, especially if it involves discussing things like psychology, films, or even dissecting the different facets of a character’s persona.

While you are a little sensitive and struggle with conflict, Yukimiya’s approach to things is more patient and thoughtful than it first appears. He’s not someone who likes to make a fuss or create tension, and he would likely avoid putting unnecessary strain on the relationship. However, when the time comes to communicate, he’d make sure that everything is said honestly and clearly, without leaving things unsaid. He might not always get things right, but his willingness to listen and approach things with patience would make him a reliable partner when conflict arises.

Your creative and intellectual side would be nurtured in this relationship. Yukimiya may not always understand the specifics of everything you enjoy, but he’d appreciate your passion and dedication to things like poetry, writing, and your creative hobbies. Whether it’s sharing books or even just talking about different ideas, he’d support you in your creative endeavours, quietly admiring the depth of thought you bring to the world around you.

[ceenvs3000w25]

Blog 4: Who am I to interpret nature through art?

I have always felt that because I am not an artist, I don’t have the mind to properly interpret art; If I can’t make good art myself, how could I properly put myself in the shoes of the person that made that art?  I have always sought out someone that can tell me what the artist meant by a song or a painting, or someone to tell me how I’m supposed to feel when I observe the art however, this is not the job of a good interpreter.

               This unit has been very informative about how useful it can be to incorporate artistic elements into nature interpretation. Even though I sometimes feel like I don’t have the “right” to interpret through art since I am not an artist, interpretation itself is an art, one that I actually have some skill in! As stated in Tilden’s principles of interpretation, “information, as such, is not interpretation. Interpretation is revelation based upon information…” Through this thinking, each time you interpret you are putting on a performance of sorts, where information must be conveyed in a compelling way that will allow the audience to go home with a memorable experience. Providing an engaging experience allows people to feel like they have used their leisure time well, since they are likely accessing interpretive services on their free time.

               There are several ways that nature could be interpreted through classical art mediums; the textbook mentioned the use of skits or thematic performances, songs and painting as some real-world examples. I have a personal connection to interpretation through song. Some of my fondest memories in the outdoors involve music, whether it be laying on a beach listening to a speaker with my friends, singing camp songs at summer camp or making songs up with my family while camping. My entire childhood, adolescence, and now adulthood is full of musical memories in nature, and they make the memory of enjoying the outdoors so much more special. Even though I’ve never considered myself an artist, I also have memories of making art out of things I find in nature or being theatrical when I share information with the people I hike with, the list goes on and on…

               So, who am I to interpret nature through art? I think I am more than qualified, even though I have doubted myself and my artistic qualities for so much of my life. Art is all about expression and feelings, therefore anyone can be an artist and interpret through art, if they are willing to be open, honest and empathetic, then the feelings will be conveyed.

               But how do I interpret “the gift of beauty”? There was one quote from the textbook that really stood out to me, “Discovering the beauty in the workmanship of a piece of antique furniture, in a special adaptation of an insect, or in a majestic panoramic view is neither strictly educational nor merely “fun”. It stretches the mind to something more…” (Pg 45). This quote spoke to me, as I often find myself admiring the beauty in the strangest things. I am a huge entomology enthusiast; therefore I can frequently be found obsessing over a cool little bug that most people would squish without a second thought. Some of my favourite animals are some of the least charismatic; snakes, bats, lizards, insects, spiders… the list goes on, but I love them all! I think this quality about me makes it easier to interpret the gift of beauty, since I can see the beauty in some pretty weird stuff! Often as I ‘infodump’ on my friends about some nature fact, I can explain it in a way that engages the person, even if they weren’t previously interested in the topic.

               For example, flies are generally disliked because they are an annoying pest, especially when you’re trying to enjoy food outdoors. Many people don’t realize how many types of flies there are, and that they are some of the first pollinators to emerge every year. Flies can begin flying in colder temperatures than bees and wasps, therefore for some of the beauty that you observe in emerging spring flowers, you can thank that annoying fly that you’re swatting away!

[istherewifiinhell]

okayyyy also. tagged by @joelletwo for 5 topics i could talk about for an hour with no prep.

now. two things. 1. i have infernal podcast dude energy and could say a lot about nothing. weird trait to have if u dont like talking to people? hard to say. 2. GESTURES AT BLOG. im ALREADY. talking at length abt my beloved shit. so im just ruling out turtles, alien robots, trek, etcetcetc all the shit thats been a main blog topic for the last past. 4 years?

I'm gonna say.... western voice actors? not that i could really. Give a lecture so much as. I'm way more familiar with them that than I am live action actors. And I'm kinda just CONSTANTLY like. Oh you know so and so from every cartoon youve ever fucking seen? And FEEL a real. gap. with people when they dont have a same reference point. probably like how ppl feel with me when i dont know their acting guys jhadbgjfga. Like u can name 5 VAs from ur childhood cartoons/animated movies right? And personal interest like, hey btw u know like the entire cast of tng was in disneys gargoyles? U know keith david can SING? And diego luna? Hey you know about Canadian actors who are in all the dubs and video games and yeah cheap shit? You know Scott McNeil right? You know Ian James Corlett? You know. THE IAN. of being Ian. Hello. is this thing still on?

I really like and care about the topics of education, children's rights and pedagogy? Not academically so much as, personal interest. What seeing very clearly that there was a lot of arbitrary rules that involved things like. The Government. and Systems. as a child does to a motherfucker I guess? I'm always INTERESTED in a discussion about it, is how i mean I guess. Like focuses of multiple intelligence and "applied knowledge" (and short comings there of). I mean long and short of it. Kids are full human beings and until u can grapple with that their feelings and opinions um. Actually matter. I hate you? jdhbgjhdb. And Naturally the world being good for kids has the prerequisite of it not sucking ass for adults too....

UHhhh guh. User design/civil engineering? You'll hear it from me until the day I die, crushed under the tires of a ford f1 giga truck with the LED 20million watt bulbs. PROTECTED BIKE LANES. for the love of god. I just know a lot of designers I guess and like engineering, conceptually. But like, u know that famous bridge everyone crashes into. If theres 80million warning signs and people are still crashing... maybe theres. other factors. Or you know ofc like, traffic planning, vehicle accidents, structural disasters. A lot of them are not just. Things happening. Tragedies. There's politics there. Usually a lot of Money stuff. and structural racism. The real reason your fridge is full is that there's a bunch of half empty condiment jars hiding all your forgotten left overs. And widening the roads isnt gonna do shit for traffic.

Jackass entry: Themes and motifs of anyyytthing ive watched with another person or saw, and like they also know it. I realllly like, visual theming and narrative shorthands. Anything that breaks like, maybe people in this setting dont have the same customs, but their gonna do something so you the audience can recognize it. Non literal/accurate use of colour and lighting, for mood and clarity. Breaking the physical shape and scale of things so they can appear and be readable on screen. COSTUMING COSTUMING COSTUMING. A well styled character can do soooo much for your understanding of a work, especially with large casts, and a poorly styled one can take me right out. Well. anyway. yes i love animation u all knew that.

uhhhhh Thatgamecompany/giantsquids studio. im giving myself a free space. lol technically I DO. blog about this. the music. at least. BUT beloved. games. Me and everyone else I guess. Hey speaking of u know its laura bailey and troy baker as the voices in the pathless? And you know how a lot of the games have themes of coming into being/growing/rebirth. And LOTS of environmentalism. And implied cultural world building, and wordless stories. and beautiful metaphor rich otherworldly visuals. and gameplay styles that really connect with the emotional story their going for. and ofc, the music. oh the leit motifs. well. there u go. sword of the sea when?

tagginggg. uh did anyone get @deadgrantaires or @army-of-bee-assassins yet? anyone elseeee who wants to regale me with things they knowww about. id love to know.

[awenvs3000f24]

Blog Post 07

This week's readings, especially the articles, really pulled me in and interested me. As a bachelor of arts and science student at UofG, I am particularly intrigued when nature and art come together as we analyze the relationship between the seemingly very different subjects in our core arts and science courses. When I tell people what my program is at guelph, I often get the response of “arts and science, wow those are two very different things to be doing at the same time,” and while yes they are very different subjects at face value, they intersect constantly and there is often not one without the other. The relationship of music with nature is a perfect example of these intertwined worlds, and as a lover of music and singing (even though I’m not a great singer), as well as a lover of nature and wildlife, this week's topic is very exciting to me.

The first question is “where is music in nature?” One of the articles for this week titled “The Music of Nature and the Nature of Music” gives many fantastic examples of music within nature. This article describes different animal species and their version of music, such as humpback whales and birds. When discussing the whales for example, it was so interesting to discover how similar their version of “music” is to ours, as the article mentions that humpback whale songs have similar structure and rhythms to songs made by birds and even humans (Krause, G.P. et al., 2001). This is crazy to think about as whales, birds and humans do not seem to have much in common at all, yet somehow we all make similar music? The article even says “they use phrases of a similar length to ours -- a few seconds -- and create themes out of several phrases before singing the next theme (Krause, G.P. et al., 2001).” This sounds like whales, a part of nature and wildlife are spending time forming these songs, intentionally making them sound pleasant and performing them throughout the years, passing them on to their children just like humans have done for years (Krause, G.P. et al., 2001). Whales aren't just making random sounds and humans are interpreting it as music because they chose to, whales even prefer to use the technique of repetition just like music artists do (Krause, G.P. et al., 2001). They discover what works well, sounds nice, and is easily remembered and they use that material many times over. In an evolution course I took last semester I learned all about the evolutionary crossing of whales and humans, but this has not happened for millions and millions of years, which makes this even more outstanding that our creations of music are so similar. This is a perfect example of music within nature, music is a universal thing which is why it is so beautiful as almost anyone in the world has some sort of relationship or connection with music, and this article provides proof that this extends further than humans, almost every species within nature has a relationship with music. 

Here are some photos from when I was whale watching in Victoria, BC.

The next question is much the same but different, “where is nature in music? If you are someone discovering the world of music within nature, then you are likely someone who seeks out learning about nature and is passionate about the treatment and well being of nature, as well as a lover of music. Well, how can we get more people to pay attention to nature, to get excited about learning about it and to become educated and involved in the protection and well being of it. As we have discussed, music is a giant phenomenon and more people than not love to listen to music, play music, or have music as a big factor of their religion or culture. This means almost everyone is engaging in music in some form or another, much more than people are actively engaging with nature other than existing passively within it in their everyday lives. Incorporating nature within music is an extremely beneficial way to get people thinking about nature when they wouldn't have otherwise and is an enjoyable way to learn. An example of incorporating nature within music is described in the course content within this week's lesson. A musician named Ben Mirin found attempting to bring these two things together an exciting challenge, and he began to incorporate wildlife sounds such as birdsongs into his musical work. This is a genius way to plant a seed in the minds of the audience as they will enjoy the music, and find the mystery sounds intriguing. Most people won't be able to recognize what these sounds are or why Ben incorporated them into his song, but they will be interested enough to go find out, softly leading them more into the world of nature by curiosity. As said within the lesson, “How can a person connect with endangered species that they’ve never seen nor experienced? Create modern music featuring animals' sounds, calls, and songs, of course! (Hooykaas, 2024)” and this is such a great point. For non-nature people, music is a great gateway as it touches so many people in so many ways. This creates a positive ripple effect, leading to more attention towards issues surrounding nature and a bigger push towards nature and environmental protection. 

Finally I will touch on the third part of this blog prompt, a song that reminds me of a certain landscape. I have many examples come to mind when asked this question as I attach memories to songs constantly. This actually helps me remember more meaningful moments, as I am reminded of memories all the time when I listen to music. In 2022 I traveled all around Africa with my family for the second time. When we were in Cape Town, South Africa my cousins and I decided to go on a hike. Some of my cousins are very adventurous and definitely fearless, but me, not so much. This hike up a mountain had very narrow paths on the edge of cliffs and extremely steep areas that we had to climb up. It started to rain and become slippery and I was pretty scared. My cousins and I started to sing “Aint No Mountain High Enough” by Nickolas Ashford and Valerie Simpson to distract me from my fear of heights and to get us to the top of the mountain. All of us singing this song while taking in the beauty of the nature surrounding us, and the view once we made it to the top was something so magical. I don't think I would remember it as vividly without this connection to a song, and everytime I hear it, I am taken right back to that moment singing with my family and experiencing the beauty of nature.

I am excited to hear about all of your connections with music and nature!

[translationandbetrayals]

Neuroqueer representation in a post-apocalyptic world.

I would like to share a personal analysis about my favorite manga, anime and novel of all times. No.6 anime is the first adaptation of a Japanese novel series written by Atsuko Asano, which finally got a manga serialization after the original novel series with the same title finished. I think it's important to mention this detail because isn't the "regular" adaptation order and the original work was done by a novelist, not by a Japanese comic artist (a.k.a mangaka). And since the original work is a novel, the genre and topics are not that easily "labeled" as, for example, a classical shoujo or BL manga. 

The story is set in a post-war dystopian world, in which one of the six parts of the earth still habitable for humans (in the city-state named "Number Six", exactly as the title of the novel), lives Shion, a 12-year-old boy and the protagonist of the story.

Honestly It's too dificult to me to write a lot about this amazing story without make any spoiler, but, anyways, i'm trying. lol

Shion is part of a social elite that he himself seems unaware of at first, due to a number of privileges that he and his mother enjoy thanks to an intelligence test (IQ test) that is given to all children at 2 years of age and in which he obtained one of the highest scores, so he was assured housing, security and the best possible education because the government "invested" in children "with a great future" like him. 

Although he had everything a citizen could wish for in that context and that city, somehow felt uncomfortable with that reality, and one day, on his twelfth birthday, he meets "by accident" a boy of his same age at home with an unknown identity and nicknamed "Nezumi" (rat, in Japanese).

Nezumi is the antithesis of Shion, he has a sarcastic personality and is constantly on the defensive of the people, also he has many enigmas around him; and breaking into Shion's room, these two characters begin to develop a bond with that fleeting encounter, in which they leave an kinda emotional mark on each other without realizing it at first.

After many events (sorry, I don't want to make many spoilers), they meet again four years later, when both of them are 16 years old boys, and then, Shion, who begins to realize that too much "perfection" in the utopian city in which he lived all his life could not be possible, due to a series of events is forced to follow in Nezumi's footsteps to save his life, and ends up knowing "the real world" that the utopian city in which he grew up has been hiding from all citizens: basically a city with crime, dirt, danger, inequality, poverty, hunger, social injustice, etc. And all that was just the tip of the iceberg that Shion had left to continue discovering.

As Shion tries to decipher the mysteries of No. 6, he begins to spend his days living with Nezumi, and discovers many "new" things for him: art, theater, libraries, musical instruments, books in physical format, everything that the "mega-advanced" city had been censoring from the population. And as time passed and he learned more about this real world, Shion and Nezumi gradually influenced each other without realizing it. It's like an emotional bond that transcends friendship began to be forged in each one's existence, and the treatment of this dynamic is very interesting and emotional while their lives are in constant danger in the midst of a "depressing" and rather hopeless panorama such as the apocalyptic landscape of a city used as the garbage dump of another city that appears to be perfect.

This story had a strong personal impact on me, as it touches on some pretty "intense" topics, such as politics, religion, social criticism, and even sexual minorities and neurodivergences in the background.

Perhaps the author wasn't fully aware, but Shion is clearly an autistic headcanon for the series' fandom. As an autistic person, I identify my behaviors with those of this character: the motor clumsiness, the poor use of oral language and literality, the certain degree of "naivety" that he shows at the beginning and the lack of prejudice, in addition as the hatred of injustice and hyperempathy, among others.

Shion was a character considered "smart but stupid" at the same time, and although he was clumsy and had no sense of survival, the people around him somehow developed affection for him, because it was rare for them to see a "person without bad intentions."

This story, especially the original novel, seems very complete to me and it gives important lessons about life and about the modern "developed" societies in which we live, that's why from 2011 to the present, No.6 is my favorite story, and I highly recommend it to everyone.

-Alejandra Lermanda.