#the velocipastor

[bird-surveillance-machine]

original image

[anouchard]

Thank you so much to everyone who came along to watch 'The Velocipastor' with Alex and me yesterday! It was so lovely to meet you all, hear your stories, and share in such a cursed experience with you.

Thank you also to everyone who brought such wonderful gifts, including this little guy right here. I will treasure them (and every memory from the entire event) forever. ❤️

[haveyouseenthismovie-poll]

[mourningmaybells]

did The VelociPastor mean nothing to you people.

[styrofoamdoor]

the little gay people in my phone are getting out of hand. what are they even saying anymore. why are they talking about a priest turned dinosaur

[snaileo]

we watched The VelociPastor tonight

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

And this is precisely why I shouldn't have art tools

If I'm stressed? I make memes. If I meme I meme FUCKING HARD!

Thank you to HeroForge for the chaotic access to pro and kitbashing, and of course thank you to the wonderful creators of this absolute damn cult classic film! <3

[midigan]

Saw a trailer for a movie called "The Velocipas✝or" recently, so why not.

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 4 - Catholic Character Tournament

Jason art credit @Reincao

Propaganda below ⬇️

Jason

Okay it's cannon but like in an alternative universe because Comics. I just think the fact DC made Known Murderer and Reblious Teen with Daddy Issues a Catholic priest in a different universe. Just. Casually.

Jason Todd is may or may not be Catholic in the main timeline of DC Comics, but I the Flashpoint storyline, my man is a priest! He was a drug addict, thief, and in the Blood Brother cult before dying, only to come back to life and decide to become a priest in the hellhole that is Gotham. In the main timeline, he comes back after dying and stuffs a duffel bags full of heads! The common trait before all Jason Todds is that they all have to be as dramatic as possible. Dying and coming back as the most unexpected thing. Unbelievable. I love this man.

Doug

I know the movie is called VelociPastor but he's actually a Roman Catholic priest and a velociraptor too.

Please watch velocipastor. I don't think I could describe it if I tried.

Doug is canonically a Roman Catholic priest who is questioning his religion after his parents die.

He turns into a velociraptor and decides to fight crime. I don’t wanna spoil it but the movie is batshit insane

[snalsupremacy]

Ah yes, Steel Ball Run, or as I like to call it: The second greatest piece of media to include both Dinosaurs and Jesus Christ, right after this masterpiece

[heresylog]

can the velocipastor take communion

I haven’t seen the movie but he’s not Catholic so 🥶

[lgbt-cishet-movie-tournament]

How is it cishet media?

VP: Cishet romance good vs evil plot AND the main character is a priest. The movie I'm talking about is The Velocipastor (2018) of course

PotCCoTBP: cishet bc it's abt elizabeth swann desperate for man ass

How is it lgbt?

VP: It's camp to me. The only sex scene is a montage of the main characters (a sex worker and titular velocipastor) bonding over the course of the movie. MAJOR FLASH WARNING but you can find it here https://youtu.be/Wp9hcCFEgOw . It's a low budget film (some of the FX is literally just text on a screen telling you what's there) where you can tell everyone involved is having fun with it and it's one of my favorite things ever. I've heard white gay people on tumblr love subverting christian imagery soooo there's that too

PotCCoTBP: pirates of the caribbean is lgbt bc elizabeth swann has genderful swag and will has beautiful puppydog eyes and jack sparrow for all his numerous flaws is getting real faggy with it

VP Propaganda:

[imnothawkdevil]

[nattule29]

I finally got that silly little Jwct dream and this time it was about Brooklynn

So in this dream Brooklynn was captured by this secret high tech military which looks like the base on pandora that the people hang out in the first movie. Brooklynn is hand cuffed and being imprisoned. She kinda looks like a mix of the raptor lady and Soyona, anyway she looks dangerous and cold the raptor’s are in a truck behind her also imprisoned. The military people are yapping about her crimes or whatever and before they put her in a cell she screams “you’ll never get away with this!”

This is where things get a little dark. A lady who looks like a nurse of some kind and a military soldier who seems like he’s a newbie are chatting and having a nice lunch the two seem really close and look like they like each other. A alarm goes off and red lights fill the hallway out side the lunch room. The guy goes out to see what’s going on, he says something like “stay right here I’ll be back” after like a minute there are very graphic blood curdling screams and gun shots with the sound of a whistle

The nurse went to check it out. She gets brutally mauled by the raptors (It was pretty Graphic in my dream…) and at the end Brooklynn is holding the laser while having the whistle around her neck. All four raptors were around her, she started walking down the hall to do something but I woke up before I could see.

I would think Brooklynn killed soyona and the handler I also wanna think raptormoms and lab partners were involved.

[mourningmaybells]

I've always loved the way they loved

[anouchard]

I just finished watching The Velocipastor in preparation for this.

I have no words, but plenty of notes.

Looking forward to seeing y'all there!

🦖