#ignore me im being autistic

[joyousanarchist]

another dump [cronus/cronkri brainrot] mostly class doodles but sometimes i put actual effort into things :3

[twoheadedoddity]

John Gaius and the Gospel of John

Ok. Here we go. I've spent the last little bit annotating my copies of tlt in detail, and I've been focusing a lot on the biblical references— especially John's confession chapters in NtN. I'm essentially cross-referencing the verses alluded to in the chapter titles with the actual content of the chapters, and recording some thoughts/observations. Not entirely groundbreaking, but I want to be thorough.

I'm building off of posts by @todd-queen here and here; go read these posts because they exploded my brain. The cipher. wow.

Please bear with me and if you read nothing else, read the entry for the final chapter.

Side note: I'm mostly using the New Revised Standard Version (the one I'm most familiar with) and sometimes the New International Version.

John 20:8

"Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed." (NRSV)

This is the big one—as has been previously pointed out, the fact that Muir got this verse to fit as the first numbers of the cipher AND be so relevant melts my brain. Immediately, connotations of Harrow breaking into the tomb at 10 (the first person to ever so do), seeing Alecto, and wanting to live. She saw and believed.

This chapter consists of John setting up the context for the cryo project, the Earth dying, all that. The main link is how the verse fits with Harrow's story.

John 5:20

"The Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing; and he will show him greater works than these, so that you will be astonished." (NRSV)

John and his crew are trying to buy time amid the projects getting shut down. Their power gets shut down anyway, and miraculously, the bodies that John touches don't decay. This verse speaks to both the first pieces of John's powers and foreshadows the more drastic "miracles" that will come later.

John 15:23

"Whoever hates me hates my Father also." (NRSV)

The crew realizes the link between John, his eyes changing, and the intact corpses. They try to experiment to see if anything will bring about changes in the bodies. Nothing does. He names them Titania and Ulysses. He moves the corpses' hands from across the room for the first time. Not really much to link the content of the verse to the content of the chapter here if you ask me?

John 5:18

"For this reason they tried all the more to kill him; not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God." (NIV)

The crew wrestles with the implications of what John can do—in a way, the idea that John could be chosen in some capacity, or that John can now play at being God. This is also the chapter where they decide to stream on the internet; so, you could maybe say that the verse foreshadows the ways they'll be targeted due to John's actions.

John 8:1

"While Jesus went to the Mount of Olives." (NRSV)

The verse, in context, comes right before Jesus demonstrates to a group how none of them are without sin, and shows mercy/forgiveness to a woman that others were wanting punished.

As for Jod—his little necromancy twitch streamer gig starts to take off. People start coming to him for help or healing or miracles. His words, he's "playing Jesus." Obvious parallels to the sections (such as the above verse and those that follow it) where Jesus is teaching folks and performing miracles. Interestingly, Cristabel intervenes, telling John he's wearing himself too thin and that he's making the same mistakes as Jesus by never turning people down. So John sets a limit to one hour of miracles a day.

The cult really gets going. The authorities turn up. The choice is get taken down or do something drastic. John chooses something drastic—COW WALL. Cow wall scares everyone into leaving the cult alone for a bit. I think, in a lot of ways, this is the chapter that was foreshadowed by the previous chapter's verse, if we really want to draw parallels that far?

John 19:18

"There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, with Jesus between them." (NRSV)

John mostly talks about the politics of the FTL program—more funding stuff, the way cryo was dropped, the inconcistencies with the program, the trillionaires rushing ahead with stuff. I'll be honest, I only vaguely grasp the corporate-funding-technology-science-and-capitalism side of John's story. But I don't think there's any link here.

John 5:1

"Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals." (NIV)

^ He goes up for a festival (the KJV uses the word feast, so I keep rotating that word in my brain too) and in the next verses encounters sick people in a pool. He heals one of them.

John faces no consequences for Cow Wall and other crimes. If nothing else, his influence grows. He and his crew have a barbeque and talk about their plans.

At the barbeque, big bright lights go off in my brain that point to the word feast in the KJV. This literally isn't anything. Like I don't think it's a very meaningful connection to make here. But my brain keeps going "I connected the dots!" I didn't connect shit "I connected them!!"

John gets approached by an important organization and he agrees to help them. So now he's remotely controlling the corpse of a big world leader to fool the world into thinking he's alive, in exchange for a lot of money and a city-destroying weapon. Great. Comparison between Jesus' miracles of healing and John's necromantic reanimation "miracles."

"Could you give him a permanent pulse? Could you make it so he bleeds if he gets hurt? Could you fix any current degradation to his corpse? Could he talk, if we wanted him to?" (NtN 271-272). This is a quote that @/todd-queen pulled from the text, and it fits really well.

John 3:20

"For all that do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed." (NRSV)

More FTL stuff. The nomination for that. John finds out that the plans that were progressing for FTL and the evacuations were dubious at best—just trying to make it look like progress. John is furious, and decides to lean into the necromancer-cult-leader-twitch-streamer act even more, gaining even more sway.

I think something could be said for the verse—being all about evildoers hiding and preventing their deeds from being exposed—can be linked to the trillionaires lying and covering up the ways they are interfering with the FTL project/evacuation plans. And how John tries to expose them. I'd be able to give a more concrete argument if I understood the FTL plotline better but for some reason I struggle so bad with it.

@/todd-queen also links it with this quote, about how John and his crew hide the nuke, intending to never let it see the light of day. Which is also a good connection imo. "We kept laughing that it came with a manual. I think we were scared of what would happen if we stopped laughing. We pulled up the floor and put a safe beneath the lino and swore we were never going to use it." (NtN 279).

John 9:22

"His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders, who already had decided that anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue." (NIV)

John grows in power. People come to join. It becomes an international sort of crisis. The first violent exchange occurs, and John uses the energy burst from the deaths to commit atrocities. One could link the verse to the various authorities coming after John and arresting anyone trying to join his cult. John certainly would. I hate him so much.

John 1:20

"He confessed and did not deny it, but confessed, 'I am not the Messiah.'" (NRSV)

The chapter where everything goes to shit. FTL accelerating their escape attempt to mere days and then hours away. The attempted coup with G1deon and the nuke. John's crew is convinced this is the end; Cassiopeia and Nigella getting married. John reveals that he also has the corpse puppet ready to start a nuclear armageddon, as a backup threat to prevent FTL. Everything goes to shit at the cult compound. Cristabel shoots herself to make John figure out how to work with the soul. Everyone kills everyone else and John starts the apocalypse. Becomes God using the collective souls of the population and that of the earth. Obtains perfect lyctorhood with the earth, creating Alecto. The order of events for the actual nuclear apocalypse are unclear, because John is self-contradicting and a liar.

The actual contents of the chapter are... a lot. All over the place. But it's the most raw and visceral part of John's confession, which kind of fits nicely with this particular verse—given that it's from the section about John's (the Baptist, like, from-the-bible John) confession.

While I haven't covered the alternate ARC chapter numbers, I need to point out that this chapter is John 1:9 in the ARC. "The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world." (NIV). Seems pretty fitting for the chapter where he becomes God and begins the process that will become the resurrection, right?

John 5:4

This verse doesn't exist in the NSRV and many other versions, because in recent translations scholars think this verse wasn't part of the original. It is:

"From time to time an angel of the Lord would come down and stir up the waters. The first one into the pool after each such disturbance would be cured of whatever disease they had." (NIV)

The first connection, of course, is John picking and choosing who to bring back. Healing, resurrection. Yeah.

In this chapter John answers some of Harrow's questions. It's hard to tell which bits he lies about, exactly, but Harrow knows that he's full of shit. She decides to find the truth, and find God—probably not John in the end because he's a horrid lying sham—and walks into the River.

Right. Ok. Now back to this verse not being accepted as part of the bible anymore. On one hand, many of the Christian sources explaining its removal talk about how older, more accurate manuscripts do not contain this verse, so it's more accurate for more recent translations to remove it. Interesting. A chapter where Jod is clearly falsifying information being named after a verse that is supposedly not genuine. Tamsyn Muir your game is incredible.

Please direct your attention to this reddit post. The verse could also have been removed to focus attention on Jesus' healing power rather than having an angel also be doing the same thing. The post puts it better than I can, go read it, but essentially: John is trying to focus the attention on himself—the idea that he's the source of the world's power.

Choosing John 5:4 for this final chapter of John's confessional was very, very deliberate. I would like to shake Tamsyn Muir's hand and also ask her oh so many questions.

Final thoughts: I definitely that the main purpose for the choices behind most of the verses were primarily to fit with the cipher. But, where possible, Muir would have wanted them to fit somewhat with the contents of the chapter.

However, where things were very, very deliberate, were the first and last of these chapters—20:8 and 5:4. There is no doubt in my mind that these verses were handpicked for how incredibly relevant they are.

A lot of what I've pointed out has been pointed out by other people as I've mentioned throughout this post. I'm glad to be bringing it all together and freaking out over it, even though I doubt I'm the first to do so.

[sparklebyte]

no you aren’t a little autistic for not wanting to make eye contact sometimes no you aren’t a little bipolar for having a mood swing no you aren’t a little adhd for bouncing your leg no you aren’t a little depressed for wanting to stay in bed no you aren’t a little schizophrenic for mistakingly hearing a voice no you aren’t a little ocd for wanting the class desks to be straight stop characterizing disorders by one symptom stop trying to lighten and romanticize disorders by applying a normal thing to do to a disorder that impacts peoples lives stop trying to water down these disorders so you can make it about you and so you can make a joke off of other people’s lives because you want to be funny

[autisticlee]

"good people are out there you just need to get out and find them"

cool thanks. but i'm too tired to keep ~going out and looking for them~ i'm too tired to keep trying, using up all my energy, getting super overwhelmed and burnt out after just a couple weeks of trying as hard as I can, met with other people barely trying back or not being very responsive, and needing to recover from it for a year or more each time because it overwhelms and burns me out so bad. I get nowhere no matter how hard I try, all i get is uselesss advice from people i try to befriend who dont want the responsibility of friending me. i'm tired of trying beyond my limits and causing more issues for myself. or dealing with issues I get from meeting the "wrong" people. if the "right" people exist, why can't they find me? why does it have to be only my job? i'm too tired and overwhelmed and burnt out to do it!!!!! the right people will just easily help and be there for me right? so I guess i just have to keep waiting for them for all eternity????? i'm tired of waiting. give me more than "just wait/keep trying/don't give up" because those instructions unclear and my useless attempts are very discouraging and exhausting and i'm so overwhelmed that i'm losing the ability to even socialize at a minimum at all now!!!!

if humans are meant to be social creatures and we require positive interactions with each other to stay healthy, then why do humans ostracize their own? why do some of us struggle so much and are denied any help and instead blamed? why can't I be given advice on how to live a lonely life without anyone else by my side instead of being told "one day! keep trying! you need people because it's essential to being human!" even though i've been waiting for "one day" for 25 years and could wait 25 more, or even longer? I don't know what i'm doing wrong or how to improve it so waiting is all I have. what if I wait forever?

[gh0st-city]

I know people often talk about the certain amount of loneliness that comes with being autistic but I don't think non autists can really understand how soul crushingly profound it is

[nervousmonolith]

thinking about the whole twt scam situation ™ again ough

[soft-crimson]

.

[buildarocketboys]

Man nothing like talking to other writers to make you feel like you're not a proper writer

[sakebytheriver]

Okay. Let's talk about this post for a second

Now I think it starts off relatively okay

I'm not exactly a fan of people playing their music or the tiktok sounds from their phones without headphones, so I get the feeling but also at the same time I do think there's a huge world of difference between a person playing their speakers loud on a crowded bus or subway car and a person going on a hike in the middle of nature with a handful of other humans around them also going on that hike and bringing a speaker with them to listen to their music without their headphones getting in the way or getting sweaty while they walk

But then of course once we get through all of the people talking whimsically about some random musicians playing in public we get to the last response. Now I want you to notice how op said "speakers" but the last person said "boombox". And not just "boombox" but they said "a clown with a boombox". An absolutely hupothetical clown with a boombox mind you that they state that they would have gone out of their way to harrass just for existing in the same space as them playing music.

Now, we're about to get into the real big thing I wanna talk about with this post, so first things first can anyone in the class tell me what ethnic group is usually associated with boomboxes? Anyone? Hm? Oh yeah that's right. Black people. You know who is also more likely to be targeted by the police and their (white) neighbors for noise complaints? Oh yeah that's right. Black people. And darker skin people of color in general

Here's an article and a quote to give you proof if you want some

Like it's really not lost on me that this last response was also written by a seemingly progressive blog that literally has the word "politics" in their name even if I blocked it out for you guys. They literally perpetuated a racial microaggression and they probably don't even realize it.

Like look me right in my fucking eyes and tell me right now that you didn't read the words "clown with a boombox" and picture someone who looked like this

Like this language is so overtly charged I cannot believe liberals and progressives are just letting that shit slip by and get 10k notes without a single bit of pushback and instead just lots of agreement instead, like not one bit of self reflection to be had, huh? Not gonna think about the broader implications of the thing that you've just decided is an inherently bad thing because it slightly annoys you?

And look, I get it, I do. I am an autistic bitch who does not enjoy human beings who just let their shit go without headphones, but like. They're not doing anything except existing and taking up space in a way that you don't like

There is literally nothing different between a dude playing his little fiddle on the street corner and the kid playing his boombox on the same corner

They are just two human beings existing and taking up space in a way that brings them a modicum of joy and personally I'd rather just let them both live than try to enforce some arbitrary noise constraints against them which would ultimately just mean people of color get targeted, because if you don't know how society works by now after spending decades living in it, the dominant "In" group is the one that gets to decide what's "Litter" and what's "Adding Beauty"

Maybe take a look at your internal biases and ask yourself why you have such a problem with a kid holding a boombox on his shoulder, but not a guy with a guitar 🤷‍♀️

[jatlokgwo]

Holy shit!!

🌈🍓 genshin fan? On this webbed site????? Are we imagining things????

ya sorry im not radqueer i just like radkitty am transid though and dont care what people do or identify as as long as they dont hurt people ^^ (enless its like cnc i love nuance) and i dont like antiradqueers because ive never met 1 that wasnt ok with me dieing or erasing parts of me to make there worldview true speaking as an ex anti (my partners are genshin radqueers though!! lala is hsr themed right now and angel left tumblr because of harrasment)

!!!im also technicly a xiao fictive but the system disappeared!!!! waves!!!!! am every au and canon!!!! do you want to play together sometime??

[moredifferentthanusual]

Hey people of tumblr I have an idea of a way to help support Gaza. This one's especially for people living in Christian areas with a lot of mainstream acceptance of israel. It's only a few days until Christmas and as for all Gazans, things are incredibly desperate for the small population of Christian Gazans. In particular here are some articles talking about fears all Christians in Gaza will be dead soon.

So how about we call up our local churches and ask what they're doing to help the people of Palestine?

The articles I've linked come from a variety of backgrounds. Some predate oct 7th. All focus on the plight of Christians in Palestine. Take your pick for what source you think will speak to your audience.

I want you to find a church that is ignoring the genocide or even praying for israel and then point out it's not just people being murdered. It's their people being murdered. Contact your local church like "Hey I'm Name, I'm not really a member of any church these days but it's Christmas and I really want to do something to help people in Palestine. I was wondering if you have something planned over Christmas? Maybe a prayer meeting or a protest or something idk 🥺" Then if you recieve any pushback switch to "oh but I'm just sooooo worried about our fellow Christians unable to celebrate Christmas".

It's a great place to ease people into caring about genocide who normally wouldn't. And if you convince a priest they might tell their whole congregation about how this christmas they have to show up for persecuted christians in jesus' birthplace. Worth a try?

[kurtcore]

cried at work today! i’m now 3/3 for crying at jobs :)

[dashiellqvverty]

i do think the amount of comparisons between black sails and ofmd - both favorable and unfavorable tbh - is a little out of hand lmao like even before the flint vs stede poll there was a lot of it and its like. they are completely different shows with completely different goals. i just saw someone call ofmd a "black sails ripoff" and honestly what the fuck are you talking about. is black sails a pirates of the caribbean ripoff?? is there only allowed to be one television show about pirates and everything else is a copy?? or is it just the fact that there are also gay characters in it? im just like there are PLENTY of real and good criticisms why does it always come back to this. let them exist separately

[tabbyrocks]

My fun fact is that monoma name is (possibly) based off of the word monomaniac which basically means "exaggerated or obsessive enthusiasm for or preoccupation with one thing"

and that makes me go "This is literally just the description of a special interest monoma is literally autistic"

I REMEBER SEEING THAT!!!!

Im sure it just means his obsession with 1-a but actually suddenly i cant hear the people telling me that lalalallalalallala

hes SO autistic guys real not fake

also i like thinking abt his struggles to fit in with his class (them often telling other people around him when hes being overly silly that monoma is just a lot to deal with and to tone him out) is also so autistic.

i wish he had more screentime and character so he could be more autistic coded like izuku.

[xanderscollection]

Fantastic I finally feel like relaxing and writing, here I g—

Nevermind it's suddenly the busiest time of my life

[tokyoteddywolf]

22 isn't very much at all, I think.