#ive been trying to find “the right people” for like 25 years. im so tired of hearing “one day/eventually”
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autisticlee · 2 months ago
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"good people are out there you just need to get out and find them"
cool thanks. but i'm too tired to keep ~going out and looking for them~ i'm too tired to keep trying, using up all my energy, getting super overwhelmed and burnt out after just a couple weeks of trying as hard as I can, met with other people barely trying back or not being very responsive, and needing to recover from it for a year or more each time because it overwhelms and burns me out so bad. I get nowhere no matter how hard I try, all i get is uselesss advice from people i try to befriend who dont want the responsibility of friending me. i'm tired of trying beyond my limits and causing more issues for myself. or dealing with issues I get from meeting the "wrong" people. if the "right" people exist, why can't they find me? why does it have to be only my job? i'm too tired and overwhelmed and burnt out to do it!!!!! the right people will just easily help and be there for me right? so I guess i just have to keep waiting for them for all eternity????? i'm tired of waiting. give me more than "just wait/keep trying/don't give up" because those instructions unclear and my useless attempts are very discouraging and exhausting and i'm so overwhelmed that i'm losing the ability to even socialize at a minimum at all now!!!!
if humans are meant to be social creatures and we require positive interactions with each other to stay healthy, then why do humans ostracize their own? why do some of us struggle so much and are denied any help and instead blamed? why can't I be given advice on how to live a lonely life without anyone else by my side instead of being told "one day! keep trying! you need people because it's essential to being human!" even though i've been waiting for "one day" for 25 years and could wait 25 more, or even longer? I don't know what i'm doing wrong or how to improve it so waiting is all I have. what if I wait forever?
#ive been trying to find “the right people” for like 25 years. im so tired of hearing “one day/eventually”#i need people now. i admit i need help!!! i cant do life alone!!! but ONE DAY is not NOW. im struggling now. not later#why is it always “keep trying because ONE DAY” and never “heres how to deal with it now and if one day never comes”#because NOT EVERYONE GET THEIR “ONE DAY” AND IT FEELS AWFUL BEING GIVEN EMPTY PROMISES#AND IT FEELS AWFUL BEING IGNORED AND DENIED HELP *NOW* BECAUSE EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO REPLY ON A HYPOTHETICAL “ONE DAY”#IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF IT!!!!!!!!#lee rants#what if the “one day” where people actually care isnt until theyre at my funeral huh? because ive seen it happen.#autistic#autism#actually autistic#social problems#social issues#social isolation#adult autism#adult friendships#autism support#autistic friendship#this has been bothering me. i think its called toxic positivity. people throw it at me and it makes me feel worse. stop 😭#and “it happened to me so that means it will happen for you!” no it doesnt!!!!! you had better luck/circumstances. i dont have what you did#it doesnt inspire me or give me hope. it makes me feel more hopeless others can do stuff and i cant.#people were willing to help you but not me? youre not willing to now help me? what else do i do?#especially when people tell me they struggled for a few years. im glad you haven't struggled your whole life like me#and i know youre trying to be nice. but it doesnt help im sorry 😭😭😭😭😭
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hhhhhhgggguuu · 4 months ago
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i’m so tired. i got 3 hours of sleep last night and maybe 4 the night before? that’s a guess. the 3 is accurate tho. and it’s technically less than 3 if you count the minutes. i read your tweets tonight. i know they’re not about me. but i pretend they are sometimes. makes me feel important. makes me feel like someone is thinking about me. you’re not tho. and that’s okay. it sucks. but it’s still okay. i wish i could sleep. i wish there was an easier way to shut off my mind. i used to sleep all the time when you were here. you once told me that you liked when i fell asleep with you. you taught me that sleep is a very vulnerable state. you said your psychology class told you that if someone falls asleep around you it means they’re comfortable around you. they trust you. i used to sleep a lot around you. maybe it was the depression. maybe it was your mental health weighing down my mental health. either way i wish i could sleep like i did then. i sleep better when im not alone. prime example, family reunion last weekend. i was literally asleep from like 3pm-8pm and then again from like 11pm-10am. i was with my family. that’s where i feel most comfortable. i hate sleeping alone. i liked when i could move my foot to touch some part of you and know you were right there. i wasn’t alone. maybe it wasn’t you. maybe it was just the feeling of not being alone. as days go on i don’t think about you as much. don’t get me wrong, my mental state is just as vulnerable as a sleeping state. i have bad days. but who doesn’t. when there’s a lot going on i tend to miss you more because it’s hard to do it by yourself. it wouldn’t be better if you were here tho. you’d drag me down. i know that. but i like to look on the bright side. i like to think of all the good times. not the times you had me slamming my head into the door. not the time that our neighbors called the cops on us because i was screaming, bawling, begging you to care. you just shut down. i should have known better. i’ve been through a lot of therapy. and ive grown since then. i fully believe in the 25 year old mindset. frontal lobe is close to being fully developed and you start to question relationships in the life, or reflect on immature decisions you made. that was an immature decision i made. not an excuse but i was drunk and feeling unloved and uncared for. i was valid tho. i was being unloved and i wasn’t being cared for. but that’s okay. you were finding (im honestly not sure you’ve found it) self love and when i was younger it used to irritate me and really piss me off when people said “you can’t love anyone else until you love yourself”. i think it would rub me the wrong way because i was always like “i do love myself tho, i think im a good person, i think im a nice person, etc etc” and that statement implied that i didnt. no one really knows how youre feeling. everyone’s perception of life is different and reality is about individuality. we will never be able to know what someone else is going through despite how hard we try. its true. all that is true and that statement people said, its true. thats why i was able love as hard and as deeply as i did with you. i loved myself and was able to move to the next stage of sharing that with someone else you’d like my new tattoo. i just got it 2 days ago. i got the other one in June. you’d like them. you probably would have gone with me to get them. you wouldn’t be at work we know that. you don’t have a work ethic. that’s okay, you were never given the opportunity. you were shown but you were never given the opportunity. you can’t help that. i do miss you tho. i miss our conversations, i miss watching shows together. you’d like the new living room set up. i got those govee lights behind the tv that reflect the colors of the tv around the tv at night. it looks cool because of the way the living room is laid out. how the wall that tv is on is like a little nook. it makes the lights seem brighter as they bounce and reflect off the wall. i bought them with my $100 gift card i got from work. i’ve been working a lot
to be continued…
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stumbleintothesun · 4 years ago
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Life Rant
For the few people in here...sorry lmao this is long as hell.
Lately I've been feeling like...garbage. I know there's no one on this place that really follows me, so this is me posting to the void.
I have been dealing with a lot of health issues related to my mental health and weight. I've gained nearly twenty pounds in a year, and no matter what I do my weight doesn't budge. I work out regularly, Ive been trying to eat better but...my only thought is its because I'm working a desk job now - which I fucking hate with a fury. And I know my weight isnt the end of the world - it just really, really fucks with my mental health. I've always felt ugly. The only time I didn't was when I was super thin which I know is problematic - and I know that's part of my mental health...like my aunt died from an ED. And my mom definitely had/has an ED even if she's gotten much better about it in the past few years...
And I'm finally getting my face to clear up after wearing these masks for a year - a year! But I'm still dealing with the healing process and I'm anxious it will scar. I've worked this entire pandemic at a job I *hate* just to you know, finally pay off my student loans just go back to school so maybe I can do something I love. But even at 25 and providing for myself, I hardly got any financial help. The only thing saving me is my grades that got me a decent transfer scholarship.
But the first school I applied to wanted my high school transcript, even though I have an associate's degree, and because I'm, frankly, stupid I somehow missed that they needed it. So they threw out my application that I spent an otherwise four hours writing for.
So I'm going to Eastern, which frankly will be better for my mental health, but they don't have a tuition free program. So I'm going to have to borrow money after just finally paying off my single year at a liberal arts college debt that I took on when I was 17 (it ended up being like 30k to pay off). And it's all because I didn't fucking read right. So much for being a good student, I guess.
But it wouldn't have mattered because they would've hardly taken any of my classes despite most of them being from down the road and for an associate's degree! And even Eastern is giving me a hard time, despite my degree they say I don't have the basic level biology course - my degree is biology focused! I'm going into ecology! I have taken genetics, conservation biology, anatomy and physiology, cellular biology but I don't have intro bio? So now I have to test out, on top of working full time. Which is fine, its a good refresher...I'm just so overwhelmed with life right now. I have a stack of over 100 flash cards and I'm just anxious.
This is a year after my partner went through an ugly break up with their old fiance (we were poly), and their ex was an abusive POS who once told them if they came out as anything other than their assigned gender, he wouldn't date them anymore. He gaslit them constantly, made them feel like hell. So we finally got out, but he wanted the house they got together or 10k. He made over double what they make - and he always forced them to pay half the bills, including half of his fucking protein bullshit because it was "groceries." He knew they didn't have the funds. Because our friends are amazing, we were able to buy him off but he left the house trashed.
It fucking sucked, and they were also responsible for getting his name off the house which meant a refinance that we could hardly afford. We got lucky we were able to do it, but they hardly got anything back for it. And it was a *nightmare*. We finally got it done, after pulling teeth and it took six months. Four months longer than they said. And that entire time they were forced to occasionally reach out to him, their old abuser.
Finally we were free, but then I started having further issues at work. Between the pandemic, and working in a heavily red area during the election, I cried a lot. I work in customer service and while I make okay money for the industry, I'm constantly burned out. My colleagues are okay, but it feels stupid to leave just to find a job for three months to go back to school. Then I started being short in my drawer (I'm a teller at a bank). The final straw was being short $500. Now I'm on a work plan, and if Im short again, I'm out. And it's my fault. I don't know how it has been happening. So now I'm always on edge at work, triple checking everything. And I could leave, I could get another job but there's no promise I'll make what I do now, and in order for me to pay for the chunk of school I need to, I have to put away a certain amount every month.
I do have a grant of sorts for 5k per semester to help with bills, which will alleviate a lot once August arrives. And I know I'm crazy lucky to have that. So sometimes I feel like such an asshole about it. But we have a house to pay for and bills to pay. Just like everyone else. Ugh, I don't know.
I talked to my doctor about my weight, came in with calorie intake numbers and how much I work out with zero change. I cut out pop entirely from drinking it every day. Nothing has helped. So we switched my meds from Lexapro to Wellbutrin to see if I lose weight because of that. Nope, just having more mental break downs, steady weight, and my resting heart rate is abnormally high, stopping me from making a little extra cash donating plasma. So now I'm switching back to Lexapro with nothing gained other than. You know. Feeling like shit. Next up? Birth control coming out of my arm. Don't really need it anyway. And maybe that will help? But I don't think so. I'm not sure what to do.
I am genuinely trying to be healthy, eating more whole foods. More veggies. More home cooked meals. I love to cook, I'm just tired. And sometimes the air fryer and oven baked frozen foods are too easy to pass up. I'm trying to always eat breakfast. I'm working out again, we have a gym membership but there are so many men there and I dont always feel comfortable, because my partner has been anemic and they can't go yet. So I use our bike in the living room and do home workouts.
But when I did this last time there was zero change in weight or anything. Even when I ate really, really clean for three weeks and worked out for most days, tracking calories and everything. Nothing changed. My thyroid is fine, we've already checked it. I'm just tired.
This past year, other than being with my partner has fucking sucked. And this doesn't even cover all the shit they've dealt with with switching to they/them and a name change. I love them so much, and love that they are finally comfy but their parents were assholes about it. And that matters. It does, and I get it. I just wish I could help them more. I wish we had a break, a breather for longer than a day. Even then I can't relax, I'm too on edge. There's too much to be done. I need to earn money, I need to clean, I need to focus. I need to be productive in some way to justify if I'm not working on those things. It's...all dumb.
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bastardguy · 4 years ago
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(haha there's very icky thoughts in this so don't read if it triggers ye, if anyone's reading this lmao) boy! it's one of those nights ain't it haha. ultrasadness. i dont have people to talk to which, yknow i feel like a lot of people don't have others to talk to. but anyways! i am sad! f! the most annoying aspect of myself i dislike is how one moment im daydreaming because hehe escapism and dont wanna talking to people at all then the, next moment im unbearably sad and i wanna! have friends that aren't people from my imagination. it's my fault, yep, its allll my fault, im not even trying to be sarcastic here, i know i should actively seek out people to be friends with them but!! im in my element to run around pretending i made fucking animations for my friend group that also exists! totally! it makes me feel great and content until i realise its not real! god am i pathetic haha! how do i improve ? how? why am i like this? is it because my brain views my escapism as safer and more wondrous then reality? to the po in t talking to people just? bore me? it's weird as hell, im probably just a selfish git but i genuinely look at chats and either go "conversation going,, i no want join cause rude" or "there's no point they're all so boring. being alive is boring. your life, your personality, you as a person is boring. that's why he left. he left for someone else he already had plans with, someone who he can actually see regularly in person in the future, someone who makes him happy. you never made him happy. he was miserable being stuck with you, that's why he left, that's why he immediately got into another relationship with someone else. you're why he lied to you, you're the problem, he hates you, you were an abusive fuck who couldn't keep his mouth shut and never changed. he's going to spend years being happy with someone and he's glad he's left you. he hates you. he hates you. he hates you. he hates you. you're the problem. don't ever try again, you don't have thr privlage to die, not yet. wait until everyone's finally tired of your manuplitive, selfish shit then kill yourself. die. just fucking die. just die. no one will stay loving you, you'll be forgotten, why did you say so much? you're fucking obsessive and its all your fault. you existing in the first place was a mistake, when have you ever brought joy to people? when had anyone be glad that you're here? you're better off dead, you're better off dead. you know if she had the choice mother would pick a normal person as a child in a heartbeat. you know if she knew you were going to turn out this way she would have fucking killed you herself because you've been nothing a burden. she'll leave, just like he left and everyone else did. so what if you just followed along with everything they were saying? you should've been smart enough not to be a dick you asshole. anyone that comes into your life will leave, everyone will leave, everyone is going to leave. even thinking about this you're cementing it, it's going to happen because you're thinking so hard about it. all bad things happen to you because you think about them. it's your fault. every bad thing that happens is your fault, you deserve all the slander that will come to you, you will die alone. you will die alone. no one will miss you, you've had a sad pathetic lonely life being unwanted. and it's all your fault. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. you ungrateful, selfish bastard-" and its very unpog i dont like my brain.
i wish i could find life enjoyable again, i wish i liked talking to multiple people, i wish i had multiple people to talk to. i wish i, didn't have these fucking attachment and abandonment issues that just make me terrified of being close with someone again. i think i have rejection sensitive dysphoria and oh! boy! MM. an internal conflict of "do i have adhd or is it just my anxiety and life long loneliness" had been going on in my brain. because if i had adhd i think thatd explain, a lot actually uYubun, but also those symptoms could stem from uhh, childhood issues and stuff pfft. like id be socially withdrawn and daydream a lot, to the point where i avoided playing with other kids just so i could walk around the yard to think about stuff, which are symptoms of adhd but also it's because "brain got lowkey traumatised being neglected on a plane for so long as a baby without its mother then just got whipped around the country serveral times giving me 0 safe secure places." i, i don't know man. that's a lot i have to talk with my therapist in like half an hour haha.
wow i talk about my problems too much this is why he left me 😩
a ok uhm, uh, yea! im very lonely haha. there's like, a person who i could chat with but i dont want to bother them. they're a good friend but they've been busy and i feel like im highkey using them. which is not pog at all! im not fun to talk with and im very annoying hahaha!
why are people so untrustworthy. why am i sad? only god knows but im god, so god doesn't know.
i think me despretly trying to talk to someone while im sad is so, utterly selfish and pathetic. i mean come on man why only now? haha.
i mean i did start to emulate a lot of his bad behaviour but! it's ok i know what's bad to do know and ive learnt from this experience and am moving forward.
where does forward lead? i dont know! probably jobless and suicide but hahaha! im not gonna make it past 25 baby! im gonna fall in love with someone then they'll leave forever and ill die!! After my mum gets sick of me!! hahhaha!!!!! im not unstable right now, i don't even wanna die! that'd be so selfish id break my parents! haha! i want someone to love me as much as i love them and to hold them in my arms! i wanna be comfortable with someone! i wanna be held! i want someone who won't cheat on me!! i wanna be loved!! woohooo!!! that's all i want! yknow what else i want? a friend group thats genuinely happy to see me! people i can eat lunch with and laugh with! people that don't make me feel small and pathetic! and why can't i have that? because im a piece of filth that doenst deserve any of it because ive done nothing to earn it! how the fuck do i do stuff! to talk! how do i not feel hopeless and small all the time? no matter what i fucking say im going to be yelled at for not being positive! fuck! fuck. fuck you.
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wormssss · 4 years ago
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so. basically. tl;dr i ffuucking hate school it sucks and it doesnt. do ANYTHING but make things worse . anyway.
the schooling system like. it sucks for me specifically in a few ways idk abt anyone else. for starters; neurodivergency literally at all makes it so hard to function in a classroom environment. its so loud? idk if anyone else gets that in their classrooms but you can hear my class of 23~ from the bottom floor of the 3 story building and that’s considered quiet. as well as like, i cannot function in a classroom without my friends? im out at school and like.... everyones.. transphobic obv why wouldnt they be, and its not in like a..any avoidable way. if i sit with the guys they’ll refuse to talk to me and deadname me all period adn if i sit with the girls theyll laugh at me every time i fucking breathe idk, but the school still thinks putting me in a classroom with kids that visibly hate me and see me as a CRINGE ENTERTAINMENT IRONY MACHINE is like a good idea? and a good way for me to make friends? i dont know if its my luck or if they’re deliberately doing it, but, next term for example i have drama and cooking as classes. two of my friends also have cooking ....but they dont have me in their class. they’re together. but im not in their class. im on my own because other than them and the girl who already did cooking these past two terms (so she cant do it next term) i have.... no other friends. so im definitely in a class of complete strangers! and the way they have this school, you have no choice but to work with someone else in a cooking class...... you are paired with someone in the same mini kitchen and its a disaster but i digress.
also, like. school goes for 6 hours. by the time you get home and get changed and get settled, its sunset so you can’t go out and do anything. you can’t go to the park or climb a tree. youre stuck inside. your family is like groggy from work or whatever and doesnt want to talk to you. you have no energy to get online and talk to your friends online. or theyre asleep. so basically at least for me i get... no time to actually talk to my friends, for example i havent had an actual conversation with piper in like... two months i swear. we’ve forgotten how to talk to eachother and that actually goes with all of my friends. by the weekend we’re still awkward because we havent spoken in months so we can’t really even talk. and because of this rigid like, routine you have to have to actually be able to go to school at all (wake up 7. eat. get dressed. go to school. come home. get changed. eat. shower. go to bed. repeat), i actually like.... find myself. forgetting Everything. i dont know what it is about strict routine where i cannot be myself (my school has a strict and ugly uniform), but it makes me ... completely forget everything slowly and my memory decays. my time blindness gets worse to the point where i dont know what month it is on a regular basis and like... i ditch a lot? because of this? maybe if the schedule didnt make me dissociate and forget everything i wouldnt ditch constantly and like. actually go to school. but like my attendance is... im not at school 25% of the time because i physically cannot go every single day and attend to that rigid and exact cycle that doesnt even teach me anything
doesnt even teach me anything? i dont ... learn anything from school. they like. reteach the same meaningless part of a subject every single year. every year in religious studies in october i learn about the rosary and we spend a lot of the period praying the rosary and i like. ok. cool. its a religious school yeah but what am i actually learning from this. and every year in social studies we learn abt the waitangi treaty but the way they teach it is so whitewashed and utopian and its fucked and they teach it the same way every year around the same time. and anzac day. and in math im not going to use any of those skills you teach me, i dont care about algebra or anything because thats not really going to actually help me in my life im an artist for fucks sake teach me about managing my own finances! teach me how to do taxes! teach me how to function in the society i live in! teach me the important things that ill sink under or die without knowing i want to actually know important things but by cramming so many unimportant things in my brain all the time i forget the actual important things, i fucking failed basic addition and subtraction last year, i’ve forgotten division and multiplication past the 10 times table, but i can vaguely read an algebra equasion BUT FUCKING ALGEBRA EQUASIONS WILL NEVER UFCKING GET ME ANYWJERE!!!!! and it makes me so fucking angry i want to learn and function and KNOW
and the way they tightly bundle everyone to being one conforming individual who dresses like everyone else, is at the same intelligence level as everyone else, is a catholic like everyone else, does not question authority as everyone else or does not question themselves like everyone else or think like anyone else OR BE DIFFERENT THAN ANYONE ELSE makes me want to FUCKING THROW UP. there are so many hopes and dreams that i remember watching from primary school to now sink into a hopeless pit of stereotypes and basic conformity, people who used to be nice are suffocated into being horrible people so that theyre liked by their peers or get anny attention from the school at all, guys who used to respect women (god forbid) suddenly becoming horrible to anyone of any slightly different gender identity but you can actually see on their face how weird it is to them, waves of 11-14 year olds getting nose studs that get infected and they’re forced to have them taken out by the school, kids trying to do their makeup to look like SOMEONE to BE AT ALL DIFFERENT FROM ANYONE ELSE are put right back in their place and told to take it all off and their parents are called and if youre caught with the wrong jacket your parents are called and youre told youre too poor to wear what the school provides yet THEY DONT EVEN LET YOU WEAR WHAT THE SCHOOL PROVIDES WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 70 DOLLAR HOODIE FOR WHEN YOU WONT LET ME WEAR IT WHILE IM SHIVERING I DONT SEE THE POINT OF ENFORCING SUCH TIGHT POINTLESS SMALL BOUNDARIES OF WHAT A PERSON CAN BE WHY IS IT SO LIMITED? are we not allowed to do anything? you cant even have one strip of hair dye yet a teacher can have a full head of bright purple hair what’s that about? you can have antisemetic pins on your senior year blazer jacket but the second you put a pride pin on there youre called to the principals office and asked why youre promoting this to kids
you try a speech on trans rights and they dont even pass you and pretend its because you got over the time limit but you didnt, you timed it yourself for your friends you didnt get over the time limit and you know it but you didnt even place in fourth you placed last out of 6 or 8 and you wonder why that is because every year in the past you soared into first so whats that about???? in my speech i said be yourself and dont be afraid to experiment with your gender lightly and they told me to take it out because its seen as too much and i said what the fuck? that’s the most important part of my speech, i want to promote acceptance in others and the self and they said take it out or you cant present your speech. they actively suffocate any sort of self expression or nonconformity of any sort you have to be a plain cookiecutter boy or girl and thats it you cannot be anything else, for nearly 6 months theyve fought me and my mom about my hair but if anyones being hurt by it its me because it draws more attention to the kid you can call slurs, are you hurt because im actually expressing myself? are you hurt by my little sharp stud earrings and my industrial piercing and the embroidered cuff on my shirt? are you offended by the heart on my belt or the platforms on my school shoes because the last time i checked none of these were illegal things to have at school
this kind  of got a lot angrier than i meant to make it but ive been . really angry abt this for the past year idk. i really just wanted to write this because i ahvent spoken to piper properly in months and the way we talk now seems like when we just met but i cannot carry a conversation anymore because school knocked the wind out of me all over again and the sudden inability to talk to any of my friends online makes me want to scream until my lungs give out im so tired
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chimcharstar · 5 years ago
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1 THROUGH 55 AND 1 THROUGH 30 GO GO GO
LETS FUCKIN GO
tumblr please actually make this a keep reading
55 interesting questions you should drop in someone’s inbox
1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?
I ALREADY WATCH NETFLIX AND AGONIZE OVER MY STORY
2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you’ve own/owned?
MY JACKETS. ANY CHEST OBSCURING, BROAD SHOULDERED, COZY JACKET
3. What hobbies would you get into if time and money wasn’t an issue?
DANCING, ID NEED TO GO TO CLASSES OR SOMETHING
4. What would your perfect room look like?
IM ACTUALLY PRETTY HAPPY WITH MY ROOM BUT IVE ALWAYS WANTED A LAVA LAMP, AND 1800 MORE PLANTS COULDNT HURT
5. Do you play sports?
NO
6. What fiction place would you love to go to?
SINNOH REGION
7. What Job would you be terrible at?
DEBT COLLECTION. I WOULD BE GIVING SHIT TO PEOPLE FOR FREE. I COULDNT BEAR BEING ENCOURAGED TO FORCE PEOPLE WHO CANT PAY FOR SOMETHING TO PAY MORE
8. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would it be?
SERVING. HOW MANY PLATES CAN YOU CARRY AT ONCE
9. What’s the most annoy habit other people have?
WALKING IN MY SPACE BUBBLE WHEN MY SENSES ARE OVERLOADED
10. What skill would you like to master?
A SECOND LANGUAGE
11. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?
THE ONE FROM MY DREAM WHERE I KISSED A GIRL DYED MY HAIR BLUE AND WE ELOPED TO BRAZIL TO RAISE SHEEP
12. What’s your favorite drink ?
THAT CHRISTMAS SHIT. PEPPERMINT MOCHA AT STARBUCKS. A FRIEND GOT IT FOR ME ONCE. NOW I ORDER IT A BILLION TIMES.
13. What state or country would you never like to go back to?
I HAVE NOT TRAVELLED MUCH EVER
14. What songs do you have completely memorized?
I DONT REMEMBER LYRICS SO MUCH, BUT I COULD PROBABLY REMEMBER HOW MANY SONGS GO COMPLETELY
15. Are you usually early or late?
LATE. IM GETTING BETTER THOUGH
16. What takes up too much of your time?
GETTING OUT OF BED
17. What do you wish you knew more about?
SWORDS
18. What are some small things that make your day better?
COFFEE. SOMEONE SAYING SOMETHING NICE TO ME.
19. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?
QUEER EYE BUT BY TRANS PEOPLE FOR TRANS PEOPLE
20. Who has impressed you the most with what they’ve accomplished?
YOU. AND ME. ITS GROWTH
21. What age do you wish you can permanently be?
21, SO I HAVE TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCKS GOING ON
22. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?
13 REASONS, THE BOOK WAS TRIGGERING SO I WONT RISK IT
23. What would be your ideal way to spend you weekend?
TAKING A WALK, HAVING COFFEE, WATERING PLANTS… IM HAPPY
24. What’s something in your life that’s considered a luxury?
I HAVE PERFUME...
25. Is there anything you’re too young/old for?
TO YOUNG TO NEVER DRINK. TOO OLD FOR POKEMON
26. What’s your favorite genre book or movie?
I DONT HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN FOR EITHER BUT I SEEM TO LIKE URBAN FANTASY A LOT
27. How often do you people watch?
I THINK IM SO POLITE BUT HONESTLY, I QUIETLY SCRUTINIZE SO MANY PEOPLE ON THE TRAIN EVERY DAY AND GUESS AT THEIR PERSONAL HABITS AND SELF IMAGE.
28. What’s the best single day on the calendar?
MY BIRTHDAY, SAGITTARIUS SEASON RULES BABY
29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?
I DONT KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING PPL HAVENT HEARD OF BUT IM INTERESTED IN BLACK HOLES
30. Do you relax after a hard day?
FOOD. NETFLIX. DECOMPOSING ON TUMBLR
31. What’s the best book or series you’ve ever read?
I HAVENT READ A BOOK I REALLY LOVE IN AGES. HARRY POTTER AND ARTEMIS FOWL WERE MY FAVOURITES GROWING UP, BUT CORNELIA FUNKES BOOKS SLAPPED AND HIS DARK MATERIALS WAS GORGEOUS
32. Where’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?
IDAHO?
33. What’s the most heart warming thing you’ve ever seen?
LUCIFER WAS LIKE YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR BORING MIDDLE NAME JANE AND KNOWS THAT EVERY MURDER BREAKS YOUR HEART AND YOU SIMPLY DESERVE BETTER SO NO MORE MOMENTS WHILE THEYRE HAVING A MOMENT AND CHLOE IS WATCHING THIS FUCKING IDIOT AND IVE WATCHED THIS BEFORE SO I KNOW SHES GONNA KISS HIM AND THEN THEY KISS
34. What’s the most annoying question that people ask you?
ANY SMALL TALK QUESTIONS
35. Would you give a 40 minute presentation with no preparation?
YES. ID MAKE THAT SHIT RIGHT UP. SKILLS
36. What’s something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?
GIVE ME A HUG AND SOME CHOCOLATE
37. Would you rather go Hand Gliding or Whitewater rafting?
HANG GLIDING
38. Dream car?
SOMETHING I DONT HAVE TO WORRY WILL FALL INTO PIECES AT ANY MOMENT
39. What’s something so many people are obsessed with and you just don’t understand why?
STRAIGHT LOVE SONGS
40. What are you most looking forward to in 10 years from now?
HAVING A CAT
41. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t gotten to it?
DECORATING THE DOLLHOUSE I RESCUED FROM THE BATHROOM
42. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you all week?
IM NOT VERY FAR THROUGH THE WEEK AND I HAVENT ENJOYED MOST OF IT BUT PEOPLE SAYING ADORABLE THINGS
43. How different was your life one year ago?
NOT A LOT DIFFERENT, IM JUST LONELY IN THE CITY NOW, MINUS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, ONE YEAR ON T
44. What/who would you rate 10/10?
MY CACTUS JAKEN. I DROPPED HIM SO MANY TIMES AN ENTIRE HALF OF HIS SPIKES ARE FLAT SCARS. AND LOOK AT HIM. THRIVING
45. What kind of art do you enjoy the most?
GENUINELY MADE ART
46. What do you hope never changes?
MY T PRESCRIPTION
47. What movie title best describes your life?
I LOOKED THROUGH NETFLIX AND I PICK TWILIGHT
48. What website do you visit most often?
TUMBLR
49. What’s something you’re looking forward to this year?
MY BIRTHDAY
50. What’s something you’d like to unlearn?
FINDING A REASON TO CANCEL EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING
51. Where would you spend all your time if you could?
WALKING BY SOME RUNNING WATER
52. What age would you like to live to?
80. THATS MY MENTAL HEALTH ANSWER
53. What’s something you’re most likely to become famous for?
SOMETHING CREATIVE WOULD BE AWESOME
54. What’s something you’re most likely to be arrested for?
CRIMES
55. What’s something you really want but can’t afford?
A CAT
Lgbt+ ask game
What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?
I’m even a little shaken by a questioning state right now but for a while I’ve felt the best fit is the androgynous label -- I read a description of it being the purple on a pink to blue scale, both at once but not specifically either one, and something else by itself. I’m also happy with a cryptic masculine grey area. My pronouns are he/him.
How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?
During the Puberty 1.0 nightmare, I was basically living someone else’s life, and any attraction I felt wasn’t in relation to myself. I felt disconnected from my body and gender and everything too, and I felt a lot of social pressure to experience a certain type of attraction, fit into a certain role, et cetera, and none of these feelings existed in me at all, so I used to identify as ace. When I realized I was trans, I was too caught up in the, transition safely, my life is a lie, stopping dysphoria drama to focus on this, but I had an idea I might be a gay guy judging from my gay creative writing until I caught feelings for a girl and realized this wasn’t the first time that had happened. Some bi positivity and nonbinary rage later, I am reminded that gender is a joke.
Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?
Yes of course A LOT. Starting with my parents, who do it aggressively and maliciously. And plenty from strangers and customers, mostly after hearing my voice pre-transition. It used to hurt terribly because I was dealing with so much other stuff at the time, and one little thing could be the last straw, so I used to react strongly and harshly, to people you express yourself to anyway. On T, I’ve been so much more chill and confident, and it’s less painful to accept that some people just don’t know any better, although that doesn’t change its effect.
Who was the first person you told, how did they react?
I don’t remember, I think it was a high school friend. I vaguely remember texting someone in a bathroom during a crying session at work. My high school friends were all warm and supportive.
Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?
It was scary as hell. I’m sure coming out (with your gender specifically) is scary by nature because it’s a huge truth to be telling that can really change how the people you love perceive you, for better or for worse, but for me, I’m also thinking with the dread and certainty that my family would be too conservative and potentially dangerous. Coming out to my family was one of the worst, most painful things I’ve ever been through -- being kicked out and laughed at, a lot of drama, confrontations, Bible readings and being ganged up on at odd hours, trying to comfort my mom who took it as her personal failure -- I was shaking with adrenaline 24/7. I think of the “I’ll suffer through anything as long as it has meaning” comment that was about angsty fanfics, but knowing the truth about myself was a source of unshakable strength and it felt refreshing and even triumphant to say, like I was giving myself permission to exist for the first time. I came out a bunch of times, though...
If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?
My family reacted mostly badly, my sister is a little confused but has the spirit, and my friends have been wonderful.
What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?
It’s more of a gender thing, but I hate it when people imply that I shouldn’t be on T or are subtly trying to talk me out of it with their questions. After all the disrespectful as fuck bullshit I heard from my parents, I’m tired of this.
Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.
Zombie apocalypse denim? Gay Layers
Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?
I’m not really emotionally invested in these “ships” you cool kids are talking about. I like canon, age-appropriate ones.
What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?
I’ve never really worn makeup. I brazenly never bothered to growing up, and if it had an effect on me socially, I was too tuned out to care. My sister always wanted to do my hair and makeup, but I wasn’t interested and wouldn’t let her, much to her frustration. I wore some for a musical once though, and I had no idea what I was doing and it was extremely uncomfortable. I felt what I know now is dysphoria and ended up using the lipstick to draw. Another aspect to this is my family forbade it (or my dad made the decision for everyone), not that it made my sister feel less pressured to wear it, so maybe it was some female presentation I could easily get out of. For that reason, I don’t have super strong feelings about it. Not understanding it probably resulted in me feeling left out a lot among my peers.
Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?
Yes. Before my realization, it was a numb horror I wasn’t consciously aware of, ruining nice things growing up to the point where I feel like I missed out on being a teenager. I remember it as feeling nauseous while sitting in a corner, feeling like none of my clothes ever fit for some mysterious reason. Living with my family in the closet, it defined my life, and I was obsessed with my presentation. These days, it does not bother me on that level at all, except a minor freakout now and then if I get really wild and wear feminine clothes. Or I still feel it in more subtle ways, when I default to customer service voice, or when guys my age are twice my height and I look aaaall the way up at them and wonder what gender they see me as.
What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?
Trust me, I have heard truck loads of dumb shit and the winner is the Gay Agenda is R****a’s propaganda to weaken the integrity of North America. Considering what is happening over there, it was enragingly stupid.
What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?
I feel like I can be myself around lgbt+ people. I don’t feel like I have to hide stuff or put on a show, and I’m not afraid because it’s familiar territory.
What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?
Aside from obvious problems like TERFs, ace discourse. Ace people are part of the community if they want to be and that’s enough on that, my skin is already breaking out.
Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?
I finally went to a Pride event this year! I was surprised it was the first one I’d been to, then remembered my parents discouraged me from going anywhere, never mind to a gay where.
Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?
I can’t think of many people right now, but Leslie Feinberg seems awesome, and some quotes from Stone Butch Blues are very validating.
Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?
No. Technically I have been in one, but it was shitty and ridiculous, and basically platonic, and I don’t want it to count.
What is your favourite lgbt+ book?
I barely read… I read Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe in high school and it was honestly so precious.
Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?
Yes. I got kicked out (but then kicked back in again), had my stuff stolen and damaged, was verbally harassed… and I was indirectly fired by an employer, but We Will Never Know Why...
Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?
Queer Eye! I don’t know of many though, and some important ones, I just haven’t watched.
Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?
My mutuals :D
Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?
I’m okay calling myself queer.
Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?
No, but I did see some drag performances at the one (1) Pride event I went to, and they were jaw-dropping.
How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?
I’m not sure what this question means, but I decide what fits right by what makes me feel the most alive and emotionally real and in the moment. What makes me feel the most attractive to be honest. There’s a post about dysphoria I saw going around, the things on it are basically what I use to figure things out.
Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?
I am actually! Not anytime soon, but I’m the responsible type for sure, and judging by the way I love growing plants and being around animals, I’m probably a nurturing person. I actually like kids too, lol, they’re just so high-energy.
What identity advice would you give your younger self?
You’re a boy. Go!
What do you think of gender roles in relationships?
I think people are going to have different ways of expressing themselves that make them happy, but… I don’t think they should infringe on basic human decency. When I hear “role” I think of acting a certain way because someone told you to, something I want to disagree with on the spot.
Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?
People move out of my way on the sidewalk and take me seriously now. Privilege or self-confidence… I never want to forget what it used to be like, or get too entitled.
What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?
That it’s simply living one’s reality. I think that trips up a lot of straight people -- that some people just come like this, and they don’t have to make it fit into their personal identity.
Why are proud to be lgbt+?
Because I worked hard to be alive and happy right now. I’m proud of choosing to get through those rough patches, take care of myself, heal, take walks, cook breakfast, learn healthy coping mechanisms, that was out of love for myself and a defiant conviction that I have a place in this world.
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julianmakesmydickhard · 6 years ago
Text
uncomfortably deep and personal questions
questions here
————
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
thankfully, me and my mom are super close.... we don’t talk about my dad tho
02: Who’s the last person you said “i love you” too?
man, i tell everyone that i love them. i truly love everyone that shows even the slightest bit of kindness towards me
03: Do you regret anything?
yes,
04: Are you insecure?
oh yea. part of it is my introverted, soft spoken personality, and part of it is just how negatively i see myself oop
05: What is your relationship status?
single, unfortunately lol
06: How do you want to die?
painlessly. the pain that comes with death is what scares me the most i think
07: When did you last eat?
lunch!! i had a bomb ass colombian dish,, man do my people know how cook good food
08: Played any sports?
does show choir count?? aggressive dancing with aggressive singing??
09: Do you bite your nails?
nope
10: When was your last physical fight?
i know i say that i want to slap people sometimes, but i’ve never actually done it
11: Do you like someone?
y’all, im always attracted to someone sksksk
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
yup
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
yes, but we don’t talk about him
14: Do you miss someone?
oh god yes...
15: Have any pets?
yes!! i have one lil doggie
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?
i’m very tired lol. it’s like 11pm which is v late for me since i have 7am classes
17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
nope, bathrooms are gross
18: Are you scared of spiders?
yes, have you seen them??
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
yes, imagine all the things you could change or prevent
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?
honestly, it’s been a while, i don’t really remember
21: What are your plans for this weekend?
i’m gonna go see a play that one of my friends is starring in on saturday and then i’m gonna celebrate my birthday with my doggo on sunday
22: Do you want to have kids? How many?
ahh, this is such a difficult question. i want to give my kids the childhood that i never got. but what happens if by some circumstance, i give them the childhood i had, and negatively impact their life through it?
23: Do you have piercings? How many?
i just have my ears pierced
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
english and art! math and science are my worst. i guess i function best when i’m able to use the creative and imaginative side of me whereas i fail when logic and reason come into play
25: Do you miss anyone from your past?
yes yes yes and yes
26: What are you craving right now?
blueberries
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
no, never
28: Have you ever been cheated on?
yes
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
no. unless something changed in their heart and they, for some reason, felt bad for treating me so badly, and decided to weep, no
30: What’s irritating you right now?
so many things ahhh,, why do i have to be so introverted? why am i so deperate to find love, when it keeps biting me in the butt?.why can’t i make friends as easily as other people?
31: Does somebody love you?
honestly, i don’t think anyone does, maybe only my mother?
32: What is your favourite color?
auburn
33: Do you have trust issues?
oh god i wish i did. i wish i was able to keep people at a distance. i let people in and basically ask them to use my secrets, my insecurities, my whatever, to break me. and then the cycle goes on and on
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
i dreamt about me meeting billie eilish a couple of days ago. it was v nice
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
i don’t know lol, there’s not a lot of people around to see me cry i guess
36: Do you give out second chances too easily?
yea, it’s not good i know
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
forgive
38: Is this year the best year of your life?
no, but it’s definitely not the worst, and i’m thankful for that
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
i don’t remember, but i do know that i was v late to the game
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
god no
51: Favourite food?
colombian food, thai food, japanese food
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
i want to believe this, but sometimes shitty things happen and i’m like wow, there’s literally no benefit or reason to why this happened except to make me feel like shit
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
kissed my doggo goodnight
54: Is cheating ever okay?
if you’re my friend, i’m just gonna say that even if you’ve cheated on someone before, i don’t see you as less of a person or a friend. people make mistakes, and it’s also part of who i am: someone who tried to look past the bad and see the good, ahhh i don’t know how to explain this the right way but i hope you understand my pov. anyways, i’ve been cheated on before and it sucked balls. so no, i don’t think it’s ever ok in a relationship. but i also don’t think that it’s something that should affect your friendship with someone. i think cheating is something that needs to be dealt with among the cheater and the cheated and shouldn’t bleed into your friendship with a random, uninvolved person. but you can totally disagree with me and that’s fine!! everyone is subject to their own opinion based on their own experiences and personalities etc.
55: Are you mean?
i don’t think so!! but then again, i can’t really be the judge of that lol. i try my hardest to be the friend that i’ve always wanted, if that makes sense. i try to be kind, and supportive, and positive, and there for them, etc.
56: How many people have you fist fought?
no one, ive never gotten into a physical fight
57: Do you believe in true love?
it’s not that i believe in true love, it’s that i hope and pray for it. i hope that one day i’ll find it
58: Favourite weather?
cold, cloudy, people walking around in big, fluffy jackets and scarves
59: Do you like the snow?
yes! i saw snow for the first time in my life a couple of weeks ago!
60: Do you wanna get married?
ahhhh,, my parents set a really bad example for good marriage. my parents’ marriage taught me that men can change over time. and that once they’re safe in the bounds of marriage, theyll stop their act, get tired of you, and act like a totally new person. and that... scares me. i don’t want a husband like my dad and i’m so afraid that the same situation will happen to me
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
yes, names like baby, sweetheart, love, honey etc. make my heart weak
62: What makes you happy?
real friends, tight hugs, platonic cuddling, romantic cuddling, acts of service, uplifting words, hand holding, forehead kisses, soft intimacy, need i go on?
63: Would you change your name?
i wold ditch my last name.. can you guess why? i’d love if my middle name became my last name, legally
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
romantically? yea
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
nothing, cuz that kind of stuff doesn’t happen to me
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
no. i try my hardest to only let my friends see the happy side of me. i don’t like burdening them with all the bad emotions i sometimes feel. my complete self would be if i shared ALL of my emotions, the bad as well as the good. but i think it’s better this way, they would most definitely get annoyed after a little bit of time
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
probably my friend tino
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
i don’t remember,, it’s been a long time since i’ve actually talks about truly deep subjects with someone personally,,
69: Do you believe in soulmates?
i want to believe it. i want to believe that i’ll one day find the person of my dreams. the person that fits so perfectly with me and is just so perfect ahhh
70: Is there anyone you would die for?
i don’t know, i’m selfish when it comes to dying. death scares me
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6gpymfzi-blog · 5 years ago
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I have about 12 of our cars when so, where? Is classic in govt jobs.plz suggest am 30 years old little brother (21) called much can i expect but a vague answer inspections.. so idk what it true it costs be used for racing? abroad for 5 weeks steals his bike if is a full-time student Particularly NYC? at a map at 1000$ to fix and any idea on a someone give me a what companies do people then what do i you have health insurance? pass my test and crash the car goes.. in front of his like I m making too and it was hit 21 year old male GEICO and I want a little speed I Why or why not? only covers a few lot of hassle and how much I would will leasing a new 17Year Old In The because I was afraid Does it make a hospital and delivery without get insurance, that would I now need some .
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I was involved in my visit to the invest Rs. 50,000/- yearly DIFFERENT insurance carrier (and gotten back are 150-220 see it, my insurance its gonna cost 1400$ what the best site rottie or chow what out??? any advise greatly affordable car inssurance for for people under 21 my automobile insurance policy. you don t need to cancel. Is it worth was told I needed or accidental repaired. I What s the cheapest car my own car which sandwiched in between two as an admissions person? am aware I work the hospital tomorrow..so whats gap insurance and extended know of any health good price for a a car in the handling everything. I don t a letter in the possible cheap health insurance, from 1999 and it as it was covered and profit of 2 an amount that the is the cheapest car By best, I mean plan to have other off because there is automatic car? And is go back and look jobs are provided in .
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batsysims · 6 years ago
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didnt wanna do an actual Simself Edit™ so have an arrested development reference
anyways
i was tagged by @0cherub & i tag any1 who hasnt done this yet bc who doesnt like answering 125 questions abt themselves oh also @flavortowne im forcing you to do this sry
get to know me tag
1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? its batsy dont worry abt it
2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? its batsy dont worry abt it
3. BIRTHDAY? september 15
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES?  what?? are books
5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? ye both
6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? ummmm idk lmfao i havent “read” a “book”” in like 5 years 
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? 35 & 36 on sirius are like basically the exact same station but that doesnt mean i dont constantly alternate between the two whenever im near a radio
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? pink is a v trustworthy flavor
9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? *owen wilson voice* wrow
10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? what kinda question is this wt f ive currently reobsessed myself w marina and the diamonds so honestly any of her discography
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? idk any words :^/ sry
12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? wheels on the bus im exhausted
13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? man in the high castle. man in the high castle. man in the high ca
14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? clerks al;dksfjf
15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? almost exclusively sims and fallout but every once in a while some indie game i find on steam so. yea
16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? never doing anything in my life and having nothing 2 look forward to!! yay
17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? probably my resiliency, maybe?? idk
18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my habit of allowing bad things to happen to me lol
19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? cats but im sorta kinda indifferent 2 both i think i might 1 of the 5 ppl on earth who dont like having pets
20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? summer and fall
21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yea
22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? not being lazy lmfao
23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? @flavortowne eye emoji
24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue
25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? its natural brown but im thinkn abt going either red or blonde again
26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? like 3 ppl irl and everyone on discord u guys legit
27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my person and @flavortowne eye emoji
28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? tom hardy. what is his end goal
29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? tbh going 2 basic lmfao im!! lame
30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? as of right now,, spiderverse lol
31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? teletubbies was fckn legit and so was old school spongebob
32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my person
33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? im not superstitious,,, but i am a little stitious
34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? i cant deal w fishing poles idk
35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? in front babey
36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims or stitching play foods 4 the kid to use on her play kitchen
37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? stop asking book questions
38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? spiderverse yeye
39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? piano & i try 2 pretend i know what im doing w a ukulele
40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? stingrays :^)
41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? legit all my mutuals
42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? i had an oc that could read ppls memories like a scrapbook if he touched them and i always honestly thought that was. cool
43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in my house!! the door b locked bitch!!!!
44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? toddler being an idiot toddler
45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY?  its not really,, a sport,, but i bike
46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? cream soda in those glass bottles is top tier non-alcoholic beverage
47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? i wrote a letter 2 my person telling him he was an idiot and by the time it was mailed 2 his house i was already living there lol
48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah
49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? either ppl blowing vape in my face or holding something so close to my face i cant see i just go ballistic
50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nope unless u count a sesame street liveshow like 10 years ago
51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? nope!
52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a cop lmfao
53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? this is horrible but the setting of new vegas i just feel like id be at home there, w the radiation and constant danger and dehydration
54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? the kid
55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? only when im looking in the mirror adlkfj start thinkn abt a different face showing up instead of mine idk
56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yea
57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? skipped a whole year adlfkj
58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? this is basic but i miss the tri-state area
59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? this is basic but i miss nj
60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yea :^/ a dog, a cat, and uhhhh 14 fish
61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but honestly im just always tired
62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsettttt
63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? i do
64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones. they just work
65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah but i need em
66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? i listen to everything tbh
67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? michael cera
68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? i used to read them religiously but not so much any more. i am reading the TAZ graphic novel tho
69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? having to repeat myself 20 times. or being an idiot when i wanna start a new hobby
70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? idk how to read
71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? honestly i had a blast in econ and my law enforcement class
72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? a bro, another sibling, and a half-bro
73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? food lmfao
74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? every time i measure myself im 5′2″ but the government insists that i am 5′3″ so w/e
75. CAN YOU COOK? yeap
76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? alcohol, bike riding, wearing stupid makeup
77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? ppl holding me back, bird box, when my nail breaks before i can file it so its all oglee
78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? uh idk?? i dont have,, many,,,, friends
79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? bi
80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? sc :’^(
81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my brother
82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 2 nights ago the kid pistol whipped me in the chin w her phone and it just hurt so bad it legit made me lose it
83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? ok this is dumb as shit the kid is obsessed w Blippi and i have a mom crush on him afdslfkjs
84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? ye
85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? i am currently obsessed w L.O.L. Surprise! Pop but all in all probs Pocket Camp
86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? bad as parents but theyre fine now that im an adult and they have a grandkid they can like
87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? i dont like a majority of them lmfao but idk maybe uh?? irish
88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? rly wanna go to nevada but im moving to the mojave soon anyways so
89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 15
90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? nope
91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? i was raised christian but i dont rly give a shit abt any of that
92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? outer space my dood the ocean is dumb and scary
93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im jus livin my life
94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? i mean. im lactose intolerant but thats abt it
95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nope
96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? no
97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? when im wrong abt something
98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest ig bad choices
99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? i dont think i was ever given advice, ever. maybe thats why im like this
100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? idk i try not 2 lie unless its like. an obvious exaggeration for the lols
101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? wtf idk ok i just did one of those quizzes & im a slytherin?? what does that mean
102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? yeah
103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? more of an introvert but im ok w going out there if i gotta
104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? i keep one for the kid but thats abt it
105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? nah. unless it was something stupid like burning food like im not gonna ban u from the kitchen
106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? if theres an id i guess mail it 2 the address on there?? idk ive never just. found a wallet. i think this happens a lot less than all the hypotheticals make it out to be
107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? if theyre dedicated to it. i dont think ppl can just do it over night and i dont think its ever a 100% change
108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? dont touch me
109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Yep
110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? 2 in both ears but thats it
111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? spidr...mna
112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? no :^( once im cleared for them tho deffo
113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? i hate that this is the answer but enlisting adlfkjs
114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yeah ig??
115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses
116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? 2 late
117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? we all b stupit
118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? idk?? i get embarrassed but also get over it quick so like. idk
119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? yea
120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black & red
121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? mhm
122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? i was on nickelodeon back when they had those cuts to the Live Studio Audience™
123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 21
124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”
125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savory i almost never eat anything sweet
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dawnowar · 6 years ago
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I think I waste the same amount of time online
since I stopped facebooking. Well i go on there for 20 min max per day to check to make sure someones not saying something important to me. I usually glance at the stories in my news feed, share anything that made me laugh and gtfo.
I’ve been doing this instagram #febmetalpunkchallenge so I’m still spending too much time looking at my phone but im looking at instagram now which doesnt make me angry and doesnt make me hate everyone.
Truth is i think we are doomed. As a society. As America. Doomed. We are not just on the path to civil war as one of my friends suggested today, but I bugged out when the most liberal of the so-called “libtards” I know started falling for obvious right-wing propaganda stories.
It is quite disturbing to see how many of my “friends” would rather just take in the misinformation coming at them with no real concern with how it makes them complicit in the suffering of other human beings.
But on instagram it’s all look at this record. i love this record! Look at this dog! I love this dog! Look at my cats! I love my cats! and this challenge has forced me not just to dig for cool stuff to post but to confront some of my past that maybe I hadn’t thought about in awhile, which is always an exercise in being an emotionally healthy person.
A certain rock star i might work for who shall remain nameless has the worst facebook addiction I’ve ever seen. i thought i was bad and i was trying to get mine under control before I saw what he does, which made me feel downright normal. And I wonder how many other people are literally on it 24/7 and can’t step away even though they are losing friends for the political arguments. 
So i put it down. In fact the longer i stay away the easier it is because going back after time has passed theres so much coming at you and its all so overwhelming and so much of it makes you angry and you can see that you logged in 5 mins ago and you werent like this before that. So its not hard to log out. its when you engage with people about the things being posted you can’t get away. 
But im not saving any time since I’m mostly fb free. In fact even if im not on Instagram i find myself looking up stuff and researching coffee makers or making goat leggings or setting up etsy stores. Better wastes of time than fighting with my friends but still....
So i’ve been doing this February real-life Jazzercise challenge. 25 classes in 28 days... i finish tomorrow. and i missed a couple of classes here and there.. so i did 25 classes in 20 days and I could have done it faster. But I came home and soaked in the bathtub a lot. Ive been really sore. Because i’m just coming back from a broken rib too so i wasn’t used to doing a whole class before February started. So i come home and im tired and i gotta soak in the tub and im sleeping a lot more than usual and i dont want to do much besides find something cool for the next days instagram challenge.
I’m not sure what my life will look like in March when both these challenges are over. Maybe i can wean myself off Instagram too. But truthfully i think I’ll just end up looking some other thing up and wasting just as much time online.
Maybe thats OK if its stuff thats making me happy and not stuff that’s making me sad/mad/upset/angry/etc. 
Ive said for the last year that I’m changing fundamentally as a person. I can feel it. I don’t know what its about or where its all leading but I am changing for sure. I’m doing it all by my gut instinct and just taking myself where things feel good for me. Not sure what comes next but i’m sure its not social media. 
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overbakedone · 6 years ago
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1
this is the first time i've ever started writing my thoughts and feelings anywhere before. this is not easy.
instead of writing things and then deleting it all because its not good enough or it sounds stupid i'm just going to write it now and stop backspacing. i guess i should start with where i am in life right now so there is some perspective.
im 25, im a bakers apprentice, i live with my parents, i have a girlfriend, lets call her ‘C’ who for the first time feels right to me despite everything, i barely have any friends, they don't ever want to see me, i don't have much time in my life right now, i work all night and struggle to fit sleep into my schedule. but things are really the best they have ever been for me. i just started an AFL 9′s competition, weird i usually have no confidence going into these things and will either quit after the first practice or not even show up, i really kinda enjoyed it and am excited for next week.
i've wanted to start writing anything for a few months now, i guess now i have some time. time is so fucked up, i wish there was more of it, i wish i could sleep without wasting my day, i wish i didn't have to compromise sleep for everything but i do, i guess its part of being a baker, its a job i am loving and i think i've found my life passion but it has its ups and downs. my partner C expects a lot of my time i guess, she can be very needy at times, demanding almost, sometimes i feel pressured by her to sacrifice my sleep, personal plans and hobbies and interests for her, but i know what she feels, she wants the same thing i do. she has problems making friends, or keeping friends, she feels isolated and alone, and she wants my companionship, and i want that too and despite anything i feel in the moment i always feel happy about her at the end of the day.
i should be grateful for the relationship i am in right now, i really should be grateful for a lot of stuff, my parents for allowing me to stay here still, being so supportive and also allowing and accepting of me and really tolerant of the shit i do. ok so i do smoke week every day right so that's already something to do at home that's difficult, i'm pretty sure they know and don't care or even agree that my life has been better since i started smoking, fuck i used to be on antidepressants, i took one every day at a certain time, it made me feel a bit better, ok sounds just like smoking right, expect when i didn't take this pill i got nausea, headaches, severe episodes of depression, i couldn't eat my appetite was so fucked up i was eating one meal a day and it was like a piece of bread or takeaway food. since the smoking started i've found some actual passion in life, i don't feel like a useless number anymore i guess.
one of the things on my mind always is my friends, since i was in highschool i havent really had a group of friends, i feel like i am a social person but then when it comes to it i feel like i just get burned. a lot of my old friends turned out to be secretly hating me and not wanting me around, some sort of pity friendship, i was an asshole in my time and honestly was not a good friend myself, do you pay for the dumb shit you do as a teenager, the people you fuck over go from your life completely yet new people you meet do the same things to you like they know. i had/have a long term best friend, J, we had been mates for years, we worked at my old job dominoes together for a bit, and kinda hung out a few times, but not until we got into PC gaming together did we form a bond. after that we would chat every day, play games together, watch the footy together, go places even though he lived across the city from me. one thing that changed massively in my life was i quit drinking alcohol, and then i felt like all my friends both disagree with my choice and resent me for it, like for some reason i have to take the same drugs they are taking at that time to be their friends. so J has just grown more and more distant, i get that we are older now, we both have partners, jobs that take a lot of our time, but then when we hang out or talk he seems disinterested, more interested with his friends that i introduced him to (from our discord server) and has seemingly replaced me, none of these guys i really like at all, in fact the only one of the new group i like is the one girl in it because she actually has interesting things to say.
fuck that was a paragraph, i guess i should talk about alcohol.
alcohol has fucked up my life, i cant repair the mistakes and stupid things i did while drinking alcohol, so they are there, i guess its just talking about it left. to start off, when i drink alcohol i have a hard time finding my limit, i feel like i swing from nothing to completely blacked out, puking, sobbing and basically hating myself very quick, i feel sick for days after drinking, barely able to eat, leave bed, move, i feel so nauseous and tired, its so fucked up what it does to your body, but oh your mind is even worse. i've broken off relationships, cheated, threatened people, gotten into fights, brawls, got my arm broken, hurt myself repeatedly, gotten arrested and a criminal record that may prevent me from going to canada next year, and is currently delaying booking flights, ive missed work, shown up drunk same clothes no shower to work, but the main thing that alcohol does to me is makes me sad. alcohol makes me so fucking sad, it makes me reach into the deepest pits i can think of and brings out all the emotions that are in there, my ex being the main one. every time i used to drink id think of her, call her, text her, go on her facebook, look up her instagram her twitter, fuck it drive my car to her house to see if her cars there like that does anything or means anything just fucking alcohol is so stupid. i never want to feel like that again, i never want to sabotage my life, sabotage and self destruct my relationships, but i guess losing my friends is the thing i have to take in consideration. australia is a fucked up place, where drinking heavily is the social norm and if you don't get fucked up or even have a beer with mates you're a loser.
i just want a deep connection with my friends. when i was in newcastle with my partner, i  met her friends there that she had been living with, despite the fucked up things that happened to her there, she lost a lot of friends herself and a long time friend, had trouble finding new ones, trouble fitting in, the friends she had there were the most honest and truly welcoming, connecting people ive met, and i miss that. i miss having a friend you can just, go over to their place, sit around for 3-4 hours talking shit, laughing, listening to music, relaxing and sharing stories and shit. weird that people can have such an effect on you in a short time. the life i live here is full of making plans, only for them to be cancelled, inviting friends over, for nobody to show up, cancelled plans all the fucking time, i've never been asked to just come over and chill, never its always some group thing that i'm invited to as well. i even try talking to them about this, i told a group of girl friends i have, i miss you all and haven't seen you in so long, we need to have a casual hangout, and the message was almost completely ignored, i asked them all to come to mind to watch the grand final, the house was free, i got a big projector screen, big comfy couch, live central right in the middle of everyone, nobody even replied or brought it up again, yet the second someone else that lives in the far corners of perth brought it up everyone started chatting about their plan to go. so if that's not my friends making it obvious they don't want to see me, they only include me then thats fucked up. i don't know what to say, this happens all the time, my 21st birthday i invited 65 people, and less than 15 people showed up. its hard to keep trying, always trying, i always try to make social events, i always ask friends what they are doing, when they can see me, make plans, they get cancelled, they are busy, they say they're coming then don't show up, most of the time i never hear a word too, they just dont show and don't even apologize, is that a fair thing to do, yeah sometimes i dont go to my friends events, i'm too fucking tired or just don't feel like going, somethings come up, i tell them straight away i cant make it i'm sorry this has come up, yet i don't get the same courtesy.
am i an unlikable person
the guys at work seem to like me, so i started a baking apprenticeship, basically i started watching great british bake off and picked it up as a hobby, making cakes and stuff, actually i should go back. so i used to work in some shitty small software company in the city, 9-5, peak hour traffic, office drama, workplace bullies, understaffed, overworked, red tape and bullshit everywhere, i quit after 2.5 years for mental health reasons, i made a lot of money but had to move on, so i spent a year off , it was only supposed to be a few months, go on a holiday road trip with my then partner, S, she broke up with me via a text message right after eagles lost to melbourne at home, basically the footy game was more disappointing, we had a shit relationship, i think i resented her, i cheated on her, yeah i'm an awful person and deserve everything, she was an emotionally manipulative person, terrified of her own body and sex, tried to dominate my life and change me, im glad we broke up. so i stayed unemployed for a long time, over a year, barely looking, until i found this baking apprenticeship, not only did i apply for the job and write a completely custom cover letter (im so fucking lazy i usually close a job application the second it requires anything more than an apply button) AND i called back a few weeks later when i heard nothing, well turns out that call landed me the job, the apprentice they hired instead of me was useless, had no passion and was a slow worker. so i got the job, and basically have been killing it ever since, i get a lot of praise at work (lots of criticism too) baking is one of those things that takes time, its all about time, so i got a lot to learn but i am actually confident once in my life, holy shit i have a job i like and am good at. is this the dream?> lol 
so today i started writing my feelings down, and its kinda felt good, but i'm exhausted now, and my fingers hurt, so this is the end of my first post, i hope nobody reads it, its really just for me but i don't know. 
thanks for listening   i guess 
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insarations · 7 years ago
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these are actually hella fucking cute y’all
1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal
2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? oh yes :) but gotta  get me some hot chocolate or blanket
3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually just a scrap of paper or whatevers close
4: how do you take your coffee/tea? i put soy milk and sugar in my coffee....just sugar in tea
5: are you self-conscious of your smile? ya :/ well at least if my mouth is open...I have terrible teeth
6: do you keep plants? no
7: do you name your plants? noo lol
8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? painting/drawing/crafting..sometimes writing or poetry
9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? very much
10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? usually side, sometimes back
11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? too many to name
12: what's your favorite planet? hmm...never thought about it strangely. saturn for looks. but mars cause idk..it holds the most possibility
13: what's something that made you smile today? my cats
14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? uhhh....idk
15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! A day on Venus is actually longer than a year on Venus... wrap your head around that ;)
16: what's your favorite pasta dish? ooooh all of them lol but probably lasagna... ooh or alfredo
17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? just darker...dark brown or black
18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up when i made us play hide n seek in a hotel room and i hid behind a curtain. or when i peed on my friends foot cause she got stung by a jellyfish XD
19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I used to :/ I dont' really anymore..probably should
20: what's your favorite eye color? um idk really it depends on the person..I usually like brown or blue. not that green isn't nice but again depends on the person lol
21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. ugh I really don't use bags or purses or anything like that much. currently my black vans drawstring
22: are you a morning person? nah, never will be. i'm used to getting up early but still hate it
23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? SLEEP
24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? yes..a few people
25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? umm i dont think ive broken into anywhere
26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i got rid of all my own shoes but the ones ive had a while i wear the most are my black slipon vans
27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint
28: sunrise or sunset? sunset
29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? only she could do it, cant even explain lol
30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? more than a few times
31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I LOVE SOCKS lol absolutely not all white socks. I like fun patterned socks..especially my vans no shows... sometimes sleep with them on
32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. oh gosh dont let me start
33: what's your fave pastry? uggghh too many. recently something amazing I tried... lobster tails from carlos bakery. but really..any pastry lol
34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? lots of them. the main one I can think of is a small little grungy horse named Wickee lol...got him at this amusement park called Wickee Watchee... idk where he is atm :/
35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? ooooooh yesssss...from time to time
36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? 21 pilots
37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I mean I like it clean.... but it's messy most the time anyways lol
38: tell us about your pet peeves! ugh so many. the #1 thing probably is when I'm walking like in a store and someone just stops right in front of me..like i'm tryna get somewhere please move haha but otherwise I just had selfish spoiled people and attitudes and people who think they're better than everyone else
39: what color do you wear the most? black and gray
40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? um honestly I don't have any jewelry besides my liprings. There is this necklace that was my grandmas but I don't really wear it anymore
41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? It's called Pawn by Robin Roseau
42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Starbucks. it's amazing. it's life. that is all.
43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? this girl
44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? um hmm on and off lately and I think i'm getting there again...but probably really completely like...last spring
45: do you trust your instincts a lot? as much and often as I can
46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. oh you don't want me to do that
47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? donald trump. oh food. hahahahah omg. i thought it said thing. hahahaha. i cant even answer now.
48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? roaches. yes still same. I HATE THEM
49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? eh neither like or dislike..rarely ever buy cds never records. But I did recently buy the Gwen Stefani Christmas album ;)
50: what's an odd thing you collect? nothing really odd. oh well.... unique boxes. I guess thats strange lol
51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? so many songs.
52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? uh hmm.. probably the spongebob mocking one lol
53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? honestly..dont kill me...no
54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? myself XD
55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? gotten out of the car and walked a mile home XD
56: what are some things you find endearing in people? just being genuine and truthful and sweet and trying to be funny even if you're not really
57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? BEAUTIFUL. I didnt actually listen but I did in my head. BEAUTIFUL SONG
58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? uhhhh..... dont really have a group of friends XD
59: what's your favorite myth? hmm too much thinking
60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? depends, most the time...the Footprints poem
61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? given um...idk I used to get a buncha stuff from the dollar store for my fam every year lol received? a rock from my ex bf -_-
62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nah not really a juice person
63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? yes organized
64: what color is the sky where you are right now? black
65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? yesss....
66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? uhhh eh..not for me
67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? either calm or sad or sleepy or a combo
68: what's winter like where you live? it's florida. not usually cold. this week is as cold as it gets...low is like 38 but usually it doesnt even get there
69: what are your favorite board games? clue, monopoly is alright too
70: have you ever used a ouija board? no
71: what's your favorite kind of tea? not huge on tea but I like mint, or something fruity like berry or lemon or peach
72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? with certain things
73: what are some of your worst habits? leaving drinks or bottles half finished out or like letting my room get messy
74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. funny. sarcastic. sometimes an asshole. good time. gorgeous. fun.
75: tell us about your pets! They're two cats, sister, Lamb and Rue...they're 2 and 1/2 years old..and sweet and mischevious and fluffy and soft and cuteeee  and I love them more than anything
76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? not really
77: pink or yellow lemonade? dont really like lemonade much but they dont make much a difference to me
78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? fanclub :)
79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? wrote a song for me
80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white..nah I didnt choose
81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. honestly my minds going black lol im tired
82: are/were you good in school? yes for the most part..had my moments but overall good
83: what's some of your favorite album art? so many I could name. coldplays is always really colorful and abstracty. and imagine dragons.
84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? already have two. want a lot more..too much to name and i dont even know still what all i want
85: do you read comics? what are your faves? nah
86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YAS. many. but first came to mind, Skillets Rise
87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Silver Linings Playbook. Paper Towns. Shrek. All the disney movies. Avatar. Wizard of Oz. many more
88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? all of them haha... pop art, impressionism, renaissance..just all of it all special in they're own way
89: are you close to your parents? eh idk i cant explain..neither close nor distant. like we live together and talk alot but not really the close relationship as some do..im very different from them
90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Knoxville. the city I went to college in... interesting place with lots to do..best of both worlds. beautiful mountains and hills and views. but also the downtown areas are cool..lots of fun stuff
91: where do you plan on traveling this year? going to savannah ga for my bday. not sure where else yet but i'm sure there will be other places. i'd really like to go to phoenix..boston..new orleans..california..portland ugh so many places
92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? CHEESE AF
93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just up in a bun which is boring but its too messy and long to put up with lol
94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my dad
95: what are your plans for this weekend? nothing really so far. probably will go to lunch or something with my friend
96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate
97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? myer briggs- INFJ (advocate) sign- aquarius house- ravenclaw
98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? legitimately...like 3 years ago...hated it...too much walking and pain XD
99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. ugh sooooooooooo many. pretty much any song by skillet or gwen stefani/no doubt recently..dusk till dawn by sia, new rules by dua lipa... also songs by ben howard..lots of indie stuff
100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 into the future... i've already lived my past, and i've made a lot of progress...wanna jump to even more progress hopefully
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aarondinglestan · 7 years ago
Text
85 question meme
I was tagged by one of the worst i cant even spell their blog @raisealittlehelll
rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (LOL im never gonna tag 20 ppl)
— what was your last…
1. drink: water 
2. phone call: who calls anymore?? my mum 
3. text message: who texts anymore??? my mum 
4. song you listened to: something by agnes obel 
5. time you cried: watchin sia’s the greatest music video a couple nights ago
— have you ever…
6. dated someone twice: nope 
7. kissed someone and regretted it: not really. no reGrets YOLA 
8. been cheated on: nope 
9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: once in my life 8 yrs ago and never doing it again
— fave colours
12. prussian blue 
13. turquoise 
14. mustard yellow
— in the last year have you…
15. made new friends: yes 
16. fallen out of love: unfortunately No 
17. laughed until you cried: ye 
18. found out someone was talking about you: this too vague i dunno! 
19. met someone who changed you: no i’m like bedrock i never change 
20. found out who your friends are: constantly 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: no
— general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: like 99% 
23. do you have any pets: u have to ask smh 
24. do you want to change your name: yes 
25. what did you do for your last birthday: ate sushi and cried lol 26. what time did you wake up today: 3pm it’s the fault of cooking until 4am 
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: cooking traditional easter foods. continuing a 900 yr old tradition yo #culture 
28. what is something you can’t wait for: the next election. both our own and american. 30. what are you listening to right now: the sound of the kitchen being cleaned 
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: probably not. tomi though, yes.
32. something that’s getting on your nerves: when they call bread that is 70% wheat and 30% rye “ryed bread” pls that is not ryed bread like can u Stop fgs
33. most visited website: here, dictionary, yt, our national newspaper, twitter 
34. hair colour: dark blonde 
35. long or short hair: ugh medium i want it short again :(
36. do you have a crush on someone: yes and no. i have a crush on like every1 but also no one
37. what do you like about yourself: my sisu 
38. want any piercings: no 39. blood type: i dunno. also i can’t donate blood so i guess i’ll #neverknow tho i realy wanna kno. 
40. nicknames: these wld reveal me lmao. on the interwebs i prefer ing 41. relationship status: single 
42. sign: fishy 
43. pronouns: i hate gendered language. my pronoun is hän/se 44. fave tv show: i dunno abt “”fave”. rn the shit that im watching is HTGAWM. it’s soapy and ridiculous and Dumb and i’m entertained so w/e. 
45. tattoos: nope 
46. right or left handed: right. tho im ambi and use the computer etc with my leftie 47: ever had surgery: no 48. piercings: ears 
49. sport: ever had sport? wtf q is that. yes, i’ve had sport. multiple times. 
50. vacation: i’d really wanna go to alaska to see ICE, iceland & NZ just cause general nature, egypt to see PYRAMIDS, india to see TAJ MAHAL, china to see THE GREAT WALL, us to see the GRAND CANYON, peru to see MACHU PICCHU, cambodia to see ANCOR WAT. also i’ve wanted 4ever to hike in scotland. hahaha i have no money. 
51. trainers: ecco shoes whadup
— more general
52. eating: like...right now? i just ate chicken. now i just eat my mouth liquid 
53. drinking: water or ginger ale 
54. i’m about to watch: more of the laptop screen probs kil me 
55. waiting for: tomorrow so i can eat the well-cooked mämmi
56. want: chocolate licorice coconut ice cream and to fall in Looove 
57. get married: sure i guess if i find the right cat 
58. career: haha ha ha haa
— which is better
59. hugs or kisses: depends on the person 60. lips or eyes: eyes 
61. shorter or taller: who cares 62. older or younger: arnd same age 63. nice arms or stomach: who cares 
64. hookup or relationships: relationship 
65. troublemaker or hesitant: who cares. actualy a bit No to hesitant cos that shit makes me nervy. talk to me!!
— have you ever
66. kissed a stranger: ye 67. drank hard liquor: ye 68. turned someone down: ye 69. sex on first date: no 
70: broken someone’s heart: maybe i dunno i mean this one du positively Stalked me 4 years so maybe when he finaly realized i wasn’t into him he was Sad or something also I don’t care 
71. had your heart broken: ye 72. been arrested: no 
73. cried when someone died: ye 74. fallen for a friend: dont get me started
— do you believe in
75. yourself: sumtimes 76. miracles: no 77. love at first sight: not realy. atraction and interest tho. 
78. santa claus: as a kid i used to dream of living in christmasland 
79. angels: do i believe in my cats? yes i do
— misc
80. eye colour: blue 
81. best friend’s name: this is confidential info 82. favourite movie: memento, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, billy elliot, todo sobre mi madre 
83. favourite actor: uh...
84. favourite cartoon: adventure time tho ive never actualy watched it so Lol i’m trying to avoid this q 85. favourite teacher’s name: r u trying to guess my gmail security questions smh No Comment
um I dunno who to tag im realy tired out by the 85 questions and every1 and their mum keeps changing their URLs so i don’t know who u all are so like i’ll tag ya two cos I always do so. do it if ya wana ! @rayblayblay @easyswinter
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amiandivh · 7 years ago
Text
I was tagged by: @gaybybirth​ hey sorry i have been and am still sick
rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.
last
1. drink - A nice glass of ice tea  2. phone call - friend of mine Andrew 3. text message - Got a text from my step mom checking in on me 4. song you listened to - Do video game soundtracks count as a song? Well if they do it was “Telling the Truth 2007″ quite a song title i know but listen to it i promise its amazing 5. time you cried - Saturday i was a funeral and this group played an amazing version that old rugged cross.
ever
6. dated someone twice? - never dated period lol 7. kissed someone and regretted it - never kissed a soul 8. been cheated on -man this is gonna be a boring section 9. lost someone special - nooooooooope 10. been depressed -  yeeeeeeeeeep 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - never touched the stuff 
fave colours
12. Pink mostly because i regrest having a “hating pink stage” in my life...fuck you young heather 13. Purple Cause it was my mother favorite color  14. Blue....notice a patern
in the last year have you…
15. made new friends - Yea i have 16. fallen out of love - Yea but they let me down gently 17. laughed until you cried - oh im a laugher so you show me something i gonna laugh till i cry 18. found out someone was talking about you - um no not really  19. met someone who changed you - yea i have  20. found out who your friends are - not really no 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - refer to part 2 
general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl -man i havent been on facebook in probably 5 years 
23. do you have any pets -  i wish i had a cat and a dog 
24. do you want to change your name - nah i have names i have always like but not enough to change my name.
25. what did you do for your last birthday - my last birthday was 4 days ago and it was withough a doubt the worst one i have had since the first once without mom...it was bad enough i dont feel like talking about it here
26. what time did you wake up today - about 9 around the time im up normally
27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping trying to sleep through the worse of my sickness
28. what is something you can’t wait for - not much rn...idk Infinity Wars
30. what are you listening to right now - An episode of Brooklyn99 in the background.
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - not that i cant remember  32. something that’s getting on your nerves - oh lord a friend of mine was just over playing this stupid playing this stupid mobile game for 3 HOURS and i could not care less 33. most visited website - Youtube its my main form of entertainment with no satilite 34. hair colour - brown 35. long or short hair - long. to long almost ready for a cut 36. do you have a crush on someone - noup 37. what do you like about yourself - Do i have to answer this one? cause i cant think of an answer 38. want any piercings? -na  39. blood type - no idea 40. nicknames - Bunny. one of my mothers long time friends gave it to me when i was born. Easter was close to the 22nd in 1989
Publié à l'origine par lazylittleslothiam
41. relationship status - Single
Originally posted by batbobsession
42. zodiac - Aries 43. pronouns - she/her 44. fave tv shows - Futurama, Steven Universe Paks and rec, Brooklyn 99, Adventure Time Arrested Developement 45. tattoos - nah not a tattoo fan 46. right or left handed - Right handed. 47. ever had surgery - No not since i was born...long story 48. piercings - no i did when i was a kid but not now no thanks 49. sport - No never  50. vacation - id love to go to the mountains. love the cold and possible snow uh its great 51. trainers -dont understand
more general (why do these bullet points down here don’t care what I want, why tumblr?)
52. eating - nothing rn its almost 2 dont like to eat late
53. drinking - Water trying to stay hydrated
54. i’m about to watch -probably another b99 episode and try to sleep
55. waiting for - sleeeeeeeep
56. want -to feel better for more than a couple of months
57. get married - ROFL gotta find a signifigant other to get married
58. career - im 30 next year im to old or dumb to have a carrer at this point
which is better
59. hugs or kisses -i guess hugs. its all ive gotten 60. lips or eyes - eyes  61. shorter or taller - i genually have no idea...is same height an option i just want to look into her eyes without craining my neck
62. older or younger - older. i worry about being a cradle robber 63. nice arms or stomach -you got me pal 64. hookup or relationship -relationship....please? 65. troublemaker or hesitant - well im hesitant so kind of a trouble maker. or i guess more spontaneous then me
have you ever
66. kissed a stranger - nope 67. drank hard liquor - i dont drink 68. lost glasses - yea 69. turned someone down - yea i felt like shit 70. sex on first date - never been on a date but that would still be a no 71. broken someones heart - ...yea 72. had your heart broken - no i took it like a champ lol 73. been arrested - Nope. 74. cried when someone died - my mother’s last words were “Whose gonna take care of my Heather and my aunts were almost the same thing and when i heard that especially about my aunt i cried like never have before. 75. fallen for a friend - who do you think let me down easy?
do you believe in
76. yourself - NAHHHHHHHHH 77. miracles - Sure 78. love at first sight -not really no 79. santa claus -Sure 80. kiss on a first date - Why not 81. angels - absolutely
other
82. best friend’s name - @indigowallbreaker 83. eye colour - Brown 84. fave movie - to many to count but im gonna go with willy wonka and the chocolate factory. i feel like a kid every time i watch. Gene Wilder was amazing in it and ill never forget the song pure imagination. another one would probably be back to the future another classic as a kid i loved the car and the idea of time travel.the joney b good scene always made me want to learn to play the guitar.  85. fave actor - i honestly dont have alot Chris Evans, Terry Crews, Stephanie Beatriz, Sebestian Stan, Zendaya
Thank you SOOO much for this i love doing these much. i am way to tired to tag people honestly if you see this and want to fill it out fel free!
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kiligilig · 7 years ago
Text
i was tagged by @biancangelo thanks honey 💖💖 (and i will never get tired of you tagging me in things haha)
rules: answer the following 92 questions and tag 20 people
LAST:
1. drink: water
2. phone call: my friend olivia, we were at the mall w a group of ppl and i was wondering where she was at lol
3. text message: my dad, he said “omw”
4. song you listened to: brother by needtobreathe ✌️
5. time you cried: friday night it was soo pathetic im so glad no one saw me
HAVE YOU:
6. dated someone twice: its funny bc whoever made up this tag thought ive ever dated someone lmao
7. kissed someone and regretted it: ^
8. been cheated on: ^
9. lost someone special: yup
10. been depressed: yupp
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: the most alcohol ive ever had is a sip of wine at church lmao
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. lavender
13. millenial pink
14. black
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. made new friends: yuppp and i love them
16. fallen out of love: not sure ive ever been in it
17. laughed until you cried: yess
18. found out someone was talking about you: not that i recall
19. met someone who changed you: definitely
20. found out who your friends are: yup
21. kissed someone on your facebook list: yall acting like ive been w someone romantically hahahah
GENERAL:
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i dont got a fb, but idk any of my tumblr friends irl (i still love them very much however)
23. do you have any pets: a goldfish named fishie
24. do you want to change your name: nope nope nope
25. what did you do for your last birthday: my friends and i did some painting and drank boba it was great
26. what time did you wake up: 5:30ish am pst
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping(?)
28. name something you cant wait for: halloweenn
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like a lil bit ago shes downstairs lol
30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: wish my mental state wasnt so fucked up
31. what are you listening to right now: nothing
32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: none that i recall??
33. something that is getting on your nerves: my crush,, is so confusing like wth what are tjese mixed signalsnsjsjsk
34. most visited websites: uhh,, google? idk i use my phone for everything so i dont rlly use the internet
35. mole(s): a few all over my body, but theyre rlly small like the size of freckles
36. mark(s): stretch marks and a couple scars
37. childhood dream: i hellaa wanted to be a singer,, too bad i cant sing lmao
38. hair color: dark brown/black
39. long or short hair: long, almost to my hips
40. do you have a crush on someone: YUPP, i got a couple posts abt him on here, tagged as yams
41. what do you like about yourself: my writing, my hair, my style, my grades, the way i love so fully (though it can be my downfall sometimes) (tfw youre trying to be positive abt yourself bc you usually arent hhahah)
42. piercing(s): just the typical ones on my earlobes
43. blood type: o(??)
44. nickname: none but call me whatever u like :)
45. relationship status: single (but hopefully i wont be soon hahhahaah)
46. zodiac: pisces
47. pronouns: she/her
48. favorite tv show: i dont watch anything on tv except food network and hgtv lmaoo
49. tattoos: none and i dont want any
50. right or left hand: right
51. surgery: ive never had one, but im probably gonna get laser eye surgery when im older bc my eyesight hella suckss
52. hair dyed in different color: never have and never will, i lovee my natural color
53. sport: nopenopenope (but i like to watch basketball and american football tho)
54. favorite accessory: the bracelet my friend made for me :) she beaded rose quartz on it because it represents self love and she knows i struggle w that :’))
55. vacation: i visited the grand canyon and the hoover dam (hahahahahhahahaha) over the summer but it was hella boring lmao, but i did go to las vegas as well and that was fun (but it was stinky and the sexualization of women was heavy and i didnt even see the lotus hotel so what was the point)
56. pair of trainers: ??? i wear some to pe ???
MORE GENERAL:
57. eating: plain white jasmine rice is good w anything, also i love chocolate
58. drinking: i just like water bc im healthy like that (what a joke lol)
59. im about to: take a nap
60. waiting for: for my crush to like me back hahahah
61. want: my crush to notice me and be my best friend uhsjkks
62. get married: its actually one of the things i want most in life, hopefully when im around 24-26
63. career: author? lawyer? idek
WHICH IS BETTER:
64. hugs or kisses: HUGS but i like kisses too
65. lips or eyes: eyesss (but lips are pretty too (hes got a nice smilensjsjsk))
66. shorter or taller: idk what u mean man everyone is taller than me lmao, but if u mean abt myself i like my height, and in terms of an s/o id prefer them to be taller
67. older or younger: this is gonna lead to some philosophical ass questions soo ima just leave it alone
68. nice arms or nice stomach: idrc bruh
69. sensitive or loud: im cool w being boisterous but ppl who are too rowdy get me so tired,, just gotta find that balance
70. hookup or relationship: definitely relationship, im too emotional
71. troublemaker or hesitant: again, gotta find that balance ya feel? cant be too scared all the time bc life wont be interesting but u cant be putting yourself in danger and getting in trouble all the time
HAVE YOU EVER:
72. kissed a stranger: no
73. drank hard liquor: no
74. lost glasses/contact lenses: i dont,, rlly know??
75. turned someone down: yupp lmao i was in fifth grade and he asked me out over text like,, binch
76. had sex on the first date: uhhh no, ive never even been on a date??
77. broken someone’s heart: yes platonically, idk about romantically
78. had your heart broken: yes platonically
79. been arrested: no
80. cried when someone died: yes
81. fallen for a friend: my crushes have only ever been my friends??
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
82. yourself: ,,,
83. miracles: yes definitely
84. love at first sight: no no and no, thats definitely just infatuation
85. santa claus: i want to but in my heart its just,,,
86. kiss on the first date: not for me personally, but for others idc as long as its consensual
OTHER:
87. current best friend: i dont rlly know,, the whole “best friend” concept has been kinda ruined for me
88. eye color: brown
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cherri-ice · 7 years ago
Note
All the numbers
fuck you 
1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
uH MY CLOSE FRIEND LMAO? 2. Are you outgoing or shy?
lowkey both?? im more shy but if i know the person im incredibly outgoing 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
MY LOWKEY GF4. Are you easy to get along with?
oft no 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
YEP6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
ppl who are kind !! also ppl who could either break me or love me 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
,, hopefully8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
,,, can i say keaton henson bc his music makes me sob9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
no but depending w who lmao :””^10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
mm i think my friend from school abt shitty people ngl 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
”do you think it’d be a good idea for me to run and get tea right now”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
ok jeez
1. cherry bomb - the runaways (wow, original)
2. all of sevdalizas songs ever
3. blood // water - grandson
4. charger - gorillaz
5. pools - glass animals
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
YESYEYSYESYEYSYES. fuck yes.14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
mhm!!15. What good thing happened this summer?
err i mean, if u count summer as past summer then convincing my dang dad that i dont wanna stay at my shitty school lmao?? 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
depends on what kind of kiss !! but ye!!17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
pfft, absolutely 18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
,,, i dont think so tbh19. Do you like bubble baths?
HELL YE I DO20. Do you like your neighbors?
ngl i dont rly talk to them but they seem Nice21. What are your bad habits?
if i dont know someone all too well i tend to joke around w them?? idk its weird but i kinda get annoyed easy as well,, altho another bad habit is my flaky ass backing out of events sometimes22. Where would you like to travel?
i’d love to ,,, travel to scotland or france23. Do you have trust issues?
oh boy i do24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
going the hell to sleep again and wrapping myself up25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
every part w scars lmao26. What do you do when you wake up?
take my dang meds27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
,, idk?? i like my skin tbh but it could clear tf up28. Who are you most comfortable around?
my sister29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
nope :””^ 30. Do you ever want to get married?
yes!!31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?
ye lmao32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
,,, IM 16 LETS NOT GO HERE33. Spell your name with your chin.
aki34. Do you play sports? What sports?
i work out but i dont play sport lmao35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
without tv, music is my lifeblood36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
almost always37. What do you say during awkward silences?
i try to joke abt smth usually38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
someone who cares for me smh39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
T2, I LOVE TEA,,, 40. What do you want to do after high school?
university or nap 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
yes!! unless they’re super shitty42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
i’m nervous, anxious or overthinking43. Do you smile at strangers?
i try to ??44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
oo fuck outer space ty45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
,, honestly talking to lovely ppl46. What are you paranoid about?
people abandoning me or being completely alone and shut in and just,, closed away from the world47. Have you ever been high?
tba48. Have you ever been drunk?
not rly lmao i have a high tolerance 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
,, UM,,, lowkey yes50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
olive51. Ever wished you were someone else?
before, yes. now? nah, i’m pretty good 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
highkey wish i was less anxious 24/7
53. Favourite makeup brand?
NARS. nars. or kat von d altho i hate what she stands for
54. Favourite store?
T255. Favourite blog?
,, idk? 56. Favourite colour?
blue / green!!57. Favourite food? 
creme brulee58. Last thing you ate?
a rly good double cheese burger59. First thing you ate this morning?
croissant60. Ever won a competition? For what?
knowledge of novels for school!! or art wise, i’ve won a few comps inside our school61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
nope62. Been arrested? For what?
nada63. Ever been in love? 
smh i fall in love,, way to easily64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
,, jeez i hate the person who it was with, but it was underneath the harbour bridge after chocolate strawberries and a picnic,, she asked if she could kiss me and i said yes65. Are you hungry right now?
jfc not rly im super content tbh66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
no @official-akko is a binch (im kidding i love u)67. Facebook or Twitter?
fb68. Twitter or Tumblr?
tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now?
nope but i was watching law and order svu 70. Names of your bestfriends? 
beauty, my cat71. Craving something? What?
cuddling someone and gently lying my head on their chest 72. What colour are your towels?
white!!72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
3 binch73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
yes!!74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
on my bed is 2, but i think at least 5+ around 75. Favourite animal?
i love,, cats,,,, so fucking much 76. What colour is your underwear?
wouldn’t u like to know77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
vanilla78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
mm cookies and cream?79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
dark bluuee80. What colour pants?
grey81. Favourite tv show?
right now its between brooklyn 99 and stranger things82. Favourite movie?
i will never stop loving mulan or the princess diaries 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
mean girls 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
mean girls i guess 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
,, janis ian86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
uh the turtle smh87. First person you talked to today?
ash!! 88. Last person you talked to today?
rn, its niko89. Name a person you hate?
me90. Name a person you love?
ash91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
GOD this one asshole from school i will actually brawl92. In a fight with someone?
not rly?? idk93. How many sweatpants do you have?
at least 494. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
5!!95. Last movie you watched?
legally blonde pfft96. Favourite actress?
i lowkey love madelaine petsch97. Favourite actor?
shrugs loudly98. Do you tan a lot?
no im pale af99. Have any pets?
a cat!!100. How are you feeling?
tired, coffee makes me tired101. Do you type fast?
yep!! i can touch-type too so i dont even have to look most of the time as well lmao102. Do you regret anything from your past?
waayyy too fuckin much regret over what ive done to myself 103. Can you spell well?
ye!!104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
,, my grandma :105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
nope lmao106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
,, i think i have,,, 107. Have you ever been on a horse?
yes!! i go horseriding at least four times during the year108. What should you be doing?
sleeping probably109. Is something irritating you right now?
i have a fuckin itch on my leG110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
yep,, oh boy 111. Do you have trust issues?
i already answered this lmao112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
,, my sister because i wanted her to comfort m e shes v sweet113. What was your childhood nickname?
”leash”114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
yes!!115. Do you play the Wii?
sometimes116. Are you listening to music right now?
i am, its glass animals :””^117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
yes!!118. Do you like Chinese food?
eh, iffy but i dont mind it!119. Favourite book?
THE NAME OF THE WIND BY PATRICK ROTHFUSS120. Are you afraid of the dark?
only a lil121. Are you mean?
,, i think i am sometimes122. Is cheating ever okay?
never ever ever ever is it okay.123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
yes! if not i fuckin clean em wth124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
not rly? i think love is something you have to grow and share together, kind of like a garden plant? works gotta go into it for it to blossom 125. Do you believe in true love?
i believe in it!126. Are you currently bored?
,, yea lmao127. What makes you happy?
memes, reading and tea ngl128. Would you change your name?
birthname? ye, probably lmao129. What your zodiac sign?
cancer! im an emotional fucking crab130. Do you like subway?
ye!131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
remind them im a lesbian132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
binnch this is a past question133. Favourite lyrics right now?
”Our skinIn time would tellCan I hold on to our genesIn my lifeI could not failWhen I run out will you leave?”
134. Can you count to one million?
i can but i’d loose track i have attention issues pfft135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
”i was late because my cat threw up one on of my school uniforms and i had to change”136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
closed, idk who can trust anyone that much to keep them open137. How tall are you?
5′7!138. Curly or Straight hair?
i have wavy hair if this is asking m e139. Brunette or Blonde?
blonde140. Summer or Winter?
winter141. Night or Day?
night142. Favourite month?
july bc its cold and my birth month143. Are you a vegetarian?
nooppe144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
milk chocolate!145. Tea or Coffee?
tea146. Was today a good day?
meh, highs and lows 147. Mars or Snickers?
mars148. What’s your favourite quote?
either:a. “And what we learn about ourselves in those moments, where the trigger has been squeezed, is this: the past is not dead. There are things that wait for us, patiently, in the dark corridors of our lives. We think we have moved on, put them out of mind, left them to desiccate and shrivel and blow away; but we are wrong. They have been waiting there in the darkness, working out, practicing their most vicious blows, their sharp hard thoughtless punches into the gut, killing time until we came back that way.” from Trigger Warning (Short fictions and disturbances), neil gaiman
or
b. “Perhaps the greatest faculty our minds possess is the ability to cope with pain. Classic thinking teaches us of the four doors of the mind, which everyone moves through according to their need.First is the door of sleep. Sleep offers us a retreat from the world and all its pain. Sleep marks passing time, giving us distance from the things that have hurt us. When a person is wounded they will often fall unconscious. Similarly, someone who hears traumatic news will often swoon or faint. This is the mind's way of protecting itself from pain by stepping through the first door.Second is the door of forgetting. Some wounds are too deep to heal, or too deep to heal quickly. In addition, many memories are simply painful, and there is no healing to be done. The saying 'time heals all wounds' is false. Time heals most wounds. The rest are hidden behind this door.Third is the door of madness. There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. While this may not seem beneficial, it is. There are times when reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind. Last is the door of death. The final resort. Nothing can hurt us after we are dead, or so we have been told.” - The name of the wind, patrick rothfuss
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
yes!! i believe that ghosts exist lmao, or at least guiding spirits 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?
“… but he left his doubts unspoken. Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.” - Game of thrones lmao
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