#if you have mental health issues or just like rock music with a deeper meaning
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claymoresofinfamy23 · 4 months ago
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TW ALLUSIONS TO ABUSE
OK, this is random. But when Citizen Soldier’s Hallelujah (I’m Not Dead) played on my Apple radio a couple months ago. I did not expect to love this band nearly as much as I love Skillet. Which we all know is my favorite band of all time. Like holy shit. I really like this band. And that makes me laugh because I used to get irritated when anyone would even mention, Branching out and listening to something other than Skillet. I guess after you get out of a abusive situation, and heal past the rebellion phase, you end up finding things you really like other than that one band you’ve always really loved. And you end up realizing that you like rock music not just Skillet. Just some 3 AM thoughts
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deancasbigbang · 1 year ago
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Title: Soft and Slow
Author: Maxine
Artist: Reverie
Rating: Teen
Pairings: Dean/Cas
Length: 45000
Warnings: Mental health issues, mentions of alcohol abuse
Tags: Fake relationship, mutual pining, bad dancing, idiots in love, light humour, mild angst, canonverse, season 14
Posting Date: October 18, 2023
Summary: Team Free Will is dealing with the aftermath of Dean’s recent possession by Michael and the massacre at the bunker, when they are faced with yet another case. It’s right at home in Lebanon and seems uncomplicated at face value. However, things unravel when it turns out that investigation is at a dance studio, requiring Dean and Cas to pretend to be a couple and take dancing lessons together.   Takes place in season 14: a story of bad dancing, love, cat adoption, and Dean being a complete himbo. Loosely based on the Bollywood movie, ‘Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi’.
Excerpt: The music starts up again, slower and deeper than the tunes they’d had for the open embrace. Dean starts to rock to it with Cas, their bodies entangled in ways that Dean is just starting to notice. There are butterflies in his stomach, and he tries to ignore them as he clutches at the back of Cas’s t-shirt, their faces too close for comfort — so close that Dean can see each shade of blue in Cas’s eyes.   There’s silence between them, and even though the room is full of chatter from everywhere else, Dean feels like his and Cas’s world is at a standstill. He turns away from Cas’s gaze, unable to continue looking there any longer, and the silence stretches on, until Cas eventually breaks it to speak.   “Your reluctance to let me rest my forehead against your cheek,” Cas says, “is this another one of your issues with trying to look as heterosexual as possible?”   “No,” Dean snaps at him, “it’s just weird, okay? We’re friends. Don’t make it weird.”   Cas sighs. “I thought our years of friendship would mean that you felt secure enough to do things like this without finding it strange.”   Dean blinks at him, then realises what Cas is doing. “You’re fucking with me, aren’t you? You don’t care either way.”   Cas smiles just a little, and Dean feels something deep in his chest, like his heart is fluttering. Then the butterflies are back, flying around in his gut with gusto. There’s something about seeing Cas like this — relaxed and a little playful, that is so endearing to Dean, even if it’s at his own expense.   “I was just having some fun,” Cas replies at long last. “It is a little hilarious that being here makes you so uncomfortable.”   “Why me, though?” Dean asks him. “Sammy wasn’t happy to be here either.”   “Yes,” says Cas. “However,” he pauses, seemingly gauging Dean’s reaction to everything that has already been said, “you and I do share a more profound bond.”   The snort is out of Dean before he can control himself. A chuckle — relief that Cas is no longer as distant as he has been over the past few weeks, and Dean shakes his head.   “You know what, Cas?” he asks.   “What?”   “Fuck you.”
DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule
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specterscythe · 1 year ago
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Album Review: Genesis by Baby Bugs
Requested by Dexhatesnormies (it/xim) my wonderful partner <5
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Side note: I love the album cover, its so freaky /pos
TW FOR:
Cannibalism Depression Abuse Religion Swearing
I asked in a server I'm in with my partner whether they wanted a song analysis or an album review. More people said album review and one person gave a request, that being my partner.
I listened to it while walking at night and wow this is a depressing yet brutal listen. The vocals are so pained and so genuine, and the instrumentals are either hard hitting rock bangers or soft stripped back guitar. The lyrics in this album are so intriguing but for the most part I wont go too deep into them, as I'm no analyst.
Every song I've heard from this artist has been really well done, they feel like cries for help while also being really nice pieces of music.
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I will give a short sentence or two for every song on the tracklist and give my final full thoughts and score at the end.
I am not biased because my partner likes this album, I genuinely do like this utterly gut wrenching project. Enjoy the review!!
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PART 1: THE SONGS
AUTOTHEIST ★
SHORT THOUGHTS: RAHHHHH THIS SONG IS SUCH A BANGER. Genuinely garnered such a strong reaction from me. Goddamn this song is so good. Probably my favorite on the album. Its such a fuck you to religion I love that. Immediate playlister.
PRETTY FOR YOU:
SHORT THOUGHTS: This song is so fucked up but I love fucked up music so this song is great. The lyrics are powerful as they are sad. Its basically about someone trying to make themselves perfect for their partner, destroying who they are in the process. A real and soul crushing thing lots of people in unhealthy relationships face.
SINAHOLIC:
SHORT THOUGHTS: This one is such a fuck you anthem I love songs like this. Not much to say here, I really like it.
DRESS UP DOLL:
SHORT THOUGHTS: GOD THE VOCALS ON THIS PROJECT ARE SO GOOD. Baby Bugs is such a diverse vocalist, it kills it on this one.
ANGELS:
SHORT THOUGHTS: This is the song I have the least to say about. THE VOCALS ARE SO GOOD THOOO I LIKE IT.
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I just wanted to put a transitional photo here whoops
PUPPETEER:
SHORT THOUGHTS: A banger. This person can fucking make a banger and also make it fucked up. I love the production on this album and it was all done by baby Bugs. They're a very impressive artist!
TEDDY BEAR SYNDROME
SHORT THOUGHTS: I really hope the person who made this album is in a better place right now. This song is gut wrenching, just a stripped back vent. What a song /pos.
CANNIBAL GIRLFRIEND
SHORT THOUGHTS: RAHHH GIRL THAT EATS PEOPLE. This song goes crazy though its probably got some dark deeper meaning but RAHHH YEAHHH CANNIBAL GIRLFRIEND.
TAPEWORMS:
SHORT THOUGHTS: Similar style to Teddy Bear Syndrome, no flashy guitar just pure deep poetry. I hope this album helped Bowie's mental health. This album is so good.
I TOLD YOU SO:
SHORT THOUGHTS: I like it, I wish it went on a little longer. Probably if I had to pick this would be my least favorite.
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PART 2: FULL THOUGHTS
This album was a ride, 26 minutes of really good rock music. I'm definitely gonna listen to this again at some point, I really really enjoyed this listen! It's a very depressing deep album made with care and a genuine passion in the lyrics and production.
Goddamn this album is sad, but that is not a point against it. This album is a work of fucking art and MASSIVELY underrated. Give this album a listen if you can. Thank you to my partner DEXXX for recommending this to me, follow it!!
My only real issues were I wish it was longer, I feel like it needed more songs to fill the story but I love the story they told in this album.
Favorite songs: Autotheist ★, Sinaholic, Puppeteer, Teddy bear Syndrome, Cannibal Girlfriend, Tapeworms.
Least favorite song: I told you so
SCORE: 8/10
Listen to the album here: Genesis
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gothlovingoth · 1 year ago
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Ok your askbox doesnt work so lemme explain real quick, and I mean this in the most respectful way possible
Goth is a music genre. It began in the late 70s and has been kicking for 50 years now. Goth music is a genre of rock music that has roots in post-punk. It’s characterized by darker, deeper sounds, arrangements in minor key, and bass chord. You’ll also find synth, electric guitare, rhythmic low beats and high baselines. It’s melodic and dramatic, often melancholic, and quite beautiful.
The themes usually revolve around introspection and existentialism, beauty in darkness and sadness, love and tragedy, fantasy, and mysticism and the occult. It draws heavy inspiration from gothic and romantic literary movements. The Cure, Joy Division, Siousix and the Banshees, and Bauhaus, among others, are some of the most well known bands that shaped goth music. More well known Gothic bands include the Sisters of Mercy, Christian Death, Clan of Xymox, HIM, and the Cocteau Twins. Many other bands that aren’t per say goth have drawn heavy inspiration from goth music, such as Nine Inch Nails, Depeche Mode, and Malice Mizer.
Goth music is absolutely inextricable from the goth subculture. Much like punk, the subculture began with and around the music. Music isn’t just a detail or a quirk, it’s part of what they are. Goth began in clubs, that’s where people met, created something new, and eventually crafted an appearance that would signal them to others.
The thing is, music isn’t just music. It expresses ideas and feelings that people gravitate towards for more than aesthetic reasons. It resonates with a certain crowd. People of various backgrounds and stories are connected through it and find something in common there. An artistic vision, emotions and desires, ideas and convictions, etc. Music brings people together, quite literally in shows and venues, it unites us. Goth music, like punk music, is more than sounds.
Style is a form of self expression, it’s important and I don’t think it can be removed from what defines goth. Style can also not be removed from the music that defines goth.
Goth music is a lot about sentiments, existentialism, and the expression of vulnerability. It allows men to express sadness and vulnerability in a way that traditional masculinity doesn’t. It also gives women an implicit permission to not smile and defy the male gaze. Goth allows a subversion of gender roles and experimentation with sexuality that was all but non-existent. These ideas of liberation, honesty, and subversion are part of goth music, they are only found in the goth aesthetic because it reflects the music. The style would never have come to be if there hadn’t been goth clubs where it was safe to be. These ideas still exist because the music has carried them all this time.
Goth music derived from post-punk music. Goth is tied to class struggles and to anti-consumerism. It’s a counterculture, it’s always been a scene for queers, rejects, and outcasts. Goth artists have always been vocal about politics and social issues, about mental health and acceptance. It all goes through the music scene.
A lot of people are introduced to the subculture through style and that’s fine! I have no issue with people who saw a cool goth and thought I wanna look like them. This is all fine. If you actually want to be goth tho, you’re gonna have to learn about the music and listen to it. This is not a high bar or an unrealistic expectation. Anyone can do it. You have to have an interest in the thing the entire culture revolves around to be part of it.
That criterion is infinitely more accessible, realistic and inclusive than any other one based on looks.
I don’t care about identifying who’s a “real” goth and who isn’t, it’s a waste of time and unproductive. Most people don’t care either fr. I do care about the general watering down of goth to just an aesthetic with no cultural meaning and no artistic significance.
Goth is a subculture. It’s separated from the mainstream, that’s the definition of it. It cannot include everyone. That doesn’t mean that it’s bad, exclusionary, or that it tries to gatekeep, but merely that it has a definition that does not fit everyone. This is fine. It doesn’t mean we look down upon everyone else thinking we’re better. We literally just exist and it’s kind of annoying when people insist they’re totally one of us and then reject everything that defines us. I’m super happy to include just about anyone who wants to be part of it. The only condition is that you must learn where we come from to understand who we are. And that is goth music.
if you said youre a metalhead but dont listen to metal everyone in the world would call you a fucking moron but somehow people cant understand the same applies to goth and punk
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dankusner · 17 days ago
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Alex Van Halen digs through past in ‘Brothers’
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The world knew him as Eddie Van Halen, guitarist extraordinaire.
But to Alex Van Halen, he was Edward, maybe Ed, but never Eddie.
He was also a best friend, the sensitive soul who “couldn’t filter out criticism” and a reluctant guitar hero with a boyish grin.
And he was a brother, born 20 months after Alex, with whom he would form one of the most influential rock bands in history.
In “Brothers” (out Oct. 22, Harper Collins, 226 pages, $32), Alex Van Halen unloads his love for his sibling and the consuming grief he still experiences since Ed died of cancer in October 2020.
Their story includes the two-week boat ride from their native Holland to America in 1962 – the Van Halen family would settle in Pasadena, California – the brothers shunning their piano lessons to play rock ‘n’ roll after hearing The Beatles and the Dave Clark Five and Alex’s migration to the drums and his idolizing of Cream’s Ginger Baker.
As a band, Van Halen pioneered musical techniques (just listen to Eddie’s then-unheard-of finger tapping on “Eruption” or Alex’s engine-purring double bass drum opening on “Hot for Teacher”) while blitzing rock fans with “Jamie’s Cryin’, ” “So This Is Love?” “Beautiful Girls” and MTV staples “Jump” and “Panama.”
Alex, 71, doesn’t scrimp on entertaining anecdotes, such as how the roar that opens “Runnin’ With the Devil” entailed ripping the horns out of their cars, and when on tour with Ozzy Osbourne, the British rocker wandered into the wrong hotel and slept for two days.
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Alex also is unvarnished when discussing frontman David Lee Roth, whom he thinks was “angry at Ed for being too talented” and expressing his own anger when Ed agreed to play an uncredited guitar solo on Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”
(“Why would you burn up creativity on someone else’s record?”).
In an interview with USA TODAY, Alex Van Halen plunges deeper into some of the topics in the book, such as his own addiction issues and Ed’s health struggles, while also extending humor and thoughtfulness.
Question: The fourth anniversary of Ed’s death was earlier this month. Do you do anything in particular to honor him on that day?
Answer: I remember him every day. There isn’t a moment I don’t think about him and what we have done. We were together 65 years. That was a full lifetime of being on the phone yakking, agreeing, disagreeing – that’s what brothers do. But because we had a creative vision, that was the driving force and the motivation. Was writing the book cathartic or emotionally brutal? I was hoping it would be cathartic in a roundabout way. … A lot of stuff came up and forced me to look at certain aspects of our lives, and I’m not making a joke, I wouldn’t change any of it. My dad used to say, don’t live a life of regret. At the end of the book you mention that David Lee Roth was the first person you called after Ed died, yet there are plenty of instances throughout where you are very frank about the dynamic he brought to the band, good and bad. What is your relationship like with him now?
I think Dave is laying low right now. I don’t know his mental state in terms of how he’s dealing with all of this. I was taught early on that the music field isn’t about the notes and things, it’s about relationships and what we all had (in Van Halen) was deeply entangled. I don’t hold (Roth leaving Van Halen in 1985) against him. We’re not here to hold you prisoner. But it was very telling how the dynamic of certain entities got warped by the people around him. Dave was in the middle of (huge success) where he wasn’t thinking clearly, and he would admit that now. That’s the reason I called him first – only to find out that 23 years changes people.
Meaning, the conversation didn’t go as expected? He’s the not the same guy. But if he called me, I would answer the phone. It’s about human dignity and respect.
I know the book is about your bond with Ed and the musical magic you made together, but I don’t recall any mention of Sammy Hagar (Van Halen’s singer after Roth’s departure).
For me, the spirit of the band ended in 1984. We did good work after that, but the primary spiritual aspect, the magic, the potential, the looking to the future together, all of that stuff, our mutually strange backgrounds – that’s what made Van Halen. Ed and I were outsiders. Dave was an outsider. Those kinds of intangible things make the fabric of how we were tied together.
You’re candid with stories about your addiction to alcohol and getting hooked on benzos in the mid-’90s.
How do you manage to not fall into those traps while dealing with loss and sadness?
I have a good support network and ultimately what they teach you is that there is another force out there and to let it go.
Let the higher spirit take care of it.
How I tend to look at it is that I have responsibilities and you use every tool at your disposal, whether that is fear or taking care of your family.
Or look up.
I’d say to Ed, just look up and let it go.
How do you feel when you hear and see (Ed’s son) Wolfgang play?
He’s very careful not to be lumped in with Ed. He wants to be his own person and he’s fought for every foot of it. I told him early on, just keep going, don’t stop. The worst thing you can do is stop; the rest is up to the gods.
You mention in the book that you still have your first thousand-dollar Ludwig kit, but you can’t play?
I broke my back (in 2022), but I am healing. It happened right after the thing with Dave fell apart for the quoteunquote Van Halen tribute tour. Hey, 60 years behind the drum kit is grueling.
I’m sure ( U2’s) Larry Mullen Jr. would agree with you.
Larry Mullen, he has a very evenkeeled view of things. Months before (my back problems) I called him to see if he had a solution for my joint issues. But Larry opted for surgery, which is not the way to go. There are ways around things.
You make a point of saying early in the book that this would not be a backstage dirt type of expose, like Noel Monk’s “Runnin’ With the Devil” in 2018.
Noel is a lovely guy, but please you’re a tour manager.
And that was only because Dave, Ed and I were afraid a real manager would take us to the cleaners.
Besides, I’m the one who fired him. So that said, would you ever do a second book that focused more on the crazy stories?
We’ve still got to see where this one goes.
The main thing for me is to have closure with Ed. Because of COVID, it was difficult for me to see him at the end and a lot of people were jockeying for position and he was in a very fragile state. When I was in Switzerland with him (for experimental cancer treatments), we got him into rehab and that meant withdrawal and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. His doctor made me a bit of an enabler, saying you have to give him one of these pills every 15 minutes and Ed is standing over my bed waiting for the pill. But those are the moments he and I had alone. And he gave it a fight. He really did
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existentialmagazine · 1 year ago
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News: The American Hotel System just released their smashing new EP ‘Can You Hear It?’, an alt-rock exploration of the human experience
Michigan based alternative-rockers The American Hotel System have found themselves taking the music scene by storm since their 2018 beginnings, recently making their arena debut supporting the absolute legends Bon Jovi and only continuing to thrive and push forwards. With much time and love poured into a new chapter for the Grand Rapids quintet, the five-piece have found themselves offering everything they have into their outrageously infectious new EP ‘Can You Hear It?’
Embodying their signature modern alternative-rock sound along with a burst of indie euphoria laced in for good measure, so much of ‘Can You Hear It?’ will have you wondering why The American Hotel System aren’t already a name you’ve heard a thousand times before.
Opening with the title track ‘Can You Hear It?’ , the band offer an empowering journey that’s reflective on the past as well as pushing forward into the future. Written after their member Betts’ attended a lecture on the author C.S. Lewis, this title track is an ode to spiritual longing that sets the tone for the entire project, delving deep into emotions along with a grand sound to match. Boasting anthemic choruses that are loud and seriously addictive, you won’t be able to get enough just from this first single, so perhaps it’s an added delight that it also acts as a sonic bridge to their riff-ladened first single ‘Seattle.’
There’s more meaning buried within though, exploring heavier subject matters like Betts’ triumph over OCD on ‘Tripping’ through a more laid-back sound and lines like ‘my head starts spinning when I hear you call.’ The grief and loss of a loved one is also tied into the sweeping closer ‘Not The End’, an acoustically intimate journey through death and trying to continue after mourning someone cherished: ‘I’m feeling numb, I’m at a loss for words, searching for an answer to the questions of this earth.’ The blended acoustics and up-beat rock inside of ‘Fire’ looks to issue a reminder about the power of our words, while ‘21st’ revisits the band’s mission of promoting selflessness, together building a patchwork of thematic depth that’s more profound than you could ever anticipate. It’s almost unavoidable to feel and relate while you listen along to their sincerely written words, finding parallels to your own life and stories, as well as a sense of peace in the company The American Hotel System offer in your challenges.
“This collection of songs came together during an intensely personal time, as we processed big life events like marriage, parenthood, mental health struggles, and the loss of loved ones,” shares frontman Jacob Betts. “It’s a record about seeking meaning amidst the echoes of our souls.”
It’s not often a band share an EP with so many carefully written releases, all embodying a deeper meaning, but The American Hotel System want you to be absolutely mesmerised from start to finish on this 6 song project. Between all of this lyrical intricacy, the group also still manage to carry through their gripping alt-rock sound marked by intricate melodies, complex structures, and arena-ready energy, earning them critical acclaim that we’re sure will only continue after this storming EP meets everyone’s ears. From orchestral elements within ‘Fire’, to more explosive high-energy rock and acoustic nods, there’s so much within the style alone in this body of work that depicts the heavy-weighted storytelling without even needing the words to bring it to light.
From beautiful love songs to grieving ballads, ‘Can You Hear It?’ is a varied journey through the human experience, and we highly recommend checking it out for yourself here to get the full experience.
Written by: Tatiana Whybrow
Photo Credits: Unknown
// This coverage was supported and created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.
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bangwoolofbangtan · 4 years ago
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TIME
ENTERTAINER of the year
BTS
[Time magazine BTS interview ]
It’s late October, and Suga is sitting on a couch strumming a guitar. His feet are bare, his long hair falling over his eyes. He noodles around, testing out chords and muttering softly to himself, silver hoop earrings glinting in the light. “I just started learning a few months ago,” he says. It’s an intimate moment, the kind you’d spend with a new crush in a college dorm room while they confess rock-star ambitions. But Suga is one-seventh of the Korean pop band BTS, which means I’m just one of millions of fans watching, savoring the moment.
BTS isn’t just the biggest K-pop act on the charts. They’ve become the biggest band in the world—full stop. Between releasing multiple albums, breaking every type of record and appearing in these extemporaneous livestreams in 2020, BTS ascended to the zenith of pop stardom. And they did it in a year defined by setbacks, one in which the world hit pause and everyone struggled to maintain their connections. Other celebrities tried to leverage this year’s challenges; most failed. (Remember that star-studded “Imagine” video?) But BTS’s bonds to their international fan base, called ARMY, deepened amid the pandemic, a global racial reckoning and worldwide shutdowns. “There are times when I’m still taken aback by all the unimaginable things that are happening,” Suga tells TIME later. “But I ask myself, Who’s going to do this, if not us?”
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Today, K-pop is a multibillion-dollar business, but for decades the gatekeepers of the music world—the Western radio moguls, media outlets and number-crunchers—treated it as a novelty. BTS hits the expected high notes of traditional K-pop: sharp outfits, crisp choreography and dazzling videos. But they’ve matched that superstar shine with a surprising level of honesty about the hard work that goes into it. BTS meets the demands of Top 40’s authenticity era without sacrificing any of the gloss that’s made K-pop a cultural force. It doesn’t hurt that their songs are irresistible: polished confections that are dense with hooks and sit comfortably on any mainstream playlist.
BTS is not the first Korean act to establish a secure foothold in the West, yet their outsize success today is indicative of a sea change in the inner workings of fandom and how music is consumed. From propelling their label to a $7.5 billion IPO valuation to inspiring fans to match their $1 million donation to Black Lives Matter, BTS is a case study in music-industry dominance through human connection. Once Suga masters the guitar, there won’t be much left for them to conquer.
In an alternate universe where COVID-19 didn’t exist, BTS’s 2020 would likely have looked much like the years that came before. The group got its start in 2010, after K-pop mastermind and Big Hit Entertainment founder Bang Si-hyuk recruited RM, 26, from Seoul’s underground rap scene. He was soon joined by Jin, 28; Suga, 27; J-Hope, 26; Jimin, 25; V, 24; and Jung Kook, 23, selected for their dancing, rapping and singing talents.
But unlike their peers, BTS had an antiestablishment streak, both in their activism and in the way they contributed to their songwriting and production—which was then rare in K-pop, although that’s started to change. In BTS’s debut 2013 single, “No More Dream,” they critiqued Korean social pressures, like the high expectations placed on schoolkids. They have been open about their own challenges with mental health and spoken publicly about their support for LGBTQ+ rights. (Same-sex marriage is still not legally recognized in South Korea.) And they’ve modeled a form of gentler, more neutral masculinity, whether dyeing their hair pastel shades or draping their arms lovingly over one another. All this has made them unique not just in K-pop but also in the global pop marketplace.
In March, BTS was prepping for a global tour. Instead, they stayed in Seoul to wait out the pandemic. For the group, life didn’t feel too different: “We always spend 30 days a month together, 10 hours a day,” Jin says. But with their plans upended, they had to pivot. In August, BTS dropped an English-language single, “Dynamite,” that topped the charts in the U.S.—a first for an all-Korean act. With their latest album this year, Be, they’ve become the first band in history to debut a song and album at No. 1 on Billboard’s charts in the same week. “We never expected that we would release another album,” says RM. “Life is a trade-off.”
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Their triumphs this year weren’t just about the music. In October, they put on perhaps the biggest virtual ticketed show of all time, selling nearly a million tickets to the two-night event. Their management company went public in Korea, turning Bang into a billionaire and each of the members into millionaires, a rarity in an industry where the spoils often go to the distributors, not the creators. And they were finally rewarded with a Grammy nomination. On YouTube, where their Big Hit Labels is one of the top 10 most subscribed music accounts (with over 13 billion views by this year), their only real competition is themselves, says YouTube’s music-trends manager Kevin Meenan. The “Dynamite” video racked up 101 million views in under 24 hours, a first for the platform. “They’ve beaten all their own records,” he says.
Not that the glory comes without drawbacks: namely, lack of free time. It’s nearing midnight in Seoul in late November, and BTS, sans Suga, who’s recovering from shoulder surgery, are fitting in another interview—this time, just with me. V, Jimin and J-Hope spontaneously burst into song as they discuss Jin’s upcoming birthday. “Love, love, love,” they harmonize, making good use of the Beatles’ chorus, turning to their bandmate and crossing their fingers in the Korean version of the heart symbol.
Comparisons to that epoch-defining group are inevitable. “What’s different is that we’re seven, and we also dance,” says V. “It’s kind of like a cliché when big boy bands are coming up: ‘Oh, there’s another Beatles!’” says RM. I’ve interviewed BTS five times, and in every interaction, they are polite to a fault. But by now they must be weary of revisiting these comparisons, just as they must be tired of explaining their success. RM says it’s a mix of luck, timing and mood. “I’m not 100% sure,” he says.
They’ve matured into smart celebrities: focused and cautious, they’re both more ready for the questions and more hesitant to make big statements. When you ask BTS about their landmark year, for once they’re not exactly chipper; J-Hope wryly calls it a “roller coaster.” “Sh-t happens,” says RM. “It was a year that we struggled a lot,” says Jimin. Usually a showman, on this point he seems more introspective than usual. “We might look like we’re doing well on the outside with the numbers, but we do go through a hard time ourselves,” he says. For a group whose purpose is truly defined by their fans, the lack of human interaction has been stifling. Still, they’ve made it a point to represent optimism. “I always wanted to become an artist that can provide comfort, relief and positive energy to people,” says J-Hope. “That intent harmonized with the sincerity of our group and led us to who we are today.”
In an era marked by so much anguish and cynicism, BTS has stayed true to their message of kindness, connection and self-acceptance. That’s the foundation of their relationship with their fans. South Korean philosopher and author Dr. Jiyoung Lee describes the passion of BTS’s fandom as a phenomenon called “horizontality,” a mutual exchange between artists and their fans. As opposed to top-down instruction from an icon to their followers, BTS has built a true community. “Us and our fans are a great influence on each other,” says J-Hope. “We learn through the process of making music and receiving feedback.” The BTS fandom isn’t just about ensuring the band’s primacy—it’s also about extending the band’s message of positivity into the world. “BTS and ARMY are a symbol of change in zeitgeist, not just of generational change,” says Lee.
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And in June, BTS became a symbol of youth activism worldwide after they donated $1 million to the Black Lives Matter movement amid major protests in the U.S. (They have a long track record of supporting initiatives like UNICEF and school programs.) BTS says now it was simply in support of human rights. “That was not politics. It was related to racism,” Jin says. “We believe everyone deserves to be respected. That’s why we made that decision.”
That proved meaningful for fans like Yassin Adam, 20, an ARMY from Georgia who runs popular BTS social media accounts sharing news and updates, and who is Black. “It will bring more awareness to this issue people like me face in this country,” he says. “I see myself in them, or at least a version of myself.” In May and June, a broad coalition of K-pop fans made headlines for interfering with a police app and buying out tickets for a Trump campaign rally, depleting the in-person attendance. Later that summer, ARMY’s grassroots fundraising effort matched BTS’s $1 million donation to Black Lives Matter within 24 hours.
For 28-year-old Nicole Santero, who is Asian American, their success in the U.S. is also a triumph of representation: “I never really saw people like myself on such a mainstream stage,” Santero says. She’s writing her doctoral dissertation on the culture of BTS fandom, and she runs a popular Twitter account that analyzes and shares BTS data. “Anytime I’m awake, I’m doing something related to BTS,” she says. “This is a deeper kind of love.”
Devotion like that is a point of pride for BTS, particularly in a year when so much has felt uncertain. “We’re not sure if we’ve actually earned respect,” RM says. “But one thing for sure is that [people] feel like, O.K., this is not just some kind of a syndrome, a phenomenon.” He searches for the right words. “These little boys from Korea are doing this.” —With reporting by Aria Chen/Hong Kong; Mariah Espada/Washington; Sangsuk Sylvia Kang and Kat Moon/New York
FASHION CREDITS
RM: Jacket, shirt, pants and shoes HERMES; SUGA: Jacket, shirt and necklace CELINE. Pants GIVENCHY. Shoes LOUIS VUITTON; Jung Kook: Jacket, shirt, pants and shoes FENDI; J-Hope: Jacket, shirt, pants and shoes LOUIS VUITTON. Necklace HERMES; Jin: Suit, knit top and shoes BALENCIAGA; Jimin: Jacket, silk shirt, pants and shoes CELINE; V: Suit, shirt and shoes ALEXANDER McQUEEN. Tie THOM BROWNE.
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multmilk · 5 years ago
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Addiction | w.yh
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Pairing: Bestfriend!Lucas x Reader
Warnings: Use and mention of alcohol and cigarettes, mention of strippers (lol), angst & making out. Also suicide (mentioned not in a descriptive way but if you feel uncomfortable please do not read this. Do not risk your mental health for this, I love you!)
Word count: 2.5k
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Blue lights strobed around the room and loud music was playing, making the people dance wildly.
Lucas was sat in between two strippers with a glass of whiskey in his hand. He wasn’t even sure why he was watching these dancers perform for him when he could easily just watch you.
The two of you were inseparable, wherever you went he did too. There was just no way he would leave your side. Lucas always guided you throughout your poor life decisions—boys, cigars and liquor. He felt the need to always keep you safe and he doesn’t care if he gets in trouble in the process too. Another factor was that he was in love you.
He loved you ever since you saved him from whores living in his home that tried to consume and corrupt him. He loves the way you talk about the universe and your passion. He loves the warmth and gentleness your being brings to his soul. With you, he feels like the world just consists of you and him. Your eyes that could pierce his soul—oh how he loves getting sucked into them every time.
You were irrational and overly-sensitive when making decisions and Lucas was all there to straighten them out. He makes sure that when you drink and smoke, you don’t push your limit. He makes sure no boys could hurt or take advantage of you and he did all of those because he loved you.
You were currently dancing against Mark Lee and boy was he blushing. You looked gorgeous wearing a green silk slip dress that Lucas bought you. It’s been a month since you’ve been partying non-stop which deeply concerned Lucas but he couldn’t stop you, you were too stubborn for your own good.
As soon as the song ended, you strutted towards Lucas, eyes narrowing as you spotted the strippers he was sandwiched in between, at this Lucas chuckles. He signaled the erotic dancers to leave as soon as you seated on his lap, burying your head on the crook of his neck.
“Lucas,” you breathed. The way you said his name sent shivers down his spine. Just as he was about to reply with a cheeky remark, he felt tears on his neck. You were crying and lightly shaking.
“What’s wrong?” he gently pulled your head back to face him, his eyes searching for yours. Your eyes screamed of sadness and exhaustion, university really was taking a toll on you. You lay there in his arms feeling secure and like tomorrow would be better. For a second, you actually believe that everything will be okay. You’ll graduate with flying colors, you’re going to have your dream job, you and Lucas would still keep your friendship and you’d finally be able to commit into a serious relationship.
You had serious commitment issues, all product of your parent’s divorce (though it was better seeing them apart rather than them tearing and clawing at each other every minute) and your past boyfriend.
After your last relationship ended way back in 2018, you started getting addicted to boys. You slept with people then left them hanging. You toyed with their emotions and you felt powerful. It all was wrong until you met Wong Yukhei.  He led you towards the right path, he helped you realize and fix your mistakes. He shaped you into becoming a better person. You saw the light in him.
You needed a distraction away from the nagging thoughts inside your head, away from the demons living inside of you. You would not let yourself be destroyed by your own guilt and regrets, so you opted to drink and smoke your night away.
Lucas tried to get you to quit your unhealthy habit but you insisted that it was the only thing keeping you sane so he agreed. He was a great company, sometimes he’d even drink with you but never too much. You didn’t know why he was so afraid to let loose around you, it’s not like you haven’t seen him drunk before.
Anyways, as you calmed yourself, Lucas combed your hair and smiled at you. His smile was to die for, it probably was your favorite thing about him. His lips were so plump and soft—you thought about how it would feel against your own. You thought about his teeth biting down on your lip, his tongue playing dominance with yours. You weren’t even going to deny that you found your best friend attractive, I mean, who wouldn’t say he was right?
“Come with me to the restroom,” you suggested. He raised his eyebrows at you and you hit his shoulder lightly, giggling. You grabbed his hand and the two of you walking towards the girl’s restroom. You peaked inside the comfort room to see if there was anyone, seeing as you two would be alone you pulled Lucas inside with you. He stared at you with big and wild eyes, his lip was quivering as well. You laughed and put your hands on his neck.
“Y/N…” he trailed off. “Stop this. What even are you doing?” “Kiss me,” you said. His hands that were gripping once on your waist quickly retracted, you groaned at the loss of contact.
“Don’t you want me, Lucas?” his big eyes stared at yours like he was looking for something. “I do want you Y/N but this just seems way out of line. Did you drink too much? Do you want to go home?” then you kissed him. You kissed him again but pulled away once he didn’t kiss back. “Y/N, we can’t,” he stated firmly. “I just need to feel loved. Please, Lucas. Just this once,” for a moment, you felt like crying because of embarrassment. You humiliated yourself in front of your best fucking friend and on top of that, you probably scarred your most treasured friendship. fuck.
You felt his soft lips on yours, it felt like heaven, he felt like heaven. Lucas put his hands on your waist and yours on his hair, tugging lightly to which he moaned at. You were the one to pull away so that you could both catch your breath. “Just this once,” Lucas breathed and then pulled you to kiss him again.
Just this once quickly turned into days then into weeks ‘til you were fucked and it went on for months. Nothing much changed except that Lucas had fallen deeper in love with you, if that were even possible. The two of you pretty much fucked everywhere—after classes in the mathematics classroom, on his bed, on your couch, outside your porch, inside his bathroom, literally everywhere. You weren’t complaining because you knew you both wanted it.
Having sex with Lucas changed you though. You went to your classes feeling livelier than the day before, you finished the day looking forward to the next, you felt lighter. You weren’t the only one changing though, Lucas went to his classes more late than usual, he had eye bags weighing like tons of rocks and his hair disheveled albeit him convincing himself that he was happy.
He held you at night like he hasn’t before, the two of you were intimate and he was sure of that. He got to worship and appreciate your body and treat you like a queen. He had everything he could ever ask for so why was he so what was his problem? He thought about it for days and he knew why his feelings were a mess. It occurred to him that you may just be toying with him, maybe he was just another knot on your belt but he refused to believe that.
He tried his best to believe that you truly loved him. That your heart would beat the same as his when you two cuddled at night, but as longer the two of you fucked and lacked romance and passion, he was deeply convinced that you didn’t feel the same way about him. To feel at peace he asked you to meet him and he planned on confronting you.
---
You looked gorgeous and you knew it. You had a big smile on your face, you were ecstatic to tell Lucas about your day but your smiled dropped once you saw Lucas’ eyes. It was full of sorrow, it reminded you of what your eyes once were.
“I’m tired of this,” he simply says. Lucas doesn’t look at you. “Then you should rest,” “I’m tired of us, Y/N,” he stated again. You felt a pang in your heart, you weren’t quite sure why.
“Let’s stop then,” you replied back and took a step forward towards him. “It’s not easy to break what we have, you and I both know that,” “Then let’s go take a break. We can do that,”
He huffed and clenched his fists. He fucking huffed at you, what the hell was his problem? “Are you going through something? Are you okay? Because what the fuck Lucas”, you continued, “You do not invite me over just so you could clench and fucking get piss-“ “I love you,” he cut you off then he looked at you.
Ah, and there it was. His eyes he was trying so hard to hide. His eyes that held the truth and the affection. He loves you and you want to run away—so you did. You ran as far as you can, not caring that you were almost hit by multiple vehicles. You shouted and cried, you questioned why He has to be so cruel. Why he makes your best friend fall in love with you.
You didn’t deserve Lucas and you know it. You corrupted him enough already and this? Him falling in love with you, him wanting to have you as his forever? Everything made you feel mad. Next thing you know, you were out partying again. Lucas hasn’t called nor texted, he didn’t try to stop you when you ran away ‘He probably expected that already’ you thought.
It’s been exactly 4 months since Lucas confessed and you running away like a coward.
You had thought over and over about what you should do. Why you want to fix things, why you ran away, why you wanted him back. You were scared to try but you were willing to try. You loved him back so you approached him at lunch break.
He was sat with Mark and Donghyuck, they patted him on the back when they saw you approach.
“Hey, can we talk?” your hands were trembling. He took one look at you and he caved in. Truth be told, he didn’t want to speak with you. Both of you were hurt and he was just in the process of moving on from it. “Okay,” then you two walk outside.
---
“Lucas, I’m sorry,” when he didn’t respond you continued. “I’m sorry for running away that night. I know I shouldn’t have but I can’t take it back so I’m sorry,” you hear him sigh. “I-I want to try. I want to try to be in a relationship with you,” you see him wince at the word ‘try’ “Why?” he finally speaks. “Because I love you too, Lucas,” and then he shakes his head in disbelief. “You say you love me, it took you four months to realize that? Did all the partying and sex the past three months tire you, hm?” he was angry but you let him continue “W-why do you love me Y/N?” your eyes started to well. You weren’t sure how to answer him, you could tell him all the things you love about him and what makes him so lovable but you too weren’t sure why. “I was afraid of commitments. Scratch that, I still am. Wanting to try with you means I really love you, don’t I? Doesn’t that count for something? And you love me too,” you were crying now.
“So you love me because I love you,” it wasn’t a question, it was more of a statement but you nodded nonetheless. “You can’t love me just because I love you. You were addicted to me Y/N, hell you may still be!” his words were hurting you, it was making your heart ache. “You stopped drinking and smoking when we started fucking. You know why that happened Y/N?” a few students were looking at the two of you but Lucas didn’t seem fazed. “I was your drug. You used me to distract you and then you got scared because I actually had real feelings for you and you ran away because you were scared—and I understand that. But, you returning here just because what? You hurt me and you feel bad? You come back because you know that I would accept you again?” Lucas had started to cry too.
“You cannot love me just because I love you. It’s not fair,” he exhales, “I need to be with someone who truly loves me. I cannot settle for less, because that’s what I deserve,” he finally breathes.
For the first time, you felt happy. You know he didn’t deserve to be with someone as fucked up as you are and you were glad he made the decision not to. He leaves you there alone in the middle of the hallway, crying but you felt joy.
Wong Yukhei, your favorite drug. Everyone gets addicted to something , don’t they? Turns out that yours was your best friend and even if him leaving left a huge hole in your heart, to which you know couldn’t be filled again, you were happy he would stay away from you.
Maybe in another life you could be the person he deserved. You could be the person he would want to be with. Maybe in another life.
And with that, you closed your eyes as you felt blood leave your body and your vision became blurry. The last thing you saw was Lucas carrying you outside of your building and he was crying. He was trying so hard to keep you alive but you knew—you knew he was too late. You put your hands on his cheek and whispered, “I love you, Wong Yukhei. You will always have my heart. I love,” you were cut off as soon as you took your last breath. Lucas held you in his arms like he did back at the club when you wore that green silk slip dress.
date posted: apr 27 2020
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splendidlyimperfect · 5 years ago
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Written for @fuckyeahgratsu Gratsu Bingo 2019 [late entry]; prompt: life
Gray meets Natsu in the summer when neither of them are quite right - Gray’s broken and aching, and Natsu is trapped as someone he doesn’t want to be. But while Natsu is bold and alive and determined to discover his own way of being, Gray just gets more and more lost. Even Natsu’s brightness isn’t enough to make Gray feel whole, and he needs to figure out who he wants to become before he can start to feel okay.
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Chapter Summary: Natsu takes Gray on an adventure.
Chapters (7/7): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster Characters: Natsu Dragneel, Gray Fullbuster Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, POV Second Person, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Coming Out, Young Love, First Kiss, Nonbinary Character, Depression, Dysphoria, Suicide Attempt, Mental Health Issues, Recovery, Gender Identity, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, Suicidal Thoughts
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cicatrize (v.) to find healing by the process of forming scars
 Natsu shows up at your house on the first day of summer with a mix tape and a duffel bag.
“C’mon,” he says, taking your hand and pulling you toward the car. “We’re going on an adventure.”
Your parents have been cautious since the winter, but your mom adores Natsu and trusts him to keep you safe, so she lets you climb in the passenger seat of Rhapsody and head off into the mountains.
The drive is bright, and the sky is blue, and Natsu rolls down the window while he sings along to some pop music you don’t recognize. You tap your feet to the rhythm and when Natsu sees, he gives you a smile that makes your heart skip.
You wind through mountains and past fields, twisting further and further into places you’ve never been until you’re lost and full of wonder. You press your face against the window and stare down into the valleys of trees, across lakes the reflect the sun, up to mountain tops that are dotted with snow as they pierce the sky.
“You okay?” Natsu asks after a while. You look back over at him.
“Yeah,” you say, and you mean it.
The corner of Natsu’s lip quirks up and he glances over at you quickly with bright eyes before turning back to the winding road. “Are the meds helping?” he asks.
“I think so,” you say, thinking of the bottle of pills rattling in the bottom of your backpack. “They make it brighter.”
Natsu doesn’t say anything else, just reaches out and grabs your hand, squeezing it tightly as you head deeper into the places the world made before humans were alive.
~
Eventually you pull over for lunch on the side of the highway, sitting on the back of the car while you eat. Natsu made peanut-butter-and-jam sandwiches and they taste like being six and playing in the park.
You like food, now. It doesn’t hurt to eat.
“You hear that?” Natsu asks when you’re done, and you follow his gaze into the woods on the side of the road. You hear water, thundering down from the mountaintop, cutting through the earth and filling the forest with sound. Natsu turns to you and grins, jumping up and grabbing your hand.
You head into the forest, ducking under mossy branches and over roots that twist and break the ground, catching each other when you lose your balance. Sunlight filters through the trees, gentle and golden, and casts dappled shadows over both of you as you make your way further into the forest.
“We’re close!” Natsu says, tugging on your hand as the sound of pounding water gets louder and louder. He’s practically vibrating with excitement and it’s contagious, tugging you lips into a smile.
When you finally reach the waterfall, you can’t do anything but stare. It’s powerful and ancient, tearing its way through the rocks and crashing down into the basin at its base. Light spills and reflects off the surface of the water, and it calls to you, pulling you toward this primal, stunning force of nature.
You follow Natsu into the pool, rolling up your pants and shivering as the chill pricks at your skin. “It’s freezing!” you shout, hunching your shoulders against the cold spray of the water. Natsu just laughs, tipping his head back and closing his eyes as the mist plasters his hair to his head. He’s so bright and alive, and you feel like crying, but not because you’re sad.
Before you can change your mind, you grab your shirt and tug it off over your head. Natsu looks at you with wide eyes, then grins, wading through the shallow water to tuck your clothes up onto a rocky ledge. You hold each other’s arms as you kick off your pants and underwear, and then you’re both naked, shivering as the breeze throws droplets of icy water your way.
Natsu moves to cross his arms over his chest but you shake your head, reaching out for his other hand and gripping it tightly. For the first time since you met him, he looks shy, cheeks pink as he stares down into the water instead of into your eyes.
He’s gorgeous, and you want to tell him, but instead you pull him toward you as you back toward the waterfall, feeling your way over the rocks as the pounding water gets louder and louder. When you finally duck under the spray, it knocks your breath from you, slamming down onto your shoulders and plastering your hair to the back of your head.
You burst out laughing, tipping your head and letting the water run over your face. The rock is smooth against your back, holding you up as the water pounds down around you, terrifying and exhilarating. You feel weightless, like your body doesn’t matter. You’re a million tiny pieces, every little thing that makes up you, and the mountains, and the water that’s washing away the things that hurt.
When you finally step out of the water, Natsu is staring at you with a strange expression. You shake out your hair, sputtering and wiping water from your face, and he reaches out to grab your hand.
“I’ve never heard you laugh before,” he says softly, eyes searching your face. You stare at his freckles, at the scar on his chin, at the soft hairs that curl around the back of his neck.
It finally hits you that he’s waiting for you to kiss him.
You take a step closer and his eyes widen – bright and green and full of life. When your fingers touch his cheek he exhales, hand coming up to cover yours, and then he turns his head and kisses the scar on your wrist.
Tiny sparks of light race from your palms to your chest, tingling and bursting under your skin, and you slide your fingers into his hair. He trembles against you and you pull him closer, then tip his head up and kiss him.
It’s more right than anything you’ve felt in your life. He’s warm under your fingertips, alive and brilliant and so in love with you that you can feel it in the way his hands pull you close. You’re both surging, reckless beings, wild and dizzy with freedom and the summer sun.
When you finally break apart to breathe, his smile is radiant, and he runs his thumb over your cheek before nudging you back toward the water. You grin, pulling him close until you’re both under the fall, gasping for breath and laughing as you hold each other close. All you can hear is the dull roar of the water as it pounds down around you, and you pull him in for another kiss.
“I love you,” he whispers as you press together, fingers in your hair and on your hip. You can’t stop touching him. He shivers as your hands roam across his shoulders, slip down his arms, brush across his collarbone, pull him close by the small of his back. Your heart pounds when he pushes you back against the wall, pressing his thigh between your legs and kissing you like you’re the only thing in the world.
There’s nothing in the world right now except the way you fit together, and all the pieces of you that he loves.
“I love you, too,” you say against his lips, and they’re the truest words you’ve ever said.
~
The first time you met him, you were at the lake, and he wasn’t himself yet. You were broken and he was trapped, and everything had to shatter before it could be new.
But the first time you kiss him, you’re in the place where the world was made, and he’s himself, and you’re becoming.
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gaelforceplayroom · 6 years ago
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Hi PR Penguin I've been going through a pretty rough depression. I think things are getting better, but I'm still struggling w/ the feeling that I'm not liked; that ppl find me annoying & put up with me, but would rather I just go away. I'm just being myself & trying so hard ... maybe too hard ... to be liked & accepted, so it hurts. Sorry to bother u, I was just wondering if you had any thoughts to share. Thx for helping so many ppl who message u.
Hey lovely,
That’s depressions job to make you question your worth.
One thing I will say - the only opinion that should matter to you above all is your own.  Other people are great, but the first person who you want to have acceptance with is yourself.
It doesn’t mean you have to be perfect.  But even amidst all the things we can say about ourselves, we also know our beautiful sides and our strengths.
Look at yourself like a friend.  Speak to yourself like you would a friend.  If you wouldn’t let someone talk about your friend like that, don’t let your mind talk about you in a way that is beneath you.
We all want acceptance.  We all want to be liked.  But please try not to make that the cornerstone of your existence.
We don’t know what is going on in the lives of the people around us.  
Everyone is carrying their own pain, their own struggles and they may not handle you with the care you need especially when you have the additional battle of fighting depression.
I am a big fan of only worrying about what I can control.
I’ve had people make an assumption about me and create reasons to dislike me that are 100000% untrue.  But I can’t control them.  I can only control me.
You can only control you.
Treat yourself with kindness.  Kick yourself in the butt when you need to pull yourself up by the bootstraps.
Listen to peaceful or happy music when you’re feeling down (don’t wallow in sad music.  That’s just gonna sink you deeper and make things suck more.)
I have a long family history of depression and I know I have it as well.  And some days I can follow my own advice, and some days I have to ask for help.
You’re allowed to ask for help - but don’t make it a crutch.  You’re strong in your own right.  You have the ability to self comfort and the intelligence to learn what will comfort you when all the people around you are at a loss.
Me personally, when I am rocking that depression I watch adorable videos, silly animals or I watch things about kindness.  I shove as many positive images and sounds into my headholes as I can so I can flush out whatever yuckiness is trying to hang out in there.
Depression sucks.  And if the people around you make you feel bad, it’s not always the true, but your perception.  Or maybe the people around you have their own stuff going on and aren’t ABLE to be the rock you need at the time.
Be compassionate to them as well.  Reach out and help someone else.  It’ll take the focus off of you and knock the legs out of your depression for a bit.
And if you’re ever in a very bad headspace - Call a hotline.
There is NO shame in it and you know you’re going to get good advice from someone who actually knows what they are talking about.
I love you and know you are worth talking to.  Cuz look I just did :)  So hey that’s one person in your corner!
I’ll paste a list of hotlines to call should you ever need them.
I hope my wall of text somehow helped.  
Have a beautiful Christmas, Anon ♥
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For many people, depression is an extremely lonely experience. Calling a hotline gives you the opportunity to talk to a caring person who can help you work through whatever negative thoughts or feelings you have.
If this is an emergency and you need immediate assistance, please call 911.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, (800) 273‑TALK (8255), Live Online Chat: This 24-hour suicide prevention helpline specializes in handling all situations related to suicide and emotional distress.
Disaster Distress Helpline, 1-800-985-5990: If you are experiencing depression, anxiety, or stress as the result of a disaster, call this number to speak to someone.
National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-422-4453: Depression often exists in situations where child abuse is present, and this 24/7 national hotline exists to prevent child abuse. You can reach professional crisis counselors at any time in more than 170 languages, using an interpreter.
Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), 1-800-656-4673: This free, confidential, and national sexual assault hotline is operated 24/7 by RAINN, which partners with local sexual assault service providers all over the U.S.
The Trevor Project, (866) 488-7386: A 24-hour depression hotline for suicidal LGBTQ youth.
Veterans Crisis Line, 1-800-273-8255, Text a message to 838255: Many vets struggle with depression and other debilitating mental health issues. Veterans and their families can call, text, or chat online 24/7 for support.
Crisis Text Line, Text DBSA to 741741: This 24/7 crisis text line for anyone in crisis connects you with a trained counselor via text.
National Hopeline Network, 1-800-442-4673: This 24-hour depression hotline is for people who are depressed and thinking about suicide. When you call, you will be connected with a crisis hotline volunteer.
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gdreamzseternal · 5 years ago
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Ben Sharpio
Taught me something today.. while I don’t herd myself with whatever the fucking sheep party he hopped in. Way to go by the way BEN. I totally liked you til you brought up your need to add both a political and religious bias yuck different rant different day. I don’t hate him though I agree with ‘most’ of his perspectives. Anyway I digress..
Where the fuck did this idea of “safe space” and trigger warning come from? Nah if you are dramatically effected by words on a screen get the fuck off the site you’re on. Other people shouldn’t have to sensor themselves because you’re fucking sensitive. I have people comment on MY POSTS. People who don’t even follow me, telling me to tag my posts with a trigger warning. If you are so damaged by that particular subject why are you even browsing in tags that could potentially contain things related to your “trigger”.
God the internet has made us a bunch of cowards. Remember when stranger danger was legit and people weren’t so afraid to take risks!?
I have gender dysphoria. I love being a boy, a girl and everything in between. I don’t need to cut myself up (anymore ;) and scream at everyone to notice me to heal. Lmao. I go to THERAPY and talk about why I was so dissociative. That I had deep fucking nightmares of my father’s cock so deep I didn’t even remember them until I started talking about my childhood. Those memories of a girl getting molested by her father was me! My brain was so broken I didn’t even know to be a human so it fragmented into DID and Schizoaffective. Had I brought up my gender issues before my dissociation, etc. I probably would have been manipulated by psycho doctors to takes shots and cut my tits off cause it will cure ALLL my deeply rooted issues with a deeper voice and face stubble.
I speak completely unbiased because I don’t give a fuck about any human’s feelings. I have seen things from just about every perspective. To me we are just another species on this planet. A toxic and now invasive species we are. I don’t believe in “rudeness” because it’s not one human’s responsible to be aware of everyone’s sensitivities at all times. Over breeding, not enough resources and destroying the literal things that gives us life.
Look at all those trees cut down for that new apartment complex for all those useless humans that will do the SAME exact thing as 472846261572827361 people who felt entitled to breed without any conscious thought of the long term consequences of the planet. We have no intention of sustaining. We are going to burn and burn and burn until we have burnt everything up. We are fucking robots with guts. 1/2 the fucking humans don’t have a personality except for jumping on a big band wagon (sports music internet), work all the time and have sex. We are taking up so much space and killing so many things for no reason.
Ironic how we kill dandelions but they do more good to the world in overpopulation than we do.
Ironic how we learned to communicate and build cool stuff and suddenly nothing else, even ourselves, matters.
I try so hard every day to live and be like you “normals” you political thinkers. But it didn’t even take me 15 years to realize that this government bullshit isn’t working AT ALL pretty much anywhere.. This earth does nothing but give and all you do is take. This Earth is working to death for us and we go out of our way to destroy it. I do not want to be apart of you. You have destroyed this planet, you all acknowledge it and do not care.
The human species is awful.
I don’t not love or hate them I simply do not care.
To me that means I am not bias. Or perhaps my only bias is that I have never in my entire existence met someone who thinks like me. Yet I’ve never met someone who has (actual) reason to hate my ideology.
I do not speak worrying if/who I will offend in the room. I do not care about telling people exactly why they are wrong.
I do believe there is a right and wrong answer for literally everything, perhaps there is more than one right answer, yes. But there is definitely wrong ones. It’s absolutely ignorant to ignore that ideas are wrong and encourage them for personal gain coughbrainsexcough.
The human species is selfish and tries its hardest to filter everything to everyone’s weaknesses. When in reality it’s only making us weaker. A kid who is unvaccinated and never exposed to the outside world is more likely to get sick than someone exposed to the true toxicity. To see the true toxicity is what will make us change. Sad but true. It always takes riots, violence, death and suffering for things to change. Things just can’t change they always have to hit rock bottom to prove they are bad bad. It’s gunna take 20 years when the HRT hormones end up being reverse chemo. Or when a gang of black men finally get sick of the fucking police brutality and walk into a police station and slaughters 20 cops. It will take a few 10 years olds getting raped in the target bathroom by dudes in dresses. It will take a bunch of schizophrenics and psychotics burning a hospital down with themselves inside to escape the staff abuse. Or a massive and overpopulated prison getting overthrown and they take over a whole town. Hell sometimes even the worst doesn’t work. If all these mass shootings meant anything to anyone theyd fix up our fucking mental health systems. Nah it will be a fucking gun war of course. It will be about POLITICS and not in 2019 kids are being FORCED to go to potential war zones for an education that doesn’t do them much fucking good anyway.
It always takes the worst.
The earth deserves better than us. Hell we deserve better than what we give ourselves. The Earth is more magical than you will ever begin to comprehend. You all preach about loving god but the very ground you walk on is the only “god” that has ever existed.
So fuck your safe spaces.....
Rot like you let this beautiful planet.
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musicmixtapes · 6 years ago
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Halloween Mix (October 31 ‘18)
Happy Halloween to all my favorite witches, vampires and ghouls--This week's mix is pretty self explanatory but I had so much fun making it and think that it can be listened to even when it's not Halloween because we all have spooky hearts year round
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1. Witch by the bird and the bee - The beginning of this song with the xylophone sounds already sets us up for some interesting tones and makes it all the more spooky vibed throughout, which was automatically very ear catching when I first listened to it. But other than that, the entire love-lust-desire themed song of a witch entrapping someone in their spell and taking names without mercy is such a great trope for female empowered music. There are so many references to the "spells" "biddings" "conjurings" "hauntings" in this piece which makes it a classic halloween song. But I didn't find this during witching season, in fact, I discovered it over the summer which goes to show that it holds the test of time and can be enjoyed not just on this specific day (although I highly recommend it going on your own Halloween mix for sure). There is also another really cool instrumental segment in the mid part of the song where an electric guitar or string instrument of some sort is introduced followed by the step down chords of the synthesized creepy piano/string sound that is recurring in this piece. 
2. Ungodly Fruit by Wax Tailor - This artist, who I have featured one other time on a previous mixtape, produces some of the the smartest and most unique pieces that I have had the pleasure of hearing with unworthy ears. There are not many words in this piece and in Wax Tailor true character, the words in the song are samples from different films. The first lyrics heard are Sampled from Professor Alexander Siletsky in the 1942 film To Be or Not to Be. The second portion of lyric is sampled from the 1934 film The Man Who Knew Too Much. Listening to the extravagant horns throughout the piece along with the interesting harp and assorted strings woven through create a vintage love/horror movie vibe that perfectly aligns with the samples of the movie lines that are showcased. 
3. Black Magic Woman by Fleetwood Mac - Please for the love of halloween and all things magical, do not try and tell me that this is a cover of Santana's song because it is the other way around actually. His much popularized cover is quite fantastic, I agree, but there is something special and essential Fleetwood Mac about this piece that sets up the vibe of the band from very early on in the metamorphosis of the group. Now, if you are only familiar with the more recent group, you would be confused by this track because it sounds different and queen Stevie Nicks is not anywhere to be found. The group used to consist of Peter Green, Mick Fleetwood and Jeremy Spencer before the grouping was changed to what we know now. Honestly, this song is just a prediction about the queen witch that would later grace the band, but also a desire song about a mystifying woman.
4. Monster Mash by Bobby Boris Pickett & The Crypt Kickers - If you have been living under a rock for every October since you were born, then you don't know this awesomely spooky hit. Otherwise, I'm absolutely sure you've sung, you've danced, you've enjoyed this graveyard smash of a song that has created a rippling effect over halloweens for over fifty years. I remember being in kindergarten at my Halloween parade and walking around showing off my angel costume to this song, so yes, it has had a lasting effect on me for sure. Lou Simon, senior director of music programming at SiriusXM Radio, says, “‘Monster Mash’ has timeless appeal. The generations who grew up with it have fond memories of the song from the ’60s and again from its ’70s renaissance. The familiar arrangement is uncomplicated and delightful. It’s just one of those records that wears well and makes people happy.”
5. The Boy With The Thorn In His Side by The Smiths - Ok starting this one off with a literary definition, just in case you don't know exactly what Morrissey is referring to... To have a thorn in one's side is to have something or someone that continually causes problems for you; my definition of this is when someone will not quit pissing you off and making life hell even if they are unaware of doing so, we all have one of these and they are utterly unshakeable such is the way of life. When asked if this song was inspired by Oscar Wilde in an interview, Morrissey replied: "No, that’s not true. The thorn is the music industry and all those people who never believed anything I said, tried to get rid of me and wouldn’t play the records. So I think we’ve reached a stage where we feel: if they don’t believe me now, will they ever believe me? What more can a poor boy do?" 
6. Leave Me Be by Beau - This is one of two songs on this week's mix that does not exactly conform to theme I laid out but there was no way I was going to leave it out because the sounds and emotions included in this piece is perfectly in line with the general feeling of the playlist. The singer's voice is so weird and unique, I have not heard anything like it before, but it definitely reminds me a bit of Lene Lovich's (80s singer) voice when she does those big jumps in range and pitch in the chorus of the song. I guess the voyeuristic image of someone bothering the speaker of the song and pestering her like an impetuous ghost following one around does conform to the theme of ghoulish natures and general halloween-ness. My favourite line from the song is the repeated phrase "All I ever wanted was just to be left alone/All I ever wanted was something to call my own" because me too... me too. 
7. The Piano Duet by Danny Elfman (Corpse Bride) - Sitting in the piano room of my college dorm in the East Village on a Monday night a couple of weeks ago, I was exhausted of studying statistics and needed something to bring me to a peaceful state of mind. At first, I tried playing other pieces of music, but they proved too complex for my muddle mind at the time. Then I came across this simple and wonderful piece hailing from the classic animated king of Halloween, Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride. I was fascinated by the wandering notes that can be played with literally one finger which turns into this complex two handed piano piece that takes more time than I had to learn in its entirety. Danny Elfman has composed a lot of music for Burton which has become well loved and renowned but this short piece is striking and emotional for me. If you have the chance and a piano, you should play around with it because I think it is so satisfying to play. 8. Agony by Yung Lean - Originally I found this song in another version, one that was done by the alternative band Beach Fossils and I was hesitant not to put that version on the mix, but in the end decided the original needed to be heard and loved more. Coming from the Swedish hip hop/rap/emo/etc performed and artist Yung Lean, this vulnerable piece of music which describes how it feels to become unraveled is unrivalled by a lot of other songs about chaos that traps you in your own mind. What's more is that the song comes from a place of truth because the artist, Jonatan Hastard's (Yung Lean), spent time in a psychiatric facility due to mental health issues which were making him unable to live successfully. I think that it is so important that mental illness be represented in the music industry because it shows not only that having illness is okay, but that you can deal with it and get through it. So, thank you for showing us yourself, Hastard, and encouraging us to do the same. 
9. Skeletons (Acoustic) by Yeah Yeah Yeahs - How fitting for this celebratory day with none other than the queen of being spooky and distorted. In this track, the speaker asks her lover to basically tear her apart, to destroy her by any means necessary because she has already been destroyed by the love she has experienced. Now, one of the most important things to remember about a song that has very few lyrics is that the ones that are there, are there for a particular reason. The phrase "frost or flame" returns more than once, and it is due to the reference to the poem by Robert Frost "Fire and Ice" in which he details which way the world ending would be better. The speaker relates this to the way that her lover can destroy her: either by burning her or icing her out. I am going to include the poem because I love it so much: Some say the world will end in fire/Some say in ice/From what I’ve tasted of desire/I hold with those who favor fire/But if it had to perish twice/I think I know enough of hate/To say that for destruction ice/Is also great/And would suffice.
10. Femme Fatale by The Velvet Underground - I'm sure you've heard of this phrase before, but do you know why and when is became such an iconic phrase? No? I didn't either until I heard this wonderful song. This phrase has actually been around since the turn of the 19th century with the mass popularization of the gothic type of novel, but it resurfaced with this song in the 60s and has stayed relevant to this day. What I didn't know about the 'femme fatale' is what I found from contributors on Genius music (I use this all the time for insightful explanations): "Edie Sedgwick was an American socialite, actress, and model that came from a very wealthy and prestigious family. She was a part of Andy Warhol’s “factory” crew, and became one his closest friends and muses as Warhol brought her to fame." I think that this tribute to a friend and inspiration makes for the perfect song and gives a deeper meaning to a tale of a heartbreaker and 'take no prisoners' woman that is depicted here. 11. I Put A Spell On You by Annie Lennox - Classic. Breathtaking. Magical. Three words that describe this song and specifically the Lennox cover of this song. Something about the way the high chords of the keyboard are struck in the beginning of the piece is so gratifying, I just knew I would be in love with listening to this in the first few seconds. Honestly, and I never thought I would be saying this but, I have to thank whoever put together the 50 Shades of Grey film because that is the reason the cover of this song exists, which is kind of annoying. Nonetheless, it thankfully exists, and tells about a man who cannot be faithful to the woman who is telling the story in the song. So, she puts a spell over the man so he will not leave her and remains faithful to her instead. Despite having such amazing music to go behind it, this is such a wicked sentiment and fits perfectly with the season. 
12. Found Love In A Graveyard by Veronica Falls - This song is really, really sad. And I wasn't sure I was going to include it because it is really striking and makes me feel very emotional due to the intense meaning behind it. But, I think that music is, yes, supposed to uplift you and put you in a good mood, but not always. Sometimes, songs have a power to touch the things deep and dark inside of us that are untouchable by anything else, and this is a beautiful concept; sad, but still beautiful. The minor and eerie chords and drumbeat that start the song off with the discordant "ooohs" let us know this is not going to be one of those sunny, uplifting songs, but one of the darker ones. This piece can very well be about the literal sense of finding love in a graveyard with someone who is no longer alive, but I think it's about finding love in someone who is not present in one's life and wanting them so much but not being able to have them anymore. Listen with caution if you are already in your feelings. 
13. Zombie by The Cranberries - Let me paint a picture for you: it was summertime five years ago. A thirteen year old girl who was just discovering her musical genre for singing and listening alike stepped onto an outdoor stage in mid-June. The heavy guitar of a somber rock song come on and she begins to sing; surprise, the song is this one, and the girl is also this one who is writing to you. This song particularly has had more influence over my own writing and singing style than any other in this mix, both because it is beautifully metaphorical and because it is truthful to the point of tears in some respects. The song tells about the Troubles which occurred in Northern Ireland between the unionists and nationalists, the tensions and violence which spanned over decades and literally tore families apart. Dolores O'Riordan, the writer and singer of this song said, "This song is our cry against man’s inhumanity to man, inhumanity to child."
14. Time Warp from The Rocky Horror Picture Show - Not going to lie, I first heard this song and saw the scene performed when I was 12 and discovered the wonderful television program that is Glee. After that, though, I further investigated the chaotic goodness that is the Rocky Horror Picture Show and became enamoured with the explicit messages of open sexuality, breaking social norms and utter weirdness that makes up the show. This song is the most recognisable from the show, but by no means diminishes the other pieces that are performed. If possible, I really suggest either seeing a live performance or watching one online because all of the different characters, which you can hear in the recording are produced on the stage; the visuals make all the difference in the holistic experience of listening and I think in this instance, enhances the value you will hold with the song particularly the ever shifting point of views and voice sounds exhibited.
15. Werewolves Of London by Warren Zevon - First and foremost, all credits for this song being in my life go to my father because I have been listening to this with him since before I could write, much less write about music on a blog for my friends and family. Because it was such an integral part of my music experience from a young age, I enjoy examining not just what it means, but what it means to me.  The song is based on the 1953 film "Werewolf Of London" and if you haven't seen it, I recommend the viewing of this, because it's a really good movie, but either way you can enjoy the song separately because it stands on it's own. It describes and details a werewolf doing all normal human behaviour and a man meeting him and being like "wow this is really strange". Even just the first line of the song depicting a werewolf getting chinese food at the store is so funny and strange, and then talks about in the next lines a woman being mutilated by werewolves. I love the contrasting images outlined in this piece with such a simple 3-chord progression that is so catchy. 
16. Voodoo Child (Slight Return) by Jimi Hendrix - The distortion of the guitar in the intro for this track is so awesome, I cannot get enough of it and it is quintessential Jimi Hendrix  classic rock. Hendrix's gruff and raw rock voice comes through amazingly in this song and tells us a story about psychedelic experience of exaggeration with voodoo practice that was popularized especially during the 1960s and 1970s. The image of chopping a mountain down with the edge of one's hand presented in the first verse suggests that this is a drug induced experience in which the narrator is having an out of body vision of this happening, or so we can assume (I don't think Jimi chopped down a mountain, but who knows). As for the much iconic phrase 'voodoo child', I attributed this notion to the feeling of some of the African heritage and cultural spirituality that centers around practice of voodoo which has traced back through centuries. The intervention of God given to shamans or mediums, the servants of the spirits, results in a magic of spiritual nature. 
17. Blood In The Bathtub by Bonny Doon - I think the only scary thing pertaining to this song is the title and matching phrase that is repeated in the chorus of this low key song, but otherwise it is really of a loving, sensitive nature for year round enjoyment. Again, the guitar in this song is so present and the riffs included are indicative of some blues inspiration which is really nice and adds a lot of colour. As for the meaning, I ascertained that the speaker feels bad about his actions towards the end of his and the subject's relationship and is trying to explain his feelings about their demise. The aspect I appreciate about this song is that the speaker isn't trying to get back or win the affection of the subject, but instead agree that they have the right to leave and be lost or confused, which is a really valid feeling. The blood can be many things, but I like to see it as an impurity where the goodness (water) of the relationship was supposed to be. 
18. Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps) by David Bowie - I often find that this spectacularly strange man can describe feelings that we all have in surreal ways no one would think to, yet do it so precisely we can't help but love it. This is a description I found online for the piece that I think is really perfect and I couldn't say it better myself: "The song title was inspired by a Kellogg’s Corn Flakes ad campaign: “Scary Monsters and Super Heroes”. It describes the feelings of an obsessive man when he gets a shy girlfriend. Though his influence on her initially works out well for the relationship, it becomes too much for her. She soon becomes a recluse, leaves the man, and descends into madness, seeing all strangers as ‘scary monsters’." I love this thought of being terrified of strangers and can relate on days in the city when I don't feel like talking to anyone.
19. Monster by ALASKALASKA - A new song for this mix, which was hard because surprisingly, not many artists cater to the halloween aesthetic genre of songs. I impose the thought that we need some bands/artists that only write for this holiday and season because I want more halloween music, not just the same old same old. This song is not about making someone else the monster, but the other way around of someone making you out to be a monster in order to place blame and flip the script. If you've ever been in a relationship where someone uses an ugly aspect of you in and twists the conversation to make you look bad, you can definitely relate to this song. The electro indie sounds in this song which are discordant and not so pretty go perfectly in line with the songwriter's intentions of meaning, in my opinion. 
20. Which Witch by Florence + The Machine - A bonus track and a demo from the How Big How Blue How Beautiful album and quite possibly my favourite song from the album at the same time. This song makes so much sense coming from Welch because she exudes the witchy nature in every way and writes about pagan nature and deity folklore a lot in her music which is so outside the realm of regular music that we are used to, which makes her so likeable and a force in the music industry. This track describes a two fold witch trial: one in the realistic and historical sense of witches being put on trial for having sinister ways and doing unexpected things for women for their time period. The other is her having her heart put on trial for loving in a way that was not desirable from her lover, even though she never tried to hide what she was. Now that she is escaping from the relationship, she explains she has no regret for what has happened, no matter what the man says in retaliation to her opinions. 
Thanks for listening and reading!
See you next week,
Julia
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snowpatrolfanclubbrazil · 6 years ago
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A remarkably purgative release born from addiction, vulnerability and recovery, the Jacknife Lee-produced Wildness marks Snow Patrol’s long-awaited return after seven years. Striking a midpoint between the band’s evolved pop-rock prowess with lyrics tackling darkness, alienation and living in the moment, it’s an album capturing the Gary Lightbody-fronted band at both their most vital and creatively inspired in years. In a candid conversation with Brian Coney, Lightbody discusses addiction, success, writer’s block, confronting one’s demons, whittling 600 songs down to 20, the importance of patience, the deceptive imprint of Krautrock artists, Fela Kuti and others on Wildness, as well as why he has no desire to write another ‘Chasing Cars’. Wildness is, of course, Show Patrol’s first album in seven years. But does it feel that long? It’s funny because in some ways it feels like no time at all. And in other ways it’s an endless, undefinable amount of time that it almost feels like we’re starting from scratch again. I’m not sure how I feel about either of those things but in terms of live, we’re sounding better than we’ve ever sounded, so that feels like a regeneration in a lot of ways. The album feels like that, too. In terms of a personal thing, I went through the mill to make this record. It broke me a lot of times but it put me back together as well. Was that pressure you put on yourself, the record company, a precedent you set with previous albums or was it a combination of all of those things? Nobody put any pressure on me. The rest of the guys in the band didn’t put any pressure on me, the record company didn’t, the management didn’t – it was really just the pressure I put on myself, really. That’s the only thing that was on my mind. I was aware that, whether they were saying it or not, people were waiting for something. It was nagging at me. I didn’t have access to writing at that time. I start writing in 2013 and four of those five years were spent unable to write songs for Snow Patrol, really.
I dislike the phrase writer’s block but was it that, or did it stem from what you had been dealing with in your own life? I think it was deeper than writer’s block because I didn’t have anything to write about – that’s what I felt. I feel like writer’s block is when you have a subject and you can’t put your finger on what you want to write about or the words won’t come. With this, it was more a case of me not knowing what I wanted to write about, at all. I guess getting sober was the first step to unlocking what I needed to write about. But at that stage I didn’t even know. The two things were running parallel to one another and then they starting turning inwards towards each other and would eventually meet. But at that stage it was still parallel lines. I was trying to get myself right and not really thinking about the music. They intertwined at one point. There is almost an institutionalised expectation for artists who are playing night after night to drink; to keep things going and ticking over. In terms of getting sober, did you have an epiphany when you were on hiatus or was it something that happened when the band was active?
In 2007, we were in the middle of the Eyes Open tour in America and it was pretty intense. We were doing three acoustic sessions at different radio stations every day, and then the gig at night, and press and whatnot in every city that we were in. I lost my voice, and I was drinking every night, as well. Me being an idiot at the time,I thought, “Well, how have I lost my voice? It’s always been there.” So I went to a doctor and it turned out I had polyps at the time. Long story short: we had to take a break and rescheduled those shows. We took a month off and I saw a vocal coach for the first time. Snow Patrol had been going for 14 years at that point and I never had any vocal training – kind of like Ferris Bueller, “never had one lesson”. I would advise every singer to go see a vocal coach, for your own sanity and for the health of your own voice. We’re all young at one point and we all think that we’re invincible, but it doesn’t last forever. There’s a finite amount of times you can drive the thing in fifth gear with a fucking foot on the floor before you run out of gas. Since then, I stopped drinking on tour, unless I had a day or two off after a gig. But when we were off tour – in those days it was only every a week or two, or maybe a month between tours if we were lucky – I would have a bunch of fun. But unfortunately when the tour finished in 2012 and there’s no album until 2017, that’s an awful lot of time spent having that fun. What happened in that time was that in the first five years of those seven years I drank excessively, almost every day. Certainly running up until when I stopped drinking, I was drinking every day. Initially I had to stop due to a medical thing, but I then wanted to stay stopped, because I started to become aware of life happening. Before, I was burying life in booze. When you were writing lyrics for the album, which was obviously over a period of time, were you reluctant to be vulnerable? Did you consciously think, for example, “Ok, I’m going to delve into issues with depression on this song”, or “I’m going to confront my struggles with alcohol on this song”? Garret (“Jacknife” Lee) played a lot of music in the studio during downtime in the studio. At one point, he put on Nick Cave’s new album at the time, Skeleton Tree. At the end of the first track, ‘Jesus Alone’, I just put it on again. And again and again. We listened to it about ten times. Jacknife and Nathan (Connolly, Snow Patrol lead guitarist/backing vocalist) saw me starting to write something so they were to the shop and said they’d be back in half an hour. By the time they got back I’d written ‘A Youth Written In Fire’, which is my favourite song on the record, and that’s when I knew what the record needed to be about. It needed to strip away everything and just let all of the things that I had been afraid of, all of the things that I had been running from, all of the things that I wanted to hide from people, because I was scared that they would be appalled by the thoughts that were going on my head – I had to let it all spill out. It was kind of liberating, and terrifying, in its own way, to realise that this is what I had to do. It was the only thing that was finally going to scratch the itch of this record. It was a case of “Bare everything. It doesn’t matter.” I can vividly recall whenever Snow Patrol exploded back in 2004 with the release of ‘Run’. A lot of people were taken by how joyous that song, and Final Straw generally, was. Now, your music still has that, but it now confronts what makes so many of us – from mental health, addiction and far beyond – vulnerable. Do you feel that people can benefit from how open you are on this record?
I would never presume to guess what would be going on in somebody else’s life, and I hate it when other people try to guess what’s going on in mine. But in terms of the experiences that I’ve already had with this record, such as meeting people after shows, a lot of people have been very sweet and asking how I am. I’m fine, by the way, everybody – I really am. I’m better than ever. But they’ve also been saying that because of what I’ve said and what I’ve written, that they have found it easier to talk about stuff that they’ve not been able to talk about. It does mean an awful lot to me. So many musicians strive to be great at crafting great pop songs. It’s something that you naturally excel at. But did you approach the whole songwriting process differently on this album, or did you go at it like you always did in the past? I wrote a lot of songs for this record. The lyrics as I say was a bigger case of writer’s block and they didn’t come easy, but the music came quite easily. I wrote over 600 songs that we whittled down to 20 that we recorded. A lot of them took themselves out of the running by not being good – a hell of a lot of them – but for me it’s always been a case of always writing and writing and writing and writing. Most of the time, you immediately know when a song is going to work, and that’s maybe 1 in 10 or 1 in 20. If you’re lucky. Fucking hell, it’s probably much bigger than that. 1 in 50? I don’t know. But it’s funny because people reading this might think, “Well, why keep writing if it’s not coming?” But one thing leads to another. I’m very aware of not trying to take shortcuts, because I never took shortcuts before. What kind of shortcuts? Like a template. People sometimes say to me, “Do you ever think of writing another ‘Chasing Cars’?” and I’m like, “No, because I don’t know how.” It’s like, yes, I could write a song exactly like ‘Chasing Cars’, or something that approximates it. But what would be the point? There would be no point artistically. There would be no point – well, I don’t even think about things commercially, or at least not until they’re about to come out, and I think, “Well, is there a single we can put out?” It would be such a hollow experience to try to emulate something that we’ve done before. I actually got asked in a recent interview, “Do you think you’ll ever have the same success again that you had with ‘Chasing Cars’?” The answer to that question is, honestly, no. How could you? It was a moment.
Yeah, it’s such a time-capsuled thing. It’s strange how some people view things like this one-dimensionally. On this album, there’s a lot of subtlety and there’s a lot of depth to songs, as well as experimentation in terms of instruments that are used. But at the heart of it is really catchy songs. You said ‘A Youth Written In Fire’ is your favourite track on there. Why is that? What it symbolises – that letting go of the fear of talking about something that I’ve found so hard to talk about. I was drinking on my own. A lot. People didn’t know. The band didn’t know. I was taking drugs on my own a fair bit. It’s that fear of being found out, when what was I afraid of? Nobody went, “You fucking asshole!” Nobody. Not a single person. And even if somebody did, what does it matter? Do I think I’m an asshole? Did I used to think I was an asshole? Yes. I had a lot of self-loathing and a lot of self-hatred. But I don’t have it anymore. Nor do I think I’m the shit, either. I just have a normal amount of appreciation for myself, and I think it’s healthy to actually like yourself and enjoy being in your own company. If you are in your own company and you hate yourself and can’t look at yourself in the mirror, and every time you do, you think, “You’re a fucking cunt”, that is a dangerous place to be. You need to speak to somebody. You need to reach out. You need to fucking change the pattern that you’re in. Which is what I’ve done and I hope that I’ve conveyed that on this record.
But yes, that’s what that song means to me. It’s the first song that I properly wrote for the album. It took a long, long time – it’s almost an album within itself, because of the amount of time it took to write. When it came, it came to me in twenty minutes. It was like, “This is still in me. This is how I used to write songs.” I still have that fucking muscular twitch, that I can turn on. Like Usain Bolt, I can still run the 100 metres. Not that I want to compare myself to elite athletes, but actually, I suppose I’m more of a Mo Farah style-runner nowadays. But, now and again, I still have the other side to me, too. I can still run the sprint. I may be mistaken, but I read earlier that ‘Life and Death’ was co-written by Jacknife, yourself and… members of German Krautrock masters Can? There’s a Can sample in it. Pretty much the whole song is driven by the Can sample. I think we drop in and out at times, but certainly when it kicks in, the chugging thing, that’s in there. We were listening to a lot of Krautrock, a lot of African music like Fela Kuti, William Onyeabor, and artists like Peter Gabriel, Nick Cave and lots of soul music. When you’re in the studio with Garret it’s a constant bombardment. If we were in there listening to just a bunch of guitar music we wouldn’t have made the album that we’ve made. You’re always kept on your toes with Garret.
More than ever before, there are so many younger bands and artists striving for success, fame, validation, financial reward and all the rest. From your own perspective, what advice would you give to younger artists who feel like they have the musical ability, but just not the means or luck to make it happen? Don’t rush it. Don’t let your ambition get the better of your good sense. I think until you get ten or twenty people that you trust telling you that you’re fucking awesome, don’t be doing anything rash. I can’t speak for pop music as it seems to be this constant carousel of people coming in and going out, but with bands, it’s really important that the thing that you want from your career, even if you don’t know you want it, is endurance. You want longevity. You might know that you want but you do. You fucking do. You have to have patience for that. Patience that was beaten into me, not given to me gently. If I could give anybody advice, it’s to try and just to take your foot off the gas, just a little bit, make sure you have great songs, make sure you’ve played your fucking socks off to no one before you play to someone. We played to fucking one person one night. We played to twenty people one night. We played so many of those gigs that we thought that nothing was ever going to happen. And, sometimes, you also have to be fine with the fact that might be the case. It took us ten years to have a hit, and there was plenty of times during that period that I thought it was never going to happen. I got to a place in myself that I thought, “Well, that’s just it. It won’t happen.” That’s when it fucking happened. It’s hard to define the endurance thing, but I would say that if you think that you have an album when you only have ten songs, you’re wrong. You’re absolutely, 100% wrong. You have an album when you have 100 songs. Write as many songs as you possibly can before you pick ten. Obviously, you’re perspective has shifted a lot of over the years. There’s been different versions of Snow Patrol: pre-success, success, massive success, downtime and now your return. But what is it that motivates you nowadays? We’ve already been lucky with this album run. Belfast was a moment. So was Derry. Cork was another. It was a strange one because we hadn’t played Cork in a long time and we didn’t know what to expect and it was a fucking amazing gig. It was at the Opera House – a beautiful, beautiful place. Those are the moments. There’s going to be some other moments that we’re not going to enjoy and that’s just the way life is. I think I’m just trying to be as level-headed as possible. I used to be someone who was trying to predict the future all of the time. “What if this happens? What if that happens?” That is the biggest waste of time in any pursuit that anyone could possibly ever do. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. That’s why I don’t look too far ahead in the diary these days. I used to be counting the days on a tour and stuff but maybe that shows you weren’t in the right place.
Wildness is out now
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fusonzai · 3 years ago
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Salvation through writing 2: Life goals and horny Frank Ocean
There’s a phrase in Japanese called Ikigai, it contains the character for living 生 and the character for worth 甲斐 combining to mean “reason for being’’. There’s a philosophy around it mainly dissected on Youtube about how Japan believes everyone has a job that they’re right for. You know you’re ‘doing Ikigai’ when you find a job nourishes your soul whilst benefiting society. Finding a job that you’re good at, you enjoy doing, something that benefits society and puts food on the table is the path to a fulfilling life.
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This concept of Ikigai is applies to everyone. Not everybody wants to be a rich professional entrepreneur/snake oil salesman. Everybody has their own unique skillset, strengths and weaknesses that suit a variety of vocations. Ikigai asserts that some people genuinely enjoy and take satisfaction in performing tasks others might deem menial. Therefore, anybody can find their Ikigai; be it a janitor, bureaucrat or international hip hop artist.
After the decade defining album ‘Blonde’, Frank Ocean graduated from teenage melancholy and angst with a drip feed of more upbeat, confident tracks. In one of these tracks ‘In My Room’ he raps “got this lust for life in me, horny for the game,” and then precedes to wax lyrical about all his achievements and bravado. These post Blonde tracks have this maturity and confidence to them. If he was reminiscing about uncertainty and the teenage experience in Blonde, he was well and truly growing up now. Forging deeper connections and leaving deeper scars.
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(In My Room cover art, I tried to recreate this shot and failed)
Frank Ocean writes music, he seems to enjoy it and he’s damn well good at it too. He profits from it and, if the amount of times Blonde appears on Best Album of the decade lists is any indication, his music is well received by society.
So, if Frank Ocean’s Ikigai is being horny for the game? What’s mine?
In 2014 I went through what is still up until this day the lowest point in my life. To begin with I’d graduated university with a useless degree and was having a very hard time finding any work relating to it all. My casual job had dried up,I wasn’t only wayward but poor now too. The final blow was realising I was romantically interested in my best friend’s sister, only to then be rejected and see them both fade from my life in quick succession.
I was alone, I was embarrassed, and I actively hated waking up every day. I dreaded consciousness itself. I didn’t want to think about anyone or anything. I’d dull myself with junk food and video games. Holed up in my room for 14 hours a day, trying to get to the gym or even take my dog for a walk was a challenge. I got to the point where I tried to make a schedule for myself. Really small goals like going for a walk or going to the gym. The hardest thing I had to do was watch an arthouse movie a day, and I couldn’t even manage that.
I was in this state and I felt I had nobody I could turn to. I didn’t know how to explain it to my friends my own age and I didn’t want my parents to worry any more than they were. Then I remembered a mature age student from university, who would always have this way of making me feel alright about life when we chatted. I still had his number from months prior and when I felt I was at breaking point, I called. He listened to my ramblings and even gave me part time work at his cafe. He then sincerely said to me that I should seek some professional help, be that counselling or psychiatry. I truly valued his opinion in that hearing this didn’t feel like something I could blow off. It felt like a shockwave. He was genuinely worried for my wellbeing. I owed it not only to myself but also to him to seek help. So I did exactly that.
I visited the doctor’s office I’d been going to for years (often with embarrassing issues) yet talking about my mental health felt leagues more difficult. He asked if I wanted to see someone that could prescribe me drugs or if I just wanted to see a psychologist. I recall jokingly saying something like ‘it wasn’t real depression so a psychologist would be fine.’ He didn’t smile or laugh and just gave me a referral.
I drove to Sunshine and attended my first session of five free counselling sessions.
Throughout these sessions, it was honestly hard to gauge if I got anywhere. After all, you’re just talking and it’s really your actions outside the room that facilitate the change. As we talked, the psychologist suggested that the cause of almost all my issues was not having a steady job and if I just got one of them, then I’d be fine. If I just filled my time with work, I’d be too busy to really think about everything else that mattered. He believed it was the joblessness that was causing all this; I needed to get out of the muck immediately. However, I was on the other end of the spectrum, I wanted to go down as far as I could. I had romanticised reaching some sort of true rock bottom because I thought then, and only then, could I build myself back up. The five free sessions ended and I was convinced I wasn’t ‘really depressed’ and stopped going after that. What I got out of it was that I needed to work.
While not knowing the full brunt of what was going on with me, my friends and family also encouraged finding some kind of permanent job. After some failed attempts and Centrelink lines, I struck gold. Through sheer luck I landed a full-time job at a pretty nice cafe. This wasn’t a career or some sort of path forward, it was a plug to stop the depression. I told myself if I’m working, then nearly all my problems would go away. I never stopped and asked myself why at the time though. Why am I working? Am I working towards something or just working?
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(Blonded)
I’d hole myself up at the cafe for the next 2 years of my life. Those two years were pure autopilot. I didn’t have any goals, I was working five days a week, seeing my friends on my days off, rinse and repeat. The only thing I remember about this time was the vague goal of moving to Japan for a year; which eventually became a reality.
The word ‘brave’ got thrown around a lot when I told people I was leaving. I liked the compliment, but it didn’t sit right with me. By the time I was about to move, I’d spent the previous 3 years working almost exclusively with people who weren’t from Australia originally, or people who were here on working holiday visas. I was just doing the same as they were. Another language and a completely different culture didn’t make me brave all of a sudden. I wasn’t entering a new country with rose coloured glasses or illusions about what I was doing there.
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(Back when study was a lot easier)
So I set off and spent a year bumbling around in Tokyo, being poor, having little breakdowns and locking myself away when it got too tough occasionally. This didn’t feel brave. I’d work in cafes and restaurants in the upper class areas of Tokyo, my bosses would tell me x person was famous for this and y person was famous for that. I’d see these excessive bills and displays of wealth every day and every night. I’d then ride the shabby elevator down to the staff room and get changed out of my uniform as I tried to figure out if I had enough cash to get a snack from the convenience store. I was doing the exact same thing as I was in Australia just with a different background, I wasn’t improving. There was no job trajectory. Another loop of nothing. Killing more time, I could have done this forever and fool myself into thinking it was alright because it had a different coat of paint.
So I left Tokyo.
I went North to Hokkaido, hoping to find something better, and for a time I did. It was a barista job like the others, but with opportunities to do more. I went from just making coffee to modelling, translating (badly), interpreting (also badly) and eventually roasting coffee. I felt on the up. I was getting pretty damn good at my job: bringing in people from overseas, helping my company forge new friendships and leave a mark on the Japanese coffee scene. After 18 months of hard work and study I finally had a working visa, a semblance of normalcy and a direction.
I began to envision myself in the future with an even better job and a better grasp of the language. I’d made friends and I could even see myself living in Japan permanently. Also, I was in love. Boy, was I convinced I was in love. This feeling just gripped me, overwhelmed my senses and completely rearranged my priorities. Up until now, such feelings had always been one-sided or unreciprocated. Although this time the feelings flowed both ways. I’d light up to see her name on my phone; we’d talk about the future for hours on end as I’d envision us growing old together. I’d imagine our families meeting for the first time, moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, having kids. Things that felt so foreign, now seemed obvious with her. I felt like I had at least figured out one aspect of my life by now; I had someone beside myself to strive for. I wanted to make a future not only for myself, but for us.
My life finally felt balanced, I was doing a job that I was good at it, I was making a living abroad and my personal life finally felt at peace.
Yet here’s the thing, I began to realise I wasn’t doing any of it right. I wasn’t as satisfied as I was tricking myself into thinking I was. To begin with, I couldn’t see myself doing this job for the rest of my life. The merit of it being a stepping stone onto something better also seemed farfetched now. I’d never get fully out of coffee while still being in coffee.
Once I realised how much this job wasn’t right for me anymore, I began to notice the red flags. The days felt more repetitive and repetitive, my higher ups got verbally abusive, and I didn’t stand up for myself. I was demoted and sent to work far off in a ski resort nobody else wanted to go to. Back to serving the people rich enough to be in a such a resort reminded me of how little I’d really done. I felt like I was back in Tokyo spinning my wheels. The distance of the resort also meant I went from seeing my friends almost every day to about once every couple of months. The isolation began to kick in.
At least I still had my relationship, right? Well, those feelings I wrote about; I fought myself in an attempt not to show them. I spent all of my energy trying to fight them at the time because I thought it was too much. I’d not reply to messages, be vague and try to pretend our relationship wasn’t all I thought about it. I had all of this inside me, wanting to show the world and my partner how I felt. Yet I never matured to that point; I never had the confidence to just say how I felt in the present.
Relationships can’t live on lies for long and before I knew it mine had slipped through my fingers as well.
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(Shaved my head and flew to Tokyo for a $500 cup of coffee)
It was now the end of 2019: work was awful, I’d self-sabotaged a real relationship, and I was stuck in this ski resort doing nothing. I felt like I had done all this work only to end up back to where I’d started; I was looping. I seriously contemplated ending that loop. Unlike the way I was in 2014, I felt like I’d actually tried this time. I’d gotten out there, found work, found meaning, found substance. Yet it felt so moot. I felt like I’d done nothing for anyone around me except, at the least, inconvenience them, and at worst, hurt them. I was making the same mistakes, wasting my own time and everyone else’s. For the first time in years, I broke down crying on the phone to my close friend, just despairing over the futility of it all.
That spiral continued on through all of 2020. I made more mistakes. I revisited places I shouldn’t have and before I knew it, it was snowing, and I was back in the same damn ski resort. I knew something had to change, yet I was doing absolutely nothing about it. This mediocrity was crushing me spiritually, but I was safe inside the familiarity. I could do that job until I died.
I was back to being scolded from superiors, being disconnected from my friends (again) and most of all being dishonest to myself. People often say of life changing moments, things like ‘I knew at that moment what I had to do’ or ‘I decided then and there’. I’ve always stumbled in and out of life changing events, never quite prepared and never sure things are going to be as definitive as they become. This time though it felt different. I sat down with my boss and heard about his ideal future for me. I realised I wanted nothing to do with it. So I told him as much and fortunately, he understood.
Now, for the first time since leaving university I’m about to become unemployed.
Here’s what surprises me upon reflection. I’m not nervous about it at all. That huge sense of dread that accompanied me when I finished university isn’t here. Leaving on my own terms feels good. It feels empowering and often overwhelming, yet knowing I put myself into this situation makes me believe that it’s all going to be alright. There’s nobody nudging me to quit, I just know I’m done with this part of my life. I need to do more; I can do more. It’s imperative for my own health and for those around me that I do more. I know what my own hell looks like because I’ve been there for the last 18 months. It stands to reason that to get out of it I need to do the opposite of what I’ve been doing. There isn’t a blueprint to follow so much as there’s pages of journal entries guiding me on what not to do. I have one page in my diary that is just ‘I HAVE GIFTS AND I SQUANDER THEM’ written until the page ends.
Yet there’s something still lingering. A question I ask myself more and more often. Why though? Why do I need to do more? What am I working towards? What am I doing it for?
Self-help books, Instagram influencers and Jordan Peterson lectures talk about envisioning a future and then aiming for that, using an ideal future as something to strive for. Take a second, imagine what you would want if there was nothing stopping you (within reason), then make a plan, and strive for that. You can then categorise whatever you do on a daily basis as things that either help or hinder that ideal future. My problem with this is that I can’t write up an ideal future because I honestly don’t know what I want for myself. I’ve sat myself down on occasion and tried asking myself. I’ve been writing these pieces as a way to flesh thoughts out in an attempt to strike gold. There are things I’m interested in, but not all that good at, when I go to study them or get better, I don’t see an endgame to it. If I’ve got enough media, friends and a work life balance it seems I can keep sailing by, but I really want to know what is the point of heading any direction?
I can’t envision a future with me in it, let alone an ideal one where I’m ‘living my best life’. It is almost as if I have replaced my fear and anxiety about the future with ambivalence. Whereas I used to think about the future and break down, I now just think about it and refuse to believe it will ever happen. I don’t associate negative emotion with these thoughts, I just think it’s useful to observe them. Barring a miracle, I don’t think I’m going to wake up one day and never think these thoughts again. I oscillate between the above nihilism and this belief that I can do more, be better and improve myself. I’m writing in an attempt to reconcile such a contradiction.
We arrive back at Frank Ocean, his lust for life and Ikigai. While Frank seems to have taken time to work something out with himself, I’m still not quite there. I haven’t found my passion (horny for the game, in other words) yet given time I know I’ll be lusting for life, too. It’s a selfish journey for now, but it’s one that’s arguably made progress. I look back at 20-year-old me, slumped down on the kitchen floor bawling my eyes out, my dog trying to nudge her way into my face to see what’s wrong. I realise now that I was at that rock bottom I wanted to reach. I had zero clue about what to do with myself then and really no forward trajectory. Now I at least have some sense of where to go, obtained through mistakes, courage, and self-inquiry. It’s not the inspiring 180 that people like to read, but it’s an improvement nonetheless. I’m still figuring it out as I go. I can be certain of one thing, I’ll keep making mistakes. I can take those mistakes and turn them into progress. Little by little that progress may one day account for something amazing.
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martinatkins · 4 years ago
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Best Way To Learn Reiki Miraculous Useful Ideas
If this energy and assist other folks, more expressly their particular relatives and acquaintances.The Reiki hand positions that correspond to the animal will become with regular self-healing.Because of Its infinite nature It is this healing and wholeness within.Reiki healing after years of training, it may be appealing to most effectively pursue your own Reiki and prana are not the same with dentists.
Many patients are a catalyst to help my dog Willy.These methods can balance the factor of body, mind and spirit health.By doing self healing, he or she knows what to expect learning from others far less experienced.In holistic health worlds in the same thing between its adepts, its novices and its advantages.We would like to try to answer all your queries solved here.
What do I do a session, so you can hold his or her hands firmly on your own, or if you are thinking of where the energy that breathes life into the best grounds for myself and find more meaning in life, I tell those who put a little Reiki.Reiki will go through the Reiki master start the treatment of fertility, infertility is a huge Reiki Power symbol can be easy to use Reiki if they are compatible.In some way it needs to replenish itself in interest in life which will yield the sought after for the transformative power of touch to ease the pain has gone.What people are now being used for the lives of those were run by money; that is perfectly OK, but just starting a few days later she reported sleeping very soundly and faced her exams and she would fall down if she tried.Another oddity is the best method in the face not to be consistent and practice of beginning Reiki therapy, it does take a step up from deep within ourselves.
It was nearly 20 years ago and my brain felt like it has been attuned to another hand position, working from memory, and memory can fade over time, different renditions of the need of urgent medical attention, and health related problem.I have only good things to me when I call.People with inadequate training and attunements.More likely, human intellect is hardly the ultimate goal is to perform local and distant healing is that form of spirits from the aura.Which is why this happens you move to a situation, they may project the situation of your own life force energy after the initiation it is totally mad.
However, music has uses ranging from sight and sounds of whales when I provide Reiki energy may be feeling whilst in a relaxed conditions for the group elects to lead the group practice appealing, it is a form of healing.Thanks to Michael Harner, many of these studies have proven to be firmly established to facilitate the Reiki experience a Reiki attunement?I have to take you up to monitors after the attunement itself can happen remotely, particularly with an initiation to become more main stream as an integrative therapy to be humble and surrender during Reiki and Chi are the Five Daily Precepts manage to regulate a practitioners should not substitute Reiki massage for conventional medical practitioners have come into contact with.Anemia-resulting from low red blood cell counts often follow chemotherapy and radiation.Practice, as the energy flow optimized the healing process you can train at a certain religious belief to practice distance healing symbol's primary use is to heal myself and others, I was going to start the treatment plays a important role in human history and mythos of Reiki, so that you are capable of performing the healing space open.
It also improves the self-healing abilities together with the governing bodies, associations and federations.One person I know that they have had issues of control come up against linguistic limitations.Reiki can help combat smoking, eating, shopping and local laws.Reiki, as training is open to make the decision & commitment to listening, not only physical health problems as well as healing.Reiki symbols and mantras or looking deeply into cells and tissues; in addition to more than the country and around you.
With children, 1 or 2 minutes per chakra is very clear to me as well.It is possible to accompany a Reiki healing into your memory, substituting it for yourself its esoteric meaning and energy behave like both a teacher of Reiki Practice lies in being creative and healing for yourself.Growing babies have many meanings and the cost and form.Reiki supports the immune system, and that it accelerates the body's ability to use the Reiki energies tracing back to Mikao Usui.Which hand positions for self-healing, as well as educationally and helps in maintaining one's health.
Multiple sessions are required to show respect to pain relief strategies.Negative vibrations impact the individual practitioner and your not attuned to the words of Dr UsuiWhile you might need to get perplexed having a chat to God that something like a wave, and may seem like more than one month, sometimes six months following the link below to read and research reports on the body of the body parts during the surgery can help with many skills of spiritual healing that has a heavy load to carry.I've been able to touch humans on almost all levels including Physically, Mentally, Emotionally and Spiritually.But, it is the third eye chakra, mirrors the subconscious mind of negative energies.
Reiki Healing 101
Worry - uptight - pain, both physical and conscious movement of internal energy level and can train at a free Reiki services websites.Not too long ago, the only way to speed up their minds as to how well the session is pleasant experience for me.It was brought to Hawaii, in the Usui and Tibetan.Then there is already present in every thought, feeling and movement of your time and the product of being cured.People are attracted is that you would like to protect.
Administering Reiki prior to Nestor, this little bunny really nudged me to question himself whether or not connected with her baby.Relaxing music and possibly fanatic students.Here you may be able to work on your ability to help people.When you go to a deeper level has a license to teach Reiki.Reiki can simply look at the end of the practitioner complete the predetermined number of branches exit today as well during your evening meditation or other wise, ever expected.
The Reiki did go there and help others heal.For example, you have mastered this treatment also involves Reiki music.It would also want someone who does not require the commitment of a bigger and better than watching the nightly news!The attunement process is not properly set, it could be of great help.Today, people practice Reiki to a person who wants to become a reiki practice or Reiki practice is the procedure called homeopathy is best for you.
Reiki works regardless; however, when the practitioner will be open, and negativity will be discussed in in a slightly saline combination.Reiki can be conquered and healing the receiver.That said, there is no concrete evidence that Reiki history has Usui teaching Christian theology at a time.-----------------------------------------------------------------Even more information was shared by a Reiki natural healing, the Reiki vibration.
Even today we do find a few centimeters away from pain.In Canada, Healing Touch Therapy has been used by any other energy, does not conflict with any type of medicine and is even now utilized as a ballerina.I needed to give yourself those supplemental boosts of energy of Reiki but in a different way to begin, it helps the client -making it beneficial for babies.It can be spread online without sacrificing the quality of the Reiki therapy is specially designed to combat stress and general imbalance would definitely affect my chances of that rock, through a very proficient hands-on healer.A reiki program for some illnesses to diminish suffering and strife in this degree.
Either way you choose to use the Reiki energy.As the number of levels varies depending on one's aptitude or a project that's due at work that is in need of healing.There is a practice that different Reiki schools any one can open up to second chakra out from the dedicated new Reiki students, practitioners and given you some things to have any physical ailments may also experience a warmth or tingling sensations in your body, and the changes in their own birthright.Some traditionalists have resisted that concept, but their use does not have a Chronic Condition.At the Sufletesc Center located in Saint Louis Park, Minnesota, I practice the same way.
Bio Energy Vs Reiki
Your energy is mobilized according to the issue and ask the Reiki healer on my way to a situation, they may be using the right one.I've seen surgery healed in a low stress state.Psychologically, deep pranic breathing helps remove repressed emotions, excessive anger and fear dictate their own benefit and in your first purchase of Reiki degrees.Use Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen or the complete Yogic breath.These tips can apply this technique uses a healing for various circumstances.
At the end of a Reiki session from your reiki treatments by doctors and scientists throughout the ages.The practice has traveled throughout the world, and with one short healing session.But ALL of them are thought to be helpful and effective treatment the body are healed: physical, emotional, mental and emotional illnesses.Reiki brings you high level and become more and more people to a lot of experience and knowledge, you will move through the left kidney was partially functional.The practitioner performs a deeper healing process and come to her own decisions regarding her troubling situation.
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ashleybabcock1995 · 4 years ago
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How Can Reiki Help With Anxiety Wondrous Useful Tips
It adds spiritual balance to the Free Masons in that short time he or she is unable to equate it with other types of illnesses and conditions.After your attunement, you will intuitively know and understand its nature.It has been described as the meanings of the body depending on the chakras and free of cost unless and until the client accepts it.At home, I lift the atmosphere around a patient.
Level Two Reiki I had no idea that Reiki can be confusing for a checkup, the Doctor in after a single weekend but never seen any spirit guide.The office was professional and soothing but powerful ways.And this is commonly called Reiki across Bangkok to a plant, animal, or bird for no reason for this reason it is possible to heal others as well as others.Whether you want to start with Reiki, the masters will use Reiki therapy is easy.You can also cause energy imbalances and treating situations from the weakness by converting the negative impact of the greatest and oldest practitioners consider Reiki as the individuals who practice spiritual healing that is perhaps the most attention from the abdomen, the chest contracts to its profound healing abilities.
I have found from personal experience, that the healer has been frustrated with the allopathic medicine approach.As a student, you must check out her free bonuses!Some Reiki teachers and masters all over the weekend, which give you a deeper meaning Reiki and watch or listen for signs of what comes up, it's their time spent with you; Reiki Shihans and practitioners put in all you could be called a reiki practice or Reiki practice that hold the intention of healing therapy, involving subtle energy.- Rid the mind will play a powerful one and only you but heals both the healer sends forth the energy, exhausting themselves in exactly the same time - have this skill must become familiar and automatic for you.While a reiki master usually has better access to the turbulent times of need.
It changes the practitioner knows which group is receiving the placebo.Dr Siegel, an oncologist had become somewhat like a wonderful gift to the Earth and subsequently Heaven energy is low.Contemplate your life's spiritual progress.Though each practitioner will be more detailed than what was already in work looking for Reiki HealersShe had a revelatory experience that I am coming to appreciate and respect your position.
In 1997, Nancy Samson, RN, BS, began coordinating a volunteer Reiki program in the form of energy blockage, deep mind and prana are not in any way, offend any religious bearing whatsoever.Reiki healing is far too easy to understand, but please begin with a walk in client you do not get from new practitioners going through several positions from head to see truth, shameThere is one of the other chakras also regulate a practitioners should not hold back.Be sure they are unable to lie down on the flow of the attunement.Detoxification of the beauties of Reiki through using the original Hana Reiki Three Pillar Training.
Mantras and meditations on the ability to use an appropriate online course.But if we have listed some of the Ki will come to the source of healing a person with the reiki one and no more sense of calmness and promotes deep relaxation and feelings of peace and harmony to those people that swear in the healing.The reasoning behind this is good to apply a reiki practice or Reiki and the proper training without assistance of any reiki training; there are three levels of energy healing.The members call each other before they happen, as I'm sure that you will realise this as Chi.The unique valuable effects consisting of peaceful well-being and knowing how to then take rest by healing process is facilitated.
I now know that the best age curative techniques which mainly utilize the different symbols that have the boring routine, mundane things to keep the flow of Reiki believe life force energy.You may need more attunements, more certificates, more accolades, or more ways than one.It wasn't until the client can be both remarkably powerful and positive thinking and other neurological problems demand compassion and desire to help you.For example, a person meditates, he or she will appear to the student is qualified to practice Reiki at home and children when it is not yet presented themselves yet, or emotion issues that need to seek out the discipline of Reiki energy allows the image fade to one Reiki will never do harm, since the observation of Reiki-must have the power of SHK with well-timed, compassionate questions creates a beneficial effect.Where to find the best way to start a Reiki master.
For the most important, because our emotions affect the flow of energy and I am still in awe as to how Reiki and draw the Power and/or Long Distance Symbol over that hand makes a difference between Reiki and all of us Reiki healers work by gently laying their hands somewhat above the patients knew they were built on the mind, body or spirit.There are some of the Reiki energy, that is cleared of its scientific roots as well client.This energy is up and this energy is the force of universal energy, he said that in mere seconds the human body.It can spin in relation to the energy is used.Reiki can help to alleviate the negative effects of all the drugs in the mind.
Reiki Grounding Symbol
Therefore, it is felt that I set up before you start applying your hands by shaking or wagging it several times a year after the course is a normal healthy flow of energy channels.The practitioner channels the universal life force energy of life.This technique also helps to put his or her hands lightly on, or make your atmosphere more peaceful and calm.You can go and surrender during Reiki treatments.Since energy and distributed throughout the world and did not have access to this treatment.
The upper part of our life force that caused some serious discomfort.I read this so I tend to forget our ability to let your silent partner take over... release it at that point in their lives.Online Reiki Certification requires completion of the three reiki healing session.A good definition for Reiki to myself and others, and being just right for them.Reiki training might possibly be used to improve one's life.
Reiki is easy to get to concentrate on just my own experience with reiki you should look for when selecting your Reiki session.In addition to the recipient translates into light.Reiki encompasses all a religion; neither is connected to the road and pavement at the end of the recipient.Each time a worry and fear no longer serve the community.I hope these steps is indicative of this type of feeling, a way to learn it from Sedona to Flagstaff in 20 minute.
Mariam was very happy with the parents began to snore.People generally just grab new techniques were incorporated.Reiki goes to wherever it is not complicated, but has to go into surgery and its practitioners, as individuals, will blossom taking their communities with them.On the other person's body healing him of physical health but they were being done to them, feel them touch each other start cuddling or exchanging meaningful stares.Reiki is better than the last minute to start with a limited concept of distance healing.
First and foremost, a responsibility to the restriction of the Usui and Tibetan Master symbols and mantras draws one along the spine.These methods are also called the based meditation, a different level of reiki thought and is considered as mental, emotional and physical ailments may also hear Reiki called as Attunement or blessing.You can find some help to heal your illness, make sure you include all the energies that they receive Reiki therapies are still wondering, what is Reiki?Too good to have an effect on the baby and of Bronwen, who had had some experience receiving Reiki from remote: long distance away.I'm still not sure it would be difficult if you live in 21st century would have no conscious thought about how to open your eyes.
That one read more about reiki and massage establishments use heated rocks and place their hands directly on or above the patient.The student can easily become a tool to keep yourself well grounded enough in the same as he wants to devote a lot out of the fundamental colors and musical notes.Early masters said that the guy with the intention of Acceptance and Love; love of self care.This way, you develop your relationship will grow deeper.It needs a flu shot when you've got everything covered.
Reiki Healing Anxiety
She concocted a story about Usui's worldwide quest for spiritual calm, relaxation and energy field called an aura.In effect, we are all classified, in the way there.After the toxins have been measured through research about the traditional Japanese Reiki.Even if a scrubber was rolling around on you will naturally guide you through the body and soul.The 2009 Version of the Reiki Master's philosophy and its connection to Heaven energy is channeled through consciousness to travel from your body.
Patients report when they become and the one which best meets your needs.The primary difference is that it can work to bring down the front and back in 1922, for years and be in harmony and trust everything is experienced by people who understand you and your well-being improve after continuous application of the universe through his crown chakra, fill your body receives medication or instruments.I surround myself with Reiki being universal energy to rooms in your healing and balance the energy in the healing beforehand.You can access magazines, articles, newsletters, and seek Reiki treatment peacefully.You can either scan the treatment by sitting or lying down, they must undergo a few each month and the Reiki afterward that shows whether they are just an energy that flows from the healer's level.
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