#ig i just still do it now at 20
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everyone-with-a-para · 10 days ago
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hope everyone w paras who have dead siblings have a good day
(i have so many it's starting to become and addiction hahaha /j)
^^^^^
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zymstarz · 9 months ago
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
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#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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unlikelyapricot · 13 days ago
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I also do very agree that its so interesting seeing what differs w different isat playthroughs!!!!
#I finished my first run with 58 loops in 50 hours#i didnt get 2 hats/ sus odile/ bad touch#its so annoying remembering all the times i accidentally clicked dialogue trees without realising dndnxnx#like very on me bc the skip dialouge button is there#but i didnt trust it (still havent checked if i should?)#n sometimes i just missed stuff cause of it#i also didnt even unlock dagger resets#did not know that was an option till i went out into the fandom#ig i really didnt use tears much#i never checked the infirmary (sorry bonnie and odile TT)#checked the poem room once (id googled and knew the openphrase was there sjdjdj)#and i think i checked the observatory maybe twice? maybe 3 times?#i somehow never forgot the key in the classroom after that first time where you couldnt get it- same w the library key#so thats once for the head housemaidens office once for the classroom once for the sharpening stone =3#3+3+1=7?#n i think its 10 to unlock dagger?#so yeah that sounds right#looking at the isat map on steam theres a hidden room in the dog room????#i didnt know that either fnxnxnxn#aaaa i wanna play again#but now i must sleep#and then work#isat#isat spoilers#unlikelyapricot#ahhh nvm googled it and its 20 tears for dagger unlock so i was very under#i thiiiink i did get to 10 bananas?#can check by trying to eat banana when i do my final loop#im sure someone did a poll recently on how many loops peoples first runs were#i cant remember who but im pretty sure thats what got me to actually play djdnfndn and now i wanna compare
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jacuzziwaters · 2 months ago
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I wish I'd stop wasting brain space on people who probably haven't even thought about me
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nightatthemuseum · 3 months ago
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ive been at work 4 hours and have only had 9 customers this is crazy
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reverie-starlight · 1 year ago
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going from literally not being able to handle school and hating myself for setting myself up for failure these past two years to submitting stuff on time and actually putting in the effort this semester feels so surreal, I genuinely forgot I could do it.
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seaofreverie · 5 months ago
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The Me who bought tickets to see TMBG in february 2023 and the Me who's going to actually go to the show next month are two completely different people
#slash extremely negative#it's funny to actually live this whole sort of cliche of: the time between buying tickets and going to the show can be so absurdly long#with what was supposed to be my 1st 'real' concert no less#'i bought the tickets as a teenager but i'm going to see them in my 20s etc' and stuff like that#and then when it gets rescheduled too... well. a year and 9 months is in fact a pretty long time!!!#and i'm not even talking about rescheduling due to covid because god at least i didn't have to deal with that i guess#(it IS funny though that by the time the 30th anniversary of flood tour ends#flood will be 2 months away from turning 35. so yeah lmao a lot happened in the meantime huh)#anyways day two of going crazy going insane for no reason other than well i guess that's just my life now!!!!! 😃😃😃#me when i say i'll stop documenting my rapidly progressing mental breakdown online and then keep doing it anyway#but idk maybe this will heal me in some way. my only hope rn no joke#and my mom actually seemed to be unsure if i we should book the hotels and stuff because. ig i'm this obviously unwell even over the phone#but BY GOD this is the only thing i can really look forward to right now i really need this to survive#(trying to forget how i was doing in september of last year when they rescheduled the tour#and i couldn't even be sure if i'd ever get to see them in the end lollllll#and at the heights of my tmbg obsession this was my number 1 dream. i mean it still is)#also i think i'm finally entering my tmbg autumn era now with some more frequent listening after not doing so for a while#how could i let myself pretty much forget that i love tmbg??? and that their music is so good and makes me happy???#they're still my fav band of all time just like they were back then. THAT didn't change at least#it's just that now they share that spot with sparks also lol. can't choose between them and why should i anyway#what else. ig i just hope i get the energy to finally draw tomorrow at least#because if i don't turn the ideas i have into reality then they will never become real! and that would be so sad#so maybe this can be my main reason to continue for now. whatever#goosepost
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waywardsalt · 8 months ago
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so um. very glad that throughout all this time i never had the end poem spoiled to me
#i uh. i thought that beating the game would feel cheap bc i cheated and got tired of it and sped to the end#but uh. no. that. poem. it makes it all worth it. kinda feels like a culmination of all my time playing minecraft yknow#not gonna stop now ofc i have some worlds i might mess around in but. i did beat the game#i did beat minecraft finally. i did fight the dragon in easy mode i decided to allow it be some kinda fight#its whatever tbh. but the end poem is. uhm. god#yeah adding minecraft to the list of things (media ig?) that got me close to crying#shame i struggle to cry in general but fucking god man. thats a good end poem#yknow id been wondering abt that minecraft song (alpha) and wondering just what it’d be used for in game#finally found out. holy shit. there was smth i wanted to say hang on#its wrong to say exactly that i never had it spoiled to me- more that i didnt actually know what it was#zeemyth used parts of it in his farlands vid and i’d worried that he’d used most of it#but no. no no no i have never ever seen the full thing before#ooooooh boy. its a good end poem for dismissing any guilt i wouldve felt for cheating#salty talks#minecraft#i still. have mixed feelings abt the game. i still need to find out a way that i like playing it#i play on hypixel every so often. i think i enjoy that? its been a bit i do like it with friends#i remember running a warrior rp house in there it got briefly popular (idk ~20 ppl at one point i think it was years ago)#its moon landing day but also salty finally beats minecraft day#didnt even beat it on my computer (same acct tho) bc it does not run well on my computer a lot of the time#oh fuck no these credits are like an hour long? how do i skip this shit i got what i came here for
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widevibratobitch · 1 year ago
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aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.
#time to slightly overdose my depression meds again ig lol#anyway. it is a little better with me these last two weeks. turns out the meds do work when you actually take em regularly#but first my best friend's break up that she's blowing up to unimaginable size#acting as if she just got divorced with the love of her life after 20 years#and not ended a few months long relationship with a guy who's been the source of most of her troubles since the moment they started dating#(ofc she's valid and id never tell her that because like. i get it. some people feel stuff more deeply. but its hard to be supportive#when you genuinely feel like this is the best possible outcome for her and that the relationship was only dragging her down all this time)#and now this. and this is gonna be infinitely worse. and then it's gonna get a million times worse when he actually does die.#and i feel like the worst most selfish person ever which like. probably am. but i did tell my cousin who actually knows my mom really well#and she said she understands and that my fears ARE valid because SHE'S terrified of how she's gonna handle my mom#and she wouldn't wanna be me in that situation cause it's gonna be so much worse for me lmao#like i feel like people who know my mother casually really dont understand just how unhinged emotionally she is#anyway. i feel so overwhelmed. i cant handle this jesus.#but im also emotionally unavailable and refuse to actually confide in another person because i dont want to be a bother <3333#god i love tumblr. i can literally type anything in those tags lol it's the perfect form of venting since you can just scroll by#but i will still have let it out of myself anyway uwu i literally dont need that therapy fr#anyway. i feel so unbelievably fucking lonely and on one hand it's my own fault for withdrawing and refusing to ask for help.#but on the other hand. i AM alone. like there's no one who can help me in this particular situation.#i have no siblings. obviously my dad isnt gonna help. it all falls down to me. good god. i wanna throw up.
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princekirijo · 1 year ago
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Writing Shadow Ops lore is pretty fun actually
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daz4i · 2 years ago
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girl i should kms just to spare the world from my brain. not bc it's hurting others or smth but bc it's literally so shitty that it actively makes the world worse
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skippingseaglass · 1 year ago
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MY GOD. I CAN FINALLY UPDATE ALL MY BIOS. I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT A LITTLE BIT AND GETTING VERY SLIGHTLY WORRIED I WOULD FORGET. BUT I REMEMBER. YES
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constellation-falchion · 1 year ago
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why on earth do I always have future-life-crisises on random ass weekdays
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narcjsistx · 5 months ago
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𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐇𝐂𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 | reo, isagi, kaiser (part one)
𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!
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— reo mikage
✶ don't even remotely expect to lift a finger in his presence. the princess treatment in his relationships is MANDATORY, he simply loves to do the things that the people he loves want. it would be something like "I know you can do it, but I'm your boyfriend, so let me do it for you"
✶ I think one of the things he loves most about his partners is when they are dressed in shades of purple or maaaybe white, in clothes given by him. do you want to bring him to his knees? do as I tell you, trust me!
✶ kind of guy who would post you everywhere, like: his ig profile feed is made up of 80% of posts with you or dedicated to you, the remaining 20% ​​are photos relating to soccer. he loves to show you off, and above all he does all those trends (even the cringe ones) like posting your girlfriend with a certain song on a certain day
what would he post on socials ↓
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✶ his concept of family is quite normal, sooner or later he would like to have a family, actually, the idea of ​​getting married has never displeased him. as a child, being the only heir of the Mikage, he had to bear all the expectations alone... therefore, his idea would be to at least have two children, not that he wants to share the expectations between them! simply as a child he suffered a lot from being the only child
✶ jealosy level: 4/10 (he's not the jealous type! he might only be more so in cases where he sees someone trying with you EXTREMELY too hard)
✶ flirtiness level: 6/10
✶ pet names: "babe" / "precious"
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— isagi yoichi
✶ even though on the field he seems to have bipolar disorder, isagi is literally one of the most possibily boyfriend in the entire verse in my opinion. he's just a chill guy who takes soccer a little too seriously, but hey, you love him for that reason right? yeah, absolutely yes
✶ he's someone who would be embarrassed by a kiss even after years and years of being in a relationship. at the beginning of your story, he had to take a lot of his courage just to ask you if he could hold your hand, but over time he got used to it. with kisses, well... he still gets embarrassed, even though he's often the one who initiates them. he's just a sweet coward in this things
✶ he is someone who, in my mind, cares a lot about gifts related to the phases of the relationship, such as those for the first month together, the six months and so on. not huge gifts, he keeps those more for more important dates, but gifts like letters, stuffed animals or bracelets found at random moments of the day and which immediately reminded him of you for some reason that only he knows
what would he post on socials ↓
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✶ his concept of family is actually based a lot on what he had. he doesn't exactly have a preference on the number of children, one or five would be fine, he just knows that he will love them no matter what. getting married has never been a thought he's actually spent 5 minutes thinking about every now and then, but now with you he's pretty sure that asking you to spend your life with him is a great excuse to see you in the white dress
✶ jealosy level: 2/10
✶ flirtiness level: 3/10 (more in private, but absolutely not in public, he just can't do it)
✶ pet names: "cutie" / "y/n chan"
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— micheal kaiser
✶ your relationship is certainly interesting, maybe not one of the healthiest, but you can't say you don't care for each other. Kaiser definitely has some problems related to trusting or in any case "letting himself be discovered" by other people, but surely you are the closest person to him at the moment, hell, you are literally the emperor's girlfriend!. micheal knows very well that he is not a simple person and just the fact that you continue to not let him go, and he wouldn't blame you, means a lot. will he ever admit it? no, obviously not, because he also has a problem, or perhaps more than one, with expressing himself
✶ Ness, one way or another, will have to worship you too. Ness probably just wants to strangle you because you stole the little attention Kaiser gave him, but if Kaiser says he has to worship you like he would him, Ness will do it without a word. Kaiser doesn't even minimally accept someone saying anything remotely comparable to an insult to you, let's say his love language is to protect your respect. he wouldn't mind throwing a punch at someone who even called you "stupid", it's something he can't stand
✶ even if you are not cheering for him at the stadium when he plays, which is quite strange because you are there all the time, you already know beforehand that if he scores a goal, it will obviously be dedicated to you. it's something he always found beautiful when he was little, when he saw videos on public screens in Berlin: seeing then-famous footballers dedicate goals to their girlfriends seemed so exciting. he's the emperor now, right? he must repay his empress somehow for always being so good to him
what would he post on socials ↓
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✶ well, we all know that Micheal didn't grow up with any concept of family, or rather, he never actually had one. having children actually scares him, and the same thing happens even if he just thinks about getting married. he is simply afraid, and indeed he is sure, that sooner or later everything would turn into what he experienced in Germany with his father. it would take a LOT of reassurance, and maybe therapy, to eventually have children and get married. he actually wouldn't be a bad father, because he knows what it's like to live in a toxic house with someone who doesn't really love you, and he doesn't want his heir to go through the same thing he went through when was a kid. Kaiser is not like his father, and never will be, and just the thought of being like this with his kids makes him vomit
✶ jealosy level: 8/10
✶ flirtiness level: 9/10
✶ pet names: "schatz" / "mein liebling" / "doll"
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angeisherexoxo · 3 months ago
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EVERYONE HEAR ME OUT (I think I was so close to entering the void)
From what I noticed, void is literally just as simple as sleeping, but because we suddenly heared about it we thought it's something way too complicated and "impossible" and that's what made us take a little processing the whole thing and practicing it ig, but the last week I was sick, and tbh I had no energy to overthink the attempt like I always did, so I layed down in my bed, wrapped up myself in a blanket and since I always fall asleep when I'm laying, I sat a LITTLE and supported my back with pillows so My position can be both comfortable and a mix between sitting+ laying, and literally I was just there, took breathes, said I'm in void (affirming), and I had a void subliminal playing out on my sister's phone (mine is broken), as I said I had no energy to do extra work which is (overthinking it/overcomplicate it) and as I'm sick I was low-key between being aware and unaware, I took like 10 or 20 minutes idk but it was the most successful attempt so far, I suddenly realized that I can't hear the subliminal on my sister's phone? I LITERALLY CANT HEAR ITT, I was like bitch where is it? It's just gone even tho it was right next to my pillow, but what confused me is I could first feel my body and second feel my room, I wasn't in void completely or idk really, I still affirmed anyways, and once I was done (let me tell you how I was done, once i stopped hearing the subliminal.. my dumbass started wondering why it stopped and where did it go lmao, so i focused on it again and thats where i started hearing it which means if i was close now im not☠️😭 ) I realized it wasn't void but I guess it was close enough? I have no clue but guys! This gave me so much hope and knowledge, I knew it's just by letting the whole thing go and literally just exist!!! (Even while im laying down i had soooo many thoughts i cant even remember them, i was just randomly overthinking while breathing and being there) Yk when you're down and you have ZERO energy to go throughout the day? Yes, do this with the void, act so chill and be like meeh and you'll be in, plus I read a post here that's still stuck in my head idk the acc but it said : "void is just like sleeping, when ur going to sleep do you complicate it and say I'm going to sleep I'm going to sleep? Like you're going to war or smthn?"
The point is to not complicate it and remember that BITCH YOU'RE DOING IT FOR THE SAKE OF YOU!!!!!!! DONT BE LAZY, DONT COMPLICATE IT BECAUSE YOU DESERVE HAVING IT SO EASY SINCE U STRUGGLED FOR THIS LONG, IT ALL FOUND YOUUUU FOR A REASON, YOU GO GET THAT REASON DONEE!!!!!
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1. I'm consistently affirming for void whenever I can despite what I feel or see.
2. It exists
3. It's easy af.. It's like- idk for example its as easy as walking but I can't explain walking so you gotta do it yourself type of thing
I hope I helped <3
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slut4thebroken · 22 days ago
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mouth cockwarming hcs
Idk I had an idea lol but I couldn’t figure out which character to use so I just decided to do this instead
Bucky Barnes
Dick Grayson, Jason Todd
Spencer Reid
Cillian Murphy, Emmett, Jackson Rippner, Jonathan Crane, Lenny Miller, Neil Lewis, Raymond Leon, Robert Fischer, Tommy Shelby
(Warnings: daddy kink for a few of them (no incest), a little bit of age play ig?, ionno lol)
Bucky Barnes - He’s no virgin, obviously, but cockwarming in your mouth? That was definitely a new one. It’s not his favorite, but he likes seeing you so relaxed and calm. It reminds him that he’s capable of being gentle with someone so delicate. Plus it’s not too hard— he’s had decades to practice restraint, so he can handle sitting still under you while you nap with his cock in your mouth.
Dick Grayson - Honestly, he gets it— he has an oral fixation too lol, but he usually eats pussy instead. Dick prides himself on being a gentleman though so he’s had plenty of practice putting up with a boner for the sake of not ruining an innocent moment with a girl… Usually he just reads a book or watches a movie to try and not focus on the fact that his cock is literally in your mouth.
Jason Todd - He thinks it’s cute. You’re already so tiny compared to him, but when you use his dick as a pacifier? You just look so fucking adorable. If you’re ever in a situation where you can’t cockwarm him with your mouth, usually you’ll settle for suckling his fingers or his thumb— but you don’t like it as much because the calluses on his hands are too rough compared to his smooth, (sometimes) squishy cock.
Spencer Reid - He gets a little antsy to be honest, but if he has a book or some paperwork to go over, he can usually sit still long enough for you to get your fill. He knows exactly why people find comfort in this sort of thing, and he knows exactly why you specifically find comfort in it. So he doesn’t judge or think it’s weird. He likes being the one that you go to for this comfort.
Cillian Murphy - He finds it a little odd, but as long as you’re happy, he’s happy. Plus he likes how paternal and protective he feels when you’re laying on his stomach suckling on the head of his cock while he pets your hair. It’s usually enough to get you to fall asleep too. He thinks it’s cute hearing your soft snores as you drool a little bit around his cock.
Emmett - Makes his daddy kink go wild tbh. His little girl using his dick as a pacifier? Yeah. Half the time, he can control himself. But sometimes (usually after at least 20 minutes so you can have enough time to enjoy yourself) he’ll gently push on your head, urging you to start sucking more. You whine, but end up doing it anyway just to please him.
Jackson Rippner - Doesn’t like it at all. If you do it right after he fucks your face and shoots his load down your throat then he can usually put up with it for a little bit. But other than that, he doesn’t have the patience for it. Sometimes when you’re napping and he sees you sucking on your thumb instead, he feels a tiny bit of guilt very, very deep down... But not enough to get him to change his mind lol.
Jonathan Crane - He thinks it’s weird as fuck. Honestly he wants to delve deeper into whatever thing from your childhood gave you an oral fixation, but he resists (for now at least). He’s usually pretty good about not turning it sexual, unless he’s particularly frustrated or stressed from work or his… extracurricular activities.
Lenny Miller - He doesn’t really mind. Honestly, he finds it a little relaxing too. He likes coming home after a long, stressful day at work and just laying with his little girl, petting your hair while his dick rests in your mouth, feeling you suckle on the tip while you hug him tightly until you both fall asleep.
Neil Lewis - He’ll try it because you want it so badly, but after less than ten minutes of his cock resting in your mouth, he’s already hard and leaking. He ends up whining and squirming, trying to get you to suck his cock properly until you eventually just give in and blow him. If you do it right after an orgasm, he can usually last longer, but if not, you have ten minutes tops before he gets too needy.
Raymond Leon - He feels the same was about this as he does about most ‘relaxing’ things: it’s a waste of time. So he often tries to work while you’re falling asleep. You’ll lay between his legs with your head resting on his hip, his cock sitting in your mouth, and he only complains if he doesn’t have enough space to use his laptop/tablet.
Robert Fischer - He understands… When he’s feeling subby, he’ll sometimes do that on your nipple. So even when he’s getting hard, he’ll try to ignore it and let you enjoy this for as long as he can handle it. He just reminds himself over and over again that you always let him nurse on your tits for however long he wants, so you deserve to nurse on his cock every once in a while too.
Tommy Shelby - He’s a master of self control honestly so he doesn’t mind it. Sometimes you’ll both lay down for a nap and you’ll suck on the head of his cock until you fall asleep, sometimes he sits up in bed and reads or does some work. Either way, he doesn’t really mind it. Plus you always seem extra inclined to reward him for his patience when you wake up from a nap with it still in your mouth.
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