#ik it means nothing but i think it’s weird to think about

[screwitbaby]

naive

hamzahthefantastic x reader (fic)

day 5/7

summary: part 5 of the naive series baby!! you and mandy get some one on one time bc she’s going thru it until she sends you and hamzah off on an adventure of ur own ;)

contains: SFW and NSFW content… it’s going down.

w/c: 3.4k-ish

a/n: ik yall hate me atp but listen. listen. uhhh.. yk what just read it!

~

Hotel breakfast is really good. It's even better when you can be an annoying vacationer and sit in the dining hall to eat while wearing your pajamas. The dirty looks from the well-dressed staff does nothing to deter you from going to town on a plate of scrambled eggs and toast with assorted spreads. The one thing that is ruining your appetite, however, is your gloomy friend prodding her food with her fork.

"Are you sure you're okay?" you ask for what feels like the hundredth time that morning.

"Mhm."

Mandy continues moving her eggs around her plate and never taking a bite. She's been in a near catatonic state since last night. By the time you'd taken a shower and gotten unready, she'd already passed out in your bed without so much as an explanation as to what happened. You exhale loudly and she looks up.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

She drops her fork. "I think Martin is hiding something from me."

"Oh!" Your eyes widen and you try to look confused. "What makes you think that?"

"He's been acting so weird," she says, resting her elbows on the table and holding her head in her hands. "Even before we came on this trip... I don't know. Something's off."

"What d'you mean?"

"He's being so secretive," she says. "I don't have proof of anything, but he's, like, really bad at acting innocent."

"Is that why you guys have been fighting?"

"Well, I don't exactly want to fight with him!" She tosses her hands in the air. "I wish he'd come out and say whatever it is. It drives me crazy that he acts like nothing is going on."

In that moment, you consider blurting out the truth. Talking about Martin's proposal idea would be so much easier than sitting back and watching the couple get into trivial arguments from Mandy's growing paranoia. But alas, you've sworn to secrecy and you really don't think it would be your place to ruin the surprise, even at a time like this.

"Have you asked him about it?"

"Yeah. He just deflects. I thought I could get him to talk last night, but I ended up crying because I got so frustrated with his cryptic bullshit."

You're stuck on what to say. It breaks your heart to see Mandy like this, but there's not much you can do without giving away her soon-to-be fiancé's plan. It's not exactly a conversation you thought you'd be having to mediate.

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't think Martin is doing all of this to deliberately hurt you," you say, reaching across the table to hold her arm. "He loves you. A lot. He's just an idiot sometimes."

Mandy smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Thank you."

"I mean it, Mandy. What you guys have is really good. Don't let a bump in the road ruin the rest of the journey."

"When did you become such a beacon of wisdom?" she asks sarcastically, looking down at the table.

"I'm trying my best here. Be grateful." You begin to laugh and she joins in.

You bring your plate back in front of you and gesture for her to do the same. The two of you chow down and talk between bites, discussing what other places you could visit before your inevitable departure from Curaçao. Despite the challenges, it's been an experience for the books and you take a moment to reflect on the joy that it's brought you.

As you take a sip of your tea, your phone buzzes in your pocket. When you unlock it, you open up the message notification and bite your lip to hide your smile.

i see u

"Is that Hamzah?"

You look up at Mandy and your face flushes. "Huh?"

"You remind me of when I first started talking to Martin." Mandy points at you with her knife.

"Shut up," you groan. "Is it really that obvious?"

"Yeah." Mandy nods. "Plus I saw his name on your screen."

You glare at her and she giggles at your expense. Over her shoulder, you spot him. He's in the buffet line, also in his pajamas, and you stare for a little too long at his grey sweatpants. When he turns his head in your direction, you duck behind Mandy's figure.

"He's coming." You use your phone camera to quickly assess your face. "I look rough. Fuck."

"Girl, you look fine," Mandy says, rolling her eyes, "and you've literally slept next to each other. It's nothing he hasn't seen before."

"Wow, uplifting. Thanks."

When you dare to raise your head again, he's making his final few strides towards your table. You smile and wave, and he attempts to do the same. He shakes his hand that's holding a cup of coffee and it sloshes around, nearly spilling all over him. Mandy gives you a funny look before greeting him.

"Good morning," Hamzah says cheerily.

He places his plate and cup next to yours. You scoot over so he can sit down, but he moves to sit so close to you that the sides of your thighs are pressed up against each other.

"Good morning," you reply, slightly taken aback by his chipper mood. "Sleep well?"

"I slept great," he says. He takes a bite of his eggs with bacon and looks between you and Mandy. "So... was it a breakup?"

You slap him on the arm and scoff. "Come on."

"'M just asking!" he all but shouts, earning the three of you a couple more dirty looks. "Last night looked serious."

"No, we didn't break up," Mandy mutters. "But I'm considering it if it means not having to deal with you anymore."

"That's mean," Hamzah says, taking another bite of his food. "I'd stay friends with you if I broke up with Martin."

"Don't talk while you're chewing," Mandy warns.

"Thorry." He swallows his mouthful. "So what are we supposed to do if you guys are still fighting?"

"I don't know, Hamzah." Mandy sighs. Then she looks at you. "I don't really feel like going out today. Maybe you two could do something."

Your eyes narrow and she shrugs innocently. "Where would we go?"

"Google some nice places. Walk around the city. It can't be that hard."

"I'm down," Hamzah says. "I'm in charge of directions, though."

He smiles mischievously and you mock him, making him laugh. You turn to Mandy, noting the way she's picking at her food again.

"Will you be okay? You can stay in my room, but I don't know what time we'll be back."

"There's free WiFi and room service. I'll be fine. Go have fun."

Mandy was right. Finding something to do in such a tourism-centered area isn't hard. The difficult part is spending time with Hamzah with no social buffer to avert the tension between the two of you. You hope it's not too apparent that you're staring at him every chance you get, but you can't find it in you to care about getting caught anymore.

"Now we go left," he mumbles, placing his hand on your shoulder to direct you to the crosswalk.

You know he tends to be touchy with his friends, but with how awkward he usually is about it, this feels different. Even when you hung out as a group back in Toronto, you could always sense that Hamzah was a little more hesitant around you. You chocked it up to not knowing him that well, despite having mutuals. Being close with each others' friends did provide an entry point for your friendship to blossom, but this trip has done more for your connection than all the time you've known him previously. Maybe it's because you're in such constant, close proximity now that your initial attraction to him has finally taken shape, unavoidably so.

"Alright, it's down from here," Hamzah says, gesturing at the beach you're nearing.

"I didn't bring a swimsuit," you say, furrowing your brows.

"We're not swimming." He shakes his head. "Over there."

You look to where he's pointing and take notice of the mountainous landscape surrounding the beach. Their overarching coves reach the edges of the shore where the waves splash against the rocks.

"I'm not cliff diving. No way."

You stop in place and cross your arms. He turns and walks a few steps back to you.

"We're not doing that either, my gosh," he grumbles playfully and takes hold of your hand, "follow me."

Hamzah leads you through the sand to the bottom of the ridges. This beach isn't nearly as busy as the one near your hotel, so the silent walk with your palm in his feels all the more intimate. The sun is less harsh under the arch, but the sand is still warm beneath your feet. The soft earth easily gives way as you take a seat in the deeper parts of the rocky expanse.

"How'd you know this was here?" you wonder.

"I found it before the trip," he says, stretching his legs out in front of him until the waves are barely licking at his skin. "I didn't think I'd get the chance to visit, though."

"Guess it's a good thing for the fight then," you joke. Hamzah looks at you with his face scrunched up and you share a laugh. "Sorry. Too soon."

You stare out at the horizon, absentmindedly cupping the sand and letting it pour down between your fingers. The waves are crashing, but there's a quiet serenity inside of the cove that makes you feel at peace.

"Nah, I just think we talk about them enough, right?" He leans back to rest his weight on his palms and your eyes flicker to the sight of his shirt stretching across his pecs. "Wanna talk about us."

"Right," you agree. "I never really expected this."

"What?" he asks. You become aware of how close his body is to yours.

"'Us.'" You make quotes in the air with your fingers. "I didn't even think you saw me that way."

"Really?" he questions, tilting his head. "I thought the same thing."

"Hm. Funny."

You move to lay on your back. You'd decided against changing out of your pajamas—the two of you look infinitely more out of place in such beautiful scenery—but it makes for great cushioning against the ground. Hamzah stays unmoving, looking straight ahead.

"Do you see us being the same way? When we go back home?" He speaks outwardly, eyes on the view.

"I don't know. Do you?"

"You answer first," he says, smiling at you from over his shoulder.

You roll your eyes and try to push yourself further into the sand, as if it'll provide a protective barrier between him and the words you're going to say next.

"I hope so," you answer honestly. "I don't see why it’d change."

"What if it doesn't feel the same?" he asks like he's talking to the sky. "What if it's just because we're here, y'know? Isn't it usually a 'what happens in Vegas' thing?"

"Oh, so you've done this before?"

Hamzah groans and you snicker, flicking sand into his pocket. He doesn't notice so you continue until it's full, giggling to yourself.

"Of course not," he says, shaking his head. Some of the sand trickles out. "I guess what I'm saying is...I hope you don't feel that way."

You take a deep breath to calm the butterflies that erupt in your belly and sit up. You look at the impression your body has left in the sand before turning to completely face him, criss-crossing your legs.

"I won't," you promise. "I couldn't."

"Good." Hamzah's eyes finally meet yours. "I don't think I'd be able to handle it."

You grin and let your fingers trail up the side of his neck, not wanting to hold your affection back any longer. He closes his eyes as you trace his cheek, the charming acne scars and slight stubble on his jaw acting as a roadmap for your fingertips. Then, you cup his chin and lean in. His lips move softly against yours. He places his hands on your thighs and runs his fingers across your bare skin where your shorts have ridden up. It's almost like the whole world goes on mute, and all you can possibly focus on is the way his touch awakens every cell in your body.

Without breaking the kiss, Hamzah pushes you down into the indented sand until he can comfortably slot himself in the middle of your legs. He holds himself up with a hand by your head, the other resting on your waist. The gentle caresses turn heated, and pretty soon the two of you are full-on making out, pulling each other closer and closer until his body fully surrounds yours. You love how he hums when you wrap your arms tighter around his neck and run your nails across his shoulders.

You can't get enough of him, holding his hips in place with your knees as your tongues entwine. When his hand strays below your hoodie, you pull away momentarily to slip it over your head. He helps tug it off you when it gets stuck, the two of you giggling quietly before tossing it away and locking lips again. His fingers trace a path up your torso, clad in nothing but a thin tank top. His palms slowly find their way higher up, and you moan when he gives your chest a testing squeeze. Upon hearing this, he squeezes again before running his thumb across your nipple, making you shiver.

His hoodie comes off soon thereafter, except he's completely bare underneath. You run your hands down his chest and his stomach clenches under the ghost of your touch. When you reach the edge of his boxers, he breaks apart to leave kisses from your cheek down to your neck.

"I-I didn't really prepare for this," Hamzah whispers against you.

"You didn't shave?"

"No, idiot," he scoffs, making both of you giggle giddily. "I, um, didn't bring condoms..."

You breathe out as he continues kissing your skin. "That's fine. We don't have to do anything."

Your fingers are tucked in his waistband against his happy trail, but you make no effort to move them. If it wasn't evident already, his erection presses against you painfully, a reminder of how close yet so far you are from what you're craving. Still, he seems determined to make the most of the moment. He sucks on the spot below your ear, making your mouth drop open in a breathy moan.

In a hasty decision, you take your tank top off and lay back down. Hamzah's eyes follow along your newly exposed skin and he leans down to kiss a trail from your collarbone to the valley between your breasts. His hands leave a wake of heat everywhere he touches you, yet goosebumps rise on your arms when his lips reach your lower stomach.

"Can I?"

He looks up at you, his eyes half-lidded and his hands on your shorts. You nod and raise your hips so he can pull them off. When he sees your underwear, he raises an eyebrow.

"You wear boxers, too?" Hamzah jokes, tugging on your waistband and letting it snap against your skin. You flinch and he laughs.

"They're comfy!" you defend, blushing. "I wasn't exactly planning for this, either."

"I'm kidding. Why would I care?" He leans up on his forearms to peck your lips. "They're coming off, anyway."

He reaches under your final layer of clothing and you gasp when he touches you where you need him most. His lips part as he dips into your wetness, bringing it up to circle your clit deliciously. You grasp his bicep and your other hand holds the back of his head as he continues his delightful assault on your throat.

When you feel his fingers inch into you, your hips jut forward. He whispers praises in your ear as he fucks his fingers into you, first slowly then relentlessly. You can't contain your moans. Your fingers tug at his curls lightly when you feel the knot in your stomach forming. All too suddenly, he pulls his hand out of your underwear and you whine.

"As much as I like 'em, they gotta go," Hamzah says, leaving one final kiss on your jaw before dragging your boxers down your hips.

He flings them aside and you breathe heavily as he descends to your lower body, situating his head between your legs. He plants kisses on the inside of your thigh teasingly, dipping his head down only to start back at the top with the other thigh until he has you squirming under his grip. Just when you think you've reached your limit, he bites at the swell of your thigh and connects his mouth to your core. Your lungs spasm as you feel his tongue flick your clit, struggling to catch your breath at the surreal sensation.

He sucks on your bud and has you a complete mess of moans under him. Loosening his grip from your thigh, he makes eye contact with you as he brings his hand back to your center and his fingers penetrate you steadily. Your back arches and he groans when you clutch at his hair. He suctions his lips, watching every reaction and noise you emit without once coming up for air. It's a dizzying sight, and your head lolls to the side as your moans get louder. He works harder, curling his fingers, toying with you in all the right ways to make you fall apart.

"Just like that," you cry out, "Hamzah, please."

You're panting at this point, yearning for a release that's sure to send you reeling.

"C'mon, baby," he murmurs. "Cum for me."

The quickening of his pace has you clenching around his fingers, and as soon as he speaks those words, you screw your eyes shut and let your climax overtake you. Your jaw slackens and you throw your head back. Your legs shake uncontrollably as you call his name out in broken gasps while you ride out your high. The scent of saltwater and moss fills your nostrils, and all at once your vision clears when he lightly kisses your sensitivity. You sharply inhale and white-knuckle the sand below you. Your other hand wraps around the side of his neck to hoist him back up so you can be face-to-face.

Hamzah's arms cage you in and you pull him down to lock lips. He tastes sweet. Then, he rolls the two of you over so you're sitting in his lap while he lays flat.

"All good?" he asks, holding your cheek.

"Perfect."

You lean in to kiss him again, propping your hands on his chest. Teasingly, you grind your hips against his and he groans.

"Stop," Hamzah grunts. "I don't wanna cum in my pants."

The friction makes you shudder, but feeling how hard he is makes you not want to stop. You laugh and do it again, making him squeeze your hips. He halts your movements and grins, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

"That's it."

Without warning, he sits up and you wrap your legs around him, latching onto him like a koala as he stands straight. The swift switch in positions makes you squeal. His palms cup your ass as he walks out from underneath the cove.

"What're you doing?!" you screech, clutching him as tight as you can.

"I asked nicely and you didn't listen!"

He cackles maniacally as he wades deeper into the water. When you're up to your hips in the waves, he turns backwards and sends the both of you plunging into the ocean. In an instant, you're soaked to your bones and springing up to the surface.

"You bitch!" you nearly scream as he re-emerges beside you. "I'm butt-ass naked!"

"No one's here, don't worry," he says, wrapping his arms around you from behind. "Look. Just us."

Hamzah lifts you in the water and swings you around to show you the entirety of the vacant beach. He's laughing above you while you smack his arms to let you go.

"Okay, I get it! Put me down."

You plummet into the depths once more.

~

a/n: sorry to disappoint w the lateness again this would’ve been updated sooner if california didn’t literally go up in flames around me and half my roof tiles got ripped off my house from the crazy ass wind (another one flew off as i typed this). also my dumbass friend deleted tiktok off his phone and we lost our 231 day streak bc he can’t get it back no matter what we tried. also elon did the hitler salute?????? what is going on. anyways lmk if u enjoyed or want me to rot for eternity <3 love yall sm

[woahiexist123]

So like ik p863 is done buttttt im pretty sure that the absolute date is tomorrow. Do what you will with that information 👍

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[aptericia]

maybe this a strange thing to get hung up on but like. I can’t be the only one who subconsciously texts my friends a bit more professionally after writing a long email to my professor. Or whose internal monologue temporarily changes to sound like that YouTuber I just binged for 3 hours. Or who acts a little more excited and dramatic after watching an action movie. It’s normal to pick up patterns from other people and situations, right?? Why do my friends act so surpised when I start acting more like them, or tell me I “shouldn’t change who I am”? Like buddy. In NO social interaction am I presenting the Real Me. And besides that, you’re an important part of my life—why would it be so weird to be influenced by you? I don’t like being thought of as Weird or Not Genuine just because I do something differently from your previous expectations of me.

[violentlydefending]

genuinely always so shocked to see mirei hate. like literally god forbid women do anything.

[toytulini]

you know whats more annoying than dems calling vance and trump weird is all the condescending posts justifying it actually. like im a bit annoyed about "weird" being used this way but also like man if it fucking works i guess

but do i have to keep seeing daily posts exhaustively justifying how normie midwesterners use weird different or whatever the fuck man just shut up and call them weird then, stop justifying it to me

[greg-montgomery]

Y/N and Hotch meet at a bar durin one of the team’s outings and hook up but never get each other’s numbers and they both regret not exchangin contact info

Some time later and guess who shows up to his door with their arm around his son’s?? LMAOOO

The tension would go CRAZY ik it 😩😵‍💫

hiii, i'm posting a fic after a million yearsss <333 i hope you're all still here lmfao ilysm!!

nsfw-minors dni

wc: 1.3k

tags: aaron hotchner x fem!reader, boyfriend's dad!hotch, one night stand, lowkey angsty idk?? oh and his son is not jack in this bc it’d be weird 😭

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Mr. Hotchner.

That name was travelling around your brain all day.

Not only was he your boyfriend’s father, he was also an FBI agent. Meeting parents was already stressful enough – but no – your man's dad had to have the most intimidating job on the planet on top of it.

Your phone buzzed, and you blinked as a message flashed across your screen.

Nick: “I’ll pick you up at 7. Love you.”

You let out a sigh, staring at your closet. “Let’s see what we’re gonna wear to impress you tonight, Mr. Hotchner.”

--

“Why are you so nervous?”

“I don’t know!”

You truly didn’t. Something about all the descriptions of his father made you feel like there was a knot in your stomach.

“Just be yourself,” Nick said, and smoothed out your dress for you. Maybe he was just as worried about the impression you’d make to his dad.

“How original. Thanks.” You rolled your eyes.

“Okay now, stop being mean and knock.”

If only you had a time machine to warn yourself for what was about to happen. Because nothing could have prepared you for what was behind that door: tall, handsome, intimidating, and the best sex you’d ever had.

It was only four months ago that this man, your own boyfriend’s father, was inside you.

He licked his bottom lip while staring at yours. “I never do this.”

Did he think that you would judge him? On second thought though, looking into his eyes you realized he didn’t say it to explain himself, but to help you realize you were a special case.

And he succeeded.

“Me neither,” you admitted.

The next second you were pushed against the wall; his hard cock pressing against your bodies and his mouth on yours.

“Well…this is she,” Nick announced, his hand against your back urging you to move closer to his dad.

He reached out his hand for a handshake. “Hotchner. Aaron Hotchner.”

Aaron. It suit him.

“Nice to meet you,” you said, your voice weak.

“Nice to meet you, too. Come inside.”

How could he be so calm? Did he not recognize you?

That night had changed your life, and he didn’t fucking remember you?

Well, it seemed like he really didn’t.

You were practically shaking under his gaze, but he moved around like nothing strange was going on. He asked you questions, like what you did for a living and if you had any pets. He served the food he had prepared; god he was perfect - weak memory aside, of course. And made conversation like any father would with his future daughter in law.

Maybe you were going crazy. Maybe it wasn’t him.

But then he made that movement. That same movement he kept making when he was talking with his friends that night at the bar; when he had caught you staring…when you had caught him staring too.

Running his thumb over his knuckles.

It was him.

“Fuck,” he whispered between your kisses. “Do you know what you do to me?”

“I can feel it,” you said and moved your hand to cup his erection. His hot breath against your neck urged you to keep moving, slipping your hand on the inside of his boxers. “Can’t wait to feel it in me too.”

“Turn around.”

Without a need to be told twice, you did as he said. He pushed your skirt up, and pulled down your panties harshly.

His free hand grabbed your hair in his fist and pulled it, pressing your face against the wall to steady you. You had never felt dirtier.

“I don’t even know your name,” you said.

He moved closer, kissing the spot behind your ear. “You like that?” he asked, his hand grabbing your ass, and then slowly moving it across your thigh.

His fingers finally found their way between your legs, and you were thankful for the loud music ‘cause there was no way to keep quiet when he started rubbing your aching clit.

“Oh, you like it,” he answered his own question. “Like being touched by a stranger.”

“Fuck…”

“You’re so fucking wet, baby,” he moaned, two fingers of his entering your pussy.

“Please fuck me,” you whined. Your mind was clouded. There was no way you were that desperate, that you were begging a man you didn’t know for his dick.

He moved his fingers slowly, hitting all the right spots. “And what if I left you here, baby, hm?” he whispered in your ear. You moved your ass against him to match his movements, as he grinded himself on you. “What if I stopped touching you and walked away?”

“No…Please...”

You could hear him unbuckling his belt, and you grinned. And the next second you knew what heaven felt like.

“Baby?”

Your boyfriend’s voice snapped you out of our thoughts. Thank God.

“Sorry. I was thinking about work and zoned out.”

You dared to lift your eyes, only to find Aaron smirking.

He knew.

“My dad was asking you about the wine you brought.”

“Oh. Yeah…I got it from a store near my house, they have really quality-” As you tried to lift your glass and take a sip from the wine you were talking about, a clumsy move of yours had it spilling on your dress. “Shit!”

Nick rushed to clean you up with a napkin but you stopped him, gently placing your hand on his. “Honey, you’re gonna ruin the fabric, it’s okay.”

“Let me get you something old of mine to change at least.”  

“I don’t wanna be trouble.”

“Stop it,” he said softly and kissed your forehead.

You caught Aaron’s intense stare with the corner of your eye.

Once your boyfriend ran upstairs to search through his old bedroom for clothes, it was finally just you and him.

“I’ve heard dish soap helps.”

You smiled. “Does it?”

He hit his hand on the table while standing up, urging you to follow him. “Let’s test it out.”

You followed him to the kitchen and observed him as he grabbed a towel and poured the soap on it. His shoulders were as broad as you remembered. The marks your nails had left on them had definitely faded by now, but they were there once.

“Let’s see…” he said, as he approached you.

He started rubbing the dirty spot of your dress, right below your belly with the towel. The closeness, his cologne, the feeling of his breath on you, teleported you back to that night…to that bar.

“You okay?”

“No.”

Aaron was taken aback from your honest answer, freezing.

His eyes softened when he looked into yours. A sigh escaped from his lips and he spoke again. “What a coincidence, huh?”

“Yeah…”

“Hey,” he said, and caught your chin between his fingers to maintain eye contact. “It’s alright. This won’t be a problem, I can forget about it.”

“I can’t.”

His thumb moved from your chin, and started tracing your lips; his eyes following along with it. He took a deep breath again, closing his eyes. “He’s my son.”

“I know.”

“Found an old sweater and sweatpants.” Nick’s voice coming from the living room broke the tension.

“Thank you, baby!” you said as cheerfully as you could, pulling away from Aaron’s touch and running to your boyfriend.

“I see my son’s been treating you like a princess,” Aaron said, walking behind you.

“I have no complaints.”

“Good.” He turned to his son and pointed a finger at him. “Or someone else might steal her away.”

‘Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Mr. Hotchner,’ you thought, and judging from the smile Aaron gave you, he had read your mind.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

yeah

but theres a difference between making angst where it just doesnt exist (example being making kusuos parents out to be abusive and awful. i think this comes from making this exact mistake of taking little gags that actually mean little to nothing and trying to make a bigger picture out of it that just isnt there) and just. writing about the angst in saiki k.

im mostly talking about people who just say this for either no clear reason or in the context of anyone who writes angst about tdlosk, "saiki k is nothing more than a gag manga," cuz like i said, this just. is objectively not true. ive seen people literally try to erase akechi and kusuke from existence because their entire presence in the story is a reminder of something sad in kusuos life

tbh i hate when people are like "idk how anyone makes angst or gets serious topics out of saiki k when its literally just a gag manga🤓" when the akechi arc, the cattank arc, the volcano arc, and literally every episode where he feels guilty about hiding his powers all exist????

[wheeboo]

laundry day | hansol vernon chwe

SYNOPSIS. in which it's laundry day and you're in a bit of an embarrassing predicament. PAIRING. hansol vernon chwe x gn!reader (however, sorta implied that reader is more leaning toward fem) GENRE. fluff, humour?, best friends/roommates to lovers WARNINGS. cursing, vernon is checking reader out lowkey, reader embarrassingly wears hello kitty underwear i don't make the rules, ik vernon is mainly chill but in this they bicker <3, this was very stupid n silly lmfao WORD COUNT. 1.6k

requested from @weird-bookworm: lemme be annoying already— noni + #16 and #59 from list 1!! - #16: "You hugged me like your personal pillow." - #59: "Laundry day doesn’t mean walking around in your underwear, but for you, I’ll make an exception."

notes: i'm never good with writing humour but i thought of this stupid scenario and idk how i feel BYEE (cuz ur girl lowkey struggled on figuring out how to put #59 in the story lmao) tysm for submitting this in sky <3 and ty @bananabubble for reading it over for me!

join the 2k celebration!

You are so stupid.

So fucking stupid.

How could you let yourself get carried away in loading all your laundry that you forgot to save a pair of pants to wear in the meantime?

You replay everything in your head: your overflowing, neglected laundry basket, the utter satisfaction you felt after loading it... right up until the moment you realised every single pair of pants you own was now basically swimming around in a goddamn whirlpool, and now you're left sporting nothing but your underwear and a shirt that didn't offer much coverage than expected.

You let out an annoyed groan, burying your face into your hands and mentally slapping yourself in the face. The chill of your room sends a trail of goosebumps running up the exposed skin of your legs. There really was nothing you could do but wait for your laundry to finish.

Then your head shoots back up, and maybe your bedroom lights up a bit brighter at your metaphorical lightbulb moment, because you think of Vernon. He's the only other option you have.

Tip-toeing up to your closed door, a bit of hesitancy gnaws at you for being so dumb, before you yell out, "Vernon!"

He's probably in the living room right now𑁋you can overhear the faint music of the record player the two of you snagged at this vintage thrift store the other week. A very good and lucky find, nonetheless.

Taking another (and maybe regrettable) deep breath, you call out again, a little louder this time. "Vernon! Can you hear me?"

The music seems to dip down slightly, and after a moment, the record stops spinning, replaced by the sound of footsteps approaching the door. You brace yourself for the door to swing open to reveal the embarrassing state you're in right now, but it doesn't.

Instead, you hear Vernon's voice respond to you through the door, "Yeah?"

"Uh..." You bite your lip because you can't believe you're about to ask this. "Do you have, um... a pair of pants or shorts I can borrow? I'll give it back to you tomorrow."

For a moment you think he didn't hear you because it's completely silent on the other side of the door, and it does absolutely nothing at calming down your racing heart. You see, you probably should be fine with walking around in your underwear with Vernon because he's your best friend and roommate and he definitely would not judge at all, but it's simply not that simple𑁋

"Did you, like, spill Monster on yourself again?" Vernon asks casually, as if it was the most normal thing in the world that you would do (it's happened one too many times).

"Yes, I mean, no, I mean𑁋look, just fetch me a pair and I'll bring it back to you later?"

"Uh, yeah, about that..." He pauses. "I'm wearing my only pair right now since you loaded yours first."

You really should've considered that being best friends with Vernon meant collectively sharing the brain cell of procrastinating when it comes to doing your laundry. Great, just absolutely fantastic. This was very much how you wanted your day to go. Perhaps this is why you're best friends, after all.

"Well, shit," You murmur, more to yourself but Vernon hears it anyway.

"Look, I'm sure it's not that bad, right?" Does he seriously still think you spilled Monster on yourself? "You could probably just𑁋"

You can hardly act by the time the doorknob twists and Vernon peeks his head around the door. But the second he catches sight of you, his eyes flicker over you, before he quickly averts his gaze to the Radiohead poster on your wall. Was it the lighting in your room that's making his face look pink?

You stand there awkwardly, suddenly feeling so exposed in front of him as if some sort of gigantic spotlight was shining down on you. It's not like you haven't been half-naked around each other before, but this feels different... somehow. You don't know why, or maybe you don't want to know.

A cough erupts from Vernon, breaking the sudden silence.

"Oh, wow, um..." He toys with the black hoodie around his head. "I didn't look. I swear."

His eyes dart everywhere except back to you, lingering on the Radiohead poster, the slightly askew picture frame on your desk, just anywhere but you. You don’t know whether to feel relieved or embarrassed.

"Ugh, I'm so stupid." You run a frustrated hand through your hair. "And I have this meeting for work in an hour and I know the laundry won't be done by then. I'm actually screwed."

Vernon thinks for a minute. "You can't like... virtually attend the meeting?

"No."

"Or it can't be postponed?"

"Nope."

"What if I file you as a missing person to the police?"

"You're seriously no help, dude," You say, giving him a light shove to the shoulder, but it's hard to suppress the curve to your lips and the small chuckle that leaves your mouth when you see him fall back dramatically.

Vernon snorts lightly. "Well, it's probably better than showing up to work in your Hello Kitty underwear𑁋"

"You said you didn't look, you idiot!" You exclaim furiously, and Vernon literally does not see the way a pillow practically spawns in your grasp and flinging toward him before he can even react. The pillow hits him square in the chest, causing him to stumble backward with a surprised yelp. "Oh my god, just report me missing at this point."

Vernon just laughs as he catches his breath to stand back up, grabbing the pillow up the floor and lifting it up like a shield as if to defend himself from you. Your face is burning brighter than the lava lamp glowing on your bedside table.

"This is so embarrassing," You mutter sheepishly, wanting to unleash another defeated groan again. "I can't believe I'm this stupid to forget to..."

"You're cute."

"...and then I'm probably going to get fired𑁋what?"

Vernon tosses the pillow back onto your bed and clears his throat.

"I said you're really dumb."

That is not what he said.

For a second, the disastrous situation seems to lighten up just a little bit, and your heart is doing some intense, unrhythmic tap dance against your ribs. You heard exactly what he said𑁋that he called you cute in this ungodly predicament𑁋and now he's trying to brush it off?

Vernon cracks a teasing, boyish smile. "And stupid, yeah. You're not wrong about that."

You open your mouth to retort, but the words get caught in your throat, almost like a choked sound coming out instead. So you point an interrogative finger and step closer to him (and yes, still in your underwear), eyebrows furrowing together.

"You called me cute," You state, all firm and serious now.

Vernon's playful look falters slightly, expression shifting to something a bit more guarded now. He rubs a hand at the back of his neck, that nervous habit you've always found sort of endearing throughout time. Perhaps there's a bit more meaning to it now.

The few moments of silence that follow is absolutely suffocating. You can't even tell if time is passing by quicker or slower as the two of you stand there, shifting this uncomfortable weight between both of your feet.

"Yeah," Vernon says simply, quietly. "I did."

You nearly want to laugh for some reason, but you can feel the nerves tickle up your spine. "I'm standing here in fucking Hello Kitty underwear and you think I'm cute?"

You can visibly see the way the lump in his throat tightens as he swallows, his eyes flickering uncertainly between you and the floor.

"Look you just... You caught me off-guard. Like... laundry day doesn't mean walking around in your underwear and all that," Vernon explains, in a tone like he's trying to reason with you. "but for you, I'll make an exception because𑁋"

"𑁋because I'm cute?"

"Because you're so stupidly cute from freaking out when I could just go to the store right now and buy you a pair of pants to wear." Then he sucks in a breath. "And yeah, the Hello Kitty underwear is cute, I guess."

You feign a shocked, traitorous look to your face. "You guess?! It's Hello Kitty, man."

"Dude, do you want me to snatch you some pants to wear or not? Because I'm deadass about the missing persons report," Vernon asks, half-annoyed yet somewhat half-amused. The twitch to his lips doesn't go unnoticed. And the voice of him calling you cute just minutes earlier also doesn't go unheard of too.

You wear a cringy, exaggerated pout to your lips. "Please."

Vernon's face contorts in slight disgust at that. "Please don't do that eve𑁋I'm leaving." And before you can say anything, he's turning around and leaving your room.

You hear the clinking of keys, assuming that Vernon is getting ready to leave to presumably retrieve you a pair of pants to wear for the day. You step up to your doorway to peek into the living room.

"Hey, I owe you!" You holler out to him. "Let me know how much it costs and I'll pay you back."

"No need," Vernon calls back over his shoulder.

"Come on, I'll feel bad," You insist, leaning against the doorframe. "I'll do anything, I swear."

Now that seems to intrigue him, and you watch the way Vernon slowly turns back to you, and maybe you're starting to regret ever saying that to him.

"Okay," he says lightly. "We're watching a movie tonight."

"A movie? What are we..." Then your eyes widen in realisation. "We are not watching Shrek again. I'll end up falling asleep on you because we've rewatched too much."

Vernon just shrugs. "Yeah, like last time. You hugged me like your personal pillow, remember?"

"I..." You stop yourself from responding immediately, feeling a flush creeping up your cheeks at the memory. "Fine, whatever. If I fall asleep again, you can just wake me up this time."

A low, thoughtful hum runs out of Vernon's mouth. "I mean, I really don't mind if you fall asleep, you know. If you're tired and stuff."

You blink up at him dazedly. "Really?"

"Yeah," he answers, and the corners of his lips lift up ever so slightly. "You're cute when you fall asleep on me, anyway."

another note: guys idk what i just wrote lol its like 90% dialogue n rushed HAHSADSA

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @woohaeyo @mark-geolli @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @aaniag @wootify @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @phenomenalgirl9 @roziesmei @mirxzii @bookyeom @parkjennykim @melodicrabbit @bewoyewo @honglynights @bananabubble @treehouse-mouse @tanya596carat @starshuas @totomoshi

[inf3ct3dd]

loser!ellie headcanons pt.6

summary: ellieeee my chiquitita my baby my love

warnings: none :3

authors note: ik yall missed herrrr

masterlist. help palestine.🇵🇸

- ellie tries to be soooo cool and wear her cool people jackets (leather jackets, canvas, those carhartt hoodie jackets etc) but they’re very not helpful against the cold and you’ll be out with her and shes just SHIVERING the whole time…

- she’s obsessed w those “general knowledge quizzes” on tiktok. that girl is a hoe for trivia she’s sitting on her bed at three in the morning saying her answers OUT LOUD while she watches them. she gets so upset when she gets literally any wrong… “man…im not a quiz master 🙁”

- ik in the games she walks around with her little journal and shit but i feel like shes definitely jus constantly typing shit in her notes app… random thoughts and jokes and shit that she most definitely shows you at the end of the day

- she barely ever baby talks to babies… she’ll go up to a baby and just be like “wassup dude” and have a full blown conversation with him while the babies just sitting there babbling and giggling at her

- thinks those “im nothing like yall” slideshows r so hilarious…. like you’ll be on the couch and she’s just giggling at her phone at paracetamol 😞

- references the most niche memes ever constantly and literally googles them to explain herself. you guys went camping and she said “boy you want hot dog” and you were like ????

- so strangely particular about how her stuff is arranged 😭 her desk looks like an absolute hot mess 90% of the time but SHE UNDERSTANDS IT and if u try and organize it for her she just puts it back how it was

- always says “guys” and “yall” when she’s talking to literally one person. and CHAT. she just constantly adds it into conversation like “chat how are you today”

- loves asking if things are “fire.” she’ll cook you something and you take a bite and shes like “is that shit fire???” she has to know

- obsessed with “i barely know her” jokes. the second someone says something ending in er shes like “rider??? i barely know her!!” and she’s laughing her ass off

- that girl will go HAM on some mac and cheese. but it can only be really good baked mac or the shitty kraft mac and cheese. she puts like- hella pepper and red chili flakes in it and eats it straight out of the pot 🔥 its always at like three in the morning and you just walk in the kitchen to her with a pot in her lap watching glee or some shit

- SPEAKING. OF. glee is most definitely one of her guilty pleasure shows…like shes rewatched it a million times and glee cast was one of her top artists on apple music wrapped

- shes an apple music user. send tweet.

- got yelled at by an old lady once cuz she picked her flowers out of her front yard and gave them to you

- when i tell you that girl goes ham on those tiny clementines… she’ll eat like 10 in one day and theres just PEELS. EVERYWHERE.

- also she fw grapes heavy. especially green grapes (shes a weird little freak red grapes are so much better)

- OBSESSED WITH THOSE BLIND BAG SHITS. especially mini brands oh my god she definitely has the whole lil grocery store set and she’s so obsessed with it.

- her house slippers are definitely just a pair of crocs with the fur inside and a bunch of stupid ass jibbits. she buys the mega packs off amazon and changes them whenever shes bored

- has SO MANY drafts on tiktok and they’re all her trying filters staring at the screen like 😯

- most annoying person to sleep next to ever . snoring, sleep talking, moving around CONSTANTLY and hitting you accidentally, the only way she sleeps peacefully is if you’re holding her or she’s holding you, otherwise shes insane

- weirdly into linguistics…that girl is using humongous words for no good reason just for fun and half the time she has no idea what they mean and when she googles them and shes right about the definition she does that little fist pump and “fuck yes”

- speaking of. that girl is SPEEDRUNNING DUOLINGO . she’s fluent in (bad spaniard) spanish from it, and just learns random languages for fun. you speak a different language? she’s learning it immediately. definitely leaves notes for you in random languages she learned and you have to pull out a translator to understand wtf shes talking about… she also sleep talks in spanish sometimes and its so funny

- loves trying out different recipes…like i said my girl is a CHEF she will be at home fucking up a salmon bake she made and making you homemade pho for dinner

- had a phase when she was younger when she was really into the la bamba movie and dressed like richie valens for two years

- also cried so hard when she watched selena with you…that girl was devastated 💔 every time she hears “dreaming of you” she almost sheds a tear

“when that yolanda bitch gets out of prison….im shooting someone . its obvious who its gonna be.”

- she definitely begged joel to buy her a gun for christmas and he would take her to the range all the time so she can SHOOT. that girl is goated at lazer tag she gets down…does not play

- thought that candy cigarettes were the coolest thing ever when she was little… everywhere she went she had one hanging out of the side of her mouth and shed hold them between her fingers like they do in movies. if you two go to a candy shop shes for sure buying a pack

[honeytonedhottie]

what do u do with ur time⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪷

everyone has twenty-fours in a day. but why is it that some ppl end up getting more done, and what they get done has high ROI? this post will hopefully inform u about how important it is to seize ur time.

scheduling : i'll always advocate for scheduling ur time and organizing it into smaller chunks. its something that rly helped me when i was breaking habits of chronic procrastination. it kept me busy, and gave my time meaning.

there r endless scheduling tools like notion, the notes app, or even a physical agenda. i prefer online resources bcuz i always have my phone or computer on me so its more practical for my lifestyle.

before the start of every week (saturday or sunday) have a seat and plan out ur week. what do u need to get done? what would u like to enjoy? etc etc. doing so gives ur time purpose and meaning and if u stick to the agenda, you'll find that ur literally so productive!!

the objective is to make the MOST of ur time, with that being said evaluate what u do on a regular basis, what needs to be done for ur future, and determine what has the highest return on investment.

WHAT MAKES SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE : it says so in the word itself, productive. to produce. produce a feeling? a tangible outcome? i think thats up to you to decide. but if doing something provides you with anything positive i think it qualifies as productive. but being productive also comes with the pressure of ALWAYS being productive.

you need to also allow urself time to do NOTHING. ik it seems weird but i think that its the most productive of all. when i say nothing i dont mean scrolling mindlessly through ur phone. i mean separating urself completely from ur phone, from anything at all and just SIT with ur thoughts for some time. dont get distracted just be alone with ur thoughts. do absolutely nothing, dont distract urself by reading or looking out the window just sit there and think.

with all this being said i hope that u can give ur time value and that ur time will give back to you and set u up for success 💗💗💗💗

[noihavenosanitythanksforasking]

"if ur not a gay man and ship byler your a fetishizer!!!"

chat listen

im a lesbian which means i like girls. i am not attracted to mike or will IM THE SLIGHTEST. noah schnapp? NO ATTRACTION WHATSOEVER. ik i make jokes about being into finn but im not actually attracted to him.

this doesnt mean that shipping an mlm ship cant venture into fetish territory bc it def can.especially if your in the wlw ship community. there are plenty of straight cis men who watch lesbian porn or wtv bc they think its hot to watch girls kiss. bc they are into girls. thats is a fetish and is fucking weird. this isnt to say that you can be a cis straight guy and not have wlw ships but it gets into weird territory very fast depending on how you talk about it.

anyways in regards to mlm ships, its not uncommon for mlm ships to show up bc of the fact that the girlies think both of the guys are hot. and then they want them to kiss bc its fun to watch or smth? idk bro. i see this alot with steddie tbh. not that theres anything expressly wrong with steddie but with steddie fans i see alot of this behavior. steve is a common simped on character, eddie is a common simped on character. so they want them to kiss.

anyway. if youve ever been in the byler community you would know that it does not have that undertone AT ALL. in fact i see most byler get weirded out when someone expresses those types of ideas. being a byler is about community and representation. its about wanting to be seen and heard. its about the fact that we all KNOW what its like to be will. its about them loving and caring about each other.

anyways idk where i was going with this but i needed to rant theres nothing wrong with bring attracted to an actor in your ship or anything btw but i feel some ppl make it weird

[sandsoftide]

Haven’t seen enough people talking about why timebomb and specifically ekko also suffered from arcane s2 being bad. Spoilers and crit

I’ll say more in depth later when I have gone back and revisited it with a clearer head and let me make it entirely clear I LIKE timebomb in concept. Much like caitvi. Like I see the vision I just don’t like a lot of the creative choices

Ekko in s1 was a REVOLUTIONARY he built the firelights w his own two hands and was sort of a foil to jinx and silco, he hated them but he wasn’t going to roll over to piltover either. He wanted independence but not through exploitation. He was a leader and a caretaker and mature beyond his years bc he was forced to be. And he hates Jinx bc she reminds him of that trauma and he’s betrayed by what she became like there’s SO much there look at it

In s2 he goes “hm my tree is being weird” and then gets sucked into the timey wimey thing and disappears for a whole act and the firelights aren’t even MENTIONED (and ik he wasn’t a major character in s1 either but like, he was still important and relevant to the plot throughout bc of the firelights?)

Then he gets sucked into this au portal (cool concept and cool execution) and falls in love with powder or whatever. And she ISNT JINX. SHE IS NOT THE JINX WE KNOW BC JINX IN MAIN TIMELINE IS FULLY BUILT FROM HER EXPERIENCES AND TRAUMA AND MENTAL ILLNESS. Like what Jayce said to viktor that’s part of her whether it hurts her or not. Her trauma doesn’t define her but it’s a part of her! And then all of a sudden Ekko’s sad bc he misses jinx (who iirc last time he met they had the whole I hate you and I miss you talk and they fought and both thought the other dead or whatever?) and then he’s talking her off the ledge even though he has absolutely no reason to! Because he DOESNT KNOW HER he knows literally nothing she’s done since s1 finale!!! Even the “jinx as a symbol for revolution” stuff from act 1 that went nowhere he would know NOTHING ABOUT bc he basically immediately went to Jayce? And they never did the revolutionary jinx stuff that was implied w the flag waving either so there’s no connection there either

Like a full episode was spent developing timebomb and it was interesting but also contributed nothing bc that is not jinx. She just feels like a mpdg and he doesn’t feel like ekko bc he needs to be in love w her for the plot? So they do absolutely nothing interesting they could for timebomb and still make it the entirety of ekko’s plot while tossing out the firelights and the zaun v. Piltover plotline as a whole

i mean again its hard to say bc this is right. objectively. like the stuff w timebomb was objectively well written. i just feel like it doesnt give ekko the space to be his own character outside of the ship? my point isnt that the stuff was poorly written i actually enjoyed it a lot and i think they did a good job w it i just also feel like it does ekko a disservice to have that be his only plotline and how it doesnt feel like it connects to his character in s1

i feel similarly about other plots in s2, like mel's. like yes this is good stuff! i love seeing mel in the spotlight the black rose magic stuff is interesting in a vacuum but also its totally separate from the interesting thematic roles in s1 that dealt with AGAIN THE CLASS CONFLICT AND POLITICS and dropping that for something different feels. like its a disservice to the characters, i guess?

also by having the timebomb development take place primarily in an au with powder and NOT jinx we dont really get to see jinx's thoughts at all. it feels like a repeat of s1 where someone is trying to save POWDER and not jinx, they dont see her as who she is now but rather who she was or could have been. which couldve been interesting to explore but they clearly werent interested in that ANYWAYS

[amymbona]

I was thinking about being Patrick’s childhood friend and accidentally marrying him at Las Vegas. You’ve been in love with him for years and he with you, but neither of you know that the other is in love with each other. The marriage is completely legit and it’s weird, but it is so much work and money to get a divorce. You’re both close anyway and there are some benefits to staying married, so might as well right? Patrick agrees and you both go with it. The fact that you’re both secretly in love with each other has nothing to do with that decision of course…

Just all the domestic bliss of living with someone you’ve loved for ages but are unable to properly say it. Slowly coming to realize both of you are in love wirh each other and that this is the happiest mistake of your life.

(very vague ik but just some thoughts)

Ughhh imagine going on a lovey dovey honeymoon because both of you feel like two weeks spend tanning at the beach and drinking cocktails are more than needed. If Patrick is still playing tennis, he's like semi-famous, so the two of you might meet a guy or two who excitedly take selfie with him and then swiftly tweet how the Zweig guy is married!

The way the two of you act is a mix of friendly and romantic, cause nothing changed, but actually everything has changed. You know what I mean? It's no secret the two of you are touchy, giggly and all that jazz, like you've been best friends since you've learned how to speak! You genuinely don't mind if Patrick sees your boob when the top of your bikini slips while the two of you are swimming the sea; he literally held your hair and rubbed your back when you first got drunk, and changed a pad for you once as well. There's no hint of embarrassment or fear between the two of you.

However, for some reason, Patrick can't keep his eyes off of you. He's looking at you in such a different - lustful - way, but not in the sense that he'd bend you over the nearest surface and fuck you. God, you're glowing, you're like an angel, like a goddamn diamond that shines brighter than the cheap gold ring he put on your finger (he needs to buy you a prettier one). He longs to see you in pretty dresses, to lay in bed with you while you're reading your favourite book, to twirl your hair around his finger, to kiss your pink lips. But do you feel the same way about him?

And, oh, you do. You fucking do, and it drives you crazy. If only Patrick knew how much you wish you were one of the girls that are mentioned in articles about him, how much you wish that the two of you could go out in public and people would speculate it you're just a family friend or something more. And now you might have it, but is it really what you dreamed about?

It's like a fever dream to you actually, like a beautiful dream that you will wake up from once you make it back to the USA, slipping into consciousness and forced to part ways. What if the excitement will wear of? What if Patrick will realise that this situation offers no benefits at all and decides to go through the awful process of a divorce.

Patrick manages to convince you otherwise, especially when he scoops you into his arms while you're walking along the beach and threatens to drop you into the water, when he buys you your favourite flavour of ice cream and wipes a drop of it from your chin. The more Patrick does, the more you find yourself falling in love with him, which can't be good at all. But in the end, these are just the feelings that you've managed to repress for years, and maybe now, you'll be finally allowed to let them flow freely, considering you're officially Mrs Zweig.

[lexxiesbimboboobs]

Nonconfirmity in Bimbofication

I was watching a video essay that popped up in my reccomended and I realized one thing that I really love about the bimbo aesthetic (and I purely mean it from a 'traditional' aesthetic side - as a hyperfeminine, pink, plastic girl) - it is not conventionally attractive femininity. In spite of the surgeries it entails, the body modification, the insane upkeep, the typical "bimbo" look does not fit into the beauty standard.

It's "too girly", "too plastic" - literally (quoting from the video) as stated in Mean Girls "more plastic than person". Being this girly is ugly, middle aged women in walmart do, in fact, look at you weird. They will say "oh god! how could she do this to herself?!" - whilst you rock your full-pink outfit and 700cc boobs. If you looked at that and asked some fashion person to give you a makeover, they'd tone you down. Make you more typical, less over-the-top-feminine.

I, personally, in real life - usually dress in a quite masc way - loose jeans and tank tops dominate my daily wear, which is obviously also outside this typical, heteronormative idea of beauty. Pointing a bimbofication stick at myself and utterly inverting all of this, flipping it on its head into oversexed, overfeminine bimboland... still lands you outside of the typical, heteronormative idea of beauty.

I mean yeah, sure, you might be some guys wet dream if you're a bimbo, but that's where it ends. From a normative lens, you're an object, an accessory, a one night stand, a whore and a slut - a bimbo, in its traditional, pejorative meaning. You're (again, from a normative lens) nothing more than a wet dream. Maybe if you kicked the platinum blonde for a more traditional dirty one, left the pink to just accents, put on a longer skirt and had these awful globes of plastic removed from your chest, people would finally take you seriously.

You go from underdressed to overdressed, from underfeminine to overfeminine. all in all you go from "outside of what society deems as acceptable feminity" to "outside of what society deems as acceptable feminity". And I think that is precisely why I, if I am to present in a femme way, would much rather be an over the top bimbo, rather than a "natural beauty".

(Sorry for the different post than usual. Ik this is lots of words and they're not very sexy, but I needed to put this somewhere).

[ch3rrybbie]

Have

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

———

summary: to have and to hold 😉

note from author: think I might end it here bc I feel the next part I was planning ruins the journey they came on I don’t wanna do drama for the sake of it so send in other Randall requests and I shall obligeeeeeee. Ty for reading bbys.

warnings: 18+, smut, angst, idiots pining, oral( fem and male rec), penetration, not fully protected sex?, monsters ig, thoughts os situationships (scary Ik)

———

Mornings after a night of crying were always exhausting. Yawning you sleepily made your way to the kitchen, startled at the sight of something on the table.

Daisies.

They were everywhere in the forest. You were entranced by them when you walked through that day so much so that you failed to see him.

Him?

Surely not…

A loose scrap of paper with ‘thank you’ was strewn beside it.

It meant nothing.

Even if it was him it didn’t mean anything.

Right?

———

You steeled yourself and left to gather food you needed. You tried not looking at the bus but you couldn’t help yourself and there he was back to normal sulking inside like he hadn’t just been possessed by another malevolent spirit lurking in this hellhole.

But he was alive.

You’d stared too long and his eyes snagged yours. They lit up?

He scrambled out of the bus and you set off basket of vegetables full, they might as well as been rotting with the storm inside your chest.

“Y/N!” He exclaimed.

Heavy steps fell beside you as he peered into your line of vision.

Great. Last thing you needed to see was those deep eyes attempting to nudge a smile onto your face.

“I uh made you something” he awkwardly throws at you and you stop in your tracks heart clenching.

One awkward flourish later and his warm rough hand is placing it in yours.

You zone out as he makes a joke about how cold your hands are, it was a baby doe.

He’d carved you a baby doe.

How could he have known you liked them, that you saw one your first night here and it gave you a weird sense of peace. Did he ask Donna? Did he guess?

No, how could’ve he have known it’s nothing.

Because all acquaintances that have fucked carve tokens and leave flowers and dream-

Stop it you urge yourself. You smudge out the hope like chalk.

“Thank you” you cut plainly and continue marching back to your house where you could spiral alone.

He persists, “I just, I don’t know I figured I should get you something for looking after me when I was you know…” he trails off and you can’t help but turn to him. Your hands feel useless at your side and clutching your basket, you ache to caress him, comfort him just touch him.

“There’s no need to thank me” you give him a strained smile, “Plus Laine came to help so” you shrug.

His eyes squint, “The fucks she got to do with us?” He spits.

Us?

“What has your girlfriend got to do with her coming to look after you in the house of the girl you fucked without telling you had a girlfriend? I don’t know Randall beats me!” You could play this game.

He loses it, “The FUCK are you talking about Y/N?!”

You look at him incredulously, he had never spoken to you like this. Donna and Boyd sure, but you he reserved a different tone. You curled your and harder around the handle of your basket.

“When have I EVER showed ANY fucking interest in Laine? I mean the girl is obsessed with me! How the fuck is that my fault? Why the fuck are you punishing me for that” he laments.

Your head turns away in shame, cheeks flushing.

“You know I was coming here to tell you that I wanted more than…” he gestures between you wildly “this”.

Your head snaps back towards him and your eyes widen in shock.

“Randall I had no idea I-“

He continues, “I haven’t touched Laine ONCE and I don’t just eat out every girl I know in the woods” he heaves in a depth breath and concludes, “You know what I am DONE with these games”

It’s his turn to turn and stomp away, he swaggers all the way to the bus as you watch slamming the door closed.

You desperately wanted to go kiss it better. To say sorry and explain your heart was his from the moment you met. Yet blooming anger fills you, one moment you’re by the diner the next the basket is on the floor as you barrel your way to the bus.

You yanked the door open and storm on, he jumps from his seated sulk towards the back of the bus.

“MY GAMES?!” you seethe, “I was NOT the one entertaining someone else’s attention after we fucked and I am NOT the one staring you down constantly”.

You turn and hop down from the bus still fuming but somewhat satisfied, pausing you pop your head back in and give him a final indignant

“Fuck you”.

He watched you saunter off grabbing your basket.

Maybe you both weren’t done with these games.

———

You slammed your door behind you and dropped to the ground sobbing in frustration.

How dare he?! How dare he turn up and force these emotions out of you, this passion , this desire, this anger. Your life before had here felt cold and sterile he had set it alight.

Your bed was as cosy as it had been before you left and you allowed yourself back into that warmth. Eyes closing with his smirk outlined, clutching a wooden statue he’d made just for you.

———

Jolting awake you check the only marker of time here and the sky is pitch black, fuck this is why you stopped naps here.This sudden winter meant earlier and longer nights with those things. Foolishly your heart thought of Randall out there alone with a full view of them. Would it be too forward to ask him to stay with you? Yes, note to self do NOT ask him to stay with you.

You creep downstairs with lights off the last thing you needed was those things tormenting you. An all nighter it was.

A peek outside offset your night’s plans.

A goat, the same one Randall had attempted to steal.

Fuck.

The town was on the edge of turmoil with rationing causing discord, this was the last thing you needed. In the distance you saw Boyd, Tian Chen, Jade and Victor rounding up a whole herd of animals.

Shit.

Grabbing your shoes you threw them on and ran out without a second thought.

Donna was going to kill you. If the monsters didn’t catch you first.

“What the fuck are you guys doing?!” You hissed.

“Y/N we can’t afford to lose the animals you KNOW that” Boyd hisses back

You sigh grabbing a goat and attempting to lead it towards the barn.

A great monotonous beeping sounds as you notice the monsters appear.

Randall was warning you guys.

Fuckkkkkkkkkk.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Julie, Sara and Ethan fleeing the back of their house.

“Boyd!” You gesture towards them.

“Go, we got this” he commands

You hesitate.

“Go!” He yells.

A grip on your upper arm springs you into action your head snaps ready to scream only to see a furious face looking down at you.

Randall.

You gesture towards Julie, Sara and Ethan and his face softens. You both start yelling at the pointing to the bus , they’re closer so they hop on just in time as an monsters start tapping on the door.

Shit.

You’re stuck between the bus and the escaped animals, goat still bleating at your feet.

Randall notices your gaze and scoops down grabbing the goat. They were coming towards you now.

“Come on!” You yell, sprinting towards your house.

You look behind and commit the image to memory for when you life isn’t in immediate danger. All 6ft of Randall’s stocky build and stern face is cradling the goat he’d tried to steal.

Yanking your door open to let him in he drags you with him, he drops the goat you watch it dally off to settle on your sofa as he locks the door and checks the stone sighing.

“Wait here” he states. Confused and breathless you wait for him and realise he’s sweeping the house. He strolls back to you and sensing your panic reassures you, “All clear”.

You jump at the distant shouts and he grabs your shoulders, “Come on let’s go upstairs”

Cracking a smile you nudge him, “You think I’m that easy huh? Gotta do more than save a gals life around here bud”. You chuckle.

He sighs, smile twitching at his lips.

His lips look as smooth as they did that day.

———

He pauses at your door, seeming to be somewhere else. Gently grabbing his shoulder he jumps, “Sorry, it’s just it reminds me of… well you know” his lip curls.

“We can sleep on the sofa?” You offer gently.

“We huh?” He quirks a brow smirking as his eyes stare hungrily at you.

“I’m sorry, I mean we can sleep separately I just didn’t think of it I guess” you whisper shamefully.

He pushes past you and flops on the bed fully clothed, “All good princess, you know me I don’t mind” he folds his arms under his head muscles taught. Your fingers buzzed at the thought of brushing over them. You zone out staring as he talks, “I mean it’ll be nice not having those creeps staring in”. His jeans emphasised his crotch and thighs, the were pulled taught. He wore a plain white shirt that was stupidly tight with the way he was stretching, you lustfully trace his peeping happy trail with your eyes tracing back to the shape of him.

“Like what you see?” He jokes very pleased with your reaction.

“Shut up” you turn to shuffle through your clothes scouring for pyjamas. You pause, what was he gonna wear?

“Not to be a neat freak of anything but are you really gonna wear your outside clothes and hell even your jeans to sleep”

“Sorry I didn’t bring matching pyjamas princess I didn’t have time to pack much for here”

He’s deflecting, great!

Guilt sank in as you realised he couldn’t wear anything but clothes on the bus, no with them watching.

“Take off your clothes” you sigh

Sitting up on his elbows his eyes darken as he takes in your clothes, well you’d supposed he was imagining what was under your joggers and jumper.

He juts his chin towards you in a ‘come hither’ gesture.

“Come help me taken ‘em off baby” he smirks softly at you.

You sigh and point your finger sternly at him as you drift towards him as he stands.

“I didn’t mean it like that, i mean you can relax in here without being seen by them” you pause “Nothing like that is happening until we figure this out” you finish gesturing between you.

Eyes softened he gazes at you, “sure” he whispers without a trace of conceit.

Not breaking eye contact your cold hands slide under his shirt smoothing against his naked chest. Shivering a smiles down at you tilting his head, “Need me to warm you up baby?”. You play along moving closer watching his breath hitch and his smile drop you bite your lip reflecting back feelings not too dissimilar to your own before you tug the t shirt over his head trapping him and cracking into fits of giggles you watch as he squirms.

“What was that for?!”, you can’t do anything but shrug and laugh at his exasperated escaped face.

“Right, that’s it” his eyes light up with a spark you attempt to run as you realise his intention. It’s too late he grabs you and throws you onto the bed, your laughs grow louder and he grins he’d never heard or seen you so relaxed.

Your faces were level his arms on either side of your head, tension seeps into the moment. An unconscious pull urges you to sit and just kiss him.

Pushing it down u push him up hands going to his belt, “Bedtime!” you announce.

“Atleast buy me a drink first” he grins down, a glare sent back up to him shuts him up.

Both your breathing grows heavy as you slowly undo his belt and unzip his jeans hugging them down you spare a glance up at him as he is close to drooling watching you.

You press your thighs together squirming.

He snaps out of it returning to his quips, “So have you got some special two-piece just for me honey?” he tilts his head watching you flap around your room hunting for something to wear.

He can read you like a book, “Just wear this”.

You relent and turn to throw on the t shirt you’d just trapped him in, sneaking a glance over your shoulder you see he’s awkwardly staring away studying the charms of your room. It’s your turn to tease him, “What nothing you haven’t seen before”.

He turns freezing as he sees how his shirt fits you, in your opinion it’s tight in all the wrong places. To him it’s definitely the right places.

He shrugs and advances towards you hand gripping your waist and a chaste kiss to your forehead, “Suits you” he mutters.

He’s gone towards the bathroom as soon as he caressed you so casually, “You got a spare toothbrush?!” he yells.

———

One explanation of your mint leaf paste later (toothpaste ran out in town alarmingly quick), and you’d awkwardly shuffled into bed beside him.

Silence finally envelops the room and you begin to hear it.

Tapping.

Whispering.

Scratching.

Breath hitching you hike to covers further over your head, eyes scanning the room and heart palpating.

He notices as always, “Hey, hey you okay??” a strong arm slides beneath your head pulling you closer. You look up and he puts it together, “I’m used to it by now, don’t have much choice with the bus”.

“I’m sorry” you turn into him hand resting against his chest. A warm calloused hand swans up and envelops yours, it gets pulled up further brushing his lips.

His face screws up on the verge of releasing something so you use your other hand in an attempt to smooth out his creasing brow.

“Fuck it” he huffs.

“I felt something the moment i saw you when i was stepping off that bus and i tried to push it down and just stay away from you but it felt like fate, this town, I don’t know kept pushing you to me” he breathes looking in your eyes for approval “I started asking people about you, your name, if you were I don’t know seeing someone. I saw you with kenny and i was stupidly angry so i entertained Laine hitting on me and when i saw that you maybe felt a fraction of the way i felt i knew i had to tell you i just-”.

You cut him off with a crushing kiss hoping it could convey just a fraction of what you felt.

Pulling back your eyes search hims, he just smiles pulling you to straddle him and pulling your head to kiss him deeply.

Nipples hardening as he pulls the covers back and he soothes it by sliding his hand under the shirt to pinch your nipples. Groaning on top of him you push your hips into his groin, grinding to relieve to burning desire building.

The kisses grow slower as your evident desires consume you both.

Pulling back he searches your eyes unsure, “Look i don’t want you thinking that everytime we’re alone we gotta..” he trails off and you smile.

“I mean we don’t gotta” you hand trails to his waistband, his cock stains painfully begging to be released.

You oblige.

“But I want to”

All softness as you kiss you way down to his happy trail. You look up and he is mesmerised, a sudden flush of awkwardness envelops you.

“Is this um okay?”

“More than” he smirks down at you, hand cupping your cheek and stroking almost thanking your mouth before it even touches him.

Holding yourself back from making this moment sink away you kiss his leaking tip as soft as you can like it could shatter from your plush lips.

Hand caressing his velvety shaft you go slow hoping the cock sucking says ‘Hey Randall I think I love you and you were put here for me to love in any way I can so take this form of love for now!’, one step at a time I guess.

Focus.

Eyes flashing back up to his you wrangle a smirk from your face as his mouth hands open the sight of you sucking his tip gently and stroking his turgid shaft too much.

Maybe you can kick it up a gear.

Cupping his aching balls you release your mouth from his cock with a pornographic ‘pop’. Lying your head on his tensed thigh and continuing to cup his balls you gaze up through hazy lashes and let words slip from those lusty lips. “Your cock looks so good baby, so hard for me?”, he can do nothing but enthusiastically nod at you eyes full of adoration as you tease him. Hand leaving his balls you let a finger swirl around the slit of his hot swollen head and it’s your turn to transfixed. He’d not been inside you yet and the thought send a flood of heat to your aching pussy. He reaches down and pulls your chin to look at him, “Come here” a curt command thrown down at you.

Crawling back up him he watches every move and as you lean to kiss him he stops you. His calloused hand squeeze up your waist admiring the way his shirt fits you, your nipples protruding from the cold he pinches them harshly and breathes in your pleasured gasp.

“You like that huh?” he challenges, hands moving down to grip your ass cheeks. Shocked he laughs, “You’re not wearing fucking panties baby, we gotta do something about that”. His thumb is rough and warm against your throbbing clit, seemingly with a mind of its own he lets it move in smooth rough circles. You arch into him. “Come here please baby I need to taste you”, you lean in intending on giving him a crushing kiss. He stops you again. “No baby come sit on my face”.

Your lips part and your body starts moving before your mind can cut through the haze his words spill you into. He kisses your pussy so softly you could cry, you do cry. You whine, arch into him and brace your hands on the headboard. Pussy aching and throbbing he gives you just what you needed. Sloppily nudging his nose into you clit and kissing your pulsing hole he smiles at your sweet calls out to him and the fact you are somehow getting wetter. He can’t help but grab his cock and harshly tug it morning into you. Hips moving wildly he uses his hand on his lower back to encourage you moaning “Yes baby” into your tensing pussy. You come on his face with a low long moan, his cock twitches at the sound.

He needed more.

Helping you off he takes in your glow your blushed cheeks, swollen lips and smile.

“What?” You ask apprehensively.

He smiles and grabs your cheeks kissing you softly. Pushing back you roll your eyes and tease him, “You gonna fuck me or what?”.

You turn and arch your dripping pussy up to him an offering. A lusty haze started to set over him before he falters. He wanted to your face as you squeezed his cock, your blushed cheeks, your smile.

You.

“Could we um, do it missionary?”, scratching the back of his head he sees you turn around and grin at him once again trying to push away the sincerity.

“You got a crush on me big boy?” You jest.

He play along, seizing you as you squeal and rolling rapping you under him and just gazing at you.

“Matter of fact I do, you gotta problem with that sweetheart?” He croons.

You feel as though you are throwing up your heart. It jumps in your throat your face drops and you shake your head, “No” you whisper.

His face smooths over a stupid smile settling over and he replies by kissing softer than he ever had. Lips ghosting against each other.

A soft confession.

Both falling back into lengthened kisses you whine and arch into him, “Please baby, please”.

“Shit, do you have a condom?” panic seeps through his voice and you giggle, “Don’t need one I’m one the coil, thanks for asking though” you press a sickly sweet kiss against his cheek.

Taking pity he lines himself up and slowly sinks in to the hilt. He sighs, head dropping against yours, waiting he staring into your every letting your pussy flutter and adjust against his thick cock. You are tight and warm and oh so welcoming, “I don’t know how long I’ll last baby-fuck” he explains in a whine his cock twitching inside you before he’s even moved.

“I don’t know either baby, just let go you feel so good” you reassure him and he does as commanded. He fucks into you softly eyes never leaving yours. He has to hold back cumming as you fucking grin when he hits the right spots. You little whines and gasps are what he has been waiting to hear and he occasionally sucks them in through a searing kiss uncaring of who hears. He drops a hand to roughly flick your engorged clit swollen from his cock and skin rubbing against it. You let out an elongated moan and he groans into you unable to hold back his own pants and groans.

You were close and you needed to watch him come so you urged him on legs wrapping around his hips bringing him impossibly close. You’d stopped exchanging words as you both plummeted towards your highs. Everything went white as your orgasm snapped and tore through you, you’d only had a handful of full body orgasms a day only ever with you vibrator. You could’ve sworn you were floating, fingers and toes buzzing, pussy pulsating and twitching around his twitching cock. You regained sight and watched him moan and writhe hips stutter against your still engorged clit.

You can’t help but laugh as another wave of pleasure ricochets through you soft as satin.

———

Spent and out of breath you both lie there and turn towards each other at the same time and do nothing but laugh. Once your giggles die down he rises coming back with a warm wet towel to clean you with he chucks it on the floor and looks at you with his ever intense stare.

“What are we?”, you burst out.

“What do you mean?” his confused face looking down as he strokes hair from your face.

Heart sinking it washes over your face. Were you right? He didn’t want anything serious, had he faked the very look in his eye he dared to give you even now.

Reading your hurt he attempts to explain, “Look my folks never were always just together you know? Like no girlfriend boyfriend shit they were just together”

“Okay so, we’re like….” trailing off you muster all the hope you can.

“Together” he finishes, “We’re together”.

You smile and kiss for what feels for forever and fall asleep wrapped up in each other. He was comfortable for the first time since being in this town, maybe in his life. And you didn’t even register the knocking and scratching that occurred all night long, the sound of his heart that you now knew was beating for you was all that mattered.

Leave it to him the interrupt that peace, he’d been lying awake holding something in.

“It was me that left the flowers and the note” he bursts out nervously.

“I know dummy” you mutter tired, “go back to sleep” you mutter angrily accompanied by the soft bleats of your new pet downstairs.

He falls asleep with a shit eating grin.

———