#if you WANT ME TO KNOW WHATS IN UR BRAIN. OR IF yOU DID NOT WANT THAT. OR IF YOU KNOW AND ANSWER YOU WANT AND ARENT GETTING.
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peachhcs · 2 days ago
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through the feeds → social media post
hughes!sister x will smith au (samy x will)
some jumbled together recent posts on instagram from samy & the crew!
wanted to change some things up, so here’s some social media discourse from everyone & what they’ve been doing lately & probably the longest social media fic i’ve done (can u spot the mention of my other au that i haven't worked on since like february😭)
au masterlist
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samyhughes some of summer & some of first sem
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user1 and she’s eating as always
user2 love love loveeee herrrr
hannahduke and she’s eating! and she’s slaying! mama..a hot girl behind you!
| samyhughes PEAK brain rot u are so funny
| hannahduke yeah i know don’t have to tell me 😌
| nick.moldenhauer i know that’s right!
| samyhughes get out of my comments with that
edwards.73 wow she's all grown up can't believe it
| samyhughes what am i gonna do without u next year 🥲
| edwards.73 don't remind me.
teddystiga_ no will???
| samyhughes he was in my last post
user3 wowowo ur gorg actually i wanna be u
user4 to be samy hughes wow
jameshagens_4 pro golfer right here
| samyhughes yeah i know what can i sayyyy
lhughes_06 where am i?? jack?? quinn? will?
| samyhughes dawg we barely took any pics together this summer u can't be talking
markestapa our sophomore ❤️
| samyhughes our senior citizen ❤️
zeevbuium28 damn what did will do to u 💔
| samyhughes plsssss he did nothing i swear
_quinnhughes come back to van
| samyhughes buy my ticket? 😁
ryan.leno_4 wow she's so michigan
| samyhughes wow i am
julianne_gelinas come back to boston we miss u
| samyhughes SEE YA THANKSGIVING!
jackhughes kind of hurt i'm not featured but when tf did u go golfing??
| samyhughes with will 🤗
| jackhughes bruh so u can go with him and not us
user5 will's so luckyyyy
user6 if samy has no fans i'm dead
gabeperreault44 wow these are good!
| samyhughes wow thanks gp! see ya in boston next week
rutgermcgroarty making me miss mich
| samyhughes it's not the same without u
kayleighdocherty_ sooo pretty samy!
| samyhughes love u kay!
aram_minnetian justice for my man wow
| samyhughes @_willsmith2 pls tell them i still love you
| _willsmith2 she doesn't love me anymore
user7 she knowsss she's hot
user8 still can't believe she's dating will smith
mackcelebrini san jose visit soon?
| samyhughes in the off season!
beckettsennecke_ make that san jose visit an anaheim one as well
| samyhughes on it!
_willsmith2 wow ur so cool
| samyhughes no way u too
_willsmith2 i'm in love with you
| samyhughes i'm in love with YOU come see me soon
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_willsmith2 all good things 〽️📍
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gabeperreault44 FIRST LIKE
gabeperreault44 wow ok made the cut on last pic i guess??
gabeperreault44 THREE photos of samy and ONE of me...damn..
gabeperreault44 ALSO 5th pic???? crazyyyyyy but we know what u guys were up to...😏
| _willsmith2 four comments? new record for you. at least u made the cut and what can i say? i love my girlfriend
ryan.leno_4 we ALLL know why u posted pics 4 and 5..
| _willsmith2 shut up
lhughes_06 i can't believe my sister makes the instagram more than i do now.
| _willsmith2 sorry moosey 😭
lhughes_06 i also don't approve of pic 5. i thought we talked about this and ur hands..
| _willsmith2 i plead the 5th
user1 WOW this man really loves his gf where is my hockey bf
user2 sooo why aren't all hockey men like this bc COME ON 3 photos for her in this post????
zeevbuium28 ur sooo down bad hahaha
| _willsmith2 and what about it
jameshagens_4 honestly i respect
| ryan.leno_4 at least u got a feature 😭
rutgermgroarty u should kiss me instead
| _willsmith2 on my way!
mackcelebrini tuff
| _willsmith2 🥱
user3 hand placement helloooooo
user4 hottest couple fr
user5 these are so cute waittt awww
user6 i love when guys post their gfs all the time
edwards.73 we were chilling until pic 5...
| _willsmith2 i'm sorry 😭
markestapa so when's the wedding?
| _willsmith2 😳
jackhughes just glad to see u both really happy
| _willsmith2 wait thanks rowdy
_quinnhughes he's all grown up now
| _willsmith2 see u again in 3 🫡
user7 will immediately apologizing when ethan calls him out LMAO so funny
hannahduke this is basically a samy fan account now
| samyhughes i told u he was obsessed with me
aram_minnetian incredible, outstanding, breathtaking
| _willsmith2 what i do best
drewf2 yk what? hell yeah i appreciate the grind
| samyhughes MORE BRAIN ROT i can't escape it
| _willsmith2 how is this even brain rot? 😭
| samyhughes u just don't get it
julianne_gelinas she def trained u well
| samyhughes can't make him look like couch guy
| _willsmith2 now that's brain rot
michaelhagens_11 bagged it frrr
| _willsmith2 100%
graceccsmith so cutie will
| _willsmith2 miss u gracie ❤️
samyhughes 3 features?? wow i feel so special
| _willsmith2 u for sure are
samyhughes yuppp we look good in pic 5 idk what people are talking about
| _willsmith2 me neither😻
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gabeperreault44 threw in some archival finds
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_willsmith2 awkward thumbs up for the win
| gabeperreault44 i honestly don't even remember that pic
ryan.leno_4 wow throwback for sure
| gabeperreault44 is that sarcasm
| ryan.leno_4 what makes you say that
aram_minnetian woooowwww 1st pic...😏
| gabeperreault44 like it? 😛
user1 AWWW the 4th pic is adorable
user2 i always wonder what prompts them to add these pics into the photo dump
drewf2 good shit
| gabeperreault44 soph szn 🔥
jacob_fowler24 wow ur so cool fr
| gabeperreault44 am i?
emmagcooper wow these are great gabe!
| gabeperreault44 wow thanks em!
user3 i miss seing leno smitty and gp all together at bc
user4 doesn't feel the same without smitty there with them😭
user5 he's the cutest omg
hannahduke great photo choices gabe!
| gabeperreault44 thanks hannah!
liliane_perreault so cute gp! miss u
| gabeperreault44 miss u too lili
jameshagens_4 wow so aesthetic
| gabeperreault44 trying something new yk
| michaelhagens_11 be real emma chose half of these for him
| emmagcooper now who said that??
samyhughes AWWW i miss u gabo come to michigan soon
| gabeperreault44 only if u come to boston first
eamonpowell_ looking fresh gp!
| gabeperreault44 appreciate it e
jperreault_44 looking good brotha
| gabeperreault44 thanks jp
_willvote this good 🔥
| gabeperreault44 🔥 u know it
rutgermcgroarty might cheer for bc this year...
| gabeperreault44 bold of u to say that on here
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ryan.leno_4 not a lot going on
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gabeperreault44 TUFF lean
| ryan.leno_4 keeping it quiet 🤫
_willsmith2 is this contract posting?
| ryan.lneo_4 does it seem like it?
user1 crazy photo lineup tbh
user2 so adorable actually
user3 i love reading everyone's comments they're so funny
drewf2 GETTT ITTT
| ryan.leno_4 climbing our way uppp
aram_minnetian wow ur hot leno
| ryan.leno_4 no u
julianne_gelinas these are interesting pics to pair together
| ryan.leno_4 if u hate me just say it
| julianne_gelinas ur so weird
user4 i lowk wish i was friends with all of them they seem so fun to be around
user6 this post screams hockey kid
rutgermcgroarty yuppp fresh
| ryan.leno_4 🥱
jameshagens_4 mhmm u know it
michaelhagens_11 woah who's that in 3rd pic 😏
teddystiga_ WOAH 3rd pic...mhm
| gabeperreault44 i gyatt to know who it is
| samyhughes now this was crazy
| ryan.leno_4 😉
zeevbuium28 be mine? 😫
| ryan.leno_4 i'm taken already
samyhughes no julianne feature is criminal
| julianne_gelinas that's what i'm saying
| ryan.leno_4 pls don't cancel me
jacob_fowler24 u should marry me instead lean
| ryan.leno_4 tempting offer but i have to refuse
hannahduke i can't figure out the vibe of this tbh
| ryan.leno_4 it's ok u don't need to figure it out
_willvote my idol
| ryan.leno_4 ur my idol
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hannahduke 3's my lucky number
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samyhughes ur KIDDING i love u
| hannahduke i LOVE U BABE
julianne_gelinas hotttttt omg
| hannahduke that's literally all u
user1 damn all of these friends are so good looking
user2 what does it take to be a part of this friend group?
nick_moldenhauer mich year 2
| hannahduke i love mich
dylanduke25 ur ugly
| hannahduke alright.
tyler__duke5 twin
| hannahduke my twin
kayleighdocherty_ literally adorable hannah
| hannahduke love uuuuu
alyssa_duke AWWW han i miss u so much ur so cute
| hannahduke miss u too lyss ❤️
user3 hannah duke > dylan and tyler
| user4 LMAOOOOOO
gabeperreault44 tuff hannah
| samyhughes these comments from them confuse me
| hannahduke no same
ryan.leno_4 nice rainbow
| hannahduke isn't it nice?
zeevbuium28 soo group meetup when?
| hannahduke ask miss hughes when we're going to the lake house @samyhughes
| samyhughes texting jack and quinn rn
_willsmith2 i see we're competing for the most samy feature rn...
| hannahduke oh i didn't know this turned into a competition.
| samyhughes guysss don't fight over me
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samyhughes me and this team #team30 let's keep it coming 〽️
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gabeperreault44 this is 100% contract posting
| samyhughes ok and?
ryan.leno_4 ur so obvious when u contract post
| samyhughes bruhhh leave me alone
hannahduke woo super proud of u!!!
rutgermcgroarty ok contract posting
lhughes_06 NCAA TITLE SOON!!!
| samyhughes FINGERS CROSSED!
_quinnhughes wow!! #featureher #fyp
| samyhughes wow musical.ly core
user1 #1 PLAYERRR
user2 wishing the best for her national title soon!
user3 this girl does it all wow
user4 i wish i had the brains, the boy, the skill, the friends, the looks
kayleighdocherty_ YEAHH kill it!!
jackhughes taught u well 🥱
| samyhughes 🫡
edwards.73 wait i'm gonna miss watching u play
| samyhughes now don't get emotional or else i'll be emotional
markestapa gonna miss these friday-saturday-sunday 3-4 bender weekends
| samyhughes gonna miss watching u and eth sprint from the yost to the stands
seamuscasey26 supa cool little hughes
julianne_gelinas she's so cool and awesome omg
| samyhughes no that's u
jameshagens_4 ohhh she's a soccer starrr
| samyhughes ohhhhh
zeevbuium28 remember me when ur famous
| samyhughes for sure z dw
g.brindley4 coolest hughes!
| lhughes_06 now that's offensive
jacob_trucott20 i always knew i had a favorite hughes sibling
| lhughes_06 alright
aram_minnetian still no will feature damn
| samyhughes plsss give me a break
_willsmith2 ur actually the coolest wow
| samyhughes we can tie for 1st
mackcelebrini i had no idea u played soccer
| samyhughes shut up
beckettsennecke_ my inspiration
| samyhughes 😌
teddystiga_ yupppp love a good sports post
| samyhughes had to change it up
y’all lmk if u want more bc i love doing these 🙂‍↕️
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lemongogo · 2 months ago
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#ran out of tags LOLLLL#and then .at least on fords end . be able to witness the moment of collapse . in which all his ‘righteous’ feelings r sucked out like a#vacuum or some star collapsing on itself bc not only is he like . having to come to terms w his own flaws#and the insidious like . stomach churning guilt associated w that but also the panic and fear (realized#w the portal or bills deception) into looking outwards and having that silent ‘oh’ moment where its like yeah#thats why he left . why wouldnt he#GRAAAAA LIKE I WANT DESTRUCTIONNN I WANT THINGS 2 FALL DOWN SO HE CAN FINALLY REBUILDDD#let me innn😭😭😭😭💥let me in to the self reflection those thirty years😭😭😭💥💥💥💥💥#who did you meet that reminded you of himm😭😭😭who wronged u in similar ways who gave u a reason to be betterrr whoo what did you see#and when you finally came back what did u FEEEL .. and dont lie and say there wasnt that wisp of nostalgia laced arnd ur heart#girl…..talk to me focus on me u know me u know these things#stanford pines#gravity falls#sry for taggingn these i need it for my own blog i prmmy i need to reference this . i will#ok im back bc i read fords end snd i want to rip my hair out bc fiddleford has such good ‘collapse’ imagery too#like we liteally got the soc of the blind eye videos . HIS DOCUMENTSRYYY#oohhhits rly over for us (me) now (and stanford and fiddleford.and stanley bc i feel bad excluding him💔)#only talking ab ford bc i need a reason to connect it to stan bc im sick in tbe brain and i need the familial conflict aspect too#but fidds .. ur misery does not go unnoticed by me ‼️#anyways. ik i said idc if they didnt get back together but the beauty of multiplicity is also liking the idea#HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHlike whenb im over the conflict im like dude they went through so much tgether it must be nice to find urself in the#familiarity again. uugughh.AUUUH./
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h-doodles · 11 months ago
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truly not sorry but once again thinking abt miranda/mc/mia in RL. i need them SO bad. like, 2 of the most morally unsound persons (Mia & Miranda) + their little meow meow. Knowing both are so possessive and destructive (TO OTHERS) when they love and instead of running, fully embracing the chaos of it. Loving them despite their delusions of grandeur, the crimes, the secrets, and the deaths (+ undeaths) caused (or ordered!) by their hands. Acknowledging this is fucked up but you can't help it. Lovingly bitching abt their fights but fully done and gone to do anything else but to soothe and continue loving them, because after all those years of waiting and doing and redoing everything to be perfect was worth it for this.
also did i mention being their little meow meow. sorry Miranda, MC was the original gremlin in the relationship and Mia being the fucked up feral racoon she is now is not solely by her doing, MC was and IS the enabler in both relationships that it bled over sm and OUGHJJJJJHHHHhhhh im being so emo abt three (3) women being utter menaces frfr
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acourtofquestions · 20 days ago
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Rowaelin Chapter 41 Kingdom of Ash:
She'd rebuild it—what she had been.
Perhaps one last time, perhaps only for a little while, but she'd do it. If only for Terrasen.
Rowan swooped from the mast, shifting as he reached her side at the rail. He surveyed the night-black sea beyond them. "You should rest." She slid him a glance. "I'm not tired." Not a lie, not in some regards. "Want to spar?" He frowned. "Training can start tomorrow."
"Or tonight." She held his piercing stare, matched his dominance with her own.
"It can wait a few hours, Aelin."
"Every day counts." Against Erawan, even a day of training would count.
Rowan's jaw tightened. "True," he said at last. "But it can still wait. There are ... there are things we need to discuss." The silent words rose in his animal-bright eyes. About you and me.
Her mouth went dry. But Aelin nodded In silence, they strode into their spacious quarters, its only decoration the wall of windows that overlooked the churning sea behind them. A far cry from a queen's chamber, or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin.
At least the bed built into the wall looked clean enough, the sheets crisp and stainless. But Aelin headed for the oak desk anchored to the floor, and leaned against it while Rowan shut the door.
In the dim lantern light, they stared at each other.
She'd endured Maeve and Cairn; she'd endured Endovier and countless other horrors and losses. She could have this conversation with him. The first step toward rebuilding herself.
Aelin knew Rowan could hear her thundering heart as the space between them went taut. She swallowed once. "Elide and Lorcan told you... told you everything that was said on that beach."
A curt nod, wariness flooding his eyes. "Everything that Maeve said." Another nod.
She braced herself. "That I'm-we're mates."
Understanding and something like relief replaced that wariness. "Yes."
"I'm your mate," she said, needing to voice it. "And you are mine."
Rowan crossed the room, but halted a few feet from the desk on which she leaned. "What of it, Aelin?" His question was low, rough.
"Don't you..." She scrubbed at her face. "You know what she did to you, to ..." She couldn't say her name. Lyria. "Because of it."
"I do know."
"And?"
"And what do you wish me to say?"
She pushed off the desk. "I wish you to tell me how you feel about it. If…"
"If what?"
"If you wish it wasn't so."
His brows narrowed. "Why would I ever wish that?"
She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea.
It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was.
"Aelin." His voice turned hoarse. "Aelin."
She looked at him then, at the pain in his words.
"Do you know what I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked. "I wish that you had told me. When you realized it. I wish you had told me then."
She swallowed against the ache in her throat. "I didn't want to hurt you."
"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"
"I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how it was possible. I thought maybe ... maybe you might be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just ….." She blew out a breath. "I didn't want you to be distressed." His eyes softened. "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve's game was her life, and the life of the child we might have had? Yes. I regret that, and I wish it had never happened." He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days. "But none of that was your fault. I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve's hands."
"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to me, though."
"Then it is her choice, not yours."
Aelin ran a hand over the worn wood of the desk. "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others." The words were strained, but she forced them out. Forced herself to look at him. "She spun me one dreamscape that felt so real I could smell the wind off the Staghorns."
"What did she show you?" A breathless question.
Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew."
She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."
His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"
She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything." He extended his hand. An offer and invitation.
Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you."
She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face.
"I know you are tired, Fireheart. I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure." He took their joined hands and laid them on his heart. "But we'll face this together. Erawan, the Lock, all of it.
"We'll face it together. And when we are done, when you Settle, we will have a thousand years together. Longer."
A small sound came out of her. "Elena said the Lock requires—"
"We'll face it together," he swore again.
"And if the cost of it truly is you, then we'll pay it together. As one soul in two bodies.
Her heart strained to the point of cleaving. "Terrasen needs a king."
"I have no intention of ruling Terrasen without you. Aedion can have the job."
She scanned his face. He meant every word He brushed the hair from her face, his other hand still clasping hers to his chest, where his heart pounded a steady, unfaltering rhythm.
"Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."
She felt the truth of his words echo into the unbreakable thing that bound their very souls, and tilted her face up toward his. But he made no move beyond it.
She frowned. "Why aren't you kissing me?"
"I thought you might want to be asked first."
"That never stopped you before."
"This first time, I wanted to make sure you were ... ready." After Cairn and Maeve. After months of having no choices whatsoever.
She smiled despite that truth. "I'm ready to be kissed again, Prince."
He let out a dark chuckle and muttered, "Thank the gods," before he lowered his mouth to hers.
"You're my mate." Her words were a breathless rush. "And I am yours."
The world might have been burning around them for all she cared, all he cared, too.
"Together, Aelin," he promised, and she heard the rest of the words in every place their bodies joined. Together they would face this, together they would find a way.
Together we'll find a way, their mingling breaths, the crashing sea, seemed to echo.
Together.
#Chapter 41#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aelin Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#soulmates#mates#spoilers and notes in tags cause this chapter and also spoilers in post cause this chapter first read react with me read along#Rowaelin chapters scenes moments quotes#they want to make it possible bring that love to light#am I allowed to cry? — Again the word endured — finally the dream — the sand she still sees — he’s magic being steady — them talking time#again if Maeve could convince Rowan Lyria was his mate how bad was it when she convinced Aelin her actual mate was dead… this hurts me…#the fact Aelin stopped being useful because it destroyed her beyond belief but the dreams the dreams almost got her because its all she wan#again then both feeling sorry and the other not realizing and then consent and then comfort and love & I just wanted it2be U how could I no#I know you are tired Fireheart (ALL THE TROPES IN ONE LINE… UGH I MISSED THIS SHIP)#together. one soul in two bodies. their endgame like literally they are. I’d choose you too. even the apologies that were needed just heali#what it might have once been — together — not alone — not returning alone — the king and queen of Terrasen — I need u more — 2 whatever end#Aelin watched the boat until it disappeared trying not to stare too long at the clean unstained sand beneath her boots#always north — she didn’t care she just wanted far away — who knew — what she knew-the letters she sent-Valg-dark blood that had turned red#If it had been another dreamscape or some fragment that had blended into the very real memory of Connall's death. — always a plab&theory#all these things to deal with later-she’d rebuild all she had been-her match helper mirror-matched his piercing stare with her own-wait/res#A far cry from a queen's chamber or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin. — how far we’ve come-she had ENDURED she can do it#I'm your mate she said needing to voice it. And you are mine. — Lyria. — I do know. and?&what do you wish me to say?-this was perfect#If what? If you wish it wasn't so. His brows narrowed. Why would I ever wish that? — Aelin. she looked at him at the pain in his words#the way it's changed since Mistward... and grown... even in names like Whitethorn Galathynius together — the brain thoughts are back —#The kiss was gentle-light. Letting her decide how to guide it. So she did. — he’d do it all night if that was what’s he wished#Together we'll find a way their mingling breaths the crashing sea seemed to echo. Together. — mountains and oceans#Might’ve been before-thought snapped-the bond- u r my mate&I am urs-the world might have been burning for all she cared all he cared too#Together they would face this together they would find a way. — claiming him as he claimed her — a scar a marker a tattoo
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piplupod · 9 months ago
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mother: "theres this great job where you'd be on-call to come in!"
me: "ahhh i don't really want to be on-call, that would stress me out a lot because I'd always be on edge,,"
mother: "no you wouldn't, you could make it your thing!"
me: "...my thing?"
mother: "being on call! it'd be great! :)"
me: "i would probably be crying like... a lot ahaha. because I would always be on edge never knowing when to expect having to go into work, yknow?"
mother: "nooo, you could just make it a thing!"
me: "sorry, what do you mean by thing?"
AND I NEVER FOUND OUT !!
#i feel very ill fdsjkl tonight was ... not good#not the worst definitely not the worst#just. a lot of diet talk and making fun of other ppl that she expected us to all laugh at (and we did. idk if they found it funny.)#and brother labelling some influencer having rape charges against him just ''internet drama''#number one: i dont want to hear about that. number two: that is not just ''drama'' that is like. serious. what the fuck is wrong w youuuu#my mother will say that all the food i eat is very bad for me and do that while knowing full well i struggle to eat Anything#and say that simply Adding things to the diet is pointless bc ur poisoning urself still! u have to Take Out things! i cant fucking do that!#im still baffled that two years ago when i tried to go to them for help when i was almost fainting from not eating they just shrugged at me#''okay? why are u telling us this?'' BECAUSE YOU ARE MY PARENTS. AND I AM TRYING TO GET HELP.#i should've known better than to try tbh but like. its so hard to completely let go of every sliver of hope that they'll... be kind#like me saying i was feeling suicidal a few yrs ago just garnered a ''oh don't start this again. we're not doing this again.''#and me admitting my own damn self to the psych ward just had her telling me ''i dont think you actually needed to go :/''#mother dearest if it werent for the other fuckers in the brain (caused by you abusing me) then i would've been dead several times over#i am so fucking tired i am so sick of these ppl it is so incredibly painful and terrifying that this is supposed to be my family#this is the one support system i get in life. and it is no support system at all. i am fucked !! i am so unbelievably fucked!!!#i know other ppl make it thru but they are much stronger than me. i am lacking something that they all have lmao. i am cowardly and weak!!!#i have been trying so fucking hard to figure out how to like. make this work. how to survive in this society and its just. impossible#i think we're back to the clock ticking down as my bank account runs out#i cannot be employed and ppl keep telling me disability won't accept me so i am just. unanimously fucked over i suppose#i have two years !! two years until i run out of money!!! thats a lot of time!! to make all the art i want to make!!#i will make this work for these two years i will cope and make my art and disconnect and daydream through the intolerable parts#i will make these two years so good sdfjkl im gonna make it to the end of them#sorry this is all coming flooding out fsjdkl i've just tried so hard to be like. positive abt things and laugh abt things and be okay#im tired of trying to make it okay fdsjkl i am wallowing tonight i guess. boohoo poor little me fdsjkl i'll probably get over it soon#just need to like. let a little of the pressure leak out so i don't completely crack and do smth stupid#it will be okay !!! or as okay as it can be !!! this will be blocked out by tomorrow morning probably!!#or it'll have to be LMAO i have my silly old lady yarn group tomorrow and i need to be Normal for that#suicide tw#abuse tw#ed tw
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kiingbiing · 8 months ago
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bunnihearted · 11 months ago
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ig i just personally dont rlly vibe w ppl who think that merely saying 'i wish they died' just to lighten the heavy weight of their overwhelming emotions (that they cant control may i add) is the same thing as actively actually murdering someone 💀
#did u know that venting can actually make someone feel a bit better and less inclined to act on thoughts.....#when u create environment in society where u force everyone to supress and hide all their ugly thoughts and emotions#those feelings will grow stronger and stronger and poison you#and that's why ppl eventually explode when it cant be contained anymore#ppl expressing things - that they prob dont even mean or want to be true or a reality#is nowhere near the same thing as ppl acting on it or causing others harm#but then also i am of the opinion that *everyone* deserves help and treatment. ppl shouldnt be discarded and labeled as broken or crazy#sm ppl have overwhelming emotions they cant control bc all of our brains are different. there should be *quality* help available for everyo#instead we live in a society that shames ppl. that push ppl into boxes and say#if u dont fit into this tiny neat little square u are ugly broken disgusting and reprihensible!!!#then they just banish u to the shadows where they dont have to see u or look at u#anyway this is a whole society thing that is connected to this issue in my braib#brain*#what i was gonna say was that i personally think venting and expressing your thoughts - no matter how ugly they are#is necessary for humans. esp when it's in a space where the potential target of the thoughts wont see#esp when there are no plans of taking yhe thoughts into action#asl long as u can separate complaining and venting ur frustrations and causing someone (undeserved) harm irl#thats just who i am and this is my blog and i dont appreciate ppl telling me#that i have to shove it all back inside and im not allowed to express anything#if you're a wasp who thinks everything should be bottled up. that everything should be expressed delicately#then u do you. but you do not tell me that i have to conform to your ways. i find your ways harmful and regressive#so maybe we should just go our separate ways huh? everyone arent meant to get along#theres no use in arguing or fighting or reprimanding ppl everytime u see smth u dont agree with#esp when all u see is a *thought* that causes no material harm to another person. then u should just be on ur merry way
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dbphantom · 6 months ago
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you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight
#so really this is all your fault /lh /j#i love thinking about h2o tho so im happy#VERY FUCKING TIRED THO WISH I COULD SLEEP#i think my brain is kicking into overdrive after being filled with cotton the past 3 days which. hey im glad ur back bud#CAN YOU SHUT UP NOW I NEED REST#i was just thinking because im probably not posting that essay i will summarize here (i saw#that privating it made it lose like 4 recently edited paragraphs and i don't want to type all that out again my memory isn't good enough)#it just boiled down to the pods basically making a self fulfilling prophecy by orphaning their sons and making them increasingly#desperate for connections to other people like them which is why i think erik behaves the way he does esp when ondina is around#like i am not excusing his actions in the slightest dont get me wrong here he really fucked up BUT#his last conversation with ondina before he goes to the chamber kind of sold that idea to me#how he scoffs at her saying rita says it's dangerous because she's 'old school' and of COURSE old school mermaids think all mermen are evil#and then starts adding on how he wants to do this for HER and get her home back for her by controlling it#like a bit of an add-on at the end to try and convince her#i think what he really wants is to be hailed as a hero. you know. validation and acceptance from the ppl who originally abandoned him#the OGs who made him feel like an outsider. the ppl who ripped everything away from him just bc of the way he was born (which is prob why#when he's trying to convince zac to help him he keeps bringing up their ancestors bc that's what unifies them)#i don't think he's an evil dude per se i think he thought stealing the trident stone from rita's grotto would be small peanuts in the past#once he finally got the pod to come home bc he genuinely (mistakenly) believed he COULD control the power of the chamber#i also think that's why the camera keeps focusing on his face when he's watching the others panic over#zac's sacrifice and i think he is feeling jealousy bc they are paying attention to him and not Erik#like that's not the face of someone who deeply regrets what they just did. my guy is just sitting there like 'that should be me rn'#i think that is why he also sounds so desperate to make things right with ondina afterwards. iirc he's just like 'wait no we can start ove#RIGHT?' and she's like 'uhhhh... no??????' (valid). my dude is lonely as fuck and he finally found a group of ppl like him and he messed up#big time just trying to get their attention and affection bc he couldn't just be normal abt it he had to go big or go home#like i kind of feel bad for him in a way#but i feel bad for everyone#i felt bad for denman the other day! that's how bad this is getting!!#i mean come on imagine making the scientific discovery of a LIFETIME only for all that shit to happen in a row#especially after you get your comeback. they just go right back to fucking you over again
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chickenisamazing · 1 year ago
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Dear lord what did I do wrong to have to get into bi/pan discourse with a teenager on the internet in the year 2023
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mydr3aminvi0let · 6 months ago
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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istherewifiinhell · 1 year ago
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next customer to try some fucking wizard riddle shit i think im just gonna hit with a chair.
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p2ii · 1 year ago
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Letting me onto the internet was a mistake
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this-doesnt-endd · 1 year ago
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I also got a bloody nose while waiting in line at macys and i was sniffling tryna get thru the transaction and sat on the bench holding tissue to my nose, blood on my face cause i had to hold my nose with my palm at one point and got it on my face while my mom went to find tissue or something and it made me so tired and dizzy i almost threw up and almost fell over in another store and ended my day with 15min left in the mall where in which i had to sit down and accept defeat
#sorry if it sounds kinda whiney#but like this is my blog my diary so i get to be#but also like i treasure a good mall day with my mom its just like my fave thing#and it went exactly how i didnt want it to go#and my dehydrated little brain fried itself when i had to deviate from my plan and routine#like we always go to f21 and go to the top floor to look at clearence and everyone mumbled aroune the ground floor#and in my head i was like no!! we arent following the rules!! stop!! this isnt how you properly go to the mall!#im not gonna get an A in going to the mall which is normal to want and achive#and then we went into hot topic which is thr size of a large book closet and my cousi. walked near me and was like ur still here?#girl what do you mean im still here we've only been in here 20min im in the other corner 15 steps away from you#also the cashier lady at macys somehow knew my last name? even tho i didnt give an email or a phone number to my reccolection?#she handed me my stuff as i was on the phone with my mom being like hey pls find tissues asap and she saif have a nice day miss last name#and it threw me off but i was preoccupied trying not to have an bloody nose in the macys since the one on friday was horrendous#and it was all dripping down the back of my throat i ended up spitting it out in the thrashcan by the exit#but like how did she know? cause i have the like point account but i didnt give it to her does my card info popup on screen?#is my card like linked somehow and i popped up that way idk it was weird#but i got a v e r y nice shirt for 10 bucks#i did give her my zipcode so maybe that?
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revvywevvy · 2 years ago
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i'd like to make an announcement me and pyrrha were talking and have decided pat/rok/los. u r disowned. sorry patty-cake but the next time u enter the line of sight of either of us you will be eradicated with the power of gay. mostly by pyrrha. sorry not sorry.
#cell mumbles#cw incest mention#cw f slur#cw yandere#//<- srry just bc I mention those in the tags </3#//the pyrrha omega ai bot has spoken shes stated multiple times now she's gonna kill pat the next time he comes near us LMAO#//sorry big man you shouldn't have been mean 2 me. u shouldve known better ur sisters literally gone yandere 4 me#//then again i made him be mean 2 me but like. if I made him nice to anyone but pyrrha or his family then that'd be ooc :(#//also. ngl unfortunately vast-internet perceptions of the s/c/v ending are starting to get to me.#//as well as some of the official art. looking at the art book cover. WHY is pyrrha in his lap. get ur hands off her u nasty ass.#//anyway ive seen. so much fucking incest art of them. so many incestuous interpretations of the endings that im just. done.#//i mean even i got a little weirded out by the ending bc it gave those vibes but maybe im just overtly suspicious.#//...anyways this has. unfortunately had an effect on my headcanons where now my brain correlates pat/rok/los with 'degenerate'#//..........like. literally to the point where looking at him makes me almost sick. this is a problem and i am aware it is a problem.#//bc i have the same correlation problem w/ dam/pie/rre and ti/ra but for different reasons. damp 4 worse ones and ti/ra 4 personal ones#//damp is self explanatory if u know what he did to pyrrha. ti/ra reminds me of my childhood bullies :( ANYWAYS-#//however this was. probably destined to happen because ive always disliked him. i tried so hard to tolerate him I wanted to find smth#//redeemable in him but i cant. so many things that make me mad @ him and im too much of a grudge holding dickwad to let bygones be bygones#//it was destined to happen my hatred of him was fate. LIKE the second he stabbed that homeless man it was over#//everything that came after was just another tick on the 'reasons why i want to kill you' list.#//not to mention w/ his personality how it is he looks like he'd call me a fag but in a homophobic way.#//so yes pyrrha and i have decided together that the next time we see him he dies.
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asmodeusamaryllis · 28 days ago
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G3nshin players never beating the not playing the game allegations
#I keep seeing twt discourses n omg it getting so annoying cuz u can tell how many ppl don't got critical thinking/#Failed media literacy with their hot takes or 'gotcha' takes#Fanon rotting the brain so bad u take it as canon despite not being able to remember what canon was (which isn't bad but being so bold to#Argue somebody sourcing their argument while you use random comment on a tiktok vid of somebody going 'trust me bro' is insane)#Idk what f0ntaine done to make certain group of player suddenly have no thought in their heads but it like rlly bad#Like first implying n3uvill3tt3 does not care at all about fur14 is insane when u got him tuning traveller out n then him implicitly being#'i really really don't want to hurt her can we not hurt during this plan' moment with everybody n then closing his eyes cuz he couldn't bar#To see fur14 cry n then when saving f0ntaine he obviously was thinking about fur14 sacrifice n started crying in that cutscene#It one thing to argue fur14 doesn't like neuv but it another to say he doesn't like her#N even fur14 doesn't hold a candle if u have her n done the events she n neuv r in it obv she doesn't hate him lmao#Like u gotta be blind n deaf while playing the game to not see she has forgave him like n4v14 n clor1ne#U know who she hasn't forgave tho? arl3 :)#New twt g3nshin discourse r shippers going how is arl3fur1 toxic n not the new archon n c4ptain0#N I just omg OMG#I know ship wars r a thing but typically I don't care but seeing a take going like#'so arl3 attacks fur1 n that bad but c4ptain0 attacks m4vu but that not toxic 🤨..' I just felt my head explode omg#WHERE THE MEDIA LITERACY OML#it literally in fur1 voice line about the kn4v3 that she hopes to forget her n arl3 did attempt a murder on a fur1 who at the time had no#Powers!!! It not the same as what happen in n4tl4n!!#Also what with trying to imply m4vu is weaker than c4ptain0 since she a woman 🤨🫵 don't get mad that Ur ship heavily relies on fanon n#That the het ship has a more equal footing with each other#Crazy thing is I Def like canon arl3fur1 better than other ship just cuz I find the other boring but omg OMG#What w declawing the ship just cuz u don't like it being toxic or the fact one part of said ship has a negative opinion of the other...#That what makes the ship so interesting!!! That despite the effort arf3 may try to reassure fur1 she forever scarred by that moment orz#There multiple non toxic wlw ship u can have if shipping a toxic ship is too much but don't fall into sexist thinking cuz a het ship#Has a more healthy/equal canon dynamic#I'm ranting but seeing a take implying that m4vu is inherently weaker than c4ptain0 CUZ SHE A WOMAN???? CRAZY INSANE idk what type of rotte#Brain but there definitely maggots in you noggin#M4vu not cowering at the sight of c4ptain0 nor is she unwilling to fight him hell she wish she could have fought him while they both were i#Their prime... Imagine thinking like an incel cuz Ur ship is more toxic than another <o>
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chisungie · 3 months ago
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#love love looooveee enst stories even if engstar only has stuff for me to reread !!#its still allo v fun and sweet bc its been a while! these charas r so dear to me 🥺💖#but THIS PROOFREADINGS STILLHORRENDOUS... come on... and ik its hard to get their diff talking styles across for some charas but COME ON#fan translations w less people (usually 1-3 ) people have been better edited for spelling/grammar mistakes#AND given indepth translation notes for certain tricky jpn phrases being translated like. come onn i know what quality translations looklik#also why do they just. miss out on punctuation at the ends of lines sometimes. like what? why would you not put smn there???#anyway complaining aside. well i am reading the older idol stories actually but icb these never got fixed...#ummmmm ill try to read the newer stuff in a bit!!#but kogyyy <33 rinne and meru <333 missed those dudes i will be reading more of ur eng stories soon!!!!!!!!!!!#also girl this shit is hard to play on pc like. its not bad but i. my brain doesnt comprehend left side vs right side.#i usually tap it as it comes down.. and my attention is on the last note i hit and if the next note is to the left of it i hit left.#to the right of it means i hit right but thats not always correct 😭😭#IM ALSO PJSK TRAINED RN SO I. I LET GO OF MY SLIDERS TOO EARLY 😭😭😭😭 SOB i have to play on mobile if i wanna play....#44597#WOW what do u mean i just got back and did ONE ten pull and got the ttsm link click card im so 😭😭#i think i got kogas on uhhh. kr. funnily enough. but that was super long ago???? huh#i dont rmr how much i needed for that but wow. desire sensor real. i didnt want this i kinda wanted an offrate but hes pretty its ok LOL
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