#if you can understand it it all comes together into a really fucking unique and kinda un-sonic but SUPER fun experience what

[waywardsalt]

tag rant but man i fuckin hate the new direction for loz

[fruitsofhell]

Sonic CD might be becoming my favorite classic Sonic game , ,,,,,

[tiredmamaissy]

Ralak te Sepawn ieyk’itan: Special Episode V

Something is Brewing

Masterlist ; Rut/Heat/Knotting Info

🔞 minors, do not interact 🔞

Hyperlinks are attached to specific paragraphs that when clicked on will lead you to its illustration by Ralak's insanely talented creator @zestys-stuff. Thank you so much for allowing me to play around with your characters!

Characters: Metkayina!Ralak (25) x Sully!Omaticaya!Reader (20)

Warnings: explicit pregnancy smut, pregnancy fluff, pregnancy angst [for the plot], pregnancy [this chapter is entirely about pregnancy if you haven't caught my drift, just giving you guys a proper warning], age gap, mood swings, cravings, nausea, vomiting, reader is very clumsy, intimate/invasive medical treatment, rut cycle, sexual tension, pregnant sex, p in v, titty fucking, cum eating (m and f), oral sex (m and f), masturbation, exhibitionism (kinda, not really), lactation kink

Word Count: 17.5k (this takes the cake, i apologize)

Requested: Yes || No

Author’s Note: Hey guys! Thank you all for being so patient with me as usual. I had planned to post this chapter earlier, but with the help of @zestys-stuff, we made a last minute change to the chapter. This will definitely cause some changes in the next chapter, so I’m going to work on that right away. I won’t lie, I’m really nervous to publish this one. It's been a while and I’ve ventured into some new territory where I’ve introduced a couple of new themes and -drumroll- a new character. There are parts of this chapter that can possibly cause discomfort (technically, all of this could), so I urge you guys to proceed with caution and click off if you do feel uncomfortable in any way. Aside from that, it’s good to be back (again, lol) and I hope you enjoy!

Synopsis: A timeline of your pregnancy with Ralak’s child, shown through a series of flashbacks of your most prominent milestones—some of which foreshadow something bigger to come…

<- Previous -> Next

Pregnancy is tough. 

A beautiful blessing, but tough nonetheless. With its own set of hardships, uniquely tailored to your own being. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. A sore back, chest, ankles…the list is seemingly endless. The shift in moods, the fatigue. Adjusting to an entire new being growing inside you—one that sucks the nutrients straight from your bones and blood—has your body overcompensating.  

At first it was a dream. 

No life-changing symptoms. It was smooth sailing for the first few weeks. Life went on as usual. If anything, others were more reactive to your pregnancy than you were. Your skimwing became aggressive towards Ralak, snapping at him and whipping her tail, treating him as a threat rather than a companion. He was more than understanding, as it’s common for the protective instinct to kick in when the tsurak senses their rider is with child.  

More importantly, it was an urge that Ralak shared with the beast.

—

You watch as your tendrils intertwine with your skimwing, and how they come together with a rough tug. You let out a rugged breath and the beast beneath you starts to writhe. Ralak instinctively grasps at the harness to steady you and— 

Slash. 

Your trsuak whips her spiked tail at your mate, who blocks it with his strake.

“Shit.” You gasp, tugging at the leather strap and patting her neck to subdue her. “I thought I was in control. Are you alright?”

Ralak nods, his hair now soaked and plastered to his chest. He simply chuckles, respectfully and cautiously approaching the beast with an open hand. Despite this, your tsurak continues to thrash, repeatedly snapping her snout open and shut. Ralak clicks melodically a few times, and her pupils blow and constrict as she calms down. He strokes her snout with one hand, and lays his other on your thigh, gripping it lightly.

“She senses that you are with child.” 

“She does?”

“Yes. That is why she protects you. I understand the feeling.” His accent is thick on his tongue. 

——

Then the nausea came. It was… unbearable. Insufferable. It was almost frightful, actually. Not being able to stomach anything really brought down a sense of dread upon your shoulders. Most days, you found yourself worried about the budding life inside you more than yourself. 

Was he getting enough? Would he develop properly if you went another day without eating? 

Ralak was more worried about you, of course. Going to great lengths to find something you could stomach. Spoon feeding you as you laid down all day from the gut churning nausea. Washing the sick out of your hair when you missed the bucket at your bedside. Detangling and braiding it for you to keep it clean and out of your face. Releasing his pheromones—your only relief—just to put you to sleep at night. 

—

t.w. nausea, vomiting.

In the crisp night, a wave of nausea washes over you, waking you from your sleep. Typically, this is the only time you have a break from the nausea—your slumber. That, and the first ten minutes after throwing up.

You quickly hurl over, grabbing and heaving into your bedside bucket, something that's rightfully earned its spot at your side. Ralak jolts awake, sitting up behind you to gather your hair into his fist, rubbing your back as you retch. 

“Alrigght.” He hums lengthily. “Get it up.”

Finally, you stop. You gasp and pant for air, sitting up only to collapse back into him. “I h-hate this–haah.”

“I do, too.” He grits, reaching over you for the rag at your bedside, and wiping your mouth.

He hates seeing you so sick. He’s tried it all, and though he’s found a few foods that you can stomach, nothing seems stops the nausea. Well, that’s not entirely true.

Ralak relaxes his body, focusing on opening his scent glands to release his his pheromones. They slowly become stronger, calming you down and dulling the waves of nausea. He pulls you close to his warm body, reaching behind him for his kuru. 

“Tsaheylu.” He whispers yearningly, making the bond slowly. He sets a steady breathing pattern, slipping his hand over your tiny bump to caress it. The sickening feeling eases up enough for you to drift back to sleep, Ralak along with you.

——

Thankfully, Eywa lifted you of your säspxin [sickness] when you were about to come upon your third month of pregnancy. Cravings increased ten-fold almost instantly. On the occasion where you couldn’t keep it down—when the desperation was too much—you’d volunteer Ralak to eat it for you so that you could satisfy the craving vicariously through him.

—

“Eywa, that’s so good. One more bite.”

“Tanhí. Enough now.” He grumbles, feeling overly stuffed and almost queasy. 

You glance down at the purple hue of your connected kurus.

“Please...” Your eyes burn as they threaten to well with tears, and your bottom lip quivers, “…last one, promise.”

Ralak sighs, shoveling in another bite of boiled squid, chewing it slowly so you can savor the taste. You keep your eyes closed as he eats, tongue swirling in your mouth to swish your pooling saliva in your cheeks. And when he swallows, you swallow too, gulping down your spit. 

“Thank you.” You say shyly as you open your eyes, feeling bad for making him overeat now that you can really feel his fullness. 

It is my pleasure. Never feel bad. His accented voice tickles your brain. A smile spreads across your face, just as one does on his. 

——

And when you could keep it down, they were delightful when satiated. Keyword being satiated. It posed an issue when they were what Ralak called, ‘forest food’, or on a more rare occasion—‘sky people food’. Those were the insatiable ones. The ones he couldn’t just whip up for you. The times he'd come to you with his ears laid flat to his skull, admitting his defeat. Those were the moments where you felt something stronger than just disappointment. 

It left you gutted. 

—

You can’t stop the tears from flowing down your cheeks. They’re hot and leave a sticky film on your skin, clumping your eyelashes together. It’s stupid. They’re stupid. Stupid tears, from a stupid cause. All because you want your grandmother’s stupid soup. Another thing the blessing of pregnancy has bestowed on you—big, intense feelings. 

As you soak in your bath, Ralak cooks dinner and you just know that whatever is in the pot is something that will make your stomach churn. You bury your face in the palms of your hands, trying to keep your snotty sobs to a minimum. It’s ridiculous, sobbing over something like this. It’s shameful, even. How can you be so ungrateful when this man goes to such lengths to care for you?

“Tanhì!” You hear his rough voice echo from the pod. 

You quickly wipe your face clean, and scramble for your loincloth and top, slipping them back onto your body. Finally, you fix your hair and force a smile to your face. As you get up to the marui, you’re met with the sight of Ralak stirring the soup pot over the firepit. Then the smell hits you. Typically the first thing to set off your nausea to begin with. It smells like—

Grandmother’s soup.

You stare at your mate wide eyed, taking a deep breath to savour it in your lungs. Outside of Ralak’s scent, nothing has smelled this good in months. And you swear you can already taste it on your tongue, the savoury flavour with the sweet aftertaste. 

“I asked your mother. Hope that is okay.” Ralak speaks casually as he serves you a bowl.

As you let out a harsh breath, your eyes burn as the tears come back with a vengeance. You sniffle once, twice—thrice, whimpering quietly as they roll down your cheeks. Ralak looks up at you, concern and honestly a smidge of confusion fixed to his face. Putting the bowl down, he stands and comes over to you, enveloping you in his arms. 

“I do not like to see you cry.” He hums, kissing the crown of your head. “Is it the smell? I will make you something different.” 

“N-No, no. It’s… it smells great. I’m sorry. I—I” You sputter, burying your face into his chest. 

“Then what is it, tìyawn [love]? What do you need?” Ralak cups your face and gently tilts your head upwards so he can look you in the eyes. “Tell me and it is yours.” 

“Thank you.” You croak, feeling your bottom lip curl over and kiss your chin. Now his facial expression is just pure confusion. He tuts in a comforting manner, pulling you back in close to his chest as he waits for you to settle, rocking side to side. 

“Alright, my little one. Shh–shh.”

——

Soon after, that soup pot made quite an appearance. It became your favourite dish, your favourite craving. Ralak made it just like grandmother, for the most part. There were a few omaticayan herbs missing, but outside of that it tasted like…home. At that point, you felt like you had this pregnancy thing down pat and could return to a semi-normal life. 

Everything was relatively the same, except a few obvious things—your growing bump and lack of heats. That was also a blessing, not having to go through a torturous heat every month. Though, you couldn’t say that for Ralak. 

As you neared the end of your third month of pregnancy, his pheromones grew stronger, wafting by you at random times of the day. At first you thought he was just doing it for you. Or, perhaps it was your heightened sense of smell. 

But the day came when his scent was so potent, it was as if it had stained your lips. There wasn’t a moment where you couldn’t smell the scent of your mate under your nose. That was the night you realised it was out of his control. That it was his rut coming. That was the night you confronted him at the bonfire. 

The night he looked at you like you were something to eat. 

— 

Right…there.

You catch the flicker of his eyes just before he lowers his head, shifting to that deep shade of blue. He keeps stealing a glance or two. Maybe even three, or more. It’s hard to keep count when he’s looking at you like this.

is piercing eyes, sultry and alluring, tempting you to crawl through these roaring flames just to get to him quicker. His demeanour. His stance and posture. His domineering leer. Whatever he—or his body—is doing, is working. 

He sits on the boulder, elbow perched on one thick thigh and a hand propped on the other. His hair covers his chestpiece, curled ends barely brushing against his defined ribcage. His bioluminescent freckles dance under the moonlight, his turquoise skin almost golden from the cast of the fire. It’s all so intimidating. He’s exuding dominance, practically looming over you despite him being seated. But there’s something about his aura, something darker.

“I can feel it, you know.” You speak casually, uncrossing your legs.

Ralak’s eyes snap up, boring into yours. He cocks a brow, keeping his eyes locked on you as you stand and walk towards him.

“Your rut. It’s close, isn’t it?”

This would be your first, real rut with him. Without the influence of your own heat. Ralak huffs a sigh, his eyes falling to the small bump that’s in his direct line of sight. Ralak watches as it seemingly grows bigger the closer you get. 

“You are showing.” His hands gently rest on your lower abdomen. Holding his shoulders, you slowly straddle him. 

“Answer me.” You whisper as you cup his face, tilting it upwards to make him look at you. “I want to be with you… and before you say it—” Ralak grits his teeth as he turns his head away, out of your hands.

“No.” 

“Ralak. I am your mate.” You retaliate through tight lips. You knew this would pose an issue. 

“Y/n.” He growls, turning his head to look you in the eyes. “You know my rut. Must I remind you that you are with child? It is final.” 

“I do know, and that’s why I won’t let you go through that alone, ever again.” Though your voice is stern, he can hear the tenderness in it. That this comes from a place of concern and love.

“I will not be in control.” Ralak admits as he shakes his head firmly, flicking his gaze back down to your belly. 

“Look…I made a plan.” You basically confess that you’ve been conjuring up ideas on how to endure this together all day. Although his eyes and hands remain fixed on your tummy, Ralaks ears perk up. He’s listening. 

“How do you feel about…being tied up?” 

Now you’ve got his attention, eyes snapping up to meet yours. The idea of being tied up isn’t entirely foreign to him. It’s something that his people use as a punishment for those who do wrong. He’s not opposed to it. Having a rut so intense is probably something to be punished for, anyways. 

“Hands behind your back…bound to the marui stilt. I will be the one in control. I will take care of you.”

You take his hands from your stomach and tuck them behind his back, your face now millimeters from his. Ralak fights the urge to kiss you. To free his hands from his back to grab your hips and shove your further down onto his growing bulge.

“...feed you…water you…bathe you.” Your voice falters as you swallow your spit. “...fuck you.” 

“...that so?” He whispers against your lips, heart thudding wildly behind his ribcage. 

You look in his eyes, and see that they tremble with constraint. He can’t hide it, the look on his face gives it away. He’s really struggling to think straight. To keep his answer as a firm no. And it doesn’t help that he’s on the cusp of his rut. He yearns to accept. Every fibre of his being wants this–wants you. You see it in his eyes, as they flicker like the flame behind you.

He just needs a little push. 

“We’ll take it slow…gently.” You roll your hips into him and feel his cock straining against his tewng. You lean in close, lips brushing against his as you speak into his mouth. “And, if anything happens… we’ll stop. No knotting.” 

His ears twitch. He’s considering it. Really, actually considering this. But how could he? How could he expect this of you in your state? He squeezes his eyes shut, frustrated and conflicted. And aroused. So fucking aroused that when he feels your lips drag against his cheek, your tongue tasting the lobe of his ear…your breathy whisper, “Pänutìng [Promise].”, he lets out a heated, shaky breath of defeat. Of surrender. 

That seals the deal.

—

Not now. Not yet. Ralak thinks to himself, fighting his urges.

The urge to mate—to pin you down and drive himself inside you. He must remain in control. For you. For your unborn. He sits on the floor, slumped against the stilt of the marui, bowed shoulders and a heavy, hung head. His skin, flushed, and eyes swollen—glowing a vibrant mauve. His hair haphazardly sticks to his sweltering skin as his hands lethargically twiddle with the braided twine behind his back. 

Groggy, you strain to open your eyes and quickly scan your surroundings. Ralaks pheromones cloud the room, engulfing you with their overpowering scent. As you sit up, the bed creaks and Ralak lifts his head, allowing it to flump limply back into the stilt. Extra lidded eyes and tensed brows, he breathes through his mouth. He wills himself to speak, but he’s heavy and sluggish as if he were three bottles deep.

“Ralak.” Your voice is wary and full of concern. Your eyes continue to trail down his body, landing on the undeniable, taut bulge in his loincloth. His cock strains against the fabric, precum completely soaking it through. “How long have you been like this?” 

“Few hours.” He croaks out a dry throat. 

“And you didn’t wake me?” You hastily make your way behind him, slipping to your knees to take the twine from him. 

Fuck. There it is. Your scent...driving him over the edge. Wafting past his nose and making him woozy in the head. 

“Tie me.” He demands. For a moment, you’re frozen in place by his tone, unable to move your hands and fingers. “Quickly.” 

The edginess in his voice startles you, causing you to fumble with the twine. You take a breath and begin tying the knot as he taught you, weaving the twine with itself, tugging at the ends to close it.

“Tighter.” He snaps at you, making your ears lay flat. You pull the ends even tauter, witnessing the twine pinch the thin skin on his wrists. 

“Shit—sorry. Didthat hurt?” You go to loosen the knot, but he pulls at the restraints, making it even tighter.  

“Leave it.” He grumbles, tugging yet again, ensuring it’s unyielding.

Because the closer you get, the harder he finds it to resist. He needs to know that he can’t get out—that he can’t hurt you—before he loses it completely. And with that delicious scent seeping from your neck, he feels himself slipping under. 

“Are you sure? I can tie you after you drink some water and have a—” 

“No...haah—now.” He growls, dropping his head causing the rest of his hair to flow forward and cover his face. “…need you now.” 

Blood rushes to your cheeks, heating them up and flushing them over. You can even feel your heart pumping it harder–faster. It’s hot in here, but even hotter now that you feel yourself heating up too. It’s his rut, influencing you like some sort of drug. You can barely control your breathing, much less think straight. But you told him that you’d be the one in control, the one to care for him. 

“Mawey, ma’ muntxatan [Calm, my husband].” You whisper close to his ear, giving the knot a final tug. “What kind of mate would I be if I did not care for you first? Hm?”  

You shuffle to your feet, and walk away, newly widened hips swaying side to side with temptation. He’s taking in the show through the cracks of space between his clumped together strands of hair, unable to look away no matter how hard he tries. Knowing this, you bend over, lifting your tail to expose your clothed mound to him. You swear you can hear a hiss seep from his lips, and that brings a smile to yours. 

Teasing him is one of your favourite things to do. 

You scoop up some water into the cup, and bring it over to him. Using two fingers to his chin, you tilt his head back, revealing the famine in his inebriated eyes. They’re glossy with need and desperation, begging you to take his ache away. 

“Alright, alright.” You coo softly, sinking back to your knees. “I’m going to make it go away. Now, drink for me.” You bring the cup to his lips, tilting it carefully as he gulps it down thirstily. A few drops dribble down his chin and onto his already glistening chest, rolling down his unflexed stomach. 

Tossing the empty cup to the side, you bend forward and lick the beads of water up his stomach, to his throat, to his lips. His arms jerk reflexively, wanting to cup your face as your lips lock with his.

Throwing a leg over his lap, you straddle him, pressing against the bulge in his sticky tewng. You cup his face instead, deepening the kiss to have a taste of the potent desperation on his tongue.

When you pull away, your noses brush against one another and you feel woozy in the head. His rut is beginning to affect you now. Which isn’t all a bad thing if you want to be able to keep up with him for the next couple days.  

Your hand smoothes over his jawbone to the nape of his neck, where you gently grip the base of his kuru. His ears immediately lay flat to his head, reddening at just the tips. Running your hand along its length, you bring the end of his kuru in front of him. 

“Going to make the bond.” You warn him breathily, bringing forth your queue as well. 

At this point, Ralak is huffing for air and sweating profusely. It looks as if he’s nearing his peak already. This only reaffirms that you’re making the right decision by making tsaheylu—you need the direct influence of his tìsom [heat]. 

When the tendrils intertwine, you come together with a sharp tug and gasp. Instantaneously, you sink into a hazy state, heating up from within. Your breath syncs with his, and suddenly you’re panting too. 

“Ralak.” You moan softly, grinding into him for a bit of friction.

You can’t stop your hips from snapping, and your loincloth is almost completely soaked. He throws his head back into the wooden stilt, looking at you through lidded eyes as he lets loose subtle groans. He looks more than hungry. He looks starved. 

With trembling hands, you search for the knot of his loincloth at the base of his tail. After a bit of scuffling, you untether it and shimmy his tewng down his hips and off of him. Up springs his aching cock, veiny and swollen. It’s so obviously neglected, glossy and sticky with his slick, so uncomfortably hard that it’s already pulsing as it stands firmly pressed against your clothed cunt. 

“Fuck. It’s… even bigger.” You’re taken aback, unsure of how exactly you managed to take this inside you last time he was in rut. Then you notice the red tinge of colour on his cockhead, especially where his ridges stand erect. “D-Does that hurt, karyu?” Bump in the way, you shift your hips back to reveal what exactly you’re talking about. “Need your numeyu to take away the pain?” 

The giant remains silent, but his cock jumps in response, oozing out another large bead of precum. Using your pointer finger, you trace the length of his cock, swollen balls to his pointed tip, collecting that fresh bead of slick on the pad of your digit. He watches intently as you pop your finger into your mouth and suckle, swallowing his semi-sweet essence. His brows knit tightly together. 

You know this is nothing short of torture to him. And though you have every intention to take the ache away… when would you get another opportunity like this? Where this giant is tied down and unable to resist the pleasure you bring him. Where you’re completely… in control. Fuck, you’ve never felt like this before. It's exhilarating. It’s a feeling of power. Of dominance.

A smirk pulls at your lips.   

You begin to pull yourself to your knees, brushing your swollen breasts against his lips. His tongue darts out, eager for a taste. Looking down, you cup one breast with your hand, and guide your stiff nipple into his mouth. His lips pucker over it, closing once they make contact for a vacuum seal.

Your breath hitches when you feel his tongue tickle the sensitive tip of your nipple. His teeth graze against them as he tries to do this handsfree, and you let out a low hiss. Soon his movements grow erratic, being bound to the marui stilt is starting to frustrate him. 

“Ah-ah. What do you need, karyu? Just tell me.” Your voice is feigned with innocence. He breathes heavy against your chest, keeping quiet as his focus is purely on getting his fill. “You won’t get anything from them.” You tsk, tugging away little by little, until eventually you pop off his mouth. 

You continue to rise to your feet, dragging his lips along your swelling tummy, until he’s eye level to the band of your tewng. You can feel his eyes pierce into you, his stare is anything but discreet. It’s intimidating. Your hand flies to the back of your loincloth, fiddling with the knot to untie it. 

“Is it this?”

The cloth drops to your ankles, exposing your flushed cunt to him. It’s pink and hot to the touch, undeniably aroused. Your scent grows stronger with each passing second, filling his lungs. It’s driving him insane—being able to see and smell, but not touch. His rut is only making him more irritable. He just needs to fuck into something and spill himself inside. 

His eyes glisten over an even brighter shade of purple, locking onto their meal. He wets his bottom lip with a quick swipe of his tongue as you take a step closer. You cup his jawbone, tilting it upwards to look down at him. The sight is… intoxicating. His lidded eyes, blown pupils that are threatening to roll to the back of his head. Tensed brow bones and damped, slightly parted lips—not a drop of composure left in his features. 

That new feeling rushes through you again, making you take two more steps forward. Your bare cunt brushes against the tip of his nose, officially branding it with your scent. He leans into you, closing his eyes and straining his neck to indulge himself. 

Your thumb smoothes over his jaw before your hand slips to the back of his head. You fist his hair and yank his head back, sending his eyes flying open. With your free hand, you spread your pussy lips, exposing your swollen clit. It’s sticky and in need of attention, throbbing occasionally as you tug your hood back. 

“Now, suck.” You demand breathily, slowly guiding him by the head to bring his lips to your clit.

You clench around nothing when you feel his heated, slippery lips pucker over the stiffened nub, sucking gently. Sharp eyes bore into yours before they roll back, leaving nothing but the whites exposed. Lids finally fluttering closed, he sucks a little harder, tips of his canines accidentally nipping your supple skin.  

“Ss—fuck.” You hiss, hips snapping back with force, popping off his mouth with a sharp sting. Frantic fingers rub away the tingling sensation as you grit your teeth. You shuffle your feet to ground yourself as you tighten your grip on his hair and hold his head still. 

“I know you’re in rut, but be good to your muntxate [wife].” You warn through your teeth before shoving his face back into your cunt.

This time he feasts with greed, groaning like a starved man. Eating, like a starved man. He’s slurping and sucking, lapping up your slick as it coats his tongue and lips, enjoying every second of your reign.

“Oh—oh shit. Fuck. Right there—” You moan breathlessly, free hand flying to his head to fist his hair, using it as leverage to keep him just where he is.

Before you know it your hips are moving on their own, humping at his face as you hold him tightly with both hands. With each thrust you shove him further back into the stilt, until the back of your hand is repeatedly hitting its surface. 

Until you’re hunched over him, looking him deep in the eyes as you grind into whatever part of him your clit is rubbing against. He expertly holds his breath as he allows you full control to fuck his face as if you were the one in heat.

Because with each roll of your hips he feels it too.

He feels the jolt of pleasure that shoots through you when his tongue hits your clit in that special spot. When the tips of his canines graze your swollen folds. The feeling is all consuming and he’s whining into your cunt from the over—and under—stimulation. His cock shifts to a shade of purple, jumping each time you thrust into his mouth. 

‘Sorry, Ralak. ‘m sorry.’ You think to him through tsaheylu, feeling the burn in your own lungs now. 

“Haa—ah, fuck. Thrust. Fuck. Thrust. F-Fuck! I’m gonna cum—in your—ngh!” Your voice quavers as you come suddenly undone in his mouth, holding him firm and still as you rock your body into him. 

His eyes slam shut and his brows knit tightly together as he grunts repeatedly into your cunt. He tugs harshly at his restraints and his heels dig into the woven floor. Yet still, you hold onto him even tighter until your pussy stops fluttering. 

With a loud, shaky gasp, you yank him away, letting go of his hair to grab the marui stilt to stop your trembling legs from giving out beneath you. Ralak wheezes loudly, shoulders heaving harshly as he frantically pants for air. His face is bright pink, flushed and glazed in a layer of sweat. He opens his eyes but they’re so heavy that you can barely see the colour in them. 

“Rutxe [please].” Ralak begs through a desperate groan, flicking his stare downwards. And when you look, you’re met with the sight of his still-throbbing cock, covered in his sticky, thick cum. Shiney beads still ooze out and dribble down his length and onto his swollen, firm balls. 

His first word was a plea of help. 

Your heart aches in your chest. How could you let yourself go so far with your little bit of power? To be so selfish. And here he was, in so much discomfort and yet you put your needs first. Leaving him so neglected to the point his body makes the release for him. Is this how he felt after he unleashed six pent up years on you in a couple days? 

Pent up years of suffering. 

“Shh. You’re okay, my love. You’re okay.” You whisper as you slowly squat down. “I got you. I’m going to make it…” you hold eye contact with him as you lower yourself onto his cock, aligning his tip with your sopping entrance, “…all better now.” 

You wince when his cock slowly penetrates you, mewling a little higher with every inch you manage to take. The stretch is almost unbearable. This is the first rut you’ve spent with him without being in heat. 

No foggy haze to dull the ache. 

No emptiness to be filled. 

And it doesn’t help that your womb is already so full. 

Your mewl quickly turns into a whimper when your bodies become flush to one another. Ralaks head slumps back into the marui stilt and he heaves a loud, lengthy moan of relief from being buried deep inside your warm cunt. You feel so good around him, making his cock heat up and twitch inside of you. 

Snaking your arms around his neck, you hold onto him as you frantically try to adjust to his size. It’s dawning on you exactly what you’ve gotten yourself into, and that you’ve seriously underestimated his rut. A sense of uncertainty begins to tighten your stomach but it quickly dissipates when you hear Ralak’s second plea. 

“Rutxe, ma’ tanhì..” Ralak mutters with a pained, gravelly voice. 

Without another word, you move your hips up and down, dragging his length along your gummy, slick walls. Your movements are sloppy and uncoordinated, you’re not used to doing most of the work much less all of it. With his hands tied behind his back, you can already feel the burn in your thighs and the throb in the tips of your toes. 

Regardless, you keep moving your hips. 

Bouncing up and down on his cock, pressing your forehead into his in a poor attempt to steady your position. That little sting slowly morphs into something of pleasure the more your hips meet his with a slap. And soon all you can hear is smack, after smack, after smack. The noises that split his lips tell you all you need to know. He’s feeling good and that’s all that matters. 

But exhaustion hits you quickly—unexpectedly. His cock is buried to the hilt inside you, and the more tired your legs get, the deeper it drills inside you, pressing harshly into your cervix. Your legs are trembling uncontrollably and you can barely catch your breath, leaving you no choice but to lazily rock back and forth on his cock. 

Ralak lets out a grunt and bucks his hips. 

“Haah!” You yelp.

Ralaks ears lay flat, lips pursed tightly into a thin line. He can’t hold back his frustration any longer. He’s growing impatient. If he didn’t get his real release soon he may really lose it. He’s grunting through his nose and tugging at his restraints, bruising his wrists. You feel him shift his hips up and shove his cock as far as he can inside you. 

“Ngh! I-It won’t go any deeper!” Your voice strains as you try to lift yourself up. But he just keeps pushing until his feet are grounded. And then his hips drop, pulling his cock half way out of you. 

Thrust.

Ralak slams his cock back inside you, drilling deeper than he was before. Your mouth falls open as all the air is forcefully expelled from your lungs. As you suck in a gasp of air he thrusts inside you again. And again. And again. Until he’s rutting into you in a feverish frenzy, chasing his climax as if it were prey. His thrusts turn relentless, leaving you breathless with each buck of his hips. 

“Fuck—fuck—fu—” Your voice bounces with his thrusts. 

You look down, met with eyes that are empty yet heavy with appetite. He’s in the thick of it and he’s no longer all there. He’s purely instinct now and the only thing holding him back from pinning you down and having his way with you is the twine wrapped around his wrists. 

You can’t lie and say that you aren’t enjoying the look on his face and the break from the burn in your thighs. Stars sprinkle your vision as you’re overwhelmed with the immense pleasure he’s slamming into you. He’s fucking you into submission and you’re mind is borderline blank. His groans are primal and guttural, and they grow louder with each hysteric thrust. 

“Want to knot.” He huffs suddenly—desperately. You can feel his thick knot poke and prod at your entrance, his thrusts now sloppy and erratic. 

“Fuck, I—” You know you shouldn’t, no matter how hazy his rut is making you feel. “W-We can’t. I’m still ea—rly.” But he’s too busy watching himself fuck you in a daze, drenched with sweat. “Ralak…” You grab his face, tilting his chin upwards so he looks you in the face. His gaze is hollow yet his features are tense. “…are y–ou hear–ing me, la–k?”

“Need to breed.” He growls as he fights against his restraints. He doesn’t ease up on his tussle with the twine, sweating and panting as he desperately tries to force his knot inside you. 

“Shit.” You mutter, coming to the quick realisation that he can’t stop himself. “Wait, wait, wait—” 

Your hands fall from his face to his stomach, pushing down in a panicky attempt to lift yourself off him. But his rut is making you sluggish and weak, so you make the quick decision to sever the bond with a rough yank. 

Snap. 

“Oh, fuck.” You curse under your breath. 

The twine breaks, and his arms fly forward, hands making impact with your hips, fingernails digging into the thin skin. His grip is unyielding as he holds you down firmly on his cock. You feel him throb inside you as he attempts to plug you full with his knot. 

“Lak! Ralak, h-hold on!” As much as you actually want to, you can barely take what’s inside you as it is.

“Submit.” He rasps, top lip curled tight to his teeth, baring his canines. 

“I—I’m pregnant.” You whisper quickly, voice hoarse and strained. 

Immediately, his movements cease and his eyes flick down to your tiny bump, then widen when he finally realises. In one swift, sudden move, he lifts you off him and uses your swollen pussy lips to hug his cock and finish himself off. He rocks you back and forth like a rag doll at the mercy of undying grip, growling and grunting. 

His head drops forward when he outright howls. You look down and witness his mushroomy head pulsating feverishly, spurting out his load in thick ropes, all over his stomach and chest. All whilst his engorged, throbbing knot pulses against your slit as he cums, earning some well deserved comfort and warmth.

Ralak sputters as he tries to catch his breath, hands still glued to your hips. The fog still clouds his mind but it’s less blinding now. He’s just about capable of acknowledging what just happened. To acknowledge that this was risky, and could’ve ended badly. That, if you hadn’t said something to him, he would have knotted you without mercy.

An uncomfortable silence passes between you, where you’re both breathing heavily and staring at one another. You both share the same thought—the same realisation. His rut is too aggressive for you to handle right now. 

“I must go.” Ralak looks away as he breaks the silence, wanting to take advantage of his release before the pressure builds yet again. He’s clear headed enough to leave without turning back and pouncing on you. 

“No, don’t… we can try again.” You say softly, hand cupping his jawbone, turning him to face you. You feel terrible that he may have to spend this rut alone, that you couldn’t fulfil your promise—your duty as his mate. 

“I almost knotted you, y/n.” His eyes gloss over with guilt, his hands finally peeling away your bruised hips. 

“But… you didn’t. You stopped yourself—” 

“And if I do not leave now… I will.” Ralak growls inches away from your face.

You’re a little taken aback by his bluntness, but you know it’s the truth. And it’s final. No matter what you say. No matter how it makes the flesh between your legs throb a little more. You nod, keeping yourself quiet. 

“I will see you in a couple days. I love you both.” Your lips meet briefly before he carries you to bed and readies himself to leave. You watch in silence, murmuring an “I love you, too” under your breath when he exits the marui.  

—

As time passed you grew more angsty, unable to keep in one spot or focus on a single task. All that ran on your mind was Ralak and how he was probably suffering all alone. All because you failed to do your duty as his mate. The guilt was almost sickening, having you dry heaving into your bedside bucket a few times for the rest of the day. 

Until later that night. 

You rub in the thick, oily concoction on your belly, getting ready for bed. The sound of the marui door flapping open startles you, making you jump in your skin and clutch your stomach. You’re not expecting Ralaks return so soon. 

A silhouette stands tall at the door, his bioluminescent star pattern unmistakable. 

“Ralak? Oh, Ralak. Eywa. You’re back. I should have made dinner. I thought you'd be gone for a while longer. You must be so hungry. You—” You speak urgently, eyes flicking down to his tewng, which is seemingly damp, “—was it too much? …are you alright? Let me help you, lak.”

“Tanhì.” Ralaks cuts you short, voice trembling slightly, yet full of relief. “It is done.” 

“…what?” The question is breathy. 

“My rut.” Ralak says as he makes his way towards you, scooping up a glob of your special concoction. He sits next to you, and begins massaging it into your back. “You have fixed me.” 

You come to the realization that he's talking about his rut finishing earlier than usual—like that of an average na'vi.

“You were never broken, my love.” You moan softly, closing your eyes to enjoy the massage.

Ralak then rests his chin on your shoulder, smoothing his hands down your back and around your abdomen—rubbing what's left on his hands onto your swelling belly. His touch prickles your skin, sending the tip of your tail swishing. 

“I live for you.” He mutters with a thick accent, nuzzling his face into your neck. “I will die for you.”

Your heart skips a beat when you hear his words, he must have really been suffering for the past six years. You feel your face heat up, and you try to fight the smile balling your cheeks. You opt to drop your head and hide your face instead, resting a hand on his thigh. 

“Well. We won’t have you doing that.” You giggle, rubbing his upper thigh as you turn your head to glance at him. “…the last part, that is.” 

But he just looks at you, face still as stone. He speaks sternly.

“I will.” He speaks sternly.

You swallow your spit, tempted to drop your head again as you take in the gravity of his two words. You nod, searching his eyes with yours as you close the space between you. You hover open mouthed against his lips. 

“Me too.”

——

Time waits for no one. 

At least that’s how it felt. You had ballooned overnight, round and a little heavier as you embarked on your sixth month of pregnancy. His kicks grew stronger and more uncomfortable. But it was Ralaks favourite thing to feel before bed.

You found yourself spending most of your days bouncing between your marui and your family’s marui—paying your family visits more often. They grew fond of the idea that there would be an addition to the family and it became a regular thing for you to seek refuge there when Ralak was roped in for his ‘duties’. Which seemed to increase in number the further along you progressed. 

Ralak had his daily duties—tending to the ilus, a few lessons, fishing... These were just the simpler tasks that you could say you knew for certain he did. But there were his ‘fkxaranga’ [stressful] duties’, as you liked to call them.

The ones where Tonowari would summon him with nothing else but a simple nudge or glance. The duties that were spontaneous. That stole precious hours of his time. Duties that left Ralak spent and on edge, reaching for his top shelf when he came home. Those were the ones you dreaded the most. 

The ones like last night. 

——

With a huff, Ralak chucks his gear onto the floor and roughly unclips his chest piece. His pointed tools are covered in some sort of thick, iridescent muck, shifting from green to orange as they rock side to side on the floor. It’s something you’ve been seeing recently with no idea as to what it is. 

Ralak grunts, bringing your attention to his lips, which are slightly downturned. The more you take in the sight before you the more it occurs to you how exhausted this man is. His eyes are hollow, ears droopy, tail dragging heavily behind him. His muscles are seized up despite the bow of his shoulders—he looks as if he could use a massage. 

“Manga [Hey, you].” You get up to meet him at the door, taking the chest piece out of his hands to hang up on the wooden stand. “Tonowari is working your tail off. Do I need to have a word with that man?” 

He only works up a grumble as you lead him over to the bed. “That bad? What is he making you do? Hunt akulas? Eywa.”  

Ralak sits down, face sinking into his hands before two fingers slip down to pinch the bridge of his nose. You climb up and settle behind him, huffing and puffing along the way. Your hands smooth over his back, thumbs pressing firmly into his muscles, kneading the flesh until you feel him loosen up. 

Though the question sounded rhetorical, he knew it wasn’t. He knows you’re awaiting a response, the silence is loud and clear. You always want to know more about his day, fine details and all. And he’s usually reluctant to speak of it, but insisting it’s nothing for you to worry your head over. But recently, your inquisitivity is… well founded. And he knows it.

“Not quite.” He mumbles wearily into his palm, ears laid flat to his skull–although it wasn’t uncommon for him to encounter an akula or two whilst fulfilling the olo’eyktan’s orders. 

You open your mouth to question him further, but you can tell that he’s more than tired. And it didn’t help that you were constantly needing his help, especially now that you’re growing heavier.

Going down the stairs is a struggle considering you can no longer see your own feet or keep your balance. You had been waking him up almost twice a night to help you down the marui stairs just to pee. He’d always be happy to help, though. He understands that this is what comes with the changes that are happening to your body that’s giving life to his child. 

“Rest. Please.” You say softly, tugging at him to lie down in bed with you. 

To your surprise, he actually lays down, assuming his typical position before dozing off for the night—on his back with a hand on your belly. You expected him to resist a little, insisting something or another.

He really, really must be tired. Your heart fills with something heavy. Something that makes you almost feel sick. Your brows pinch as you look beside you to see his tensed face relax into something of tranquility. 

And a smile pulls at your lips when his eyes fall shut. 

Dinner’s over the firepit—his favourite stew with extra mushrooms. The sound of it bubbling becomes louder as it thickens. With a quick, final stir, you take it off the fire and cover it to let it sit. You hope that this will help lift his mood when he wakes. You look over to him as he lays stockstill with softened features, breathing tidally. 

Holding onto a supporting beam of the marui, you bring yourself to your feet and waddle your way over to him. You extend a hand to wake him for dinner but you hesitate. He needs this. And that’s when you make the decision to allow him however long it takes to rest. Even if it means that you speak to Tonowari yourself. 

Night falls and the temperature falls with it. The glowing firepit keeps the stew and marui warm for the time being as you prepare for bed. You draw the curtains and glance over to your mate, who still remains in a deep sleep, tucked cozily under the blanket you covered him with. You drape the shawl he wove you over your shoulders, and make your way to the door. 

A silent yawn splits your lips just before you lift away the flap. Your eyelids are heavy and the drowsiness is weighing on you tenfold. You have one last step of your nightly routine before you can crawl into bed next to your husband. And that's emptying the bladder that your son uses as a footrest. Plus, if you didn’t do it now, it would just be an additional trip in the middle of the night. 

As you make your way to the door, the need to go becomes urgent. Perhaps it was all the water you thirstily chugged whilst eating, or maybe it's just the fact that you're already on your way there. Either way, you can’t seem to get there quick enough. Your movements turn hasty the second you get to the top step, hands clutching on the only thing available—your bulging belly. You’re looking down despite the fact that you can’t even see your feet.

Leaning forward slightly, you try to shift your stomach to the side to see your next step. You step down and feel your bare foot make contact with the slippery wood. Your toes press into its surface to ground you as you take your next step. You wobble when you get to the last step, and sigh in relief when you feel the cold, wet sand spill between your toes. 

After wasting no time and doing what you came to do, you quickly make your way back to the marui. The tips of your ears and tails are just going numb from how cold it is and the night dew is beginning to form. You get to the bottom step, fixing your shawl so that it’s out the way. You make your way up the first, second and third step, but when you get to the fourth your shawl falls forward. 

And so do you. 

A blood curdling shriek rips from your throat when you feel your feet give out beneath you. Your hands splay out to grab onto whatever’s around you to break your fall but before you know it you're tumbling back down the stairs at a frightening rate. You keep on your side as best you can, landing into the sand with a muffled thump. 

“Fuck. Shit—oh, great mother—” You mutter as you hyperventilate, clutching your stomach as you wait for your son to kick—to show you some sign of life. Your eyes well with tears as you rub your bump vigorously. Your heart is slamming violenting against your rib cage, so hard you can hear it over the ringing in your ears. “Please, please, please.” 

…but nothing. 

“Y/n?!” You hear Ralaks worried voice boom behind you, then his hurried footsteps down the stairs. 

Maybe it’s his fathers voice, but your unborn son gives you one of the biggest kicks yet. You sob out a laugh, rubbing your stomach as relief flows through your body. You take a few deep breaths through your mouth to calm down, feeling another reassuring kick. 

“Y/n. Y/n.” Ralak chants your name, eyes rapidly darting side to side to assess you as he kneels beside you. Concern’s etched deeply into his features as he lifts your arms and legs, searching for injuries. 

“I’m alright. I’m alright.” You repeat urgently, but he continues to look, even taking off your shawl. His eyes are wide and he seems to be in some level of shock, especially after coming straight out of a deep sleep. “Ralak. Really. I’m fine. We’re okay.” 

Ralaks features soften at your two final words. His stare falls to your swollen belly, hands taking the place of yours as he waits. After a few seconds of stillness, his eyes snap up to yours—refilling with worry. He begins to shake his head, and you reassure him with a hand to his face. 

“Talk to him.” You whisper with trembling lungs. Ralak looks back down to your stomach.

“Maitan [My son].” Your mate says in a low, steady voice, ensuring not to allow even a hint of fright slip through. Just then, he feels a little nudge against the palm of his hand. Ralaks gaze snaps up to you and his expression relaxes, hands rubbing your belly gently. “How did this happen, tanhì?”

“I…needed to pee.” You say shamefully, avoiding eye contact. “…and I tripped going up the steps.” You glance up at him to see what you perceive to be a face of disappointment. “I’m sorry. I know, I’m so stupid.” 

“No. Do not say that.” He interjects, tensing his jaw. “...you are heavy with child—why did you not wake me?” 

“You were so, so tired. You needed to rest, and I did not want to disturb you.” You turn to your side to get up, wincing when a sharp pain shoots down your back. 

“Careful.” He clears his throat, stopping you from trying to get up on your own. He watches your contorted face relax, but the heart wrenching guilt just gets worse. “You should have. Wake me for anything.” He says sternly, snaking his arms underneath you to lift you up. “Everything.”

“You really don’t have to—” Ralak continues, scooping you in his arms and holding you close to his chest. “I can walk. I’m all right, Ralak.”

You try to reassure him, shuffling in his arms to get down. But he only muffles out a sigh, glancing down at you with downturned brows and droopy ears. He then walks away from the marui stairs, to the direction of the water. 

“Where are we going?” You ask quickly when you realise that you’re walking away from home. Ralak clicks for his tsurak, taking his time as he mounts it with you tucked to his chest. “Ralak.” 

“To tsahìk.” He states, making the bond with his beast.

“Ronal?” You sound almost panicked as the idea of everyone knowing you fell up the stairs clouds your mind. It’s almost mortifying to think about. “We don’t need to do that, it’s really late too, and—”

Commanding his beast to go, you both take off at full speed. It doesn’t take long to arrive at the tsahìk’s healing pod. Many healers gather at the door when they hear the sound of Ralak’s low pitched call. And they rush out to meet him as he carries you towards them in a hurried manner. They usher you in, hushed murmurs growing louder and clearer as they bring you to Ronal. 

You didn’t even notice the burning pain in your lower back until you were about half way here. 

The Tsahìk stands upon your entrance, her crystal blue eyes widening when she sees Ralak with you in his arms. You wince as he lays you down where the healers instruct him to. She strides over to a woven basket filled with an array of herbs and needle-like wooden sticks, and quickly props it on her hip—just out of the way of her own bump. She settles herself beside you, feeling your stomach as she channels Eywa. 

Ronal throws a look to Ralak, whose hands are on his hips as he waits patiently for the verdict. 

“She fell.” He says, only for Ronal to cock an eyebrow. “Stairs.” He finishes. Then both her eyebrows raise, and she reaches for a jar of a ground up, purplish herb. She pours half of it into a wooden bowl, and activates it with a few drops of water from the spirit tree. 

“Baby is strong. Very strong.” The Tsahìk announces, and both you and Ralak heave a loud sigh of relief. “But—” Ronal props your legs up on the makeshift table, spreading them slightly. Embarrassment flushes your cheeks as you look over to Ralak. “You are still at risk.”

Ralak moves closer to you, taking your hand in his to keep you calm. You both watch as Ronal rolls the fabric tightly into a small cylindrical shape. You swallow your spit when you realise exactly where that’s going. 

“This ensures he stays. It will also help with the pain.” She states, glancing at Ralak to see the glare he’s trying to hold back. She shakes her head slightly and hands you the precautionary apparatus. “Insert. Rest…and remove at sunrise.” Ronal continues, drawing back the curtain to give you some privacy. 

“Sunrise?” You whisper to yourself as you watch her step out.

Your eyes dart up to Ralak who is clearly concerned, staring down at you with worry in his eyes. Embarrassment heats up your cheeks and your nerves fray. Why are you so shy all of a sudden? He’s your mate. Your husband. 

You sit up a bit more and try to see over your stomach to get the task done with shaky hands. You fumble and struggle with the flimsy cloth, blindly doing your best. But each time you lean forward the pain in your back burns hotter.

Ralak’s supporting you with a hand on your upper back, patiently waiting for you, noticing your trembling fingers and little grunts. He uses his free hand to cup yours, stilling your hurried movements.

“Mawey [calm]. Breathe.” He hums, gently taking it from you and helping you lay down. 

You look him in the eyes as he inserts it carefully, wincing when the concoction stings a bit. Ralak gives your hand a light squeeze, speaking as if he had access to your thoughts. You nod, trying to smile through the burning sensation, but he picks up on your discomfort. 

“What is it? Is it your back?" His voice quavers with worry.

“No… just burns a little.” You say quietly. You watch his jaw flutter and his shoulders droop as he huffs out a sigh. “Not to worry. It’s going away now.” 

As he’s about to speak, the curtain is drawn to the side and Ronal comes in and stands at the arched entrance, hand on her hip. Ralak averts his attention to her, his eyes glancing down at her unborn moving in her belly. Although you were both six months pregnant, you were noticeably bigger than her. 

“A word.” Her serious tone of voice brings him out of deep thought, and her nudging head tells him that it’s something urgent. 

Ralak looks at you, not wanting to leave you alone but you smile and reassure him with a light nod. He clenches his jaw but you give him a gentle push towards Ronal. He squeezes your hand before letting go and leans in to plant a firm kiss on your forehead. You watch as he leaves, laying back and taking in the ripples in the curtain as you strain to hear their hushed conversation. 

“Ronal. Oe irayo si ngaru. [Thank you]” Ralak begins, bowing before the shorter na’vi.

“I worry for your mate.” Ronal cuts to the chase, using her hand to guide him further away from the curtain. 

“For what reason?” He asks, keeping his head hung to hear what she has to say. They walk until they’re nearly at the entrance of the healing pod. 

“Your son is fast growing.” She speaks calmly but quickly.

Ralak is a little puzzled, although he doesn’t show it. Is that such a bad thing? He continues to look down at her with the same expression, listening intently to what the tsahìk speaks of.

“Her body will struggle. Birth will be hard. Very long and painful.” Now Ralak is having a hard time keeping his emotions concealed as they chisel themselves into his features. Yet he remains silent. “You must warn her about mun’i [the cut].”

“Pxasìk [no way/fuck that]” Ralak curses through a hiss in his native tongue as he stands at full height, figuratively and literally taken aback. How dare she call that upon his mate? Ronal returns a low hiss as Ralak moves away from her, staring down at her with a mixture of emotions. 

Concern. Surprise. Fear. 

Mun’i [the cut] is rare and risky. Only three have been performed since the birth of this clan, all done in desperation when hope was gone. The last one was performed by Ronal's mother herself. It is an extremely invasive procedure where the mother is cut and the infant is removed. It’s only done in dire situations, where the mother is incapable of giving birth to their young naturally, and risks dying in the process.

Ralak can’t help but feel a burning anger amongst the sea of emotions flooding him at once. How could she suggest such a thing to him? Something so dangerous and grave? All because you will give birth to ‘a different kind’. He’s more than confident that you’re capable of this, despite the murmurs circulating the clan. 

He has always been aware of Ronal's perception of you, and her opinion about the mating. It was no secret, though she never outwardly told Ralak as he is like a son to her. She often insisted that you two were not compatible in more ways than one, and always saw you as the forest girl who needed special training. But to know that Ronal doubts your capabilities to give life ignites a flame in his chest. 

One that he must quickly put out. 

“Ralak!” 

He hears you call out for him, prompting him to quell the flame and shoot Ronal a glare of displeasure. “She is stronger than you know.” Ralak speaks through his teeth before turning his heel to tend to you. 

Heart pounding, he makes his way through the curtain to be met with the joyous sight of you cradling your stomach with a smile plastered to your face. That only further calms the flicker of the flame in his chest, making a smile tug at his lips. He sees you glance up at him, pearly teeth glistening in the luminosity of the night. 

“Sorry if I startled you, it’s just—he’s kicking so hard. Come, come feel!” You blubber excitedly, reaching out for his hand to place it on your belly. He slowly takes a knee, staying still as stone to soak up each movement. “He is so strong, Ralak. Like you.” You whisper, looking down at your mate doting on your bump. 

Though he should be proud of your words, he can’t help but feel a little nervous by them. If this child is really like him, then what Ronal said may have some truth to it. Yet he smiles, smoothing his thumb over your protruding belly button. 

“He is strong like his sa’nu [mummy].” He says softly, perhaps in attempts to reassure himself and calm his own nerves. Your smile only grows and you place your hand on top of his. 

“What did Ronal say?” Ralaks eyes snap up to yours, wide and almost panicked, wiping the smile off your face instantly. “Oh, no. Is it bad? Is something wrong?” 

“No, no. She says…” He drops his head, watching his unborn move as he contemplates telling you. You need rest, and this would further stress your mind and body. Ralak urges himself to smile—to create a new mask—one of feigned happiness. “…you must rest. Wait until sunrise.” 

“Oh, okay.” You exhale a sigh of relief, “Good. I—I can do that.” 

—— 

After such an eventful night, sleep found you easily. Ralak carried you up the marui stairs, tucked you into bed and watched as your eyes fluttered shut. And even so, he remained at your side for some time, ensuring you were deep in sleep before embarking on his new task. 

It began with a ‘quick’ trip inland for the right kind of wood. The kind that holds up well against the elements and the saltiness of the water. The kind that doesn’t have a slip to it when it's been wet for more than a few hours. It took a few trips to get it all back to the beach but it was more of an irritable task than a difficult one.

Ralak tried to keep as quiet as possible, spending the rest of the night—until sunrise—cutting and carving the wood, binding them together with twine, sap and wooden pins. And by the time the first few rays of sunlight beamed in, he was engraving his finishing touches. 

—

Ralak chucks down the tool and it lands into the sand with a muffled thud. Using the back of his strake to wipe his forehead clean of sweat, he looks up at his work for a final time—railings for the marui stairs. Then the bright ray of sun shines before his eyes, standing between his two new creations. 

You.

You’re surprised to see him out this early, still in his gear from last night. The realisation dawns on you that he’s been up all night, doing this. You can actually feel your chest warm up as your heart pumps the blood through your veins at an insane rate. It rushes to your cheeks, making them hot and flushed. 

“Is this what you’ve been doing all night?” You ask the question under your breath, dragging a hand along the railing. It’s smooth under the pads of your fingers, and warm to the touch, as if they’ve just been filed down. You notice a small carving on the side of the railing—your son’s initial.

R. 

“Mm.” He grunts, not that he could have slept anyways. He glances at the initial that you’re staring at. “I should have done it long ago.” The shame in his voice is loud and clear. You look down at your feet, unsure of what to say, noticing that he’s redone the steps too. 

“Ralak—”

“You must still wake me. Understand?” He cuts you off, already knowing what you’re about to say. 

You take a step down, holding tightly onto the railing with one hand and the other tucked under your bump. He rushes up the stairs and supports you by the arm. You lean into him for a hug, nuzzling your face into his chest. “… thank you, my love.” 

“Kea tìkin [no need (for thanks)].” He presses his lips onto the crown of your head, words muffled by your hair. His hand slips down your arm and rests on your lower back. “Still feeling pain?” 

“No. I feel good. Like new.” You smile, watching his features soften and his lips pull into a subtle smile. “Your son, too. He kicked me all night.” 

“Is that so, young one?” He leans down to speak to your belly as you watch intently, “you must be gentle with your sa’nu [mummy].” 

As he looks back up to you, your eyes follow his every move. And suddenly it’s just the two of you, before the orange glow of the sunrise, sharing this intimate gaze with one another. 

“Ralak… I see you.” You say softly, witnessing his pupils blow until there’s nothing but thin rings of blue.

He swallows, you see the lump in his throat undulate, and the balls of his cheeks stain a light pink. He blinks a few times, leaning in until his lips brush against yours. He lingers there for a bit, jaw fluttering as he grits his teeth a few times. He can’t help but feel a pang in his chest. 

How could he keep this from you?

“Oel ngat kame, ma’ muntxate.” He husks the words before locking his lips with yours.

But as he pulls away, you see the glint in his eye. When he sees your lowered brows and inquisitive eyes, he attempts to fix his mask of indifference—no, happiness. But you see right through it—

The glint of guilt. 

“What is it?” You ask, reaching behind him for his kuru. It’s your way of saying, 'no secrets'. He’s quiet. Uncomfortably quiet. Unsure of how to say what he should say. You urge him with a light tug to his queue, creating a little more distance between you to look him dead in the eye. “Ralak.”

“Ronal doubts…you.” He says plainly, trying hard to rid himself of the thought of childbirth taking you away from him.

“I don’t understand. What—what does that mean?” You ask, confused and worried. 

“I should have told you about it when you asked.” Ralak says, shaking his head. “But…you were already under so much stress. In pain. Our son—” 

“Ralak. Tell me about what?” You whisper quietly—quickly. Ralak looks at you, allowing a few seconds of silence to pass before he speaks. 

“Mun’i [the cut].” Ralak’s voice cracks with pain as the dreaded thought floods his mind. 

Ralak goes on to explain mun'i, giving you a brief lesson on its history and typical…outcome. He explains why Ronal urged him to warn you about it. And exactly what he told her in return. That he is confident that you are more capable of doing this. 

It ends with a comforting embrace and the both of you coming to the conclusion that a conservation with Jake is needed. If the cut were to happen, the sky people’s medical advancements would be…useful. 

——

Since then, Ralak adapted a very strict agenda when it came to the preparation of the birth. In some ways, it reminded you of the beginning of your relationship with him as teacher and student. Karyu and Numeyu. A revision of previous lessons, such as breathing lessons. 

—

“Deeper breaths, tanhì. Slow.” Ralak instructs you with his hand on your round belly. 

“It’s hard…” your voice is strained, “when his feet are in my lungs.” 

Ralak chuckles, nodding in understanding. “Right. Do your best.” 

You attempt to follow his demonstration a fifth time, inhaling deeply through your nose, holding it, and then slowly letting it out through your mouth. “Light headed now.”

“You did well.” Ralak praises you, snaking an arm around you as he lowers you onto your back. “You all right?” 

“Just fine.” You mutter, grateful for the new position. 

Ralak looks at you for a while, taking in a sight that may be similar to the one of you giving birth—giving life. The reality that you will soon be a family quickly dawns on him. The reality that… Ronal's words still weigh heavy on his heart.

“And when you bear down…” Ralak pulls your leg back, your knee now grazing against your cheek as they flush with embarrassment. “…shallow, fast breaths. Do not hold it.” 

He then demonstrates, emphasising the sound of the breathing technique to ensure you’re doing it properly.

'…hee—hee—hoo…'

You mimic his sounds, looking down to see nothing but your protruding bump. It may be strange to some that Ralak is teaching you a lesson on something such as childbirth. But with his mother-figure being the tsahìk, there were just certain things he grew to have knowledge of. 

“Ronal says there are times where it is best to allow your body to take over. Focus on breathing him out. Let your body do the work for you…” You nod slowly as you practice deep breathing in this new position, “…she will show you some positions in your lesson tomorrow.” 

"What?" Your ears perk up. For some reason one on one interactions with Ronal always make you nervous. 

“The other expecting women of the clan will be there.” 

Your ears relax, and you feel a little more at ease knowing you won’t be alone, even if it’s a sea of gossiping women. At least they were more discreet about it. 

——

As you neared the final months of your pregnancy, Ralak was called out more frequently. The aches and pains that came along with being so big were just as frequent, it seemed. They’d hit you at the strangest times, during your sleep or whilst on your tsurak.

But when the pain spread to your abdomen is when Ralak urged you to take things easy. But they didn’t stop him from going anywhere. No matter how badly he wanted to stay home and tend to you. It was more complicated than that. Something that you were blissfully unaware of. Something he wanted to keep that way until it was the right time to tell you. 

—

“Must you go?” You ask hopefully, tugging at his bicep. “You just got back.” 

“Tono will have my head, tahnì.” He states, buckling his chest gear yet another time for today. 

“It’s not fair. Not even the warriors back at home tree were called out so much. Especially if their mate was this far along.” You huff, letting go off his bicep to clutch your protruding belly. He cups a hand over yours, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“Ah. I know, I know. I want to stay, I do—” He’s cut off by your sudden gasp, and your face screwing with discomfort. “Are you alright?” His voice turns fills with concern, head tilting even more so that he can look you in the face. It felt as if your back set ablaze and your stomach hardened into rock. It eases up within a few seconds and you take a quick breath before answering. 

“Yeah, I think so.” You feel around your bump, taking note of how it’s softened and back to normal. “…that’s the second one today.” 

“Hm. It is. See Ronal while I am gone.” Ralak insists, tucking a couple loose braids behind your ear. You nod in response, gritting your teeth from the reminder that he’s leaving again. “I will speak with Tonowari today.” 

He’s quick to kiss you, lingering longer than he should. You savor his tender touch, breathing him in until you’ve gotten your fill to last you until he’s back. He pulls away, a grimace fixed to his face as it’s almost painful to do. He rubs your belly a final time, clicking for his beast. Reluctantly, he leaves, and so do you.

—

‘Practice Contractions.’

Ronal’s diagnosis of your pains. 

You’re not entirely unfamiliar with the concept. Mom calls them something different, but it all means the same thing at the end of the day. The body’s way of preparing to give birth. The constriction of your stomach, accompanied by intense pain, at random times with no rhythm. 

It’s normal, and expected. Ronal was particularly pleased to see your body do this early in your pregnancy. It typically occurs a couple weeks prior to birth, and both of you weren’t due for another month. 

They’re nothing to worry about, but she advises to rest if they get too intense. You waddle home with your tail dragging behind you, unhappy to see no sign of your mates return. 

—

“You are late.” Tonowari speaks monotonously, back turned to Ralak as he keeps his eyes on his task—forging a new tool. Ralak has to swallow his frustration and maintain his confidence. 

“It will happen soon.” He responds in a similar tone, his eyes following as the olo’eyktan stands. “I must be with her.”

“I understand. I do. But—” Tonowari finishes up the last touches, giving the tool its final inspection. “This is your duty, son.”

“She, is my duty.” Ralak snaps, his frustration slipping through. 

Feeling challenged, Tonowari turns to face him, now eye level with Ralak as he slowly nears his subordinate—chest to chest. But with a pregnant mate of his own, and the fact that Ralak is like his own son, Tonowari huffs a sigh and gives this a pass.  

“This is for her, too. For the people of the clan. You know what we are about to face. You will do this.” The olo’eyktan states sternly. “When the horn sounds… you come. And that…” he shoves the tool into Ralak’s chest, “…is an order.” 

Holding the tool against his own chest, Ralak looks away from Tonowari, grinding his back teeth hard enough to file them flat. He breathes heavily, attempting to recenter himself and stamp out the flame flickering in his chest. Tonowari gives him space, going ahead and mounting his skimwing, readying himself to embark on their journey. Whilst Ralak is left behind to let out a sluggish, shaky breath, closing his eyes when it dawns on him...

…what he must do, where he must go and who he must see. 

All before coming home this evening. 

—

“Zu’té.”

Ralak calls his name outside of the secluded, dim marui pod. It’s familiar, yet so unknown. It’s an eerie feeling to be standing here. It’s as if no one’s home. Not a single flame burning, nor the residual heat of a smothered fire pit. But Ralak can sense his presence. It’s thick. Aggressive. Just as it’s always been. It’s only intensified since the incident. 

The silence is deafening now. A message loud enough to have Ralak reconsidering his actions—rethinking his feelings. No part of him really desired to ask anything of this man, much less this. But in the case Tonowari really doesn’t budge with his decision, it is something he must do. No matter how many years have passed. Ralak has moved on…come to terms with what’s happened, and is in a much better place in his life now. Because of you.

You.

He’s doing this for you. Or is he? The fact he’s fathered a child has a major influence on his decision to be standing here to begin with… perhaps it’s something within him driven by nature—by instinct. The further you’ve progressed, the more he’s thought about rekindling this relationship. But he always brushed off these passing thoughts, until they were no longer just thoughts that passed. They became thoughts that lingered and kept him awake some nights. 

Showing their faces the most when Tonowari reminds him of the imminent danger the clan may face.

They reminded him of the good times when they were children. Teasing the ilus when no one was looking, sneaking off to the reef where the adults went to hunt just to see what it was like. But it also reminded him of the more unfortunate moments they shared. Those that will forever leave a scar on their souls, branded by pain and suffering. Since then, Ralak took an oath to never allow his own family to suffer the way he did. 

If this is what he must do, he’ll do it.

“I am in need of a favour.” Ralak finally admits, witnessing a tall, thick silhouette emerge from the marui. 

At this angle, its darkness looms over Ralak ominously. Green glowing eyes peer down at Ralak as the figure's hands cross defensively over his chest. He steps out of the darkness, revealing his inked face and intricately up-kept hair. He looks as if he’s been disturbed or rudely interrupted, evident in the way his eyes pierce fearlessly into Ralak. But Ralak simply returns the leer. 

“Zu’té.” Ralak speaks his name again, a little more sternly this time.

“Brother. To what do I owe this visit?” His tone is sarcastic with undertones of hostility. 

Ralak sighs, turning his head away from his older brother, fixating his gaze elsewhere. His jawbone flutters as he struggles to figure out what words to string together next. This isn’t easy for him—being here with his tail tucked between his legs. 

“It is no way easy for me to ask you of this…I know we have not spoken for some time.”

“Really? You think so? I would say it has been a little more than ‘some time’, no?” Zu’té’s irritation is shining through now.

“Agreed.” Ralak speaks sharply, dropping his head, gaze piercing into his own feet. He swallows and sighs once more, finally lifting his head to look his brother in the face. "I need your help, brother."

“Hm.” Zu’té scoffs, meeting his stare flagrantly. “Let me get this right. You come here, wake me out my sleep, speak to me like this for the first time in over forty-eight seasons…and demand my help?”  

“You are the only one I trust with this.” Ralak grinds out the words, they are hard to admit. 

This quietens Zu’té, causing his features to soften and his fixed stare to falter. To hear this after twelve years, straight from his brother’s mouth has him a little taken aback. There’s only one thing that it could mean—that could bring the golden child before him, begging for a favour. 

War. 

“What does our ‘mighty’ olo’eyktan have you up to now, baby brother?” Zu’té’s tone is especially sardonic when speaking of their father-figure. 

“Plenty.” Ralak chuckles quietly, shaking his head in amusement. His curved lips fade into a thin line, returning his grim expression when he’s reminded yet again of his exact reason for being here. “Look…” Ralak exhales, “...it is nowhere likeable for me to show my face like this. Trust me, I have thought of every possible solution. But…" he shakes his head, hesitant to share what he must say next. "My mate...she is pregnant."

Zu’té’ sighs when he realizes the gravity of the situation, eyes narrowing as they look behind Ralak to scan his surroundings. He’s far from all of the neighbouring marui pods, being the last pod along the mangroves. But if someone were nearby, they could eavesdrop with ease.

Zu’té lightly nudges his head, giving Ralak the silent signal to enter his marui. Ralak moves slowly, a little surprised by his change in...heart. Annoyed with Ralak's sluggish movement, Zu’té rolls his eyes.

“What? You expect an invitation?" Zu’té asks the rhetorical question loud and clear, watching in awe as his not-so-little brother stands almost eye to eye with him. "...you've grown."

"Surprised?" Ralak mutters, ears spasming from his brother's comment—shuffling past him.

"Don't get smart with me, little brother." Zu’té snaps with his ears pinned to his skull, automatically slipping back into disciplining his younger brother like he once used to. Ralak fights the smirk pulling at his lips, making his way further into the neat, well-decorated marui.

——

Ralak came home that night, as he does most nights nowadays with a heavy tail and tensed muscles. That night he broke the news that he had no luck with Tonowari. That he remained tied to his duties as a warrior, teacher, hunter and evidently more…that you had no knowledge of. 

But he made it clear that none of them came before you—his most important duty of all. He promised not only to your father, but also to you, to put you first, no matter what. That he will do whatever he needs to ensure your safety is never compromised. Even if it means putting his pride aside, and asking for help, as he did that night. 

The desire to prepare for your son's arrival grew with each passing day, making you nest like an expecting ikran. You smoked enough meat to last for the next couple months, and gathered as many herbs and fruits that you could manage.

Weaving has been one of your more frequent tasks, making a couple slings and a few more blankets. Ralak was quick to build the cot when he got into a nesting frenzy, too.

But regardless of what your next task was, it was always a little bit harder…a little bit more tiring. Until you were so round and heavy that most of them became unachievable. Your size started to affect you in more ways than just physical. It started to affect you mentally, too. Playing tricks on your mind, making you think negatively about yourself.

And Ralak picked up on that very quickly. 

——

As you wait for his return, you give the marui another deep clean. You take small breaks often, sitting down whenever you become short of breath.

Whilst you sweep the patio, you see your mate trudge up the stairs, ears pinned back and exhaustion wrinkled into his forehead. Ralak sees you and wastes no time to take the broom from you and pull you into his chest. 

He holds you in silence. Comfortable silence. Savouring how you feel against his body. The thud of your heartbeat, the warmth of your skin. You’re his safe place. His home. As he is yours. His embrace is what you look forward to the most after a long day apart. 

Perhaps this is what you both need. A moment of peace and quiet, where your focus is purely on the person in front of you. A break from the mayhem that life can entail, from the pull and push of the rough tides. Serenity. All to be interrupted by Ralak pulling away, holding you by the arms to create some distance between you two. 

Furrowed brows and beaded eyes stare back at you when you look at him. He’s staring at you, but not at you. His eyes pierce into your chest, and then peel away to flick down at his stomach. A smile creeps on his face, and a huff of air through his nostrils as he chuckles softly. His gaze finally meets yours, and he lets go of your arms.

“Your milk is in.” He almost whispers, his fingertips grazing against your stomach. 

“What?” You breathe, caught off guard to say the least. Your head snaps down, eyes searching every inch of your shawl to find two large, growing wet spots on it. “O-Oh.” You stutter, looking back up at him, catching sight of the glistening liquid on his stomach. “Oh.” 

Your cheeks grow hot when blood rushes to them from embarrassment. Just another thing pregnancy has bestowed upon you. “Sorry, Lak.” You turn to reach for the nearby cloth that hangs by the window. 

“What for?” He asks innocently—a little confused. 

He watches as you wipe him down in an almost frantic manner. He stills your movements by grasping your wrists, causing you to drop the cloth. He brings your hands to his lips.

“Mawey [Calm]. Nothing to be ashamed of.” He speaks into the palm of your hands. You hear his words, but you still can’t bring yourself to look at him. “Hey.” 

He lets go, and cups your cheek, urging you to look at him. When you finally do, he’s smiling down at you, allowing his hand to slip down to the bow of your shoulder—his fingers hooking underneath the hem of your shawl. “Let me clean you up, hm?” 

“Oh—okay.” You stutter shyly, feeling his fingers slip under the woven fabric to slip it off your shoulders. “W-Wait.”

And when the material hits the floor, a shiver shakes your spine. Your breasts are exposed to the cool air, sticky nipples hardened into peaks for him to see. They’ve darkened in colour, and are even a little more puffy too.

Honestly, you weren’t the biggest fan of them anymore. You wore thicker tops or shawls to conceal them, just as you did your stomach with your new…stripes. But Ralak loves them, always stealing a glance at every given chance. 

But to know that they’re full with milk makes him feel…on edge. 

His eyes bore into them, unapologetically taking in every detail. His smile falls into a slight smirk, which then droops into a thin line. His jaw flutters as he grits his teeth, biting back his urges. 

“Don’t stare.” You whisper shyly, covering your chest with one arm and your belly with the other. He looks at you, and reaches for your arms, peeling them away from your body. 

“Beautiful.” He states as a fact, intertwining his fingers with yours. “So beautiful, carrying my child.” 

“‘m really not.” You mumble, looking away in shame. You feel his hand move to your face, two fingers tugging at your jaw to have you look up at him. When you finally give in to his nudges, you see the look on his face. It was as if you had deeply and personally offended him.

“You are.” He insists softly. 

You simply shake your head, arms instinctively wrapping around your chest and belly once more. “I don’t feel it. I don’t even know how you can look at me and say that.” 

Ralak almost feels angered by your words. It hurts him to hear you speak of yourself in such a way, especially when it’s far from the truth. If anything, he’s even more attracted to you. Knowing that this is what your body is going through to bring his child into the world has made him even more appreciative of you. 

“Never say such things.” He husks firmly, removing your hands from your body and keeping them in his grasp. “Do not hide.” 

“You have barely touched me.” You retaliate, voice cracking with hurt. 

“Not for that reason.” He’s quick to cut you short, making sure you know that the last thing stopping him from pouncing on you every chance he gets is the way you look. Absolutely not. 

“If that’s what you need to tell yourself, then—”

Frustrated, Ralak shoves your hand onto his loincloth, pressing it firmly against the bulge that strains against the material. “You feel that?” 

You do, you feel every inch of it, hard and warm against your palm. Your face heats up even more, cheeks staining a bright red. Your breath turns raggedy as you struggle to find the words to say. 

“Hm?” He grunts as he presses himself even harder against the palm of your hand. 

“Y-Yes.” You stutter. Ralak turns you around, pressing himself into you from behind. His heated lips are flush against your ear, hot breath prickling your skin. 

“This is what you do to me.” Ralak husks into the shell of your ear, grinding his bulge into the swell of your ass. “Day after day.” He groans almost painfully, filled with all sorts of emotions. He holds you firm against his body, grazing his bottom teeth against the lobe of your ear. “All it takes is a single glance.” His words have your clit pulsing under your tewng and your thighs rubbing against one another. “The sight of you…of your swollen breasts… your swollen womb…” he hisses, on edge and high strung as he caresses your belly, “…it makes me lose myself.” 

“Fuck.” You breathe, reaching behind you to tug his loincloth down in a frantic manner. You feel his lips nibble and nip at the skin behind your ear, making their way down the back of your neck. You can’t help but moan from the feeling, your already stiff nipples tingling from his gentle touches. 

You feel his hands wander over your stomach and under your tewng, his fingers fondling your folds as he gently parts them. He grunts against your neck, inhaling your scent deep in his lungs as his hips stutter into you. Your stickiness coats his fingers as they slip and slide over your hardened nub. 

You tug even harder at his loincloth, struggling to get the annoying thing off him. You let out a frustrated grunt, and he lets loose an amused chuckle, peppering soft kisses down to the bow of your shoulder.

“What is it? Need me to take you right here?” He husks low, voice muffled by his continuous kisses. “…where someone may see?” 

Right, you’re on the patio. 

Out in the open, under the light of the moon. Ralaks marui pod is far from the village on a cul de sac. The only thing further than here is sand, open water and a couple smaller islands off in the distance. However, there' is's always the slim chance of a na’vi or two going for a late night swim or on a romantic adventure far from the village.

But you simply didn’t care. 

If anything it only riles you up more—the riskiness of it all, the thought of being caught. The need to be sneaky and quiet, when all you want to do is moan his name until your voice goes dim. It seems that Ralak feels similarly as you feel him throb against you, excited to take you where you stand. 

“I don’t mind.” You huff shakily, finally tugging the cloth down enough for his cock to spring out. “Do you?” 

You feel him smile against your shoulder when you grip it in your hand, smooth teeth bumping into your skin as his free hand cups your full breast. 

“Not at all, my tanhì.” He breathes, gently kneading the soft flesh, feeling the trickle of your milk flow over the back of his hand. 

“Good.” Your lungs tremble beneath his touch, hand desperately stroking his length. Yet he remains gentle with his touches, pinning your clit between his two fingers as he rubs you slowly. “Then hurry…I need you inside.” 

Ralak quickly moves his kisses back up your neck, and you feel the tip of his tongue tickle the lobe of your ear before he suckles on it lightly. Tingles ripple up your spine, sending your head into a shiver as you lean into his mouth. His fingers dip into your soaking core just as he rolls your tender nipple between his other two digits. 

It’s all too much. All-consuming. Making you gasp for air in lungs that won’t seem to fill. Fog clouds your head. How did you get here? How did this happen? Fuck, it doesn’t matter. Not when you feel like this.

You’re already so sensitive as it is, so tender and delicate, like silk under his fingers. He pushes his two fingers even deeper inside your aching pussy, curling them and earning a whimper from your lips and quiver of your tail.

“Not too loud, oeyä sevin muntxate [my pretty/beautiful wife]”. Ralak whispers the hushed praise, knowing it’s what you need to hear. 

You’re so much warmer around his fingers than usual, so much softer. Wetter. With each curl of his digits comes out a squelch as he works you open for his cock that he’s been dying to plunge inside you. 

You wrap your leg around his, perching your heel on the side of thigh as you lean all your weight back into him. He steadies his knees, supporting you with ease. Your head slumps back into his shoulder, opening up your neck to his hot breaths, an arm reaching behind you to fist his hair. 

His brows are tense and his breath is heavy. He’s overcome with arousal and he can’t keep his composure as your scent grows stronger now your throat is directly under his nose. Truthfully it’s been too long, he knows that. He knows he’s been too protective, too cautious. Depriving you and him of the touch that’s necessary between a mated pair. 

His fingers slip out of you, now expertly unravelling the loose knot just barely keeping your tewng on you. As it drops to the floor his fingers are back where they were, rubbing sloppy circles into your clit before spreading your pussylips apart. His hips stutter as he attempts to align the crown of his cock with your slit and finally buck forward when he senses your little, exposed hole. 

His cock sinks inside you at an achingly slow pace—inch by inch. You let loose a lengthy moan when you feel him fill you completely, no longer caring if anyone hears you. 

“Hnng—I missed you.” The gruff words slip out as he bottoms out inside your cunt. He has longed to feel your gummy walls squeeze oh-so tightly around his cock. “You alright?” He checks on you in a daze, voice thick with want—with the desire to pummel your little pussy until your voice is hoarse. But the last thing he wants is to hurt his heavily pregnant mate. 

“Mhm, ple-ase.” You purr with need, closing your eyes and relaxing completely into him. Trusting someone this much feels too good. Ralak moves slowly, pumping his cock in and out of you in a languid haze, tickling your sensitive clit with just the tips of his fingers. 

“Tanhì—haah—you are squeezing me so tight.” Ralak moans as his strokes grow with intent. His hips roll deep, shoving and forcing his cock inside your sensitive cunt until his swollen balls kiss your clit. 

He’s unapologetically coaxing out the orgasm you’ve been denied for so long with only a few lazy thrusts. And he knows it. He can feel it from the way you clench around him. From the way your thighs tremble a little more after each deep stroke…from the sweet, filthy noises that shamelessly drip from your lips. 

“Oh my—Ralak! I-I’m gonna—” You sputter the words between choked sounds, eyes welling with tears from the burn between your legs. 

“I know, I know.” He huffs, dragging his hot tongue along the length of your throat. The truth is, he’s close too. But he can’t allow himself to finish inside you. He can’t risk letting himself go and pounding recklessly into your poor, tender pussy. He’s already had a long day. “Let it out, tìyawn [love].”

Its almost cathartic. 

Weeks of pent up frustration released in a few minutes, leaving you near convulsing in his grip. You can’t stop the flutter of your pussy walls if you try, it’s out of your control, much like the surge of white fire going right through you. Your legs fight to stay open and you hold onto your mate to keep you standing. Gurgled noises spill from your lips as your body shudders under him. His hips still, keeping his cock buried to the hilt inside your quivering cunt as he holds you tight, supporting you until you finish riding out your high. 

“Good girl. Good girl.” He praises you in a hushed, shaky voice, extremely wound up from feeling you flourish so beautifully under his touch. It's a miracle that he didn't empty himself inside you right then and there. 

“But you—but you haven’t—” You sputter, collapsing into him as your legs give out. 

“I know. It is alright..” He hums, carefully leading you inside the marui to lay you on the bed. 

“Thought you were c-cleaning me u-up. Not mak-king m-more of a mess.” Your breath is relentlessly hitching as you watch him hastily remove his tewng that’s been digging into his thighs. A reminder of exactly how quickly things happened. 

“You are right.” Ralak tsks, cocking a brow as he stares down at you with a predatory leer. “I did say that, didn’t I?” 

Ralak situates himself between your legs, crouching over you, ensuring there’s plenty of space between him and your stomach. His cock presses between your sticky folds as his lips press against your clammy neck. He tastes the faint saltiness of the thin film of sweat on your skin as he drags his lips down your chest—between your breasts. 

“Lak…” You whisper, back bowing against the bed. 

You’re way too sensitive right now, like an exposed nerve. His eyes snap up and lock with yours, responding to you moaning his name. His tongue darts out, sampling a taste of the spilled milk on your breast. Then his eyes slam shut, tensed brows and scrunched nose telling you that he’s unsure of the flavour in his mouth. 

Eyes widening, you’re taken aback by his actions, feelings of shyness and embarrassment creeping back in. Fisting his hair, you pull gently at his head to pry him off your chest, only for him to resist your tugs. 

“You shouldn’t have done—why’d you do—” You struggle to find the right words at this moment, flustered and nervous that he’d do that. 

But what leaves you even more speechless is when he opens his eyes to reveal dots for pupils, a look you only see when he’s high strung. And then he eagerly takes your nipple into his mouth, latching on and ensuring the suction is airtight. The tip of his tongue flicks at your hardened nipple a few times before he gently suckles at your breast.

A tingling sensation radiates your chest and you feel it in the pit of your stomach. Your breath catches in your throat, a little surprised by his lewd behaviour. And soon, all you can hear are the repeated, muffled gulps of your warm milk flowing down his throat.

“W-What are yo-ou d-doing, my love?” You mewl, squirming underneath him from the strange feeling. He unlatches harshly with an audible pop, leaving your pointed nipple misshapened and exposed. 

“Cleaning you.” He huffs quickly as he catches his breath, diving back in to lap up the milk leaking from your other neglected breast. Your head throws back in what is undeniably pleasure now, legs tightening around his waist. You look down in a daze, watching him feast greedily, feeling his hips begin to stammer against you. 

“Fuck—I didn’t know this i-is what you meant.” You’re finally calming down from your orgasm now, already feeling your body gearing up to have another. His desperation is pungent. Evident in the way his cock grinds between your soft, slippery folds, scenting your cunt with it. 

He pulls off you with yet another pop, his tongue swiping his bottom lip so not to let the bead of milk dripping off of it go to waste. He’s huffing and puffing against you, trailing his wet kisses down your curved stomach as he tucks your legs back. You feel his hot breath against your thighs and your legs tremble in anticipation. 

“Kalin, kalin [sweet, sweet].” He mumbles, kissing your pulsing clit. “Oeyä kalin [My sweet].” 

“Oh shit.” You let loose the breathy curse when you feel his lips pucker around your over sensitive nub, and squeal when he begins to suck on it too. Your hands fly to his head, grasping at his hair to shove his face further into your cunt. He devours you with exhilaration, lapping at your leaking slit to savour your sweetness. 

His cock is aching now. He’s so hard it’s painful. He can’t stop throbbing and his cock strains so hard it’s swollen. He wants to shove himself back inside you— your warmth—and hump at you until his marked you with his essence. 

He can’t help but touch himself as he pleasures you. Stroking his cock with every lick of your pussy. Thrusting into his hand when he feels you throb against his tongue. He’s groaning and grunting into your cunt, urgently chasing his own release as he sucks on you for his own pleasure. 

Too busy to realise that you’ve been begging him to slow down a bit. That you’re too sensitive. That you feel like you may explode if he continues. 

“Ralak! I just came! F-Fuck—” You yank his head away, hurriedly rubbing at your sore pussy.

Ralak pants for air, pulling back into a standing position to reveal that he’s been fucking his hand this entire time. It’s glossy with his precum as it dribbles down his strake. He’s frantically stroking himself, staring brazenly down at your pussy—taking in how it’s flushed and swollen, glistening with his spit and your slick. It’s a delicious sight, tempting him to go in for another taste. 

He’s close and you can tell, his hips are stuttering erratically and he’s groaning like a dying man. You sit up slowly, bringing yourself to your knees as you shuffle your way closer to him. Your chest is level to his cock and you cup your full breasts with both hands, pushing them together only inches away from him. 

He seems a little confused, unsure of what your next move may be. Fuck, you aren’t even sure of what your next move is. But you’re going with your instinct, pinching your nipples until they begin to leak milk. His brows jump, the sight of that sends his hips stammering into his hand. With each huff and thrust sends his cock a little closer to you, until his swollen cockhead is poking at your breasts. 

You shuffle a little closer, moaning softly from watching him get off like this. Then you feel his sticky cock slip in between your breasts, and his hand falls to your shoulders. 

Now he’s fucking your tits in a frenzy, his leaking tip prodding at your lips. You stick your tongue out for a taste, allowing his cockhead to slip and slide against it. He’s groaning and moaning, eyes fixed in the sight beneath him. The pressure from his fat cock between your breasts only makes you leak even more, and that’s when he loses it completely.

“Oh, fuck.” He growls, thrusting hard enough to shove his cockhead into your mouth. You feel him throb violently against your tongue, his thick, hot load coating your cheeks until they're full to the brim. He pulls out as soon as he realises what he’s down, immediately reaching for your bedside bucket to spit in. 

But you shake your head, glossy eyes staring up at him as you swallow his cum with a singular, loud gulp. His eyes bulge, his hands flying to cup your cheeks as he quickly searches your eyes. You simply smile, using a thumb to swipe the single bead of cum on your chin and pop it into your mouth. 

Features softening, he returns the smile, chest heaving wildly as it swells with pride. 

——

[meanbossart]

i just need to take a second to gush about how much i love durge drow and astarion, they feel so fleshed out and perfectly written together in their fucked up wretched ways. They really inspire me to write more for my own tavs, hopefully one day ill be able to say im as happy with my own work as i get when seeing yours. I have to ask though, do you have any tips on drawing head shapes and faces? or maybe about wrinkles? i find i really struggle with that stuff when drawing and i adore how expressive and grungey all your art looks!

First of all thank you so much, I love hearing what people think of the two of them together 😭

Honestly you've hit on something that's quite near and dear to my heart, I love developing and figuring how to draw and stylize different faces to get the most unique, interesting looking results - everything about the details is highly rewarding to me. What does x type of nose look like from this angle? In this style? How can this eyeshape best translate to my art? How different does a face look when its making this expression? What does that MOUTH DO? etc etc.

In fact you kind of inspired me to put a little tutorial/guide together the last hour lmao and what a blessing it is that the two current subjects of this blog serve as great models here, being that their faces are basically polar opposites!

When it comes to heads, you've probably heard it a dozen times before that you want to think of them in terms of geometry and facets; my process to drawing them is pretty conventional so I won't spend too much time on it, but it goes something like this:

Obviously I don't do every single one of these steps most of the time, which is just something that comes from practice/developing muscle memory, but it is helpful to start off this way for two main reasons:

By making these guide lines and splitting a head into pieces like this, you'll have an easier time seeing and understanding it as a multidimensional object, and in turn, facilitate It for you when you venture out into doing wacky angles and lighting.

Making different headshapes starts HERE. notice how Astarion's "face" slate is narrower and longer, how my durge's jaw pieces sit lower on the head, how all of the same pieces came together in the same way but we ended up with one real pointy elf and a real brick of a drow - making characters look different successfully begins very early in the sketching process.

The next thing you want to do branches out into every day life: start noticing yours and other people's facial features. How does an upturned nose look from a high angle? How does the size of someone's cheekbones affect what they look like when they smile? How about when the light hits them a certain way? Does someone's lip shape changes when they pout? When they laugh? How does a person's hairline change the shape of their face? You do NOT need to creepily sketch every stranger you see on the bus, but get into the habit of actually noticing what people look like when you talk to them - when you look at pictures, when you watch movies - make a mental list of interesting ways mouths, noses, and eyes can come together in a variety of different proportions to make completely distinct looking mugs, and how they change depending on how you are looking at them.

Light and shadow play a HUGE role in how faces look, too, basically as crucial as actual bone structure does. As you see up there I tried to rough out how natural, head on, and underhead light would look on these two very different looking guys, and while we can see definite patterns, there are small differences that come to be because of the sizes and shapes of their features.

Here is a very, very basic look at how some of these features come to look the way they do, how they interact with one another, and how they compare between a blocky, rather conventionally "masculine" head and one that's much softer and slimmer.

Note please that it is not one or two characteristics that give a chaarcter their "look"; you can reduce a face to eyes, mouth, and nose through stylization and still have them be recognizable, but if you want to do more than that, you have to consider the whole package! Chin, cheeks, brows, direction of the jaw, slope and size of the forehead, depth of eyes, ridge of the nose, etc - I know this is probably far more than you bargained for, but if you start making note of a FEW of these things now and slowly add on, this will eventually become second nature to you.

Similarly, understanding how these characteristics come together will help you with rendering light and shadow in a realistic way, and predicting what their facial expressions may look like - if no two people are alike, neither are their smiles. :)

Lastly, remember that I'm no expert - I have developed my own methods and semiotics and yours may look slightly (or vastly) different, and that's fine! I hope only that by sharing this it has given you a base to work off of.

Anyways, I HOPE this has been helpful and not just the unsolicited ramblings of a face pervert.

[contentloadingandstuff]

(NSFW) Perfect Match - Tighnari x Fem!Tighnarian!Reader

A/N: Here's the third fem reader post for the few that happen to be on this blog. It's been some time since I last wrote a fic like this, but it's always nice to have a switch of perspective. As usual, and especially with this one as fem reader is not my forte, I'd really appreciate any thoughts and feedback you might have. Enjoy! CW: Tighnari is a little feral, reader and Tighnari go into heat, the usual smut.

Tighnari is such a contrast. Daily, he's quiet, patient and gentle (unless the circumstances demand something more than words), but when the heat grows, he turns just a little bit feral with you. 

The reason? Simple - he loves you. Oh, yeah, and the hormones also play a part in melting his needy brain. 

You've been together for some time now and Tighnari's instincts gave you the tag of his mate and he acted accordingly long before really acknowledging this. And, speaking honestly, he doesn't mind acting a little instinctual as long as you're fine with it. 

Keeping you close and protecting you is what he is meant to do with you as his female. Tighnari frequently takes the initiative in simple, everyday matters. Need to get out of a crowd? He's already holding your hand and guiding you safely through the people to a quieter place. When cuddling in bed, he always shifts to be the big spoon, security your smaller, warm body in his hold, close - just as you should be. If there is any imminent danger, you'll quickly find yourself gently pushed back behind him by his arm.  

He'll get possessive at times too. When he notices any other male forest rangers eyeing you with the curiosity you've got accustomed too - ears and a tail as beautiful as yours draw attention, obviously - his hand will make its way to your hip and stay there. When it's the heat season, Tighnari will also get quite defensive with you. If anybody is as little as unkind to you, he will step in to get them off your back. With all this comes a little bit of obvious suspicion, but simple communication is always enough to ease his worries about any of the other men you’re colleagues or friends with. 

Does it all bother you? Oh, not at all! How could it when every inch of him just radiates this unexplainable male allure you can't get enough of? 

There's something fascinating about the way he carries himself that you can't quite explain. It's how decisive he is, it's in the unique tone of his voice, it's in his subtly dominant nature. Your eyes pick up seemingly trivial things that you can't help but marvel at. You love how strong he is, be that due to his Vision or just how he is - nothing makes you more excited than being picked up (and pinned down too!). He does this with such ease too…

Being a young hybrid, Tighnari has his needs that, if not satiated, make him grumpy and quite irritated. If you're not feeling like it, he'll understand - as any good partner should. Which doesn't mean he won't be disappointed, mind you. A horny Tighnari significantly increases your chances of stumbling upon him furiously stroking himself or hearing his needy moans in the night as he blows another unsatisfying load. 

Even though his hand was enough to keep his lust at bay, it was hardly satisfying. Luckily, the days of jerking the edge off are gone now. Why cum into a tissue when he can empty his balls inside you? Compared to his hand your fertile, warm and wet pussy feels like absolute heaven…

… And his fat, pulsating cock is the ideal extinguisher for the fire in your womb. Your hybrid nature leaves you just as prone to bursts of irresistible arousal as him. Your heat might be a single month at the start of the year, but living alongside a fellow tighnarian makes your brain buzz with hormones. 

Between the two of you, there's a simple rule - when you're horny, you fuck. He knows well that when his thoughts wander, there's no way of fighting them off. That's when he'll signal his needs to you. Looking at you with those smug bedroom eyes, for example, is a clear sign that Tighnari would like to see you on the bed head-down-ass-up in the immediate future. 

Usually, it's your smell that catches his attention. His sensitive nose can pick it up flawlessly each time. Your scent is gentle, with only the slightest hint of musk included in the mix. You'll find Tighnari cuddling especially tightly in the mornings or after physical activity when your pheromones are at their strongest. It won't take much time for his hands to wander and his cock to harden. 

His scent is the perfect moisturizer for your pussy, yes, but it's also a little bothersome. Because. It. Is. Everywhere. On the pillows, on the couch, on the chairs, inside every room from the bedroom down to even the closet. In the first two months of the year it's just straight up impossible to ignore it or distract yourself from your husband's pheromones. Sometimes you're wondering if your ancestors were idiotic enough to not breed by themselves,  forcing evolution into giving them this neuron activation upon catching a whiff of dick or pussy. 

For example, doing laundry is tricky to do without getting flustered or horny. Tighnari’s musk is, obviously, the strongest on his clothes. So whenever you pick up one of his shirts or boxers and your sensitive nose finds just how strong his smell is, you suddenly become flustered and very interested in what's under the pair he is wearing right now. 

Luckily for you, Tighnari is a good husband and will fuck his cute little wife senseless when she needs it, and you’re more than glad to return the favour when he is in need. It's a simple instinct. You're his mate, and he is yours. Your scents are impossible to ignore, sending the more primal parts of your brains a simple message - you're both young, beautiful, healthy and ready to breed. Around him, your pussy clenches at nothing, your womb longing to be filled with baby-making cum, and around you his balls ache from all the creamy, virile seed he is making for you. 

This awareness, awareness of you being ripe for the picking, makes you irresistible for him. 

Although Tighnari's cock might be average in size, what he lacks in length he makes up for in sex drive and pure ferocity. He can fuck fast and he can fuck hard. He won't be stopping himself from manhandling you - you'll surely be surprised by just how strong a male like him can be. Whatever playful resistance efforts you may make and regardless of how much force you put into them, Tighnari will just growl and pin you down every single time. 

Primal play always gets him hot and bothered. In bed, he's the natural lead. He's the hungry predator, and you're his cute little prey. Struggle all you can, but at the end there's no escape from a thorough breeding. His hybrid stamina lets him cum again and again with barely any downtime between powerful orgasms that fill your insides with warm cum. 

His go to position is prone bone. Having your smaller, feminine body pinned under his weight, your hands locked under his and your pretty mouth desperately biting the sheets as he forces his swollen knot in and out of you drives him positively feral. Doggy style is also quite fun. Grabbing your tail and pulling it away to reveal your tight little asshole and drenched pussy lips is extremely satisfying. Sometimes he grabs your head and pulls it back, thoroughly enjoying the sight of your long ears folding in submission. 

While he isn't too much into receiving oral, he won't ever pass up the opportunity to feast on your pussy. If you give him the chance to, you'll find Tighnari greedily lapping at your folds, drinking up your scent and arousal like a parched man. When you sit on his face, you'll have a nice view of his cock, swollen, twitchy and overflowing with precum, just waiting to nestle in between your warm lower lips. How can this sight make you anything but absolutely crazy for his dick? You'll often find yourself locked in a sixty-nine with both of you furiously licking each other with your rough tongues. If he couples it with a passionate fuck afterwards, you'll be lucky to have your pretty legs work in the morning. 

But it is in January and February when your lust really makes an appearance. These two months are usually taken out of the calendar for you two - being apart from each other during your heat after having tasted what having a mate feels like is torture. Not even the best toys can replace him - they won't ever mimic his warmth, his desperate and frustrated groans, his arms locking your body in place or his ears, trembling and folding from the pleasure as he breeds you. 

His instincts tell him to pump a litter or two into your womb, and he'll announce his needs to you, whether you decide to go through with it or not. A condom or a pill is an absolute must if you want to be safe - it's usually very difficult to keep yourself from letting the lust take full control. It's absolutely not because your pussy milks him and throbs so much, desperate to suck him in just that millimeter deeper and get absolutely pumped with his baby making milk and end up leg locking him. 

Mornings with Tighnari are always fun, regardless of the season. You'll sometimes wake up to the sensation of him rubbing his length along your ass, moaning your name softly into your ear and asking, begging to be let in. You usually let him - it's not like you're not guilty of blowing him awake either. Whoever is the “waker-up”, they can certainly expect a wonderful, lazy morning breeding.

Thanks for reading!

[great-and-small]

I know you're a fan of animal husbandry and the human animal connection so i have a recommendation for you if you haven't seen it, Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. The horse movements, including the correct ear movements when they're scared or calm/happy are so perfect. The story of the different ways you can tame a horse, through love or fear, the parallels of the destruction of Native land and culture between Little Creek and Spirit. The landscape paintings! It makes me yearn for the desert and I think you'd like it

Oh man I love love love that movie. When I was a kid I watched it over and over and the opening transition scene as Spirit grows up always made me cry. To this day seeing any old Buckskin horse makes my heart flutter a bit ❤️

As you said, it’s one of the best Children’s movies to explore the human animal bond, and I am always more interested in stories that examine animal exploitation alongside human exploitation. The two are so often linked that it’s hard to faithfully talk about one without the other. The nature of Little Creek and Spirit’s bond is the emotional centerpiece of the movie and a superb way to start talking to kids about how the way we connect to animals matter immensely.

This is going to sound like a weird aspect of this but I am also really really into the way horses run. Seeing a horse that loves to run just absolutely fly and let loose running in an open area literally gives me goosebumps. If there are horses in a movie Im watching and I don’t get to see them running full speed I will be grouchy (possibly relevant info: I learned to ride on a retired racing thoroughbred).

Running is what horses have evolved to do over millions of years and the result is an astonishing feat of biomechanics. My equine anatomy classes were so fucking hard for me due to the painstaking detail in understanding the structures that allow horses to stand and run in the way they do; it’s unbelievably complex (look into the stay apparatus for just a small taste). To see all of those tendons, ligaments, vessels, nerves, and muscles come together with such fluidity and grace is just one of the coolest products of evolution that we see today. It will never become mundane to me!

For an animated movie from the early 2000’s , it just blows me away how beautifully they render the horses running. You can tell they watched a lot of real animals to get it right. Something about those horses running across beautiful landscapes is just uniquely moving. I don’t know why but I am very much with you, in that this film fills me with yearning.

[devilbeez]

Because Loser, baby is my Roman Empire I feel like I should point this out

It is SUCH a refreshing message than other show have shown so far and I think that’s why we all obsessed with it. Yes, the visual is great. Yes, ship is phenomenal. But the message of “Your situation may be shit but also know you’re not alone” is better than “it’ll get better” messages to me.

“And you think that make you unique” was far from an insult. Husk is letting Angel know his trauma doesn’t make him an outcast or that he’s alone in this. He KNOW what Charlie is doing is not working so this is his way of relating to Angel

As someone who— have a hard time being an optimist sometimes “it’ll get better” and “you can be better” messages Charlie try to give the others does not work on me because it been over said and most of the time it come out as toxic positivity and unrealistic. So, having Husk saying “yeah you’re a fucking loser but hey I’m a loser too” is everything I needed to love this ship.

It’s not him blaming Angel for what happened, it’s not him trying to be like Charlie, it’s him understanding Angel’s struggle of being under the contract, know that they made a mistake and telling Angel that he’s not alone because that how Angel must’ve felt

What even better is when Angel sing about himself, notice how he doesn’t back away from him like he usually do when Angel is being sexual. He accepted him because he acknowledged that sex and drug is part of Angel and how he cope like how gamble is how he cope.

TL;DR What Husk is doing is acknowledging that Angel have a hard time to believe the praise and encouragement from others so instead of doing that he let Angel call himself a loser, a dummy, a slut etc as much as he want because thinking you’re better is far from where Angel is right now. Husk been where Angel had been and he know the annoying “think possitive” bs doesn’t work therefore he just let Angel know he’s not alone and sometimes that’s all someone really need. This song is them being ‘loser’ together, acknowledging that they’re not alone and make the best of their situation.

Is this just words jumble with no structure? Yes but I just really like this song and it message and have0 braincells to have structure in my explanation why

[were--ralph]

Hey i saw you ranting about trans men on a post, and i was just wondering a few things. This is a genuine question, as a stelth trans man, i really cant find anything about a pre op transitioning body attractive. Especially a pre op Chest. Now i do take testosterone, and i think that the parts that i find gross (ex: tits mixed with chest hair) are a perfectly acceptable thing to deal with so i can look the way i want to look. I love my body hair and my muscle growth, i just dont love the obviously not cis parts of me. What do you find attractive about this? I truely cannot for the life of me understand why people find trans men attractive but i would really like to understand.

I think spicy food is disgusting generally. it's like. hot and not fun and to me it adds nothing good to the food experience. Genuinely I don't understand why people enjoy hot foods it makes like. literally no sense.

and yet, people do. it's weird. I've tried on multiple occasions to get into spicy food and it just. suks. every single time it sucks. But everyone else in my family lives by it. And I've asked why for years literally unable to understand it until I realized.

sometimes people just. like things. things I certainly don't like and cannot enjoy whatsoever. But at the same time, this is true for me and not for them. I fucking love coffee to the point I drink it more than water most days, but no one else in my family likes it. BUT other people outside my family enjoy it too.

Life is weird and what I'm getting at is something that took me a lifetime to understand and I still can't wrap my head around it all the time.

People just like things. People love things and hate things. What things mean to one person can mean the world to another and death to the third. There's not always a reason for it, but what you have to do is accept that there are things in life that you just might not like much right now. but as time goes on you'll find value in it the same way your partner will find value in you and all the minuscule things you do and become and like and dislike.

And to build on that point, there are things I hated as a kid that I'm fine with and even love now. Each day changes you more than you'll ever know and with those changes, the acceptance that comes with them may be easier or harder.

So, to answer your question, I don't know! I just love men. Men with tits or pecs, men with vaginas or dicks. maybe both at the same time or neither at all! I just think men are generally attractive no matter the design or what's different about them. and not just men but people who present as masc in general. If you're masc nb there's a chance I'm looking at you through the window of a bar as much as if you were cis-male or trans-male.

I do know for some men, the allure of masculinity displaced with the typically-feminine concept of a vagina intrigues them. Maybe it's the juxtaposition of them together, maybe they just want something unique and new to them. Maybe they just really like vaginas and it doesn't matter who it's attached to, or maybe they just like trans men. Same thing with boobs, some guys just like boobs. Some men have boobs. the overlap doesn't mean net-negative results, it could be double positive.

And I don't expect you to love everything about yourself, god knows I don't love everything about myself, and despite people telling me what's good about me I can still find flaws within it whenever I choose. I think men with chest hair are hot as fuck, but also I've seen some smooth men that are just as if not hotter. I love me a fat man or a man with muscles, but i've seen twinks i'd demolish in one sitting as well. I've seen men with dicks and boobs and scars and and hair pretty much everything under the sun and sometimes I want them to sit on me and forget I'm there and smother me.

What you do have to do though is accept that you have those things, and you are those things, and even though you may not like those things you have to accept that they're a part of you and find value in that. And it's not an easy task at all to love yourself, but you have to try because even if you don't right now, there's a partner who will be waiting for you somewhere. there's a future version of you who loves you as you are. there are friends who love your flaws, pets who don't judge, and there are a lot of things that accept you as you are.

So just say you have boobs and chest hair. even if you don't love it about yourself right now know that there are and will always be people who do, and personally I've said before, but I wish i had boobs and chest hair it's just a perfect look to me. I'm fine with whatever my gender is, i just think its a good look. If I had money for top and bottom surgery I'd get it and never look back. You just have to find the value in yourself we all know is there, and if you can't just know that we know it's there and let that carry you through the day!

[lamnwar]

Sweet Boy ♡ // Akashi Seijurō x Fem!Reader

MDNI 18+ knb kinktober entry!!

A/N: when I tell you that I somehow always manage to write about that dude as if I worship him fr it's insane 😫 Context: you really lucked out when you managed to pull Seijurō Akashi. Warnings: Akashi has a praise kink, blowjob, reader swallows (teehee 🤭), reader is a bit of a worshipper, mention of fingering, brief makeout, missionary sex, unprotected sex, creampie, pet names ("good boy", "sweet boy")

Seijurō Akashi is a lot of things. He’s always been, and it seems that he’s destined to be the one to bear a thousand responsibilities. Maybe this is what comes with being the unique son of a rich family, or maybe he’s put that burden upon himself by taking roles of leadership from his youngest age. Captain of his basketball team for most of his education, the top student since forever, even taking the top spot in one of the toughest degrees at a top university. You’ve never known him to be the lowkey kind, the kind of guy that you wouldn’t notice unless you’re really pay attention. No, he is bright and commanding, so much so that for the longest time you couldn’t tell how you managed to pull him. He seems too good for you, like a star out of reach while you are, like everyone else, just a worm on Earth blinded by him. How can someone be so perfect, so well put together?

But the Seijurō that lays in your arms at night is far from who he’s perceived to be, that much is certainty. There’s something about the kindness in his eyes and the goodness with which he treats you that makes you fall in love even more each time. It doesn’t make sense; for all you know, love can’t be that endless, can it? And yet, you are proven wrong everyday, when he looks at you, when he smiles at you, when he kisses you.

Such a soft creature, under all that layer of authority and perfectionism. Maybe you’re the only one who’s ever seen him like that, but you rather not comfort yourself in that belief – it’d be a much too strong stroke on your ego. Being the one with whom Seijurō Akashi lets his guards down completely, allowing himself to be seen like he’s never been seen before. Just a sweet boy – which you are deeply convince is his true nature – who loves you to the moon and back, and even beyond.

“Seijurō, you know I love you, right?” you never fail to remind him every time you kiss under the glim light of your bedroom.

He hums, or maybe purrs, like a cat indulging in the affection of another. It’s cute, and it makes your heart jump to see him like that. His hands tighten on your waist as you whisper sweet words of affection against his lips between kisses.

Smooch. I love you. Smooch. So fucking much I can’t even understand it myself. Smooch. You’re so pretty, Seijurō. Let me love every inch of you.

He swears under his breath, dark eyes shining like a thousand stars when he looks at you. He must have done something extraordinary in his past life to have you in his arms in this one. The sweetness of your tongue against his makes his heart melt, and he holds your face close and tight, like he fears your sudden disappearance if he’s not touching you. You giggle, pecking his lips.

“Sei, I’m right here, you know?”

He stares at you, his gaze at first incredulous, before it softens, just like his grip on your face. You’re right, you’re here, and for what he knows with certainty, you’re not going anywhere. He lets you pull his shirt of his body, the softness of your touch against his milky skin soothing his soul like nothing else can. There’s something in the way your fingers trace his perfect skin, and how the sweet kisses that follow right after makes the hair on his arms raise. The sudden twitch of his cock when you look at him with love and lust in your irises – hell, you haven’t touched him there yet that he’s already straining against the fabric of his underwear. You chuckle at the sight; it’s adorable, honestly.

“Ah... love, you’re teasing too much” he huffs in a small laugh.

You wouldn’t say so yourself – in fact, you’re not doing enough. But Seijurō entirely disagrees. Your simple presence is enough to feel like an invitation for more. He can’t help but tangle his fingers in your hair, ever so gently pushing your head lower in hopes that you’ll grace him with the caress of your lips where he needs it the most. You hum, leaving a last kiss to his navel before leaning back, a smile painted on your lips.

“Get rid of your pants f’me.”

He doesn’t hesitate twice to slide the fabric off his legs, and it an act of impatience that would surprise everyone else, he removes his boxers in the same move. Seijurō himself is fairly taken aback by his hurry – so uncharacteristic, but when he’s with you, he doesn’t care to keep up the façade. Every soft gasp and weak moan, everything that makes him so different from who he usually his; not having to be perfect, not having to be impeccable because you love him so much when he’s a mess.

“So pretty Sei... can I suck you?” You purr, face nuzzled against his hardened cock as your fingers trace the veins on the shaft.

That alone is enough for him to lose his mind, something primitive urging him to grab you and ravage you with nothing but pure, instinctive lust for you. But he holds on to the bit of self-control he has, and nods.

“Go ahead love, I can’t refuse you anything.”

His words are punctuated by a tender laugh, almost as tender as your tongue as it licks his tip. He shudders – you really don’t waste your time, huh. You start off nice and gentle, it’s almost how unbearable. Every small lick and every stroke of your hand at his base setting his insides on fire.

Oh, how he’d kill to just feel the warmth of your mouth...

And eventually he does. He can’t tell when, how... all he knows is the way his aching dick twitch from the feeling of you. You look up at him, gaze entranced by the sight of his writhing.

“Sei!” you whimper around him, the vibration of your voice coming out of your mouth resonating against the sensitive skin of his tip, “You’ll come in my mouth, right? You taste so good...”

His breath hitches – how can such lewd words sound so... loving? It’s not even a stroke to his ego, but a genuine expression of your feelings towards him. Your Seijurō, that tastes like heaven in your mouth, and even more when he comes down your throat.

The drunk look on your face when his hips buck forward, shoving his cock deeper down the abyss of your mouth, drawing hums of pleasure out of you. Each time you look at him, only to meet a work of art. His chest rising to his erratic breath, his muscles contracting in a desperate attempt not to come too fast, and the furrowing of his eyebrows as he focuses on the feeling.

“Fuck... ah!”

You can feel your panties soak from simply hearing his huffs, watching him lose his composure the faster you bob your head, the deeper you take him, the more languidly you swerve your tongue around his cock. He groans, unable to stop his release anymore.

“Come for me Seijurō, you’re so handsome when you come” you hum before sucking him through the last seconds before he lets go.

You hum, your voice a song in his ear as he lets out spurts of his sweet cum down your throat. And you swallow all of it, ravishing in its taste. The look of bliss on your face alone could get him rock hard again, and he can’t think straight anymore. A dazed-out gloss in his eyes when you let him go, thumb swiping away the drool coating your plump lips. You crawl to him, kissing him to get him out of his secondary state.

“You’re such a sweet boy” you praise as you kiss him, leaving the taste of him on his tongue. “The sweetest.”

He chuckles, and in a swift move pushes you to your back. Time becomes the most abstract concept when he sees you like this, splayed under him, your lips coated thinly by saliva and your eyes... oh, your eyes. Begging, pleading, praying for him to make love to you. To let himself melt into you, so you could feel a little less insane about how you feel about him. So you’d know with certitude that you aren’t the only obsessed one – though, how can you not be? Even when he’s the desperate man that strips you off your clothes right now, he’s still the most beautiful being you’ve ever seen. The sight itself making your cunt drench, the guttural need for him seeping through your folds and coating your inner thighs.

“You want me that much, sweets?” he asks, somehow surprised by your wetness.

“Sei! What are you surprised about?” you chuckle “you’re my pretty boy, of course I want you.”

“Yeah? You’re too nice to me...” he coos, finger gathering your juices as a testament of your excitement.

“Barely.”

“Then I guess I should fuck you good, hm? Give back for all your kindness.”

You nod eagerly, covering his face in kisses while his fingers tease your sweet cunt. Slow, tender moves, just to feel you and make you yearn for him even more than you already are. Your lips quiver, short pleading whimpers leaving your lips. You need him now.

And to your contentment, so does he. His pretty cock stands proudly between your legs, impatiently waiting for the warm embrace of your pussy. At this moment, not a single thought can cross your mind. No, because it’s filled to the brim with Seijurō. The honeyed taste of his lips, the skilled touch of his fingers that fires up your skin, and the pleasurable sting of his dick sinking in your cunt. You’re entranced, enchanted.

“So pretty...” you mutter between soft whimpers of pleasure.

Your words are enough to take him to the moon, the grip on your thighs tightening as he spreads you open more, pushing deeper. He swears – one of the rare occasions in which you’ll ever hear him use foul language. He can’t help it, not when you whine such nice words in his ear.

Forehead pressed to yours as he thrusts to the perfect rhythm, he lets out the most beautiful sounds against your skin. Your fingers find his hair, slightly tugging into it as you fill his ear with sugar.

“Such a nice boy, Sei...”

“No one – ah! No one fucks me better than you.”

“Such a good boy, hm, gonna come for me again, yeah? You know I love it when you fill me, love.”

He grits his teeth, the song of your praise making his cock leak shamelessly. Your eyes struggle to fixate on him, to your own dissatisfaction. Seijurō Akashi is the most beautiful when he comes. You hold tight to him, fingers digging in his skin as he brings you to your orgasm. You shake and squirm, keeping him in an almost deadly embrace.

“Fuck!”

In a last few messy thrusts, he lets go and fills you to the brim, obediently responding to your previous request to do so. He doesn’t pull out yet; your pussy is heaven. And you keep him close to your body, close to your heart.

The organ pulses in your chest, pulsing in his. You could melt on the spot like honey in the sun. What have you done to be blessed like that? To have him in your arms like that?

Aren’t you blessed by the heavens, to have such a sweet boy all for you?

[moriitis]

uhm so I don't know if requests are open right now but I wanted to ask maybe a EJ in a relationship hc like you did with Toby? Only if you want to though!!! 💖

What would it be like dating Eyeless Jack? Content/Warnings; sexual themes, blood. MINORS DNI. 18+

The most laid back, chilled boyfriend you could ask for. It would be rare to get into an argument with Jack, either because he never looks for one or because he'll walk away from the situation altogether. Would absolutely be his biggest green flag! If you were to get heated or flustered over something, he'll mutter little words to try and calm you down.

"Try not to worry about it, it'll be a thing of the past before you know it."

Very reserved and unlike Toby; he wouldn't go out of his way to piss you off or annoy you. Maybe he'll tease you softly here or there.

Loves to encourage you to do the things you love! And hates it when you put yourself down if you aren't good enough. Admittedly, he has a huge soft spot for nerdy or even smart s/o's, so when you're rambling over something you love or something you're passionate about; he'll be swooning all over you.

Understands distance and admittedly, likes his own alone time. Don't read this wrong, he absolutely loves your company but simply loves it more when you're both preoccupied with something and just sat in the room together in silence.

Due to his lack of.. eyesight, Jack is a very touchy feely person. Which means he is very, very physical. It took him some time to feel confident enough to touch you, purely because he wasn't sure how much he could hold himself back. His hands will roam over your arms, occasionally rest on your lower back if you were together. Would tend to avoid touching you in a sexual manner.

He is a very good listener! Need to vent? He'll lend an ear. Just don't go to him expecting advice though, because really he's the worst. Somebody annoying you?

"Just don't talk to them..?"

Just doesn't really understand the concept of shit talking, so if you are venting don't expect him to join you. He'll just try to give you logical options so you can resolve your issues quicker.

On the matter of gossip, Jack knows everything. Hiding a secret from him is pointless because not only is his superb hearing going to pick up the most quietest of things; but he can sense a change in your body language too.

And despite the fact he doesn't enjoy shit talking, he will share a lot of juicy gossip he has heard.

I said he likes touch, well this guy loves to fucking cuddle. He loves smelling your intoxicating scent, wrapping you around his large frame and protecting you from anything that may threaten you. His cuddles will always lead to sex though, he can't help the raging boner he gets every time.

Always gets little hyper bursts, especially after he's eaten and during that time he's so fucking hilarious. It's like he's drunk, but except drunk on alcohol; it's like he's drunk on the high amount of blood he's consumed. You'll notice little tinges of red under the greys of his cheeks as he's chuckling, a low and raspy chuckle as he's mumbling complete bullshit that frankly makes so sense.

It wouldn't be Jack if he didn't teach you the basics of sewing up a human body, where to find your major arteries and quizzes you on where all your vital organs are. Maybe it's because he loves hearing you talk about it, almost like it's his own, unique dirty talk.

Oh, and the endless piggy backs. Despite his scrawny, skinny appearance, this guy is strong as fuck. He loves carrying you around. Tired? Get on that mans back. And there's something about holding you while he fucks you relentlessly too..

Does not open much, like.. at all. So you have to come to terms with the fact that Jack is just a reserved person who doesn't like talking about his past. Unless he has a mental breakdown and then it's all spewing.

The. Fucking. Pet. Names. Always finds a new pet name for you.

"Darling. Lovey. Love. Angel. Sweetness. Honey. Sweet thing."

But then his pet names gets him hungry and after all he can't help it, your blood smells so sweet, so inviting.

Lots of little acts of love too. Making sure you don't forget medication, tucking you in under blankets (even though his body heat is enough to warm you), peppering your face with endless amounts of kisses.

He's a romantic too, he's just not very good at showing it. He's awkward, so you can't blame him. He'll put the effort in to be romantic nevertheless, but he's a natural gentleman so he doesn't need much effort put in to begin with. Hold doors open for you, shit this man will even get on his knees to tie your shoelaces for you.

And of course, he lectures you a lot; sometimes about the most dumbest of things. But it's just because he cares about you.

I wouldn't imagine Jack to be controlling, but there's aspects where it could seem that way. It wouldn't be outright either, he'd just kinda say things like;

"You shouldn't do this. Think before you do things. What would the consequences be," etc, etc.

Forgot to mention this guy is smart as all fuck too. Got a math equation you're struggling on? He's a fucking human monster calculator.

rambled a little too much about this man.

thank you so much for requesting this! glad my man jack is getting a little more love, lord knows he deserves it.

sorry if these aren't great lmao

[genericpuff]

Are there any things you like about LO? Or is it all shit to you. Personally, I think it could be a great storyline with the right execution, but a lot of the stuff and plot is unnecessary (I.e. Hades being thousands of years older than Kore and making characters fall in love with people they are racist/classist towards 😨😨)

Oh there are LOADS of things that I liked and still enjoy about LO despite all the shit I've thrown at it. I love love LOVE a lot of the older art-

Like, damn, that shit is so charming! I swear I had that Tower 4 panel as my phone background for like, 2 years LOL

Rachel had a really strong understanding of shape language, composition, color theory, and expressive linework in a way that was really appealing and unique at the time, but along the way it was just lost, undoubtedly due to her taking more of a backseat in the character art process and leaving it to her assistants.

That said, there's a lot of... not so charming, too.

I think, on the one hand, there's a lot to appreciate in the old art that shouldn't be rejected as we criticize this series. At the end of the day, as much as we riff on it, many of us did love this series at one point in time, so we shouldn't cringe at what it used to make us feel or pretend like we were ever above it when we were very much lost in it for ages before it went down the tubes.

But there is a lot to be said about the effects of rose-colored glasses, and how LO was never perfect. The reality is that much of Rachel's work is exemplified by the odd beautiful thing that sticks in our memories, but when we actually go back to relive those memories, we find they're all strung together by some not so beautiful stuff that makes us go 'wait what???'

Case in point, with LO we remember beautiful compositions like this:

But then within those same episodes we get:

And it's like oh. Yikes.

Aside from the art, there was also the SA plot as well as the Act of Wrath. The SA plot felt really special to me at the time because I was someone who was once in Persephone's shoes, being pressured into sex that I wasn't ready for but wasn't capable of saying no to. I can appreciate what Rachel was trying to do with that plot, but over time it became clear that she wasn't committed to seeing that plotline through and so I kind of just dropped my expectations for it entirely.

That said, it wasn't the SA plotline that set me off. I had good faith in that one still that it would be addressed eventually. It was the Act of Wrath plotline that did me in. The premise of it was totally my cup of tea in the way of "quirky character has a dark evil backstory!" which is shit that I absolutely LOVE, but then when the "twist" happened that Eris was the one to give her wrath, that was literally when I had my almost "canon event" moment of realizing "wait... I don't think Rachel knows what she's doing." And then it was just all downhill from there. The S2 finale sealed my fate LOL

All that said, as much as my brain is often defaulting to "ew! gross! bad!!!" in all honesty I do still appreciate what LO meant to be back when I still enjoyed it. It meant enough to me that I just couldn't let it the fuck go when it started to go downhill, so much so that I started making my own version of it! And that's something that sets it apart so much more from other comics I really don't like anymore (or comics I never liked to begin with) like Down to Earth, The Kiss Bet, Let's Play, etc. where I really can't even be bothered to think about them let alone talk about them to the extent I do about LO. I may be full of beans when it comes to LO, but I'd still rather be talking about it and all its failings and what it used to mean to me than about any of those other works. I loved it enough to still want it in my life and that's what Rekindled has accomplished for me.

[raya-hunter01]

Not My Sister's Keeper Pt. 12

Not My Sister’s Keeper

Jey Uso X OC (Kayla)

Sefa

Roman X (Jade)

Jimmy X Trin

Rhea Ripley

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy, infidelity, pregnancy

Roamn’s wife recently left medical school and returned home to save her marriage. Upon her return, she finds out things are not what they seem. Her sister is pregnant by her best friend Jey Uso, who is also Roman’s cousin, and her husband is acting suspiciously.

What happens when a conversation overhead on a baby monitor blows her world apart?

Philadelphia, PA

Smackdown

Jey’s POV

“That wasn’t what I told them I wanted.”

“I can just sit by your dad and it’s on the hard camera side. I won’t have to worry about being seen. Jey, it’s really not a big deal.” Kara said putting the finishing touches on her make up.  

“Kara, I don’t care what they said, after you and Trin walk pops to his seat, come sit with me. I’m not going to sit there for two or three hours away from my wife.”

“They don’t know we’re married Jey, if they did, I’m sure they would’ve seated us together.”

“They don’t know cause’ it ain’t nobody’s business until we ready to tell them that we are married. Hell, even if we were just boyfriend and girlfriend, you still would have been sitting wit me. You ain’t no secret, I don’t give a fuck what nobody thinks about us.”

I knew she agreed with my thought process, it wasn’t that we were ashamed it’s just that so much of our lives had been on display for the world to see and we wanted this to be ours and ours alone until we were ready to tell everyone.

“Us against the world,” Kara whispered as I put my ring finger next to hers, our matching ring finger tattoos on full display. “Damn right, us against the world.”   

We had gotten the first letter of each other’s name tattooed on our ring finger, into a ring design it was really unique, and we loved it.  I can’t help in thinking back to the night I finally proposed.

Four months earlier

“I am willing to move to Atlanta Kara, I know it was one of your choices.”

“Josh-”

“Damn, we serious now you are using my real name.”

“Yes, because you’re not listening. Josh, I want to move back to Pensacola to do my residency.”

This has been a conversation that we’ve had for the last month especially since Tia is working to get transferred back to Pensacola to serve her sentence.

“Bae, I love that you want to come home but what about Tia being here. I can sell the house, or we keep it as a vacation house. My mom would understand and I’m sure Bill would.”

“Josh, this is home and has always been home. I don’t want to start anywhere else new. I want to live in this house as your wife and raise our kids here. I don’t give one nor two fucks that Tia is here.” Kara said as I smiled. Damn, she never put it to me like that before.

“You know I can’t wait to marry you and have some lil Uces running around here. I just didn’t want you to feel like you had to stay here for me, you’ve already done enough of that in your life.” 

“I have never thought that, knowing I’m coming here is like what helps me get through those tough days when I’m alone in Boston.”

“Kara, can I be honest wit you?” I asked ready to take a chance.

“You know I always want you to be honest. You don’t have to sugar coat nothing, and you know you can ask me anything. You know we locked in; I love you.” That was it, the invitation I knew I always had but it felt good to hear her say it.

“Kara, what would you say if I told you I couldn’t wait another day to make you, my wife.”

“I’d say why haven’t you asked me yet?” Kara asked without hesitation as I caressed her face. She better stop playin’ cause’ we can apply for this license in the morning, get it rushed and be married by tomorrow night.

“Kara I’m serious…. Baby, I wanna marry you, but you deserve so much like the proposal of your dreams, the big wed-”.

“Josh, I don’t need this big elaborate proposal and big wedding. I’ve done all that and it was more for others than for me. As long as it’s me, you, my dad and your mom there, that’s all I need.”

“And you’re ready? Like you ready to take that step with me?”

“Like I said, you won’t know till you ask.”

“Oh, you ain’t gotta keep tellin’ me.” Quickly reaching in my pocket I pulled out and opened the small heart shaped jewelry box. “Wait you really got a ring!” Kara exclaimed as I smiled kneeling down on one knee.

“Yes, and it’s been burning a hole in my pocket and luggage for almost eight months,” I said truthfully as Kara covered her mouth in shock.

I knew she didn’t like big and extravagant; she was more of a tear cut diamond girl, so Tiffany’s was nice enough to work with me on a design for her.

“Kara, I’ve loved you since I was five years old, and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone but you. We’ve been through a lot, but it brought us here and I don’t want to waste another minute.

“Are you sure?” Kara asked with tears in her eyes as I kissed her hand and placed the ring on her finger. “Kara, you ain’t never gotta question my love for you. I love you so much and I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone but you, lau pele.”

“I love you too and I—I want to spend the rest of my life with you too.”

“Then how bout it, Ms. Kara Morris, will you give me the honor of becoming Mrs. Fatu and spending a couple of forevers wit me?”

“Yes, I would love to spend a couple of forevers being Mrs. Fatu.”

---

The rest as they say is history, we a license the next morning, pops knew the clerk, so he called in a favor, and we were able to get it that same day. Then later that evening we got married, with my parents and Bill as witnesses.  

“I’m going to meet Trin, and pops,” Kara said giving me a kiss. “A’ight, I’m heading back to Gorilla, and I’ll see you in a minute.” I told her before we parted ways, I don’t know why they do the Hall of Fame after smackdown.

The talent is tired and so is the crowd. I just worked the main evet and had to rush back here to get dressed for the HOF. I’m not complaining by any means, I love this, but they need a better planning system. This was so unorganized.

“Jey we been waiting, you’re up next.”

“Sorry, I had to make sure everything was straight on the home front before I came back.” I said falling in line behind Big E waiting my turn to go back out.

---

Kara’s POV

I felt nervous, but I can say I felt comfortable in my dress, and I wasn’t struggling to walk in my heels like some of the wives and girlfriends were, so I was ahead of the game.

“Pops, you look good,” I told him as Trin, and I each took an arm.

“So do ya’ll my beautiful daughter-in laws. Ya’ll about to have all the attention on me. Did ya’ll plan the matching hair?” he asked as we laughed.

“Nope, that was an accident, but we look cute, and you heard pops, sis. Even he knows you’re going to be his daughter-in law,” she said reaching over to fix my hair.

“Yes, I heard him.”

I smiled looking at Jey wave to the crowd as he walked down the aisle.  My husband is so sexy in all black, hell in anything he’s sexy.

“Kara, you hear me?”

“No, I was looking at my man if we are being honest.” I said, Pops belly laugh making me smile.

“See, you so in love with that man, I’mma need Ya’ll to stop playin’.” Trin said as Pops winked at me. He was getting a kick out of Trin having no clue Jey and I were already married.

“It’s our turn,” Trin whispered as they ushered us forward. I felt nervous, never had I ever went out in front of a crowd to be dissected. I had sat in plenty crowds, and backstage but this was new. I was more out in the open and felt exposed.

We couldn’t get pops to his seat fast enough, so many people were stopping us to talk to him. Picking up on my nervousness, he winked at me.

“We ain’t stopping again, they can come see me at my seat if they wanna talk,” he whispered as I nodded thankfully.

Before he sat down, he gave us a hug. “Thank ya’ll for makin’ an old man happy.”

“It’s no problem pops, I can sit with you if you want?”

“No, ya’ll go be with the twins, I’m good, ya’ll have fun.”  Quickly we went made our way to the other side of the ring. Jey stood up to give Trin a hug and to let her pass.

“I been waiting on you wifey,” he said making me smile, taking my hand in his as we sat down to enjoy the hall of fame.

Roman’s POV

I love Paul and I know what I said I would induct him, but I could have fell on my face seeing Jey and Kara sitting front row as I climbed in the ring.

I just walked past my ex-wife and cousin and had to play it cool but on the inside, I was breaking down. I guess they were finally coming out officially, but it wasn’t my business.

After introducing Paul, I couldn’t get backstage fast enough to go back to my bus. It was going to be a long weekend, sitting on my bus I went on twitter checking to see if anyone was talking about Jey and Kara.

As I expected some fans were already being messy, tagging me in an article from WrestleWorld, asking how I felt about the situation. I knew I should ignore it, but I couldn’t.

WrestleWorld

Karma’s -A- Kara

By. Scott Jenson

Jey Uso has the wrestling world talking tonight he showed up at the WWE Hall of Fame with Kara Morris(pictured above). Kara is the ex-wife of Jey’s cousin, Roman Reigns. Kara and Trin were seen walking WWE Hall of Famer Rikishi to his seat before going to sit with their respective partners. Jey was seen also kissing Kara during Paul Heyman’s tribute video. It has been rumors swirling about the couple for years but it was never confirmed until now.

“How the fuck do they find out all this shit?" I hissed, angry at the fact people were picking apart my life and Kara’s.

Kara doesn’t have social media but has popped up on Jey’s Instagram stories and posts throughout the years. In knowing what transpired between Kara and Roman, we wish her well. Kara is about to actually graduate from medical school next month. Congratulations Kara, and Jey, enjoy the Hall of Fame ceremony.

“Then these damn tweets ain’t no better. Like how?!” Each tweet pissing me off more as I read them.

@Romanreignslover03 So, Jey Uso walked into the WWE Hall of Fame with his cousin’s ex-wife. That is some messy shit, Jey, you cold blooded kissing on that woman. #Jey&KaraHOF

@Roman0123 WrestleWorld stop spreading false news, Trin and Kara escorted Rikishi to his seat. Jey and Kara have been friends since they were kids. They are family regardless even if she divorced Roman, end of story. #Jey&KaraHOF

@Glowlove6 So what if they were kissing, ya’ll don’t know the half of what Kara went through with Roman. Do your research and good for you Kara, you deserve happiness. Plus, Jey loved her first, if anything Roman stole her from Jey.  #Jey&KaraHOF

@Usoluvsme That’s still messy sleepin’ with his cousin, damn she lookin for a come up since Jey popular now, straight up golddigger. Jey, better watch out. #Jey&KaraHOF

@Trinityglowsfans01 You do know Roman fucked her sister, had a kid with her while they were married, said sister then tried to kill Kara and Roman, right. Plus, Kara is graduating medical school soon. She doesn’t need Jey’s money, and her folks got money too.      

“Like how they know all this shit!” I wasn’t mad at Kara or even Jey, I’m mad at myself for fucking up. I allowed this to happen, but I also knew it wasn’t gonna be a secret forever that Jey was with Kara.

I hoped I got a chance to run into her to congratulate her on her upcoming graduation. She deserved all great things, and my investment in her paid off.

“Just get through this weekend and then you get a break,” I muttered putting down my phone to go grab a shower before bed.

----

WrestleMania Night One

Jey’s Dressing Room

Kara’s POV

“I want you to check baby. You been waiting on this,” Jey said as I sighed.

“It’s been a good week; I don’t want to bring down the mood. I’ll just check when I get home Tuesday.”

“Girl, if you don’t get on this computer and look at those results, I know something.” Trin scolded as Jey smiled.

“I don’t know why she trippin’ she studied her ass I off, I know she passed both of the tests.”

“Come on girl, check it,” Jimmy said rubbing my shoulder.

“Ok, I’ll just take a little peak,” I whispered logging in to check my results. I was hesitant to even click on the link.

“Come on.”

“Ya’ll just had your matches, literally still in your gear. We should be celebrating ya’ll not me.”

“Girl, I’m bout to do it for you, if you keep on,” Trin said making me laugh as she pulled out her phone and began recording.

“Really Trin.”

“Yes, now stop stalling.”

Jey nudged his head towards the computer letting me know it was no other option but to open my test results. Sighing, I clicked on the link and nervously began to read.

“Dear Ms. Morris, thank you for taking part two and three of the USMLE,” I mumbled as Jey and Trin peered over my shoulder trying to read as well.

“All this shit to read, I just need my scores.”

“Calm down baby, just read it.”

“Hell, I’m looking and don’t understand all of them medical words.” Trin said frowning at the computer screen.

Continuing to scroll down, I finally saw what we were all waiting for.

“I passed!” I screamed in shock, covering my face allowing my tears to fall.

“Yes! I knew it!” Jey shouted, hugging me as I sobbed.

“Yes, ma’am we in there, let’s go!” Trin cheered as I nodded truly overwhelmed that I always almost there. I couldn’t think of any better people to share this moment with than them.

“Aye, I’m proud of you,” Jimmy whispered giving me a hug.

“Thank you, brother.”

This has been the most amazing week, but I knew I had to finish out strong. Now I knew for a fact graduation was less than a month away officially.

Roman’s POV

I had to find Kara, I tried to play it off, but I saw Jey’s comment and I had to know was it true or was I reading too much into it.

I should have tried to find her earlier, but I had to meet with Cody, Dwayne and Seth to go over some last-minute changes. The main even went great and the crowd ate it up.

Heading through Gorilla, I was shocked Jimmy, Jey, Kara, and Trin were there waiting for me.

“Congrats Uce, ya’ll Killed it,” Jimmy said actually giving me a hug.

“Yea, ya’ll got them anxious for tomorrow and what’s going to happen next.”

“Speaking of that, I need to meet with ya’ll,” Paul said coming over as we all looked confused.

“Austin backed out, so we are running down something new. I’m adding in Jimmy, Jey and a few other surprises.”

“Oh, snap we in,” Jey said excited as Jimmy nodded in agreement.

“Meeting in thirty minutes in my office.”

“Roman, could I talk to you for a second?” Kara asked as I wiped the sweat off my face.

“Yea, sure I actually was gonna try to find you after my match.”

“We’ll leave ya’ll to it, I’ll meet you in the dressing room after the meeting,” Jey said without jealousy, giving her a kiss on the cheek before walking off with Jimmy and Trin.

We ended up going back to my locker room but stood outside the door. I didn’t want to push my luck, if I’m honest. Thankfully, the hall was empty, everyone was slowly filing out to get some rest and prepare to do this all over again tomorrow.

“Roman, I passed the second part of my USMLE so it’s official I graduate soon,” Kara said excitedly as gave her a short hug. “I’m very proud of you, I knew you could do it.”

“No matter how things ended, I couldn’t have done this without you and I’m thankful for all you’ve done to help me finish.”

“You don’t owe me anything except be a great doctor.” I didn’t want to make it awkward, but I had to know. “Thanks, Roman.”

“Uh, Kara I don’t mean to be nosey, but I saw Jey comment on Trin’s post. I-- Damn, I don’t even know how to ask because I know it ain’t my business.”

“Jey and I are married Roman.” I felt the air rush out of my lungs, he had married her. Looking at her ring finger I saw a tattoo. “So, ya’ll hidin’ it and you marking up your body with his initial’s n shit? What’s next his whole name on you somewhere?” I asked, my tone coming out more harshly than I intended grasping her hand and looking at the tattoo ring on her finger.

“No, we just don’t feel it’s nobody’s business until we are ready to share it.” We don’t owe the world, or you shit.” Kara said, snatching her hand away.

“Look I understand getting a tattoo to cover up the bullet hole, but putting someone’s name or initials on y-”

“Roman I’m trying to be nice, and we’ve been getting along. If you want to keep it that way, stop while your ahead.”

The warning was stern, and I knew I needed to calm down quick, fast, and in a hurry.  We were finally talking without it being awkward or forced. I didn’t want to lose her being apart of my life in any shape or form.

“Look, it just threw me for a loop when I saw his comment under Trin’s post. I’m really happy for you Kara, you deserve the world.”

“Roman, I don’t want the world; I never did. I just wanted to be happy and I finally am.” Her words cutting me to my soul, but if she was happy, then so was I.

I had did enough and cause enough damage to us both. Damage I thought would burden her for the rest of her life but I’m grateful it didn’t.

“If your happy, then that’s all that matters beautiful. I won’t tell anyone what you told me, it’s your business. Thank you for telling me.” I really was thankful because I heard it from her and not on the internet or from someone else.

“Even after everything, I would never blindside you Roman.  Now I know you gotta get ready for your meeting, so I’mma go. I just wanted to let you know about graduation and to tell you thank you.”

“You ain’t never got to thank me, after everything, I knew what I had to do and what you deserved.”

“Roman-”

“No, let me finish…..Kara you put so much into my career, you held me down when I was broke. You took care of me when I was sick, you put your dreams on hold to be with me.”

“I wanted to do that Roman, there are no debts between me and you. Even after everything that happened.”

 “I know it ain’t no debts, I gave you all that money because none of this would have even been possible without you. Kara, there is no Big Dog, or Tribal Chief without you.  And I knew as long as I had breath in my body you weren’t gon’ struggle or want for anything ever again.”

“Thank you,” Kara whispered surprising me when she wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me. I swear felt the weight of the world falling away as I hugged her back.

I had finally let it go…I would always love her, but I had let go and accepted my fate.

“I will always love you Kara, and I’m happy for you. I’ll always be here for you, and I just wanted you to know that.”  Wiping her tears, Kara gave me a small smile before she walked back towards the end of the hall.

Suddenly she stopped, turned and smiled at me once again. “No debts Roman, take care of Logan and be happy.” She said as I smiled back at her.

“No debts, Kara and I will.” With a nod Kara disappeared around the corner. I instantly felt my eyes watering as I turned the doorknob to go in my dressing room.

As soon as I closed and locked the door, I couldn’t hold it in anymore, silently weeping. I knew she would never forget everything that happened, but she forgave me…She showed me grace in my time of weakness, and it was time for me to forgive myself.

Yea, things weren’t how I wanted it or dreamed it to be, but life was going on and for the first time I was ok with my fate.

I had lost her, but I gained my Logan in the process.  I knew now my fate was to be the best father to her and everything else will fall in place…I knew it would.

New beginnings were on the horizon.

Jey’s POV

Roman was the last to arrive at the meeting and he looked to be somewhat in a daze but came around as we all talked about what was going to happen in the main even tomorrow.

I was amped myself; I was going to play a part in the main event. I felt like a kid listening to all the people who were going to get involved. Tomorrow night couldn’t come fast enough for me.

“So, Taker will be the last one out?” I asked making sure I had it right, poor Cody seemed to still be in shock realizing he was going over tomorrow.

“Yea, Taker is going to have an interaction with Rock, then Seth will get up and Roman will choose to hit Seth with the chair instead of Cody, costing him the match.”

“Oh, good call back to Seth being Cody’s shield,” Jimmy said as Roman smiled.

“I like it, the fans gone eat it up bad,” he chuckled as Paul seemed pleased with what we had come up with writing more notes down.

“Alright we’ll meet again tomorrow but for now ya’ll all rocked it tonight so go celebrate.” Dwayne said rubbing his shoulder.

“What’s the matter over there, Cuz?” Jimmy asked chuckling as I shook my head. He is so damn messy.

“Hell, you know Jim, I’m too old for this shit. I’m already sore as hell and we gotta do this again tomorrow,” he said as we all laughed.

After Paul adjourned the meeting and everyone began to leave, I noticed Roman still sitting.

“You alright, Uce?” I asked as he nodded finally standing up and walking towards me.

“Yea, I’ll be good by tomorrow, nice ring tat by the way,” he said with a small smile as I shut the door, to give us some privacy.

“Roman, I ain’t trying to argue…I know-”

“I ain’t arguing, Jey. I put it together after I saw your comment under Trin’s post, and I asked Kara.”

“I know you didn’t go in on her, did you? Because if you did-”

“I’m happy for ya’ll Jey.” Roman said barley above a whisper as I looked at him in shock.

“Huh…..”

“Kara told me that you made her happy, and as much as it hurt to hear it, that’s all I ever wanted for her.”

“That’s all I ever wanted too; and I love her.”

“Then take care of her,” Roman said extending his hand to me as I looked at him searching for any sign of dishonesty but found none.

As we shook hands, it felt different. It felt like we were finally starting to mend our relationship. We weren’t just putting up with each other for our family sake…

We were finally trying to heal and build back trust…..Ok Big G upstairs I see you working on us.

---

Philadelphia, PA

WrestleMania 41, Night Two

Roman’s POV

I was almost home free, after the meeting last night I went to get Logan from Ma. I kept her with me last night on the bus to give Ma a break but now she was running late. I had sat her up in a nice hotel suite, she deserved it and needed a break.

 Talking with Kara and Jey last night felt good, and I finally felt everything was falling into place.

“Daddy juice.” Logan said pulling on my leg. Putting my phone down I looked at her with a smile.

“Lo Lo wants to go get juice, huh?”

“Yea!” She yelled jumping up and down only stopping when she spotted Jey. I wondered how this was going to go especially since she just met him a couple weeks before a show.

 Before I could warn him, she took off towards him as fast as her little feet could move. “Jey!” She yelled running for him as he kneeled down to scoop her up in his arms as she squealed.

“Hey Lo, it’s good to see you,” he whispered holding her close. I felt even more guilty, he thought Logan was his and was preparing to be her father. I took that away from him and I still felt terrible about it.

“Sorry she is bothering you, I can take her,” I said as Jey frowned at me.

“Uce, I ain’t gone mistreat or turn her away if she comes up to me and speaks to me. Regardless of how it all went down, ya’ll both my family.”

“I don’t want nobody to be uncomfortable, Ma was supposed to get her, but she is running a little late.”

“You good, what got you so stressed? The meeting went good last night so what’s the problem?”

“I need to do a couple interviews and finish getting ready,” I said trying to think of how I was going to do everything I needed with my mom running behind.

“We got her Roman, go do what you need to do.” Kara said, coming up beside Jey as he looked at her in shock. I didn’t know what to say myself, I didn’t want to put her in that kind of position.

“Uh, it’s ok Kara, you don’t have to keep her.”

“Roman, go get yourself together, we got her. Text your mom and tell her to call me when she gets here and we will meet her,” Kara, said giving Logan a small smile.

“Tee Tee Kara, up, ” Logan said reaching for her as Kara’s eyes shot to me in shock as Logan wrapped her little arms around her.

“How does she-”

“Rebecca suggested we start showing Logan pictures of everyone, so she knows who her family is. We started before I started taking Logan to visit Tia.”

Kara nodded as Jey caressed her back. “You ok baby, I can get her back.” Jey said as Logan laid her head on Kara’s shoulder.

“Uh, no, it’s ok…Mom is right, I am her auntie,” Kara said looking at Logan. I felt like a true fucking heel…Even though I made peace with everything, I still know that in a perfect world this was supposed to be our daughter together and I fucked it up.

“Hey, Logan I’m your auntie,” Kara whispered as Logan seemed entranced by her. “Tee Tee pretty,” she said rubbing Kara’s cheek.

“Well so are you pretty girl.”

“Uce, go do what you need. We got her,” Jey reassured me as I looked at Kara.

“Are you sure?”

“Bye, Roman,” Kara said continuing to play with Logan as I looked back at Jey who waved me off but I still couldn’t move. I was too entranced watching Logan and Kara interact with each other.

Jey’s POV

Second by second, I watched in awe as Logan was breaking down the hard walls Kara had built to protect herself. I had met Logan at a smackdown show that I had to do a dark match at a couple weeks back.

 She was a beautiful child, and I couldn’t blame her for Roman and Tia’s mess.

I knew I had to let it go to actually move on. I knew Kara had done the same, but she still hadn’t dealt with the fact she had a niece that she hadn’t seen since the day she was born almost three years ago.

“I’ll be like an hour tops ya’ll. Hopefully Ma is on the way,” Roman said giving Logan a kiss on the cheek before finally leaving. I know he thinks I didn’t catch it but I saw the yearning in his eyes as he watch them.

Yea, I’mma have to keep a look out on that, I mean yea we made peace but I ain’t dumb.

“Hey, would you like to get some cookies?” Kara asked as Logan smiled. “Please.”

“A’ight lets go ya’ll,” I said guiding them to catering. Kara was quiet most of the time but was interacting with Logan adding in her two cents when the little girl would stop talking.

 It wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be, but I could tell Kara was deep in thought. I was glad they were bonding but I didn’t want her to feel like she had to do it.

 Janice finally made it about thirty minutes later and I could see the shock in Janice’s face as she came around the corner seeing Kara talking to Logan.

“Ya’ll traffic was a mess, I am so sorry,” Janice said coming up in a rush taking a seat next to Kara trying to catch her breath. “Janice breathe, we had her,” Kara said laughing as Janice looked at Logan sitting next to Kara eating her cookies.

“I see that..I just didn’t believe it…..Has she been any trouble?” she asked as Kara smiled. “Nah, she’s been a perfect little angel.”

“Grammy, I see Tee Tee!” Logan said pointing at Kara as Janice laughed reaching over and ruffled her hair.

“I see that and I’m very happy you got a chance to meet Tee Tee Kara. Do you need to try to potty before we watch daddy?”

“Yes, Grammy.”

“Alright, let’s go potty then little lady.” Janice said, taking a breath and standing up.

“Bye Logan, it was nice to meet you.”

“Bye Tee Tee,” she said throwing her little arms around Kara’s neck and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Janice whispered watching the exchange before picking up logan as she waved at me. “Bye Jey!”

“Bye Logan.”

I knew Kara was relieved that Janice was here. It was getting a little overwhelming for her. I could tell even though she was hiding it.

“Baby, are you ok?” I asked, wanting to know as she looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Yea, I’m ok.” Sighing, I got up and moved to sit beside her.

“Tell me what you thinkin’, Ma.”

“I am terrible, I never saw her. I let my anger for Tia and the hurt Roman caused block me from getting to know her.”

“Bae ain’t nobody blaming you for feeling how you felt. You had a right too, your life got turned upside down. How did you feel meeting her today?” I asked caressing her hand.

“I felt like someone reached in and snatched my soul when she looked at me and called me Tee Tee.”

“In a good way, or bad way?”

“Both…I felt horrible not being there for her knowing she has no mom. Then I felt a sudden joy when she called me Tee Tee, I am going crazy.” Kara said as I rubbed her back.

“No, you’re trying to come to terms with everything and ain’t nothing wrong with that baby.” I assured her as she seemed to be processing her feelings on the matter.

“I don’t see sleepovers and all of that happening, but I will acknowledge her and try to be less awkward when I see her. I’m going to be on the road with you sometimes and at family events. I’m bound to see her.”

“It will be ok when you see her again, stop sweatin’ it. You what I realized?”

“What?”

“Before you know it, we will have our own little Uces running round here,” I whispered in her ear as she blushed.

“I can’t wait to have babies with you.”

“Aye, I been trying to shoot the club up. That damn IUD hell, was stopping my soldiers from reachin’ they destination, I’m glad you got it out.”

“See I can’t with you.”

“What, I’m just being honest about wanting to have a baby with my wife.”

“Let’s just go so you can get ready to fall off the side of the stage. It’s almost time for the main event.”

“Why you say it like that?” I asked as Kara rolled her eyes at me, getting up.

“Because I think it’s stupid as hell and dangerous, that’s why. But you my man, and I’m your #1 fan, so I’mma stick beside you.”

“Well thank you for stickin’ beside me, that’s why I love you and married yo’ fine ass.” I whispered, making her laugh.

“I love you too, so please be careful.”

 “I will and everything is going to be fine, just trust me. Jimmy and I got it planned perfectly.” Putting my arm around her shoulder, I lead her to Gorilla so we could watch the rest of the show, and I could be in place for when it was my turn to interference in the main event.

“Ya’ll better Mr. Main Event, or me and Trin will kill you both.”

 Kara’s POV

Trin and I sat by Paul in Gorilla watching on the monitor as the guys had gone off to go over everything again.

I already knew it was going to be pure cinema, and seeing Rock, Taker, Cena, Jey, Jimmy, Cody, Solo, Seth and Roman sneaking off to go over the finish, I knew we were in for a treat.

“I’mma need you and Jey to stop playing and get married already,” Trin said as we looked at some of the pictures she had taken on her phone this week. “Aww, send me those, sis.”

 It definitely was a week of fun and we were able to squeeze in a lot of fun things outside of their WWE duties.

“I need to you get an Instagram at least, social media ain’t so bad.”

“So, you see us getting married, huh,” I said ignoring her Instagram talk, trying to change the subject. I really wasn’t an internet person so I would leave that to Jey and her.

 “Yes, I do and you going to have me some nieces and nephews.”

Whoo, if she only knew….

===========

One week Later

Pensacola State Prison

Roman’s POV

WrestleMania is in the books and I’m off for the next three or four months to try to ease Logan into a routine of seeing Tia once a week as well as trying to find a good daycare. I wanted to try to take some of the pressure off of Ma and allow her some alone time.

She has been my rock through all of this, but I can’t let her keep putting her life on hold.

Life for the moment is good, I just hate I agreed to this bullshit to bring Logan here. The only good thing that came from this is that Tia signed her rights over.

I’m just still confused as to how she all of a sudden wants to spend time with Logan.

What is she up too?

Maybe she wasn’t and I’m just still just somewhat reeling from Logan and Kara meeting during WrestleMania last week. It was not on my list of things happening this year but seeing Kara hold Logan made my heart ache.

Maybe she could be more apart of Logan’s life because bringing Logan here is seeming to do more harm than good.

“Hi sweetie, it’s your mom,” Tia said as Logan looked at her like she was a total stranger.  This was what I was afraid of, even though I showed Logan pictures of Tia she didn’t know her.

We have been visiting the prison once a week for the past month and Logan still wasn’t grasping Tia is her mother.

Then again, she recognized Kara and went willingly to her without any issue. “It’s ok Logan, it’s mommy.”

“Daddy,” her tiny voice whimpered clinging onto my leg. Sighing, I kneeled beside her. “I’m right here baby,” I soothed as she wrapped her arms around my neck and hid her face.

“What’s wrong with her Roman?” Tia asked as I looked at her like she was crazy. “She doesn’t know you Tia, it’s going to take time. She may never get comfortable with this.”

“You’ve turned her against me, all of you did. Tia accused as I had to bite my tongue to not say what I wanted. “Really, Tia after everything?”

 “You could have at least been showing her pictures of me or something.”

“I do show her pictures of you every night and explain who you are. Maybe it’s the vibe you’re bringing. Babies pick up on bad vibes,” I warned as she sighed.

“Fine, I will try to do better. She’s gotten so big.” Tia said caressing Logans hair as she held me tighter.  “Yes, she’s almost three, what do you expect, Tia,” I said somewhat harshly.

“I know and I’m trying to make up for it Roman if you just give me a chance.”

Hopefully this will get better, because if it doesn’t, I’m not going to keep putting Logan through this.

“We will try again next week and hopefully it will be a little better.”

“I hope so, I ain’t got nothing but time so I have no problem waiting for her to come around Roman.”

That’s the part I’m scared of, and I still feel like something is off.

--------

One Month Later

Harvard Medical School

Commencement ceremony

Jey’s POV

I was anxious and excited to see Kara receive her degree. She had done what she set out to do. The day was going great until Rebecca showed up and sat right next to bill.

“A’ight chill ya’ll I’m trying to hear.” I warned as Rebecca continued to push Bill’s buttons.

“This year’s graduates have special messages for their families, and we are allowing them if they choose to bring their children up with them. This is a major accomplishment and should be shared with those they love. Please cheer on every graduate and let’s enjoy this year’s commencement ceremony.”

“Ain’t nobody invited you Rebecca, why are you here?”

“You can’t block me out from her graduation, Bill. I’m her mother, I invited myself.”

“Man, can ya’ll be quiet I’m trying to hear. This ain’t bout ya’ll, this is Kara’s day,” I hissed. They were pissing me off, this was about Kara and not their damn drama.

“All I said is she should have told Kara she was coming instead of just popping up.”

“Now ain’t the time though, and if ya’ll can’t chill out you both can go.” Trin said as Bill moved from beside Rebecca.

“Thank you! Stop feeding into it and move.” Jimmy scolded as Trin shook her head.

“I don’t even know why you sat over there anyway,” I said moving so he could sit beside me.

“She sat beside me,” he hissed as I rolled my eyes. “So, you move…Don’t let her control your emotions Bill,” my mother whispered as Bill sat back trying to calm down.

The last couple months Bill had started the process of filing for a divorce and Rebecca is grasping at straws to try to keep him in the marriage.

“Rebecca sit there and chill out before I throw you over this balcony.”

“Don’t threaten me Tani, I know how to act.”

“Mama, let it go,” I whispered seeing it’s almost Kara’s turn to have her name called.

“How does this work?” Trin asked seeing they were skipping around. “They are calling by program, and degrees earned.”

“Ok, I was about to say they got my girl messed up, she supposed to be in line with the M’s,” Trin said taking pictures of Kara standing in line as Bill snickered shaking his head.

“There she is, look at her in her cap and gown.” Trin gushed as Kara nervously rubbed her hood.

“Still though, her last name Morris, we on the letter D on this program Trin,” Jimmy said as I shot him a look to shut the fuck up.

“Maybe don’t nobody last name starts with E through L, in this degree program Jimmy. Now hush, so I can hear,” I hissed as he smiled at me.

“Sure thing twin, even though-”

“Don’t worry about it Jimmy.” My mother said cutting him off with a smile.  “Just know Kara is where she’s supposed to be at in line, I can assure you,” mother said rubbing my knee trying to calm me down.

I felt nervous, like it was my graduation.

“Once again, these following graduates are receiving their degree in Doctor of Medicine and management.”

“Dr. Kara Fatu!” Dr. Kouper said as we all jumped up cheering her on. My heart filled with pride watching Kara walk across the stage, her beautiful bright smile on display.

I was so proud of her, after everything she had made it.

“Yes! That’s my sister!!!! Wait, what the hell did she say?!” Trin screamed, pausing in shock as Jimmy snickered rubbing her shoulder before continuing to cheer.

“Kara and twin done snuck and got married on us baby.”

“Oh my gosh Jurdy! I knew something was up!”

“Gon’ head sis, welcome to the family!” Jimmy yelled as I shushed them wanting to hear Dr. Kouper.

“Kara will be hooded by Dr. Stanly Moore.” I couldn’t image how that felt for Kara. Dr. Moore meant the world to her and was there from the beginning. He encouraged her throughout the years and even kept in touch when she left medical school for the first time.

“Yea, Dr. Fatu, you did that, Ma,” I whispered trying to hold it together as Dr. Moore placed the hood around her neck.

“Kara would love to thank her amazing husband Joshua, her parents, her sister Trinity, brother-in-law Jonathon, Roman, Dr. Moore and her other professors for their unwavering love and support.”

 I couldn’t contain it no more.

“You did it baby! I love you, Dr. Fatu!”  I screamed not caring about protocol in that moment. My girl was standing there looking like a goddess and was now a doctor.

“Yes! We love you, Kara!” Trin screamed as my mom laughed. “Lord, ya’ll gon’ get us kicked out.”

“Hell, it’s over with now, they done gave her that degree and hooded her, we can leave now.” Bill said wiping his tears.

Dr. Kouper smiled in our direction, giving us a few more seconds before handing Kara something and picking right back up from where she left off.

“Kara has deferred the start of her residency until February 2025 in pediatrics and internal medicine at Pensacola’s children’s hospital & Pensacola General Hospital. Kara also wanted us to help her share some amazing news with her husband and family in attendance."

“Oh my God, look!!!” Trin screamed as I looked up at the big screen in shock seeing Kara holding up a tiny onesie.

“Daddy’s #1 fan.” I read in shock, getting choked up as my mother hugged me. “Congratulations baby. I’m so happy for ya’ll.”

“I’mma be a daddy.” I said in disbelief.  

“Baby Fatu will be arriving Thanksgiving 2024, congratulations Kara and Joshua!”

“How about that, I’m about to be a paw paw again.”

“Yes!!! Auntie is on duty!” I heard Trin yell as I turned to look back at her still in shock as she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “Congratulations Brother.”

“Thank you, sister.” Looking back at the stage I saw Kara making her way back to her seat. “Congrats twin.”

“Thanks, bro.”

Like I couldn’t believe it, I was going to be a daddy…Like Kara and I made a baby. She was so worried she couldn’t have children because her and Roman tried so hard for years, but they couldn’t get pregnant.

“I can’t believe you did this to her! It wasn’t bad enough you rushed her into marriage. Now she’s pregnant, you did this on purpose and now she’ll never complete her residency.”

“Rebecca shut the hell up.” bill hissed as I put my hand on his shoulder. “I got it pops, first off, I married Kara because I love her. She ain’t never gotta worry about givin’ up anything for me. We in this together.”

“How is she going to fulfill her dreams now Joshua with a baby depending on her? She’s going to get attached, and never want to leave home.”

“Kara is going to do her residency, open up her practice and do everything she’s ever wanted to do if I gotta sit home while she does it.”

“Yea, right….Kara is going to be home alone stressing, and resenting you in the end.”

“Don’t assume you know our relationship based off the shit she went through with Roman and your life with Bill. I got Kara and she got me, end of discussion.”

Feeling myself about to lose it and cuss her ass out, I got up and moved to the end of the aisle.

“Josh, where you goin’ baby?”

“I’m going to wait for my wife at our designated meeting place to tell her how much I love her, and how happy I am.” I needed some air because we were about to get thrown out  if I stayed in there with Rebecca.

Kara’s POV

It was done, I was now Dr. Kara Fatu. It seemed time passed so fast as we stood to give the Declaration of Geneva before being dismissed.

Marching out of the auditorium I stepped outside taking a deep breath. “Kara, you did it…It was hard, but you did it,” I whispered overwhelmed. Not wanting to get lost in the sea of people I chatted with a few classmates before their families found them. We took a few selfies waiting for the crowd to move a little, people were everywhere.

The only thing I really wanted to do was hug my husband. Finally heading towards our meeting place, I was shocked to see my mother.

“Now wait a minute you ain’t gonna blame Josh for Kara wanting a break to live her life. These last two and half years been hell on her. Hell it's been rough on everyone especially with the shit you let Tia pu and your dirty lil secret," my dad said as I shook my head.

Damn, can we have one day where everybody gets along.

"Kiss my entire ass Bill."

"You gotta actually have an ass to kiss first off."

They really doing this now and why is she even here. I didn’t invite her. Making my way towards them I heard Jey standing his ground.

“I ain’t got time for you Rebecca I’m leave Bill alone. I'm looking for my wife to congratulate her,” Jey said before spotting me. With a smile and his arms stretched out wide, I ran to him.

“I did it!” I cried jumping in his arms.” I’m so proud of you baby."

"We did it" I cried tuning out everyone else but him, as he held me tighter.

"Oh shit, am I holding you too tight.”

“No, I’m ok,” I reassured him. The look of joy and love on his face was something I will remember forever as he put me down and I gave him the onesie. “Congratulations Daddy.”

 “I can’t believe this; we made a baby,” Jey said in disbelief now caressing my stomach.

“We did, and I can’t wait to meet him or her. Our lips met in a gentle kiss as the realization really hit us, we were really going to be parents.

“I hate I have to share you with everybody right now.” I hated it too and he was right. As soon as he released me from his arms, Trin came over.

“Girl, give me a hug! You done gagged me for today.” Smiling, I gave Trin a long hug both of us laughing when Jimmy joined in. “Sister-in-law welcome to the family.”

“I’m sorry, ya’ll we just wanted to wait a little while before we told anyone.”

“It’s’ ok I’m so happy for ya’ll and I’m about to be a whole auntie out here in these streets,” Trin gushed as my dad came towards us.

“My baby is a doctor, let me see her,” my dad gloated as I gave him a hug and then Ma Fatu.

“So nobody is gonna ask Kara why she would do this to herself?” My mother asked as I rolled my eyes.

“No what we want to ask you why you ain't congratulated your daughter?” Jimmy asked pointing out my mother’s attitude.

"And what exactly did I do to myself mama, besides finally living my life for me?"

“Kara, I just can't--- You really got married and didn’t tell me? I would have been there. You’re pregnant, like what were you thinking?”

 “Well, I didn’t want you here mama, and I thought that was made crystal clear since we haven’t talked since I told dad what you did.

“Kara-”

“I married Josh because I love him…I’m having his baby because that is our dream, and it doesn’t concern nobody but me and him.”

Seeing how serious I was she changed her tune. “I’m sorry, it all just hit me at once that you got married and about to have a baby. I got scared you were giving up on your dreams again.”

 The look of shame on her face wasn’t lost upon me. I got it and understood it, but it wasn’t her place especially after all she had done.

“I’m not givin’ up nothing, Ma. You ain’t gotta worry about me.”

“Um, so how long have ya’ll been married?” Trin asked changing the subject as Jey smiled. “It’s been about five months, sis.”

“So right after the trial, you made an honest woman out of her, huh?” Jimmy joked as my mother sighed, pulling me into a hug.

It was awkward to say the least. “I know you didn’t invite me, but I wanted to show you I’m serious about us working this out. I love you and I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you for coming.”

“How far along are you sweetie?”

“I’m three months along, Ma. I found out a couple days ago when I went for my checkup.” My mother frowning, hearing me call Jey’s mom, Ma.  

“I can’t believe this shit-”

“Hush, it don’t matter what you believe Rebecca,” my dad said rubbing my back.

“Well, you gon’ be sick of me, cause I’mma stay doin’ this,” Jey said rubbing my stomach as I laughed.

“I would never.”

“Hey baby, it’s yo’ daddy.”

“Oouu! I can’t wait to shop for baby clothes,” Trin said as I saw my mother looking very uncomfortable.

“Well let’s get some pictures with Dr. Fatu,” my dad said somewhat breaking the ice as we all posed for a few photos.

Regardless of how my mom felt, today was a good day and she wasn’t going to spoil it for me.

Roman’s POV

I had come to Kara’s graduation and sat where nobody could see me. I felt I had to be here and the joy on Kara’s face was something I’m happy I got to see in person. The news about the baby stunned me, as if I needed even more proof we weren’t meant to be together anymore.

“Daddy, see Tee Tee,” Logan said pointing at Kara who was taking a picture with auntie Tani.

“No baby, we just came to cheer her on. I don’t want to bother her because she’s really busy right now.”

“Ok daddy,” Logan said sadly. I knew it was for the best, I didn’t want things to be even more awkward than Kara’s mother was. That was cringe watching from afar because I know she was probably showing her ass.

Feeling a hand on my shoulder I tensed. “Aye, it’s just me, Uce,” realizing it was Jimmy the nervous tension left my body.

“Hey, we were just leaving, I just wanted to support Kara on her graduation day.”

“Hey, lil mama it’s nice to meet you,” Jimmy said kneeling down as Logan gave him a hug.

Damn, she really recognizes and likes everyone but her own mother.

“Tee Tee win Wimmy,” Logan said as Jimmy chuckled. “She sure did.”

“Sorry, she has a little trouble with her J’s.”

“I knew what she meant, and I think it’s cute, so why ya’ll hidin’ over here.”

“I wanted to support Kara; I was planning to come over there but hearing about the baby, i’m still a little stunned.”

“I can understand that, and I know she would too,” Jimmy said standing up with Logan as she put her head on his shoulder.

“She’s going to be an amazing mom and I’m just happy for her. I’m happy for both of them, it just still stings a lot.”

“Well, I ain’t pushin’, they think I went to the bathroom and that’s the story I’m sticking with,” he said looking around at the crowd starting to thin out, passing Logan back to me.

“Tell Jimmy see you later.”

“See you later,” she said blowing him a kiss. “Bye Logan, I’ll see you soon.” The bright smile on her face as he blew her a kiss back let me knew then and there Jimmy was going to be her partner in crime as she got older.

Logan and I quietly slipped away unnoticed and went back to the car.

“Mr. Reigns anywhere else you would like to go?”

“Uh, can you find us an ice cream shop before we head back to the airport.”

“Yay! Ice cream!”

I knew she was going to be bouncing off the walls of the jet, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. After setting up Logan's ipad, I pulled out my phone to see had Trin or Jey posted any pictures on Instagram. I knew Jimmy hadn't, his ass might as well not have Instagram since he never posts.

Trin hadn't posted anything yet. "Damn, you slippin' Trin." Heading to Jey's page, I saw he hadn't put any photos up from the ceromony but had just made an apreciation post in honor of Kara.

It was a photo of Kara in her wedding gown, on the beach.

In this moment I had to agree with Jey and I don't do that much.

Life was good.

----

Two Weeks Later

Pensacola State Prison

Rebecca’s POV

“What do you mean you can’t help me?!” Tia hissed as I sat with her in the family visiting room. “I ain’t being an accessory to this Tia, it ain’t right.”

“Look, all you gotta do is come to the hospital. I’ll make a scene when they try to take me for a CT scan. I will ask can you go in with me and I’ll handle the rest.”

“I can’t Tia, and I won’t. You’re on your own.”

“I already have it all worked out and I promise if you help me, you’ll never see me again.”

 “Tia-”

“Look just think about it, its months away anyway, this type of thing takes planning. I’m only going to have one chance, and I got to make it count.”

“Where are you planning to go Tia?”

“Far away, that’s all you need to know. Now are you going to help me or not?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Then I guess we got nothing else to discuss, you ain’t gotta worry about visiting me ever again.”

“Tia, I love you, but you are going to get yourself killed and I’m not going to watch you do it.”

“I don’t need you, but you’re going to be sorry. I promise you will.”

Standing up I looked at my daughter and for the first time I realized she was a lost cause…My child was a lost cause that couldn’t be saved.

“Just leave then, and tell Kara I’m happy she got everything like she always does. I mean she finally got knocked up right, even married Josh. I saw that little post he made on instagram.

“Tia, leave Kara alone and how do you even have a phone in here?”

“I have my ways, guard I’m ready to go back to the yard,” Tia said smugly standing up as well.

“Tia, I’m tellin’ you, leave Kara be!”

“I’ll see ya’ll soon, Ma..Just remember no matter what you do from here on out, I'll always be two steps ahead of you.”

"You're going to get yourself killed."

"Well, lucky me, cause' I ain't afraid to die."

Her statement chilling me to my soul as I left her alone in the visiting room. She was just too far gone, and I knew what I had to do.

Waiting until I got to the front, I politely went over to a guard. “Um, excuse me, I have some information that I need to tell the warden. A prisoner is trying to plan an escape.”

“Ma’am come with me.”  Leading me into a somewhat small conference room I felt closed in and nervous.

Yea, I could never do prison time, I ain’t built for it at all.

 “Just have a seat if you’d like and I’ll fetch the warden for you.” As the guard disappeared, I couldn’t help but pace, my nerves were getting the better of me.

“I just can’t let this go on anymore. Continuing to pace, I couldn’t help but think about Logan, Kara, and the baby. I couldn’t let her hurt them; I would die first.

Kara and I were trying to work on our relationship, I knew we had a long way to go but I knew the first step was finally choosing her.

This time and for the rest of my life I’m choosing her, even if it kills me.

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[alwaysmicado]

The Bunny

7.1k | 18+ MDNI | Nathan Bateman x f!reader

Nathan Bateman Masterlist | AO3

Warnings: emotional hurt/comfort, soft(ish) Nathan, mild smut, alcohol, drunk Nathan being horny, emotionally repressed idiots in love Summary: When you’re distressed over something very personal, Nathan shows you a side of himself that you haven’t seen before. A/N: This story can be read alone or together with my other Nathan fics. In my mind, this is the same reader as in predator & prey, in control, Fleshlight and smile, baby—but it doesn't have to be. Happy reading & let me know what you think! 🤍 Dividers by the wonderful @/cafekitsune.

Your life with Nathan is an exercise in contradiction. 

It’s like orbiting a distant star—searing heat one moment, icy indifference the next. 

You hate that you find him attractive, hate that his arrogance somehow draws you in, but you can’t help it. He has an irresistible pull on you. You don’t understand him, and that’s part of the problem.

One minute, he’s a brilliant visionary; the next, a drunken, whiny mess. And somehow, amidst the confusion, you’ve found yourself craving his touch more than anything else in the world.

You’re not dating, not in any traditional sense. The boundaries of your relationship blur after dark, but you’ve seemingly found a rhythm that works for both of you. And that rhythm entails staying out of each other’s personal business. 

What you have is casual. At least, you’ve convinced yourself it is.

Sometimes, when he’s being particularly infuriating, you wonder if it’s just stress relief for both of you; fucking your frustrations into each other simply because you’re both there. Other times, you catch yourself overthinking every little detail, wondering if you’re falling for him, and if so, whether it’s the man or the enigma you’re falling for.

You try not to think about it too much.

He has this way of getting under your skin though. It could be the way he lazily sprawls across a couch, his eyes half-lidded but alert, or how he dismisses your concerns with a casual wave of his hand, expecting you to move on as if nothing he says or does affects you. But you do care. It does affect you.

And it annoys you how much.

Tonight, after a long day of work, you retreat to your room, needing space for yourself. Nathan’s house is a labyrinth of technology and luxury you’ve come to really love and appreciate for its unique design and remoteness, but there’s a particular, strange comfort in the sterile, minimalistic walls leading to your bedroom. They don’t judge, don’t ask questions. They don’t look at you with the unsettling intensity that Nathan sometimes does.

You close your door, leaning against it as you exhale. Your room is your sanctuary, cluttered with things that feel out of place in Nathan’s stark, clinical world. Books, trinkets, and your beloved bunny plushie resting against your pillow, a remnant of simpler times. A remnant of that wide-eyed girl with ambitions and a thirst for adventure who vowed to get the hell out of that miserable town.

Well, that girl is grown up now. And she’s exhausted, more mentally than physically.

You’re struggling to keep up with your deadlines, rationalizing your work, and the overwhelming feeling that you don’t deserve to be here, that Nathan made a mistake when he selected you, that you’re simply not cut out for this life. 

You take a deep breath and decide to put on your comfiest pants and a soft shirt, get into bed and read a bit while sipping on a warm cup of tea. Yeah. That’s what your soul needs right now. No Nathan, no androids, no computers, no nothing. Just you and your favorite Kazuo Ishiguro book.

But then, as you reach for the mug on your nightstand to empty the leftover coffee from this morning, your hand slips. The coffee spills, soaking the sheets, and worst of all, your bunny. The dark liquid seeps into his white fur, staining the once soft, clean fabric.

You freeze and a moment of pure, unfiltered horror grips you. You don’t hear the mug shattering on the floor over the sound of your blood rushing in your ears. The sight of the plushie, now a soggy mess, tugs at something deep inside you as you stare at it through watery eyes. It’s not rational, you know that, but emotions seldom are. It feels as though a part of your childhood has just been desecrated.

You’re devastated. 

The kind of devastation that tightens your chest, that makes everything inside you twist until you’re sure you’re going to break. You try to swallow it down, to contain the storm brewing inside, but it spills over before you can stop it.

And before you know it, you’re screaming. 

It’s a scream born of frustration, from the sudden surge of emotion that you can’t quite name, let alone control. It’s raw, primal, echoing off the cold, sterile walls outside and traveling through every inch of the house. The kind of scream that demands attention, that insists the world recognize your pain, even if you don’t fully understand it yourself.

You barely register the thudding of footsteps—heavy, quick, purposeful. Nathan. Of course it’s him. He’s always watching, always listening, probably heard you through one of his countless surveillance cameras. In a place like this, your privacy is an illusion, your every move monitored, recorded, dissected.

And now, your pain has become just another blip on his radar.

He’s probably annoyed, you think bitterly. Annoyed that he had to stop whatever important work he was doing in his lab because he can’t have you screaming and crying and possibly bleeding out in his house.

Nathan doesn’t tolerate messes, especially not emotional ones. And with the hangover he’s likely nursing, his patience is probably thinner than usual. You imagine him wincing at the sound, the way it cuts through the quiet, sharp and unrelenting, aggravating his already pounding head.

The door rattles as he reaches it, and you can almost picture the irritated expression on his face, the way his brow furrows, his jaw tightening. In that moment, you hate him for it, hate him for the way he can reduce you to a problem to be solved, an inconvenience to be managed.

But there’s a part of you, the part that’s still trembling from the force of your own scream, that’s also desperate for him to come in, to see you, to make it better, even though you know he won’t.

Because Nathan Bateman doesn’t do comfort. He does control. And in this moment, you’re the one thing in his world that’s slipping out of it.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” His voice is a mixture of concern and impatience.

You don’t answer, your heart still pounding, your hands shaking as you hold your bunny close, trying to assess the damage. It feels ridiculous, absurd even, but the sight of your beloved plushie, soaked and stained, has shattered something fragile inside you. You can’t explain it, don’t want to explain it, especially not to him.

Nathan knocks again, harder this time, more insistent. “Open up. Now.”

“I’m fine!” you shout back, but the words catch in your throat, betraying you with their shaky delivery. You try to sound convincing, but you’re not sure if you’re trying to convince him or yourself.

“Sure doesn’t sound like it,” he retorts. “Let me in.”

You glance at the door, knowing that if he wanted to, he could override the lock. But you also know he won’t—at least not yet. He respects boundaries, in his own twisted way.

“Are you hurt?” he asks, and there’s a softer edge to his voice now, an undercurrent of genuine worry that catches you off guard. The knot in your chest tightens.

“What? No, I’m– I said I’m fine, Nathan. Just...leave me alone.” The plea slips out, your voice trembling, betraying how much you just want to be left in peace, to sort yourself out without being interrogated.

“I’m not doing that until you tell me what’s wrong. You can’t scream bloody murder and expect me not to–”

“I’m sorry.”

Nathan pauses for a moment, stumped. This isn’t good. This isn’t like you. “You don’t need to apologize,” he says, his tone calmer now, almost coaxing. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

“It’s nothing, I’m sorry.” The words come out rushed, panicked, like you’re trying to escape from the truth that’s threatening to spill over. But you know you’re not convincing him; you’re not even convincing yourself.

There’s a heavy silence on the other side of the door, and you can almost feel Nathan grappling with how to handle this. Then, he says your name—softly, but with a depth that pierces right through your defenses. It’s a tone of voice you’ve only ever heard a couple of times after some particularly demanding play sessions.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

You close your eyes and take a shaky breath before responding. “I’m okay, Nathan. Just please…leave.”

You hate how weak you sound, how vulnerable, but you’re too overwhelmed to care anymore. You just need him to go, to give you space to fall apart in peace.

There’s a pause, a silence so thick you can almost hear the gears turning in his mind. You almost think he’s left, but then you hear the sound of him leaning against the door, the quiet sigh that follows.

“Fine,” he says finally, his voice lower now. “I’m, uh, in the lab if you...I’m working on Lana’s muscle tissue if you wanna help.”

His words hang in the air, an unexpected offer, awkwardly delivered. You can picture him on the other side, running a hand through his beard, trying to figure out how to navigate this unfamiliar territory.

Nathan Bateman, the genius, the mastermind, suddenly uncertain.

After a moment of continued silence, he steps back, respecting your wish. The concern, however, doesn’t leave his mind. His footsteps fade, leaving you alone with the mess you’ve made. The room feels colder, emptier, as if the walls themselves have drawn back in silent judgment. You slump down onto the bed, staring at your poor bunny, your fingers tracing the wet patches on his fur. 

For a second, you could swear you see disappointment in his glassy, button eyes.

The digital alarm clock on your nightstand blinks back at you as you wake up from your nap, showing that it’s well into the evening, the sky outside already swallowed by darkness.

The adrenaline that had surged through you earlier has long since dissipated, leaving behind a hollow, drained feeling in its wake. It’s as if the very act of screaming, of letting that raw emotion pour out of you, has stripped you of energy, leaving you brittle, fragile.

You know you should take a shower and change the sheets, but the thought of moving feels overwhelming. So you sit there, numb, your mind replaying the events of the past few days on a loop.

Eventually, it’s not resolve or determination that drives you to get up, but hunger. A dull, persistent gnawing that you can’t ignore. You drag yourself out of bed, each step feeling heavier than the last as you make your way to the bathroom to clean up at least a little bit.

The house is quiet as you make your way to the kitchen, the usual hum of activity subdued, as if it too is holding its breath.

When you enter the living room, Nathan is already there, seated at the table, a glass of red wine in hand. The rich burgundy liquid swirls lazily in the glass as he tilts it, the glow of the ceiling lamps casting a soft, golden light that highlights the curve of his nose.

His expression is unreadable at first, his usual mask of casual detachment firmly in place. But as his eyes land on you, taking in your disheveled appearance—your eyes red-rimmed and swollen, your gaze fixed on anything but him—something in his demeanor shifts. He’s never seen you cry outside of sex, and the sight unsettles him more than he’s willing to admit.

Nathan isn’t a man who deals well with vulnerability, especially not when it comes from someone like you, someone he’s come to rely on for your sharp mind and quick wit. But now, seeing you like this, raw and exposed, something inside him stirs—a protective instinct he didn’t know he had, and isn’t sure he wants.

“Didn’t expect to see you tonight,” he remarks, his tone light, but there’s an undercurrent of something else—concern, maybe? It’s hard to tell with him.

You shrug, avoiding his gaze as you grab a plate from the counter and start dishing up whatever’s left from dinner. You’re not really hungry, but the act of eating feels like something normal, something grounding.

Nathan watches you in silence, his gaze heavy. You can feel it, like a weight on your shoulders. You sit down at the table, focusing intently on your food, though it might as well be cardboard for all the flavor it has. You avoid eye contact, keeping your gaze fixed on your plate or the glass in front of you, anything to avoid meeting those piercing eyes that seem to see too much. The fork in your hand feels foreign, and every bite is a chore. You down three glasses of red wine in quick succession, the warmth spreading through you in an attempt to numb the edge of your anxiety.

But even the wine can’t drown out the tension simmering just beneath the surface.

Nathan starts talking, his voice filling the space between you. He launches into a detailed explanation of the progress he’s made with his newest creation, his words laced with the usual excitement he reserves for his work.

Normally, you’d be right there with him, diving into the technicalities, challenging his ideas, offering your own insights. It’s what you do—it’s what makes you a great team. But tonight, it’s different. Occasionally, you nod or murmur a soft “hmm,” but it’s clear that your heart isn’t in it.

You’re not there with him—not really—and it’s obvious.

“...so close to healing itself, I’m telling you. The polymers have shown to be extremely resilient–” he hesitates mid-sentence, as if waiting for you to jump in, to offer the insight that usually comes so naturally to you. But when you don’t, when the silence stretches on longer than it should, he falters.

He looks at you, then at Kyoko standing obediently in the background, then back at you.

“Kyoko, leave us alone,” he instructs the mute android, his eyes tracking her as she leaves the room. Once the door clicks shut behind her, he doesn’t waste a second. “What’s wrong?”

You don’t look at him, poking at your food with a deliberate slowness, hoping he’ll drop it. “No–”

“Don’t say nothing, this isn’t nothing,” he interrupts, his voice firm, leaving no room for evasion.

You stiffen, your fork clattering against your plate as you glare at him. “Why do you care?”

He raises an eyebrow, unfazed by your sharp tone. “Because you screamed like someone was murdering you. And now you’re sitting here looking like a kicked puppy. So yeah, I care.”

“I don’t wanna tell you. How about that?” You lift your head, forcing a condescending smile that feels like a shield, one you hope will keep him at bay.

Nathan’s jaw tightens slightly, but he doesn’t back down. “And I can’t have you crying and moping around. It’s…distracting.”

“Well, I’m sorry for distracting you, Nathan,” you bite back, the sarcasm dripping from your words. “It won’t happen again.”

A beat passes, and in that moment, you can see the gears turning in his mind as he tries to piece together what he could have done to upset you this time. His thoughts race, quickly scanning through recent interactions, searching for any sign, any clue that might explain why you’re so distant, so...off.

Nothing stands out. You’ve always been able to hold your own, not easily shaken by his brusque nature or single-minded dedication to his projects. But then, his mind lands on a familiar concern—something that’s come up before. It’s the only thing that makes sense. 

“You’re not jealous ‘cause of Lana, are you?”

You snort, the sound more bitter than amused. The idea is so absurd that it doesn’t even warrant a full laugh.

But Nathan isn’t laughing. His eyes narrow slightly, his usual sharp gaze honing in on you with unsettling precision. He studies you carefully, analyzing every microexpression, every subtle twitch of muscle that might give away what you’re really feeling.

His gaze travels slowly, deliberately, from your face down to your neck, lingering there for a moment before moving to your arms. You have a couple of visible bruises from last night, but that’s to be expected given the way you and Nathan play. 

But now…now he’s wondering if he might have crossed a line without realizing it, if he pushed too far and you’re too proud to speak up.

“Was I too rough yesterday?” he asks suddenly, his voice low.

“Huh?” The question throws you off, the abrupt shift in his tone catching you by surprise.

“Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?” There’s a faint line of guilt etched across his brow, a rare sight.

You stare at him, your eyes narrowing with a mix of frustration and weariness. Shaking your head, you let out a sigh, the exasperation clear in your voice.

“I know this is a difficult concept for you to grasp, but the universe actually doesn’t revolve around you,” you say, your tone resigned, almost tired. “There’s more to life than androids, having sex with androids, having sex with me, or even you and me as people. It’s all meaningless bullshit, Nathan.”

Nathan blinks, momentarily taken aback by the bluntness of your words. He tilts his head slightly, studying you as if trying to decipher whether you’re serious or if this is just another one of your biting remarks. “Are you okay?”

You let out a small, bitter laugh, a wry smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. The irony of your own dramatic outburst isn’t lost on you, and you can’t help but shake your head at the absurdity of it all. As you down the rest of your wine in one quick gulp, the warmth of the alcohol does little to dull the edge of your emotions.

“No. No, I’m not.”

Nathan leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “Then tell me what happened. Might help.”

You bite your lip, frustration bubbling up again. “I can’t. It’s dumb.”

You brace yourself for the inevitable snide remark, for Nathan to dismiss your feelings with some cynical observation about the meaningless nature of the universe, to reduce your pain to just another inconsequential blip in the grand scheme of things.

But he doesn’t. Instead, he surprises you.

He leans back further, his posture more relaxed, his gaze steady as it locks onto yours. “Not if it makes you this sad. Come on, talk to me.”

There’s no condescension, no sarcasm, just an unexpected patience that catches you off guard. For a moment, you just stare at him, searching his face for the usual smugness, the mask of indifference he wears so well. But it’s not there. Instead, there’s something else, something gentler, and it stirs something inside you that you’ve been trying to suppress for some time now.

You sigh, feeling the fight drain out of you as the weight of the day catches up. “It’s stupid, Nathan. You’ll think it’s stupid.”

He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t rush you. “Try me.”

You absentmindedly play with your napkin as you decide to rip the bandaid off. “I spilled coffee on my bunny.”

“You spilled coffee on your bunny,” he repeats slowly, as if trying to understand.

“Yeah.”

“What’s the big deal? It’s not like you don’t have other vibr–”

You roll your eyes, secretly amused by his thought process. “It’s not a fucking vibrator.”

“Okay, but unless you’ve been secretly building an AI rabbit, I don’t–”

“It’s a plushie.”

“A plushie.”

“Yeah, my bunny Cinnamon. I’ve had him since I was fourteen and he’s been with me through school and my whole adult life and through everything. I’ve always taken care of him, making sure he doesn’t get dirty, and today I spilled my stupid fucking coffee that I don’t even like ‘cause you buy these stupid beans no normal human would ever like, and I spilled it on him and it soaked into his fur, and now he’s ruined ‘cause I’m a clumsy fucking loser who can’t even take care of an inanimate object.”

You finish your rant, raising an eyebrow. “Happy?”

Nathan looks at you with a furrowed brow, clearly taken aback. For a moment, you think he’s going to laugh, and you hold his gaze, ready for the ridicule you’re sure is coming.

But he doesn’t laugh. He just stares at you, a mixture of confusion and...something else in his eyes. “Why don’t you just clean it?”

You push your chair back abruptly, the legs scraping against the floor, and stand up, feeling the heat of embarrassment creeping up your neck. “Forget it. This was stupid. I’m going to bed.”

You turn to leave, but before you can take a step, Nathan’s hand is on your arm, his grip firm but not painful. “Wait.”

You stop, not turning around, not trusting yourself to face him.

“Hey,” he says, softer this time. “I’m not...I’m not making fun of you, okay? I just...didn’t expect that.”

You glance back at him, and the look on his face is so uncharacteristically sincere that you actually believe him. He looks almost...concerned. Genuinely concerned.

“It’s just a plushie,” you mutter, feeling foolish for letting him see you like this. But Nathan doesn’t let go of your arm.

“Maybe. But it obviously means something to you.” He hesitates, then adds, “Let me help.”

You stare at him, unsure of how to respond. This is new territory—Nathan offering to help with something so personal, something so seemingly insignificant in the grand scheme of things. This isn’t part of your job description, nor is it part of your usual dynamic. You’re not sure how to feel. 

“What do you mean ‘help’?”

Nathan smirks, that familiar cocky edge returning. “I could make Cardamom or whatever his name is–”

“It’s Cinnamon,” you interject, your tone flat but with a trace of amusement that you can’t quite suppress.

“–play the piano or explain particle physics to you if I wanted to,” he continues without missing a beat. “You think I can’t clean him up?”

You sigh. Can’t argue with that.

“Okay,” you say finally, your voice softer now. “But you can’t be too rough with him. His fur is very delicate.” The words come out more vulnerable than you intended, and you can feel the weight of what you’re entrusting him with.

“That’s why I’ve avoided washing him—I’m scared he’ll get damaged in the process. And be extra careful with his right ear. My grandma had to sew it back on a couple of times, and it’s barely hanging on.”

You pause, looking deeply into his eyes before you add, “And I know you probably think there’s no way I’d ever figure out you replaced him, but I swear I will. And I swear I’ll smother you with a pillow in your sleep if you do.”

Nathan’s smirk fades slowly, replaced by an expression that’s surprisingly serious. He nods, meeting your gaze with a sincerity that’s rare for him. “I won’t. I promise.”

For a long moment, neither of you says anything. Then, you pull your arm from his grip, feeling the warmth of his touch linger even after you’ve stepped away. You nod towards the hallway. “I’ll go get him.”

Nathan nods, his eyes following you as you leave the kitchen. Once you’re out of sight, he exhales deeply, the tension in his shoulders releasing slightly. He pours himself another glass of wine, the liquid sloshing into the glass, and without hesitation, he chugs it down in one go.

The quiet of the night wraps around you, a stark contrast to the tension that has filled the kitchen just moments ago. The sound of your footsteps crunching on the gravel path is the only thing that breaks the silence as you start walking, letting the night sky and the crisp air clear your mind.

The stars above are faint, blurred by the ambient light of the house, but their presence is calming. You shove your hands into your pockets, trying to steady your breathing, to let the chaos in your head dissipate with each step you take.

The trees rustle softly in the wind, their branches swaying gently, and you find a rhythm in their movement, letting it guide you further away from the house, from Nathan, from everything.

As you walk, the tension in your chest begins to ease. The cool air feels like a balm on your frayed nerves, each breath you take helping to untangle the mess of emotions swirling inside you. The doubts, the worries, the unexpected tenderness of Nathan’s promise—all of it seems to drift away, carried off by the breeze.

You pause for a moment, looking up at the sky. The vastness of it makes your concerns feel small, insignificant, like a tiny piece of a much larger puzzle. And yet, your feelings of inadequacy still weigh on you, lingering in the back of your mind.

The walk brings a sense of clarity, a chance to distance yourself from the intensity of your worries, your stress, your fears. You needed this—to step away, to breathe, to remind yourself of who you are outside of everything that’s been happening. The steady rhythm of your footsteps, the coolness of the air, and the quiet solitude of the night slowly bring you back to yourself.

As you step inside, the house is cloaked in a quiet stillness, the dimmed lights casting soft shadows across the sleek decor. There’s a warmth to it that you hadn’t noticed before, a subtle comfort in the way everything is arranged, each detail meticulously chosen. It feels like home. It sounds strange, even to yourself, but it does.

This is your home.

You find Nathan lounging on the couch in his sweatpants, a beer in hand, the television on but muted, the flickering images washing his features in soft, rhythmic light. There’s a stillness to him, a calm that contrasts sharply with the man you’re used to—a man of constant motion, always thinking, always creating.

The scene is oddly serene, almost peaceful, and you take a moment to just look at him, to take in the man who has become such a pivotal part of your world.

It’s strange to think about how much has changed in the past year. How this man, with all his brilliance and flaws, has shown you a life you couldn’t have dreamed of before.

Empty bottles litter the table, evidence that he’s been going at it since you left an hour ago, either lost in his thoughts or deliberately trying to drown them. It’s hard to tell with Nathan.

You sit down beside him, feeling the tension in your body ease further as you settle into the familiar proximity.

Nathan glances at you, his eyes briefly scanning your face before he wordlessly offers you the bottle. You take it, the cold glass a comforting weight in your palm, and bring it to your lips. The cool liquid slides down your throat, its familiar taste bringing a sense of comfort.

“Feeling better?” Nathan asks, his voice rough around the edges.

“Yeah,” you nod, handing him the bottle. 

You shrug off your jacket, draping it over the arm of the couch, and you catch the way Nathan’s eyes immediately track the movement. His gaze lingers on the way your tight shirt clings to your curves, the fabric accentuating every line, every contour of your body.

It’s a work of art, and Nathan knows a thing or two about art—about bodies, creating bodies, perfecting them in ways that only a mind like his can. But as he looks at you, he’s aware that no creation of his, no flawless android, could ever compare to the real thing. To you.

There’s something different in his gaze tonight, a quiet intensity that makes your breath hitch. He shifts beside you, setting the bottle aside as he turns to face you more fully. “Come here,” he says, his voice low, almost a whisper.

Your eyes lock with his, and for a moment, you hesitate. But the pull between you is irresistible, a magnetic force that’s seemingly always been there, drawing you together. You move over, straddling his lap as his hands find their way to your back, sliding down to your ass, pulling you in until every inch of you is pressed against him.

His touch is familiar, but tonight it feels different—deliberate, meaningful, loaded with intent.

He inhales deeply, his nose tracing the delicate line of your neck, his beard tickling you, his breath warm against your skin. The sensation sends a shiver down your spine, and you can’t help but sigh softly, your hips moving instinctively against him, seeking relief from the growing heat pooling low in your belly. The hardness of his erection pressing against you only intensifies the need building inside you, the ache that demands to be satisfied.

Nathan’s hands roam your back, his fingers tracing the curve of your spine with a touch that’s both soothing and electrifying. When his lips find yours, the kiss is soft at first, tentative, but the hesitation doesn’t last long. The kiss deepens quickly, becoming more insistent, more demanding, making your head spin.

You’re both growing impatient quickly, the need for each other driving you to the brink. Hips bucking, teeth biting, lips sucking—you’re lost in the all-consuming sensation that is Nathan, in the desperate hunger that consumes you both. 

He grips the fabric of your shirt and pushes it up over your breasts, leaning in immediately to suck on your nipples, teasing, flicking, teeth grazing your sensitive skin, while his hands knead your flesh, pinching, groping, biting with a fervor that sends jolts of intense pleasure coursing through you. 

Unable to hold back any longer, he releases your breast with a wet pop, his breath ragged as he crashes his lips against yours again in a desperate, heated kiss. His strong arms wrap around you, pulling you so close that there’s no space left between you, his need for you palpable. He holds you as if you’re the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth, as if letting go isn’t an option.

One hand slides up to the back of your neck, fingers digging into your skin as he deepens the kiss, while the other hand is splayed across your back, pressing you tighter against him. Every moan that escapes your lips is met with a hungry response, as if your sounds are the only thing anchoring him in this moment, the only thing that matters.

You’re close, so close, but it’s not enough. Nathan wants more—needs more. He wants to have you, feel you, own you, swallow you whole. He wants to lose himself in you, to find solace in the way your bodies fit together, to forget everything else in the world except for the way you make him feel.

You feel the same, more than ready for him to fuck your brains out and make it all right. But as much as you want him, need him, you can’t ignore the way your lungs are burning for air. Unlike the perfect creations in his lab, you do need to breathe. 

You pull back slightly, your lips parting from his as you gasp for air. But when you look into Nathan’s eyes, you’re struck by what you see there—something you’ve never seen before, something that reaches out and wraps around your heart, squeezing it in a way that almost hurts.

Something you’re not sure either of you are ready to face.

“I’m, uh...I’m tired,” you mumble, breaking eye contact as you clumsily slide off his lap and tug your shirt down, the movement awkward and hurried. Your heart is still pounding in your chest, and your hands tremble slightly as you adjust your clothes, trying to regain some semblance of composure. “I’m going to bed.”

Nathan lets out a deep sigh, his hands falling to his sides as he watches you retreat, the space between you growing with every step you take.

There’s a sense of resignation in his posture, a silent acknowledgment that the moment, whatever it was, is slipping away. He rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands, as if trying to wipe away what just happened, as if trying to regain the control that he’s always prided himself on.

He reaches for his beer bottle on the table, lifting it to his lips and taking a long, slow swig. The familiar taste does little to ease the frustration gnawing at him, but it gives his hands something to do, a way to distract himself from the thoughts spinning in his mind and the persistent throb of his painfully hard cock twitching in his pants.

As he sets the bottle back down with a muted clink, movement catches the corner of his eye. Kyoko appears, her presence as silent and seamless as ever, slipping into the room like a shadow. She moves with that same fluid grace, her expression blank, her purpose clear. Nathan’s eyes flicker to her, and for a moment, his gaze lingers, examining the beautiful android.

Nathan doesn’t say anything, doesn’t need to.

As you fumble with your key card, hands trembling slightly, you manage to swipe it through the reader and push the door open to the hallway. But something tugs at you, a nagging curiosity or perhaps a sense of masochism that makes you pause. You glance back over your shoulder, hesitating just long enough to let that impulse take hold. Quietly, you turn and peer around the corner.

Kyoko kneels between Nathan’s spread legs, her movements fluid and precise. Her head dips lower, and Nathan’s hands tighten on the edge of the couch, his knuckles white. His head falls back against the cushion, his eyes closing as a groan slips from his lips—low, guttural, filled with a raw need that makes your stomach twist and your clit twitch.

The heavy door hisses shut behind you as you step into the hallway, but the noise doesn’t drown out the scene you’ve just witnessed. You walk, move away from the door, but halfway to your room, you hear it—his voice, needy and rough, reverberating through the corridor.

“Fuck, that’s it.”

The words are drawn out, dripping with a mix of pleasure and arrogance. You can almost see the smirk on his lips, feel the way his eyes might flicker with satisfaction, knowing full well you can hear him. He’s doing it on purpose, pushing your buttons with calculated precision, reveling in the power it gives him—the sense that he’s back in control.

It’s only when you’re finally under the covers, staring up at the ceiling in the stillness of your room, that you allow yourself to process what just happened. The events replay in your mind, sharp and vivid, but the more you think about it, the more surreal it seems. 

Maybe you were just imagining things. What you thought you saw in his eyes…it can’t have been real. It’s easier to dismiss it, to chalk it up to your own wishful thinking rather than confront the complexity of what it might mean.

You know Nathan too well. He gets needy when he’s loaded, it’s a pattern you’ve seen countless times before.

Sometimes that neediness manifests in long, rambling monologues about the futility of human existence and the inevitability of death, his voice heavy with cynicism and a touch of despair. Other times, it manifests in something more primal, a desperate hunger for a body to fuck, a way to drown out the noise in his head, and someone to make him feel like he’s still doing something right in a world he so often views as chaotic and meaningless.

Tonight was no different, was it? Just another of his drunken nights where he needs to either pour out his soul or lose himself in the physical, grasping at anything—or anyone—to stave off the emptiness that gnaws at him when he’s left alone with his thoughts.

The idea of it being anything more feels almost ridiculous.

You wake to the smell of freshly brewed coffee sitting on your nightstand and the sight of Cinnamon, clean and dry, resting beside you on the bed. You blink, still groggy, as you reach out to touch him, half expecting it to be a dream. But he’s real, his fur soft under your fingers, the stains gone as if they were never there.

You sit up and scan him carefully, trace the little scratches on his eyes, examine the stitches on his ear, and determine that this is in fact him. You smell him, but can’t detect any detergent or other substance that Nathan could have used to clean him. 

You decide no to ask him how he did it.

A smile tugs at your lips, a warmth blooming in your chest as you hold the plushie close. Nathan actually did it. He took care of him, just like he promised. For you.

Sliding out of bed, you grab the coffee from the nightstand and head to the bathroom, savoring the warmth of the cup in your hands. As you take a sip, you’re surprised to find that it tastes better, smoother. You pause, raising an eyebrow. Did he really switch the beans? Must’ve hit a nerve when you complained about them last night. 

You catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror and sigh. The past few days have taken a toll, and it shows. Dark circles, dry skin—definitely time to stop moping and do something about it. You take another sip of the coffee, the rich, new flavor lingering pleasantly on your tongue, and as you lower the cup, something catches your eye.

Sticking to the bottom of the cup is a small, folded post-it note. You pluck it off, unfolding it with a mix of curiosity and amusement.

good as new, no need to murder me in my sleep

also, his name should be Cinnabun

he’s a bunny

You smile to yourself, carefully stick the note on the inside of your mirror cabinet, and take a moment to make yourself look halfway presentable before heading to the kitchen.

Nathan isn’t there, but the used blender and the bandages lying next to the punching bag on the deck tell you he’s already been up and about. You think of what you’re going to say to him on your way to the lab.

When you enter, you find him leaning against a glass table, a disgustingly healthy green smoothie in hand as he reads something on his tablet. He doesn’t look up when you enter, but you know he’s aware of you.

“Morning,” you say, your voice soft, tentative.

“Morning,” he replies, not looking up from the screen.

You stand there for a moment, unsure of what to say. Finally, you settle on the simplest thing, the thing that’s been on your mind since you woke up.

“Thank you, Nathan. He looks great.”

Nathan finally looks up, his gaze meeting yours. He shrugs, as if it’s no big deal, though you catch the slightest tug at the corners of his lips.

“You’re welcome,” he says, his tone casual, like it’s nothing at all.

But it is something. It’s everything, really, and you can’t hold back anymore. Before you can think better of it, you close the distance between you and wrap your arms around him in a tight, impulsive hug. It’s most definitely not what you planned on doing, not at all, but it feels right.

Nathan stiffens at first, clearly not expecting the gesture, but then he puts down the smoothie and tablet, and his arms come up to return the embrace, hesitantly at first, then more firmly. It’s strange, feeling his warmth, his heartbeat against you like this, but it’s also comforting in a way you didn’t realize you needed.

You stay like that for a moment, neither of you saying anything, just holding onto each other. When you finally pull back, Nathan’s expression is unreadable, but there’s a softness in his eyes that makes your heart ache. You want to say something, but the words don’t come.

Instead, it’s Nathan who breaks the silence. “You wanna see something cool?”

You smile at him, nodding. “Sure.”

He leads you over to another table where he’s been working on Lana’s thigh muscles. The intricate work is laid out in front of you, a testament to the hours he’s poured into perfecting every detail. He points to a small, precise incision. “You see this cut? It was a centimeter deep. Now look at it.”

You lean in, examining the area closely. The wound is almost completely healed, the synthetic tissue knitting itself back together seamlessly. “It’s almost healed. Incredible,” you say, marveling at the rapid regeneration.

Nathan observes your reaction with satisfaction, but there’s a slight furrow in his brow, a sign that he’s not completely pleased with his work. “It is. But I feel like I’m hitting a wall with these new polymers I’ve been testing.”

“Yeah?” You glance up at him, curious.

“Yeah,” he continues, his gaze shifting to you. “I’ve been meaning to get your input. See if you can spot something I’ve missed.”

His words catch you off guard, and for a moment, you’re stunned. The acknowledgment, the unexpected validation, it takes a second to sink in. Despite your best efforts, you can’t suppress the smile that tugs at your lips. It’s small, but the warmth it brings spreads through you, impossible to hide.

All you manage is a quick nod before turning swiftly toward the disinfectant dispenser next to the door.

As you methodically disinfect your hands, the cool liquid a sharp contrast to the warmth blooming inside you, and then pull on the nitrile gloves, you’re too focused on controlling your own emotions to notice the way Nathan’s eyes are fixed on you. His gaze lingers, taking in every small movement, every detail of your response.

His thoughts are a tangled mess, caught between admiration for your skill and the quiet way you’ve earned his respect, confusion at the intensity of his own feelings, and something dangerously close to longing.

Thank you for reading! Nathan Bateman Masterlist

Tag List: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @pattwtf

[ladykailitha]

Icarus Part 19

Hey guys! See? I can be consistent some of the time and I promise this one will be out once a week until it's done.

In this one we get the fallout from the last chapter, Vickie takes charge, and Steve and Eddie talk about the cracks appearing in their bands.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18

~

And of course the incident went viral, because there had been someone filming a bachelor party and caught the exchange in the background.

Fans rallied around the band especially when the two dudes could be heard saying the band was making shit up.

And despite Vickie keeping a deft hand on the situation, charges had to be filed. She called the band into the bus, having flown out the night before.

“Right,” she said, clasping her hands and leaning her elbows on her knees. “This was a scary incident and I was able to steer it in the right direction. But if you had told me right after it happened I could have gotten ahead of it.”

The members of the band just looked at her in shock.

“It’s just a problem we’ve always had,” Spence said. “It happens so often it’s just a part of being The Fallen, you know?”

Vickie cocked her head to the side. “You do understand that you’ve come normalize to assault, right?”

Steve let out a shuddering breath. “We knew it was bad. Of course we did. But we thought it came with the price of fame.”

“Famous people have to put up with a lot of bullshit,” she said shaking her head, “but assault is not one of them. They’re people too, they aren’t objects to be used and consumed by their audience and then spat out.”

They all shifted in their seats uncomfortably and avoided looking her in the eye.

“I think we all learned from this experience,” Robin said. “We learned the new hoods work, we learned to tell Vickie when something goes down, no matter how small we think it is or if we think it was handled. Because that’s why I didn’t say anything. Hopper had the guy delete it from his phone so I thought that was the end of the matter, only for it to appear online anyway.”

“And I learned,” Vickie finished, “that as unique as you guys are, you still experience the common problems most famous people have.”

They talked a little bit longer and everyone came away from the meeting feeling better about the incident going viral.

It did have the unfortunate side effect of Eddie being aggressively protective whenever the two bands would go out. Which would be fine, if it was just ‘Abbadon’ he was fiercely protective of, Steve being his boyfriend and all.

But nope.

Because Eddie didn’t want questions about why he was only protecting Abbadon, he went full mama bear. Barking at some chick that got too close to Azrael’s hood when she was flirting with him. Slapping away some guy’s hand that looked like it was going for Astraeus’s mask. He even got between a guy with a phone and Asmodeus. Who looked like the one guy in the band you wouldn’t want to fuck with.

That was when Steve decided to talk to Eddie about. Because they both had security and no one had gotten past Hopper since that first time.

“Hey, baby,” Steve said softly, slipping into the hotel room.

Eddie jumped and almost fell off the bed. “Stevie! Are you supposed to be here?” He scrambled to get back on the bed.

Steve joined him on the bed and slid as close to him as possible. “If anyone asks, I’ll just say you thought you were having a medical emergency but it was a false alarm.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I think that would cause a bigger stir than me sleeping with an EMT, sweetheart.”

Steve laughed and crawled up onto his lap to kiss him senseless. Eddie let Steve slowly lower him on the pillows as they made out.

“How much time have you got before you’re missed?” Eddie breathed, grinding their bodies together. “I really need you.”

Steve knew they would be taking a huge fucking risk, but he needed his boyfriend, too. He needed be filled up and worshiped. “A while,” he panted into Eddie’s mouth. “I want you to fuck me, please?”

Eddie groaned because that sounded like heaven to him. “Anything for you.”

Steve’s shirt was off and Eddie’s hands instantly came up to his belt to start unbuckling it. Steve sighed at the release of pressure against his zipper as Eddie pulled it down.

“Look at you, honey,” he panted, “you aching for me?”

Steve nodded, pressing his lips together to stop the moan from escaping his lips. Then he stood up and scrambled to get out of his clothes and Eddie took the opportunity to do the same. Soon they were lying together with Steve on top, kissing.

The sex was slow and tender and everything Steve needed in that moment and he felt Eddie did too. Once everything had been cleaned up and they were lying next to each other did Steve speak up.

“I think we have a couple of things to talk about,” Steve murmured into Eddie’s neck. “About Brian and Gareth, and you biting that fan’s head off tonight.”

Eddie sighed and held Steve closer. “I’m sorry about tonight. It’s just after that incident with the assholes and Astraeus, I guess my protective instincts that drove me to pick up lost sheep in high school went into overdrive.”

Steve nuzzled Eddie’s neck. “Which I do get, but let me tell you of the four of us, in character Asmodeus really is the last one you need to defend. He uses his mask as a way to be braver then he is normally and will absolutely knock a guy out and then freak out about it later.”

Eddie chuckled. “I already have a good idea of who’s who, but thank you for cinching for me that Simon is Asmodeus.”

Steve huffed out a small laugh. “Yeah, that one was a gimme, I’ll admit. But who do you think are the other two. You have a fifty-fifty chance of getting it right.”

He thought for a moment, really trying to put all the clues together. “Spence is Azrael and Shane is Astraeus. For the sheer fact that they make the least amount of sense and thus throw people off.”

“Right in one,” Steve confirmed with a kiss. “And yes, that’s why. Our personas are deliberately not like who we are in real life. I play more to my feminine side more as Abbadon because I’m your stereotypical boy next door.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “You’re way more than that, sweetheart. But I get what you mean.”

Steve sat up and pulled his knees up to drape his arms around them. “Did you want to talk about what happened with Brian and Gareth about the tour. I kept meaning to bring it up because there would be odd little moments where the tension would suddenly ramp up between you guys and it would be days before it went away. It seems like it’s only gotten worse since we’ve gone on tour.”

Eddie sat up too, and moved away from Steve, crossing his arms sullenly. Steve let him. He knew this was a prickly subject and if Eddie didn’t want to talk he wasn’t going to make him. So he waited him out.

Sure enough a few minutes later, Eddie let out a put upon sigh. “Yeah, okay. It’s gotten so bad Chrissy is talking to the label about what would happen if we broke up on this tour.”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve breathed. “I didn’t realize it was that bad.”

Eddie chewed on his bottom lip and nodded.

“I remember Brian saying he thought not letting Gareth on this tour was wrong,” Steve said, “but that everyone including Gareth disagreed.”

“He made a promise,” Eddie said softly, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face between his knees. “No drinking, in therapy, and having actual fucking progress on both the alcohol dependence and the abandonment issues and he’d get to tour with you guys.”

Steve raised a eyebrow. Eddie had said things like this before. That even though Gareth wasn’t a fan of Steve he had posters of Abbadon in his house and especially his studio. As he hadn’t seen it, he had to take Eddie’s word for it.

“And then he went on that bender when no one could find him...” he murmured, remembering that night.

“Yeah,” Eddie let out a shuddering breath, “thank god both Dustin and Gareth are the same flavor of nerd.”

Steve cracked a small smile.

“So he shouldn’t have been able to come,” he reasoned.

“Yeah.”

Eddie gripped his hair as he continued. “It’s in our contract. Everything has to be agreed on by all four members otherwise it doesn’t happen. We’ve lost out on some major opportunities because one of us held out. Did you know that the latest Batman movie wanted to use ‘Jaded Hearts’ for their soundtrack?”

‘Jaded Hearts’ was about a bad break up Jeff had. He thought things were going well, even bought a ring talked to her dad about proposing. And then suddenly she turned around and said things weren’t working out between them and just moved out of state. No rhyme or reason to it, just left.

“I didn’t,” Steve admitted.

“Yeah...” Eddie’s voice cracked on the bitterness of it. “Gareth didn’t want to because he thought it would cheapen its meanihng. While Jeff, the guy that wrote the damn thing was freaking out that they wanted his song in a movie about his favorite super hero.” He grimaced. “Jeff’s still salty about that one.”

Steve’s eyebrows raised. Yeah, he would be too.

“So what was Brian’s reasoning for waiting until Gareth was out of rehab?”

Eddie let go of his hair and let his feet slide off the edge of the couch they were on. “Addiction is a mental illness and we wouldn’t punish any of us for needing physical therapy if we broke a limb or whatever.”

Steve let his eyelids flutter shut. He felt that. He did. Both Simon and he had parents that were alcoholics. Hell, his own mother did cocaine. Addiction was a disease, but not one that should be catered to like that. He opened his eyes and saw that Eddie was curling in on himself slowly but surely.

He grabbed Eddie by the wrist and pulled him into his arms.

“What’s going on with Gareth scares me,” Eddie murmured as he soaked up his boyfriend’s comfort.

Steve let out a deep breath and said gingerly, “I think Shane is a sex addict.”

Because while Shane hadn’t been late since their little intervention, he just got better at hiding his hookups. He figured he was the only one who knew because Hopper and Robin hadn’t said anything about it.

Eddie looked up at Steve, his big brown eyes wide in confusion. “I thought he was getting better at showing up on time.”

“Oh he shows up on time,” Steve muttered darkly. “But sometimes he shows up smelling of cheap cologne and expensive wine, like he hasn’t been to bed yet. And like with you and Gareth, what’s going on with Shane terrifies me, too.”

Eddie snuggled in closer. “Fame is a cruel mistress and she is giving our friends the beating of their lives.”

“I think after this both bands should take some time off,” Steve murmured, “and just be people for a minute or three. Three records in three years is insane for even the most seasoned bands and I think Corroded Coffin could really benefit not being in each others’ pockets for a bit.”

Eddie sighed and really thought about it. He nodded. Even if the other members said no, Eddie was willing to just walk away from it all. Go solo maybe. Because after twelve years of nonstop running he was starting to fall apart.

The only thing that was keeping him sane right now was the fact Steve was by his side and he understood what he was going through.

“Yeah, baby,” he said, “let’s do that. Maybe you and me will travel the world a bit, really see it, instead of a blur through the windows of a tour bus.”

Fuck did that sound perfect. No band, no obligations, just him and Eddie and an adventure of a lifetime.

“Sure thing, rockstar,” he whispered. “Let’s do that. Plan a trip of Europe or whatever and just see the sights for a change. And not just the sites that would be good publicity either. The wacky museums, the weird curio shops, five hundred year old bars.”

Eddie sat up and looked him in the eye. “Wait, what? You’d really be interested in doing that? I mean, I’d love that. But none the guys like that shit. Not like I do and you’d want to do that kind of stuff with me?”

“Of course I would,” Steve said and then kissed him deeply. “I love that kind of shit too. And yeah maybe I didn’t always, but Robin has been a very good influence on me.”

Eddie laughed. It was so free and happy, Steve wanted to bottle it up and keep it for shit days.

“Maybe we should bring her with us,” he said with a grin. “That way people will be less suspicious about you and me going on a trip and reading too much into it.”

Steve let out a sigh, his mood a little dampened by the fact this couldn’t just be a romantic getaway. But then again, he really didn’t want to leave Robin home for that long, either. He kissed Eddie.

“Yeah, Eds,” he said sweetly. “Let’s do that. She’ll love it.”

~

Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25

Tag List: CLOSED

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9- @machete-inventory-manager @useless-nb-bisexual @stripey82 @dotdot-wierdlife @kal-ology

10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @chameleonhair @clockworkballerina @garden-of-gay

[shewrites444]

unexpected - part 1 & 2 [ xavier thorpe x reader]

[ i’m alive! i haven’t posted in ages and i’m terribly sorry. i’ve had this in my drafts for awhile and finally finished it up. it's a part 1 and 2 that just made sense to put in the same post. ]

word count - 5.5k

[ summary - the reader and xavier have despised each other for years, but when she discovers his unexpected attraction to her after being a bit too nosy, their dynamic takes a complete turn. ]

[ warnings - enemies to lovers, angst/jealousy, swearing, dirty talk, oral (f), unprotected sex, bit of degrading. ]

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁part 1 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

i was never a big fan of school dances, especially the kind where wednesday addams stole the show for wearing all black, despite that being typical of her, so i didn't really understand what the surprise was for. i had always been fairly close to enid, but when wednesday transfered to nevermore, our friendship diminished in some ways, but i wasn't drastically devastated or anything - i needed to focus on my education anyway. despite my new and improved academic achievements, enid managed to convince me to come to the r'aven, which i did solo, contrary to the norms at nevermore to never attend such a large event alone.

"she looks gorgeous, don't you think?" enid said next to me, a bit of excitement and pride in her voice as she clutched tighter on her glass of punch, watching the black haired girl walk in with tyler, a blank expression on her face.

i shrugged lightly, taking a sip of my drink as i leaned against the empty chair in front of me. "i mean, she's okay." i said plainly. i didn't even mean it out of jealousy or spite, i really didn't view wednesday to be as unique as she was painted to be by people like.. him, yeah, xavier thorpe.

i thought of xavier because as enid spoke in return to my dry comment, i saw the boy staring at wednesday with a bit of disgust, probably at her date, and also with himself. i would hope that was for being so obsessed with someone who never even returned his way-too-obvious feelings, but who was i to mindread?

i laughed lightly, nudging enid to look in xavier's direction, bianca's expression dropping to clear aggravation and jealousy as she watched her date's face. "why do you think she came with him when she probably knew he was going to react like this?"

enid shook her head, frowning a bit. "i don't think she thought about it like that at all. maybe she thought they would get back together."

"yeah, right." i set my glass down on the white table. "xavier has been mentally dick-riding wednesday since she got here. he wants what he can't have like most guys."

"then why doesn't he want you?" enid asked, giggling as she nudged me. i rolled my eyes and pushed her with my own shoulder.

i grin, looking over to her. "because he hates me so much he can't physically imagine fucking me. remember, he said that during our game of truth or dare last semester."

"oh, believe me, i'll never forget that." she takes a large sip from her cup, laughing through it. "i can't believe he said that in front of half the grade."

"i can." i smirk, taking her empty cup and grabbing my own off the table. "i'll be back with some more punch."

she nods and mouths a small "thank you" as i walk off, lightly pushing myself through the crowd of students and round tables, until i reach the trash can and the punch table that was next to it. i began to fill enid and i's new cups before i feel a tall, lanky, and, oh, deathly aggravating, presence next to mine.

i sigh, turning my body towards his as i look up at xavier thorpe. "upset about your public rejection?"

he rolls his eyes, grabbing a cup and beginning to fill his own after i step away from the bowl. "at least i have a date. i think you're the only person here who doesn't."

"maybe i'm untouchable." i tease, sipping from my cup and looking down at him while he shoots me a grossed out look as he leaned down to grab bianca a glass. "perhaps i stand out more than wednesday, but you'd probably say that was impossible. delusion does something to a person, i suppose."

he scoffed, leaning up straight and looking down at me, as if i appeared to be lesser than him. "you're a real asshole, [y/n]. you know that, right?"

i shrug, clearly unbothered by his comment. "it's my best trait."

walking back to enid, i can hear xavier's annoyed groan as he heads to the opposite side of the room to meet a very pissed off bianca. i pitied her, but at the same time, she agreed to go with xavier thorpe, so there wasn't much i could validate from that decision.

i noticed enid flirting with her date, so i set her drink down on the table and walked back towards the entry door, slipping through it silently and down the dark hallway that led to the dorms. everyone was occupied, and i didn't mind being left alone for a few minutes anyway. i was never a big fan of loud music, or parties, so it didn't suit me much there - i was mainly more of an emotional support for enid than anything. i didn't mind it much at all, but she was with her date, and i would never complain about some alone time on campus.

i slowly creaked open an empty classroom door, walking into the room full of desks and lab equipment. i quietly turned on the lamp aside the teacher's desk before sitting down. i reached into my pocket to grab a small bottle of vodka before pouring it into my drink. as i lifted it up to my lips, i hear a loud knock on the open door, making my eyes widen and avert to the glass bottle in my hands, which i quickly tossed into the trashcan before looking to who was at the door.

i rolled my eyes as i saw xavier, taking a gulp of the drink, which i quickly realized i needed for this interaction that was about to occur.

"what brings you here? did you think of any insults that pertained to something relevant?" i asked, turning the rolling chair towards him as i cross my ankles. "if so, i'm happy to hear what you've come up with this time."

"shockingly, i've come to ask if you wanted to drink with me, but i see you've already started by yourself." he says, leaning against the door frame, putting his hands in his pockets as he references the trashcan.

i gasp with heavy sarcasm. "me? drink with xavier thorpe?" i grin, standing up. "did bianca say no since you publicly humilated her by drooling over wednesday addams?"

he pursed his lips together as a red tint collected onto his pale cheeks. "no, i didn't ask. she's been ignoring me anyway tonight."

"can't blame her, i must have rubbed off on her." i say, handing him my drink as he very quickly took a sip. i blink a bit in surprise. "are you trying to get fucked up?"

"why would i not?" he said with a bit of a frustrated tone. "i'm not going to act like i don't feel bad for screwing over bianca like this. she fucked me over by using her powers when we were together, but i didn't really plan on being a dick to her tonight, it just happened."

"it just happened." i say in a low voice. "you really need to think things through before you say or do them, xavier thorpe. can't ask someone to go to a dance with you just because your first date ditched you. especially your ex."

he shook his head, handing me back the half-full cup. "what am i even doing talking to you about this shit? whatever." he said, turning to face the door. he seemed embarrassed. "see you."

i stare blankly at his confusing but unsurprising response. it seemed him opening up to me and me not giving him a sympathetic reaction pissed him off, but i don't really know what he was expecting from me in the first place. we hadn’t gotten along for years. truthfully, i couldn’t even pinpoint when our mutual disliking started, but it had always been around.

“you know, i may not be quite fond of you, xavier, but i’m here if you need brutal honesty.” i raise my tone as he walks off, leaving me with no response. i sigh, now a bit embarrassed with myself for displaying a small portion of kindness to him.

i turn around, finishing my drink off and tossing it in the trash before i walk down the hallway, opposite of the dance, back to my dorm room.

as i approach my room, i glance down to see a dorm key on the floor. my brows raise and i lean down, grabbing the metal and reading the side of it. my eyes widen when i see who’s it is. obviously, no other than xavier thorpe's.

“oh, shit.” i mutter.

i wouldn’t act like i wasn’t a nosy person, especially towards my nemesis - of course i’d be going to snoop in his room.

his dorm was a few down from my own. i quietly unlocked the wooden door, sliding myself through the cracked frame and gently shutting it behind me. flipping the dim lights on, i scanned the messy, yet also oddly organized bedroom. given that xavier thorpe was a strange person, at least to me, i very quickly found something interesting. his sketchbook.

i walk towards his desk, picking up the red journal and flipping through it, seeing well drawn pictures of different animals, instruments, nothing interesting.. until, the last few pages, which were not photos, but writing.

as much as she made my blood boil, her fierce personality grew on me, far more than i expected it to as the years went on. the hate i once possessed so deeply was altered into a deep, truly intolerable lust, one that i could never showcase to her, only myself, surrounded by my own walls and left to think of her alone, touching myself to-

my eyes widened and i shut the book, setting it slowly and quietly on the desk, exactly into its original place. good god, who the fuck was xavier writing a-list fanfiction about?

i bit my bottom lip, shaking my head as i glanced back down at the sketchbook. no, i couldn’t keep reading it. as much as i loathed him, this was personal. i would be drastically upset if someone read information of mine so private. it was like my hand was unconsciously gravitating towards the book anyway.

“i’m such an asshole.” i muttered to myself, opening the pages again, and back to where i left off.

her dominant words, her demands for me to fuck her in such an intimate, yet so dirty way that it was almost unimaginable. my body on top of her own, her arms wrapped around my drenched skin as i pushed myself inside of her warm, tight walls, walls that held me inside and possessed me as her own. [y/n]-

“oh, fucking hell..” i whispered with shock, now slamming the book shut and setting it back in place immediately after reading my name in the following sentence.

it was partially horrifying, but also oddly compelling that xavier thorpe, the same person who would probably stomp on my grave, was writing detailed scenarios of us fucking in his spare time. genuinely, i couldn’t wrap my head around it, but i didn’t have much time to regardless, as i noticed on his alarm clock that it was reaching close to midnight, and the r’aven would be over soon.

i turn the lamp off, the room shading itself into darkness immediately, as i walk to the door. my hand reaches to open it, and it instead comes towards me as xavier walks in. my eyes widen in fear, and i freeze up, the key in my hand as xavier flips the lights on, and stares at me, shocked and more confused than anything.

“you.. you took my spare key?” he asked, shutting the door and leaning against it, crossing his arms.

i shake my head, handing it back to him. “no, i found it on the floor.”

“so, you came to my room, rather than give it to me when you found it.” he said, following my explanation. “trying to rob me of everything i’ve got?” he gestures to his closet. “about the most expensive thing i’ve got is a pair of nikes, so have at it.”

i roll my eyes, my face a heated pink, so much so that i could feel it burning on my cheeks. “no, that wasn’t the plan. more curiosity than anything. truthfully, i just wanted to snoop around.”

it seemed the idea of his sketchbook didn’t even cross his mind. “oh? to find what?”

“well, i found some written porn.” i say quite boldly, looking up at him. “on someone very unexpected, actually.”

i watched his expression drop, and he shook his head in what seemed to be more disbelief than anything. it quickly shaped itself into anger, and some embarrassment. “you read my fucking journal?”

“i didn’t mean to.” i cut him off before he could speak any further. “it’s not like i wanted to voluntarily read that.”

“f-fuck..!” he yells, covering his face in embarrassment, the key slipping out of his palm and onto the wooden floor. “oh, god, you’ve got to leave, [y/n]. please leave.”

“will do.” i sigh, awkwardly nodding, and noticing his shaken up stance. “but you are sort of blocking my exit.”

he moves out of the way as i speak, probably the fastest i’ve seen him move in his life. i walk towards the door, reaching to open it, before i stop. i glance up at him.

“can i ask you what provoked such writing about myself before i go? does my hateful nature turn you on? i didn’t mean it to be that way.”

he shook his head, sighing. he looked up, unable to meet our eyes. he bit the inside of his cheek as he thought. “no, i.. i..” he sighed heavily. “you’re unattainable. someone i can’t ever imagine doing such things with for so many different reasons.”

“well, you clearly can’t get with wednesday either but i didn’t see pages of sexual encounters written about her.”

he steps back, shaking his head once again at my comment. “you’re completely different people, [y/n]. it’s not the same.”

“what’s so different?” i ask, now a bit intrigued by the conversation. i lean against the doorframe. “i’m genuinely curious.”

he finally looked at me, his mouth hung open as he stared at me for a moment. “the difference is you’re the only person i’ve ever wanted to fuck but deeply despise at the same time. it confuses me, and i.. i know it’s so weird, but writing about it was the only way i could… uh, process it, i guess.”

oh, god. his words pierced my core. not in the violent, gorish way i’d prefer them to, but rather a more sexual fashion that created a massive disruption in me. the forming wetness between my legs unsettled me.

“you’re right, it’s time for me to go.” i nod, opening the door as i spoke. “goodnight.”

i walk down the hallway, staring at the floor the entire time until i get to my dorm. i could hear him hesitate before shutting his door after he registered the conversation was over.

i shut the door behind me, quickly taking off my dress and setting it on my desk before getting into my bed, bare aside from my underwear, which i was starting to slide off hastily and dropped to the floor. he wouldn’t know of this. he wouldn’t know i wanted it, too, as strange as that seemed to me. it was something i needed to now keep to myself, just as he did previously. this was it, no more than this. one time touching myself to that asshole. one time.

the sensation was so fresh, so hard to grasp that i felt a sense of euphoria wash over my heated body as i closed my eyes, running my fingers down my stomach and to the slit between my legs, sinking myself into the imaginative state i was in as i ran scenarios through my head, consisting of the most unexpected person they could withhold.

one time. i thought again. one time.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ part 2 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

as expected, xavier and i's feud was drastically dialed down after that night. the classes we did have together that we used to bicker in were now silent, which was a weird feeling, but not as weird as what happened last weekend. i tried to black it all out of my head, and i was correct about touching myself to xavier thorpe being a one time affair. at least i held myself accountable for my singular mistake, and didn't make it some sort of off-putting habit.

xavier, on the other hand, seems clearly disturbed by our now lessening exchange of words, even if it was a simple insult shot across biology being absent. i could visibly see it on his face when i walked into the room, his eyes darting down to his textbook, and his lips pursed together in what i would assume to still be fresh embarrassment. i felt bad for him in more ways than one, i would admit. it was his personal thoughts, and i did invade them, but also cut off any further explanation he was going to give me that night.

cutting me out of those overbearing thoughts was the bell for last period, the students at my table scrambling their books into their hands as they rushed out of english. i sighed, slowly standing up and beginning to pack my bookbag. i didn't have any classes for the rest of the day, so it was time for me to head back to my dorm and start working on the paper we just discussed for the past hour and a half that i blacked out of.

"can we talk?" i hear faintly from the side of my desk. i look up to lock eyes with xavier, and my face immediately reddens. i press my lips together and breath lightly out of my nose as i think of how to even respond to his sudden question and frankly, startling presence.

"i don't think you're a creep, if that's what you're wanting to talk to me about." i say honestly, slinging my backpack across my shoulder. "i do think this obviously has created much tension between the two of us that will probably never fade out because of how substantial the situation is, but i think it's for the best, regardless. the semester is almost over an-"

xavier sighs and shakes his head. "no, not that - i mean, i, i agree with that, but i just wanted to explain myself. i don't want the last conversation we ever have to be what we had last weekend."

"understandable." i return. "so, uhm, you can come to my dorm if you'd prefer? this doesn't seem like something appropriate to discuss in the commons. but try to walk a few feet behind me so no one sees us together. bad for our image of hate towards one another."

he sounded relieved that i agreed to talk to him, and let out a small chuckle at my demand. he follows me to my room, with distance as directed, and comes in shortly after i do. i set my room key on my desk before gesturing for him to sit on my bed, and i sit against the headboard, facing him while he awkwardly positioned himself at the end of the mattress.

he cleared his throat, resting his nervous hands on his thighs as he looked at the ground. "i just wanted to apologize. i know that made you uncomfortable, and believe me, it made me pretty uncomfortable writing what i did, but at the same time, it's just how i get my words out. i.. i am really sorry if i violated you in a way. i didn't mean for you to ever see that, and i obviously didn't show it to anyone else. i burned it all last weekend so that it's gone and no one will ever see it but me and you."

i blink in surprise at how adamant he was about getting rid of the evidence he probably spent a lot of time writing. i nod, leaning down as i sink into my propped up pillows. "it's okay, i don't feel that you did that to make me feel weird. you obviously never expected me to see it, and i'm sorry for violating your privacy in the first place. i appreciate you getting rid of it."

he gave me a soft, but still uncomfortable smile. "so.. so we're good?"

"sure." i shrug, sitting up as i felt the conversation beginning to wrap up. "back to mortal enemies? or would you prefer strangers?"

he looked caught off guard by my question, his eyebrow raising at my words. "is there an option that combines the two of them in some way?"

"eh." i cross my legs and lean forward as i speak. "perhaps."

i hear the rain begin to beat against my bedroom window, the sky diming to accompany the sudden thunderstorm, then look to xavier in response. "you better go if you want to make it back to your dorm without getting drenched."

"yeah, you're right." he nods, clearing his throat uncomfortably before standing up. he looks to me, watching as i stand up in return. "well, i'm glad everything is okay."

i nod silently, the two of us staring at each other, unable to process a proper way to say goodbye. i mean, how could we with the conversation we just had?

"uh, me too." i cross my arms and shake my head out of the eye contact, looking up to him. "i'll see you tomorrow in biology?"

"yeah." he nods, turning towards the door to walk himself out.

"oh, here." i walk in front of him to grab my key. "i need to unlock the-"

"can i kiss you [y/n]?"

my cheeks redden and i set the key down, turning to face him. i blink in disbelief. "kiss me?"

"i'm sorry, that was a heat of the moment thing, i didn't mean to make this weird ag-"

"no, it's fine." i walk towards him as i cut his stammering words off, leaning up to take his head into my hands and pull him down to my height, pressing his warm lips against my own. he hastily wrapped his arms around my waist, our bodies gravitating to my bed as i push my weight onto his thin, light build, climbing on top of him and moaning lightly into his mouth as i ran my fingers through his long strands of straight hair.

while there was no rush to this sudden circumstance, we were kissing like we were on a time crunch, hands running down each other's clothed bodies and very quickly taking them off. xavier begins to unbutton my school shirt, the nude colored bra that laid behind it exposed to his eyes, which were visibly glued to my chest as he undressed me. i unbuckled his belt in the process, looking down at him while he moved his head closer to my chest, trailing kisses down my heated flesh and lightly brushing my bra out of the way for a moment as his lips kissed my nipple, tongue circling the stimulated bud which only earned a moan from my lips, xavier's body twitching against my own while my pleasure transferred into his own.

i reach down between us to slide my hand into his pants, a bit slowly to make sure he was okay with it, which he very quickly signaled by lightly bucking his hips towards me in return. my hand was met with his erection, straining in his khakis as i jerked it off, moans escaping from his pink lips and vibrating onto my chest which was starting to cover in light hickies and salvia.

he breaks himself away, forcing my body onto the mattress and my hand out of his pants, his own build getting off of me and onto the floor, his knees against the hardwood while he pulled down my skirt, and my underwear, my face dark red as i was nearly naked before him, nothing but my lopsided bra and half buttoned shirt.

"you don't understand how long i've wanted to taste you." he says through a low, seductive yet needy tone of voice. "i've wanted you in my mouth for what feels like ages." he leans down, taking both my thighs into his hands and pulling my bottom up and towards the end of the bed to reach him.

i was speechless, sitting up and staring down at xavier while he began to trail wet kisses into my inner thighs, his mouth soon reaching my pussy and beginning to lick the outside with great tease. i gasped at just his most gentle touch, one hand holding my body propped up as the other reached down to cup the side of his left cheek. he looked up at me, watching as i gave him a small nod to go further.

his tongue attacked my clit, sucking on the bud and my wet skin while one of his hands snaked between my thighs, gently pushing two fingers into my slit, stimulating my body through more ways than i imagined he would so soon. i moaned, closing my eyes and immersing myself into the moment, finding it still hard to believe that his head was between my thighs now when i would've laughed at the thought of this a few days ago.

watching xavier eat me out was so attractive, i almost couldn't comprehend what him fucking me would feel like. he knew what he was doing, holding our eyes as he pushed his fingers inside me, his touch sucking against my clit and twirling around in circles to tease me further, sparks sending themselves to my hot core. it felt never-ending, in a good way, of course, the way he was able to make me feel. the way he made me want him after all this time hating each other was insane. it was rather impressive more than anything.

i leaned forward, watching him pull his lips away from my middle and to my lips, the taste of my own pleasure now against my mouth, his tongue pushing forward and clashing against my own. with his fingers still in me, he adjusted our position, now on his knees in the bed and hovering a bit above me, watching as my mouth hung open at his touch, the feeling of another finger slipping into my tight walls. i could feel myself wrapping around him, which he visibly took note of, as the expression on his face shaped into a smirk, almost like he was proud of himself for the way i reacted to his strengthening touch.

"i've got to stretch you out if you want me to be inside you." he remarks, leaning down to kiss me between the sinful noises that left my lips. "you want me to fuck you like i hate you?"

"shouldn't be a hard thing to do." i grin, pecking his lips, gasping as he curls his fingers inside me at my response.

xavier pulled his wet fingers out, slapping them against pussy as i arch my body in response to the intense touch, my eyes widening as i look at him in surprise. he could only chuckle, standing up and taking his pants and boxers off, his hard length pointing itself towards me as he steps closer again, knees on the mattress and cock aligned with me. he wasn't lying - he was quite long, as i could have imagined by his height and lanky build, but he was thick, too. he was much more than i imagined he was, but i wasn't complaining.

he leaned closer, helping adjust my body to where my feet were now resting on his bare shoulders, spread wide as he pushed inside me, my eyes shutting and mouth opening at the feeling of him slowly pushing inside my body. good god, he hurt, but at the same time, he felt so fucking good.

he held me by my ankles, his hair moving with his rhythm as he kept a slow, intimate pace, watching as my breasts moved with his thrusts, briefly, until he pulled out. i blinked, confused. "is everything okay?"

"you want me to fuck you like i hate you, right, [y/n]?" he asks flatly, his hand running down his cock, before nudging me to flip over.

my cheeks redden and i shake my head. "i would think you'd want to see my expression when doing so."

"who said i wasn't?" he grinned, grabbing me by the hips and tossing me over, pressing his hand on my stomach to arch back before pushing himself back inside.

i gasped, unable to react as he grabbed my face, guiding it towards him and leaning down to where we were able to meet eyes, my hair fallen in front of my face, which he adjusted to fit behind my ears. i could see it in his eyes that he wanted to watch my expression in every way while he pumped his cock inside me, stroke after stroke causing me to moan, my vision clouding with the harder he held my face, the harder he fucked me and made my legs nearly melt at his rough touch.

"you're so fucking beautiful," he coos, placing a rough, wet kiss against my lips. "so fucking beautiful when you take me inside you, i can feel you tightening against me, [y/n]. i didn't think you'd want me around you much longer, but look at you."

"shut the fuck up." i say through pitiful moans, my hands holding the bedsheets as he talked. "you're not always going to have the upper hand."

he scoffed, picking up his pace, pecking my cheek before leaning up, his hand moving to hold the back of my neck while his thrusts only grew strong from his new position.

"says the girl who's letting me fuck her from behind with her ass propped up for my bare cock." he smirked as he heard me groan in annoyance. "you can tell me you like it, no shame in it."

i roll my eyes, now trying to hold my tongue. i figured this wasn't the time or place to cuss out the same person who was actively pounding me with his cock. "just shut up, xavier."

he leaned down to kiss my cheek quickly, his lips leveling to my ear. "i think you know me well enough to know i'm not going to."

he lifted himself back up, holding my ass as he guided me back and forth, the sounds of our wet skin slapping together while i enveloped his cock inside me, the stimulation far too great to not earn us both a very quickly approaching orgasm.

i felt him moan lightly from behind me, our voices, and bodies, and noises, sync together while the room seemed to grow hotter and far too much for either of us to handle, until we both finished, xavier staying in me for a moment before slowly pulling out, his cum leaking lightly between my shaking, red legs as i laid down on my back.

he laid down aside me, reaching over to undo my top completely and help guide my bra off, leaving the two of us now completely naked, lathered in our own, and each other's, sweat. i felt him wrap his arms around me and i rolled my eyes, lightly trying to nudge him off me.

"you're sweaty." i say, watching him laugh at my remark. "what's so funny?"

he stopped me from my squirming, taking my hand into his own and wrapping his arm around my waist. "you'll never be quiet, will you, [y/n]?"

i shake my head, my expression lightening as i look up to him. "i'm not the one who was begging to taste the other. remind me who was on their knees earlier?"

"i hate you." he playfully nudges me, pulling me closer. he sighed, and look up at the wood ceiling, his tone dialing down as he pursed his lips together.

"you know, you physically feel good, but this felt good, too." he gestures to the two of us, which i only blushed in response at.

"xavier thorpe, are you admitting you've peaked an interest in me?" i tease, squeezing his hand in response.

he rolled his eyes, shrugging softly. "maybe so, but no worries, i'll still follow a few feet behind you in the hallway."

"look at you, already listening. guess i really do have the upper hand in this, don't i?" i sit up, watching as he followed my actions. i reach over to hold him by his face, kissing him once again.

he chuckled, holding me by the back of my head as he returned the kiss. he raised his eyebrow, a bit of reflection on his face from what just happened. “why the sudden change of heart towards me?”

“i don’t know.” i shrug, looking from his lips to his eyes. “i guess we’ll have to see how this unfolds over time.”

“i guess so.” he grinned, kissing me once again. “no worries, ill still make sure to embarrass you in some way on monday in biology.”

“you wouldn’t dare.” i smirk, lightly nudging him onto his back as i climb on top of him. “good luck, xavier thorpe.” i begin to trail kisses down his neck, his arms once again wrapping around my waist.

“words of good luck from the enemy? today’s full of surprises.” he teases before sliding his hand between us.

[drdemonprince]

I am very very attracted to my boss and it's driving me insane. There's this amazing chemistry and tension between us and all day long we're just teasing eachother and flirting. We're always gravitating towards eachother and happy to see eachother, finding excuses to work together, etc. He is, however, a straight man twice my age who has a girlfriend and I'm a trans guy who could be completely misreading our interactions. Straight guys often banter and "flirt" with eachother so maybe I'm reading too much into it. Maybe he's just excited to be some sort of a mentor figure to me and he likes to be admired, and likes to see me grow and learn, and that's all there is to it. He calls me his protege which I find incredibly hot. Anyway I'm seriously contemplating whether I should confess my attraction. I'm not really anticipating him to reciprocate, but would do it more so to get rejected so I would be able to stop fantasizing about him all day long and give myself some closure. On the other hand, I don't want to humiliate myself and create a possible distance or awkwardness between us. There would be no consequences for my job so that's not an issue. I was wondering if you have any words of wisdom for me? You always have such a unique yet sobering outlook on things and I would love to hear your thoughts on this situation.

"Unique yet sobering outlook"! That's the kind of compliment I would have put in the word document alongside all my favorite feedback from English professors back in the day when I still needed that. Sincerely, thank you.

I am of several minds with regard to your question. On the one hand, I think straight people are terminally monogamous most of the time and that it would be hell on earth to get involved with this man and draw the potential ire of his girlfriend even if they weren't.

I think it's usually a self-hating maneuver to date a straight man as a trans masc (I have been there, it is terrible) but as a gay man, I support the frisson of danger that comes with seducing a heterosexual and think it would be a baller little feather in your cap to ruin this man's identity and relationship for a fling with you, even if it would be destined to end in agony.

I hear that this misadventure will not affect your job, but I don't exactly understand how that could be true. It sounds as if you work together quite closely and that his flirty banter is part of what makes the gig pleasant, and even if he doesn't have the capacity to fire you (I'm guessing) this affair could devastate the vibe enough that someone else might step in and fire you for its indirect consequences. happens sometimes.

Part of me however does believe in "fuck it we ball" and in being a bit reckless when you find yourself in a moment of raw, transfixing chemistry. chasing after fascinating moments that are destined to shatter our hearts is one of the core aspects of being alive. It keeps us growing, fills us with vigor! Who doesn't want to one day have an interesting story of a love affair like that?

One of my follow up questions would be how rare this kind of connection is for you. If it were me? Someone I truly connect with on the level you are describing is rare, and I've been willing to risk upending my life as i know it over a fleeting few weeks or months of passion before, and sometimes it's been worth it! Some mistakes are worth making, because we will become stronger and more interesting people after they happen!

But another part of me also thinks "straight men flirt with eachother sometimes" makes no sense and that what you are likely experiencing is him not seeing you as a man, or doing the thing some sensitive straight guys do of leeching attention off of queer men to feed their egos. (Which isn't evil, we all need attention sometimes, but it can be devastating.). If he lets you down because he sees you as a man and is not gay, that might relieve the pressure for you and work out fine. If he is into you because he doesn't see you as a man, you two will fuck and it will be horrible in the long term probably. But maybe hot in the short term.

I also think there are probably hotter ways to play this one (and more strategically effective ones) than a straight-up love confession, which would probably force him to bring up his girlfriend as the reason not to pursue it.

I think if you really want to SEDUCE this man you should spend time with him after work, ask him to mentor you on a labor intensive but potentially rewarding project, disclose little personal details that endear him to you, ask him lots of questions about himself, allow him to open up to you about his life... and then strike.

I think it'll be interesting if you go for it, at least. I certainly want to hear the story. But I don't want you to get fired, lose a mentorship that is important to your career, or get your ass beat by the gf.

So I will also tap my followers for their feedback.