#good night queers and peers

[sk3l3t0n444]

ok read all of the tags before coming at me

[local-queer-classicist]

If anybody who sees this post hasn’t seen The VelociPastor please go watch The VelociPastor right now I beg.

[horrorsboyfrie]

Loser!Zandik being crushed on by Popular!Reader

(masc terms on reader+ it's the typical corny social butterfly × weirdo shit, queer edition, honestly + Zandik displays traits of autism + a little murderous♡)

Zandik, as per usual, was spending the night's time in the library. It was quiet, for the most part. While a lot of his fellow peers were focused on finding answers for their own satisfaction, even those who viewed their values and research to be above everyone else's had someone to keep them company; for that reason, they often chose to borrow the necessary books and study in their respective dorms, or the dorms of their friends. Some did indeed prefer the setup of the library's sections and desks, but even so, the peaceful atmosphere was not interrupted by them.

Zandik sat on a table at the very ends of the room. He had a pile of books to his right; some half opened, and others neatly stack on top of each other. He had his notebook and pens nearby, taking notes of anything he deemed crucial knowledge for his personal projects.

Not long had he been entangled in his theories when a specific group of students decided to make an appearance. They could be heard from miles away— and it just so happened that they chose to sit on a table to his right. Malicious intent, no doubt. These people tended to act as if Zandik was some foreign species to be studied; as if he was a sort of a subject that needed constant supervision.

Of any day to endure the constant speculations and disgusted or concerned expressions towards him, today was not the right one. Nothing too horrific had happened to him, not something that would matter to an average person, at least. It's just that he slept wrong, causing him to wake up with slight neck pain, which played a role in worsening his already short temper, which in turn made his sensory issues towards his clothes, especially his socks, far more insufferable than they had to be. He was one unexpected move away from having a meltdown.

Yet again, he managed to ignore the obnoxiously loud 《whispers》 that sprouted out of those filthy rat-filled mouths of theirs, as Zandik's already-overwhelmed mind decided to call them.

Unfortunately for him, the multiple different voices started chanting even more nonsense as you walked towards the table— he could see that you were dreading it. Was everyone so damn bothered by his existence? You were known to be such a sweetheart— contrast to majority of boys there— by those who've interacted with you, but to be fair, none had a reputation quite like Zandik's, so it's no wonder you resented him, as everyone else did.

"Why'd we have to sit here?" he heard you emphasize. He looked your way; he could see the grins on the faces of your friends, the way they seemed to be picking on someone, hushed whispers, mentioning his name time after time, as if he wasn't barely three chairs away. Gods, his patience was running thin.

"Can we just switch seats?" He listened as you practically begged your friend, who was sitting on the complete opposite end of the table. As much as he may have claimed (to himself, seeing as he had none to actually confide in) not be a man driven by emotion, his worse sensory days were tempt to be a catastrophe in every way possible. He left soon after he heard those mumbles; he was too sensitive for his own good, even if he dismissed that fragile soul of his with walls of anger and apathy.

Your friends seemed to notice before you, the fact that he was no longer in the room. All you got was endless teasing about how you've missed your chance or about the fact that you probably 《intimidated》 him. Bullshit, no? You sighed as the group split up again, each going ahead to do their own thing. The only true reason they decided to meet up here was to force you into talking to him. That did not quite work out, it seems.

You hurried to leave as well, when you noticed a small pen on the ground. That must be his; you always see him writing with that specific shade of blue. It's not like nobody else in the whole Akademiya owned the same one, but he was sitting on the table you found it under. You decided to hold on to it. Perhaps it would be an opportunity to finally have a conversation with the guy!

On your way back to the dorms, you noticed him nearing his own room. Maybe now's the time to return him his belongings— especially considering how he seemed to be searching his pockets. His face was indifferent when he realized he didn't have the pen on him, but his hands were trermbling; a hint of anxiety perhaps? One could only speculate. You decided to leave him on his own. He probably wasn't up for company or conversation anyway.

The following few days weren't quite like you expected. Usually, you'd manage to get at least a glance your way by him; laughing at stupid jokes, bumping into people or objects that you could have easily avoided, accidentally saying things a bit too loud. Nothing worked this time. It's as if he purposefully was avoiding you; a fact that got confirmed after you tried walking towards him. He saw you—he made sure you saw his look, he held it for a couple of seconds— and then he walked away. Fuck, there's no way this guy wants anything to do with you.

Weeks later, you had grown to forget ever owning that pen of his; actually, you started using it for yourself. If you can't give it back, then why not use it for yourself?

Zandik, despite trying his hardest to keep his stares away from you and your friends (and pretty much everyone else in that damned building), couldn't help but notice that his long-gone favorite pen is under your possession.

After the very last class of the day, he decided to give you a visit; your fate had been decided by him already. He's done what he's done in the Eleazar hospital and got away with it. It wouldn't be hard to add another body into the endless pile of disappearances; he knew how to keep suspicion off his shoulders.

Perhaps it was a bit too far. He was letting his rage get the better of him; but gods, he really hadn't felt at ease writing with anything else. "His death would make no logical sense to my goals," he sighed as he reminded himself. "What sort of researcher puts his emotions above his values?" He groaned— frustrated both at himself for considering such a solution to his problems, and at the situation itself.

Times like these, he'd go to his special place to sit and think; it was a big tree, near a lake. Children would often talk about their encounters with the Aranara there. At first, he only ever visited that place so he could find one creature and take it for himself, but he grew quite comfortable being there.

He grabbed the opportunity by its hand once he spotted you all alone; sitting with your back against that very same tree that he favored. As if you had a seventh sense, you turned around to see him. He wasn't quite prepared to be greeted with a smile. It caught him off guard; why were you, of all people, showing any form of sympathy for him?

"I was hoping you'd be here" you said, handing him the pen that he has been desperately trying to get a hold of again.

[superhaught]

To Be Another Notch in Your Bedpost

Pairing: Leighton Murray x Reader

Warnings: explicit smut! (18+ MDNI) implied sub/bratty Leighton, implied dom/brat tamer reader, one night stand

(This is my first ever published fic please be gentle! I want to start taking requests for anything Renee/Regina/Leighton so, ya know, tell me if ya like it and wanna see more writing from me)

Word Count: 2700, Part 1/?

Reader has a one night stand with the Leighton Murray.

Explicit Content Below

This party was everything you hated. Loud, unintelligible music. Drunken idiots everywhere. Sticky spills all over the floor and sweaty bodies brushing against you no matter how much you tried to stay out of the way. 

You wouldn’t have even come out tonight if it wasn’t for the fact that your friend basically dragged you kicking and screaming out of your dorm and away from your comfortable Netflix binging. You remained steadfast, though. She could bring you to the party but she couldn’t make you enjoy it. While she danced in the middle of it all, you continued to nurse your one cup of punch against the wall, allowing yourself the guilty pleasure of people watching.

It wasn’t that you thought you were better than your peers, you just couldn’t match their vibe. You couldn’t let go enough. You couldn’t become uninhibited. Your first year at Essex had been an overwhelming one. Making good friends had been hard. Staying on top of your classes even more so. And finding common ground with the legacy and/or wealthy students had been damn near impossible. Your student job in the library was draining, and your dating life had been nonexistent. This party felt like the absolute last thing you needed to decompress. 

You were just about to throw in the towel and say goodbye to your friend when someone unexpected approached you. 

“Hey wallflower,” she said, addressing you, “a few of the Theta guys are concerned that you’re bored or drugged. Either way, they want it to be resolved.”

The girl was Leighton Murray. A rising queen bee on campus. She was deeply connected to the school, extremely popular within multiple social groups on campus, and easily one of the most stunning women you have ever seen by far. 

You chuckle awkwardly and smile at the blonde, “Ah. Well, I am sorry for disturbing the vibe of the party. I know that the frats work hard to make these go well. But truly, I’m neither bored nor drugged, just… not fitting in.”

Leighton raises an eyebrow at you, “I take it this isn’t your usual scene, then?”

“Not at all,” you admit. “I’m much more comfortable in quiet settings with fewer people to worry about.”

Leighton nods and takes a sip from her own drink, glancing over the crowd thoughtfully. She turns back to you, “What made you come, then?”

You shrug, “I was forced by my friend. Apparently my preferred Friday night of watching Queer Eye and baking brownies for myself in the dorm kitchens depresses her.”

Leighton laughs, “It’s not necessarily a bad thing but definitely not how you should be spending your Friday nights in college…” she looks you up and down for a moment, clearly checking you out, “are you… ya know?” She makes her wrist go limp in that recognizable signal and you can’t help but chuckle. 

“What? Gay?” She looks a little embarrassed but you smile warmly and give her a reassuring nod, “Yes, I am. Very much so, don’t worry.”

She nods and takes another drink, and you mirror her. Word spreads quickly amongst the sapphic community at Essex and Leighton had been a big topic of conversation lately. The story was that she had recently come out and was making up for lost time. It wasn’t something that you judged her for, but now that she was here chatting you up, it did make you question the depth of her intentions. 

You tilt your head questioningly at her and decide to be bold, “We haven’t connected yet, have we?” 

Her cheeks flush and she hides her face with her cup again as she responds, “No… we have not…” 

“So were you truly sent by the frat guys to come check on me or did you… maybe volunteer yourself for the task?”

She feigns offense at your question and then shrugs, “I will neither confirm nor deny.” 

You flash her a knowing smirk and take another sip of your drink. You’re more than interested in her, but you’re also more than nervous. Casual hook-ups have never been your thing and Leighton was the type of woman that you’d want to spend more than just one exciting night with. But for all you knew, that’s not what she wanted right now. 

“Well…” she begins quietly, “since you aren’t enjoying yourself here, would it be okay for me to take you somewhere else?”

You slowly nod your head and meet her eyes, “Can I ask you a question first, Leighton?”

She nods back, “Yeah, what’s up?”

“What are you looking for, right now?”

She gives you a confused expression, “What do you mean?”

“Do you want one fun night and nothing more, or someone who might last longer than one fun night?”

She considers the question for a moment, “Is it important for you to know the answer to that before we go further?”

“It is,” you reply, “I just want to manage my expectations.”

She nods in understanding, “You’re the first person who’s actually asked that… honestly, I’m just looking to feel good. Lately, that has resulted in a string of fun nights… but I’m not opposed to having more than that, really.”

“So, you’re saying that if you hit it off with someone and they asked you out, you wouldn’t outright reject them?”

She nods, “Right. Does that… help you with your concerns?”

“Yeah, it does. Thank you.” You smile again and she smiles back, seemingly moved by your tender nature. You hold out your hand to her and finally introduce yourself and she echoes your name back to you as she happily shakes your hand. 

“So… about my offer?”

You giggle and nod, “Get me out of here, Leighton.”

The girl grabs your hand and quickly leads you out of the frat party. You’re able to quickly shoot your friend an explanatory text so that she won’t worry about your whereabouts, and soon enough, you're trailing behind Leighton Murray as she takes you across campus back to her dorm. 

You hold onto her hand the entire time. She swiftly unlocks the door to her suite, which is thankfully empty at the moment, and she pulls you straight into her room, shutting the door behind you. 

You lock eyes and smile, a little nervously on both of your parts. It was comforting to you that there was some anxiety for her as well. But you’ve never been one to let that anxiousness prevent you from taking the lead. You bring your hands up to her cheeks and cradle her softly as you pull her in towards you and close the distance between your lips. Her eyes flutter shut and a small sigh escapes her as you kiss. The softness of her, the lipgloss she wears, the perfume on her neck… all of it completely tantalizes you and you suddenly have no trouble falling into her completely. 

Her hands drift to the small of your back, then she squeezes your ass playfully and yanks you a little closer to her, which prompts you to gently push her backwards so that she’s against the door. Leighton gasps lightly and you smile in the kiss, knowing that your actions have pleased her. Your parted lips give her the opportunity to graze her tongue over your bottom lip and you eagerly accept it and meet her with yours, deepening the kiss. 

You begin to trail your hands down her body, letting your fingertips brush skin where it’s exposed and fidgeting with the fabric of her dress as you go down to her hips and hold onto her firmly. Your touch sends a shiver up her spine and she moans. You pause the kiss for just a moment so that you can take a much needed deep breath, but you keep your nose and forehead pressed against her and meet her gorgeous blue eyes again for a second and you can’t help but be in awe, “fuck…” you breathe.

She nods eagerly and pulls you back in for more. You push her back against the door again, keeping her pinned in place as you gently shift her hair out of the way of her neck and you lean down to place kisses on her skin beneath her jawline and along her pulse point. 

She sighs and melts, biting her lower lip and burying her fingers into the hair at the back of your neck to hold onto you. Your lips and tongue explore her soft, sensitive skin and you playfully nibble at her earlobe which makes her gasp before you return to her lips and continue making out with her. 

You feel her start to rock her hips, trying to grind against you in search of friction where she needs it. You smile and tease her, slowing down your movements and taking your time to worship the other side of her neck and each collarbone. 

She groans, “oh fuck… you… tease...”

You smirk and whisper into her ear, “Feeling needy, Leight? If you want something, you’d better ask for it.”

She whines and bites into her lower lip hard but then indignantly shakes her head, deciding to try to maintain a little bit of brattiness rather than just caving right away. 

Your hands drop down to her thighs and start to toy with the bottom hem of her dress, inching the fabric upwards bit by bit and making her squirm while you kiss her collarbones and as much of her chest as is exposed by the low cut. 

Your fingertips dance over her skin and give her goosebumps as you touch the backs of her thighs feather-light, keeping your pelvis just out of her reach so that when she rocks her hips, she doesn’t find anything to make contact with. You find a great deal of amusement in watching this powerful woman quickly crumble. She pulls your hair harder and gets even more vocal with her whines and groans, cursing in your ear and desperately seeking more deliberate touch from you. 

You keep kissing her neck, touching your lips and tongue softly to her hairline and feeling her pounding heartbeat. You barely hear it, a faint whisper escapes her, “please…” 

You raise an eyebrow and pull back to look at her face, “Hm? What was that?”

Leighton grumbles and whispers it again, “please… please.”

“Please, what?”

“Oh my god please fucking fuck me!” She finally blurts. 

You smile, satisfied, and decide to oblige her instead of gloating any further. You kiss her lips once more before lowering yourself onto your knees between her legs, her mouth falls open and she stares down at you in awe.

You look up at her and maintain eye contact as you hike up the fabric of her dress even more, until it bunches around her hips and exposes her lace panties and an intoxicating inch of skin between her navel and the underwear. You reach your head up and press a soft, cruel kiss to her center over the fabric which makes her jut her hips and groan, falling back against the door a little bit. You can feel how hot and wet she already is and you try not to let that go to your head. 

You slide your hands down the skin of her legs and follow your fingers with your lips, kissing her gently, until your hands reach her heels and you start to take them off of her one at a time while watching her face. 

“You’re so gorgeous, Leighton.” You tell her. 

She just flushes and nods, helping you by kicking her shoes off and out of the way. Your hands return to her thighs and then slowly, you hook your fingers into the waistband of her panties and you start to pull them down. She moans and you feel an overwhelming wave of heat race through your own body and settle between your legs. You watch her eyes as you pull the fabric down and she carefully steps out of it, then you take a moment to admire her like this and you feel like all of this must be a dream. 

“Are you ready, Leighton?” 

She nods emphatically, “God yes… please…”

You nod and help her drape one of her legs over our shoulder as you get yourself into a solid position and bring your face between her thighs.

She leans back, putting more of her weight against the door and with one more affirmative nod, you extend your tongue and drag it along her. 

You hear her moan and can sense her letting her head fall back against the door as she winds her fingers into your hair and holds your head firmly in place so that you are less inclined to pull away. 

Your senses are flooded by the taste and feel of her and your own eyes roll back before you shut them completely and draw your focus into pleasing this incredible woman. Your lips and tongue start to work on her slowly, you moan against her and she grinds against you and you can tell that she’s already anxious for release. 

You drag your tongue languidly through her folds and pause to push it inside of her before returning to her clit and circling the sensitive bundle of nerves with the flat of your tongue. You can easily tell what she likes and wants more of and it doesn’t take long at all to build her up to climax. Your lower face is already drenched in her but you stay in place and maintain the pace and motions that she’s responding to, feeling all of her muscles tense, her breathing quicken and her noises intensify. With just a few more movements of your tongue she finally releases with a long, drawn out moan and you start to slow your ministrations as she rides out her orgasm on your face. She beams widely and laughs joyously through the waves of ecstasy, breathing hard, chest heaving. 

You do your best to clean her up and then you quickly stand and help support her as her legs weaken. With a simple lift, you bring her from the door to her bed and lie her down and she curls up with a big smile on her face and says, “holy shit…” 

You laugh and crawl into the bed next to her and wrap your arms around her while she rests for a moment, catching her breath and regaining her bearings. You spend a few quiet minutes just spooning her and rubbing her back gently and she smiles and hums happily. 

Eventually, she whispers, “You know, I’ve slept with a lot of people recently… but what you just did for me… doesn’t even compare. I feel like you’re on a whole different graph…”

You laugh, “What? That can’t be true.”

“No, I'm being one hundred percent serious. That was insane.”

You smile and get close to her ear and whisper to her, “It doesn’t have to be over…”

“Well right, I need to return the favor…” She starts to roll over toward you but you hold her in place and stop her, leaning over her shoulder and kissing her neck lightly, “sure, you could do that, but I’m talking about it not being over for you…” you whisper against her ear.

“Fuck…” she groans, “are you going for some kind of record?”

“I just want to make you feel good…”

“You’re unreal…”

You flash her a playful smirk and she gets up out of the bed and slips a sock over the door handle to her room, “Bela will understand.”

You both giggle and then she excitedly gets back into the bed with you, climbing onto your lap and immediately capturing your lips in more passionate kisses. 

The night skips on, continuing to excite and pleasure you both, and you remind yourself no short of a hundred times to thank your friend for making you come to the party.

Next Chapter

[thatsmybook]

A few times, I've heard Lisa and Rojda talk about how Young Royals is about the class system and a queer Prince, but also, it's relatable because not only do the cast look like teenagers, they act like teenagers in today's world. So it's also a show about teenagers. With that in mind, I'd like to talk about Simon Eriksson, working class, immigrant, and mixed race student at Hillerska, falling in love with the Prince.

Simon, in S1, deliberately kept any problems about Sara and his life at Hillerska hidden from his mum because he did not want to burden her. He lied to reassure her when she'd get worried about Sara and equally made decisions to help Sara's wellbeing at school. It seemed that he was taking care of his mum and sister when his dad left and after the abusive relationship that seemed to have really affected the whole family. This is why he doesn't share anything bad that he's going through with his mum. He's trying to protect her. He always has.

As to the comments he is getting. I think he is reading them because often they concern his family and are from the people in their town. That, along with the phone calls at night and hate-mail mentioned by Linda at the court hearing in S3 ep1, this means that he's on hyper-vigilance about threats to him and his family. So, my theory is that he is monitoring his comments and engaging to try to defuse things. But just like in all 3 seasons, his actions often lead to more problems.

This is a 16 year old kid, the youngest in his family, doing things an adult should be doing. This is very relatable for many working-class single parent families. Something to add about first-generation kids of immigrant families, having an extra layer of working to help the family navigate the country and society they're in.

Also, as to the comments, there have been many real life incidents, unfortunately , of teenagers getting hate comments online from their peers and bullied to the point of taking their own lives. Simply telling them not to read the comments may not have worked for them. (Yet so many reactors to this season think it's that simple).

Simon is getting a volumous amount of hate comments, which started right after the sex video was released in S1. At that point, the comments were in the print media.

He needs actual support, less obliviousness from the adults in his life about what is happening to him (that includes the Royal Court), and understanding about the actual effect of comments on his mental health from everyone around him. He is a victim of actual hate, and when I hear about any child going through that kind of regular abuse, my heart goes out to them.

Seeing how supportive Simon's dad could be in this 3rd season in his conversations with Sara, we can see how much Simon actually misses his dad. Because had he had a relationship with him, without the baggage of Sara's need for distance, he would have probably noticed that Simme needed help and been quite good at it, when he could manage it.

However, we as the audience seem to be blinded by Wille's more important problems, partly because the show is largely from his POV, but also because his pressures seem bigger. As a result, I've seen fans come down on Simon for not putting his life's woes in perspective to support Wille more. We start to see big cracks in their relationship and start to feel that they just won't work out.

But, they're also just kids in their first relationship. Miscommunication is completely normal at that age. They've only just been spending actual time with each other this season and getting to know each other. Yet they are dealing with adult problems, and so many of us fans are shouting at the screen - talk to each other! I feel like, if I were one of them, there is so much weight on me that I'd be too scared to open the floodgates and actually tell my boyfriend what's happening because I don't want to scare him. And no wonder they spend most of their time making out. It's the easiest part of their relationship and what gives them actual joy at the moment.

So I give grace to these characters and kudos to the creators of the show, for showing ACTUAL teenagers dealing with real life problems, amplified for drama because of the dichotomy of being a Prince and a commoner. But, I don't judge ANY of the characters when I apply the same analysis I've given here to Simon to all the other four characters. What this show requires of us adults is empathy for their plight and maybe a closer look at the teenagers in our lives. What it does for the teen audience is show them that they're not alone when they mess up or are dealing with life pressures. We as a society won't judge them. We will work to understand them and share their burdens.

[iheartbrink]

it will rain — chap. 1

 ⠀ ── ⠀ pair: pastors daughter!stewie x oc

 ⠀ ── ⠀ warnings: extremely heavy religious talk, religious guilt, talks of conversion camp, all the things, this is wordy and too long.

 ⠀ ── ⠀ a/n: my brain is fried from writing this.. not proofread whatsoever.

Breanna knew what she was doing was wrong. Every fiber of her being screamed it. She knew that by crossing this line, she was damning herself. Damning herself not just in the eyes of her parents, her church, or her peers, but in the eyes of God. The teachings she’d grown up with were clear: girls like her were not meant to love girls like Madison. They were meant to confess these urges and purge themselves of these sinful desires. Yet, here she was, on the precipice of something that could never be undone.

She knew, with bone-deep certainty, that if her mother—let alone her father—ever found out about what she was doing, she would be sent away. There would be no forgiveness, no understanding, only punishment. Maybe she’d be shipped off to one of those camps. Or perhaps they’d try to “pray the gay away” during one of the church’s all-night revival sessions. Either way, Breanna wouldn’t be allowed to stay.

She would be sent away.

Sent away from the one person who had ever truly seen her. Sent away from the only person who made her feel as though she wasn’t walking through life with a mask on, pretending to be someone she wasn’t. Sent away from her first love, her real love. The one she’d never expected, and yet couldn’t deny.

But what if she wasn’t sent away? What if her secret remained? Could she live with it, knowing it defied everything she had been taught? What would it mean for her, and Madison, if they managed to keep this under wraps? Would the love they shared be worth the risk of eternal damnation?

 ⠀ ── ⠀

Rosewood, California, wasn’t exactly a place for people like Breanna. Not for a queer girl growing up under the suffocating expectations of the church. Certainly not for the daughter of Pastor Stewart, who led Rosewood Catholic Church with an iron grip on morality. In this small town, Breanna was not just Breanna Stewart. She was the Breanna Stewart—church princess, moral compass for others, and the girl who seemingly had it all figured out.

But no one knew about the unrest raging beneath her exterior. Not her father, her mother, or even Lucas—the boy she was supposed to be in love with.

Lucas was a nice enough guy, she supposed, but Breanna couldn’t help the gnawing emptiness she felt whenever he kissed her. There was no spark, no fire, only an odd sense of obligation. She tried to convince herself that this was just how things were meant to be. That she should feel lucky to have a good guy like Lucas, but deep down she knew it was a lie.

Because whenever she looked at her best friend, Madison, her heart surged in a way it never did for Lucas. The way Madison laughed, the way her hair fell in waves over her shoulders, the way she smiled at Breanna like she was the most important person in the world—those things ignited something within her she could not deny.

Breanna had convinced herself for so long that she wasn’t gay. She wasn’t. She couldn’t be. After all, being gay was a sin, and Breanna Stewart didn’t sin. At least, she wasn’t supposed to. But the feelings she had for Madison were impossible to ignore. She could push them down, try to hide them away, but they always resurfaced, stronger each time.

And tonight, they were about to come to a head.

 ⠀ ── ⠀

Breanna knew that coming to this party was a terrible idea. She knew the moment she stepped through the door that she should’ve turned around and gone home.

She had told herself she would stay for an hour, just long enough to show her face and then leave before anything went too far. But somehow, she found herself drawn into a circle of friends playing Seven Minutes in Heaven, a game she had heard about but never dared to play. Not with Madison sitting right next to her, her best friend, her not-so-secret crush.

Now, she was about to enter that dark, claustrophobic closet with Madison. Seven minutes. Alone. With the one person, she had forbidden herself from ever thinking about this way. Her heart hammered against her ribs as she stood up to go inside, the air in the room feeling thick and oppressive.

“This is a bad idea,” Breanna thought, over and over again. But her feet kept moving, carrying her forward. She told herself it was just a game, just an innocent little game. She could kiss Madison, prove to herself that it wasn’t all that. Prove to herself that this was nothing more than a phase.

“Kiss her once, show yourself how horrible it is. Then you’ll never crave it again,” Breanna whispered under her breath as they stepped inside the cramped space together.

But the moment Madison’s arm brushed against hers, doubt crept in. The warmth of her skin sent a shiver down Breanna’s spine. The familiar scent of Madison’s perfume filled the small closet, making it hard to breathe.

What if this wasn’t as bad of an idea as she had convinced herself? What if kissing Madison wasn’t a mistake, but rather, the thing she had been denying herself for so long? What if, instead of pushing her further away, this kiss brought them closer together?

She swallowed hard, torn between the pull of desire and the fear of losing everything she had built with Madison.

“Just a quick kiss,” Breanna murmured, the words barely a whisper, her voice unrecognizable to her own ears. Madison’s eyes widened in surprise, searching Breanna’s face for any sign of uncertainty.

“Are you sure?” Madison asked, her voice soft but filled with concern, her breath warm against Breanna’s cheek.

Breanna nodded, her heart pounding in her chest. “Yeah. Just this once.”

Madison hesitated for a moment, and then leaned in. Their lips met softly at first, a gentle touch that sent a shockwave through Breanna’s entire body. Her breath hitched, and for a second, she thought about pulling away. But something deeper took over, and before she knew it, the kiss deepened.

Time seemed to stop. There was no party, no game, no world outside of this kiss. There was only Madison. And as their lips moved together, slow and tentative at first, then more confident, Breanna felt something ignite within her that she hadn’t known was there.

When they finally pulled apart, both breathless, Breanna knew in that instant that this wasn’t just a moment of weakness. This wasn’t a mistake to be buried and forgotten. This was the beginning of something far bigger, something she could no longer ignore.

It wasn’t a sin. It was love. And love, no matter what they said, couldn’t be wrong. Could it?

[scentedpepper]

Cinderellas Slipper

BILLY HARGROVE X MALE READER

Summary: Billy tries to apologize but loses his slipper instead.

Content Warnings: "Queer" used in a derogatory manner. Brief mention of Billy and Reader having sexual relations. Established Relationships/Lore

Other Pairing(s): Steve Harrington x Male Reader, Jonathan Byers x Male Reader, Will Byers x Male Reader, Nancy Wheeler x Billy Hargrove (implied not said)

AUTHOR NOTE(S):

Writing specific scenes that pop into my head is much easier than committing to an entire fanfic :p

Feeling kinda meh abt this one guys idddkkkk

Uhhhhh Billy is gay bc I say so

No but that headcanon really gets my writer loins spinnin

The depth

Anyway

Billy's a wee bit jealous

👍

_________________________________________

Billy's not sure what lead him to this point.

But the moment he steps out of his Camaro he has to pause, place his hands on his hips, and pace. Once. Twice. Three times for good measure before his attention is redirected to his destination.

Depot Central.

"Hawkins for the Family" Or so the sign outside had stated.

It's 4:30 in the afternoon, you've only been on shift for 30 minutes.

Three and a half hours to go.

Billy has memorized your schedule like the back of his hand.

The depot wasn't small by any means, but most of its stores closed at the latest of six due to its small town status. The depot itself mainly used the second story to hoard it's products, what couldn't fit through the windows displayed itself like an open antique shop on the 1st floor, the remaining area that couldn't be utilized by the display lay store merchandise.

This was the third time in a row he'd come back to the depot.

The first time he'd be stepping inside.

If the place had more customers he would've stalled a little longer, maybe considered another 3 rounds of pacing the parking lot but there was no one in front of him when he stood off to the side, peering through the windows.

His hands find his hips again, pressing agaisnt the brown leather belt adorning his dark blue jeans. It was new. He'd went out and bought it a few days ago. Even went as far as hiding between the aisles of the women's section trying to scope out style.

He didn't buy the pink or purple belt, regardless of how "nice" you said those colors were on him. Instead, by a random struck of luck that felt unwarranted, he'd found one even more perfect. One in which the gems were arranged in a way that made it look like the night sky.

Fucking space because you were into that shit or whatever.

Gemstones on top of silver. And Billy felt like a star on the belt, big and prominent.

Maybe that was wishful thinking. He couldn't really reject the feeling of suffocating when the gems shined in the sunlight through the window panes beside him.

Girly.

Feminine.

Queer.

Billy tries to ignore them and in the process, he considers ditching his clothing choices for today and giving in to his original idea. But even so, with all he's been through, Billy isn't really aware that the things he's learned from you have stuck this long.

He'd scrubbed himself raw in the bathroom just 30 minutes ago. And he made sure to perfectly place the top portion of his maroon button up that was peeled open. And he dabbed cologne on every inch of his body, just in case the amount he had initially put on wasn't enough. And while he was driving he made sure to keep the cigarettes in his dash because he knew the smell, reminiscent of your father, was the sole reason you had never picked them up throughout your teenager years. Not even to just try.

So once more, everything right down to his clean socks were an item of scrutiny. He even had spare deodorant in his car if he started to sweat.

And for what? He didn't fucking know.

The urge to repeat his pacing however came and he knew very well what that meant.

He was thinking about turning around.

But to make sure his body isn't going the opposite direction, he checks his front pockets where two cards were securely nestled in.

Dare Billy say he was almost scared.

He feels sweat starting to prick on the back of his neck, underneath his perfectly defined curls –he didn't even want to think about the measures he went to learn how to make them look so pretty– and he ducks back into his car, deciding he should just put the deodorant everywhere.

As he fumbles for the anti perspirant in his dash, feet sticking out of the car and body pressing against the middle console awkwardly, he realizes that he's almost forgotten the singular rose that he specifically taped to head of his passenger seat so he wouldn't forget it.

Quickly, Billy retrieves the rose and proceeds to rub himself down with the light spray of deodorant.

And despite his previous antsy nature, when he finally goes to walk to the entrance of the store, his face is the perfect mix between cool and ready. But his eyebrows are furrowed, a giveaway to the turmoil going on in his head.

Once the doors slide open, the chimes on top barely audible in the distance, Billy's face twitches ever so slightly when he realizes who is bent over the checkout counter, chatting you up, eliciting deep, rumbling laughter from your wide chest.

Steve.

Billy makes sure the displeasure is gone from his face with a blink of the eyes before he's approaching the two with nonchalant grace. He makes sure his gait is perfect and makes no noise against the flooring of the store, this way he can spy on your conversation from behind the taller shelves of canned food.

He listens close enough to pick up the murmurings of some new ice cream recipe you had apparently tried over the weekend with Will and Jonathan. Sounded absolutely disgusting to Billy. There was pecan and raspberry involved, as well as a hint of honey which would be fine if it wasn't inside frozen food.

But Billy found himself not really paying attention to the words being exchanged, moreso the tone.

Or, more importantly– how Steve said them. Emphasized certain vowels that he wouldn't unless he was in the presence of someone really close.

Just the thought tightens his grip on the small rose clasped tightly in between his fingers and he decides to finally make himself known by making a detour into the candy aisle beside the front desk, going over to get a pack of black liquorish and throwing the item down at the counter for you to ring up.

Your eyes fling up in startle, as though you hadn't noticed Billy at all until the very moment he slammed the unsavory candy on the counter, the plastic brushing a strand of Steve's hair on the way down.

Maybe it was a little bit of an overreaction, but he couldn't help it.

There were instances in which Billy acted purely upon instinct or impulse. Moments in which he let those feelings go to his head and not only let it manifest into words, sometimes that energy even moved his entire body without asking.

You had paused mid-sentence to take in the scene before you. How could you not?

Steve was dumbfounded. Not because the candy was an offense to his palate but because the intensity with which Billy pushed the packaged item towards you was a big one.

Steve moved away from the man looming over his shoulder, offended for his friend across the counter.

The first time Steve had walked in on you two, Billy wanted to kill him –almost killed him. Whatever he was about to retort would most likely have the same outcome.

Because it didn't matter how nicely Billy dressed or spoke to you, Steve could still see the shadow of Billy in his mind, a storm all his own lurking underneath flesh.

"We're still talking. " The brunette finally speaks up, motioning back and forth between himself and you.

Billy snorts and rolls his eyes, trying his hardest not to call the boy across from him something more obscene than asshole because he knows it would lose him any chance of speaking to you.

"You're a worker, right? " Billy plants his forearm on the counter, mocking Steve's pervious position.

"Work. " He spits.

You stare back at him pointedly, hands on your waist before you grab the item and run it across the scanner. A green light graces you skin and a beep fills the empty room.

"52 cents, sir. " You retort simply.

Sir.

Sir.

"Sir?" Billy reels, face controrting into disgust. The word burned all over, and surely the older boy in front of him knew how much that word would affect him. He must've known that it'd make Billy Hargrove piss his pants.

You did.

But nevertheless, Billy pulls his wallet out and drops a five on the counter, telling you to keep the rest.

The plastic covering of the candy crinkles under your fingers as you lift it from the counter, passing it back to the blonde.

Your fingers brush beneath the packaging and all air seems to whoosh out of Billy's lung in response.

You meets his eyes in the middle.

It's silent for a moment.

–Save for Steve who's munching on the same type of candy just off to the side.

The blonde blinks, once, twice. His brows raising again like they had in his car. Billy can feel it, and he fights the urge to pull his fingers away but he doesn't, both of your hands just dangling there for a minute longer.

"Mm!" Steve chokes suddenly, wincing right after as the liquorish becomes a glob in his mouth and his body jerks backwards in discomfort.

It breaks the moment but Billy has an easier time collecting himself than his competitor.

"Steve. " You exclaim and you make a move towards him, patting your friends back with exaggerated aggression.

"I'm okay. " He rasps. "I'm okay. " He raises his hands up in the air but his words deceive him as he starts another fit of coughing.

After a minute or so of more gagging and choking and violent beatings on the back, Steve finally manages to swallow, with a loud groan of course.

You manage a laugh at the boys struggle, masking the noise the bell atop the door makes when it flies open.

And when you turn back around, half a grin still on your face, you're met with emptiness.

That, and a singular rose haphazardly placed on the counter.

[ohdorothea]

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info here! Lyrics for the songs and FAQ under the cut!!!

Midnight Rain lyrics

Rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed

Like midnight

My town was a wasteland

Full of cages, full of fences

Pageant queens and big pretenders

But for some it was paradise

My boy was a montage

A slow motion, love potion

Jumping off things in the ocean

I broke his heart 'cause he was nice

He was sunshine

I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed

Like midnight

It came like a postcard

Picture perfect shiny family

Holiday peppermint candy

But for him it's every day

So I peered through a window

A deep portal, time travel

All the love we unravel

And the life I gave away

'Cause he was sunshine

I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed

Like midnight

Rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed

Like midnight

I guess sometimes we all get

Just what we wanted, just what we wanted

And he never thinks of me

Except when I'm on TV

I guess sometimes we all get

Some kind of haunted, some kind of haunted

And I never think of him

Except on midnights like this

Midnights like this

🫶🫶🫶

Bejeweled lyrics

Baby love, I think I've been a little too kind

Didn't notice you walking all over my peace of mind

In the shoes I gave you as a present

Putting someone first only works when you're in their top five

And by the way

I'm going out tonight

Best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room

I can still make the whole place shimmer

And when I meet the band

They ask, "Do you have a man?"

I could still say, "I don't remember"

Familiarity breeds contempt

Don't put me in the basement

When I want the penthouse of your heart

Diamonds in my eyes

I polish up real

I polish up real nice

Nice

Baby boy, I think I've been too good of a girl

Too good of a girl

Did all the extra credit then got graded on a curve

I think it's time to teach some lessons

I made you my world

Have you heard?

I can reclaim the land

And I miss you

But I miss sparkling

(Nice) Best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room

I can still make the whole place shimmer

And when I meet the band

They ask, "Do you have a man?"

I could still say, "I don't remember"

Familiarity breeds contempt

Don't put me in the basement

When I want the penthouse of your heart

Diamonds in my eyes

I polish up real

I polish up real nice

Nice

Sapphire tears on my face

Sadness became my whole sky

But some guy said my aura's moonstone

Just 'cause he was high

And we're dancing all night

And you can try

To change my mind

But you might have to wait in line

What's a girl gonna do?

A diamond's gotta shine

Best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room

I can still make the whole place shimmer

And when I meet the band

They ask, "Do you have a man?"

I could still say, "I don't remember"

Familiarity breeds contempt

Don't put me in the basement

When I want the penthouse of your heart

Diamonds in my eyes

I polish up real (Nice)

I polish up real nice

And we're dancing all night

And you can try

To change my mind

But you might have to wait in line

What's a girl gonna do?

What's a girl gonna do?

I polish up nice

Best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room

I can still make the whole place shimmer

🫶🫶🫶

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!

If you’d like to send in interpretations or propaganda for a specific song you can send them to my inbox! All interpretations are welcome and let’s be open and kind in response to all interpretations <3

[erynshouseofhorrors]

My Queer Marble Hornets Headcanons

This is mostly going to be Alex, Jay, Brian, and Tim since I'm not as familiar with the other characters. Jessica's at the end but there's not a lot, so I welcome people to add on!

Warning: Tim/Brian/Unnamed OC, Jay/Alex, Amy/Jessica, and mentioned Alex/Amy. Obviously very little of this is canon lol.

Jay Merrick

Jay is canonically gay and I think that just fits. He didn't find out he was gay until their junior year of high school, thanks to a guy whose name he has long forgotten.

Jay is definitely transmasc. I don't think they're entirely male, but not exactly both male and female. He's somewhere in-between male and neutral. I purposefully left their AGAB up to interpretation, I think it could go either way. Transmasc just means identifying with a masc gender that you weren't assigned at birth.

Jay uses he/they pronouns.

The first person outside of Jay's family that they came out to was Alex during their sophomore year of university. Alex is also the only one of his friends aware of Jay's struggle with gender identity, making their bond extra special. Eventually Jessica would also be looped in on that secret.

He thinks about using makeup, but they're too scared to actually buy himself anything in fear of judgement... until Alex bought him an eyeshadow palette.

They actually got pretty good at applying and styling makeup, and he helped Alex out by being the makeup artist (and script supervisor) for Marble Hornets.

Alex Kralie

I can't picture him dating a girl and actually enjoying it. His relationship with labels is difficult, because he struggles to tell the difference between romantic attraction and platonic love, which is mostly why he got with Amy to begin with. They broke up because Alex wouldn't take their relationship past a kiss on the cheek and arm around the shoulder.

When he met Jay his freshman year of uni, that was the first time he felt physically attracted to someone. The weeks to follow were filled with "am I gay" quizzes and articles.

Alex only settled on the gay label for the sake of convenience. He doesn't mind going unlabeled or switching labels around as things change and his relationships grow.

He probably doesn't know this yet, but he's definitely on the asexual spectrum. He feels sexual attraction, but only sometimes. I hc him as either greyace or demiace.

Alex uses he/him pronouns.

Brian Thomas

Brian uses both pansexual and bisexual to describe his sexuality. "Ass is ass, man. I don't care."

His sexuality has never been something he hid, but it also wasn't obvious to his straight peers. He'll casually bring up an ex-boyfriend or first kiss and everyone has their jaw on the floor. Almost everyone. Tim's usually in the corner of the room, smirking at their obliviousness.

Brian uses he/him pronouns, but he won't flip his lid if someone calls him something else. He knows his identity isn't defined by how others choose to perceive him.

He's definitely that friend who's known they were gay since grade school, so he's well educated on queer history and terminology. He even helped Alex and Tim out while they were questioning.

He dated Tim in their early years at uni, but split up after Tim had a mental breakdown and ghosted him for a few months.

Brian is also ambiamorous, which means he's okay with being in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship. This is partly why he wasn't too upset when Tim moved on and started dating a girl from another town. Why try bagging your ex when you can bag him and his new girlfriend, am I right?

Tim Wright

Tim never bothered with sexuality labels until he was finally free of psychosis and constant hospital visits. He was too busy fighting for his life to think and fantasize about love interests.

He was completely convinced he was straight until he and Brian shared a drunken kiss the night after final exams. After that, he and Brian were hooking up in secret, and Tim was having an identity crisis behind the scenes.

Tim and Brian were together for at least a few months before Tim ghosted him. It wasn't his fault, or Brian's. Tim's psychosis had been coming back, causing him to self-isolate out of paranoia. Whenever Brian tried reaching out, Tim replied with radio silence.

After getting better (again) he was too scared to contact Brian, so he forced himself to move on. And he did! He started dating a girl he met while working, and things just kind of took off. And then Brian enters his life again.

His girlfriend, surprisingly, was amused by Brian's flirtatious remarks toward her and Tim, and even teased back. After a long conversation with Tim, they decided to ask Brian out.

Tim still doesn't care for labels, but when asked he'll say he's bisexual and ambiamorous. Also he uses he/him because I forgot to mention that.

Jessica Locke

I believe someone working with Troy on the comics believes Jessica is a lesbian and honestly I love that interpretation. Nothing about her screams "straight" to me.

I truly, truly believe Jessica is trans MTF. She does voice training every morning to get better at sounding feminine, mostly to avoid harassment from her peers.

She's incredibly skilled with makeup, since she's had lots of practice in middle school. She was the one Jay came to when he got his first eyeshadow palette from Alex.

Jessica was there for Amy when she and Alex split. They had a sleep over for three nights in a row, ignoring the fact that they were roommates and already slept in the same building. They switched back and forth between Jessica's room and Amy's, making pillow forts and watching cartoons until all thoughts of Alex were gone. A month later, Amy asked Jessica on a date.

Honestly I think she'd be okay with any variant of she/her, so get creative.

aaaaaaa I hope you enjoyed! I haven't posted any headcanons before so I am nervous lol also fyi I didn't proofread this so oh well

[goldnhourwrites]

HEARTSTEEL COLLEGE AU HEADCANONS

This phrase seized me yesterday and I have not been able to stop thinking about it. Who knows, maybe I'll write a fic :)

inspired by my experiences as a college student in the US!

Yone

Pre-med student with a minor in psychology

Does peer tutoring and notetaking for his biology classes

always doing work. being a pre-med student is so much Work All The Time. this is why Yone is always seen with coffee and dark circles under his eyes.

He manages fairly well for someone with so much on his plate - he keeps an impressively functional sleep schedule (goes to bed at 10pm every night, wakes up at 8am every morning)

Is an RA (resident advisor) for his dorm floor and tries to be a good resource for freshmen

Bikes everywhere, enjoys taking walks/getting outdoors for a break from studying

Likes to make and listen to music in his free time (which is not a lot)

Sett

Majoring in athletic training to be a sports coach

Student athlete on the wrestling team - spends a lot of time training and traveling to meets off-campus, so he's not around much until the off-season

Hangs out with the boxing club when he's not doing wrestling

Part of an all-men a capella group and enjoys singing/rapping

Joined a fraternity in his sophomore year because most of the wrestling team was on it and enjoys chilling with his friends in it

Casually bakes things in his free time and brings them to the wrestling team/his classmates/office hours/his frat brothers

K'Sante

Anthropology major, education minor - interested in becoming a teacher/professor and enjoys working with kids

Also a student athlete, on the powerlifting team

Part of a hip-hop dance group on campus and likes to choreograph

Involved in campus queer life and helps organize/run events

Takes voice lessons - used to play trumpet, but didn't have time for both in his schedule

Also part of a fraternity, enjoys the sense of community it offers and plays an active part in organizing/managing their social events

Seems like he's constantly busy, but always makes time for his friends and enjoys the feeling of being on-the-go

Ezreal

History major with a minor in classics (studies Latin/ancient Greek literature and languages)

Acts with a theater club in his spare time - loves musical theater and plays, especially Shakespeare

Hung out in the history/special collections section of the library so much he got a student job there

Loves wandering around campus to find cool, obscure places that he's probably not supposed to be in

Joined a debate team in his freshman year (Kayn was on it) (they hated each other)

Big on going to parties but can't handle alcohol so instead of getting drunk he goes back to his dorm and falls asleep at like 11pm

Aphelios

Computer science major with a minor in graphic design

Does digital art and traditional art; enjoys taking studio art classes when his schedule isn't full

Occasionally does game design and similar coding projects

In the orchestra and plays the violin!

Enjoys physically making things every once in a while - jewelry, paintings, etc. and often doodles in a sketchbook absentmindedly

Sometimes publishes his art and poetry in a student magazine under a pseudonym

Kayn

Political science or government major with a minor in studio art

Spends a lot of time in the woodworking/metalworking studios, partially for art classes and partially because he just likes hands-on projects

Plays electric guitar and was part of a student band for a while (the one he got kicked out of)

Likes parkour and rock climbing, regularly shows off his ability to climb up things that he definitely should not be climbing on

Member of a fraternity (but it's the kind that throws a bunch of parties and probably has illegal drugs)

Goes out to party every weekend and doesn't wake up until 1pm the next day

Skateboards everywhere and knows a bunch of cool tricks

Alune

Film production major with a minor in biology

Part of a fashion design club and does photoshoots for/with them

Does a capella and loves performing! Does musical theater every once in a while

Active in political causes on campus

Works as a barista in one of the campus cafés

Likes to roller skate around

i have a couple combined/group headcanons that i'll post tomorrow if i have time :3 this AU has grabbed me and is currently shaking me by the shoulders and won't let go

[irreverententity]

⌞✦ 𝐈𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐘’s INTRO ✦⌝

── .✦ M Y B L O G

hello hello hello *tips hat* My name is Sirius but u can call me pads, z, or generational disappointment if you’re my family ! I’m legally 18 with the body of an 80 yr old

ıllı my blog will be chaotic and include everything from fit checks to anti-capitalism/facism rambles to hozier is jesus conspiracy theories to dying on the destiel was the og queerbaiting hill. this is my brain in a blog. everything will be tagged accordingly but buckle up anyway. I do have mental health issues which may be offhandedly mentioned and could be potentially triggering but that’s NOT what this blog is for. [if you’re here from my vent blog haiiii :D if you want my vent blog just dm :)]

── .✦ A B O U T M E

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　

▊▍ ‹ MY PRONOUNS ⸝⸝

he/him/his they/them/theirs

xe/xem/zyr it/its/its

de/demon/demons fall/fallen/falls

imp/imp/imp star/star/stars

sin/sin/sins ze/zem/zyr

✦ .　　　　　 . ˚ . . ✦ ˚

I generally identify as a problem. I’m queer, polyamorous, and have a qpp <3 gender wise…idfk anymore, but I use the labels nonbinary/transmasc/boycreature. I generally present as masc or androgynous but once i transition I plan on presenting more feminine bc I like to hoard all the genders 🤲🏼 (if you’re reading this, check your pockets, your gender may have been stolen)

I’m chronically ill (h-EDS + POTS) and disabled (autistic) !

random shit: i’m vegan, punk, a chronic caffeine/energy drink consumer, and if you haven’t guessed cliché — but there aren’t enough peer reviewed emo pre-teen claire’s rejected peircings haver bitches in the world anymore.

use tone tags with me !!

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　

✦ = current special interest ・

☓﹐⊂⊃﹒➜ interests: peircings/body mods, kinks/bdsm, crafting/patch work, bone collecting, cryptids, norse&greek mythology, art, writing, editing, sleeping, dead dove fanfiction, watching movies, doom scrolling + more

☓﹐⊂⊃﹒➜ my fandoms: ✦ doctor who, ✦ supernatural, ✦ good omens, helluva boss/hazbin hotel, yaelokre, sherlock, house m.d, the walking dead, lucifer, five nights at freddy’s, the marauders era (hp), marvel, star wars, star trek, arcane, the umbrella academy, shameless, the flash, the arrow + I like a lot of other fandoms that are dead/were never really fandoms/I enjoy the films but I’m not in the fandom

── .✦N A V I G A T I O N

do not interact. tagging system.

kintypes. credits.

[theguardianace]

AROACE POLYSHO ???? SPILL SPILL SPILL TWLL ME ALL ABOUT IT PLEASE

AROACE POLYSHOW AROACE POLYSHOW THE GREATEST THING OF ALL TIME.

things of note that i think are fun.... nene and rui had major questioning phases pre-wxs about being aroace. i'd imagine nene being really confused why everyone around her seemed so interested in dating and romance and the whole amatanormative feel of dramatic media and such. it's in so many plays, and people get in so many shipping wars/draw suggestive art for games. it's hard to ignore as a theater kid and gamer. she didn't get it and felt isolated. she came across the term aroace online but had a hard time accepting that she might be that, but eventually silently embraced it. rui on the other hand knew full well he was not like other people. he's not the kind of guy who would pick and choose a crush that isn't there. being aroace and a middle/high schooler made him feel even more lonely and alienated from his peers. he agknowledged the fact he was aroace pretty easily, but it took him a lot longer to accept that isn't a bad thing at all.

emu and tsukasa had NO clue they were aroace. did not occur to them at all. emu had to be told it was a thing and she went "huh? OHHH THATS ME !!!! :D". skipped teh entire questioning/am i broken stage and went right to "hehehehehehe". (though other people don't believe her that often. emu is so full of love. how could someone like her not fall in love with other people? she's too young. she hasn't met the right person yet. it's just a phase. her siblings started off as ignorantly aphobic, but then realized the fault of their ways and learned.). my hc for tsukasa is a bit different than other peoples, but i am fully convinced he thought he was bisexual for teh LONGEST time. "guys and girls can both be good looking, so i must be bi! yeah the extent of my feelings is "they're cool" ... what do you mean that's not what a crush is". it was a shocking revelation to him that people actually want to kiss/have sex for real. he's accepted being aroace and actively embraces it, though he still feels connected to teh bi label. he'd like the concept of tertiary attraction and probably label as bi aroace, to honor both.

i like to think that tsukasa accidentally came out first (accidentally meaning he simply forgot to tell them and then was surprised when they were all surprised). emu was like !!!!! omg samsies and nene laughed and came out, too. wxs were the first people rui ever said the words "aromantic asexual" out loud to.

i personally think aroace polyshow never actually labeled themeselves as such, but BOY do tehy act like they're all married. they just care about each other soooooo much. its platonic its queer platonic its romantic its everything all blended together. if its them, they can do anything. with the shared knowledge of being aroace, they all also sort of feel more comfortable being openly affectionate, yknow? there's no risk of misinterpretation of intent- they love each other. they love each other in a way that they cannot describe and most people wouldn't understand. they are tied by their love of shows and their love of each other. emu is really physically affectionate and they all feel safe cuddling with her. rui lightheartedly flirts and half the time i dont think he even realizes he's doing it, the other half he's just trying to be silly. nene excels in the silent acts of love, making sure the stage is clean and there's always a few snacks backstage and honeslty just being there for everyone.

they have game night/sleepover every once in a while, usually during planning stages of shows. there's also a high likelyhood one goes to another's house at least once a week for some reason.

oh also they never do romance plays ever. it was a revelation tehy only came to after coming out. it just... never occured to them to do one. and now that they all know none of them can fall in love they actively try and avoid it. they've re-written fables to be about the power of friendship, or re-imagined the tale to the point romance wouldn't even be on anyone's mind. it's not a theme the audience ever picks up on, but at the same time they do? they don't realize the pattern but nobody ever comes out of a show with that interpretation. their shows are a hit every time, too. ("story" doesn't mean "romance", after all).

wonderlands x showtime isn't a romance. it's a love story.

[part-time-zombie]

Seeing alot of posts about being aromantic lately and it reminded me of one particular interaction I had a while back.

I was talking to a coworker one night and the conversation somehow migrated to dating and relationships. Coworker is a much older man, straight with a classic "ball and chain" perspective of his married life. Eventually he asks me about my (nonexistent) boyfriend/dating life.

Cue uncomortable internal squirming.

(while I usually just call myself queer as a catch-all umbrella label for myself, I feel the closest with being aroace and feel very little attracion/desire, sexual or romantic)

I just tell him "I don't really have a boyfriend right now, and I'm not really looking for one either. I'm pretty happy with being single."

He is predictably confused/shocked. "You mean you're just by yourself, not even looking for a relationship at all?"

"Yeah, pretty much." is all I say, silently hoping the topic changes.

"I bet that's really tough, choosing to stay single like that."

I try not to roll my eyes and just respond with "its really not. I don't want or need to be in a relationship to be happy. I'm perfectly comfortable by myself, and I never really felt the desire to be in a relationship anyway. I've never wanted to date before and I don't really plan to start dating anytime soon, and im happy like this."

Yall. This man. He starts going on about how much more mature I am compared to my peers for the choice to remain single, about how much of a good decision it is for me to not want to date because of how complicated dating can get and just generally spends life the next five minutes praising my "choice"

(It's really not a choice for me at all. I'm very socially awkward, don't know many people I'd want to date, and don't even experience the attraction/desire to even be in a relationship)

Idk, this all just got me thinking again

[gayalanwake]

beavis and butt-head means so much to me as a show because it so perfectly encapsulates being a queer autistic kid in the beaten-down rural south. you’re dirty and you’re disgusting and your knees are dark from all the scars and you eat grasshoppers for fun. your mom doesn’t like you and neither do your peers or that dumb crush of yours. but there’s this one kid that does. or at least you hope they do. you don’t remember when you met or what’s even keeping you two together. perhaps it’s that polluted and infected texas air. your mom doesn’t like you and she doesn’t like your friend either. she tells you they ain’t no good. she screams at you that they ain’t no good. the pastor screams at you about how nobody ain’t no good. but you stick with them anyways- god and that friend of yours- not that you know why. you can’t even remember the last time either of you had a conversation. the cows behind your house are crying and the crickets are shrilling out of tune and the wednesday night church group is all going home at the same time and their car lights are hitting your eyes. but, albeit quiet, they’re there. your person. god. and you’re watching the sun go down.

[brybryby]

Hi hi! So I’ve been outlining a Video Essay to inspect Outlast’s portrayal of the relationship between US capitalism and queerness (along with immigration/xenophobia due to Trials coming up) and…

…I was initially going to keep it private within my IG circle, but after spending hours searching up academic articles and master’s theses discussing heteronormativity and social theory—as well as revisiting textbooks from the few philosophy and gender/racial studies courses I took from university—I’ve decided that I’d like to share here also!

It’s in the process, but I want to put a lot of care into it since JT Petty’s writing is incredibly interesting to me, while also dissecting the material from a brown, queer perspective and being someone who was born/raised in the US from a family of immigrants. (I’m not trying to push an “agenda”, but I think my background is a pretty good reflection of where my values lie lol). Another reason I’m putting a lot of care into this is because I understand that the franchise’s narratives and stories get into intensely heavy topics/themes, and it would pain me if I were to misinterpret and/or cast certain plots in such a way that is unfair, ignorant, harmful, and overall awful.

Because of this, I’d like to open up this post and my DMs to any constructive conversation surrounding these themes in the games/comics! I’ll be posting questions & argument points gradually so feel free to wait to discuss in the specifics in those.

A huge reason I’m doing this is because a lot of people who know me irl know I hyperfixate on this franchise, and I fear that their surface level interpretation of that would just be chalked up to me liking/endorsing f-ed up stuff (which I adamantly say is NOT the case—I think we all know that a dissection of horrors and traumatic events can be therapeutic and empowering). With the video essay, I want to explain that my hyperfixation is related to the nuanced themes in the narratives, especially regarding gender/queerness and social theory.

Plus it’s been a while since I’ve written something in an academic-style with citations, peer analysis, etc.! I forget how enriching it can be.

I’ll admit that I’m not a very opinionated person (and I think I tend to error on being critical of my own opinions). My ultimate goal here is to spread empathy and share a wide variety of perspectives from many backgrounds. Additionally, I respect JT Petty for being so daring to tackle heavy/“taboo” themes in film, cinema, etc. and I want to show my appreciation. I’m not necessarily endorsing anything—instead, I’d like to understand the stories as an art, understand it’s intentions, and inspect how it affects different communities.

Plus I think this video essay process will be fun! Idk, I hope this doesn’t come off as self-righteous or anything LOL—or maybe it does so please make fun of me, I need to be humbled.

Alrighty, thanks y’all. Hope you have a fantastic rest of your day/night!

[papercranesandpride]

It's so beautiful that there are no rules for any identity. You can be literally anything and still feel any way. Like, yes, I'm a loveless aplatonic, and also I think for me and my life, John Green was 100% right when he said that the meaning of life is other people. That's only a contradiction if you think that the main way to have relationships with other people is friendship and the main way to appreciate people is love. But other people includes my patients at work, and the people I interact with in passing on here, and yes, the people who to alloplatonics I seem to have normal friendships with but in reality I don't have the friend feelings towards them and try to avoid referring to them as such. I can certainly enjoy their company and being with them and talking to them without feeling love.

It's just. It is so lovely and liberating to get to enjoy people and socializing on my own terms, with the language and relationships that make sense to me. Knowing I'm aplatonic and loveless has allowed me to be more social because now I understand the ways in which I prefer to do it. I don't feel the need to try and make actual friendships when what I really want is just to get to socialize. It's easier to appreciate other humans when I know that I'm not going to feel certain things for them, so instead of trying to judge the relationship on whether I love them, I evaluate it based on how much talking to any given person makes me happy, something that is so much more common for me.

It just makes so much more sense that way. That's why my conversations with patients are just as meaningful to me as those with my friends. It's not about the relationship. It's not about the person I'm talking to knowing me intimately or me knowing them. It's just about how well the conversation flows and how interesting and pleasant and funny it is. It doesn't matter that they don't know the details of my inner life and I can't begin to know or understand half the things they've lived through. All that matters is that I've got the kind of personality that meshes extremely well with old ladies and so things flow well and it's just. Pleasant. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are still a lot of things those conversations don't provide that conversations with peers do. I can't talk to them about queerness, or schizophrenia, or whatever fanfic I'm writing in my head. So having more traditional friendships are certainly useful and have their place. It's just that I don't actually see those conversations and relationships as any deeper or more meaningful or just more. A lot like the aromantic frustration at the phrase "more than friends," I don't really see being friends as more than anything, either.

That was one of the things that made it immediately make sense the second I asked myself "wait, am I aplatonic?" I hadn't talked to any friends in a good while and I didn't actually care because I still felt socially fulfilled just from my interaction with patients at work.

Anyway. I have no point. These are just some thoughts that have been bouncing in my head now that I'm on day shift so I have a lot more patient interaction than I did when I worked nights. So I've been thinking about what that means to me.